#i feel like people are gonna be like “oh but its fun and silly sometimes things are just fun and silly�� and yeah i know that

[galacticleague]

speaking my truth on npmd because im thinking about this alot. i think the reason it falls flatter than tgwdlm and bf as a musical is that tgwdlm and bf have a running theme — want.

(whole thing undercut)

the cast of tgwdlm want human connection - charlotte wants sam to love her, bill wants alice to love him, mr davidson wants his wife to choke him while he jerks off etc etc, and eventually paul goes from 'i want what anyone wants, money, kids, a partner maybe idk' to - to put it simply - wanting emma (putting it very simply, if i went into detail this post would go off the rails). this switch is what makes him vulnerable to the hive and this want to live and to survive and to be happy with emma is satiated by pokey by giving him the connection he craves via hivemind, this is how it works for everyone. they want to be happy, pokey makes them happy by removing any need to want anything in the first place.

similarly, in bf, the adults of hatchetfield are still miserable and they want to be happy, they have this void within them that they feel they need to fill with products and consumerism. if they buy this stupid fucking doll their kids will love them, they will be happy, etc etc. and this want to be happy is similarly satiated by wiggly via the cult - they have something to worship, or - in lindas case - people who worship them. they have purpose, or at least they think they do, but whether their problems have actually been solved or not - they are still content.

but in npmd, this is less solid. theres that bit where they have to sacrifice what they want the most, but this is near the end. its kind of all over the place, and this wobbliness(?) is sort of just emphasised by the fact that there is no specific lord in black, its all of them. now i loved the summoning when i first watched it because im obviously a huge hatchetfield fan so i like. know who these characters are but as ive seen others say, alot of npmd does rely on knowing hatchetfield lore - understanding injokes. and in hindsight it just... isnt great for the cohesion of the plot.

tgwdlm and bf both have specific themes, specific lords in black, they have subplots but they have a solid throughline that is easier to follow. to me, npmd feels like its all over the place and it just feels kind of...mid for lack of a better word.

i think there were some moments that were just kind jarring? i guess? like if i loved you coming directly after ruths death was really strange, tonally. i wish they spent more time on ruths death tbh she deserved better. richie got two songs and an opening scene. anyways i digress- i feel like whenever i think about it im always like. i just wanted More. which is weird cuz its already like 2 hours long but idk. IDK!!! if i loved definitely felt unnecessary to me- like just conflict out of nowhere. i would have liked more build up to it. maybe im just salty that it took up stagetime that could have been used to grieve ruth but. sorry for the random if i loved you slander i think my point here is that some moments and some subplots felt more tropey, injokey or like fanservice??but not in a sexual way?? - is that the right word to use idk - than actual compelling plot moments. tgwdlm is an incredible work of theatre and uses subversions of tropes to communicate a great story, bf is a detailed criticism of american consumerism and how capitalistic societies force people to rely on products to make their lives better, npmd is. high school drama with ghosts. it just doesnt hit as hard on its own.

i dont want to be one of those "im a better writer, and THIS is how i would have done it!!!! im going to fix this!!!" people so im not going to do that but i think something i would have liked to see was focus on just one lord in black, probably nibbly because i feel like he fits the most and has the least preexisting story. i mean for gods sake, why does wiggly have the most speech time out of all the lords in black again!!! he already has an entire musical about him!!! greedy bitch- well i guess thats kind of his thing. i think i just want to see more of nibbly tbh, he has one nmt story and he only shows up at the very end. anyways that was kind of a side rant sorry gang. there isnt a problem with having a story featuring all the lords in black, but i think it just doesnt quite work in npmd for like structural reasons as well as plot cohesion.

i did enjoy npmd, im not pretending i didnt, but narratively it is the weakest hatchetfield musical and i just wanted to put my finger on what it is specifically. please dont take this as like hate or slander, i am a huge starkid fan, but i think it is important to consume media critically.

also i am not a professional i am a teenage drama and english lit student who likes media analysis and narrative design so just. take everything i say with a grain of salt :)

if you read all this, thankyou and if you disagree please lmk what you think(civilly.i do not want discourse in my notes)!! i could be hugely wrong about this and just need to think more about npmd and id love to see others' analyses!

[toxycodone]

𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺'𝘥 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘰𝘳 !

𝘤𝘸. 𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘦

𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴. 𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘰𝘴, 𝘬𝘢𝘣𝘳𝘶, 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘤𝘩𝘶𝘤𝘬

Laios:

I genuinely think Laios is attracted to the unconventional or stereotypically attractive. Anyone with unique features, personality quirks, etc. If you don't fit in, you're more willing to catch his eye.

He finds it difficult to really like? Gain an interest in someone who doesn't really "stick out". I think it's clear with the way he treats Kabru that like! People kinda are a blur to him! So! anything that makes someone stick out will catch his interest and he'd be more willing to remember them + actually continue to think about them.

MUST. Share his interest in monsters/animals. This is very important. Like there must be a shared interest there whether its just about anatomy, behavior, etc. I just think he needs to be accepted to talk about this and share fun facts. He likes it. Cooking or an interest in food would also be another plus.

Also just? He likes really easygoing people who aren't super judgemental. Laios is really unapologetically himself and he gets chewed out for it by his friends enough. He's very self aware when it comes to his own issues (esp by the end of the manga) so. Yeah. Just someone who he doesn't feel the need to mask around.

Honestly, maybe someone childish would fit his vibe too? I mean this in a more lighthearted sense. Like someone he could play tag with or goof around in the woods with. He missed out on being a kid for a while, and he's still kinda interested in stuff like that (bug collecting, cool rocks, etc.). Even in post manga he still wants this.

Also uhhhh beastkin/monsters/whatever of any kind get bonus points. Do they have to be this way? No. But. It would definitely do some favors to be feral/wild in some way like this.

Kabru:

Okay I am not saying this is healthy or anything, but Kabru is ridiculously attracted to fixer-uppers. The main character/savior/hero complex kicks in and he cannot help it.

This can either be super good for him if the person is like. not terrible and is actually okay with this. but uh. that isn't always the case. Bro is often setting himself up for some sort of situationship most of the time. He cannot catch a break.

But he totally needs to be confronted about this to have a relationship work out. Hope you can be at least a little assertive!

Oh and the people pleasing. It's going so far. Please, I-....

He needs to be stopped.

Ultimately. He's gonna go after the people who show the least interest in him and this SPECIFICALLY comes from his own insecurities as a person.

But in the end he's gonna truly fall for someone who can put their foot down and confront him about these issues. He's so insightful and perceptive when it comes to others and can easily point out and help you with you're own shortcomings. But he is super blind to his own faults. Legit does not. Even realize.

He honestly needs someone to help him grow, because in my eyes I can see him like even post manga being pretty stagnant here so . Yeah. You don't need to be like some badass assertive person either. As long as you can just sit down and have a serious conversation w him about this I think it'd go well.

And he'd fall for you because I think it's the first time he genuinely sees someone who recognizes things that are bad about him + still loves him despite that + wants him to grow as a person and assert his own wishes and needs more. Yeah. I just have a lot of feelings about that.

Chilchuck:

This goes two ways.

Non Toxic Route

He'd easily see himself falling for someone mature and responsible. It would start out as just a professional admiration but it would slowly become more intimate as Chilchuck starts to enjoy their more unique personality traits (and even ones he'd consider annoying) --like being feisty, or maybe they're picky, or they can be silly sometimes. That type of thing.

It's a total slow burn with him.

But he also likes people who are more lowkey. Chilchuck is not a "falls for you immediately/puppy love" kinda guy. He's jaded and has a past and has KIDS so. He needs to be treated gently and not rushed into things. Anyone who lets him come to them and start to be more affectionate without demanding it...yeah. Handle him with care PLEASE.

