#i feel like it could be an adhd thing

[deadtiredghost]

i used to be able to read books.

i used to read so many books.

i spent every lunchtime in the library and read realy physical books.

now i read fanfiction.

8hrs a day reading fanfiction.

and if i cant read enough during my work that day then i stay up all night reading fanfiction.

what is my life?

why am i like this?

this is a cry for help. (/hj)

I dont think i've read a whole physical book in 3 years.

people will ask me what i read and i stutter out random books or light novels that i am definately not reading. no. i'm reading hurt/comfort fanfic of whatever characters i'm in the mood for that day.

I'm attempting the game of thrones books this summer tho. wish me luck!

(i was gonna ask for fanfic recs but i have too many fandoms i could nameeee that i read from....)

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[icewindandboringhorror]

Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~

(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)

[deoidesign]

I'll either succeed or I'll learn trying

[iceclew]

Did I accidently write more than just a few lines of dialogue for this scene?... *shyly fumbling with fingers* 🥹👉👈 maybe...

Sorry, I suck at words and this isn't betaread nor properly proofread and I am not native english, I'm very sorry in advance...

full story down below

(Chappel Roan - Love me Anyway)

(Benson Boone - Slow it Down)

"VICE-CAPTAIN!!!!"

The tiny moving plush-like thing in his hand apparently started screaming as well now.

"WHY ALWAYS MEEE!?!?"

What looked like the chibi mini-version of the Defence Force's biggest trump card, struggled to hold on his thumb, kicking around those little feet of his.

"Well, now I'm quite curious abut THAT story..."

"I CAN'T TURN BACK AND I AM T I N Y !!! (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )"

"I see that... How'd you even get in here?"

Tiny #8 stopped fidgeting a bit. Instead two unproportionally big round dark eyes goggled at him. It was undeniably adorable to look at. "Well after THIS happened, I couldn't grab my phone on the table anymore, so I ran around to find someone, but I figured Narumi and Kikoru would very likely take advantage of my situation and do something stupid with me."

"Oh yeah, they definitely would and I get why, honestly."

"So I ran around to find you, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW BIG THE 1st DIVISION IS, WHEN YOU'RE LIKE THIS, OK?! And then I saw the slightly opened window and just crawled in... ༼☯﹏☯༽"

"Wait... you know where my temporary place in the 1st Division is located? Why?"

"....Coincidence? (*ﾟｰﾟ) "

He sighed. "Well just when you think you saw everything...Kafka Hibino enters the stage..."

"SIR, WHAT SHOULD I DO?? WHY ARE THESE THINGS ALWAYS HAPPENING TO ME??"

"you really want me to answer that, bud?", he barely tried to hide the undertone of his voice, which left the small creature on the palm of his hand baffled for a second.

"Wha-? HEY, MEAN!! What are you on about!?"（＞д＜）

"Yeah, maybe, I don't know STOP CHANGING in general, like I told you f.ex.. or maybe stick to your training routine without going OVERBOARD on a regular basis? How 'bout that?"

The big dark round eyes got even bigger with every word spoken.

"Yeah, don't look at me like that, I might coincidently got wind of stuff, you know?"

His unexpectedly open and emotional response threw Kafka off. For a second he forgot about his *tiny* main problem, his mind jumped between confused and worried and he couldn't comprehend with his reaction for now. After some awkward seconds in silence, Hoshina's tone grew significantly calmer, but still sort of off to his usual self-assured expression. "Well at least this time you're actually telling me about stuff that bothers you, huh?"

Silence again. While hanging from the palm of his Vice-Captain's hand Kafka realized something (besides his size) was different. His senses grew more aware of his surroundings to find answers.

"Are... are you drunk, sir?"

Besides the slight scent of alcohol in the air, and the - well quite obvious - bottle of sake on the table, the startled twitch on his face confirmed Kafka's guess was right. Other than the sake the only other thing on the table were some snacks. Another odd thing to Kafka, who was used to see Hoshina's surroundings stuffed with documents, loose papers, books and other work related things.

The silence lingered around them uncomfortably. To Kafka's suprise Hoshina was seemingly struggling with words. A look on his face Kafka couldn't remember seeing before. Now his mind definitely jumped to 'worried'.

