#And then with their new comics they make for this competition (after work I guess) we get vague snippets about them but barely anything

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

Outdrawn

f/f contemporary romance

two cartoonist who’ve been rivals since uni, and now have competing webcomics online, have to work together on the relaunch of a cult classic at the comic press they both work at

they both struggle with art-related physical and mental health issues, and complicated families

[trilobitepunch]

What are some of your favorite character relationships/dynamics in TMNT, and why? Is there anything that you particularly like seeing explored with them in fan works (art, writing, comics, etc)?

Awww I gotta get my brain into answer-questions-mode...

Le's see....

What I really love is the exploration of family bonds, especially in the last two show iterations for 2012 and 2018. The original 198something one didn't really seem to dip too much into it, from what I remember, anyway, and only in hindsight do I realize they didn't really seem very teenagerish either, or at least that aspect just seemed lost to me. It's been a bajillion years and I know I never watched its entirety. Not even touching the comics realm- no idea what's going on there.

I completely missed 2003, but 2012's version was the first one that made it clear that they were- aside from being mutants trained as ninja in the sewers by a rat father- teenagers who loved each other but also could be annoyed at each other and mad at each other, tease and fight but still remember who they are to each other by the end of things. I'll tell you now, I've never been a big romance-oriented person and I don't think those relationships in that show really added much to anything. Funny at times, amusing, yes, but that seemed to be about it. Friendship bonds can be just as strong and meaningful!

Where 2012 dipped into relations between the brothers, 2018 pushed it further. The lads were mostly on their own due to a negligent father, although this new aspect of Splinter was refreshing and I love the idea of all of them basically trying to find their way around things and this nebulous duty bound to their family. I love that April's become more of a big sister to them and still shares some bond even with Splinter, similar to 2012's for the whole master and student angle. I think her relationship with Donnie is a fun one, her go-to for technical issues, for hanging out and homework checks, but she's not afraid to speak her mind and set the boy right when his brain is working too much.

The layers and directions they take with each character just makes it a fun mix when they throw everything together. I love that they don't even outright hate the villains and some of the villains don't even know why they hate the turtles but hey! We'll fight 'em just cuz! Ahaha, these poor kids. I do have to add that I'm also glad that no one's overly lamented about the fact that they've been mutated in this show except for poor Splinter at first, but all the villains basically kinda vibe with it like 'oh, I guess this is how my life is now /shrug'.

I like Raph's self-instated role as the oldest to be the protector, and how he especially looks after Donnie when things get sweaty. Or tries to, anyway, look- his heart's in the right place, even if half the time he ends up smashing his squishy brother by accident. I like the competition that goes on between Mikey and Leo, whether it's just at who's better or who's right, it's a fun dynamic. Of course I love Leo and Donnie antics too, and even though there aren't too many, the implications that they have dove into many a hair-brained scheme is just too funny. ...just going to go through all of them I guess. I'M SORRY, THIS GOT SO LONG AGH Right, Mikey and Donnie, a classic team-up, I love that they support each other so much, and the chaos they can get up to. Even funnier, I love that they actually succeed most of the time. And then Mikey and Raph's little bro vs oldest bro dynamic, which is in a way the same as Leo and Raph in that they can see eye-to-eye and get along, but when they clash, they clash hard. Classic.

...sorry I'm still not done, one more section...!!

When it comes to fanworks, I just like to see more of what was set up in the shows and the movie, but I also like being pleasantly surprised by wild and creative takes now and then. It's like... the reason I RP a character is to get more story, to see how so-and-so goes through and deals with this situation or another, the friends and enemies they might make in a different setting or opportunity. Fanart has glimpses of such things, fanfics and comics explore them in depth. Y'all are amazing, for the record, just saying.

OKAY SHUTTING UP NOW, here's my term paper *hits submit*

[atlaskrr]

Comics that resonate with me in an unexplainable way - a rec list

☆ amount represents how much is resonated with me (aka how obsessed i became or how deep i loved) which is a personal thing not a quality thing.

sorted by sections below ⬇️

Manga

Zeikin de katta hon☆☆☆ - delinquent wants to use library. OH NO! he needs to return a book he lost when he was child. welp. reimbursement time. he does (while embarrassed) and ends up working in the library in the process and growing as a person. messages relate to the books and library practices in the chapter.

pos: AUGHHHH. comforting, imformativs, beautiful messages, well-written characters that each carry a message, and makes you fall in love with libraries and books (you will appreciate librarians 10x more)

neg: some charas can feel exagerated and some jokes are repeated one too many times

Magmell shinkai suizokukan☆☆☆ - i wanna work in an aquarium! a well renowned first ever deep sea aquarium! and i am. just as a janitor. but its ok since i get to watch and learn about all these wonderful creatures. i hope people see how beautiful they are too. each chapter carries a message tied to the creature it covers.

pos: GOD DAMN the art is beautiful. informative on the deep sea, well written characters and their psychology, nice mystery build up along the slice of life, you will be enraptured by the "ugly" deep sea. will make you believe in yourself and your dreams and that you can always grow and improve

neg: some scenarios of the world dont make sense with how the creatures would usually behave, weird age gap side-story (did not happen and was handled responsibly but still)

Butai ni sake☆☆ - they said i sounded scary. what if everyone will misinterpret me again? im at a new school for hs. i got this. how can i learn to be more, less scary? wait what club is showcasing right now? the... threatre club? maybe thats the answer. chapters show the club preparing for plays!

pos: RELATABLE AF characters. the messages are strong throughout and all the showcase of what goes on in a theatre club is very accurate. it makes you fall in love with the art and if youre already a theatre kid like me, i think youll be impressed and find it relatable.

neg: besides the main 2 characters, side characters can feel underdeveloped. ESPECIALLY one of them. the ending is very open-ended on the romance that they kept on implying (though it mightve just been bait)

Yokai gakkou no sensei hajimemashita☆☆ - imagine the most pathetic man you can muster. now make him 100x more wimpy to the point hes hussled by kindergardners. thats the mc of yohaji abe haruaki! he became a shut-in after trying to teach at a school and getting scared away by delinquents. but wait! a family friend has let him work at a school. with its own island?! wow this is an amazing oppurtuni- ITS A SCHOOL FOR YOKAI?! starts out as comedy but plot and characters develop along the way

pos: AMAZING characters, well developed relationships, great development throughout the story overall, fun yokai trivia, and well incorparated comedy. also. GAY. like- well written abd casually. pretty art btw.

neg: humour can be repetitive and too questionable for some. lowk the mangakas kinks are slipping through into it 💀 the timeline of one year feels like its streching on for ATLEAST 2 with the amount of shit that happens. once again, lots of questionable things. like time travel age gap. or just age gap ship bait. or just the mc. he gets a pass tho.

Manwha

The makeup remover☆☆☆ - i am ugly. but im ok with that, i mean im just a photography student. but i guess i could try more... how does everybody just become beautiful? how do they learn? OMG HE FUCKED UP MY MAKEUP. wait whos this new random dude. and why is he asking me to be his model for a makeup competiton??? the story follows this duo in the makeup competition.

pos: AMAZING STORY. AMAZING MESSAGES. each character FEELS like a message. they're well written. it feels realistic. the makeup looks SO CREATIVE. the relationships between characters are developed well and the diverse cast of backgrounds allow for good subplots that make you CARE and think about the messages they carry as they resonate in your soul. it shows both the good and bad of makeup. realistic. truly.

neg: very vauge open ending on relationship front as they kept teasing multiple relationships and it just- no payoff. spme character backgrounds were not explored enough.

Sambong barbershop☆☆ - theres a virus spreading around to ugly people when they break. im scared ill be next. but then a cat steaps her watch, she follows it to a barbershop and- is that a humanoid cat?! smoking a cig?????? oh and a majestic dude who cut hair with gigantic scissors. blablabla she ends up working at a barbershop. sambong barbershop. it shows how one can grow as a person yet stay the same as the mc works at the barbershop.

pos: good message, complex charas (they can be assholely but theyre human), cool action scenes and fantasy elements, very realistic as, well youll see how the development goes if you read this comic.

neg: artstyle takes a while to grow on you and ending was- random. and ambig. also, because its very realistic it guves a more harsh vibe to the message rather than positivity (not a full downside tho). also the world-building is very unclear and vauge.

Surviving romance☆☆☆ - ive been isekaid into my favourite romance novel. ahh this is the life, ill get my happily ever after, who cares about those faceless extras. lalalala- ZOMBIE OUTBREAK??? I DIE?! wait. im. alive again. at the beginning of that day. WHATS GOING ON??? the story follows how she'll survive this nightmare by getting to know unknown extras she has never cared for along the way.

pos: AMAZING development throughout the story as always by lee yone. characters and relationships grow very well and the mystery us very well developed and hints are rlly good! as hidden yet visible as they need to be. the pacing was good and the artstyle is very charming. the visuals are also used very cleverly and creatively. you can even see hints in the first few scenes! also, friendship! and a good, hopeful message for anyone struggling.

neg: ending can feel very luck based. also very open-ended (personally part of the charm tho). also questionable age losgistics and some might not like the character attitude switch ups.

