#ikea is actually sick

[eggmeralda]

what's that post about feeling so bad and hating everyone and just being in an awful state I can't remember what it said specifically, but then you eat something and everything's fine. anyway me

[hadersversion]

yet another drabble about dad!logan because i’m watching the wolverine and love sick over this man!

obviously logan is a girl dad…as we seen many many many times. i can definitely see him wanting a BIG family, once you got him started and he’s seen you pregnant with HIS child? oh, that motherfucker will BECOME a mother fucker. he’s like a rabbit with you, constantly on you.

the one thing i keep picturing is the two of you setting up the nursery together. he obviously did the heavy lifting and painting, which cause a fight between the two of you constantly. “im pregnant, lo. i can do somethings, ya know?” “i know, bub, why don’t ya set up the library while i finish putting the dresser together?” it’s all about compromise…in some way? but the two of you spend hours in there together, trying your hardest not to lose your mind over ikea’s confusing directions and the missing screw that fell somewhere in the room. logan is trying not to lose his cool in front of you, mumbling under his breathe. but you know once you leave the room, he shouts swears and knocks the boxes over. it makes you laugh as you grab waters in the kitchen. but once the nursery is done, you two are so exhausted you fall asleep on the floor using the baby’s new pillows. though it was sort of uncomfortable, you two felt content knowing that the room was done and your baby would be here soon.

but your first kid is a girl, his heart swells when he sees you holding this perfect bundle of joy that’s a perfect combination of the two of you. but you swear a tear leaves his eye when that beautiful baby girl opens her eyes and they look exactly like yours…logan never had a favorite color before until he looked into your eyes. and now he gets to see it even more through your daughter. you knew logan was protective over you, that was a given. especially since you were pregnant but once the second his daughter came into the world, you could’ve swore he took over the role of mama bear. he would hover over ANYONE that touched them, made sure they washed and sanitized their hands multiple times, he would even ask people if they were feeling sick before they even entered the room. you had to convince him people didn’t need to wear a mask and gloves in the hospital room. but once the team met baby wolvie, he felt at ease. a little prideful showing off your guys’ daughter, actually showing off his smile to show just how happy he is.

he’s definitely going 10 mph on the drive home, cursing under his breathe at people beeping and swerving around him, not wanting to yell in front of the baby. “logan, you can speed up a little bit. she’s not going to fly out of her car seat.” “stop being a backseat driver, would ya hun? i got this.” “whatever you say old man.”

the first night was obviously tough with the baby crying and making a fuss over everything. you cried, logan held you, you both were frustrated and upset. it was tough, you knew it wasn’t easy but holy hell this was shit. but you had that support system, the man you loved helping and comforting you. but once that sweet baby girl settled in your arms and finally slept longer for an hour, you both gave each other a tired smile as he kissed your head. “you’re glowing, mama. absolutely gorgeous.” “shut up, i know i look like shit.” “shut the hell up, why would you say that?” “because you look like shit, papa.” you both laugh and pass out on the couch, receiving the best sleep ever in each others arms. until the baby monitor goes off less than two hours later.

🎀🦢💓kaila🎀🦢💓

[woso-dreamzzz]

Shots III

Magdalena Eriksson x Child!Reader

Fridolina Rolfö x Child!Reader

Part of The Big Adventures Universe

Summary: You need a flu shot

"So they just jab it in?" Frido asks over dinner, mouth open and eyes wide.

"Yeah," Magda says, nodding furiously," Needle out and just jabbed in." She demonstrates with her hand. "It's the worst. It hurts her super bad."

"That's awful. You'd think they'd find a pain-free version to deliver vaccines. But she's all caught up, right?"

Magda shakes her head. "I forgot to take her to get her flu shot before we left Germany. Pernille's so mad at me."

"But we're only in camp, right? There's no way she's going to sick. I mean-"

Frido's cut off by a loud sneeze from Filippa followed by a brutal round of coughing.

"Pernille's going to kill you."

Magda groans, burying her head in her hands. "I've arranged with the team doctors to give Princesse her shot here."

"But..." Frido frowns. "She won't like it here anymore if we make her get shots!"

"I think that's Pernille's plan," Magda replies," If we give Princesse shots here then she'll stop wanting to come. It's genius."

"It's rude."

"Still genius though."

Frido sighs loudly, shaking her head. "I can't believe you put us in this position, Magda! Why couldn't you have just taken her to get her shot in Germany?"

"It slipped my mind!"

"Well now she's going to slip away from Sweden!" Frido continues," We can't let her start going back to Denmark! She'll want to play for their team soon enough! We can't lose her!"

"I know!" Magda replies," But I also don't want to lose Princesse privileges and that will definitely happen if we don't take her to get her shot."

"This is awful," Frido bemoans," I can't believe it's come to this."

Zećira, who had been silent through the entire conversation, sighs. "You're so dramatic."

Dramatic or not, Magda is forced to take you to get your flu shot. Pernille might actually kill her if she doesn't and Frido tags along for the ride, supposedly to remind you of all the great things Sweden has that Denmark hasn't like IKEA and Zećira.

"I know Zećira is here," You tell Frido as Magda leads you into the doctor's office," She's always here."

"I know," Frido says," But just remember how much you like being taught by Zećira."

"I know that!" You say, cheeks puffed out in annoyance," You're being weird!"

Before Frido can defend herself though, Magda hauls you up onto the little bed set up in the room.

"So," The nice doctor man says," Just a flu shot, is that right?"

"That's right."

"Morsa forgot to take me when we were in Germany," You tell him, much to Magda's embarrassment," Momma yelled at her for ages and ages and ages and ages-"

"She's never had a reaction to them before?" The doctor asks Magda.

"-And ages and ages and ages-"

"No reactions," Magda confirms, feeling a sense of nausea creeping in," She's always been fine with them."

"-And ages and ages!" You finish," And Morsa had to sleep on the sofa and I took her space in the Big Bed!"

The nice doctor man smiles at you. "That sounds cool." He wheels himself closer. "Can you open your mouth for me, please?"

You do as you're told and he inspects your throat before moving his hands to check your neck hasn't swelled up. He checks your temperature too and whatever he finds satisfies him because he wheels away to get the medicine Morsa said you were getting given today.

Frido has to hold her breath. it's been a long time since she's had to have any shots herself. She's forgotten what they look like.

Tears already start building in her eyes as the doctor brings out the syringe, uncapping the top.

It doesn't look sharp. In fact it doesn't look like any needle Frido's ever seen before and that makes it so much worse.

It doesn't look like it would easily go into skin so it's definitely going to hurt you a lot.

She sucks in a ragged gasp for air before holding her breath again.

"Have you ever had this done before?" The nice doctor man asks and you nod your head.

"Momma took me last year!"

"And did it look like this?"

You study it for a moment. "Uh-huh."

"Well, it looks like you're a pro. You ready?"

"Yes."

To Frido and Magda's horror, he positions the syringe in your nose, releasing the vaccine quickly before turning to do the same with your other nostril.

"I...I think I feel sick," Frido says, clutching her tummy.

She doesn't know why you're not crying. It must have hurt much more to have the needle jabbed into your nose twice.

She had no idea doctors were working out ways to make kids hate having shots even more.

"All done!" The doctor says," Would you like a sticker?"

"Yes, please!"

You choose a sticker with a kitten on it, slamming it straight onto your shirt before jumping down from the bed.

Frido and Magda are still clutching each other, traumatised from what they've just witnessed.

You frown. "You're both being weird. It was just a spray."

Magda freezes. "Huh?"

"I makes my nose all tingly but I'm fine!" You give them both a beaming smile.

"A spray?"

"Yes," The doctor says," We've started to move away from giving young children actually injections to help against flu. The nasal spray is much more effective...and painless."

[whotfelsewantedtobelynnyx]

Of all the theories as to how Carmilla and her daughters found eachother in Hell (adoption, reuniting after they died, one or all three being Hellborn, ect;), I think my personal favorite is the one where Carmilla was either pregnant when she died or later gave birth to a child she miscarried when she was alive.

