#i feel like such a small-time writer compared to Other Authors

[aesolerin]

I like your writing so much I always recognize your writing and username on ao3 whenever I look for anything

You were my first ever introduction to DD a little while ago and now I love it

I thought I would leave a nice message for you and let you know you were someone's intro to DD if that means anything

anon it means SO MUCH to me

[ponett]

i played through alan wake for the first time. here are some things i loved along the way:

the literal first words spoken in the game being "stephen king once wrote..." as alan tries to gas himself up as a writer

alan only being able to jog for a little while before getting tuckered out because you're playing as a novelist

alan feeling the need to point out an extremely obvious The Shining reference in his narration

you put the lime in the coconut

all of the random shit the taken say, but in particular stucky going on about his hot dog rankings

looking at the novels on alan's shelf and realizing how fucking huge he made his name compared to the actual book titles

all the episodes of night springs, but in particular "the quantum suicide" and "absence of creativity" ("Is that too moronic, indeed? Who can tell? It's a fine line between the stupid and the sublime... in Night Springs.")

barry's puffy red jacket being the brightest, most saturated color present in any scene he's in

agent nightingale being a direct inversion of cooper from twin peaks, who HATES small pacific northwest towns, AND having to work with their sheriff's departments, AND their coffee, AND their trees!!

the never-ending list of author names nightingale will call alan

the evil bulldozer that tries to kill you, foreshadowed earlier by the manuscript page "Wake Attacked by a Bulldozer"

one of the patients at the lodge being a game dev and hartman going "he works on... video games. it's trash, of course. but it does involve some small creative effort"

when you're talking to the old gods of asgard at the lodge and tor is routinely smacking the table with his squeaky hammer the entire time

alan and barry driving with the cardboard cutout of alan in the back seat

the rock concert segment

alan jumping like this

the dopefish poster upstairs in the bookstore

the camera panning over during the live action talk show bit to reveal that the other guest sitting next to alan is sam lake himself, who does the max payne face when prompted by the host

the fact that this game has driving segments and you can do donuts and drift into enemies

and, of course... the energizer and verizon product placement

great game

[maxwell-grant]

I managed to finally read The Chimera Brigade and it's given far, FAR more to talk about than I ever expected, and much like last time with Mina Murray and my LOEG breakdown, I'm devoting a separate post to a specific character that gives me far too much to talk about to include in the main write-up. The character in question is a French pulp hero I've covered some years ago by the name of Leo Saint-Clair a.k.a The Nyctalope - here presented as the "protector of Paris", entrusted by Marie Curie herself to watch over the city, and just about detested by everyone who has to interact with him on a daily basis, with the feeling very much reciprocated. He is a profoundly funny character, one of the smartest and most purposeful usages of a classic pulp character I've ever read, and one of greatest, most incisive takes on a pulp hero I've ever seen.

The official English translation of the comic calls him "The Eye", because despite being from 1911 and not having seen any kind of continuous publication since his author was disgraced for becoming a Nazi collaborator, apparently there are Nyctalope rights holders from Jean de La Hire's family who forced them to change the names for this comic and to alter it for all releases of the prequel series Lehman and Gess did, which is a hilariously obscene and yet fitting note to start this on - the very idea of Nyctalope rights holders invested in the sanctity of their hero, which is very funny considering that, within the story of The Chimera Brigade, the Nyctalope is driven in no small part by the fact that his legacy was entirely penned by hack pulp writers, and he desperately wants to correct that so he can take his place next to the greats that he claims he used to be on equal level with. It's an extension of the all-consuming insecurity that completely defines him and makes him such a pathetic, funny, and ultimately compelling character to watch, regardless of how much context you have for who The Nyctalope is.

Saint-Clair, as his alias indicated, has the ability to see in the dark after an injury. He has an artificial heart. He leads a crimefighting organization, the CID.

His decline is all the more pitiful: after traveling through time, rediscovering Atlantis and exploring an errant planet called Rhea, Saint-Clair becomes a collaborator in a 1944 tale called Night of the Nyctalope.

Even as an outcast, he remains a major figure in the French imagination, the missing link between the "gentlemen crimefighters" of the end of the 19th century and the modern adventurers of whom Bob Morane is emblematic.

He is painfully aware that, next to the likes of Lupin and Fantomas and Holmes, he is an insignificant nobody, that history will simply not remember The Nyctalope the same way it did them, and he has no idea why. We can certainly understand easy enough why he is generally despised by the other characters: he's a weasel, he's a cop, he's vindictive and petty, he's a reactionary, he's uncomfortable to be around, he's rude and snooty and demanding, he's self-obsessed, he's a piece of shit, he's unlikable, and we eventually learn he failed his most important promise on the most profound level possible and has only aggravated the problem ever since. And he is aware of all of that, and none of that, in his view, should have any kind of bearing on his record. Up until the finale of this, he had brushed off his failure to protect Spain from fascism, the dying promise that Curie entrusted to him above all else, as a quirk or flaw on the record, comparable to Holmes' cocaine addiction. None of these flaws explain to him why is it that he is not on the level of Lupin and Fantomas, despite having known them and been, theoretically, on their level. He has no context for his own existence.

He doesn't know how profoundly the world is gonna forget him. He doesn't know he's the last of a kind already on their way to extinction. He doesn't know what Jean de La Hire is gonna do in 1940. He doesn't know that whatever legacy he could have as a proto-superhero is gonna be tainted to shit because his author was a hack who sold out to the Nazis and fled town for it. He just knows that there is a Canon, and he is not a part of it, and this fact is killing him and blinding him to everything that doesn't revolve around his attempts to secure a legacy for himself.

The streets of Paris are adorned with big signs of him as it's protector, he is invited to political conferences as an international player of note, and Marie Curie, whose discovery of radium and whose scientific institute defines the backstory of the entire setting, entrusted him to protect the city, a huge unthinkable honor that her own children are baffled by, and none of this truly matters to The Nyctalope, because it's not enough. He holds a position of authority and power, but he is far less concerned with the impending war and bloodshed than he is at what's going to happen to his own legacy. Best exemplified by a particularly funny sequence in Issue 4, where he attends a Soviet conference and and learns firsthand about the alliance/treason kicking off the war that's gonna ruin all their diplomatic efforts so far, and his immediate concern is "what about the Eisenstein biopic I was promised??".

A single hour of darkness, and the vampires will tear the city apart.

What is Saint-Clair waiting for?

The first deaths. The public will crucify us, all he'll have to do is name the place. Well played.

It's in large part this obsession with legacy and imagery that makes him such an unpleasant person. The Curies even state in Issue 3 that the Nyctalope is willing to let the Chimera Brigade fail publicly and let casualties occur if it means he can take greater credit for fixing a problem they failed to contain, and eventually you can even see why he is so obsessed with the public perception: all of his victories and achievements have been hidden. Defeating and killing the secret ruler of the world, protecting the city from the shadows or up top in his airships, keeping dangerous beings hidden in his cave, none of that gets the public applause the Chimera Brigade got for stopping that alien frog.

If he'd kept up his promise to Curie and saved Spain, no one would have seen it happen. He says as much in the last issue that even now, to him, Mabuse is nothing, no more of a threat than Cagliostro, and certainly not as big of a priority as those dirty communists at the Curie Institute he will publicly deal with first. If you stop the threats before anyone sees you do it, they might as well not have existed, and he can't afford that anymore. He needs to have something to show for it all, he needs to have a victory that matters, he needs to belong in The Canon, and he has no way of understanding why he doesn't already.

I've said before, on my old post about the Nyctalope, that he is inherently emblematic of failure in a way that I find very interesting in so far as what it can say about the genre he's part of. How, disturbing origin and weird sci-fi adventures and design aside, he really was essentially a fairly clean-cut superheroic do-gooder. A Superman, a Captain America, indistinguishable from any other idealized patriotic do-gooder, and how none of that changed when his author sold out to the Vichy government. How just that single turn exposes how contextual and finnicky the entire premise of a pulp hero/superhero is, and how what happened to the Nyctalope could have befallen any number of other characters within the medium.

The Chimera Brigade's take on Nyctalope isn't even really about that historical fact surrounding him, although it is very much cognizant of this fact - it is more so about the failure state he represents and lives in. He stands for France, and thus stands for the failure of France in the pre-war era, the failure to do anything against it's fascist neighbors, the failure to assist in containing the threat of Nazism until it was far too late, the obsession with legacy and preservation of image coming at the cost of human lives. The failures of the Nyctalope are the failures of France, and he is a perfect character to stand in for failure. He is the perfect character to do this kind of thing with.

Significant and recognizable enough that he matters, not too significant or recognizable enough to not be irrelevant. A guy who was a perfectly ordinary pulp hero, if not for these strange proto-superhero quirks and that inescapable shame of his creator. He is part of the Canon, but he doesn't define the Canon, and the Canon will not wait for him to join it. He is just one of many pulp heroes, significant as a missing link between the ones that actually matter, and nothing more. Self-proclaiming as the last of the greats, instead of just being one of the greats or the next step of the greats - of course he wants to be the last of the great Gentlemen Vigilantes so that no others can come after him and overshadow him - ultimately a historical curiosity rather than a true step in the genre.

There is indeed real pity, even sympathy, for this contemptible schlub. There is an acknowledgment that his past deeds indeed mattered, and that it's his failure to move past them and grapple with his true present obligations that damns him more so than anything else. A lesser story absolutely would have cared about giving this guy some due, some respect or acknowledgment, but The Chimera Brigade is unflinching and the Nyctalope is not spared. He is laid out in clear terms as a colossal fuck-up loser too obsessed with his own myth to be of any help, and why would he be depicted otherwise? What does it actually mean to be The Nyctalope? What does he want to be remembered for? What does he HAVE to be remembered for?