Hoshina tried to mimic an insulted face and looked away. "A little tippsy at most... I'm off-duty for tonight.." Besides the slightly blushed nose and cheeks, Kafka now noticed some dark circles under red eyes. "..and despite my gut telling me better, I assumed I probably won't be needed anymore today, and that I could hang loose a little. It's not my Division after all, there's another Captain and Vice-Captain in charge here. So I might as well make use of that chance... Should have known, it would end up that way or another.. " He smiled a bit and Kafkas felt like his heart clenching from the sight. "Although I definitely should have placed my bet on YOU to be the reason for that." He chuckled lightly, while his expressions grew somewhat softer.

"I'm sorry, Sir."

"Nah, it's fine. As if I didn't get used to your-"

"I never put much thought to it, but ever since the Defence Force started preparing for the big counter attack on #9 your workload must've at least doubled in the 3rd and 1st Division.. and here I am still taking over the rest of your time as well..."

"Don't like where this is going, officer... You're not starting pitying me, are ya?"

"No I-...I just feel like.. I didn't realize, and there for not appreciated your work enough.." Silence. "And also.." The tiny kaiju had his look glued to the floor in front of him for a while now. "I know you told me to brush it off earlier but,... I truly regret ... not telling you about... #8 n'stuff.. I'm sorry... I'd change that if I could.."

A small plushy-sized Kaiju was gently put back on the ground again. Hoshina scratched his nose for a second, before bending far back to the other side of the room. He grabbed for his smartphone that was burried in piles of carelessly pushed aside documents.

"As I said. You're here now, aren't ya?" When he got his phone he chose to stay laid down on the floor and started typing something on the lightened screen.

A tiny transformed Kafka carefully made his way around and walked up on eye-level with Hoshina's face again. Once again overwhelmed by his current state of being, he let himself fall back on the floor and sat on the ground. "So... what should I do?"

"The first thing WE do is trying to make some calls. But since you seem to be in no life-threatening condition, we might have to wait 'till tomorrow for a first medical examination. If that's the case you'll stay, and I get you down to the lab first thing in the morning."

"Wait!" The tiny Kaiju made a suprisingly far jump right up to Hoshina's chest and pressed the (for him very big) red hang-up button on the screen with both paws. "You're right about that, I won't die this second from being tiny, so we might as well wait for tomorrow."

The questioning look on the opposite's face made a tiny Kafka look away and scratch his neck shyly. "Well, since you're ... I dunno,... I feel like, I can't have you be seen d-dru- .. like this by other officials of the 1st Division, b-because of me..."

A finger poked his forehead, which caused a tiny being like him to fall right back landing on warm soft fabric of Hoshina's shirt.

"Idiot. But you might be right about that."

[buckevantommy]

tommy being attentive af when buck gets in factoid mode is soooo special to me. adhd boy is excited to learn! but also to share what he's learned - and with the people he cares about or is getting to know, it's a way of letting himself be known and to (hopefully) connect with them in a fun way; it's like a test, seeing who not only acknowledges buck's fun facts but responds to them and moreover engages in conversation about them. buck deserves a partner who's interested in what he has to say (even if they're not as enthralled by the fun facts themselves they're still actively listening to buck ramble bc they want to know him and spend time with him but they also find it endearing af). tommy pays attention, he engages, he's interested, he's so fond of the way buck's mind works and smitten with the way he lights up when he's sharing and responding to being heard. with tommy, buck feels seen and he feels like he can just be his earnest self - fun facts included - and his company will be enough.

[elviraaxen]

I'm probably not the first to admit this but goddamn was I a narcissistic prick when I wasn't on stimulants

[prince-liest]

Omg wait I didn’t know Lucifer has ADHD?? Is that more of a headcanon? I mean regardless I’m very much on board lol

Now that I’m thinking about it though, are there any headcanons for Hazbin hotel (or helluva boss) characters you enjoy??

The depression is presumably canon per his dialogue, the ADHD comment I made is definitely just a headcanon. It's just a possible interpretation for the way he kind of seems to dissociate! There's a really awesome headcanon post about that that I like to rec here!