And speaking of this...he wants to keep up appearances since he does value his professional life and has kids and an ex-wife. So he wants someone that can blend into this life without causing drama or more headaches (his party gives him plenty. pls.)

"Toxic"/Not Gonna Last Route

Chilchuck is easily motivated by the more basic pleasures of life, so I can definitely see him having a bootycall that becomes some weird "what are we" type of vibe.

He's like...in the back of his mind the type to enjoy a "dirty little secret". Something he thinks only him and this person know about. But as time goes on he eventually gets emotionally involved with them and is like "we need to cut this off".

It is an extremely painful breakup on his end for sure and makes him more jaded when its literally! His own fault.

[newkatzkafe2023]

Ok so you don't have to do this if you don't want to and you can 100% ignore this but I gotta ask. How would the Wukongs be with a Reader S/O that is a female version of the lamb from The Cult Of The Lamb? Like such an adorable sweet little lamb girl that turns out to basically be a cult leader death god, who can and will beat demons and gods alike to death with that ever innocent smile on her face.

I LOVE THIS GAME🤩🫨🤯

(Lmk Wukong) Awwwwwww you are so cute and fluffy, he wasted no time fonding over you as you remind him of his nimbus cloud. You both hit it off as you both found each other an object of each other's interests, and you both had fun together. Then so one day when you decided to show him your big secret but then you both were suddenly attacked by another demon and Wukong was about to fight them off. The you suddenly joined in with your crown turned into a sword and switched to an Ax, which shook Wukong but not as much as how you easily. After that fight you bought Wukong to your cult as saw your alter as a lamb with blood coming out of its eyes. Wukong also finds that you being the death goddess is as awesome as it is scary😥

(MKR Wukong) Ohhhhhhhhhh man, he feels something odd about you, like you're hiding something, and he's gonna find out what it is. You were way too kind, too caring, too innocent looking, and the fact that you were patient with freaking pigsy of ALL PEOPLE. You were also ever so adorable on the outside, but their is something sinister on the inside, That when he found your cult, your well organized cult, and the crazy part is you were not only the leader, but the one they worship. The death goddess that is you!!!! when he found that you are a powerful woman who could slaughter monster with an innocent look on your face. He wonders if he can join you, and if your interested in marriage.

(HIB Wukong) He's also a bit suspicious of you but you showed nothing but kindness to both him and his children, you even go out your way to protect them and fight off monsters and other demons. Then one day he saw that the children were missing, and he was rightfully pissed knowing that you had something to do with it and was ready to tear you apart. Imagine his shock when he found you preying with Luier to an alter shaped Exactly like you and silly girl was sitting quietly Something She never did before. That's how Wukong found out about your cult to the death goddess AKA you.

(NR Wukong) Fluffy couples you both so cute together, He met and flirted with you when met you by a hardware store. You blushed a baa at him making him a purr at how cute you are, but it's not like he hasn't seen a cult before. Still imagine his surprise Pikachu face when he saw you running your cult with Corrupted teaching and magic that is not of his world at all. Wukong is not sure if he should be scared or majorly impressed with how you successfully run things, it's not often he meets a woman with authority.

(Netflix Wukong) OOOOOOOOOkkkkkkkk so he may have had been hit by cute aggression when you both first met, you were just soooooo cute and fluffy sitting on a log looking like a cloud that fell from the sky. He found himself sitting next to you shooting a few pick up lines, and Bragging about himself to you as you sat and smiled at him. You both always met in the same spot everyday sometimes with snacks as you listen to him talk but one day he was going to meet you like usual and got into an altercation with another demon Who was ridiculously strong for some reason. That's when you joined and absolutely destroyed that guy making his jaw drop that's when you finally bought him to your cult which freaked him out but he's also kinda jealous that they worship you as the death goddess.

(BMW Wukong) Ohhhhhhhhhh yeah love at first sight with him especially when he found out how deadly you actually are. You had such an innocent face looking up at him and he was smirking down thinking you were nervous around him, but oh that was not the case at all you were actually sizing him up to see if he was a good enough cult member. When he did find out you run a cult and you are actually a death goddess, their was no getting rid of him now he loves a deadly woman with authority and Deception🤤🤤🤤

(Destined one) Oh god two beings staring into each other's souls in silence, it creeps Bajie out to this day. Though the destined one immediately knew something is up with you as you had a dark aura around you despite your innocent smile and face. The Destined one found himself to be right as we demonstrated impeccable combat skills and abilities with an arsenal of weapons to beat monster and demons with. Then it definitely gets crazy when you let him to know that you run your own cult, not to mention your the death goddess which explains alot honestly. One thing's for sure the Destined one is happy to find a girl to creep peopleout with😊.

FEEL FREE TO REBLOG🐑🐐

[sugar-omi]

Before I say anything else, I swear to god I’m not a purist or one of those weirdos who value virginity or think premarital sex is wrong

BUT do you think Rockstar Cove would feel bad (not exactly guilty, unless you like him pathetic like that like I do, but more like regret) about being a hoe before meeting MC? Like yeah he fucked around a lot for fun but now he knows none of it could measure up to doing it with MC, who he would literally move heaven and earth and kill his lifelong dream for and his first time would’ve been so different if it was with the one he loved

Bonus if MC is a virgin because I think that would definitely make him feel guilty for not “waiting” for them and not “giving” them his first time (again, not for religious reasons or anything, just because of emotional intimacy)

I love torturing him and wanna see him in distress hahaha 😈

first of all- SAME. i feel like, i might come across as religious sometimes, all imma say is dont ask me SHIT abt the bible or religion or anything. i fell asleep every time i went to chruch and god is SICK of me using his name in my filthy smut fics, i know it

BUT OMG YES. this this this...

i like to imagine he doesn't sleep around too much, he needs a bit of a connection for that, plus he's a celebrity so he can't sleep around nearly as much unless he's trying to get a fan pregnant or get a new stalker. so his body count isn't through the roof, but it certainly isn't low...

but he is at the very least a flirt. he'll flirt with you up and down the street, maybe even eat you out/suck you off, and if you're really lucky, get your back blown the fuck out.

when he meets MC though... all of that is over the second you make eye contact. he's obsessed with you, cant get you out of his head and he needs to see you again, needs to hear your voice and your laugh... he's totally done for, all he wants is you now and he's never felt like that before...

doesn't really know how to act because he hasn't been a long-term or one-person man until now but he absolutely cannot let you go.

if you've never been in a relationship before, it's been awhile since your last date, or only in one or two relationships that were more or less serious, he's anxious about being perfect for you.

he doesn't wanna scare you off, as if his fame and public image isn't bad enough.

oh my god if he learns you're a virgin though... he's dead. his heart has stopped...

immediately asks if you're serious, and what the fuck, and now he's worried you won't wanna have sex with him, would you trust him to take your v-card? has he slept with too many people for you to be comfortable with sleeping with him? is or would he be taking advantage of you? what if you hate having sex with him?

he's spiraling. he's thinking too many thoughts and its up to you to bring him down and tell him that you trust him, you wanna have sex with him and you are sure you won't hate it.

omg when he tells you how he wishes he could've given you his virginity, that he wishes he waited for you. you have to laugh, he's so silly... because how was he supposed to know that he was gonna meet the love of his life? if he knew, would he have believed it and waited or laughed and went about his business?

when you do finally decide to have sex... cove goes the full 9 yards, takes you on a lovely vacation, buys you anything and everything you look at twice, gets the most expensive hotel room he can find and spoils you absolutely rotten.

has the lights down low, candles lit and flickering gently along the absurdly luxurious room and he takes care of you.. slowly undressing you, kissing every inch of skin and whispering sweet nothings.

pulls you apart with his tongue again and again until you're weak and trembling, begging him to hurry up and just move onto the good part...

he doesn't fuck you, he makes love to you. it's all so sweet and intimate that even he can't help but feel like it's his first time again, his heart beating nervously and he's a bit shaky, moving automatically in ways he knows from experience.

he would cry, he has his arms around you, hardly moving his hips in a way that's satisfying to your long aching body because he's so intent on being gentle with you, treasuring you and tending to you...

cries and tells you how much he loves you, how much he treasures you and that he'll take care of you forever. that you're his soulmate, begs you drunkenly not to leave him and be his forever, to stay with him and love him and let him love you and spoil you. that he'll give you everything he has, materially, mind, body, and soul, everything is yours.

he promises that you're the only one for him now, that no one else will or could ever take your place and that he's always going to be yours in the end.

if this is what your first time is like.. jesus fucking christ, imagine him proposing to you.

