#i feel like i may be more or less equipped to start working on a more serious project nyaow though?
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hiyari8 · 4 months ago
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quickish practice covar featuring lily the animove from vocaloid
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anothermonikan · 2 months ago
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i have come to the conclusion that I'm not even lonely, like, I knew that I'm surrounded by friends every day. I am however, the neediest fucker alive, and feel it's unfair to push that on other people. god it's just 'Having wants and needs and hating it' again. can you believe this shit.
#the attention can't be on me all the time cmon. I am not The Most Important person in anyone's life#that concept is so dumb and amatonormative a lil. well to me#the problem lies in that other people probably. have that. I desire to be considered important in that way and I must KILL THAT!!!#idk how effective yelling to myself that 'my friends can have other friends that they do activities with that don't involve me'#'this does not mean they value you less as a being than them. different people have different qualities'#'and some people may be more equipped to handle certain tasks than you' is being#it feels so dumb like yes i'm not 12 years old jesus I know that#i have GOT to find a better affirmation.#you see I could just tell my friends that I actually have high positive affirmation needs#and actually like when they affirm that they do like me and like hanging out with me#and I actually need that so so often otherwise I start going insane#but like. that's not Fair on them. also it'd just feel like they're forcing it from that point on#...even tho if one of my friends told me that I would do it no hesitation fullheartingly#it's like. it's always gonna feel like the people around me are just barely tolerating my existence.#no matter how much I reason with myself about how that can't possibility be true. sigh#I can't have needs I'll defo get made fun of sdhsdhsdh#one day I will get so so brave (or drunk) and do it. but that day is not today#or anytime in the next like 2 weeks I have work to do#vent#a lil bit#android.txt
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thehouseofurmotha · 6 months ago
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Shinsou dating Aizawa's daughter head cannons :)
Pairing: Shinsou x Aizawa!Reader
I'm also working on a soulmate au with Shinsou 🤭 I fear he may be my favorite
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• You and him meet when Aizawa asks you to spar with him, as you both have quirks that are less equipped for close range combat. You're in class 1-A too which is the class Shinsou would most likely join when he ends up in the hero course so it just made sense.
• You whoop his ass, he's immediately in love. He thinks you're extremely skilled and talented and pretty much begs you to help train him with your dad.
• Maybe it's because he wants to see you more often, but you don't need to know that.
• You ultimately agree and you and Shinsou pretty muuuuch become besties.
• But this is not enough for this man because he is absolutely enamored with you.
• One day while the two of you are sparing, your father leaves to go get another cup of coffee. And at this point he finally manages to pin you to the ground.
• For whatever reason he decides this is the best time to shoot his shot and is like, "Go on a date with me?" While he's just casually got you pinned to the ground.
• You don't manage to give him an answer before your dad gets back, but after you get up and brush yourself off you look at him and mouth a simple 'yes'.
• He smiles like a madman at this and your father looks at him and asks him what he's smiling about. He quickly goes back to his normal tired resting face with a quick nothing.
• Aizawa def thinks this is weird but he decides not to press any father. He feels bad pressing kids to tell him something they don't really have to.
• You guys go on a few dates before you officially start dating. Your father definitely notices that something about the two of you has changed but he doesn't realize that it has to do with the two of you being together.
• He finds out when he walks into your room while you and Shinsou were supposed to be just hanging out and watching a movie. Which he didn't find odd because the two of you had become fast friends with the friendly competition of sparring. But as he walks into your room to ask the two of you want for dinner he finds the two of you making out.
• He IMMEDIATELY kicks Shinsou out of your guys apartment. He isn't really mad that you guys are together he's just mad that you hid it from him and he had to find out like this.
• You guys have a very long conversation about being safe, and he definitely calls Midnight to handle most of it because he thinks he might just simply pass out from embarrassment. (You as well)
• He tells you he doesn't really care as long as you're happy. But this man does not let Shinsou live it down.
• Bro is fighting for his life during training the next day being worked so hard.
• Shinsou eventually gets back on your dad's good side and he comes over for weekly dinners.
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I fear I may have an obsession with dadzawa.. and Shinsou.. I'm simply js a girl though. Anyways I hope you enjoyed :) <3 happy reading!
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batmanisagatewaydrug · 8 months ago
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idk if this is a sex ed question, or if you're the right person to ask, sorry, but do you have any reputable sources about what testosterone *actually* does?
i see people saying it limits your emotions, that it gives you breast cancer, that it makes you malnourished, its a second more dangerous puberty, etc, and I'd like to think im good at picking out lies, but there's a lot of stuff that sounds like bullshit coming from blogs i thought were trustworthy.
if not, all good, thank you in advance!
hi anon,
I'm really glad you sent this ask, because this kind of scaremongering misinformation is deeply upsetting and I'm so happy to provide a better information.
there are tons of reputable sources as to what testosterone does; some that I'll be pulling from in this answer include Cleveland Clinic, Harvard Medical School, University of California San Francisco, Mayo Clinic, the Society for Endocrinology, and Planned Parenthood.
so, what's up testosterone?
testosterone is a hormone produced in everyone's bodies, either in the testes or the ovaries depending on which set of equipment you're working with. all bodies produce both estrogen and testosterone, usually in different levels. regardless of the genitalia you were born with, how you understand your gender, or what levels of testosterone you have in your body, testosterone affects things like your sex drive, your hair growth, muscle and bone density, and the production of red blood cells.
in people born with testes, puberty usually comes with an increase in testosterone that kicks off changes such as growth of the penis and testicles, the production of sperm, an increase in hair growth all over the body, deepening of the voice, greater production of oil on the skin, and an increase in height, weight, and muscle mass.
either an overabundance or a deficit of testosterone can have health complications, just as having more or less of any hormone that a body needs can cause complications.
people who choose to transition by taking testosterone will experience many similar effects as cisgender men going through puberty, including the increase in body hair, skin oils, and muscle mass, as well as a deepening voice. while people on testosterone are unlikely to experience significant growth in terms of height unless they start hormone replacement therapy (HRT) at a fairly young age, testosterone does frequently cause a redistribution of fat on their bodies to be more similar to that of cisgender men. bottom growth, the increased size and sensitivity of the clitoris to more closely resemble a penis, is also common; the clitoris and the penis are homologous structures (they're made out of the same goo when embryos start developing genitalia), hence why they react similarly to testosterone.
to address your specific concerns:
testosterone does not limit the range of a person's emotions. while it may impact a person's mood and the severity of their feelings, the same is true of any hormone - for instance, people also report mood changes when they take antidepressants or birth control. the sometimes drastic mood fluctuations experienced during puberty are not tied to a specific hormone; this is a turbulent time regardless of what hormones your body is producing the most. testosterone is stereotyped as making people angry and violent, but all people are people regardless of their biology and are shaped by much more than the hormones in their body.
while cisgender men and trans people on testosterone can both get breast cancer, testosterone does not pose any particular risk. several of the sources linked about don't find any significant link between taking testosterone HRT and an increased risk of breast cancer, reporting that transgender individuals who take testosterone are not at any particularly higher risk of developing breast cancer than cisgender women. for more detailed information about potential health problems affiliated with taking testosterone, I recommend the "Risks" section of the linked UCSF document. yes, there are health risks affiliated with taking testosterone; this is true of literally any medication and, more importantly, is also true of just being a person with any kind of hormones in your body. cis men and women also have health conditions affiliated with being cis men and cis women, this is the price of admission for having a human body. nobody gets out unscathed.
there is no evidence that testosterone causes someone to become malnourished. people undergoing a testosterone-based puberty, whether they're cis or trans, are likely to experience a great deal of growth and bodily changes that will use a great deal of calories, which means they may be hungry and need more food than they did previously. this is a normal effect of puberty on a body, and is only a risk for malnourishment if a person isn't able to eat in sufficient amounts to keep their body properly nourished.
there is nothing about a testosterone-based puberty that is "more dangerous" than an estrogen-based puberty, which is what I assume is the point of comparison. puberty is a completely natural process that does not pose any significant dangers unless you want to be a real dipshit about it and pull some shit like "puberty is dangerous because you grow breast tissue and then you're at risk for breast cancer," in which case sure, great job, Sherlock. you solved it, puberty is cancelled forever. I cannot emphasize enough how stupid this is, conceptually; roughly half the human population goes through this kind of puberty every day and they're fucking fine. puberty by itself is not a risk factor of anything.
I don't know what particular interest the blogs you've been following have in making testosterone-based puberty sound like it's going to turn you into an emotionally stunted skeleton with breast cancer, although I fear it's transphobia hidden unsubtly behind concern trolling and disdain for cisgender men.
if you're interested in taking testosterone and are concerned about the changes you might see in your body please, for the love of god, consult with reputable health resources and a doctor rather than whatever nematode is posting about testosterone ruining your life.
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crowhyun · 2 months ago
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gym rat taehyun who you end us seeing frequently at the gym whenever you’re around too and he starts helping you out on some of the stuff and sexual tension and then BAM, sex
a/n: I haven't written smut in so long so please bare with me 😭 I'm trying to get back into the groove of it but I've kinda lost confidence though I hope that doesn't show in my works lol. I hope you enjoy this, anon, and thank you for requesting!!
Warnings: smut, pnv, exhibitionism, unprotected sex but hyun's pull out game is top tier, I would know
WC: 1.8k
The gym a few blocks away from your apartment was always too crowded for your taste. Midday was the worst, with every piece of equipment occupied, and the ones that weren't were a sweaty mess due to peoples' lack of politeness.
Though, around 10PM was always the best time to go. It was much less crowded, and it was almost calming, in a way.
You, along with a few other late night gym rats, took this time to your advantage. The gym was nearly empty, and hip-hop music played quietly from the speakers. The sound of equipment moving and barbells clanking was miniscule compared to how it usually was.
Though, you'd be lying to yourself if you said that that was the only reason you came to the gym at that time.
Your other reason - your main reason - was currently at the pull-up bar, biceps bulging and sweat dripping down his clear skin as he effortlessly hoisted himself up on the bar. You were quite familiar with this man, or at least as familiar as you could get from afar. Without fail, he'd always be at the gym at this time, always alone, and ever so efficient in his workouts.
You tried not to stare as you leisurely stretched. You weren't in the mood for heavy lifting or cardio, yet you were fully intent on boy watching.
After what seemed like over a dozen pull-ups, the man hopped down from the bar, turning around with a hand on his hip to grab his towel, and you quickly looked away to not get caught ogling. To look busy, you continued with your stretching, doing basic stretches to pass the time. You were so distracted trying to look busy that you hadn't even noticed a certain someone approaching until you heard his voice.
"Your form isn't good." He said, causing you to flinch and sir upright, staring right at the man who was sipping from his water bottle.
Is he talking to me?, you thought. Though, he was obvious who he was talking to, due to his large brown eyes seemingly piercing into your soul. "...huh?" Was all that you could muster out.
"Sorry." He apologized, screwing his water bottle shut. "I don't mean to bother you, but I just thought that I should tell you that your form isn't very good. You might hurt yourself."
Your lips went into an O-shape as you realized what he was saying, and you couldn't help but feel embarrassed. You fully expected him to just walk away after that, but he spoke once more.
"I can help with some stretches if you'd like." He said. "I'm no personal trainer, but I know a thing or two."
"Oh...you'd do that?" You asked, trying to keep your voice steady as you inwardly fangirled, knowing that this was the perfect opportunity to get closer to the man you've been crushing on.
"Yeah, of course." He nodded, placing his water bottle down and coming closer, your heart beating a mile a minute. He gave you a sweet smile before he bent down to your level, and you got a close up look at his sweaty skin and well built arms, causing you to shiver in anticipation.
"See, when you're doing lunge stretches, you have to make sure your back is flat and your core is engaged so that you can keep your balance." He said, his voice soft, though the near emptiness of the gym made it seem as if he were loud and clear. He got into position beside you, showing off the proper way to stretch, and you followed suit.
Throught the stretches, you had learned that his name was Taehyun, and he was pretty flexible himself. You may have even purposefully made yourself seem incompetent in your stretches so that he wouldn't leave anytime soon. It was getting later and later, but you didn't want to go home - not yet.
"Hamstring stretches are a bit harder, as most people don't stretch for long enough." He informed you, gently pushing you onto your back. "How flexible are you?" He asked, helping you to hike your leg up. You were hyper aware of the feeling of his strong hands on you, and the change of position nearly made you dizzy.
"Uh, maybe moderately?" You spoke, clearing your throat in an effort to sound like your panties weren't starting to get damp.
"Moderately?" He chuckled with a slight tilt to his head. "We'll see about that then, yeah? Just tell me when it's too much." He said, his hand circling around your calf as he started to slowly push your leg up...up...and up.
You winced a bit, the stretch starting to get painful, but you were too distracted by how he placed his other hand right on your thigh.
"There you go." He encouraged, your leg straight up and pushed against his shoulder as he kneeled down in front of you. "How're you feeling? Think you can go a bit more?"
"I can definitely feel the stretch." You chuckled, your heartrate beating a mile a minute. "I think I can go further, though."
With that, he started to slowly push your leg up once more, your thigh almost touching your chest. "Hmm, you're pretty flexible, aren't you?" He spoke, and you don't know if it's the rising desire within you or not, but his voice was starting to sound more...intimate.
"I didn't...I didn't realize before now." You said, finding it hard to breathe.
"Good thing you have me here then, huh?" He smirked, the sight making your walls clench around nothing. He then started to slowly lower your leg before doing the same to the other one. Your breath hitched at the stretch, and you winced.
"Fuck..." You whispered, unable to keep it in.
"Just a bit more, you got it." He said, his whisper matching yours as he stretched you further. His torso pressed against your leg, and you couldn't help yourself from taking a peek down between your legs. Truthfully, you just wanted to make sure you didn't completely soak through your leggings, but instead, you got a glimpse of what Taehyun was packing. The dim light of the gym reflected on the bulge in his gym shorts, and you literally felt your heart beat in your clit.
You quickly looked back up, eyes slightly widening, just to see that he was making eye contact with you. There was a certain gleam in his eyes that told you that he knew exactly what you were looking at.
If that didn't tell you enough, then his next actions did.
Stretching your leg so that your thigh met your chest, he positioned himself so that he was pressing up against you, and your breath hitched once you felt his bulge directly press against your clothed heat.
Shit...he's so close.
"There you go..." He said, his voice dangerously lustful. "Now you're all stretched out for me."
You weren't exactly sure when the switch flipped, and at this point, you didn't care if you were soaking through your leggings or not. You weren't crazy, his voice definitely held some underlying tension there, and neither of you could hide from it.
"Now that you're all stretched out, you can work out safely, no matter how hard."
Next thing you know, your leggings were hanging off of one leg, and your panties were pushed to the side to accommodate for how Taehyun's girth was stretching you out in a completely different way.
Sweat dripped down the strands of his wet hair, and your leg was hiked up on his shoulder, ensuring that you had no way to hide from just how deliciously he was rocking his hips into yours.
It was a caconaphy of hushed moans, grunts and whimpers, the sounds of your bodies colliding. You but your lip harshly to try and silence yourself even though you were pretty sure the gym was empty at this time. Taehyun's cock ruthlessly massaged your g-spot with each thrust, and he groaned in ecstacy as your nails dug into his arms in order to brace yourself.
"Ah- ah- ah-" Staccato moans left your lips as your body jerked each time his tip slammed against that spot within you, his pelvis hitting your clit over and over again.
"Fuck, you're so tight." He groaned, his brows furrowed in concentration, solely focused on fucking you dumb on his cock.
A loud keen ripped from your throat as he slightly adjusted his positioning, his cock hitting so deep inside your fluttering walls. Your hips bucked up and your other leg lifted, the urge to close your legs and run away from the numbing pleasure growing greater.
"Nuh-uh." Taehyun tsked, shaking his head as he roughly spread your legs, his cock pushing deeper inside of you. "C'mon, you can take it. Take this cock." He grunted, gifting you with a particularly harsh thrust that had you reeling.