Peace restaurant☆ - the dimensions have all collapsed together, right in seoul. naturally, theres war over land. but one safe haven owned by a mysteriously strong and feared lady, is peace restaurant. the newly awakened demon king is ready to fly there and when he does- be gets beat up. and not by the warrior there- BUT BY THE LADY???? the story follows the growing mystery behind the mc and the "fight" agaisnt people who oppose her restaurant.

pos: love the mystery and found fam. fun exaggerated characters yet also clearly more depth hiding beneath that. love through cooking. comedy that grows plot my fav genre fr. also, very cool dishes and world. also good character and relationship development for one chara. also, HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS!

neg: other characters could be more well developed and complex. change can feel too fast suddenly accepted by the mc. the current arc (chap 26ish i think?) is dragging FAR longer than it needs to. could benefit from more realistic characters (though its probably a writing choice for the tone of the story)

Webtoon

Cursed princess club☆☆ - gwendolyn is beautiful, just like the rest of her siblings, everyone in her life thinks so. though her life in inside the palace due to her overorotective father. but when she and her sisters are set to get engaged to the plaid princes and her fiance calls her UGLY. her world shatters as she realizes hes right. she runs into the forest as she cries and WHATS THAT. she passes out and wakes up in a mansion with princesses having a tea party outside. huh. so this isnt a haunted forest? WAIT WHATS WITH THE LONG NOSE? AND HOLLOW EYES?? AND- LOBSTER HANDS???? she has just stumbled upon the cursed princess club. the story shows a journey of self improvement and self love.

pos: WAAAA I ACTUALLY CRIED AT THE ENDING. very well written characters that develop over time, creative curses and good foreshadowing. the subversion of tropes is PEAK. it has good callbacks, parallels, analogies, etc.

neg: i feel like many characters can be explored more, worldbuilding unclear, and cam often times focys on romance more than id like. humour is very often misplaced such as in serious scenes when they should be before or after the peak of tension instead of well- at the peak. some relationships and feelings feel- random? and also bad people are way too easily forgiven. i feel like there needs to be a line to the positive messaging on that front.

Maho shonen☆ - ahh magical girls. teenage girls with superpowers. ah! 2 guide are descending and- TWO FULLY GROWN MEN?! and the gaurdians are, well.... they're certainly not cutesy, on the inside at least. and the grown men? they're just plain horrid at their job. the only thing they gain from all this, is trauma! not like they're already stocked up on it. oh, and each other of course! the story shows how the two will get through this whole ordeal as well as their daily life.

pos: the story WILL grow on you. cool art, good trope subversions esp in the price of being a magical girl. explores the psychology of it all and has well written characters that deal with realistic issues. also very nice duo dynamic.

neg: the humour may not suit everyone as it can be a bit more mature. it does take a few eps to get good and grow on you.

Our walk home☆ - two academic rivals.... wait, why aren't they acting like rivals at all? they're even getting along? and finding things in common?! they're letting the masks slip. but their rivaling schools won't be happy to hear about this from their top students. afterall, no one from the two schools are allowed to be friends. the story shows how these two mask-wearing academic achievers get through life together. and maybe, just maybe, fall in love.

pos: VERY good exploration of identity and self-worth and VERY relatable. the characters are very well written and have simple yet recognizable designs, a cute dynamic between the mcs.

neg: honestly, i don't know. it just didn't attach to my soul. probably secondary character relationships could be further expanded on.

The bathroom ghost☆☆ - ghost are scary. but this ghost, is just REALLY BAD AT HER JOB! what's a ghost to do when she can't scare? and is stuck in a mall bathroom of all places? worse yet, the managers keep badgering her about it! this follows her hijinks.

pos: the COOLEST artstyle I've seen in a comic with a very fitting and unique feel. cool character design, simple, yet entertaining, comedy, great use of body language, hidden plot developing. mc is very endearing and so are the rest of the characters. it's just so feel-good and heartwarming.

neg: takes a few episodes to move on from episodic if you dislike that. honestly, i just need more. that's my only complaint. GIVE ME MORE VOLPEE

[therummesoccupied]

IDW SONIC #68 - THOUGHTS

Warning: Spoilers Ahead

This issue was really good! From what I could gather, @spiritsonic was trying some new stuff with her art here, and her hard work really shows! She's always great, but I'm real excited to see what she gives us in the future.

After all the debate, I still do consider the circumstances surrounding this update somewhat unfortunate, but whether it was brought on by (perhaps unnecessarily) harsh criticisms from the community or not, it does look really good, and Evan seems happy with it on her various social media feeds, so I'm happy, too.

Aside from the fantastic art, this issue also had a lot of stuff I've really been wanting from IDW Sonic!

The story features a single Chaos Emerald hunt instead of just nabbing a bunch of 'em at once.

I always prefer this to stuff like Starline just bringing them all to Eggman or the Roboticized Masters collecting them off-page. Placing them one by one over time really helps drive home to me how significant these gems are to this world, and makes them feel like part of the overarching narrative instead of a simple macguffin that can just appear whenever it's convenient for the plot.

I guess what I'm saying is I like the setup phase of Chekhov's Gun just as much as the payoff.

As of this issue, we now know the location of three Emeralds - Rouge grabbed the white one in the 2022 Annual, Tails ended up with the purple one in Winter Jam, and now we've got the yellow one here.

We got some nice exploration of Sonic and Tails' dynamic in this one. It's nothing new, Sonic and Tails are naturally seen together quite a lot in this comic, but they're often in communication with other characters working toward a greater goal, or trying to solve some kind of crisis. They're after the Emerald here, but there's no great catastrophe and it's just them... spending time together. They get competitive, they banter, they pick up where the other falters - it's a really great reflection of the strong relationship Sonic points out between Silver and Blaze in Issue 64.

They get lots of little moments in this story, but I especially appreciate this one:

It's a small thing, but I think this is the first time in the comic's 5+ year run that Sonic has referred to Tails as his "little brother." When you think about it, these two really have spent most of their lives together, and this is a nice reminder of that.

What I really appreciate most in this issue, though, is the

🫒Environments.🫒

I've always felt that IDW Sonic's world was a little... homogenous, without a lot of the beautiful, fantastical scenery we see in the games.

Even when we DID get cool set pieces, they were usually direct references to the games - not a lot of spectacular, new settings made to fit the games' world.

But this one had a cool ravine with weird hexagonal pillars and old bridges for Sonic and Tails to race through!

That looked like it could be a game level! Then they get into the cave and we get this cool, glowing, underground green world with a giant salamander stalking around - this is also a really neat way of hinting at how the Emeralds affect the environment around them!

I know it's gonna be a while before we return back to the main series - the Fang the Hunter mini-series does seem fun, though - but I'm really, really excited to see where it takes us next!

[moonisagremlin]

okay, so i'm re-reading ALL of the TF2 comics for my little zine project, and i have discovered interesting things and silly things.

starting with the WAR! update comic:

-The Bitch connects her microphone to different speakers to talk to both RED and BLU team.

-Meet the Spy is canon in the comics.

-The Bitch can read people pretty well i guess.

-The BLU soldier and the RED demo are besties. They met at a projectile weapons expo. They knew eachother for six months before the WAR! comic.

-The Bitch doesn't have any friends (whomp whomp).

-The Bitch: "In my experience, Miss Pauling, nothing kills a friendship faster... than a healthy competition."

-Saxton Hale is... just. like. that.

-Wait, did the first design of Bidwell have a moustache?

-Saxton FUCKS. (With The Bitch. What the fuck.) ((he also tries flirting with Miss Pauling.))

-monke lore:

poopy joe was an american monkeynaut that sadly passed away in a tragic explosion that occurred moments later after the launch. mann.co was involved in this accident but they keep denying it for legal reasons (during the comic they're going to be under senate investigation soon, and it seems that they were in BIG TROUBLE, so Helen asking for weapons was actually a great way for them to dispose of those weapons involved in the accident).

-(RED) Demoman lives in a mansion in New Mexico with his mum.

-He only has one morning off a week.

-He has three jobs

-His mum is quite mad at him because his dad (rip) had 26 jobs (and somehow managed to be with his family)

-He makes 5 million dollars a year (with the current inflation that would be around- 48,980,957.43$ ????? WHAT??????)

-Demo is halfway to retirement, around his 30's

-He was raised in a home with a bad economic situation :c

-His dad killed the (obviously not real) Queen of England

-The mum misses demo's father :(

-The Eyelander is a haunted, pattern-welded damascus steel and harmonically balanced sword slowly-forged for generations in the bowels of captured english kings

-Not only did Miss Pauling gave him The Eyelander, also multiple cases with weapons that we see in-game (the scottish resistance, for example)

-Miss Pauling calls him Mister DeGroot, which is kinda weird considering they're coworkers and know eachother, but i guess that during this time they weren't really close because demo only knew her as "that wee lass that works with the angry lady who's always screamin' at us while we fight".

-BLU soldier lives in a really secured appartment with lots of locks in his door. He also has two little doors in which he can take his arms outside to necksnap people.

-He lives miserably. He doesn't let ANYONE enter his house. Only the tomato soup wholesaler or the delivery man from the rib place.

-He has BOXES filled with cans of food, so he's house really looks like a fucking bunker.

-They both fought the police together???? Friendship goals honestly.

-Neither Demo and Soldier wanted to fight eachother, they did it to defend themselves from the other one. Demo was made sure that Soldier betrayed him first, and Soldier was manipulated into believing that his best friend said he was a civilian thanks to a poorly-made robotic voice of Tavish. This all led to both of them fighting eachother for their own safety.

[tnbc-thoughtsandheadcanons]

The Battle for Pumpkin King #1

In this post, I’ll be talking about the first Issue of The Battle for Pumpkin King! I’ll be tagging all my spoilers with #Pumpkin King Spoilers, for anyone who wants to avoid them! Below are my thoughts about this first issue and where this comic series may go.

The series starts off with establishing Jack Skellington and Oogie Boogie’s close friendship with each other, as children. They routinely compete with each other, but all in good-nature, as they’re both good sports about who wins/loses. It’s mentioned that they also learn science, learn about the world around them, and make discoveries together(seen with Doctor Finkelstein and a young Sally in his lab, experimenting with chemicals.)