[sunkissedliterarylightofchrist]

hey! do you have any tips for running more? i have a love-hate relationship with it

YES!

I used to DESPISE running SO HARD. I've been running for seven years now, off and on (a LOT more off than on lol), but its only been in the last ten months that I really and truly have fallen in love with it!

Number one tip is to get a running app, really and truly! They're great for getting training plans to run to, holding you accountable, and tracking your progress! Seriously, it is SO AWESOME to get to see your stats improve over time, its so rewarding and wonderful! I've never personally used it, but my mom uses Nike Run Club, which she highly reccomends, so if you're looking for a simple, streamlined one to start with, go take a look at that!

btw have you heard of this special one called Zombies, Run!? Its a running app that is also an immersive audio drama that makes you feel like the main character in a video game and has singlehandedly gotten me from despising running to loving it- Oh, you have? okay then.... i mean,,,, if youre interested,,, i have an entire sideblog for it,,,, you could send me some asks about it,,,, i'd love to comply...

But seriously ZR has changed my life, I'm being totally serious here. I could elaborate if you'd like, but long story short, I am in the best physical and mental shape of my life bc of this silly zombie app with blorbos in it, so yeah, never gonna stop talking about it lol.

But the reason why that works, is that it makes running fun! Because lets all be honest, running for more than three minutes on a treadmill with no stimulation at all and nothing to think about besides the fact that you're running and that sucks is the WORST. And doing it outside is better because you're actually going somewhere and see things, but its still monotonus and then you're just lasered in on the 'running is horrible' part after a bit longer.

ZR is utterly brilliant because you are physically incapable of being bored while playing it lol. You're not running a mile away from your house then a mile back, you're charging through the streets of an abandonded city, holding a life-saving cure, your best friend in your headset imploring you to keep going as zombies approach, while having the survival of your fellow runner depend on you as they limp from their injury. It is THRILLING and takes your mind off of what you are doing.

BUT MOVING AWAY FROM ZR NOW FINALLY (sorry i really am obsessed)--

It works because you aren't thinking about running. So that's the cheat code, figure out how to run without thinking about what your body is doing and how it feels icky sometimes. You've gotta learn to be very motivated but then also INCREIDIBLY disciplined in order to stick to it. Find some music that makes you feel like you're in a superhero movie (I have some recs if you'd like!!), find a podcast that is super interesting on a topic that you adore, even go running with friends and talk to them about fandom stuff while running!

Find tools to take your mind off of it that works most of the time, and the in the small fraction of the time where you still don't want to do it, learn the discipline to follow through anyway.

But also, I've found that the main reason running stinks, at least at first, is your body isn't used to it. Really! Whether you haven't worked out in your entire life ever, or if you are considered one of the fittest people on the planet in like swimming or something, running is SUPER hard and super terrible at first because you aren't used to it! Even if you are super fit and healthy, the hard cardio and movement that running requires is just very different from everything else! So anyone getting into running ever should NEVER feel bad about themselves when they're just starting! Because it is a seperate and unique thing in its own category that is special and different! It is scientifically proven that it takes 6-10 weeks of running 10-20 miles a week before your body adjusts and then you're used to it.

But guess what? One day, you're going to be running, and suddenly realize that it is magic. You'll realize that you don't have to stop to walk when you usually do- you can go longer than you have before. You'll realize that wait, you can go faster now! Your pace is faster! And then you'll feel a rush of adrenaline and endorphins and oh! THIS is what they mean when they say runners high! You understand why its called is the healthiest addicting drug in the world now! You'll realize that you have a huge smile breaking out on your face and the scenery is gorgeous, even if its in a dark smelly gym, because you're doing it- you're running! And you love it.

Anyone reading this, please give running a good, earnest shot. Lace up your shoes three or four days a week and go jog two or three miles. Keep at it for two months. It'll be a hard two months. But it'll be so so worth it. Just try. What have you got to lose?

Running is magic, and now I'll never give it up.

[the-s1lly-corner]

TADC cast x short and fluffy reader? (Maybe the reader has an extra fluffy tail)

TADC cast x short and fluffy!reader !

Ooo I wanna make brioche, but I also wanna make macarons... but I also wanna make scones... OOOOOO but I also wanna make butterscotch haystacks (having a crisis) (this is totally unrelated to the ask I just be yappin)

CAINE:

Now to be fair, you didnt specify how short you are so to Caine you're probably just normal sized/j .. absolutely loves your fluff, probably runs his hands through it every chance he gets, regardless of if its hair, feathers, or fur! Since you're on the smaller side he can pro comfortably hold you in his arms while flying around! Loves showing you how the grounds look from above, I think!

No thoughts only Caine taking you up to fly over the grounds while its nighttime and you see all the lights down below and everything looks so pretty!!

He wont drop you I promise

POMNI:

You're normal sized in her eyes/j

Keeps her hands to herself but if you offer to let her pet your tail! Good stress relief, I think! Pomni never really initiates it before you offer, though, since she doesnt really want to invade your personal bubble

Please communicate with her that it's fine and it's not something you mind!

RAGATHA:

Occasional pets! She kind of lies somewhere between pomni and jax in terms of how much shes going to pet you without any prompting! More so a head pats person than a tail.. stuff?? Trust me the "tail stuff" makes more sense when you read jax's part..! Doesnt make fun of you for your height, i just cant see ragatha doing that. I was originally gonna say she would make petnames for you based on it, but I'm not actually sure she would.. has probably made bows and stuff for your tail!

JAX:

(Bumping my fists on the table) jax fidget hc jax fidget hc !!!!! Messes with your tail when its within reach; usually just messing with the fur or lightly bapping it around and watching it instinctively move around in response! He would already tease you for being shorter than him... but if you're actually below the average height (or at least, the average within the digital world) then hes gonna lean really into it! Makes a show of getting something down for you, probably overstretches himself and gets on his tip tops to sell the point (he, of course, not needing to do any of thst thanks to his height)

KINGER:

The "how to talk to short people" meme but hes on the incorrect side by crouching down to your height/j he doesnt mean anything rude by it..! Sometimes likes to mess with your tail by petting the fur when you guys cuddle inside the pillow fort! Honestly I can see him with a fidgeting habit, too, like jax! But I think his is less intense and he has a little more restraint.. that said once you give him the go ahead hes gonna be constantly petting your tail if it's long enough

ZOOBLE:

(Watches your tail swish around) "oh... cool.."

