#i feel like i am about to get judged
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Okay okay I wasn't expecting to ever get asked to do something like this (wouldn't be surprised if it was also the last time) aaa how do I only choose 10 songs
Okay so before I start I don't think I'll tag anyone mostly because I'm scared of being annoying, but if you see this feel free to participate if you want
(also some of these didn't embed or at least that's how it looks like in the post editor and I have no idea why, sorry about that)
1. Aristotle's denial by Joe Hawley and Cojum Dip
I know joe hawley is a fairly decisive figure but I want to continue the first song being tally hall related theme and this song is really good (it even features cojum dip)
2. Cat Hacks by Lemon Demon
Not my favorite lemon demon song, but it's my name stake so I feel like including it is obligatory
https://open.spotify.com/track/5furpJBXj7zOfs8nh3ubzq?si=iK96XXkPRNOyT9r7PhMnOA
3. Playing By The Rules By Red Vox
I spent way too much time thinking about which red vox song to include because there's just so many great ones and they're all amazing for different reasons but I decided to settle on this one, for no particular reason other than me having to chose one
https://open.spotify.com/track/7ClLoABIQWf5UkGOv0to2k?si=6UtsIsBMRN-gVRoELBXRGA
4. Empire Ants by Gorillaz
This is a big shift from the other songs both musically and in terms of the popularity of the band/artist behind it but holy hell I love this song call me basic I don't care the midway transition is just amazing I love the melancholy of this one
5. Ana Ng by They Might Be Giants
TMBG was once again an artist I just knew I had to include but I had no idea which song to choose because of how many I would want to include if I could, so I decided to settle for a classic
6. Against the Kitchen Floor by Will Wood
I think I exclusively listened to this song on repeat for a week when the album it's from released, how could I not include it
https://open.spotify.com/track/12mfRQYsEi3PxLRaG3Xab9?si=M9OLyJrbS_OmJWPnRXQvtg
7. In The Face Of Evil by Magic Sword
I just think this song sounds really nice and it really comes together beautifully by the end with the guitar tightly holding everything together
https://open.spotify.com/track/6EfP7rkoR1L1OpDzKN5lXX?si=rtjfojBERVeKtuTKpbVN-g
8. Akrillic from Plok! by Tim Follin
Now you may be looking at this thinking to yourself, hey so uhh what the fuck is this? But please give it a try, you'll get it (I hope so anyway )
youtube
https://youtu.be/4mmn7siswJY?si=7y6DRdfx3apqbGM7
9. Llueve Sobre La Ciudad by Los Bunkers
I don't know what this song is about because my spanish is not good enough for me to be able to understand it but I've gathered that the title means something like it's raining over the city. I found this song by completely randomly and impulsively decided that fuck it I'll go listen to some latinoamerican rock and this was the first song I found and honestly it's really good (and popular I assume)
10. Šrouby a Matice by Mandrage
I felt like including a song from my own country especially since most of them aren't exactly known world wide, and this one had been one of my favorites ever since I first heard it back in 1st grade during a live performance by a couple 9th graders. Others probably won't think much of it but I like it
And that's it, I showed off 10 songs, some definitely more well known than others (and I assume from the perspective of others also better, I wouldn't blame you for not liking most of these, I am a very basic person, but I tried I really did)
I was tagged by @kores-pomegranate and asked to share 10 songs!
Before I begin, I would also like to tag @mx-menace, @generalb, @cathacker13, @kawaii-pigeon, @catofspades and @zynysm. Of course, you're free to participate whether I tagged you or not!
Now, without further ado, 10 songs I'd like to share 😊
1. 134340 Pluto by Cojum Dip. I know a handful of my followers are big Tally Hall fans, and this has to be one of my favorite songs from a Tally Hall adjacent artist!
2. Fine by The Walnuts. I found this person on tik tok when I used to use it back in like 2020 and have been obsessed with this song ever since
3. Jack Daniel's by Lil Darkie and Wendigo. I'm not usually big on actual country music, but I do like music inspired by country music. So a country-rap song with political commentary is right up my alley.
4. Around by Honey Cellar. A small folk band from Chicago that I saw on my birthday last year, they quickly took the spot as my most-played artist on spotify, and this is my most-played song of theirs. Maybe not my absolute favorite, but I feel like it would have broad appeal.
