#i feel better but it will not last
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mybatimblog · 2 months ago
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my head feels like TV static
tw venting i am overwhelmed this is mostly a stream of consciousness and makes only half sense
i need to spill things somewhere i hope it helps
sirry this is kind of like real life stuff
i do not have anxiety in the diagnostic sense but there is so much in my body right now its going to pour out of my eyes and i'm worried i will drown in it
there is too much going on and not enough sleep to function i can either take my medication be productive and not sleep until four hours before my alarm or allow sleep instead of work
i can only pretend to be someone else for so long to keep my mood up i can only pretend for so long until i run out of fuel and it does not help much to pretend to be "Sammy Lawrence" or "Remus Lupin" or "Bucky barnes" before the character's instabilities actually make it hard to feel better and then i am back and so tired
i can pretend to be one of my own characters but they are pieces of me and it doesn't help much
the dopamine it gives me to spend time with stuff i like doesn't help my brain is moving too fast i feel like im spinning
books and paper and paint are so expensive i didnt get a textbook until yesterday because it took me two weeks to make the decision about whether i should risk a virus and get it for $20 or spend 50 dollars more just to rent it digitally and as for the art supplies i need to buy special paper? and the project is due sooner than id like
and food is so expensive i have food but not REAL food and I cannot eat cereal and popcorn forever but i have dishes to do and its either a drive to the less expensive grocery store or a 20 minute walk to the more expensive one
ive been trying to start a patreon but have no time to make content for the patreon
sunlight never reaches my window and my apartment is very dark but if I open my windows to let light in, people can see me so easily. my plants will die soon. i got a new plant recently as a reward for working so hard this summer and im afraid its going to die and im afraid that if this were a book and some student were reporting on it they'd relate my plant's health to mine and how i may be slowly falling apart
putting the light on helps a lot but not when we pay for electric and i have to think about how expensive it is to exist
i have been trying to pay my water bill for days and watching every drop i use because the other day my tap was on for 4 hours while i was away from home but the water lady has not emailed me back
i make list after list after list and its the same tasks that i still have to do them all
last night i tried to watch Fresh because i started it two days ago and sebastian stan is candy for the brain and i did not finish the movie but i had to pay for my enjoyment because the next day i feel like THIS and it is a punishment for trying to relax
when you look up how to deal with anxiety everything is things i cannot do except for breathe and breathing is not helping its all "sleep better" and "eat better" and "exercise" and "plan a time to worry"
i would like to melt but i have so much work to do
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moncuries · 11 months ago
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guess what i watched on new years (a redraw kind of)
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akanemnon · 1 month ago
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Yeah, Kris is definitely NOT alright.
FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT
MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)
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hinamie · 3 months ago
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9 / 266
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regco-art · 2 months ago
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I recently had the pleasure of seeing the Avatar the Last Airbender In Concert and it was so beautiful 😭🧡 but it also reminded me of the “duality of Aang” thing I did earlier this year, so I couldn’t resist making a sequel 🫶
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beebundt · 3 months ago
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this is the first time back at my computer since my back injury 3 months ago and i had a hankering for some isabela 💙🗡
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cloudcastor · 2 months ago
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more mithruns…. a little more in line with the manga style
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astearisms · 1 year ago
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part of a sadness
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 3 months ago
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I'm not going back to Gusu with you.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
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wild0moon · 6 months ago
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i bring you: my casual clothes tankman design (and steve too) i am so normal about found family tankdad
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happy pride month lol
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rubysevens · 1 year ago
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anyway in the past week the irish government has voted down two motions which would have condemned the genocide in gaza.
i need everyone to stop lionising ireland as if its not also a european government with strong ties to the us. american weapons pass through shannon airport and will continue to, because yesterday the motion to stop that was voted down 83 to 50.
other governments have done much more but somehow people still act as though ireland is the ultimate palestinian ally and exempt from criticism on its handling of palestine bc it was once colonised, even though that past experience clearly isnt being taken into account by the irish government when creating policy.
i live here i know there’s a lot of public support and sympathy for palestine, which is great, but that isnt reflected in government, and i think ireland should be treated like other countries whose governments have done nothing.
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wigglebox · 2 months ago
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Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
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hinamie · 3 months ago
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bunch of portraits
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littledemo0n · 7 months ago
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So excited for the movie and definetely not at all dreading whats to come :))))
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watermeringue · 10 months ago
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slavhew · 7 months ago
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charmed, i'm sure
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