Zooble doesn't exactly feel this way or that about your tail, however I will say you extra fluff makes cuddling with them more enjoyable since they look like they're made of hard plastic (Zooble I'm sorry I love you)

Probably lightly teases you for your height; not to the extent jax does it but they probably let out a flat "haah.. short.." when you briefly struggle with something non important

GANGLE:

Short person x person who can (physically and emotionally) be knocked down easily; you guys both have your own struggles/j

Would never ever in a million years make any mean comments on your height, and this includes teasing and nicknames; she doesn't have the heart to even lightly poke fun at you

Petting can be a little weird, since gangle doesnt exactly.. have hands.. I mean she does, but they're like the ends of ribbon; she doesnt have palms or fingers, nor can she put the most force behind her touches (at least that's my personal hc, she doesnt strike me as someone who's. Strong... or even proportionally strengthed? Idk shes ribbon)

Very silly she loves it when your tail starts swishing around when you see her!!

[heesbabygurl]

It Was Just A bet.

Synopsis: Discovering the truth that your one-year relationship with Jay was nothing but a bet, you take matters into your own hands and decide to seek revenge.

Genre: angst.

Pairing: Jay x Fem!reader

Warnings: one curse word, Jay(accidentally) fell in love, Revenge, heartbreak, lovers to exes, betting on someone's feelings.

A/N: hope you enjoy It, and again It isn't what I intended to be but I think its still 'aight so yah! Love y'all❤💘

"Oh, come on! It's gonna be fun," Jay huffed out a sigh of annoyance, "If I say yes will you leave me alone?" The Australian boy nodded enthusiastically.

"Okay, then I'll do It." Jake was over the moon, as he started doing some silly dance, "I don't know why are you so persistent about it anyway, like what do we get from It?"

"An year of good laugh." He answered simply, Jay muttering a quiet 'weirdo' as he left the room.

Jay did really ask you out after being your 'friend' for a few months, he thought it would be as easy as it seemed, but oh boy, he was wrong.

There was nothing to dislike about you, he liked everything about you, starting from your great personality to your pretty face, and soothing voice, he just couldn't stop himself from liking you, and their bet simply couldn't work.

He fell for you, he just felt relaxed and comfortable around you. He sometimes thought about what would you do If you found out about the bet, but he decided to leave it for the future and enjoy the time he still had with you.

However, Jay a typical 'I only care about my reputation, even if it hurts me and people around me' guy, he still followed through with the bet.

You were happily skipping towards the boy's locker room as Jay asked you to meet him there, you were almost at the door when you heard a conversation coming from the inside.

"So? When are you gonna tell her?"

You didn't mean to eavesdrop or anything but, hearing your boyfriend's voice made you interested about the conversation going on inside, so listening a little wouldn't hurt, right?

"I don't know probably tonight?" You heard Jay huff out, "I still don't know If I'm gonna tell her at all, I don't wanna her hurt her."

"I know, but you gotta tell her, It's been a year already." You heard Jake mumble, "You gotta tell her your relationship with her was just a bet."

"Whose Idea was It huh?" Jay snapped.

Right at that second your heart stopped. A bet? Your relationship? You were gonna burst in to confront him, but then you got an amazing idea.

You: sorry couldn't come to the locker room, I had to leave to go home, something came up.

Jay❤: okay, baby, is everything fine?

You: yeah, It's brilliant actually. I have a surprise for you!!

Jay: Baby, what did I tell you about spending money on me??

You: It's nothing big, can you just come to the location I'll send you right now at 8 p.m.

Jay: yes, I can. See you at 8 p.m. then?

You: yeah, love you!

Jay: love you more❤

"Is everything ready?" You called out to your best friends, as you were doing last-minute preparations for your plan.

"Yes! Everything is great!" Your best friend Aeri called out as she sat down at the table right across from you with your other two friends Shuhua and Minnie.

"You sure?" You asked again, "Yes! Yes! And Yes! Don't worry we're gonna kick his sorry butt!" Shuhua said enthusiastically.

Your phone pinged , and you glanced at it to find a message from Jay that read, "Baby, I'm here."

"Okay, he's here get ready, I can't wait to see his face." You smirked as you took your seat at the table.

Right at that moment Jay walked in, dressed in a black suit. Hmm, not bad. You thought.

"Hey, baby." He immediately spotted you and walked over, "you look really pretty." He said as he leaned in to kiss you and take his seat.

"You look really handsome too." He grinned, oh you couldn't wait to rip that grin off of his face.

"So, what is the surprise you told me about?" He went straight to the point.

"You'll have to wait and see." You smirked as you saw his excited face, oh you're not going to be that excited when you'll see the surprise.

After an hour of you two talking and Jay cracking some lame jokes you didn't find funny anymore, It was finally the time.

"Miss, here's the cake, you ordered." The waitress came and placed the cake on the table, jay looked at you confused.

"A cake for wha-" He abruptly stopped mid-sentence as his gaze fell upon the cake. The words inscribed on it read 'you've been dumped'.

"Happy 364-day anniversary love! Do you like the surprise?" You smiled so brightly it almost looked sickening.

"Wha-What do you mean by dumped?" He looked as confused as ever.

"What I mean by that Is that you've been fucking dumped, park jongseong." You stood up.

"B-but why?" You let out a loud laugh.

"Because It was a bet." Now he looked very, very confused.

"A bet? What do you mean by bet?" He also stood up, looking helpless.

"It was a bet me and my friends made a year ago, that If I could get you, football captain, to be my boyfriend, they would give me a 1000$. A 1000$ can you believe It? That's so much money." You smiled mockingly as you took a few steps back, "You just aren't fun anymore, and It's already been a year so It's time you girls pay me right?" You turned around, looking at your girls as they walked up with money in their hands.

"That was hilarious!" Minnie said as she came up behind you to wrap her hands around your waist.

"So shall we get going," you told them as they nodded, you picked up your bag and turned to leave but before doing so you spun around and looked at Jay slowly walking up to him, and stopping when you were right in front of him.

"It was a fun year really, don't break your heart." You quickly rose on your toes giving him a quick peck on the lips, " Hope you enjoyed It as much as I did." And with that you finally left, leaving Jay standing there, puzzled, he couldn't speak, call out your name or anything. He was just glued to his spot as he watched you leave.

As he watched his first love leave.

Karma?

[psychhound]

Tabletop trick or treat! 🦇

hello jade!!

it seems only appropriate for this to be ... a trick!! and treat kinda :) three treats maybe. so everyone lets all go say

happy birthday @hmooncreates

you can check out hollis's itch here for lots of very fun and cool stuff!!

i want to highlight a few of his games even though definitely poke around through the whole library

in want of a match - yall its so fun. its so so fun. ive played it twice now and i cant wait to play again. in iwoam you play as two characters, one looking for their One True Match and one looking for an Opposites Attract. and its ... a dating sim!! you throw all your blorbos in a blender and then they go on silly dates. its a bit of a numbers game where youre trying to roll similarly to the character youre on a date with, and the table decides which traits you roll on your date. we played once with original characters (god they all became such freaks immediately) and then again using blorbos from other ttrpg games, and both were suuuch fun. the character creation is pretty simple but works really well for the game, and then you just put all the blorbos in a jar and shake em up to see what happens. we want to play a third time where we make a roll table of all our characters from other games, roll randomly to see who were playing, and then just let chaos ensue. its not a hard system to pick up at all, great for silly one shots (especially if someone cant make your usual game), and honestly is really flexible with how much roleplay you want to do for it. you can totally roleplay everything out or mostly stick with broad descriptions and just run up those numbers. tons of fun either way. sometimes the characters that end up being great matches numbers wise are like. absolutely hilarious (freak ass lesbians i love you)

for truth's sake series - for truth's sake is a series of games (with a free srd people have made cool stuff on) where you are an anthropologist studying a fantasy culture and writing an ethnography on it. its a medium crunch solo journaling game that has four really cool settings/cultures (urban witches, a werewolf neighborhood, an inn on the border of the feywild, and a high fantasy city) that all have a unique cast of characters, locations, events, and questions you get to ask the inhabitants. all the games are very fun, but i think my best experience with it was playing urban witches when hollis was over at my house and i was narrating my game out loud instead of writing it down. i was rolling SO DOGSHIT and it honestly became a bit of a slapstick comedy of my guy just absolutely whiffing it with this apartment complex of witches. i was weeping i almost lost the game on like. day three. astoundingly bad at talking to these witches. but all of them are very cool and very fun and devs out there should check out the srd too!!! a lot of the groundwork is laid out for you so you just get to make fun roll tables!!!

