#i feel like maybe i just don't exist and maybe that's why no one seems to care about the things try to share
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hi so ive been binging ur works lol I love that u write for blue lock and specifically the male reader !!! Sosoo I'd love to request a shidou x mean top male reader ? Like shidou keeps acting out so reader puts him in his place?
I do three things on purpose. I make you cut onions so I don't cry, I cling to you during horror movies because you get too focused, and I bend over in front of you during training because you're a dirty dog (real quotes from my husband as titles day one).
MASTERLIST is here.
#a.n. : You two humiliating a non-existent guy for the size of his dick........ Basic Tuesday for any gays, I guess.
!!Warnings: tom!dom!male!reader, sub!bottom! Shidou, overstimulation, time before the first selection, so you fuck in a room full of other people at night..... So, humiliation of a guy for a dick actually (not in his face tho), sex on a futon, Shidou without hair gel (I heard that someone didn't like Shidou without gel and cried hyperbolically), he calls you 'cupcake' one time.
One hundred and seven times.
You've thought about killing him so many times. Strangle him. Take his head off. Castrate him. Burn him. Drown him... Anything, really. Why is this idiot even more annoying than usual? Who knows. Well, obviously not you.
Your eyes watched him praise a player again. Of course, this is not surprising for him, he is very respectful to good players, but now? Fuck, this is out of bounds.
You can see perfectly well how his hands stay on this guy for too long. And the way his eyes look at you from time to time. It's been repeated too many times today.
Does he want you to crack? But no. He's going to do it today. And it won't just crack, it will come apart at the seams.
The sound of the futon moving can be heard in an almost empty room as your body bends over his, while his face is buried in the pillow, trying not to moan too loudly. Not that he cares about it, but you do very much.
"I'm s-sorry, cu-cupcake, please—!" he exhales raggedly, clutching at the thin fabric, trying with all his might to stabilize himself and his body from your obviously not gentle thrusts, which seemed to knock his soul out of him piece by piece.
A rhetorical question escapes your lips, and an almost animal grin appears on your lips, seeing his condition. "Now we're just barking, right? You forgot how to bite pretty quickly."
Shidou just whimpers, feeling his body twitching from your thrusts inside his sloppy hole. His curls are disheveled on the bed, and some are stuck to his cheeks or neck from sweat. He just couldn't look into your eyes as usual, knowing full well that he would break even more... He dug his own grave after all.
"That guy couldn't have brought you to this state, you know? He definitely has a dick smaller than my little finger," you reason, lowering one of your hands from his waist lower, feeling the muscles of his stomach tighten as you slide over them, reaching his v-shaped line, and then his crotch. "Don't you agree?"
"Fuck, yes! Def-definitely, yes... Probably th-the same size as an a-ant," Ryusei giggles, swallowing his saliva, arching his back harder, which makes you hiss, feeling like he's become a little tighter.
Although his giggles immediately fade away when you grab his overexcited, spent cock. You immediately slap the hand that's trying to stop you, grabbing his length, making him choke on his own sob.
Tears began to form in his eyes, lingering on his blond eyelashes, and then trickling down his cheeks. He couldn't take another round! He wanted to, but probably couldn't. You're huge, you tease him, you fuck him, you humiliate someone for the size of his dick... Did I mention that you're huge? Anyway, it's fucking Hell! He's a fucking puddle under you, even though he wanted to stay under you like that, because that's actually what he wanted.
Maybe you'd be more gentle if your count of murder methods stopped at about sixty.
"Still fucking want me like this, huh? How many times did you cum?" you ask rhetorically, realizing that he won't answer, just smiling, and then slapping his ass, which makes him squeak, and you enjoy his sounds, because you can't see almost anything.
"Don't worry, I'll do it over and over again until you don't even have the thought of leaving me anymore, do you understand?" Ryusei nodded, and his cock jerked in your grip, forcing you to enter him up to the hilt, and then pull your dick out of him, which immediately turns around to look at you. "Or maybe I need to make it so that you can't stand at all without help..."
Shido pales almost immediately, sensing the sincerity in your voice, and then moans too loudly when you thrust into him again. Your hand tangles in his hair, pressing his face back into the pillows so that he doesn't wake anyone up and so that he stops making silly excuses about how he wants you to pull out your dick.
He looked like a black hole right now, honestly. So he'd better not pretend to be a clogged pipe right now.
#top male reader#seme male reader#dom male reader#a!writes.#sub character#blue lock x male reader#blue lock smut#bllk smut#bllk x male reader#sub blue lock#sub bllk#blue lock x reader#bllk x reader#shidou x reader#shidou x male reader#shidou ryusei x reader#Shidou ryusei x male reader#sub shidou#sub shidou ryusei#shidou smut#shidou ryusei smut#blue lock headcanons
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☁︎꙳ FALLING FOR YOU┆N.RIKI
『•˙synopsis: Ni-ki, the popular boy, forms an unexpected bond with you, the quiet girl. As they grow closer, they face the challenges of high school and their different worlds.
『•˙pairing: Nishimura Riki x female reader
『•˙genre: Romance, High School Drama, Fluff, Slow Burn
『•˙warnings: Mild language, bullying, high school drama
『•˙word count: 1.3k
『•˙note: Ni-ki would def be one of those popular kids
Ni-ki had always been the one everyone noticed. The boy who seemed to glide through school without a care in the world. His effortless charm and the way people gravitated toward him made him a fixture in the school’s social scene. He was always surrounded by friends, admired by peers, and never alone. But for all the attention he received, Ni-ki still felt like something was missing—something that couldn’t be found in the glitz and glam of popularity.
And then there was you.
You weren’t the type to stand out. Quiet, reserved, and incredibly focused on your studies, you were the girl who lived in the background, surrounded by books rather than friends. You were comfortable in your little corner of the school, hidden away from the chaos of cliques and high school drama. It was safer that way.
At first, you never gave Ni-ki much thought. He was just another popular boy, someone who seemed so out of reach from your world. You didn’t even think he knew you existed. That was until one day, during lunch in the school library.
You were sitting at your usual table, flipping through a book that had long since become your escape. Your lunch remained untouched beside you as you became engrossed in the story. It was peaceful, calm—just the way you liked it. That is, until the sound of footsteps interrupted your reading.
"Hey," a voice called out, breaking your focus. "Is this seat taken?"
You looked up, blinking in surprise. Standing in front of you was none other than Ni-ki. His familiar, confident smile made your heart skip a beat. You quickly glanced around, but the library was unusually empty, and no one seemed to be watching.
"No, I don't mind," you stammered, unsure of why he was speaking to you.
He pulled out the chair across from you and sat down, his eyes casually glancing over the book in your hands. "What are you reading?" he asked, a slight tilt to his head.
You hesitated, not sure what to say. "Just... a fantasy novel," you replied, feeling awkward.
He nodded, seemingly intrigued. "Sounds interesting."
For a moment, there was an awkward silence between you two. You were waiting for him to leave—he probably just needed somewhere to sit—but then, to your surprise, he spoke again.
“I always see you here during lunch. Do you ever go to the cafeteria?”
You chuckled lightly, feeling the heat rise to your face. "Not really. I like the quiet."
“That’s cool. I’ve never really been into the cafeteria crowd either. Too loud,” Ni-ki said, his voice more relaxed now, like he had let his guard down just a little. "So, what’s the book about?"
This time, the conversation flowed more naturally. You began talking about your favorite books, and to your astonishment, Ni-ki seemed genuinely interested in what you were saying. You weren’t sure if he was just being polite, but there was something in the way he listened, the way his eyes never strayed from your face, that made you feel like he actually cared.
Over the next few days, Ni-ki started to sit with you in the library more often. At first, you thought it was just a fluke, that maybe he was bored and needed a quiet place to get away from the crowds. But soon enough, it became a regular routine. Every lunch, Ni-ki would show up, sit across from you, and ask about your books, your day, and even your thoughts on different topics. It was strange to have someone like him—someone so out of your league—care about your opinions.
One afternoon, he surprised you when he asked if you’d like to study together for the upcoming math test. “I’ve heard you’re good at this stuff,” he said with a playful smirk, “and I could use some help.”
You blinked at him in disbelief. “Wait, you want me to tutor you?”
“Yeah, well, I’m not exactly a math genius,” he admitted. “But I’ll buy you coffee afterward, so it’s a win-win.” He raised an eyebrow, as if daring you to turn him down.
With a soft laugh, you agreed. "Fine, I’ll help you."
That study session became the first of many. Ni-ki showed up to your table in the library day after day, determined to improve his grades. But as the sessions progressed, you both started to realize that it wasn’t just about studying anymore.
There were moments when he’d glance over at you, his eyes soft and focused, as you explained a tricky concept. Or when he’d look at you with that mischievous smile, teasing you about your ability to solve problems faster than he could. You found yourself looking forward to those moments, to the way he would make you laugh or the way his presence seemed to bring warmth to your otherwise quiet world.
One day, Ni-ki showed up late to their usual study session, looking a little out of breath. "Sorry I’m late," he said with a sheepish grin. “Had some… stuff to do.”
You smiled but noticed the slight tension in his shoulders. “Is everything okay?”
He hesitated for a moment before nodding, though there was something in his eyes that hinted at something more. "Yeah, everything’s fine. Just a lot of drama with the guys. You know how it is."
You didn’t fully understand, but you didn’t press him. Instead, you let the conversation shift back to math. As the session continued, however, you couldn’t help but wonder what had been on his mind.
Weeks passed, and the connection between you and Ni-ki only deepened. It wasn’t just about schoolwork anymore. You started to talk about everything—family, hopes for the future, fears, and dreams. There was an ease to being around him, a comfort you hadn’t expected.
One afternoon, as you were walking out of the library together, Ni-ki suddenly stopped. You turned, puzzled, only to see him staring at the ground for a moment before he looked up at you, his expression softer than usual.
“Hey,” he began, his voice quieter than usual. “I just wanted to say… thanks. For all the study sessions, the talks, and for just being... well, you.”
You blinked, unsure of how to respond, but the sincerity in his eyes made your heart flutter. “Of course. I’m happy to help.”
Ni-ki’s gaze held yours for a few moments, and for the first time, you saw a glimpse of something more than the confident, charming guy everyone else saw. There was vulnerability there, something you hadn’t expected.
“You know,” he said, breaking the silence with a smirk, “I think I might actually be starting to look forward to these study sessions. Not just for the math, but because… well, I like spending time with you.”
You felt your cheeks warm at his words, and for a moment, the world seemed to pause. Ni-ki—of all people—was saying this. He was looking at you like you meant something to him.
“You do?” you asked, your voice barely a whisper.
He nodded, his playful grin returning. “Yeah, I do.”
From that moment, things between you and Ni-ki started to change. It wasn’t just about studying anymore. The more time you spent together, the more obvious it became that there was something deeper between you two. But even as you grew closer, there were still challenges. Ni-ki’s popularity came with its own set of pressures, and you couldn’t ignore the whispers in the halls whenever people saw you together.
But no matter what anyone said, Ni-ki made it clear: he wanted to be with you. And for the first time, you felt like you didn’t have to hide who you were.
It wasn’t going to be easy, but it was worth it. Together, you and Ni-ki would face whatever high school threw your way, learning that sometimes, the most unexpected connections were the ones that changed you forever.
©️ WONBONI
#wonboni#enhypen#k-pop#k-pop idol#enhypen fic#enhypen x reader#enhypen ff#enhypen niki#ni ki enhypen#ni ki#ni ki x reader#ni ki scenarios#ni ki fluff#ni ki x you#k-pop smau#enhypen nishimura riki#nishimura riki#niki nishimura#riki nishimura x reader
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A Day in the Life of a Loser: Loser Ford AU
Chapter 6: Maps
6th September 1971
Great, just great. Fantastic, even! That was an attempt at sarcasm.
Apparently our map had flown out the car window 4 miles ago and Stanley didn't bother to get it back! Now we're stuck in the middle of Indiana!
We're meant to move into our dormitories at Backupsmore University today, but from the looks of our situation, that's going to be delayed.
∆∆∆
"Quit sulkin', Sixer. It's not like we're in a different country."
