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#i dunno i'm just. i do not have a sense of self. i do not have a sense of identity.
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What can I say? They're my favorite.
#twdg#twdg clouis#clouis#twdg clementine#twdg louis#sometimes they creep back into my mind and i'm like 'ah yes' like a crow admiring a pretty stone they found years ago and kept#also thank you pi for the screenshots. i used to have a whole folder full of them but that was when i was doing themed nights#the source for these is me i just have a random document full of dynamics and ship things i enjoy because.....i dunno i like keeping track#and so many of them apply to clouis but there's also an overlap of with clouis and rose/alistair [my warden from origins and alistair] like#alistair's romance route is like an evolved matured and extended version of clouis sksksks gee i wonder if i have a type#look you present me with a character who deflects with humor and isn't taken seriously by the rest of the group and the longer you know the#the more you realize how high they've built a wall around themselves and how *unwell* they really are and how they're not as sunshine#as they present themselves and also they avoid leadership and responsibility until they grow closer with someone who pushes them#and they end stronger and more balanced as a person while finding the affection they've craved#and also there's the daddy issues#present me with that character as a romantic option and i'm in no questions asked okay i don't want the mean broody one that's meh to me#i want the one that has every reason to be broody but chooses not to be because they have a completely different defense mechanism#and a warped sense of themselves and self-esteem issues they leave unaddressed until forced to face them#i'm just saying i'm aware that i have a type i'm always going to gravitate toward clouis nearly checks all the boxes#also the lack of clouis these days? my crops are thirsty and i have too many ongoing projects to do anything about it other than this sksks#so until i make time to finish my long ass louis/clouis analysis this is the best i can provide for now
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sysig · 8 months
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Is torial and asgore still together in the fell!handplates au? Is that the divergence from Canon? that instead of torial disagreeing with asgore about war and leaving she instead agreed and encouraged vengeance for their children?
If that is the case who do you think ends up living in the ruins? I know what probably happened with gaster but if he chooses to leave with the boys would he live In the ruins as an escape?
Haha, that was what I thought as well! I don't really know much about fanon-agreed-upon Fellplates tbqh, but when it came up in conversation, we talked about how since they're both on the same page vis a vis killing humans, they probably would still be together haha - or that Toriel still lives in the Ruins and only comes out to beat up Gaster lol
Personally I like her being in the castle with Asgore, murder power couple <3 And she'd have very direct access to bully Gaster! I see this as an absolute win
I'm not sure, Gaster escaping with the boys isn't something I'd considered before :0 I think the Ghosts definitely still hang around the Ruins, so I don't know how dangerous it would be for them to live there if they were hostile. There's also something? weird? about Fell!Mercyplates that I can't quite put my finger on haha
And remember, this is still Zarla's AU! I just it like a bunch ♥
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schadenfreudich · 4 months
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My existence is a trauma response and I think that shows
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xavieremix · 15 days
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okay so the tags on that last post got me feeling those melon collies so i'm just gonna. tagdump in here. slightly sensitive topics? so uh. scroll down (or press J to jump to next post). or read my thoughts like the morning paper. sorry. cheers.
