#i feel horrible asking for help but my parents are struggle I’m tired of being a burden 😭
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Okay I always feel really bad asking that so I never do, but this time I really need help me paying for an eye exam and new glasses it would be kind of you 😔
One hinge broke and I had to glue it and it’s fine but now the rims is seperating from the lenses and that’s bad :( I have a wedding to go too Sunday so if I can at least try to get them repaired until I have money I would be happy
Kofi : https://ko-fi.com/alexkorimi
Also donate to 🇵🇸 if you can they need it more than me
#i try to put a elastic so it dosen’t get worst but it’s not really working as you can see but it is a little bit less separate so I kept it#i feel horrible asking for help but my parents are struggle I’m tired of being a burden 😭#no i have no job that’s why I feel bad and I need one but anxiety is evil when you look for one I’m trying#I’ve got some good idea I will send cvs soon#but they can’t really wait if I don’t have glasses I’m blind af#alex.txt#please reblog if you want#mutual aid
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Hi!
I have horrible OCD and I can’t get my mind to understand the way I need to differentiate between my desired reality and my thoughts.
I’ve been struggling with it for months because of coaches and people always saying our thoughts are what create our reality. Since I’ve come to understand that the 4D and our imagination creates our reality, and reality is an echo of our thoughts, it’s really fucked up my entire faith and I can’t trust my own words and desires anymore.
I can only bring myself to manifest smaller things like money, or clearer skin and longer hair etc because of fears. My mind has convinced me I have illness and that Ill never get to reality shift because of my OCD, and what’s so scary is that it feels so real.
I don’t know what to do anymore, I don’t know how to release this energy of constantly being convinced there’s illness in me or my own parent, I have no idea what I can visualize to make things better because my mind just shows me images of me and my parent sick all day. I don’t know what mindset I can have apart from the fact that reality is an echo of our thoughts.
Do I continue to affirm that my desired thoughts obliterates and destroys my fears of illness even thought I constantly get scary images that feel so real? I don’t have anyone who understands my problems at such a spiritual level and I’ve tried so hard to find meditations exactly for this but none of them fit to my standards.
I’m so tired and I’m almost completely giving up due to how real my OCD feels. It’s always surrounding illness in the stomach area which has created this horrible stuck energy that almost fuels my OCD. When Im most terrified what can I do?
What do I do?
Sorry for the long message! 🫶🏻🥺
Hello!
Surprisingly, this is not the first ask I get about manifesting/shifting while struggling with OCD (I'll leave the links down for you)
First, I have to say this because I can't, in good conscience, give you my advice without letting you know : I am not a professional. Manifestation and loa and shifting are not a replacement for professional help, so if you can, please speak to someone who knows what they're doing when it comes to complex mental health.
You said you can only bring yourself to manifest small things, then you listed things people have been struggling with for months! There are no small or big manifestations, everything is of equal value when it comes to loa, so already you've proven to be a powerful manifestor.
And yet, as powerful as you are, you haven't been able to manifest this illness that plagues your mind. You're not sick, your family is not sick, you're all doing just fine. So why is it that this particular thought didn't manifest when we always say that our thoughts create our realities?
The mind is a complex thing, and your subconscious is a sponge that absorbs whatever you tell it without debate or questions. However, manifesting is not simply thinking a thought and letting it come into your reality. Manifestation requires clear DESIRE. It needs a strong intention and a burning desire for that which you WANT to manifest. If you're thinking a thought and it feels so real and yet the whole time your mind is going " I don't want this! I don't want this outcome! Please don't bring this into my 3d reality, this feels awful, I don't like this! Make it stop" you're signalling to your subconscious mind that this is not a desire, so it gets handled as such.
Intrusive thoughts are just that, a thought that doesn't belong and is intruding on your normal line of thinking. You can't manifest that which you do not desire. Your mind is smarter than that, the universe is smarter than that!
Check out these posts if you have more questions about this, and happy manifesting ❤️
#law of assumption#loassumption#loa tumblr#loa blog#manifesting#loa affirmations#shiftblr#reality shifting#shifting community#shifting#loa success#loablr#master manifestor#affirm and persist#loa#loa advice#affirmations#robotic affirmations#affirmyourreality#actually ocd#mental illness#mental health#shifter#reality shifting community
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Hi there - I’ve followed your blog for a while now, as I’ve been through some horrific abuse in my life and I can relate to the things you post.
I’m having a really horrible night after a week of just straight up not having a good time. I don’t really have anyone I can reach out to so I hope it’s okay that I vent here. I am not asking you, Dear Stranger, to fix any of the things I’m struggling with- I simply want someone in this world to see the depths of the pain I am in. You don’t have to read this or respond if you don’t want to.
I am feeling incredibly overwhelmed and the distress I am in is absolutely intolerable. All of the non-harmful coping mechanisms I know aren’t working and I’m frightened. I want to off myself so bad. I want to turn back to SH. I want to find someone to beat me half to death because that’s all I deserve.
I hate myself so much. I’m two-years-free of the the abuse I experienced and now I have a beautiful home, a dog who is the goodest girl in the whole world, a partner who is kind and compassionate and gentle, and a community of people who care for me deeply. I’m sober, I’ve been in therapy basically all my life (I’ve been working with my current therapist for three years), I’ve found the right meds. I thought I was far enough into recovery that my ED isn’t an issue. I’m doing everything within my power to stay healthy and to care for myself and yet… I’m broken. My brain is a cruel, dark cage that I pace within, all anger and venom and grief.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me at this point. No matter what I do, my mental health isn’t getting better. I have all of these wonderful blessings in my life yet I’m suicidal. I don’t know how to continue like this. The pain is intolerable. I’m so fucking tired. I’m tired of trying everything and nothing working long-term. I’m only 25 years old, and I cannot imagine living like this for a full lifetime. I am in so much fucking pain and I just can’t do this anymore. I feel like a horrible person. I feel so much shame for being fucked up beyond repair.
I don’t know what to do. I’m not at a point where I am actually going to make a plan and follow through, so I’m not “bad” enough for inpatient. I went inpatient multiple times before after my many suicide attempts and I’m not in need of that level of care. Yet, the level of care my therapist and psychiatrist can offer isn’t enough. I feel like I’m stuck in this in-between place, where I desperately need help before i get worse (because I know where this leads and I’m going to get worse if this keeps going). It doesn’t seem like there’s help for people like me, people who are doing the therapeutic work, who are sober and on the right medication, and have been working towards recovery and mental-illness management since they were children, who have been lucky enough to be able to utilize every resource this fucked up American system can offer, yet are still suicidal. I don’t feel like there’s any hope for me at this point.
I know that when my parents die, I’m going to kill myself.. Because reasons, I can’t work enough to afford to live on my own (my parents help me financially) and when they die, I’m not going to be able to support myself. I also can’t qualify for anything like disability because I can keep a job (part-time, minimal hours but it’s not enough to support me long-term). I won’t be able to afford my medication or therapy without insurance. If I go off my meds, that’s it, I’m as good as dead. Literally, being on my medication right now is the one thing separating me from life or death. If I go off my meds, I will kill myself, full stop. I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do.
I don’t want to hurt my parents and my partner and leave my sweet dog all alone by killing myself, but I’m so fucking scared I’m going to get worse and I won’t be able to handle it anymore. I just can’t do this anymore. I don’t know what to do. I just want this fucking pain to end. I want this to be over. Please, why can’t this just be over? I’m doing everything I can and it’s not enough. I’m still suffering to an intolerable extreme, all because of my stupid fucked up BPD traumatized brain. I’m so fucking done.
i’m so sorry angel :( i wish i could help you feel better, i really do. It’s hard when we have good things happening but still feel like shit :( it happens and healing isn’t linear. there will be bad days and there will be good days and then there will just be days. i really wish i could say more :(
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Fred Weasley×Fem!O.C.
Preview: what's in store for Fred eight years after the war, when a new employee joins their shop?
Word count: 4.6 K
Warnings: age gap (legal), angst, mentions of food, mentions of war and injury, slight struggle with body image, family and kids, mostly fluff, mentions of sex, smut in part 3.
A/N: Hey! Part 2 is here. This is my first ever fic, so I'm very open to suggestions and feedbacks. Huge thank you to @sai-kida134 for editing the story. I hope you like it!
Part 1 || Part 3
“I should get going too.” Ivy said, blushing a little at suddenly being left alone with Fred. She’d been around him several times, but it was always in the presence of George or one of her co-workers.
“Did you have lunch today? I didn’t see you eat.” He quizzed.
“Nope. And you didn’t either.” She reminded.
“I’m fucking tired today. Don’t feel like cooking.” He sighed.
“There’s a really good muggle Chinese restaurant, near Leaky. You should try it.” She suggested.
“Come with me then.” He said simply. “I’m sure you’re tired too. And I owe you one for helping me out today.”
“Oh that’s absolutely alright. I had a great time with Freddy today.”
“And a great time should end with a great meal. Come on now!” He leaped up to her and grasped her hand with his own.
Ivy felt everything slowly fade away at that moment. Her mind went blank when Fred took a hold of her hand, guiding her through the crowd towards the Leaky Cauldron. The scenario she’d made up in her head came to life so unexpectedly that she didn’t even realise when they’d crossed the wall that separated the magical world from the muggle one.
“Is it that one?” Fred asked, tugging her hand and pointing to a newly built restaurant, snapping her out of her dreams.
“Hmm? Oh yeah that one.” She said, taking lead this time and walking him into the restaurant.
They settled down at one of the tables, and their food was served, and they fell into an easy conversation soon enough.
“Thanks for taking care of Junior today.” Fred said. “And thank you again for saving him from the bottles. I can’t imagine what would’ve happened if you weren’t around.”
“No point worrying about that now. I’m sure you’d have found a way to save him if I wasn’t around,” Ivy said. “Plus he’s really cute.”
“Takes after his best uncle, doesn’t he?” Fred said cockily, making her laugh.
“He is a lot like you, though. I can’t imagine what your parents had to do to keep you and George in check.”
“We were horrible. Probably worse than ten Juniors put together,” He replied. “And we’re seven siblings, each as bad as the other.”
“Your parents are superheroes.” She grinned.
“Definitely are,” He grinned back. “What about your family? Never heard much from you.”
“I’m an only child and I’m not close with my parents either, so it’s pretty boring. My Mum’s a witch, Dad’s a muggle. They’re on a World Tour right now. They write to me sometimes but I haven’t seen them for almost three years.” She shrugged.
“Oh. So you’re... alone?” He asked cautiously, finding the situation weird. He was raised in a tightly knit family and never understood how families could drift apart.
“Yeah, kind of lonely. That’s probably why I’m all awkward while talking to anyone.”
“You’re not awkward. I think you’re quite pleasant actually.” He said immediately. “And you’re not alone now, you’ve got me. George, and Angie too now. Junior’s pretty fond of you, so he’ll be back soon enough.”
“Thanks Fred.” She smiled.
“Do you have a boyfriend? Or a girlfriend?”
“Nope. Haven’t had one since my ex-boyfriend cheated on me in seventh year. Fucking prick.” She huffed.
“That makes me feel all better.” He grinned, trying to make her feel better. “Haven’t been with anyone for years, unless you consider one-night stands.”
“My ex was terrible at sex so I avoided it as much as I could.” She giggled at the memory. “I’ve never had a one night stand though... Is it worth a try?”
“No harm in trying if you want to. But they’re too desperate in my opinion.” He said. “And you know, once you cross twenty five, I think you’d like to have... more feelings involved.”
“I’ve had enough desperate sex with that git. So I’m just going to stay here.” She laughed.
“I’ll be right with you. I stopped with all that stuff when Junior was born because I spend so much time around him... Wanted to be a good influence and ended up having some sort of abstinence vow.”
“What?” She asked, wide eyed. “You’re Fred Weasley, ‘lady killer’ of Hogwarts!”
Fred raised an eyebrow at that, so she continued to explain what she meant.
“I went to Hogwarts the year after you’d left. Your exit from Umbridge was pretty popular at the time, so girls would go mad at any mention of you.”
“Let’s say ‘lady killer’ Fred Weasley almost got killed in a war, woke up in St. Mungos’ and decided to act more responsibly in his relationships,” He said with a smirk. “That, and the fact that he’s practically disabled, with a fake leg makes him useless.”
“Fred you’re not useless!” She scolded immediately, and without second thought, she grabbed his hand that was resting on the table. “Stop saying that about yourself.”
“Well it’s true. No point denying it.” He shrugged.
“Oh shut up, will you? You’re literally such an amazing person,” She said, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “As far as I’ve got to know you, you really love your job and your family, and you’re always so kind to everyone. And you’re obviously not dependent on anyone to do anything for you. Not that it would have been a bad thing if you were, but I saw you run on the street an hour back so that prosthetic doesn’t seem to have changed much in your life, physically that is.”
“You’re so brave to have fought against Voldemort in that war. You kept going through all that pain and you’re still here and I’m so happy to be able to talk to you right now, Fred.” She said, getting almost breathless after that long speech.
Fred just stared blankly at her for a few seconds. He’d rarely mentioned his insecurity to anyone other than his family, and the only thing he’d received were pitiful agreements or bad puns to distract him from it, the latter usually from George or Ron. But hearing Ivy’s words actually made him feel comfortable being himself, for the first time in eight years. He wondered where all that compassion could possibly come from, especially since he’d just found out about the lack of love that she’d received from her family. He looked at the girl in front of him in pure wonder. How could someone be kind enough to accept him the way he was, without showing the slightest bit of pity towards him?
“Thanks... Thank you Ivy.” He smiled slightly, squeezing her hand with his own. “I’ve got loads to thank you for today, haven’t I?”
“I’d do all of it again any day, Fred.” She replied softly. “And if you ever talk yourself down again, I’ll hit you with my bat.”
“Aggressive young lady, aren’t you?” He chuckled.
“Very.”
Fred grinned at that, before getting back to his meal, but not letting go of her hand that was still delicately intertwined with his.
“Speaking of the war,” Fred said after a little while, “were you at Hogwarts that night? I don’t think I ever figured out what they did with younger students.”
“Yeah I was there. I was in my second year so I obviously was supposed to be sent away with underage students,” She said. “But I was kind of stupid, thought it would be a good idea to sneak away from the rest of the group and fight.”
“So you stayed the entire night?” Fred asked in surprise.
“Yup. Almost got caught by Nott Sr. He’s my mother’s brother, actually. She got disowned when she ran away from her arranged marriage and married my father.” She said, and Fred nodded, signalling her to continue.
“He was after me as revenge, had me cornered, but Theo Nott suddenly decided he wanted to save me because we’re cousins. So he jinxed his father and hid with me in a passage in the Dungeons until morning.”
“Explains why Theodore Nott was so happy to see you at the shop,” Fred smiled. “You’ve got a bit of family, see.”
“Maybe. I do see him and Daphne more than my parents. The only good thing from that battle.”
“I really don’t remember much from that night, other than a few of the Death Eaters’ kids joining our side. Hit my head when I got crushed under a wall on the seventh floor.” Fred said.
“I think I saw you in the Great Hall in the morning. Your entire family was there to take you to St. Mungos’.” She replied, subconsciously moving her thumb in circles over Fred’s knuckles.
“Bet I looked handsome as ever.” He said cheekily
“Absolutely marvellous.”
“Better than George?”
“George was a mess that day. I saw him crying with one of your older brothers, I think. And I just hoped you’d be okay.”
“Your wish came true then.” He said, staring right into her eyes, beginning to play with one of the rings on her fingers, making her aware of her thumb’s movement, which she quickly stopped.
“It really did.” She said nervously, her mind forming another wish. I wish I could kiss you, Fred Weasley.
After settling their bill, which Fred refused to let her pay once again, they walked outside onto the muggle street.
“I should head home then. Thanks for today, Fred.” Ivy said, looking up at him.
“I should be the one thanking you, Ivy.” He smiled down at her “That corner seems nice. You can apparate from there.”
“Oh no, I prefer walking, actually. Bit of an after dinner exercise.” She smiled
“It’s late. Mind if I walk you home then?”
“You don’t have to. You look tired.” She said, reaching her hand up to fix his messy hair. “You use your phone right? I’ll text you once I get back.”
“I’m quite enjoying your company,” He replied, once again taking her hand in his. “I thought we could chat some more on the way. Only if you want to.”
“I’d love to.”
The twenty minute walk to Ivy’s flat flew by faster than ever, with Fred’s hand tightly gripping hers as they chatted about anything they could imagine on the way. When they finally reached her door, Fred untangled his fingers from hers, allowing her to unlock it and step inside.
“Come in for a drink?” She asked nervously.
“Gladly, but not today. I’m rather full.” He smiled. “I’ll be off then.”
“Why don’t you Floo back to your place? It’s pretty hot outside to walk anyways.” She suggested.
“Now that, is a good idea.” He smirked, resting his hands on either side of the door frame and towering above her slightly. “Desperate to get me in your apartment, hmm?” He said teasingly, cocking his head to one side.
“You wish.” She retorted, rolling her eyes but still blushing. “Now get in or I’ll take the offer back.”
“YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU HAVE A CAT!” He shouted from the door, and Ivy realised there was a pool of brown fur around his ankles.
“Two, actually. This is Lola.” She said, picking the cat off his feet with one arm, before diving under the couch to retrieve a white cat. “And this is Lizzy. Must’ve missed telling you.”
“I never thought of you as a cat person.” He smiled.
“Really? I thought I look like a crazy cat lady, through and through.”
Fred held his hands out to the cats, and each of them placed a paw in his hands.
“Look Ivy they already like me!” He exclaimed like a little child.
“They’re really friendly.” Ivy smiled at him.
“And I’m very likable.” He said, making Ivy snort with laughter. Of course he was likeable. He was bloody adorable.
“Nice place you’ve got here.” He complimented, walking further inside and looking around the living room, and picking Lola up. “All yours?”
“Yeah. Theo made sure I inherited my share of the Nott fortune. Quite an angel he’s turned into.” She replied, walking into the kitchen with Lizzy and getting the Floo Powder.
“All Daphne’s work, I tell you. He was a spoilt brat back at school.” Fred said, leaning against the fireplace as he ran his fingers through a purring Lola’s fur. “I’m thankful to him now, though.”
“Why?” She asked, stepping into the living room, towards the fireplace.
“He saved you. I wouldn’t have had you if it wasn’t for him.” He answered, letting Lola jump onto the floor and surprising her with a hug and engulfing her in his scent.
Ivy was sure that he could hear her heart beating wildly in her ribcage, and when she rested her head against his chest, she heard his thump at a faster than usual.
“I can’t imagine what it would have been like without you either, Fred.” She whispered into the hug.
“Good thing I’m here then. Don’t let your imagination get to wild.” He said, letting go of her and winking, before grabbing a fistful of the green powder. “Goodnight kitties. See you tomorrow Ivy?”
“See you tomorrow.” She smiled, waving at him with one hand and taming a squirming Lizzy with the other, as he disappeared into the green flames.
Fred knew for a fact now that he didn’t just like Ivy. He was in love with Ivy. And every bit of him knew he shouldn’t be, but he couldn’t help it. She was his newfound source of comfort, the person he could talk to about anything in the world without the slightest tinge of awkwardness. Their friendship had grown so much during the next few days that George had asked him if there was something more between them. He’d obviously denied it, even though he knew he can’t ever lie to his brother. Maybe Fred was too obvious, but there was nothing he could do about it. She could brighten his day up with her random chatter and soft smile. He couldn’t stop looking at her, even if she was doing something as mundane as counting the money in the tills. Her hair falling until her waist, her brown eyes that lit up when she smiled, her homely scent that had managed to follow him to the Amortentia section... Fred felt intoxicated by her.