But whether or not that’s true, one of my favorite crack theories/headcanons about Carmilla being pregnant in Hell is how absolutely weird the other Overlords would be about it- because let’s be real, they would absolutely be weird about it. Maybe supportive and weird, but weird.

Zestial, nervously following Carmilla around: My darling. My own heart. I beg of thou, please, for just a moment.

Carmilla, still stubbornly walking around in her ridiculously sharp shoes: I’M FINE.

Zestial, who’s been trying to get her to sit down or at least change her shoes for over an hour: 0,_0

Rosie, crouched at her side with a glass of something red and questionable: I’m telling you, honey, just try this. It’ll cure that morning sickness in a jiffy.

Carmilla, curled up on her bathroom floor: …it disturbs me that I’m nauseous enough to actually be considering this.

Zestial comes to her rescue and shoos Rosie out to go make her some (GINGER) tea before Carmilla can do something she’ll regret.

Alastor, gazing suspiciously: Why on earth is your abdomen moving like that? Is something trying to break out?

Carmilla, too exhausted to deal with this: That movement is my baby kicking, Alastor.

Alastor: Pardon? You mean to tell me that one can see that on the outside? Eugh.

Carmilla, glaring at him: You are so lucky you’re not worth getting up for.

- Rosie insists on throwing her a baby shower. Vox and Alastor get kicked out for fighting and are forced to put together the IKEA furniture for the nursery as punishment.

- I seriously doubt this lot can build and work an ultrasound machine, so something like this is likely.

Carmilla, slowly coming to after giving birth: Mmmh…?

Rosie, happily bouncing one baby in her arms: Oh good, she’s up! Congratulations, sweetie. You have two beautiful daughters 🥰

Carmilla: ….

Zestial, who’s gently cradling the other: Carmilla…? Is something the matter?

Carmilla: …there’s really two of them. I thought I was hallucinating.

BONUS:

Fun fact- some scientists say cats have sensitive enough hearing that they can hear babies’ heartbeats within their mother’s bodies.

Husk, staring at Carmilla:

Carmilla, who’s still processing that she’s pregnant and hasn’t begun telling anyone else: …is something wrong?

Husk, ears bristling slightly: h o w m a n y h e a r t s d o y o u h a v e ?

[darkbluekies]

What kind of partner will Dr kry be if darling were dating him?

Dr Kry headcanon: as a boyfriend

Doctor!yandere x reader

Warnings: mentions of sexual themes, yandere behaviors, making murders look like suicides, isolation, drugging

Dr Kry is a very cold, modest man who doesn't like much small talk, or people in general, and everyone around would say that they don't fully know him since he doesn't like to talk about himself or anything else besides his job.

To you, he's a completely different man — he would talk for a whole good ten minutes about the weather, if only to start up a conversation with you.

However, behind that, he's a violent man who doesn't have anything against killing for you. People die every day, so what's the difference? Although, he never wants you to see him like that, he tries to make his murders look like suicides.

He's professional, so it would take a long time for him to be able to have you in the way he fully wants, but when the timing was right, he would move you from the hospital to his villah in the woods.

As a boyfriend, Dr Kry is just as controlling as he is your doctor — always treating you like you need help — but he's also a bit softer since he doesn't have to hold up a facade.

He is not a big fan of physical contact since it invades his personal space and can contain germs, but he can let go of most of his reluctance for you.

He will not let you leave the house and will continue to keep you somewhat drugged, just to make sure that you never try to leave, because Kry has the only antidote to his selfmade poison and he has made sure that you know that.

You'll spend a lot of time in your shared bed in the bedroom upstairs, so Dr Kry makes sure to get the best sheets, blankets, and pillows so that you'll have a comfy time (of course he'll get them at IKEA)

As a boyfriend, he is quite jealous, but not in a "you’re-going-to-take-my-partner-away-from-me" type, but in a "you’re-not-going-to-take-them-away-from-me-type", but he will get rid off people if they ever try to — how clean or messy depends on what they dared to do.

If you cry, he will sit beside you and wipe your tears, building up courage to give you a hug — he so desperately wants to, but it's unnatural for him, so it takes a bit of time — while whispering how much he hates to see you cry.

He's not a very needy person; he sees sex more as a form of reproduction rather than an enjoyable act, but he will always be down to have it if you suggest it, because the closeness he feels is one of the few human contacts he actually loves — he is with you in a way neither his words or his actions could ever describe.

If you argue (which I think would happen quite often with his stubborn personality) he would never blame you, never ever; how could he? You're sick, you don't know any better. It's his fault for even bringing something up.

Loves in-house dates!!! Movie nights, baking, cooking, reading together, gardening, picnicking in the garden, maybe even taking the few steps down to the lake to go on his motorboat.

In conclusion: Dr Kry is a very nonsocial yandere who goes out of his comfort zone to make you his special someone♡

[drowning-rat37]

☆ Mia/pvr9ing harm reduction and after care ☆

☆ps.- this is not tips on “how to do it better”, this is tips on how to not hurt your body too much while doing it. I am in no way suggesting anyone starts doing it, i am just saying if you are already doing it, try to stay safe❤️❤️❤️

☆anti-acids: if you’re planning to pvr9e, take a couple before you eat, it’ll reduce the acidity of your stomach acid, which in turn reduces the level of enamel loss and tooth decay as well as reducing the trauma on your oesophagus from the acid

☆short nails: if you use your fingers, keep your nails short to prevent scratching/cvtting your throat. Having short nails is also more hygienic as (even if you keep your nails clean) the underside of your nails can carry a lot of bacteria, (this is mainly found in children but has been known in adults) can carry types of worms under the nails. If you have long nails or false nails i recommend going on the utensil route

☆hand sanitizers or antibacterial soap: if you’re adamant that you don’t want to cut your nails short, clean under your nails thoroughly with hand sanitizer and wash ALL OF YOUR HANDS with antibacterial soap to avoid getting ill. Another thing to address about getting ill: you may think “if i get ill/sick then I won’t eat as much” or “i’ll be throwing up so no need for pvr9ing” in theory, great. In reality, it feels awful. I used to think that sort of way and then ever time i got ill i would feel like actual death, just stay clean and hygienic please🙏🙏🙏

☆water: after pvr9ing your body gets extremely dehydrated, make sure to drink enough water, also I recommend alkali water to reduce acid reflux. Take small sips every couple of minutes as to not make yourself feel more nauseous than you probably already are!!!

☆electrolytes: if possible, get yourself a drink with electrolytes or you can also get sachets that are sugar free and put that in water. In another post (i think i tagged it as an update post to a different post i have put a picture of some electrolyte water i bought, i really like that brand)

☆warnings: bl00d, feeling like you’re about to pass out, legs shaking, hands shaking. If you see any of those signs, take a break or stop all together, I’ll get into each signs in detail in a second.

☆utensils: if you’re not using your fingers, keep your utensils clean, weather its a toothbrush or cutlery or something different. Also please use something you know you can easily hold onto to prevent choking on it or letting go of it. If you’re using cutlery, find plastic cutlery, im not talking about the cheap flimsy ones, im talking about the thick type you can get from ikea or other places, make sure it’s rounded in the side you are putting in your mouth, again to not cause trauma to your throat. I can not stress this enough: use👏 something 👏 you👏 can👏 easily 👏 hold👏 on👏 to

☆tools: this is a follow up from the utensil. Please try not to use medication or other methods to induce vomiting, it is extremely dangerous. I have seen a lot of people (specifically on a certain clock app) talking about putting large amounts of salt in water and drinking it to induce vomiting, i can not stress this enough DO NOT DO THAT, it is so incredibly dangerous and by far the most unpleasant way to pvr9e. This is coming from someone who has tried almost ever way, including the salt method. It can cause long term health issues to consume that much salt even if you vomit it back up, there will still be a large amount left in your system which can lead to high blood pressure (which if you are pvr9ing often may already have) and generally if you are going to that extent to pvr9e, take a break from doing it, even if it is hard!!!!