5. Paper Girls by Vertigo. This band I discovered in 2018 when a local band with the same name was recommended to me by someone who knew the members, but I ended up finding 3 different bands called Vertigo and liked this one the best!
6. Naked in your Arms by Subtle Pride and Silver & Smoke. Subtle pride features the nonbinary actor that plays Casey in Atypical, and you know I love to plug an enby
7. Panacea for the Poison by Flobots. These guys made that song Handlebars that everyone knew in the late 2000s and early 2010s.
8. Monster you Made by Pop Evil. These guys headlined at the first concert I ever went to and I got this album autographed by the whole band!
9. Pyrokinesis by 7chariot. My boyfriend showed me this song last month and I've listened to it like at least once a day since!
10. 157 by Tom Rosenthal. This song is kinda long and kinda stupid but I love it so much it's like a friend to me now.
Anyway, there's 10 songs I think you should listen to. Up to you if you wanna check them out or play along!
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im like the lorax when it comes to women's body hair. we should let it grow.
#eliot posts#the other day my roommate was talking abt how she hates shaving#but does it anyway bc she doesn't want people to be mean to her about her body hair#and i was like yeah i mean i used to#also worry about that bc my mother was always so fucking cruel to me when i didn't shave#but as an adult i find that it's extremely rare that anyone even mentions it (tho my body hair is pretty light so that could be a factor)#but even when people are shitty i find that i no longer give a shit about what what those idiots have to say about my body#but i understand that that can be a hard step to take so if you need to keep shaving for your own comfort then i won't judge#but on the inside i was just like#*ibuprofen hand meme* ''let's get called disgusting hairy d*kes together <3''#i had a great time showing off my pit hair at the pool today!#(i get read as a woman when im swimwear cuz i can't hide my body as much. so i get read as a hairy masculine woman.)#i show off my leg hair every time i wear shorts but like. my leg hair is Pathetic#i look practically prepubescent vis a vis my leg hair (my mother still calls it disgusting lmao)#but my pit hair is pretty good#i occupy a weird gendered place in society where i am more of a man in identify but society genders me as a woman#the only time i feel remotely okay being seen as a woman is when i am seen as a BAD woman. a woman who cannot/will not be A Proper Lady#it's not an entirely ACCURATE view of me but there's Something in it
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me and my sister was thinking of little master builders world building before tlm and we had the silly idea of — hey maybe they did lil fun games as moral when things looked dire ?
therefore, ✨ Brick-lympics ✨
i think they’d have little categories they’d all play in like ‘who can build the fastest?’ <- (consistently benny) or ‘who can build the most creative design?’ ‘who has the strongest build?’
n maybe in tlm2 or tlm if they weren’t invaded literally seconds after, Emmet joins in and probably switches between judging and building every now and again
#the lego movie#tlm#silly hcs yet again#the lego movie 2#it is just fact that benny builds the fastest in SPECIFCALLY spaceships#maybe they have to barr that theme of build because of him constantly winning and he gets pissed about it#i think when emmet joins everyone underestimates him a ton#and then when the structurally sound build comes along he clears everyone#construction builder guidelines cemented in his head#!!!#probably wins that so often he either does worse in order to have his friends win too#or maybe becomes a judge#probably people who are very good in those catagories become judges#emmet tries to judge and he is just way too nice#maybe they introduce new catagories after tlm like#who can follow the instructions the closest ??#porbably the hardest one out of them all#everyone (except emmet) hates it#i dunno what the prize would be though#maybe a medal like actual olympics?#or bragging rights?#cash ??#love thinking about masterbuilding worldbuilding i wanna know what they did for all those years#feel free to add any ideas i am#tired hwbhdbhwbudbhw
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dark justiciar shadowheart is genuinely so interesting to me as like... a facet to her character. like it really hammers home how desperate she is for shar's love and affection (+ the validation and love from other worshipers of shar). like in a lot of ways I get that it seems shocking to others / some fans because it really does contradict some of the morals we see her express BUT imo that just speaks to the level of desperation she feels. her comments on how shar "must" love her for her to survive the shadowcursed lands, or the bit where she talks about shar nurturing her and loving her and sounds... almost more like shes trying to convince herself more than shes trying to convince you. theres a bit about other sharrans not thinking she had earned her name, and of course the mother superior not thinking she was ready / worthy of being a dark justiciar. like shes just so completely desperate to feel unconditionally and securely loved, and to earn the approval of others that shes entirely willing to injure herself in the process (as well as.... the people who actually love her, of course).
not to mention that mechanically, afaik, she can only end up there if shes encouraged to by the player. ie... she needs to know someone else approves.