Your head fell back on the mat underneath you and your thighs shook. You could feel his cock throb inside of you, his low grunts only driving you closer to the edge. You then gasped loudly, your jaw dropping and your body tensing.
"C-cumming, I'm cum-" You stammered out, only to cut yourself off with a high pitched moan that would've been impossible for you to keep in. Your pussy walls clamped around Taehyun's thick shaft like a vice, and he felt like he was seconds away from absolutely losing it at the way your fucked out face contorted into barely concealed pleasure as you creamed all around his cock.
He wrapped his hands around your wrists, holding you down as he pumped faster, his balls tightening as he saw completion on the horizon. "Mmmh, that's it...cum on my cock just like- hah- that." He groaned, his jaw clenching as his blunt nails dug into your wrists, and before he knew it, he couldn't take anymore.
He was quick to pull out of your tight heat, which was almost painful, but that no longer mattered to him, because his hot, thick cum was spurting out of his glistening cock and onto your stomach. The hottest whine left his throat as he came down from his high, his chest heaving up and down, and his eyes darting down to your fucked out form.
A few minutes of comfortable silence passed, the only sound being the low volume of the music playing through the gym speakers and the sound of the both of you catching your breaths.
"Well, uhm..." He suddenly spoke, clearing his throat. You noticed that he was avoiding eye contact, and the tips of his ears were tinted red.
Was he...embarrassed?
You fought the urge to laugh as he continued.
"If you just, uh...do those stretches before every workout, you should be good to go." He said, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Thanks..." You spoke, your voice a bit hoarse. "For helping me stretch...and for the little present you gave me." You said, referring to his seed that was splattered across your stomach, seeping down to your belly button.
His eyes widened and he choked, almost as if he forgot that he had came on you.
"I'll...deal with that."
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marchofmistria · 2 months ago
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Hi, I saw that your requests were open and I was wondering if you could make HC for when the farmer comes home all wrecked after a day at the mines (both bachelors and bachelorettes, if thats ok)
Hi there, thank you for sending :) Super fun to write for the bachelorettes as well as the bachelors <3 I'm writing these as established relationship HCs!
March
March can't help but worry about you each time you go to the times, no matter how nonchalant he tries to act or how many times he tells himself that you've been fine each time before.
Before you go, he'll always lecture you a bit and tell you to be careful (even though, he feels, this lecture goes ignored every time).
Without you asking, he'll spend time forging armor and swords that are strong and can provide a great deal of protection. You're clearly grateful for it, and it gives him peace of mind that you're wearing something he made so he's sure the quality is as good as possible.
If you're not back by a certain time, he'll go looking for you himself (even when, most of the time you're just fine).
The anxiety isn't totally unwarranted. There was a time once where he found you passed out in the mines, badly injured and attracting attention from monsters even in your unconscious state. He carried you all the way to Valen and had trouble sleeping for a day or two afterwards, even though Valen revived you no problem.
Sometimes March will insist on accompanying you from the start, claiming that he doesn't trust you to protect himself. You know not to take this as a blow to your defensive skills, but rather as proof of his deep love and care for you.
On the days you come home tired, he'll order you to go rest in bed and will wordlessly take care of you, whether that means cooking you dinner or washing off your sore body in the bath. He'll act annoyed, but you know that he doesn't mind at all taking care of you.
Ryis
Ryis worries about you when you spend late nights in the mines, but is also completely confident in your defensive skills. He knows that you're very strong, perhaps stronger than he would be down there.
He'd insist, however, that you pack food with you in case you grow exhausted down there.
He'd also make sure that you're wearing the best protection you could be. He'd probably call in a favor or two from March to give you the best equipment money could buy, just as an extra precaution.
He's always very excited and grateful when you bring home a trove of material or fascinating objects from your time down in the mines. He'd be interested to learn about all the materials that occur naturally down below, as well as the animal (monster) life living down there. Especially as Ryis would probably have little interest in going down there himself.
Ryis is less of a worrier than some others may be, but he'd definitely insist you be home by a certain time just so he could have total peace of mind and so that you two could spend the night together.
He'd definitely pamper you when you've had an exhausting day, whether that be from your time in the mines or from any other tasks you've had to complete throughout the day.
His care for you would definitely include nightly massages of your sore muscles. His idea of a perfect night is spent together in the bath with you, and then hanging out late into the night working on something relaxing like birdhouses, or even watching a movie together before falling asleep.
Hayden
One of the things Hayden loves and respects about you is your strength. He has plenty of it too, but is always deeply impressed by your ability to balance your work on the farm with your exploration of the mines.
He encourages your interests, and wants to give you as much time as possible to explore if that's what you feel like doing that day. He shows this encouragement by offering to take care of things on the farm on days when you want to go mining.
He hopes that'll take away some of your exhaustion, and he's more than happy to take care of you in that way. Any extra time spent with your animals is a happy day for him!
Hayden would care to make sure you're eating well before you go expending all that energy. He'll make lots of delicious food straight from the produce you've grown from the farm, and from the products donated by your animals.
Hayden wouldn't worry too much about your exploration in the mines, seeing how strong you are and how well you can handle yourself. He's just ready to get you home by the end of the night.
Hayden helps you recover by making sure you're well fed and well rested each day, without exception. If that means letting you sleep in a bit longer the next day and taking some of the load off your shoulders, he does it without a second thought.
Seeing his smiling face when you get home from a long day is enough to replenish some of your energy instantly. All Hayden cares about is that you're enjoying your days to the fullest in Mistria.
Balor
At first, Balor is more than supportive of your journeys down to the mines. After all, that's where you can find the rarest and most lucrative things for him to pawn off in the Capital!
It's also where you found a majority of the gifts that won his heart in the first place. It seemed like you were the only other person who appreciated these rare items to the same level he did, and he got so excited talking about it with you.
But once your relationship gets serious and progresses farther than just a business partnership, he starts to hate the days when you go down to the mines.
You always come back all scratched up and often injured, although usually not severely. Even so, he can't help but worry himself silly.
Yes, he's still excited when you come and happily show him all the wonderful things you've uncovered there that day. But he sure does wish there was another way to go about it.
He tries to persuade you to stop going down there, much to your surprise at first. You thought that he lived for these incredible finds. But he tells you that seeing you hurt isn't worth any amount of money.
He pays March a hefty sum to make you the best equipment and stocks you up with food each time you go. He can never get to sleep until he knows you're back home safe and have had your injuries healed.
He'll spend the rest of the night checking you to make sure you're really okay, and pampering you in every way possible. He wants you to know how grateful he is that you put yourself in danger on behalf of your mutual financial wellbeing. And he'll always have a special gift for you as an extra thank you.
Eiland
One thing that Eiland loves about you is your shared interest in all things archeological. The idea that there was someone as excited as him to explore the mysteries of the minds makes him deeply happy.
In fact, he's so excited and eager to find out what's down there that he doesn't really think of the extent of the danger. To be fair, he doesn't know that the mines are infected with a slew of monsters until you tell him.
When you first start returning to him after a day in the mines, you can spend hours discussing what you saw down there and going through all the evidence and artifacts you came across. Because you're equally excited as he is, he doesn't notice at first that you've injured yourself.
It's only after he sees you wincing in pain that he questions what happened, and then he feels terrible that he didn't notice it at first! When you confess to him all that's living down there, he instantly says that the mines must be closed off again.
Yes, he is deeply interested in what can be found down there. But the safety of the residents of Mistria are paramount. And you, as the person he cares about most in the world, take priority above all of that.
He feels a bit more reassured when you tell him that closing the mines is out of the question, that your injuries are not severe at all, and that on the contrary you absolutely love going down there. He's excited too, but just much more weary about your adventures now.
He'll stay late at the museum on nights when you decide to go into the mines, ready to meet you first thing once you exit. He has bottles of tonic to help you heal ready, as well as scores of delicious desserts to eat while talking over what you found that day. He's super eager, but will always prioritize your health over all else.
Valen
Valen doesn't stop being your doctor when she becomes your partner, and your health and safety are always her first priority. She knows she's not supposed to have any biases towards certain patients, but how could she not when she loves you so much?
Because of this, she really attempts to insist you stop going down to the mines. She knows that you find it fun and interesting, but she still doesn't fully understand. You make very decent money between the two of you, so it's not because of that.
She truly finds it difficult to understand why you don't prioritize your own health, especially with someone who worries so much about you waiting for you. But after discussing it, she concedes that she must let you enjoy your own interests and be there to support however she can.
You do agree to compromise on not staying out too late, as she cannot sleep at all until you're back home safe and your injuries are all tended to. Before you go, she prepares strong concoctions with her panacea to heal up most of your injuries instantly as soon as you're home.
On one occasion, when your injuries weren't mild and you had to stay overnight in the doctor's office, she didn't sleep a wink with worry for you. Even though she rationally understood that you'd be just fine in a few days, and of course trusted her own skills in taking care of you, her concern for you is overwhelming.
Most times, however, you're just fine and she's at home lovingly waiting for your return. She'll feed you a healthy dinner and run you a bath with salts to help soothe your aching muscles.
She'll always pack tonics to take with you as well, free of charge of course. You're incredibly grateful to have such a caring partner.
Juniper
Juniper tries really hard to act like she doesn't care what you're doing all day. She's still getting used to the idea of having a partner and showing vulnerability and care towards them.
She does care, really. It hurts her ego a tiny bit when she concedes to the fact that she does care. But at the same time, she can't do well at hiding her worry when you come home injured.
When you come back from the minds and show her everything you found, her interest is piqued. You consider it an enormous accomplishment the first time you gift her a crystal rose you found on one of the lower floors, telling her that she was the first thing you thought of when you saw the flower for the first time, and see her actually blush.
She can't even pretend to act proud at your "tribute." She's genuinely happy and flustered, and you consider that a win.
When you do come home hurt, she'll silently bring you into the bath house. Undressing you and then herself, she'll climb into the bath with you for a long soak.
That may include a massage as well, if you've caught her in a good mood or won her over that day with your gestures of affection via gifts from the mines. You can really get her if you tell her that you put yourself in harms way for her. She loves to feel like you put a lot of thought into her happiness.
She's not unaccustomed to flattery or worship, sure. But the real love, devotion, and attention she feels from you is new. And she's going to take steps to make sure the feeling is mutual.
Reina
Reina admires how strong you are, and how self-sufficient. But at the end of the day, she's still a big sister and being caring is her defining quality. She can't help but worry when you put yourself in danger.
She doesn't try to talk you out of it. She knows that there's no use in that. But she will do whatever she can to make your endeavors as safe as possible.
She insists of filling your bag with as much delicious food as you can carry without becoming over-encumbered. She'll cook all your favorites so you'll be more inclined to eat them as soon as your energy starts to wane in the mines.
You can always expect the same when you get back to her as well. She doesn't take no for an answer when it comes to you eating properly, even when you tell her that you've already eaten all the delicious things she packed for you during your excursion.
After you're well-fed and warmed up, you two like to relax the rest of the evening by the warm fire of the Inn, talking into the night and even sharing a warm Hot Toddy if you really need to wind down.
She's always interested to hear about everything you do each day, especially including what you do in the mines. She finds it fascinating, especially as that sort of stuff doesn't usually appeal to her. She's more than happy to listen to your tales rather than go do those things herself.
She'll often share your stories and brag of your strength and bravery to everyone who will listen when patronizing the Inn. She's proud to have such a strong and fearless partner.
Adeline
Adeline is a worrier by nature. She needs to have things under control as much as possible, and the fact that her partner is so fearless can be a difficult adjustment for her.
She knows that she needs to let you have your own hobbies. She also knows that she invited you to Mistria as an adventurer, so she can't go back on her word now.
Even so, she wishes you'd do just a little less adventuring now that you've found a home in the village. She doesn't tell you this directly, but also can't hide how stressed she gets when you're down there and she doesn't know how you're faring.
She makes you promise to be back by a certain time each night, and is upset if you ever miss that curfew. She knows that she can't boss you around like that, but you're willing to oblige her knowing how much stress she's already balancing and how much she cares about your well-being.
She does know what it's like to have someone deeply interesting in exploring, and is happy that her brother has a friend to discuss these things with now. She engages in the conversation and does find it interesting, especially if you're the one telling about it rather than Eiland. You just have a much more... engaging way of talking on the subject.
One thing that she will agree with you on is that the items you're able to find in the mines can be helpful to some of the townsfolk around Mistria. Whenever someone needs an item that may be hard to obtain, she admires the fact that you're quick to jump in and help (even if that means putting yourself in harms way). She loves that about you.
As soon as you're back home, she's making sure that you're well-rested in the most comfortable home, with the most comfortable pajamas and all the luxuries she can afford. If you're injured, she's happy to go to any lengths to make sure you get everything you need. It's the least she can do to prove how much she cares for you.
Celine
Celine is always terrified whenever you tell her you're going down to the mines. She can't imagine facing all those scary monsters and risking getting hurt! The worry is apparent on her face every time.
She knows that you're strong and more than capable, but she's scared for you nonetheless. One of the few times you see her act sternly is when she makes you promise that you'll avoid trouble there as much as possible and be home at a reasonable time.
It doesn't help that Dell encourages you completely. Opposite of what would usually be expected, Celine is worried that Dell is a bad influence on you and spurs you on into danger.
Celine tries to be supportive, but is always ready to take care of you whenever you come home from a long day in the mines. Her cottage is stock piled with medicines from Valen, delicious food cooked either by herself or by Reina, and a warm bed for you to rest in.
She cannot lie, though. Whenever you bring her a new rare plant or flower from the mines, she is so excited that she nearly forgets her reservations.
She'll spend hours reading about the fauna in her Codex Mistria, taking precious care of this wonderful gift you've given her. Her appreciation is apparent, and this incredible gift is almost worth letting you go down to the mines.
In any case, she's always excited to have you back home and will go above and beyond in taking care of you when youi're exhausted or even hurt.
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martiansodas-blog · 3 months ago
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Art x reader meeting the readers parents and it's an absolute mess:(
(bonus points if he finds her old room and plays with her calico critters and plushies)
ok my brain automatically went to older! art soooo…
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your parents knew 2 things about your new boyfriend.
1- he’s successful.
and 2- he’s a couple years older than you.
a couple years is an understatement.
but you figured once they met him and saw how sweet he treated you it wouldn’t matter!
this did not turn out to be the case.
your mom and dad took one look at him and made a snap judgment.
they knew his type, (supposedly.)
old money. a younger girl on his arm. cold and aloof. power hungry.
it’s a shame. this couldn’t be farther from the truth.
art donaldson may be a weapon on the court, but behind closed doors he’s the little spoon who makes you heart shaped pancakes.
“so. where did the two of you meet?” your mother asks, more to be pleasant and less because she wants to know the answer.
“at work,” you said , fondly remembering the exchange, “he was-“
“heckling my daughter in the workplace?”
“mom.” you warn “no.”
“honey,” your dad reigns her in
she huffs and crosses her arms in defeat.
“i was needing some more tennis equipment, actually.” art chimes in,
“yeah he was looking for these fancy sweatbands but we didn’t carry any, we just sort of got to talking.”
your dad gave you both a soft smile
“well, you seem to make our little girl very happy.”
incoming call from: tashi
“speaking of little girl, that’s probably her saying goodnight. excuse me.”
art very politely stepped out onto the porch.
“he has a kid?” your mothers eyes looked like they could pop out of her head at any second. “honestly why on earth would you think this is a good idea?”
“yes he does and she’s very sweet. her names lily.” you said firmly.
“so what? you’re gonna be a stepmom in your early twenties? is that what you want?”
“i wanted to introduce the person i love to my parents. but obviously that was a bad idea.”
your dad ushers your mom into their bedroom. he gives you a apologetic glance before he closes the door.
you stood there, frozen in the entryway for an unknown amount of time. as long as it took for art to finish his call and rest his hands on your shoulders from behind.