"We might as well be! We are two states away from home and we have no map!"
"Don't you have photographic memory?"
"Well—"
"What're we arguin' about, fellas?"
A foreign voice startled the two and made them turn around.
Who they saw was a tall, lanky man, vaguely around their age. His long hair and horseshoe mustache was unlike what they've seen in New Jersey.
Stan liked it.
Realizing neither of them had answered the question, Stan spoke up.
"Oh, it's nothing, just my brother whining about our lack of map."
"What happens if we get lost, Stanley?"
"We ask for directions like normal people!"
"So you expect us to blindly trust strangers?"
They glared at each other, both having valid points but neither wanting to admit it.
"Where are you lot headin' to, anyway?"
"Backupsmore University. You know, the shitty one?"
"Stanley, don't just give that type information away..."
"Ah, BMU? I'm headin' there as well!"
The cute southern guy was going to the exact same place at the exact same time as he was? This was a once in a lifetime opportunity and he was not about to fumble it!
"Why don't you come with us?"
Before the concepts of a response could even pop into existence, Ford pulled Stan aside.
"Stanley, really? We don't even know his name..."
"Hey! What's your name?"
"Fiddleford McGucket?"
"See? Now we know his name."
"Well—We don't know where he's from!"
"Where are you from?"
"Tennessee."
"Again, now we know."
"Stanley..."
"C'mon, Pointdexter, please?"
Flashing the most convincing puppy eyes he could muster, Stan managed to win Ford over.
"Fine, but if we get kidnapped—or worse—I'm blaming you."
"Yes, yes!"
Stan proceeded to talk to Fiddleford while Ford watched from the sidelines.
Was he jealous? Psh, of course not!
Fiddleford pulled out a folded piece of paper from his back pocket. Could it be?
"A map!"
Lunging himself towards the map Fiddleford, he braced himself on the other's shoulders and read the map from there.
Turns out, he did have the whole route memorized. He wouldn't let Stan have an "I told you so" moment, though.
"Hello...You."
Oh, yeah, Fiddleford didn't know Ford's name yet. He quickly put himself at a more socially acceptable distance and cleared his throat.
"My name is Stanford."
"Well, hello, Stanford."
Ford always dealt with introductions curtly.
He watched as Stan and Fiddleford continued their conversation. Just as they did, Fiddleford went to sit in the passenger seat.
What the hell? That was Ford's seat!
"Stanley, why is he sitting in my seat?"
"Ah... It'll be easier for him to tell me which way to go!"
"I could do that easily."
"Maybe he'll feel safer in the front seat?"
"I thought we were worried about him kidnapping us."
"Listen, Sixer, I just..."
Looking at Fiddleford, who was waiting in the car, Stan blushed.
"Oh. I see."
Ford reluctantly sat in the backseat and pouted. He didn't want to hold back his brother, but he wasn't going to be happy about it.
∆∆∆
We appear to have found the solution to our problem. Just like inventive problem solving, it comes with it's drawbacks.
This "Fiddleford McGucket" seems to be awfully fond of Stanley. Perhaps he's a siren, attracting Stanley to his (and subsequently my own) doom.
I'm currently stuck sitting in the backseat of Stanley's car, forced to watch Fiddleford flirt with him under the guise of giving him directions.
It's obscene.
We're approximately 7 miles away from BMU. This is going to be a long car ride.
#loser ford au#a day in the life of a loser#stanford pines#ford pines#stanley pines#stan pines#fiddleford mcgucket#YAY MYSTERY TRIO#mystery trio#gravity falls#gravity falls au#fanfiction#ok guys i promise ford isn't homophobic in this#he's just fiddlephobic
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wiggles my fingers at you ouuuu… you want to tell me about solace so bad…
HKJGG wiggles my fingers back lovingly!!! i really do, i fuckin LOVE solace :3 hey did you know i really like making fake skill descriptions?
SOLACE
Follow the north star. Find light in even the darkest places. Cool for: Optimists, Recovering lost souls, Sweet summer children
Solace is the skill you tucked away long ago, at the bottom of Pandora's box. The little one that tells you: despite it all, there is still hope. It needs a lot of nurturing -- and it's far from being the most helpful for police work -- but taking care of it is basically self-care. It enables you to find the glow in yourself that you often ascribe to gold lungs or brilliant halos in others. It encourages you to wake up and watch the sunrise, to play board games with someone you love, to forgive yourself and let yourself be a gentler kind of animal. Constantly looking forward to a brighter future, it also helps shield your morale from damage.
At high levels, Solace gives you a heightened sense of childlike optimism - which isn't always the sense to lead with in this precariously harsh world. Always looking for the bright side will blindside you with naivety. At low levels, however, you may just extinguish whatever keeps your soul alight. You've already lost her once. You may not survive the desolation if you let her disappear again.
#i wanted to draw a skill portrait for her for this but [gestures vaguely at life] i hope this is cool enough hkjgkj <33#solace is truly voli's ''keep going. there's still hope for us'' and echem's ''we can be happy again! let's go find joy wherever we can''#this is why i keep saying she's their kid hkjgh she covers the happy medium of both of their ideologies. hope for a happier future.#harry goes to the store and finds a pair of pink heart shades that gives her ''+1 Rose Colored Glasses'' :3#i feel like theres some mechanic that keeps her from gaining too many points. a locked skill cap or maybe she can lose skill points??#hm. considers this.#echem voice ''i can't believe i'm saying this but we really can't drink alcohol anymore. it's bad for the baby :(''#ALSO. THIS IS ONE OF MY MORE SELF INDULGENT WORKS SO IF IT SEEMS OOC IN ANY WAY THAT'S BC THIS IS MY COMFORT FIC HGKJKJ#i know sometimes i write skill relationships too sweet and the world too kind and the game too unrealistically...#i know shivers said the end of the world is in 22 years. i know being a revachol cop would kill solace. i know alcoholism is hard to kick#and dora still haunts us. i know life is so hard and there is so much that kills hope and that the pale is going to swallow elysium. i know#but isn't disco elysium about how the world is awful and corrupt and futile but there is still beauty and worth to living in it?#the sky. the world. you're still alive. after death; life again. one day i will return to your side. sunrise parabellum.#the phasmid exists. the pale can be fought back with art. the city's alive and she told us she loves us. and solace believes there is hope.#augh idk man hjlkjg just don't want to lean into the ''young witch trying to find a cat in the alps'' bullshit lmao FUCK that </3#i just think harry deserves a hope skill.#volta transmissions#inland drabbles#task: when two skills love each other very much
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Me normally: Let people love what they love
Me, after a Test Match Special commentator expresses their belief that the new All Creatures Great and Small is somehow "better" than the 1978 version: This is pure insanity and TMS can no longer be trusted on anything, how can they even be trusted to know about cricket, do they have no TASTE
#Look it's fine that this show exists and people will watch it and like it and that's ok maybe it's just not for me#But that was like a statement purely designed to piss me off#There were lots of issues with the 1978 adaptation! I still vastly preferred the books any day!#And I actually initially had high hopes for the new one because they at least cast a Scot (albeit a Highlander not a Clydesider) as James#And the actors at least looked a little bit younger than Christopher Timothy and Robert Hardy#And thank god Helen actually sounds like she's a farmer's daughter and doesn't speak RP!#But from the half hour I've seen of it I've had to write off this new adaptation#For two major reasons#First of all there's Siegfried#Siegfried is one of the key central aspects of the vibe of the books and therefore key to any adaptation#Robert Hardy was too short and too old for the part but he lived and breathed the character#The twinkle in the eye bouncing off the walls and in and out of rooms followed by half a dozen dogs utterly full of life even when angry#But this new Siegfried is just sort of... Eeyore-esque; he comes into a room and you can see the flowers droop and the set turn grey#Siegfried was angry Siegfried was happy and the historical character he was based on was no stranger to melancholy#Since Donald Sinclair did commit suicide or rather self-euthanasia after Alf Wight and his own wife Audrey died#But this slow grumbly figure in the new adaptation is not Siegfried Farnon- the book character didn't grumble more often he exploded#And why did the adaptation give him a dead wife that's so weird? What could that possibly add to the source material?#And this brings me onto my second problem which is to do with women and age#Firstly I have no idea why they aged down Mrs Hall or at least made her look younger than a woman her age would have back then#But what really drove me mad was when Heriot goes out to see some old woman hill farmer in the episode I saw#And this woman is far too clean and young-looking and you can see that she's wearing 'natural' look make-up#And a perfect set of clothes that looked like they were straight out of the House of Bruar autumn collection catalogue#Say what you like about the 1978 adaptation but old women looked like old women regardless of whether or not they wore make-up#It may be that the better quality of television screens means that the 'natural look' shows up on screen more clearly than it would have#But natural look make-up was not really a thing in the 1930s and for old women Yorkshire hill farmers I doubt they'd have much on at all#They just don't seem to be capable of allowing people to look old and wrinkled and real or have bad teeth or unattractive clothes#And everything is far too tidy- everybody looks far too perfectly country and quaint#Anyway the moral of this story is of course that I always recommend reading the books because they're much better#than any tv adaptation; but if forced to choose at least the 1970s one felt real and yet didn't have to be grim either#Ok that's my rant over please do feel free to enjoy the show I just got annoyed because the opinion was expressed on TMS
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I find it kind of silly that so many of those "time based life rule" sayings are like ~deep serious guidelines~ of some sort, but then there's that one other Well Known Rule that's just like "hrmm can I eat something off of the ground or not"
#the duality of human condition.. two biggest concerns in the modern era are attempts at self fulfilling productivity#and also 'if i drop my sandwich can i still eat it :('#Also while capitalism is often linked with/the source of hyper productivity culture - note that I do not mean the images in that context#'meaningful to you' does not have to mean 'productive within a capitalist system'. The point is not 'every waking hour of every day#must be spent in the most societally productive grinding mindset hyper efficency mode possible' but more like#if you've always wanted to learn french ever since you were a kid and you think it would be fulfilling to you (just because you like it#absent of any larger purpose like using it for a job/monetizing it somehow/etc.). and you've just spent like 5 hours straight on tiktok#or something mindlessly scrolling the internet. maybe someimtes it'd help for your own personal fulfillment in the long#run to try to - the next time you have 5 spare hours - work on learning french or something that is actually significant to you#as a person and that you'll be glad you worked towards. instead of weeks and weeks passing by and feeling you have nothing to show for it#or etc. AAANYWAY. The images/rules themselves are also NOT the main point of this post. More just the juxtaposition of them together#and the fact that 3 of them are serious seeming while one is so mundane it seems silly in comparison.#BUT even though they're not the main point . I still didn't want it to come across as if I was like promoting or buying into capitalist#productivity culture propaganda or etc. I don't find productivity tips like this inherently bad as long as they're kind of divorced from#those ideas. I think it's still important in life to have goals even if those goals exist outside of the typical expected framework.#I mean that's actually part of why a culture of chronically exhausted overworked deprived people is damaging because if you#'re forced to spend 85% of your waking time working at some job that is perosnally meaningless to you that brings you nothing that#youre only doing under threat of starvation and houselesness and etc. then of course you don't have much time for hobbies or things you car#about and of course you'll feel more aimless and personally unsatisfied and like life is not fulfilling or interesting.#Productivity and efficiency is GOOD actually. as long as it's able to be directed in ways that are actually meaingful to the community or#individual and bring some sort of feeling of fulfillment or progress or accomplishment and working towards a person's personal ideas#of happiness whatever those are. rather than just working away aimlessly so some guy you don't know can buy a 20th house or etc. etc.#ANYWAY.. lol.. Me overthinking things perhaps.. probably not as likely#that people see the silly little cat images and go 'WOW EVIL you must be a capitalist grind culture lover' like its pretty clear#thats not the point... but... just in case... lol.. I loooove to over clarify things that don't actually need clarification
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I have Got to get more transgender
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#transmasc#trans ftm#transgender#i like 2 say i'm very trans already but unforch i am Not Really. mostly boring ftm Guy Ever#so tempted to cut my hair again but my sense of what i look like is already so fuzzy i dont think it'd help..#want to dye my hair anyways. at this point i'd take whatever color i can get if not purple LOL#it's almost everything i could want and yet ... still me. still the same life. stuck.#soooo high functioning like you wouldnt believe EXCEPT istg i need an emotional support human who will guide me through tasks#such as 'pay with your Moneys Card at the Store'#or... idk that's it really. maybe go grocery shopping without feeling like i'm not meant to be there also#or like. exist in general maybe#reasons why not emotional support Animal: creature cannot understand capitalism. and also is not as necessary as a service dog specifically#idk! every time i come on here i fall apart (in text) and then pull myself back together for another day of ... this i guess.#i'm not even having like crying breakdowns or anything to go along with it i'm just held inside this shell of a body. typing away again#i'm soso tempted to make things worse. progress wouldn't matter anymore... at least maybe it would feel real that i'm like this#i wish my face fit on my body right. and also that i did not look quite so much like a vaguely gnc lesbian#like at LEAST let me look butch as hell but no. curse of sad hair & uncertainty#miss my little mullety thing from that brief period in october... miss my short hair from back in 2017 ...#just dont feel satisfied with what i am now. in general.#top surgery is literally Within my reach but i'm not sure about cost and i need to wait because of doing guard now......#my list of do i want t i kept for the past month turned out to be a bunch of maybes#partially cause i got sick. partially cause it stopped being shark week and i forgot about it#as always happens...#still unsure in my new(er) name. only heard it once#didn't feel the same way as with my old one? but idk. just don't know.#missing guard also but feeling conflicted about not having time for other hobbies...#since winter season is over i've had so much time to play guitar! that's insane! mostly cause i stopped playing for unrelated reasons...#just tired again. wonder if i need more sleep than what i always get. kind of restless.#there's nothing else to say i guess. just wish i could be a person the way everyone else seems to be.