#CHEWING ON GLASS ABOUT HER BTW IF YOU EVEN CARE!!!!#shadowheart is the character EVER dude im so unwell about her#also this is not me judging her at all. shes just like me fr fr on this#baldur's gate#bg3 spoilers#bg3#baldur's gate 3#shadowheart#my post#eta: at risk of projecting here she seems so like. disorganized attachment to me. like that NEED to be loved#and craving that approval and fearing ur not good enough to get it#BUT ALSO being so scared to trust people in the first place that its hard to ever get that love#and kind of. how prone she is to rapidly going from total love and trust and openess about her feelings to just#completely walling off the player character if they say something she deems mildly uncomfortable or unsavory#oughhhh#im unwell man i am. simply unwell.#also tbh these tags are a fun game in: disorganized attachment style or bpd? why not both! sjdbdbdg
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"We get to, this season, explore their chemistry and their real love and their intimacy. So we get to have a glimpse into that world that just feels so pure and beautiful and romantic! And then, sort of navigating those other circumstances once they're out in the world, dealing with real... challenges." - Isa in an interview with The Knockturnal(x)
#outer range s2#outer range s2 spoilers#maria olivares#rhett abbott#isabel arraiza#lewis pullman#there was an article that said that maria and rhett may screw royal over? i say they should go for it! /hj#rhett x maria#i know the last gif is blurry but trust me she was holding his arm and i just thought that was adorable#i might add a lew quote if he ever gets asked about outer range s2 in an interview smh(i'm begging someone to ask him more about it!)...#the biggest fucking grin on her face whenever they kiss#her smile and him smiling back at her before the forehead kiss is EVERYTHING to me#also her little smile as he kisses the side of her head like she knows he's doing his best but knows that it's unlikely that he's leaving..#truly if it gives isa and lew more screen time i'm all for it!#i say all this but i still want a spin-off of them just on a roadtrip#i am convinced that he kisses her just because he thinks she's being really cute#i kinda had a feeling that was maria in the trailer doing something to rhett in the trailer(iykyk) and my heart still fell into my stomach#i'm not including any dream/nightmare sequences because as far as we know they can't see the future... right?#do i sound stupid and biased? maybe... please don't judge me#she's hungry but her heart aches to stay... will the flesh have its way in s3? will she be ... ''already gone'' a la eurydice in hadestown?#tw: food?#will forever be sad they didn't get a dance :(#the way he makes her giggle and smile before kissing her in the car? PLEASE#maybe leaving is her way of fixing things for the both of them so he doesn't have to choose between her and his family?#and so he doesn't have to feel guilt for holding her back every time he looks at her... but girlie have a proper conversation PLS
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Something I realized (which was obvious to me subconsciously) is that... The family that vehemently didn't accept me when I first came out but now do accept me are still the same family that I am most unwilling to be open about things I feel protective over.
I remember that my dad reacted so poorly, not to my coming out, but to my transition specifically that my therapist was the one to ask if I wanted to put it on my file that I wanted nothing to ever be shared with him about my health after I broke down multiple times due to my anxiety that I would never transition. While there are and were protections for me, I was incredibly fearful at the time because I was a minor, and I was so worried that he would have prevented my transition that I couldn't have said for certain what (if any) lengths he would have gone to to prevent that.
He's grown a lot as a person, and made some commendable strides. But he didn't find out from me when I medically transitioned the second I turned eighteen, and I think that's among the things that truly made him realize the scope of the issue.
I'm not here to guilt trip parents, guardians, or other members responsible for the care of the children or teens or young adults in their care.... but this is a cautionary tale. You aren't saving the people in your care when you do this, you simply reinforce an idea that you will never care for them, never want them as they are, would rather them be shoved away.
