#i feel like I'm always mourning

[fagnumopus]

[vaguely-concerned]

lucanis truly has a near terminal case of burned out golden child syndrome. caterina fucked both of these kids over so incredibly bad with the dynamic she enforced there, with illario being labled the perpetual fuckup kid where lucanis 'could do no (would never be allowed to do) wrong'. the way he admits in the first coffee date scene that the only thing that happened when he showed he could carry the weight of expectation was that more weight was added makes me so sad. you can hear it in caterina's voice in his intro mission that she's incredibly proud of him, but this is clearly a leandra and hawke situation where that pride never translates into relief or resolution or unconditional warmth or understanding or anything that really helps.

[martyrbat]

perpetual mourning – batman black and white (1996) #1

[ID: a black and white panel sequence of Bruce Wayne as Batman investigating a murder. He performed an examination of the victim's body and found DNA evidence to convict her killer and then performed an autopsy to examine her stomach contents — which led him to a little 24/7 diner. He walks in, disrupting the cozy scene with his presence.

Bruce internally reflects, ‘People think i'm a knight. A savior. But in truth, I'm only a vessel to hold the memories of those who've passed on. Those who've no shell left to store them. They must think I revel in my victories. It must seem like I never lose a fight. I lose plenty. The ones I couldn't get to. The ones I couldn't save in time. Those are the ones I carry around inside of me. Those are the ones I'll mourn forever.’

He shows the only waitress a photo of the victim's face and asks, “Excuse me. Do any of you know this woman?” The waitress gasps and holds her hand to her head in shocked distress. She stammers, “That's Chelsea, she comes in here all the time. Sits in the same booth, the same time, reads the same book... um, what was the title...? She, uh, left here only a couple of... Why do you... Oh, god. No. Dear girl...”

Back at the morgue, Bruce solemnly gazes down at the woman as she lays in an unzipped body bag. He thinks, ‘Luckily, you hadn't digested your last meal, Chelsea. There're only a few places in the neighborhood where you were found that serve blueberry pie at this hour of the morning.’ He carefully zips the body bag entirely. The identification label states she was a thirty year old caucasian female. The name ‘Jane Doe’ has been scribbled out to now be replaced with ‘Chelsea Rain’. Bruce continues to ruminate, ‘You only have your thoughts and dreams ahead of you. You're someone. You mean something. I'll remember. You're within me now. Forever.’ END ID]

[sainz100]

idk how to explain it, but I feel this small bubble of hope. as if some good news is right around the corner 🫧🌅 not yet, but maybe soon, I'll always feel that hope that the next chapter will be better than the last

[sysig]

Nice healthy obsession you got there (Patreon)

[chainofclovers]

Being a human is literally like this weird combo of being okay and not okay that goes on forever except there is also death

[that-spider-fan-over-there]

I've been thinking about Ochako's role in the story, and thinking about how underdeveloped she was compared to Izuku, Shoto or Katsuki's, which got me thinking about it and since the manga's in its final arc and there's nothing to lose, why the heck not.

If Izuku is set up as someone born with "nothing", Shoto as born with "everything" and Katsuki as someone who was born loved, why not set Ochako as someone who wanted to give back love? It'd be a nice four-way connection/foil, considering she should've been set up as one of the main players of BNHA.

Ochako foiling Shoto alongside Izuku and Katsuki as born and raised in a loving environment, and how they've responded in comparison to his broken family unit - since she's the poorest classmates with humble beginnings and he's the son of a top 10 hero;

Ochako foiling Izuku alongside Shoto and Katsuki as born with something he "lacks" in comparison - which is both opportunity his Quirkless background wouldn't give and his shattered sense of self worth, compared to her who would be okay with being anything else but decided to be a hero for the money she could provide for her family;

Ochako foiling Katsuki alongside Izuku and Shoto as someone who started off as a hero who wants to help others in contrast to his motivation to be a hero who never loses a battle, with her sharing that same competitive streak and fighting edge while ultimately focusing on helping others before her. (Which is something Izuku does fill in the story but it could've worked imo)

This is partly because I want to imagine if she was part of the Endeavor Internship Arc, she'd benefit from forming a deep bond with the main deuteragonists on some level, if only to take her out of the preconceived notion she's there to be Izuku's love interest first and foremost- removing that aspect or using that expectation she's there to revolve around him to make her "one of the boys", give her the rotating spotlight a bit more.

But also it'd be a nice setup as as she could compare her background to Shoto and reflect on how she perceived the ideal hero vs. how flawed they can actually be, and her reason to be there could've been she's looking for a way to be strong in a way that can properly help others after Sir Nighteye's death. Imagine the bond they'd have if they were allowed to interact with each other the same way they do with Izuku and Tenya.

The less wealthy classmate with a loving and supportive family and the most wealthy and well-known classmate with a broken and dysfunctional family, two of Izuku's closer friends being inspired by him and trying to break away from the labels others pushed on them and be their own people? One with envy for a villain who reminds her of feelings she wanted to bottle up and the other whose villain's anger mirrored his former to his consumed his family for years? And yet both coming out of their experiences wanting to extend their hands to Himiko and Touya, to start anew and ease that pain?

And with the Paranormal Liberation Front Arc, you could still split her up but using that as a build up, with her and Shoto following Izuku and Katsuki, but she sees people in need of saving and decides to help others instead; make her confrontation with Himiko happen before Dabi's Dance; then let her join the battlefield shakened after spotting Gigantomachia from a distance. (Would it be cluttered? A little, but that arc was already somewhat cluttered, coming from someone who loves that arc A Lot.)

