#i feel a tarantula on my back

[abessive-art]

*Archives your Magnus*

[bambeebirdie]

Alright so I just finished Earthspark and boy fucking howdy do I have opinions, but I’m not talking about those right now because I’m tired and the ending broke me in such a way I no longer care about anything.

What I would like to say though is I think Tanatulas should have been replaced with Shockwave in that on episode he had with Nightshade. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Tanatulas. He was literally so good, I loved his designs and his vibes and the only bad thing about him is that he never said his pronouns back. But really think about it. He didn’t have to be there. Earthspark spends too much time with the Maltos to really develop anyone so the more characters you add the more everything struggles.

Tanatulas showed up for one episode, he’s not even in the finale. Shockwave was there though and vaguely important, but it doesn’t make sense for him to just suddenly be okay with the Maltos. Unless he took Tanatulas role. Then his sudden willingness to help them would have made so much more sense. It also wouldn’t have been a very hard change, just as a whole, because neither Tanatulas or Shockwave are that important.

Just give Nightshade a line about how they should save Shockwave because they trust him and well everyone else acts the same.

Shockwave even fills a similar general role as Tanatulas being a weird scientist who care more about their science than the war. So it really wouldn’t be a hard switch and would make Shockwave make more sense. If you want to go further too Shockwave doesn’t even have a normal vehicle mode so he really could have given similar lines about alt modes to Nightshade.

Obviously Shockwave actual introduction episode would be different or maybe he’d just get replaced entirely but I really don’t think any of those changes would be too hard. Because again, he’s just not important enough for any changes to his character to be hard.

Tanatulas in Earthspark doesn’t validate his existence much as is. I really do love him, but he’s replaceable and just clutters an already poorly handled cast. While I think it would be cool if he was just more important they clearly didn’t want that by not even giving him a finale shot. So I do think just swapping his episode with Shockwave (and whatever other alterations are needed to make that perfect) fixes the problem with having too many underdeveloped characters since it removes one character and in the process developes another.

[foldingfittedsheets]

The location of the sex shop I worked was a haven for spiders. We had tall ceilings and skylights and unused storage rooms. It was a spider paradise. We quickly sussed out which coworkers to call on in case of emergency. The Dorito lady was a solid ally for spiders but absolutely petrified of moths.

But there’s actually a hierarchy of fear. Most people don’t realize. The person least afraid is the one forced to deal with the bug in question. If coworker B was scared, but coworker A was petrified, well coworker B was gonna have to screw their courage to the sticking place because by the law of fear they were the most competent person on scene.

Thus enters Rick. Rick first appeared in the back storage room. This room doubled as a second bathroom so we went in on a semi frequent basis. The girl who’d gone in to pee shot out again gibbering with fear about the biggest spider she’d ever seen had just run across her boot.

We sicced Dorito lady on it. She returned, shaking her head. “He was squatting on a power cord where it plugs in. I couldn’t get a clean shot at Rick.”

“Rick?”

She shrugged. “Spiders that big need a name. Seemed like a Rick.”

Rick, freshly named, became a store menace. I’d normally say this was probably a case of multiple spiders being mistaken for one but everyone who encountered him swore up and down there could be no mistake. This spider was massive, fast, and distinct. A gladiator among arachnids.

I never encountered Rick. His exploits grew in the telling but the theme was consistent: no one could kill him. He’d hunker in places that no one could reach and dart away when a strike missed. He also chased off the more faint hearted, charging them in bold dashes. There could be no benign cup transplant to remove Rick from the premise. He was not leaving.

The saga of Rick continued for two months. Not seeing him was almost worse, a fearful wariness when going to the bathroom or stepping into quieter areas. I waited with dread, hoping my eventual run in would have me on shift with Dorito lady to protect me.

It was not to be. There was a girl the same who hated my one moment of singing that was absolute piss-herself scared of spiders. She’d slam straight into a panic attack and couldn’t think or speak. And so it was that one night on shift, I heard her scream.

It was unmistakable. I was in the front window turning off the open sign. Through an obstacle course of mannequins and lingerie I performed an acrobatic sprint out of the window, darting up to find her quivering at the front counter, fully crying. I radiated calm at her and said, “Just point.”

I knew it was Rick. Our destinies were intertwined and we had always been pulled toward the inexorable battle that was drawing nigh.

Her hand raised to point to our sandwich board sign at the front of the store. So Rick had the metaphorical high ground. There was no quick easy strike on the slanted signs surface.

I armed myself and marched into battle, my knuckles white on my chosen weapon. I would do this, because I must. Because there was no one else. And because I wanted to close and go home.

I saw Rick immediately and I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen a bigger spider since. Outside of a tarantula, he was truly the most massive spider I’ve ever beheld outside a zoo enclosure or terrarium.

We regarded each other. Rick launched off the sign toward me and I stomped my foot reflexively, making him pause in his charge. Then I raised my weapon. Anything else, I believe Rick could have evaded. He’d bested most of the store thus far. But I had chosen chemical warfare.

I doused the shit out of that spider with cleaning spray, stunning him with a barrage of chemicals. While he froze, choking on the unexpected deluge, I dropped a paper towel over him. My foot came down.

I felt his exoskeleton crunch and I can feel it still to this day. The shattering was as of bones and I truly mourned that we had been forced into senseless war. If only he has cleaved tighter to the shadows. If only he’d crawled willing into a cup for relocation. I released a full body shudder of horror, fear, and adrenaline as I stepped back.

I took several quivering breaths. I donned a veneer of calm and tidied the battlefield of it’s corpse then went to reassure my coworker that all was well, while internally I still shook.

You fought well, Rick. I hope you sired many more monstrous children to haunt retail workers in the years to come. Rest in valor, you monster.

[ctrlhope]

The Pitfalls of Silk (m)

synopsis: The winter gods are out to get you. That could be the only possible explanation for the series of bad luck tumbling before you— tropical vacation cancelled, snow locking you inside. Hell, even your shovel broken in half has got to be the gods playing some sort of trick on you. Pulling you along, making decisions for you as they guide you along the red string of fate. Guide you towards the very spider that found his way into your basement. Allowing him to fall into your heart all the same. -> apart of the rest, relax, reserve series

p.jimin x f.reader

⋆𐙚┊: wc: 20.0k

⋆𐙚┊: genre: hybrid au, soft yandere, soulmate au, romance, fluff, smut, v light angst

⋆𐙚┊: content: spider hybrid!jimin (cobalt blue tarantula), human!reader, soft yandere jimin, dom!jimin, power imbalances, blood, blood kink, injury, mates / mating, stupid misunderstandings, reader is rlly bad at feelings, heat/rut cycles, jealousy, biting/marking, jimin has fangs, brat taming, light subspace, bondage, fingering, breeding / breeding kink, unprotected sex, cumplay, overstimulation, manipulation, mentions of kidnapping, mentions of venom, honestly rlly soft- jimin is just a little off his rocker, so many mentions of the word silk, jimin is soft for reader but also a little perverted freak <\3

⋆𐙚┊: notes: AHHH it’s finally here!!! I’ve had such a bad crush on spider jimin for such a long time. Creating his character over the years in my head— how exactly this type of hybrid would function was so fun for me. This fic (& the others that follow) has been spurred on by my special interest in arthropods so I hope you end up loving this jimin as much as I do <33 mwah I kiss u guys

18+ -> minors / blank blogs dni

The weather has grown cold, too harsh for anyone to live outside— survive. Burly temperatures tumbling through the air in icicles, the entire world painted in white.

While the city was still busy, your quaint neighbourhood had gone completely quiet. Everyone huddled inside, trying to keep warm while they sipped on cocoa. The worst blizzard in generations deciding to tumble through on the exact weekend you were meant to go out of town. Meant to be enjoying a tropical beach with the best of your friends!

But nooo, all of the planes had to stay grounded and you had to be stuck in your house with nothing but chilly embers decorating your fireplace.

You were pissed about it all, to say the least. Annoyed that your vacation had to be cancelled, annoyed at the fact you couldn’t stay warm in the slightest, annoyed that you had to be shovelling snow out of your driveway right now.

Well, attempting to shovel snow would be a better way to put it. In theory it seemed like the right thing to do– try and get your car out just in case, start to clear a path for when you’d finally be able to greet the outside world, triumph over whatever winter gods are trying to keep you locked in your home.

In reality, you could hardly move– three layers of pants, two coats keeping all of your joints locked down. God, and the snow. It was coming down way too hard, piling up faster than you could brush it away. Hurting your cheeks with the freezing temperatures, making your bones throb with want to go back inside.

It is safe to say that you did not succeed. That was an easy enough conclusion to come to with the two halves of your snow shovel in your hands. Eyes staring blankly at the object with utter… you don’t even know the word.

Cheeks flushed red with cold, head lifting to the sky as you blink. What the fuck! How shitty can your shovel be! What the fuck is wrong with the snow!

Okay, maybe you did buy it at the dollar store. But that isn’t the point! Where has quality gone in our nation! Caring about the consumer! Yeah, that was never there to begin with! But still! You like to think that there's a point in that somewhere!

The snow falling on your skin feels like the sky is laughing at you, mocking you. It probably is. Cancelling your trip, forcing you to stay at home into the lonely confines of your small neighbourhood.

Yeah, the world is out to get you, you’ve decided it.

A grumble leaves your throat in annoyance, quiet cusses leaving your lips as your legs try to waddle themselves inside. Layers of clothing restricting every movement you make, joints feeling stiff and bones feeling cold. You are no more than a penguin, are you?

“Stupid fuckin’ shovel, stupid fuckin’ snow…” You huff, slamming the thick oak door behind you. Hoping, in a way, that you could pretend none of the frost was there in the first place.

It’s not that you hate snow– of course not. You don’t like to hate much of anything. But when it’s this deep, this thick, you can’t help the sour mood you fall into. Can’t help the sickly feeling in your gut that it has somehow wronged you simply for existing.

Whatever, not that it matters much. You aren’t mother nature. You can’t change it or your now cancelled– most likely non-refundable plans.

What you can change? A nice warm pizza in your tummy.

You hum to yourself, tapping off your boots before ridding yourself of them entirely. Soon follows your jackets, puddles of water quickly forming on the floor where it falls. Snow melting much too fast now that it is in the warmth of your home.

You stare at it in spite, another way mother nature has wronged you today.

You know what? No, not your problem right now. That is a problem for you later today! The wood would be fine. And if it isn’t?

…

You groan, throwing your head back as you move to the bathroom. The battle of opposing forces inside of your head has won again– being responsible, doing the right thing.

Your hand snatches a towel, “Stupid shovel… stupid snow…” You huff, kneeling on the ground to wipe away the liquid that pooled.

You hang the towel back in the bathroom for it to dry before finally making your way to the kitchen. To finally make the frozen pizza you want– no deserve! Yeah, you’ve had a hard day today, being an adult is too hard sometimes. You deserve a little treat don't you?

Feet scuffling against the floor, fluffy socks dragging along the surface allowing you to quickly slip against the tiled floor. Your hips sway, a quiet hum leaving your lips as your hands move diligently, efficiently. Placing the pizza in the oven, setting the timer, flipping the switch on on the kettle.

Everything happens with practised ease. With movements that leave no room for error. Careful, efficient, the way your parents always taught you. The right way.

If you do everything correctly, things will never go wrong. You’ll never have to worry. When everything is in your control, everything is perfect and content.

It’s too bad the right way never accounts for things out of your control. When the world causes you to tense and get annoyed– when it doesn’t behave the way it's supposed to, like you want it to. Just like stupid shovels and a winter storm no one predicted.

But hey, at least you still have power. Your backup generator is there if you need it. Can still watch your dramas and eat warm food. Keep yourself sane while the insane persits just outside of your door.

Lonely, lonely, lonely winter storm~ whatever shall you do~

Your head begins to sing to itself while you wait. Maybe you already were going insa–

Bang.

What the fuck was that?

Your eyes instantly dart to the basement door wide with fear– the source of the sound.

A crash, a quiet cry, a scurry all sound in quick succession. Too loud to miss. Too loud to ignore. Too distinct to place on anything else.

You know winter noises. The crash of shutters against the window, the influx of snow on glass. The beating of hail against the roof or the creaking of pipes chilled from the cold. The noises you just heard? None of the above. They couldn’t possibly be. They weren’t. They were too… too…

Human.

Shit, shit. Is someone in your basement?! Oh god, oh fuck.

The room, it freezes over.

Your pulse starts to race– hairs raise, stand on end. Breath filtering through your nose as you start to panic. Fingers grip the countertop as you try to ground yourself. Try to figure out a way to escape this.

If horror movies have taught you anything– it’s how to run. Grab everything you can, high tail it out before you become victim to the unknown lurking just below the surface of your floorboards. Before you can be possessed or worse, chased down by some mass murdering clown.

That would be the smart thing to do– the wise thing. To get out of your house as quickly as possible, call the police to investigate it for you before you have to become the ‘final girl’ of a movie franchise of your own.

But the storm, the storm would never allow for the right thing.

The police would never make it in time, the roads far too hazardous to truly reach you. If they did, you would already have frostbite from the cold outside by the time they made it. You might be worse off than before–

At least, that’s what you tell yourself. The reasoning formulated in your head as you grab a broom from the closet, slowly make your way to the basement door. Completely ignoring the nagging feeling in your gut, the one that tells you that you actually want to travel down the stairs. A string tugging you along a path predetermined, forcing you to forego anything you had thought before.

No, your line of reasoning had to be the object pulling you down those stairs, creaking with every slow, nagging step that you take. It could never be curiosity, a want to understand the unknown guide leading you astray from the dirt road you’ve taken time and time again.

The right road that would lead to the right solution is all but forgotten in this moment. Only adrenaline spurring you on, fingers clenching and unclenching around the broom handle in your grip. Fingers tied so tight around the metal that your knuckles may as well be white.

You're terrified– scared out of your mind. The only noise passing through the drums of your ears is your own pulse, the accelerated beat of your heart as you try to clear the fog that dances over your brain. Fear must be clouding your judgement, making you follow it blindly into the light; well, dark.

Your breath leaps from your chest in short pants, eyes haphazardly harding around your form as you make it to the bottom of the stairs. Something is keeping your legs moving when all your brain wants to do is turn back and run. Call the authorities like you should be doing instead of risking everything to satiate the incessant need pulling at the back of your skull. Acting on instincts alone, allowing the string of fate to tug you around the corner. The urge to investigate is stronger than anything you had ever felt before. Anything you’ve ever wanted to feel before.

He sees you before you see him.

“P-please..” The quiet, almost non-existent voice sends a chill down your spine. One you were not expecting in the slightest.

Terrified, panicked. Shaking like a leaf, eyes welled with tears. It’s almost like he knew you were coming down all along, just… didn’t know what to do about it. Too scared to move, too scared to hide. Too scared to do anything but sit there and wait.

Just as petrified as you.

Nothing about the scene before you is making much sense at all. Not to you, at least. Why is he so scared? Why is he in your home? Why isn’t he doing anything but sitting there with pleading, helpless eyes? You try to take everything in, try to fit the pieces of the picture together.

Basement window opened slightly, just enough to allow the man— was he a man? To climb inside. Pretty blonde hair completely dishevelled on his head, grime coating what you know would be such pretty locks. Eyes with double pupils brimmed with tears threatening to spill at any second. Pink plush lips quivering with worry, fangs biting into them so hard you fear they may bleed. No, they are bleeding.

He is definitely not a man. Nor is he a beast. An intoxicating swirl of the two combined into a species of hybrid you’ve never seen before.

The first thought in your head is one it shouldn’t be. One that makes your heart stop for entirely different reasons than before. Makes you drop the broom in your hands, allowing it to fall to the ground with a clatter. Defences dropped completely in the face of the stranger before you.

He only flinches at the noise, blood covered hands reaching in panic to cover his all too sensitive ears.

Any worries have left you– something seeded deep within your soul tells you he isn’t a threat in the slightest. Not to you, at least. Never to you. Maybe it is the same string as before pulling you along. Pulling you to what destiny has provided.

He is absolutely gorgeous. Even with the grime and his pale complexion from the cold you can tell that easily. He might just be the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen, and you find lost in yourself what to do about it.

What is anyone meant to do when a drop dead gorgeous hybrid enters their home in the middle of a blizzard? Just as scared as you were moments before? Looking like he might freeze to death if you don’t–

Holy shit he must be frozen solid.

It’s only then that you come to your senses, your eyes racking over him once more as you take in all of him for more than just the beauty he brings.

His clothes are thin– far too thin for this weather at least. Tattered on the edges, few stains spotting the fabric, though its clear effort was spent trying to get them out. Your mind wants to wonder why he would worry about that, worry about making himself appear presentable, but raking your vision down you know there is no time for it. Not with the blood on his palms or the red of his flesh.

Your body moves quicker than your brain can think, crouching down in front of him. Noticing the way he flinches once more, the fear in his eyes more palpable, hurting worse than a gunshot wound.

The constriction of your chest is dumb, or at least it should be. Feels almost benign, unfounded. You just met him, you're scaring him, but for an unexplainable reason you wish you could take all of his worry away just for that moment. Make him feel a little better, a little warm. A little safe.

“It’s okay… it’s okay…” Your voice mumbles, trying to soothe him or yourself, you’re not entirely sure.

“I-I’m sorry… pl-please don’t.. It’s just so cold… Please…” He begs, though neither of you are sure what for. Not to hurt him, not to send him back outside. All you know is the tears that now flow from his eyes, cresting along his cheeks, dripping to the floor.

“Not going anywhere…” You hope your voice sounds stronger than you feel, hope he can’t hear the way the strings of your heart break, hope he hears how much you care in your tone all along, “Trust me a little okay…?”

You know your words mean nothing, that it might have been an impossible task for him to do so. But you had to try. Had to hope.

It should be hard for you to trust him too, it should be hard to rectify your fear in the face of the one who had caused it. It isn’t the right thing– none of this is the right thing, but it all just comes too easily. Compassion, caring takes over the anxiety too easily. Too brilliantly to do anything else other than care for this hybrid that has wound up at your door.

He was just a scared hybrid doing whatever he needed to to survive. Terrified out of his mind that he would freeze or starve out there– probably had no burrow or… you’re not sure, honestly, what his home might be like. But no home nevertheless. You could never just send another person out there to die.

He stiffens as you reach out for him, gently take his hands in your own. They feel like ice, frozen solid. You don't want to acknowledge what could have happened to them if he was out there any longer.

Without thinking you raise them to your lips, blowing on them as best you can. Trying to do anything to get the blood flowing again before you take him upstairs. Warm him up properly. Make him feel like more than a snowman once again.

You don’t notice the way his form completely loses all stress as you touch him for the first time, speak to him the first time. He feels transfixed on your voice– it had to be too sweet to be real. But you were too focused on your mission. Too focused on making sure the man who has broken into your home is okay to notice the way his lips part slightly at your tone.

You don’t notice the way his breath hitches, the way all of his hair stands on edge as a current runs through his body, breathing life into every pore he possesses. Nor the way his eyes widen, losing their will to cry as he stares at you.

Don’t notice the recognition on his face.

You don’t notice a lot of things he does that day. Too focused on getting him into a warm shower– one he was very confused by, you might add. Too focused on getting a warm meal in his belly. Too focused on getting him in nice, clean clothes. A set that will properly keep him warm.

You could worry about other things later. But this felt right. This felt like something you were always meant to do. Or maybe that was just the size of your heart talking– you could never be too sure. But you liked to think it was the former. Liked to hope that Jimin, who you later learned was a spider hybrid, was always meant to come tumbling through your window, into your life for good.

The days that follow are easy– falling into a rhythm with him, taking care of him is just too simple. As basic as breathing, maybe.

Though, it hasn’t exactly been hard with how much he sleeps. How deep he’s nestled in your bed, blankets piled on top of him to drown out any chills that may attempt to slip into his bones. It’s almost like hibernation– if you could describe it. Re-building his energy, making himself feel strong again before he faces the world.

You can’t blame him, honestly. Not after everything he’s been through. Only god knows how long he had been out there. How long he had to brave the snowstorm, the cold weather that previewed it as well. You would probably do the same thing. Hide yourself from everything that hurt you.

Most days you wish you could be doing the exact same thing as him. Hide under a pile of blankets and forget the rest of the world exists. But the voice of your parents would always nag you out of it, force you to be human with the rest of society because it's the right thing.

You humph, gently placing a plate of food on the bedside table. Let him occupy your room for as long as he needs, preparing meals for him even though he never touches a bit of it. It’s the least you can do with his condition.

You don’t think you’ve ever wanted to stop someone's pain so badly. You hope you can by just doing small things like this. You sigh, heading for the door once again. Another day on the couch.

“Human…?” His voice is quiet, almost non-existent as he calls for you. Cracking slightly, the first time he's spoken in days.