Ivy had never felt what she was currently feeling about Fred. Each morning, she’d wake up, get to practice and then wait impatiently for it to end, so that she could get to the shop and see him. After they would close down for the night, she tried to stay back until the other employees had left, so that she could spend just a few extra minutes around him. She risked admiring him during working hours, sometimes finding him looking back at her, and when their eyes would meet, he’d give her his brightest smile, making all her exhaustion fade away. She was scared of these feelings, and some part of her was sure it was more than just a crush at this point, perhaps even love. But what was the point keeping these feelings if they were never to be reciprocated?
The six ladies of the Weasley family had grown incredibly close over the years and often got themselves a ‘girls day’ to catch up with each other, go shopping and leave the children with the men. On one such day, they decided to visit Diagon Alley and naturally walked into Weasleys’ Wizarding Wheezes to see how their favourite shop was doing. The twins were obviously aware of their visit beforehand, so as soon as George spotted them walking inside the store, both him and Fred ran up to the women, embracing each one of them and slipping into an easy conversation. After a few minutes, they insisted going around the shop, wishing to have a look at the new products that had been put up for sale.
Ivy was stocking one of the shelves on the first floor, unaware of the latest arrivals at the shop. She was made aware of their presence when she heard Angelina’s voice, calling to her from a little distance, still out of her sight.
“Ivy! Where are you my girl?” She shouted.
“Right here! Hello Angelina.” She waved, walking towards her and realising she wasn’t alone. “Hey everyone.”
“Oh good to finally meet the girl both my Freds won’t stop talking about!” A short woman with ginger hair spoke up.
“You must be Mrs. Weasley.” Ivy said, shaking her hand.
“Hi, I’m Fleur.” A beautiful woman with a strong French accent and long silvery hair said, approaching her and kissing both her cheeks in a proper French greeting. “You seem as nice as Fred says.”
“I’m Audrey. Nice to meet you!” Another woman, as tall as Fleur, with a short black bob and glasses said.
Ivy turned to the two other women, immediately recognising them to be (a very pregnant) Hermione Granger and Ginny Weasley. She controlled her urge to absolutely fangirl over Ginny, her favourite Quidditch player and idol.
“It’s great to meet all of you. I’ve heard so much about from the twins.” Ivy smiled.
“Angie says you’re training for Quidditch? How’s it going?” Hermione asked.
“It’s going well, Ms. Granger. Thank you.”
“Oh my God, don’t be that formal!” Audrey patted her shoulder lightly. “All of us would like being called by our first names.”
“Yeah. Though it was rather nice being called Ms. Granger.” Hermione said.
“I know!” Ginny exclaimed. “Everyone calls you four ‘Mrs. Weasley’ since you married my brothers, and I’m always like, isn’t that Mum?”
“I love being called Ms. Jones at work. My boss has a bit of a memory problem so she keeps forgetting.” Audrey said, making everyone laugh.
“Honestly, it’s alright being called ‘Mrs. Weasley’ when I’m with Bill, but c’mon!” Fleur said, rolling her eyes. “I’m still a Delacour.”
“Getting married doesn’t make you any less of a Delacour, or Granger, or Weasley or Jones or Johnson.” Ivy said thoughtfully. “Or even Prewett for that matter. That’s forever. People keep forgetting it and that’s what pisses me off about the tradition of taking the husband’s last name.”
“There we go. My kind of person.” Ginny said. “Go feminists!”
“I didn’t think being called a Prewett after so many years could make me feel that good.” Mrs. Weasley said finally, grinning. “I’m going to make sure it’s done more often now.”
“You should, Mum.” Fleur nodded. “Anyways, let’s sit down.”
Ivy got them settled on a couch near the Love Potion section on the first floor and added some chairs, allowing the six of them to sit comfortably.
“Could I get you something? Perhaps some butterbeer?” She asked politely, trying to keep her mind off the fact that the section oozed with Fred’s smell.
“No dear, we’re all settled.” Mrs. Weasley smiled.
“Join us, actually.” Hermione said, patting the empty spot next to herself.
“I’d love to, but I’ve got to get back to stocking up.” Ivy replied.
“Oh come on!” Ginny whined. “One of those gits can do some work for a bit.”
“We’ll let them know you’re on a break.” Audrey said, getting up and leaning against the railing. “OI BOYS! FRED, GEORGE!” She shouted, “IVY’S GOING TO CHILL OUT WITH US.”
“WE’RE NOT LETTING HER DO ANY WORK AS LONG AS WE’RE HERE.” Hermione added casually, before they settled back down.
“GOOD THING! SHE WORKS TOO HARD, DOESN’T SHE FREDDIE?” George shouted from downstairs.
“YEAH SURE!” Fred agreed. “WE’LL BE UPSTAIRS IN A BIT TOO!”
“Thank you.” Ivy said, slightly flushed.
“Hmm so now, tell us what you’ve been up to.” Ginny said, leaning back in her chair.
“I’m just training to be a Professional Beater. I’m a huge fan of yours by the way, and it’s so amazing to meet you!” Ivy replied, slightly squealing the last bit.
“Aww. That’s so sweet of her, isn’t it Gin?” Fleur said, slightly squeezing her hand.
“It really is. Thanks Ivy.” Ginny smiled. "Fred says you've got two cats!"
"Lizzy and Lola, yeah." Ivy smiled back.
"I'm getting little James here next week. If it would be okay, can you get your cats over for a day, please?" Ginny requested. "He loves cats so they'll be a nice distraction to him. Harry and I will be able to shop for a bit."
"Definitely."
Ivy fell into an easy conversation with the women. The level of comfort she felt with the Weasleys was beyond comparison. It didn’t seem like she was meeting them for the first time even for a single moment. No wonder she liked being around Fred and George if they were raised so well.
“What’s that smell?” George asked as he walked towards the women with a disgusted expression a little while later.
“Ugh it’s bad.” Fred said, walking up and placing his head on Ivy’s shoulder as he faced his family. Ivy didn’t know what to do. She’d never imagined him being so close to her, especially in front of his family.
“Must be all the pregnant farts.” He said, scrunching his nose, looking absolutely adorable, and earning gasps from Hermione, Angelina and to Ivy’s surprise, Ginny.
“I just smell the love potions, Fred.” Audrey said sarcastically.
“Maybe your brother-in-law is in love with a troll, Audrey,” Ivy teased, turning to look at Fred, who was still standing the same way. One slight movement and their lips would be touching.
Everyone began to laugh at that, except Fred, who’s eyes were wide as he kept staring at Ivy with a slight pink tinge to his cheeks.
“Gosh, I really like her!” Ginny said, clutching her stomach while laughing.
“We’ve found the one person who can return Fred Weasley’s horrible humour!” Angelina exclaimed.
“Good thing she didn’t turn out like that Verity girl.” Mrs. Weasley laughed.
“Absolutely nutcase that one was.” George rolled his eyes.
“Who’s Verity?” Ivy asked, slightly jealous. Was she one of Fred’s ex girlfriends? Maybe one of those stupid girls who made him feel like he wasn’t enough
“She used to work here. One of the first employees.” Fleur said.
“She acted all nice and sweet for a bit, then turned mad!” Hermione said, making Ivy’s jealousy fade away.
“I always told you she was a bitch, didn’t I?” Audrey said, before quickly turning to Mrs. Weasley. “Sorry mum. Didn’t mean to use that word.”
“Oh that one deserves it!” Mrs. Weasley laughed.
Ivy had never bonded so well with new people. The Weasleys were truly an amazing family, just like she’d heard from people. Hermione’s intelligent talk, Fleur’s caring nature, Audrey’s sarcasm, the Twins’ mischief, Angelina and Ginny’s boldness, all bound together by Mrs. Weasley’s motherly nature made the perfect atmosphere. Ivy truly felt welcomed among them. She did not have a family of her own to care for her and this small interaction with the Weasleys left her yearning for more, even if it was just a friendly chat. She secretly hoped that she could find herself a family, just like this one, who would accept her as one of their own. One day, perhaps. Until then, she’d have to go to the “Singles’ Party” at the Leaky Cauldron the following week and try to get her mind off Fred. Because no matter how lovely every fucking thing about him was, he couldn’t ever be hers.
“So, how’s Ivy doing?” George asked, serving himself some mashed potatoes that he’d had made. They were at the couple’s house, on their monthly dinner with Lee Jordan and his fiancée.
“What kind of question is that George? You meet her everyday too.” Fred said, looking at his brother curiously.
“Mate stop acting like you don’t know what he means.” Lee said from across the table.
“I really don’t know what he means, Lee.” Fred replied, looking around the table. He looked between Angelina and Sophie, Lee’s girlfriend, who seemed to be planning something. “What are you girls up to?”
“We were just talking about you two, Fred. We think you should make a move with her.” Sophie said.
Fred knew exactly what she meant, but chose to keep his confused expression, afraid of giving away his feelings for Ivy.
“Don’t make that face.” Angelina said. “You like Ivy, more than a friend.”
“No I don’t.” He replied too quickly.
“There’s nothing wrong if you do.” Lee insisted.
“But I don’t. What makes you think I do anyways?” He asked, trying to sound casual.
“Fred I’ve known you forever.” George said, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “You’ve never liked a girl so much before.”
“And your Mum approves of her too. She told me. All the girls do.” Sophie stated simply.
“Is that why you girls came to the shop the other day? To meet Ivy?” Fred asked, slightly irritated.
“Fred, Mum’s just worried about you. She’s really happy to hear you talk this way about someone.” Angelina said. “She wanted to make sure you don’t end up breaking your heart. And she’s sure Ivy likes you too.”
“No she doesn’t. She’s so much younger than me, and she’s... She’s got an entire life ahead of her. She deserves a proper man. Not me.” He shook his head.
“There’s nothing wrong with you. You are a proper man.” Lee argued.
“Just a prosthetic doesn’t make you ‘improper’,” Sophie added.
“You know what Junior said when he got back from the shop that night?” George said, gaining his brother’s attention. “He asked, ‘Daddy, are Uncle Freddie and Ivy in love?’”
“He’s two George. Kids don’t understand these things.” Fred said, running his hands through his hair.
“Kids are intuitive,” Angelina said. “They just know stuff. They don’t understand it, but they know.”
Fred passed a confused look around the table, unsure of what to say. The five sat in silence for a few minutes, until Lee spoke again.
“There’s no harm in just trying Fred,” He said wisely. “If she says no, you move on with your life, simple. But you can’t keep denying your feelings for her.”
“I’m... I’m not denying it Lee.” He said finally, resting his elbows on the table and leaning his head into his hands. “I like her. Bloody hell, I love her.”
“Then what’s stopping you, brother?” George asked softly.
“I don’t know.” He replied honestly, digging his fingers into his hair and closing his eyes. “It doesn’t feel right... Like I said, she deserves better.”
“You’re hurting yourself Fred. You’re in love with her and you’re trying to stop yourself from loving her.” Angelina said, but Fred remained silent.
“And what if she loves you too?” Sophie asked. “The girl’s probably scared shitless right now, being in love with her boss.”
“She doesn’t love me Sophie. I’m just a friend to her.”
“She definitely likes you more than a friend. From everything I’ve heard about her from you and George, and adding up what Freddy said, she does love you.” Lee said.
“I can’t do it. I can’t. I don’t want to lose her friendship,” Fred said stubbornly. “She feels lonely anyways. She told me so. I don’t want to complicate things further. She trusts me as a friend. I can’t do it.”
“Then what are you going to do?” George asked. “You can’t not do anything!"
“I don’t know Georgie.”
“Why don’t you try going to that Singles’ Party at Leaky next Saturday?” Angelina suggested.
“That’s actually the worst idea you’ve ever had.”
“It’s not that bad mate. It’ll take your mind off things for a bit.” Lee said.
“Doesn’t make a difference. I’m a mess.”
“Fred, you really should go. It’ll help clear your mind a bit.” Sophie said.
“They’re right. I think you’ll see others finding new people and want to make a move on Ivy too.” George agreed.
“Fine.”
“Here you go,” Lee smirked, tossing a box of condoms across the table. “I don’t like surprise babies.”
“I’m not hooking up with anyone from that stupid party!” Fred exclaimed.
“Yeah, yeah we know.” Angelina rolled her eyes. “Just keep it. No harm being careful.”
“Angie-”
“Are you actually going to upset the pregnant woman and get me murdered in my sleep?” George scolded, shutting him up for good.
#fred weasley#fred weasley x reader#fred weasley smut#fred weasley fic#weasley twins#fred weasley imagine#fred weasley x you#harry potter#fred weasley fanfics#fred and george#fred weasley fanfiction#fred weasley fluff#harry potter fanfiction#fred weasley one shot#fred weasley x fem!reader#fred weasley x y/n#fred+weasley+fanfiction#fredweasley#fredweasleyfluff#fredweasleyoneshots#fred weasly x reader#fred wealsey fic#fred weasley x oc#fred weasley x gryffindor!reader
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Love Lost (D.M. x Reader)
Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Reader
Universe: No Voldy but still pain in this story.
Genre: Angst! And more Angst!
Word Count: 1.3k
Summary: The reader feels like she’s losing Draco to Astoria. Does he still love her? Will he fix it?
Warning: Some bad words? Not too many.
{Draco Masterlist} { Main Masterlist }
(Credit to the gif owner)
I was in a mood for angst today lol. After having writers block for so long I finally came up with this. Hopefully I can finish my wips, ships and requests soon! Let me know if you want a part 2
You usually didn’t have a problem with any of Draco’s friends. Sure, some of them could be real idiots but for the most part they were nice to you. But you had recently ran into a problem, and her name was Astoria Greengrass. She was Daphne’s little sister who painfully obviously had a crush on your boyfriend. You hated seeming like an over jealous girlfriend, so you didn’t know how to truly react to this.
He had begun to spend more time with her after she had practically begged him for help in potions. She had come up to him in the common room when you were studying and pleaded with him for help. Her eyes seemed to sparkle when he finally agreed.
He seemed reluctant at first but ultimately agreed. He had said to you, “I’m only helping her so that she doesn’t tell her parents I refused. Last thing I need is my parents' comments.”
It had started innocent, he would help her twice a week in the library. As the weeks progressed, they were hanging out more and more often. He would finish quidditch practice and then meet her in the common room. Telling you that he would see you later but later never came.
He had even forgotten one of your dates. He apologized profusely and promised to make it up to you. He didn’t, he forgot too.
One date became two and then you lost count. You were tired of being disappointed.
You had walked into the common room after spending the evening studying with Pansy. All your friends had gotten together to study for an upcoming potions exam. All except Draco who didn’t show up. After walking in, that’s when you saw the two of them sitting in a corner table of the common room. You felt your stomach drop. Your mouth began to dry up and it felt sticky. You didn’t know how to react.
“What an arse”, Pansy mumbled to you. She reached for your hand to give it as squeeze. Letting you know she’s there for you. She had heard you complain all the time, she knew the pain you felt. And she was over seeing you getting walked over.
“Oh looks who’s here (y/n)! We finally found him!” Pansy exclaimed dramatically. This caused the two of them to break from their world and turn to the two of you.
“What do you mean Parkinson?” Draco asked, breaking the silence in the room. The air felt stifling. Astoria only looked up at you and Pansy, not making a comment.
“We were all meant to study together.” Pansy answered bluntly. “Did you forget that too Malfoy?”
“What the bloody hell do you mean?”
“You seem to forget everything as of late” You got the courage to speak up suddenly, beating Pansy. You glanced over at her as she gave you an encouraging look.“ I mean you always seem to forget our dates.”
The lump in your throat grew more and more by the second.
“Babe I-”
“I’m getting quite tired. It’s been a long steady session. I’ll see you all tomorrow.” You interrupted him, stopping him before he spoke. You had enough of this and the last thing you needed was for them to see you cry.
You let go of Pansy's hand and adjusted the strap of your bag. You made your way towards your dorm, trying to get out of there as fast as possible.
You walked into your dorm, slamming it shut. You threw your book bag across the room. Letting out some of the anger you felt. You grabbed a pillow from your bed and threw it at the door. You threw yourself onto your bed, frustrated beyond belief. The door opened and revealed the last person you wanted to see.
“What are we exactly”, you asked bluntly as he walked into your dorm. Draco looked at you confused as he looked towards you.
“What do you even mean?”
“I mean I don’t feel like your girlfriend anymore.” You rolled your eyes at his lack of comprehension. “You barely want to be around me it seems. I haven’t seen you in days Draco but you know who has? Astoria.”
“Don’t be bloody ridiculous (y/n). She’s my friend and nothing more. You’re overreacting.” It was his turn to roll his eyes at you.
You stood up suddenly and went to stand face to face with you. “Really? A friend is someone who’s super touchy with you? Someone who openly flirts with you?”
“She’s my friend! You’re just jealous!” His face was becoming redder with anger.
“You’re so draft Draco!” You threw your hands up in anger. Your voice rising slightly in pitch as you kept on getting angrier. “Everyone can see it! Hell, even Crabbe asked me if I was even still your girlfriend. You know how bloody obvious it has to be for that git to see it?”
“You know you wouldn’t like it if it was another guy treating me the way Astoria is with you.”
“She doesn’t like me!” He yelled, frustrated at the situation and at himself. Because it was finally dawning on him what a horrible boyfriend he had been these past few weeks. “And it doesn’t matter if she did because I don’t like her! Please understand that (y/n)!”
“Yes it does! Because you don’t set any boundaries and let her do whatever. You let her think you’re interested. And not one time do you stop & think about me.”
“You have forgotten our dates! You literally left me all alone waiting for you in the astronomy tower because you never showed.” You continued your rant and Draco stayed silent at your outburst. He stared at you with wide eyes and shock. He had never seen you like this.
“Did you know I’m not doing the best on potions anymore? I’m struggling and you don’t seem to care Draco. But sure, as long as Astoria is passing it’s okay I guess.” You were crying at this point as you continued you’re rant. Tears freely flowing from your cheeks. You hated crying, you hated seeming weak.
Draco attempted to wipe the tears from your cheeks but you moved away. Not wanting him to touch you right now. You let out a deep breath, voice quivering. “I don’t know how much more I can handle. My heart can’t take much more.”
“What do you mean darling? I love you. Please (y/n), I love you so much. I never wanted to hurt you.”
“I think you’re a little too late for that.”
“Please. Please think about this. I’m so sorry.” He was now starting to cry himself, something that was rare for him. He didn’t just cry for anyone. But his tears didn’t take away the hurt he had caused.
“You’ve broken my trust. You’ve hurt me. It’s going to take more than saying I’m sorry to let this all go.”
“I’ll do anything love.”
“You have to see where your heart lies. If you do actually love me, you’ll have to gain my trust back Draco.”
“Babe…” he grabbed your cheeks titling your head to look at him in the eyes. Both your eyes shining from the tears. “I’ll do that and so much more.”
“For the sake of our relationship, I hope you mean it. But I think I need some time to myself tonight and maybe tomorrow too.” You grabbed his hands, taking them away from your face. You gave them a slight squeeze before letting them go. Hoping that this wouldn’t be the last time you held them.
He left without saying another word. As you watched him walk out of your dorm, you dropped to the floor. Letting all the emotions of the past weeks flowing out. All the hurt, all the sadness and all the angry flowing down your cheeks.
Thoughts? Part 2??
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The Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing
Word Count: 4,438
Status: Not Requested
Fandom: Back To The Future 1985
Relationship: Biff Tannen x Female Reader
Summary: As time is altered for a total of 2 weeks (I extended it slightly), you and Marty struggle to get his parents under control, having problem after the next. But, when an unexpected solution occurs, you find yourself willingly okay with it, soon finding the exact reason as to why.