When you give people reasons to be secretive, they will behave secretively. When you give people reasons to doubt their safety around you, they will become sneaky, defensive, and withdrawn. When you give people reasons to doubt that you value their life, they will believe that you don't care if they live or not.
#queer#lgbt#lgbtq#ally advice#transphobia#transphobia tw#i always feel the need to preface that i have a rebuilt relationship with my dad specifically...#...but that my experiences with them have served to me in many ways to illustrate... well... what NOT to do if you are in his situation#i do still grieve that my relationship with him looks very scarred and that it took a long time to get to where he is now#but i recognize that in many ways this is a product of the world and culture we live in and that he lived in#in a world he grew up gay was used as a slur. would i expect that trans people would be treated better?#and he was responsible for how he reacted but also... it's nuanced as to why he reacted so poorly#and i want people to AVOID being like he did if they EVER want a decent relationship with the other person#i want this to be a cautionary tale and that my ending is unique. not all of us are even ABLE to repair a relationship that was THAT broken#some of us die trying. some of us never get closure. some of us are in active danger because of those reactions#and that's the more common reality i have found. most other queer people have no-contact with families who pulled the shit my dad had...#...and that's - frankly - a good idea in 99.9% of cases. i will never judge someone for the way they go about dealing with that#i'm just emphasizing that i am unique in the sense that i was able to somewhat repair that
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Before I began to restore these women to their dead selves through my awful work, [...] Had I not seen the repose in the first place, and the gladness that stole over it just ere the final dissolution came, as realisation that the soul had been won, I could not have gone further with my butchery. I could not have endured the horrid screeching as the stake drove home; the plunging of writhing form, and lips of bloody foam. I should have fled in terror and left my work undone. But it is over! And the poor souls, I can pity them now and weep, as I think of them placid each in her full sleep of death for a short moment ere fading.
I love this framing. First of all, I love that from beginning to end this is not depicted as anything like a triumph. Even though strategically it may well be so, Van Helsing takes no pleasure, not even in a cathartic revenge way, in killing them. He hates every second of it. Not just because he's afraid but because it makes him feel like a butcher, he can't endure the signs of their suffering.
But he frames it as "restoring" them. This wording is consistent with how he comforted the suitors about the necessity of killing vampire!Lucy, and I love how that doesn't suddenly vanish when the vampire is no longer someone they care about. Van Helsing's only exposure to these women has been as a scary story, or them circling him terrifyingly in the night. He never knew them as people and never will. But he still hates having to kill them, and he still finds great comfort in the idea that by doing so he is freeing them from this evil state, and restoring them back to the way they should have been after death. Mina does the same with Dracula tomorrow - even Dracula. And she has some extra reason to be personally invested there (I'll try and find my post from last year about it) but I just like how consistent this detail is.
#dracula daily#van helsing#dracula daily spoilers#i am NOT judging any of the ones who wouldn't feel this way about say killing the count#but i like the narrative emphasizes another approach#it fits really well with the themes and mood for this to be a grim duty and something that in itself is largely abhorrent#but which if they get through it will help people. even the ones who became monsters along the way
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2024 reads / storygraph
Outdrawn
f/f contemporary romance
two cartoonist who’ve been rivals since uni, and now have competing webcomics online, have to work together on the relaunch of a cult classic at the comic press they both work at
they both struggle with art-related physical and mental health issues, and complicated families
#outdrawn#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#sapphic books#I thought this was decent! I liked the concept (even if I got distracted by some art related things…)#and the dynamic between the characters was good. I enjoyed their relationship development broadly speaking#and the emphasis on communication; though it was a quick flip into being together all of a sudden.#The sketchbook doodle flirting was cute. Some interesting exploration of their complicated family situations too.#There’s a lot of exploration of burnout and carpal tunnel and the dangers of artists overworking which I think are important conversations#and are done with some nuance. But it’s pretty much all discussed in the context of the personal pressure they put on themselves#rather than the industry corporate greed and artificial competition created by the comic platform - which are significant in this story!