For his great past deeds that nobody really saw? For his great magnetic personality? For the promise that he never kept, for the city that he doesn't protect, for the country he's failed, for the allies he's pushed away and the enemies he enables? For all these great adventures and accomplishments boiled down to nothing anyone really cares about, penned in cheap disposable pulp magazines? He desperately wants you to overlook everything else that surrounds him and listen to his assertions that he is one of The Guys, because his legend doesn't speak for itself, so he has to babble for it instead. And that's the note he ends on - finally realizing that there truly is nothing left for him, and that he failed on the most profound level possible. That even his tragic realization of failure is accompanied by a hilariously pathetic reveal - that all this time, in his most private quarters, he has all of his supposed "peers" framed in posters looming above him, and he was waiting to put himself next to them.

Holmes, Lupin, Fantomas, they were seismic shifts, they were major notable steps in their genre, they changed the world as a result of them, they were The Guys - and The Nyctalope wasn't. He was noteworthy, respectable, but just that, and he couldn't deal with that - that his legend will fade instead of endure. Ultimately, all he wanted was a spot on the wall next to them, and he's at last acknowledging that not only he will never have it, but that he never deserved it.

Whether you knew all this context about him or not going into this story, all along, deep down he knew the same thing that you did.

[chaifootsteps]

i should've mentioned it when we were talking about tuca and bertie and them doing things right, but the arc bertie goes through with her SA and reclaiming it thru taboo fantasies is very similar to what ive been through, right down to a therapist opening me up to this new side of sexuality, and while it all happened to me years prior to the arc happening in the show, it broke me out of my anti shipper mentality that gave me this sense of justice and rigid rightness in what i was doing.

just thought now would be a good time to bring it up too because of the allegations against you and how what happened to max is basically the same thing that's happened to me. it's such an uncomfortable feeling to know someone who brought you into this world sees you like that, and having a fictional character similar to that person to self insert with in writing has helped far more then feeling disgusted with myself ever did or has, because i can stop anytime i want, or just get to a point where i move on completely from being able to gain anything from this personally. (which im leaning towards for now,) it's like bertie's therapist said, "because this time, you're in control."

i just wish antis could at least be more open to the idea that maybe, just maybe, shaming victims for coping this way isn't helpful, and that the lack of nuance implies shaming these uncontrollable fantasies (because you can't control your thoughts and like bertie's therapist said, "brains are weird!", although ive also heard the fear and arousal part of your brain is closely related which explains so many kinks to me tbh,) is the only form of healing and getting better, which it never will be. this kind of thing, of re-exploring your trauma thru fiction like this, definitely doesn't help certain people and that needs to be respected, but for anyone it does, they shouldn't just be written off as "normalizing their abuse", because im aware enough to keep this to myself, and to other people like me.

come talk to me about me "romanticizing" horrible things in fiction when you remember vivs shows have millions of views, and THATS why her writing like a fanfic author is bad - not because she inherently is one at heart. a large audience of adults should engage with these heavy topics, (and deserve to have them be written well, even if the stans swear they don't because nuh uh it's Da Best cuz mama viv made it,) not literal children. regardless of this unfortunate demographic that's naturally been formed and then unnaturally encouraged by the creator to line her pockets with their parents money, i think people have a moral obligation to tell a well written story about dark taboo subjects when they have such a large scale of production and connections like this, with some gray area in between, because theres some pieces of media that aren't as big as vivs creations or as small as fanfic writers (compared to other indie creations like video games or shows,) either, like mouthwash, or that one horror game with a sibling incest ending. that's what i mean when i said you aren't gonna make anyone want to fuck a lizard, but that vivs story's spread sentiment that would give 1970s victim blaming, "well, what was she wearing?" arguments a run for their money in how gross they are. i don't think max is gonna make anyone want to fuck their own dad either.

i hope this all makes sense! i think this is the most vulnerable ive ever been in your ask box. thank you for being someone who makes me feel strong enough to talk about this.

No, no, it makes perfect sense! Thanks for sharing your story, Anon...that was an incredibly vulnerable thing to talk about, and it couldn't have been easy.

I don't know if it's due to social media or what, but people have gotten really, really terrible at the concept of "I do my thing that works for me over here, you do your thing that works for you over there, and even though we don't understand each other, we mind our business about it." Like you said, it becomes a different conversation the more widespread and professional your piece of media is -- the same way that feeding 1,000 people a day is different than cooking for yourself -- but when we're talking about you and me and Max and all the randos on AO3? An appropriately tagged piece of work that makes a sharp distinction between fiction and reality is harmless.

What isn't harmless is telling someone that their intensely personal coping method is wrong and shameful and that they're a dangerous, evil person because it makes you uncomfortable, and that they're either a bad survivor or lying about being one.

Here's the scene from Tuca & Bertie, because it's so well done and always relevant.

[kaihuntrr]

part thirty/closing remarks: author's closing notes

Ending notes to the fic before it returns on the 27th of November!

Hello! Kai, speaking here, post-birthday time (though I have a lot of commitments to do for the upcoming days, haha)! Technically it’s still the 18th in some other parts of the world, so it’s still technically my birthday, so I’m happy to say that Act I is well and truly over. This has been SUCH a while ride and I’m excited to embark on the next one. Now that I’m talking about it, I’d like to be a little mushy about my feelings on it since I’ve been having so much fun writing it. 

Truely, The Sea Prince was just meant to be a personal project of mine that I thought I could just scatter bits and pieces of over on tumblr to see if people actually wanted to get interested in it. I didn’t expect gaining friends and having a bunch of people really get invested with what I have! Still, I’m happy to have gotten a strong audience, and I hope the next act is welcomed with open arms. 

With some tentative planning, Act II is due to set sail on November 27th! 

This is so my co-writer and I can build up a bulk of edits and backlogs for the fic to keep that consistent, every-other-week schedule! It also just so happens that a new life series is around the corner, so perhaps it’ll help stoke some future things for acts III to V? We shall definitely see! 

Anyway, that’s enough rambling from me. Before I go, I want to give out a short excerpt of the prologue for Act II, just so you all have something to chew on before the upcoming Life Series! <3 Take care everyone, and I’ll see you on the 27th, should everything go according to plan! (If not, best to check out tumblr, but I’ll do my best to keep on schedule <3)

———

Another day, another perfect time to set sail.

Another chance to strike at the beasts that terrorized the people.

Grian stood proudly at the bow, facing the large iron gate in the distance. He saw the large shadow cast by the stone walls, its darkness providing a sense of safety to the town’s citizens with  a glint of the canons that adorned the top. It was a ready defense from any invading monsters, though they never dared to swim close to the islands. Maybe those monsters had some intelligence after all if they knew to stay away from the kingdom. They were protected by the king, the navy, and the hunters, each one ensuring humanity could live and thrive within the walls. It was good. It was perfect. 

It was home. 

It was going to be another exciting day. The crew planned to sail off into the sea, to find some beasts to kill, and to return to the love and warmth of the people and recover. Prepare, leave, kill, return, rest, then repeat. The simple, monotonous life of a hunter was easier said than done. A lot of hunters risked their lives every day to keep the people safe and sound. It was one of the most noble deeds a person could do in their life- it was even more noble to be acknowledged by the king himself. 

One day, this crew was going to earn the king’s approval. They had already slain small packs of those disgusting monsters, an impressive feat compared to the one or two beasts other crews their age had taken down. It was only a matter of time before the king addressed him, his brothers, and their crew. Then, they’d be hunters for the king– better than all the rest! It was going to be one of the best days of their lives, he just knew it. 

After all, he was the cunning Grian Solidarity. He was the youngest of his family and had the biggest hunger to prove himself on the wild seas. He and his brothers had made this crew not too long ago, and with how much money they’d been raking in, they just had to be the best out of all the people their age! The amount of people who had looked down on them for just being green, overeager upcomers wasn’t surprising, but Grian could bet those people were eating their own insults now. They just had to be!

Grian rested his hands on the railing, breathing in the fresh air, and hummed in delight. The ship was prepared to set sail and the others would likely return before the gates were scheduled to open. He’d done his part- checking on the weapons and restocking the ship with ammo was pretty easy when he was with Mumbo and Scar- so he had the luxury of sitting back, relaxing while waiting for the others to get on board–

“Grian?” He jumped at the sound of his name. He turned around to see Joel looking around, worried. “Have you seen Jimmy? I haven’t seen him anywhere.” Grian frowned, suddenly concerned.

Jimmy had been acting weird lately. Not only had he gotten that flower tattoo out of nowhere, but he’d been acting a lot more aloof on their hunting trips too. He’d been acting like that for a couple of months at least. He had been pretty scared of the ocean before, when they were younger, but a little exposure therapy didn’t hurt and he’d been fine. It also wasn’t the first time that he had wandered around like this- but he usually came back well before the ship would set sail.

Grian hummed, trying to recall if he had seen his brother in the past few… hours, probably. He ran through where he’d last seen the other members of their crew. He’d seen Cleo hanging around with Mumbo, Scar and Bdubs were doing something together, and Lizzie was out in the port talking to Martyn before he was due to set off with the Kestrels. Grian remembered catching Joel glancing at Lizzie a dozen times earlier, silently wishing she could join them on their hunts. “...No, I haven’t,” he finally said, putting a hand on his chin. “Any idea where he’d be?”

“No, that’s why I was asking you in the first place…,” Joel grumbled. “He’s probably in the harbor somewhere, let’s go look for him.”

“But I just got comfortable…,” Grian jokingly complained. One sour look from Joel made him roll his eyes and relent. Jimmy knew this town like the back of his hand, just like the rest of them. He wasn’t lost, Grian was sure of it. “Fine. But Tim’s probably just wandering around again. You know how he is.” He shrugged. Joel made a small frown and sighed, but followed Grian as the two descended from the ship and into the hustle and bustle of the port town behind them.

To be continued in Act II: Bait.