Warnings: language, fluff, Biff being a dick, slight angst, cute Biff
Masterlist Back To The Future Masterlist
Prompts: (from this list @youneedsomeprompts)
Y/C/S= Your Choice of Sport/ Your Chosen Sport (you don’t have to honestly play one, just choose one you like or one that comes to mind)
{gif and prompts are not mine, gif credits go to @backtothefuturemovies and credits were given above for prompts!}
No one ever said time travel was fun. No one ever said the job was easy. And no one sure as hell told you the consequences that come with it. Well, at least not before you, and your best friend, Marty McFly, had gone dead-on through a barn, sacred a neighboring family of ‘alien invasion,’ run into younger McFly parents, and altered time just enough to fuck you over for a few days.
I mean, who would’ve guessed right? Your mom just so happens to be romantically interested in you, their child. Well, that was at least in Marty’s case. For you, you had just managed to run into the biggest dickhead of the century, Biff Tannen. Or so you thought?
Making your way out of bed, you automatically go to where Marty was sleeping in the garage, waking him along with Doc up. The go-to plan for the day was to go undercover as usual students in the 50′s, secretly following Marty’s parents around, finding out where they lie in this part of time, and try to find ways into manipulating them together once more in time for Marty and you to get back home. Easy enough, right?
Groaning, Marty goes to slap your hands away weakly, mumbling something along the lines of ‘Just a few more minutes.’ You giggle slapping his hands back in an attempt to wake him up cheerily. Mornings weren’t really your forte either, so any upbeat wake-up is better than a pissy, tired, horrible morning.
Doc, on the other hand, was happy to return the affection, getting out of bed to give a quick hug and kiss to the forehead. Then he makes his way over to the bed, going to tickle Marty’s feet as you go to tickle his sides. Finally, in a fit of laughter, Marty gets up and goes straight for the bathroom. You were going to argue him, having to use the bathroom first, but decide to just leave it be, heading for the makeshift kitchen instead.
You smile fondly as Doc and Marty play around a while later, wrestling about, cracking jokes. It was only just a few hours ago that you and Marty had witnessed the untimely death of the currently very lively man in the house. Witnessing the blood loss, the machine gun in action, and the bullets that whizzed pass with only one malicious intent: to kill. But he’s here now; he’s safe and sound, having many years until that date will arrive.
With the freshly cooked smell of eggs, toast, and pancakes, the boys straighten up, Doc clearing his throat in an attempt to organize himself, and Marty leaving his shirt ruffled as he follows the smell of deliciousness. You giggle as both men of different ages act exactly the same, piling their plates high and digging in, giving thanks through mouthfuls.
///LATER///
After breakfast had finished, you and Marty made your way to the school, not wanting to be late, and, quite frankly, not wanting to miss a second in the disaster we’re in, wanting to fix it as soon as possible. Upon entering, the building erupts in laughter, tears, screaming, perfume, cologne, aftershave, and lots and lots of both testosterone and estrogen. Fucking high school, you smile.
Going to “your locker” right besides “Marty’s,” you both place the books and supplies that are unneeded inside it and take only the things you need for the first two classes, somehow having those together. As Marty catches glimpse of his father, George McFly, he winks at you, moving to catch up to him. Rolling your eyes playfully, you turn back towards your locker, just barely missing a group of young men some ways down the hallway, locking eyes with a particularly taller man, towering almost everyone in the halls.
You pay no mind, however, being blindsided by three girls your age. Instantly, you recognize the one right in front as Lorraine, Marty’s mother. Smiling nervously, your cheeks tint only a little, being unprepared to see her so quickly, not yet having a plan made up on how you could help tackle the situation with Marty.
“Hiya! I’ve never seen you before, are you new here? I’m Lorraine Baines, and you are?” she asks cheerfully, her books clasped tightly to her chest.
Taking an obnoxiously long time staring dumbfounded, you finally realize you haven’t spoken, quickly recovering with newfound purpose and confidence, “Ah, yes! I am new here! Sorry, I’m just trying to get used to this place a tiny bit. I’m Y/N Y/L/N.”
“Well that’s quite alright, you can come with us!” she says once more in a cheery tone, taking you by the arm and lacing her arm around yours, locked elbows. You smiled, knowing exactly where Marty’s cheerful and people-person nature had come from. Walking down the halls, she had asked for my schedule, checking classes to see what we had together, “English, History, and Agriculture- Hey! You should try out for cheer leading!”
Shaking your head lightly, “Nah, I’m more of a Y/C/S myself to be frank.”
“But...We don’t have that sport here? There are no girls sports at all actually...” Lorraine says confused. You go to cover it up, choosing to say it was a sport you play for fun at home, in the backyard. However, a beefy arm separates you momentarily from her, as the owner of the harm moves to pin her to the lockers.
You were going to walk away, figuring it was some sort of make-out session in the works, but upon looking at her before going, you notice that the man was absurdly unwanted.
“Get your meathooks off me Biff!” she screams at the man, his huge form towering her much smaller one. Not taking the message, the pair continue to squabble, neither of them being successful in winning. The warning bell sounds over the halls and classrooms, alarming kids to get their asses moving, but it seems whoever this dick is, he feels he is greater than the school, and god forbid, knowledge.
“Hey, you do realize your not making a damn bit a difference, right? She’s not interested! And, quite frankly, it seems as if no one does! Now, if you don’t mind, could you please be kind enough to unhand her as some of us treasure a piece of mind and how to take a hint?” you finish, quite ticked off as the last bell warns, cursing under your breath as you already know your in for detention on the first day.
It finally seems that he’d caught a grip, thankfully, letting go of Lorraine’s arm and she quickly scurries out of his proximity, taking your hand to lead you to the class you both needed to be in. As you go to walk in, you are stopped by the teacher, scolding both you and Lorraine. Looking at her regrettably, she smiles defeated. So you decide to do what’s right, take the fall.
“I’m sorry sir, I didn’t know where to go as I was trying to find where all of my classes were before I ended up lost every time classes switch. I caught up to Lorraine here at some point, and as she was hurrying to this class, she was kind enough to show me where I needed to be,” you finish, sighing guiltily.
“Well, as you’ve taken acknowledgment to your mistake, then you’d be just as happy with detention. After school, on Friday, as the first week is extremely busy. As for you, Miss Baines, thank you for your help. You are off the hook for now,” the older gentleman finishes, nodding to each of you personally before turning around and beginning just one of the classes you’d have today. This is going to be fun!
///LATER///
Finally, after grueling hours of just a few of your classes, lunchtime had came round, giving you a slight break. Catching sight of Lorraine, you smile and wave, going in the direction of Marty, or Calvin Klein, as you’d heard Lorraine go on and on about. You’d known it was him the second she’d said it, the brand not yet known to man yet; or at least in this timeline, it wasn’t.
As time had went on, it was only natural for the peace to be broken, as a newly familiar face was starting to appear more and more, Biff Tannen, as you’d known his name by now. But, instead of heading towards Lorraine, he makes his way over to the table you were residing with George and Marty, sitting himself right beside you.
At first, you were trying to ignore him, knowing his presence was there, but keeping your eyes trained on either Marty or George, eyes dancing between the two. Biff, being the everlasting child he was, tried to catch you attention, trying stupid ass things after the other: kicking your shins, pulling your ears of hair, flicking your head, and even trying to tug on the 50′s style dress you’d been forced to wear to play your part.
Only when he goes to tug your hair once more is when you finally snap, turning a furious glare to the hulking figure beside you, shoving his shoulder in a feeble attempt to create distance. He giggles at this, his body not moving an inch at all. “You can’t be serious right now! You don’t know when to quit it, do you?!” you scream, fed up with his shit.
“Well, if you’d give me the human decency of turning your head when I’m trying to talk to you, then I wouldn’t have to pester you, now would I?” he asks in a teasing tone, no doubt taunting you, but all you do is stare him down, getting lost in a staring contest, daring him to say something again. “Alls I wanted to say was that we have detention together. Just thought I’d let you know since you got me in all that trouble this morning.”
“Why you-!” And with that, he gets up with a shit-eating grin plastered to his face, prancing out of view and back to the table he and his gang usually sit. Watching the whole interaction, George smirks at Marty, the pair giving an unspoken mutual agreement to whatever they had both caught on to, bursting into fits of laughter moments later.
“You have a longer tolerance than I do, I-I-I’ll tell you that much,” George says, his usual slight stutter back in place, Marty laughing once more. As George joins in again, you couldn’t fight it either, giving into the childish antics.
///LATER///
To say your week had gotten any better than the first day was a lie. It hadn’t gotten any better, and your meetings with Biff at lunch had only gotten all the more common and all the more infuriating. He’d made it his duty to agitate you in any ways possible, even resulting in whispering something nagging in your ear when you weren’t paying attention, usually doing something in your locker.
Either way, he was on the countdown to Friday, it being constantly on his mind, mentally counting down the days, hours, minutes, and even seconds until the two of you were locked in a room alone.
Unfortunately, that day had seemed to come way faster than you’d like, Friday rolling around quite quickly. School had finished, and you were making your way to the front office, awaiting a tiring 2 hours with only yourself and Biff as company for the time being. You hadn’t known where the room was, and instead of spending time looking for it, you gave up and looked for the office instead, the nice front desk lady leading you where you needed to go.
Upon entering the room, there was Biff in his prime, casually spread across his chair, legs crossed atop his desk nearest the windows. Sighing, you ignore him, deciding to sit on the opposite side of him, the front desk lady giving you a sympathetic smile before she closes the door behind her. You look at the wall, head turned away from him like the plague.
You knew it’d only last so long until he’d speak, the time coming way faster than you pleased. Given it was Friday, you couldn’t even do homework or even study in order to block him out as he started to blabber, running his mouth over stupid shit once more. Inhaling through your nose, and exhaling through your mouth slowly, you straighten in your seat, hands clutching the desk so tight, your fists turned white.
“Biff, Sweetheart, Baby, Doll Face, Hun. Please. PLEASE. Shut up for five god damn seconds. I know you truly have nothing to say, so why do you insist on speaking so much?” you finally say, hands prying off the desk to turn in his direction exasperated.
“Well, if you’d just talk to me, Shortcake, I wouldn’t have much to say at random,” he answers, copying your actions and posture. With this change in childish demeanor, you give in, laughing at him in an unexpected rush, running your hands through your hair tiredly.
Although you hadn’t seen it, he’d smiled in satisfaction upon seeing you laugh, the glitter in your eyes much more captivating than it ever was when he looked at Lorraine. He hadn’t barely pestered her since you’d barreled into his life. It was weird, but he welcomed it with open arms. And for the first time, he learned what it was like to have an actual, clammy-handed, closed throat, warm, cheek-tinted, teenage crush. A crush that left his heartbeat loud and fast, breathing ragged and uneven, and his behavior out of character and out of his control. Lorraine was way under whatever level he’d placed you on, holding you up on a pedestal like you were the sun or sky.
Of course, you hadn’t taken notice to his antics, just thinking he was annoying. Just Biff being his notorious self. But, as you finally calm your breathing down, the giggles fading, you decide to give him a chance, knowing that sitting in silence is just going bore you. Smiling warmly, you say, “So what do you want to talk about then?”
///LATER///
Grabbing your bag, you get out of your seat, giggling at a story Biff had told you. He follows your lead as well, getting his own as he lets out a bark of laughter at a certain part. You guys looked like idiots as you shoved each other down the halls, making your way out of the school as your detention had came to a close. Sighing as the warm sun radiated on your skin with the light, spring breeze, you stretch out any kinks the classroom chairs and desks had left. Biff watched you intently, your small body easily swallowed by his shadow beside you.
The sun was setting and it was getting late, although you weren’t concerned. The boys knew you wouldn’t be home ‘til late due to the detention you had initially despised. Now, you and Biff were side by side, walking peacefully to his car in the school’s parking lot. For once, he was quiet, great company to have. It was something else for sure, but you enjoyed it. As you came up towards Doc’s place, you’d realized that Biff had drove you home like a gentleman, too lost in the conversation to notice earlier on.
Sheepishly, you itch the back of your neck, realizing your mistake and feeling guilty for making him walk all this way to now have to walk all the way home. “Ah- Sorry...I didn’t realize I’d dragged you all the way out here. Now you have to drive all the way back.”
“It’s no problem, really. I liked it. It’s nice to talk to someone other than the guys every now and then. And to have A female speak to me instead of screaming,” he answers, now being the one who is a bit shy.
“You do know that you bring that on yourself right?” you say teasingly, now leaning your head on your hands, propped up on the passenger side door. “Not every girl would want to kick you in the groin if you showed a little more respect, “ you finish off with a smile.
“Yeah...Yeah I know. I’ll try harder, I swear.”
“That’s all I ask,” you say with a wink, drumming your hands on the door as you take a step back, waving as you start walking down Doc’s driveway.
“Hey!” Biff calls from the car, stopping you in your tracks to turn around, facing him with a smile. “Uhm- Well- The Enchantment Under the Sea Dance is coming up next week...Would you mind being my date?” he asks, stuttering as he feels his cheeks heat up, nervous as hell.
“I’d love to!” you answer, turning back around to walk into the house. Biff does a little fist bump as he puts the car back in gear, excited for what is to come.
///
Marty was a little less than amused with this newfound knowledge once entering the door and going over the events of the day. It was only when Doc had suggested that the date with Biff would keep him away from Lorraine, giving George the freeway to attract her long enough for their True Love’s Kiss. Then, and only then, did Marty give the okay, shaking his head, but liking the fact that it’ll give George some time, being the nerd that you know and love.
///Enchantment Under the Sea Dance///
Checking yourself over in the mirror for the final time, you let out a nervous yet satisfied sigh, feeling like an absolute princess. You never minded dresses too much, although you couldn’t deny the fact that normal pair of shorts, jeans, or even leggings were your first choice. All that mattered was that you liked the dress you were wearing, it fit you; it was your favorite color, length, and strap(less) type to hold everything in.
Walking out, you grab the pair of heels to match, knowing that you couldn’t get away with sneakers in this generation, painfully grimacing at the reminder. Finally standing, you recount when you had gotten the dress just a few days ago, having gone with Lorraine and the her two friends, Babs and Betty. They were very endearing and supportive the whole time, you not having to worry about being “to picky” as they were just the same. You ended up loving the dress given that you’d taken the time without pressure.
As you walked into the main room of the garage, you heard a low whistle of Marty, Doc slapping him on the back of the head for it. Giggling, you curtsy and spin in the dress. Doc, the gentleman he always was, compliments you, “You look amazing, my dear. Let’s hope this boy deserves it, hmm?”
As an answer, you hug him tightly, knowing that, by the end of the night, he will be nothing but a dead man at home, in a lonely, dark parking lot. Your eyes tear up just at the mere thought of it, clutching him tighter. Marty seems to be on the same wavelength, going to interrupt the moment with great urgency, trying to pass him a piece of paper.
“Marty, if this has anything that involves my future, do not. And I repeat, DO NOT try to hand it to me. Whatever happens, happens young man. That’s how the world works,” he says in a warning tone. You wanted to disagree, but you knew the truth that was laced beneath it, as if it was a punishment. You whimper instead, pulling him in tighter; Marty looking down in defeat, soon switching to anger. In the midst of it, he storms out of the garage, getting in the car to go pick up who you’d hope was Lorraine for the dance.
“Just let him go...” you start, sadness evident, “He’s just not very happy with the outcome of what the future has in store for you. Quite frankly, neither am I.”
“I’m sure whatever the outcome is, that I wanted to go with it, dear. I assure you, I’m fine,” Doc answers in a consoling tone, wiping the tears that had slipped from your eyes. You knew it was just a mask, no one wants death, but you knew he needed to go no matter how much you hated it. So you nod, not having to say much more as a honk sounds from outside.
“That’s Biff...”
“Have a great time! Make sure the McFlys kiss!” Doc screams, following out of the garage, scolding Biff from behind you.
“Yes sir!” you scream back, saluting him as you take a seat in the passenger.
///
“You look beautiful Y/N,” Biff says after a while, finally working up the courage to speak.
“Thank you Biff. And you look handsome yourself,” you giggle, the car pulling into the lot.
He shuts the engine, grabbing his keys from the ignition and closing the door, making his way around to you as you let yourself out to straighten yourself out. He takes your hand as he leads you to the entrance of the dance, you sighing in relief as you catch a glimpse of Marty pulling up in a car with Lorraine. Finally, you relax, grasping on Biff a little lighter and with more meaning now as you have the night to yourselves. He smiles down at you as you wrap your arm within his, something Lorraine does with you quite often.
With the party in full blast, you let loose with the music, dancing and joking around with Biff. At some point, however, he says he needs a drink and will be right back. Although, he doesn’t seem to actually come back. You’d thought you’d seen him spiking the punch just as few moments ago.
Just as you were going to in the direction of the hallways to the rest of the school, you notice Match, one of Biff’s friends, storming out of the gym through an exit. Taking your bets, you follow behind him, soon being greeted by a huge commotion of screams, all of them from familiar people. Biff was in a car with Lorraine, her dress pulled and taken off in parts. He was no doubt about to do something stupid, the fact pissing you off, saddening you in some ways as well.
The others that were screaming were also George and Marty, the pair trying to get Biff to stop before he regrets it. He doesn’t listen, unfortunately, until your voice booms over the rest, “Biff!”
His head snaps instantly in your direction, the situation dawning on him the instant he looks at your face. You hadn’t meant to portray your emotions so clearly, but your face had shown such distraught and hurt. He lied. He had gotten over Lorraine, yet the moment she was alone, he runs right back to her.
With his momentary change of focus, George finally steps in, “You get your filthy hands off of her!” finishing with a blow to the jaw that knocks Biff off balance.
Marty looks to you sadly, but tries to smile in cheers as George and Lorraine leave together, motioning that he was going to follow them just in case. You nod, looking down now as your play with your fingers. You didn’t know what to do now as the only reason you were really here was for Biff. You weren’t needed for Lorraine and George, you knew Marty had it.
You decide to make your way home then, as there was nothing else you could do. Dances were just drags anyway, nothing worth while. “Your just going to leave? Just like that?” asks a deep voice, his body having gotten back off the pavement and stood by the car he was pinned against.
Without turning, you answer his question with another, “Why not? There’s nothing left here for me is there?”
“And why wouldn’t there be?” Biff asks once more, no doubt ticking you off at his usual teasing tone.
“Well, let’s see. You. You asked me to the dance as your plus one. I came here as your date. We have a good time, we dance, we talk, and then you come up with an ‘Oh I need a drink’ charade, not returning. Then, I come to find my date in the parking lot, about to get his licks in on a woman he was apparently over with! So tell me, what is left here for men here, Biff?” you finish, tears pooling your eyes over the time, although you don’t let the fall, keeping them there.
He looks guilty, you can see it, but you don’t care. Your not in the wrong this time. But, as your blood starts to cool down, you do notice the look in his eyes, the change in his demeanor, and the utter remorse that has overcome him. He has his head down, fists clenched at his sides, body stock still. He doesn’t know what to do, all he knows is that he’d fucked up.
“Or was this your fabulous way of telling me that you love me?” you finally ask, eyes moving to look up at him in a teasing manner.
He hadn’t expected you to speak, head snapping up to meet your gaze in confusion. Being as you’d looked at him with a glint in your eyes, he finally lets everything click together; you’d forgiven him. His face heats up in bashfulness however, as your words resonated within him as well, hand going to itch the back of his neck again.
