#i feel better but it will not last
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my head feels like TV static
tw venting i am overwhelmed this is mostly a stream of consciousness and makes only half sense
i need to spill things somewhere i hope it helps
sirry this is kind of like real life stuff
i do not have anxiety in the diagnostic sense but there is so much in my body right now its going to pour out of my eyes and i'm worried i will drown in it
there is too much going on and not enough sleep to function i can either take my medication be productive and not sleep until four hours before my alarm or allow sleep instead of work
i can only pretend to be someone else for so long to keep my mood up i can only pretend for so long until i run out of fuel and it does not help much to pretend to be "Sammy Lawrence" or "Remus Lupin" or "Bucky barnes" before the character's instabilities actually make it hard to feel better and then i am back and so tired
i can pretend to be one of my own characters but they are pieces of me and it doesn't help much
the dopamine it gives me to spend time with stuff i like doesn't help my brain is moving too fast i feel like im spinning
books and paper and paint are so expensive i didnt get a textbook until yesterday because it took me two weeks to make the decision about whether i should risk a virus and get it for $20 or spend 50 dollars more just to rent it digitally and as for the art supplies i need to buy special paper? and the project is due sooner than id like
and food is so expensive i have food but not REAL food and I cannot eat cereal and popcorn forever but i have dishes to do and its either a drive to the less expensive grocery store or a 20 minute walk to the more expensive one
ive been trying to start a patreon but have no time to make content for the patreon
sunlight never reaches my window and my apartment is very dark but if I open my windows to let light in, people can see me so easily. my plants will die soon. i got a new plant recently as a reward for working so hard this summer and im afraid its going to die and im afraid that if this were a book and some student were reporting on it they'd relate my plant's health to mine and how i may be slowly falling apart
putting the light on helps a lot but not when we pay for electric and i have to think about how expensive it is to exist
i have been trying to pay my water bill for days and watching every drop i use because the other day my tap was on for 4 hours while i was away from home but the water lady has not emailed me back
i make list after list after list and its the same tasks that i still have to do them all
last night i tried to watch Fresh because i started it two days ago and sebastian stan is candy for the brain and i did not finish the movie but i had to pay for my enjoyment because the next day i feel like THIS and it is a punishment for trying to relax
when you look up how to deal with anxiety everything is things i cannot do except for breathe and breathing is not helping its all "sleep better" and "eat better" and "exercise" and "plan a time to worry"
i would like to melt but i have so much work to do
#vent#tw vent#anxiety vent#venting#real life#my real life#irl stuff#college#anxiety#college student#doesnt relate to batim#my stuff#i feel better but it will not last#ill be okay i just cant hold my thoughts in right now#classical music helps
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guess what i watched on new years (a redraw kind of)
#hee hee#it was cute#(disclaimer i do not subscribe to d+ so my dollar was not going there iykyk)#pjo#percy jackson#grover underwood#annabeth chase#my art#fanart#hoo#i had to take silly pics of myself 2 get percys arm hand thing right#and then just cropped it bc yea#i almost gave annabeth the hair i did in the last one but i thought#why do i feel compelled to change her hair to fit the old image i had from the books and not the others#and i drew her actual hair from the show#and it looks sm better
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more people gotta try this shit where bill has not improved and will not change but he's just chilling so its fine probably. its great
#gravity falls#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#gf nevermind all that#is this really for that? no but if its post canon bill on earth then it may as well be. makes it nice and easy to find later too#reread tbob because we just got our own (nicely water damaged) copy and i was like. i dont draw him cute enough#i will continue trying to do better#anyways stanley you are a butch woman. stanley transition now you dont even have to do anything youre already perfect#its just about the intent#every time i drew him for the last one all i could think was oohhhhhh my god you are a dyke. to me. please#in other news are there any burned out pushing-30s out there who havent drawn in years? i gotta say. i really gotta say.#get mentally ill about something its great. preferably alongside a few other people that you can use to create a perpetual cycle of insanit#gets you drawing again in no time and it feels great
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Yeah, Kris is definitely NOT alright.
FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT
MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)
#undertale#deltarune#utdr#crossover#crossover comic#undertale fanart#deltarune fanart#twin runes#twin runes comic#twin runes au#kris dreemurr#frisk#and we arrived at the breaking point#i know the last pages have been very depresso but i swear once this arc is over we'll get right back on track with the funnies#but first we have to deal with some DRAMA#imagine what it would be like if some otherworldly entity took over your body#and suddenly you start making friends and patching up old friendships#Something even your mother is proud of you for#even though it's not YOU doing that#you'd feel like people don't like YOU but only that parasite in your body#because without it you're just that creepy kid next door#you'd feel like the world would be better without you#at least that's what Kris must be feeling right now#i DO wonder what's up with this cave though#it clearly is NOT the exit#and what's with those markings outside and inside the cave?#hmmmmm
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9 / 266
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk 266#fanart#jjk fanart#itafushi#jujutsu kaisen fanart#used th itfs tag bc its implied and this is an itfs piece i said so#i dont think ive seen this parallel made yet??? but its ok if it has#i just had the idea hit at gross o clock last night when i ws alr exhausted n had 2 force myself to sleep instead of drawing it#i just . clutches chest . YUUJI#th char development the emotional maturity..#the willingness to put aside his gojo voice personal feelings in favour of giving megumi agency over his own life#rather than burden him with expectations the way every1 has done fr both of them over the course of the series...#tears in my eyes thats my mc!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway art notes i think lower one is some of the best yuuji hair ive drawn 2 date#it's kind of similar to one of my 265 redraws but i think i struck a better balance in how thoroughly i rendered it here#proud of my me but also SO grateful tht yuuji has not been fighting me lately#so much yuuji content these past chapters i cant imagine th frustration having to Also fight him in order 2 create content fr them#anyway itafushi kaisen is real and canon and alive and yuuji singlehandedly discovered th cure 2 my mental illness w this line
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I recently had the pleasure of seeing the Avatar the Last Airbender In Concert and it was so beautiful 😭🧡 but it also reminded me of the “duality of Aang” thing I did earlier this year, so I couldn’t resist making a sequel 🫶
#i feel like this works better in a carousel format like on IG and tiktok but alas#avatar the last airbender#aang#illustration#atla fanart
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this is the first time back at my computer since my back injury 3 months ago and i had a hankering for some isabela 💙🗡
#girl. im in so much pain#i hope this gets better with time. these last few months have taken such a mental and physical toll on me#honestly been not feeling good about my art too but im trying sooo hard to stay positive OTL#isabela my lovely save me!!!!!!#isabela#dragon age 2#dragon age#da2#my art#art
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more mithruns…. a little more in line with the manga style
#my art#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#mithrun#dunmeshi mithrun#can’t tell if these are better or worse than the last ones lol#tbh they’re just Different but i feel like my art has been on such a roller coaster every month#whatever man life is ruff and i draw mithrun and i go :)#just posted to patreon so that means i get to release sketches outta the vault
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part of a sadness
#just thinking about how simon’s world is reflected in fionna’s#not just the characters but feelings too#just that deep melancholy#fionna mirrors that albeit the sadness is caused by a different reason#YET THEY’RE THE SAME TOO!#the feeling of being stuck…and that feeling of longing for something (or someone)#questioning ‘will it ever get better’#they resonate with me so much#this is all based on the hints we get that fionna and cake exist in Simon’s mind and how cake literally escaped from it in the last episode#it just got me thinking and i got emotional and#yeah#my art#adventure time#at#fionna and cake#fionna and cake spoilers#fionna the human#fionna campbell#simon petrikov#cake the cat#adventure time fionna and cake#adventure time fanart
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Assorted Gravity Falls doodles!