[aticklishpercivalwriter]

Some stuff about me that I've been meaning to get off my chest below the cut (sad stuff in the beginning and happier at the end. If you're worried about the blog, don't worry, I'll still be here but definitely going to be posting much slowly when school starts):

Hey all, so it’s taking me some courage to tell you all this, but I've been struggling for the past few months trying to stay positive. You might be thinking, "What? You always seem happy when you post." And most of the time I am, but sometimes that's just what I want you to think, so you think I have everything under control. More importantly, I didn't want to lose the community I have on here or to make anyone worry. I don't like to talk much about my life here and even irl with other people unless I have to. So, I keep these sad, negative thoughts to myself. Have been for a few years now, actually. But now... they're starting to catch up to me, and last semester was the lowest point of my life. Failure after failure and it hurt. The self-doubt about my abilities and the loneliness. It was painful. It felt like I had lost everything. The only thing keeping me together was texting my irl bestie and you all. That's why I never told any of you... or even my irl bestie. I was scared of losing you all and them. You have expectations from me to deliver great tickle fics. I see the number of notes on my fics, and I'm happy they're increasing as I post. But I get scared, too. As I get better, you will expect as good quality or better, that's what my thinking is. If I deliver something and it flops, I feel like you'll lose interest. I know I can't please everyone, but I feel like I need to. It's ingrained in me to worry about what others think of me. Even with my bestie. Even though we have so much history together, I feel like one screw up by me, and it's over. I'll lose them forever. I have presented the most perfect version of myself over the years, but nobody knew what suffering and fear I carried inside. Now it's affecting me into adulthood and the dream I had to become an engineer became dimmer last semester.

On another note, before I come to a happy ending to this post. Reblogs. I feel bad for not leaving any comments on a tickle work I like. And leaving something small like, "I love this :)" feels too short to me because I was always taught to elaborate on comments and I try to incorporate that online and it felt like a chore or I was trying to hard. I do want to leave a small comment, but I feel that you, as a creator, will think I'm lazy or something or don't mean it. As an author, I actually really like those short comments as much as the long ones. Heck, keyboard smash if you want. That tells me, one, you are flustered from the tickles, two, you’re jealous of the characters being the ler or lee, or three, it's funny to me to see your reactions. To me, that means I did my job right as the writer because I also feel similar emotions like that too from my writing 😅. I sidetracked, didn't I, oops. So, about me commenting on others' work, I feel awkward commenting but if I start reblogging a lot of stuff without commenting, I feel bad and kinda look like a weirdo to creators and to you all who follow me getting a bunch of notifications and not wanting to see the stuff I reblog. I also have self-doubt when reading other tickle fics, too, like they are better than mine, and I go into a spiral, and yeah. I know we all have unique styles, but I can't help compare myself to someone else's ruler. There I go worrying again, huh? It's just in my nature, and idk how to get rid of it.

Lastly, yes, there is some happiness and solace I found thanks to my irl bestie. To keep it short, I hung out with him a few days ago (we only see each other after every semester), got the courage to tell him everything that's been bothering me, we talked about it and I learned some stuff I didn't even now about him (he's always happy and joyful when I see him so it was a surprise), had a new goal for myself to work with him in the future (he's becoming an engineer too) it should keep me motivated to strive to be better in school, got tickled by his dogs (I've never been tickled before believe it or not and let me tell you, it's an amazing, giddy feeling trying to fruitlessly defend yourself from a dog's licks but failing miserably. And then catching your breath when you think the dogs had their fun only for them to just start licking you affectionately again. It's even worse if your best friend took a few pictures of you and you look absolutely lame and stupid 😭. But it was fun!), got to tickle him too and he tickled me back (looks like we're both shy lers 🙃, he's not in the tk community btw but he knows my love for tickling), and yeah I've never been happier in my entire life. I have a new goal and motivation and even got some inspiration and drive to write some tickles!

So, that's what's going on behind the scenes in my world and I really want to get back more into tickling and start reblogging and liking more stuff because there is a lot of good stuff I've been missing out just at a glance.

I still have to do my 2024 year in review and Scara's birthday fic along with some wip stuff that I might not finish in time. Plus, showcase to all of you Aether and his lovers house in my Serenitea Pot. Not to mention school starting again on the 21st 😩.

To close, I want to thank all of you who have supported me ever since I started this blog. I can't thank you enough for liking, reblogging, commenting, and appreciating my work. I'm going to be less active on here once school starts, as in I won't post my own fics, but I'll be reblogging and doing short posts whenever I'm on the app and feel like it. I'll still be here, and I'll do my best in school for myself and for all of you.

And special thanks:

@chibimochii You were the first one that liked my first fic/post [that post is gone though :( ] and I really love your art. Part of why I wanted to start this blog in the first place :) I'm proud to have earned your follow as well!

@kusuguricafe Thank you for booping me during that one event. It helped me get out of my shell a little and feel more comfortable posting here :)

@otomiyaa Thank you for being one of the first tickle blogs I saw when I signed up on Tumblr. You are a huge inspiration. I know I mentioned that already before, but another mention doesn't hurt ;)

@wertzunge Thank you for your comment on My Honey, My Bee. There was something with that interaction that just resonated with me and made me want to write more :)

@vaporized-dimsum Thank you for getting me into SethoScara! I wouldn't have been able to write for them without you :)

Thank you, everyone, for reading this far ❤️

-Perz

~Risus Amoris~

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

I am answering this ask like this to prevent any potential harassment towards anyone

Don't wanna seem aggressive but idk abt the "Malleus has to marry a woman to continue the bloodline" in a fantasy magic setting or even in fanfic. Esp in a Disney game where you can wish on a star for a kid or love each other so much a Bio baby can appear. There's magic bullshittery going on too so you can make one. Also if any if the twst dudes do get a gf I don't get why people can't just pretend she doesn't exist or be poly? Maybe make a dramatic divorce fic?? Idk.

I do agree with you anon, a small minority makes everyone look bad (if I'm understanding this correctly)

Its the number one thing I hate abt the TWST Fandom or fandoms with this sort of premise in general. There's always this weird minority that ends up being the most vocal, especially as younger people are discovering Fandom but that's another story.

Usually the best thing to do to make your fandom experience the best is to block ppl you don't like and ignore stuff you don't like. It's what I do and I've been having a great time. Something something community fridge.

Glad u kinda brought this up cause I have a mini rant of my own that's related as someone who's been in fandom/fanfic for a while ll put under a read more— just noting my experiences and stuff I've noticed. I hope this doesn't come out wrong cause I worded stuff incorrectly.

This is not to attack or shame anyone. Don't be weird. Don't harrass anyone. If you don't agree that's fine. Just don't be assholes. This is just my experience as a male insert writer. This is very incoherent and all over the place l'm tired.

l esp notice this in self-ship x readers from my years of running different masc/male reader blogs. No one wins in situations like these. I have seen people ask other people online to not draw/ship their Mc with their fave because they ship their Mc with the same character and all. They get really upset and toxic over it too.

Here's some other stuff I've seen:

WIw/bisexuals/ect are made fun of for wanting fem characters and chances are these fem characters will be torn apart by some of the toxic ones in the Fandom.

People with male yuus are sometimes attacked because "they're not gay!" Or are think Yuus roles more feminine or are accused of misogyny

Female Yuus get in the way of the yaois or have to be a certain way or in the test fandom they have to be boys cause everyone at NRC is a boy.

Most x readers are Female (not afab which is different) so a lot of trans/masc ppl are left out and a lot of fem readers being tagged as x gn or x male

Male x Readers don't take off as well and chances are the author will sorta quit for that reason- it's hard to want to continue writing if no one cares abt it and it can just be in your head

Ive see a lot of F/M writers sometimes feeling like they have to apologize for writing such things.

A good chunk of x readers also end up very y/n in nature with the "weak perfect messy bun" thing and that's totally fine but a lot of the time it's not very x reader. (That being said dont be an asshole to the writer cause its not your cup of tea. Just ignore it. Community fridge.)

I personally try to make sure I make Yuu completely androgynous and give warnings about if Yuu is more muscular, has hair, is tall, ect.

It's also why I tend to write stronger-personalied Yuus or those that are taller/buffer in appearance. This doesn't make me better than people who write y/ns, shyer readers or fem readers but I have been compared and said that I write MCs 'better" when that "better" is just preference. Don't gotta tear the others down you know?

It's why l've been doing mainly gn or masc gn because I notice a lot of fem x readers tend to not include personalities that I personally prefer/imagine with my ocs and all that I see more in male x reader fics and I notice that all sorts of people want more of that

I've even gotten fem readers send asks abt it I the past on this blog abt this too

Not to mention the off aggression of Masc Aligned DNI!! For female writer inserts or Fem Alligned DNI! In very toxic or ignorant ways like Women can't like male x male cause fetishing and all that.

I do agree with your points anon, but I have seen this stuff before. I have received death threats on previous blogs for writing male and trans readers. I have had people tell me that I am misogynistic for not writing fem. This isn't even including AroAce ppl in fandom esp those who actually like smut or romance fic or those who want something besides it.

I also don't think that all women or people in general want their f/o to always be 100% available. (It prob just came off more strongly worded in the post than intended) I don't think that most would truly care aside from a "aw man", and I think that if it truly does distress someone, fandom may not be for them and they may need to take a break from it. I also don't like how us vs them it is. It's not a women issue, it's an immaturity/toxicity issue. It's just a small part of the Fandom that are the loudest and the absolute worst and you should block them and be done.

I like making spaces for masc/trans/gay/disabled readers since we're not often repped in fic, but this doesn't mean I think I'm better or that I hate fem insert writers. I follow many and they're wonderful people that are also safe spaces.

The only people I blame for harassment, are the harrassers. No one else. It's a slippery slope to rope everyone into a specific category just because of a small minority and I'm not interested in that waterside.

Idk if this is making any sense but I hope I got one point across.