You quickly turn to face him and almost want to fall to your knees at the sight. Fluffy blonde hair peeking from just below the covers, doll eyes peering at you while the rest of him stays hidden beneath the surface. Does he know how destructive he is?

Wait, no. Now isn’t the time to be thinking about this. He’s letting his defences down, actually talking to you. Stop it.

“Hmm?” You gently call back, glued to your spot in the doorway. You don’t know what he would do if you moved, how startled he may be because of it. You want to talk to him– to find answers.

“What time is it…?” He slowly asks, pacing his question. You notice a slight lisp behind his words– how much of an effort he puts to cover it up.

“Mmm.. about 1? I made myself some lunch so I was just stopping by.” You explain, trying to justify your presence in the room.

“Oh.” He looks beneath the blankets, eyes darting around the room, “Okay. Thank you.”

It seems neither of you are great conversationalists, awkward air passing between the space left between your bodies. You don’t blame him. You don’t know what you would be thinking, feeling if you were in the same place as him. If you didn’t really know what your fate was going to be.

“How are you feeling?” You ask quietly, playing with your fingers to distract from the nerves that you feel. As much as you want to jump, pin him down and ask every single thing your heart begs for, you know that isn't the right thing to do. You know you should be slow, careful with this. At least, that's what the articles online have told you.

“Better…” His voice comes out smoother this time, finally coming out of sleep as he sits up in the bed. Gently taking the plate into his lap, scrunching his nose. “It’s not cold in here like out there.”

You can’t help but smile to yourself. He seems so relaxed, so at ease. Not scared in the slightest of you or what you may do. You forget all about the fact that you should probably be scared of him too.

“Not really,” You smile gently, eyes glancing at the window as he starts to eat, “I was really worried about you, scared me bad.”

You don’t see the flush that covers his cheeks.

“I-I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to… your window was the first one I could get through and I knew I couldn’t take the storm anymore so I–”

“Hey, It’s fine.” You turn your attention back to him, “I’m just glad you’re okay, yeah? It must’ve been terrifying out there.”

“It was.” He doesn’t hesitate in answering in the slightest, eyes serious as they focus on you. They’re beautiful, really. His eyes.

“I’m sorry…”

He shakes his head, “Not your fault human, I left the reserve. My fault.” He tells you in earnest, wanting you to believe it with every piece of your soul that you could never do anything to hurt him, “Come sit?”

The question is quiet, but you oblige nonetheless. Legs moving you slowly, perching at the end of the bed to face him. Kicking your legs slightly as you stare at the pattern of your sweats.

“The reserve?” You ask, turning slightly to face him. His face is suddenly smiling, nodding at your question. He must like the place a lot, see it as home for him to become so excited.

“Yeah! Where I live,” He explains, continuing to shovel food into his mouth as he speaks, “They say humans can't hurt you there, you get to hunt like in the wild too.”

He hums, content in talking about the one place he has ever found comfort in, found friends in. You can’t help but smile as he speaks, too.

“Yeah? It sounds really nice.” He’s nodding his head once again, as quickly as he can.

“There are lots of other arthropods to play with there. Lot’s of food. Sometimes the humans that visit will give you some too, but they’re normally scared of me.” He suddenly looks serious, eyes coming to meet yours once again, “You’re not scared of me, right?”

You jerk your head back, brows furrowing together in confusion. How could someone be scared of someone like Jimin? You’ve only known him for a matter of days and you doubt that you could ever be.

“Of course not.” You tell him, gently reaching a hand over to place on his knee. He doesn’t flinch away like you expect him to. “You just needed some help, we all need help sometimes.”

He smiles, the serious demeanour retracting from his face in an instant. Back to smiling down at his food happily. The silence doesn’t feel as awkward anymore, at least you don't think it does. It makes you happy, stretching on as he continues to eat like a man starved. He probably is, days of not eating and only sleeping.

“Why did you leave it?” You tilt your head, staring out the window once more. Few snowflakes trickle against the blue sky, “I mean, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. But I figure if we’re going to be together through the storm–”

“You’re not gonna kick me out?” His face is awestruck, fork dropping to the plate in surprise. What is he talking about? Kick him out? In this weather?

You quickly shake your head, hand slowly pulling itself back from your knee. He whines in protest, quickly trying to force himself back under your heat. The touch of your hand warmed him up more than anything else in this room– more than the blankets, more than the heater or the warm towels.

His hand tangles itself with your own, pulls you back to his covered knee. Keeps your hand in place with his own while he uses the other to eat. Good. This is better. He likes it when you touch him. The way your small hand feels wrapped in his own.

Makes the tips of his fingers tingle, warmth spread throughout his skin. This is right. This is good.

“Why would I kick you out?” You ask in disbelief, either unnoticing or uncaring to the way he holds your hand– he’s unsure. Not that it matters much! “It’s too cold for anyone out there. I wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to you.”

He smiles, the pit of his stomach only warming more at your words, “Good.”

“We have to wait for the snow to melt to drive you ba–” He cuts you off once again, not wanting to think about going back. At least not without you.

“My friend Taehyung leaves a lot,” He begins to explain, fingers squeezing your own as his palm lays heavy against the back of your hand, “He always talks about how fun it is. All the cool things he gets to see, you know?”

He places his plate to the side while he talks, licking one of his fangs gently. You don’t want to think about how handsome he looks while he does such an action.

“So I wanted to try it out, but we’re not really supposed to leave, you know? ‘Cause then we’re not protected.” You nod along, “And I don’t really have wings to fly out so… I had to wait until they weren’t really paying attention.”

“And that just happened to line up right before the snowstorm was supposed to hit.” You finish for him and he nods, looking down at his lap, “That has gotta be such shitty luck, Jimin. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s really not, you just wanted to go out and experience new things and you almost ended up dead.” You frown at him, trying to get the man to understand the gravity of what may have happened. He simply shakes his head, plush lips tilted into a small smile just for you.

“I said it’s okay.” He tries to make you believe it, leaning closer. Feeling nothing like the stranger he was only days before. “I got to meet you, so it was all worth it.”

Mate. Mate. Mate.

Jimin has a mate that he’s going to be with someday. Someone he’s going to fall in love with. Someone he’s meant to be with, be happy with for the rest of his life. Someone that isn’t you. You really need to accept that and move on from this stupid fucking crush you’ve developed. One that will amount to nothing but heartbreak.

All hybrids have them– Jimin is not excluded from that. You know it’s true. Know it’s so true that you can hardly breathe but he just makes it so easy, too fucking easy to fall for him.

He takes care of the house, cleans it for you whenever there is a mess. Does the dishes after dinner. Takes out the trash. Tells the spiders in the yard not to mess with you– okay, you’re not entirely sure he does that last one. But he is adamant he can speak to them, and who are you to rain on his little spidey parade.

As the seasons change and the months pass, he only makes it easier and easier. Fitting into your life like he was the only piece missing. Filling in all of the bits and pieces you never knew you needed, wrapping silk around your heart and pulling it tight before you could ever think about letting him go.

Even as the months heat and his deep blue roots grow out from his bleached hair, he has no desire to the place he once called home. The reserve quickly pushed aside every time you try to bring it up. Saying he likes it better here, that this is now his home.

To be honest, nothing makes you more happy. Nothing in the world could possibly make you feel better than Jimin. His little webs he places in the corners, the soft way he clings to you when he becomes needy, the way he likes to show you any bugs he catches before he eats them. You’re not sure you could continue in your life without it.

Yet still, still. You’re not sure if this is right. The right thing, the right way to go about it all.

You often fear that you’re keeping him from what he really wants, if he actually wants to go back but feels indebted to you in some way. If that’s the only reason he actually sticks around.

You worry you’re being selfish in that regard. And then once again you find yourself spiralling into the void of questions you could never have answered. Feelings that will always be unaccounted for because Jimin has a mate.

Or at least, will have one. Someday. And you’re not sure if you could handle that day coming. Not in the warm heat of spring, flowers blooming alongside feelings for an arachnid that has entered your life.

One that has no intention of leaving your side anytime soon, if he has anything to say about it.

But nothing, nothing in the world could prepare you for this. What could prepare the thrum of your heart or the butterflies in your tummy? You never expected him to hold you this close, keep your body pressed against his own in the small space of the coat closet. Keep his face tucked away in your neck, whining in pain at something you could never think to discern.

So quickly you were pulled away, without a second to waste you were dragged onto his lap. One second kicking off your shoes, covered in mud from gardening, the next a hand wrapped around your wrist, pulling you into the dark confines. Only Jimin there to cover up your scream, lips delicately pressed to your ear uttering a quiet please. Voiced laced with a whine so pained you couldn’t help but join him without a second to spare.

A thought to think– a debate on whether this is right to do or not, for yourself and your own heart.

“Min? Min, what’s wrong?” It’s the only thing you can think to ask, pulling him away from your neck, making his head face your own. Hands gently cupping either cheek as your eyes attempt to make out the features of his face.

It’s too dark, you can’t see anything. The only answer he gives is in the form of a pained groan, not even his eyes reaching you through the darkness. You start to panic, feel the nerves along your spine light up in trepidation.

He’s hurt. He has to be. What happened? Is he okay? He’s never acted like this before. Not with you. Never before has he seemed so hurt, so dishevelled save for the night you first met him.

Just before this the two of you were gardening, mid-morning sun shining bright overhead. A light breeze passing through the trees keeping the two of you cool. That was it! He only went inside a few minutes before you, a few minutes alone and he was already hurt this bad.

Oh god, you never want him to hurt. To be in pain. It hurts your heart just as bad as it hurts him, if not worse.

You’ve fallen a lot farther than you thought.

“Min, let me just turn on the lights okay? Let me see what’s wrong.” You try to coax him, try to kneel from his lap to reach the string above you. Panic flooding through you as he keeps you snug, keeps you from helping him.

You stop your struggle, veins running cold as he lets out a sharp, violent hiss. A sound he’s never made before, never dare uttered towards you– around you in general. It leaves you nervous, scared for entirely different reasons than before.

But one thing is clear from the way his fingers dig into the skin of your wrist almost painfully. The same wrist that was reaching for the string. He doesn’t want you to turn on the light.

“Okay…okay I won’t…” You tell the arachnid, slowly lowering yourself back onto his lap. Letting go of the struggle, letting go of the resistance. It isn’t what he needs right now, isn’t what he wants.

His grip loosens, arms returning to their place around your waist. Holding you close. Keeping you in his arms. His face nuzzles back into your neck, inhaling deeply with every breath he takes. Smelling you. Imprinting the memory of it in his brain.

“What if I use my flashlight…? Would that be okay?” Once again, the response is a much short, quieter hiss. A lot less defensive, angry than the first. Just a sign of dismissal.

“Okay…” You say quietly, bringing one arm behind him to gently run through his hair. Scratching his scalp in a way that always has him preening, “Can you please tell me what's wrong? So I can help…? Please…”

Your voice is quiet, almost a beg as you ask him. He squeezes your body tighter in response. Would’ve basked in the tone you gave him if not for the pounding behind his eyelids. Still, he knows if he’s going to get you to stay, he has to talk. No matter how much it hurts.

A whine leaves his lips, nose running along the column of your neck as he tries to scent you, “Hurts.”

He answered, his voice shaky and quiet, but it gives you nothing.

“I know Min, I know…” You hush quietly, trying to consol something that you do not have the answer to. Your other hand slowly starts to soothe up and down his back, trying to relax the poor boy enough to speak.

“The light. Hurt eyes. Head Hurts.” He gruffs out, burying his face into your skin to block out any other source that he could.

Your lips part in a soft ‘o’ as the picture becomes clear to you. Staying outside too long, helping you in the garden had come at a cost to the poor spider in the form of a splitting headache.

How could you have been so dumb to let him help you? The articles you’ve read, the pieces you’ve tried to put together to understand the man in your life– they told you as much. How delicate some species' eyes could be but… Jimin never seemed to have that issue before. Never mentioned it, anyway. He doesn’t mention a lot about himself.

You frown.

“Min, I’m so sorry…”

He only grumbles in reply, blunt nails digging into the back of your shirt to keep himself grounded. To keep his head from pounding any louder.

“Let me– Let me go get you some Ibuprofen, yeah?” You hope the sound of your voice isn’t making everything worse. If it does, he doesn’t say anything, only shaking his head, burrowing it further under your hair.

“Just… stay.” He sighs in defeat, shoulders relaxing as he holds you close. He doesn’t need medicine. He doesn’t need anything else. He just needs you. Why can’t you understand that?

“I’ll–” You breathe, trying to force the flush of your cheeks to disappear. He can see in the dark, you know that much. You wouldn’t want him seeing this. The effect he has over you. Doesn’t he know how dangerous he is?

“I’ll stay.”You sigh in defeat, unaware to the pride that blooms in his chest at the battle won. The quiet chirp from his throat that he has you here, with him. Where you’re meant to be.

Hours pass just like that, just the two of you wrapped in each other's arms. No words spoken but quiet requests to know the other is okay. That the other is safe. Even as your muscles begin to cramp, bones start to become sore you don’t dare to move. Don’t dare to do a thing when you are the only one that matters to him right now.

Jimin makes it so easy to pretend.

Especially as his migraine begins to lift, as the conversation between two souls becomes more frequent. As he moves your body to the side so your head can rest against his chest. As his fingers smoothe over the skin of your thigh, rubbing gentle, comforting circles into your flesh.

“And then Namjoon, you know how bad a flyer he is, ran straight into the director of the park. Made her spill her whole coffee all over.” He smiles to himself as he tells the story of the bee hybrid, eyes heavy as he looks down at your form. So cute and small, “and you know what he said?”

You shake your head, “what?”

“‘You need some honey?’” He recites, dipping his voice in a deeper octave to mimic what you can only assume to be Namjoon’s. His voice falling into quiet giggles, you quickly follow suit. Laughing at stories of friends, feeling at home in the dark closet.

You don’t care how long the two of you have been in there. Only that he isn’t in pain anymore.

“I’m glad you’re okay now.” You tell him, eyes feeling heavy, the soothing tremor of his voice vibrating in his chest making your head start to fog. Inklings of sleep slipping into your frame. Head lulling back against him, looking up at him with sleepy eyes.

He nods, his throat constricting at just how perfect you look there, fingers teetering on the brink of digging into your skin once more. “Feeling a lot better… my vision is still a little spotty but it's okay.”

You pout. He has to hold back a coo. Too cute. Do you even know how cute you are when you get like this? Probably not.

“No, it’s not okay. I should have known. Told you to go back inside so you don’t get hurt. I don’t like it when you get hurt.”

His heart pounds once, twice before he releases a shaky exhale. Do you know what you do to him when you talk like that? When you show him just how much you care?

The level of restraint he has, it has to be impressive. If he was Taehyung, he would have taken you right there. Wrapped your arms in webs so you couldn’t move. Mate you without a second thought.

Seriously, what did you think you were doing? Talking to him like that? Making him feel like he’s going insane, a few short strings from breaking free and just taking you to his nest. Keeping you there.

You can’t say things like that to him. Not with how innocent you look, with how terribly he already wants you.

A harsh breath comes out of his nose as he forces the thoughts away. He’s not Taehyung. He’s not going to take you for his own selfish desires alone. No, he’s going to keep lulling you into his web like he knows you want. Knows you need. Keep being a good little spider for you.

“I should have told you.” He says quietly, lips coming down to place a gentle kiss on your forehead, “Couldn’t have known my species is sensitive like that.”

You hum in quiet annoyance, “Still… read online about some glasses that can help some insects manage light… should have bought them.”

A courting gift? No no, you don’t know what that is. No matter what his spider screams he knows that isn’t true.

He sighs, he needs a distraction. Something to calm the voice in his head screaming at him to kiss you.

Your leg kicks out gently as he starts, feeling like nothing but a feather tickling across your skin. Gentle silks laying across the surface from his wrists, spinnerets hard at work to produce the webbing he places on your thigh.

He huffs quietly, a smirk of a laugh coming out as he moves your leg back, “Tickles?” He asks, an amused lilt present in his voice. Oh god, he’s going to start teasing you again. He loves teasing you.

“What are you doing?” You ask quietly, eyes glancing down to where his fingers move expertly. Thread after thread moving through his fingers, decorating your skin as he draws pictures. Paints flowers, sunsets, anything he can think of really across the canvas of your thigh.

“Just drawing… calms me down.” Marking you, claiming you. Showing every other arthropod that this one is his, this one is Jimins’. Well, at least for the next 3 days when the stick wears off. “Do you want me to stop?”

A tingle runs through your spine as he works, eyes not able to leave his hands for even a second. Your stomach swarms with what has to be a hive of bees, your core bubbling with something you don’t want to describe or think about.

You just hope he can’t smell you. Can’t hear the race of your heart, the increase in breath. The flush on your cheeks that travels all the way to your ears.

He can.

“N-no… It’s okay. I want you to feel better so… do what you need to do.” You mumble, trying to get your feelings to calm down before you fully lose it.

You have to buy those glasses.

Being a spider is just too difficult!

At least that’s what Jimin has told you time and time again over the past 8 months you’ve spent with him. Cold, icy months blossoming into the summer heat with him by your side. With him making residence in your home, cementing his place in your life without any regards for going back to his original home.

It’s too hard for him out there anyway! People at the park think you’re scary so they won’t give you any snacks, security removes your webs when they become too prominent around the landscape. Something about having to “give other spiders a chance” and them “taking up too much space.”

Can you believe them?! All the time and effort he put into his pretty webs, gone in a flash! The strain the sun caused his eyes, the pounding headaches he endured stringing up pieces of silk along the trees, creating a beautiful orchestra of white to claim his territory.

Thank god he doesn’t have to deal with that anymore, at least. Ever since you bought him those sunglasses, making webs outside has never been easier. Catching prey so much easier than ever before.

You don’t think you’ll ever get used to the sight of him eating the bugs he catches, but who are you to yuck his yum? You know all of the things he’s had to endure as a spider. Everything he’s convinced the world hates him for simply based on his breed alone. The least you can do is show kindness around his diet.

That’s how you end up rubbing his back in soothing circles time and time again, fangs piercing a stuffed animal or piece of fruit– anything he can get his hands on really, as he whines, flinches as he spits out all of his venom.

His venom is one of the worst things he’s had to deal with, you’ve learned. It builds up behind his teeth, waiting to be used on a waiting victim when there is no such thing. No exit point for the liquid to flow.

His fangs begin to ache, begging to pierce something just to release all of the pent up tension in his gums. It hurts too bad, too much to just keep it inside. So once a month, you find yourself in the same position, trying to help him relieve the aggression with soothing, gentle words as he spits the venom out in a way you can only imagine is unsatisfying. Leaving his fangs sensitive and achy for days to come.

In general, his fangs seem to be a point of special contention within the hybrid. They’re too pointy, cause too many issues. The extended canines digging into his plush lower lip just a little too hard making every movement just a little too uncomfortable. God, and he has to worry about brushing them to perfection– keep them pretty for his mate.

At least, that’s what he tells you.

The rest of the world hurts him. You don’t.

Today especially. At least that's what you can assume by the stretch of his arms, the whine bubbling from the back of his throat. His arms reaching for your form, beckoning you, calling you to join him on the couch. All worked up, acting like a wounded puppy that needs nursing just to get your attention.

It always works. Always will.

Some would say he’s become more pushy— more desperate for your attention, forcing it from your grasp without realizing it yourself. That’s what your friends have told you. How easily you fit into the palm of his hand with no more than a simple gesture coaxing you forward into his sweet embrace, never noticing the glares he sends others who enter your home.

No, you would deny all of it. Listen when he tells you that you don’t need your friends anyway. It just feels so good to be needed by him, wanted by him in a way you can never have him. In whatever way he’s willing to give.

r weakness than ever before. No matter how much you’ve tried to avoid it, how much you’ve tried to do the right thing and shove the stupid, pesky feelings down, he’s managed to twist himself into the confines of your heart. Filling a deep hole inside with his pretty silks and crooked little teeth. Takes up a lot more space then you’d ever be willing to admit. Not to him, anyway. Not when he could find his mate any day now.

You’ve been thinking about it more and more lately– the prospect of his mate. It’s difficult not to when he treats you so kindly. When he creeps in your bed at night to cold you, when he reaches out for your comfort alone. When he graces your neck with his fangs his lips–

You drop the dishes back in the sink, shoving your thoughts back into the deep dark recesses of your mind. Maybe if you can be his comfort for now, that will be enough. Even if it isn’t right.

Maybe that’s just how far you’ve fallen, how much he’s tangled you in his embrace. Not that it matters much, you smile all the same. Abandoning your task on only his third whine and fourth dramatic roll of the night. Giving in is so easy when it’s him.

But! It’s a new record for how long you’ve held out! Even got two stomps out of him. You should be proud of yourself.

Maybe you are, though it's for different reasons entirely as Jimin grabs at your wrists, pulling you down beside him. Nudging his face into the crook of your neck with a quiet, pained whine.