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#screaming into the void#im fine just frustrated and sad#i was finishing my huntokar necklace and it literally fell apart in my hands#ive tried talking about new writing projects for another blog and was met with zero interest#ive tried talking about projects in different places and just end up feeling like im half way into a story and no one is listening#it hurts and im tired of trying#i feel like i never grew out of the little kid phase where no one actually cares about my odd interests#i feel like the crying little kid everyone is ignoring because 'theyre just doing it for attention'#i feel like maybe i just don't exist and maybe that's why no one seems to care about the things try to share#i know it's not as bad as it seems im just incredibly discouraged right now#ive created beautiful things and almost no one in my life cares or is safe to talk to and share with#trying to share things online is often met with silence#its getting harder and harder to believe that my dad was wrong about my art and writing not having value#that he was wrong that my passions and the things i love arent worthless or meaningless#it makes me feel like i should just give up on making things#it seems doubtful any of it would be missed anyway#i know its dramatic to say and i know im magnifying a few rough patches right now i know im being emotional and overdramatic#but my chest hurts and it really does feel like nothing ive ever done matters like nothing i will ever create will ever matter#my thoughts and creative writing and art are all meaningless because no one seems to car#im sitting in an empty room full of people trying to be heard and no one knows im there
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#re: previous reblog: this is also why i don't like Anticapitalist Onboarding Rhetoric that borrows the narrative tropes of Grand Conspiracy#sorry but genuine systemic analysis is fundamentally incompatible with the image of a Secret Room full of malicious cackling puppetmasters#like is that not the WHOLE POINT..? that there are conditions under which Bad Things can perpetuate themselves absent Bad Actors..?#(like we could evaporate all Racist People with an anti racism laser tomorrow but b/c of current inequalities in income housing school etc#without actual wealth redistribution that won't actually FIX the inequality because it's entrenched enough to have become self sustaining)#idk maybe it just exists disproportionately where i've been looking but i feel like i'm seeing a huge upswing over this past year#in people who act as if the only two narratives are 'Everything Wrong is Your Own Fault' or 'Someone is Fucking With You on Purpose'#& i've felt like a crazy person for a while shouting about how leaning into the rhetoric & mentality of the second one is NOT HARMLESS#just because you point it at some person/people too powerful for you to really materially do harm to.#(introducing it under those parameters alone doesn't domesticate it! doesn't make it Safe to keep with you in your brain house!)#like i didnt Really Not Enjoy the gleeful countdowns of 'only x hrs of air left in that submarine lol' b/c of my deep love for billionaires#but i was struck by how many selfdescribed leftists really do seem to want to act as the agents of an equitable redistribution of suffering#& that just...doesn't ever lead anyone to good places. & it feels insane that i have to say that lol. but i'm right. & it doesn't.
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One issue I have is there's a whole lot of things where it's like "I'm actually nearly on your side, I'm very sympathetic to this, I just need one or two issues addressed and then I'd be with you on this... you just have to kinda... walk me through how this thing that feels like a kinda big problem isn't a problem"
And pretty much always it's just kinda like "oh, well it's not a problem, so don't worry about it"
...mhh... yeah... but I need some actual proof. I want to trust you, but I need something that actually deals with it, not to just basically be told to have faith... I have no faith, I'm a faithless person
And it's such a shame cause... instead of being able to work along side people I tend to hover off to the side trying to support it in my own small ineffective ways cause... I just have serious issues no one's ever bothered to address
Just sucks, you know?
#sorry; just can't get behind dogmatic stuff#there's people where it's like frankly I'd like to believe every word you say and just blindly agree with you because I like you very much#but... I can't#...I can't cause it sure seems like if we do things your way people will get hurt#and... you're... kinda... just... you know... pointing at tumblr posts and saying you think you heard this or that#ok; but... could we like... do research together and try and come as close to the objective truth as possible?#and then try and build our thoughts on how to support the best possible world based on the best information we can get?#I want to just follow blindly but... I can't#and I'm thinking of one thing right now; one particular thing; but I'm pretty sure there's a lot of others I could point to#and listen; I'm not saying I'm right or I'm smart#but if you ask I can at least draw you a line from point a to point z and walk you through why I think what I think#like I can tell you why I support Ukraine so strongly; I can point to patterns of behavior by russia#if you have the stomach for it I can walk you through war crimes; I can show why I don't think giving up land is acceptable#(the war crimes are relevant to why I don't think it's acceptable to ask Ukraine to give up territory... there's people living there)#it might take some time; a day or so maybe; but if you asked me a specific thing I would work to track you down a source on my opinion#like you don't have to take my word about the damn that russia blew; I can prove that happened#and then I can lay out why I find anything but that russia did it to not make a lick of sense#but... why on earth would I bother with all that; no one ever listens#last time I tried to explain to someone that they were mistaken about 80% of US currency being printed in the last 4 years#or... whatever total bullshit claim it was#I tracked down the source of the claim (said to myself this source reeks like shit)#I figured out what they were fudging to claim it; then I tracked that down and figured out what it actually said#(they changed how they account for US currency in foreign hands or something like that to try and account for it better)#(it's a change in how we tabulate things; the exact same amount of money exists; we just count it different)#(and so on the chart you have this jump... but it's a jump of a measurement not existing before and now it does)#(or something like that... no one listened last time I looked it up; why the fuck would I look it up for this)#and this is someone I'm friendly with and they couldn't even be bothered to say 'huh; I'm not convinced but thanks'#or whatever; you know; main point is they couldn't even be bothered to acknowledge it#do you know why I feel like I'm invisible? like I probably don't actually exist?#why if I were less in touch with reality I'd think the government swats messages of mine down so people can't respond?
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Sorry @buttonhouseparty, I thought all your tags perfectly encapsulated what I thought when I first saw this post so I'm putting them here:
#hasn't it always been like this though? I feel like we've had this conversation ever since the beginning #obv I love the captain. but the fandom has always emphasised him heavily over other characters #even ben said that it surprised him how much the story resonated with fans #(alison is literally the main character and she gets less attention) #and since the start there's been the critique that the fandom never talks about anyone else #with the response always: well. you talk about other characters then. you create the content you want to see. #however the reasonable answer to that is #why bother to do that when you know other fans won't be interested + won't engage with it #I've always felt like: I absolutely hear that critique and I do understand the captain bias is annoying + potentially problematic #but people do fandom for fun and they're just going to focus on their fave #it puts me in the odd position of feeling like I'm 'contributing to the problem' whenever I reblog #and it makes me feel vaguely guilty for not enjoying the show in the right way
[...] #also I'm here as a comedy fan so I'm not very interested in doing deep dives on the characters' trauma #I like a bit of angst but I also like a compilation video of captain noises #I mean I'll reblog cap ship fanart #I love to see it and I like doing my part in sharing around other people's creative work #but I also adore a post discussing the idiots' writing and influences #but that's not what this fandom loves to do so I don't expect to see many posts like that
#AND I think many fans were deeply disappointed by the xmas finale and have wandered off to other things #the ppl who are still here are still enjoying shipping and sharing pics of ben looking hot #which is fine. that's a fun hobby! but I get that it's far from satisfactory for the whole ghosts community #anyway yeah. we've argued this one to death over the past five years and it just makes everyone fall out. I don't know what the answer is
controversial take but being a longtime ghosts fan over the past few months has just been watching the captain become increasingly more prevalent in tags and fan content to the point where almost no other character’s stories or personalities are explored and usually if they are, it’s in relation to the captain.
I’m gay, a lesbian, and the amount of fanbases I’ve seen fall to mostly straight women and become a whirlpool of one white, conventionally attractive gay man played by a straight man has been so disappointing. the captain is not the only character in ghosts. he is not the deepest or most tragic character in ghosts. it is a found family themed show. we, gay people, do not exist as tragic entertainment to be fetishised. the women in this show are rarely mentioned in comparison to the captain, Kitty had multiple scenes about her abusive sister, is implied to come from a horrific colonialist background and basically came out as asexual in season 5 and nobody talked about it, Mary died in a way that was so horrific they didn’t even show it on camera but havers had five minutes of screen time and he is everything now, apparently.
it’s to the point where you can’t escape it, no matter what tags related to the show you do or don’t follow. I’ve seen it before with the way the good omens fanbase changed from people who respected this incredible story criticising blind faith in religion with queer characters that inherently further that message into people calling them “uwu husbands” or whatever.
I’m not particularly angry, I’m just sad to see that the internet has turned into this again. I love the captain. I love ben, he’s a fantastic actor that I grew up admiring!!! but the captain is not the entire show and I think we need to think about why he takes up like. 85% of fan works.
#if you would rather not habe these shared publicly I'll delete this#but yes I thought you neatly captured all the sides of this endless debate#there are tags relating to Ghosts that I have filtered because I've always found them annoying#angsty posts are sometimes a bit mawkish to me for a show that always finds a nice balance between silly and heartfelt#sometimes I just wholeheartedly disagree with someone's interpretation of a character or plot#I disliked the Christmas episode for its execution but I've seen posts that disagreed with its concept for what I felt were childish reasons#and the thing is all those vagaries of taste are specific to me and there are definitely lots of Ghosts fans who would disagree with#all of them#compared to lots of others it's not a big fandom but it's certainly big enough for people to have a range of responses to it#on the whole it seems reasonable to me a) to contribute to an aspect that interests you#and b) to use tag filtering or block users who you feel post too much about an aspect that annoys you#that's not a perfect system by any means but a fandom is made up of individuals rather than being a homogenous lump#I know maybe four other people who I can happily discuss Ghosts with on the same wavelength as it were#and that's fine#there isn't going to be one way of responding to the series that everyone who likes it is happy with#when you say that maybe we need to think about why he's in 85% of fanworks#the answer would seem to be that 85% of people creating fanworks responded as individuals to the story/ character/ actor#also reading this back the sentence 'we gay people do not exist as tragic entertainment to be fetishised' stood out to me#since I don't think the show does that#there's nothing exploitative or disrespectful in it and maybe that does exist somewhere in the fandom but I don't think I've ever seen it#so that's possibly a little uncharitable#I wrote these tags over the course of about half an hour in between staring out the window at George investigating the wisteria#looking like a fat grey flower fairy#so they are probably extremely disjointed and nonsensical#heigh ho#he's come back in with petals in his fur and looks unbelievably handsome#bbc ghosts
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Hiya!! 👋🏼😄 How's it going? Your fashion taste for Zuko in a Modern AU seems to be artsy, or maybe "formal" is the word. That shirt he wore when he gave Sokka romantic song advice looked Versace🧐. Anyway, I was wondering how you came up with it, he always struck me more as the type that didn´t care much about fashion, so I'm curious about other´s opinions and heacanons about it. And do you have any other fashion headcanons for the rest of the GAang? Also, their music tastes. How did you come up with them? Especially Katara's! 😍
Hello! As it happens, I have a lot of Thoughts and Feelings™ about this, so I'm leaving these over here, and the rest of my ramblings down below the cut!