[k-s-morgan]

Recently checked back up on ATLWETD to see if it had updated and followed the tumblr thread here. Imagine my surprise seeing all of the wonderful snippets and asks you answered. Tom using the mood stone? I almost forgot that was a thing. And finding out that Tom was just being a possesive/calculating bastard when he took Harrys food is embarassing to me since my guess was so far off. I thought that Tom inferred that Harry suspected him of poisoning/ truth seruming his food when he told Tom "Happy Poisoning".

Anyways, I decided it was finally my time to step up and praise you like the glorious writer you are. How on earth you could ever believe that your works arent as creative or as plot heavy as other tomarry works is beyond me. To me, your fics have lovely foreshadowing that makes me pay very close attention to anything that is mentioned offhandedly by a character because in your works everything means something. (Like seriously, one detail I missed in WHGTB on the first read was Harry reading the description of the book Tom was going to use to bond him and you stuffing permanent bonding inbetween fertility and necromancy. You had Harry misdirect us by having him muse about necromancy so we wouldn't notice. And you're right, I didn't)

And the humanity and characterization that you give to any character you write? Hell, i'd say you give them more layers than the origional authors. I always know that you won't make the characters make stupid and out of character actions just to advance the plot.

My experience with your writing started with WHGTB (my first convincing tomarry fic btw, you were the one who snagged me). After that, I trailed after your content like a lost puppy. I consumed your hannigram fics without having a spec of knowledge other than "haha cannibal eats the rude". I have now watched the telltale John Doe/Bruce Wayne playthroughs on youtube and rewatched the lego batman movie for the first time since i saw it in theaters when it came out. A Rule for a Rule is shaping up to be the best thing that happened to batjokes (outside of Half Way Across). I've even tenatively read through your Black Butler work, which I was hesitant to look at given the age gap and having never watched the anime. Should have never doubted that your approach to their relationship would make sense. You make an anime which could be categorized as ridiculous (I apologize, I have no nostalgic memories of this anime holding me back. I read your fic first, the anime can't compare) into something psychological and beautiful. Just so so real.

Anywho, there's my small (because I could genuinely write an analytical essay on your works and enjoy it) love letter to your writing.

Stay safe angel, it's unfortunate that I can't do anything to help you or your country. Even more disgusting that my country could help if they gave half a shit but won't. I would say I'm praying for you, but given that I'm not religious that goes nowhere. So, pathetically, my 11:11 wishes will be used for your continuted health.

Hope your writing continues to bring you joy <3

Hi! Thank you so much for such a lengthy, wonderful ask - I have a few more unanswered ones in my ask box, and I'm so delighted that my stories evoke so many thoughts and feelings in my readers!

Funnily, quite a few people thought that Tom sharing Harry's food and drinking from his cup is related to Harry's 'happy poisoning'! This never occured to me. I admit I love when such stuff happens because it proves how a text is its own thing, a living organism, something that the author and every reader can have vastly different interpretations of. In this case, yes, I intended for Tom to keep testing the intimate boundaries and to see how much Harry would allow, to gauge what exact type of relationship they used to share. Slowly turning him into a possessive, obsessed monster in love is such a delight.

I'm so gratified that you enjoy the foreshadowing I'm trying to build! I do love it, and I can tell that in ATLWETD, the seeds of the largest plot twists and the ending have already been planted. It's difficult to recognize them without knowing the rest, but if someone re-reads the whole story after it's done, these little hints should become obvious.

Also, it's so flattering that WHGTB became the first Tomarry story you really liked! Really, it's an honor, considering how big this part of fandom is and how many brilliant stories fill it. And knowing that you followed my fics across the fandoms despite not being a part of them - wow! I'm speechless! You honestly made me blush, I'm so happy to hear all this.

I appreciate every word you wrote - this means so much to me, I re-read your ask a couple of times because of how happy it made me. I hope you continue to enjoy my stories and discovering new great fandoms :D Thank you!

[blueaetherr]

romance oblivion

pairing: mason mount x fem!reader [she/her]

warning(s): angst?

summary: the one where feelings are no longer mutual

author's note: something short to get myself out of my writer's block. my requests are open if anyone wants to send a request or two <;3.

In the second hour of the day everyone and everything seemed well settled in the night. The neighbours' music and lights were off by midnight, the streets beyond the estates quiet and deserted of traffic and commotion, all while the animals of the day decided to retire until the early hours of dawn returned in the following hours.

Yet in the early hours of the day, Mason and Y/N were mildly awake. Still dressed in party attire from earlier, resting comfortably in Mason's conservatory. Under a dim light, surrounded by the dark of the night, they entertained themselves with their slurred jokes from fogged minds, dancing with a lack of care and laughter that occasionally brought them out of their fatigue.

Here was Y/N and Mason, friends who were openly intertwined with one another. From the way they spoke to one another, from the way they were able to spend time together outside of normal hours, the way they chose to compose themselves in the privacy of their friendship compared to in front of others—which was all the same—it was difficult to expect anything other than an honest friendship that would see years and milestones to come.

Tilting her head she focused her gaze upon the individual on the other side of the coffee table. She asked, "Tell me, Mason: how are you?" 

He offered his friend a wondering look. "How am I?" Mason had to repeat the question to himself. For the time since they settled in the space, their conversations had only known laughter and unserious behaviours. The shift in conversation was more than sudden to him.

She rolled her eyes as she laughed a bit. "Yes! I don't see anyone else here to ask."

Mason reached his hand back to scratch the nape of his neck. He let his sight wander away from Y/N. "Well... I don't know what to say," he exhaled, leaning his head rightward. It was a simple question to answer, sure. Though returning his eyes to Y/N's unfazed gaze—a look demanding and pronounced, a look purposely in his vision—he felt the need to deliver. He sighed as his face relaxed back into a smile. "I feel like you know everything about me already." 

And he was right to think so 'cause for the most part, it was true. Considering they had been friends since the beginning of time, they lived near one another and their friendship included but wasn't limited to personal and intimate conversations, it wasn't a surprise that they knew enough about one another just as they did themselves.

"C'mon, Mase. There has to be something I don't know about," Y/N said as her face opened up further, her eyebrows lifting slightly. She mentioned in a small voice, "Let's not point out the elephant in the room."

In fact, here was Y/N and Mason, friends and ex-partners who were openly intertwined with one another.

While exes they chose to remain friends—incredible friends even. After two years of dating, they knew it was time to let each other go romantically to preserve all they already had. Their break-up, as unfortunate and tragic as it was, was necessary and understandable; they wanted different things for one another and themselves, leaving them feeling unsupported in the relationship that was initially nurturing. 

As always they were patient and kind and gentle. To themselves, to one another, to the process of returning to a friendship that actually never faded away. Nothing was irrational, arguments were limited to nothing and feelings were preserved on both sides.

"I mean..."

Watching Y/N eating with a lack of care, focusing her sight upon him, her legs raised at ease on the coffee table, slightly undone in front of him. She made it clear that she was comfortable being around him as a friend, as an ex and as a friend again. She was clear of him. She no longer thought about him until her mind ran dry of thoughts to explore. She no longer held valid nor romantic feelings for Mason.

Yet here Mason was. Watching Y/N like his own reflection, struggling to form words from his distant thoughts, uncertainty every time he spoke up, observing her every action with changeless admiration and longing. For her, for something more with her—whether worthy or not of it. He had been trying to move on, trying to focus his thoughts on someone else, anything else though his attempts weren't enough. 

From the time they had ended their relationship up until now, Mason still wasn't over Y/N... and she didn't even know, both not even in the slightest way.

So Mason had to say, shrugging through a now pained smile. "Nothing, nothing has changed for me... Same old, same old, you know."

And though he wanted to say more—to express himself, to say hear me out or let's give us one more chance—he knew he couldn't so he didn't. Not only for Y/N's peace of mind but for his. After all, before they were lovers, even before they were ex-partners, they were rightfully friends. A friendship that had always been around and uniquely theirs. Y/N was his friend, and Mason would never compromise that for his own gains.

That left Mason stuck somewhere in a place where he would be alone and without Y/N. Somewhere he would continue wanting and yearning for someone who no longer desired him. Somewhere he would continue falling for Y/N with nothing to break his fall. And his most devastating reality, somewhere he would continue to fall for Y/N while she no longer would for him but rather for someone else.

[tavyliasin]

Writer Interview Tag

I was tagged by @redroomroaving and once I'd finished feeling about a hundred emotions from reading I managed to follow it up.

I definitely got a little personal as well, and I know I’m prone to rambling so I’ll pop the questions and answers below the cut. A mild CW for discussion of physical pain and some very very light mentions of mental health. Tagging @morb-untamed @sweetmage @dmbakura @hydropyro @ineadhyn @nicocoer @wixed to do this if you would like to, but there is absolutely no pressure to talk about yourselves or in any personal detail. And anyone else reading this who I missed tagging (I forget names and tags so often, forgive me) please feel free to use me as your tag-in and let me know so I can read your answers too.

When did you start writing?