In this issue, the current but soon-to-be-retired Pumpkin King makes an announcement to Halloween Town about his ending reign. He reveals his plan on working closely with his successor and aiding in their selection - which will be a set of competitions between two members of the community, as he guides them closely competing for the throne. The citizens immediately nominate Jack Skellington and Oogie Boogie, who accept the challenge and shake hands with one another, where the issue then ends.

First off - let me talk about the new character, the pumpkin-headed, well-dressed man previously seen in the upcoming covers of the series:

We do not know his name yet, but it’s implied he’s been the Pumpkin King for a long time, as you can tell by his design, where his pumpkin is rotting and even has mold growing on it. I also like the little touch of the round cut on top of his head - like people traditionally do to clean and carve jack-o-lanterns. I wonder what’s the story behind that..!

There’s an interesting panel where he talks about maintaining control of his successor, Halloween town, and Halloween itself, with a sinister-looking pose. Will this hint to him being the villain/antagonist of the comic series? Judging by the next cover where he’s shaking hands with Oogie Boogie, it’s likely he’s either going to side with Oogie, or purposefully shove some conflict between him and Jack to offset their friendship. The series *is* about their falling off, after all!

Also, the previous Pumpkin King being a literal pumpkin-headed man makes me wonder if Jack Skellington’s Pumpkin King “outfit” is a dedication/commemoration to the previous ruler, or the linings of The Pumpkin King? Did this character set the title first, or have there been others *before* him? Either way, I’m excited to see/learn more of his character, and hopefully his name!

In here, we also see both Sally and Dr. Finkelstein in the open out in the Town Square, watching and joining in on the fun. It’s likely that the Doctor hasn’t become protective over her yet, and she’s freely allowed in the town in her childhood! I hope to see more of Sally in this comic and even the Doctor himself.

Also, here’s a meme to celebrate the comic’s release:

--

I will make a minor comment that the writing seems a little flat thus far, but I give leniency since this is Disney, and aimed for children. The entire Town idolizes both Jack and Oogie - but we don’t exactly know *why*, if they had a good upbringing or they earned a good reputation in the town? Also, a lot of the side characters seem to be the same age in here, maybe a little smaller in size, besides Lock, Shock, and Barrel, who look to be infants with a slight age difference between them. I’m not going to scrutinize too harshly to the consistency of ages with the movie - since they’re undead, it makes *sense* if the Citizens age more slowly or differently than humans do. And it isn’t established how long ago this comic takes place in regards to the movie yet, so I won’t jump to any major conclusion.

I also have the question on why Sally is in here as a child - I hope to learn more about her and Doctor Finkelstein, if he made Sally to age or reconstructs her when she gets older. I guess, *technically*, the “backstory” of Sally from Long Live the Pumpkin Queen (the novel sequel) could be applicable to this comic...!

I'm loving the art so far! Here’s waiting for the next issue’s release!

[my-name-is-jefferooni]

Overanalyzing Sonic Comics Again Because I Can.

You know what? No. I was gonna build up to this but I’m fuccin clueless on how so I’ll just jump right on into it!

This hedgehog. This goddamn blue motherfucking pinball of a hedgehog. He is absolutely SHATTERED by this one instance.

Sonic the Hedgehog in the IDW comics has been through… A LOT, lately. He’s shown signs of trauma and regret from the Metal Virus, he literally pulled a Shadow and lost his memory for like 8 panels, and ya boi LITERALLY DIED. IT’S VERY SAFE TO ASSUME THAT ANYTHING GOING WRONG ON HIS END WOULD BE CATASTROPHIC FOR HIM.

To me, in this case, it completely makes sense why Sonic is so utterly crushed in the Winter Jam, because not only does it force him to think outside the box and try some new techniques, but it also does to him what no one has dared to do in a while since his death, and that is: Disagree with him.

You’re probably giving this a pretty big scowl right now and you’re probably about to move on and not continue reading because yes I know that claim is very very outlandish and weird but I AM ABOUT TO EXPLAIN SO PLEASE STAY FOR A BIT I PROMISE IT’LL MAKE SOME SORT OF SENSE-

The Winter Jam is a fake reality tv show crafted by Orbot and Cubot, all for the purpose of getting Dr. Eggman to get off his lazy ass and do something. It kind of works in the end, but that’s not what I’m here to discuss. They painstakingly put together a bunch of tests specifically made to challenge the players, and to hopefully get some kind of juicy secrets out of them as well. Because that’s just how reality tv shows work I guess. And Sonic is one of those contestants.

The very first challenge, Sonic fails. The second challenge, Sonic fails. The third, fourth, fifth? Oh, he probably failed every single one of them! (Poor Tails lmao) But what the second challenge does is show Sonic that speed isn’t everything. It shows that not everything about him is perfect and that he doesn’t always have the right ideas. Same with the first challenge too! It brings to light that Sonic’s ideals can oftentimes be very wrong and too on-brand for him, because all he knows at this point is “Go fast” and “Freedom.” (See one of my previous analysis on our favorite blue boi) That would probably be mostly because of his recent trauma, but I’ll save all that for another time. So essentially, what this reality tv show is doing, is showing the odder sides of Sonic, showing how he can sometimes be wrong and that he isn’t as heroic and great as some make him out to be. (*cough cough* issue 67 *cough cough*)

The final challenge, though… That’s when things start taking a turn for the worst for Sonic.

He already started questioning his methods when the second challenge ended in a failure. He went fast, and that almost always works, so why didn’t he win? It was a race, was it not? Did he miss the memo? Did he do something wrong? What was wrong with him, why didn’t he win, he went fast so WHY DIDN’T HE WIN????

And if we’re assuming that he kept racking up failure after failure for the rest of the competition, then those thoughts suddenly become a lot worse. They start getting muddied, dirtied by insecurity, full of lies and deceit and worries that he’d spent so long trying to bury in his mind. He starts slowing down, trying his best to not fail because if he keeps failing then what kind of hero even is he!?!?

And then the final challenge happens.

And Sonic fails once again.

He thought it had worked this time, he thought that finally, after so long, he could claim just one little victory. Just a small, funny statue made of ice. One that symbolized the best of the best, something that showed that he cared. A true gift for a true friend. An ice statue of him and his beloved baby brother, Tails.

It works…! At least for a few seconds. Because after those few seconds are up?

(YES I KNOW I SHOWED THIS IMAGE ALREADY BUT IT’S ALL THE WAY AT THE START AND IT PERFECTLY ENCAPSULATES THE FEELING IM GOING FOR SO HUSHHHHHHH)

It all comes crumbling down.

And so too does Sonic’s entire body.

He falls to the ground with his statue, his eyes glued to the ice-cold dots of the foxy figure. Sonic stares at it, feeling something burn within his eyes. No, no, that could not have just happened! His hard work could not have been for nothing! He wasn’t too fast again, was he? Why did it fall, why did it crumble, why was everything falling apart like the statue???

…

Everything was falling apart.

——

idk what else to say man just do what you can with that info. Spread it like the plague or something idfk.

[stranger-who-writes-fiction]

So, a bit of Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow news. Apparently as part of DC finally getting on the Marvel Infinite Comics train, i.e., introducing digitally exclusive vertical scroll comics on their subscription service, titles such as Batman: Hush, All-Star Superman, and the aforementioned Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow will be reformatted to launch as webtoon-style offerings on DC GO.

Further musings under a read more because IDK how long I'll ramble about this. XD

On the one hand, I guess this makes...some kind of sense, from a brand synergy standpoint. The titles they've picked to launch alongside the new originals are all connected to upcoming film projects (All-Star has been cited by James Gunn as an influence on the new Superman movie, and obviously WoT is being adapted as a film. Less sure about Batman: Hush, but I'm sure there's some sort of Batman project in development, this is DC/Warner Bros after all.)

So. presumably, these picks are going to bring the titles to a new audience that maybe doesn't read comics as like. Physical books. Okay. Sure. They wanna get that younger webtoons demographic. Okay.

BUUUUUT.

DC already has some Webtoon exclusive comics actually on Webtoon, a free service that requires very little effort/buy-in from younger readers. You can pay for content on the app/site, but you don't have to.

DC GO is being bundled into the DC Comics subscription service which is like. 75 USD annually for their basic tier, 120 USD annually for their fancy plan. It's 8 dollars monthly, I guess, which I suppose is fairly competitive...(but it's still twice the cost of paid manga app options.)

I guess what I'm saying is: I'm curious if this is going to work well, the way they've set it up. You can already read/buy the titles relaunching on the subscription service as-is, without the vertical reformatting. As for the originals titles...there's already some negative buzz around the Nightwing comic in particular, so I can't imagine that these are designed with your average adult comic fan in mind. Which is not a bad thing, mind you! But again, like...you have the Webtoon deal. Why are you not putting your new Webtoon style offerings on Webtoon?

(Answer probably has something to do with having to share the profits, honestly.)

(OR, possibly, they are realizing that popularity on Webtoon does not translate directly into physical comic sales so they'd prefer to get the money where they can i.e. digital subscription service cost.)

ANYWAYS. To bring it back to Supergirl; I guess I'm glad that a Supergirl book is part of a set of launch titles, and I'm kind of curious to see how they'll chop up the art to fit the vertical scroll. Like...how are you gonna turn the double page spread of Kara riding Comet into something that will fit the dimensions of a mobile phone without severely compromising either the text or the image??? We'll have to see, I suppose!