Let us begin with the Gaang, shall we?
SUKI always struck me as that Pretty Girl from the Gym. She is so incredibly fit it isn't even funny. She could kick anyone's ass, and we'd all thank her. She has this casual gym style that somehow always looks glorious on her, as it should! Comfy yet fashionable clothes for a nice workout or a day in town.
Her music tastes are basically any and all power songs from the eighties and nineties. (Eye of the Tiger, anyone?) She also enjoys metal via Toph, and bands like BSB, NSYNC, or Boyz II Men with Katara. My girl has a very eclectic Playlist and we all love her for it.
SOKKA is That Guy™. Loose T-shirts and shorts everywhere he goes, no matter the weather. He's stupidly into fashion but it doesn't show! At all! And everyone teases him about it. His closet is about 90% Cactus Juice merchandise, hence the "it's the quenchiest!" shirt.
His fashion and music tastes are pretty much the same. He loves poetry but isn't really into lyrics. He'll misinterpret just about anything you place in front of him. His Playlist is mostly vibes and tiktok songs he kind of enjoys. He isn't really into music...at least not as much as his sister.
AANG owns exactly one hoodie, one pair of shorts, and one beanie (THE beanie). Oh, and the crocs—don't forget the crocs. Somehow, he's always wearing the exact same outfit. Every. Single. Day. Ancient Gaang lore suggests that the day Aang goes out without his beanie, it's the end of the world.
His Playlist is the poppiest, most bizarre thing ever. Every single song is Happy by Pharrell Williams levels of happy. Yet sometimes, among the bouncy dance-to songs, you'll find the strangest of things... (He does know what Good Day by Twenty One Pilots is about. That's the reason he likes it so much, actually. And it's so weird.)
KATARA is all about sundresses and loose pants. The epitome of comfortable loveliness. Light fabrics in blue shades, careful embroidery, delicate shoes, and little to no accessories—hers is a simple, yet quite adorable, style. She just needs to add more colors to her usual palette...
She is, first and foremost, a Florence + The Machine girl. It's the Dark Goddess of the Sea vibes, to be honest. Florence Welch is her idol and yes, she will fight you about lyrics interpretation, and win. It may not seem like it, but her music tastes are also very varied.
She draws a little from each member of the Gaang, so you'll hear her humming along to Gorillaz (where did you even find out about them, Aang?), The Weeknd (I...don't think this song means what you think it means, Sokka...), and Hozier (Zuko why did you dedicate Talk to me, Zuko WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY THAT).
TOPH...ah, lovely girl. I'll summarise everything about Toph’s fashion sense in two words: comfort and rebellion. Stuffy dresses forced on her by billionaire parents? No thank you! Give her tank tops with loose shirts and short pants. Bandaids shared with Aang, bracelets from Katara, and even piercings she got in tandem with Sokka. Shoes? What even is that?
Something I love about this fandom is our collective agreement that Toph is into the dirtiest, heaviest, most ear-splitting and soul-crushing death metal of all times. Her Playlist is full of the most obscure names to ever exist, and she can and will blast through your walls with the sheer volume of her speaker.
Zuko. ZUKO.
Even in a modern AU my boy must suffer. That being said, I envision Tales from the Couch as—well, exactly what it is: an ATLA modern AU. While there is not a war to fight, and a lot of plot lines are discarded or expanded upon, much about the core story remains the same.
This is my way of saying that Zuko still goes trough his redemption arc, and it reflects on his fashion choices.
The way you described it works perfectly because of one single reason: in this AU, Zuko is an artist. He had to suppress his love for writing and drawing because of his background and the expectations Ozai had for him (taking over the family company), and a very large part of his redemption arc directly affects his relationship with art.
In the Couch equivalent of S1, Zuko has fallen out of Ozai's graces, and is desperate to protect his place in the company and the Kasai household. He's pretending to be someone he isn't and trying to live up to his Father's image of a perfect heir while still being somewhat cut-off financially, and it shows.
He's all about imposing long coats and a semi-formal style, imitating what he knows Azula and Father would respect. He's striking and sharp and dark. But no matter how he dresses or carries himself (that air of cold superiority and arrogance)—it won't help him when he needs it the most.
In S2, Zuko has hit his lowest point. He's officially disinherited and tossed away by his father, and would be out in the streets if it wasn't for Uncle Iroh. He goes from sharp, high-tailored outfits to old second-hand clothes that hang loosely on his frame. He starts smoking and cuts his hair off, forgoing the undercut for the first time in years.
But then...Father accepts him back. When Zuko returns home, it's with respect to his name and a very high position in his father's company. He's finally the perfect Kasai heir, dressed in overly expensive suits and finery, even at home... But Father forbids him from wearing Lu Ten's earring, and Zuko can no longer recognize himself without the familiar glint of gold dancing on his peripheral vision.
When Zuko leaves the Kasai name behind him and goes back to living with Uncle Iroh...he's finally at peace with who he is, and what he wants in this life. The sharp edges aren't gone (they'll always be a part of him, after all), but now they're dulled by looser clothes and softer hairstyles.
He's an artist, and for once in his life, he is determined to pursue his own ambitions. Zuko's outfits may not be designer-made anymore, but he takes what he has and makes himself look like he wants to look, like the person he wants to be.
He doesn't read fashion magazines or keeps up to the latest trends like Azula does. He's just...Zuko. And his newfound confidence makes everything he wears look like it belongs on him.
As for music...well, Ursa raised a literature boy.
He loves lyric-heavy music and natural voices, be they soothing or powerful. Dissecting song meanings and possible interpretations with Katara is one of his favorite parts of the day. They're both very passionate and strong-minded individuals, so it stands to reason that their debates can get quite...heated.
Zuko's Playlist is both incredibly eclectic and somehow very...him. There's a common thread that binds together every song and artist he likes, and he's hilariously unaware of this. To take a look into his Playlist is a higher honor reserved only for those closest to him.
In the wide spectrum of things, it is no wonder that Zuko is, first and foremost, a Hozier man. But though Andrew is his God in all aspects of this life, there's someone else that has had a huge impact on him...
Two someones, actually.
Zuko refuses to tell anyone how he got into Twenty One Pilots, but it's kind of a moot point when the beginning of his obsession is nothing compared to everything that came after. They have just about the right amount of everything that makes Zuko...well, Zuko. The poetic lyrics, the soothing or raging music, the heavy, intensely resonant themes...
Up there, in the second artwork, I placed an album cover behind each period of Zuko's life. The election of these records is intentional, as I feel like their general themes work incredibly well with Zuko's arc and growth.
Blurryface in S1. For the demons within us. For giving a name to our fears and shame.
Trench in S2. For escaping the confined walls of a depression city, and fighting to understand the depths of the map of your mind.
Scaled and Icy in the first half of S3. For returning to places you had left behind. For convincing yourself and everyone around you that you're fine, that you're perfect, even though everything is crumbling inside...
Clancy in S3. For recognizing that you can backslide, that you can have fears and shame and pain—but you're shaping yourself with each step you take. For knowing that seeking help from others is okay. Nobody learns to walk on their own.
(And, in the end, you'll always be better than the person you were yesterday. If only because you're still here. You're still alive. You're still yourself.)
.
Overall, I rambled a bit too much, don't you think?
If you made it all the way down here—thank you so much for reaching out and being interested in this crazy AU! I hope you enjoy these ideas and tell me some of your own ❤️
#dema answers#atla#avatar the last airbender#zuko#katara#atla fanart#prince zuko#atla art#tales from the couch#atla modern au#the gaang#aang fanart#atla aang#avatar aang#aang#suki fanart#atla suki#suki#sokka fanart#atla sokka#sokka#zuko fanart#atla zuko#katara fanart#atla katara#toph beifong fanart#atla toph#toph beifong#toph#twenty one pilots
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Little thing inspired by various Justice League summons Danny posts I've seen about.
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Interdimensional travel was hard.
It was a true statement, and one that, in retrospect, was obvious. Of course interdimensional travel was hard. It was reaching out of your reality and into one that had an entirely different set of rules. However, having an interdimensional portal in one's basement tended to skew one's understanding of these things. That was why it took Danny so long to realize that the Observants were actually worried about him.
"Wait," he said, looking up from the (admittedly very passive-aggressive) report the crowd of Observants had just dropped on his (already crowded) desk. "You want to change my summoning ritual because you think other dimensions might hurt my human half?"
"Some of them certainly will," said one of the Observants, testily.
"I didn't know you cared about that," said Danny, still somewhat stunned.
"We normally wouldn't," admitted the Observant, "but although the position of Ghost King is, politically, a figurehead, you are metaphysically vital to the Realms as a whole. Damage to you is to be avoided, when possible."
"Uh huh," said Danny, looking back down at the summoning ritual change paperwork. Although, through a combination of Danny's own nature and the nature of time across dimensional barriers, Danny still looked fourteen and spent a great deal of his time going to school in Amity Park, he had years of experience interpreting the Observants' paperwork under his belt. "Yeah, it's just that I don't think this is the best way to, like. Do that."
"It is the best way to protect you!" said the Observant who had, apparently, been selected as the group's spokesperson.
"Maybe," agreed Danny, who wasn't entirely sure that was true. "But I feel like some of these modifications would kind of be a problem for wherever I wound up."
"Then they ought not to summon you."
While Danny agreed with that sentiment in spirit (getting summoned was almost always inconvenient and annoying), in practice, he wasn't so sure. "I don't think there's any way to communicate that to the guys who are summoning me. Like, some of them get me with old Pariah Dark rituals. And most of them don't really care if their mistakes screw over other people, so..."
"Next to the well-being of the Realms, that is a minor concern."
Danny didn't disagree with that, but he wasn't about to waste time arguing with the Observants about it. They just didn't get it. He tapped his finger on another section that was bothering him. "Also, this seems to keep me from getting out of the summoning circle at all. If someone is summoning me to ask for help, that's going to keep me from doing much."
"It will also keep you from inadvertently exiting into a hostile environment."
"Even in my home universe?" asked Danny, pointedly. "This seems like something more geared to imprisonment than protection."
The Observants were silent.
"Oh, come on, guys, really? Again?"
The Observants scattered.
Danny sighed and picked up the paperwork. He didn't think it was all bad ideas, honestly, but he needed a second opinion that hadn't tried to stuff him in the Sarcophagus of Forever Sleep Mark 2.
Maybe Clockwork would look it over for him.
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"It isn't an entirely terrible concept," said Clockwork, "except for the obvious drawbacks."
"The whole being trapped in the summoning circle bit," said Danny.
Clockwork nodded. "To be fairer than they deserve, there is no way to modify that portion of a summoning ritual in some types of universes but not others. Not from our own side of things, in any case."
"And I mostly can't get at the other side," said Danny with a groan. He perched on the back of Clockwork's chair. "I do want to make sure that I, I don't know, fit with other universes enough that I won't completely demolish them just by existing."
Clockwork hummed. "There are some ways to do that. There are drawbacks, however."
"Bigger drawbacks than accidentally nuking a planet because my radiation is different than theirs?"
"It depends on your perspective, I suppose."
Danny sighed. "Go ahead and tell me, then."
Clockwork picked up a pen. "You are a shapeshifter. You have multiple forms, one of which cannot be harmed through any normal means and which similarly would have little negative affect on the environment unless you acted to cause negative effects. Change the current ritual so that a summoning puts you in that form, and then further change it so that you cannot leave the circle unless you are in a form that will not automatically cause harm or be harmed by the laws of that universe."