I have no idea, truly. Stories and reading were a big part of my life since before I could read, and as soon as I could read independently I devoured books and imagined stories in quiet moments. There are a few things I’ve worked on under another name, another identity, but no massive published works. A couple of unfinished SFW fanfics, and some larger original projects that remain on hiatus. As for writing smut and spice and taking fanfic more seriously? That all started in September 2023, and has just grown from there. I was hesitant at first, and you’ll see that in my early author notes, but from there I feel I’ve truly grown in my style and skill, as well as my creativity and ability to delve into character details and kink alike.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

Since writing more, I’ve become a terrible reader. I can’t really focus on it for long because my brain goes into ADHD rebellion and says “no, no, we don’t want to read story we want to create story” which is endlessly frustrating when I have stacks of unread books and a ton of fics earmarked by very talented authors. I will say there is a particular thing many may notice in my works – when writing, I very rarely refer to genitalia in direct terms. It’s just a personal preference when writing, you won’t find the word “cock” in any of my works, but contrary to how it might sound I have absolutely no issue with reading it in the works of others. I am an odd creature, I freely admit that. So…yes, there are themes, pairings, styles, and vocabulary features that I enjoy reading but do not write myself.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

I don’t hear comparisons really, and I don’t aim to emulate anyone either, though I will admit I try to keep just a few little moments of humour or sly winks to the audience in similar ways to Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams. Just those quick lines or cutaways that for a moment join reader and author in a little shared joke.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

I can only really write comfortably in one place, at my PC. I have 3 screens set up around my seat, which is actually the end seat of a reclining sofa, so I have a heated pad behind my back to reduce pain. I have a mini fridge with drinks on the table beside me with the side screen that has Discord on it at all times, my larger screen (the TV) sometimes has character images for reference or notes or just Spotify up so I can swap songs and playlists quickly. The last screen is in front of me on a table that goes over my footrest, and my keyboard is on a lap desk over my legs. 

I’ll almost always have my headphones on, and a small fan when it gets too warm. Sometimes I do end up a little chaotic with snacks in reach and meds also on the table so I don’t have to have anyone fetch them for me.

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

It can’t be controlled. The muse is as fickle as it is demanding, when it’s there it wants everything all at once, and when it’s gone?... It leaves a devastating emptiness that honestly I struggle with at times. Even right now, tonight I planned to write, but when I finally got the free time and got set up…nothing feels appealing to try. So I’m doing this instead, and not forcing it. 

There are things I try at times, and things I recommend, too. First? Before you start writing, tend to your basic needs. Do you need a drink? Food? Relevant medication? A nap? A talk with a friend? A bit of fresh air or physical movement? If one of these needs hasn’t been met, it’ll likely soon become an obstacle to your writing. I like to have a drink and snack ready and with me when I start so it’s there as and when I might need it, and I do rely on caffeine like a stereotypically unmedicated ADHD author…

Second, set the mood. It can help for some people to have this routine, to get their playlist going, to be in the right place, to have the things that set a whole zone and bubble. For a while, I had a specific hat I would wear when writing for another project. I could tell myself “I am putting the hat on now, so I will focus and do this thing” and in some way it trained me to write more. I know others who have done things like always listening to a specific genre of music to write, so now when they hear that genre they get the urge to write. Third is take a shower. Nothing gives me more ideas than a good shower, and I even bought a waterproof notepad and pencil set so I can make those notes whilst in there and not fret about forgetting an idea. Other than that, I recommend going back to the thing that inspired you to write. Play the game or watch scenes with the characters you want to write about, find their voices and mindsets. You can also close your eyes and imagine the scene like a play – put the characters on your stage at the start of the scene and watch what they do in the scenario. Let them show you how they react. Some people also do well to write out a plan or bulletpoints, but I find personally this can bite me in the ass because the process of writing can often stray from my original plan. Which isn’t a bad thing, but it can feel frustrating that I didn’t use ideas that I was initially passionate about.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

Ah here it is. Whilst I could go quite simply with the kinks that I keep utilising that don’t surprise me in the slightest – I know well that I enjoy writing a spicy shifting of power balance between strong-minded characters, as well as a lot of BDSM kink – there are deeper parts to this. Identity. That’s a theme that keeps rearing its head beneath a lot of works, and you’ll find it most noticeable in how I write both Haarlep and He Who Was, but it tends to worm its way into other things too. It…did not surprise me, though, because it’s something I have struggled with over this past year within myself.

I created this name, this identity, as a way to be comfortable in sharing kink fiction and spicy works without it being easily identifiable under my actual name. I still don’t like to be too personal, or share my face or real name under this one, because I would rather keep a few close friends and family out of sight of my fandom thirsting. I’m certain a lot of us are the same – it isn’t really about shame but knowing that I, and they, would likely not be comfortable discussing this level of subject matter. I’ve relaxed a little over time, and have no doubt that a few may have worked out who I am and simply kept it quiet which I appreciate endlessly, just as I appreciate that those who do know both of my identities have never shared that information or made it public. I’m happy to meet people in person, just not to have my self online shared with my other self, as I’m sure you can understand. Anyway, I digress…

Something that the keen-eyed accomplice might have noticed in me is a shift in my speech. I used a few more mannerisms and speech patterns, particularly terms of endearment, under this name when I began. It was a way to separate the self, as well as to engage with a different audience in a different way. I explained it to the few who knew both early on as “same person, different font”, because I don’t change who I am just a few parts of how I speak or interact…but I’ve dropped a lot of the endearments now. Partly because there were more than a few who expressed they were uncomfortable with this in conversation – which I fully respect and understand – so it was easier to just drop them entirely rather than double checking or switching vocabulary between people and servers. But it has also fallen away a little as I have become more comfortable with both sides of myself, allowing them to integrate again more, and I owe a good amount of that to being able to meet fandom friends in person and find that they didn’t turn away from knowing all of me and instead have become even better friends. 

So…yes, the theme of names and identity keeps popping up. The power of names, the importance of identity, how one can hold on to one’s sense of self when it feels as if it is wavering, or when a role must be played. It’s little wonder I was so strongly drawn to so many favourites. Another recurring theme, of course, is pain. Physical. Whilst this is often in the form of kink and pain play, I’ve written a few pieces where it has been a point that is not about the sexual and positive side. I am in pain. 24/7. Without end. It will not get better. It has been this way for over 10 years. The level of the pain is “I cannot walk more than 10 metres before it is too much”, and “I have to drastically reduce and monitor my physical activity to prevent pain getting worse”, so I feel very intimately familiar with pain. You’ll find it in my writing as visceral and detailed descriptions of the sensations, because I’ve felt every one of them and might just be feeling them in that moment as I write. 

I’m going to keep trying to write short comfort pieces, too. Because as I once wrote as a dialogue line for Halsin, when Tav asked how he always seemed to know the right thing to say:  

“Sometimes we say the things we need to hear the most.” 

What is your reason for writing?

Every reason ever. There’s…not a lot I can do in this body. So many hopes and dreams and even careers I’ve had to leave behind, through the struggles of mental and physical health. Whilst the former is far better, the latter is the issue… But writing is something I can do with little physical effort. If I’m in pain, I can take my medication and absorb into fiction. 

I started writing smut as a challenge, but also as a way to tell a story I was becoming rather attached to. My main longfic was one born from playing the game, and wondering about telling the story between the lines, giving reason to the choice the player character was making under my instruction. Since then, it has grown to be so much more.

I’d love to sit here and tell you “I only write for myself, I don’t need external validation” but that…would be a half-truth at best. I write because I love sharing these stories, I love that they can reach out and touch hearts and minds in ways I might never know, but I adore when someone does send back their echo across the vast void between us to say “I enjoyed this” or “this story made me feel something”. That’s…it’s everything to know I have some value. Which sounds a lot like I’m pinning my self-worth on feedback or kudos, and whilst I can’t deny that’s a hard habit to break, I do know it isn’t everything. I just want it to still be something. To know I can do more than just…exist. 

Truly if you were to ask me what I feel the purpose is to my entire life, it would be “to leave each corner of the world I touch a little brighter and better than it was before I got there”, and whilst I know that’s impossible to do all the time I still want to try. And writing? Sharing stories? That’s leaving a positive mark, giving someone enjoyment in their day – yes, even sexually, with the kinky and sexy writing. That is still a positive to someone’s day, an indulgence, something that lifts them and certainly nothing to be ashamed of.

If I can do more than that with emotional writing, with comfort pieces, with cathartic moments and with stories that have more meaning behind the words…all the better.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

The best are the ones that pull out favourite lines or moments, but honestly every single comment means the world to me. An incoherent keysmash, a simple “I loved this”, even those are such a boost particularly on a hard day. 

Readers, please know how much it helps. Even a click on the kudos as an anonymous guest, it’s…it lets us know we aren’t just shouting into the void. It tells us those Hits are not people just opening up the fic then closing it because they hated it. It means the whole world to know we’ve done something that you enjoyed, in whatever way that was.

I’ll also say that some of the ones that have meant the most and have stuck with me are comments on the more personal pieces, like with The Love of Loviatar – the Abdirak x Reader fic where I play a little with worlds colliding to allow a reader character who experiences chronic pain (remarkably similar to my own, don’t think about that too hard) to have that moment with Abdirak who validates and appreciates them exactly how they are. Gentle care mixed with BDSM, trading the bad pain for the good pain, the pain that is welcome and has purpose, a little fantasy of enjoying what the body can do rather than being trapped by what it cannot… Every time I get a comment there, I damn near cry. Or just openly cry. They mean so much. I know how much Abdirak can mean to us, and I am so glad I can reach you all. 

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

I…well… To be thought of at all is an honour. I’m shocked any time I encounter someone who has read my works, despite logically knowing I have a good number of readers from the numbers alone. I just…don’t look at those numbers often, it’s not good for me. 

I’d like readers to know I care about them. Every last one. To know I would love to tell all the stories they want to read, and that I fully welcome their messages, comments, and even friendship when we share social spaces. There’s something special about the connections we can make in unexpected places, and I’m just delighted to be here sharing stories with you all. 

I don’t need high respect, endless adoration, or some kind of pedestal. I’m a human, unfortunately – squishy and fallible and flawed and suffering and there is still beauty and worth to me even when I don’t see it myself. Just saying that last part louder for everyone else who has loud negative thoughts of themselves. It’s ok for you to see my flaws, and it’s ok for us all to have love for one another despite those flaws. Love in the platonic sense, of course – there are levels of connections we make with people from a distant echo of a brief exchange of words to the direct warmth of a friendship. It’s as important to not underestimate the value as it is important to not overestimate our closeness to people we don’t truly know.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

I am beginning to believe it is the wild ideas I have for crackship pairings and turning them into something serious and meaningful. I love taking an unlikely coupling then finding what makes them actually genuinely work. 