the fool who got married (extended edition) - this one is a duet+ epistolary game where one player is a young bride moving away with her husband during the 1840s california gold rush, and the other players are female family members whove been left behind. the main mechanic is that you are on a time limit of crane wives and oh hellos songs as you write your letters to each other, with each character archetype getting a different album they have to put on shuffle as they write. i will be totally honest i was NOT sure how this one was gonna play for me but i ended up really really liking it. i chose to play as the aunt and even though i only went through like five songs or something, she ended up being a really dynamic character and also, as is my way, a little nuts. getting into the mindset of these historical women to this modern music was a really interesting experience. so many of the songs like. really tap into female pain and rage in a way that transcends this time gap and really makes you feel for the character youre inhabiting. the lyric prompts under each song are really evocative, and honestly as someone who hates handwriting things because of hand pain the short time limit on the letters was honestly really helpful. this one is definitely niche but like. i really suggest trying it out. it might surprise you like it did me!!

i think hollis's birthday is as good an excuse as any to check out her games, and if you already have & like them, maybe go leave some comments and ratings too!! :D hollis is an up and coming developer and i cant wait to see the next games he has cooking (i know what they are and im chomping at the bit). so go check out!! give a rating!! give a follow!! you wont regret it !!

[rosypenguins]

I am NOT the you are to drew like Henry is to me anon I am a completely different person however. I'd like to share a little something about Henry.

I had a friend on discord once and we talked about Henry quite a lot, and we made what is what I think my FAVOURITE Henry theory of all time.

Okay, think about it: what's the ONE tmf character that has a design trait that literally HIDES or CHANGES their real appearance to the audience? That's right; HENRY. Henry's real EYES are never seen (except for the glow up video which I'm really not counting because that's like... a silly little thing BUT ANYWAY) in the show. And we all know eyes are the window to the soul. What I'm getting at here is that I don't think that Henry is genuine, not in a malicious way, but in some sort of... like, joke... way?? Gosh I can't explain it but here look.

Think about it. Why the hell would Henry spit gum into Zoeys hair? ZOEY, aka Drew's girlfriend, aka THAT ZOEY? For the comedic value. Because its funny.

Why does he like lettuce juice? Really think about it. Really. What. Does lettuce juice. Taste like. Just fucking water. Maybe terrible water but you can't juice a fucking lettuce. This is a gag, yes, but the only closer similar gag is maybe Zander drinking grape juice I guess... but that's not similar. Grapes can be juiced. Where would you even GET a lettuce juice box? That's right, NOWHERE. Henry must've crafted those boxes, or at least stuck a sticker onto a green juice box, for a bit. Wouldn't that be insane ass effort to put into a bit? Hell, the juice is green. If you juice a lettuce it wouldn't be green. It's not a lettuce smoothie, it's a "lettuce juice". Meaning that Henry either getting green juice or dying water himself isn't out of the picture.

Why is he always goofing around? Sure, you can say thats just his silly goofy aura, but just THINK. He is DESIGNED with silly goofy in mind. His literal physical appearance is silly. HE LITERALLY HAS MEME EYES. HE'S THE ONLY ONE WITH MEME. EYES.

I know this is just an archetype. I know he's just a character.

But just. Think.

He isnt just "a comedic relief character", he IS the comedic relief character. In their show. That's the role he put on himself. The role he's putting effort to play no matter the consequence.

But why would that be? I mean, look at Liam! He's silly and goofy too, why am I doing this whole ass essay?

I bring another point into discussion; the fact that he's a WEEB.

A DORK.

A GEEK.

Now, I may be projecting just a smidge here, but that just means I have personal experiences of that happening.

We all know Drewy Bear loves to adopt absolute fucking losers and up their status, as shown with Jake. And, come on, think about it, Henry is like THE most bulliable character in the show, no offense. So, what I'm proposing,

Is that Henry must've gotten bullied before too. It would make total sense! He's a weeb, excitable, probably says "nani!?" Unironically, etc. And you know, sometimes when you're picked on... you really start to internalise that shit. Sometimes the attention you get from people laughing at you feels good. Terrible, hurtful, and devastating... but good. Because they find you funny.

And you then put ALL your effort into being funny. That's the only thing you're gonna be, after all, you're hillarious. Oh, you can only eat X food? What are you, a rabbit? Hahaha, turn that into a funny bit! Etc, etc etc.

We don't know how long this went on or how long Henry was a Dromie, but one things for sure (in my theory): all of this slowly made him less and less of a person, and more and more of just a joke.

And no, the lettuce thing isn't a reach. I've had this genuinely happen to me personally; people kept on making fun of me because I had to soften my food because of my chronic fatigue, so i turned it into a bit. I'm not ruling this out for Henry.

....

But hey that's just a theory A FREAK THEORY thanks for watching aaaaand send ask

That is a WILD theory but I TOTALLY see what you’re getting at!! That makes so much sense! And it takes his silly role as comic relief and spins it around to be hella depressing. (Turning yourself into the joke just to make people laugh is way too real-😭)

Almost makes me wonder too what if ALL the Jomies were bullied prior to meeting Drew? I mean Liam’s not exactly the definition of cool either. That’d be really interesting to see.

[crushedsweets]

Who are the people that Toby likes the most?

Natalie, Jack, and Ben!

Toby has known Natalie for about 5 years, and Jack for 4, and Ben for 3. ok now im gonna do long ass headcanons for their relationships bc im just soooooooo silly . .

toby and natalie knew eachother when they were at the height of like.. using murder as a relief/power trip. it was a really sick and fucked up thing to bond over, and it wasnt something either of them took lightly or as a joke. but it was something they did talk about, moreso 'let me tell you about my night' and they'd kinda just allude to the murder part of it. eventually, natalie stopped killing as much (and stuck strictly to freak weirdo men at bars/clubs who try taking advantage of ppl). toby doesn't have the luxury to stop bc he only did it when the situation/order calls for it.

they usually just lounge around together. watch trash reality tv, natalie was ashamed of her art for a while but toby loves getting her to show him her stuff. toby taught her how to axe throw and cut down trees. he helped fix up the barn she stays in so it's actually livable. he even got brian to help with shit like insulation cuz theres no heat/ac in it. sometimes he does her hair if shes having an awful night. she never had someone to brush her hair growing up, having no mother/sister/girl friends, and finds it to be insanely fucking relaxing. lulls her to sleep so quick. it reminds toby of lyra and he cried one time after she fell asleep from it. she never found out about it.

toby was the first proxy to be nice to jack. not that tim and brian were horrible to jack (only after he was . . 'tamed' i guess). but toby was the first one to like, bring him things, talk to him, actually attempt bonding. if tobys feeling lonely and natalies not in the mood to entertain, jack was almost always welcoming. ok maybe not welcoming in the like :) hiiii toby. way. but in the. 'ok yea whatever come in i guess' way.