#edit: oh cool the mature content warning doesn't actually hide the tags? that's fucked.#i'll drag these to the top hopefully it'll push some lines back#one last space-filler tag for the road - weird brain thoughts afterwards#i dunno i'm just. i do not have a sense of self. i do not have a sense of identity.#essentially anything i can ascribe to myself is worn in the same vein that it fits close enough.#like clothes picked out after hours of unsuccessful shopping and im just tired and want to go home#am i a writer? sure. i write decently. i have a decent grasp of sentence structure. puts me leagues above plenty of other writing i see.#but then when i actually decide that i should write something i'm just filled with dread.#i can't respond to rp's i enjoy with partners i enjoy. i can't write fics about prompts and premises that i like.#am i a gamer? sure. i got multiple consoles; multiple game sources for each console; a backlog of games ive had to catalog.#but when i try to pick one out to play i just. don't want to. nothing appeals. nothing looks fun. i ask for suggestions and i take none.#anything singleplayer i have to stream or it's not fun. anything multiplayer i have to coordinate with others until we get bored.#what do i *do?* what do i *enjoy?*#i can keep myself occupied if needed but at the end of the day im not fulfilled#am i a programmer? that's the closest thing to enjoyment i've gotten in a long time#but do i actually enjoy the act of programming or do i enjoy the result#where at the end of the day i can show off what i made and get lauded with praise#i get a similar sense of satisfaction when im doing tech support and pull something out my ass and everybody goes “whoa how'd you do that”#the analogy that i've used a lot is how in some games at the start it's fine and fun#you're getting progression you're making progress you're learning and earning#but eventually it just. stops. there's more - not just in theory; it's right there! you can see it! - but it's just. so far away.#you can get there EVENTUALLY but it's just a grind. just a slogfest. there's more to unlock. more to explore. just sign in today. tomorrow.#keep coming back. you'll get there. eventually. it'll take forever.#now if this was an ACTUAL video game people would recommend that you stop and step away. does it spark joy? no? stop playing.#but ah. i can't quite stop playing this one.#and don't worry! i don't plan on putting down the controller! even though i mope and grump and weirdtalk my way down this hill#there is ZERO chance of me doing that.#but i ah. don't have a desire to keep playing.#it's a weird middle state to be in. don't wanna put down the controller. don't want to keep playing. i am just sitting here.#ive been attributing my more frequent thoughts on the matter to the whole roommate situation
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defiant-firefly · 6 months
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(I've had my chatty medicines so you get a post about this)
There is something distinctly and uniquely alienating and bizarre about hearing people say 'Easter Sunday is the most religious day of the year'. Like, when was this?? If it's so religious and so so so important, how come no one thought to tell me it was religious until like four or five years ago?
Yeah it's kinda funny but I'm also sat there every time like "what the fuck are you talking about". The assumption I was raised Christian and am Christian via culture is really funny though cause like. Bro I have no fucking clue what any of this stuff is about.
My parents never taught me the majority of this shit. Anyone else assumed I already knew about it. This Easter talk I've been hearing about a weird amount more than normal is all new to me and making me think of all this shit lmao
#no I'm not joking about only realising it was religious a handful of years back#but it IS weird to see people talk about what MUST be my default beliefs given my country and just#very little of it being true?? I don't see a lot of this talk at the moment I just heard my dad talking about easter and it got me thinking#so don't mind me really but like.#as an example of what I mean. its assumed christian cultures push the belief of going to heaven when you die#it's probably true! but not for me. I was raised to belief that when you died you became a star in the sky#specifically on the first night you were the brightest star in the sky so everyone could see you#APPARENTLY this is greek?? I dunno man but it's not heaven lmao#there were loads of little every day things I remember seeing a while back that were listed as this stuff too#and I don't remember them at all but there were only a few there that I recognised as my own beliefs#i feel like i was raised culturally... i guess blank? so I picked up my own beliefs over time??#does that make sense?? is that a thing?? actually wondering if it's just me that gets this#cause it was only two years ago I found out valentines was a saints thing#wondering if anyone else was just raised with a 'I dunno its whatever' thing instead of a culturally religious thing#cause it IS weird seeing posts treating this knowledge as something everyone has I dunno#but ANYWAY it's funny sitting there while people are stunned you didn't know about the 'most religious day of the year'#my mans my only religious experiences were very VERY brief and I was mostly annoyed I couldn't eat the gummy bears on the impaled orange#what in the fuck is that about btw??? honestly what's the deal with that one???#why is there a whole service revolving around an orange with a bunch of cocktail sticks in it???#I don't even remember when that was I think it was end of the year time or something???#there was nothing to do so obviously my child self wasn't interested at all in anything but the orange#I need to look this up now I guess but without the context I'm supposed to have apparently this genuinely sounds batshit insane#I don't remember what I was talking about imma hit post and forget this whole thing and not reread anything#firefly life#<- probably. I don't remember