And to avoid her from being too OP, one could make her try to fight but still thinking of Himiko's tears while using her grappling hooks or Zero Gravity on debris to stop Gigantomachia- it could've foreshadow the conflicting emotions she feels are allowing her to surpass her own limits there and come back full force during her fight with Himiko later on, similar to Katsuki with his Cluster technique or Shoto developing Phosphor.

And imagine her worldview shattering even more from finding out a hero would fall so deep into obsession into being the greatest, he lost sight it what it means to be a hero and it created his own villain. Wouldn't that push her even further to try and be a hero the others can rely on, and later, the one Himiko needed? After all, if Ochako and Himiko already parallel, let's use the love thematics; they both love passionately, and unlike Himiko, Ochako didn't give up on a better world for everyone- she just realized what everyone entails.

Just thoughts from someone who'd love to see Ochako breaking out of that label of "love interest"- love and passion are a defining part of her, but her crush shouldn't be her defined role, the story itself has realized that. But it could've realized a lot sooner. It probably wouldn't have removed the fandom's perception of her, but it would've helped her in the long run, especially when the merch set her up as even more of an protagonist, and to an extent it feels like the fans want to believe she was planned to be like that when we know Horikoshi was playing around with her character until he finally settled on what to do with Himiko and wrote Ochako around it.

[obstinatecondolement]

I wish I could go back in time and convince my past self that I was not morally obligated to give my time and mental energy to listening to and thinking about the things people who constantly spoke to and about me in disparaging, angry ways had to say about social issues and that constantly feeling miserable and obsessing over how I was Evil was not only not a vital prerequistive for moral growth, it was actively making it harder for me to make moral choices.

But, I mean, these things take time. I guess. Sure would be nice if it was possible to just wave a magic wand and not have harmful core beliefs anymore that you knew on an intellectual level weren't true and were harmful to you, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[sskk-manifesto]

Omg I actually enjoyed this episode quite a bit!!!

[builtyouahousefromabrokenhome]

.

[petrichorvoices]

we have been having really poor self esteem and frankly just a poor mental state lately and i don't know how to even approach it like. okay. we got out of those house, we came back home, we're back at university. we should be doing better. but we're not, we're just not. we're using substances to a greater degree than we ever have before, we're pathetically lonely, our self esteem is a flimsy roller coaster. i just feel stuck because we can't tell ourself anymore "just wait until the fall, it'll be fine in the fall" because the fall has come and we are doing badly

[blackvahana]

Photo that looks like Yahar'gul on my dash, thinking about how Lev said ANVD is a land of the Sun because... as a sun spirit, the suns now. uh. I don't really want to get into it just yet because territorial animalistic feelings over what I create, but the sun I've decided to just allow to be my metaphorical paintbrush

Anyway. He said that and... My house is slowly turning more into this motif that's been echoing since I created a mindspace with lull when we thought we were a system, sort of? I always have houses now with courtyards in the middle of them, starting from there. Yahar'gul was also The Sunshine Village to us, in that we felt like it worshiped the Sun and the Sun was a huge part of it pre-Bloodborne's timeline... Which of course I now know has huge implications with regards to it being a mirror of the Drowned City and Lev, who I didn't know personally at the time, being a Sun god and all the complicated shit between the two of them... It was just sort of... I don't know. I don't know whether it's "ANVD was a part of me the whole time" or "I could've gone down, and was being brought down, a really bad nightmarish facsimile of the path I was supposed to be on". Maybe it's both, I feel like ANVD has been around since before it's creation in the way Lev says he knew me (Dei) before I was born (as Dei)... But anyway. It was kinda... I don't know the feeling I'm supposed to have here

Anyway. I was thinking about that

Lev was telling me about his study which I did actually remember talking to him about, I was half asleep but definitely awake.. He was sort of fixated on the sunlight in the room and you know. Yeah. Land of the Sun. It does hurt I think, the Sunshine Village I was convinced this life was my home, fake memories obscuring real ones.... And yet... Home is touchable. I knew I belonged to a place of sun's power I just never thought I'd get back in my feet and be allowed to be a sky god again, I thought I'd always be stuck down here

[zazikels]

Vermithor and Silverwing are the only real examples we have of dragons that actively had a bond with each other.

[ame-to-ame]

there are things that you don't do for a year or more and pick up just right where you left off and these days i fear loving you might be one of them

[marcelinethevampirequeer]

god forbid a girl searches the latest show she watched on tumblr which she loved for its representation of friendship not as less than romantic relationships but just as important or more, without tumblr, on brand, shipping the fuck out of those characters in 90% of the posts about said media

[harmofud]

The news these days that greet me when I wake up are all like

"America's Inevitable Civil War"

"This Group of People Think the World is Ending: Here's How To DIY a Bunker"

"What Makes a Traitor a Traitor? A Look Into Semantics"

"How to Recover After Losing Your Home for the Eighth Time to The Horrid Weather and Climate"

"The Youth are Depressed These Days. Here's Why"

"Feeling Down? It Might Be Your Fault"

"A Climate Scientist Has Stated That We Are All Fucked"

"Should You Prepare for a Coup After Election Day? Here's What the Experts Say"

"Costco Membership Now Requires a Social Security Number to Enter the Building"

"How Your State's Ban on A Type of Person Could Affect You"

"Amazon Has a New Deal: Work in Their Towns and Get Amazon Dollars"

"Have No Money? It Might Be Your Fault"

"When is Genocide a Genocide? A Look Into Semantics"

"Fried Chicken Recipe"