#It felt odd that that connection wasn’t really ever made?#I know that this is a romance and nitpicking the background plot is beside the point and also that I am not a big romance reader#but the premise that the comic hosting site archives everything; wipes the leaderboard; and out of nowhere has a comic competition for#new weekly chapters…I’m sorry but the art world would riot. Even if people enter because they’re desperate for the cash they’d be pissed#People live off the income from their webcomics! if they were erased (temporarily) with no notice…..there would be crimes committed istg#I simply don’t believe that it would be doable to create a new weekly webcomic with no notice while you also have a full-time comic job#(especially as the only stylistic choices mentioned are full-colour) - not to mention what happened to their 8-years-running webcomics#that were archived? they don’t think about them at all after the beginning? surely they’d care about that?#And then with their new comics they make for this competition (after work I guess) we get vague snippets about them but barely anything#- if they’re consuming that much of your time I would expect to feel like they’re thinking about them all the time#rather than the vaguest discussion about genre and cast numbers only.#I guess I just think the whole comic site stunt felt unnecessary for the plot anyway -#it would have worked exactly the same if they were just competing on the normal leaderboard with their normal comics???#anyway - I’m not judging TOO hard about all that because again I know it’s not the point and maybe the industry is like that in some place#Unfortunately it was distracting enough to affect my feelings on the book tho lol.#Lastly: the audiobook………oof. The narrators talk at different speeds; for one.#And Sage’s VA does this deeply weird raspy-anime-teen-boy voice for Noah which is such an odd choice#and doesn’t match her character at all.#unforch my library only had the audiobook (what I usually prefer) so I just had to sort of….translate the narration into a normal voice lol#anyway the romance is good tho
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YOU — “No. There is still a chance.”
DOLORES DEI — “You think so?” Her voice is weary.
EMPATHY — Everything about her is weary. She is the Innocence of weariness, of heroically borne suffering.
CONCEPTUALIZATION — That is the picture you have painted for yourself, at any rate.
YOU — “You looked back. That’s the memory, the moment, that I can’t stop returning to. You looked back. I had a chance, for just that moment…”
DOLORES DEI — She meets your eye, gaze still forever cast back over her shoulder. Time stops. The stars are stilled, the ocean silent. There is *nothing* beyond this memory. Nothing at all. All of infinity is contained in this single moment when anything and everything was possible.
“Oh, Harry…” She sighs, soft as eiderdown. “We never had any chance.”
And just like that, the wave of time collapses under its own weight, obliterating everything. This moment was six years ago. She is gone from here. Gone, gone…
PAIN THRESHOLD — You cannot leave. There was nothing outside of this moment, and now there is nothing at all. It’s all gone. There is no point. I’m sorry. I can’t do this any longer.
VOLITION — Please, don’t say that…
“Okay. Well, fuck me, then.”
“How would *you* know?! You gave up! You didn’t even try!”
“We *must* have had a chance, at some point… Doesn’t everyone get a chance, if nothing more?”
“How could you say that…?”
DOLORES DEI — “Because it’s true,” she says, matter-of-fact. “There is no moment in time that you can turn back to, no branching paths, no infinity. There is only what happened. I looked back… and then away.” She closes her eyes, turning her back to you.
“The moment ended. *We* ended. That is all.”
SHIVERS — A wave crashes against an unseen shore, ocean spray tickling the back of your neck. You shiver, but no one shivers with you. You are alone in this intersection. Why are you here?
“Why can’t *I* end?! Why can’t this all just stop? Please, make it stop…”
“Ended? I’ve barely even started! I got a chance to start completely over as somebody new! I don’t need you anymore! You’re just dead weight to me now.”
“No. That wasn’t the real ending. We’re a part of something so much bigger than this intersection, telling a story that encapsulates all of history! There’s *more* to this, it *means* something.”
“Then… What am I supposed to do now…?”
DOLORES DEI — “No, Harry.” She turns back to you again now, and she looks… sad.
“We were not metaphors. We were people. Our narrative was not intelligently designed. It simply followed the patterns of history, because those are the only patterns we *know.* We tried to create something new, but we failed. There is no narrative reward for our failure, no satisfactory ending. There is only the immutable past and the unknowable future.”
RHETORIC — There is no assurance of what is good or deserved or what may bring relief. There is no assurance of punishment, either. There is no assurance of anything. Not even of a future. I don’t know what to say to make this bearable.
VOLITION — Even so… As long as you live, *something* is promised. Can you live with that?