☆food/chewing: make sure that what you’re eating before you pvr9e you chew really well, if you swallow large chunks, it will be hard to get up and you have a chance of choking and it will not be good and is very scary. Bread is especially hard to get up. Some foods should definitely be avoided, such as hard crunchy foods like tortilla chips/crisps, they are sharp once broken and in the time it takes for you to eat, then pvr9e, your body will not have broken it down enough and it WILL hurt coming back up. Try to stick to soft or quickly digest-able foods to avoid pain and trauma to the throat.

☆follow on to the warning signs ☆

☆Bl00d: if you pvr9e bl00d, genuinely stop, i know you might not want to but to avoid damage, stop. If it is anything above a few drops, I greatly suggest seeking medical attention asap. Give yourself a week or two to recover from that, it will be hard but it’s whats best for harm reduction!!!!(this is a very scary thing to experience, the first time it happened i was terrified however as you can see, i am alive, i didnt die although that still doesn’t mean you should just ignore it)

☆feeling like you’re about to pass out/ hands and legs shaking: believe me, you do not want to be found on the floor after pvr9ing. If you’re shaking, take a break, weather its 10 minutes or a couple days, take a break. If you feel shaky, that is a sign you are going to pass out, again, take a break. Sit down in a place you know you won’t hurt yourself if you do pass out, have a drink and rest for a moment!!! I know you don’t want to hear the “listen to your body bull shit” but in cases like this it is vital if you are genuinely trying to avoid permanent damage or injuries of any kind!

☆Thank you for reading, stay safe. My dm’s are open if you need help or advice. If you need to reach out to your local helpline don’t hesitate, you’re weak for reaching out for help!!! ☆

@mamabearwonders

[pookietv]

moving in | george clarke

i love the idea of moving in with someone so :,)

four years into your relationship, you had decided it was time: between the two of you, you were a little sick of the lack of privacy in your relationship, despite the hilarity of kissing in the kitchen for a second and the awkward moment of arthur hill walking in on you, or being in your flat and falling asleep on the sofa together to the amusement of your flatmates, you figured it had been long enough now. so you were moving in together.

and you were so sure it was going to go smoothly...

until you actually had to move in, that was - between a sea of cardboard boxes that made no sense to you, making george carry everything (because what's the point of having a man around if not for manual labour?) and slight confusion of what furniture still needed to be ordered, you had decided that george could be left to try and build a tv stand in the front room whilst you tackled the bedroom.

however, what you had failed to realise is how awful you were at building flatpack furniture from ikea yourself, the double bed frame you were trying to build still laying in pieces on the floor like it was half an hour ago, your hands fiddling with screws and a feeble attempt to read the instructions for what seemed like the 100th time, so engrossed in your efforts that you barely heard george come into the room.

"need a handyman?" he teased, and you groaned jokingly as you looked up and turned your body slightly to face him.

"turns out i'm useless, george, i cannot even build the bedframe," you laughed to yourself, and he grinned and poked you slightly, asking you to move along.

"well, if you like, i can finish, or... you know, start, to build the bed if you start sorting out the clothes in the cupboard? you can manage that, right?" he said cheekily, and it was your turn to nudge him with a slight smile in return.

"okay, fine, you can live out your handyman dreams and i'll start on clothes," you smiled back, standing up to go to one of the many other brown boxes, opening one that george had packed, and beginning to get to work, folding jeans into draws and hanging up jumpers and t-shirts into an organised section for him in the wardrobe, occasionally looking back at george, who had made more progress on the bed frame in ten minutes then you had made in half an hour, and you had to admit that you were staring at him a little, 'cause he just made something as simple as building flatpack furniture look good.

when you got near to the bottom of the second box of georges clothes, you found a shoebox labelled 'sentimental' and giggled to yourself, causing george's head to turn and look at you.

"what's so funny?" he asked, as you smiled and pulled it out, showing it to him.

"what's hidden in here?" you asked with a grin playing on his face, and his face went slightly red, though he shrugged and tried to act nonchalantly.

"just old pictures and stuff, i don't know," he said, turning his attention back to the building in front of him in hopes his face would go a little less red.

you sat down cross legged next to him, putting the box in front of you, "can i look?" you asked with a hopeful head tilt, and he groaned a little and agreed.

so when you opened the box to what was practically a memorial for everything to do with your relationship, you looked back up at him with the biggest smile, lightly pushing his shoulder.

"george! you soppy boy," you grinned as you pulled out pictures of you guys from both when you started dating to recently, an old cinema ticket, a small lego man you had given him after making it at the lego factory after telling him very convincingly that it looked just like him, a small note you wrote him explaining why you had to leave his flat early one morning, and a collection of many other things.

his face was still a little red as he looked up, but he was grinning before he shrugged again, "just felt like i should keep that stuff, i like having it all in one place,"

at the bottom of the box, there was a small velvet bag, a black one, and you pulled it out with a quizzical look.

"what's this?" you asked curiously, and george's eyes widening with an even more bashful look made you giggle.

you opened it slightly, tipping it out into your hand to see a small pendant necklace, with a small golden sun at the bottom of it, and you look back up to george, your eyebrows slightly scrunched up.

"i, um... got it a little bit ago, never really knew when to give it to you, i just saw it and thought it looked pretty, and i thought it would look nice on you, then i just felt a bit awkward every time i was going to give it to you,"

a slight warmth spread through you, and your bottom lip stuck out slightly at the adorable gesture, "well, seems like the right awkward moment is now?" you laughed slightly, and he nodded.

"well, it's not a candlelit dinner but it'll have to do, right?" he joked back, and you nodded. "do you like it?" he asked, and you nodded.

"it's really pretty, george," you looked back down at the small pendant in your hand before looking back up at him, "can i put it on?" you asked, and he smiled with a nod.

"well, that's what necklaces are for, right?" he grinned.

"well, does it come with a lifetime commitment to building ikea furniture?" you laughed back, and he mockingly pretended to be thinking for a while before looking back at you with a feigned look of reluctant agreement.

"well, i suppose so, i mean god forbid if i had let you build the bed," he teased, "i have the fear the bed would collapse the second we got in it if i had left you to build it,"

you were just thankful that george was surprisingly helpful, putting everything together with no complaint, checking the water and the gas, pottering around and doing odd jobs with a content look on his face.

"george?" you pottered into the kitchen after finishing unpacking the bathroom toiletries, where george was unpacking a kettle and microwave, and he looked up at you and confirmed he was listening with a small 'hm?'

"should we order a takeaway? 'm thinking maybe we deserve it after all the hard work building furniture and moving?" you said with a smile, and he rolled his eyes playfully at you.

"our hard work?" he teased, and you gave him a small grin.

"hey, i built a quarter of the wardrobe!" you laughed back, and he nodded his head.

"oh, yeah, of course you did babe," he curled his lip in amusement, standing up and pressing a kiss to your forehead, "takeaway sounds good, just let me finish up quickly getting these in the boxes and we'll leave the rest for tomorrow? most of it is done anyways,"

"sounds good to me," you smiled, and walked into what was now the living room - a little bare still, but it had a sofa and a tv, and it would obviously feel more homely the more you were there. but right now it was still kind of surreal - you lived with george.

once the food had came and you had put on some tv show you both knew far too well in the background for noise, whilst you were eating you looked at george with a small smile.

"weird that we, like, live here now. like.. we live together," you said, and he laughed.

"yeah, i get no more late night cuddles with arthur and chris," he mockingly frowned, and you giggled at him, playfully putting your hand on his shoulder, feigning support.

"it must be so hard to move out from your boyfriends' house," you grinned, and he nodded, playing along.

"it is... and now i'm just stuck with you," he said with an amused look on his face, "being your live in handyman."

"oh, shut up, you wouldn't have it any other way," you jabbed him playfully before leaning into his side.