"You mean my Ghost King form."
"All your forms are your Ghost King form."
"You know what I mean."
"I do," said Clockwork, smiling.
"It freaks people out, though."
"Your current form might, as you say, freak people out," said Clockwork. "If your summoners were, say, ants."
"Is that likely?"
"Not particularly. But consider the multiverse. Not all of your summoners will be human."
Danny crossed his arms, frustrated that there wasn't an easy solution. "I guess I could always shapeshift into something nonthreatening after. Hard to see if it's something safe without running into
"You can do more than that."
"I can?"
"Yes," said Clockwork, setting the pen to paper. "Let me show you."
.
The summoning circle shimmered and shivered as Constantine and Zatanna recited the chant, their voices rising and falling. Batman and other members of the League stood by, watching, waiting.
This, this ritual, wasn't their first choice. It wasn't their second, third, or fourth choice, either. But nothing else they had tried worked, and the entire world was at stake.
They were summoning the King of All Ghosts. An eldritch monstrosity that had once tried to conquer all realities. But the alternative was worse. Much worst. At least, with the King of All Ghosts, there was a chance that they could negotiate and that it'd want the Earth more or less intact for the sake of conquering it. At least, with this kind of summoning, they could offer a sacrifice, a bargain, a deal.
And if Constantine was good at anything, it was deals.
The lines of the summoning circle flared green, then pure white, and, without any other fanfare, the King of All Ghosts was there.
It filled the circle with starry darkness, struck with nebulae and aurorae. The clouds rippled as a star died near its heart, fiery cataclysms spreading throughout the being. A crown like the accretion disk of a black hole burned around its highest extremity.
Something like a voice, echoing and many-layered, emanated from the being. "Nghftùsh phlarûm âzgûm (1)." It paused, and the League felt it examine the area more closely. "Ko wgâ âzgûm nghftùsh derza. Ko gok hubhûfh fhtù gâh mglwnuh...(2)"
Constantine swore. "Oh, bollocks, I don't know that one. Would it be too much to ask that one of these things speak English? Just a little?"
"Nghftùsh ak. Ko ngngi. (3)"
"Zatanna," said Batman, "could a spell let us understand one another?"
"Kù-nghînku bùr fùmúu umni snîgûrip. (4)" It seemed to bend closer for all that it didn't move. "Nghftùsh laglúfhâk krîk ko phlî ak phlorza. Chthe nî hîhnâ, ka. (5)"
"I think I understand a little," said Captain Marvel, raising a hand. "I think it understands us just fine."
"Hagthu. Nghftùsh ngngi ùk nî chthe kûmpù nû gâ. (6)"
"It wants to get out of the circle," said Captain Marvel.
The veils of green light that shrouded the being rippled. "Dal phlù. (7)"
"Not without an agreement in place, you're not," said Constantine.
"Gagthashîzgathg. (8)"
"God," whispered Flash, "that hurts my throat just hearing it."
Batman shot him a glare, then stepped forward. They'd prepared a list of demands. Most of them were negotiable, but it was better to start something like this with things you were willing to remove or throw away. It took several minutes for Batman to read the whole thing.
"Ku. Chthal lohúfhâk hagthu. Fhta nghftùsh kâk phlorza ko thru. (9)"
"What did it say?" asked Batman.
"I'm... I think it said it'll do it, but it needs something from us in return."
Batman nodded. They'd expected something like this. Whatever it asked for, it would, without a doubt, be exorbitant. Then, they'd go back and forth, reducing each of their demands until they'd reached a deal both sides hated, but could accept. Constantine had bet that, at minimum, the King of All Ghosts would want the entire population of Earth as slaves.
"Nghftùsh kâk hû ko mglwno nî phnglâ gho-lobi. (10)"
"Uh," said Captain Marvel. "I think he said one of our lives."
"Hik! Rlo phlarâk kruk nîk ghû. (11)"
"Not just any of us," said Marvel. "It has to be someone who's a parent."
A tension fell over the room. They'd known they'd have to sacrifice something. A single life wasn't much, but for the King of All Ghosts to specify a parent...
"But are you sure it's just one?" pressed Constantine.
The King of All Ghosts gave off a sense of... exasperation? "Úzg, hû. (12)"
"One," said Captain Marvel. "Just one."
"And just us, not our kids or anything?"
"Nghftùsh ngngi ùk e nghuu. Gù phlarâk fush ko du? (13)"
"No, it doesn't want children. They're... wrong, somehow?"
"And it's not a sex thing?" Constantine sounded... strangely hopeful.
"Hik! Fhtùl! (14)"
"No," said Captain Marvel. "And... something about fat, maybe?"
"Oh, we're definitely getting eaten, then," said Constantine, with forced cheer. "I volunteer, then. It's not like my kids are sitting up waiting for me or anything."
"Hik nuk. Ngngi ko. E hâta phlarâk lerzaolûm. (15)"
"Not you, there's... something wrong with your soul."
"Oh, he's a picky eater, too, huh?"
"Let's not antagonize him, okay?" said Flash. "He's kind of-- He's kind of looming, right now."
And so it was. Somehow. Without moving.
"Who will... satisfy you?" asked Batman.
The entity did not move, but it managed to indicate Batman anyway.
"Very well," said Batman, before anyone could even attempt to talk him out of it. After all, his life for the lives of everyone in this universe was a very good deal. "Take me."
For the first time, the King of All Ghosts moved, all that darkness, all that light, rushing towards Batman.
There was a burst of blinding light.
When everyone opened their eyes again, a boy with black hair, blue eyes, and a jawline that bore more than a passing resemblance to Batman's was stepping out of the summoning circle.
"That's much better," he said, stretching. "No offense, dude, but you kind of suck at Ghost Speak." He turned to Batman. "What I was asking for was a template so I could exist in your universe and do what you want without accidentally blowing it up because of incompatible physics, but whatever. Not sure how you guys got me eating you out of that."
"You wanted a human appearance so you could better conquer this world?" asked Batman.
"Uh, no? You've got a pretty strong clause against conquering the world in your paperwork there. You're probably thinking about Pariah Dark, but he's old news." The boy smiled widely. "Let's get started on your problem, okay?"
I've been summoned.
You haven't summoned me before. You have a nice space station here...
I can. You can't.
Inter-dimensional language differences are so annoying.
I hope you can do something. This will be difficult, otherwise.
Good. I don't want to be in this circle forever.
Close enough.
Figures (literally, 'certainly').
Okay. That sounds good. But I need something from you.
I need one of you to be my template (literally, life-pattern).
No! It's like being a parent.
Yes, one.
I don't want your children. What is wrong with you?
No! Gross!
No way. Not you. You're crazy (literally, your soul is cracked).
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ꨄ X-O, KISS ME, DON'T SAY NO
KISSES WITH ENHYPEN
pairings: enha x fem! reader genre: fluff wc: 1k warnings: use of petnames, slightly suggestive notes: I wrote this for dream had to do it for enha too ! | LIBRARY
HEESEUNG — desperate, flirty kisses
A simple peck doesn't exist for Heeseung. You're like his drug, once he gets a taste, he's addicted. Quick morning kisses are impossible. One peck on your forehead easily turns into a full makeout session and suddenly you're late for work. And not for a second is Heeseung worried about your impending anger, instead he'll try and convince you to call in sick, no work meant more time for kisses, right?
“Heeseung, I have places to be” You know it's no use arguing but you seem to try anyway.
You'd been in this situation countless times before, and it ended the same way each time. In your defence, Heeseung was pretty good at convincing.
“Yeah, want me to list a few?”
Something about a kiss-driven Heeseung is so exceptionally flirty. You both know that you're never getting out of this your way. “My arms, the bed, against the wall if you're into that.
Okay maybe you didn't take much convincing either.
“All of the above?”
Heeseung can't dispute that.
JAY — forehead kisses
Jay's kisses are spontaneous, but so tender and loving, like a scene cut out straight from a high school romance.
You're perched up on the sofa with your nose stuck in one of those picture-perfect romance books you love so much.
Jay can barely make out your face from the material of the hood pulled over your head.
You look cute. There's a pair of blue light glasses resting on your nose and your eyebrows are furrowed with concentration. Jay couldn't help but leave a soft peck against your forehead. He takes a couple moments to just sit beside you and stare, truly wondering how he ever got so lucky.
Next thing you know, his hand moves carefully to tuck a stray piece of hair behind your ear, his thumb positioned just under your chin, guiding you into a slow, soft kiss.
JAKE — messy kisses
Jake kisses like a man starved.
Hands tugging at your hair, arms around your waist, loud, shallow pants filling the room. It's like he can't get enough.
He pulls back to stare at you, breathless. But only for a moment.
To Jake, catching his breath seems awfully difficult when you're staring up at him with swollen lips and a sultry gaze.
“I could kiss you forever.”
His words are more a promise than a statement, and how could you not believe him when he pulls you back in so impossibly close, letting his cold fingertips run across your skin.
Both his hands cup your cheeks, passionately. Lips moving over yours with an unsteady, fervent rhythm, and so much urgency, you swear you feel your heart beat out of your chest.
Each time you kiss is like the first, brash. But Jake always holds you so tight, like he's afraid you'll disappear the second he lets go.
When he does finally pull away, Jake exhales a soft laugh, giggling almost.
“You alright?”
You can only nod, burying your face in the crook of his neck.
SUNGHOON — distracted kisses
Playful fights or debates like whether orange juice is better than apple (it's not) or whether milk comes before or after the cereal always seem to arise with you and Sunghoon.
Part of it has to do with the fact that Sunghoon thinks you look so insanely fine when you're passionately arguing your point forwards.
But somewhere along the way Sunghoon stops listening to what you're saying, eyes zeroing in on your lips when he'd come to a sudden realisation. That shade of lipstick suited you, a little too well maybe.
“Hoon, are you even listening?”
He nods, he's not listening.
He wouldn't have this problem if the lipstick wasn't there. But you were still explaining in full detail, hand gestures and everything. And as much as he loved to hear you ramble, Sunghoon could not concentrate.
He was going insane— he needed to kiss you. Now.
You don't really know why you continue, seeing as Sunghoon's clearly not present, but you can't help but gasp when he pulls you in close and crashes his lips to yours.
“You're right, I wasn't listening”
JUNGWON — soft morning kisses
Soft and intimate, that's what kissing Jungwon feels like.
There’s quiet whispers of ‘I love you's’ and the sweetest compliments.
Even if you've just rolled out of bed, when your hair's a mess and your eyes can barely open all the way, Jungwon thinks you're beautiful.
“Good morning my love” he presses a kiss to the back of your head, just below your ear as he slips past you on the couch, making his way to the kitchen so he can check on breakfast.
But he can only stay away for so long, running back a few minutes later with your morning coffee and a couple kisses to keep you occupied while you wait for it to cool down.
“I love you.” he'd keep it short and sweet, holding your face in hands with so much care. By the time breakfast is ready, not a single inch of your pretty face remains unkissed and that's an achievement Jungwon is insanely proud of.
SUNOO — giggly kisses
You and Sunoo are like the epitome of PDA— cuddling, quick pecks on the cheeks, always holding hands— you have to have your hands on each other at all times. It's sickeningly sweet.
And matters only get worse when your behind closed doors, Sunoo would spend all his time with his lips glued to yours if he could.
He's obsessed with you, and your strawberry flavoured chapstick is anything but helpful. He needs kisses, no matter what it is you're doing.
“Sunoo, I'm busy.” You roll your eyes at him playfully, but he only shrugs, spinning you around on your desk chair.
“Too busy for kisses?”
When you nod, it's Sunoo's turn to roll his eyes.
“Wrong answer.”
And he crashes his lips to yours just as he had intended, illiciting a few giggles from you, laughing at his urgency.
NI-KI — kisses in the rain
Kisses never last too long with riki, quick pecks, passionate and loving but short. Long kisses, something you'd both be down to try but had never actually made the effort to. It's felt scary, awkward, maybe?
The two of you always had a more easygoing relationship, so your more affectionate gestures had always been kept to a minimum.
Until one night when your car broke down and you found yourself stranded in the middle of nowhere.