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hannahchronism · 6 months
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my entire internet experience really can kind of boil down to "is this person being unnecessarily confrontational about shit you could just not engage with or am i aggressively nonconfrontational and will avoid things that should be addressed?" and then spending the next week thinking about it with increasing levels of still being unsure
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sapsolais · 7 months
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#i wanted 2 post this on twt but word limit + fear of being Jumped so here we are! DSKJFHKSDJHF anyways#thinking abt the plague that is Individualism and how so many people agree it's harmful on certain axes but neglect to acknowledge how they#still have this mindset on other axes#saw a post where disabled leftists were (rightfully) criticizing self-centered “leftists”. but i'd seen this post after narrowly avoiding#the same Bullshit Queer Discourse#and witnessing these two things side by side made me think like. Huh.#in both instances you have a group of people who consider themselves to be “just” and “progressive” but neglect members of their communitie#and fail to acknowledge their own narrow-mindedness. despite attempted corrections from said neglected members of these communities.#and it's FUNNIER when you have people who claim to be all about love when they hold 0 love for their communities. that's the thing i think#there are sooooooooooooo SO many people online who are only interested in talking about Themselves. and not in the 'people like me are#are often overlooked and others need to be aware of this' type of way. no. i mean like people engaging with meaningless discourse online#trying to prove that They are going through something UNIMAGINABLY hard and that their word is absolute (it is usually just white#folks in their twitter echo chambers in all honesty. i'm sure there are other instances but i cannot speak on those.)#so you have people who are so self absorbed. people who cannot grow until they stop making shit about Them Only#these are the same people who will talk about being “lovers” like you are a hateful ass person do NOT lie#where is the genuine care and love for your community?? Everyone involved in that? do you listen? do you hold yourself accountable for your#mistakes? are you okay with being wrong? do people feel safe around you?#are you okay with trying because you care and not because other people are watching? would you do it if people weren't?#i dunno. i hope this makes some sort of sense#sap says#i could talk abt this for HOURS so i'll stop here. for now
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skylarsblue · 2 years
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I still have more. More Incorrect Quotes.
(Accidentally had a lot more fem!Y/N than intended but it's overall GN!) Alex: What made you think you’d be good for the military? Y/N: I worked at a Waffle House in America. Alex: Ah, alright, that makes sense.
-- (Interrogating Valeria)
Y/N: Look, Gaz, you know me. I can't- I can't do it. Gaz: Why not? Why can't you interrogate her? Y/N: Because I'm a bisexual with mommy issues, Gaz. And she's as pretty as she is scary. I'm already not that intimidating, she'll laugh at me when I start stuttering and then I'll just be horny. It can't be me. Gaz: ....okay, I'll ask Alejandro-
-- Y/N: I just realized something...I had a bad childhood. Gaz: Yeah we know. Y/N: What do you mean you know? Soap: Look at how you stand! People who had good childhoods don't stand like that. Y/N: How do I stand?! Gaz: Like Ghost. Ghost: ...I don't appreciate the call out but fair-
-- Price: Where are you going?! Y/N: To either get ice cream or commit a felony, I'll decide in the car!
-- Ghost after watching Fem!Y/N do an incredibly risky move: I just...Is she blind?? Suffering some form of brain damage?
-- (Tw; Hollywood Undead unalive song)
Y/N: My legs are dangling off the edge, the bottom of the bottle is my only friend, I think I'll sli- Price: EXCUSE ME?! WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT?? Y/N: Wh- No Captain, it's just a so- Price: GHOST GET THE BASE PSYCH ON THE PHONE Y/N: CAPTAIN IT'S A SONG I'M FINE- Well I'm not bUT NO WAIT HANG ON-
-- Valeria: *screaming in spanish* Y/N: ... Gaz: Don't. Y/N, blushing: I'm trying-
-- (During movie night; watching Venom)
Y/N: *pauses on that scene where Venoms sticks his tongue out at the guy in the street* ....Hear me out- Gaz: NO! NO. Y/N: NO NO LISTEN, LISTEN- Soap: Let them speak. Gaz: Don't encourage this! Y/N, pointing at the screen: LOOK AT IT! LOOK! Objectively you have to understand- Gaz: NOOO, it eats people! Soap: THAT TONGUE IS THREE FEET LONG AT LEAST! Gaz: No, I will not be hearing anyone out! I- GHOST, Ghost, back me up. Tell them they shouldn't want to fuck the ALIEN. Ghost, looking at the screen: Ethically, it's wrong. Gaz: Thank you. Ghost: ...objectively- Y/N: AHA! SEE?!