I’m also getting quite confident in sensual writing as well as kink, in the particular style that I have for it. I know well that it isn’t to everyone’s tastes, but those who do enjoy my style and method will always have something in the buffet of fic to fill their plate.

I really hope to transfer this to my original work when I get it finished, as I feel like just maybe I might have a niche of style that isn’t as often seen in published works. Then again, I’m not exactly devouring raunchy original fiction so perhaps I’m entirely mistaken and would get ripped to shreds by critics of the genre. Who knows? But I will try to get published when it’s done. I hope a few of you might even read it someday.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

Ahh definitely both. I have written characters and pairings I’m not personally into that much, though sometimes (Yurgir) I have found myself enjoying the character after writing with them. It’s a fun little quirk, I start writing something thinking “am I into this?” and realise later “oops new kink acquired” or “ahh ok I see why people like [character] so much now.” 

I do really love writing requests or rare pairings/characters that readers haven’t seen before or are excited to see more of. I hope to keep doing a mix of that and the characters/pairings that I love most myself. If there’s something you’d like to see, I’m more than happy to take suggestions – there are a few kinks, characters, and tropes that I have a hard “nope” line on (not kink shaming, just personal comfort levels – I love that you can enjoy those things elsewhere I am just not the chef to cook that dish for you) but otherwise I love wild ideas and writing something that someone explicitly wants to read~

How do you feel about your own writing?

I really struggle with this one, but I think many of us do. I go from feeling confident that people enjoy what I’ve written and that I have this skill to bring worlds and characters to life with mere words on a page, yet other times? I will freely admit some works of mine take longer because I just hit this point where I just cannot tell if it’s any good. I know intellectually that I have the same style, tropes, stories, kinks that people like and enjoy, but as I’m sat there staring at it I’m questioning everything because I’m just not feeling it. That seems pretty natural, I think, that we are the worst critics of our own works because we’ve read them so many times or thought far too hard about every word and line… But I tend to solve this with an external view. Beta Readers have saved works from near extinction by checking it over, telling me what does need fixing, and reminding me that actually the rest of it is just fine I’m simply overthinking it all because my mind is struggling with something else like fatigue or pain or just a low kind of day.

So… Overall, writing has been a new life for me. Particularly in this last year, trying something new – expanding into NSFW fanfic has found me countless new connections, friends, experiences I wouldn’t have had otherwise and a real feeling of accomplishment and validation that just wasn’t happening in WIPs that were taking too long and getting no feedback at all. 

Writing isn’t just something I do, it’s inextricably a part of who I am, and in its own way it continues to shape exactly what “who I am” can mean.

And I am grateful to every single one of you who has shared this journey with me so far. I cannot wait to see how far we can go together~

[banggyu0308]

hey author!!! i love your works so much they’re all so good and i love the beomgyu one omg i think i’ve read it a few times now hehe 🤭 but anyways here’s my request!!

i was thinking beomgyu asking the reader to hang out with him because he’s utterly in love with them and wants to try and confess but they spend the whole day with another member (i don’t mind which!) so he gets really jealous and hides himself away because he’s really clingy and when the reader finds him sulking and asks him why he just spills that he loves them but felt insecure after today because he thought the member would be a better match so the reader shows him how much he means to them ifywim 😏😏 but i live for whimpery sub gyu who wants nothing more to be called the readers good boy i feel like gyu would have a huge praise kink 🤭

anyways hope you have an amazing day and if that wasn’t detailed enough do ask for more!! and stay healthy!! 🫶🫶🫶

i am so so so so so sorry this took almost two months i was gonna make it a whole fic but then i got so writer's blocked and im really sorry 😭❤️

warnings: idol gyu, jealous sulky gyu, praise, unprotected sex, handjob, blowjob, crying (not related to sex), yeah i made the other member yeonjun just for fun, sub gyu but he's on top, reader calls him 'gyu' and 'good boy', virgin beomgyu, mommy kink, very slight pussy eating

beomgyu who texts you so sweetly, asking if you maybe wanna hang out today, he's off of work and the first thing he thought of doing was spending time with you 🥺 a smile on your lips as you type out a response and he's at your house in 10 minutes, hugging you tight when you open the door :(( a wide grin on his face the whole ride to the dorm, asking what you want to do, a movie maybe? that'd be fun, you can cuddle and he can play with your hair and see if he can get away with a small kiss on your forehead... but of course he doesn't tell you any of this. tugging you by your hand into the dorm once you arrive, stopped in his tracks by yeonjun :(( a slight pout on his lips when his hyung gives you a hug and you giggle, and before beomgyu knows it you're off in the living room talking with yeonjun, laughing at something he says, and the bright look of enjoyment on your face makes him want to cry. of course you'd rather hang out with yeonjun... can't compare with his hyung in any way, but it's fine, maybe the three of you can watch a movie together?

beomgyu sitting awkwardly on the couch as you and yeonjun talk, his eyes on his lap, he almost wishes you'd make a move to acknowledge him :(( too sucked in to talking with yeonjun, and when you don't even notice him getting up to leave, beomgyu starts thinking that maybe that's fine... yeonjun's probably better for you anyways

sulking in his room and internally hoping you'll come and find him, tears pricking his eyes and he hides under his blanket when he realizes that's not the case, he's still there 30 minutes later when yeonjun announces he's leaving and you realize beomgyu's disappeared... wandering around the dorm to find him and checking his room... there's a beomgyu-shaped lump curled up under the blanket and you sit on the edge of the bed, voice soft as you say gyu? are you okay?

he doesn't respond but a part of the lump wiggles a bit, and you assume it's his head and he's shaking it. why not? you rub at his back lightly and he flinches, making you draw back your hand. gyu, please, tell me?

he pokes his head out of the blanket and you notice his cheeks are red, his hair messy, and there are dried tear tracks on his face. just wanted to hang out with you, love you so much, not like a friend at all but yeonjun-hyung would be so much better for you than me he admits, tears filling his eyes and streaking down his cheeks again.

your eyes widen in surprise, and your lips form a small o. gyu... i don't like yeonjun like that. at all.

but you were so good together... even laughed at all his jokes he mumbles, hiding his face again.

by this point you're so sick and tired of his moping, and you have no idea how to say what you want, so you simply lay down next to him in his bed, face across from his, place a hand on his cheek, and lean forward to brush his lips with yours. you can feel his whole body tense against you and under your other hand, his heartbeat speeds up so fast you almost giggle, using your hand on his cheek to pull him closer.

only love you like that, gyu, i promise you exhale, pressing more kisses to his lips and cheek before drawing them down his neck, biting a hickey onto the soft skin there... he doesn't even know how many times you two'd be having a conversation and your gaze would just drop to his neck, something so tempting about it. you press a kiss to his adam's apple before licking up it slowly, sucking a mark directly on it, tongue on his perfect smooth skin, and he lets out a whimper so shocking it makes you gasp before running a hand up and down the expanse of his waist... he's wearing a fitted tank top today and he looked so fuckable in it, dipping so low to expose his collarbones, your lips focusing on them instead.

your hand slips under his waistband to palm him gently. his tip is leaking precum onto his boxers, and there's already a wet splotch there when you tug down his pants, sliding your hand up and down his length once, taking him in your mouth after whispering gonna show you that, alright? show you you're the only one i want

he giggles just a little, humming the tune of blue hour before letting out a small hiss, your tongue dipping over his tip and he's already twitching in your mouth, an embarrassed flush creeping up his neck, he can't help it, you make him feel so good :((

but you stop just before he cums, tutting, saying only gonna cum once you're inside me, alright? and he nods in agreement, his eyes wide, and he half thinks you're going to ride him, but you suddenly lay on your back, tugging off your pants and spreading your legs wide for him to see... and beomgyu can hardly breathe, cunt looking so delicious, he can't help settling between your legs with a long lap at your clit before pressing his tip to your entrance, he knows what to do even if he hasn't done it before. pushing in just a little, looking at you for approval before sinking in a little more, gummy walls around his dick making his arms shake, can barely hold himself up :(( losing himself just a little when you clamp down around him, his hips twitching forwards on their own. your lips are parted silently, head leaned back in pleasure, but you gather yourself to gently rock your hips towards his, encouraging him to start thrusting in and out and a slow pace that grows more desperate when he catches your lips with his, mumbling against you am i making you feel good?

you nod, gasping shakily when he presses up against that perfect spot, eyes squeezing shut so, so good, you're doing so good, my good boy, aren't you?

his whole body shakes at the praise, little whimpers leaving his lips as he struggles to keep his pace steady, an incoherent sentence slipping out of his mouth, and you ask him to repeat himself... say it again, please n/n, say again?

and you giggle, threading your fingers through his hair mommy's good boy, aren't you, gyu?

his whimpers turn to gasps and his movements are erratic now, no pace set, just his hips hitting yours repeatedly, and a whine of mommy, mommy, 'm gonna cum, please? makes you jolt back from getting lost in your pleasure. you nod, and he pulls out to cum on your thighs, his eyes going so wide at the sight

he licks up his cum before nudging your clit with his nose, tongue lapping at your cunt until he has you shaking under him, which honestly doesn't take long... his tongue is inexperienced but he knows how to use it, dragging his tongue along your slit to capture all your arousal once you cum under him <3

once you recover, the both of you let out simultaneous giggles, and you pull him close to you, resting your head on his shoulder... he's the little spoon tonight 🤭 whispering in his ear that it's always been him for you, there's no other option in your mind, and look, he's all yours now <3

[thelustybraavosimaid]

Bro you just killed my Kid Cudi listening sesh for this. How many times are we going to go over this with you people for fuck's sake

Rhaelya stans hate Sansa because...

Let me stop you right there. I am a Rhaelya, a Jonrya, and a Jon stan. I don't think about Sansa unless I'm forced to. My hyperfixation is on certain characters. Sansa isn't on my radar enough for me to hate her. Like Jon, I feel little else but indifference for her.