[vigilskeep]

i have never thought of the bg3 paths as railroaded before but oh my god... i see your vision. i think that, for all that can be picked apart in the writing of dragon age, the worldbuilding in that series is so so interested in complicating all factions that you can envision a character who /makes sense/ while bouncing through various ideologies. and the sort of fantasy writing in (most of) the forgotten realms doesn't really allow for that.

dao is particularly the light of my life because the origins mechanic is specifically intended to let you create a character who has a distinctive perspective on the world that’s grounded in the worldbuilding. one of my favourite aspects of this is several origins having completely different codex entries on their own culture as opposed to those an outsider would get. it’s really good! it’s also a reasonably grounded world (while obviously silly) because, like, the basic fundamental premise of thedas, from which they ikea flatpack built almost every feature, is “how would people react to magical and fantastical diversity? the same way they react to human diversity.” you’re meant to feel like, aside from i guess the darkspawn, people are normal and have real motivations. sure it has to fulfil certain roles in a story, and dragon age was manufactured too quickly and purposefully for everything to land feeling authentic, but evil in dragon age should feel recognisable. and in most of the origins they give you a chance to do something that is bad, but also totally makes sense, because of the context of your character belonging to this world where these things happen

in dnd/the forgotten realms it’s a bit different because capital e Evil exists, so there are people and deities and devils (and, to open another can of worms, races) whose entire goal is to Do Evil. it’s also harder to produce grounded evil because in a world where i’m being given basically no context and just told to make whatever i want, i don’t have an inch of the kind of social information i get from for example a dao origin: what my character has been taught to believe they should do to survive, who they are willing to sacrifice, whatever. bg3 also happens to have a main plot goal that is, at least for the first part of the game, broadly selfish (“i am sick, and i need a cure”) which works really well for getting a bunch of people with vastly differing moral standards to band together for the same goal, and not so good for any kind of “greater good” type blurred morality, so that’s out too

however much the worldbuilding factors into this, bg3 specifically went for quite a clear distinction between the good path and the capital e Evil Path, and i find it pretty hard to vary up the good path. when i say railroaded i mean you either do the specific thing that gets you a quest down the line or not. i was really disappointed actually in my playthrough where i totally fucked up in the druids’ grove and caused a fight to break out, because it immediately instakilled tons of characters i knew i would need down the line. the few it spared needed some of the dead ones to stay alive in later quests, so it’s like... oh. that’s just... over. for both factions. bg3 arguably lets you do basically anything you want but they are able to do that because if you fuck around it just breaks the entire quest line from coming up again, which means playing a character who fucks up is not even really going to get me consequences it’s just going to cut content from the game. does that make sense? and then the Evil Path is just straight up evil, like... there’s no way for me to complicate and empathise, here, especially playing a blank canvas character whose motivations i would have to make up from nothing, and who faces basically no consequences for not doing this. the only neutral/cowardly/self-interested option in act 1 is to do neither path, which gets me the least content because i literally don’t get to play the fucking game

i don’t know, i’m not saying it’s necessarily bad just that it’s hard for me, personally, and how i like to create characters. especially when you have my constant restart disease and you have to do this all over again a dozen times just for a handful of different dialogue. does any of that make sense

[therealcocoshady]

Marshall + Lily HCs

Note : to anyone who enjoys the Marshall + Lily series… here are a few HCs. Things that are canon to the series, even though I might not put it in an actual chapter 👀. I hope you enjoy it ❤️. Also, happy first day of summer ! It means we’re close to finally getting the album 💿

Meeting Reader & Relationship with her

* He proposed on the very day he met you. It was a joke, of course, but he couldn’t help it. At first, when Paul mentioned hiring someone and having a new member on the Shady Records Team, he wasn’t a big fan of the idea (he’s such a creature of habit). But when he met you, it was a done deal : you were gorgeous but, most of all, you were the first woman he met who had a hip-hop culture to rival his own. According to him, you’re the perfect woman.

* He met Lily (who was four months old then) a couple of weeks later and he was gutted when he learned you had a child. He almost felt cheated on, imagining that you hadn’t mentioned you were married. But when you told him that you had her on your own and she didn’t have a dad, it made him even more impressed with you.

* You actually bonded over your experiences as single parents and you were grateful for everything he shared, since Lily was your first child and you were still learning how to navigate things.

* Since you moved to Detroit alone with Lily and didn’t really know people outside of work, he showed up when he thought you needed it. You mentioned you had trouble putting an IKEA bookshelf together ? Car troubles ? He was there with a smile and his toolbox.

* Attraction was immediate on both sides and evident to everyone. He was actually quick to ask you on a date but you turned him down. Partly because you weren’t too sure about dating your boss but also because Lily was so young and your ultimate priority.

* You stayed friends for a couple of months until you actually made the move.

* Lily had health issues that led to her having to undergo pediatric surgery and Marshall showed up in the waiting room to make sure you were ok. He brought you coffee and basically just tried to ease your nerves. As soon as the surgeon came to tell you that everything was fine and Lily would be more than ok, you cried tears of relief in Marshall’s arms and kissed him.

* You were mortified about it (even if he kissed you back) and didn’t really talk to him for days after.

* When you finally talked about it and you profusely apologized, he assured you that it was fine and you half-expected him to ask you out again but he didn’t. He made you ask him out (because he got turned down once and he wanted to get back at you a little).

* You were nervous about dating while Lily was so young but he consistently proved you that he was willing to adapt to your schedule and needs.

* After a while, most dates came to include Lily. He’s the one who brought the idea of taking her with you because he always wanted to see more of you and knew you wouldn’t realistically let her with a babysitter that often.

* Lily did ruin a few dates though.

* Just imagine having a romantic dinner with Marshall at your place, past her bedtime and planning everything to seal the deal. Sexy dress, amazing lingerie, hot make out session on the couch… only to keep on being interrupted by a bawling baby (you definitely didn’t get any that night).

* It actually took you a WHILE in your relationship to actually sleep together. Not because you didn’t want to (because, again, chemistry) but because of logistics. At some point you thought he would get sick of it and break up but he was in too deep already.

* He never really told you but he fell in love much faster than you did.

* The fact that you had a daughter he was often around also pushed him to be a better version of himself in your relationship and behave very well.

* You tried to hide your relationship at first (from Paul, Tracy, the team) but Marshall’s relationship with Lily was the biggest telltale sign that you were together. The whole team loved her and she was Shady Record’s unofficial mascot but, even if she had always been obsessed with Marshall, it became clear that they spent a LOT of time around each other 👀

Lily as the official Mascot of Shady Records

* You often brought Lily to work, for things like getting a little bit more work done after picking her up at daycare. It wasn’t rare seeing you around the office, working with Lily in a baby carrier.

* The whole team was very supporting of your mothering and, since she wasn’t much of a disturbance and a peaceful baby, they didn’t mind you bringing her.

* She quickly became the mascot and everyone sort of became aunts and uncles to her.

* As she grew up, though, she became more distracting to everyone and it was harder to get work done. I can absolutely see Marshall getting bored in a meeting you had to take her to (because it was late) and spending more time making faces at her than listening to Paul.

* But no one ever had the heart to tell you not to bring Lily because they like her and you actually happen to be efficient. They’re just so easily distracted.

* By the time she is two or three, she is absolutely running her world. She has toys over the place, there’s juice pouches in the fridge for her, she knows she can disturb her uncle Paul and sit in his office chair, she enjoys messing around with the buttons on the mixing board… she also meets a couple of artists on the roster (her favorite is Boogie). Basically, it’s Lily’s world and everyone just happens to be living in it.

* Everyone always jokes that she’ll inherit the label when she grows up.

Lily’s relationship with Marshall

* Marshall happens to be very good with children and he was always great with her, even when you were just friends.

* While you were dating, they quickly formed a bond, to a point where he was able to anticipate her needs and they didn’t need much words.

* Sometimes it made you scared and you asked yourself questions like “what happens if we break up ? Lily will be crushed” but Marshall put them to rest. Because he did not plan on leaving anyway, and if you ever broke up with him didn’t mean he would ignore Lily if she was around the studio.

* Marshall referred to baby Lily as the most efficient sleeping pill on earth. If she sleeps in his arms, he nods off super easily. So seeing them napping on the couch was never a rare sight.

* She’s also a very efficient alarm so it’s a two-way street, really…

* When she was a toddler, they had chaotic raccoon duo energy. She brought his inner child out. Thank God, it got calmer after a while.