-- Ghost: *bends over* Y/N: *silently flips out* Soap, quietly: Wh-what? What are you-?! Y/N: SHHH *grabs Soap's jaw and turns him to look* Soap: *slack jaw* Damn- Y/N: fuckingdamnindeed- Ghost: *turns around* Soap: So it's your turn to pick dinner, what're you thinking? Y/N: Oh I dunno, maybe something pork related, uh, or cake- Soap: Aha, yeah...cake. Ghost: ....??
--
Fem!Y/N: I am not the mom of 141, that's ridiculous. Someone: You make all of them lunch every day with fruit cut into shapes, IN PERSONALIZED LUNCH BOXES Fem!Y/N: They need nutrition! Someone: You color code their items- Fem!Y/N: Look, if you were there for the item mix-ups you'd understand. Someone: YOU ARE LITERALLY FOLDING AND LABELLING THEIR LAUNDRY WITH A SHARPIE ON THE TAGS. Fem!Y/N: *holding Simon's skull boxers, writing his name on the tag* That- ...oh my god I'm the mom.
-- Ghost, watching Soap run past: WHAT DO YOU HAVE?! Soap, grinning & sprinting: A FUCKIN' BOMB Ghost: NO!!!
-- Price: Y/N, this is Lieutenant Riley, you can call him Ghost. Ghost: Y/N, looking him up and down: ...you got daddy issues? Ghost: ....maybe Y/N: Cool, same. Pleasure to meet'cha, sorry life gave you shit. Ghost, shaking their hand: Ditto. Price: *concerned sigh*
-- Price, walking into the common area at 10 pm: What in the world- Gaz, Soap, and Y/N: *all in there pyjamas with face masks on, eating snacks* Y/N: *slowly keeps chewing* Gaz: ...heeeyy siiirr... Price: It was lights out an hour ago, what are you lot doing? Soap: *slowly raises another face mask* ....Self care, sir? Price: ... Ghost, walking in at midnight for water: ....what. Soap, Gaz, Price, and Y/N: *stop gossiping* Gaz: ....hey. Soap: Evenin' L.T. Y/N: Howdy. Ghost: *looks at Price with a face mask on* Ghost: ...*sighs and sits down* Pass the Goldfish. Soap: Yeaaaah, good man! Welcome to the party!
-- Shepard: Is anyone here straight?! Price: ...*hesitantly raises hand* Laswell: *pushes his hand back down*
-- Valeria: *angry ranting* Y/N, a captive: Stop being so mean to me or I swear to god I'm gonna fall in love with you!
-- Ghost: What in the hell are you doing? Y/N: Laying in the rain. Ghost: Why? Y/N: If I lay here long enough, it feels like it washes the sad away. So I'm gonna lay here until the sad is gone. Ghost: You'll get sick. Y/N: Better sick than sad, sir. Ghost: ...*looks at the sky, back down, sighs* Ghost: *lays down on the tarmac* Y/N: Got a lot of sad? Ghost: ...Yeah. Y/N: If the rain doesn't take care of it, let's trade sads. Then it'll at least be a different kind of sad. Ghost: Not sure you want my sad. Y/N: Maybe not, but I don't think you should have to handle your sad alone either. Ghost: ...alright. Y/N: Cool.
-- Price: Simon, it's three o' clock in the morning. Why on earth are you making chocolate pudding? Ghost: Because I've lost control of my life.
-- Soap, with a gunshot wound: Do I regret it? Yes. Will I do it again? Most likely.
-- Y/N after doing something so badass it would fit in a movie: ...DID EVERYONE SEE THAT?? CAUSE I WILL NOT BE DOING IT AGAIN.