You giggle, walking up to him now, hands going to his collar. Pulling him down, he gazes at you in amazement, his own hands falling to rest on your waist. Then, you crash your lips to his, pulling him ever closer. It takes him a moment to get the hang of it, soon pulling you closer to himself as well. Lifting you slightly, he sets you on the hood of his car, the height difference a definite stretch for him. But he wouldn’t have it any other way, you were perfect. Just the same as he was perfect for you.
#biff tannen x reader#bttf#back to the future#biff tannen imagine#bttf imagine#back to the future imagine#thomas f. wilson#crispin glover#george mcfly#christopher lloyd#dr. emmett brown#doc brown#doc#michael j. fox#marty mcfly#lea thompson#lorraine baines
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Left Behind.
Parings; c!Wilbur Soot x Reader Pronouns; she/her Desc; Wilbur Soot left too soon, way too soon. TW: DEATH, MENTIONS OF DEATH, MOURNING, VANISHING TWIN SYNDROME, PREGNANCY.
Requests are open, feeling angsty today -
The ear-piercing scream that was heard throughout L’manberg was evident. If it wasn't for [YourName]’s brother-in-law, she probably would have hit her head and injured herself. Tommy gently set [YourName] down, in the same amount of shock as her, he watched [YourName] slam the ground and beg for Wilbur to be alive.
“PLEASE! PLEASE OH MY GOD,” [YourName] sobbed, holding the ground. Her fingers dug into the ruined dirt, her nails getting covered in dirt and soot from the TNT. Philza’s face softened, he had murdered his son for a good cause, but to watch his daughter-in-law break down was just as horrible. He watched [YourName] push herself up and make her way over to the cave Wilbur had dug out for this operation, helping her up, and stood there watching [YourName] cradle Wilbur’s face.
There, Wilbur laid in the lap of his wife with a smile on his face. The sword that was used to murder him remained in his body as it was hard for Philza to even think about yanking it out, that was his boy, his son, his pride and joy, and he just murdered him. Wilbur’s eyes remained closed no matter how much [YourName] whispered out begging for him to open them up.
Philza placed a hand on her shoulder, gently forcing her up from her spot. She was too tired to fight back, she just laid limp reaching out for her husband despite the reassurance that he won’t come back- [YourName] believed he would. She just knew Wilbur would awaken and come join her in bed and hold her close just as he did twice before.
But he never did.
Wilbur never came, and Tubbo was assigned president while [YourName] mourned the death of her husband. Fundy couldn’t understand why [YourName] was so attached to such a person, but then he remembered she loved him and had a connection with Wilbur that he didn't have. As jealous as he was, Fundy remained around and built a home for himself and his step-mother.
When everything was finalized, finished, and moved into, it scared everyone when [YourName] fainted in the middle of New L’manberg. Fundy was a moment too late and poor [YourName] had to get stitched for the cut on her forehead. She and Fundy had assumed it was just because she was mourning, but when Philza sat down in front of them after doing more research, they both knew it was way more.
Fundy placed a hand on his mother’s shoulder and prepped for the news. “[YourName], you’re six weeks pregnant. Twins. I assume you didn’t know this?” Philza spoke, “S-Six weeks?! TWINS?!” [YourName] repeated frantically making Philza nod. Fundy blinked a few times before letting out a soft scream of a fox, “I’M A BROTHER?!” he asked repeatedly pacing back and forth. “Six weeks, Wilbur died four weeks ago- oh my god, I haven’t been with anyone else, oh my god, Philza-“ [YourName] spoke sending herself into a panic, “That's great, you have a piece of his legacy no one else has..” Phil said gently holding her hands.
[YourName] began to cry, glad to have such a thing with her but mourned her husband. She looked up and realized the excitement had worn off and Fundy and now he was panic pacing. His ears were down and his tail was no longer wagging, he anxiously played with his jacket, so [YourName] dropped Philza and made his way over to Fundy to calm him down. She played with his hair, held his face, and hugged him gently, everything she could to ground and remind Fundy that it’s all okay. It just gave more proof how despite everything happening to her right now, she was ready to parent. And that’s what makes a good parent, a good parent.
Philza softly smiled and sighed out, “Despite everything you’ve gone through, you’re still there for Fundy. You’re a good mother, [YourName].” he explained with a smile. [YourName] glanced away from Fundy for a moment and gently smiled, “Oh, Uhm, thank you?” she said dropping her hands to her step-son’s elbows. Fundy hugged [YourName] while she was still distracted, just sucking in as much [YourName] time he could get before leaving and returning home. Fundy would admit, he’s worried about being left behind, but wouldn’t voice them until dinner. [YourName] thanked Fundy for the food and ate quietly until he spoke up, “You won’t leave me right?” he asked randomly. [YourName] was confused at first, but then it clicked, “Your father wasn’t the best at expressing love once he had a focus. I can do that, even with a new baby coming around- I’ll always have time for you, Fundy. You’re my son, doesn’t matter if I didn’t give birth to you or not.” [YourName] explained with a smile. That smile brought comfort to Fundy, instead of talking he returned focus to his food. For the next few weeks, no updates were given about [YourName]. After her stitches were taken out and things returned normal, she would begin showing- that’s how everyone found out Wilbur was going to have a second kid. Because of this, Tubbo made sure Ghostbur had zero access to [YourName], not wanting to trigger anything inside of him that would result in a negative reaction. Ghostbur wasn’t Wilbur and who knows the powers that ghost has hiding behind him. “I just want to see my wife! How’s [YourName]?” Ghostbur huffed, crossing his arms but quickly recovered floating around Tubbo who was working hard on some paperwork. Tubbo frowned for a moment, he was struggling harder and harder every day to hide [YourName] from Ghostbur. “She’s fine, she misses you too. Now, Ghostbur, go bother Philza, I need to make a few choices.” Tubbo mumbled watching Ghostbur rush through a few walls to return outside and find his father. Ghostbur floated through the top of Philza’s house where he had expected Phil to be, but instead, he was nowhere to be found. He gently floated downstairs, having yet to reveal himself, where he heard his wife’s voice and Philza talk. Joy rushed through his spirited body but halted when he processed that [YourName] was crying.
“It happens, and luckily one of the twins remained. You didn’t cause this, it’s natural.” Philza comforted, [YourName] nodded “I just- I feel horrible, I didn’t even know that was possible! Wilbur would be so upset” she explained. “Wilbur wouldn’t be upset at you though, some pregnancies result in one twin absorbing the other- and this was one of the cases,” Phil explained letting [YourName] lean against him. She took the water in front of her and drank some of it, not even noticing Ghostbur watching from the steps.
[YourName] stayed for a few more minutes, but left soon after. “[YourName] is Pregnant?” Ghostbur asked Philza, making him jump and nearly drop the glass he had in his hand. “GHOSTBUR!” Philza yelped, “Oh, hehe sorry, but my dear [YourName]. I-Is Wilbur the father?” Ghostbur asked softly. Phil debated on his next move and softly sighed “You’re the father, you were Wilbur before you were Ghostbur'' he explained gently, he didn’t want to make the ghost worry. “I should go talk to her-“ Ghostbur said, turning around and going to dash off, “NO-“ Philza yelled.
Ghostbur stopped in his tracks, “Why not?! First Tubbo, now you, I just want to see my wife!” he pouted before pulling some blue out and calming down. Philza sighed, “She’s not ready, she's fragile.” he whispered toward his dead son “She probably will react negatively and confusingly, and we don’t want that or her to get hurt.” he added trying to dumb down their reasoning. Ghostbur just sighed, accepting it as it is.
It didn’t stop Ghostbur from watching her though, he would go invisible and follow Fundy around the house and watched as his son helped out [YourName] around. “You’re coming up seven months, you need to be careful, I can hear dad screaming at us.” Fundy explained easing his mother into a chair and picking up what she was trying to get, “He’d have to suck it up, I can't be held down.” [YourName] jokingly pouted. Fundy just smiled and patted his mother’s hair, “I’m making lunch, I’ll be back.” he said leaving for the kitchen.
Ghostbur sat there and watched [YourName] shift in her spot but gently place a hand over top of her enlarged stomach. The womb that housed his and [YourName]’s baby. He wanted to reach out and touch her, but from the observations he’s made, Philza was right. Every night she’d wake up and reach over, what he remembered, to be his side of the bed and proceed to cry on a bad day into his old L’manberg coat. He obviously left his mark on his wife and he didn’t mean the baby.
Around the time [YourName] was suppose to go into labor, her emotions did a one-eighty and she no longer searched for Wilbur’s side of the bed for him or found herself begging for her husband to be alive. She didn’t know why, but it began feeling as if Wilbur was there and holding her hand through every step of the way, and that's why when she gave birth she was more than ready. While Ghostbur took this as she no longer missed him, the reality was [YourName] was just trying to be mentally there for her child. She couldn’t be the one waking up in the middle of the night crying, she had to be stronger. Ghostbur was in distress but didn’t want to tell anyone he’s been stalking his wife and child. He would get scolded by Philza, he had told him to leave them alone. But he just couldn’t he gave into his curious nature and just ended up hurting himself more, he couldn’t speak to [YourName] or give her blue on the nights she needed it more and he sure as hell blamed himself for it. He blamed himself, not Wilbur, and it hurt even worse than he thought it would.
The morning that [YourName] gave birth, it was hot and humid which added nothing good for the woman. Fundy was off the rails with stress, rushing around to get Philza. He didn’t know that Philza had taught Niki how to assist with labor, so now Fundy had to rush from Philza’s place to Niki’s place which meant an extra ten-twenty minutes of rushing around and leaving his mother in pain at the house. He didn’t want to leave [YourName] alone for more than he had to. By the time he returned to the house with Niki and Philza, [YourName] had managed to get into a spot and had everything right. Philza softly chuckled, “Might as well have the child on your own!” he said jokingly as he double-checked everything was there. Fundy hissed in surprise while [YourName] groaned, not really here for jokes just wanted this to get over with already! Niki shook her head, “It’s okay, [YourName], we’re going to give birth to this baby and the world will have another Soot on their hands!” she comforted patting [YourName]’s leg. The birth lasted HOURS, never in [YourName]’s life had she felt the pain she felt when giving birth to her child. As it was described by her mother, everything had been lifted off her shoulders and the pain was no longer there. The cries of her baby had rung throughout the home and outside she could hear the squeaks and excited yells from Techno and Tommy. They were just here for moral support- well WHEN did they get here? What the fuck? While [YourName] held her child, which turned out to be a girl, she thought back on the many conversations she and Wilbur ended up having before his death. Children were often a topic that was brought up when the future was mentioned, mostly after their marriage when Fundy was still younger. They had agreed on the name Fern, for ferns were pretty and it would- “Fit my perfect Princess,” Wilbur said placing a kiss upon his wife’s head. [YourName] giggled and grabbed Wilbur’s dirty L’manberg coat and dropped it in the water for washing. “You’re crazy, we’re not having a child while we’re at war, Darling.” [YourName] said looking up at him, “I know, but I think Fern would be the perfect name for our daughter, Rowan for a boy! Don’t they sound lovely?” Wilbur asked squatting across from his wife. Fundy had fallen asleep under the tree close by, this moment was perfect. “Absolutely” [YourName] replied leaning over the bucket and kissing her husband’s lips. “Fern.” [YourName] whispered gently rubbing a finger across her daughter’s cheek, Niki looked up from washing her hands and hummed “What?” Niki asked confused. “Fern. I think Fern would be perfect for her. Wilbur often mentioned that name.” [YourName] reiterated, “Oh! That is a cute name, shall I let the boys know they’re able to come in now?” she asked making the new mother nod. Niki left and entered all the boys under the roof, they entered quietly as possible, Tommy nervously fiddling with his shirt sleeve. [YourName] smiled softly looking up, “Hello boys, meet your niece, sister, and granddaughter; Fern.” she said revealing the sleeping newborn in her arms. Philza smiled, had stepped out of the room, and let [YourName] have more privacy as the birth went on. Fundy gasped at the smallness while Techno did his best not to melt on stop. Tommy was the first to speak, “It looks like him.” he whispered in awe, Techno nudged his brother harshly making [YourName] giggle. “It’s fine, Wilbur is her father.” she hummed. Finally, her family was mostly complete. A few months would pass, Fern would hit important milestones like eating, teething, crawling, all of those- but it didn’t feel the same without Wilbur. Wilbur must’ve had fox in him because after Fern’s first week, [YourName] and Fundy both noticed itty bitty fox ears and tail on the child. Fundy was beyond excited to show his sister how hunting works as a fox hybrid and how to pick the right berries, it was just a lovely sight to see. For each step, Fundy was there for his sister and his step-mother. For once, Fundy wanted to make Wilbur proud but in his own way. By taking care of his family, something his father couldn’t do. One day, [YourName] got away from Fern and Fundy. Today would be brother and sister bonding while [YourName] had a mother’s day off. She didn’t know what to do, but she finally sucked it up and got dressed. Today would be the first time [YourName] doing what she’s doing. It had been a year since Wilbur’s death and she had yet to visit his grave, and with no one home, she left to visit. To finally be His Visitor.
#dream smp x reader#wilbur soot x reader#c!wilbur soot x reader#wilbur soot x you#Wilbur soot x y/n#c!wilbur soot x you#c!Wilbur Soot x y/n#mcyt x reader#x reader
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the poets go to ikea for the first time !!!
sooo this morning i made a list of things i have to take back to college with me and i always pack my stuff in these big, blue ikea bags which got me thinking about what the poets would be like in ikea bc i genuinely cannot do anything anymore without thinking about how the poets would do it HAHA. so here we are lol– i hope you guys like this !!(:
neil: something tells me that neil would really enjoy ikea. there are so many tiny little relics and fun decorations to browse as well as models/displays that are so nicely put together. just the right kinds of things to appease neil’s hidden juvenile wants (since he never got to experience a real childhood with his parents treating him like an adult since he was like 8). for example: all of the neat little stuffed animals and children’s bedroom sets that have all sorts of fun colors, etc. neil would appreciate the whole aesthetic of the store as well, liking how well-organized and modern it is inside. would definitely hide behind pieces of furniture in the displays to scare todd. also he is in charge of pushing the cart (that charlie is proudly sitting in bc he doesn’t want to “walk around everywhere”).
todd: like neil, todd appreciates the feel of the place bc he’s always had a bit of an interest in interior design, but is a little bit overwhelmed with just how big it is both outside and inside. desperately wants a djungelskog bear (which neil buys for him, bc of all the things neil struggles with, saying “no” to todd is certainly the biggest one). genuinely freaks out every single time neil scares him, even if he should see it coming after the second or third time. trails behind the group, (as he seemingly always does), taking special note of certain things he’d like to have in his own house one day (’:
knox: upon being invited, he seemed hesitant bc it’s just a furniture store, big whoop (”will there be girls there at least?”), but once they got there he was incredibly thrilled that there was a cafeteria and insisted that they go there both before shopping and after shopping (”look at how big the store is, don’t you think we’ll be hungry again by the time we’re done?”). definitely would rather be doing something else, but is just happy to be spending time around his pals (:
charlie: as previously stated, king of the cart. refuses to get out and walk because it’s “a big store and he’s tired.” neil doesn't mind pushing him, though. fully embraces the semi-chaotic feel of ikea during the weekend (so many people, which is not good for todd, but charlie full-on thrives). he would also insist on actually buying a few pieces of new furniture for his and cameron’s room (completely oblivious to the fact that he will actually need to assemble the pieces himself until they get down to the warehouse), even though it would most definitely be confiscated by mr. hager (”they’ll only confiscate it if they find it,” charlie says, to which cameron replies, “i’m pretty sure a full size vanity and bureau would be pretty easy to scope out, dumbass.” then they both flip each other off). he is definitely the reason knox decided to come after charlie begged him for at least ten minutes (”c’mon, knoxious, it’ll be fun! even if there aren’t girls there, you’ll still have me to look at (;”). offers to buy neil a couple of the stuffed animals he’s been eyeing bc he just wants to see his best friend happy. has to go back up and around the store to take note of numbers of the furniture he actually wants bc he didn’t understand how it worked (”all that time in the cart, wasted” and ”they should really have like an instruction manual before entering the store??”). and enlists meek’s help trying to find the right boxes of parts because “he’s smart like that”. still stays squished in the cart even when he puts all the boxes in it
meeks: just along for the ride, honestly. he just likes spending time with his buddies, but isn’t hesitant about going out and doing things like knox (“i’ll try anything once!”). gets into a pillow fight with pitts in one of the displays, garnering the attention of an ikea employee who sternly asks them to “act their age” and to “fix all the things they made fall on the ground”. the most adventurous eater at the cafeteria; tries the swedish meatballs and really likes them (”we have to come back here just to eat these again, guys”). rates each display on a scale of 1-10 and gives reasons for why he likes things and why he doesn’t (mostly in a joking way).
pitts: bumps his head on some of the hanging arrow signs that direct you into the next section of the store, sighs after every time. buys matching stuffed animals with meeks (’: is the designated driver, and never asks for gas money from his friends bc like knox and meeks, he just likes hanging out (but they give him gas money anyway !!). asks neil for a turn pushing the cart, which neil agrees to. when in control of the cart, bumps it into things, much to charlie’s displeasure (”wouldn’t peg you as a horrible cart driver since you’re the only one with your license, but alas, i was wrong”). feels v bad for getting in trouble w meeks about the pillow fighting and makes sure to fix any messed up things in any of the displays following the incident. also unsure of how much space is in the car for charlie’s boxes, leading him to argue against the purchase of any items.
cameron: also didn’t get the allure of a furniture store, but tagged along because he wanted to get off campus (and really does care about making time and hanging out with his friends, though he’d never admit that). pickiest when it came to the food court/cafeteria (”i just don’t want to try it, why do i need a reason ??”). actually considered buying a new desk organizer, but refused when charlie said it would look great on their new vanity (”charlie, they’ll confiscate that, too. how many times do i have to explain it ??”). unlike meeks, seriously rates each display on a scale of 1-10 talking about how some of the colors just don’t go, and it hurts his eyes to look at it. lowkey got lost for a bit and freaked out bc he couldn’t find anyone, but caught up with todd finally when they were exiting the kitchenette section. this caused him to ask what todd was doing all the way back behind the group, leading to a small, but nice conversation they had (”just making some notes about things i like for later on” todd had said. “that’s really cool, todd,” cameron smiled back at him, unknowing that todd was most certainly picking out things that not only he would like, but neil, too). finally caved and helped charlie build the new furniture when they got back because as much as he couldn't stand charlie sometimes, it made for an incredibly interesting bonding session.
anyway, that’s all. i feel like the poets out in public and not on campus just harness a complete chaos anywhere they go HAHA. idk if this sucked or not, but it was super fun to write hehe. happy sunday i don’t want to go to work tomorrow, but such is the life of someone who has rent and bills to pay in the coming months, sigh
#dead poets society#neil perry#todd anderson#charlie dalton#steven meeks#gerard pitts#richard cameron#dps headcanons#ikea is actually sick#but you really can get lost HAHA#dps#dps boys#anderperry#neil and todd
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I need some kind of help, hopefully someone here can provide something. If not, oh well. I’m tired of seeking advice on Facebook.
Two of my closest friends, my therapist and I are all in agreement that inpatient treatment (or at the very least an IOP). I’ve officially hit rock-bottom, I no longer feel like I can keep myself safe, I am starting to rely on cannabis to get me through the nights (fine for some people, for me it isn’t ideal. I don’t even react well), I don’t even feel like I can function as a human.
I really feel like I have lost everything that matters to me.
I am struggling to pick up the pieces. I am sick and tired of being in a constant state of sadness or panic. I need medications that help me. I need a plan that helps me. I just need help.
There’s a couple huge caveats though.