* Marshall’s shoulders and arms are Lily’s favorite mode of transportation. He is always carrying her everywhere.

* He is also virtually unable to say no to her. Always was.

* At the time you got together, Stevie was fifteen and she was jealous of Lily for a while. Because Lily required a lot of attention and she was also a bit weirded out by the fact that her dad was dating someone other than her mom.

* With time, Lily developed a great relationship with Stevie, Hailie and Alaina. As Marshall’s girlfriend daughter and then their adoptive sister.

* She was obsessed with Stevie since she’s the youngest one, following her like a puppy.

* She has a different relationship with every one of Marshall’s daughters but it’s equally good.

* Overall, Marshall’s eldest daughters agree that Lily has it much better than them. Because Marshall is at a point in his career where he has a bit more time and is more secure. So he’s around a lot and he isn’t as strict as he used to be. They don’t mind though, they love their little sister.

* Marshall always says that Lily got the best version of him : sober, healthy, peaceful & with much more free time.

* Their favorite thing to do together is drawing and playing video games.

* After he adopted her he had a Lily flower tattooed on this inside of his arm

* « Daddy » is Lily’s magic word. She says it and all her wishes come true, because Marshall is too proud of that title. (He had to earn it !)

* You never lied to Lily about how you had her (IVF, donor) and that she was adopted by Marshall. She doesn’t really care about not being biologically his, since Alaina and Stevie aren’t either.

* However, once the twins are born, she’s a bit angsty about it. Everyone is pointing out how much they take after him and she’s scared that he won’t love her as much.

[crazylittlejester]

LU Links as things I did in the month of September (except two weeks late because i forgot to post it and it’s been rotting in my drafts-)

Time: Sat in the gamestop parking lot for TWO full hours waiting for the store to open so he could get the game he preordered because he thought the line would be super fucking long and he made a friend come with him and wait because he NEEDED his game, but he didn’t wanna get lonely. No one showed up till like 10 minutes too and at that point he’d gotten so distracted he ended up last in a line of 5 people and he was really upset about it

Warriors: Got bit by a mosquito and had a severe reaction to it but because he whines and complains about everything all the time people were just kinda like “yeah I’m sure it DOES bother you dude” but it was genuinely so bad he was on 3 meds for a week, had an allergic reaction, and had to go to urgent care. And on his way to said urgent care a lady told him he looked sad and handed him a 10$ IKEA coupon. When people in his life actually saw the size of the bite they were horrified

Twilight: Looked at his dog and cried because he didn’t understand why such a little creature would love him enough to fall asleep outside his room waiting for him to wake up in the morning

Sky: Stood outside in a rainstorm with his head down staring at his bare ass feet in his sandals that were getting absolutely soaked and decided he maybe DIDNT need to get the mail just then, but then slipped and ate shit in the garage because his shoes were wet

Hyrule: Drove 40 minutes for a can of pringles and three 3 musketeers bars. Intended to ration them out over the course of three days, but ate them all in one sitting and then got sad about it

Legend: Realized he can’t be sad if he’s screaming to FNAF songs in the car, and then realized yes he CAN be sad because FNAF songs remind him of his best friend who he really fucking misses. Now he listens to podcasts in the car because he will start tearing up if he listens to music in general while he drives

Wild: Spontaneously drove to a different state on a Thursday afternoon and the fact that it was a Thursday fucked with his internal calendar and for the rest of the weekend he was mentally one day off. But it ended up being great for him because he woke up and cried Monday morning but then realized it was actually Sunday and no he DIDNT have to go to school

Four: Ate so much chocolate he made himself sick and unfortunately this happened while all his housemates were out so he just had to lay there pathetically wishing he at least wasn’t lonely while suffering

Wind: Wakes up every god damn day and choses NOT to eat his dnd dice. It is a STRUGGLE. They look so fucking edible…

[happypotato48]

Wandee Goodday EP 4 Unhinged Tangent Thoughts

Get in losers we're going to go get emotionally destroy by men with big Tiddies.

.....Fuck you but also thank you??? open with this scene seems mean of them.

Eyebrows x Ai Phi Ter, a ghostship maybe??? (i'm joking plz don't kill me, or am i mua55555555.)

It this what the heteros are calling IT these days, those sick fucks.

I can fix him, and by "fix" i mean i can disassemble him like an ikea furniture then reassemble him without his ego.

Yes please! Yak's Knife is big and deadly i hope i could get stabs with it too.

Ouuuh! Pretty, this shot is perfect.

This is how a porno starts! these bitches can't even keeps it in their pants for 5 fucking seconds.

ถ้าจะหวงเค้าก็หย่าเอาแต่เล่นสิจ๊ะน้องดี

*me having a nosebleed with one hand holding my nose and the other one doing the thumbs up gesture*

*in universe representations of Wandee Goodday viewers*

"You wish you could be them" Yes Duh!! Thank you for stating the obvious brain, now go back to focusing on the show or else i'm going to sleep deprived the fuck out of you.

Yes Pakao strangle that messy little Homo, do it do it do it. God bless ace sexuality if is not for its the human race would has gone extinct cause of dumb bitches whose think with their genitals.

Kill him! or fuck him or both, yes both.

อุ้ยตาย, These nerds why you two like this ahhhhhh. this is too fucking adrob, also where is my kinky bathroom sex scene! (there was one in the book when they had sleepover at the gym.)

Run away! Girl run as fast as you can. this man flag is a wholeass jolly roger stained red by bloods of gullible homosexuals. also this make me think cause those gossipy gays that were on his side in the last ep seems a bit much. maybe this asshole also manipulated them too in someways. maybe i'm digging in too much but this kind of asshole do like to have a pattern.

Read them! read them for the filthy loves they has for each others.

i want to let you all know that i have a hardcover that also a poster of book Dee in a kinky maid outfit riding Yak that i hide in my room, not because it's gay but because it's cringe.

i would not be surpise if this is actually sponsored by the thai health ministry.

this show continued to be great and what not. now let me rant cause of gmmtv. soooooooooooo they're doing the cooking crush thing agian for the live tv version at least idk about youtube. the tv version was missing a lot of scenes that in the Viu version. the tv version felt so off and i was huhh??? god damn, i guess i'll stop watching it live then. well i hope this is just a problem for domestic audiences and y'all don't have to deal with this shit.

[redfountainpostin]

Sky AND Brandon can't boil water. Brandon was taught everything that a Prince and a Protector should know and cooking isn't one of those things. His family is super proud of him but because of his duty, he was raised away from them from a very early stage, so when he came back as a young it was like "Our son! The noble protector of the Crown! The sword and shield of the future of Eraklyon!" and then "Oh no, he can't cook a packet of instant noodles, what did they do to our baby".

Timmy can cook very nicely because it was a bonding activity for his family- he has a large family so no, they don't always cook all together but whenever someone cooks there's at least 1 more person helping and one more person keeping company by the kitchen counter. They are very well off, but don't have a housekeeper simply because they choose not to (can't relate). It is a large house full of chaos and love.

Helia is meh because his family does have a housekeeper who also did the cooking, he usually would put something together if the housekeeper called in sick or he ate all the leftovers before her next visit (he's an only child and his parents were often away) because he doesn't like a lot of takeout but as he grew older, if there was no prepared food in the house he'd just go to a restaurant. (And yes, it is as ridiculous as it sounds, just imagine a 12 year old Helia in the Ritz sitting at table for 1 having a steak and an apple juice in a crystal glass. He always behaved BEAUTIFULLY tho the staff loved him. And he always got a fruit cup for dessert, sometimes to go so he'd have it on the steps of some museum like the Gossip Girl characters have their's in front of the MET)

Nabu is a great cook, and he actually went on a course for that one summer.

Riven was at first a Winx level cook (meaning, he's a danger to society. You'd think he's super adapt at all the chores and stuff, bc he's not from a fancy background, but he's actually so fucking underprivileged he's as clueless as Sky and Brandon because uh. You need to have a house to do housechores. He never cleaned a thing in his life, never hung a picture on a wall or put together an IKEA desk, let alone cooked something. HOWEVER, he got sent to kitchen duty as detention so many times he's actually really good at cooking now, and is actually now very well educated in how to make food as nutritiously dense as possible, while keeping it tasty. Because that's what Red Fountain cooks focus on.