(...Okay one last nitpick if you're going to make Nightwing an underwear model in your fanfic-y webtoon it might behoove you to make the underwear actually look good which, based on the preview images, they have not. They have not done that. XD)

(...also Birds of Prey just did the whole 'DC characters go undercover as underwear models' thing now that I think about it. An...interesting...trend...? XD)

[hotroadkill]

saw this and wanted to make my own post real quick bc i’ve gotten some questions abt my art before & now that i feel a bit more secure in my style i thought i’d give a few tips to anyone who wanted that :)

first i have to address how the submission is phrased: i'm sorry & i know no one wants to hear this but “keep practicing” is not a platitude that is always going to be the best advice 😭 the real question is:

how do you make practice fun?

1. challenge yourself in a way you find enjoyable/fulfilling :)

i liked doing things like art prompts from inktobers, and to draw comics of the stories i wrote, but mostly the answer for me was “set random number goal, meet random number goal, inject the validation from completed goal directly into my bloodstream, repeat.”

i worked on things kind of systematically, which just made my brain happy; i spent one summer when i was 14 doing nothing but drawing 10 full bodies a day, all with references of course. did the same throughout the fall with hands, then eyes, then expressions, then clothes, etc etc. it always had to be 10 diff angles and positions.

i did a repeat of this 10-drawings-of-10-angles rule throughout quarantine in 2020. failed all my online classes cuz i was drawing 6-10 hours every day and ignoring my homework but still passed the year in the end 💀 i got the idea from yumeii-art; it's been over 7 years since, so idk if i remember right, but she had given a similar rule of thumb as a response to someone's question about drawing without a reference, i think.

is this the Best path? probably not, idk. and it definitely lead to awkward phases where i was much better at drawing bodies than faces, for example — but it worked for me. i liked breaking things down like that, it felt more manageable.

the other number goal was. in 9th grade i saw this post:

and i was like. y’know what? yeah. i keep feeling bad abt my art, how about i put that feeling on pause until after i’ve filled 14 sketch book. i hope this user knows i owe all my achievements to the phrase “fill 14 sketch book” powering me through years of depression and art block.

so i did fill 14 sketch book!

i met that goal between ages 14 and 19. obv this doesnt include the doodles on my homework, on other random surfaces, or the ~150 digital artworks i’d done in that time, so maybe it was more like 16 sketch book? but that doesnt matter, i had 14 labeled & organized sketchbooks that were full, and i did feel better about my art by then. this was my anime training montage. this was 90% of my improvement. this was the best art advice i’d ever gotten.

so i guess what made art the most fun to me was numbers? which sounds lame but i guess since i’m competitive & love competing against myself the most, it just worked for me.

comparisons, with 2016 on the left and 2020 on the right:

(the new sketches are still rough and lack some detail ofc but i have terrible ADHD and always found it hard to sit down and keep working on a sketch once it was “done enough” — for some reason i dont rlly have the same impatience with digital art & have less of a problem completing pieces on my ipad now) (the point is. 14 sketch book level complete. 1000% worth it)

then my 2021-2024 improvement, when i had bought my own ipad and again spent most days drawing instead of doing my schoolwork (i.. did end up failing that first year of uni):

2. try out different mediums aimlessly!

what i mean is just go ham with some charcoal or whatever you have on hand, without the determination to Make It Good. i can’t say if this helped my actual art get better but what it did do was keep the joy of it alive & i had fun which lead to more practice & therefore improvement. color pencils weirdly were my favorite. hell, my school had us do a project with linoleum printing (is that how u spell it idk) and it gave me months’ worth of art inspo.

i also recently got a gift card for a stationery store and got some nice markers and those also gave me a ton of motivation. markers r good

3. if u do digital art, find ur fave brush; it will be ur familiar ur trusted companion ur lover in a past life

for lineart i mostly use the IGB office pack, favorite ballpoint. you’ll have to buy & download it online tho i think it was like $7? but yea it was worth it. (i did a lot of work with the gesinski ink brush in past years but i think it’s a bit too “sharp” now)

but also go crazy try them all it’s fun!

4. in my opinion it’s fine to do redraws of ur fave artist’s work now and then — as long as u keep it to urself and dont take credit for it

i’ve had ppl ask to use my art as a ref and my answer is always Not Sure Why You’d Want To Bc It’s Not All That, But Yes Of Course. as u can see most of my 2021 work was redrawing panels of the “gangsta.” manga; it didn’t even end up influencing my style much, my style was already based on all the manga shit i drew at 13, but it was the only thing i was motivated enough to draw at the time, and it was valuable practice.

art teachers still stress that the best reference is to draw from life & yeah thats true maybe but idc sometimes ur just not feeling that! so mix it up, whatever works. obviously respect it if an artist says not to reference their work and don’t only reference ur art from one artist but generally i think it’s harmless.

especially when there’s a specific thing an artist does very well that’s hard to find other examples of; personally i was fighting for my life trying to find how to best translate references of dynamic movement into art of dynamic movement. and i think the bnha mangaka does this wonderfully so i often referenced thise action panels as practice. and i think it helped loosen up my art style. (and… i was extremely ridiculously mentally ill about hawks so that…. contributed…. my fave ask to date is still the person who clocked hawks as my old fave character based purely on how i draw eyes 😭😭)

tracing is a diff conversation and my advice there is it is not actually helpful and it's. idk it feels very Against Artist Code. sometimes, and i havent done it in a couple years, but if a piece REALLY isnt working i've done the thing where u trace the general movement of a pose then go from there but i've never posted completed works where i used that method bc it felt wrong. but yeah that's a separate thing that i don't wanna go too deep into

5. another fun thing that motivated me to practice was doing speedpaints!

if you draw on procreate, it's probably set up automatically already. i don't have the storage to record everything, but when i do have it on, the knowledge that i'll have a speedpaint of the finished piece pushes me to put the last necessary touches on it. (if you'd like to see some of my speedpaints i have a few on my instagram)

some more technical advice:

1. flip your canvas flip your canvas flip your goddamn canvas i KNOW it hurts i KNOW it’s like ripping off a bandaid that’s superglued to ur skin i know but YOU HAVE TO FLIP YOUR CANVAS

(when i didn’t have an ipad i’d do this by taking a picture of the drawing on my phone and flipping the image in the photo app)

IT IS THE WORST THING IN THE WORLD AND IM NOT ASHAMED TO ADMIT I’VE RAGE QUIT SOME PIECES OVER SEEING THE CANVAS FLIPPED BUT LOOK AT THIS ART BEFORE AND AFTER I’D FLIPPED IT AND FIXED HOW WONKY IT WAS: desaturated so tht the colors dont distract so much

like it's the BEST and honestly often the ONLY way you're going to catch things that were off/out of proportion/etc. flipping your canvas gives your brain a "new eye" and it's invaluable.

2. until you have color theory figured out…. i honestly depend on adding layers and setting them to color dodge, divide, multiply, overlay, etc…. i am cheating, perhaps, but it works

3. this is how i draw front-facing noses because it's what a czech woman in an extremely bad mood taught me in a cramped overheated stuffy classroom in germany when i was 12

it was our only meeting but she changed my life. i do not know how common this method is but it's possibly the only thing i can concretely give you a tutorial for. after a few times you won't need to do step 1 anymore

anddd i think that's all the advice i have that wouldn't be a repeat of every other art advice thing you've seen. i do know it boils down to "keep practicing" but again you won't get around that, and i just hope that concretely showing what's motivated me might help motivate someone else.

as an ending note, please take this sentence that motivated me just as much as the 14 sketch book rule: (via graveweaver, author of the webtoon "i'm the grim reaper")

[arctimon]

The "Echo" Chamber - Another Marvel/BH6 Character Discussion

So for those of you who may not be in the know, Echo is dropping on Disney+ today. Now, a lot of people have varying amounts of Marvel Fatigue and may not be interested in this series, but I will actually be super interested in how they handle the protagonist herself.

Because you see, I'm a big fan of Maya Lopez.

Not necessarily the MCU one...

But the comic one.

So here's a little backstory into the superhero known as Echo.

One of her defining characteristics (whether it's a good thing or not) is that she is one of the few deaf characters in Marvel comics. What she lacks in hearing she more than makes up for in her fighting abilities, as she has the same ability as Taskmaster: to replicate any movement or action perfectly while only seeing it once. With that, she's one of the best fighters in the entire Marvel universe.

Her father worked for Wilson Fisk, the Kingpin, and after being in his employ for a long time, Fisk kills him. William makes him promise to take care of her daughter, which he does. After shooting him, Maya finds him, but not before leaving the trademark handprint of his blood on her face.

Fisk would take Maya in, sender her off to a gifted school, and trained her with her skills. He would later convince her that Matt Murdock (Daredevil) was the one who killed her father. After several issues in the 1999 run of Daredevil, secrets would be revealed, and Maya would blind Fisk by shooting out both of his eyes.

And you though my version of Kate was crazy.

After going on a personal quest to find herself, Maya would later get recruited into the New Avengers on the recommendation of Matt. She used the guise of Ronon (a former alias of Clint Barton, aka Hawkeye). Over the years, she played a central part in the New Avengers run and the events World War Hulk and Secret Invasion, being one of the first to discover that Jessica Drew was a Skrull.

Later, she moved to LA and went undercover before having to blow said cover to save Moon Knight. They teamed up together to take down the Kingpin of LA, but not before she was killed by Count Nefaria.

Of course, we know that being dead means literally nothing in the Marvel universe, and she shows up alive and well taking down another attempt of a villain taking over NYC.

For a while, Maya was out of action, not appearing in comics for almost five years.

And then?

Well.

And then entered the Phoenix.