1. I do not want to go alone.
Checking myself into a mental hospital by myself fucking terrifies me. I don’t have a close friend near enough to me that I want to go with me. Right now my options are ex-boyfriend and ex-bestfriend who was horribly abusive to me. Not exactly the best pickings, but I do have a good relationship with my ex now.
2. My family will probably be pissed
I hide this stuff from them for this reason my therapist already told me to bring a friend and to not even tell my parents until after I’m admitted. They’re already dealing with a lot. I don’t want them to be upset that I have to go back. A close friend keeps telling “they’ll be even more upset if their child is dead”, and yeah they’re right, but still.
I do not know how to navigate this. I really don’t want to do this alone. I don’t even know if I will go through with it. I do feel like I am at a point where I need it, and that says a lot considering how much I hate these places. The place I am considering is good, I did an intensive program for BPD a few years back. But the places I’ve done inpatient at were complete shit.
Do I ask my ex to come with me? Do I just go by myself? How do I get over my parents possibly being mad? I’m so terrified.
#I need help#self help#self care#mental health#mental illness#personal#I need advice#inpatient treatment
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ATEEZ Reaction: S/O flinching during an argument
Anon said: “Hi um could I please request for an ateez reaction to their s/o flinching in an argument? Thank you so much if you do this!! Much love ❤️❤️”
Triggerwarning: This scenario could be triggering for some people as it deals with past (physical) abuse, no abuse will happen though. Take care of yourself and please seek help if you need it.
Genderneutral
Heavy angst (Writing angst is always emotionally draining but I love it so much, it means a lot more to me)
Jongho
You knew Jongho was strong. This didn’t help when he raised his right hand during the argument. You instinctively crouched down and covered your face with your arms. When you couldn’t feel any sort of punch, you dared to look at him again. The expression on his face scared the living hell out of you: shock, hurt, pain, disappointment.
“You thought I’d hi-hit you?”
At that point you realized you didn’t think, your body just reacted. Things, that happened in the past were screwing up your present, you had to start letting go.
“I do-don’t know, Jongho, I didn’t… I-You raised your arm and I thought-”
That’s when you broke down: knees giving out and tears starting to spill from your eyes, announcing that you were starting the self-healing process.
Sunken on to the floor, he slowly approached you, gently wrapping his arms around your body. For a while nothing could be heard except your muffled cries.
Holding you tight while you fell apart, he reassured you: “I would never lay a finger on you like that… please believe me, you are so precious”
After a moment of silence, he continued: “Do you wanna talk about what made you think that I could do that to you?”
With almost no energy left, you slowly shook your head no.
“It’s okay, I love you and I will always be here”
Wooyoung
He has a good heart. But he is also very passionate and that sometimes scares you when he is in one of his moods, rants like there’s no tommorow and he doesn’t hear you anymore. You were trying to get a word in but Wooyoung was speaking louder and louder about how it wasn’t his responsibility to get groceries after being at the studio for 13 hours a day, even though you asked him to in the morning.
He got so worked up he puffed his chest and fitfully lifted his arms. That was enough to make you flinch. It was a short action but of course Wooyoung noticed. Immediately becoming silent, it looked like someone took the life out of him.
“Did you think… I was going to…?”
Scared of your own reaction, you were paralyzed for a moment. Wooyoung rushed to take you into his arms, his comforting arms.
“I’m sorry Woo”, your voice sounded exhausted, like you’ve never been before.
“You don’t have to apologize for it… I’m sorry for getting so worked up, I never meant to scare you… you know I will always protect you.”
Mingi
You didn’t even remember what the argument was about. Mingi came home a little aggravated and you were tired from work so that’s when things went south.
“How many times do I have to tell you? I have the most important performance of my career that day, I can’t come visit your parents!”
“Mingi you never make time for me! It’s like your job is more important to you than me!”
Visibly frustrated, he quickly lifted up his arms in defeat. That’s when the flashbacks started in your head and you retracted back into your shell, shoulders and arms raised to protect your head.
“Y/N… I… Did you really think…” He didn’t need to finish.
The look on his face showed emotions that were beyond hurt, pain and disappointment.
You struggled to keep your composure: “I’m sorry Mingi, I don’t-”
He hurried over to you to take you into his arms.
“It’s okay… I could never do something like that to you.”
San
He forgot your anniversary. That was it. You knew that it wasn’t that big of a deal, but little things like that were important to you. They mattered more than any big gesture or present.
You simply expected him to write you a sweet message during the day or something like that. But he forgot. Even when you went to see him in the evening he didn’t seem to remember. So, you wanted to confront him about how much that hurt you.
You didn’t expect it to develop into a huge argument though.
“San, what I expected was just a little reminder that our relationship is as important to you as it is to me, I just wanted my boyfriend to send me a text… but you couldn’t even do that!”
That was it for him. You doubted his ability to show love?
He took a step closer to you but after seeing the rage in his eyes that was enough for you to step back in fear.
That broke him. And you could see that.
“No no no, that’s not- you’re not scared of me, right Y/N?”
It all happened so fast you couldn’t think straight. When you didn’t respond he broke down in tears.
So it was you, who took him into your arms, even though you doubted his good nature for a split second.
You tried to keep him together with your hug while struggling yourself.
San would never ever hurt you. His reaction was enough to make it clear to you how much the thought of you being scared of him hurt him.
Holding each other close you both let out cleansing tears and haunting memories that used to be tucked away in a back drawer of your mind, ready to be dealt with now.
Yeosang
He’s not the person to get angry audibly. Like twice a year you guys a conflict but it was never loud.
But this one was different; it was a much deeper conflict of values. He prioritized work. You knew he loved his work but did he have to ignore your needs while doing what he loved? You believed he could also pay a little attention to you, that’s what being in a relationship meant, right?
It was scary when he started to raise his voice but it was even more terrifying when he started to gesture wildly, trying to explain why you were wrong.
Naturally, you went into protection mode.
He stopped right in his tracks when he saw the terrified expression on your face.
“Y/N.. I wasn’t going to… I didn’t mean to scare you. I was just…”
You didn’t know how to explain yourself either. But you didn’t need to, Yeosang understood what was going on.
He carefully approached you and offered you a big hug. You let yourself collapse into him and allowed the tears to spill from your eyes, letting out all the pent-up stress and fear.
“I’m sorry my love. I will never forgive myself for scaring you…”
Yunho
You were on edge the whole day, anxiety acting up again. Sometimes you could deal with it, but not today.
In the evening it got even worse when Yunho didn’t seem to notice you were more nervous and jittery than usual. He’s had a hard day too.
So, you decided to put aside your own troubles to ask him how his day went.
His eyebrows furrowed: “I don’t wanna talk about it.”
“I just wanted to ask you how your day went, Yunho, and why you’re so pissed, I’m sorry”
He groaned out of frustration and turned his body away from you - a little too fast. That’s when something snapped in you and you got flooded with horrible memories of past situations that scarred you physically but more importantly mentally: You couldn’t help but protect your head from punches that might land on it.
“No, baby, don’t… I.. I didn’t mean to… I wasn’t going to…”
The look in his eyes was pure defeat.
“I’m so sorry” his voice was merely a whisper.
You were shocked when you realized you had thought he could harm you physically. He was your safe place.
So you let yourself fall into his arms, hoping you could comfort him as much as he comforted you.
Hongjoong
In an argument Hongjoong could raise his voice, you knew that. What you didn’t know was that even small rapid movements of his could trigger a memory in your mind that you hoped to suppress forever.
He only ran his hand through his hair but your reflex was to immediately cover your face.
“What was that?... Are y-you scared of me…?”
Tears started to spill from your eyes as you realized that you had hurt him: ”I’m sorry Hongjoong, I don’t know what’s happening”
Taking you into his arms, he tried to calm you down with his touch: ”Shh, it’s okay, I’m here, Y/N”
After your tears dried up a little, you moved to cuddle on the couch.
“Do you wanna tell me what happened?”
It was painful but you decided to tell him everything you could remember.
He was sure to hold you especially tight during the parts where you didn’t think you could keep on talking.
Seonghwa
You guys fought about his job and how he was never home. He reasoned he loved what he did and that was supposed to make it okay. It didn’t. So, your dispute was going nowhere.
Out of frustration he turned away from you.
The action was so quick, but it scared a part of you, that you didn’t know existed: the part that was abused.
You couldn’t help but flinch. Of course, Seonghwa noticed.
“Why’d you…? Y/N are you sc-scared of me?” His eyes wide open, the corners of his mouth visibly drooping.
You sank down onto the floor, unable to hold it in any longer. It was useless to cover your eyes, tears already spilling like a waterfall.
Seonghwa was quick to hug you.
You were falling apart in his arms, but it felt good to let it all out. Neither you nor Seonghwa needed to speak.
Let me know what you think in the comments.
#ateez#ateez reactions#ateez scenarios#ateez fluff#ateez angst#ateez au#ateez x reader#ateez seonghwa#park seonghwa#seonghwa#hongjoong#kim hongjoong#ateez hongjoong#yunho#jeong yunho#ateez yunho#yeosang#kang yeosang#ateez yeosang#san#choi san#ateez san#mingi#song mingi#ateez mingi#wooyoung#jung wooyoung#ateez wooyoung#ateez jongho#choi jongho
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The Makoto scene that hit close home to me
Disclaimer: This post contains spoilers for “Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc” and “Danganronpa 3: End of Hope’s Peak High School”. This post also speaks about suicide and death in general, so be careful if you’re sensitive.
A couple of days ago, while watching Danganronpa content to feed my new hyperfixation, I came across a specific video which was titled “Despair Naegi”
Having watched Danganronpa the animation fully, this clip caught my interest as in both the game and the anime, Makoto never falls into despair. So I wanted to check if this was a real thing (I am one who watches a lot of spoilers lmao) and indeed: it was real.
For context, this was the video.
https://youtu.be/dFL3CO0BV6Q
(If you don’t want to watch "Danganronpa 3: End of Hope’s Peak High School spoilers" then just keep scrolling and ignore it.)
And I watched it. And I’m not sure if I regret it or not, but I am sure of one fact: it broke me.
Not only seeing Makoto being faced by the ghosts of his dead classmates on his despair brainwashing video, but also seeing him falling to despair and grabbing a knife, seeing suicide as his only way out (by following the voices in his brainwashed state, which tell him to join his dead friends; they tell him that's the way), that's something a lot of us can relate there, those who struggle with suicidal thoughts and just like Naegi, fall into despair and see to take away their lives as their only way out of their current situation.
Sure, on my way.
He's determined, he's about to do it, and he doesn't think it twice until the knife he's grabbing is thrown away by Juzo Sakakura grabs him and by force he gets Makoto out of his despairful state, with the latter finally reconsidering it when he's stopped.
Juzo then tells something to Makoto which has a strong message behind those words, in my opinion.
You’re the man who defeated Junko Enoshima… If you think I’m gonna let you kill yourself, you’re dumber than you look! Hear me ya little punk?! Not now… not ever!
Those lines can be interpreted as he’s saying “you have done some truly amazing things in your life, you really can do great things, and you're just gonna throw it all overboard? No. I'm not gonna let you do that. I know it's hard right now, but you can overcome this, come on. This is not the way out. It will never be the way out"
Sakakura is telling the boy to not give up, to continue... to not lose hope. Let's not forget, Makoto Naegi has the title of Ultimate Hope, but this just shows how like everyone else, Naegi is one person who can break down when put on a situation where things are so stressful and horrible, that you can only see to take out your life as your only way out, losing all hope in the process.
Is at these moments where it's crucial to have someone to stop us from doing that, to remind you that there can be a way out and you must keep hope that you will be able to get out of that hazy abyss of despair you're in.
Believe me, having someone to stop you and make you rethink your choices and reorganize your thoughts, show you some care and support when you most need it, it can be such a helpful thing for someone who battles with suicidal thoughts.
In my personal experience... I wish I had someone to tell me to keep hope when I was struggling a couple of years ago.
TRIGGER WARNING: SPECIFIC MENTIONS OF SUICIDE ATTEMPTS ARE GONNA BE MENTIONED.
I've... tried to kill myself twice. Life was being really bad for me during the pandemic, and I lost all hope of things getting better. I was tired of everything and I tried to put an end to it, August of 2020. It didn't work, somehow the pills didn't have an effect on me and I only got to get stomach-sick. And nothing else.
When my parents got to know, instead of asking why, of supporting me, they were mad at me. They said "don't do something so stupid ever again" and it made me feel ashamed. I also got assigned a therapist (but it didn't help much in the end) and again during 2021 (can't remember specific date) I drank (a shot? idk, it wasn't even a glass or half a glass but it wasn't just a sip either) bleach. Somehow... nothing happened? Yeah. Nothing happened. Absolutely nothing.
Remember when on my "Public apology to Nagito Komaeda" I mentioned I was somewhat of a "lucky" person myself too...? Well, here's pretty much the reason of why I said that... haha... hah... okay it's probably not funny, sorry. But you can't deny it, I lived out of pure luck.
I haven't tried anything like that ever since. And most of the time, I've felt better. I've been better. My life has been pretty better ever since, and I also have a better therapist now who has helped me a lot during these times... but sometimes I fall into the abyss again, and the thoughts once more plague my mind.
Not so long ago, actually. During the end of the semester, I was so stressed and emotionally drained after also dealing with a couple of fucked up situations with people I used to call my friends, my mind felt hazy and when I tried looking at the future, trying to give myself some hope that everything would be okay... I didn't see anything. I saw no future for me. Only the dark hazy consuming my mind.
I was losing all of my hope again.
But this time fortunately I had people to tell me to not give up. That I'd find a way out of everything, and that I would be fine. So I just had to keep my hope and keep pushing through until I could see the light.
I could say I had my own Juzo to snap me out of my own despair.
And, curiously, while I was struggling with my thoughts again, is when I came across with this video. And it really broke me, I felt like the message was directed to me. And it motivated me to keep pushing through, and here I am today! I found my way out and things are okay again. I'm glad I didn't give up this time.
What I'm saying is, all of us can be there at least once, in Makoto's place. And if you are there, please seek for someone to pull you out of your own despair, or if you know someone who is struggling, please help them, give them a little of hope that things will be okay.
Because things are okay in the end.
I promise they are. And they will be okay, as long as you always have hope.
Beatriz Aqueveque Henríquez.
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I’m not sure if you have something planned for this already but wouldn’t it be the height of irony if Tooley got monched on by a starved Chris when he forgot to drug him? Just opens the door and whoops! He eaten!
CW: Whumper death, drunkenness, some dehumanization, blood drinking, bit of gore, vampirism, some very light catholicism
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New York City, 1936
KING EDWARD VIII ABDICATES THRONE British Monarch to Wed American Socialite Wallis Simpson
Tooley kicks at the sodden, half-frozen newspaper stuck to his shoe, grunting with the effort it takes to dislodge it. His hands are buried deep in the pockets of his thick woolen coat, and he ignores the envious stares of others whose threadbare outfits are patched, whose gloves are little more than rags wrapped around their not-quite-frostbitten fingers.
Instead, he pulls his scarf up higher, tucks his chin beneath its knitted warmth, and finally manages to send the scrap of paper with its water-stained black-and-white image of a stern-faced soon-to-be ex-king and his Baltimore lover into the street, where it sticks in a puddle and soaks clean through.
The old-timers say a heavy rain is coming, citing their aching joints and bones. It's been a wet winter already, and the absolute last thing New York needs is more rain.
Tooley plans to be holed up in his nice warm little house for the whole of it. He's sold three paintings in a month, and he can spend the next few weeks on the next one until his hands want to drop right off his wrists without having to distract himself with petty concerns like money.
The liquor bubbles warm inside him, and even with the frigid air he's broken a sweat along his back, trickling to his waistband, almost a tickle. He stumbles a little, catches himself, coughs out a laugh as the cold air burns deep into his lungs. It can't penetrate the hazy heat of the drink, though.
Mel's always has the best whiskey, and Tooley has the green these days to pay for the very best indeed. He's spent what might be a whole month's pay - if he weren't the luckiest artist in New York - in a single night.
You might say he's made a deal with the devil.
He pulls the brim of his fedora down, shielding his brow from the bit of freezing moisture speckling his cheeks. He struggles not to giggle like a child.
"Got a bit to spare for a hungry man?" A rasping voice calls out from an alley as he passes. "Help me feed my family, sir? I'm out of work, sir! Got three little ones with hungry bellies!"
Tooley ignores him.
There are crowds like that everywhere these days, always pressing for help, for a little something more and more and more. Men out of work, men in bread lines, women with tired faces and sad children. He's had just about enough of it.
They're calling it a depression, and he finds the term apt enough, considering it seems the whole country's been tumbled into a hole and can't find its way out.
He'd take his muse to Europe and paint there if it weren't for the echoing tension that bleeds over across the sea. Every nation he's idolized for their arts is trying to posture at each other. Rattling sabers while the people sigh heavily and keep washing their laundry, like always.
Tooley was a child when the Great War tore his own family apart - losing an older half-brother to the pointless trenches, a father to the mustard gas that ate his lungs to pieces, a mother to her desperate, sharp grief at her husband and stepson's loss.
The War had rendered him alone in the world before he was even twenty, though he'd been too young to hardly understand it and it had had nothing to do with him.
Wars were for rich men to send poor men to fight in, and Tooley is hoping to have enough wealth to maybe just float right past a new one, if the rumors beginning to swirl came true and Europe is going to erupt. Surely, though, no one would let a second war as horrible as the last happen.
Surely not.
Still, even so, he can simply disappear if they try to call him up to fight. He has no one left to lose, after all. No one to fight for, no one to care for. No one but his pretty little model, all locked away, his to keep.
Tooley takes a sharp left and the streets begin to change from the harsher gray of the city proper into neighborhoods, houses crammed tightly together. It's not the best part of town - Tooley's parents weren't the wealthiest, and he doesn't live like a gentleman, he's got no need to, it's not how he thinks a proper artist should live anyway. Have to keep up the image of the nearly-starving creative genius, after all.
There are still lights in some windows, despite the late hour. Tooley isn't the only one drunk at midnight and still moving.
It's a mile or so from the start of his street to where his house is nestled between two others, close enough he could reach out his kitchen window and touch the brick of the home next door. He smiles a little. His nose aches with the cold at the tip of it, but that's nothing to worry himself over.
He's home.
It takes him four tries to unlock his front door, the key jabbing into wood and brass too far to one side or the other. He laughs, breath puffing white clouds into the air, his ears burning with the cold where his hat doesn't quite cover them.
Good thing he's not with a woman, tonight, if his aim's so bad with just his hands.
The thought makes him laugh harder, nearly a guffaw, loud enough that he's sure he's woken a neighbor or two. It's not the first time.
Finally, the key slides home and the lock clicks and Tooley moves inside. The house is chilled in the entryroom, but as he slides his coat and fedora off to leave them on the coat rack and moves into the kitchen, towards the back, he can feel the warmth slowly trickling from the ticking radiators along the walls.
He's due for a coal delivery in the next couple of days, and boy, he's going to need it with the weather the way it's been.
Tooley heads for his perfect little secret, the vampire held in the backroom, once a sort of servant's bedroom for some family that had owned the home even before his own parents did. It's his studio, now, and the place where the little vampire boy is kept.
He unlocks that door, too. A key, a deadbolt, a little sliding lock at the top for added safety.
"Here, kitty kitty kitty," He slurs, and laughs again, delighted at his own little joke.
There's a scrape and a rustle, and Tooley steps back to let the vampire boy move forward, out of the freezing unheated room - Tooley only turns the radiator on in there when he himself is working, it's not like dead things care about being warm after all - and into the kitchen proper, with its little two-person table.