You like to ignore those other reasons. They’ll only hurt more if you face them head on. But it's hard to, so hard when he’s this close. When he’s holding you like you may just be the very thing from shattering his world apart.

Or maybe you’re over thinking things.

Yeah. It’s probably that.

“Y/n…” You feel his lips ghost your neck as he whines, wiggling slightly in discomfort.

His duality is always impressive, has been making your brain go a little haywire since he first moved in, since he became more comfortable in your presence. Letting you see him for what he really is. Always playing so cute, so pliant when he needs something– attention, food, for you to just give in and give him what he wants.

Other times he acts as if he could be the reincarnation of Arachne herself. Beautiful, deceptive. Terrifyingly aware of how attractive he is to the human eye. You think he does it on purpose. Likes to see your head spin as you try to keep up with which apparition of Jimin you will experience that day.

He doesn’t know how dangerous it can be, especially for you. How easy it can be to believe that it's real and not just the flirt of his personality. At least you have cute Jimin for now. It’s a little easier to manage.

“You okay Minnie? Something happen?” Your arm reaches up for where he clings to it, fingers gently petting through his fluffy blonde hair. The action seems to soothe him, make him almost pur from the feeling of your fingers alone. Make him feel the slightest bit better from whatever might be irritating him.

He forces his wrists onto your lap, nuzzles his face further into your neck. Inhale all the scents you have to offer. Let you see the issue of spiders.

The tiny holes of his spinnerets come into view, red and inflamed. Shit. They have to be hurting. The skin jutting out slightly more than it should be. Pretty strings of silk hanging in a messy manner. Clogged glands always hurt. Always make for issues.

You frown at the sight, delicately taking his wrist into your hand, looking at it closer. No, not too bad you have to take him to the doctor… you can handle it fine. But it won’t feel good, it never does. Dummy must’ve gotten too excited while webbing up the basement again, got his poor spinnerets working too hard. Overproducing silk to the point it has nowhere to go.

“Min!” You whine, already grabbing a pair of tweezers from the side-table– you’ve learned it’s always good to have a pair on-hand. “I told you that you gotta be more careful!”

“I know!” He hisses almost pathetically, “Just got ahead of myself!”

His voice is no more than a grumble, turning his head away from you yet not pulling away in the slightest. Pretending he hates when you scold him, when you show just how much you care about him.

You pretend it isn’t cute in much the same way.

“Always end up getting ahead of yourself,” You sigh dramatically, acting as if having to take care of the arachnid bothers you more than it actually does. Truth be told, you don’t care in the slightest. Who knows, maybe it even makes you preen in delight.

Feeling wanted as your fingers try to be as gentle as possible while removing the silk. Pulling out the little pieces strand by strand, work out the knot it's made under the skin to try and bring him some relief.

Though, no matter how careful you may be, he still flinches in pain all the same. Trying to cover it up like it was nothing, like every poke and prod doesn’t hurt. Like he can be tough under your gentle hands and pained gaze. He knows it has to be done and no matter how much you hate to see him in pain, you do too.

The dull ache will grow worse and worse, could even turn into an infection if you don't handle it as fast as possible. Worst case? He may have to have his spinnerets removed completely. A fate that feels worse than death to a spider hybrid– or so you’ve read at least.

Soon after he came into your life you did everything in your power to learn as much about his species as possible. Scoured webpage upon webpage, blog post on blog post, youtube video after youtube video. Even went down the sticky threads of a reddit rabbithole to try and learn everything about him.

The only thing you found: how horrible arthropod hybrids are treated in your society. Either sold at auction for absurd prices or cast aside completely depending on how “inhuman” they look. How they are used as tools to show wealth or are discarded from the rest of the world completely. The notion alone had pissed you off to no end.

Jimin was a member of the latter group– or at least that’s what you assumed. From behind no one would be able to tell he was any less than human. His lack of multiple limbs or fluttering wings left him to the devices of the reserve. Probably cast aside, dropped off by the people that raised him for not providing anything that went along with their definition of ‘value’.

Your eyes pinch into a quiet glare. They’re just fucking stupid. Anyone could see that Jimin is perfect. Anyone could see that he did not deserve the treatment he's received, nor deserved to be in the state he was in when you first found him.

And while you’re glad he didn’t end up with anyone else, still didn’t end up in an auction house like many others had, you hate them for thinking they could define his value. That they could define him for more than what he lacked. He still has beautiful fangs. Still has beautiful eyes and his natural cobalt-blue hair. He is still perfect to you.

A sharp hiss leaves his lips, arm attempting to jerk back from your hold as your grip tightens just a hair too hard. As you accidentally tug on a far too sensitive part of the knot. Getting a little too lost in your head while your fingers pick away diligently. Trying to ease the pain as fast as you can.

“Human!” He whines, quickly shushed by a flurry of apologies leaving your mouth. Face flushed, panic in your eyes as he admonishes you.

Once again you’re reminded all too well of how far you’ve fallen for him. Heart racing, brain yelling at itself for hurting him.

It’s dumb, you know that. Everything about the schoolgirl crush you’ve formed on him is. But it doesn’t stop the frown on your lips, the gentle rub of your fingers into his skin as you try to make it up to him.

A quiet grumble leaves his lips, heart hurting at the little dejected expression you wear. He forgives better than he forgets, moving his arms back to the pillow propped on your lap, allowing you to continue your work.

A pout stays on his lips as he watches your hands move. Watches the way the tweezers move under the thin layer of skin. Watches the way you move softer now, taking your time with him. Trying your utmost to not hurt him again.

To you it feels far too intimate. To him, it leaves him almost feral.

“Been working really hard on them lately, haven’t you?” Your voice sounds, trying to distract him or yourself from wandering thoughts– you’re not sure. He’s almost clean– almost all better so you can stop playing nurse. Get a warm washcloth to soothe the skin, take away any ache that lasts from the overused glands.

He nods, “Autumn is coming up…” He mumbles, the words leaving his lips in almost a shy fashion. Like it’s a secret that isn’t a secret at all in the coy fashion he knows you adore.

He knows all too well all of the things that make your stomach flutter. Listens to your heart beat like it’s his favourite song, the flush of your cheeks his favourite painting. Every little twitch of your lip or tap of your feet he catches with ease. You are his favourite everything.

You’ve become far more interesting than any book, far more gorgeous than any actress. Learned to read you better than yourself.But he supposes that would happen to any hybrid who had to wait as long as him, endure as much as he has.

Humans are tricky things, you know? You have to wait and wait and wait just for them to finally give into what they really want. Play the long game to win a prize at the end like he wants, deserves.

He’ll win it soon. August.

“Mmm? Having a contest with the house spiders or something?” You giggle, an effort to try and keep the atmosphere as light as possible. Try to distract from any pain he may be feeling at the moment.

Jimin is convinced he can speak to them– the house spiders that you allow to stay in the corners of your house. Another one of Jimin’s pitfalls that you couldn’t help but wonder into. He claims that they’re his friends, that he talks to them all the time. You, on the other hand, are unconvinced. They probably just use him for food!

“How did you know?! Who told you!” He gasps in mock surprise, head dipping low to rest on your shoulder before he continues, “No, not this time…they all know I would win anyway.”

“I know you would,” He doesn’t allow you in the basement to look at them, at least he hasn’t in the last month, but you’ve seen plenty strung around the house. Dotted in the corners of each room, his way of claiming territory. “You’ve always got such pretty silk.”

His face flushes– he knows you can’t see it. It’s good if you don’t, better if you have no clue how much your words affect him. Exactly how much those words mean to him.

Hopefully you will soon enough. Hopefully, if things go according to plan, you’ll know a lot of things. But right now you just need to stay a little clueless. Just for a little longer.

That’s what he promises to himself.

“What’s happening in autumn then?” You ask, finally pulling the last bit of silk from his left wrist. Both finally clean, finally working like they should be.

Taking each wrist into one of your hands, your thumbs find the openings to the spinnerets. Fingers rubbing gentle, soothing circles into the flesh. Your version of a little makeshift massage. One that always causes him to fall apart under. Spine slumping, mouth parting slightly as he watches your fingers work. His brain going a little empty along with the soothing motion of your fingertips.

Another thing that you don’t understand the intimacy of. The extent of what your touch means to him. How terribly it makes him want to bite you.

His voice is a pitch lower than before. You can’t help but notice the way his breath stutters in his throat at the gentle movement of your thumbs. The way his pupils expand ever so slightly. The way he leans into your touch, avoids eye contact at all costs.

You can’t help the blush that dusts your cheeks, the flutter of your ribcage. The way you keep going just because you know it’s making him feel good.

Stop it! You’re thinking in a bad way again! It isn't right! It’s just from the massage, the relief after his spinnerets are cleared! God, you can’t think about him like this. Can’t do this to yourself! Calm down, seriously. None of this is a big deal.

You know he can hear fast your heart is beating regardless of the argument going on inside of your brain.

“Autumn is mating season.” Your thumbs stutter.

Oh. That is something all of the articles definitely neglected to tell you. They didn’t tell you anything about… that aspect of spiders. Not that they explained much to begin with but certainly nothing about breeding.

You can’t help the way your grip tightens, trying to find purchase– stability at the revelation. Heart thrumming in your chest faster, more aggravated than before. The chill that travels down your spine with the hum of his voice so close to your ear.

Can’t help the sinch of jealousy that finds you either.

Fuck, you hate that he’s smirking– without even looking at his face you can tell! You know he can hear the exact pitter-patter of your heart, any little sound or smell you let out he can easily pick up. Knows your exact emotions before you know them yourself.

“Ah… I see.” This topic really shouldn’t make you so embarrassed! Pull yourself together!

You know that all hybrids have a cycle they go through. Heats, ruts, anything in between. You knew that when Jimin came into your life he would be the same! Knew there would be a time when he’d have to lock himself in the basement, body flooded with hormones. The pretty sounds you’d have to block out filling the house.

But still, because it’s him, you can’t help the nerves that arise from your core. The realisation that it would be coming sometime soon.

If you’re going to make it through you’d have to invest in some soundproof headphones. For your own sanity.

“Mmm?” He smiles, voice sweet and saccharine. Away with the pain of existing also left cute Jimin, leaving a deadly predator in its wake. One that likes to taunt and tease you while acting as innocent as an angel.

Leaves your brain confused, floundering trying to keep up with his deceptively sweet tongue. Doing it all just to get a cute little reaction out of you.

Guess he picked up on the exact little whirlwind of your mind, “You’re so cute when you’re embarrassed…”

“Shut up!” You whine, trying to stand from the couch so you can retrieve a washcloth. Try to avoid the way your heart is going to pound out of your chest, the way you know you’ll fall farther into his clutches.

His arms lock on firm, face nuzzling into the crook of your neck to rub his cheeks against your skin. Scent you just like he does a million times a day claiming that it's necessary. Spiders smell so much less than other hybrids– he has to do it or else.

Or at least that’s what he says– you think that it’s another lie.

“What!” He laughs, “Not like I’m saying anything dirty, it’s only natural.” He chides, sliding back against the couch, pulling you into his side with ease. Slotting you in like you’re meant to fit there, not whatever mate he meets in the future.

Your brain yells at itself. You know how dangerous that line of thinking is.

“Unless you want me to be dirty? I could if I wanted, you know.” He smiles as innocently as a wolf, fangs oozing with confidence behind them.

“Oh my god!” You sigh dramatically, putting on the front you always do when your heart feels like it may just explode. When you feel like digging an early grave because Jimin knows exactly what he’s doing.

You simply roll your eyes, “And I could punch you in the dick if I wanted to, you know?”

His laugh is always so pretty, boisterous yet still as light as air. Head tilting back, his neck on display as he chastises you for the empty threat. One you both know won’t come true, at least not right now.

He smiles, a gentle kiss being placed on your forehead as he urges you to stay. Promising he’ll be a ‘good little spider’ so you don’t have to worry about him. The implication of snacks and movies making you stay. The way he pouts when you tell him you’re not buying anymore BugBitez™ until the end of the week confirming that this is where you need to be right now. That it’s right.

It’s almost too easy for him too. Everything is too easy for you when it comes to Jimin. He claims the exact same.

Or at least, that’s what he mumbles in your ear now. Arms wrapped around you as tight as he can manage. Movie nearing its end with Jimin on the cusp of consciousness, you having lost the plot of it a long time ago.

Something about Aliens? Cowboys? Mothman? You couldn’t even hope to guess. Not when his breath is in your ear.

It’s hard to focus when he’s so close like this. When he’s saying pretty words that could get you lost in your fantasy over and over again. Making him harder and harder to give him up every moment that passes you by.

“Got lucky with my human.” He mumbles, half asleep, face buried in your hair, “Really good human.”

His lips move so lazily when they speak. Fangs running across the surface your skin like they have a mind of their own. Never daring to pierce the surface. Never daring to bite you for real. No matter how bad he really, really wants to.

How bad he wants to mate you. Make you his pliant little prey– see if the rumours about what his venom does to humans is real.

Your breath stutters but you pay it no mind. Trying, begging your eyes to remain focused on the movie. To ignore how deceptive sleepy Jimin is. Tomorrow, he will act as normal. His words will carry no weight.

He isn’t your boyfriend. You aren’t his mate. You two are just friends sharing a house.

Feelings you have no right to have are forced down over and over again. It seems like it's become a daily occurrence– a pattern of habit you have no hope in breaking. The love piling behind your eyelids means nothing when the person he is meant to be with could be around any corner.

But it’s getting harder. Too hard to hold them back and restrain yourself. Especially on nights like this when it feels like fate that the two of you met.

Thinking back on that fateful day now, all of those months ago, you’re sure it had to have been. Maybe the winter gods (if such a thing existed) decided to shine their light on you; to make the blizzard a little less lonely. Make your life filled with long days and even longer nights just a little bit brighter.

Or maybe they hated you and wanted you to suffer.

Wanted you to live a life knowing your affections will never be reciprocated, knowing that Jimin has a fated one out there somewhere just waiting for him. Knowing that it isn’t you. Cursing you to a life of watching Jimin fall for another.

Thinking becomes so hard when it’s about Jimin. When it’s about the man who made you so far into the pits of hell that you don’t think you’ll ever crawl out.

So instead your fingers simply squeeze his hand. Rub gentle, soothing circles into the skin. Care for him like you’re meant to instead of thinking about what the future may hold. What will happen when he does find his mate. What they might be like, what they might dress like, if they’ll have to move in here, if you’ll have to watch him fall in love over and over again every single day.

You think you might hate them.

You sigh.

No, that wouldn’t be fair. Could never be fair to Min. He deserves happiness. He deserves the world whether or not you’re a part of it.

You hope he isn’t able to pick up on the changes in your scent.

“Mmm mm, got lucky with you Min.”

August 11th.

A beautiful dream shattered by the incoherent nightmare that is your spider pacing around your room. A pillow pulled to either side of your head, doing everything in their power to drown out the noise as an audible groan leaves your lips. His nervous prattling too early in the morning for your liking.

Any other day it would be fine, you would think that it’s cute. The way he worries his lip between his teeth. The way he gently bites down on the pad of his thumb, one arm crossed while the other soothes the skin of his chin.

Any other day you’d sit in bed, listen to him. Mock him slightly with how much worry runs through his body.

But he isn’t talking about his mate any other day, is he? No, it seems that the occasion has been saved for this morning. His head running a mile a minute, losing all composure he once had before. Losing his very sense of self as anxiety courses through his veins.

“What if it isn’t good enough? I need to present it to her soon. Need to make sure everything is perfect for her.” Apparently he had met her. When? You have not a single clue. Jimin hasn’t left the house in weeks other than to go hunt bugs and to go to the grocery store with you.

“What if the web isn’t big enough? She might not like the style either…” He grumbles, eyes locked on the carpet as he moves back and forth across your room, “God and what if she hates the food… No, no you know what she likes.”

“Jimin, she’ll like everything. It will be fine.” You groan, sitting up in bed to face him, voice gruff with morning air.. You don’t want him to be in here, talking about this. Talking to you about this. Shattering your heart every second that passes by.

You knew it would happen someday, you really did. You tried to do everything right. Tried to pretend reality wasn’t creeping through your windows with every second that passes by. Try to ignore the impending sense of doom that covered your skin.

Did everything right only to end up failing once again due to the rations of Park Jimin.

You try to look at him through the fuzz in your eyes, sleep still trying to force you back into its clutches with everything that it has. Try to see what he is doing– understand what he is saying. His voice continuing to speak yet not fluent enough for you to actually understand. His body twitches ever so slightly, head jerking as his teeth dig deeper and deeper into his thumb. It was almost like you weren’t even in the room– not to him at least. Lost within the tangles of his brain.

Pulling himself deeper and deeper into the recesses of his mind, spiralling out of control of everything that seems rational, everything that he is meant to do or meant to say. It’s almost like he isn’t in the room at all. Isn’t pacing along your floor, surrounded by your scent. Comforting his inner spider before it loses control entirely with the hormones that rush through his veins.

August 11th. The date was circled 5 times on his calendar– red exclamation points, doodles scattered across the stupid day. Yet now, for the life of him he can’t seem to remember why. He can’t seem to remember much of anything though, so that isn’t a surprise. Only his web. The gifts he’s prepared for this day. Yeah. Those are the only things he can seem to think about.

A hand lands on his shoulder– one that isn’t his own. Who’s touching him? He isn’t sure. Isn’t sure of much other than the smell combing through the room that becomes sweeter and sweeter by the second. Honey he is unable to resist.

Especially with how soft the hand is that touches him. How gentle it is on his shoulder, his pace back and forth falling just so he can revel in it. Understand it.

“Hey Min.” Oh. It’s you. Your voice coming through the fog. Your voice startling him from the dream.

Gorgeous, gorgeous you.

Mate.

“It’s gonna be okay, yeah?” Why do you sound sad? No, maybe it’s distressed. His face falls.

No, no, no. You shouldn’t be sad. You should never be sad. You should always be happy with him. You should love him. His love should make you whole. Your love makes him whole.

Wait, does he have your love yet?

Now he isn’t sure.

All he knows is that he should. You should. He should wrap you up in his nest, hold you close until you feel nothing but him. Don’t think about anybody else. Look at anybody else. You should always be happy and safe. Happy and safe with him just like he feels with you. Has always felt with you.

More than that stupid reserve. More than his webs back there. It was fate that brought the two of you together, right? Right? So he should be allowed to indulge just a little. He should be allowed to let go of this stupid, fucked up play he’s been putting on for so long. He should be allowed to do whatever he wants.

The reserve always taught him he was a wild spider, you know?

Wait, spider.

Spider.

His rut. That’s what’s coming today. That’s why the day was circled. That’s why Jimin isn’t acting like himself. That’s why his spider is itching, clawing to come out to play. Why he so desperately wants all of you to himself.

He hasn’t even presented his web yet.

He tilts his head at you, blank eyes staring down into bright ones. Ones that hold his entire world at your fingertips.

“There he is.” Your smile is almost blinding. Makes his head pound just like the sun's rays.

That’s right. That’s why he needs to keep his composure. To keep that smile on your lips. To keep you happy. To keep you falling in love with him slowly the human way. The way he knows you’d prefer. Knows you adore every second of.

He isn’t Taehyung. He isn’t Taehyung.

The human way is better. Better at keeping you pliant. Better at keeping you happy. Better at keeping you unafraid.

He hates when people are scared of him. Hates when people flinch with every movement he makes. Hates when people can’t just love him like he so craves. He’s still a hybrid. He still wants love. He was bred for it just like the rest of them.

So when you came into his life, so gentle and caring despite the palpable fear that scented the air– weighed it heavily, it sparked light behind his eyes. When he felt you touch him, felt the sparks dance across his flesh and allowed himself to inhale once more. When there were no traces of fear within you, only the scent of his mate. His eternity.

He knew he had to do the right thing. Had to make you love him the human way. Had to make you fall for him, endure the wait. Endure the daily struggles of his instincts just so you would never be afraid of him. The end would be worth it.

He would never let you fear him even at the cost of his own sanity.

Because he isn’t Taehyung. He’s Jimin. He’s a good spider.

“You need to be careful Min…” You tell him quietly. Your voice is the only anchor to his shaky world. The light brought him back from the edge over and over again today.

He needs to leave your room before all of his planning goes to waste. Calm himself down. Present to you his web and all of his gifts so you can accept him properly.

“Your thumb… it’s bleeding honey…” He tilts his head again, inspects your hands as they move closer. Tries to force lucid thought from behind his heavy eyelids as you touch his skin directly.

Tries to ignore the throb deep inside as you gently remove the finger from his lips. Pull it away from the fang that was piercing him. The sting of the bite.

He hadn’t even noticed it.

He watches as a single drop spills from the abrasion. Slipping down his finger. Feels the way your hands come up to cup his cheeks.

Leave. Leave. Leave.