"Enter The Phoenix" was a story arc in the 2018 Avengers run that saw heroes and villains alike in a "competition" to see who would wield the power of the Phoenix. I put that in quotes because it wasn't really much of a battle; the Avengers figured out there were other things going on.

But it didn't really matter in the end because guess who ended up with the power of the Phoenix?

Well it wouldn't be much of a Echo write-up if she didn't get it, now would it?

Alas, she wouldn't have the powers for long. After a less-than-well received mini-series (Echo: Phoenix Song), she helped the Avengers with the Multiversal Masters of Evil and the Council of Red. She used up the power to help heal the verses destroyed by the God Quarry.

And...that's kind of where we're at with her.

(Also, I know there were about twenty words and phrases that may not make any sense whatsoever, so you might want to take up the opportunity to read her comic before proceeding.)

Now I know what you're saying. "Jason, how on Earth are you going to make this about Big Hero 6? We already know you didn't think of her when you wrote that blog post about other potential team members you were thinking about."

...True.

But Riri, Nadia, America, Alison, and Cindy were not the only people that were considered.

They were just the only ones who got logos.

A Cheyenne deaf teenage girl with super memory powers and an ability to kick your butt sixty ways to San Fransokyo? Not to mention a (varying level of) permanent handprint on her face? You bet your patootie that she was on that list.

The problem, as many of the previous people were, was a way to integrate them into the mythos. Her main adversaries (Daredevil and Kingpin) are nowhere to be seen. Fisk is a NY guy too; unless he finds his way to SF for some reason, he wouldn't fit that well.

You'd have to find some other way to get her in. Who do we know that is a superb fighter that can also swordplay.

They also would probably be equally ruthless and not afraid of having to do what it take to achieve their goal.

...Oh.

Oh dear.

How about the daughter of a kingpin?

(Marvel's Echo airs all five episodes tonight on Disney+.)

[bvannn]

Weekly Update September 20, 2024

I’m still recovering from strep and I’m taking medicine that’s got me a little loopy so apologies in advance if this isn’t the most coherent update. My mood has also been volatile all week but I’m on an upswing right now and have put in place everything I need for that to last until Monday so I should be good to work on projects as best I can this weekend.

Still chipping away at the WOTW video, new animation strategy is coming along nicely so that I should be able to get the most intense animations done at a reasonable pace. One is already done and another only needs 4 more frames and cleanup and colors. Smaller shots are also coming along, albeit a bit slower. I am enjoying animation again even if I still prefer Flash to CSP. I’d like to do some smaller flash stuff at some point, maybe I’ll take a break once the WOTW video is done and do a little parody animation. At the beginning of the year I scrapped a pretty big animation for a YouTube group that I thought was disbanding, but since it seems like that may not be the case after all, so I could either revive that project or repurpose some of the work that was done. We’ll play by ear.

Comic: I’m real upset because I had all my ducks in a row and was ready to make progress on the comic during the week at work while doing the animation stuff at home, but then I got sick and that threw a giant wrench into everything. Page 10 should be done pretty soon, just needs shading, backgrounds, and lettering, and then I’ll move on to sketching page 11. We’re hovering around 1/3 done for episode 1 altogether. I really should start looking into places to post it. I’ll for sure post at least a tease on here and Newgrounds, maybe deviantart, reddit, or sheezy if I’m feeling up to it, but I’d prefer the full episode to be on a website made specifically for comics. I’ll try to look at webtoon or tapas at some point, although I’ve heard bad things about webtoon.

No epithet ttrpg news this week, if I can stay in a good mood this weekend I’ll try to get some more maps and minis done. I’m trying to get preparation done for everything before I start gathering players, so I don’t end up with a campaign that dies midway.

Music: I threw together a couple small instrumental pieces while I was sick, one of which I really like. It’ll be a while before it gets posted in full or anything, I’m going to mostly focus on WOTW, and then round up some of the smaller ones to post.

I’m really jittery this week but it’s fine because I’m taking steps to do what I can about it. I have my foot in the door for a couple nice jobs, they’re just going to take their sweet time getting through everything because they’re so competitive. I feel like I’m qualified enough for them though. I’m just going to do what I can until I can’t anymore, I guess.

[borrelia]

Since round 2 of @sonic-oc-showdown is so close right now, thought I'd do this questionnaire for dog! after going through some other competitors' summaries vs propaganda, i definitely get a much better idea of the character from this supplemental stuff!

Original post by @/redd956 here! Banner by @/bunnymajo :) ty!

✨- How did you come up with the OC’s name?

Hmm poorly! ^_^; But the logic became: Dog picked his name* because he was amused by the idea of having a name that can be general slang. he's always waiting for the day when someone says "what's up, dawg?" (he lives in a 90s sonic comic okay?) and he can.. well.. he hasn't really realized his response would not be different whether that was just a normal greeting or his name. and I'm not sure it's going to happen either, but it amuses him anyway. he's easily amused :) *all three of them in their core friend group have picked their names. dog + bebe for transgender reasons and fleet just for general Identity reasons.

🌼 - How old are they? (Or approximate age range)

16 (or 16-ish; i actually have to check his ref every time so the specific number isn't that important since I can never remember it)

🍕 - What is their favorite food?

i feel like this kid could DEMOLISH some chinese takeout. he's going for noodles, he's going for dumplings, he's going for spice.

🎹 - Do they have any hobbies?

skating! dog + her friends all meet + bond over skating :) dog prefers to board and honestly takes it real casual. she can do some tricks and will go out there and focus for a while, but usually she just slowly rolls around on her board and chats with her friends. she also collects trading cards and plays videos games.

🎯 -What do they do best?

dog isn't really the competitive type--she's just here to have fun and be herself. as such, she doesn't really care to think about whether or not shes 'good' at things... he's just chilling! i think his friends might say his strengths are in handling stress, being a good listener, and first aid. and then theyd tack on that some of the casual little gum wrapper crafts she makes are wicked cool

🥊 -What do they love to do? What do they hate to do?

loves: chilling, being with friends, hanging out, having a good time

hates: when anything starts to be not that. majorly avoids anything that is too much Not the above things.

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

not really a memory, but i think he treasures his childhood friendship with bebe :) he loves to see how she's grown into a more confident and happy person. any time he makes a new friend is a good memory. any time his friends make a new friend is also a good memory. reaching out and welcoming in that nervous yellow hedgehog lingering at the edge of the park for the first time and seeing him warm up to the group was a good memory :)

✂️ - What is one of your OC’s worst memories?

dog good vibes forever <3

🧊 - Is their current design the first one?

Pretty much! I've gone back and forth on what kind of gloves to give her, and the hoodie is just a normal skull instead of sans, but otherwise is still check my work on her original ref

🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?

Fleet Needs Friends dot MyMind

🌂 - What genre do they belong in?

Dog being part of canon-divergence au in the fleetway comics puts her in variety comedy/adventure i guess :) in my mind, the stories the group get up to are "working together to defeat a minor villain in the area even though they don't have powers" and "getting possessed by/having wishes granted by/retrieving one of ebony's magical macguffins." the non-story fanficky stuff is mostly Chilling, Hanging Out, Shooting the Shit, and Being Unbothered. (as well as like. semi-grounded melodrama. you know the fun of taking character moments So Seriously?)

💚 - What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?

gender: ? sexuality: ??

🙌 - How many sibling does your OC have?

none that I've bothered to make, but i could see her having an adult older brother

🍎 - What is the OC’s relationship w/their parents like?

dog's parents aren't really in the picture! he lives with his nan. they have a semi-strained relationship--they love each other and have their bonding moments, but she can get pretty riled up about some of the things dog does (knuckle tats, dirty room), even if there are others she just doesn't seem to care about (skipping school, extended stays at friends' houses, nosering). dog usually defaults to "ignore and avoid" if things are anything less than peachy.

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

he's just so easy to draw and i got that design down PAT. im really happy with dog + bebe + merger fleet all sharing color across their designs :) the friends. (i need to get bebe some green +gold accents tho it seems...)

also the knuckle tats detail and this

✏️ - How often do you draw/write about the OC?

usually when i'm having a fleet Moment dog comes along for the ride, maybe gets slingshotted forward into his own moment. so not that often, but in batches

💎 - Do you ever see yourself killing off the OC?

dog live forever <3

💀 - Does your OC have any phobias?

none that she would tell you 👍

🍩 -Who is your OC’s arch-nemesis or rival?

dog everyones friend forever <3

🎓 - How long have you had the OC?

Just over a year! the ref is dated august 6th 2022 and i did the original sketches the day before.

[myhahnestopinion]

THE 2022 AARONS - Best Film

75 films released in 2022 are eligible for this year’s ceremony. That ties a low with the pandemic year of 2020, but my goal was to focus on quality over quantity. Well, at least that’s what I told myself until I opted to watch Disenchanted over Decision to Leave. I did watch a lot of good films last year though. Here are the Aarons for Best Film:

#10. Scream

Ready or Not directors Matt Bettinelli-Olpin & Tyler Gillett were the first people brave enough to take a stab at Scream since the passing of director Wes Craven. They slayed at becoming its stewards. The fifth film’s satire has bigger prey in mind than just the slasher subgenre, cutting through a whole culture obsessed with reliving an idealized past. It’s a scary, and pertinent, reminder of how easily infantilized fan-bases can be weaponized against human beings, told with a sly style that would have made Craven proud. While the film features plenty of familiar faces and Ghostfaces, it’s the new blood of current and soon-to-be horror icons like Dylan Minnette and Jenny Ortega that really made the horror-comedy a scream.