Rain pelted down from the sky and the wind whistled loudly, but even so, you'd be a fool not to step out of the car and watch the sunset in person.
You and Riki sat with your legs crossed, dangerously close to the cliff edge, bodies pressed against each other as an attempt to conserve heat.
There was something about that moment— maybe the soft glow of the sky as the sun dipped just below the horizon — or the way your eyes beamed and sparkled as each strand of your hair slowly grew wet. Something so raw.
Riki couldn't even bring himself to hesitate, pulling you into his lap in one swift motion and kissing you urgently.
One hand reached back to grip your hair, and another cradled your chin, guiding your lips further into his.
Safe to say, kissing in the rain might just be his favourite.
taglist: @chenlezip @nanawrlds @mystverse @jenobubbles @flaminghotyourmom @lotties-readings
#enhypen#enhypen x female reader#enhypen x reader#enhypen drabbles#enhypen imagines#enha x you#enha x y/n#enha x reader#enha x female reader#enha fluff#enha imagines#jake x reader#sunghoon x reader#jay x reader#heeseung x reader#jungwon x reader#sunoo x reader#ni ki x reader#niki enhypen#sunoo enhypen#jungwon enhypen#sunghoon enhypen#jake enhypen#jay enhypen#heeseung enhypen#enhypen headcanons#enha headcanons#enhypen fluff#enha fics#jake fluff
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You're a Daydream, Stay A While
joel miller x younger!reader
summary: you're jackson's designated bartender. well, your dad is, but after the arrival of a new face in town, maybe the inspiration to finally step up to your obligations kicks in.
warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap, smut, p. in v., oral (f. receiving), fingering, foreplay (mostly breasts), creampie, breeding kink (kinda), angst/comfort, insecure!joel (love touch etcetc starved), needy!joel, pov switch mostly joel (he's down bad as well), collected shitty puns from across the internet like thanos collected the infinity stones
word count: 6,136 words
side note: yk what's worst than simping for old men? simping for old men who don't exist. since y'all know, tlou II trailer dropped, which got me searching for joel's ***** to brace/prepare myself. umm so, why did no one tell me jackson!joel is the hottest thing ever? can´t wait to see pedro being senior citizen level of hot and dying (again) on his bday month! 😍 anyway, this is based on this request and well, yes! i too would flirt with an old ass if he looked like that™ hope u like it bc for some reason I'm not sure of it JSJDLKDFK also 400 followers GUYS STOP (pls don't) IT'S TOO MUCH (give me more) HELP!=="))??! (that i do need tysm)
The truth is simple: you hate working.
An apocalypse later, you figure there are more important things. But on Jackson, it feels like the world before fungus and violence, and everyone's got a role to play. As the daughter of Tipsy Bison's owner, yours is to help around the bar, something no matter how much your dad scolds you, you don't seem to care enough to even do a decent job.
Of course, it could be worse: patroling, keeping the cattle or crops, but not even then you're moved enough to give a shit about it.
Enter Joel Miller.
He, who made sure his arrival in Jackson didn't go unnoticed, making heads turn at it, not only because of his emotional reunion with Tommy, the little girl with him, or the fact that he left yet still returned. But also (mainly to you) because he was hot. Very hot.
Joel was the type of handsome that was rough in the edges, his closed-off demeanor and overall mystery adding to the thrill. His face seemed to be in a perpetual state of grief and darkness, sprinkled with grey and wrinkles, that in your opinion, didn't mean about age but just something that made his features all the more attractive.
It was a lie to say there weren't any boys your age in Jackson, good-looking too, yet you felt yourself gravitate towards Joel's musky presence. Yes, he could be your dad, but again, it's the apocalypse, and there are plenty of things to worry about than some age gap.
That doesn't stop the talking, anyway. It may be the end of the world, but gossip is just like cockroaches: it never dies.
The Tipsy Bison owner's daughter is in love with Tommy's older, much older, brother.
It didn't bother you, thought. You were pretty open about it, giving Jackson more to talk. Whenever Joel arrived at the bar, all heads would turn in your direction, ready for the shameless flirting and compliments you showered the oldest Miller in.
Maria had warned you, of course. She was the closest you had to a friend―sometimes being like a big sister, and she seemed to know what he was up to before, at the QZ in Boston, thanks to Tommy. Safe to say, you didn't care, despite listening to every word she had said.
Joel could break your heart, yet in a dying world, you weren't afraid to live.
Which is why now, as he enters the bar, you offer your dad to take his place.
"Go rest, I'll take this client" you offer with kindness, but he knows better. You're his daughter: in the end of the day, he's aware Joel is here, your shift in attitude warning him about Miller's incoming presence.
"If you will take this client, take the rest too" and before your dad can throw a speech about everyone being equal in Jackson, you're accepting to do the job properly, despite your grumbling and lack of interest to anyone who isn't Joel.
"Joel" you greet as soon as he sits, one of the many flirty smiles you have for him only adorning your face. He nods, avoiding your eyes that look at him like he could give you the world. He can't, so he keeps focused on the glass you're pouring in front of him.
"See? Didn't even need to ask. I already know" you seem proud of it, and the ghost of a smile brushes his lips.
"Well" he raises the glass, "it's an easy drink"
You feign hurt, "is that how you treat your bartender? I could poison your drink" Joel now truly smiles, knowing you could never, "or I could just strip you of your my favorite customer rights"
Now he feigns hurt, playing along for the first time in ever.
"Copied" he raises his arms in surrender, not before taking a gulp. You watch hypnotized the way his adam's apple bobs, the liquid sliding down his throat until it looses itself in the peak his two buttons undone give, of what looks to be a broad soft upper body, blessed with a patch of greying messy hair.
"Have they ever complimented you before, Joel?"
You. He refrains from answering, scared as to where little encouraging had led you and your shameless mouth to. He can feel the rest of the people behind him whispering, holes burning his neck. He can't let you win again: make him seem a pathetic excuse of a man who can't say no to a sweet doe-eyed delusional girl.
But you don't stop, despite his silence and the growing pit on your stomach.
"I'll take that as a no. Wanna know why?" he takes a much needed sip, "because all the good pick-up lines are taken"
This he can handle, Joel thinks. It's silly, proper of your age-
"But you aren't"
Ah, of course. Hasn't he learned?
You have the nerve to laugh, free as a wind chime softly carresed by the wind. His face burns, and even thought he's heard plenty of worse from you ("No pen, no paper but you still draw my attention", "Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?" "You must be a dog person because you look fetching"), nothing had affected him this much.
Which is why he tries to pull the mask that had accompanied him since he first knew what grief was, so no feeling would ever made him weak again in a world hardened with pain. He's so good at it, wearing it like a second skin that doesn't scrub off no matter how much he wastes Jackson's water supply away, he sometimes sees the way your face is crestfallen at his indifference.
But you're young and stubborn, as so was he, before all the suffering and broken dreams.
So you won't listen to the past or doubts: the moment he stepped a foot into the community, you knew it was over, beating so loud you could barely hear your own breathing or him, when Maria introduced you and he shook your hand with his much bigger one.
"Joel" he'd said, with the sexiest voice you'd ever heard. His hands were covered in gloves, but despite that and the cold winter, the warmth that pooled from his palms had spread across your cheeks and chest. It had taken you a while to realize you hadn't said anything.
"Y/n" you hate the way your voice sounded small.
He nods, a way of saying Nice to meet you in his withdrawn nature. Then walks away, with Tommy and the girl, who looks curiously at you, Joel completely oblivious of how he's just turned your world upside down.
"Welcome to the museum!" you had said.
He tilted his head in confusion, Ellie's stare intense. "I thought this' Jackson?"
"This is a museum, because you're a work of art"
The tip of his ears instantly reddened, and the laugh Ellie was containing bursted like a bottle of champagne.
"Look at you, old man!" she laughed at him, making you wonder their relationship and how closer they seemed to be, despite initial assumptions. "Can't believe a girl gets the big, grumpy, scary Miller to blush like a boy"
You think that's the reason behind his apathy towards you, barely reacting to your pick-up lines or "subtle" flirting. It's probably not a reason as childish as that, but you'd rather be wrong than accept he may never feel the same way you do.
Because for a moment, despite the times you lived in, life made sense.
So no matter the stares, Joel's guarded posture and lack of reciprocation, you'll always be there, waiting: riding the roller coaster, enjoying the high.
The speed brings you closer, even if that means you'll crash.
Unfortunately for Joel, he knows who you are.
He's not even ten patrolling jobs closer to owning a bottle of whiskey of his own (he thinks earning it is bullshit, hasn't he done already enough?), so he's forced to go to the only place where he can get it.
And of course, there's you: a name and face he couldn't place upon his arrival, even if you had introduced yourself with your shitty line (which made him blush and Ellie laugh, so maybe it was a grudge what made him bent on removing you from his head) yet now is ingraned into his mind.
He doesn't know what's worst: your flirting or the fact that you seemed genuine about it. Or maybe it's the fact that he can tell you apart from the rest now, with a face full of life, always ready to give him your best smile and serve his glass the way he likes.
He needs to be the bigger person in this mess and stop it, Joel thinks. He isn't one to care about the talking, years of being brutal hiding any possible feeling that isn't rage. But then Ellie smuggled her way in his life, he found Tommy again, and Jackson was a reminder of old days when he would allow himself to feel anything else. So, in a way, he's become a bit susceptible to the talking behind his back.
How could he entertain a girl that could be his daughter? hushed, behind his stool. But then your fingers brush "accidentally", and his dick twitches between his legs when you bite your lip, pronouncing a Sorry like no one has said before: a tone so low and sultry, he's convinced wasn't even possible. Then you bat your eyelashes, and laugh (a sound both as delightful as addictive) before you're saying: "Don't mind them. They're just jealous you've got all my attention" and for a brief second, Joel let's himself believe he's special and worth of your time.
It's now a while since he's been there in Jackson, slowly settling into a life that doesn't involve running and fear.
If he thought your little crush was a phase, he's wrong.
You're still giving him time.
He's not supposed to get attached to you, Ellie, Tommy and Maria (future nephew in the way) more than enough. But then, when he's alone in a house too big for two people, Joel misses the way your loud voice fills the eerie silence that's followed him since death has been tracking his every step. Or how your interest on his life doesn't seem an act, listening to every word he says with tender eyes and soft smile, sometimes even making the effort of bringing things he's said before into new conversations; remembering. His heart flutter at your compliments, no matter how dumb they are, probably because he's not used to that stuff. As he lays awake at night, brain clogged with wounds too deep to bear, he finds comfort in things he has a feeling he's too old to get worked up about.
"Joel" you had said one day. God, he loved his name on your lips. The way you say it so sure, as if you'd follow him wherever he'd go.
He coughs. "Yeah?" and you smile, because at least he's looking in your direction.
"The chance of meeting a person like you is the only reason I talk to strangers"
The way your tone was straight, not flinching or faltering scared him. How something akin to sincerity dancing in the sparkles of your eyes, that now seemed to waver not out of whimsy but out of vulnerability, perfectly hidden in what could pass as another one of your attempts to woo him, but Joel's lived and seen enough to know it means much more.
So now, whenever there's darkness, he finds light on replaying those small moments on his head.
Dear God. What's he become? Ellie can't find out or he'll never hear the end of it.
But this things you don't know. All you see is a wall, and you're getting tired of hitting it.
The few words he spares your way are now a punishment you endure, cruel reminder that it's all you'll ever get.
Could you be in love forever? Could you even love?
It was a new feeling. Foreign, in fields of inexperience, but familiars in others. You may have never felt it, but the way your beat was steady when he showed up, worn out boots against the wood creaking under his weight, makes you believe when you know, you know.
"Hello, Joel" your father greets before you speak. Today, no matter how much you tried to shoo him away, he stayed.
You send a small smile his way, but he doesn't return it. You feel small, like a kid, undeserving of his attention. There's a bit of relief knowing your dad's there, so you let him take Joel for you.
There's always a first, and when both your dad and Joel notice, the latter feels a little sting on his chest.
But he's caused this, he thinks. It's what he wanted, after all: for you to stop chasing a man with scars in and out, bearing sins and blood where you had innocence and love.