The way your thumb comes to his lips, worry etched across your features as you swipe away any remaining blood from his lower lip.

Leave. He needs to leave.

He isn’t sure how your finger ends up in his mouth. His plush lips wrapping around the digit, tongue curling around your flesh as he licks away the red spilled. Sucking on it gently as heat curls in his stomach. His eyes half-lidded, staring into the recesses of your very soul.

A groan passes through him at the taste of your skin. How sweet you are against his tongue. Do you even know what a vixen you are? What a tease you’ve come to be over the past 9 months?

No. Of course you don’t. Not with the blush that rushes to your cheeks. The stutter of his name that passes through his lips. The questions that you ask– what are you doing? Wh-why?

He wants you to be quiet. To enjoy you for all it’s worth. Enjoy everything you have to offer.

The command is silent– no more than the press of his bleeding thumb to your lips. The demand that you part them for him. To clean that wound that you unknowingly caused.

A hand on your cheek directing your head back. He’s been a good little spider, you can be a good little girl too, can’t you?

You are.

“J-Jimi–” He slips it inside, resting the pad against your tongue. Holding it in place. Asking, begging for this one little thing from you. You don’t mind, do you? You’ve always made him feel better before. This is no different, is it?

And so you do.

He watches the way your eyelids fall, your lips close as you begin to gently suck against it like he so craves. Like he desires down to the very cells that make up his body.

To imagine it’s his cock instead. Gently fucking into you over and over again, teaching you how to take his it how he likes. How he knows you’ll like. You’ll love everything about him. You’re meant to. It’s in the fabric of your DNA and soon it will all be his. Right after he shows you his–

Shit.

He needs to leave.

Got carried away in his fantasy. In pretending again.

His rut is coming too fast, too strong now that he finally has his mate in his grasp. He needs to leave. He needs to calm down so he can go this properly.

He leaves you on the bed, more confused and distressed than when he first entered. Annoyance hovering over your entire wake in a blanket of unrest. One that you know will not ease your soul for the rest of the day.

The spider has locked himself away. Hiding from you. Keeping himself in the basement, door locked, shutters drawn to drown out any sense of you that may be persisting.

You, on the other hand, have had nothing to do but stew in your own emotions. Think about every little decrepit detail that occurred hours prior. Edicting yourself to only address him by spider even in your thoughts.

It’s spiteful, sure. But it’s the least he deserves, you know? After everything he’s put you though– pulling you along like a little puppet on a string. Making you sit idly by for him to give you any lick of affection he’s willing to part with. Making you feel special, like you're worth something every second that he gets only for him to remind you with too much familiarity that he isn’t yours to have.

He woke you up, told you about his mate, looked at you like he was going to fuck you, and made you suck on his finger only for him to leave? The sheer fucking audacity of this man.

You’re sick of it.

Sick of having to force everything down because you know it isn’t what he wants. Sick of falling in love with him every day. Sick of having to play house. Sick of not having him. Sick of being playing the lovesick fool.

So, into the novels you fall. Into alternate worlds that are far better than your own. Displacing yourself into new habitats, new environments to escape the confines of the four stuffy walls that surround your body, head, and heart.

Into a world where it’s okay to fall in love with whoever you want. Where it’s okay to feel wanted. Where reality can be shut away by your headphones and a good snack. Where you can ignore the body approaching behind you. The tap on your shoulder.

You try to, honestly. And a good attempt it was.

Keeping your grip firm on the pages, nails digging into the paper below. Breath in your lungs held as if doing so would keep him away. Eyes tracing the pages over and over again though reading nothing. Attempting to appear as if you didn’t notice him at all.

Maybe he would leave, that was your biggest hope. Take the headphones placed firmly over your ears as a loud, obnoxious hint. That he would see you’re not interested and retreat to his basement layer to plot on the next way to torture your heart.

He doesn’t. He never would.

His frame comes to kneel in front of you. To stare up at you with those big brown doe eyes that you know you could never escape. Placing a gentle hand on your knee, trying to get you to see that he is there. That he wants to see you.

You see his lips move, though ignore entirely what they say. Letting out a huff, turning your body away from his own. Continuing to mindlessly stare at the pages even though their contents holds no meaning in this moment. No real value.

His forehead drops to your leg, a sigh leaving his throat. Words mumbled from his lips you’re unable to make out– not that you would want to hear them anyway.

Maybe it’s a temper tantrum of sorts. Giving him a taste of his own medicine. To feel even a pinch of what you do. He probably never does.

Your fight is a good one. It truly is– at least you think so. But it all comes tumbling down the second his lips press against your knee. His hands reaching past your iron grip on the book to hold your own.

You will always fall to the likes of Jimin.

Especially when you see his lips mouth the word please. His brows crested with worry, his lower lip quivering in worry. Fangs biting the surface to try and soothe the nerves he feels.

Any sense of foreboding he held earlier, gone. The tick of his shoulders, the cold, blank stare of his eyes vanished. Your Jimin, the one you’re used to, in love with, rising to the surface again.

You’re unable to fight against the plea, no matter how much you want to. Unable to fight against him.

“What is it.” Your voice is harsh as you remove your headphones, setting the book to the side. Much more than it appears he’d like it to be if the flinch of his neck is anything to go by.

“I…” Words feel lost in his throat, but he forces himself to continue forward, “I have something I need to show you, human…”

Why is he acting so weird? Acting like earlier never happened? He seems nervous, almost petrified at your reaction. As if anything you say could break him entirely.

You don’t understand it at all. Anything about this situation, really.

“Okay…?” You watch his face carefully, trying to reason. To figure out why exactly the air seems so heavy. Why this situation feels so tense. “Show me then?”

“I…You have to come with me?” It sounds like a question, his face flinching at his own words. He’s meant to do this perfectly. Why can’t he seem to get it right? Why can’t his instincts help him with this? “Like, I can’t bring it up here… I need you to follow me?”

“Huh?” The quiet breath leaves your throat as your features pinch.

He quickly tries to explain further, trying to help you see through the worry on your face, “Not far I promise. Just to the basement, yeah?”

Your head jerks back in surprise, “You never let me go down there.”

“Yeah but…it’s special this time.” Oh.

It’s almost as if the pieces click together on their own. Your brain drawing conclusions, making decisions for you despite the obvious staring right in your face. His mate is probably down there. Wants you to meet her.

You can only sigh, accept your fate for what it is. Follow the boy with the string to the basement once again, just like the first night he came tumbling into your life.

“Okay.”

He holds your hand as you walk.

Holds it as if his life depends on it. As if it’s the red string of fate that has tied your two bodies together for the rest of eternity. As if he might die the second you two part. As if you might run away the second he lets go.

You never do, never try to run away from him. You’ve tried to run away from your feelings for so long. The least you can do is see through to the end of them, right? That would be the right thing to do. The dignified thing instead of trying to throw a tantrum on the floor.

The walk to the basement feels like the longest in your life. A marathon you have no training for, no experience with tugging you along. Silence extended for miles along each creak of the floorboards, each set of the dim stairs.

Jimin left the lights off, dusk settling along the horizon not long ago. Only distant flickers from the basement coming through as you make your way down. Candle light in the distance lighting the way.

He doesn’t say a thing as your feet reach the bottom of the stairs, toes cushioned by soft silk lining the floors. He doesn’t have to.

It’s beautiful. That’s the only way you can describe what he’s turned the basement into.

Beautiful silks cover every waking surface– the floors, the walls, the ceiling all lined in brilliant patterns of white dancing across the surface. Creating stories as if they were living themselves.

You wish you could stare at them. Admire them for the rest of your life. Decipher each piece laying, coating the surface. Envisioning the world through the eyes of Jimin. Through the world around him.

Webs cross from floor to ceiling, taking space over the room. Intricately laid in patterns you are more accustomed to with spiders. Webbed hatching sectioning off parts of the space, acting as furniture for the bug to rest on.

As your eyes scan the room, you finally find what you think has to be the most gorgeous web in the world. Sitting in the far right corner of the room stands a nest that takes up the entire corner. The effort it took to make it clear in its craft. So soft, so comfortable.

You almost want to curl up in it yourself.

Illuminated by only the glow of candle light, Jimin does nothing but watch as you take everything in. Watch as your face changes into that of euphoria. Mesmerised by everything he has worked so hard on, everything he’s done just to impress you.

You turn to face him, staring at him with nothing but wonder in your eyes.

“Jimin, this is– fuck this is incredible,” Your voice is breathless, cut off by how overwhelmed you are with everything. With him. “This must’ve taken you so long, it’s so beautiful. Oh my god, how did you–”

He can’t take it anymore. Can’t take it now that he has you here, has you in his web. Now that he can keep you in it forever. Complimenting him. Completing him. He needs to finish with the rest of this fast. Before he does something he’ll regret. Before he finishes showing you how good a mate he will be to you properly.

He tugs you forward, practically puzzling as he tugs you deeper into his room of webs. Expertly guiding you through each one without a second to spare.

Jittery, excited. Feeting rocking themselves back and forth as he sits you on a blanket placed on the ground.

He isn't going to last much longer. Not before his heat takes over. Before he loses his mind at you in the sight of his nest. His mate in his nest. Waiting to be bred. Waiting for–

No, no Jimin. Stop it. Stop acting like a spiderling that doesn’t know what to do with himself now that he has his mate in his nest.

“I…” He takes a deep breath, voice shaky as he tries to calm himself down, “I made us a picnic… I hope you like it.”

His spider hisses at the words, hating having to describe it as something stupid like a picnic. No, it's a nuptial gift. Evidence that he’s a good enough mate. That he’s good enough for you. That he deserves you.

You watch him, watch as he pushes the basket filled to the brim with food over to you. Watch as his frame shakes slightly as he stares at you, fingers tapping against strings of webs closest to your leg.

You can’t help but feel lost. Overwhelmed with affection, but utterly, entirely, hopelessly lost all the same. What is he doing? Why is he presenting all of this for you? Shouldn’t he be doing this for his mate? Isn’t all of this some type of courting ritual?

Oh.

It appears the puzzle you constructed– pieces matched together haphazardly stuck together with glue isn’t the solution after all. Isn’t the reality presented before you know.

You’re… you’re Jimin’s mate?

Your eyes widen, head jerking to meet Jimin’s gaze. His pupils shaky, not daring to leave the surface of the basket. Not daring to move an inch until you accept him.

You’re an idiot.

“J-Jimin a-are we…?” You hesitate to ask, hesitate to break the gentle balance residing over the entire basement.

His head snaps to face your own, eyes plagued with the same blank, predatory look as before.

“Mate.” Deep, harsh, scratchy. His voice makes you feel like he’s going to devour you whole. Like he is the monster waiting in the deepest recesses of your nightmares when that couldn’t be farther from the truth. When in reality he is the very being your soul yearns for stronger than any other.

The revelation, the– everything leaves you overwhelmed. Emotions strung up for the stars, casting aside any comets that tried to hurdle towards the perfect glass encasing this moment. This eternity you wish to live in forever as you finally understand that he wants you just as much as you want him.

You can’t help but grab his cheeks– ignore how venomous he looks, and press your lips against his own. Can’t help the explosion behind your eyelids, the sparks that travel across your skins in euphoric waves. The way your heart swells like a balloon, racing in your chest so fast you fear you may die.

Every emotion you’ve felt that day, every nagging, creeping sensation finding its way into the back of your skull vanishes in an instant. No going back. No orchestra or chorus reprise. No thoughts of not being his mate. You are his mate.

Only him.

Only Jimin.

He doesn’t part with you, not for a second. Not when he finally has you against him. When you so easily rise into his lap. When his natural instincts finally stop screaming at him and take over completely. Kiss you with everything he’s worth. Devour you whole.

His hands find purchase on your hips, blunt nails digging into the skin. Mocking him for not doing this in the closet with you all those months ago. Allowing him to truly understand how good it would’ve felt then. How good it will feel every second that follows.

He thinks you have to be the prettiest thing in the world.

His spider thinks that you need to be bred full of his spiderlings. Fucked so hard that you wont be able to walk– wont be able to leave his nest. That he’ll be able to tie you up nice and pretty, stuff you with his cum over and over again until you’d never even think about leaving.

His spider is winning.

“Min…” Your voice is breathless, trying to keep up with the flurry of kisses he presses against your lips, your face– anywhere he can reach. It’s like he’s addicted to the feeling, like he’s making up for lost time.

“Min, I love you.” And just like that, any sanity he has left vanishes.

His spider has won.

Without a second thought you’re lifted from your place on his lap, thrown carelessly into his nest. His nest where you will stay. His nest where he’ll keep you. All thoughts vanished from that pretty little head of yours. Just like it should be.

His hands find the back of his collar, shirt discarded without a second thought on the floor. He doesn’t need it anymore. Not when he has you. When he wants to feel you fully.

You can only stare– fawn at his tan skin. The gentle muscles on display for you. For your eyes only while he crawls towards you. Stalks you just like they might a pretty little butterfly caught in their web. Wrapped in webs and killed without a second thought.

His lips find yours once again. Slotting together, filling the other to make them whole. Dazed in lust and passion, neither soul hoping there would ever be a way out for the other.

Well, there won’t be for you. But that’s okay. You’ll love it. Love every second of it.

He knows it as his fingers dance against your skin. Sliding beneath the hem of your shirt, running with skilled ease up your sides. The chill that racks through your body is evidence enough. The way you so easily allow him to draw your shirt over your head solidifies it. Your shorts follow, making it set in stone.

Your breath comes out in short pants, every slight touch, every little movement sends fire burning through your skin. Igniting you, setting your core ablaze with heat that only he can extinguish.

Fingers gently sliding over your ribs, thumbs coming just blow your breasts to rub circles into the skin while his fangs nip gently into your lower lip. He can’t bite you now. No, after he mates you he can bite you all he wants.

He groans at the thought, hips rocking themselves against your clothed cunt. Allowing you to feel all of him– the press of his cock, the motion of his need allowing you to fall higher and higher into a heaven you did not think possible.

You whine at him to do something, anything. Too impatient to wait any longer. Too impatient to live a second more without something, anything buried inside of you.

His smile is sick, twisted as he reclines back on his heels. Allows himself to get a good look at you.

“Shh, Shh…” His hand cups your cheek, smoothing his thumb against your lips. Pressing it inside with more ease than before. More compliance than before. There’s a good little girl.

“Poor thing is having a hard time, huh?” He mocks gently, hips pressed firm against your own allowing you to feel every inch of him, “Pretty lips all swollen, pussy a little mess from just kissing… mm mm…”

He groans, hand slipping between your legs. What he finds is no more than a mess of a girl. Hips bucking upwards. Slick dripping from your center, panties coated in arousal. Puffy little clit begging for any attention he’s willing to give it.

Without any hesitation his thumb finds your clit, pressing against it without any thought of reprieve. Without any thought to give you any of the relief you crave. You’ve made him wait this long, you can wait a second, no?

He groans high as you buck against his hand, mewl leaving your lips as some sort of plea. Ah~ how cute. Such a little thing so desperate for something, anything that you’re willing to give up your very head in return? How cute! How adorable!

His spider preens. Is almost so belated he doesn’t notice the hands that come down to grip his wrist. Hold him in place all so you can circle your hips against his thumb. Rub adorable little rings into your clit without any help from him. Use him to make yourself feel good.

A coo leaves his lips. Who is he to deny such a pretty little human?

“Ah pretty baby wants to feel good, does she?” He almost giggles at how pathetic you look. How adorably you cling to him. How hard you try.

His arm is ripped from your grasp, pulling back from the very place you desire him most. Where your arousal soaks the cotton of cotton, so palpable he can practically taste it in the air.

“It’s okay baby…” He sees the annoyance in your face, the battiness you hold in your heart coming to light. Excited to tame it. Excited to quell the pretty little devil in his web.

Tie you up. Breed full.

Breed you.

His fingers work fast. Arms are pulled over your head, silks quickly pinning them to the surface. Strings wrapping and wrapping until he’s sure you’re secure. Sure you can’t move.

His hips gently rock against your own, clothes cock pressing against your core. Watching as your hips buck, as you try to urge him closer with a pathetic whine.

See exactly how you struggle against the strings.

Perfect, perfect girl. How did he get so lucky, huh? Can never be sure.

You’re unable to stop the cry that leaves your throat as his hands pull your panties aside, finger thrusting into your wet heat. Filling you up, making you feel a little more whole.

“Min~” The moan of his name is shaky. Every sense you have in overdrive as he works his finger against your walls. Every push inside deeper, harder. Curling against your walls in the exact way you craved.

Pleasure coils in your stomach faster than you thought possible. A second finger joining the first, pumping in and out as he prepares you for his cock. Prepared you to take all of him and nothing less.

He knows you can do it. You can, can’t you?

“Mhmm baby, I know… head a little clearer now, huh?” He chuckles, chastising, “Can only think when you’re full. It’s so cute.”

You whimper at his words, head rolling back as the coil pulls tighter and tighter within your gut. Urging you to just let it snap, feel everything you’ve been waiting for.

“F-feels good…” You mutter quietly, unable to see the haze cloud his vision. The way his amused expression drops into that of a wild animal.

Without any warning his fingers pull out of your heat, body leaving your own entirely as he stands. Grabbing your hips, dragging them closer. Flipping your body over. Setting you pretty on your knees, arms uncomfortable crossed in front of you.

He quickly rids himself of his pants, allowing his cock to spring free from their confines. Head red and messy as it hits his stomach. Angry at how neglected you’ve left him. How desperately he wants this.

You have no way of preparing yourself for the drag of his cock through your lips. The gentle nudge against your clit. Thick head dragging through your folds, spreading your arousal. Mixing it with his pre-cum.

Making you messy. Making you dirty just for him. Making you belong to him.

“Gonna fill my mate.” All humour is gone from the man behind you, as if he is someone else entirely. It’s really too bad your head has a few too many screws loose to care. Care about anything other than the way his firm head presses against your hole. The way his blunt nails dig into your flesh.

“Gonna breed her. Mate her. Make her mine.” It’s almost as if his word is a command. The very sentences he utters become law.

You can only nod your head. Give yourself to the very man that fate led you to all those months ago. “Want~”

The thrust of his hips into your walls is almost too much to bear. A cry leaving your lips as he fucks himself inside in a single thrust. Forcing you to take him to the hilt, to feel all of him stretch your walls. No break. No waiting around.

You’ve both done enough waiting.

It hurts— the burn, as he stretches you full. Presses his cock against your walls making sure your cunt remembers no one but him.

The way he gives no reprieve, fucking into you like an animal starved. Pulling back until only the tip remains inside before fucking himself fully inside once more.

“Min!” You cry, waves of pain and pleasure boiling all the same within your bones. All the same inside of your blurred head, nothing but static and thoughts of him behind the line of your eyes. Slipping off into space as you let cunt clenched pathetically around his cock.

“Good mate, taking me so well. Such a good human.” He groans, hips pulling back and thrusting into you over and over again. Making you fall apart with his pace. Pumping his cock into your pathetic little hole fast and hard. Ruining you for any other man.

Making sure he will be the only one you allow to enter heaven.

Your moans come out wanton, pleaing. Hips start to move back against him, trying to keep up with his pace despite the burn you begin to feel in your tied arms. Desperate to let him know just how good he’s filling you. Just how good he’s making you feel.

“My mate.” His pants come out harsh, breath on your neck as he hovers close. The sound of skin and against skin is the only thing you’re able to hear. The pressure of Jimin’s lips against your neck makes you feel like you’re about to go insane.

He’s desperate to make you fall apart on his cock alone. Pleasure building and building, the coil tight. Ready to snap at any moment. Ready to fall apart at his command.

“Gonna make you mine forever pretty.” His voice is featherlight once more. The switches have you reeling, your brain spinning. “Want that, don’t you? For me to bite you? Mark you up? Breed you full of my spiderlings? Ruin that pretty little head for anything else.”

He sighs, nails digging into your hips where they’re sure to leave bruises. You nod your head in agreement, moans spilling past your lips as his hips change their angle. His cock hitting the spot that leaves you seeing stars on every thrust.

“Say the word and you’re mine.” You feel his fangs against your skin. The harsh drag across your delicate skin. “Forever.”

You can’t take it anymore, pleasure burning through you. Blinding you. Unable to think about anything else other than the rough thrusts of his cock against your walls.

“Please.” It’s no more than a whimper, but he swears it’s the loudest thing he’s ever heard.

His teeth clamp into your flesh— the final thing needed to push you over the edge into bliss. Your body stutters, walls a vice around his cock as the coil finally snaps. Heat flowing through every cell you possess. The only thing in your soul is Jimin.

Your back arches, eyes dotting with black as you allow it to overtake you. Jimin rocking you against him, groaning as he fills you with his cum, painting your walls white. Allowing you to ride out your high with him. Finally allowing the rut to rid his brain for only a moment.