“hey hey, what’s the matter? what happened?”
you didn’t realize you were crying until you started to speak. well, tried to speak anyway.
“they,” you sniffed, “she…i’m sorry,”
“oh honey,” he pulled you into a hug.
you buried your face in his toned chest.
“i should’ve known this would happen” you heaved, gripping his shirt.
“shh, shh it’s ok. this is most definitely not your fault.”
he stroked your back and pressed feather light kisses to your hairline until you calmed down. when you removed yourself there was a wet patch right in the middle of his torso.
“let’s go upstairs, yeah?” he suggested gently.
he was almost using his dad voice.
you nodded, grabbed his coarse hand and guided him up the steps.
“so this is your childhood bedroom?”
art took in the whimsy filled room. the ceiling was only about a foot taller than him.
“the one and only.” you managed to crack a smile.
it was just how you’d left it at 18. the walls were pink and green. a choice you’d made at 7 and never got around to changing.
you’re glad you never painted over it now, though. it makes you feel innocent again, like a time capsule you can walk into.
art strolled around the room. looking at drama club trophies that lined the bookshelf, the collection of calico critters and the photo booth films stuck on your mirror.
there was a good amount of dust on everything. it caused a pit in your stomach to open up.
“you ok?”
“yeah” you nodded, “just got a little carried away by nostalgia.”
art wasn’t sure if touch would be the right thing for you right now, so he opened his arms, giving you the option.
you hugged him without a second thought. like an instinct. you squeezed him with all your might, like a stress ball. art hardly felt it, though.
figures.
“meeting my family will go better. my grandmas already looking forward to it.”
you lifted your head to look at him.
“really?”
such a simple sentence gave you butterflies.
“yeah,” he chuckled, like it was obvious “i’ve told her all about you.”
you truly didn’t know what to say. so touched by the sincerity and excitement in his tone. it. it caused you to break into a smile, a real smile, for the first time since you’d got to your parents house.
“i’d like that very much.”
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natalyarose · 7 months ago
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𝒲𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒩𝑒𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝐻𝑒𝒶𝓇 - 𝓅𝒶𝒸 ♡
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as always, use discernment and remember you're in charge of your life, readings can be useful tools of guidance ♡ take a deep breath, pick one of the flowers in the image, asking yourself which you feel most drawn to (if any, don't force it!) & proceed to your reading below💕
♡ Yellow Flowers (ace of swords, justice, the three of swords)
Take action! You have clarity and a strong intention in regards to something in your life. Perhaps you have come to an understanding or received a piece of information that is allowing you be equipped in taking the 'next step', whatever that is for you at this time. For some of you this is a message that if there is currently an unfair situation in your life, you will come out on top with your dignity in tact. Even when it's tough, stay honest, true and precise in what you know & believe. You are someone who has strong convictions & intuitive insights, remember to keep your words and perceptions pure & unbiased to remain sharp.
Remember that having true knowledge and understanding requires having a fair mind- be mindful of getting 'tunnel vision' on topics that are close to your heart. For some, this pertains to you being hard on yourself and is a message that you need to be balanced in your self perception to truly make progress.
Another message is that if there's anything you know you need to speak up about, you are being encouraged to do so & to be brave! ♡ I'm once again, as I'm writing this being brought back to the message that you are coming out on top in something. There could be somebody who wronged/hurt you and that's being made right, or you've developed a newfound perspective that's giving you an internal sense of balance & healing. You may be getting justice of some kind for some immense pain or trauma you've endured- and again that justice could be an internal feeling/realisation.
♡ Pink Flower (eight of pentacles, the chariot, the empress)
You are working hard on something- it could be an artistic or academic project, career-related, anything. I see this as a message of encouragement to keep working on it and be proud of your work-in-progress. Whatever it is you're working on is soon going to open doors you've always dreamed of opening. I really see you almost 'levelling up' in life in due time as a result of your efforts. It may seem small right now, but your dedicated, humble work and consistency is going to lead to bigger things and an abundance of recognition, praise and status of some kind. Even if it feels like nobody is paying attention right now or everything seems so unrefined, the work you are putting in now will eventually grant you respect, admiration and potentially lead to a life with abundant financial prosperity & material beauty surrounding you.
I think there is also a message here surrounding allowing yourself and your skills to grow and evolve- remembering that you don't have to be everything you dream of being all at once, it's okay to be a work in progress and know that with time and dedication, you will grow. Time is on your side. Successful people weren't always the people you know them as now- they were once just starting out, with less resources and expertise. Trust that in time you will flourish in the same way!
If anyone who picked this group is working towards something beauty related- perhaps just manifesting feeling more beautiful and embodied- this is a sign that your actions towards refinement + attention to detail will be fruitful and lead to you feeling & presenting as beautiful as you deserve to feel!
♡ Red Flower (eight of wands, 5 of wands, 2 of cups)
There is a sense of good news or positive change in the air for you :) I get the sense that life is going to be getting a little more busy & chaotic for you, but in a good, fresh way. Divine protection can also be a theme for this group. Like your aura is just (or is intended to be) bathing in positive energy. I am seeing that there is some sort of conflict you are overcoming, it could be with a specific person. If you've been fighting a lot/at odds with someone or some people close to you, I see that being resolved and that lifting a huge weight off of your shoulders. For others of you I'm getting a message that there is somebody who seems to always be challenging your positivity. Perhaps for some it's not a person, so much as external influences, media, etc. in general that kinda *tries* to rain on your parade. For some of you I see you confronting that person/thing, but for others I see this as a message to not allow these energies to overtake you. Just let them fly past, don't get involved with the 'dramas' & leave it up to the universe.
People may be making you feel as though your optimism is blind or naive, or this could've been the case in the past. Remember that the only reason they considered your optimism to be blind, was because they themselves couldn't see it. Right now, what belongs to you is joy, excitement, optimism and new opportunities. Have no shame in embracing that regardless of others pessimism/jealousy. I'm sensing that some of you are needing new friends or at least, a circle more on your wavelength that doesn't put you down for your spiritual or positive nature. The right people for you will be the ones who share this positive energy and sense of joy with you and are delighted to have a friend in life who possesses such a quality!
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
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elicathebunny · 6 months ago
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How to utilise the holidays/term breaks well for a successful academic year
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Do you need to catch up on revising the things you didn't pay attention to in class or maybe you just need to put in some extra effort to up a grade? I'm going to walk you through my personal tips for revising efficiently throughout the holidays and term breaks without disrupting your freedom away from learning too much.
I. The Defining Phase
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First, you need to figure out what you need to study the most. You should figure this out by knowing what subjects you need to spend a little bit more time on than others and revising what you already know well from time to time to keep the information fresh. Make sure you don't spend too much time on the topics you know very well, I know it's tempting and easier but you are not learning anything new or prioritising the subjects you do need to work on. The more you practice in the difficult areas, the more easier they will become too.
II. The Planning Phase
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Now you know what you need to revise/study. You can make a schedule around your free days. Obviously don't force yourself to study or revise when you are enjoying your holidays off from education, so you need to work out days that you can dedicate to your learning.
To make things easier for yourself, gather the resources you need (physical or online) and make them easily available to you to get rid of the faf when starting to revise. If you know you may need extra help, utilise the online teachers and AI chatbots.
-> Don't cheat with them, these are helpful ways to check your answers and to understand the questions that you wouldn't have gotten with step-by-step help
Make sure to schedule days that you can rest and enjoy your break from school. Please don't overload yourself with lots of study days because you will burn out and miss out on your holiday. Instead make a doable schedule based on your lifestyle and what's going on in your week, dedicating just 20-60 mins is enough for a day to get all the information in your head.
Allow yourself to have breaks in between study sessions so you can reset your brain before continuing to learn.
for example: for every 1hr 30 mins studying, take a 15 min break for every 1hr studying, take a 10 min break for every 30 minutes studying, take a 5 min break [every 30 mins = 5 mins break]
if you do anything below or above the times I gave, then round it up to the nearest 30 minutes and calculate the break you should have.
III. Avoiding procrastination
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SET YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS !!
Put your study equipment on your desk, organised and ready for you to begin your session. Keep all distractions you know will interrupt your studying away from your space. Put your phone away and keep it away from your desk, turn it on do not disturb until you have finished your session. Make sure your space is clean and organised, clear space = clear mind.
Play some ambient music in the background if you need something to break the silence. Preferably choose a background sound with no lyrics or a beat to distract you. The music will keep you focused if you need it.
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a. how to stop relying on motivation purely.
Motivation often comes in short bursts and fades away, leaving you less determined to pursue your goals. Relying solely on motivation means you only act when you feel like it. Sometimes, we need to do things that benefit us even when we don’t feel like it. That's why motivation isn’t reliable in the long run. Instead, we need to develop discipline. Discipline helps you push through when you don’t feel like doing something, focusing on the long-term benefits rather than your current feelings. Doing something over and over again builds a habit, this will make it easier to get up and get it done without a fuss.
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xoxo
E.B
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sophaeros · 1 year ago
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arctic monkeys for clash magazine, april 2010
ON THE ROAD WITH… ARCTIC MONKEYS
Words by Simon Harper Photos by Jason Joyce
As Britain’s favourite band headed out on the European leg of their ‘Humbug’ tour, Clash discovered that Arctic Monkeys were less sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll, and more cakes, ping-pong and Coco Pops…
The city of Offenbach, about twenty minutes south of Frankfurt, was once noted for its abundant leather industry, and is currently the base of the German weather service, but such claims don’t negate the fact that it’s basically a sterile, grey, typically German suburban borough. The arrival of a fleet of trucks and buses, carrying Arctic Monkeys, their crew and stage gear, heralded the notion that for one night only, Offenbach may just come alive with suitably bustling energy.
Offenbach’s Stadthalle is the smallest venue on the Monkeys’ three-week tour of Western Europe. The band have been through Portugal, Spain and France, and know how to kill time during the day while everyone works around them, building the stage for that night’s show. And so, when Clash finds them, upstairs in the Stadthalle’s back rooms, they’re in the middle of a fierce ping-pong match – the game scores being tallied up across the tour. The table, it transpires, is the band’s own, and follows them wherever they go. A set of football goals lie waiting for action, but the small white balls prove more enticing.
It’s a cold, February Tuesday, and these back rooms are where the band will spend the whole day.
Previous encounters with Arctic Monkeys have been somewhat tough – notoriously reticent and famously press-shy, there’s a tangible wall that surrounds them, which is seemingly hard to penetrate. Suspicious stares cut through you, while succinct answers frustrate you. Today, however, they couldn’t be more accommodating.
Clash sits with the quartet in the band-only room, where their personal equipment is kept in a vertical flight case of drawers, and a small fridge is at hand for cold beers. Nick O’Malley, Jamie Cook and Matt Helders sprawl on the leather couches, while Alex Turner perches on the table, often pacing the room, then escaping in search of a lighter. We’re here to talk about life on the road. What starts as an interview eventually descends into louche conversation; daft chat punctuated by much laughter. Perhaps they’re glad to see a friendly face; perhaps the monotony of touring makes them crave any respite; perhaps there’s nothing better to do in Offenbach.
Is being on tour like real life, or does it feel like you’re detached from what real life is?
Matt: It’s probably real life. It doesn’t seem like it’s too separate or miles away.
When you go home is that normality or is it just a continuation of what you do on the road?
Matt: I don’t find it hard to settle back and switch between the two.
Nick: You feel like you’re unemployed when you go home properly.
Like you’ve got nothing to do?
Nick: Yeah, or like if you’ve got a couple of weeks off.
Matt: Like school holidays.
Alex: Does that make this school then?
Matt: Yeah, but it’s like basketball camp or something you enjoy.
How do your friendships cope with life on the road? 
Matt: It’s fine.
Nick: Yeah. We know how to not annoy each other. We’ve never really had friction, because we’ve all got a similar outlook on how not to annoy people, I suppose, so there’s never really been any problems.
Alex: (Mock nastily) That’s what you think, mate.
Nick: (Laughs) I suppose if you see the same people every day, after a while you’re bound to get a bit annoyed, but as long as you keep in your mind that it’s just because of the situation and not because you don’t like the person, then you can kind of avoid outbursts that you might not mean. It’s never really been a problem so far.
Do you notice a huge cultural difference between touring Europe and America? 
Alex: Even between places in Europe. I mean, often, to be honest, certainly at this stage that we’re at, days like today aren’t uncommon, where you’re out of town and you don’t even really see where you are, as I’m sure you’re aware. But you can really tell the difference just in the show, from the crowd. We did Madrid and Barcelona over t’weekend, and last week Portugal, and they were really excitable and there was like a frenzy going on when we were playing. Whereas I think crowds elsewhere can be a bit more reserved, can’t they, depending on where it is. I reckon one of the best crowds on this tour was a gig we did last week in Porto. We’ve never played there before. There was this real appreciation or something just from the start. You can just sort of feel it, can’t you; ‘We’re all here to have a laugh’.
Alex lives in the States now. Have any of you considered moving to somewhere you’ve visited on tour?
Matt: Yeah. It’s good that you do get to see places that you might consider moving, like Berlin. I could imagine living there.
Does living apart make you appreciate each other more when you’re back together?
Jamie: [Long pause] Mmmm…yeah.
Gone are the days when you’re living round the corner from each other.
Alex: Yeah, I suppose that’s true. You’ve got to sort of organise to be in one place. I suppose that is a bit of an inconvenient drag.
Are there any essential items that you have to pack before you come out on tour?
Jamie: One of them rolly things that gets fluff of your coat. (All laugh)
Alex: I feel like you’re a lot better equipped than the rest of us with things like that.
Yeah, you’re looking very bobble-less.
Jamie: Ah, cheers. Yeah, I did it this morning actually. A quick roll.
Matt: A skipping rope – except I forgot it this time. I’ve lost mine.
Nick: DVDs, stuff like that.
A ping-pong table?
Jamie: A ping-pong table is essential actually. I don’t think we’d go on tour without that.
Alex: Some kind of series…
Matt: A box-set.
Alex: Kinda really discovered that this last year. It was summat I’d never really got into before.
Nick: Any HBO series.
Alex: (Laughs) Yeah. I’ve really learned to appreciate that sort of continuum, because you can follow a thread.
Matt: You know what you need to do the next day.
What have you been watching?
Alex: We’ve got into Deadwood a bit on the last tour. That’s what’s been missing, I think, for me on this tour, some sort of thing like that.
Have you done The Wire?
Alex: Yeah.  I went Wire mad on that tour. I just got so greedy. I get so greedy with them things.
Matt: I couldn’t catch up.
Jamie: Yeah, he ditched everyone. I got ditched on t’second series!
Matt: Six in t’morning, I could hear him.
Jamie: You’d get up and that [theme] song would be on. It’d just be crisps all over, a bottle of…
Nick: ‘Wire Beast’s been up all night again!’
Alex: ‘Where’d you get that dressing gown from?’
Jamie: Just laying there with crumbs all over him.
Have you ever had any scares at customs? 
Nick: I got searched yesterday actually.
Matt: It was your squeaky wheels, just as I’d said. I said, ‘Them wheels are gonna attract attention.’
Nick: In Germany. A very thorough search, but luckily no glove action.
Jamie: They probably wanted to mend your wheels for you.
Matt: ‘I’ve got summat for that, some GT85.’
Nick: They were really suspicious of me. They really took everything apart and didn’t put it back as neat as I’d put it in.
Alex: At this end, yesterday?
Nick: Yeah, when we arrived in ‘Munchen’.
Alex: They’re quite, like, strict, aren’t they, Bavarian authorities.
Nick: Yeah. They had a look at me belt, everything. All me case and bag. Took everything apart. Then he were like, ‘Where have you come from?’ I went, ‘Barcelona’. He were like, ‘Have you had any contact with drugs in Barcelona?’ I went, ‘No.’ He went, ‘What do you do?’ I said, ‘I’m in a band.’ And he went, ‘Ah’, and then, like, swabbed everything.