I can’t, I just can’t do this anymore…
I can. It’s enough.
I don’t know. I just don’t know.
I can at least try for a little longer…
VOLITION — That’s all I ask. That’s enough.
#disco elysium#harry du bois#dolores dei#suicide tw#ummmmm haha *twirls hair*#sorry this isn’t more of the dolores saga im really trying to get back into the swing of things 😭#this is smth that won’t make it into the saga but that i was thinking about nonetheless#im not too fond of the whole ‘’dora is literally dolores dei’’ thing tbh#i feel that the mundanity is what makes their story impactful#and also just. makes it feel like somebody is kinda going overboard on projecting onto their proxy ex. lmao 😭#idk like the metaphor gets a little TOO metaphorical for me. but that’s just my onion. im an rgu fan so who am i to judge#anyway this is more my take on the harry/dora story#which is that dora was Just Some Guy and ultimately we have to live w the fact that we’ll never get the full story#because she literally exited the narrative#we can speculate about what her and harry’s relationship was like and how much of the blame is on each of them#dora’s lack of class consciousness vs harry’s violent misogyny etc etc#and like. it’s not that there’s no value in examining those things bc there definitely is value in it#in examining what patterns you DO see repeating in your life and in the world around you#that is what politics is really… examining the system and all its moving parts#but ultimately the past is immutable… our perception of it changes as we gain new context and understanding but what’s past is past#and there is no way of knowing with any certainty what the future holds#that’s where the overlap of all of these political and personal conflicts is for me#and why it comes back to harry questioning whether it’s worth it to even live#it’s about whether or not you can live with the grief of the past and the uncertainty of the future#i want to learn to live with it… to work toward building a future that i want to live in#anyway. coughs
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lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety
#to the judge that’s gonna see this case next year and the lawyer that is representing it assuming the state idk how this all works#why has the person to say the least get to go a whole year without consequence? a known criminal who after stealing from me and being#released and again getting arrest now for gang violence or some shit she was let go? she maybe associated to the group that killed that boy#last year. and here i am panicking because im afraid to carry cash. im paranoid that imma go outside and my car will be missing. i’m get#panic attacks when i drive to close to that gym and tired going back but physically cannot get out of my car and i start to cry in the#parking lot. i’m not sitting at work shaking forcing myself not to cry because someone handed me cash and i’m afraid someone is going to#steal my purse again. you think that’s not a big deal and honestly i didn’t think it was until my purse was gone. my cards stolen and used.#my key missing EVERYTHING in my purse GONE. so many things in there plus the purse i had money and all that is stuff i paid for now im out#all that cash i’m out 500$ for a key replacement i stopped feeling safe leaving my house all my non replaceable things gone and everyone#spoke to me like it was my fault and had to stand their crying while adults told me not to use a gym locker ??? but in the same breath telli#telling me this isn’t the first time she’s done this she has a warrant for her arrest she’s known to steal cars i’m the problem and there’s#nothing they can do to help me. so while i cry because all the money i had lost and never got back i had to do ALL the work to call my bank#track where my cards were being spent at call the jpay line she transferred money to look up the person she cashapped money to call the#business she was actively spending money at ask the manger if she is currently there and if they could give the police all the receipts and#video of her there for them to act like the hero’s for my brother and i tracking her down while you all belittled me#FUCK YOU AND FUCK HER i can’t be fucking normal about STUPID mundane shit i’m stuck here shaking and crying and what you tell me later it’s#not a big deal? give me all the content of your car and wallet or purse or backpack take nothing out and see what you’re left with and how m#much you need to spend to drive your car again and to tow your car home let a stranger have all your cards and address and tell me you feel#safe#OH and for the gym to tell me they know about her she used to be an employee there she doesn’t have a membership so they don’t know how she#got in and they can’t help but she did steal from another girl that night and an employee last month and who knows how many more ppl like#that’s convenient you pos sounds like she has friends that still work at the gym and open the back door for her or just let her in that’s#crazy no ? and this is all alleged because when if i lost all these things i can’t speak on what did or didn’t happen that’s some crazy bull#shit anyways the towing company felt bad for me maybe because i hadn’t stopped crying they gave me the key replacement number and told me to#mention he referred me so i could get a discount and the layman felt back for me because when i called him i started to cry and when he told#me the price i cried harder so 500$ was the cheapest but pretty much my whole check#key man*#bad** LET ME FIX TAGS#allegedly all these ppl are privileged kids from a privileged background that grew up in a sheltered community and thing there’s no#consequences to their actions because of the lack of accountability from their parents who willing pay for people to look the other way
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lowkey starting to hate my friend's jakey 🙏
#he's her first bf and ive known her for 12 years so the bar was HIGH. and i fear he's not really measuring up atm#like....... i am mostly a 'if youre happy im happy' kind of person but they seem to constantly be having fights about small things#&i dont feel like i get to judge them bc ive never had a serious relationship of my own but.......why is he always making my girl angry!!!#do you know how many tall brown haired men there are in the netherlands. DONT piss me off boy i could find a replacement so easily#personal
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hey literally every arcane artist drawing viktor from season 2. yeah what are you doing giving him a #normal flesh body. im not accepting the answer of “i didn’t know he was purple now” that was direct part of the new hairdo reveal. “i don’t want to draw the detail of his new form” ok but you can color his skin properly to reflect his new form right. is anyone else getting a “why won’t you draw this characters facial scarring” vibe from this or just me.