"We're having a party tonight" he comments, making Joel quirk an eyebrow as he sips.
He gives you a brief glimpse, lost in the curve of your ass in those tight jeans, you giving him your back. He dryly scoffs on instinct at your deliberate choice to ignore him.
"Why's that?"
"My daughter's birthday"
He sees your body tense in the corner of his eye, wiping the glass in your hand with a bit too much force.
"Happy birthday" Joel speaks up, and you mutter a weak Thanks.
That's all he gets? No smile, no looking his way. Just a dry thank you that sounds more like something he would say.
Oh.
Was this how you felt?
"Time sure flies by" your dad sighs nostalgic, completely oblivious to the whole thing. "I feel if it was yesterday we came home from the hospital with you"
You smile, but it doesn't reach your eyes, despite the obvious adoration for your dad.
"Don't get sappy on me" you sound embarrassed.
"I don't care. Twenty-one years later and an apocalypse in the mix, you're still my baby"
"Dad!" your cheeks heat up, and Joel almost forgets he's there, his body back to life when your face goes back to its normal color and happiness.
"Which means" your dad goes back to Joel, "you're invited"
Your laughter dies and Joel's chest tightens.
"You need to stop saying that. All Jackson is invited" you respond, making him flinch. The bite is obvious.
You're not special, is what you try to say in between lines.
"I'll be there" tone daring, and your father feels something has shifted in the air.
You don't answer after that. What are you supposed to say? Don't come? I hate you for making me feel small? He doesn't owe you anything, but it still hurts.
"It's at seven" there's a sharp edge to your tone when looking at him.
"I'll be there" he repeats, still, but it sounds more like who he really is trying to convince is himself.
Joel is there, as promised. You don't know why, but after what happened earlier, for the first time ever, seeing him brings you dread.
He catches you in a corner, sipping on some drink.
"Hi" it's soft, the tone new, and it doesn't help the pit in your stomach.
"Hey"
"Why are you here?" he's curious., "ain't this supposed to be your party?"
It's funny, really. The way everyone else mingles around you, laugh and talk, yet here you are, bitter inside the shadows of your corner.
You raise your glass and chuckle dryly. "Well, cheers to that"
"You shouldn't be here" he insists, and you roll your eyes. Then, his voice goes soft. "Is... Is this because of me?"
You scoff, venom falling out of your bitter laugh. "Wow, big ego you got there. Newsflash: the world doesn't revolve around you"
He's so used to your pinning, it's hard to bear the change.
"I wasn't saying that, I just-"
"Please don't" you cut him off. "Don't ruin my birthday more than you already have, thanks"
You decide to walk away, but Joel won't let you.
"I don't want that" he insists, blocking your steps. "I want you to be happy"
"Don't bullshit me" your tone is icy, cutting like daggers. "Please, leave me alone"
"Not until you're fine"
You scoff at his incomprehensible behavior.
"Oh, now you care? Drop the act; you're just angry I'm not stroking your ego anymore like a lovesick puppy. Truth is, you don't owe me anything, Joel"
He looks like you've slapped him across his face.
"I know" his voice darkens, filled with tension. "But-"
You get tired at Joel's sudden insistence, overwhelming you with confusion. This is the same guy that has uttered less than fifty words your way, indifferent to your flirting and special treatment. Of course, it may have been a little silly of you to expect so much from a guy older even than your dad, but his apathy was borderline rude, and that you can't excuse. Or understand. Or let go.
So yes, you're being petty. And yes, it also feels good to have him begging to have your attention, the roles reversed.
"But what, Joel? Is there anything you can say, really? It's not that serious" you empty the glass in a chug, feeling dizzy. "Live a little and stop being so obssesed with me"
He shoots you a look hard to decipher. There is hurt: from all the emotions available, he chose the one thing you didn't think he'd be capable of feeling. Hell, he looked rather more like the cause than the affected on the other end. But then auburn fires flash behind his eyes, and the circle repeats itself, the danger and rage Maria warned you about.
"Obssesed with you?" his eyes carry a wild light in them. "If anyone is obssesed, well, it ain't me"
"I need air" you push past him, done with his shit.
"I'm sorry-"
The cold wind hits your face as you storm outside the bar. Is this a lesson to be learnt? Was this how heartbreak felt? The only thing you know is you need to get the farthest you can, even if your footsteps feel heavy with the weight of the snowed streets and frigidness of your heart.
"Y/n, wait!"
You turn around. Unbelievable: Joel Miller is running after you.
"What the fuck is wrong with you, Joel?!" you shout, "why can't you just leave me alone?!"
"Because I-"
"There's nothing for you to say" you counter, pinching the bridge of your nose in frustration. "If this is some sort of guilt thing, I need you to let it go. What I did- I mean, you should probably forget about the whole thing. It's my fault, and I'm sorry my reaction is immature and what not, but I should've known to read the signs. You're simply not interested in a girl who hasn't truly lived or known what pain is"
After you confession, you hear a laugh. You raise your eyes, anger and hurt flashing in tears.
"And you have the nerve to fucking laugh?! Fuck you, Joel" you want to walk away to save yourself from further embarrasment yet your feet seem to be stuck.
"Oh, sweetheart. I'm not interested?" you roll your eyes, but he pins you by your shoulders, as if knowing you'd walk away. "Listen, I need you to know somethin': I'm not who you think I am"
"I don't care" you interrupt, defiant. "You're right, I don't know who you are. But I want to. Who you where outside this walls... It doesn't matter, not to me. You did what you had to do to survive, and that brought you here. Jackson... think of it as a second chance. You can still be happy, you know?"
With me, dies in your throat, not wanting to give more of yourself away.
"It's better this way" Joel insists, "hell, you'll even thank me one day. There's plenty of young boys here who'd love to be with you, trust me"
"I don't want them, Joel. What's so hard to understand?" what makes you get closer to him, you don't know, but in a sudden rush of force, you find the courage to look at him, body standing still as you exhale, fears condense in the air. "I only want you"
"You don't" you should roll your eyes again at his stubborn character, but his voice comes out so small, almost as if resignated, that it tugs your chest.
"I do" you reply firmly, cupping his cheek with tender care. He leans in your touch, despite it revealing his true desires when it comes to you.
"Why me?" Joel whispers, bigger hand covering yours, as to prove it's real and the warmth isn't a joke. "Why not a younger, charmin', happy boy your age? Why a broken violent older man?"
His voice breaks after the admission, quietly seeping into heavy silence that falls like the snowflakes in his hair.
"Joel" you call his name softly, making those sad brown eyes look at you. You gulp, nervous at the storm of emotions inside them, "is it so hard to believe you can be loved?"
Your words make him falter, his grip loosing strength as he tumbles back.
"Love?" he repeats with disbelief, as if you'd just say some kind of tale. "There isn't love in this world left for me. Men like me don't deserve good things, especially if they comin' from a pretty girl as yourself"
You shouldn't be blushing at times like this, but the maroon splash on your cheeks betrays you, warm as the drink from before and red as the dim lights casted by Jackson's Christmas tree in the middle of the town.
"Joel" you call again, and he's surprised you're still there. That you hadn't turn your back on him, or looked into his eyes and saw the monster in him, running away to never come back.
"If you let me" you hold his hands to steady him even as they tremble, "I could"
I could love you.
The promise hangs unspoken in the air, the wind now barely above a humming.
"You'd take me" his voice falters, "with all I've done, knowing I've hurted people?" Killed people, but he can't bring himself to say it when you look at him like that: like he could learn to love you.
"Yes" your voice doesn't waver a bit, "every part of you"
"And you'd take me knowin' that I'm years ahead in hurt, age and life?"
"Yes, Joel" you giggle. "Are you making me do an exam on your life? Because that's not fair, you've barely spoken to me, or anyone else for the matter!"
He chuckles, shaking his head.
"I s'ppose life ain't fair, sometimes"
"But it could be" the moonlight of the now clear sky shines over your eyes, and Joel is sure that the stars would be jealous.
"It could" he repeats, as to believe it himself.
Silence settles again, but it doesn't feel suffocating anymore.
"You know, we should probably get inside"
You dissmiss his words. "Nobody has even noticed we're gone"
"What about the cake?"
Your chest feels warm at his concern. He may not believe it, but the old-world Joel, the one who was a contractor in Texas and had a daughter, is still there, somewhere.
"Jackson is real, but miracles not" you laugh, "we don't have those. The party really is just an excuse for dad to drink with his friends during labor hours"
"And yours?" Joel inquires, "where your friends at?"
"Left early" then you lean to his ear, hot where skin meets cold. "I told them to"
He tries, but all words die on his throat.
"Wanna know why I did it?" your fingers wander to his tense jawline, tracing your sharp nails until they descent to his neck, sprinkled with loose hairs from his beard.
"Why?" voice barely above a whisper, his cock painfully hard between his legs. That you don't know: just the glint of dark on his hazel eyes.
"Why don't we find out?" and your hand takes his to lead the way. When he doesn't move, you try other way.
"I'm the birthday girl" you tease softly, but your orbs sparkle with something akin to dangerous. "You better make it up to me"
You've walked this road so many times, yet it's never felt longer.
The house is alone, you'd say, and Joel followed you because well, he'd follow you anywhere. He notices you said 'house', an indicator you still live with your parents. He wonders if you're embarrased, but by the way you smile, inviting him inside, to a part of you intimate and unknown until today, he knows he's chosen right.
When you open the door, cold creeps in through the cracks of warmth. You lead the way to your room, and once you're inside, he thinks it's very you.
"Very me?" you giggle, taking a seat in the bed. Joel watches from the doorframe, his bulky arms crossed. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"It's cute" and you think it's not a frequent word in his vocabulary, thanks to the pink dusting his cheeks.
"I'm cute?" you repeat delighted, and the shade of pink turns darker.
He just nods, avoiding your gaze.
"Joel" you call, then pat the spot next to you "why are you so far away? Are you scared?"
He grumbles something under his breath before walking over to where you showed. The bed creaks under his weight, and now that he's closer, you hear the wavering beat of his heart and ragged breaths.
"You are scared" you repeat, a statement now. He thinks you're mocking him, until your sure hand grabs his. "It's okay"
Before he can add on that, your face is too close, your breath tickling over his nose. He feels the moist of your lips press over the brigde of it, with a tenderness that brings ghosts of tears he has since long shade to his eyes.
Then they smoothly move to catch him in a kiss. He lets out a shaky gasp against your mouth, letting himself loose on the whiskey drops inside, an intoxicating mix against his own. His hands find your waist, gripping the soft skin with calloused fingers, refusing to leave it. He squeezes your curves while infiltrating your mouth with his tongue, until he pulls to breath, making you whine.
"Fuck, sweetheart" he nips your lower lip, "ain't you the sweetest thin' to ever exist?"
The kiss gets more heated, his hands now traveling to your face as they hold onto you for support, rough digits meeting peachy skin. Just the mere act of kissing makes him groan against you, too old to be shameful about the needy sounds coming out of his mouth.
"Joel" you whimper his name. He stops and takes the time to bore his gaze over your flushed face, your own dazed eyes mirroring his.
His fingers find their way to your hips again, pulling you closer. The moment caughts you and the bed off guard, the furniture creaking while your eyes move to the hardness visible on his worn-out jeans. You move your head to free your mouth to talk, but that doesn't stop Joel, who hungrily kisses the trace of your jaw and the road starting in your neck and finishing on your collarbones.
"Is that because of me?" Joel whines against your lips, yet you can't stop staring at the very big silhouette. "Oh, happy birthday to me"
Joel whines when you tear way from him, his hands loosing grasp on your body. You move up against the headboard, spreading your legs for him to put himself in between them.
You take off your clothes, and his eyes don't leave your body as if it's a show for him. He can drool at the sight of your breasts, rosy skin waiting for his tongue and teeth to sink on it. He leans closer, eyes looming at moles he could beg to kiss.
Now you, your expectant eyes plea. Joel's posture adquires a guarded air, as he grows self-conscious.
"Stop staring at me like that" he nervously chuckles.