[headfarintheclouds]

This has been something that's been rattling around in my head a while and I haven't seen anyone do this yet, so got any HCs for Kenji dating a Vtuber reader?

Well to be honest, when I read that ask I wasn't too sure what to write BUT I did find a few ideas :D I don't really understand the Vtuber concept but I do enjoy people my Cyno and Monarch :) Hope you'll like it and THANK YOU for the request <3 AN: I kind of wrote it more for a streamer than for a VTuber at the end ? I'm so sorry !

He didn't know you were a streamer until you told him. Remember when I said he was protective ? Yeah, when you mentioned you streamed with a camera he wasn't too happy about it. Sure you were your own person, but even he knew Internet was full of creeps and people of all kind honestly. It calmed him down when you told him about your Avatar and explained that nobody really knew how you looked like.

Kenji doesn't really care about games and streamers, but he cares about you ! So when you two decided to move in together, he renovated one of the rooms into your personal office. Taking you to IKEA to pick up furniture turned out to be the worst decision of his life, you spend hours choosing desks and chairs and other cute clutter to fill out the space to your liking. He wouldn't take no for an answer when he told you he'll pay for the stuff, even through you made enough money to afford it. "It makes you happy, right ? Let me make my princess happy." he said and kissed your forehead right then and there.

Whenever you streamed, and he had the time to do so, he would sit in the corner of your newly decorated office and watch you play. Nursing a cup of coffee or tea, depending on the time of day, he would chuckle whenever you lost a game or get scared by a monster in one of the horrors your audience begged you to play.

Speaking of Horror games ! Kenji is a little shit and we all know it, so you can imagine what would happen when you played scary games. Yep, he would scare the absolute shit out of you. One night you finally agreed to playing Phasmophobia with some of your online friends and well...

Your eyes focused on the screen, watching one of your friends place the crucifix on the floor. You were still fairly new to the game but you did know that it would stop the ghost from hunting, at least until it burned. "So what now ?" you asked, your Vtuber following your motions to a T. "Now we need last evidence." one of your co-players responded, his character crouching to pick up the walkie-talkie from the ground. At that moment something fell down from the in game table and it made you absolutely scream. "NOPE I AM OUT OF HERE !" you turned your character and walked towards the door, but it slammed in your face. The ghost started to hunt and from the looks of it it was after you ! "SUCK A CARROT, SUCK A CARROT !" you yelped, trying to run away. You could hear your friends absolutely lose it in the background, as the ghost finally caught up to you. A hand was suddenly placed on your shoulder, and you jump out from your chair so fast Ken didn't even had the time to react. Let's just say your audience started was confused about the sudden bang, and a groan of pain.... and your endless apologies. Nobody could see but you just smacked your wireless keyboard on top of his head from the fright... (BTW ! That Suck a carrot moment actually happened. My friend yelled that dying to a ghost and I thought I might share it with ya'll XD)

Yeah from that point onwards he didn't try to scare you anymore. You felt awful about the incident but some sick party of you was glad you did it, serves him right for scaring you like that. He sported a black eye for weeks after the incident, making tabloids go wild.

Emi absolutely adores your streams. Whenever you play games like Sims or Stardew valley Mina would let her watch it knowing it was friendly enough not to startle her. She was confused as to why the strange character on the screen was speaking with your voice but she still enjoyed the content.

Speaking of our baby girl ! At one point you changed your Avatar and added some stuff representing Emi. Like a Fin-like-Hairclip and a necklace with a K and E on it. Your fans asked questions but you just said you needed a change. Ken was very pleased about the necklace though !

Like any other Streamer you have your own merch, and Ken owns EVERY.SINGLE.PIECE. Limited edition ? He has double of every thing. He absolutely loved the fact you enjoyed your hobby/job so much !

He would totally share a link to your stream on his social. Imagine your surprise when you woke up one day with over 100k followers. Which was strange considering you were chilling at 2k just a few hours before that.

All in all. He would not understand much about your job, but he will support you no matter what. Even if he gets a black eye in the end XD

I'm sorry if it's bad !

[hoedamn-eron]

baby, please - part 14

You and Santiago go furniture shopping for his apartment. You don't expect to be invited to a Halloween party.

Warnings: Mentions of being sick, so emetophobia warning. Unrequited feelings (👀👀). Some swearing. Teasing between Frankie and Santi, standard bro's. Lightly proofread so definitely some mistakes in here. Word count: 3,616 F!Reader, no use of Y/N.

I'm BAAAAAACK. Sorry it took so long to get this out. Ideally I wanted it out for before Halloween but here we are, nearly at Christmas. My bad!

Also this feels just...a little stale to me. I tried re-writing it and going in a different direction but it just wouldn't fall into place the way I wanted it to. But I think that might be a me problem, and I will probably look at it differently once I'm back into the swing of things.

And I know we've already done a shopping trip with Santiago but I need it for the plot, okay?

Part 13 ● Series Masterlist ● Part 15

He came again with the truck. 

Now was the day to really ask about the car, right? You were twenty-four weeks pregnant; he needed a car. There was no room for two babies in this truck. Oh, but you don’t want to ask him, it was rude, it was up to him if he got a car or not. And honestly, the truck was probably the best thing for today, since he’s planning on buying an entire nursery, twice. 

No, he needed a car. You’ll gently ask him today. 

Santi had finally cleared out his spare room, and he and Frankie had deep cleaned it and gave it a new coat of paint, and it was now ready to be filled with furniture. He had told you that you weren’t allowed to go in the room until the babies were born as there was a small gender thing in there and he didn’t want to spoil it for you. 

“I’ve already looked online with Frankie and his wife, and I have an idea on what I want to get,” Santi said to you as you set off from your apartment. 

“You could have ordered it online,” you say. “It’ll be easier for you.” 

Santi shook his head. “Nah, I like to see the stuff before I buy it. Also, I need your input.” 

You nod and hold back your joke about him being an ‘old man’. You weren’t sure why he needed your input, but you weren’t complaining about spending a day with Santi. Your cheeks warm as you think back on the last few weeks. You hadn’t brought up the fact that you were probably (definitely), stupidly in love with him, and you weren’t going to. You were embarrassed enough that you were practically getting off every night to the thought of him. 

Damn your hormones. 

“How’s your morning sickness?” Santi asked as he focused on the road. 

“Oh, uh…nearly gone, actually,” you say. “It’s just once or twice a day now, or if I drink orange juice. Not sure why they’ve decided now to hate orange juice.” 

He nods at you before smiling. “Good. I’m glad. I know it was getting you down.” 

You bite your lip to stop yourself smiling like a love-struck teenager. “Yeah, it was.” 

You doze against the window of his truck until you arrive to Ikea. As you pull into the busy parking lot, you couldn't help but feel a mix of excitement and nervousness about the day ahead. It was more than just a furniture shopping trip; it was a glimpse into the future of your babies’ life with Santi, and the thought of that made your heart race. 

Santi parked up as close as he could to the entrance and helped you out of the truck (you will mention the car today). You wobble a little as your centre of gravity was starting to work against you, but you steady yourself by holding onto Santi’s arm for a second before letting go, your cheeks burning. You don’t look at him as you both walk into the Ikea, and you grab a cart before Santi takes it off you. 

“I have to push a double stroller soon, Santi,” you say, grinning at the look on his face. “I’m able to push a cart.” 

With that, you make your way into the large store before he could say anything, Santi soon following you. 

A feeling of togetherness washes over you as you pause every now and then and talk to him about your new house, how it’s big enough for you to fill with furniture. The excitement in your eyes was contagious as Santi navigated you both through the maze of furniture displays, joining in with how the kids would be able to play in the back yard with all the space you’ll have. Your heart swells at the image. 

You’d been imagining two boys, with your eyes and Santiago’s hair. Tanned skin and your nose, and you could see him taking them to baseball games in those jerseys he bought when you both went shopping. 