He slowly pulls out of you, panting. Quickly moving to cover your center back up with your underwear. Make sure all of his cum stays tucked away in your pretty little pussy to get you nice and pregnant.

You can only whimper, body twitching at every movement he makes. Worn down your bones— energy sucked so dry you can’t even feel the throb of your neck. Don’t even notice the blood that drips from where he marked you— claimed you in the way only a hybrid can.

All you're sure of is the need to be close to him. Need to feel him.

Is this what he had been feeling all along? Marks were known to do that, to allow you to feel what your mate does. If he had to endure what you’re feeling right now, it had to have been hell for him.

“Min…” you calm his name. Pull him from where he stares between your legs. Where his fingers rub circles into the surface of your underwear, spreading any cum that leaks from your twitching hole.

Within a second he’s at attention, staring at you with all of the love in the world. You’re not sure how you missed it before. How you could have deluded yourself into believing any less.

He pouts as you wiggle at your restraints, silk holding your arms in place all this time. He gently shakes his head, slowly flipping your body back over onto its back. Crawling over you to look at your face properly. Take in your fucked out expression. Ruined his pretty little human. Made her perfect.

“Don’t want to.” His lower lip juts out at you, eyes wide just like a begging dog. “Look pretty tied up in my web. Should stay like this. Forever.”

“I don’t think my job would like that very much.” You giggle, lip pouting out to match his own. He leans down, quickly capturing your mouth in a quick kiss.

Something hard pressed against your leg once more. His hand comes down to guide it against your heat. Rub against you despite the oversensitivity and cum leaking from your hole.

“Then we move to the woods together… I’ll hunt for us…” He grumbles, pushing your underwear to the side once more. Collecting any cum that has spilled out with his cock, gently fucking it back into your cunt with the head.

A whine rips from your lips due to oversensitivity. Pussy sore, aching from what he just put you though. What you aptly begged for. Yet you can’t deny him. Don’t want to deny him with how good it feels to be filled. How addicted you’ve become. Cock drunk.

“Wh-what?” You try to breathe, walls fluttering around his length as he slowly thrusts back inside. Filling you to the brim once again. “W-we can’t do that, Minnie…”

His thrusts are slow, languid. Almost like he’s making love. Treating you with utmost care despite how wrecked your entire frame is.

He is entirely unaffected. His rut leaves him wanting for more and more until you have nothing left to give. Face twisting into confusion at your words.

“Why can’t we? Make you up a nice pretty web… keep you full all the time” He hums against your neck, gently licking at his mark, “treat you like a real good mate, yeah? Fill you up over and over. Will look so pretty with my spiderlings.”

He moans the words, hips speeding up ever so slightly at the thought. It dawns on you that this must be his rut talking. Filling his head with nonsense he knows can’t come true. In a few days when he wakes up from it, he’ll probably pretend he never said anything about taking you to the woods. Keeping you there.

No harm in agreeing, is there? Especially when he makes you feel so good. So happy and full. When it makes him feel just as good. When your head starts to feel fuzzy, the exhaustion weighs heavily on your consciousness. You’re on birth control anyway, it's fine.

“Mmhmm… sounds nice..” You moan quietly, already feeling your second orgasm approaching. Allowing yourself to become lost in the same dream as him. Allowing yourself to fall victim to pretty words and false promises. Ones that he intends to make true.

“Gonna take such good care of my mate.” He groans, face buried in your neck. He feels your walls clamp around him, pulling him in over and over again. Cunt never wanting him to leave.

His hand draws between your thighs, fingers rubbing quick circles into your clit. Neither of you are going to last long. Both too sensitive to do anything but fall into the pleasure of each other.

Pussy fluttering against his cock, head rolling back as your high runs through you once more. White clouding your vision, ears ringing as you are overcome with fire. Drowning in the feeling of his cock fucking you full of his cum once again.

He lets out a harsh groan as he fills you. Breeds you just like a good spider would. Makes you feel complete as he helps you through both of your highs.

Your eyes feel heavy— too heavy to stay open even a second longer. Too tired to stay awake as he pulls your underwear back over your center. As he pulls your body close to his own.

He doesn’t blame you, never could. It must be hard having to keep up with a hybrid during their rut. But he knows you can do it. Knows you’ll do it for him. Especially with the promises you made. The ones you made only to him.

The last words you hear before falling under the veil of consciousness is a simple declaration. One you’ve waited months to hear.

“I love you.”

“Y/n! Hurry up!”

The whine of Jimin’s voice is louder than any car, highway, hell— aeroplane you’ve ever heard, you’re sure of it. The grip of his hand around your own is like iron, tugging you along the worn trail path, trying to urge you faster than your feet will allow.

“I’m going! I’m goin!” You chide with him, giggle leaving your lips at his hurried nature. You don’t think you’ve ever seen the spider more excited. Maybe even more so than when he strokes the bite mark scarred into your shoulder– your permanent reminder that you are his and he is yours.

“Not fast enough!” He groans, head rolling back in annoyance, “The best spot is going to get taken!”

He’s told you about this spot time and time again– excitement palpable with every mention. A beautiful clearing back at the reserve, one that the trees shine perfectly through. The best spot for basking in the whole park, as well as for begging humans for snacks.

You smile at the thought. Following as close behind him as your feet will manage. Blanket and bags of food tight in your grip. After months of paperwork, he can finally return to this place without fear they’ll take you away from him. The mate licence in your wallet proof enough of it.

He finally gets to take you to the reserve– the place he called home for so long before he met you. The place where he first learned how to be a proper spider. The first place he learned to make friends. He’s most excited about the latter part, getting to show off his shiny new mate to all of his friends. The one he caught the human way.

He’s been talking about it for days, since you first brought up the idea of visiting. Of wanting to see where he lived before he met you. Prattling on and on about everything he’s going to show you, how he’s going to introduce you to Jungkook if he can. About the waterfall over the cove that you two can swim in without anyone finding out.

All of it is a dream come true for your little spider. Your mate.

You smile at the thought– how excited he is as he helps you set up the blanket on the ground. As he helps spread food all around you. Body jittery, head twitching at every little sound.

It’s clear he’s going a little crazy with joy. Entirely ecstatic to have you here with him. Sitting across from him on the ground in a way that almost mocks the picnic you had in his basement that night months ago.

Ah, sorry. Nuptial gift ceremony. He liked it a lot better when you called it that.

“Oh! And then, after we eat, I can introduce you to the head of the park! She’s Namjoon’s mate, but she doesn’t know it yet.” He talks to himself, chatting idly about nothing as he presses another strawberry to your lips. You eagerly take it, biting down on the fruit without a second thought.

You cover your mouth with your hand as you speak, “Really? It must be difficult to confess to her, then.”

He nods his head, overexcited as he looks past you into the trees. Nose twitching as he tries to pick up a scent. Yellow tinted sunglasses high on his nose to block any light from hurting his delicate pupils.

You can’t help but think about how beautiful he is. How lucky you are to have him.

His hair has grown out since that fateful day months ago, blonde replaced by a deep blue that puts the night sky to shame. How his frame has bulked out ever so slightly. Pretty tan skin looking more healthy than ever. His head off in the clouds, trying to ground himself so he doesn’t pick you up and drag you off into the woods.

The human way is never easy for him.

“Mhmm… he’s trying but he isn’t very good at it. Doesn’t understand how humans like it to be done…” He mumbles.

“Hybrid’s do it different?”

“Yeah,” He seems a little lost in space, nose twitching harsher as he tries to recognise the exact scent he knows will be coming soon. Jungkook can never hold himself back from a picnic, no matter how far. He just wishes his nose was stronger.

“Hybrids just take their mate right away. Prove they’re a good mate and then it’s done. But human’s you have to teach.” Your shoulders drop slightly, and maybe if it wasn’t for the love you felt for him or the mate mark pressing against your neck, you would have understood the severity of his words. Of teaching a human, tricking them into making them fall.

“Oh…” You pout, head coming down to rest against his shoulder. None the wiser to the meaning behind his words, “I’m sorry… it must’ve been hard for you.”

He only shakes his head, “It’s okay. I just didn’t want you to ever be scared.”

Suddenly, Jimin is standing. Eyes darting across the underbrush that surrounds the treeline. You follow his vision, squinting slightly to try and make out exactly what he is looking at when two antennae pop over the other side of a bush. Twitching, pointing in your direction. Hunting down food as they move closer.

The insect moves close, tilting his head as he finally moves within your line of vision. Mop of brown floppy hair on his head, wide bunny eyes. Twitching nose all the same. If it wasn’t for the lack of ears and black antennae jolting from his head, you would’ve thought he was a rodent.

“Kook!” Jimin’s voice is loud as he quickly run’s to meet the boy. The other looks just as excited, eyes lighting up with stars as his legs take off in the same direction. The two fall into a puddle of laughter and play fighting as they fall to the ground in greeting.

The infamous Jungkook, an ant hybrid– the biggest ant hybrid you’ve seen, mind you. Jimin’s best friend is finally revealed. And you have to say, seeing them together. Watching as your mate attempts to playfully tie him up silks has to be the prettiest sight you’ve ever laid eyes on.

“Oh my god, Min!” You laugh as Jimin struggles, the giant ant hybrid easily breaking free from the others strings. Instantly the attention is on you. Jimin leaning back to his heels, head thrown back as he whines.

“Shut up! He’s gotten stronger! My webs hold you good enough!” You continue to laugh, unaware of the ant sneaking closer. His antenna tickling your shoulder as he stares at the food in front of you. Begging for just a little taste to bring home to his colony, a little bit to make the queen happy.

You happily oblige, making room for the two of them to join you once again after their little scuffle. A reunion too cute to not try and remember forever. And just like that, conversation begins to flow easily between the three of you. Almost as if Jimin never left in the first place.

The two of them spend all afternoon catching up– Jimin reciting the story of how you two met, Jungkook opening up about the cute human that’s started to come by the park every saturday. Pulling his antennae down as he speaks, clearly embarrassed. Telling you all about how they met, about the reserve.

“Ah~ don’t mind him. Kookie’s just embarrassed cause he doesn’t know how to talk to girls.” Jimin teases, leaning over to ruffle Jungkook’s hair. His arm tightly wrapped around your frame, holding you close. “Not every day that an ant hybrid has a mate outside of their colony, you know?”

“Hyung! Shut up!” He quickly whines, eyes shooting a subtle glare towards the other. Legs kicking slightly underneath his frame. “You… know what it means… especially cause she’s human…”

“I know.” His fangs shimmer as his hand reaches out to ruffle his hair, “Don’t worry. She’ll wanna be your queen in no time.”

You nod your head in agreement, picking up another piece of fruit and popping it into your mouth. Nothing much to add to the conversation– you’ll never really understand the intricacy of hybrids and how they work. Especially those like Jungkook and Jimin.

Yet, you can’t help but feel at peace with that. At peace with them and this moment. Content with your life, content with your mate and the life you’ve built together. You hope that Jungkook can do the same with his own someday. Build a nice little colony or whatever it is that ants do.

“Mhmm, anyone would want someone as cute as you.” You smile, watching as the ant’s eyes go wide. Blush covering his cheek as he tries to pull his antenna down to cover them. Jimin instantly pounces on the other, starting a new round of play fighting. Laughing about having to defend his mates honour. That she isn’t allowed to look at any other hybrid. No one but him.

You giggle along with them, leaning back from your spot. Taking a mental picture of the scene in front of you. Jimin happy, playing. The sunset over the horizon as the three of you laugh in the woods. As Jimin no longer looks anything like that spider all those months ago.

And maybe he’s right. Maybe you did fall into his trap lined with silk. But you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Even when you wake up in the middle of the woods. When you wake up in a cabin decorated in pretty webbing. When you come to find society is far behind you. When you discover no one else other than Jimin telling you that this is exactly what you asked for.

You wouldn’t have it any other way.

⋆𐙚 if you enjoyed this fic, please consider buying me a kofi!

© all rights reserved to ctrlhope 2019-2024 ; do not copy, plagiarise, or translate.

[charhounds]

yknow i honestly think im starting to like spiders more than smaller bugs like ants. they still scare me but they seem calmer somehow

[headspace-hotel]

facts about The Fear, after 20 years of life with her

The Fear is NOT:

an intruder, invader, or some other entity from "outside" You

inappropriate, wrong, or incorrect

a responsibility

a punishment

"irrational" or otherwise able to be understood through a relationship to "rationality"

an "inaccurate" representation of reality

The Fear IS:

an innate part of you

extra-rational—she exists outside and completely independent from "rationality" and does not respond to being judged according to that lens

self-love—her purpose is to protect you and keep you safe

self-sufficient—fear is a 100% whole, complete entity that doesn't "represent" or "reflect" something else

earnest—fear is always a 100% real experience that is exactly as it is felt, and, needing no comparison or reference to any external reality, it is not "dishonest" or "inaccurate"— it asserts a claim about only itself

subversive [not quite the word I am looking for but it will have to do]— is not necessarily beholden to social and cultural norms of what should be feared, how much, and how you should respond. She does not stop existing in the absence or suppression of vocabulary to describe her.

a demand for care— she does not just communicate to you but to the community you are part of; she calls attention to an obligation that this community has toward you, to make sure that you are safe within it and that your experiences are heard and understood.

yeah, so, i've had severe anxiety for my whole life and the way it's been treated and dealt with, and the way I've been taught to understand it, has really fucked me up so I am trying to lay the groundwork for understanding it differently

I think it's pretty fucked up that we're taught to see anxiety as deceptive or inaccurate. Now, obviously the images or projections in my fearful thoughts do not usually "reflect reality," but I have come to see this as...not particularly important?

Teaching an anxiety sufferer to restructure their thoughts to dismiss and contradict "irrational" fear is, in my opinion, the same as teaching a chronic pain sufferer to restructure their thoughts to dismiss and contradict pain with no clear physical source. You might as well speak of "irrational" pain, and pain has the same relationship to rationality that fear has.

"Irrationality" is a quality assigned to fear that is judged by an outside observer, or by the collective cultural biases and hang-ups of a society, as not appropriate to a given situation. This is total fucking nonsense and we should be talking about that, because...well, the first reason is that it implies some kind of fixed standard for what fear ultimately is and isn't for. i like to tell people to watch one of those Coyote Peterson videos where he's going to get a tarantula hawk wasp to sting him, because he's obviously having a strong physical fear response, even though he knows it won't kill him. Is it "rational" to fear suffering and not just death? How much suffering? Sit with that one a little while.

The second reason, which is even more convincing, is that the "rational" brain is not consulted at any point, ever, when a person feels afraid. It's just a response. The fear response is not routed through the conscious, sapient, reasoning brain. And thank God, because if we needed to hear back from an upstairs executive before we could decide whether to run from a lion, our species would be extinct.

Techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy were absolute fucking shit at making my life any better, but fantastic at wrecking my ability to identify my own emotions, because Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for anxiety basically amounts to trying to brainwash yourself into thinking you don't feel the emotions that you do. It's a really neat way to develop bizarre psychosomatic symptoms and start experiencing anxiety through constant body pain, swollen lymph nodes, and digestive issues.

For an institution that pathologizes having "alters," psychiatry sure loves to encourage a suffering person to view normal and ultimately good parts of themselves as distinct, intruding entities to be shoved in a closet somewhere.

And yes. Fear is ultimately a good part of you, a part of you that loves you.

What began to set me free was feeling that acid terror and sickness and rage course through my body and realizing—really realizing—that I was being illuminated with this ancient, powerful force driving me to LIVE.

I want us to make it. I want you to live.

And you know what, I want me to live too.

I abandoned the doctrine of calming down—Lord knows it had never worked anyway—and started really just exploring and existing in the Fear.

How did that feel? Bad. Very very very very very bad and really not productive or helpful at all initially. Which was unavoidable. Necessary. She had been frantically clawing to communicate with me for so long, and I had been shutting her away, silencing her, resenting her presence in my psyche. I started trying to show gratitude toward the signals my body gave me. I started trying to show gratitude toward her—and i guess the Fear was a Her now, this just seemed more respectful.

And it seemed like nothing happened, but several things happened.

I stopped searching for validation. That was a big one. At some point I just...stopped needing a "reason" or justification for the fear I felt (trauma???? neurodivergence???? neurodivergence trauma????) and the fact that I experienced it became completely sufficient and satisfying to me. So much guilt and confusion disappeared.

I also became steadily more confident about my own boundaries, particularly in regards to recovery.

It's awful now that I think about it, but I think I felt this sense of almost moral obligation towards "recovery," as if I needed to "overcome fear" to be Courageous and Virtuous. It made me feel crushing guilt to feel any hesitation about this.

But then this started to change. It became more real to me that was the only person affected by the steps I did or didn't take toward recovery, and there was no moral dimension to it. A therapist couldn't put me in a box I wouldn't willingly go into.

Freedom from these judgmental frameworks is really important to me. I think that I always hated the idea of getting "better" because it seemed like "better" would mean just getting better at submitting to things I was afraid of while everything felt just as bad as it always did on the inside.

And on some level—even though I could never put it into words at the time—I violently hated the idea of "recovery" from some of my fears because it seemed like the ultimate denial of agency. I didn't want to "become okay with it"—the possibility felt dehumanizing. It felt awful.

And I realize now that this is because The Fear represented something I needed to have a right to. Many of my most life-destroying fears centered around things being done to my body, and if I could have pressed a button and been no longer afraid, I wouldn't have, even though it would have spared me so much suffering, because...I needed it to be okay to want agency over my body. I needed it to be right. The Fear, in this case, was a demand that my body be treated as sacred.

I realized that there were many cases where The Fear was a territorial claim of sorts, a demand that certain needs be honored and met—She needs this. This is FUCKING non-negotiable.

And it really...prompted me to look backward on my life and see The Fear differently: not as a responsibility I had failed to shoulder (me?? a little child??? responsible?? Responsible for being brave, when every day felt like facing a firing squad?????) but as a collective responsibility

Because I was not alone in those memories—I was surrounded by adults that saw me suffering, and often dismissed, ignored or ridiculed it. The Fear grew larger and larger; why?—to protect me. Because teachers, nurses, doctors, and camp counselors did not do any of the thousand thousand things they could have done to make that little girl feel safe. Because my well-meaning parents praised me when I was "brave" but I, a little kid, literally couldn't communicate how awful it always felt.

The Fear was not there to torture me. The Fear was and is doing her best to keep me safe. It's not wrong, there's no need for guilt. It just is.

It doesn't feel good. But maybe one day it will feel better.

[whiteeyes-is-a-mad-scientist]

The new seawing in the reef

Sunhunter waited silently in the sand. She hated being so… out in the open. Especially now. She jumped hearing a dragon rise from the water.

"Relax. Just me." Snapping turtle shook off a stray piece of seaweed. His spots gave a faint yellow flash in the moonlight. "If your here just to tell me that I'm in danger I know…" sunhunter frowned at the familiar look the seawing held.

"I'm here to offer you a way out actually." He trudged through the sand as it began to clump on his wet talons. He shook the sand off and opened his talon. Within it was an earring, a shiny pearl carved in the shape of a star. "Oh its beautiful… but how is jewelry supposed to help me?" Sunhunter took it into her talon to further examine.

"Argile made it so he could come with me into the deep palace. He doesn't really come into the ocean these days." He glanced toward the deep blue "it's enchanted. It'll turn you into a seawing as long as you wear it."

Sunhunter felt her scales shiver "Snapping turtle… I can't… all my visions... they come in water I don't want to imagine how awful it would be in the water…" she shook her head. "How do you know? You've never been in the ocean." He leaned forward "Sunhunter you don't really have a lot of options here. The skywings are after you… they can't go into the ocean."

Snapping turtle was right. The mercenaries and assassin's were getting more crafty. Even those against the skywings would give longing glances at her. No doubt gaging whether or not the bounty was worth it. "I..I dont know how to be a seawing.." she frowned "I don't know aquatic or how to swim or or-" "I'll teach you." Snapping turtle flashed a rare smile. "What about the talons? I still want to help the peace effort…" she looked at the earring. "Oh for moons sake forget the talons! This is your life in danger!" He exasperated "Sunhunter… please… I dont want to see you become some trophy for the skywings.." His eyes were weirdly desperate.

Sunhunter sighed and slipped the earring on. A deeply cold chill ran through her scales. She shut her eyes tightly as the world spun, she stumbled forward and met Snapping turtles chest. Past the pounding in her head she could hear him "Its alright… Argile struggled a bit as well…"

Her scales stopped tingling and the pounding headache faded. She felt snapping turtles wing on her back, brushing softly. She also felt her new gills, webbed toes, and flashy spots. She opened her eyes to find her new night vision. Also finding herself needing to look up toward snapping turtle "Oh making me shorter than you is unfair." Snapping turtle snorted "Welcome to being the short and stocky tribe."