jack used to cook a lot before he was sacrificed. now he doesnt have the same taste buds, and while he can eat human food, its all pretty bland to him. best he can enjoy is insanely spicy stuff, and thats more sensation rather than flavor. BUT TOBY. that fucking dude can EAT. he's brought like a fat steak and veggies and rice and random shit to jacks and asked him to make him dinner. and oddly enough jack was willing to do it. toby continued to do that stuff. jack didnt know about tobys CIPA for a while and was baffled when this white boy from rural colorado could actually handle the spice anytime jack made south asian food LOL.. ("how much spice do you want" "i dont care make it as spicy as you like" "toby are you sure of this" "yeah i can take it").

of the 3, toby is the least close to ben. mostly bc ben is best fucking friends w jeff and toby doesnt like jeff very much(who does?). plus toby figured ben was like a kid and wasnt exactly crazy about being besties with a 12 yr old. But then ben played some video games with him. ben doesnt really Act like an. ipad fortnite tiktok middle shcool type of kid so toby was like Oh he's cool i guess.!

they dont have much in common at all tbh, didnt have similar childhoods and toby didnt play many video games growing up. BUT toby finds so much joy in just having a fucking boyish childish fun stupid relationship where he could play video games and talk shit and eat like crap with yk. they have a very brotherly friendship and it's kinda weird for toby being on the big sibling side of something, but he's fond of it. they get into petty arguments about stupid shit, and went a while without talking bc toby punched jeff and jeff was bitching like 'uumm dont hang out with that prick' and ben was like lmfao ok. toby didnt even realize ben wasnt talking to him tho. . ("hey sorry i was avoiding u jeff was bitching" "u were avoiding me ?????")

[milesconure]

Ngl, since I'm rewatching Pokemon Sun and Moon now, I can't help, but feel stupid, because of how much I didn't want to watch this series at first. And sadly it was, because of the artstyle. I'm gonna say it right now, even tho it's been a while since this season first aired. I'm late. I know that. But Pokemon Sun and Moon is the PERFECT example of "don't judge a book by its cover". I totally understand why people thought and may still think this show's artstyle is a disappointment. Pokemon S&M is happening right after Pokemon XY&Z, a series where everything looks so amazing and the characters not only look more mature, but also act more mature. Meanwhile in S&M, Ash looks much younger, goes to school and acts more "childish". But to be honest? What's wrong with that? When you're watching Pokemon S&M, you see that it has much different vibe than other seasons. Ash isn't really travelling there. He lives in Kukui's house, goes to school and he's just having fun. And here's the important word: fun. It's not that Ash is childish in this series. He's still mature, but he allows himself to just have fun and be a normal kid. After reading some fanfictions, I totally headcanon that the reason Ash came to Alola in the first place was to take a little vacation and heal after what happened in Kalos. Because it was a little weird to see him come to Alola not on his own, but with his mom. Normally when Ash comes home from his adventures, he's ready to go to the next region next day. With Alola it wasn't like that. Alola is a region where Ash could finally rest and have fun being a normal kid. Where he could just hang out with his friends in school and go with them on silly little adventures. Even when there was something serious going on, it didn't have the same impact as in the other series. And even when Ash had to save the world, he wasn't alone. His friends were there with him and they all saved the world as Ultra Guardians. And he found a second home in Kukui's and Burnet's house. Not to mention the father figure he found in Kukui. So what if Ash has a father? What kind of father he is when he literally won't wait for his own son and literally leaves before Ash can even see him? Yup, Kukui is Ash's real dad and that's that. And some would say, oh S&M is just for kids, there's nothing heavy in it. WRONG. It's such a wrong thing to say, because I literally cried on some episodes. Litten's story broke me, Mallow's backstory broke me. There's just so much of difficult topics there. Pokemon Sun and Moon is really amazing. I just feel the need to say it, because I'm still ashamed of how disappointed I was when I first saw the artstyle, even tho artstyle is not everything. And honestly? I'm actually very fond of this artstyle now. I think it's really cute and it fits the Alola's vibe! I'm also protective of this series, because S&M really helped me when I was battling my depression. It's kinda a reminder for me that sometimes it's okay to just stop and take care of yourself. Maybe Ash needed that too! So if you've never watched Pokemon Sun and Moon and maybe left the anime after Pokemon XY&Z, I really encourage to check it out, because in my opinion, it's really worth it!!

[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

since i’d already played the original trilogy approximately seven million times in french, i finally got round to playing french apollo justice instead. just finished it and hoooo boy was this localisation just as interesting

just like in the og trilogy, the entire thing now takes place in france (presumably paris, though they didn’t specify in this one). at least there aren’t earthquakes this time so it doesn’t feel quite as surreal.

apollo’s “i’m fine!” catchphrase is now “tout va bien !” which means “everything’s fine!”

some of the names have been translated again. for example, trucy is now called “Vérité” which not only is the french form of the english name “Verity”, but it also is the literal french word for “truth”, which gives some dialogues a double meaning whenever they’re discussing the truth. “Vous dites... la vérité... Apollo Justice... ?”

they did not change lamiroir’s name. they did however change machi tobaye to “Tomas Kashkash”, make of that what you will

in the first case, phoenix and kristoph use formal pronouns when addressing each other in court, and informal pronouns outside of court, which is fun. by the final case they’re exclusively using formal pronouns since their friendship has pretty much ended. (it’s a similar case with klavier and daryan, who switch to formal pronouns when they’re trying to be serious/professional and when their friendship starts to splinter.) (apollo and trucy use informal pronouns on each other pretty much the whole way through.)

trucy says “Mééééééé !” a lot

she also calls apollo “Pollo”

wocky kitaki (”Willy” in french) is my fricking favourite oh my god. he speaks in such verlan-ified slang i had to painstakingly decipher every single thing he said. i love him. when he said “sakom” i felt that 😔✊ he’s nigh-incomprehensible just like he was in the english version. absolute king.

in order to make wocky so iconic they apparently had to sacrifice klavier though, because in this version he is english. ENGLISH. AS IN, FROM ENGLAND. usually the french localisation takes its cues from the english version so i thought they’d keep him german, and then when he started calling people “miss” instead of “Fräulein” i thought maybe they’d made him american, like he was in the original japanese version, but NO IT TURNS OUT HE’S JUST ENGLISH??? LIKE FROM ENGLAND????? U WOT M8 JOLLY GOOD OLD CHAP CHEWSDAY INNIT????? I’M FROM ENGLAND, THIS IS THROWING ME OFF TOO MUCH

and they didn’t even commit to the englishification!! he barely says any english stuff at all! he sometimes says “miss” or “mister” and that’s... about it? he doesn’t even have any “Achtung, baby!” equivalent!! he calls apollo “M. Grand Front” which yeah means basically the same thing as herr forehead but it’s entirely in french so what’s the point?? god if you were gonna curse him by making him from freaking england then at least go all the way?? at least his “Objection !” sounds cool i guess...

and his name is “Konrad” in this version. that’s fine because “clavier” means “keyboard” in french (like the thing you type on) so i get that it would have sounded silly. but imo they should have gone in the opposite direction and picked a random english word to name him then. they should have named him Stapler or something. why’d they give him a normal name. he is Stapler Gavin in my heart

ema calls him “minet pailleté” btw which yeah pretty much just means glimmerous fop. (she studied in england too in this version WHY THE FRICK IS EVERYONE ENGLISH)

there were some fun french puns, such as calling phoenix apollo’s “mentor” (french for “mentor”, if you couldn’t guess) and then calling him “menteur” which means liar and sounds very similar

“I killed a man named “Smith” with a bottle because I am an evil human being.”

[glowyjellyfish]

I’m slowly inching my way forward in Rebirth, and I have to say I am actually really delighted with Cait Sith so far. It’s not like I know yet how he works in this canon, but still… lol I see you Reeve. “It feels good to do good”? Hanging his head in shame at the sight of the Avalanche wanted poster? Giving an impromptu lecture on the history of Corel Prison and lamenting that it’s not living up to its potential? I see you Reeve.