But sometimes you saw two girls, taking after their father in everything. Down to the curly hair and dark eyes and dressed in those Metallica shirts he was still fawning over. He’d probably get them all matching caps. 

“I could get them a swing set,” you say. “I loved the swing set at my grandma’s house.” 

“Yeah, corazón, I think they would like that.” 

“And a pool, maybe. Not a big one, but a decent sized one.” 

“You can do all’a that now with your house,” Santi says as you both go deeper in the Ikea. Eventually, he does take the cart from you, and you let him with no complaints. 

The first stop should have been the nursery section, but you stop in the toy section. You know, you know, you have bought enough toys for your kids, and Gabrielle has donated enough to you too. But you ‘don’t have this bear,’ or ‘that dinosaur,’ and you throw them in the cart. You grin at Santi as he shakes his head at you, smiling fondly. After a few more additions to the cart (where Santi had to physically pull you away), you finally make it to the nursery section. 

As you walked through carefully arranged cribs, changing tables, and adorable baby bedding sets, Santi's enthusiasm was evident. It was obvious he had done his research, and you watched him with probably heart eyes as he discussed the pros and cons of different options with you, valuing your opinion on every detail whenever he asked you. 

"I was thinking something like this crib," he said, pointing to a sleek, white crib with some wooden accents and a drawer underneath. "What do you think? Is it too minimalist?" 

You shrug, bending to look at the label, checking out the dimensions. “It looks good. But yeah, it looks a little plain. Does it match the nursery at your place?” 

“It does,” he says. He looked around. “But everything does, really. Everything’s so…white.” 

You let out a giggle as you look around too. “There is a lot of white. I suppose it’s gender neutral.” 

“Suppose I could get some sheets to bring in some colour,” Santi mumbled. He looks at you with a grin. “It is a nice crib.” 

“And it turns into a toddler bed for when the time comes,” you say, nodding at the product information. 

“It has a matching chest of drawers,” said Santi, taking a few steps away from you and to the rest of the furniture. “And changing unit.” 

“Ooh,” you say, following him quickly and taking a look. “Oh, I like the chest of drawers.” 

“Yeah? Should I get them then?” Santi asked you. 

“It’s up to you, Santi, these will be in your apartment, not mine. If you like them and you think they’ll go well in the room, then you should get them.” 

You back and forth with him over other pieces of furniture, like whether he should get a rug (“I think it’ll bring the room together nicely.”), or a chair in their room for feeds (“It would make it easier but I’ll probably end up on the couch anyway.”), and after a while, the room started taking shape in your mind as Santiago put more things in the cart. From what you could gather, the room had a nice sage green somewhere, and Santi had chosen a blend of soft pastels and natural wood tones; you had the sneaky suspicion it may be jungle themed, based off of some of the rugs he was looking at. 

You almost laughed. You could take Santiago out of the jungle, but you couldn’t take the jungle out of Santiago. 

As you strolled through Ikea, you couldn't help but sneak occasional glances at Santi, admiring his dedication to making the space – his space – absolutely perfect for your babies. The way he was talking about the future with them with so such excitement and care warmed your heart, and you couldn't ignore the feelings growing inside of you. You were in love with this man. 

Foolishly and despairingly in love. 

“Want some lunch after this?” Santiago asked you an hour later, as you strolled through the warehouse, picking up the flat packed boxes of furniture that he’d chosen. 

You nodded. “Yeah, I could eat.” 

“What’re you craving?” Santi asked, grunting as he pushed another flatpack box onto the cart. 

“Nothing in particular,” you say, shrugging nonchalantly as your eyes roamed over him. “I’ll have whatever you want to have.” 

“Italian? I could go for a pizza.” 

You nod, trying not to obviously stare and get distracted by the way the muscles in his arms move as he loads up the cart. “Sure.” 

“We can stop by my place first, get this stuff to my apartment.” 

You give him a look, raising your eyebrows pointedly at him. His knees. “Santi…” 

He was already shaking his head. “I’ve already asked Frankie to stop by, he’s gonna help out.” 

Your breath hitched at the thought of meeting Frankie. You don’t know why you suddenly felt so nervous, you were going to have to meet him sooner or later; you were pretty sure Santi was going to ask if he could make Frankie Godfather of the babies (of course you’d say yes, why wouldn’t you?). 

“You don’t need to be nervous,” Santi said, chuckling, shaking his head lightly. 

“I’m not nervous,” you immediately say, lying through your teeth. And it’s obvious too. 

“Your face says otherwise,” Santi replies, grunting as he places the last flatpack on the cart. You internally curse yourself; you should have gotten a second one. “He doesn’t bite. He’s soft.” 

“Nothing wrong with being soft,” you quip back, but Santi doesn’t reply. He just pulls the cart out of your reach, and you make your way to the check out. 

After paying (you wince at the price – you offer to pay half, but Santi downright refuses) you make your way back to his truck, where an employee (practically a kid, he looked no older than nineteen, but he was built like a tank) had offered to help load. You, again, attempted not to stare at Santi as you tried not to feel so useless, but every time you reached for a box, even just a small one, Santi quickly shot you down. 

“You’re carrying twins, you will hurt yourself.” 

“I’m pregnant, not elderly!” 

Your protesting falls on deaf ears, and Santi profusely thanks the employee for the help and hands the kid a tip. Santi helps you climb into the truck before making his way back to the driver’s side, and sends a quick text to Frankie, you assume telling him that you were on the way back to Santiago’s place. 

“Want to get Carmelo’s?” Santi asked as he pulled out of the parking space. 

You pull a face. “Their pizzas are greasy.” 

Santi laughed as he looked in his mirrors and drove out of the lot. “That’s what makes them great.” 

“Yeah, ‘great’ at giving you heart disease.” 

“Okay, how about Solorzano's?” 

You go quiet and think about it, before nodding. You’d ordered in with them before, and their garlic knots were to die for. Your mouth practically started watering at the thought of them. Maybe you don’t need a pizza, maybe you could just order appetisers, like the macaroni and cheese wedges, the mozzarella sticks, oh, maybe their chicken wings. 

Yep, Solorzano's was good. 

“Yeah, that’s fine, let’s do that,” you say. 

You arrive back at Santi’s after telling him all about the food you were going to get, him laughing and telling you that you were hardcore ‘playing into the pregnant lady trope’. You pretended to take offence, telling him fact that you were just appreciating good food, that he suggested, whether you were pregnant or not. 

“All right, fair,” he’d said, amused. 

You try not to fawn at his laugh, but you couldn’t help it. You sighed, hopefully thinking Santi took it that you were happy that he agreed with you over your food choices. 

You soon pull up to his apartment and park in his designated spot, only for a dark blue car to pull up minutes after you arrived. Your eyes widen a little as you see the infamous Francisco Morales climb out of his car and approach you both from his place parked behind Santi. He was shorter than he looked in the video, but still taller than Santi. His dark, tousled hair was hidden behind a cap, and it gave him a rugged charm, and there's something about the lines on his face that makes him look like he's seen it all but is still totally approachable. You catch a glimpse of some scars on his tanned arms, on show as the sleeves of his dark shirt were pushed up to his elbows, and it only added to the sense that this guy has some serious stories to share. 

“Hey, Pope!” 

“How’s it going, Fish?” Santi asked, giving Frankie a smile as they hug, patting each other on the back in a way that you would expect brothers to do. The nicknames confused you; Santi had never referred to himself as ‘Pope’, nor Frankie as ‘Fish’. “Could have tidied yourself up a bit.” Santi jokes, motioning to Frankie’s cap and old battered jacket. 

“I’m doing you a favour, hermano, watch your mouth. Sarah asked me to drop this off for you too,” Frankie said, holding up a paper bag before looking at you and pointing at you with a good-natured expression on his face. “You are not to look in that bag, because it is a surprise.” 

Your eyes widened for a fraction before you nodded. “Okay, yeah...noted.” 

“Are you going to introduce us, teo, or did the news of twins and the financial recovery make you forget basic manners and social introductions?” 

Santi gave Frankie the bird before introducing you both. 