"Is there something wrong?" your sweet voice inquires, laced with concern. He gulps, kind of afraid and embarrased of what you would say.
"I'm..." his voice comes out strained, "I just-"
His mind briefly wanders to Tess, how she never said anything, rather busy seeking the warmth of his body without commenting about it. The act mattered over the feelings, which where in her eyes but not his heart. But now, his heart beats in a different sound, one where he wishes you won't judge a body crossed with the roughness of scars yet the softness of extra weight.
"M' just warnin' you, doll" the nickname brings butterflies in your stomach, "this body's seen better days"
He removes the layers of clothing: flannel first, and then tight white long sleeved shirt. He's left in his jeans, unbuckling his belt that falls to the floor with a thud. His breathing turns to panting, afraid to meet you in the eye.
"Joel" you repeat his name, bringing him back to reality. "Look at me"
He's killed people, faced raiders as much as infected, and other countless things, so he dares himself to look up, breath hitching when he finds you eating him with your eyes.
"Fuck, Joel. I didn't know you were so pretty under those dirty ass flannels"
You knew he'd be handsome; that's literally the reason why you chose to flirt with him. But now that he's completely stripped off his layers of warm clothing, it's even better. You can't stop your hungry eyes from roaming his body, lingering on the soft swell of his stomach, hanging over the waistband of his underwear. A scar that looks deep is near his belly button, and you wonder if he'll ever tell you why. There's a patch of hair over his soft chest your tongue wants to lick. And of course, his strong arms packed with broad shoulders that make you want to scream.
"Stop lying" he chastises, but there's a smile adorning his features. A true smile on Joel fucking Miller's face. What a rare sight; you need to see it more.
"W-where your condoms?" he asks, nervous.
That catches you off guard, too busy cooing over how a man so big and sturdy could fold that easily, looking and sounding small.
"I'm not sure. I mean, maybe on my parents room but I-"
You cut yourself. Joel's concerned gaze finds you. "Yes?"
"I want you, Joel" the intensity of your stare terrifies him. "All of you"
He falls closer to you, forehead against your own. He can't bring himself to look at you, so he closes his eyes and dares to ask:
"Are you sure you want this?"
Are you sure you want me?
"Don't you trust me?" you're all smiles, even if your voice is soft. "I want you. I truly do"
He's hiding his face into your shoulder until you feel his lips pressing against your now bare skin, making you shiver.
"Where you want me, birthday girl?" he says between kisses. "Tell me, sweetheart. I'm all ears"
"Please, Joel" you unhook your bra, letting your breasts free. His lips begin to kiss his way to your breasts, tongue teasing the skin before nipping it. Joel's teeth catch the hardened nipple, grazing it lightly.
"S'pretty" he sounds drunk, and you love the way he looses himself in the pleasure haze.
He continues kissing your breasts before positioning himself right so he can hover above you. The kisses turn wet and sloppier, as if all his energy was to be spent into the rosy skin.
"Can I taste you, sweetheart?" he lowers his head to your entrance, already soaking wet with your arousal. "Fuck me, if this ain't a meal"
"The best in all Jackson" you joke, but the laugh dies in your throat when Joel's nose ghosts over your throbbing pussy.
"I- fuck, Joel" you moan when he licks your folds, his tongue an expert. For a brief moment, you think of who came before you, and if this is what they got or you're getting the best version. His saliva mixes with your dripping juices, making you whine as his tongue licks your swollen folds. His fingers then slowly inserted themselves inside at the same time, moving in and out of your puffy walls. His groans mix with the sound of your whines and the furniture creaking, the sounds obscene and feeling so far from the outside world.
"You're so good at this, baby" his sweat mixes with the blush on his face because of the nickname, nose pressed against your clit as he keeps up the ministrations. "D-don't stop"
"This pussy's so pretty" he says, "and s'only for me, yeah?"
"Yes, Joel. Only yours" you whine, your orgasm approaching. All of your body feels on fire, every touch inching the burn in your stomach closer as his head remains between your legs, tongue insatiable. You come all over his face, your hands digging into his damp locks as you scream his name to the air.
Joel raises his head to capture your lips on a wet kiss, the taste of you inside your mouth and dripping from his coated beard.
"Ain't you sweet" you open your legs further. "You're such a tease, sweetheart. Gon'be the death of me"
"I just like seeing you like this" you admit.
"Means?"
"So fucking needy"
A borderline primal grumble births from his throat. "You've a filthy mouth on you, sweetheart" he chuckles while wrapping your legs around his waist and lining himself up. Joel's tip runs up and down your folds, grazing your clit long enough to make you gasp.
"And you're s'fuckin' tight" he mumbles under his breath. You gasp for air as you try to adjust yourself to the huge size of his girth, afraid you bit more than what you can chew. His pace starts slow but gradually picks up a rougher and quicker pace. Joel grunts between thrusts, yet takes his time to make sure his lips kiss every mole sprinkled across your face and chest, his favorite just above your left eyebrow.
"I want ya' to come first, like a present" blush crosses through his face again. He leaves teasing kisses against your face, as you wail, finally hitting you.
"I'll wait for you" you whisper, your hips aiding you to sustain his sloppy thrusts, "want you to come too. Inside"
You feel his softening dick twitch, suddenly rock hard again. Oh, so he was into that.
"Don't worry, I have a pill" you explain. "So go ahead, pretty boy. Show me if the size matches the talk"
"Bet" his voice acquires a darkness to it. "Gonna fill you with all of it, until you milk my cock dry. Gonna fill this pretty pussy until it's full of my seed and it leaks for days"
He follows right after, groaning into your shoulder, where he bits the skin. His tongue wets the area, to relief the pain, yet you like it. Thick ropes of cum paint your puffy heat creamy, Joel panting as he stares down at you.
"What?" you chuckle.
Maybe Jackson was a safe haven. Heaven incarnate. Maybe second chances were real, and for the first time in years, he feels safe.
"I don't deserve you" he voices his thoughts, forehead pressed against yours as he tries to even his breathing, yet each breath seems more labored than the last.
Your hands travel to his face, cupping it with tender hands. He leans on the touch, because despite his crimes and past dawning upon him, he's a man: one seeking comfort on a pretty face and anything that'll remind him of distant emotions that can still exist despite what the world has become. Joel's hands travel to yours, thumb brushing skin free of scars and pain. He envies and loves the beauty in your face, eyes full of something akin to affection looking back, blurring the pain mirrored on his own. You kiss him again, and he can feel the emotions in the tip of your tongue.
"You're wrong" your voice holds a quiet determination. Time was a precious gift, but in Jackson, time could be, and the resolve longing tells him you'll be there. I'm not going anywhere, Joel. Not without you. "We all deserve love, Joel"
Joel Miller is a man who finds it hard to trust, yet, when he takes a look at your eyes―warm as coffee, he allows himself to believe in you.
#dilfistwrites#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal x you#joel miller#joel miller tlou#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#joel miller smut#joel miller angst#jackson!joel miller#tlou#tlou fanfiction#joel tlou#the last of us#tlou hbo#tlou joel
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A Workshop for Creating Magical/ Fictional Crystals: A Guide from a Geologist
Hi folks, its me, here to talk about fictional writing again! Today I'm just tackling the idea of magical stones/mana stones by looking at existing minerals today and some neat properties that they have, and how you can apply these things to a fictional world. The goal is mainly to help you if you are stuck trying to come up with a unique magic system, or a unique identification/characteristic of your mineral.
First Things First: Mineral Shapes
I am exhausted, petered out, down-right fatigued by seeing every mineral depicted with having the crystal structure of calcite and quartz. There are soooooo many cooler, more interesting crystal structures, don't you think you would stop and take a look at a perfect cube in nature? It is completely unsettling.
Second: Color
Color within minerals can either be really important, or not important at all! It is your choice to decide if color is going to be something that means something to your mineral. But what are some times when the color is important? Well.... there are some elements that are called chromophores, this classification just indicates that these elements, when present, will determine the color of whatever they are in. So, if you wanted to treat mana like a chromophore, you could say, "Oh everything that contains mana turns green!" This could mean that regardless of the mineral, if that mineral is a specific color, it means it contains mana. This concept is exciting because you can just stop here and use minerals that already exist! You can also use it as an indicator for a magical ore! Chromophores are typically metals, so if you are making a new metal weapon, making the ore of that metal a unique color would make a lot of sense!
However, your mineral can also just be every color of the rainbow like quartz and perhaps that's what makes identifying your mana stones elusive and create an illusion of scarcity that your character can solve.
There are other things that can change the colors of minerals, like radiation damage, and electron exchange, but I think that is beyond what would be helpful! So lets talk about some unique color properties that happen in nature that seem magical in the first place! Maybe you don't need to design a mana stone, but you want a unique gemstone that only the royal family passes down or something (IDK).
The first one is the alexandrite effect! This is where a mineral can change color in natural light vs. incandescent light. (the mineral itself is not changing, but the lights contain different amounts of different colors that then get absorbed by the stone). Even if you don't use electricity in your fictional world, you could have the colors change in the presence of light magic. This could create fun misunderstandings about what the mineral is reacting to!
Pleochroism
Pleochroism is something that most minerals have, it is frequently used to help identify minerals in thin sections, however minerals are usually not pleochroic enough for it to be visible to the naked eye! Pleochroism is just a fancy name to describe the change in how light is absorbed based on the angle of the mineral! So if you scroll up to the first image where I showed a lot of crystal shapes, most of them have angles where they are longer and shorter! This will effect the way light travels in the crystal. Tanzanite is a popular mineral that does this.
Photochromism
This is when a mineral will change color (in a reversible way) when exposed to UV light (or sunlight), I am not going to go too into the details of why this is happening because it would require me to read some research papers and I just don't feel like it. The mineral that is best known for this is Hackmanite!
Alright! These are all the really cool color effects that might inspire you or maybe not, but now I am going to talk about how you might find your minerals within a rock!
When I see a lot of magical caves/mines, typically I see them with some variation of a geode honestly, but most minerals are not found like that! Now I am sure most of you guys have seen a geode, so I will not really talk about those, but I will talk briefly about porphyroblasts which is when the mineral grows larger than the minerals around it, this happens in metamorphic minerals!
sorry random stranger, but this is an image of garnets inside a finer-grained rock at gore mountain in New York!
Another way you might find minerals is in a pegmatite! This is when all minerals are really large! This is a formed from really slow crystalizing magma!
But something else to think about is that your mineral might just be massive, it doesn't have to have distinct crystals, it may be similar to jadeite where small grains grow together which leaves it looking smooth and seamless! A note about all of these is that you would have to mine into the rock to find these, there would not be any natural caves in these rocks! Caves are only ever really formed in limestones and maybe marbles (rocks that react with acid).
How can your characters identify these minerals?
Typically when you are out in the field you will look to see what type of rocks the minerals are found in (The overall texture of the rock will tell you how it formed). If you know how the rock formed, it will narrow down the amount of minerals you need to think about by quite a bit! Next, you are going to look closely at it and observe its crystal structure, does it have an obvious crystal? if so what is the general shape? If it is broken, how did it break? Did it fracture like glass or did it break along uniform planes. Some minerals have a thing called cleavage (breaks along planes of weakness). If a mineral exhibits this habit, it will again help narrow this down. Next we can look at color. Color can be misleading, because minerals like quartz can be any color imaginable, but minerals like olivine will always be green! The next thing your character can do is test for hardness, minerals all have a specific hardness that can help identify it as well.
After you go through all of this, your mineral might have some special property! This could be magnetism, fluorescence, reactions to acid, or any of the color changing effects I mentioned above! Other than that, your character can take it back to a lab and do a number of things to identify it, but the most typical thing would be for them to make a thin section (very thin piece of the rock) and observe it under a cross polarized microscope!
On that note folks! I hope this helped in some way in thinking of new magic mineral properties! I have other guides that explore some different fictional worldbuilding issues you might run into, but if you have any topics you would like me to cover please that I haven't mentioned already, let me know!
#geology#rocks#creative writing#fictional world#worldbuilding#dnd#dnd worldbuilding#worldbuilding stuff#writing resources#info post#information#writing
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