Sunhunter stumbled steadying herself. She used to be shoulder heavy but now her weight was all over. She felt stronger despite being shorter. Snapping turtle stared and sunhunter rolled her eyes "I know I look stupid don't I.." "No.. I think you look good as a seawing. I like that the earring chose a mix of more saturated green-ish blue scales. Unique in pattern but not out of place for a seawing." He smirked "but I do miss your original look."

Sunhunters face scales felt faintly like her sandwing warm ones but it went away quickly. She smiled "I have a great hunger for fish now." "Beats those awful roasted tarantulas you used to eat." He stuck his tongue out. "You never tried them so don't start." Sunhunter raised her head, her shiny sea ready scales catching the moonlight. Watching the moons for a moment she turned back to snapping turtle "Well what should my new name be? Sunhunter isn't... seawing... like."

He glanced away "hm.. clam?" "Clam?" Sunhunter retracted "Are you saying I have a big mouth?" She glared. "No! I just- ugh ill get something else…" He rubbed his chin "I'm not good at names…"

Sunhunter sighed before flopping into the sand. A faint dizzy feeling hitting her like a wave "So when does the dizzness stop?"

Snapping turtled perked up as she curled into a C "Cove! Your new name should be cove." He smiled as sunhunter titled her head "Hm... I do like it... but it doesnt mean something dumb does it?"

"No no... A cove is just a small bay often secluded. The waters often have a greenish blue look." He nudged her with a wing "I can show you."

"Ok... but dont let me drown..." She steadied herself and headed toward the water

Snapping turtle chuckled "Of course."

[empyreva]

Daisies

Summary: All you want is to have ONE nice date with Luke without him sabotaging it in some way--surely a flower meadow is safe

Pairing: Luke Castellan x Reader

Word count: 1k

Tags: Fluff, established relationship, fem!reader, Luke and reader are sassy and silly with each other, flirting, teasing, Luke loves getting under your skin, implied sex, vague nudity, 17+

A/N: My thoughts got ahead of me....I liked the idea of reader being like the A type partner and Luke loves messing with her--but you braid flowers in his hair anyway!!

The air is thick with the scents of lavender and honeysuckle--wildflowers dancing with the wind, bending gently but never breaking under the force. Here and there, butterflies and bees dart from flower to flower, sipping nectar lazily.

As you step onto the sprawling expanse of green grass, you can't help but gasp at the scene in front of you. It was like Gaia herself handpicked this location--a sprawling meadow between junctions of neighboring forests, brimming with life. "Wow..." You breathed out, eyes wide with excitement for your perfect picnic date. 

From behind you, the tall grass rustled--a strong arm snaking its way around your waist. Your boyfriend's eyes were pointed ahead, silently contemplating the sanctuary the two of you had found while attempting to get some private time away from the camp. Tugging on Luke's shirt, you enticed him to lean over for a quick kiss before you beckoned him to follow you as you searched for the perfect place to settle down--taking his hand in yours as you ventured further.

"Here's good?" You stopped in front of a small clearing in the field, a patch of dirt stripped bare and empty. Despite being objectively dead, it seemed well-loved, a little TLC would be needed to brush away dust and stray weeds--How many demigods before you had snuck away to this place? The romantic notion alone made your heart flutter.

"Perfect," Luke drawled, giving you a cheeky smile. Enthusiastically, you billowed out the large sheet you had tucked in the small picnic basket--fussing over making sure there were no crinkles in the fabric or sharp rocks underneath it. Watching you bend over and curse as dirt scuffed your pretty white dress had his own thoughts wandering--He honestly couldn't care less about where the two of you ended up.

After deeming everything to be perfectly in place, you dragged Luke down next to you, giggling as he stumbled into a comfortable sitting position. You began to ramble on about something--Luke honestly didn't care much for conversation. He offered you a couple "Mhm"s and "Oh yeah?"s, feigning interest in what you and Annabeth discovered while cleaning out the shed behind Athena's cabin. His eyes flickered down.

Gods, you weren't even wearing a bra.

"Luke--Luke!!" Suddenly you were right in front of him, nose to nose as your eyebrows furrowed. "Are you even listening?"

"Uh-uhm yeah--So uhhhhhh....So what happened after Percy killed that...Lizard?" 

"Tarantula, Luke. And he didn't kill it, he just flung it somewhere and told Annabeth that he killed it," you sighed, pushing your hair back with one hand. Luke felt like he had been pierced through the heart, gazing intently at you as you preened yourself for a moment. "But, anyway, Annabeth was so cute because she..."

"It's a bit hot, don't you think?" He interjected, fingers skirting along the exposed flesh of your thigh--peeking out from beneath your white dress. "Like, I'm actually sooo hot--Aren't you feeling it?" You gasped and pouted, gently pushing his wandering hand back to his side of the blanket. No no, you weren't going to let him win, again. The last time the two of you even tried to leave for a date, he 'accidentally' spilled something all over your shirt so you had to change. In front of him.

"C'mon, Luke, the food's gonna go bad if we start now!" You whined, pointing at the two perfectly crafted sandwiches you made, not to mention the various fresh fruits you packed up for dessert!! Completely ignoring you, Luke shrugged his shirt off from over his head, letting it fall somewhere in the nearby daisies. A smirk danced across his face, noticing the way your gaze immediately diverted the second he was facing you again. His abs had a slight shine to them, his biceps flexing as he pushed himself onto his haunches. "A-Aren't you hungry? We've been walking for like--like an hour!"

"Oh, I'm hungry--starved, even..." Luke pushed the basket out of the way, a slow crawl landing his lips just a breath away from yours. Your breath hitched in your throat, eyes locking with Luke's--Gods he just had this way of getting you right under his thumb. A large hand slipped all the way up your dress, gently massaging the burning-hot flesh of your chest.

"I just have this...craving for something else."

--

"This is fucking amazing, baby," Luke moaned, his fingers dwarfing what remained of his sandwich. His head lay on your bare lap, cradled between your knees as he lounged, free as a bird, basking in the warmth of the sun and summer air. "Best. Sandwich. Ever."

"Thank you," you huffed, one hand massaging his scalp as the other supported your dinner. "You spoilt brat..." Luke frowned at the words that you muttered under your breath, reaching a hand up to flick at your nose.

"Hey!"

"I'm not a brat," he whined, poking at your jaw like a child. "Don't say that."

"Don't say that," you mocked. "Gods, can you ever NOT act like a big baby."

"Just for you, my girl."

You looked down at your boyfriend's handsome face--His mischievous brown eyes sparkled under the soft rays of the setting sun, while his dark curls fell around his forehead in gentle waves. Laughter escaped him as you gave his ribs a soft tickle, and he tried to evade you for a second before you decided that you wanted to try and actually be romantic. Something about these teenage boys...

You turned to your side and reached over, plucking a few daisy blossoms from the ground—a bouquet of white. With a smile, you began delicately threading them through his locks. Some clung tight to his scalp, others drifted lightly to the tips of his curls. He closed his eyes and sighed deeply, relishing the sensation of your fingers against his skin--the soft tugging and gentle petting as you crafted a sort of halo.

"My handsome boy," you murmured, hoping to commit this moment to memory. Luke was growing sleepy, you could tell by how his eyes fought to stay open long enough to gaze into yours--the rise and fall of his chest in the rhythm of a euphony of crickets in the distance. He looked so pretty like this, so vulnerable, so trusting. You wished that this day would never end.

[nyrasburnttoast]

Snakes. Tim bradford

Summary: Tim Bradford and Reader get a call at a reptile store..

Pairings: Tim Bradford x (fem) reader, (Platonic or Romantic)

Warnings: none

a/n: It's set around, season 6ish. not proof read lmao

“7 Adam 19, we have a report of a disturbance on the corner of La Brea and 12th, possible 211.”

“Copy that dispatch, show us in route.” Tim puts the radio back down. Y/N opens her mouth to say something, but quickly closes it, focusing on driving. She purses her lips, glancing over at Tim. A few moments of awkward silence fill the shop.

“What???”

“Nothing!! Nothing- “

He cuts her off, “You’ve got that look you get when you’re thinking. Spit it out.”

“Isn’t-“ She pauses, turning to look at Tim. “That address is an exotic animal store.”

“So…?” He side eyes Y/N. The car begins to slow as they arrive at the scene.

“A 211 at a store that sells dangerous animals???” Y/N says slowly, looking at Tim as she parks the shop. “I’m just saying, not the place you think would get robbed at 10am on a Tuesday.” She mumbles, shrugging.

They both exit the shop, Tim alerts dispatch that they have arrived on scene.

The store was trashed, you could see that from the outside. The lights were out, and a few windows were smashed. There were a few steps down, if it wasn’t for those, water would probably be flowing down the street.

Tim reaches down for his radio, “Dispatch, this is Sergeant Bradford at the disturbance on LA Brea and 12th, requesting back up,

Y/N leans forward, grabbing Tim’s radio. Without taking it out of his hand, speaking into it. “And animal control.” She looks Tim straight in the eyes. She lets go of his hand, entering the store.

There was an inch of water covering the entire floor. A few dead animals were scattered around, mostly tarantulas whose small containers were knock onto the floor from their shelves, and other insects. Snakes slither across the selves, and frogs happily hop around. Very few animals sit inside their actual enclosures.

A snake slithers across the floor at Tim’s feet. He draws his gun, pointing it at the snake. Y/N spins around, instinctively reaching for her own gun. She frowns at Tim, dropping her arms to her side.

“Put that away.”

“Why would I do that?” He doesn’t look up from the curious snake at his feet, his gun trained on it.” She gives him a warning look.

“What?! That thing could easily kill me. I’m not going to risk my life!!”

His eyes widen as Y/N bends down, picking up the snake. Tim’s eyes widen, he hesitates, but doesn’t follow the snake with the gun. “The hell are you doing?? It could be venomous!”

“It’s a rainbow boa- Boas are nonvenomous dumbass.” Tim frowns, but finally puts his gun away. Y/N safely puts the snake on the counter before walking to the back of the store, looking around with her flash light. After a few seconds she walks back out, radio in hand.

“Dispatch, we’re code 4. Stores empty except for a bunch of snakes and stuff.” She walks over to the racks of cages, looking over all the snakes, just examining the types of snakes and reptiles. “I don’t think they have any venomous snakes out front. They’re all in the back- and not a single smashed cage back there.” Y/N shoots a glare at Tim, feeling his worried gaze shift from her to the backroom door.

“Cmon, let’s just wait outside until animal control shows up. So, you don’t shoot any innocent snakes.

After shift later that evening, Tim went out with Lopez and harper. Something that has become a regular thing for the trio. Just have a beer or two, decompressing after work for a few hours before they get home.

A familiar voice behind Tim speaks “You seriously pulled your gun on a snake??” Tim chokes on his drink, turning to Lucy wide eyed.

“No! Of course not!” The man voice betrays him, as his voice cracks a little. Nyla snickers behind him

“Tim Bradford!” Angela exclaims teasingly. “You’re scared of snakes???” Tim just sighs in annoyance. He’ll never hear the end of this. He glares across the bar. Y/n winks at him, smirking as she takes a sip of her drink. Oh, it’s going to be a long night…

Tim made y/n pay his bar tab, but everyone’s reactions were so worth it.

[courtingchaos]

Sleepy

Eddie Munson x Fem Reader

It’s just a handjob blurb 🎉

NSFW 18+ No Minors

It started out innocently enough.

His head on your lap after a long day, the hum of the tv lulling him into a half sleep while your fingers dug through his damp hair. You spent your time separating the curls and gently detangling the knots while he dozed with his cheek pressed into your thigh, his hands tucked up under your leg. Every shift of his hair stirred up the aussie shampoo he’d stolen from you and it made you smile like the little sounds he made as he drifted in and out of consciousness made you smile. He’s heavy against you, fingers twitching every so often under your thigh, his shoulder pressed tight to you.

The last of the tangles come undone between your fingers and his hair lays fluffy and almost dry along his back. You think about sliding out from under him and letting him rest while you get ready for bed but instead you let your hand fall on the crown of his head. He hums at you when your fingers dip through his hair and graze his scalp. You scratch lightly and he rolls back into your hip, the corner of his mouth pulled up into a grin.

“That feels good.” He mumbles, face still pressed to your leg. His breath is hot through the thin material of your nightdress when he sighs deep as your fingers run down the back of his head. You watch goosebumps trickle down his arm and repeat the motion, getting another sigh out of him that slips through his teeth.

“I like it when you play with my hair.” He turns to look up at you with bleary eyes, sleep still trying to vie for his full attention.

“Yeah?” Another drag of your fingernails from the base of his skull to behind an ear. He almost whines, a muted sound he keeps muffled in the back of his throat. He just nods and pushes his head further back against you while he stretches his legs out over the other arm of the couch. His foot bounces to a beat only he hears while you lazily drag your fingers through his hair until his hand wraps around your wrist to pull it towards his mouth.

“Oh are we done?” You ask with a smile and he just pulls your wrist to his lips to press a dry kiss there. He trails a few up the inside of your arm and back down to the middle of your palm while you sneak your other hand back into his curls. “I wasn’t done.”

“Oh?” He raises an eyebrow lazily that quickly turns into a delighted frown when you tense your hand. A light grip on the crown of his head and you give him a little wiggle, enough that he laughs. His grip on your wrist slackens and you pull your hand out to land on his chest.

“Mhm.” Another little tug of his hair before you walk your fingers down his chest like a lazy tarantula.

He settles when you tug his shirt up to run your fingers over the sliver of skin and when you run a nail lightly along the waistband of his pants he rolls his head into your side to muffle his soft groan. He chances a glance up at you and immediately feels a blush dust his cheeks when he sees you staring down at him.

“What?” You smile, mischief in the squint of your eyes.

“You know what.”

Your fingers dip just under the waistband of his black sweats. “I have no idea.” His skin is soft and warm against your hand that keeps its slow course down.

“I’m already half asleep.” He says while canting his hips up into your touch when you graze the coarse hair.

“All you gotta do is lay there then.” Fingertips find hot, soft skin already firm but when your palm wraps around him his cock jumps and he laughs around a groan.

“Oh that’s it?” He asks breathily, voice hitching when your soft touch turns firmer. “Just gonna use me like that?”

“I’m not using you for anything, I’m trying to give you something.” You only take your hand off him for a second to nudge his waistband down but he’s whining, grabbing your forearm with both hands. He holds on when you lift your hand to lick your palm, his eyes cracked open to watch you. His thumbs rub along the soft skin inside your elbow and when you wrap your hand around him again he gasps at the cool, wet touch.

“W-what’d I do the earn this?” Stuttered words quiet when he shoves his face into your side again to pull the fabric of your dress between his teeth.

“Nothing.” A slow pump of your hand, finger tips straying down to gently pull at his balls. “I just wanted to touch you.” An open palm against his leaking tip and you come away with more slick, the sound audible now. “I missed you today.” The fingers still wound in his hair flex and pull a little, just enough to make him hiss into you. Muffled and damp through the cotton while your other hand slowly picks up pace. Eddie whines, hot in your hand, flushed and red and even if he is half asleep his full attention is on your movement.

“Doesn’t take much, does it?” Another tug of his curls and he throbs in your hand. He sinks down further, into the cushions and into your lap, neck rolling along your thigh. You stop with your slow teasing, hand moving steady up and down and he shudders. Between your two hands you have him trapped in a haze, somewhere between sleep and arousal. He rolls his hips up into your palm, sure thing at first that quickly turns frantic.

If anything, he’s using you tonight but that’s the point.

You coo at him and his noises and he grips onto your elbow like a lifeline, breath coming hard through his nose.

“You close?”

He can’t answer with full words, just a nod against your leg and a tightening of his fingers.

“How close?” You slow your hand for a moment and he makes a noise deep in his chest.

“Don’t tease.”

“But it’s fun.” You grin at him blushing and gasping and you couldn’t hold out on him if you tried. You speed your hand up and he sounds like he’s choking on a sob just before he comes. His fingers dig into you and your hand in his hair holds him down, a little string of mumbled curses spilling out of his lips.

“See?” Nails against his scalp, light lines that make him shiver deeper. “Just had to lay there.”

“Yeah and make a mess.” He looks down at his shirt and your hand, sticky and wet. Wordlessly you slide out from under him to grab a towel and in the minute you’re gone he’s back in that twilight sleep, leaving you to clean up. It’s fine though, you know he’ll wake you up in a few hours to return the favor.

[gingernut1314]

Face Your Fears

Luffy x GN!Reader

Summary: Deep in the jungle, you are faced with your biggest fear and your captain is more than happy to help you.

Warnings: fluff, arachnophobia, very mild spoilers for the anime (Alabasta arc to Post-Enies Lobby arc mentioned), use of Y/N

Word Count: 1.4K

A/N: This is my first "full-fledged" Luffy fic soooo I hope it turned out okay lol. Regardless, I hope you all enjoy!! 🩷🩷🩷

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You stood deathly still in the middle of the thick, dense jungle. Sweat ran down your skin in pools, the muggy heat doing nothing to help calm you down. Your muscles had grown so taut you feared they might snap under the pressure. Your limbs were frozen in place as you fought against the rising panic in your chest. 

This was a nightmare. Your worst nightmare.

The one thing you feared above everything else. 

And you were stuck--unable to move to free yourself from the situation. 

You whimpered pitifully as your captain came hopping back down from the tree he had climbed, bouncing like some ball as he called your name, arm extended to show off the stick he had found for you to admire.

“This one is so much cooler then the one you found. Usopp is going to be so jealo--why are you all pale?” Luffy asked, titling his strawhat adorned head and blinking his long eyelashes slowly at you as he tried to figure out what was wrong.

Everything was wrong. So, so wrong. 

“H-Help.” Your tightened throat croaked out. “Help me. Please.” Luffy’s easy going nature shifted instantly, steady seriousness filling his dark brown eyes as they scanned the small amount of cleared space you both stood in.

“What’s wrong? Someone here?” 

“Luffy.” You stressed, that nightmare growing closer and closer. He snapped back to you and you found the strength within you to shakily lift your hand to point to your other, already outstretched arm. “Please--get it off.” 

His eyes followed your guidance to find the big, furry spider crawling its way slowly up your arm. One that had some how, thanks your horrible luck, had found its way to land on you. 

But, instead of instantly coming to your rescue, that signature grin of his stretched across his face, bringing attention to the thin scar just under his left eye. 

“Cooool! Where did you find that tarantula?” Luffy asked, coming into your orbit. He took your wrist in his strong, warm hand only so he could observe the creature more closely.

“Get it off!” You panicked, your heart feeling as if it might burst out of your chest. “Please, please, please get it off!” Your panic turned into a near sob of fear, your eyes beginning to sting with it.

“‘Kay.” Luffy shurgged, happily scooping the too-many legged monster off your skin. 

The frozen spell the vile beast had put you under fell away and you scrambled from Luffy, bumping into a nearby tree in your rush. You frantically swiped and scrubbed at your skin to try and get rid of the icky feel of all those furry legs. 

“He’s not bad, Y/N. He’s friendly, see.” Luffy said, bounding back over to you, spider in hand, to show you just how ‘firendly’ it was. 

“NO! Luffy!” You screamed, sprinting away from your captain who continued to happily chase you with it like this was a game, that cackling, mischievous laugh of his never ceasing.

“He’s so tiny and fluffy! He’s not gonna hurt you.” 

“Tiny? Look at it’s fangs!” You screeched as Luffy hopped infront of you again. You were quick to freeze in your place before you could run head first into Luffy and the horrid demon he held. Luffy smiled brightly at you as he raised the spider up all too close to his eyes.  

“You know it would be the coolest if we could have fangs too.” He mused, lightly petting the tarantula who seemed too at ease within Luffy’s hold. “Like….this!” Luffy snapped his head back towards you, both his canine teeth stretched, thanks to his Devil Fruit powers, to resemble that of long, sharp fangs. You huffed in annoyance at him.

“Can you please just--throw it away or something? It’s--I don’t like it.” Luffy gave a loud whine in protest, teeth snapping back to normal.

“But--Y/N, just come look at him. He’s super cute. And you like super cute animals. He’s like Chopper--well…expect he’s not a reindeer and can’t talk.” Luffy said, starting towards you once more. You took a step back with every step he took forward. 

“It sure as hell is nowhere near as cute as Chopper. I don’t want to look at it.” You snapped. 

“He’s more scared of you then you are of him, I swear.” You yelped when your back hit another tree, blocking you from moving any further. Your heart began to race as you spied the demon still resting in Luffy’s plam. 

“Luffy--I’m serious.” 

“And I’m serious too. Can you just look at him? Please? I’ll hold him the whole time.” Luffy begged, thankfully stopping in his journey towards you. You watched him and the monster for a very, very long moment. A moment you took to try and calm your heaving breath. 

“Will it make you quit bugging me with that--thing, if I do?” Luffy nodded rapidly, his smiling growing ever the more wide. “Don’t you dare more or I swear I’ll kill you.”