#Havent posted anything in a few days cause I keep rotating too many ideas in my brain. These are just some wips. Anyway doodle notes! ->#had to draw twink!Bill okay. Being a pretty boy was like Annatar's whole Thing. & OBVIOUSLY I had to draw Celebrimbor & Annatar Billford#As many pointed out on my LOTR comic Ford would have seen the 80s Animated movies! I may do a post on my thoughts(tm) of him watching it#but to tdlr I think he missed Bashki's Movie in movie theatres and watched it with fiddleford in november 1981! :3#Anyhow was thinking about Trans!Fiddleford & the DOOMED T4T potential of Emma-may also being trans hit me like a truck. I have many thought#Stan: Quit worrying Pointdexter. not like Mabel can find ANOTHER annoyingly smart & gruff yet whimsically eccentric Grunkle to bond with#Mabel * dragging in a bedraggled 12th Doctor *: Guess what I found in the woods!#<- I think Ford should feel socially threatened/jealous and be pushed into being a better grunkle because of it <3#Second to last is PURE indulgence as I am a big Dr Who fan and the Last is Ford after watching Jackson's trilogy ;)#Gravity Falls#GF fanart#Fanart#fan art#Bill cipher#stanford pines#ford pines#grunkle ford#fiddleford mcgucket#young fiddleford mcgucket#young stanford pines#Emma-May Dixon design#doctor who#twelfth doctor#mabel pines#crossover#sketch dump#artists on tumblr#my art
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I'm not going back to Gusu with you.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#Those last two high effort comics where just a warm up for this masterpiece. My true magnum opus.#I was originally going to do this gag as a 'alternate version of comic 155'#Then I realized that they have the 'Come back to Gusu with me' conversation twice. So here we are!#I did consider having WWX say 'I'm not going back to gusu with you' in the comic for the better plot accuracy.#I'm invoking the rule of silly by having Wei Wuxian read between the lines of 'Come back to Gusu with me'.#Because it does feel like a confession! It is a confession of 'I care about your safety and I worry for what may happen.'#It is also poorly articulated. You can't really blame WWX for reading into it as 'LWJ is just another person trying to control me.'#The relationship between them is not good! It is two parties who genuinely want to be closer with each other but cannot communicate it.#You can't really have what makes these two work so well as a dynamic without the past history of:#“Back then I really wanted to be your friend.” They are a *missed connection*!#WWX reaches out and LWJ rejects him. And now when LWJ reaches out it is WWX who pushes them apart.#It is a tragedy about the consequences of being out of tandem and realizing what you want far too late.#The momentum of WWX's downfall is far to fast to reverse now. It's a 'When' not ''if' question.#Back to your normal style of PD-MDZS next update. Thank you for reading!
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i bring you: my casual clothes tankman design (and steve too) i am so normal about found family tankdad
happy pride month lol
#pico's school#tankmen#fnf fanart#fnf#fnf pico#moon art#feel free to roast me for my weird design decisions#or ask me questions abt my design decisions! pls talk to me about my art it would make me happy. my askbox is always open#tankdad#friday night funkin#pico newgrounds#pico fnf#friday night funkin'#tankman#sergeant john captain#tankmen captain#tankmen steve#steve tankmen#daddy dearest#fnf daddy dearest#newgrounds#i posted sketches of him to ng last year but he looks so much better in these that the old pics make me cringe lol#this was a lot of time and effort for what amounts to glorified doodle sheets but. listen.#had to introduce him to y'all properly before i potentially go stupid go crazy with him#cw smoking#cw alcohol#edit: yall goin nutty damn. someone on ng called him a dilf too its fucking over#1k
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anyway in the past week the irish government has voted down two motions which would have condemned the genocide in gaza.
i need everyone to stop lionising ireland as if its not also a european government with strong ties to the us. american weapons pass through shannon airport and will continue to, because yesterday the motion to stop that was voted down 83 to 50.
other governments have done much more but somehow people still act as though ireland is the ultimate palestinian ally and exempt from criticism on its handling of palestine bc it was once colonised, even though that past experience clearly isnt being taken into account by the irish government when creating policy.
i live here i know there’s a lot of public support and sympathy for palestine, which is great, but that isnt reflected in government, and i think ireland should be treated like other countries whose governments have done nothing.