Alex: When I got in t’car yesterday, the fella were like, [German accent] ‘If you like to do drugs, do not try and do it in Bavaria.’
American customs scare me most. 
Matt: Yeah, it’s a load of questions.
Alex: ‘What are you doing here?’
Jamie: New Zealand were quite funny. We all got pulled…
Matt: We had to sit in them chairs for a bit…
Jamie: And this guy was asking us directly the last time we ever did drugs. Then someone came over who worked for us…and he soon disappeared rather fast. We were fine. (All laugh)
Alex: I’ve come to quite enjoy the American customs people. (All laugh)
Matt: They’ve always got weird names.
Alex: They’re like, [American accent] ‘So you’re in a band, huh?’ You go, ‘Yeah, yeah.’ ‘What do you do in the band?’ ‘Oh, I’m the singer.’ ‘Yeah? You don’t look like a singer to me.’
Nick: ‘Do you sound like Coldplay?’
Alex: Yeah, ‘What kind of music do you guys play?’
Jamie: ‘Do you sound like Staind?’ I went like, ‘Staind? I know them… Fuckin’ hell!’ It took me ages. ‘Yeah, yeah, we sound a bit like Staind.’ When he said it I were like, ‘Yeah, a bit.’
You’ve said before that you wanted to try and get an album out this year. Do you get any time on the road to do any work on that?
Alex: Not really. That’s a bit of a pain in the arse, not being able to rehearse and work stuff out. I don’t think I write very good songs on t’road. They’re all a bit wonky. You get back and you’re like, ‘Hmmm’.
Does it detach you from what we were talking about earlier, ‘real life’? Does it detach you from the things that you want to be writing about?
Alex: I dunno. You can still use your imagination, but I just think, yeah, in your surroundings there’s always about to be something that’s going to happen. You can’t think. I always write wherever I am, but I dunno if the things that come out when you’re touring around always have the shelf life that the other things do.
Have you got any songs earmarked for the next album?
Alex: Yeah. I mean, there’s some ideas, but we haven’t really had the chance to get out the fine toothed comb.
‘Humbug’ was a departure in sound from your previous albums – do you think you’ll continue in that direction, maybe bring Josh Homme in again?
Alex: Not sure, really. We would like to do something with Josh again – it was terrific for us to go on that adventure – but whether or not it’s this next thing, I’m not sure. And also, like, he’s busy! (Laughs) He’s got a schedule himself, doesn’t he?
You went to record over in his place, so do you think next time you’ll have him over to...
Alex: High Green? (Laughs) Homme in High Green? I quite fancy that.
Nick: He’d look like a superhero in High Green, all the bad genetics there are in High Green. He’d look amazing.
Matt: He’d be the biggest man there.
You’ve released a couple of singles exclusively through Oxfam. What made you decide to do that? 
Jamie: Laurence and Jonny at Domino came to us with that idea – a great idea for the charity reason, and then cos Woolworths and stuff had shut down, but there were always an Oxfam.
Alex: Like, in towns where there perhaps aren’t, like, an Our Price or something.
Do you have to think of more creative ways to get your records out there?
Jamie: Yeah, rather than just sat at home.
Matt: They should think about making the journey exciting – paint paths a nice colour to the record shops.
Alex: The yellow brick road.
Matt: Something that makes people want to walk to a record shop. Even if it’s just free parking. (All laugh)
Jamie: It’s just too easy to buy music now.
How do you feel as artists about the devaluing of music? Does it annoy you that you’re working hard to make something, but people can just pick it up from their friends?
Jamie: I suppose we were never in the industry when it were big money, when people used to sell twenty million albums. Has that ever happened since we’ve been around?
Probably someone like Dido has.
Jamie: Yeah, that were probably the last.
Matt: It’s like, we wouldn’t expect anything like that to happen to us, so…
Alex: I do think there is people that always will want to go and get records.
Matt: Yeah, it won’t change everybody.
Alex: I was reading a couple of months ago about there’s an idea where you won’t even have – you know like you pull songs off iTunes or whatever – but they were saying you subscribe to a database and pay to get ’em…
Jamie: Spotify, that’s what that was.
Alex: Yeah. But you can’t get them on…
It streams the music – you can’t download them.
Alex: But you can’t do that on your phone, can you?
Matt: Yeah, you can do Spotify on your phone if you pay about £10 a month. Nokia did that thing where you can just pay a monthly thing and you can have as many as you want…
Alex: The fella had a quote, he’s like, ‘There’s nothing sexy about an MP3 on your desktop’. (Laughs) He’s like, ‘There’s nothing sexy about having a subscription to a database’. (All laugh) But then you could just sort of buy a record and stand it up against your wall. Not that that’s particularly sexy, but, you know what I mean… I like things that you can stand up.
Jamie: Like you said the other day, everyone’s just gonna have an empty house.
Matt: Yeah, there’s gonna be nothing on t’shelves. Not even books now.
Jamie: No one��s got any photos anymore, no ones’s got any CDs or records…
Matt: You’ll just have a screen and a chair.
Jamie: You’ll just go, ‘Sound. This is sound.’
Matt: With nowt on your wall.
Jamie: You can just have everything [at your fingertips]; turn your fire on, open your curtains…
Alex: You’d get in it for your bath. (All laugh)
[Alex goes into the band’s equipment drawer, pulls out a giant figure of Freddie Mercury in full-on rock pose. “See, he said he likes things that stand up,” Matt says.]
Does being on an independent label give you the freedom to experiment with your marketing or promotions? 
Matt: Yeah. They [Domino] have as many ideas as us for stuff like that, like the Oxfam thing. They tend to think on a similar level, and, at the same time, if we have a suggestion, they’re open to it. It sometimes is a good thing to have a label like Domino, cos they’re experienced in doing weird stuff, and have obviously signed things that aren’t necessarily to make any money or anything, so we’ll listen to them if they have a suggestion, and vice versa. They’d put records out on tins of beans and all sorts. (All laugh)
Jamie: I wanted to do it on a conifer. I wanted to put an MP3 out on a conifer.
Matt: Or just seeds. Christmas tree seeds.
Alex: Yeah. What did they actually do?
Matt: There’s a Jewish guy, I forgot what his name is, and they did it on a kosher chicken noodle soup or something. You buy the soup and you get the code [for the MP3]. Which is good in a way, because he’s just poo-pooing the fact that there’s not much point. It’s an incentive, but it doesn’t get it in the chart, you see. It’s a give-away. So you can sell anything and just have an MP3 code on it. You can sell a car and you’d just get one song.
Jamie: But then it doesn’t count towards t’charts?
Matt: No. The Oxfam thing don’t either, does it. Only the download bit does. You’re not allowed to give away incentives like free stuff, because that’s obviously encouraging people. See, that’s the thing – people might buy the soup and not download the song. ‘I wonder if they make good soup?’
Jamie: When you see a good cover sometimes…
Matt: Yeah, you buy it for the cover.
Alex: Perhaps the epitome of that is you buying a Lady Gaga picture disc. (Laughs)
Matt: Yeah, I did. I’ve been a fool.
Alex: It’s great, cos she’s wearing like a fuckin’ box of Coco Pops or something. (Laughs)
Matt: You could buy that Freddie Mercury thing and get a Queen album, for instance. You don’t need to put it on or owt.
Jamie: You want to make it awkward.
Matt: Buy a chair. Buy a flat pack piece of furniture and you get a code for an album.
Jamie: You have to put your furniture up and send a picture to someone, then they send you the MP3.
Alex: That would make a good video: playing in a bowl of Coco Pops. (All laugh) Remember that kids programme where they used to have to go swimming in a bowl of cereal…
Jamie: Ah yeah. Didn’t they used to do something like that on The Big Breakfast?
Matt: They did, yeah.
Jamie: It were a massive cup of tea and you used to have to get the sugar lumps…
Matt: Yeah, yeah, that was it: One Lump Or Two.
Jamie: One Lump Or Two, yeah!
Alex: It would be great: kid comes down, he’s having his breakfast – Coco Pops – and then, like, Arctic Monkeys are in his cereal. (All laugh)
Jamie: Hot milk, though.
Matt: Hot milk in t’afternoon.
Alex: (Laughs) ‘Why not try Coco Pops after school?’
Jamie: (Laughs) I love that advert!
Alex: It’s the best!
Do your fans give you CDs of their bands?
Matt: They throw them on t’stage! Imagine if you got one of them in t’eye! Fuckin’ hell! Remember in America, a kid got on stage and he had a handful [of CDs] and someone had to grab him to get him off, but he threw them. So he were getting pulled away and he threw them.
Alex: I’ve been getting less CDs though…
Matt: Now they’re throwing download cards at you!
Alex: I got a pair of underpants…
Jamie: People are chucking downloads at you. You’re like, ‘What the fuck?’
Matt: People are throwing zeroes and ones at you – it’s like the credits of The Matrix!
Jamie: You can’t get any flick on a download.
Alex: They’re chucking Spotifys at me. Maybe that’s what them pants were – some sort of code.
I think it’d be a totally different sort of code! Do you listen to the music that fans give you?
Matt: I listened to one that someone gave me the other day. It just were at home though, he just gave it me.
Alex: No more than I’d wear that pair of pants! (Laughs)
Matt: It were just convenient – I were getting in me car and there’s a CD player there.
What’s the strangest thing a fan has given you?
Matt: Just in Japan – everything you get is weird! Like, a monkey hat – it left your own face in but it’s got ears and a tail.
Jamie: And sweets.
Matt: A lot of sweets.
Jamie: We once said, ‘Oh, we like these sweets’ in an interview…
Nick: There’s someone that makes baked goods.
Matt: You got a good one, where it were like a picture of you…
Alex: Yeah, I got like a diagram of myself…
Matt: A diagram, pointing at every bit, and then asking to fill in, like, what his favourite brand of jeans were.
Alex: Hand it back, and then she’d sort of kit me out.
Matt: She’d buy it all! So, like, ‘Favourite shoes? Trainers or boots?’ It would be like that. He’d fill it in and send it back and then she’d buy it. ‘Will this do?’
Alex: Back it came with this jumper that were perfect actually. She really knew me better than I knew meself.
Nick: With baked goods, I know it’s not [spiked], but you never know… It’s probably fine – it’s more than likely fine – but it is a gamble.
Matt: It’s innocent, but someone might have seen that opportunity.
Jamie: I don’t think I’m ever gonna eat a baked good that some stranger’s made. You learn about that. There is a story there…
What’s the first thing you do when you get home after the tour is finished? 
Nick: See your friends and family that you’ve not seen.
Matt: I go and get my photos developed. That’s actually one of the first things I do.
Alex: I usually pick up me guitar. Honestly. It’s a deep breath.
Later that evening, Clash is back in the ping-pong room. The tour manager comes to break bad news to the band - the curtain at the front of the stage is broken. They won't be able to make their usual grand entrance. "Ah, we've got to do it," grins Alex. Do what? "We've been saying on this tour if ever the curtain doesn't work, we've got to go on to this song." Which song? "Black Eyed Peas’ ‘I Gotta Feelin’’," Alex beams. The band are giddily bouncing around, electrified by the prospect of taking the stage to the song that's soundtracked many a menopausal vodka-stained Saturday evening's preparatory gathering.
“But when do we go on?" Matt asks.
"The rap. We gotta wait for the rap," Alex asserts.
"We should wait until "Mazel tov”,” Jamie smirks.
Ten minutes later, Clash is amidst the Offenbach crowd when the lights go out and the song bursts from the PA. A wave of euphoria swells, the irony not lost, and right on cue, just as the Peas declare, "I know that we'll have a ball", the four Monkeys stride towards their instruments.
The nineteen-song set covers their three albums - with Nick Cave's 'Red Right Hand’ thrown in for good measure. The last song before their encore is 'Secret Door’ from 'Humbug’. Just as Matt cracks the snare drum that launches the song's long psychedelic outro, cannons on the roof blast out gold and silver confetti over the joyous crowd below, proving that the Monkeys aren't averse to a bit of showmanship every now and then.
The after party is a subdued affair (well, in Offenbach it's bound to be!), with just the band, some friends, crew, and Clash, diving into the beer and nibbles on offer. A fairly drunken chat with Alex about Johnny Cash, Billie Holiday and Gram Parsons rounds off our time with the band, as they retreat back to the confines of their bus, about to depart for Dusseldor and their next gig.
Such a welcome and warm atmosphere is often rare backstage, especially with a band as celebrated as this, but the Monkeys - ever changing and ever surprising - are beginning to make a habit of defying expectations. Growing up has never been such fun.
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poetrysmackdown · 1 year ago
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what makes a poem a poem? does it have to be written in a certain way? is this question a poem if i want it to be?
Fun question! This is just my personal sense as an avid reader and less-avid writer of poetry, but for me it’s useful to distinguish (roughly) between poetry as a genre and poetry as an attitude or philosophy through which language and the world can be understood. And of course these two go hand in hand. I see poetry the genre as essentially a type of literature where we as readers are signaled, somehow, to pay closer attention to language, to rhythm, to sound, to syntax, to images, and to meaning. That attentive posture is the “attitude” of broader poetic thinking, and while it’s most commonly applied to appreciate work that’s been written for that purpose, there’s nothing stopping us from applying that attentiveness elsewhere. Everywhere, even! That’s how you eventually end up writing poetry for yourself, after all. There’s a quote from Mary Ruefle floating around on here that a lot of folks have probably already seen, but it immediately comes to mind with this ask:
“And when you think about it, poets always want us to be moved by something, until in the end, you begin to suspect that a poet is someone who is moved by everything, who just stands in front of the world and weeps and laughs and laughs and weeps.”
Similarly, after adopting the attentive posture of poetics, there’s plenty of things that can feel or sound like a poem, even when they perhaps were not written with that purpose in mind. I’ve seen a couple of these “found poems” on here that are quite fun—this one, for example. The meaning and enjoyment you may derive from the language of a found poem isn’t any less real than that derived from a poem written for explicitly poetic purposes, so I don’t see why it shouldn’t be called poetry.
That said, I do think that if you’re going to go out and start looking for poetry everywhere, it’s still important to have a foundation in the actual language work of it all. Now, this doesn’t mean it has to be “written in a certain way” at all! But it does mean that in order to cultivate the attentiveness that’s vital to poetry, one needs to understand what makes language tick, down at its most basic levels. It will make you better at reading poetry, better at writing it, and better at spotting it out in the wild.
Mary Oliver’s A Poetry Handbook is an extraordinary resource to new writers and readers, and a great read for more experienced folks as well. Mary Oliver’s most popular poems are all to my knowledge in free verse, and yet you might be surprised to find her deep appreciation for metrical verse (patterns of stressed/unstressed syllables), as well as for the most minute devices of sound. In discussing the so-called poetry of the past, she writes,
“Acquaintance with the main body of English poetry is absolutely essential—it is the whole cake, while what has been written in the last hundred years or so, without meter, is no more than an icing. And, indeed, I do not really mean an acquaintanceship—I mean an engrossed and able affinity with metrical verse. To be without this felt sensitivity to a poem as a structure of lines and rhythmic energy and repetitive sound is to be forever less equipped, less deft than the poet who dreams of making a new thing can afford to be.”
In another section, after devoting lots of attention to the sounds at work in Robert Frost’s “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening”, she writes,
“Everything transcends from the confines of its initial meaning; it is not only the transcendence in meaning but the sound of the transcendence that enables it to work. With the wrong sounds, it could not have happened.”
I hope all this helps to get across my opinion that what makes a poem a poem is not just about the author's intention, and not just about meaning (intended or attributed), but also about sound and rhythm and language and history, all coalescing into something that rises above the din of a language we would otherwise grow tired of while out in our day-to-day lives.
I'll always have more to say but I'm cutting myself off here! Thanks for the ask
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hiddenlongingsfanfic · 3 months ago
Text
Fresh Out of Luck (Lucky Boys 2)
“So…uh Hood? Are you okay?” 