#arcane act 3#arcane league of legends#arcane season 2#arcane#viktor arcane#the machine herald#im not ok ab it#sick of seeing art of viktor and it feels so obvious they’re obsessed with his new pretty boy hair and like#entirely erasing his new form of disability is about as bad as it can get to me idk#color him purple you don’t even have to add extra lines of texture#every time i see you fucks give him what looks like an unmarred abled body i judge you#i am judging you either as a person or an artist who won’t put in effort#effort necessary to depict disabled bodies accurately btw#get fucking hot and freaky about that mass of flesh as it is or get the fuck out of my house and home#tauto talks
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Kind of hard to ask as anon
But you doing ok?
Need to vent?
Hi very kind and thoughtful of you to ask, i am doing mmmmm suboptimal but i do not need to vent to a person per se, so much as i need to say absolutely insane shit in my tags and have everyone pretend not to see <3
#my stuff#asks#this is the problem with using tumblr as a multi-role platform bc when i want to talk about my fcuking metnal illness i stress-#about my online friends judging me for it#not in like a mean sense but just that it feels like it would change their opinion of me#like on tumblr u can say you have adhd or autism (i have the latter and likely the former)#but anything more intense is regarded as sketchy#so when i’m having symptoms disease of an additional metnal illness it’s like hmmm i don’t think i’m supposed to talk about that#mostly because the majority of the time it’s something i mask over#and do subconsciously until i get particularly tired or stressed or fatigued#so when i get to those states i’m trying extra hard not to blindside everyone with what a fucking mutant i am under the surface#like yippee hooray more ammunition for some transphobe to use in 3 weeks next time i get anon hate#anyways im. tired. i need more tattoos. i need a vacation. i need a forever hug. i need to feel cute. i need things to just be okay#i need to not be fractured into so many snapping pieces i need to know what is expected of us#i need to not feel like an adult babysitting a child who’s actually controlling me#i feel weak and undisciplined but i know fixing those won’t fill the hole gnawing my heart#im going to bed. blegh.