#i mean i think theres also a discrepancy btwn the govt and the people on palestine bc there hasnt been a general election since early 2020#before the last few rounds of aggression by israel brought it back into mainstream western discussion#but also theres a degree of privilege in ppl not having felt the need to think abt it in 2020 yk. palestinians have been thinking abt this#since 1948#there’s also the fact that ideological support of palestine absolutely doesn’t equate to better treatment of muslims#i can promise you this country is still very islamophobic and racist no matter where you go#and i feel like that gets glossed over when ireland is treated as the ultimate ally of palestine when. realistically. it isnt#be quiet b#sorry this is like paragraphs but im becoming frustrated 👍#ive seen other posts abt this im not the first to say it they were just unrebloggable. understandably
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Rook being a very physically touchy person and Lucanis avoiding touch at all costs from built up trauma from childhood, his work as a Crow, and the Ossuary. Them always asking for Lucanis' permission to touch him, and before Tearstone Island, they hug him and he still flinches but he holds them tight
As Rook is taken into the Regret prison and they see a vision of Lucanis' body on the ground, they scream his name out of concern and fear but all Lucanis hears is them screaming for him to help, and then they're gone. They're gone. He thinks they were screaming his name, begging him to save them and now they're gone.
Weeks into Rook being taken into the Regret prison and now a man who couldn't be touched without reflexively drawing a blade is craving the warmth of his partner who he thinks he'll never see again
Lucanis pulling Rook out of the prison, knowing it's them right away because of their hands. He missed their hands, he missed their touch, he missed their warmth, he missed them.
When Rook gets back, Lucanis' touch is slow and soft, almost unbelieving. Weeks of stress and torture and pain and guilt and regret, and now they're here. Once they're finally together, he feels as though the world is in their arms and if killing a god is the only way to stay there, he will do what a Crow does best and fulfill this contract
#dragon age#the veilguard spoilers#veilguard spoilers#dragon age veilguard#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age lucanis#lucanis dellamorte#lucanis x rook#lucanis romance#rookanis#and he gets them screaming his name in a *different* way you know what I- (is shot)#just thinking about how my Rook cant go to sleep with touching her partner in some form#doesnt matter if its a toe a shoulder an elbow#as long as she has some sort of contact with her partner's body she can sleep well#not sure how i feel about that last line :/#I'll find something better later#probably#maybe
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sidelong
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#itafushi#fushiita#itadori yuuji#megumi fushiguro#i havent drawn a dedicated itfs piece in so long im a fraud dont look at me......................#i offer u pining!yuuji content. as Penance.#i feel like its usually fushiguro emotionally repressed megumi who ppl draw/make content of looking Longingly @ yuuji#and like. for good reason i mean look at him#but i feel like hopelessly-in-love-w-his-best-friend yuuji is a comparatively slept on concept#or maybe im not looking in the right places idk man#fleeting glances and longing stares and I Should Tell Him I Can't Tell Him.....OUgh#anyway i like how the pendulum seems to have hard swung back in2 me using a bunch of red#i feel like my values r so much better now tho n like. god help me im having fun painting again what has happened#it never lasts long but for rn this is probably one of my favourite things ive drawn in a minute!!!#i love u contrast i love u random bits of red i love u harsh shadows and dramatic light sources#and it didnt even take me a week this time !!!!
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Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
#destiel#dean Winchester#castiel#supernatural#spn art#Destiel art#wiggleart#spnfanart#I know it’s I got a fever of a hundred and three#but he has a temperature so he’s delirious lol#I’ve been sick the last few days so I drew this so I could feel better lol
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