Danny could feel the flood of fond exasperation that swept through the man across from him and he finally let his muscles loosen. 
The man may have been stand-up enough to pull him from electrified waters but that didn’t always mean much.  The fact that he seemed closer to laughter than anger after a pretty intense, if short-lived, fight was definitely a point in his favor. 
Maybe now that they’d sized each other up Danny could just slink out of this guys haunt without any further problems. 
I mean, he had a lot of problems actually, but this could be one less. 
Maybe? 
Possibly? 
As he struggled to regain his footing Danny felt the other man's full attention settle back on him. 
Absolutely everything throbbed on his body as he got back up. 
The fall and the electric shock would have been enough for him to retreat to his core even a year ago. He was tougher now, more used to pain. So he was up and on his feet even though it was nearly the last thing he wanted to do. If the ground had been just a little softer or the man across from him had been just a little less scary Danny would have stayed face-planted right where he was.  As it was, one of his feet dragged behind him a little as he started to stumble away. 
Ow. 
Ow. 
Ow! 
Behind him the man cleared his throat pointedly and Danny turned his head just enough to see him out of the corner of his eye. 
“I’m fine O; but we’ll need some sort of medical assistance for our…visitor.” 
Danny didn’t even try to hold back the rumbling bass of the growl that erupted from his chest. 
Like hell. 
The other man. 
Hood? 
Raised an eyebrow at him and after a breath of thought seemed to purposefully push a little hesitant reassurance towards him. 
Danny’s nostrils flared wide and on the exhale he pushed out a wisp of frosty air. 
Which hadn’t happened before when Hood had sent emotions his way. 
This was the first time it seemed intentional though. 
As though he’d put some effort into it rather than an instinctual response. 
Which, if this was the man’s first time meeting another ghost-adjacent person, was pretty impressive. 
More than just a very, pretty face whatever he was. 
But Danny had learned his lesson about being led around by pretty people who were able to beat the shit out of him without breaking a sweat. 
Danny relaxed his grip on his solid form and felt the dim shadows of the sewers recede just a little bit more as his skin started to glow. His legs merged together into his tail and he let himself start to float into the air with, if not ease, at least long practice. 
Hood’s eyes widened a little at the transformation but didn’t budge an inch.  Instead, he let his head fall back a little against the wall deliberately making himself look more relaxed and less threatening. Danny may not be able to speak because of the muzzle but his derisive snort spoke volumes. Hood held his hands up in silent surrender. 
“Okay. Fine. No hospital or anything. But we can help you with the muzzle at least. See about getting that off your face.” 
Danny snorted again and this time he let himself float back up towards a thin sliver of night sky that he could see. It wouldn’t be wide enough for his shoulders but the plastic would fit through easily enough through the small gap. 
The man’s voice was fading but he could still feel the surge of worried aggravation when he said. 
“Fine. Have it your way.” 
Whoever O was hadn’t had any sort of audible reaction to what Hood had said so they probably had cameras along with the other equipment that the man was packing. So at least two people in this strange new world had already seen his face and what the GIW had done to him. 
It took a little bit of wriggling, and the painful stretch of the plastic muzzle compressing on his face but Danny managed to slide back onto the streets. 
Camera’s didn’t tend to work too well around him but the tech from this world might be different. 
So with another shuddering effort Danny managed to make himself go invisible and intangible. 
From what he had seen while he was falling from the crumbling portal he had landed in a sizable city. 
The stars were all wrong and he couldn’t quite grasp where he was in relation to where he had been. 
Did this Earth even have the same number of continents? 
Countries? 
Not that it really mattered. 
There was no going back to the life (HA!) that he had had before. 
Wherever he had landed, it looked rough. 
A lot of the streetlights had been smashed, leaving deep pools of darkness that Danny purposefully skirted around.
Even if the only thing that was still visible was the muzzle he didn’t need anybody trying to grab onto his face. 
He flitted through the back alleys ignoring the deals for both drugs and bodies that were going on around him. 
Everything looked as consensual as it could be and he didn’t see any kids involved. 
Frankly, at that point he considered it none of his business. 
He was also just tired. 
Most of the buildings looked like they were occupied; with the occasional spot of warm flickering light from a television. But any city of even moderate size was going to have abandoned buildings. It took him a little while but Danny finally found what looked like an abandoned apartment building. Most of the windows had been smashed and the front door was hanging off of a single hinge at an angle that suggested it had been pushed inwards forcefully. 
Danny cautiously floated up a couple of stories and peered in through a few windows.   He could see the occasional sleeping bag and the small stashes of supplies that some of the city's homeless had left there but between the police tape and the blood stains Danny figured something violent had happened here. 
Violent enough to keep all but the most desperate of people out of the building. 
Perfect. 
The building was steeped in death and when Danny put a cautious hand on the bricks he could feel the treacle creep of the ectoplasm that inundated the porous surfaces. 
He carefully maneuvered the muzzle through the shattered remnants of wood from a boarded off window. 
The rest of his body slipped through the boards with no issue. 
The apartment had never been anything glamorous. 
Wall to wall carpeting in a shade that may have been beige but now had a noxious undertone of green from the mold and the water damage. The wallpaper had once had fat yellow roses peppering the wall in inconsistent rows, mismatched now where the sun had faded the once bright colors.  
Danny took in a deep breath of decay, it felt just like home. 
Danny let himself relax back into visibility as he scanned the room in front of him. 
There were water stains creeping up the drywall, heaviest around the window and in the corners leaving the once cheerful wallpaper peeling up and bubbling. 
He let himself spin around for a moment taking it all in. 
Not a single piece of rubble was anything even close to white in color. 
No medical equipment. 
No weapons, ecto or otherwise. 
Danny let out a low rumble of pleasure. 
Perfection. 
He’d go out and scavenge some blankets. 
See if he couldn’t cobble together some sort of generator. 
He had never been the brains of the family, but he was no lightweight when it came to cannibalizing what someone else had already built. 
Danny dragged the remains of a moth-eaten comforter into the darkest corner of the living room and let himself fully curl up onto it with a heavy sigh. Thin lines of ectoplasm started slowly leaking up out of the floor and made a beeline for his chest. When he finally dropped off to sleep Danny felt better than he had in years. 
When Red Hood slipped onto a rooftop across the road the stranger didn’t even twitch.
Pulling a small pair of binoculars out of one pouch, he also pocketed a small handheld device that was connected to the tracking device he had managed to slip into the folds of the black rubber hazmat suit the other man was wearing.
Whatever he was, and however he turned invisible the tracker had worked fine.
Wherever Jason might have been expecting this strange visitor of Gotham to go it certainly wasn’t here.
Crime Alley was one thing.
This building though was even more decrepit than the usual.
There’d been a mass murder at some point in the early aughts.
Nothing too noteworthy.
For Gotham anyways.
A drug deal gone wrong, amped up with some of the fear toxin that the Scarecrow specialized in.
Red Hood had managed to keep most of the homeless clear of the old apartment building just in case.
He’d funded several halfway houses in the Narrows and tried to keep everyone at least marginally housed and fed.
One thing about his little empire, Jason had no end of odd jobs that he was able to offer to anyone that needed some help to get back on their feet. He’d been deep in the weeds of getting a rehab facility set up for the last several months. Getting funding hadn’t been the biggest problem; if Bruce was good for nothing else he was at least usually willing to throw money at a problem.
He had also given all of his children a thorough education in business and whatever else they were interested in.
Finding good, i.e. non-villainous, counselors was proving to be tough though.
Nearly everyone with a higher education in Gotham seemed to be on a watchlist of some sort.
Anyone with common sense and a Masters degree tended to abandon the smog-filled skies as soon as they were able to graduate.
Hood didn’t feel like he was being particularly picky either.
He sincerely didn’t care about any sort of non-violent criminal history and even then it definitely depended on the circumstances.
A spouse beater wasn’t going to get into the Narrows to profit off of his little growing empire.
A girl that had killed her rapist on the other hand.
Well.
Some people got exactly what they deserved in death.
No matter what Batman thought.
Tossing his hair out of his face Jason finally knelt down to take in what he was seeing.
Oracle was quiet too.
He’d turned on the recording when he’d slipped into the sewers and hadn’t felt the need to turn it off since.
He had heard the gasp of outrage that had slipped out when she had seen the other man’s face.
Whoever had done that to him; it was malicious.
Torture on a human rights level, even if he wasn’t technically human, wasn’t going to be tolerated by any Bat or Bird.
“We’re going to need to figure out who did that to him.”
O’s voice was grim and Jason gave a grunt of agreement.
Tilting his head, Jason watched the throbbing glow of the Lazarus water as it seeped into the man’s chest.
He wasn’t going to lie, at least not to himself, that was spooky as shit.
“I’m not familiar with whatever tech or magic this guy’s got going on but I’d say he’s probably ingesting the Lazarus water to help with his injuries.”
Jason kept quiet.
Oracle was only marginally talking to him.
She was typing quickly; looking for commonalities.
Clues as to what the hell was going on with their newest visitor.
Jason’s voice was the barest whisper but he knew that the microphone would pick it up.
“How is he even collecting it? I’ve never seen the waters in this quantity in Gotham and he seems to be pulling it out of thin air.”
“I’m not picking up any sort of machinery or tech. The only metal I’m picking up is localized around his face. You tussled with him. Notice anything noteworthy?”
Jason bit his lip to hold back a bark of laughter.
Tussled.
Like they were kids on a playground.
Like the guy in front of him hadn’t managed to literally rip his helmet off of him in pieces.
At least Dick had finally managed to convince him to remove the bomb that he had stored in it for a while.
That would have been an interesting way to go out.
“You’ve been unusually quiet even for you. What are you thinking?”
“That he sets off the Pit.”
Oracle’s gasp was bitten off but Jason still heard it.
He ignored it though and plowed on.
“Not. Not in the same way that I’m used to.”
Less blinding rage and more. Jason wasn’t sure if he could explain it to anyone.
They knew about the rage that seemed to envelope him.
It didn’t always have a trigger; just came out of fucking nowhere to ruin his goddamn day.
Sometimes though.
Sometimes it was worse.
The scrape of metal on concrete seemed to be a pretty consistent one.
Green flooded his vision and he could feel that seemingly endless well of rage start to rise in his chest.
If he was in the manor or the cave he always tried to keep well away from everyone.
Jason didn’t know what he would do to himself if he somehow managed to hurt Alfie.
That strange feeling of fear mixed with curiosity had seeped through him like a warm mist.
A hiss from a frightened animal not a roar of intimidation.
Not a hint of malicious intent; even after that frankly epic blow to his mask.
The Pit had risen to meet it, enraged and tinted with his own fear, and then had paused.
Writhing in his chest like a physical being.
Like a heart attack made of magic.
And then.
A feeling he had never felt before.
A deep rumbling purr of recognition.
All of this in the span of moments while he had watched the other man try to catch his breath.
All of it a silent undertone that felt like an alien language that he had never heard before but that made perfect sense.
“I can’t explain it. I’ve never experienced anything like it before.”
“Can you make a comparison? It doesn’t have to be perfect. Just, I’m trying to understand what you’re saying.”
Jason went silent for another long moment.
His eyes were still fixed intently on the other man.
Who definitely wasn’t breathing.
That fact didn’t seem to bother the stranger at all as he twisted into a deeper curl.
His entire body was molding to the shape of the used to be 90° walls and the man was about 70% cube.
Jason bit his lip hard enough that he could taste the faint tang of imminent blood.
What could he compare this feeling to?
He stumbled over his words for a moment, wetting his lips.
“It’s not…not quite the same. You remember the first time Martian Manhunter telepathically communicated with you?”
“Yes?”
“How it wasn’t just words.”
“Yes. There were undertones of his emotions too.”
“Right. That’s kind of what this was like. No words. Just emotions. Communicative emotions. He knew what he was doing and had some control over it.” “
So you felt his emotions but they weren’t just pressing into you the way the Martian’s sometimes do. He was using it as a form of communication that he had control over.”
“Yes, exactly.”
Jason nodded, even though he wasn’t sure if Oracle could actually see him through her cameras.
“I think he could understand what I was saying.”
The man’s sarcastically cocked eyebrows had also heavily implied that he understood what Jason was saying perfectly.
And that he was unimpressed.  
“He just couldn’t verbally respond to you because of that horrible muzzle.”
“Well that and I think I really pissed him off when I grabbed him.”
“No.”
Oracle’s voice is only a little dry.
“A person who doesn’t enjoy being snuck up on and grabbed from behind by a total stranger. Call Ripley. I can’t believe it.”
This time Jason snorted softly. He had always loved those Ripley’s Believe it or Not books.
It wasn’t Shakespeare by any means but he had always laughed a little bit at the sight of the monkey and fish body’s that had been put together to make a ‘real mermaid’.
The tv show was fun too.
In the right light the tv host, (Dean something?) had even looked a little bit like Superman.
Nowhere near enough jawline, but the resemblance was there.
Jason huffed the white patch of hair that hung over his forehead out of his eyes as he came to a decision.
“Listen. The tracker obviously worked. I’m just going to leave our guest a little present and then leave him alone. He hasn’t hurt anybody and he definitely could have knocked my whole block off if he had wanted to.”
“Okay, Hood. I’ll pass this along to everyone.”
As though B hadn’t probably been metaphorically champing at the bit and listening to the entire conversation.
The man was busy; but meta’s put his back up for some reason and he had been a little (psychopathically over-protective) of Jason ever since his miraculous return.
The man had also been trying.
Trying so hard to make up for his past mistakes with Jason and his other children.
A part of that was that he had basically ceded control of the Narrows to Red Hood.
Gotham at large may have been the Bat’s territory but all of his children had started to break it into pieces for themselves.
Nightwing was in Bludhaven, but Bruce’s adoption ‘problem’ was rampant enough that the others had managed to create their own sectors within Gotham.
Batman’s grip on the city hadn’t loosened as he aged but he had started to place his trust in his proteges.
That trust did not extend to keeping his nose out of everybody’s business but at least he had learned to occasionally keep his mouth shut.
Danny’s eyes were a little bleary when he opened them up as the sun slowly crept towards his dark little corner.
It took him a second to focus on the object that someone had placed in front of him.
He could feel the muted presence of the other ghost at the edge of his senses.
Long gone; but apparently fully capable of sneaking up on a (more dead than usual) Halfa in his sleep.
The bolt cutters looked to have been coated in rubber and were a matte black that looked expensive. There was a little note placed jauntily on top of the tool; the paper folded in half so it would stand upright.
THIS IS GOING TO HURT LIKE A BITCH. HOPE IT HELPS. RH
The handwriting was blocky but dark with good quality ink that hadn’t smeared or blotched even with the obvious haste that the note had been written.
Danny let his tail flick out and gently tip the note over so that he could look the tool over with more care.
Even with the rubber it was definitely going to set off that satanic little metal plate that was on his tongue.
The man was right. It was going to hurt like a bitch.
He blamed his exhaustion for why he hadn’t gone out and stolen something like this for himself though.
His brain had been too foggy and his body too damaged to try and figure out how to do anything except find somewhere to go to ground that he would be able to pull the plasma out of.
He felt healthier than he had in a long time after his impromptu nap/meal.
It was still going to be dangerous to do this.
If he hadn’t been able to feel the flood of emotions from the other man Danny might have hesitated.
Humans lied.
They lied all of the time.
The man could have coated the cutters with something nasty.
But it didn’t feel like something the man would do, somehow.
Danny reached a trembling hand out to the cutters and reluctantly pulled them closer. They were sturdy. Heavy-duty and hopefully capable of cutting the sutures and metal bars that wound through his face.
He took several deep breaths as he thought about how he was going to manage this.
The bars that went through his lips were close enough to each other that Danny was able to get two of them at a time between the blades of the clipper and he pushed down hard.