#9. The Black Phone

Based on the short story by Joe Hill, The Black Phone recalls the best works of his father Stephen King. The 70s-set serial killer thriller grabs ahold of viewers with its supernatural hook - a phone that converses with the dead - but it’s the clever characters that will keep them captivated. Sinister director Scott Derickson slowly dials up the dread as young Finny Blake tries to escape the clutches of his kidnapper, with the looming specter of past victims making the cost of failure clear. The frightening film’s secret weapon is its resourcefulness, deftly deploying Ethan Hawke’s maniacal villain and eerie 8mm imagery as it lays the groundwork for an off-the-hook finale.

#8. The Batman

Since its debut, every comic book filmmaker has been riddled by the same dilemma: how to eclipse The Dark Knight. If director Matt Reeves, who sharpened his skill for thoughtful blockbusters on Planet of the Apes, didn’t solve the question, he at least gave a very good guess. Reeve’s reinvention pushed the envelope of superhero cinema by drawing inspiration from David Fincher, distinguishing itself in the competitive genre through grounded stakes and great spectacle. Abetted by Paul Dano’s riveting Riddler and Robert Pattison’s arresting, arrestedly-developed version of the vigilante, the twists and turns of the mystery noir keep viewers tightly-wound even after its dam breaks open. 

#7. TÁR

TÁR’s composition is unusual: it begins with a full set of production credits, shown in reverse of traditional order. The switch-up is the opening salvo of a film fully intent on upsetting power dynamics. The three-hour character piece plays with audiences’ sympathies as it chronicles the collapse of famous (fictional) symphony composer Lydia Tár. The nuanced tale of narcissism takes some cues from modern day ‘cancel culture,” but the tenor is a tragedy as classical as they come. To alleviate trepidation, it’s important to note that TÁR isn’t as stuffy as it may sound: the coda of this unusual composition is a rollicking punchline as appropriate as it is unpredictable.

#6. Pearl

Pearl is a gem. Filmed in secret alongside its predecessor (more on that shortly) and released a few months later, the prequel extrapolates X into a compelling study of its eponymous character. The wickedness of the Oz-inspired technicolor terror contrasts itself through its singular focus. Tracing the lead-up to Pearl’s first string of murders in 1918 as her fairy tale dreams turn into a deranged fervor, the film keeps the body count going but the spotlight fixed on the incontestable star power of Mia Goth. Goth’s devotion to the demented ending guarantees that, while X is extricating, Pearl will always linger in the back of one’s mind. 

#5. X

‘Elevated horror,’ the designation given to the recent trend of arthouse films, has routinely struggled to find the right balance between lofty thematic ambitions and expected genre titillation. X marks the spot. The trick was in fixating both on being unabashed about one’s nature. The thrust of Ti West’s throwback grindhouse flick, which documents a group of sexually-liberated filmmakers’ fateful encounter with an envious elderly couple, is a morality play about accepting mortality. The sexed-up slasher doesn’t skimp on penetrating flesh though, with gnarly gore effects designed by Wētā Workshop. It could have been objectifying and objectionable material, but West directs it all with a curious compassion; as a result, X multiplied wins for his films this year. 

#4. The Banshees of Inisherin 

Banshees is a lament of ghosting gone wrong. Martin McDonagh’s drama escalates an unconscientious uncoupling - truthful but tactless - between two life-long best friends to its most absurd and absurdly funny degree. Backdropped by the Irish Civil War, the boiling tension between the curiously incongruous but synchronously stubborn pairing of Brendan Gleeson’s ambitious Colm and Colin Farrell’s simplistic Pádraic highlights how quickly spite can erode one’s better angels. It’s a downbeat design yet Inisherin’s spirit lies in its impeccably witty dialogue. They may not be able to put their finger on whether it’s gaiety or grief, but audiences will be howling in response to Banshees for one reason or the other.

#3. Speak No Evil

Much has been said recently about horror’s use as a vehicle to process past trauma; Speak No Evil returns the conversation to the genre’s custom of cautionary tales. Danger lies ahead, not behind, of the film’s family when they accept an invitation to an idyllic weekend stay with a foreign couple. Evil preys on the unprepared; the insidious nature of its terror isn’t clear until its trap is already sprung. For the unassertive, the Danish film is uniquely devastating. The less said to prospective viewers, the better, though rest assured that Speak No Evil deserves every good word.

#2. The Fabelmans 

Steven Spielberg has spent a lifetime doing his dream work and capturing his audiences’ imagination along the way. Loosely based on his own childhood, The Fablemans brings that wide-ranging filmography into focus. The assortment of anecdotes is one of the director’s funniest films and undoubtedly his most vulnerable. While this semi-autobiographical story could have been a simple victory lap for the septuagenarian, Spielberg’s sentimentality has always been far wiser than critics claim. The sure to be sacred text to future generations of filmmakers is certainly a testament to the magic of movies. Yet, even as Spielberg reframes his past, the learned moral imparted by The Fabelmans is really about what cinema is unable to control. 

AND THE BEST FILM OF 2022 IS...

#1. Everything Everywhere All At Once

Movie multiverses may be inescapable at the moment, but no project encapsulates the concept’s infinite possibilities more than Everything Everywhere All at Once. The revolutionary martial-arts flick runs like The Matrix trading its estrogen for ecstasy as it awakens an under-audit laundromat owner to the larger worlds around her. The film’s directors, collectively credited as Daniels, learned the tools of the trade on the offbeat Swiss Army Man and apply that same sense of humor here: one that’s lewd, ludicrous, and incredibly life affirming.  Able to transform a universe of humans with hot dogs for fingers from joke to tearjerker and back again, the film is continually unexpected but everything one’s ever wanted all at once.

NEXT UP: THE 2022 AARONS FOR WORST FILM!

[turtlethon]

Turtlethon Extra Slices: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990) (part 1 of 3)

US Release Date: March 30, 1990 UK Release Date: November 23, 1990

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is a live-action motion picture, produced by the Hong Kong-based Golden Harvest and distributed in the US by New Line Cinema. Directed by Steve Barron, it adapts elements of early issues of the Mirage Turtles comics, as well as selected aspects of the 1987 Murakami Wolf Swenson animated show of the same name.

Hugely successful upon its release, for almost a decade the first Turtles film was the highest-grossing independent film of all time, unsurpassed until the debut of The Blair Witch Project at the turn of the millennium. I would hazard a guess that it remains the single most popular, acclaimed and beloved piece of TMNT-related media ever made. As such – and given that its running time of 90 minutes is significantly greater than any one episode of the 1987 cartoon – a single standard-length Turtlethon entry wouldn’t be sufficient to examine the movie, its history and its impact. With that in mind, this is the first of a three-part retrospective, easily the longest I’ve committed to as part of this project, and I suspect that record will remain into the future; down the road will be entries covering the film’s sequels, 1991’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze and 1993’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III, but neither are nearly as historically significant or worthy of lengthy analysis as this first cinematic outing.

1 - BACKGROUND: KEEPING UP WITH THE BAT

The first half-decade of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was a period of rapid growth. Following the publication of the first issue of the rough and gritty comic by Mirage Studios, demand from readers for more material grew rapidly. Turtles became a big enough deal in the comics space that the series – itself initially envisioned as a parody that drew upon elements of contemporary titles such as Daredevil and The New Mutants – soon became a target for being sent-up itself, as well as a source of inspiration for rival publishers intent on mimicking its success with their own martial arts animal titles.

Mark Freedman of Surge Licensing saw the potential in Turtles as a multi-media property, and was able to convince the initially wary Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird into letting him try and secure deals to adapt the characters into toys and animation. After rejections from major players in the toy business including Mattel and LJN, he was able to win over a small Hong Kong based firm called Playmates, which up to that point mostly marketed dolls to girls and was then looking to enter the lucrative action figure sector. Financing from the company allowed for the creation of an initial five-episode miniseries which aired in the US in December 1987, with the first wave of the action figures arriving the following year.

Despite initial hesitations, particularly from retailers, throughout 1988 the Turtles continued to outperform expectations both in the action figure space and in terms of TV ratings. By 1989 – with the show now airing in syndication on weekdays – the characters were officially becoming a big deal. Freedman was keen to keep up this momentum, but saw a threat looming on the horizon in the shape of the upcoming Batman movie being released by Warner that summer. With “Bat-mania” on the way, a sure-fire merchandising juggernaut that could potentially overshadow the Turtles, it was clear to him that the green teens needed to be a presence in cinemas to remain competitive.

Initial proposals for making TMNT work as a Hollywood production left much to be desired. One pitch involved taking a group of popular actor-comedians of the day and simply painting them green. Mercifully this idea, which on paper reads like a potential bomb big enough to have taken out the entire franchise, was never explored. Ultimately, cooler heads prevailed, and Golden Harvest – a production company known for their library of martial arts films – was brought in to maintain a vision in line with the original Mirage comics.

Selected as director was Steve Barron, whose work I can pretty much guarantee everyone reading will have encountered in one form or another, possibly without realising it. Barron’s history with comic book superhero movies extends as far back as 1978’s Superman – the bedrock for the entire genre in its modern form – where he served as an uncredited cameraman under Richard Donner. It was with the rise of MTV and the music video where he truly made his name, directing some of the most iconic clips in the history of the industry. Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean”, a-Ha's “Take on Me” and the groundbreaking Dire Straits video “Money for Nothing” are among the best known of his works in this field. He would take the skills he developed in the music video space into the cinema with Electric Dreams, an underrated 1984 comedy – which as it progresses, almost borders on horror territory – about a man whose home computer develops sentience following an accident, ultimately growing jealous of his connection with the film’s love interest and threatening to ruin the life of its owner.