The boy is looking dirty - he's due for a bath, long overdue honestly. Good things he doesn't sweat enough to stink.
His hair hangs lank in his eyes, closer to dark copper than the new-penny shine Tooley prefers. There are smudges along his cheeks, marring his perfect freckles. He's draped in a sweater patched badly where his elbows have worn holes right through, pants that are tied with a rope since Tooley sure isn't going to waste money on a belt for a corpse.
"Is, did, did you, um, did you bring me food?" The vampire boy looks up at him, eyes glinting a little in the dimness, that unsettling cat-like glow-in-the-dark effect. His little fangs flash, too. "I'm... I'm, I'm hungry, Tooley."
"I know you are, bloodsucker."
"It's, it's been, um, it's been weeks, Tooley-"
"I know, I know. Shut your trap." Tooley ruffles his hair, then pulls his hand back with a grimace as he remembers how dirty and greasy it's gotten, walking away to go to the sink and wash his hands. "We'll get t'that. I met with someone very important at th' bar tonight, and first things first, you and I are going to celebrate."
The boy moves slowly, staying half-crouched - he's been hit before, when Tooley didn't want him to stand all the way up. He settles himself against the wall, head tilted to the side. His cheekbones cut sharp angles in his face, edging down to his narrow chin.
Those big green eyes follow Tooley everywhere he goes.
"Celebrate what?" He asks, and Tooley wonders just how old the ridiculous little thing is. He'd said early aughts, hadn't he, on when he was turned? So he'd be, what, in his forties really?
Funny.
Was he locked up during the Great War?
He's still a pretty teenager, but he's probably closing in on fifty. Tooley's twenty-some years younger and looks infinitely older, in his own estimation.
Tooley should look into vampirism, seems an excellent way to hold onto your looks, doesn't it? He wonders if the boy knows how to turn him. They could make beautiful work forever...
Hm.
Something to ruminate over when he's hungover in the morning.
"New commission. I'm taking a few weeks off, give us both a break, but I've got the basic details. I'll pick up a broad, get her all set up for modeling, we'll make us a mint, sweetheart." He moves to the counter, picking up the half-full bottle of gin he keeps there, taking a swig and grimacing, coughing. There's a rattle in his lungs these days he doesn't like much.
"You'll, you'll kill her?" The vampire watches him. He looks hungry, with all those sharp lines emphasized, as though he were a painting himself still in progress, with the outline still written in graphite showing through the colors. He's pale, painted in wash, not yet turned to vivid velvet intensity with oils.
"'Course. You think any of my models would stay alive anywhere near you?" He laughs at the very idea, missing the vampire's little flinch as he turns away. He pulls a loaf of bread from the breadbox, already starting to stale but that's all right, he's going to toast it over the stove anyway. The world swims around him from the liquor, and he catches the counter with one hand to keep himself upright.
The feeling brings another laugh out of him.
The little vampire smiles faintly in echo of it. He has to work to get the stove to gas, narrowing his eyes as it struggles, sputters, before finally a little flame flares up. Just enough to give off a little heat for the toast.
"Fuck. Drank too much. Or not enough." He laughs again, and pulls a knife from the knifeblock, the sharp serrated thin blade best for slicing through the heavy sourdough he buys from a woman down the block. Bit of toast, pat of salted butter, that'll get him through to morning when he can head down for eggs and bacon at Paulie's diner.
Maybe he'll even buy some extra for the hungry men who hound around the doors. He can be a philanthropist.
As he slices, the knife slips off the stale, hard crust and cuts right through the back of his hand, a long line immediately welling with bright red blood. He groans, irritated, and sets the knife down, turning to run cold water over it as the pain flares bright, but slightly muted from his drunkenness.
There's a rustle behind him, and Tooley's mind only belatedly begins to allow alarm to trickle through the warm fuzz of the gin and whiskey. He slowly turns around.
Where the vampire boy had been curled against the wall, a bundle of skinny bones and too-big clothes, there's... nothing.
Tooley glances to one side and sees the boy crouched on the floor by the edge of the lower cabinets, his hands pressed into the ground. He moved five feet in less than a second.
His eyes are flared, wide and with pupils burying the iris in black. He clicks, softly, tongue against teeth in an inhuman way.
Click-click-click-click.
click-click-click.
How'd he move so fast?
"Shit," Tooley whispers. "When's the last time I fed you?"
The vampire doesn't answer, only stares, unblinking, muscles tensing and relaxing, tensing and relaxing. He clicks again.
His lips pull back from his teeth and those fangs that seem so cute and little on every other day suddenly look long, like daggers, dripping a shimmering venom to the ground.
Tooley tries not to blink, too, but his eyes dry and dry and dry and eventually he can't help it. His eyes close, a fraction of a second, and flare open right away.
Not fast enough.
The vampire leaps and Tooley grunts at the impact of the small bony body against his own, his lower back smacking into the line of the counter with a flash of pain. The bread and knife both clatter to the ground.
Panic comes, but it doesn't help. He's still groping to get at another knife when the vampire's fingernails dig into his scalp, grip into his hair and jerk his head to the side to bare his throat.
"Hungry," The vampire boy hisses. "Hungry, Tooley. Hungry."
"I-I know, just, just don't blow your wig, gimmee a minute, I can get you something, just hold on-" Tooley's voice is thin from the harsh angle his neck is being held at, and he swallows, seeing in a bleary haze the way the vampire's huge eyes are focused on the movement of his adam's apple, the bob of his throat.
Can he see the blood pulsing there?
He puts his hands up against the vampire's chest to try and push him off, but it's like pushing against rock. He thinks about painting the vampire as a kind of young Prometheus for a dandy from Boston, tied naked to a rock to be pecked at by eagles, and wonders if the mythological man ever tried to push the rock itself, and if it failed as miserably for him as it does for Tooley now.
"There's blood in the shed out back, just let me go and I'll grab it for you." He pitches his voice soothing and slightly patronizing, like speaking to a whining dog. "Okay, kitten? Just two minutes and you'll be fed, right as rain."
The vampire pauses, hesitates, and Tooley feels his hands working at Tooley's hair and one shoulder, like a cat kneading into your lap before they settle. His little stray. His breathing starts to ease, his heart to slow down, the first rush of panic subsiding.
The world still spins a little, but the rush of adrenaline is settling things into something more solid, wiping away the liquor.
"I'll put you back in your room and go get it for you, it's right outside, good and cold," Tooley coos, and realizes too late it isn't what he should have said.
"There's blood right here, and and and, and, and it's living," The vampire boy says, eyes wide and inhuman, and he's absolutely gorgeous. "Your, your, yours is hot."
Tooley would paint him like this, all feral instinct overwriting the living corpse of an anonymous Irish immigrant who died dozens of years ago. A metaphor, maybe, for the way some of the children who come here lose all their European culture and get boorishly American, and-
The vampire bites down, and all thoughts of art and culture flee from Tooley's mind.
The liquor holds off the pain so long the venom hits before he even feels the way those sharp teeth have breached his skin. He goes limp, dropping in a heap to the floor. He thinks he hits his head on the loaf of bread before it knocks into the floor.
They feel about the same level of hardness.
The knife is right next to his head, lying there, shining in the yellowed lamplight, with its carved wooden handle.
All he has to do is move his hand a few inches to reach it.
Just a few inches.
He tries, desperately, to tell his fingers where to go.
The vampire sucks hard at the wound in his neck, pulling blood from his veins like a man drinking an egg cream after a long hot day's work, and Tooley groans. He can feel the press and pull without the pain, and it's the strangest thing he's ever felt. Stranger than those he's gone to bed with.
The venom makes his limbs feel like stones, weighed down to motionless. He struggles even to swallow saliva, to take a deep breath. His heart never races again with panic. He isn't able to feel it any longer.
Those sharp little fingernails dig hard into his shoulders, the weight of the vampire settled on him, straddling him. A little flirty thought - at least buy me dinner first - makes its way across his mind, barely coherent, slow as molasses.
The vampire starts up his soft rumble, the vibration filtering in through into Tooley's body. It seems like it makes him feel even more frozen, heavy as the ocean and weightless at once.
His eyes are on the ceiling, and he realizes how long it's been since anyone cleaned the corners where cobwebs have grown and grown. They need swept away.
Funny how he never noticed before. Too busy with his art.
There's a moment where Tooley is surprised to look down at himself, as if he's floating somewhere near the ceiling staring down at his own open eyes. When he needed not to blink, he couldn't stop himself, but now the body he is looking at just stares and stares and stares, unseeing, unblinking, unbreathing-
Oh.
As soon as the realization hits, Tooley's awareness of himself as a body he can observe is gone.
There is darkness, and then a point of terrible final light. He feels the grasping of bloodied hands.
And he's gone.
The vampire drinks until the blood stops pumping, until the heart beneath his kneading hand is still. Then a rough tongue laps at the wounds, finding the last few droplets there that still sing with life.
The vampire pulls back, skin flush with life, no longer white as snow. His freckles stand out, scattered like constellations of stars over his skin. The dead man beneath him has all the paleness he had before, they are switched, swapped death for life.
He wipes the blood from around his mouth and looks slowly upwards, breathing in deep gulps he doesn't need but which feel so, so good.
He moves to the stove, to turn it off, but he doesn't quite turn it off all the way. An odd smell fills his nose and the vampire's nostrils wrinkle, but he doesn't know what the scent is, and he simply pulls Tooley's coat on before he leaves, door unlocked.
A few minutes later, a man with his hands over a barrel fire looks up to see a redheaded teenager in a woolen coat far too large for him move under a streetlamp, pausing to look up at it as if surprised by how bright its light is.
He blinks, and the man squints.
The young man's mouth is open, as if scenting the air by letting it roll over his tongue. Before the man can quite understand what he is looking at, the boy's mouth closes and he turns to look at the man. As his eyes shift from being lit by the lamp to draped in shadow, though...
They glow.
"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph," The man whispers, crossing himself hurriedly. "Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle, b-be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil-"
The boy looks right at him, head tilted. The flames of the barrel flicker, hissing a little when raindrops start to fall. His lips pull back from his teeth and there are an animal's fangs there, plain as day.
The man feels pure horror at the sight of a demon walking free and unfettered in New York City. He grabs at the cross he wears around his neck and holds it out, his voice trembling. "May G-God... rebuke him, we humbly pray-"
"I, I, I hope that works for you," The boy says, and his voice is soft, and there's almost a lilt of the old country there that the man recognizes, not quite his own but not far off. "It never d-did for, um, for me. Don't worry. I'm... I'm full. You're, you're, you're in no danger from me. When, when, when, when... when did you come here? To this place?"
The man swallows around a lump in his throat, and yet he finds himself compelled to answer honestly. "Two years past, give or take. Came with m'wife and baby girl."
"From where?"
"... Kerry," He says, against his will. He can't seem to hold back the words. "And my wife grew up in County Cork."
The boy smiles, and his horrid teeth disappear when his lips press together. He looks for all the world like any other young man, a bit skinny perhaps and in need of a good meal or three, but no danger to anyone.
But the man has seen the demon that he is, and he finds himself grateful for the fire between them and the cross still in his hand, the shield of St. Michael and the cloak of Christ Himself.
"My, my, my, my parents were from County Cork," The demon boy says, lightly. His lilt is slightly stronger. "Wonder if we're cousins, your your wife and I. Maybe so. Stay home, um, after dark. Don't, don't, don't work when the sun is, um, is down."
The boy turns and walks away.
The man realizes with a start that in the midst of a chilly December night, the boy's feet are utterly bare. He steps over ice like he could walk on water.
There was blood smeared on the back of his coat.
The man flinches as he hears a sudden boom, close enough that he feels it in his chest as well as hearing the sound. A moment later a woman runs by shouting that a house has caught flame, to call for help.
The man looks back at the way the boy went.
He's gone.
-
@mylifeisonthebookshelf @insaneinthepaingame @keeper-of-all-the-random-things @burtlederp @finder-of-rings @newandfiguringitout @astrobly @endless-whump @pretty-face-breaker @gonna-feel-that-tomorrow @doveotions @boxboysandotherwhump @oops-its-whump @cubeswhump @whump-tr0pes @downriver914 @whumptywhumpdump @whumpiary @orchidscript @nonsensical-whump @outofangband @what-a-whump
#whump#vampire chris au#vampire au chris#chris the strawberry blond romantic#vampire whump#vampire whumpee#escaped whumpee#runaway whumpee#vampirism#vampire fiction#vampire#original fiction#horror fiction#horror writing#writeblr#writblr#whumpblr#whumper pov#whumper death#creepy whumper#possessive whumper#captivity#blood drinking#blood tw#referenced starvation#pet whump#dehumanization tw#alternate universe#horror#monster whump
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Peter comforting upset reader
Summary: reader is upset that they weren’t able to register for the fall classes they wanted and Peter helps them feel better. This is based off what happened to me today. I wasn’t able to register for any of the fall classes I needed because my school never said when registration opened. So now I have horrible class times to where I have to stay there from 9am to 5:45 pm and I can’t leave cause I’m a commuter student. I’m ready upset but writing this is helping me get through it. Since Peter can’t really hold me in his arms and tell me it was going to get better I wrote it!
Warnings: Angst, fluff
Word count: 1876
You were sitting at the dining room table with your head in your hands. You looked up at the glaring white screen showing your registered classes for the fall semester of college. Your university had failed to tell you when registration was, you only found out because you received an email saying that you haven't registered yet. In a panic you had quickly logged on and tried your best to get the classes you needed. Only to find them full or restricted for some unnamed reasons. If only that stupid advisor had told you when registration was. For God’s sake you had a meeting with him last week! He could have told you but he didn't and now your classes were all a mess.
You let your head fall back into your hands. All your classes were at weird times and none of them worked with one another. Everyday of the week you had a class at 9 and then one at 3 that didn't end until 5:45. That wouldn't be a problem if you lived on campus. You could just go to the classes then head back to your dorm and chill in between them. But you were a commuter. You lived almost an hour away from campus, driving there and back twice a day four times a week was not feasible. It was going to take way too much gas, and since you had to stay at the school all day it meant you wouldn't have any time for yourself for the entirety of the fall semester.
You had called the school begging them to help you but they said it was your own fault for missing the registration day. You tried your best to explain that you never got any emails about registration and they just said that they sent them. You must have not checked your email. You hung up and went to your parents hoping that maybe they could talk to the school, But all they did was dismiss you and ask why you missed registration, they were blaming you. They also said that maybe those classes wouldn't be that bad and to just take the four classes you were able to secure. You explained to them that in only taking four classes you would mess up your graduation plan but they just said you would take summer courses or something. They didn't get it, you were there on a scholarship if you took a summer course you were going to have to pay out of pocket, something you couldn't afford at the moment.
You were so mad you wanted to scream, but at the same time you just wanted to break down and cry. You slammed your laptop shut and made your way out of the house grabbing the keys off the hook, telling your parents you were going for a drive to cool down. You pulled out of the driveway and made your way to the one person you knew could make you feel better. But as soon as you pulled up to Peter’s house you regretted coming. You didn't want to bother him with something as stupid as being upset over your class registration. So you sat in your parked car by the curb in front of his house and just laid your head down on the steering wheel.
Peter had seen you pull up and a smile made his way to his face. He loved when you came to see him, he looked out the window waiting for you to come out of your car and make your way to the door. After a couple minutes you were still sitting in your car huddled over the wheel, Peter exited his house and made his way over to your truck. He tapped lightly on the driver's window making you jump. You lifted your head and rolled the window down, putting on your best fake smile. Peter looked at your concern in his eyes. “(y/n) what’s wrong?”
“Nothing!” You said in an obviously fake cheery voice. He watched you struggle to maintain your smile, it shaking and the corners dipping every few seconds. Peter reached through the window, wiping away the tears you didn't even know were falling. That soft gesture broke you. You leaned into his hand and broke down crying.
“Hey, it’s okay.” Peter said softly opening the door to your truck, the minute he fully opened it your collapsed into his arms. Holding onto his shirt and wailing into it. He gently picked you up and you clinged on even tighter to him. He took his time walking you into his house and down the stairs into the basement. He set you down on his bed and kneeled down in front of you. “(y/n) what’s wrong.”
You kept crying, mumbling through your tears. “It’s nothing, it’s stupid.” You were so ashamed to be crying in front of him you kept your eyes shut.
Peter lifted your head by your chin. “(y/n) look at me.” You reluncalty opened your eyes to meet his own. “If it’s making you this upset it can’t be nothing.” His soft brown eyes watched yours, patiently waiting for you to tell him. You calmed yourself down the best you could and told him what had happened. All about missing the registration day, not getting any of the classes you really needed to how your parents didn't even seem to care. He didn't interrupt you, just listened to you, giving your thigh a soft comforting squeeze every now and then. When you finished he finally spoke.
“That’s awful, I'm so sorry.”
“It’s all my fault.” You hiccupped out.
“No it’s not.” He said firmly. “They should have told you when registration was. They should be worrying about fixing this, not you.” He took your hand in his own. “On Monday I’m going to go to your school and straighten this all out. You know how persuasive I can be.” He joked, you let out a light laugh.
You wiped away your tears with the back of your hand trying to get up to leave. “It’s okay. It’s not that big of a deal. I shouldn't even be this upset about it.” You said attempting to joke, he just frowned at you. He lightly pulled you back down to sit on the bed.
“No it's not.” He said firmly. “They messed up, this is their fault not yours. You have a right to be upset.” You started to cry again at the fact that he ackowdlged that your feelings were relevant. He didn't try to dismiss them. “If we can get them to change that will be amazing, and if we can't that’s okay.” You opened your mouth to protest but Peter continued on. “Sometimes things happen that we can’t control like this. That doesn't mean the world is going to end. You have a lot of credits, only taking four this semester isn't the worst thing that could happen.” He got up off the floor and sat down on the bed next to you, You felt it dip under his added weight.
“But if I don’t get the six classes this semester I’m going to graduate a semester late.” You looked up at time, tears in your eyes. “I was going to graduate early, in three years instead of four and now I’m going to mess it all up.
Peter turned his body to face yours, and he made you do the same. “(y/n) It’s going to be okay, you could use this break. You’ve been so tired lately taking all those extra classes a semester. You are burning yourself out. It’s okay to take breaks every now and then. Maybe this is going to be a good thing, You’ll be under less stress and you’ll have more time during the day to study. And you didn't think I wasn’t going to visit you did ya.” You looked back up at him and gave him a small smile. “That’s right I’ll come and see you in between classes, and if you want I can take you home too. That way you don’t have to spend all day there. And when it comes to graduating early, baby you still are! Graduating a semester earlier is still super impressive. You’re too hard on yourself.”
You surpsied him by pulling him into a tight huf. “Thank you Peter.” Your vocie was muffled by the close proximety. You pulled away after a while. “
“Do you wanna get some food or something?” He asked.
You gave him a a weak smile. “Is it okay if we just lay here for a while? I’m still a little uspet.”
“Of course. And you have a right to be.” He said, tucking your hair behind your ear. “Don’t let anyone ever make you think your feelings aren’t valid.” You pushed down the new wave of tears as you laid down beside Peter. You laid with your back to his chest. He scooted himself closed, wrapping his arms around your figure. You tucked your hands into yourself and let yourself cry, to feel all the things you’d been holding in. He gently ran his hand along your arm in a soothing, repetitive motion. Pressing soft kisses on the back of your neck. His touch making all your problems disappear.