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i’m about to go to my dad’s gf’s house to visit my brother n sister everyone keep me in ur thoughts n prayers
#it’s like psychological warfare w my dad’s gf#n she knows i quit my job in nov n she loves judging n making her little shit talking comments#i’m getting anxiety just thinking about it i hope she doesn’t tell me anything like girl i am at rock bottom in my life rn i don’t need u#making me feel worse#anyways wish me luck 🙏#.txt
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lays on the floor do you guys ever think about how in ResF Bulma falls for Vegeta's fake-out with Freeza and both she and Yamcha are worried about Vegeta's villain fake-out strategy in Champa and Beerus' mini tournament and how it's only been a couple of years since the Buu saga and how Vegeta straight up stopped using that strategy after that tournament
#i do#do you think he noticed it upset her twice in a row and was like 'oh I haven't earned the trust back yet i'll retire this strat'#'it's fun to scare people but i do not like my wife being scared we can put this one up on the shelf for emergencies only'#because like bulma can consciously trust him and I'm sure she does but one can still have The Fear if you've seen your spouse relapse befor#And he probably thinks it's very amusing but it is also almost certainly very not funny for her no matter how much she trusts him#and the next arc is Trunks and she's so worried about the way he left she ignored the PDA rules and squished him when she saw him alive#Because Geets determination can be self destructive when it comes to Bulma and Trunks and he killed himself to protect them once before#and knowing how connected they've been for so long some part of her probably Knew he would opt to stay behind and die like he was going to#And I love the idea that between those two events and all of the things Trunks tells him about Bulma during the GB arc Geets has to really#really be confronted with how loved he is -- and it's not that he wasn't aware before but knowing she even missed him at his worst#and loved him maybe even before she was pregnant -- means the cruel part of his mind can't make excuses for why she stayed with him#I also like to think that being confronted with the idea that Bulma is still scared for him getting his worst wires tripped#wouldn't be offensive to him. Knowing he's still got work to do if his wife is worried about those things happening to him again#is just proof that she loves him with his flaws and was still thinking about it and supporting his recovery when he didn't#even notice he was recovering -- which has always been true of her -- and now he has the chance to support her recovery in return#and being in a place where he can still put that work in to make her feel secure in his priorities is a privilege and a gift#and man I just really like how casually comfortably close they are in Super's manga I love them a lot they worked so hard#to make each other feel safe and secure for the past decade+ that it's Easy for them both now and they're SUCH a confident couple#and I am once again shaking the anime by the shoulders WHY didn't you give us that they are SO the team's Mom and Dad in the manga#until Goku riles Vegeta up -- then Piccolo is the team Dad. Bc Piccolo is the team Grandpa aksjda The Z-Fighter's locker room judge#dbtag#vegebul#putting the whole essay in the tags again oops#happy pride i am gay for a whole married couple
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I don’t think people realize how all consuming October 7, the war and the rising antisemitism is to most Jews right now. I was just on a five day family trip and nearly every single conversation ended up circling back to what’s going on in Israel, across the world and at home. My mom knew Vivian Silver, an incredible peace activist thought to be held hostage and I had to sit there and watch her realize that not only was Vivian murdered at her home 38 days before but that she was likely burned if it took this long for her body to be identified. I was forced to sit there and watch my mom, my favorite woman in the world, watch her face crumple. We were sharing updates, accounts to follow, venting and releasing frustrations. It is a constant unbreakable struggle right now for me and most Jews I know to not be glued to our phones, to not pay attention. Because we’ve seen what happens when we don’t. Because we can’t afford to turn our backs on what’s going on. And there’s a deep ever present grief not only for the victims of October 7th, the innocent citizens of Gaza, the hostages and also for my own personal sense of safety and security. I am also grieving what is a shattering beyond measure of my present and future trust in people as I’ve witnessed how easily well intentioned kind hearted people have decided to say nothing, publicly or privately, or who have quickly fallen into vicious antisemitic rhetoric. I’m just sharing into the void at this point but it’s been unimaginably hard on a personal level. I’m not the same person I was when I went to bed on October 6. It’s as though I’m a shadow, made of grief and anger and tiny fractured bits of hope. Every piece of joy feels as though it’s been muted because of how quickly it fades. And even the moments that last are related to my Jewish identity somehow. I am not sure where I go from here.
Have a cat gif for reading all of that
#abby speaks#jumblr#I don’t know if anybody in the tag relates to how I’m feeling but it feels like the right place for it to go#not tagging I/p and antisemitism though this post deals with it because I don’t want to get bombarded#Jews can reblog as can followers#I’ll say it here to fend of comments; this is my personal reflection#I’ve stated several times that I believe in a Palestinian state and their rights of self determination libration and pursuit of life#I simply don’t believe that that should come at the cost of Israel’s right to exist and to Jewish safety around the globe#if that makes me a Zionist than I am a proud Zionist#I firmly believe that those taking advantage of this pain and horror to spread hate will be judged by karma#that includes the settlers in the Israeli West Bank; Netenyahu and his corrupt colition#and anyone who is ripping down and defacing posters of the hostages#Hamas is a terrorist organization that benefits no one but themselves#if you truly cared about the Palestinians you would have understood that they need to be removed and their agenda dismantled
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