Barron had worked on the TV series The Storyteller, and through this had a direct connection to Jim Henson Productions; it was via this relationship that the company’s famed Creature Workshop was brought in to handle the visual effects required to bring the Turtles and their teacher, Splinter, to life. Following a relatively brief ten-week period of pre-production, filming began in Wilmington, North Carolina around the same time Batman was arriving in cinemas. This decision was brought about by a desire to keep costs down – the budget for TMNT would be only $13 million, about a third of what Tim Burton was working with in bringing the Dark Knight to film. The facility had recently been taken over by the state following its collapse while under the ownership of Dino De Laurentis, and post-takeover it was presented as an affordable venue to interested producers.

An arduous eight-week filming schedule followed, in which the actors performing as the Turtles were forced to endure severe heat while inside the costumes, while also ironing out the bugs involved in the new and untested technology that would bring the characters to life. Despite these challenges, the team were able to successfully complete filming on time. From all accounts, it was the period after filming ended when the production faced its greatest challenges; clashes with Golden Harvest led to Barron’s involvement petering out at this point, editor Sally Menke also being ousted by the production company. The finished product was such a radical departure from the tame cartoon incarnation of TMNT that concerns were raised from within other corners of the empire: at a test screening, executives from Playmates were reportedly aghast at the darker, violent depiction of the Turtles they were seeing, telling Freedman afterwards that he’d just killed the golden goose (or words to that effect).

In contrast to this opposition, Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird were supportive throughout. Both were displeased by the creative direction the zany MWS cartoon had taken, and so Barron’s commitment to faithfully adapt elements of the original Mirage comics meant that a wider audience would now get to see the characters depicted in a way closer to what they had originally intended. The film would arrive in North American cinemas in March 1990 – three months after the conclusion of the cartoon’s third season – and its success or failure would determine the future direction of TMNT as a multi-media property.

2 - THIS IS WHAT WE DO

April O’Neil (Judith Hoag) reports for Channel 3 Eyewitness News on a worsening crime wave currently afflicting New York City. Robberies ranging in scope from petty to incredibly audacious are now commonplace, invariably happening so quickly that the victims seem to lose their belongings in the blink of an eye. No-one knows who’s responsible for the thefts, but groups of teenage boys are frequently seen congregating when they take place. Leaving the station offices after completing her broadcast, April has the misfortune to encounter a group of these youths carrying out a heist. She’s jumped by the boys who attempt to take her belongings, but a flying sai blade soon knocks out the nearby streetlight, shrouding the area in darkness. When the police arrive moments later, they find the hoodlums tied-up, having been dealt a humiliating defeat.

From beneath a nearby manhole cover, a near-imperceptible figure watches as a still-grounded April reaches over to discover the sai left lying on the ground. Now with no way of reclaiming the weapon, the frustrated observer lowers the cover and retreats underground.

As the opening credits roll, we’re introduced to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, all but one of whom are thrilled by their successful defeat of the thieves. In order of appearance, and with their on-screen performers listed followed by their voice actors, they are leader Leonardo (David Forman / Brian Tochi), party dude Michaelangelo (Michelan Sisti / Robbie Rist), thoughtful Donatello (Leif Tilden / Corey Feldman), and rounding out the team, the brooding Raphael (Josh Pais, doing double-duty as both the in-suit performer and voice of his character).

The team return to their sewer home, where they report their defeat of the crooks to their sensei, the mutant rat Splinter (voiced and operated by Kevin Clash). Raphael voices his frustrations at having lost his sai, at one point becoming so upset that he almost gets into a scuffle with Donatello, but is encouraged by his master to let it go. Splinter reminds his pupils that as ninjas they must be able to remain invisible to the outside world, retreating into the shadows if they’re spotted, and that one day he won’t be around to guide them. He suggests the group join him in a meditation exercise, but they’re too energetic and restless to be held down for long, and within a few seconds Michaelangelo and Donatello are performing a dance routine to a record of “Tequila” by The Champs, as Leonardo eagerly grooves along. Raphael is in no mood to participate in any of this; donning a trenchcoat and hat, he announces he’s leaving to go see a movie.

Later, Donatello joins Michaelangelo as he waits beneath a grate for the impending arrival of his pizza. Donnie tries to bring up the uncomfortable topic of Splinter not being a presence in their lives one day, but Mikey is entirely focused on the task at hand. He slides a $10 bill up through the grate in exchange for the pizza from an understandably confused and flustered delivery man, explaining that as he was two minutes late he won’t be getting the agreed-upon tip: “Wise man say, forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza”.

As the other Turtles settle down to their meal, Raphael is seen exiting the movie Critters, unimpressed by its fantastical premise. He witnesses two thugs attempt a purse theft and trips them up, silently pointing to his remaining sai. This intimidates the duo enough for them to flee into a nearby park.

Rather than being in the clear, this places the thieves in the sights of hockey mask-wearing vigilante Casey Jones (Elias Koteas). The pair are about to receive a beatdown from Casey using his collection of sports bats until Raphael steps in, unimpressed by his antics. With the hoods having now fled, a frustrated Casey takes his anger out on the reluctant Raph, a fight that ends with the Turtle being knocked into a nearby trash can after being struck with a cricket bat. Furious, Raphael chases Casey back through the streets, but soon loses him.

Returning home, Raphael is ordered by Splinter to sit down so they can talk. In perhaps the first significant deviation for moviegoers more familiar with the 1987 cartoon, it’s revealed that here Hamato Yoshi was Splinter’s owner prior to his mutation. Raphael’s sensei passes on words of wisdom that he learned from Yoshi, reminding him that though he chooses to bottle up his rage and deal with his problems alone, he can always rely on both Splinter and his brothers. It’s a surprisingly somber and reflective scene that sets the tone for much of what is to come, making it clear that the film will have a greater emotional range than kids would have been used to from the animated TMNT.

The movie continues to diverge from its TV counterpart as instead of Burne Thompson we’re introduced to April’s boss Charles Pennington (Jay Patterson) and his troubled teenage son Danny (Michael Tunney). Charles is aghast after learning of his reporter’s encounter with the thieves, unaware that even as they speak Danny is stealing money from April’s wallet. The station boss urges her to stay out of trouble in her investigations and not provoke further ire from the police in relation to their inability to handle the current crime wave. Defying these orders, April later grills Chief Sterns (Raymond Serra) on live TV, watched in the Lair by the admiring Turtles. Another viewer has taken an interest in April’s reports, viewing her questioning of Sterns from an undisclosed location. Enraged, the masked figure hurls a dagger at one of a network of screens.

Following her report April is summoned into the office of a now fuming Chief Sterns. He rants about being expected to allocate resources into carrying out investigations on the basis that “a few immigrants are reminded of something that supposedly happened years ago in Japan”. Unbeknownst to April, while she’s being grilled Danny is being taken in by a group of officers for his own activities. Raphael is also nearby, continuing to keep an eye on her.

April finds herself alone in the subway and is confronted by a group of masked ninjas, who attempt to intimidate her into silence. After one of them slaps her, she defends herself by producing the sai she collected following her prior encounter with the thieves outside the station offices, but is swiftly disarmed. She attempts to fight back only to be left sprawled out on the ground. Raphael uses this opportunity to reclaim his weapon, subduing the group of ninjas and escaping with the reporter in his arms onto the subway’s tracks. He returns to the Lair with April, unaware that one of the ninjas is tracking him.

Raphael’s decision to take a human into the Lair leads to friction with Leonardo, followed by a scream-off when April comes around, as Donnie and Mikey respond in kind. Through a flashback, Splinter explains his backstory to April and the audience, recalling how he first learned the ways of the ninja from within his cage by copying the moves of his master, Hamato Yoshi. Later, upon arriving in New York, Splinter found himself in the sewers, where he encountered a group of four baby turtles doused in a glowing radioactive ooze that had seeped out of a damaged cannister. In the days that followed, both Splinter and the Turtles began to grow rapidly from exposure to the ooze, gaining the ability to speak; he would go on to teach them the ways of the ninja, as they were taught to him by Yoshi. 

Continued in part 2!

[night-gay]

Into the Anthill pt 38 - Flashbacks Only (The Skrull Years)

So Hank got replaced by a skrull and missed about 3 years of Marvel’s publication history. Happens to the best of us I guess. In that timeframe the skrull named Criti Noll impersonated Hank for about 90 comic issues from House of M to Civil War to the start of Secret Invasion. So, the only comics I can genuinely count as Hank’s appearances here are the flashback and retcon stories he appeared in.

It’s a good thing he was a founding Avenger or there wouldn’t have been shit to cover here.

🐜🐜🐜

Marvel Monsters: Monsters on the Prowl

In this flashback story set before Hank ever became Goliath, Mole Man and The Collector came into competition over how many giant monsters they controlled. Mole Man released several of his into NYC to wreak havoc to prove that his monsters were better. Thing and Hulk were joined by Giant-Man and Beast to fight them.

Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes II vol 1 #1-8

With the recent addition of Vision to the Avengers’ roster, the founding members got together for a meeting. Goliath, now serving as chairman, had an uphill battle with the National Security Council ahead of him now that Captain America was off the team. S.H.I.E.L.D. took Vision into custody to interrogate him soon after, partly to vet his intentions and partly to make sure he had nothing to do with their recent Super Adaptoid intel. Apparently A.I.M. had planned to mass produce them but lost control and had their island base overrun by them. Hank led the team to the island to handle the Adaptoid threat and destroyed dozens of them on his own as Goliath while the rest of the team shut down the production line. The original Super Adaptoid escaped without a trace and Hank began to suffer nightmares about the battle. He awoke in a cold sweat and headed to his lab, where he brushed everything off of one of his tables in a rage. The gaseous reaction from the chemicals he’d knocked over caused the temporary psychosis that led him to becoming Yellowjacket.