#peter maximoff#quicksilver#personal story#evan peters#peter maximoff fluff#peter maximoff headcanon#peter maximoff x y/n#peter maximoff fanfiction#peter maximoff imagine#peter maximoff x you#peter maximoff x reader#quicksilver xmen x reader#xmen fanfiction#evan peters fanfiction#evan peters x reader#quicksilver xmen#marvel fanfiction
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CREEP 3: You're just like an angel
Pairing: Drake Walker x MC (Lexie O’Brien) Book TRR
Synopsis: Drake is a hurt, angry teenager. After being rejected by Lexie, he spends two years bullying her until he discovers the horrible truth behind her rejection.
MASTERLIST HERE
In this chapter: Lexie gets to know more about the boy hiding behind the monster.
A/N: This is Lexie’s POV. We’ll be in Drake’s head in the following chapter.
A/N 2: Thank you to my beautiful prereader @burnsoslow
Your suggestions made all the difference! LOVE YOUU ❤️
A/N 3: Thank you to @mskaneko for the edit that closes this fic. It’s gorgeous! I love youu ❤️
Words: 5,108 🙈
WARNINGS: Parental abuse, domestic violence, toxic love, abuse, bullying.
THIS IS NOT YOUR USUAL MARSHMALLOW DRAKE. He was abandoned as a boy, he’s tortured and he doesn’t know how to express love.
This is a dark love story. If you think this might trigger you, PLEASE do not read it.
ALL MY FICS ARE 18+
TAGS ON THE COMMENTS --As this is darker than usual; I’m only tagging the people who commented in the previous chapters. If you want to get on or off the list for this fic; please do not hesitate to ask!!
LEXIE
Watching Drake put my duffel bag on the back of his motorcycle, my pulse is getting out of control on my neck. This is happening. I’m leaving home. I’m getting out, and I’m never coming back. And Drake Walker, my tormentor, is helping me. He actually defended me. The fact that I’m being helped by the person who called me a future trophy wife this morning makes this moment even more surreal. He’s had this tormented expression on his face for the last half an hour that’s stupidly making me want to hug him or make him feel better. For what, though? I don’t know. I don’t owe him anything, and still, I have this pressing need to wrap my arms around his neck and tell him everything will be okay.
When it comes to Drake, my emotions have never been truly logical. One second I hate him, and the next, I’m whispering his name in the darkness of my room, my fingers sawing against the wet cotton of my panties. My feelings for him are incredibly confusing…but I know asking him to back off was the right move. Even if I secretly miss his presence everywhere I turn. In my unstable world, there was something comforting about knowing he would always be there. Watching me. Hating me. Wanting me. That last part was never in doubt. He’s made that clear many times. That if I wanted, he would “give me a nice long hate-fuck in the back of his trailer.” And he’d always say, “No one has to know, baby,” in that deep, hoarse tone that keeps me up at night. Makes me shove my fingers down the front of my panties and struggle to breathe, sweating through my covers to an orgasm. I’m having those particularly sexual thoughts when he looks over at me, and I don’t quite manage to hide my lust. His movements slow, a dark eyebrow arching as he fixes on my mouth, my breasts. I’m a real hot mess right now. Beaten and bloody, but there’s no denying he’s still attracted. It’s always there in the rise and fall of his chest, the clicking of his jaw. The tenting of his jeans. How many times have I turned in class and—avoiding his gaze—locked eyes with his jeans instead? At least that’s one thing us poor fuckers have going for us. We know how to fuck.
Well, if I thought sympathy was a strange emotion regarding this boy, jealousy is even more confusing. Why should I care that he’s been with other girls? Obviously, he must have been with hundreds of girls to get good at sex. It’s none of my business, is it? I’m almost rid of him. And I don’t want to be jealous. Still, when he holds out his hand to help me onto the bike, I ignore it with a raise of my chin and climb on myself. You’re almost rid of him, Lexie. Get a ride and say goodbye. Unfortunately, I may have been a little overenthusiastic in asking to be taken to a motel. I’ve never been to one, but I know a credit card is required—and I don’t have one of those. Nor do I have enough cash in my wallet for more than one night. I need to figure out an alternative plan fast. Still looking damned tortured, Drake places his helmet on my head and gently buckles the chinstrap. Swallowing loud enough to hear over the passing cars. Helmetless, he brings the engine to life, the vibration so exhilarating; I wrap my arms around his middle on reflex.
I can feel taking a deep breath. “Lexie…” He can’t see me, so I give in to the impulse to press my cheek to his leather jacket, absorbing the warmth and his smell, earthy and so masculine.
“Yes?” Drake clears his throat, his voice even more profound. “My dad left me a cabin a few towns over. Near Portavira lake.” He pauses. “It’s very rustic, but I’ve been fixing it, so it’s clean, and it has a bed and some supplies. I could take you there. You’d be safe.”
It’s dangerous to start accepting more favors from him, but what choice do I have? My father made sure that I’m helpless. He did it with my mother and now me. Isolated us from everyone who might be a friend. I’ll accept his offer, but only because here and now, I promise myself I’ll find a way to help myself in the future. To leave my father and his house of horrors in the past. Maybe it can’t be done entirely alone. Maybe accepting help is the only option. That doesn’t mean I’m forgetting the way he treated me. Yes, I’m attracted to him but I also hate him. He’s made my life miserable for two years and I won’t let him --or myself, forget that. Maybe he’s hiding right now but I know Drake--as my father, has a monster underneath. His monster might not slap me or make me bleed but that doesn’t mean he’s not dangerous. Poisonous words can hurt as much as one well-delivered blow.
“Okay,” I say, feeling him relax. “Thanks.” I’ll accept his help for now and leave as soon as I can.
He responds by turning on the engine of the bike again. That’s when I hear my father yelling my name from the back door of the house. His hands are tied behind his back, and he’s limping, blood coming out his nose.
“Alexis Jade O’Brien! You get your ass back here right now, or you’ll never be allowed back! You’ll be dead to me!”
He has to be joking; he’s been dead to me since the first time he hit me. I look back at the pathetic old man with every ounce of rebellion I have. Baring my teeth, I give him the middle finger and dismiss him. Forever.
“Good girl,” Drake murmurs a second before driving away. I don’t look back a single time. We drive for half an hour. After twenty minutes on the highway, the trees grow denser and denser, the road deserted. We don’t pass a single car on the way to the cabin, which comforts me when I should be worried. Shouldn’t I? I can’t allow the last two years of em2otional battle to mean nothing. To melt away in the face of tonight’s act of kindness. I meant what I said. I need Drake to leave me alone. To release the hold he has on me. I’ve cut one negative force out of my life tonight. The last thing I need is a replacement. But as I grow tired against his strong back, his woody and manly scent lulling me, encouraging the trust he doesn’t deserve, I worry leaving him might be easier said than done. Especially when we arrive at the cabin, and he lifts me off the bike, cradling me to his chest like I’m made of crystal, a moment too long before settling me onto my feet. It’s hard giving up his warmth, but I push off his chest, creating distance between us. He watches me back away like I’m breaking his heart.
“There is a shower inside,” he says quietly. “You can finally get the, uh…” He blows a breath. “…the blood off.” The sun sets as we stand there. It’s nothing like the light of the night we kissed. This time it's brighter, more intense. It must be the higher elevation.
“You’re not hurting anywhere else?”
“I’ll be fine.” Why is he breathing so fast? “What’s wrong, Drake?”
“What’s wrong?” He fights through a humorless laugh, sliding his hand through his hair. “Where do I start? Most urgent is…I know you’re going to want me to leave you here alone, and I don’t think I can. Look, if you want to lock the doors, I’ll sleep outside on the ground, Lexie, but please don’t ask me to go.”
He’s right. I was going to tell him it’s OK to go back to his trailer. There was a convenience store with a payphone a mile down the road. If there is no working phone in the cabin, I can still make calls, if necessary. I’m not sure what my next move will be, now that I’ve run away from home. But I know I’ll never be able to think with a clear head as long as Drake is around, looking at me like that. “Drake…”
“It’s just that once I leave, I know that’s it. You’re going to shut me out again. And this time, it’ll be your choice.” He paces away, still raking his fingers through his hair. “I deserve to be cut off. Fuck, I know that. Believe me when I say I hate myself right now, but if there was something I could do to make up the last two years to you, even just a little—”
I shake my head. Nothing can make up for the two years I spent loving him while he tortured me. There will be nothing between us.
“I understand.” His fingers rake his hair one last time. “You can go in the cabin. I’ll sleep outside; that way, I’ll be sure your—father won’t be back.”
Despite myself and my better judgment, I worry about him. “Outside? It’s cold and dark; I can go to a motel.” At least for one night, I’ll figure out what I’ll do after tomorrow.
“No way. Look, I won’t be able to sleep anyway. Just go inside and try to rest; I’ll be fine. I’m used to it.”
Used to what? Sleeping outside? “Isn’t there a couch or something?”
He shakes his head. “The cabin was in ruins until six months ago when I started working on it. There’s only one bed, but there’s a rug next to the fireplace. Please don’t leave. I—I need to know you’re safe.”
I know Drake would never abuse me physically. I might be naïve, but I just know he would never do it. And as much as it’s difficult for me to understand why I feel safe with him here. Still, I have to be smart, my instincts tell me to trust him, but my instincts have been wrong about him before.
“Does the room lock?”
“It does with a bolt that can’t be opened from outside. But you’re safe with me, Lexie. I swear.”
It’s his miserable look that makes me decide. “Okay, if it locks, I can stay here.”
We go inside, and he leads me to his room. When my bag hits the floor next to his bed, I get even more nervous. I just left everything I know behind me and have no idea what’s coming next. School will be over in a few weeks, but I can graduate earlier, thanks to my credits. I’ll need a job, save some money, get an apartment and apply for college in Cordonia. It’s overwhelming.
I don’t want to cry in front of Drake. I don’t want to show him I feel weak, sad, and pathetic, but something inside of me suddenly breaks, and before I can’t do anything to stop it, I’m sobbing.
Drake is sitting on the bed in a second, and he’s pulling me into his lap, trying to calm me down. “Shh Lexie, it’s okay. Cry all you need to. I’m here. It’s okay,” he repeats in a litany as he rubs my shoulders, kisses my cheek, then my nose. Why do I feel so safe with him? Why, after everything he put me through, do I want to be here with him more than anywhere else?
“Let it all out, Lex. You’re so strong, baby.” He takes a cloth handkerchief from his pocket and uses it to gently clean my tears. The piece of fabric seems so incongruous in his rough hands that I can’t help but smile a little.
“Is this yours?”
He shrugs. “My dad collected them. After he died, my mom gave all his stuff away. This handkerchief is the only thing I have left of him. And this cabin.”
“I’m sorry, Drake. I don’t want to ruin it.”
He smiles. “Ruin it? Impossible. If anything, now it's even more special to me.”
The softness in his eyes looks so sincere it scares the hell out of me. I can’t let myself forget who Drake really is. I stand up from his lap and put my bag on the bed.
“I’m really tired; I’d better go to bed.”
“Okay … can I just look at your wounds?” he asks as he inspects my face. “You have some nasty cuts,” he adds, his fist clenching.
When I nod, he takes my hand and leads me to his bathroom. The room is as simple and modest as expected. Block walls, no tiles on the floor, no curtain on the shower, and an old toilet. A million years away from the white marble bathrooms in my house.
He follows my gaze and blushes. “I’m sorry. This is not what you’re used to. I—uhm, I’m slowly putting it together when I have time and some money. I’m good with my hands.” I look at said hands, and there’s no doubt he’s good with them. They look big and calloused. Capable and rough but so gentle with me. I want them all around my body. As if he had listened to my silent demand, he grabs me by my waist and sits me on the counter next to the sink. My legs part on instinct, and he puts himself between them. We don’t talk for two long minutes until he opens the faucet and wets a towel.
“I just got the water running this week; Come on.” Gently --almost reverently, he washes and cleans every cut, every injury. Softly he brushes his thumbs over my face. He doesn’t speak as he does, but there’s a tension between us. A raw feeling that has always been there.
“Tell me about yourself,” I blurt out, desperate to break the moment.
“There’s not much to say. Sorry, Lexie!” he exclaims when I wince. “Does this hurt?”
“A little. I. need a distraction. Why do you live alone? I know your dad is –uhm, gone, but where’s your mom?”
“Gone too.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, Drake.”
“Don’t be. She was a bitch. She died in a car accident two years ago. She was living in Texas back then.”
“I don’t get it. Two years ago, you were here in Cordonia.”
“Yeah, she left me after my dad died. Took my sister and left me here. Reminded her too much of my dad, she said.”
I remember Jackson Walker. Everyone in Portavira does. He was Liam’s dad's bodyguard and died protecting him. But that was five years ago. If his mom left just after his passing, that means Drake has been living by himself since he’s thirteen years old. It can’t be.
Drake turns around and opens a box in the corner of the room. When he turns back, he’s holding a Band-Aid.
“I keep these around. Construction can get nasty sometimes. Come here, Lex.” He cups my chin with one of his big hands while he cleans a cut next to my eyebrow. His touch is leaving goosebumps all over my skin. I hate to be this affected by him.
I clear my throat to avoid the embarrassment of talking in a squeaky voice. “So, who were you living with?”
“No one. My aunt got custody when my mom left, but her husband didn’t want kids. He made her choose between him or me, so I’ve been living on my own since I’m thirteen.” My heart breaks then. Not only at the fact that he had to live by himself when he was still a child, but at the way he says it. Matter-of-factly. As if it was the most normal thing in the world that his mother, his aunt, and his uncle abandoned him. As horrible as my dad is, I’ve never had to fend for myself. And my mom loved me so much. If cancer hadn’t taken her away, she’d be here fighting for me. Drake has no one. I can’t help the tears glistening in my eyes. “Hey! Don’t cry, Lexie,” his thumb moves from my eyebrow to my cheek as he wipes the tears off my face. ”I prefer to live by myself than go to a foster house. And Leona checks on me now and then.”
“If your mom died, where’s your sister?”
He takes a deep breath but doesn’t pronounce a single word for a few minutes. Finally, he clears his throat and speaks. “Savvy was with my mom in the car. She died too.”
I want to say something. Anything. But I can’t. Nothing seems like enough. Sorry is such an empty word—a stupid cliché. I’m horrified at my own muteness, so I do the only thing I can think of. I hug him. At first, he just stands there, his arms hanging at his sides. But soon, I can feel him giving in, his heart beating hard against my chest. He encircles his arms around me, wrapping me in the tightest hug possible. I don’t know who’s comforting whom anymore. I only know that I love being here, and I hope it’s giving him a little solace, this hug.
It doesn’t mean I’ll forgive or even forget what he put me through, but no one deserves to go through that kind of pain alone.
“I’ll be outside, Lexie,” he says when he finally lets me go. “If you need anything, anything at all, just call for me, okay?”
“Wait!’ I yell, so he turns around. “Are you really going to sleep on the floor?”
He shrugs. “I don’t mind. I just want to make sure you’re safe,” he hesitates as if he’s going to add something important. “Good night, Lexie.”
“Wait,” I feel my cheeks redden just thinking about what I’m about to propose. “You can sleep here, I-I know you won’t hurt me.”
“Never,” he says, a determined look on his face. “I would never hurt you that way, and you have no idea how much I regret how I’ve treated you in the past. But I’ll be okay sleeping outside. I know you’ll feel better sleeping here by yourself.”
I can’t deny that. I meant what I said about trusting him not to hurt me, but I can’t forget what he did either. “At least take this pillow and the blanket. I’ll manage with the pillow and the cover left.” He hesitates, so I insist. “Please. I won’t be able to sleep otherwise.”
After taking them and giving me one of the saddest smiles I’ve ever seen, he closes the door behind him and leaves me alone in the room. I lie on his bed, incapable of sleeping. The pain in his eyes when he told me about his little sister haunts me all night long.
The following day I toss around in bed, confused and angry at myself. I can’t have feelings for Drake Walker. I can’t forget the insults or the anger in his eyes, the hurt that his words caused me every -single time. I just can’t. I hate what happened to him. I genuinely do, but iI have to think about myself. Denying that I’m attracted to him would be preposterous. Our chemistry is strong and undeniable, and it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. Maybe that’s it. Perhaps I just need one night with him, so I can move on with my life. Get him out of my system.
When I finally leave the bed, I find a note under my door: Went to buy some groceries, be back soon. DW
I go to the room where I assume he’s going to build the kitchen. For now, there’s only a more-than-a-few-years-old microwave and a cooler. I open the cabinets, but there’s barely anything there.
Suddenly, there’s a knock on the door. I feel my heart slamming in my chest; if it’s my father, I have no means of defending myself. I’m about to escape through the back door when a woman’s voice starts yelling.
“Open up, Drake. I’m not in the mood today.”
I open the door because the voice sounds familiar. I recognize Leona, the principal’s assistant. And I know she’s related to Drake.
Leona arches an eyebrow when she sees me. “Ms. O’Brien, what on earth are you in my nephew’s cabin? Does your father even know where you are?”
“I’m 18. I don’t have to tell my father where I am.” I answer in a much bolder tone than I feel.
She shrugs, clearly uninterested. “Well, I brought this to my nephew. Tell him I want those signed by next week. We’re not going to lose thousands of euros because of some dumb nostalgia.”
She hands me a big manila folder, I take it, but she doesn’t let go. “Maybe you’re the one who can convince him.”
“Convince him about what?”
“His father Jackson left him this piece of land, but it isn’t worth a dime without cattle or money to invest in it. But, a couple of months ago a big company approached us, they wanted to build a landfill here. Drake refuses to sell. He thinks he’s going to honor his dead father by rebuilding this old piece of crap, but he will never have the money to do it.”
“Never.” The deep voice that comes from the entrance startles us both. “This was my dad’s dream. He wanted a ranch, and one day this place will be one,” Drake says, “I told you already, Leona. I won’t sell; I don’t care how much they’re offering you to convince me.”
“I’ve never denied that they’re offering me a commission for the sale, Drake. But I still think it’s the best move for you.” Leona leaves the papers on the table, turns and leaves the cabin.
“You love this land?” I’m genuinely curious.
He slowly nods. “It’s all I have left of my dad. He’s the only person that ever gave two damns about me.”
“That says more about your family than about you, Drake.”
He looks directly at me. His gaze doesn’t leave mine for a long minute. I want to get closer to him, to touch him. Not only to offer some comfort but because my body reacts to him in the wildest way. Just standing next to him in the kitchen, I feel my heart beating faster, my hands trembling harder, my sex getting wetter. The response he gets from me is maddening. And it’s making me insane. There’s no freaking way in hell; I’m going to have feelings for Drake Walker.
“I- I need to take a shower. I’ll eat later.” Without giving him any time to respond, I run to the bathroom and shut the door. I open the shower and get inside, desperate for some release, anything that’ll take my mind off him. His stupid perfect smirk and deep eyes. That voice of his, intense, soft, and deep at the same time. Those big hands, calloused and capable. Hands that I just know would know precisely how to touch me. Before I realize it, I’m coming as quietly as I can. Sadly, my relief only lasts a few minutes, my body needs him --Drake Walker, and no substitute would do.
When I come out, he’s waiting for me with a hot cup of coffee and a couple of white chocolate-strawberry muffins---my favorite kind.
We eat in silence, but I don’t feel the weight of it as I usually do. Ours is a companionable silence.
After breakfast, we decide to take a hike next to the lake. A bit of exercise and the lake’s breathtaking landscape might be exactly what I need to stop thinking about my father and the confusing feelings I have for Drake.
“I think I need a job. Do you know how I can get one?” I hate that I’m so spoiled, but I’ve never lifted a finger in my life. I have no idea how I can get a job.
“Uhm sure. Here in Portavira?”
“Actually, I was thinking of moving to Cordonia city after graduation. “Drake stops walking for a second. “It’s too late to enroll for next semester, but I can get a job and start college next year.”