“It’s nice to meet you,” you say, shaking his hand as he offered it to you. 

“It’s nice to put a face to the name,” Frankie says, letting go of your hand and taking a look at the bed of the truck, full of the furniture Santi had bought. He nodded towards it as he looked at Santi. “What did you get?” 

“Everything, it seems,” you joke. 

Frankie gave you a grin before turning back to Santi. “When are you gonna get a car, feo? Can’t fit car seats in this thing.” 

You almost laughed in relief. Now you didn’t have to ask and feel like you were intruding. 

“I’m working on it, tu idiota,” Santi replied, opening the bed of the truck. “Now help me with these boxes, you can’t expect me and my knees to do all the hard work. Don’t even think about it.” 

You hold your hands up in surrender at Santi’s firm gaze, landing on you as you had reached for a box. 

Santi hands you his keys and you go up to his apartment to unlock the door, Santi and Frankie following you up moments later, carrying boxes up with them, huffing and puffing together. You grin as you hear Santi grumble that they ‘felt heavier than they did at Ikea’, and you make your way down to get some of the lighter things. You grab the rug that Santi chose, along with the soft toys you’d picked out. 

You eye the paper bag Frankie bought, that was sat in the bed of the truck, the curiosity to take a peek inside itching at your fingertips. You look around quickly before looking at the bag before you finally shake your head. Frankie said it was a surprise, something Santi might have organised, so you shouldn’t. You should leave it alone. 

“You better not look in that.” 

You smirk before looking at Santi, who was giving you an amused look. “I was thinking about it. But I won’t.” 

Santi rolled his eyes in amusement as he and Frankie both grab another box. You grab one last toy before you follow them up the stairs and into Santi’s living room, placing the stuff on the couch. You go back to the truck, taking the last of the small things before sitting back and watching the two men bring back the last of the flatpack boxes. Soon, Santi’s living room was representing the Ikea warehouse with how many boxes were littered around everywhere. You spotted the paper bag sitting on the small dining room table by the open plan kitchen. 

Again, you choose to let it go. 

You step outside, closing and locking the apartment. You see Santi and Frankie chatting by the truck, the bed now closed, and you make your way over. You hear Santi thanking Frankie for the help with the furniture. 

“Don’t thank me yet, you still need help putting that shit together,” Frankie replied. “You’ll probably need all the guys for that.” 

Santi snorted. “Would love to see Benny try to put together a crib...or two.” 

“Well, he put Sofía’s together,” Frankie said. 

Santi went quiet at that, and the two stared at each other. You weren’t sure what was happening, but it was as though they were having a private conversation with each other, without having to say anything. You go quiet, letting them have their telepathic conversation, until you cleared your throat, breaking the awkward silence. “Would you like to join us for lunch, Frankie?” 

After a few more moments, Frankie turns from Santi and gives you a small smile. “I would love to, but it’s Sofía’s birthday next month, and Sarah’s got me running around trying to get the stuff for it and she has me planning this Halloween party in a couple of days.” 

“The guys say they’re still going for Halloween?” Santi asked, crossing his arms over his chest. It was as if his and Frankie’s interaction hadn’t happened. You put a pin in it for now. 

“Benny said he’s still coming, Ironhead’s still unsure, since Claire’s putting a bit of pressure on him to make some solid decisions on the wedding.” Frankie chuckled before looking at you. “You should come,” he suddenly said to you. “I know it’s a bit last minute and it’s mostly for kids, but it should be fun.” 

Your brain stops for a moment, not realising Frankie was suddenly talking to you. You blink at him for a moment before shaking your head. “Oh! Uh, yeah, I’ll definitely think about it. I was gonna go with my friend and her kids trick or treating – “ 

Frankie cuts you off with a wave of his hand. “Bring them along, seriously. Sarah loves meeting new people, she’s been talking my ear off about when Pope was finally going to introduce you to everyone.” 

“Frankie,” Santi muttered firmly, a light blush coming to his cheeks, causing you to giggle. 

You nod at Frankie. “Didn’t realise I was such an interesting topic.” 

“Are you kidding? You managed to get Santiago Garcia to slow down and think about his future for once,” Frankie said, ignoring Santi’s very obvious glare. 

You grin. “I’ll talk to my friend, see if she wants to join.” 

“Great. You’re coming though, right hermano?” 

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Santi replied. “Can’t disappoint Sofía.” 

You feel your chest warm and your heart swell with the way he looks as he talks about his niece, how he was so enamoured with her. You wonder how he would talk about your kids and how he would act with them. You find your eyes quickly swell with years, and you look away from the two men quickly, wiping at them. 

Damn hormones. 

“Great, just let me know plans, yeah?” Frankie said, nodding at you both. “No pressure, though, if you can’t make it.” 

You nod. “No worries, I'll let you know. Or I’ll get Santi to tell you, anyway.” 

“Again, it was nice to finally meet you,” Frankie said, shaking your hand again. “I’ll text you later, hermano.” 

“See ya, Fish,” Santi replied, giving Frankie a quick hug before the two of you watch him leave. You both wave as he drives away. 

“So,” you say after a few moments, handing Santi’s keys back over to him. “What’s with the nicknames?” 

“Our call signs,” Santi said, taking the keys. “Just stuck afterwards.” 

“Oh, right. Why is yours Pope?”

Santi was silent for a moment before he pulled a face, shaking his head. “It doesn’t matter, I think it was something stupid Benny said.” 

You don’t believe him, but you won’t push. He was always a little closed off about his days in the army. “Okay. So, ready for lunch?” 

“Sure...yeah,” he answers, before opening the truck door for you. He hesitates again for a moment as you turn to climb in, before he blurts out, “You don’t have to come to the party.” 

You look at Santi, seeing his unsure face looking at you. “Why?” 

“Don’t want you to feel obligated,” he says. 

You study him for a moment, noticing his stance. He seemed a little out of sorts, nervous almost. You give him a reassuring look. “I want to go. It’ll be fun.” Then you give him a teasing smirk. “And besides, I’d miss out on hearing all the embarrassing stories about you from your friends! No way am I missing this.” 

You see his shoulders relax a little at your words before he rolls his eyes. “Funny. Get in the truck.” 

“You know, if you got a car, I wouldn’t struggle so much getting in and out of this thing.” 

“I fucking knew the truck bothered you.”

• tu idiota - you asshole • feo - ugly

Tagged - @khonsulockley, @bluenredndeath, @superficialfeelings, @othersideoftheparadise, @beezusvreeland

[alexeatstables]

I got a blahaj, at what cost?

Hiii, sorry I disappeared for a bit there. Got tired and didn't really want to post. Yesterday, I went to IKEA for the Julbord thing they had, and I was sick. Turns out, slightly loud spaces where you have to eat is not good for a sick person with a headache and a sore throat.

Frankly, I started crying, like a lot, because it was like torture. Afterwards, though, we walked around the actual store (which was much quieter, btw) and my parents bought me a blahaj. So, it wasn't the worst day, but definitely not the best.

[colorfullyminded]

Wirt likes architecture/interior design so obligatory HC that his version of lovesick doodling is designing his dream home with Dipper

Oh my god absolutely! I also love headcanoning him as someone who works in theater, but usually behind the stage. And I know in college, the crew typically built the sets-- so like ahhh, Wirt as a stage manager designing and building the sets he creates! Anyway, absolutely this love sick fool is designing his dream home with Dipper. He takes Dipper to Ikea for a relaxing date (Dipper wonders how this is necessarily relaxing-- but Wirt distracts him with pillows and cool looking furniture, and Dipper ends up forgetting the time until he relooks at his watch and realizes they've been here for nearly 3 hours!). When they start to move in, I imagine he actually has Ford, and Wendy, and other friends and family help to build the house-- which makes it all the more special. The idea of Wirt (with the help of their loved one) building their house from scratch! Stop I'm going to cry. And Dipper sure teared up when he saw the completed thing (as if he didn't also help to build the house--- but seeing it completed is a very overwhelming moment).

God that's so cute. I know sometimes I go on etsy and save cookwear that I want for my future place-- so you know Wirt is doing that with his shit too.