This retconned version of the Yellojacket story asserts that everyone knew he was Hank the whole time but played along because he didn’t seem to know it himself. They worried that trying to snap him out of this by force could break him entirely, so they allowed the farce to play out to its logical conclusion. Jan, asserting that she was the only one who knew what was best for him, arranged their wedding as fast as she could and even had a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent stationed as the minister. Amid rising concerns about his mental health Hank stepped down as Avengers chairman after the wedding.

Avengers Classic vol 1 #1-3

At the second monthly meeting of the original Avengers Jan diffused a brewing fight between Hulk and Thor by calling both of them pretty. Iron Man tried to start the meeting by clarifying that he was their leader, but Hulk, Thor, and Ant-Man each argued that they were more qualified for the role. Thor suggested arm wrestling for it, but Wasp had a better idea: make her the official chairman on the charter because “it won’t count since she’s a girl,” leaving their masculinity intact. Some time later after Hulk quit the team, Iron Man and Giant-Man had a practice battle against each other to see if the Iron Man mk 3 armor could keep up with Hank’s newly increased size and strength. On the ride home Hank confided that he didn’t think he was strong enough for this line of work and admitted that he’d already figured out Iron Man’s secret identity.

Minor/Cameo appearances from this period:

Marvel Monsters: From the Files of Ulysses Bloodstone & the Monster Hunters

Avengers Classic vol 1 #6, 10-12

Criti Noll’s appearances from this period:

House of M vol 1 #1-2

Secrets of the House of M vol 1 #1

Iron Man: House of M vol 1 #1-3

New Thunderbolts vol 1 #13-14

Marvel Holiday Special 2005

Beyond! Vol 1 #1-6

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man vol 1 #2, 4, 24

The Thing vol 1 #8

Civil War vol 1 #1-4, 6-7

Wolverine vol 3 #42

She-Hulk vol 2 #7, 15

New Avengers vol 1 #21-24

Amazing Spider-Man vol 1 #533-534

Thunderbolts vol 2 #103-105, 107-108, 116

Civil War: Choosing Sides vol 1 #1

Civil War: Frontline vol 1 #6, 9-11

Fantastic Four vol 3 #539, 543, 547-549, 556-557, 559

Civil War: The Return vol 1 #1

Fallen Son: The Death of Captain America vol 1 #1, 5

Wonder Man vol 3 #5

Mighty Avengers vol 1 #3-6, 8

Irredeemable Ant-Man vol 1 #1, 3-5, 12

X-Men vol 2 #200

Eternals vol 2 #5-6

Avengers: The Initiative vol 1 #1-9, 12-13

New Warriors vol 3 #4

World War Hulk: Aftersmash - Damage Control vol 1 #1-2

Avengers: The Initiative Annual vol 1 #1

Adam: Legend of the Blue Marvel vol 1 # 1-2, 4-5

[themostvindictivemind]

I saw this meme for the hundredth time today and instead of scrolling by like normal I actually thought about it for a second. How high could a human jump if given a suitcase full of cocaine? So I did what any reasonable person would do and I went down a 5 hour research rabbit hole. Here's what I found, minus things that don't really give insight into the effectiveness of drugs.

The first thing I learned was that "doping", as it's called in the business, is nowhere near a new thing. It dates back to the original Olympic Games of ancient Greece. Per Wikipedia, "Athletes were also known to drink "magic" potions and eat exotic meats in the hopes of giving them an athletic edge on their competition." And in the beginning of the modern era, things weren't much more sophisticated. The first documented case of doping in the modern Olympics was the winner of the 1904 Olympic Marathon, Tom Hicks, who was given strychnine and brandy to enhance his performance. And apparently, it worked! Hicks won gold that day, beating the second place runner by SIX (6) WHOLE MINUTES, which doesn't just mean that the first drugs used in the Olympics were rat poison and booze, but also that rat poison and booze actually worked.

Then athletes discovered they could improve their performance further by pumping a lot of testosterone and consuming a lot of amphetamines. Which makes sense; anabolic steroids are just synthetic testosterone and testosterone itself is a steroid so filling your body with even natural T is going to make a lad look roided. I don't think I need to explain how the amphetamines helped.

This led to the only drug-related Olympic death, where Knud Jensen fell off his bicycle and died during the road race at the 1960 Rome Olympics. Initially, it was thought he passed out from the heat. When it was discovered that he was actually on massive amounts of Ronicol (basically meth), a lot of sports organizations banned drugs and the ICO followed not long after, leading to the eventual formation of the WADA (World Anti-Doping Agency) in 1999. Because of these new bans, we have the very comical first OFFICIAL CASE of doping, where Hans-Gunnar Liljenwall was disqualified for "[having] two beers, to steady his nerves". Alcohol is considered by the ICO and WADA to be doping; I just think it's funny that even though he was technically on performance-enhancing drugs he still only won bronze. So i guess the conclusion there is "booze works, but only strong booze", which all of us already knew.

Now we've made it to what most people likely think of when they think "Olympic doping scandals": The good ol' USSR (plus West Germany)

Both East and West Germany and Russia were notorious for doping their athletes, or at least for being accused of it. There is an 800-page dossier detailing West Germany's use of PED's in sporting events, both in and out of the Olympics. It was most prevalent during Munich 1972 and Montreal 1976, when apparently more than twelve hundred East German athletes were doped. In '72, East Germany scored 66 medals, and in '76 they scored 90, and interestingly enough the US and the Soviet Union were the only countries to score more in total. East Germany also won more Gold than the US in '76. In 1976, the original winner for the 110+ kilo category for weightlifting was Valentin Khristov, about whom I was able to find next to nothing, not evenhow much he lifted. But he was disqulified for testing positive for anabolic steroids, and even on the offifcial Olympics website his score has been replaced with "Disqualified". The medal went to the runner-up, Vasiley Alexseyev, who lifted 260 KILOS (572 POUNDS). Which means that whatever Khristov lifted, it was more. So the steroids definitely played a role there.

In the next summer Olympics in 1980, there were so many doped athletes that an Australian study from 1989 said "There is hardly a medal winner at the Moscow Games, certainly not a gold medal winner, who is not on one sort of drug or another: usually several kinds."

The 1954 and 1966 World Cups also had doped-up German athletes, and any FIFA fan can tell you Germany won in 1954 and would've won in 1966 if not for a Hat-Trick scored by England's Geoff Hurst. However, I feel I should add that the Hungarian team they were playing against in '54 scored more goals than them over the course of the tournament, if that added context matters, which I wouldn't know because the only football I watch is Gaelic Football.

But after all this research i started thinking about other ways performance could be enhanced, namely through cybernetics. Imagine an Olympics where the athletes aren't on drugs, but have cybernetic limbs/possibly even organs that are orders of magnitude more efficient and powerful than an ordinary human's. Eventually, if cybernetic enhancements become an actual thing made by private companies and not the military, one of those corporations is probably going to do something like that. An "Enhanced Olympics", if you will, or at least that's what I'd call it because it sounds badass. Something like the 1892 Chicago World Expo, except with more cyborgs and hopefully less H. H. Holmes. Just to showcase how much better people with their products can perform. Completely normal looking humans with god-like strength, reflexes, and flexibility. Could you imagine?

Right off the bat the athletes are breaking long-standing world records. A US Marine Corps Veteran, who has both of his legs but hasn't walked in years, absolutely shatters the triple jump record, seeming to almost fly through the air. His final distance is over 27 meters ( 88.5 feet).

Now there's no telling what the longest triple jump will be by the time this takes place, if ever. The current world record was set in 1995 and has yet to be broken, but I can guarantee that if a new record is set, and then ten new records thereafter, the new world record won't be 27 meters. In fact, I can guarantee that it won't even be 25, and I can also say with a great degree of certainty that it won't be 20. Because that 1995 record? It's only 18.29 meters. The previous 10 records are all within CENTIMETERS of each other, and the previous HUNDRED RECORDS aren't even shorter by a single meter. As a matter of fact, the world record hasn't even increased by 5 meters from the first ever Olympic triple jump of 13.71 meters (A litle less than 45 feet), which was done at the 1896 Olympics.

So an unenhanced human getting 20 meters in the triple jump is damn near an impossibility, and 25 is entirely out of the question. Sure, maybe if some unassisted athlete trained insanely hard for their entire life, and maybe if that athlete were geeked out of their fucking mind on some probably-fatal cocktail of drugs, it could be theoretically possible for a normal human to do. But 27 meters is insanity to even hope to achieve. Go out and try to jump even 10, and you'll still fall far short. To get to 27 you'd have to be bred to be an Olympic long jumper, and even then you'd still need an unholy metric fuck ton of performance enhancing drugs. And here's this paralytic 50-something, crushing it like it's nothing to him.

And as the other Olympians step forward for their sports, it becomes clear that it was nothing to him.

Because he wasn't even trying. But the next ones don't hold back.

The same kind of thing happens for the other events. One by one these enhanced olympians are annihilating the concept of possibility. Javelin throwers launch javelins out of the stadium; Gymnasts perform mindbending routines not on balance beams but on slackline suspended dozens of meters in the air; wrestlers dislocate and relocate their own bones painlessly to escape impossible choke holds and figure-fours.

Sure, it's a capitist cash grab, and the early testing phases for the technology would no doubt be painful. But somehow I feel like Hephaestus would look at what the sons of men are doing and smile.