“Still as a statue.” Luffy said, making a show of freezing up his body. You approached him as slow as a snail, your breath becoming heavy and short all over again. 

“It’s okay. You know I won’t let anything happen to you.” Luffy smoothed as you came to a stop a few inches before him. His words helped steady your breathing, but made your heart pitter-patter in a different rhythm then that of fear or panic. 

A rhythm your heart had been beating for your captain for a long, long time now. Ever since he had dragged you from your little back water home and took you on all the adventures you had ever dreamed of. 

From wicked, hook-wielding Warlords, islands in the sky full of angels, strange games amongst enemy pirates, to islands flooded with water, and the start of new friendships--that rhythm had been there, sounding only for him. For the man who was making your dreams become a reality and whose kind and warm, yet strong nature pushed you to grow more then you could have ever thought possible.

And here he was again, pushing you to over come this seemingly silly fear of yours in such a--loving and caring way that just made that rhythm beat all the more fast.

“Its…” It was ugly. It was just as horrible to look at in Luffy hand as it was on your arm…but it was fluffy…and you did enjoy a good fluffy animal. “It looks like he’s wearing orange socks.” You observed, glancing up at Luffy whose smile was brighter then the sun beating down on you.

“He does! That’s what we should call him then. Socks!” Luffy broke his statued state to pet the spider again. “Hi, Socks. You’re gonna love it on the Sunny. We’ll even have Franky build you a tank--Oo! Right next to the aquarium!” You snapped away from the spider with a shake of your head. 

“No. That thing--”

“Socks.” Luffy reminded you chipperly. You only huffed. 

“Socks is not coming with us back to the Sunny.” Luffy whined again as you started for your dropped supply pack. 

“But--he’ll be lonely here.” You felt your skin prick in more fear when Luffy’s voice was much closer to you then it had been before. You hesitantly looked to the side to find a thousand beady little eyes staring back at you. You gave a throaty scream that you tried to keep as muffled as you physically could, all but throwing yourself backward.

“He--he has family here, I’m sure.” You said as calmly as you could, pulling your pack onto your shoulder. Luffy groaned, but agreed with you. 

“Yeah.” You watched him place Socks on a moss covered log, saying a quick goodbye to the furry beast. Luffy’s sad face made you feel just the tiniest bit sorry for him…for him and Socks. 

“Luffy…” You said as he grabbed up his stick again and you both started back through the jungle. “I’m sorry we couldn’t keep Socks.” Luffy shrugged.

“Eh. You’re right. He has a family here. A life. I couldn’t take him from that.” Luffy said, that lovely smile of his pulling to his face. “Besides,” He continued, throwing an arm over your shoulders and pulling you into his side. You felt your skin heat and heart start up its pitter-pattering all over again at his closeness. “I wouldn’t want Socks to keep scaring you like that.” He said, nuzzling his face into your cheek. You leaned into his affectionate touch, savoring anything he would give you. 

“Thank you…maybe we can find a less--leggy animal to keep as a pet.” Luffy lit up like one of Usopp’s fireworks. 

“Really?” You nodded, spurring Luffy’s hold on you to fall away despite your want to keep him close. “Awesome! I’m gonna go look!” He stated before bouncing off deeper into the jungle, leaving you to try and calm your racing heart all over again.

Taglist: @fanaticsnail

[astrxq]

okay luna, more spider-man ethan!!! just top of my head, maybe you could write your version of the upside down kiss? cause i know you would write it so sweet and lovesickly!!!!

also luna…when i post my ethan fics can i tag you??? since i feel like we’re a handful of people trying to still keep ethan landry alive (in this world) ANYWAY LOVE YOY💗💗💗💗

superhero etiquette

spiderman!ethan landry x fem!reader

words: 2.9k

notes: yesss!!!! pls tag me, i'm in need of ethan fics. warnings: (mentions of spiders, kissing. i think that's it??) not proofread

"Bug boy?" he repeated the nickname you'd just given him, the white eyes on his mask mimicking his surprised expression. "I'm more of an arachnid."

You hummed, smirking at him before looking forward to the streetlights, your legs kicking back and forth from the edge of the building. "Arachnid, huh?" you responded playfully, raising an eyebrow. "Well, Mr. Arachnid," you corrected.

You tapped your fingers on the rooftop, a mischievous glint in your eyes. "I used to have a friend who owned a pet spider."

His masked face turned to you, intrigue evident even without seeing his real expression. "Oh, really?" he replied, genuinely interested.

You chuckled. "Yeah. She named it Leggy. It was this big, hairy tarantula that she would let crawl all over her arms and everything. She used to say that Leggy had more personality than most people she knew."

The masked hero tilted his head slightly, a small smile forming beneath his mask. "She insisted that I held it once, and I almost cried," you continued, and he snorted a laugh, making the voice modifier glitch for a second. "Hey, don't laugh," you retorted, lightly punching his arm. "It was huge and hairy, okay? Not exactly my cup of tea. But my friend loved that spider like it was her own child."

"Leggy, huh? Maybe I should change my name to that," he shook his head. "Spider-Man sounds kind of lame now." You laughed, and he turned to stare at you for a beat.

"Nah, Spider-Man has a nice ring to it. Plus, it's become pretty iconic. Leggy might give people the wrong idea," you said, teasingly nudging him with your elbow.

He chuckled, the sound muffled by his mask. "Yeah, you're probably right. Can you imagine the headlines? 'Leggy spins a web of justice!' It doesn't have the same impact."

Spider-Man nodded thoughtfully, his eyes pretending to focus on something in the distance the second you turned to look at him, catching him staring. A gentle breeze swept across the rooftop, rustling your hair as you both sat in companionable silence.

"How'd you learn how to swing with those?" you asked, pointing at his wrists. Ethan raised his eyebrows from under the mask in surprise at your interest. "By falling, a lot."

"I can picture that," you said, grinning. The hero moved a hand to his heart, feigning hurt. "Ouch."

You smirked, leaning closer to him. "Don't worry, Mr. Arachnid. I'm sure you've mastered the art of falling gracefully by now," you replied with a playful wink.

Ethan faked a laugh. "You're hilarious."

"Oh, I try my best," you said, playfully batting your eyelashes. "But seriously, swinging through the city like you do must be exhilarating. I can only imagine the adrenaline rush you get."

"It's definitely something else," Ethan replied, smirking once he felt the idea pop into his head. "So… wanna try it?" You widened your eyes at that, wanting to take back your words immediately. "Uh, no. My mom must be waiting for me inside."

"It's 4 a.m."

"Still. She could come into my room and not find me there; she'd freak." Ethan tilted his head, and the mask's bug eyes narrowed as he held back a laugh. He nodded, knowing fully well you were lying through your teeth, and he stood up, offering his hand to help.

Once you were on your feet, ready to say your goodbyes, you felt the gloved hands reach for your waist, pulling you towards the masked boy. You thought he was going to kiss you, just for a second, and then Ethan stretched one of his arms out and leaned down to quickly whisper a "Hold on tight" before a web shot out of the gadget on his wrist, making you yelp.

"No, no, no," you exclaimed as you felt the wind hit your face. You were swinging with Spider-Man, and you were hating it. "Open your eyes, come on!" he said, noticing that you had forced them shut the second your feet were lifted off the ground. "I hate you, I hate you."

"Come on, Y/N! You can't even see where we're swinging!"

"God, this is horrible." The hand that was holding onto his neck tightened, and you uncovered your eyes to wrap another arm around him, trying to steady yourself.

He chuckled, the thrill of the moment evident in his voice. "You'll thank me later, I promise! Besides, you're doing great! Look, you're a natural swinger already!"

"I don't care!" you yelled back, trying to ignore the adrenaline coursing through you. "Just get me back to that rooftop! I'm not cut out for this superhero stuff."

"Don't worry, I got you," Ethan assured, adjusting his web-swinging trajectory to head back to the rooftop you both came from. The city lights below looked like a blur as you swung through the night sky.

As you finally landed back on the rooftop, you staggered a bit, your legs feeling like jelly. Spider-Man steadied you, his grip reassuring. "See, that wasn't so bad, was it?" he said, a teasing tone still present in his voice.

"You're insane, you know that?" you replied, trying to catch your breath. "I hated that."

"You would've loved it if you'd kept your eyes open!"

"Yeah, well, I'd be perfectly content experiencing the city from ground level, thank you very much," you replied, still trying to steady your racing heart with a hand on your chest. Ethan panted as well, hands on his hips as he smiled widely under his mask.

Girls didn't really look at Ethan. He knew he wasn't an ugly boy, and Chad kept reminding him that he was a treat to the eye, but he was incredibly awful at flirting or talking, or something so small such as being near girls. Seeing so many people crushing on Spider-Man gave him the confidence boost he needed; he liked the attention. Whenever he saw himself on the news, he'd sneakily turn up the volume to hear what people said about him, and whenever Chad had a fanboy moment about the masked spider-hero, he'd have to hide his smile.

Ethan's thoughts swirled as he watched you catch your breath, completely unaware of his internal dilemma. The excitement of swinging through the city with you, even if you were initially terrified, had been an unexpected rush for him. But now, as he saw you standing there, a mixture of annoyance and amusement in your eyes, he couldn't help but wish he had met you under different circumstances.

He wondered if you'd like Ethan Landry as much as Spider-Man, if you'd also spend your nights chatting on your rooftop with him if you had met him with his mask off.

"Earth to Leggy," you snapped your fingers in front of the mask's eyes. You saw how his face scrunched up, mentally cursing himself for being caught staring, and you felt your body heat up to your ears at

a shyer version of the hero. "Leggy?" he asked.

"You're right; Bug boy sounds way better."

Ethan tilted his head a little bit, trying to get a good look at you as the city lights hit your face just enough for him to see every detail. "Oh, you're gone again," you said, noticing him zoning off.

"Sorry, I'm keeping you up. You should go rest," you immediately added, taking a step back. "N-no, it's okay," Ethan stammered, feeling flustered by the way you caught him daydreaming.

"I mean, I'm used to being up late, you know, patrolling the city and all. Sleep isn't a big deal for me," he tried to play it cool, but his nerves were getting the best of him. The hands that had been resting on his hips were now awkwardly crossed over his chest.

You didn't really believe him; to you, he was just tired. Him daydreaming about being with you was the last of your thoughts; he was Spider-Man, after all.

"Okay," you whispered once he took two steps closer to where you stood. You felt your breath get caught in your throat, his scent taking over you. "Uhm…" you tried to think of ways to keep the conversation going, your mind going suddenly blank because of him.

"I… I held Leggy once."

"You've said," his voice sounded huskier as he stared down at you through his mask. You felt kind of silly, staring at a red mask full of web patterns and wide, white eyes. You wished he'd take it off, just to see who was the boy you'd been pining over for months, to see him just once. "Yeah… veeery hairy spider," you continued.

He nodded, and reached one of his hands up to your waist, just testing the waters. Your pajama shirt rode up slightly because of the texture of his glove, and you shivered at his hand touching your skin, even if it was covered by that annoying suit. Ethan stared down at his hand, pondering if he should rip out the cloth just to actually feel your skin.

When you didn't make a move to separate from him, he took a deep breath and, with his free hand, he pulled his mask up. Not all the way, you could only see his nose and his mouth, and a few curly hairs that stuck out from the back of his head and from under his ears. Ethan bit his bottom lip, contemplating showing you his whole face, but he wasn't ready. Not yet.

So he dropped the hand down to yours, linking your fingers together as you stared at every feature of his face available to you. He had a button nose, a few freckles near it, and you were certain that the mask still hid many more. His lips were chapped, like he'd been biting on them for a while, the bits of hair you could see seemed very healthy, and you felt like a freak for wondering what shampoo he used, if it smelled like him.

Your breath got heavier, just by looking at him. And Ethan finally let go of his own lip, parting them slightly. You moved your hand to his wrist, holding yourself up while you got on your tiptoes. You were close, so close, and you tightened your hold on his arm.

Ethan yelped when the web-shooter shot a tissue up to the yellow construction crane that towered over your building, making him shoot up along with it. You stared up at him, cheeks hot in embarrassment.

"Oh, God. I'm so sorry," your voice cracked just a bit in shame as Ethan struggled to untie the webs that had swept him up. "It's fine!" he called out, finally dropping down to you. Upside down, one hand holding onto the string, along with his legs, and his free one doing a thumbs up. Well, a thumbs down from your point of view.

When Ethan realized, he flipped it around, and you smiled. He finally cracked into a grin, and you felt like your air was knocked away, taken back by his beautiful smile. He was gorgeous, the small part of his face you could actually see was gorgeous.

"C'mere," he said, reaching his free hand out to your arm, pulling you in so your face was met with his, finally at the same height, even if he was upside down. "The blood will rush to your head if you stay like this for long," you said nervously, feeling kind of shaky.

He shrugged. "Eh, Bug boy can handle it."

"Oh, is that your superhero excuse for everything now?" you teased, trying to lighten the tension between you two. Ethan chuckled softly, and you noticed his cheeks tinting slightly, even under the mask.

"Maybe," he replied playfully. Before you could think of a response, he reached for your face, awkwardly cradling it with only one hand and pulling you closer. You stumbled two small steps forward until your nose brushed against his. And he licked his lips before giving you another toothy grin which you were sure would knock you off your feet if you weren't so focused on imagining how he was going to kiss you, instead.

You opened your mouth, ready to say whatever nonsense was going through your head, but he stopped you by pressing a gentle kiss on your lips, pulling away and tilting his head to get a better angle. He let out a warm breath into your mouth as he relaxed into the kiss.

Afraid of him falling, you held his arm with your hand, your other one going to the side of his face to push his lips even closer to yours. He chuckled against your mouth, making you smile as well. Ethan's arm was growing tired, and his kisses started to get more sloppy and wet as he pushed himself closer to you, almost snapping the web in half by the pressure.

You pulled back, a small string of saliva separating you and Ethan as he grinned. His mask's eyes narrowing, showing you just how his smile covered his whole face. "You sure know how to make a girl feel special," you said, playfully wiping the saliva from your lips with the back of your hand.

"Sorry about that," Ethan said, still grinning. "I guess I got carried away."

You couldn't help but giggle at his adorable and slightly awkward response. "No worries, Bug boy," you teased, poking his chest playfully. "I think you've still got some superhero etiquette to learn."

"Oh, I'll make sure to work on my superhero kissing skills," he replied, feigning seriousness as he put a hand to his heart before gracefully dropping on his feet.

"Good to know," you chuckled. He licked the inside of his cheek, cheekily smiling at you as you teased him. He took one step closer and wrapped his arm around your waist, giving you one more wet kiss on the lips and then moving to your cheek before pulling his mask down fully. "Sorry," he mumbled.

But the way you stared up at him with a smile made him put the cloth up again, pecking your lips four times before stepping back. "Okay. I'm done," he promised, and you chuckled as he tightened his hands into fists, clearly struggling not to touch you again.

You couldn't help but laugh at Ethan's adorable struggle to control himself.

[ghostingcrows]

I used to talk about this a lot but 

IDW Prowl is probably one of the most complex characters in the comics and I absolutely hate it when hes reduced down to “the asshole character”

Cause like

Yeah sure hes got a bit of a stick up his ass

But I feel like people just end there analysis of him there

Has he committed a lot of war crimes and done unethical stuff

Yes

But so has literally EVERYONE else in this universe

Starscream is literally the pinnacle of war crimes

The comics make a point calling out even Optimus for his questionable actions and orders during the war with the Dinobots saying he makes them do the dirty work for him

Megatron literally commits genocide and yet his story ends with an alternate version of him going free and exploring the universe with the LL

The literal war lord was treated better and is looked upon more positively than Prowl and I think it just came down to how fucked Prowl got by the writers

Because while Megatrons redemption was all in your face and you got a shit ton of flashbacks that try to justify the eventual atrocities he would commit you don’t get that with Prowl

Even when Prowl is absolutely in the right you constantly have it disregarded by characters making jokes about him overreacting (being mad OP is sending the space tyrant away with free reign of his own ship isn’t overreacting btw-) and as such you start to think of him as a genuinely irrational character when hes not

Prowl is bad at keeping the relationships he forms yes 

But he is not always at fault for that

While his relationship with CD ended poorly Chromedome is also shown to be kinda of a dick sometimes and commits his fair share of fucked up things such as when he literally ATTACKS PROWL AND FORCES HIS WAY INTO HIS MIND TO PROTECT HIMSELF FROM THE CONSEQUENCE OF HIS ACTIONS WHEN PROWL THREATENS TO TELL REWIND ABOUT THE SHITTY STUFF HE DID IN HIS PAST

This leads to Prowls inevitable snowball out of control when this attack leads to an opening for Bombshell (I think its been a while since I read the comics) to use his tech to mind control him forcing him into combining with the contructicons

Something we learn is an immensely intimate thing with their minds being kinda melded 

This was something Prowl did not want 

And when all was said and done and he was calmed down he still had to live with that gesalt he was forced into with them following him around like fanboys

Nobody ever even really stopped to check in on him 

And as such he understandable went a little bit insane

He had just faced an immensely traumatic invasion of his body and mind and on top of stress form feeling like everything was out of his control and like he couldn’t stop the bad things from happening alongside bitter emotions being brought back up with a return visit to Earth and reunion with spike AND the fact that he feels like Optimus doesn’t trust him and like hes just letting Starscream do whatever he want (something that understandably freaks him out seeing as how he spent 4 million years fighting Starscream) he just kinda snaps

He trys to destroy the space bridge so that no one else can leave or get through and so he can regain some semblance of control

Is it wrong

Yes

But he was not in a good state of mind and no one was helping him at all 

And immediately following his arrest afterward Prowl is confronted by OP who is supposed to be his friend and when Prowl doesn’t say the right things to him to placate him Optimus’ response is to punch him out a window and beat the shit out of him

And not being given any room to breath this is immediately follow up my him getting kidnapped by Tarantulas who is very obviously an impactful and negative part of his past

Prowl just has bad event, one after the other, happen to him over and over again and not only does no one check up on him afterwards to see if hes okay but everyone actively makes fun of him for being understandable unstable

Prowl is a fucking tragedy and not many people seem to be able to see beyond what characters in the comics think of him

[vechter]

Top 5 Dick headcanons?

1. dick having long term impacts from blüdhaven being bombed (n52 i'm furiously pretending you don't exist)- i just don't think dick should ever be able to talk about the city he chose to protect that got nuked bc he got under a cringe old man's skin. even years later, he wakes up from nightmares about chemo being dropped. he can't talk about it. it's his biggest failure, his biggest what-if. he can't talk about it still. the guilt occasionally threatens to eat him alive. if he had never vowed to protect it, would it still be standing? also i know continuity about where exactly he was at the time is confusing- infinite crisis puts him in new york but his own solo has him in the thick of the action in blüd, which is my personal preference. i would also like to see long term impacts from the level of radiation he was exposed to. a few chemical burns, possibly sterility (an interesting thing to explore that his parents' legacy biologically dies with him- he is the last grayson. but persists in the way he has taught those around him to fly and catch.) plus i want bruce to feel insane about this because no one else will understand how dick feels about a city like bruce does. also, bruce regretting not having stepped in earlier when dick was in the mob or the circus was burning down. it's one of his biggest regrets, too.

2. dick moves back to new york after bruce comes back bc new york has always shepherded and saved him. he went there when he lost robin, when he lost blüdhaven. preferably, he moves in with donna or roy because the year he spent being batman changed something intrinsically in his code and he needs to be around people who love him for him. he doesn't know how much of it was an act, how much of it was the mission, how much of it was grief. he never wanted to be like bruce and yet. yet. also a big fan of dick convincing tim to move to san francisco with young justice after bruce comes back because he is seeing what gotham, what batman is doing to his brother. tim stays there for a year, attends college before upping and moving to new york, instead. far enough from gotham but still tethered to batman. it is a little brother's prerogative to copy everything your big brother does <3

3. he and cass have a complicated dynamic. they both see and understand bruce in a way no one else does. it can sometimes be a good thing because they feel seen. but it also leads to conflict and subsequent resentment and hurt. and they both feel guilty about it because they know the other person has nothing but good intentions and their heart in the right place. also, dick is an intensely private person so for cass to be able to clock his lies, his performative nature- it often feels like too much. people are always watching him but cass sees him. and i don't imagine dick being too pleased about that. meanwhile, cass, to whom bruce and babs are probably the most important people, also feels a degree of resentment that they both are so intensely abnormal about dick, even when dick lashes out/hurts them. i miss cass throwing dick out of windows, it was so fun. but also, their entire approach to vigilantism and the concept of perfection. there is so much untapped potential for them to have excellent conflicts and resolutions. also idk where i saw this but cass being unable to do a quadruple and dick privately gloating about that. hilarious <3

4. recurrent knee pain. listen, the boy is an acrobat and he tends to stick his landings on unforgiving terrain like concrete and roof-tops. plus, firefly shot him in his right leg and he spent a big chunk of canon on crutches and wearing a brace. sometimes, your body recovers from an injury but it is never the same again. a notable part of the pain is also psychosomatic. it reminds him of one of the worst times in his life- the circus burning, his apartment being blown up, blockbuster, tarantula, etc. and how much of a failure he thinks he was during that time. like i said, the guilt often threatens to eat him alive so ofc the long-term, intermittent pain of an injury like that is mixed with immense mental stress as well.