He finally starts walking again and nods slowly. “What do you want to do?”
I blush. My dreams don’t include being famous or rich. All I want is a good, quiet life. Falling in love, having a family. Doing a job I’d enjoy and traveling as much as possible -even if it’s on a low budget. “You’ll think it’s dumb.”
Drake looks at me. “I swear I won’t, Lexie. There’s nothing you can say that I’ll find dumb. It’s just not possible.”
“I love books. They offer you new worlds. They allow you to escape and be someone else for a few pages. You can never be alone when you’re reading a book. I’d love to have a job where I would be surrounded by books. Maybe become a librarian and then open a bookstore one day.”
Drake nods but doesn’t reply. I knew he would find my dream stupid.
“I know it’s not much-“
He stands in front of me and tilts my chin until our eyes meet. “It’s amazing, Lexie. I was just thinking how great you’d be at it. Remember the top 5 assignment for Mr. Daniels?”
Of course, I do. Mr. Daniels, our English teacher, asked us to make a list of our five favorite books and recommend them to the class.
I nod. “Yeah”
“Well, I read all the books on your list. I checked them out of the school’s library and fuck, I loved them all. Especially the one from that Krakauer guy.”
“Into the Wild?”
“Yep. I really enjoyed it. The way that guy Christopher reinvented himself spoke to me.” He holds my gaze. “You’d be an awesome librarian, Lex. You would also be an amazing writer. I remember that short story you wrote for Mr. Daniel’s class. The one about the lonely girl and how she traveled through time with her mind. You have no idea how much I loved it.”
I can’t believe he remembers that story. We had that assignment more than a year ago. “I’ve always wanted to write, but my dad thinks my stories aren’t good enough.”
“Your father is a dick. Your stories are amazing.”
He looks at me in a way that makes my knees weak. The intensity in his eyes is overwhelming, so I feel it again. The connection with him. The desire. Maybe the only way this would go away is if I give in to it.
“There is something you can do for me,” I say, surprising myself. As soon as those two words are out of my mouth, though, I know there is something I need from Drake.
And he’s the only one who can give it to me. “Get you out of my system.”
He stands still as a statue. “What?”
“Get yourself out of my system.” It starts to rain, and it makes me speak louder, feel bolder and freer. “For two years, you provoked me, insulted me, stalked me, bullied me…” He makes a frantic sound, his eyes slamming shut. “And yet, I still—I still can’t stop thinking of your hands that night in my garden. How big and warm and rough they were. I can’t stop imagining you taking off my clothes. Even the ugliest things you’ve said to me, I imagine you saying them in my ear while you…while we…”
Drake falls toward me a step, clutching the center of his chest. “Lexie—”
“Please, get yourself out of my head. One night together. Okay, Drake? So I can get on with my life knowing fantasy was way better than reality. That I built up some unrealistic idea of what we’d be like together that we can’t possibly live up to.” My throat closes. “Get me on the road to forgetting you. Please.” As we walk, I can see the mixture of devastation and hope in his eyes.
“And what if reality lives up to the fantasy?”
“It won’t,” I say fast, with conviction. It couldn’t possibly live up to it. And yet I suck in a nervous breath when he crosses the divide between us, every cell in my body craving him. Fight or flight. In a matter of moments, he’s gone from wounded animal to determined predator, the rain causing his dark hair to hang low over one eye, dripping, his hands ready at his sides.
“Are you so sure, Lexie?”
Damn my hesitation. “Yes,” I whisper. “You’ll prove me right in one night. I can move forward without feeling like I’m leaving something behind.”
“What if your fantasies come true tonight? Could we ever move forward as…as an us?”
I can’t believe what he’s suggesting. “There can never be an us, Drake. Not after everything that’s happened. I’ll never change my mind about that.” I shake my head. “How can you think I would?”
“Maybe I think if I want it hard enough, it’ll come true.”
“It won’t,” I whisper, starting to ask myself if I’m making a mistake. Opening myself up for even more heartache and pinning for this man than I’ve already lived through. It feels like a lifetime’s worth. “One n-night.”
“No backing out from this point on?” My heart beats urgently.
“No backing out.”
He’s silent so long; I’m not sure he’s going to respond. And then, all at once, he reaches me in two strides and scoops me up into his arms. I realize he’s going to bring me into the cabin, “I’ve been studying you for years, Lexie O’Brien. I’ve been hanging on to your every sigh, every expression, and mood. Years. If you don’t think I’ve obsessed weeks of my life away over how you’d like to be fucked, baby, you’re sorely mistaken.” We reach the house in a matter of minutes, and he doesn’t stop; he just keeps going until we’re in his room. And oh God, I have made a severe miscalculation. Because Drake’s showing me exactly what’s always been in my heart and mind when I thought of us together, it’s my fantasy come to life, the two of us wrapped in the arms of the other. And as he turns me, urging my legs around his waist, his ravenous mouth bearing down on mine, I realize I might never recover from this.
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hiii it’s anon with the abusive sister ! hope you’re having a nice day and doing okay ^,^
i survived the four days at my nan’s house, and thankfully my sister didn’t show up, but i also told my mum and my nan how much i’ve been affected by her abuse. i told them about my paranoia, my nightmares, anxiety over going to sleep, and about two of the triggers i knew they would understand (red cars and streets with only terraced houses on). it went pretty well, i think? i’ve been really tired ever since we left last week and my memories are a bit fuzzy thanks to the constant talking about my sister.
we go back down to my nan’s in september to look after her dog while she goes away with her friend for five days, but i’ll have lessons to do so i won’t be as ‘oo what if she’s there’ kinda thing. i’m still worried, since she’s still actively trying to ruin the lives of the people she’s abused (she’s trying to charge her ex, who’s like a brother to me, with stalking even though there’s proof he didn’t and she’s stalked him multiple times, scaring his daughter). i also have a website open on my phone for therapists, and there’s one that i’ve saved for when i finally ask my parents if i can go to therapy (which i think will be when we sell our car so we have some more money. another thing my sister did was make me money-conscious 24/7.) so uhh yeah ! i think i’m slowly recovering, like, very very very slowly, but progress is progress ! do you have any words of encouragement i can tell myself to keep reminding me that recovery isn’t easy but that i can do it? thank you so much :D
Hey again! Thank you :) I'm doing mostly okay, but life is really busy at the moment!
I'm glad talking to them about your trauma went well ❤️ it's normal to dissociate, be low on energy, and experience memory issues after opening up about your trauma, and I hope you were able to take things slowly for a few days afterwards and take care of yourself.
Hope September went well and she didn't show up! That's so horrible that she's tried so hard to hurt her ex :( I hope things turn out well for him and his daughter.
Ugh, being money-conscious because of abuse is horrible. I struggle with that too, but therapy has been so helpful that it's made it easier for me to believe I deserve it despite the cost. I really hope the same can become true for you as well.
Nonnie, I'm so, so proud of you for all the progress you've made. Recovery is a slow and complicated process, and it's completely normal to feel like you will never get to the other side. But so much of it will happen without you being consciously aware of it, and I promise there will be a day when you will look back and realise just how much calmer and in control of your life you feel.
Sending a big, big hug yor your way. I'm rooting for you! ❤️
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𝑴𝒂𝒇𝒊𝒂! 𝑨𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒛: 𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝑾𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝑰𝒔 𝑰𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝑨𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝑯𝒆𝒓 𝑷𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒏𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒚
Disclaimer: In no way am I condoning, supporting, justifying or encouraging mafia activities or lifestyle. This is all fictional and not meant to represent real life scenarios.
❅𝐾𝑖𝑚 𝐻𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑗𝑜𝑜𝑛𝑔
You huffed as you tried to zip up your dress but to no avail. It would not budge because of the baby bump that was growing. In one last attempt to zip it up, you actually ended up ripping the zipper, causing you to gasp in horror.
"Oh no." Your hand covered your mouth as you stared in shock at yourself in the mirror.
"Honey are you ready to go?" Hongjoong asked, as he came into the room.
Hongjoong noticed how you kept staring at your reflection in the mirror, immobile and not responding to him.
"Hey baby? What is it?" He came up behind you, his arms sliding down protectively around your stomach.
Unwillingly, you let out tears and started sobbing.
"I'm....fat." You whined as you wiped some tears off your face, effectively making some of your eye makeup smudge.
Hongjoong pouted and shook his head cutely at you.
"Baby no. You're not fat. You're carrying a baby, our baby. Our beautiful little bundle of joy that we created together and that I can't wait to bring into this world with you."
You smiled softly at his words. Placing a kiss to your cheek, he continued:
"You're absolutely beautiful love. And if I must admit, I think you look more lovely with the baby bump." He sent a wink to you through the mirror, causing you to burst out giggling.
"Tell you what? Let's skip the dinner date and just stay home and cuddle. Ok?"
❅𝑃𝑎𝑟𝑘 𝑆𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑔ℎ𝑤𝑎
Sitting on your bed, waiting for Seonghwa to come out of the bathroom, you kept replaying your mother in law's words in your head.
"I remember when I gave birth to Seonghwa. He came a little earlier than expected while his father was away on a business trip. So I had to go through the birth process all alone. You can imagine how scared I was."
Her story shook you to your core. Seonghwa often had to go away. What if the same thing happened to you? What if he misses the birth of your child? And you had to endure all of it alone?
You were so immersed in your worries, you failed to notice that Seonghwa was standing next to you and were woken up when his hand touched your shoulder.
"What is it my dear?" He asked, knowing something was troubling you.
"I don't want to go through this by myself..." You admitted, one of your hands going to your bump to get your point across.
Seonghwa understood what you were talking about, the way you kept quiet and became pensive when his mom told her story did not go unnoticed by him. Seonghwa kneeled in front of you. Taking your hands in his, he promised you:
"And you won't. I'm not going to leave you or our child alone during this time. My father missed my birth and it's something that he regrets to this day. I don't want to do the same. I want to be there for you and our baby. I'm going to be there every step of the way. I promise."
Leaning in, he sealed his promise with a kiss, and you were now much calmer with his reassuring words.
❅𝐽𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑌𝑢𝑛ℎ𝑜
You took a deep breath as soon as you stepped inside the house, relieved to finally be back in the comfort of your own home. It's not that you hated your in laws, but to have them constantly tell you how to take care of their future grandson, because apparently you don't know what you're doing, irritated you.
If you were honest, at times you felt like they just saw you as an incubator instead of what you really were: Yunho's wife and mother of his child. It was horrible.
You went to the kitchen and decided to prepare yourself a little snack. You opted for something on the spicier side since you were craving it really badly. Right at that moment, Yunho came in and when he saw what you were eating he quickly took it away.
"Hey!" You exclaimed, trying to get your food back.
"You can't eat spicy food. Mom said it increases the risk of a miscarriage. " Yunho said while holding the plate high above your head.
"No it doesn't! Now give it back." You desperately tried to jump and take it away from him.
"Y/N stop doing that. It could hurt the baby or-"
"Oh for fuck's sake Yunho will you shut up and stop repeating everything your parents say?! I'm sick and tired of them basically tell me I'm not a good mother. I already feel shitty enough as it is with the mood swings and pregnancy pains, and I don't need you or anyone else making me feel worse than I already do!"
You finally snapped. You turned around and began crying tears of pain, fear, rage and frustration. Yunho felt horrible. He realized now he should have protected you more but he didn't. Carefully, he hugged you from behind.
"Baby, you're doing an amazing job. You'll see, you're going to be the best mom in the whole world. I'm proud of you. And.... I'm sorry about my parents. I promise I won't let them have a say in how we raise our baby anymore. Ok?"
He turned you around and began wiping your tears away.
"Don't cry anymore love. I hate to see you cry. Could you please smile for me?"
❅𝐾𝑎𝑛𝑔 𝑌𝑒𝑜𝑠𝑎𝑛𝑔
It was already difficult for Yeosang and you to get pregnant. You spent almost 3 years trying, about to give up hope, when it finally happened. You were pregnant and Yeosang was elated with the news.
Although you and him were extremely careful, being your first child and everything, you still felt uneasy at times. It didn't help when you went to visit your family and ended up finding out all of your aunts have had at least 1 miscarriage before.
"Don't be so surprised dear. All women in our family have had a miscarriage."
You looked over at your own mother, who unfortunately had to confirm their allegations and tell you about the older sister you were supposed to have.
Since then you became paranoid. It was already a struggle to get pregnant, what if you were to actually lose the baby. One night, you had a terrible nightmare that had you shaking and bawling your eyes out. It was so intense, Yeosang had to wake you up and hold you for 10 minutes until you calmed down.
You then told him about what your aunts said, about your dream and your fear of something happening to your baby. Although Yeosang was scared as well, he had to be strong for both of you.
"Honey, please don't think such things. So far we've been very careful about this and the doctor says everything is fine. If you worry too much about this, it could be harmful."
"I know, I know Yeosang.....but what if I do have a miscarriage? What will we do then? How do we know we won't have one?" You asked him.
Yeosang held back the tears threatening to spill out. He refused to imagine that scenario in his head.
"We don't know Y/N, no one ever knows these things....but I do know that I love you and our baby. And I know we're doing our best. I can't promise you that nothing will happen....but whatever happens, I want you to know you're not alone. I'm here with you, by your side and we're going to get through all this together. No matter what comes."
Yeosang kissed your forehead reassuringly. Although he was scared, he had hope that both of you would be able to bring your baby into this world safely and unharmed.
❅𝐶ℎ𝑜𝑖 𝑆𝑎𝑛
You immediately turned off the TV. You internally cursed yourself for watching another drama therapist show. You usually rolled your eyes when it turnt out someone cheated on their spouse, but this recent one made you paranoid. Because the husband had cheated on his pregnant wife because 'he had needs she couldn't fulfill'.
It got you paranoid. You immediately started wondering if San would ever cheat on you, that is if he hadn't already. It had been 5 months since you last had sex. For all you knew, he could be seeing someone else. As if on cue, San walked into the house.
"Hi honey. How's my lovely-"
"Who are you seeing?" You immediately accused him.
San looked at you as if you were crazy.
"What are you talking about?" He asked, genuinely confused.
"Don't lie to me! Who are you cheating on me with?" Maybe you were jumping to conclusions too hastily, but you were so anxious to think rationally.
"Who am I cheating on you with? What has gotten into you woman?" San could not believe what he was hearing.
That's when you broke down and confessed rather embarrassingly the whole situation. San listened to you patiently, without judgment and you felt worse.
"I'm sorry." You apologized.
"Baby it's fine, I get why you'd get worried, but trust me. I'm not some asshole that's going to cheat on my wife, who by the way is carrying my child. I mean seriously, who does that?" San actually cringed at the thought, making you laugh a little.
"Baby I love you and only you. And why would I want anyone else when I'm lucky enough to have all this?" San smiled as he pulled you close to him.
"So you still find me attractive?" You asked with doe eyes.
San chuckled.
"Baby I think you're the most beautiful person in the world. And besides....."
Carefully, he picked you up and began taking you to your bedroom.
"Who says we can't make love while you're pregnant?"
❅𝑆𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑀𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑖
Mingi came into the house all happy. Wanting to surprise you with a date in a fancy restaurant, he waltzed into the room and hugged you tightly.
"Hi love!" He screeched loudly as he pecked your lips.
"And hello to you as well." He gently rubbed your belly, cooing softly.
He looked back at you, noticing that you loved out of sorts.
"Is something wrong?" He asked.
"I'm just not in a good mood." You replied, your voice had a cold tone to it.
Mingi smiled. "Perfect! I know just how to cheer you up! I made reservations for a date! So why don't you make yourself look even more beautiful so we can go?"
"I don't want to." You said, sitting on the bed.
Mingi pouted at you.
"But baby. I really want to take you and our baby out. So please-"
"No Mingi! I told you, I'm not in a good mood! I'm cranky and this pregnancy is killing me, I'm sore all over my body and I'm carrying an extra 40 pounds that I'm not used to and it's all your fault!"
Mingi stood there, shook at your sudden outburst.
"My fault?"
"Yes! You were the one who wanted to have a baby, it was your idea yet you're not the one having to go through all this! It's me! You selfish idiot!" You crossed your arms and glared at him.
Usually Mingi would have been hurt by your words, but after months of dealing with your raging hormones, he knew you didn't actually mean what you said. Sitting next to you, he wrapped an arm around you.
"Come on Y/N, you know you don't mean that..."
Chuckling, he teased:
"And if I remember correctly, you were thrilled and wanted to immediately start trying when I brought up the idea of having a baby."
You poked your bottom lip out in annoyance, not wanting to admit he was right. Mingi laughed softly and kissed your pouty lips.
"Did you know you're even more adorable when you get all feisty and angry?" He said as he pinched your cheeks.
"Stop." You swatted his arm away, unable to contain the smile that soon spread on your face.
Mingi may be your annoying husband at times, but he always knew how to make you soft.
❅𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔 𝑊𝑜𝑜𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑔
"Must you go?"
You held onto Wooyoung's arm, refusing to let him go.
"I'm sorry about canceling movie night darling, but it's important and the guys need me."
Wooyoung sighed as he put on his jacket and began loading his revolver.
"It's not that it's just..."
You stopped yourself and looked down. Wooyoung stopped what he was doing and caressed your arms.
"What is it babe?" He urged you to tell him.
You looked at him and told him:
"I'm scared ok? You've been doing this for years, but now I'm scared. Scared of something happening to you...or someone breaking in and hurting me or our baby..."
You couldn't form any more words, getting choked up with your emotions. You began thinking about all the worst case scenarios that could possibly happen. For all you knew, you could end up being a young widow and single mother for the rest of your life.
Wooyoung pulled you against him, his hand stroking your hair. That was all it took for you to start crying as you held onto him like your life or his depended on it.
"Sweetheart, I promised I'd protect you and I'm not breaking my promise. Nothing will happen to you or our child." He whispered softly.
"What about you? What if something happens to you while on a mission?"
Wooyoung actually let out a laugh at that.
"Babygirl, nothing can kill me. I'm practically bulletproof."
You hit his chest.
"What? It's true. Come on Y/N. I'm not about to let anything happen to me. I need to stay alive to be there and hold our precious daughter when she arrives."
You rolled your eyes.
"We don't know if it's a girl yet-"
"She's a girl! And that's final! We're having a girl!" He exclaimed, refusing to believe he was wrong.
❅𝐶ℎ𝑜𝑖 𝐽𝑜𝑛𝑔ℎ𝑜
"What's on your mind honey bunch?"
Jongho knew you well enough to know something was troubling you.
"Do you think this was a good idea?" You asked him.
"Ordering food from this place? Definitely not. This is why I say we don't try new places." Jongho let out a tiny 'bleh' when he tried something that was a little too spicy for his liking.
"No....I mean...the baby."
Jongho dropped his fork and looked at you in shock.
"You're....you're not actually regretting this..are you?" He was afraid to hear your answer.
"No, not the baby .... but me." You said.
"You? Why?" Jongho got up and went immediately went to your side.
"I mean....what if I end up being a bad mother? What if I don't know what to do? I'm scared Jongho." You looked at him, face full of worry.
"Pumpkin, listen. I'm scared too. I mean.... it is our first time."
You both chuckled at that .
"But the thing is, we're both going to try our best to give our baby a good life and to protect it as best we can. And I can assure you that I think you'll be a wonderful mother."
Your eyes lit up at his comment.
"You really think so?"
Jongho nodded and pulled you onto his lap.
"I do. I mean, you take good care of Mingi. I'd say you already know the basics of taking care of a baby." He snorted.
You laughed despite not wanting to.
"You're so mean to him!"
"If you want extra practice, I can ask him to come."
Gifs not mine. Credit goes to their respective owners.
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