There was a moment of triumph when he felt the click of metal separating before his face lit up again with electricity and he writhed on the filthy carpet for several long moments waiting for the metal plate to stop shocking him.
It was lasting a lot longer than he was used to though.
It was hard to think through the pain and it took Danny several long seconds to realize that there was probably some sort of a failsafe on the tech that meant that if he managed to break any of the connections it wasn’t going to stop shocking him.
His whimpers were muffled as the remaining bars still kept his lips fused together and his hands clenched hard into the carpet and missed the handles of the clippers a couple of times before he was able to bring it up in fits and starts to clip the next two bars.  
Thankfully they split as easily as the first two but Danny was starting to smell burning flesh and acrid smoke tickled his nose as the tech fought against his attempt at freedom.
Two more to go.
Then he could hopefully pull the metal plate out of his mouth and the staples would be cake after all of this.
Horrible.
Bitter.
Poisonous cake.
The last two gave way at the same time as Danny lost consciousness. The plate sputtered out with a sullen click and Danny let himself slump down onto the floor and let the darkness take him.
At least there was enough ectoplasm to keep him going in this city even if he wasn’t conscious enough to reach for it.
Batman let his muscles slowly unclench as he watched the boy through his binoculars.
He hadn’t known if he was going to be able to stand by and just watch for much longer.
The glowing Lazarus water had started to slip back out of the carpet as soon as the meta had collapsed back into it.
The Narrows and Crime Alley were Red Hoods; but Batman was never going to leave his boy behind again and if this new boy, young man perhaps, was going to be a denizen of Gotham he deserved every bit as much of his protection as the rest of the population.
More than that, he needed to contact the League.
 Whatever sort of monsters, human or otherwise, had done this were going to pay for this if he had any say in the matter.
Batman’s lips tightened a little bit before he swung away on a grapple gun’s wire.
He was the goddamn Batman.
He had quite a bit of a say. 
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myfaveficrecs · 1 year ago
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Christmas Tradition
Pairing: Bob Floyd x Reader (Darling)
Word Count: 1785
Warnings: Pure fluff
AN: Written for @sailor-aviator's Christmas Writing Challenge. My prompt was ornaments, and I chose to do something I haven't done before. I wrote for Bob! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone.
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“Still okay to meet at 6?”
Bob smiled while reading your text knowing your Christmas tradition would change after this year. In all honesty, he should have changed the tradition a couple of years ago but he always justified why he couldn’t do it just yet. Being on different sides of the country, deployments, being with your families in different states for the holidays, work schedules didn’t align, you both were too busy. But this year that changes.
“I can’t wait, Darling.”
“Going to pick out ornaments tonight?” Phoenix asked with a smile, catching a glimpse of her WSO’s phone while walking by.
“Yeah,” he blushed but could not seem to tamp down his grin. “I put the one for tonight in the tree already this morning after she left for work. I just have to wait a few more hours.”
“How are you feeling?”
“What’s the matter Baby on Board? Going to throw up again?” Hangman gave his traditional smirk while walking to his locker. Looking around, Bob realized the whole squad was in tow in the locker room now.
“Shut up, Bagman. He’s nervous enough without you adding to it.”
“Nervous about what?” Rooster chimed in. “You guys are just going to get your ornaments, right?”
“Wait, ornaments? I feel like I’m missing something.”
“You usually are, Hangman.” Phoenix glared at the irritating pilot. She was not going to let him ruin this day for Bob.
“Every year, Bob and Darling go to a boutique in the town they are in for Christmas to pick out one new ornament each for their tree. The ornament is something that reminds them of each other or something that they did together that year.”
“Okay…and what makes today's nauseating display of affection any different from the other years?”
“First of all, it isn’t nauseating, it’s romantic. Secondly, Bob is officially making her part of the squad!”
Loud cheers and hands roughly shaking his shoulders made Bob turn an interesting shade of red, but the laugh that came out of him was pure joy. “She has to say yes first. I gotta get out of here and meet her. I’ll let you know how it goes.”
With choruses of cheers and good luck, Bob rushed out to his truck, pulling out his phone to let her know he was on his way with a quick text. The closer he got to her, the less anxious he felt. She was the only thing other than being above the clouds that made him feel completely at peace. His Darling was his safe place, his home, his heart, and his soul. She was so deeply ingrained and embedded into his skin that he would never be rid of her if he tried. She was everything and he would make sure she knew it.
Pulling up to the little boutique decked out in all the garland, lights, and ornaments probably in the whole of San Diego he saw his little Darling already waiting for him at the front door, excitement all over her face. He may have started this tradition, but she made sure to treasure it and keep it exciting. 
“There is my handsome man. How was work?” You asked, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, leaving little kisses along his jaw, enjoying the light flush that started along his neck and was gradually making its way to his ears. The little prickles of the five o’clock shadow leave pleasant tingles on your lips.
His arms wrapped tight around you, swaying you back and forth to a tune that was only playing in his own mind. “It was good, I got to try some new equipment upgrades today. They are asking for my input on how to make it better.”
“That’s because you are amazing at what you do, and I would know how precise, focused, and accurate you are.” 
Bob laughed, covering your mouth with one large hand while you wiggle your eyebrows, trying to tamp down your own amusement for his sake. “Be a good girl.”
His deep voice with that particular phrase sent lightning zaps throughout your body and straight to your core, the memory of his head between your legs this morning making your heart pick up speed. “I can’t make any promises.” You let out a little yelp when you felt a quick swat to your ass, his strong hands turning you around by your shoulders and pushing you gently through the door with a laugh.
With a chime from the alarm and a loud jingle of the bells on the door, your presence alerted the owner of the little boutique that has become a favorite of yours to come to. “There’s my favorite couple! I was wondering when you two were going to come by and see us.”
“Good evening, ma’am.” He greeted with a nod. She reminded him of his grandmother - a little rounder with age, silver streaks in her blonde hair, rosy cheeks, and round glasses that complemented her face rather nicely.
“We’ve got some good ones this year, take your time kids!” The woman pointed towards the back of the store with the large display of several Christmas trees loaded down with ornaments to pick from. With barely contained excitement, you linked your fingers with Bob and dragged him towards the display.
“Have any idea what you are looking for this year?”
“Yes! Since we have officially moved here now that you’ve got a permanent assignment, I wanted to find one that has to do with your job. Can’t be that hard to find being in Fightertown, USA, right?” You mumbled, walking around the first tree in deep concentration. Your eyes squinting the further up you looked at the tree before moving to the middle one. “What about you, what were you thinking?”
“I’ll know it when I see it.” When you looked over at him all you could see was his undying affection shining back at you. The added twinkle of the Christmas lights surrounding you both added a soft glow, bounced off the ornaments and added streaks of color and prisms along his flight suit. The smell of cinnamon, cranberries, and jet fuel made you light headed for all the right reasons. God, you love this man.
Right above his head on the tree in front of him was the perfect ornament! “There! Grab that one.” You squealed, reaching your hand out and pointing out the pilot helmet with red and green stripes. Bob shook his head with a grin and got it down for you, placing it gently into your palm. “Now you need to find yours.”
Bob’s real ornament was already waiting on their tree at home but he would gladly buy a dozen more to make sure it was always full of memories. Walking slowly around the next tree, he crouched down to see the ones on the lowest hanging branches with more clarity and immediately his eyes were drawn to a glass ball with the colors of the northern lights all around it. He immediately held it up with a triumphant smile, “This one. When we went to Fairbanks to see my sister in September, we saw the northern lights for the first time together.”
“It’s beautiful, Bobby,” you said, gently clasping the bottom of the ball with your fingertips for closer inspection. “Let’s get home so we can put these on the tree. We can put on your favorite Christmas movie and curl up under the blanket on the couch, sound good?”
“Sounds like the perfect way to spend Christmas Eve.” He leads you up to the cash register, paying for the ornaments quickly while chatting with the shop owner before walking you to your car.
The drive home was quick, and his nerves were still nowhere to be found. This was the right thing for them, he knew it, he felt it. Why didn’t he do this sooner? Why wait so long to start their ever after? 
Turning the lights on for the tree he watched as you carefully unwrapped each ornament, yours being placed on top of the tree, as far as your arms could reach. As soon as you picked up his, he wrapped an arm around your waist from behind and pointed to the middle of the tree. “How about right there, Darling? Looks like the perfect spot.”
He watched as you reached out and put the ornament where he pointed to before your whole body froze, gently holding the glass ball in place. He felt the long intake of breath that filled your chest, pressing further into his chest before letting go of the new colorful glass ball knowing it was secure. With a silent gulp that made his adams apple bob in his throat, he wrapped his other arm around you tightly.
In the center of the tree was a gold and silver ball, designed to open in the center just like a ring box. Inside there was a plush velvet black pillow holding the most beautiful thing you had ever seen.
“Darling, I want to continue this tradition and make new ones with you for the next fifty years. I want to make sure you know every single day how much I need you, how much I love you. I’ve always known you were it for me, nobody else is ever going to love me the way you do and nobody is going to be able to complete you the way that I do. I’m sorry it took me this long, and I want no more excuses. Marry Me.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. It was a fact. It was a confident declaration. 
Gently reaching out to the custom ornament, he pulled the beautiful vintage ring from its pillowed cushion. A thin gold band held an array of diamonds. A clear and beautiful round stone in the center surrounded by another circle of smaller round diamonds. The outer row is arranged like a sunburst. He saw it in an antique store two months before while you were searching for the perfect table for your entryway. He bought it the second your back was turned because he immediately thought of you. His sunshine. His Darling.
You felt the thin band wrap around your finger and settle at the base like it was always meant to be there. You couldn’t take your eyes off of it no matter how much your brain screamed at you to turn around and wrap yourself around this beautiful man that you had forever to spend with, so you did the next best thing. Grabbing his hand tightly in your own you whispered your own declaration, “It will always be yes.”
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synergysilhouette · 2 months ago
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Not trying to start anything, but I did wanna get this off my chest about Disney's biggest sequels
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It's worth noting that in my opinion (and in the opinion of many others), both "Frozen 2" and "Moana 2" were extremely flawed films, for reasons most people know about. That said, there were bright points with the films, where one was perhaps stronger than the other. I'd like to discuss how both of them stacked up.
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The music--This is a low blow, but regardless, "Frozen 2" wins this, easily. This isn't to say the music for "Moana 2" is bad (nowhere near as bad as "Wish"), but it doesn't have the same spark. "Frozen 2" had the benefit of having the same team of directors, writers, and songwriters as the first film, while "Moana 2" didn't (well, the screenwriter returned, but he became co-screenwriter) due to the fact that it was originally planned to be a show before Bob Iger made the decision to upgrade it to a full-length feature film. While not a bad idea, this was done at the last minute, and while "Frozen 2" had their own production issues, it was of a different kind, and the team was better-equiped. The team for "Moana 2"--including the songwriters--didn't have the time necessary to restructure the film to better fit an epic sequel, which led to (among other things) average music.
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The Animation--This may be an unpopular opinion, but I find the animation for "Frozen 2" to be superior. Between the originals, "Moana" wins thanks to the colorful aesthetic. Both sequels lean towards a darker or paler color scheme, though for "Frozen 2" it's perhaps as a reference to fall, while "Moana 2" was moreso situational. That said, I felt like there were moments in "Moana 2" that felt a bit overrun with purples and greens (though the green is mainly when Moana and co. are trapped), and to my SHOCK, I actually thought the color use would've been better suited for a 2D film, in contrast to the first film, which I felt like was a love letter to 3D. (No shade to either animation style; I love both equally). The darkness in both films seems to befit the darker tones both are going for, but I think it works in favor of "Frozen 2" more than "Moana 2."
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The new characters--This is where they're equal: they're all plot devices. In "Frozen 2," the Northuldra Tribe's plight serve as the backbone for the conflict of the story, and their knowledge of the spirits of the land serve as motivation for the potential solution. However, they aren't really characters unto themselves. Despite Yelena being the leader, Honeymaron being the one to talk to Elsa, and Ryder bonding with Kristoff over reindeers (it's sad to me that they had more chemistry than Kristoff and Anna this movie), none of the characters are involved as...well, characters. Their sole existance is to point the cast--mainly Elsa--in the direction of their quest, rather than joining them on their quest. And Arendelle's Royal Guard adds nothing, literally nothing, to the story, so their inclusion isn't really necessary.
With "Moana 2," it's more or less the same. Moana provides logical reasons for her crew: Kele is a farmer and can provide the team with food while on their venture, Loto is a craftsman and can help keep the ship in shape, and Moni is big and strong. However, none of them are particularly characterized beyond their one trope of being grumpy, smart, or excited, so it's kind of a waste of good ideas. None of them have their own motivations or fleshed-out perspectives despite joining Moana on her quest, and it still feels like a Moana and Maui adventure. Giving Moana a sister felt like a waste since they don't bond, and Moana's risks and motivations would've been the same if she was an only child, since she'd still worry about her parents and village. Matangi is set up to appear as a villain, but turns out to be a prisoner who helps Moana, albeit not in a way that was as deep as it could've been with her whole "there's always another way to do things" perspective. And Nalo lacks Te Fiti's purpose, instead just being a random angry storm god who lacks any particular personality, metaphor, or interesting characteristics besides being a storm for most of the film.
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The Story--Weirdly enough, "Moana 2" wins this. While "Frozen 2" has a better journey, "Moana 2" has a more clear end goal; there's no confusing mystery or plot expansion we have to work on. Moana has to unite the islands, and Elsa has to find out the identity of the voice who's calling her. The "who" and "what" is a lot clearer than "Moana 2," especially since it ties into the first film.
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The Darkness and communicating the messages--Definitely "Frozen 2." While Elsa's self-discovery may have been a bit familiar, Anna's was new territory, exploring what life means for her when she's become codependent on the only family member she has left, and they die. She manages to overcome it in a beautiful song, though she isn't uplifted, just determined. "Moana 2" fails to do this. The message is pretty similar to the cultural identity motif of the first film, though nothing in the film really capitalizes on the idea of losing your identity or turning your back on your culture. As for the darkness, Moni almost dies, and it's a pretty depressing moment, but Maui sings a pep talk song, and suddenly everyone's ready to roll. There isn't really a processing of stress or failure in this moment, and the song isn't even a growing song like "I am Moana" where it starts off sad but grows to be empowering.
Overall, I think both films needed more work (though Disney's whims have played a part in that), but "Frozen 2" had a better foundation and execution, in contrast to "Moana 2, which just felt simple and average.
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lady-shadow-and-darkness · 5 months ago
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Why not leave?
I find it interesting how almost all the higher ups in the mafia don't really wish to be there, but despite having more than enough power and resources to leave, they don't.
Kouyou has been an executive since 15 (at least), and throughout those seven years I find it impossible to believe that she never thought about leaving. In fact, this is even addressed in this manga by Mori himself, to which she just responds with something lighthearted. Her earlier escape attempt was a fail, yes, but surely she understands that things are much different this time?
It is not her capability which is preventing her, but rather her mindset. And while this also ties into her responsibility, it is also important to note that she may very well believe that she can never truly be rid of the mafia and its teachings. It took an immense amount of reassurance for her to trust Kyouka in the hands of the agency, and even then, very reluctantly.
To Kouyou, I don't think that's a demonstration to her that she can leave, but rather a reminder of what she couldn't achieve in the past. And now, she most likely thinks that the mafia's influence on her is too deep to be shed off. She says as much herself to Kyouka, who has barely been in the mafia for 2 years at that point. Imagine what she thinks of herself. I do think that her duty to the mafia also makes her stay, she acknowledges that she's an important piece in their operations and jokes that it would fall apart without her. She has accepted her role in the mafia, and knows thinks it's too late to get out.
Mori, the leader himself, despite being...well, the leader, simply views his role in the mafia as necessary. He doesn't want to be the PM boss, his life in BEAST is clearly indicative of what he actually wants (you can't tell me an 'inherently evil person' ends up taking care of an orphanage in some universe), but he knows that he is the person best equipped to handle this role. His strategy of the "optimal solution", speaks to his neutrality and general capability of remaining apathetic towards necessary events which would most likely break someone else emotionally and mentally.