Also I'm ngl I think I have collected quite a number of headcanons over time so I'd be happy to answer more specific things, haha, but just in general that is a question that would take waaaay too much time to answer. x)

[ofmdee]

🍒

[petrow1tch]

They weren't lying, this psychological recovery journey got hands

[happyk44]

So this post I tagged w/ npd!Annabeth just popped out of the queue and as I'm rereading it, I'm laughing to myself because wasn't there some official post from Annabeth's POV being shocked and annoyed that Percy has better grades than her. Even though Percy has gone to school every year consistently (save for that gap year he was in a coma) and also has a teacher for a step-father, while she was presumably being "homeschooled" at camp where she would be able to prioritize her interests (architecture and mythology) over stuff she could care less about, like biology.

[halogalopaghost]

[synthaphone]

so umm why can't you just use pokemon home 😂

oh i use pokemon HOME, lol. the thing is that i use it so often that ive identified a bunch of problems with it that drive me nuts!!!

ive listed a bunch of my issues on here before, but a big one is: im currently trying to put ribbons on a bunch of my old favorite pokemon, but you can only see what ribbons a pokemon has from the mobile app version of HOME.

so to know who still needs what ribbons, i’d have to boot up the mobile version, check which pokemon have which ribbons, and write their names and what ribbons they’re missing down- so that when i close the mobile app and open the switch app (you cant have both open simultaneously), i can remember which guys i need to move where. now with the spreadsheet, i can filter by ‘Sentimental’ (my category for my favorite individual pokemon) and ‘Pokemon that dont have the Paldea Champion Ribbon’ and be presented with a list of who is missing that ribbon

but also, im collecting info about pokemon i still have in earlier games, because i kept having moments where i’d go ‘what happened to DODE, the Dodrio that my best friend caught when she was 8 years old and then traded to me when we were in middle school?’ and have to start booting up all of my different carts across multiple generations. so why not make a comprehensive directory that spans across all of my games, that i can update to show which game a pokemon currently resides in?

also i just love making elaborate spreadsheets and being able to sort and filter data- its fun for me to be able to see all of the different species i have in Moon balls, or tag pokemon that i received from friends with notes about what i remember, and not have to worry about those tags being lost if i ever move one of those pokemon from HOME to a game (this is how the tagging system included with HOME works lol. i tried to use it! i made a bunch of tags and dutifully tagged almost all the pokemon stored in my HOME, only to find out later that if i moved one to a game and then put it back later, all the tags would be Gone and id have to reapply them all. super irritating!!)

oh another reason i just remembered- i will never remember the hidden ability for every pokemon species, and HOME doesnt have any special indicator if a pokemons ability is its hidden one. on my spreadsheet, i added a column where i can check off a box if a pokemon has its HA, in addition to the column that lists the name of the ability.

[blue-banditt]

does anyone else have to take like ten million breaks throughout the day?? Like I gotta do it every 30-45 minutes otherwise I can't function. It's not even voluntary I just start spacing out or get distracted. Fuck maybe I actually do have ADHD

[puppyeared]

adhd comix

[jeremiahthefroge]

Every appearance of the red-haired menace that is early Laurence forces me to sit here and stew upon how I will fix his introduction in the rewrite. As a coping mechanism. Unfortunately since I can't remember the parts where his character isn't just harassment so I can't cook with the themes the way I'd like to. Like the way he calls Aph "my love" after she very explicitly in the text of the game tells him not to do that... bad vibes. I think I could rock with his character if he'd done the same sort of approach in hitting on Aphmau as heavily, but the moment she lays down an actual boundary, he backs way the hell off. I could even fuck with her trying to be subtle about the boundary and him not getting it and continuing to make her uncomfortable before she snaps at him and he apologizes, saying that he truly didn't mean anything by it, and he respects the boundary she lays like his life depends on it from then on out. It would create some immediate complexity in his need for explicit communication, and backs up the sort of deeper character hinting they seem to try to do when he's talking about Castor and Cadenza, this idea that he deeply cares, if being a bit pushy on accident. It would also make a good detail fueling the conflicts later on with the love triangle that can sort of prevent Laurence from looking like TOO much of a dickhead (him being unaware or misinterpreting situations, and the delicate nature of it making him uncomfortable asking questions, is a compelling reason to see somebody hurting his friends' feelings, and makes him significantly more sympathetic, opening him up for feelings of remorse and guilt).