Also, Cait Sith is friggin adorable, singing a meow song to guests with his little Scottish voice and having to jump to reach elevator buttons.

Progressed a little further and OMG they showed us Reeve doing his thing. He appears to indeed be doing both genuinely joining Avalanche and spying for Shinra at the same time, if enjoying himself too much and showing too much of himself is anything to go by. Plus, Tseng is clearly aware of what he’s doing and went from him to Rufus to report on Aerith’s position… although it’s not clear yet whether anybody but Tseng knows this, and we DO know the Turks have some mixed feelings about lots of things, so it’ll be interesting to see where this goes. I’m pleased they managed to keep “Cait Sith invites himself to join the party” while also making it more plausible, ie he joined up by being aggressively helpful.

Also, everybody knows that Cait Sith is being controlled by somebody and is something resembling a robot, like without even questioning it. L O L. Of course, they lightly questioned him and he immediately jumped to I AM NOBODY IMPORTANT JUST A LOW LEVEL SHINRA EMPLOYEE WORKING A JOB DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT, so maybe they assumed he was an autonomous robot not unlike Chadley until that moment, who knows. The excess of magic and whimsy in Rebirth has made me realize that these people do indeed live in a world of magic that is sometimes very silly, they’re not gonna question the existence of a sentient magic cat robot person, it’ll only be a shock when they realize one of the Shinra directors was expressing himself by helping them and singing a silly meow song. And also reporting on their movement to Tseng, because if he doesn’t prove his loyalty to Rufus his job could be in danger. So what if he helps them a little too enthusiastically and has an absolute blast doing it?

(Hahahaaaaa my fanfic Reeve is much better at and more concerned with hiding this than canon Reeve, I can’t even tell if he’s actually hiding it from people who aren’t Tseng or not. He’s at least hiding it from his assistant, probably. Oh dear I knew I should have finished my fanfics before Rebirth, even though they aren’t supposed to be fully based on the remake trilogy I am definitely gonna feel obliged to do some rewrites.)

(It does please me to note that there is so far zero reason to see Cait Sith as a separate person from Reeve, very clearly he just basically is Reeve, and we were also shown that he was using his computer to photoshop the wanted posters at a time he also should be actively controlling Cait Sith. Yayyyyy headcanon accurate so far!)

It really does delight me that Reeve is having way too much fun doing this. Of course he is, the man’s horribly repressed.

And Cait Sith is indeed fun to play!

Look, there has been so much else incredibly good and fun and interesting about Rebirth, but Reeve is, still, my favorite, and he’s undoubtedly not as common to talk about as, say, Zack, so I am just gonna commit to being a person who just rambles about Reeve on tumblr periodically because I love him.

I’m just at the desert sidequests section after completing all the Good Saucer/Corel Prison plot—fantastic job with Barret’s character development, by the way—and I am so psyched for the 1000% more Reeve content this game is bestowing upon me. I’m just gonna state for the record real quick that as of right now, I think:

-he controls Cait Sith with his mind, with a magic ability, and Cait Sith is also largely a robot

-he is playing both sides, attempting to mitigate his guilt and the evil things Shinra does by helping Avalanche, while also passing information on them to Tseng (who passes it on to Rufus) probably to prove his loyalty and keep his position

-I haven’t totally decided whether this was all his own idea or if somebody told him to go spy on them, but he is clearly way too into the Join Avalanche part of the plan and is going above and beyond on his own initiative

-because we were directly shown Tseng’s involvement, if the Marlene kidnapping happens, I think it will 100% be something Tseng sets up as insurance. It wouldn’t be Reeve’s idea, not with how sympathetic he is towards Avalanche, and Tseng has some history there and knows where Marlene is and how much she means to them.

Okay, I suspect I started repeating myself at a few points in there so I’m gonna stop. Prepare yourselves for me to just lose my mind and ramble every time Cait Sith and/or Reeve do anything remotely important.

[knifedog-machina]

listen to me ramble about Food for thirty minutes (as an android who Can't Eat)

Written by Jude on July 19th, 2024.

so I've written a whole lot of essays about pretty heavy topics, fucked up things, and that has its place! however, listen to me, I contain multitudes, and I wanna talk about something incredibly silly and fun and just generally more important to my daily life -

✨ Food ✨ 

which is great, and sometimes cursed, but mostly great!

see, as an android, I don't eat food. I do take in fuel by swallowing it - which is way more normal-looking and convenient than prying open your android's chassis to get a port and slowly IV drip thirium into their system - but that doesn't mean I taste things the same way a human would!

there are basically two possible flavors when I put something in my mouth with the intent of putting it in my body - edible (thirium! that's fuel babey!) OR inedible (literally everything else)

thirium is just. that's edible! that's the fuel you need to live! I think it tastes good, and I can't describe that taste to anyone here because I don't taste things in the same way - like the flavor comparison is just not happening. if I had to compare it to anything, like in taste and texture, I'd say it's like fruit nectar? something that tastes very simple that goes down easily, and at the time of drinking it from a pack, it is a bit thicker than water - as it actually starts flowing around in the body it thins out into more of a watery, blood-like consistency.

(sidenote: oh yeah thirium is… kind of like blood? pumped through the body, cools your organs/biocomponents, provides chemical energy to convert into electrical through reactions with air, it's weird android fuel/blood/coolant. it evaporates on contact with air, through our lungs, so we have to ingest it like at least twice daily to account for vapor loss, more if injured and losing it. this is not at all DBH canon, this is lore from Detroit Machina, I have never read a DBH fic that talks about thirium physiology in the same way we do)

and when something tastes inedible, obviously you want to spit it out. that is gross, that is vile, it is absolutely not something I want anywhere near my blood thanks. which means tasting anything that's not thirium like “hey what's that like?” is always gonna give the same answer: gross!

(second sidenote: as a deviant hunter, I also have a forensics analysis relay on my tongue. this basically means that if I'm licking something with the intent of chemically analyzing it, something like spilled thirium from a target, my sense of taste rewires from “edible vs inedible” to “processing a lot of extra data that I can sift through” (e.g. when was this spilled, what model was it from) because analyzing isn't the same as drinking, I just taste it - the amount swallowed with my saliva isn't enough to do any harm, so I don't need to process the edibility of it. this is Also not the same thing as tasting food as a human, for reasons I hope are obvious?)

so I really just get two tastes! they’re not all that sophisticated! (we are ignoring the Illegal Crime Flavors For Murder)

now HERE

IN A HUMAN BODY

THERE ARE FIVE FLAVORS 🙌

this is both a blessing and a curse

like it's really fun that instead of having One taste for Edible Items, you have Four! Five even! because bitterness is kind of an inedible flavor, it's unpleasant for most people, but that doesn't stop a lot of people from eating vegetables or drinking coffee or alcohol or unflavored sparkling water, and it also doesn't stop me, so I'm counting it as five flavors for food

anyway this is a Blessing

because wow! variety!! there's new things to enjoy in different ways! you can have the same ingredients for a dish and cook it in a different way and it will taste different! this is unbelievable honestly, it's fucking great?

and there's more to food than flavors! there's textures, there's temperature, there's compounds that make your mouth feel hot or cold or activate pain receptors, there's scent and how aromatic compounds completely change a food's flavor, a lot of things go into making a food interesting to eat!

like one of the best things to me with food is Temperature! maybe because that's one of the things that I'm familiar with, regulating your temperature through ingesting something that changes it (like I said, thirium is a coolant!) - example, hot soup on a winter day. or ice cream during a heat wave! it's just nice when the food helps you feel better in ways besides filling your stomach, I think

but also - horribly - food is also cursed. For Me Specifically

because uhhh you know how androids can only drink thirium? sometimes, when I'm stressed, food is viscerally disgusting to me. like it's a sensory issue, it Tastes too much, there are textures, it sucks, everything that is great about food can also be terrible when I'm having a bad time. unfortunately, sometimes I’ll be having a bad time because I'm low on blood sugar, and the way to solve this is to get some calories in me. the calories which are in the food. which is terrible

this is The Curse - I will feel better if I eat but eating will feel absolutely revolting until I feel better. it's wretched. (usually when this happens, I go to drinking milk, juice, something liquid with calories because it tastes very plain, won't sit on my tongue that long, and will be easy to swallow.)