This isn't to say that he doesn't have any emotions, the man has a lot of them, it's just that he's incredibly adept at putting them aside and dealing with a situation completely unbiased. Fukuzawa acknowledges in canon that despite their great differences, a common motive that they share is the well-being of their city. In fact, Mori's making a HUGE sacrifice in his life just to maintain the workings of Yokohama. That's something you have to respect.
Chuuya is more of a complicated case. A lot of people in the fandom seem to disagree over whether he wants to stay or leave, but the answer is a bit more complex than the black and white ones we've been looking at. I'll be addressing this separately later, but for now, about Chuuya : I personally think that it is both, and he has conflicting feelings on this situation.
To start with, unlike Kouyou, we actually know when Chuuya came to be affiliated with the mafia. And that in itself isn't the most ideal set of circumstances, he had just been betrayed by his friends (who essentially raised him) because of a situation clearly orchestrated by the mafia (specifically Dazai, the one person he was coming to trust and resonate with), and more or less forced to be a new recruit. From stormbringer, we know that Chuuya's incentive for not leaving came from his need to protect his friends (who had already betrayed and backstabbed him at this point) from the mafia.
Any sane person would assume that Chuuya absolutely abhors the mafia at this point, but this isn't the case. Despite having his friends' lives hung over his head, he was still able to respect Mori and what he was working for (especially since he considered his own period of 'leadership' to be a failure). He was still able to care about the lives of his comrades and underlings who were also a part of the mafia (depicted in the dragon head incident). And he was still able to remain loyal to the mafia despite the several hardships and burns he faced for it.
Aside from his respect (and possible admiration) for Mori and the mafia itself, Chuuya's a person who's really attached to his relationships with people. He doesn't just respect the mafia, he also views it as his family. He has formed bonds with Kouyou, Mori, Dazai (shhh I don't want to hear anything), Akutagawa, Hirotsu...and even Gin, Tachihara and Higuchi. I mean, is there any known character in the mafia who this man doesn't know? He probably even knew Kyouka before she left. The only exception to this is Kyuusaku, and even that is because of his attachment to people (he's mad because Q, directly or indirectly, caused the death of his subordinates). He talks about burying his subordinates personally and contacting their families, if that isn't care, I don't know what is.
I think his arc with the mafia supporting him unanimously in stormbringer helped strengthen his attachment to it, which is why we've got the epilogue of him seeing his biological parents and declaring that the mafia is his true family in that LN. It's safe to say that he appreciates what he has right now a lot. But does that really mean he doesn't want to leave? In the very same light novel, it is ALSO implied that Chuuya longs for a life outside of the mafia. Hell, we literally have a character who was dedicated to bringing him to the light. And now, there is no risk associated with it either. But he chooses to stay. Or maybe the choice was never his.
With all of that said, I think it's incredible how BSD manages to portray what it's like for someone to lead a life of crime in the dark somewhat realistically in terms of feelings. It isn't some "badass mafia person" aesthetic (even though some people interpret it that way), it actually depicts the complexities that come with being associated with a criminal organisation in a fictional setting (to the best of its ability). Literally nobody in the mafia wants to be there, they just have to be. Sure, it offers them resources and opportunities which is why they choose to stay, but as an ability user, if they don't have the choice of living a normal life with the opportunities offered to an average person, do they really have a choice about being in the mafia at all?
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elen-aranel · 1 year ago
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Helloo~ May I make a Christopher Pike x reader request? It's a month old scuttlebutt, that the captain is involved with you, based solely on misconstrued events (leaving the direction of his quarters early morn in a rumpled uniform, stopping by medbay for a 'shot') Everyone knows that everyone knows, from cadet to captain. Except you don't. And noone has bothered checking. And the captain finds it funny (and you 'apparently' don't mind either as you've not bothered to shoot it down) so any moments you two have in view of others, he gives you a conspirational wink with some flirty banter. You think (hope) he's really flirting and not just being friendly.
Is it a bit much for a request? If so lemme know. Or i can commission? Idk. The idea hit me and it made me giggle with all the ways it could go.
Thank you so much for the request, and for your patience... this took a while! I hope you like the direction I've gone with it <333
Common Knowledge
Pairing: Christopher Pike x F!Reader (no Y/N) Warnings/Notes: Reader wears the dress version of the standard SNW uniform. Food mentions, alcohol mention. WC: 5.8k
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It all starts the morning after you spent gamma shift in a Jeffries tube. Well. Several Jeffries tubes, in fact, chasing down an issue with a relay that had blown and taken a bunch of circuitry out with it, including some life support systems.
You’re feeling good, though, as you step out into the corridor on a deck full of crew quarters. Yes, your red uniform dress is creased and you’re in dire need of a shower, but the relay and the burned-out circuitry are replaced, and all systems are back online.
You deserve a water shower, not a sonic one, you tell yourself as you head toward the turbolift, nodding to the occasional officer as you walk by them. You just need to make sure the ops console on the bridge is reading everything correctly, then your duty shift will be done.
“Commander, Lieutenant,” you greet Lieutenant Commander Chin-Riley and Lieutenant Ortegas as you enter the turbolift. Unlike you, they both look fresh and ready to face the day. Number One nods in greeting, but Ortegas looks you up and down quite blatantly, and you find you’re trying to smooth your skirt despite yourself.
“Long night?”
“I—” you start, but before you can reply—
“Computer, hold. Open the doors,” Commander Chin-Riley says, and as you turn, Captain Pike is walking into the lift. And somehow, even though you’ve been on the Enterprise for a while, you’re never not struck by his presence. His broad shoulders. How handsome he is.
“Good morning, Number One, Ortegas. Lieutenant.” He puts an odd weight on your title, even though of course he knows your name, and then your mind goes blank as he winks one of those blue eyes.
“C-captain,” you stutter, well aware of Ortegas trying to stifle a laugh next to you.
“Sleep well?” Una asks, something knowing in her voice, after the captain directs the turbolift to the bridge.
“I’ve had… more restful nights,” he says, and looks at you sideways, doubtless taking in your rumpled dress and less-than-fresh appearance. “Like the lieutenant here, I’d wager,” he adds, and you must have missed a memo somewhere because this ‘lift ride has gotten very weird, very fast.
You decide keeping quiet is your best bet — it’s a short ride, thank goodness.
But you can’t shake the feeling that there are eyes on you as you finish your work on the bridge.
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It may have started in a Jeffries tube, but it continues in sickbay.
You appreciate knowing sickbay is there. Doctor M'Benga and Nurse Chapel are skilled at their jobs, and you’ve had cause to be grateful for them when accidents happen, from a pulled muscle during a workout to a painful plasma burn from faulty equipment.
That doesn’t mean you love getting your quarterly check-up and shots. But you decided early on in your career that you weren’t going to be one of those people doctors had to chase for their physicals. Every three months you turn up. You’re due for routine vaccinations against some common alien viruses that human immune systems need reminders about, and your contraceptive shot.
Not that you really need it, of course. You aren’t getting any. The closest you’ve been since you joined the Enterprise was Lieutenant Paulson, a senior engineer who sometimes commands gamma shift when you’re on that rotation. He asked you out to dinner on Starbase 1, and while you like him as a person, you had to decline. You’d known him for a while, and never felt any kind of spark. And there’s been no-one— there’s been almost no-one else on the ship that you’re interested in. But still, you get your shot.
Today your appointment is during your shift. You didn’t want to be interrupted; you’re working on a new scanning device to be used on a planet with an unusual combination of atmosphere and magnetic field, which affects the resolution of normal scanners. So when your reminder went off you kept hold of your PADD, and you carried on entering the design parameters as you walked.
“Woah there,” a voice cuts through the equations you’re focussing on, and you feel hands on your arms, steadying you as you stumble.
As it turns out, walking with a PADD is a mistake.
Especially when you walk straight into the captain in the corridor outside sickbay.
“Captain! I’m so sorry! I—I was— I’ll pay more attention.” You look up, flustered, into his blue eyes, suddenly keenly aware of the bulk of him, of the controlled strength in his hands.  Happily, he seems amused rather than annoyed, that half smile playing about his lips.
“I do admire your... dedication, Lieutenant, but you’re right. Paying attention is a good idea.”
And as the doors to sickbay swish open, letting Chief Kyle and one of your fellow engineers out onto the corridor, you realise the captain hasn’t moved. You’re still in his space, and he’s still holding you.
“Captain, Lieutenant... are you joining us?” Nurse Chapel looks as though she’s suppressing a smile. “You’re, uh... both here for your quarterly shots, right?” she adds, as Pike finally steps back, and you walk with him into sickbay. You nod, mutely.
“Yes. Timed it perfectly this time, didn’t we Lieutenant?” he says, and he grins at you, knowing.
“Sure,” you find yourself saying, sitting down a little abruptly on the biobed Doctor M'Benga indicates. Is Pike… flirting with you? Or just being his usual warm self?
“This shouldn’t take too long. I’m sure you want to get back to your... duties.” M'Benga looks meaningfully at Pike, who shrugs, a picture of innocence.
“Can you blame us?”
You can’t help your smile.
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But actually, now you really think about it, maybe you’re wrong.  Maybe it started with the onions.
You have a shift free, moving from nights to days as you do on a semi-regular basis, since some edict came down from Starfleet that people shouldn’t just work nights for health reasons. It doesn’t entirely make sense to you; you’re on a ship, so it’s not like anyone has a real day or night, but being able to socialise with people who are always on alpha is a plus, and you suppose the same rules apply to planetary bases which do have day and night.
The captain has invited you to dinner. That isn’t special, even though you wish it were – he likes to get to know the whole crew in an informal setting, and it’s just your turn. And maybe you over-think it just a little, during the day, planning what to wear to make yourself look pretty but not like you’d tried too hard.
Either way, you are early. You only realise as you press the chime for the door, when it’s too late to back out.
But the captain’s smile is warm and welcoming. “Hi, come in, come in. You any good with a vegetable knife?”
You grin in return, relaxing. “Yes sir. It’s been a little while, but I can chop.”
“Chris. We’re not on the clock right now.”
“Yes, Chris.” You follow him into the kitchen area of his quarters, taking in the fire, the view of a green forest through the windows, all the details that mark the space as his.
“Excellent. That spatial anomaly today— well. I’m playing catch-up here.”
“Oh wow, you really are...” the vegetables are all laid out ready, and there are a lot. But then, you don’t know how many people will be here. “Set me to work. How do you want the carrots?”
Pike’s knives are sharp and well balanced, and it’s easy to chop carrots into even circles, and to dice potatoes into neat cubes. You chat, too, about the food he’s making, and the special unit he had the ship’s botanists set up to let him grow fresh herbs in space.
You’re pretty much on autopilot by the time you get to the onions. You know the technique: you slice them in half through the root, then make sure you don’t cut the root again as you cut from close to the root to the tip, then across into chunks.
“So, there’s something I’m curious about,” you say as you grab the next onion.
“Oh?” Pike pauses for a moment, hand poised over the control for the oven.
“The forest overlay you have for the windows. Is it somewhere special to you? It’s really lovely.” You blink a little as you chop. Perhaps you got a lash or something in your eye.
Pike presses the control on the oven, then turns to look at you. “No, actually it’s—” he frowns. “Wait, are you all right?”
You blink again. “Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” Your brow draws together, and you put your knife down, turning to him a little more.
“Because you’re crying.” He starts towards you.
“Oh, damn.” You can feel it now — that tell-tale sting in your eyes. You look down at your chopping. “The onions. But I was being careful.” You sigh, blink again, and feel a tear roll down your cheek.
“If there are a lot it doesn’t matter how careful you are. I’m sorry, I should have done them.” He reaches past you, and you’re terribly aware of him in your space. He pulls off a piece of kitchen towel.
 “It’s not your fault—” the words die on your lips as he turns to face you, blue eyes filled with concern.
“I’ll just—I don’t want you to use your hands—” and he takes the towel and dabs your face, and you suck a little breath in at his closeness, wondering why it has to be in a circumstance like this, when the door chime goes. “Enter,” he says, distractedly, blotting away one more tear before stepping back. “There. No harm done. But you should wash up. Ah, Spock, perhaps you can take over the chopping.”
You look round to see that Spock, Sam Kirk, Ortegas and Uhura have all walked in, just in time to see you with red eyes from the onions. At least, you think as you wash the onion off your hands, your makeup is waterproof.
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Regardless of how things did or did not start, you’re pretty sure the captain only thinks of you as a friend. That this flirting is just a joke between the two of you... even if you wish it were real. Either way, you decide you might as well enjoy it.
You get back to the transport point from your solo hike on Chi Orianis Prime – it’s beautiful, with fluffy peachy-pink grass that’s soft underfoot and smells very slightly citrus-y when you tread on it, interspersed with lavender coloured bushes, with views of blue lakes and red mountains in the distance – right as Pike gets back from his fishing trip. Given how he’s carrying his cooler, it must have been a successful one.
You’re just about to ask him about it when Chapel and Ortegas arrive, with Uhura and La’an in tow, laughing together. They’re wearing t-shirts and shorts and sandals, carrying towels — clearly back from the beach, La’an actually looking like she might have caught the sun a little.
You take a step closer to him.
“Enjoy your trip?” The smile on Erica’s face is just a little too innocent.
“Yes, thank you. Wouldn’t have been the same without the lieutenant here, though.” Pike catches your eye, and you smile back at him, sappy, playing along.
“The captain’s right. We had a good time.”
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None of your close friends wanted to go to movie night with you tonight. They’re showing a classic 20th century Earth film, Casablanca, and none of them were interested in seeing something that old. But it seems pretty popular with the rest of the crew when you get there. You pick up some popcorn first, wondering once again whose idea it was to put a Starfleet delta on the containers, and you head to find a seat.
Maybe it was a good thing your friends didn’t come. There aren’t too many spaces left when you go to sit down, but there are a few seats a couple of rows in front of where Spock and Nurse Chapel are sitting together. You settle in, allowing yourself three pieces of popcorn before the lights go down.
And right before they do, Pike slides into the free seat next to you.
“I thought you were going to stand me up,” you tell him, tilting your popcorn container over.
“A gentleman would never,” he replies, and you can hear the smile in his voice as he takes a piece.
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The back of the shuttle is open to the bay, and Cadets Novakova and Manuel, on engineering rotation, are standing inside it with you, PADDs in hand. You’ve popped a panel off the inside of the shuttle, and you indicate a junction point.
“So, okay. You want to interplex the circuitry here. What will be the result of that? What are you hoping to achieve?”
“Well, the increased signal strength will improve thruster response time and efficiency.” Manuel says, shrugging his broad shoulders like it’s obvious.
“Yes, and we need better responsiveness for the planet. The atmospheric differentials are almost out of spec.” Novakova nods. “This is the easiest way to achieve that.”
“All right. And looking at the systems in front of you, will there be any other consequences?”
“No, there shouldn’t, it should just—” there’s a pause, then Novakova steps back, playing with a twist of her blonde hair as she considers. “Wait. That pathway, it connects to the impulse engine as well, doesn’t it?”
“Yes, it does, and the boosted signal would go through there too…” Manuel’s fingers fly over his PADD.
They look at each other as the penny drops, and you notice Pike in the bay, listening in. You tilt your head and raise a brow in a silent invitation, but he shakes his head a little, content to observe.
“So if we interplex the circuitry there, we will get an increase in thruster efficiency, but at the expense of introducing instability into the impulse control matrix.” Manuel sighs.
“You’re flying along, minding your business and then boom. Impulse reactor overload.” Novakova winces. “I didn’t see that.”
You nod. “You didn’t. Because neither of you really looked. For what it’s worth, it would probably have worked on the shuttles at the academy. But these are a different model. You have to work with what’s actually in front of you. That’s half the battle.”