5. his most intense and most private thoughts about jason and tim. things he hates himself for thinking, things even truth serum or magic or whacky comic shenanigans wouldn't pull out of him. bruce took on jason as robin to get over the pain of losing dick and somewhere deep, deep inside, dick resents both of them for it. because jason died in his colours, under his name. and now they all live in a post-jason world, jason included. and maybe if bruce had never had jason, he wouldn't have ever lost him and bruce could still be the man/god that dick unquestionably put his faith in.

building up on this, their first real interaction after bruce punches dick for confronting him about jason's death is primarily because of tim. tim is the catalyst for the events in a lonely place of dying.

and while i don't subscribe to the bruce-is-abusive-camp, i think exploring scenarios where dick leaves bruce for good is so compelling. like i don't fuck with batman beyond and don't claim to be super knowledgeable about those runs, but what is enough for dick? what would make him abandon bruce? what would make him come back? it's so neat to explore. and i think in a world where dick decides bruce is unforgivable, he would come back for the kids. in fact, he does come back for terry and bruce is perhaps the most expressive we see in terms of his regrets about dick, about missing dick, about hurting him but dick doesn't really want to listen.

and i think, that interaction post jason's death altered their dynamic fundamentally. it makes dick go to therapy lol. and we never see on-screen resolution of that, just a continued glimpse into bruce's worsening spiral. so, i think, it's interesting to consider how dick would view tim's role in this. like yes, he loves and adores tim (a thousand ninjas wouldn't be enough, the closest thing i have to a little brother).

but does he privately wonder what would have happened if tim hadn't come in and dragged them both in a situation where they have no option but to co-exist semi-harmoniously? it took tim for them to talk again but is that really for the better? or for the worse? because dick's devotion to bruce is not only detrimental to his mental health, it is often straight-up dangerous for him. and while dick may be unable to recognize the mental strain it puts him under, he would probably have a sort of inkling of the physical harm. taking back blackgate all alone for bruce, the time bruce hits him when he thinks gordon is dead, the time he jumps in front of a blast aimed for bruce, the time bruce has superman's powers and beats dick down when dick calls him out.

6. a fun, small one. he had a threesome with kory and roy in the outsiders era exactly once. it made sense because he loves them and he knows they loved donna just as much as he did. it was soft and fun and a very transparent attempt to get dick to let down his walls. dick left when they were both asleep, cried when he went home and they never spoke of it again.

[technobrain]

My Zero Day Au!

this AU started out as a list of headcanons but eventually I got carried away and it evolved into an AU!

A quick warning, this list includes NSFW, some violent mentions, and Caldre! be careful!!

Cal is taller than Andre

keep in mind these are made up as I go, so they're a tad bit sloppy! Please excuse any minor typos!! English also isn't my first language 😭🩷

ftm Cal

subdre. no comment.

Cal has dissociation problems, he never feels like he's centered and mentally *there* when he's around people, but when he's alone or with Andre he's able to ground himself and actually think

if they were to have the option to escape after zero day and live their lives afterwards as a different identity, Andre would take it, Cal wouldn't.

Andre has a HUGE soft spot for animals. Cal is indifferent. Cal doesn't view animals as sentient, living beings. He's not heartless, though. He still had love for animals, especially Mel, he just has a hard time comprehending that they're conscious.

Andre has chronic pain, it centers in his waist down and eventually gets a service dog for mobility and emotional regulation. He had to quit all sports he was in because of it. He still has a hard time coping with it.

Andre is embarrassed of his sd, often telling it to lay down and then walking away. He eventually realizes why he has it, and goes back to get it. He never goes far in the first place, mostly just meanders around the room, area, or house for a bit before going back.

Andre has anger issues, consistently has outbursts in class and storms out.

When Andre walks out, his adrenaline makes him more mobile, so he often forgets to get his sd. his sd trails behind him, poking him with it's nose and pawing him, trying to calm him down. Andre walks for a while before getting to a private area, sitting down, and only then letting his sd help him.

Cal walks absurdly fast, Andre hates him for it.

Cal cuts his shirts at the neck, and then never wears the shirt again because he hates how it makes him more feminine. Andre beats him up over it, saying how if he just didn't want the shirt, he could've gave it to him. Cal says something about how he wants the shirt still, it's a good shirt that he likes, he just doesn't like how it's cut at the neck now. Wording it like it's a design choice. Andre drops the conversation before he has an outburst.

Andre fell for Cal first, Cal fell for Andre around 3 months later.

They never really established a relationship, their friendship just slided from being platonic, to being slightly more than that, to "Hey are we, like, dating?"

Cal likes pda, Andre doesn't. Cal is also into exhibitionism, Andre isn't. Cal never acts on it, just highly praises it. Andre doesn't even entertain the idea.

Cal got Andre started on za, Cal admits he's got a *small* problem, while Andre mostly just doesn't care either way.

Cal is more of a smoker, Andre is more of a drinker.

Cal is on 7 million medications, always switching them up. Even his doctors can't keep up on what he's on, what dosage, etc.

Andre, on the contrary, is on maybe 2 medications, one of which being Advil. he just counts it as a medication because he wants to relate to Cal, failing miserably.

Cal listens to Lana Del Rey. Guilty pleasure.

Cal texts with about 10 million emojis, Andre uses proper grammar. Capitalization, punctuation, the whole nine yards.

Cal has a pet tarantula named Spike after the my little pony character.

Andres sd is named Sascha, and she's a girl. Despite Sascha Konietzko being a boy.

Cal and Rachel are cousins. Rachel often playfully threatens Cal with "IM TELLING YOUR MOTHER" if she doesn't get her way. Cal takes her a bit too seriously and gets genuinely mad at her over this, yelling at her.

Cal has bpd and adhd.

Andre has flat foot, scoliosis, and chronic pain. nomatter how many tests they do, they can't find out where the chronic pain comes from.

Andre is a germaphobe. Cal is the opposite. Cal will touch a bathroom door handle and lick his hand. Andre goes through two bottles of bath and body works hand sanitizer per month.

Andre has HFA (high functioning autism). this often causes him to not understand social queues, making it even harder for him to make friends. Another reason why he has Sascha.

Both Andre and Cal have paranoia, always scared someone's listening in, reading their minds, planting hearing devices on things they own, etc. They feed off eachother, making eachother even more paranoid.

Andre has mild visual hallucinations, Cal has mild auditory hallucinations.

Cal has vocal stims. he likes repeating things. he'll repeat something Andre said a million times., he meows randomly, he clicks his tongue, hums, etc.

Andre and Cal play in the rain together all the time, i stole this from someone sorry, only difference is Andre HATES wet dog smell, so he'll leave Sascha on whoevers porch has an overhang so she doesn't get wet. She sits and watches them play, watching Andre very closely. When he starts doing something she knows will hurt him, she'll start barking at them and pawing at the air. Andre coos at her and gives her a treat.

Cal HATES Sascha. With a passion. He says she's big, dumb, gets in the way, and is a collateral for audio trackers. Andre gets extremely mad at Cal over this and has yelled at him multiple times for dissing her.

Sascha and Mel get along really well and often cuddle with eachother!!

Sascha is a Golden Shepherd, all black, with a couple gold spots on her hips. Cal calls them her cutie marks.

Rachel loves Sascha, having to hold back from petting her every time she's around Andre.

Andre is known as "the guy with the dog" in school, he hates it. He can't wait for Zero Day so he's not known as that anymore.

Sascha hates guns. When the boys would take Sascha to their shooting spot, Sascha would circle Andre and growl at Chris, or anyone really, when they were holding guns. When Andre would get his hands on one, she would go back to normal, but continue snarling at other people with them.

Cal's younger siblings love Sascha, cuddling with her and holding her all the time when she's off-duty

Andre was a party animal, Cal was a home body. Andre fucking *loved* parties, always dragging Cal along to them, before the Zero Day plan really fell into play. after that he kinda died down and muted his interests, becoming more dull and flat as the day got closer. In the end, Andre was a pure ball of anger and frustration. Cal never changed.

Cal enjoyed living in the moment, Journaling, listening to more whimsical music, sitting by the creek and watching the water.

Cal got dysphoric really easily. He'd end up in tears over how his shirts fitted him, if they showed too much chest. Andre bought him a binder after his parents were skeptical, always scared of the side effects.

Cal was actually really popular, he was just really odd and peculiar and when he started to get close to people, he started to freak people out with stims. He was more of a drifter friend that way.

Cal LOVES roller-coasters. especially small fair ones. He loves the danger. Andre loves roller-coasters but in a safe way.

Andre likes romcoms. Cal found out and never leaves him alone about it.

☆Andre falls for internet bait WAYYY too easily.

Both of them secretly sleep with teddy bears and can't sleep without them or without eachother. They never told eachother.

The Gabriel's made sure to bury Cal with his teddy in-between his hands. The Kriegman's were actually very civil with the Gabriel's and agreed to have them buried next to eachother, but refused to have them share a headstone. (in death Andre and Cal were fucking FUMING over this.) Andre's mom snuck Andre's teddy into his coffin.

Andre and Cal swapped dog tags before Zero Day. Andre wanted to trade with Sascha's, but Cal said "it's not the army of three it's the army of two"

Andre would always joke about Sascha being included in the army of two and often had to correct himself from saying the army of three instead of the army of two.

Andre never turned down a dare. He did it, nomatter how outlandish and dangerous it was. He got hurt multiple times.

Andre and Cal are both blanket hogs and often wake up to them fighting over the blanket.

Cal can do really cool flips on a trampoline. Like, it's absurd.

Andre didn't know how to bond with Cal's siblings at further so he just showed them a bunch of magic tricks and then acted like he'd known them forever.

☆ - inspired / stolen from Caldrea

Cal and Andre would talk so much shit about people it was like a middle school girls sleepover.

♧ Cal is also a huge metal head. Been to every metal concert in the area, even if he didn't know the band. He used to drag Andre around to them, but when Andre got Sascha he had to stop going.

Cal has a doodling problem, will doodle anywhere and everywhere. He's amazing at graffiti. Andre will often spend hours at the sink washing off Cal's doodles. not before he got a video of them though. Cal stick n poke's so many tattoos into his body that he couldnt wear shorts anymore.

♧ inspired / stolen from bottledkriegman

♤ Andre would play the knife game in the back of class when he was in middle school.

Andre was actually very popular in middle/elementary school, he only got picked on by the older kids.

Cal heavily procrastinates his school work, and ALWAYS copies off of Andre. Andre doesn't really mind, and even takes notes specifically for things he knows Cal would need.

♤ 4792beretta inspired / stolen ones lol

Andre would stomp up to his room but close the door really quietly. Cal would do the same thing but he'd just slam the door.

Andre always closes doors by turning the handle, closing the door, then twisting the handle back. Andre got mad at Cal all the time for "slamming doors". Really, Cal was just closing them normally.

Andre is a fucking whiney bitch. he'll bitch and moan and complain about something FOREVER. He also holds grudges.

Before Andre got Sascha, he was HUGE into sports. He loved track, he loved swimming, he loved soccer. Him and Cal actually met while playing soccer.

Andre and Cal are in an established relationship, but they don't act like it. They think it's 'cringe'.

NSFW WARNING!!!

Anyway, Cal is a horrible kisser. He ends up giggling or kissing with his teeth or something and Andre gets extremely mad at him over it, but never expresses it.

Cal is surprisingly good at giving head though, in contrary to his kissing skills. Andre asks him how the fuck he can give better head than he can kiss.

Andre is so awkward in bed. It often doesn't work out because Andre makes it so awkward it's a turn-off. He'll just start talking and eventually they're just sitting there naked on the bed having a chat about spaghetti or something.

Sascha gets anxious when Andre kicks her out of the room to have sex with Cal. She'll scratch at the doors, whimper, and eventually just lay there with her back to the door all sad.

Sascha doesn't go off-duty necessarily. She's always by Andre. She alerts him on or off duty, and refuses to leave his side unless commanded to.

Cal is hypersexual, Andre is demisexual. Cal will often initiate but Andre will just tweak the fuck out and shut down for a bit. Cal is always guilty about it. Andre will also never initiate anything, so Cal HAS to initiate it. Andre has told him to initiate it. It's really just a 50/50 if Andre will reciprocate or tweak the fuck out.

Neither Andre or Cal put labels to their sexualities, but Andre is a cis man and Cal, as labeled before, is a trans man.

When Cal and Andre met, Cal wasn't out yet. They met playing soccer in elementary. They only got close after Cal came out in middle school.

Andre didn't know Cal was trans until they first had sex. Andre, being oblivious, just thought Cal was really feminine when he was younger. Andre was VERY shocked. Cal was very confused on how Andre didn't know beforehand. Andre had to take a break and contemplate for a bit, sitting on the edge of the bed holding his face in his hands. Cal thought he wasn't going to accept him, but after a minute or two Andre just turned to face Cal, and acted like nothing fucking happened and still took him to pound town lmfao

Cal has suggested the idea of having sex while high or drunk, Andre refuses because he deems it to be rape, doesn't matter if their in a relationship or not. "Intoxicated people cannot consent."

NSFW OVER!!!

Andre is the definition of the ☹️ emoji sometimes.

Andre and Cal fake role play. Cal will just say some shit like "eats your toe." and Andre will reply with "DUDE WHAT THE FREAK!! THAT WAS LITERALLY MY hashtag TOE!!!!!"

Cal will FaceTime Andre crying because he dropped a bagel on the floor and is sad about it.

Cal will also FaceTime Andre when he doesn't know how to do something.

for example; He'll call him and Andre will pick up on the most peculiar predicament. Cal will look into the camera, tears streaming down his face, flip the camera onto whatever is his grievance now, and Andre will sigh and explain it to him. Cal will then fumble with the phone for a second before flipping the camera again, millennial pausing, and giving him a thumbs up with a toothy grin, tears still streaming down his face.

Cal used to pick his nose and eat it as a kid.

Andre either loves or hates being touched. Cal is a big toucher. Drake levels of touching coming from Cal and occasionally Andre. when Andre doesn't like being touched but Cal wants to cuddle, him and Cal will lay side by side as a form of bonding that'll still put them in close proximity, and keep both of them in their comfort zones.

Cal does this thing where during class activities that involve whiting things on white boards, he puts the edgiest thing ever on it and waits for the classes reaction. Nobody knows it's him that does it.

These were written before I decided Zero Day hasn't happened yet.

Andre took Sascha with him to Zero Day. She followed him around during the shooting, jumping occasionally at the loud noises. Cal goes to shoot her on multiple occasions, but changes his mind before the trigger was pulled on her because, a, what if Andre needs her, and b, Cal is still an animal lover in the end.Sascha almost stopped Andre from shooting himself at the end of Zero Day. he had to send her to a bookshelf and lay her down in order to get her out of the way. Cal asked him, "can I shoot her now?" and Andre replied "Abso-fucking-lutely not. Don't even try."After Zero Day, Sascha unlearned all her training from the ptsd, retired, and is now the Gabriel family dog, along with Mel. the Kriegman's didn't want her or Mel after the shooting. Sascha is mostly deaf, but if she does hear a loud noise she'll run to Cal's room and curl up under the bed for hours.Mel, after police came to investigate Andre's room and Andre nor Sascha came back, stopped leaving Andre's room. Not even to go to the bathroom or eat. The Kriegman's had to gut Andre's room afterwards. Not like they wanted to keep anything anyway. Nobody got to inherit anything from his room. No reporters were allowed to see his room, only police.When police got into the library, they found Sascha beside Andre, cuddled up to him between him and Cal. they thought she was dead until she lifted her head to look at them and snarl at them. when Paramedics came in, one handled her and brought her out of the school. She had unlearned her training at that point, the only hassle with her was getting her away from Andre's body.Sascha was planned to be put down before the Gabriel's came to collect her. the Kriegman's wanted nothing to do with her. "wasted money."Cal's death was taken with a lot more emotion from his family than Andre's was with the Kriegman's. Cal's parents were on site in the span of 30 minutes. the Gabriel's mourned with all the other families before it got out that Cal was one of the shooters. After that, some of the other families turned on them and started to isolate them. Others continued to mourn with them, encouraging the others to do the same. They all lost children that day. the Kriegman's didn't even show up. They knew it was Andre the second they found out there was a shooting. His mother was more emotional than his dad in the grieving process.

this is getting wayyyy too long so I'm gonna stop here and make a part 2 later!!

Thank you for reading!

[luveline]

Since we’ve seen zombie au with Steve may we have a little something of vampire!eddie?

Sorry I don’t have any sort of plot in mind, I just think vampire!eddie is cool :)

thank u for your request! vampire!eddie x ditzy!reader

"Eddie," you say, in that meandering way you do, like talking is a pastime with no urgent goal at the end, "one of your friends is in the bathroom."

Eddie blinks, the spoon in his hand quickly put back into the bowl of cereal it had risen from. "What?" 

"One of your friends is in the bathroom," you say, and only now does he notice you have soap all over your face. Suds in your brows and the baby hairs of your hairline, across the soft hill of your chin and at your nostrils. 

"Baby, you've half-washed your face. Come here." 

You sit at the dining table beside him and Eddie sets to work, one hand on your thigh, the other your face as he dabs the soap away with his hoodie sleeve. Your eyes flutter closed at his gentle touches. Eddie feels satisfaction in knowing you trust him to be so close while you're unguarded. You've never been scared of him, but Eddie is scary. He can hear your heart slow as he finishes, and that's when he wonders why it had been beating quickly to begin with.

He tries not to listen to your heart. It plagues him when he's hungry, and it feels like a strange invasion of privacy. "Sorry, it's freaky, but I can hear your heart–" 

"Sorry for what?" you ask. 

Eddie shakes his head fondly and chucks you under the chin. He wants to go back to his cereal, but he continues, "What has your pulse up?" 

"I told you, baby, there's a friend in the bathroom." 

Eddie knows better than to expect an explanation. He puts his bowl of cereal in front of you in case you're hungry, kisses the top of your head, and goes to investigate the bathroom. 

Eddie's shocked as he opens the door. The bathroom is in extreme disarray, which isn't unusual for you typically but he cleaned it last night, and you may be scatterbrained but you don't often leave the faucet blasting hot water full pelt. He turns it off, collects the pile of tipped laundry on the floor, and wonders how best to ask you if you're feeling alright when he notices something alarmingly large. Your soapy face is explained, as well as your quick-beating heart. You must've seen what he's seeing and run away. 

"Holy fuck," he says, flinching back hard into washing machine. "Holy fuck! What the fuck is that?" 

"So you've found your friend?" you ask from the hallway. 

Eddie scrambles sideways out of the bathroom and into the hall with you, almost knocking the bowl of cereal clean from your hands. "That thing is not my friend." 

"What? I thought you liked spiders, they subsist off of the same kinds of things," you murmur, a little drop of milk at the corner of your mouth. You lick it away absentmindedly.

"A spider could slap my ass and hand me a cheque for a million bucks and I still wouldn't like him," Eddie denies, peering into the bathroom cautiously. The Spider had been hanging down from a web and nearly as big as Eddie's hand. He's not making friends with that. "And how about you, huh? I thought you liked spiders? You keep enough of them." 

Sometimes you'll keep a spider inside of a mason jar for artistic purposes, sketching them before setting them free. "Yeah, Eds, I like spiders," you say around your spoon, "not tarantulas." 

He waves a hand at you, vaguely irritated. You giggle and offer him a spoonful of cereal, which he accepts. The two of you stand and chew with your backs against the bannister, staring at the bathroom door. Too afraid to look away, and too afraid to go back inside. 

"Wanna seal it off?" he asks eventually, morosely, knowing he's not brave enough to go and deal with it. 

"Yes." You scrape the bottom of the bowl with the spoon. "We could call Steve?" 

"I'm not calling Steve." 

"Okay. Hey, this could be good for us. Peeing outside connects you to nature, or something." 

Eddie sighs and rubs his pale face. He's way too hungry to deal with this, for both cereal and something less family friendly. He can't tell you, though. You keep offering to let him bite you. "Alright," he sighs. "I'll call Harrington." 

"Then you'll have two friends in the bathroom," you say, nearly to yourself as you begin down the stairs, "like a party. I'll go make you some more cereal." 

"Thanks, sweetheart," Eddie says with a relieved laugh, closing the bathroom door and drawing a cross against the woodgrain.

He doesn't notice the shadow of his definitely-not-friend as it squeezes under the doorway.