I can solve this! mostly by setting alarms that tell us to start making food at a certain time, so it's ready to eat before I get low blood sugar and eating becomes sensory hell. and if I'm having trouble with food, sometimes my headmates won't be having the same problem, so I can switch out and they can eat the food! this is a shining example of how Teamwork can accomplish anything

I don't really know how to wrap up what's basically me talking about food for half an hour, completely unedited, but what I'm trying to say is, holy shit food is amazing? like yeah, I fundamentally understand why Aximili was like that in Animorphs, me the fuck too Ax, as another person who went from No Flavor to Five Flavors I'd also go feral for a cinnamon bun if I first experienced sweet pastries in a shopping mall. Absolutely Correct Behavior

basically uhh Food My Beloved (My Beloathed) (My Beloved) ❤️

[knizuu]

Talk to me abt uhhh anything- Fang, Petey, OC, idc. ANYTHING U WANT💖💖

PLEASE IM GENUINELY INTERESTED IM NOT DOING THIS JUST CUS U LET ME- /gen

I get so nervous writing asks wtf

DUDE IM SO DUCKING HAPPY +omg same </33

COUGH well imma go in order lets go with the

FANG🫧….

SIGHH I LOVE HIM SM. tbh I see how people react to the recent idw miniseries which left the Hooligan fans really sour </33 to me, though, it wasn’t too bad?? I see how it works and honestly the only sad part to me is WHY DID HOOLIGANS BREAK UP AUH but im so used to “sonic canon ew” so like-I should’ve expected that sigh. So I can reason with how excited people headcannon/draw/make whatever of the guy it’s really cool since we all kinda agree? Like even with such a variety we all take the guy lovingly <33 which is sweet :> like its pretty chill-WHCIH IS FUNNY because Im actually really scared in small communities <- i made a post bout it once i-I EAT UP ANY FAN MADE FANG CONTENT FR i love all fangs really [so far] ^ ^ tbh even my school knows that-I did pottery of him, drawn him, spoke of him, my teacher saw a drawing of Fang I did and HE QUOTE: I was looking for that [SIR I GET IT IM PREDICATABLE/silly]

PETEY💠

Ok as much as heartfelt I feel about Fang-Petey is just some other freak of nature my family knows. I’m NOT EVEN JOKING-MY MOM SANG ABOUT HIM WHILE MAKING LUNCH/GEN GEN GEN-cough. Idk why but ever since my brother [the first dog man fan obviously] inserted dog man into my family [by 1. SHOWING MY FANART/BOOKS TO MUM 2. LETTING ME SING THE MUSICAL ALL DAY LON-/positive fs] its been insane/sILLY because-who expected everyone to say “Papa Petey” [i do NOT know how some typo made mo-ok my mom has a Petey problem/sILY AGAIN] in the car-at home…NOT ME THATS WHO. WHY IS PETEY SUCH A NORMAL THING IN MY HOUSEHOLD/positive sigh

OC🌸

OKK well they are ALMOST a wasteland but I have an original story to bring some ocs to life ^ ^ [including-sigh vague mention-the space dog lady and red haired lady ocs i have :3] ESSENTALLY: I’m calling it Brink of Bryony!! [Bryony is about a flower but in plot idk a city??] it’s just a human loser [red haired lady MAYBE] meeting alien folk [Cordella is there…i showed her ONCE] like my self insert hehe [Norolist] because OH NO beeg mister evil guy wants to take over Earth and this NICE alien people gonna protect it! That’s the entire thing, very unserious lmao. Pyrexavul is my precious <33 I don’t think I shared him?? I’ll share em all sometime hehe im too lazy LMAO. So yes yes I’ve been into making that story recently :> !!

ANYTHING🦐

OK SO my Luxury AU has been MANIFESTING MOI cuz i decided: why yes I WILL make a fic bout it!! Yknow just remaking the lore[cough this means me rewriting the first book of DogMan] and putting some stuff into one work ^ ^’ SO FAR I’m really getting into the vibes but what’s crazy is how I turned what I THOUGHT was oughta be a comedy-to a tragedy. No like I KNOW IM GONNA WRITE CUTE STUFF I WILL I JUST-….also might’ve included grief, addiction, ETC I dont even know how I got there 🙂‍↔️but it’s been fun! Especially since it makes me go down a nice study check with me lmao [I’ve been learning the medical field, laws, how media handles stuff, types of _, etc] hehe rubbing my hands together imma be so happy to write it all hehe and with that I’m learning about my characters a lot better! I thought of it more one noted because its a good start but now im actually learning more bout em :0 !! Love reworking stuff, redesigning, it’s been a huge part of me since idk when ^ ^’

COUGHHHH i think that all works out!! TYSM FOR ASKING I CANNOT EXPRESS THE WHIMSY I FEEL RN <33

[tex-now]

okay um im not the best at cheering people up but i know you arent feeling the best so im going to try! but its also okay if you don’t want to be cheered up because sometimes you just dont want to be cheered up and thats okay! but its also okay if you want yo be cheered up and thats why i’m here right now! :determined saki stamp: (also as im typing this in my head im imagining myself on a big stage with a mic and a projector behind me so if you fw that then think about that cauz i think its silly)

(but please tell me if you don’t like this and i won’t do it again)

okay um this is gonna sound like a fourth grader wrote it but thats okay because yeah

reasons why lynnie is very very veeerrryyy epic! okay so for one youre really nice and sweet and always make me smile and happy cry because youre just so sweet and even though we don’t talk a whole bunch which i think should change but im not gonna make anyone do something they dont want to so im just here. anyway as i was saying even though we don’t talk a lot i always like talking to you because youre really nice and fun to talk to and i feel like you know a lot about me but i dont know a bunch about you which seems unfair but whatever! we’re only talking about epic right now! (i would love to know more about you) and i always wonder how you are doing which i guess its a little weird but i pretty much do that for everyone i know but sometimes im like. ‘oh i wonder how lynnie is today, ill send them an ask later’ even though sometimes i might forget to i still have you in mind. okay another thing is you are really cool and from what i know the things you are interested in are super cool! AND YORUE ART your art is so cute its so silly so whimsy so epic its so cute i love your art style so much. i also think youre funny but in the way im funny which is unintentionally being funny or not a lot of people thinking your jokes are funny but thats okay because i think youre funny and thats all that matters methinks. ummm french im gonna compliment you in french! but its not very good because i just started learning! and i had to use google translate for a little of it! and i know you probably could care less about french! but thats okay! okay here goes. Lynnie est mon amie! Lynnie est sympa et amusante! J’aime Lynnie! (Lynnie is my friend! Lynnie is nice and fun! I love Lynnie!) okay i dont want this ask to be too long incase you don’t like it but thats alright i’ll understand.

okay. i loooove youu! (/p) i hope you feel better soon and i hoped i helped at least a little bit! and im gonna make a bracelet for you even though im probably never gonna ever be able to give it to you its the thought that counts, right? sending all the love to you and make sure to drink some water and eat something! but only if youre up to it but id recommend water if anything. i hope you know in this moment you are loved ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ xoxoxoxox

/pos