“Wise words, Lieutenant.” Pike leans into the back of the shuttle, and you can’t help your smile at the praise as the cadets turn to acknowledge him. “The two of you should take them to heart.”
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You're sitting on a bench in the bar, sipping a favourite drink, listening to Ensign Thyra play an Earth guitar but sing a wistful sounding song in her native Andorian, when Lieutenant Ortegas sits down next to you. And then Nurse Chapel sits on your other side.
“So, you and the captain. How’s that going?” Christine’s opening is straight to the point.
You give her a sceptical look. “It... isn’t? Hi to you too, by the way.” You turn to Erica. “To both of you.”
“Oh, come on. You guys are not subtle.” Erica rolls her eyes. “It’s been scuttlebutt for weeks. Me, Number One,” she starts counting off on her fingers, “Christine, Mbenga, Uhura...”
“Sam Kirk,” Christine adds.
“Yes, Sam Kirk, Spock, La’an...”
 “We’ve all seen it. I even heard the cadets talking about it. Everyone knows.”
You shake your head, putting your drink down on the table in front of you. “We’re not... I don’t—” you look from one to the other. “There’s nothing between the captain and me.” You take a breath. “He flirts, sometimes I flirt back, but it’s just a joke.”
“Doesn’t look like a joke to me.” Christine says, her voice soft, almost sympathetic.
Erica shrugs. “It’s okay. You don’t have to admit it, if you guys are keeping things to yourselves... We just wanted you to know that we’re happy for you. Pike should have someone on the ship. And you. You should have someone too.” Her smile as she stands to leave is genuine.
“I—I’m not hiding anything. But thanks, I guess? I appreciate the sentiment.”
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Arriving early when the captain invites you to a crew dinner is your habit now. You enjoy helping with prep when you can, and having a quiet moment to chat with Chris.
But this time you use the computer to check that others have arrived before you get there. You try to relax; these are your friends, Chris is your friend, but with what Erica and Christine said… you feel self-conscious. Second guessing everything you do and say.
 You leave as soon as you can without being rude.
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You feel a bit self-conscious with work, too, although you try to bury it. Especially with Pike piloting the shuttle for this mission. You’re sitting in your tactical uniform in the back of shuttle Kepler with Spock, Sam Kirk, La’an, and a couple more science officers. You would expect Kirk especially to pass some comment, but even he is quiet, because Zeta Lyrae VI’s wind shear is every bit as bad as science predicted.
A long-range scanning probe identified it as a possible source of dilithium as well as some other useful minerals — visual scan only, though, because the strange magnetic field prevented scanning of the interior. But that’s where the scanner you developed comes in. The visual scan also tagged some potential ruins which Kirk will investigate, and there’s general surveying to do too.
You grit your teeth against the turbulence. You trust that the captain’s piloting skills and the modifications you and the cadets made to the shuttle will see you safely to the ground, but you still feel motion sick. You know, though, there are pattern enhancers in the cargo. Perhaps you’ll be able to beam back up.
The turbulence lessens as you get deeper into the atmosphere, but you’re still very glad when the shuttle touches down. There’s a metallic tang to the air as the shuttle door opens, but it’s cool and refreshing despite that, and you take a deep breath, settling your rolling stomach, before you get to work.
The dawn sky of Zeta Lyrae IV is muted shades of pale blue and grey, warming a little to mauve-pink at the horizon, where the two suns have just risen. Barren-looking plains stretch out in front of you, with a river lazily meandering across, and there are hills leading to mountains not far away to your right. It’s hard to make out, but the lines of dark stones partially embedded in the ground to your left could well be the remains of a wall, and there are other, more defined structures further away in that direction.
“Lieutenant, you have everything you need?”
“Yes sir.” You lift your last case again, the heavy one, and try to keep your face blank at the weight of it. You know you’ll be feeling it tomorrow, but its contents were too large for your backpack. “I’ve identified a site two kilometres away that’s suitable for the scanner base. Enhanced scanning should be online within an hour.”
Pike nods. “Kirk, La’an, you have the ruins. Spock, the science survey is yours.” He turns to you. “Let me help with that.”
“I’m fine, honestly,” you protest as Pike takes the case from you, fingers brushing yours for one tiny electric moment.
“We’ll make quicker time if we share the load. Which I’m sure Spock will appreciate.”
“Aye, sir.”
You notice that there’s no flirtatious comment today.
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This planet feels a bit like a dream, with its dead quiet, muted colours, pearly grey sky and the two suns gently highlighting the landscape. The only evidence you can see of the turbulent atmosphere are the occasional blue-green clouds scudding quickly across the sky.
You pick your way through the pathless terrain, looking for any signs of life. While there are scraps of ragged looking vegetation here and there, a lot of it seems dead, and the planet as a whole seems mostly barren.
You don’t make conversation; there’s something about the planet’s quiet and your confused emotions that steals your ability to make small talk, and Pike is quiet too. There’s just the sound of two pairs of boots crunching on the ground.
Until you almost step on a flower: a seven petaled bloom in the shape of a star, pale blue in the middle deepening to grey-purple just at the tips. You pause to get a better look, to see if there are any others like it nearby, but it seems solitary.
“Are you all right, Lieutenant?”
You look up to see Pike has stopped too, mild concern on his face.
“Yes sir, I’m fine.” You straighten up. “I just... this flower is the only one I’ve seen, and I wonder... is it the last gasp of the life that used to live on this planet, or is it a glimpse of hope for the future?”
Pike glances at the flower, but his focus is on you when he speaks. “We’ll likely never know, but I... I choose hope.”
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The site you chose from the visual scan is obvious when you get there. You’re at the edge of the hills, and there’s a grey cliff curving round one edge of a flat open area. Geophysics had identified it as a potential location for dilithium, and as you get close you can see veins of the pink crystal running through the rock.
Now you just need to find out how much there is.
With Pike helping it doesn’t take too long to set the scanner up. You start with the base in the case he was carrying, and together you fold it out into a large circle, locking struts and its three legs in place.
You attach the probe that will drill into the soil, the antennas to communicate with the smaller unit near the shuttle and with the Enterprise, and to facilitate scanning in the atmosphere. Finally, you attach the computer from your backpack which is the brains of the system — you can’t help your private smile of satisfaction as it comes online. The shuttle is far enough away that its systems don’t affect the sensitive scans, and when the probe deploys and calibration data flows straight through immediately.
You talk to Commander Pelia and Lieutenant Spock on comms, making adjustments on the fly to the different parameters, optimising the uplink from the scanner and away team’s tricorders to the Enterprise.
Pike checks in with La’an at some point, but next time you look up you see he’s a little way away, tricorder out, following a standard scanning pattern working outward from where you are. You’re a little surprised he didn’t tell you that’s what he was going to do. Then the scanner beeps as the drill returns a result outside expected tolerances, pulling your focus.
It’s easier to get lost in your work than think about him, and for a long while, you do.
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“Lieutenant, do you see that?” There’s a note of concern in Pike’s voice, and you follow his gaze to the horizon to your right.
It almost looks like a distant rain shower would on Earth, but there are green lights sparking all through it. Like lightning but less directional. You take a breath, and realise the metallic smell has intensified, to the point you can almost taste it.
“Yes, sir, I do.” You turn and meet Pike’s eyes.
“Plasma storm?”
“Plasma storm.” You redirect your scanner’s gain to maximum in that direction, sacrificing resolution elsewhere.
Pike’s tone is rueful. “Should’ve known when I scanned a burned patch of vegetation. It must have developed quickly.”
“Looks like it’s moving fast, too.”
“I’ll contact the rest of the away team, have them meet us at the shuttle. You start packing.”
“Sir,” you reply, distracted, already deep in the scanner readouts. You vaguely hear Pike calling Spock, then La’an, but you’re focused on one last scan.
“Lieutenant? I gave you an order.”
“Yes sir, you did, but look.” You point to the readout of the storm’s speed on the screen. “Scans show that even if we leave right now, we can’t make it back to the shuttle before the storm hits. We don’t even have time for them to pick us up.”
Pike frowns. “Options?”
“The cliff. There’s a cave system behind it. I don’t think there’s an entrance close enough, but...”
“Phasers? All this dilithium makes it risky.”
“Plasma burns are no fun, sir. I would know.”
He raises a brow. “Sounds like a story for later. All right. Let’s do this.”
You grab your phaser from your holster and dial the power up.
“Fire.”
You focus your beam on the weakest spot, and Pike fires at it too. And... nothing happens, for long enough for a shade of doubt to creep in. Then there’s a sound, a pile of rubble, and a gap. Just large enough for a person.
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The cave is dark. It’s big, too, enough that the torches on your vests can’t illuminate the other side from where you are.
The storm is still raging outside, but the sound of it is quiet in here; the narrow space you opened the gap into curved round for a few metres before opening out into the space you’re in.
Now all you can do is sit and wait.
And you’re so aware of Pike, sitting with you.
He’s quiet, and now you come to think of it he has been all day. Definitely no flirting. You try to steal a glance at him, see what he’s thinking, but it’s too dark, and you don’t want to turn to face him.
You cast around for a distraction, and find a piece of dilithium embedded in the rock floor of the cavern next to you. The surface is flat and glassy-smooth, but with a few imperfections, and you like the feel of it under your fingers. In your head you go over the dilithium crystal eigenstates you memorised at the academy in one of your classes in warp field mechanics, and calculate the power output you would need for your phaser to trigger different levels.
“Sir, I’d like to try something, to give us some more light. It’s safe.”
“Sure. Go ahead.”
You adjust your phaser to its second lowest setting, scoot across a little and fire on the dilithium, counting seconds in your head. It starts glowing red immediately, but as you shut the beam off the glow spreads, along one vein, then another, then another, until the whole cavern is lit up like its own galaxy, surrounding you on the floor, the walls, the ceiling.
“Wow, that’s—that’s good work. Thank you.”
There’s something in his expression as he looks at you, the wonder in his eyes melting into a smile, that makes you brave.
“So… I had an—an interesting chat with Chapel and Ortegas the other day.”
“Oh?”
“Apparently the scuttlebutt is that we’re dating... we’ve been dating for a while. They wouldn’t believe me when I told them it wasn’t true.” You stare out across the cavern at all the glimmering lights.
“Oh.” He exhales. “Hah, yeah… I’m, uh, sorry about that? Things… got away from me.” You hear him stir, move into a different position.
You frown. “I don’t understand. What are you sorry for?”
“I’ve always been interested in you. And you’re not the sort of person that’s cowed by rank – Paulson is your superior, in your chain of command, but I was in the bar when he asked you to dinner, and you were so sure of yourself when you rejected him. So that day in the turbolift, Una and Erica jumping to conclusions... Your face was a picture, and I had to take Una’s bait. But by the time she told me there was already a rumour, you were joining in, and I—”
His voice goes quiet, like a confession.
“I couldn’t stop. And that wasn’t fair to you… making you an object of gossip like that.”
“Chris, I—” but now it comes to it, you can’t find the words. How do you tell him that you wouldn’t mind, not at all, if only the gossip were real? “But you did stop. We’ve barely spoken today. Until now.”
“I can read the room. You weren’t up for it the other night. Or today. And… I would never force my attentions where they clearly aren’t wanted.”
“But... they are, Chris. They are wanted.”
The cavern is dead quiet, and you almost wonder if you actually spoke aloud. But the look in Pike’s eyes when you finally turn to meet them—
“Lieutenant Spock to Captain Pike. Come in, please.”
Pike shrugs a little, face apologetic, as he flips open his communicator.
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The ride back to the Enterprise is as quiet, and bumpy, as the ride to the planet. Spock and the rest of the away team had sheltered in the shuttle with shields up while the storm passed over them, and when the Enterprise’s scanners had shown that another one was forming, they came to pick you up.
All the equipment you left outside was destroyed.
But you think, as you climb in the shuttle, you catch a glimpse of one of those star-shaped flowers, still intact. Still blooming.
And Pike makes a point to catch your eye as you leave the shuttle bay. It’s subtle, but you recognise the invitation.
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You think you can smell food as you press Pike’s door chime, and the scent only gets more appetising as you walk in. The lights are low, apart from the fire burning brightly, and Pike pauses, apron on over his gold uniform, to smile at you as you walk over to the kitchen area.
“You came.”
“Of course.”
He picks a small bottle up, and pours from it into a salad bowl in front of him. “I hope you’re hungry… I may have gone a little overboard on the mac and cheese. I thought we could use a little comfort food after that planet.”
“It smells amazing. Anything I can do to help?”
“It’s almost ready. You could pour the wine?” He indicates to the bottle and two glasses on one end of his L shape table. You uncork the chilled bottle and take care of the drinks while he brings plates, salad, and the macaroni cheese, piping hot and smelling delicious.
Sitting next to Chris, rather than opposite like you might at a restaurant or on the other side of the L as you have when you’ve been to crew meals here, feels so intimate. As he reaches over to get some salad, or you go to pick up your glass to sip some chardonnay, you can’t help but touch. You try not to let being this close to him distract you… as intimate as this is, as hopeful as you are, nothing is settled.
You take a bite of your pasta and sigh. “It’s perfect, Chris. Creamy, the cheese— everything. Perfect comfort food. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” You see him relax a little as you load up another forkful; he cares what you think.
You eat for a while in companionable quiet, then he takes a breath.
“I’m planning on demoting Spock. He has the worst timing.” He quirks one of those half smiles at you, the kind that make you melt a little, but then his expression goes serious.
“My position on this ship… I have to be careful of it. Your training – everyone’s training – tells you to do as I say. So, if I’m… interested… in someone, usually I try to set that aside.” He puts his fork down and shakes his head a little. “Clearly I didn’t do well on that score with you. But… I would have to be sure, before I truly pursue anything, that a person isn’t saying yes because of my rank.”
“I told myself that flirting was just a joke between us. That you don’t get involved with your crew. I want it to be real, but when people assumed that it was… It spooked me for a moment there.” You turn to face him more fully, to look into his eyes.
“I understand what it means for you to be Captain Pike. I understand that the Enterprise comes before me. But I felt that—that pull toward you, long before whatever this was started. It’s not your rank, your position of authority, Chris, it’s you.”
Chris stands from his chair, reaching a hand out to you. You stand and take it, his fingers warm in yours, and let him draw you to him, feeling the press of his body all along yours. You stare into his eyes, and see a wonder there that you’re sure he sees in your eyes too – the knowledge that you can finally have this. But then your eyes drift shut as he kisses you, gently, unhurried, savouring the moment.
You part for just a second, and then it gets passionate as you kiss him back, one hand on his chest, while his other hand finds its way to your lower back, holding you tighter. Your lips part, his tongue finds yours and you taste him, and you can’t get enough.
“So I know your shots are up to date,” Chris says, voice gravelly, when you pause for breath. “Would you like to take this to the bedroom?”
“Yes please.” You don’t care if you sound needy; you just want him. He takes your hand again and leads the way.
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You are not quite sure what happened to your dress. You remember Chris helping you take it off last night, but quite how it got this crumpled is a bit of a mystery. You lift it up from the floor, and try to shake it out, not very successfully.
“Breakfast is served,” Chris says, looking fresh and neat in his uniform, not a hair out of place. No evidence to be seen of your activities last night, or how little sleep he may have had. “Oh, did you want a new uniform? I can synthesise one.”
“No need. I’ll have time to change in my quarters before shift.” You pull it on and try to smooth your skirt. “Breakfast?”
“Waffles. And real maple syrup. I know this little farm—”
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It isn’t far from Pike’s quarters to the turbolift, and the officers in the corridor nod and smile to you as usual. Until you meet Lieutenant Ortegas.
She looks you up and down, taking in your creased dress with a raised brow and a sly smile. “I saw the duty rosters; I know you’re on alpha today. So… you get lucky last night?”
You try to hide your smile, but you feel too good – you don’t really want to.
“Yes, Erica, I did.”
Everyone will know, but you don’t mind. You and Chris are at the start of something special.
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