Sansa being a hostage makes Lyanna...look like she was a hostage...because there are parallels in both their situations.

But it's *not* a parallel, and here's exactly why.

Rhaegar is not like Joffrey.

Rhaegar actually died with Lyanna's name on his lips, as was confirmed in the official World of Ice and Fire App.

He was also described as a "love-struck prince" by the author himself:

At last I was able to ask him the question I had sent for the tombola. I have always been fascinated by how ASOIAF embodies the theories put forward by Acemoglu and Robinson about countries with extractive institutions (which hamper development). So my question was: Why do you think the political institutions in the Seven Kingdoms are so weak? His answer: the Kingdom was unified with dragons, so the Targaryen's[sic] flaw was to create an absolute monarchy highly dependent on them, with the small council not designed to be a real check and balance. So, without dragons it took a sneeze, a wildly incompetent and megalomaniac king, a love struck prince, a brutal civil war, a dissolute king that didn't really know what to do with the throne and then chaos. Interesting answer.

[Source]

Joffrey had no real love for Sansa. He saw her as an object to mistreat and misuse. He had no empathy and a deep lack of consideration for other people. He had her beaten because it gave him momentary gratification, because he was a psychopath. How is this comparable in any way to Lyanna at the tower of joy?

In fact, the whole point of what we are finding out about Rhaegar through Dany's chapters is to prove that Rhaegar is literally not the monster Robert has been making him out to be. That all Robert has said was due of his blind hatred of him and little more. So again, how is Lyanna's experiences in the tower of joy comparable to Sansa being beaten and harmed as a hostage in King's Landing?

How could this be a parallel, and can you back your claim with anything other than headcanons that have no basis in the books?

There is a reason why the tale of the winter rose was told to Jon specifically — because Bael the Bard and the Stark maiden is analogous to Rhaegar and Lyanna.

George says this about romance:

It's interesting, to get back to this issue of romance that you raised earlier. When I was in Spain a few years ago, I had dinner with a woman — a Spanish academic — and a big fan of both science fiction and romance, and she had read a lot of my stuff because people said I was a very romantic writer. And she sort of launched at me and said, "What are you talking about?! You are not a romantic writer, you know. Nobody ever lives happily ever after in your books!"

I was defending it, saying, "Well, but that's a different tradition of romance. I don't — I'm a romantic writer in the tradition of The Great Gatsby and Romeo and Juliet, and, you know, the Beauty and the Beast. These things don't necessarily have happy endings, but aren't the most powerful romances the unfulfilled romances — the romances where people go their separate ways, but they'll always have Paris, like in Casablanca, one of the films I showed here. You know, they go separate at the end, but they'll always have Paris." And she basically said, "No, you're wrong. They have to be happily ever after together for it to be romance, otherwise it's just sad."

[Source—clip starts at around 03:19]

This traditional telling of romance is shown quite clearly with both Bael the Bard with the Winter Rose and Rhaegar with Lyanna. Bael the Bard's tale was briefly happy:

No. They had been in Winterfell all the time, hiding with the dead beneath the castle. The maid loved Bael so dearly she bore him a son, the song says...though if truth be told, all the maids love Bael in them songs he wrote.

But also ended in tragedy:

"The song ends when they find the babe, but there is a darker end to the story. Thirty years later, when Bael was King-beyond-the-Wall and led the free folk south, it was young Lord Stark who met him at the Frozen Ford...and killed him, for Bael would not harm his own son when they met sword to sword."

"So the son slew the father instead," said Jon.

"Aye," she said, "but the gods hate kinslayers, even when they kill unknowing. When Lord Stark returned from the battle and his mother saw Bael's head upon his spear, she threw herself from a tower in her grief. Her son did not long outlive her. One o' his lords peeled the skin off him and wore him for a cloak." (Jon VI, ACoK)

Rhaegar left to fight in the War of the Usurper, lost and died. Lyanna died giving birth to Jon. And Jon died trying to save "Arya" from Ramsay.

This is what George means by a romantic love story.

And they also love Arya, because...Arya...looks like Lyanna

Or maybe we just like Arya because she's a fantastic character. Idk OP, could be that.

and isn't as hyper feminine as Sansa

This ties in quite well to the misogyny some "fans" of the series have to women like Arya. It's not because Sansa is "hyper feminine" that I don't care for her. I'm just indifferent to her. Femininity has absolutely nothing to do with it. I don't know if you know, but women can and do express themselves in different ways.

therefore her fans think she aligns with Rhaegar

?????????????

because they...hate Sansa and pretend its a love story

That is 100% the way George is taking R+L's story. This is quite literally his preferred telling of a romantic story. One where they share a brief affection for one another despite the eventual consequences, but end up separated, or worse.

Even though the point of Lyanna Stark is that her untold narrative is comparative to both Sansa and Arya

How is Lyanna's narrative comparative to Sansa? The only thing you've given was a non-parallel of being in the Red Keep/tower of joy, but there's nothing to suggest that Lyanna was trapped, beaten, or harmed there.

The king frowned. "A knife, perhaps. A good sharp one, and a bold man to wield it."

Ned did not feign surprise; Robert's hatred of the Targaryens was a madness in him. (Eddard II, AGoT)

--

For the first time in years, he found himself remembering Rhaegar Targaryen. He wondered if Rhaegar had frequented brothels; somehow he thought not. (Eddard IX, AGoT)

You do not find it strange that the brother of the woman who was supposedly trapped and imprisoned at the tower of joy has no ill words to say about the man who supposedly committed such heinous crimes?

[dapper-lil-arts]

Few mlp fanfic questions.

Are there any stories you read that influenced you to start writing your own?

Are there any characters you find it difficult to write?

I think everyone has their own opinion on what the best story the fandom has produced is. What do you think it is?

Does it feel strange to have come into the horse fic writing game so late? Especially with so many big authors already so popular.

Drawing on that previous question. How have the other writers in the fandom been towards you? Have you found the community welcoming?

1 - Not fanfiction, no, I was more influenced on media as a whole! And originally I started writing fanfic before I started actually reading it.

2 - Not in an actual writing sense, but fluttershy and rainbow dash dont rly mesh with my kind of stories usually. I usually write large stories with emotional resonance and lots of drama and action and romance, and characters like Fluttershy and Rainbow are harder to motivate for narratives like these, considering how chill and laid back they tend to me. I find it easier to push the others into drastic situations. 3 - I can't say yet, i've only read a few, and although I've enjoyed plenty, I've never had one to truly engross me and make me think "oh yeah, this is the peak. It cant get better than this" yet. Maybe its bc I write what I want and dont see as many stories like mine out there? Again, large adventures with lots of personal drama and romance all interconected with the same themes and narratives coupled with incredible payoffs. I've seen good dramas and good action and good romance, but rarely all in the same fic! (I have seen some incredible comedy fics tho.)

4 - Not really! I am really glad bronies arent around anymore, i did not want to deal with them, tbh. I will say though, now that the fandom is more chill and lowkey and mostly inhabited by gay people, there's no chance that I'll ever get one of my fics to have like. big audio dramas and comics made for them, no matter how good they are or appreciated they are.

It is definitely a shame when I see an incredibly popular fic and its like. Trashy, not even that interesting and bland, and I think damn. Were i in the fandom back then, could I dethrone this? The answer is no because I will never be famous lmao.

5 - Any writers I've met have been incredibly kind and supporting and fun! it's been a delight to meen peeps working on similar projects like mine and having the chance to discuss our crazy ideas, hehh. It is definitely a bit sadly a not very broad space, since for the people that are fans of this show, not many write or even read. Then you see people going "I never watched equestria girls bc it was teenage stuff" over you know, the children stuff, and I just scratch my head lmao. The writing part of the fandom is definitely a very small one compared to the rest, but there's good stuff in there.

It is def a bit disheartening at times, writing is smth that you put a LOT of effort to make coherent and fun, and sometimes peeps barely read it. it is what it is! i've got close friends that dont read my writing bc they cant focus enough to read or find time, it happens.

[ilovedazaiosamu]

“I love you, Myshka”

author’s note : hello, im a new writer here, if you can, please give me tips on how to get better! /// i’m also sorry that my fyodor is ooc😓

characters : fyodor, reader(you), a doctor

genre : angst, hurt/comfort, happy ending

enjoy!!

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You and Fyodor love each other dearly, at the start of the relationship Fyodor would always be there for you, whenever you’d want something, he’ll give it to you! Oh no!!You’re crying? He’ll find out who made you cry and repent for their sins. Oh my, but look at your relationship now, Fyodor’s too busy with work and won’t give 1 single shit about you, he’ll even hurt you if you disturb him when he’s in a bad mood.

He thought that humans should learn a lesson if they made a mistake, whether big or small, but now, he’s contemplating if he’s God or not… seeing you lay unconscious on the floor makes him feel like he’s damned.. he went over to you and quickly got you some help. But my, my! when a doctor shouted “Go!! get more help!! we’re losing this patient!” Fyodor’s eyes went wide, he felt an uneasy feeling that made him regret everything he did to you.. he wanted to see you smile and laugh again, not see you with lifeless eyes and a neutral face expression. Fyodor would do anything to get you back, to make you show your contagious smile to him, to make you feel special, to get you everything you need and want, to never feel this guilty and uneasy feeling ever again.

……..

(after 1-2 hours)

The doctor walked to Fyodor and asked him, “Hello sir, are you Mrs. [name]’s relative? or someone close to her?” “I am her lover, is she doing okay?” Fyodor said to the doctor, trying to not make himself sound worried, “I’m sorry to inform you sir that she is in a critical condition and needs to rest in the hospital for a few weeks or months, until she’s stable and ready to go, she can get discharged from the hospital.” the doctor said. Fyodor asked if he could go inside your room, the doctor then said yes and let him enter your room, seeing you lay on the bed made him feel guilty for not being there with you. He sat on the chair near your bed, “The moon reminds me of your beauty. So beautiful yet so far away. Here I am wishing I could hold you in my embrace” he said, and then suddenly he jolt up when he heard your voice, “Fedya?? is that you?” as you said softly, trying to make yourself sit up from the bed, Fyodor helped you and then asked you, “Why? why must you do that? why did you try to kill yourself?” silence then filled the room, but it was broken by your response.. “Fedya, you almost never came home, we never do things together, I don’t care if you bought me something expensive, I just want to spend time with you! Why can’t you understand? Why did you have to hurt me whenever I disturb you? You could’ve just scolded me! You didn’t even care whenever I spent hours inside the bathroom crying, you didn’t even want to spend any time with me when you had the time to, it even looked like you didn’t love me anymore, Fedya..” you cried out to him, trying your very best to not break and have a meltdown. “Myshka, never do that again, I’m sorry you felt like that, I’m sorry that I made you feel like that, I’d do whatever it takes to make it up with you, please Myshka, never do that again..” Fyodor said, softly, you smiled at him and hugged him, sharing your warmth with him. “ I love you, Fedya, my heart goes around the moon everytime I see you.” you said to him, Fyodor chuckled, “Myshka, if God ever offered me eternal life, I’d turn him down, because life without you is nothing compared to death, I love you more, Myshka.” Fyodor replied to your words, making you flustered than ever, he then gently cupped your face and then kissed you, you widened your eyes and then returned the kiss to him. In the end, Fyodor will always love you, no matter whatsoever happens to you and him. “Please rest well and don’t make me wait too long, Myshka, I’ll be waiting for you until you are much better.” Fyodor said, you nodded and teased him about getting worried for you.

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[andmaybegayer]

Last Monday of the Week 2024-08-26

Documence...

Listening: Modest Mouse to fill some spaces. I am rather fond of This Is A Long Drive For Someone With Nothing To Think About so here's She Ionizes And Atomizes

Watching: Hosted a rare Good Movie Night, put on Baz Luhrmann's William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet, which is one of the best movies. It's so good. We had one person who hadn't seen it since school, and one person who had never seen it. Truly a great movie start to finish, more movies should just be Shakespeare plays!

I really like how it plays with line delivery, a lot of the Big Lines where a lesser performance would leave some space for a dipshit audience are brushed past in the context of their passages while other normally innocuous lines are elevated to an astounding degree. "Mercutio, thou consort'st with Romeo" is normally a pretty like, passing line, it's very easy to read it as part of the pre-game bickering of Mercutio and Tybalt, but here it marks the point where the game changes from idle banter to a serious accusation. A simply inspired line read.

I'm a huge tragedy lover. It's great how many times a character looks up and goes "hey does anyone else feel doomed". Yo these violent delights are coming to an end anyone know what comes next?

Reading: I have been occupied with obsessing over Documents so I have had Baru Cormorant on hold. Instead, mostly various blogs. One of interest is They Don't Make Readers Like They Used To

This is interesting especially since I've been the main sounding board for @thosearentcrimes reading lately and it makes some interesting points that might be wrong, as is common for this blog.

The key thesis is that readers engage more with the works they read now, but also they are more likely to challenge those works on their fundamentals, rather than anchoring themselves directly in the author's words first.

Some of this is definitely just that more people engage with media now, and it's more visible, is part of it, but that is also kind of the thing it's pointing at. More people are able to engage with media like this who would, I guess, have normally had to become writers in order to express these thoughts. Some of them did!

Playing: Tactical Breach Wizards is out! I am about halfway through the campaign.

It's very a tight tactical combat strategy game, especially if like me you are trying to be quick and efficient with your turns. You can absolutely kite enemies around a level for round upon round if you wanted to in most levels but it feels bad and it will eventually chip you down.

Because you can rewind within each turn but not successive turns you are kind of encouraged to keep your turns dense in action and low in number so that if you need to go back you aren't throwing away dozens of turns of state. Most levels pan out in 1-5 turns, which is small enough that you can memorize every action you took even with a larger squad.

The writing is Tom Francis Standard, mostly snappy quips, but the additional dialogue compared to, say, Gunpoint gives it some room to get a little more earnest. Which is nice.

Making: Bleh.

Tools and Equipment: Live Captions for Linux is an interesting little application that runs a CPU-based live transcription model locally to transcribe whatever is coming through your speakers, or whatever's coming in on the mic.

I've had it sitting on my computers transcribing podcasts, which I often listen to by routing my phone's bluetooth audio via the PC I'm sitting at. It provides a reasonably good glanceable transcript as well as a transcription history that is handy if I lose focus for a second. Rather than rewinding I can just take a look and see what I missed.

[yumemiyas-wips]

All of you SHUT UP and read this.

FULL TRANSCRIPT OF POST BELOW.

Two “rival” Chinese lesbian fic writers submit anonymous posts about each other on Weibo (Chinese twitter).

**I AM NOT the OOPs.** Two authors in the same lesbian fic writing community anonymously submitted posts to a Venting for Writers account on Weibo (https://t.co/BBxcEnSiJ4) (Chinese twitter). Source of the screenshots (https://twitter.com/juexias/status/1615339261611610115) in Chinese from @juexias on Twitter.

Mood Spoilers: CUTE, SWEET, WHOLESOME

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Submission by first author to the Venting for Writers account (https://twitter.com/silencedhawks/status/1615417962693033990?s=20) *Translations done by @silencedhawks on twitter.* — 27 December 2022

Both myself and another writer are quite famous within the same circle. We write and produce content at around the same speed. We don’t interact much between each other, but we have a bit of a little rivalry going on. For example, if she published a piece, tomorrow I have to publish one too. I can’t let her take up the trending spot on her own. We take up half of the trending spots without giving into each other, so we compete quite passionately against each other in secret.

But these two weeks I scrolled, and she didn’t appear, so I checked her profile and realized she was down with a very high fever and had been uncontactable. For a moment the Christmas gift fic I had became bland and tasteless.

When I finished reading, I was really scared. I immediately used my reader QQ account to ask her what happened and found out that she didn’t manage to snatch medicine in time and had been sick in bed for four days straight. After hearing that, I sent half a box of ibuprofen and fever reducers to her overnight. Now I just hope she’ll get better faster so I can properly and fairly beat her up. **The victory of being on top feels hollow when she isn’t here.**

And when she was lying in bed, I seriously thought it over. I concluded that her prose has too many irrelevant words and complicated sentences. What can be said in ten words she says in more than a hundred, apart from the complicatedness, it isn’t that good.

But compared to the others in the fandom, if I had to pick one, her writing is still more acceptable. Amen.

Response post (https://twitter.com/silencedhawks/status/1615423341594308608) by the second author (https://twitter.com/silencedhawks/status/1615423358556045312?s=20) (the one who got sick). *Translations done by @silencedhawks on twitter.* — 15 January 2023

Hello Bot, have some ibuprofen a reader sent me.

This is what happened: A week before Christmas, a lot of people from my school returned to their hometowns. On my way back, I caught COVID and fell sick, and ended up spending the entire Christmas in bed. I was really miserable during that time. I didn’t stock medicine. Even the fever meds I had were from begging my maternal grandma’s neighboring village. My family is a little special, I was brought up by my grandma. She’s getting on in years now and I absolutely don’t dare to let her take care of me.

With no one to take care of me and no medicine, the side effects of COVID left me bedridden and half-dead. Even after the fever went down on the third day, my head still felt like it was exploding with pain, like someone was prying it open from my temples all the way to my forehead.

After I felt a bit better, I decided to bury myself in blankets and check my phone to see how popular the fic I posted was, how many comments there were, in order to cheer myself up. I write in a small circle. Even though I’m not as popular as another writer who writes drabbles in the same circle, I have more comments and a very stable fanbase. Sometimes I manage to get on the rankings too.

There’s a reader who will always leave me meaningful comments on the content of each chapter and is very good at directly pinpointing what I wanted to convey. So I have a very distinct impression of her and later exchanged QQs with her. After exchanging QQs, I found out that she’s very lively and cute, like one of the cats I used to raise. Even through the screen, I can feel the lightness between her words. But she doesn’t use QQ often and is only online late at night.

Her command of language is very good. I asked her before if she would be open to collabing with me, but she said that she may not have the standards and time to churn out fic, and that the most she can do is some shallow writing. It was this reader that sent me medicine after hearing I got COVID. When she sent me the parcel number, it had only been half an hour since we talked.

The medicine had a paper note on it with nice handwriting. Below the note, four tablets of fever medicine had been used and there was still more than half the box of ibuprofen. After I received it, I asked how she would cope without it, and she told me two hours later that she still has medicine at her house. And she said that she was too busy these few days and forgot to say happy Christmas, so was a bit embarrassed. And she sent a very cute sticker, carefully asking me if she could make up for it with a belated Christmas wish. Actually, when I received the medicine, I was already half recovered. But I still deeply remember her Christmas greeting.

She said happy Christmas, and remembered that after she herself had gotten COVID her throat hurt, so she also gave me a box of lozenges and told me not to forget to eat them. **After all, you have to eat sweets during Christmas.**

In that moment I really couldn’t reply because I was crying. I was crying so hard that I scared my grandma. Even though I’ve explained many times, she still believes that the “friend” who sent me medicine is definitely a boyfriend that I haven’t told her about.

The story I want to tell ends here. When I was writing this, she was shopping for CNY (across province) goods with me. After her holidays started, she came online more often but still occasionally lost contact sometimes.

During those times I kept looking at my phone and thinking, **“If heaven exists, I hope we can meet each other in the future.” If it doesn’t, I’m willing to write for her forever.**

(Reddit OP here. These were anonymous submissions and we are unlikely to get any updates from here so I consider it concluded. Side note: The author who got sick has some insane charisma. Get it girl.)