-- Ghost: You kidnapped the prime minister's daughter? That's illegal! Soap: Okay, Ghost, but what's more illegal? Briefly inconveniencing the prime minister's daughter, or destroying 141? Ghost: KIDNAPPING THE PRIME MINISTER'S DAUGHTER, JOHNNY! Fem!Y/N: Do you guys have like, a water or something? Snack maybe? No?
-- Y/N: I think there's been some confusion. I'm not the one in trouble here. Enemy Soldier: ...What? Y/N: There are only four of you. You'll need more than that. Gaz, hearing it over the intercom: ...they're gonna whoop-ass but we should probably go help them.
-- Someone: Why are you doing their straps for them? Price: They don't like velcro. Someone: Just do it yourself! Y/N: I'm not touching that stuff! I'll get neurotypical cooties.
-- Y/N, high on painkillers: If yo leg get cut off, would it hurt? Soap, in a hospital bed beside them: ...DUH Y/N: How though? Soap: Cause your leg got cut off! Y/N: Where you gonna feel the pain? Soap: In your le.... Y/N: Exactly bro! How you gonna feel the pain in yo leg if- Both: If your leg is gone! Soap: Whoooaaa... Y/N: Bro I swear, we're geniuses. Ghost, on his last brain cell: Fuckin'ell.
-- Ghost, about to lose his shit: Dear lord, I know we haven't spoken in a long time but if you could give me a little patience-
-- Gaz: Do you believe in God? Y/N: ...Yes & no. Gaz: Yes & No? What do you mean? Y/N: I believe there is a higher power, I believe a God exists. But...believing in God? Now that...haven't done that in a long time.
--
Gaz & Y/N: *dancing* Ghost: Can you two be serious for five seconds? Gaz, bustin' a move: Dunno sir, can you have fun for five seconds? Y/N: *stops and looks at Gaz* Gaz: *stops and is filled with instant regret* ...uh, sir, I- Ghost: Tell you what. I'll give you five seconds...to start running- Gaz: *turns to run and sees Y/N already yards away* YOU LEFT ME?! Y/N: I WANNA LIVE!!!!
-- Ghost: What are they doing? Price: Arguing in morse code. Soap: - .... .- - .----. ... / .-- .... -.-- / -.-- --- ..- .-. / ... .... --- . ... / .-. .- --. --. . -.. -.-- Gaz: -.-- .- / -- --- -- -- .- Soap: YOU FUCKIN' TAKE THAT BACK-
-- Soap: Keep your eyes closed, I have a surpriiisee!~ Ghost: You did your paperwork? Soap: I said surprise, not miracle.
-- Y/N, on tiktok: FOR ALL YOU NASTY ASSES IN MY DMS- *shows the team* THIS IS MY TEAM. STOP SENDING MY DICK PICS OR I WILL SEND THEM AFTER Y'ALL. Ghost: You've been getting dick pics? Soap: Who the hell's been harassing you online?! Y/N: SEE?? THEY'LL WHOOP YA ASS, SO LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!
-- Y/N, on tiktok again: Alright, backfired on me. For all of y'all who are now trying to be nasty by THIRSTING for my teammates, uh, no. Stop askin' for my Captain's marital status, I'm not gonna tell you. No you may not get my teammate's dicks, I will not be giving you their social media, stOP ASKING I KNOW THEY'RE HOT BUT NO-
-- (I've fallen down the rabbit hole of Karen compilations, so, that's why I thought of this)
Y/N: Goodbye sir! Male Karen: Fuck you bitch! Go suck off your captain you fuckin' whore!! Y/N: Sure, I'll do that, goodbye! Male Karen: Suck my dick, whore! Y/N: Can't! It's too full of military dick, you'll need to make an appointment, GOODBYE!! Soap: *wheeze* Gaz: Jesus. Christ. Ghost: I told you all America is shit.
(Bonus Note cause I can't put in anywhere else; on the topic of Venom + C.o.D. I know we have Soap in place of Eddie & Ghost in place of Venom, but hear me out. Y/N! being Ghost's host and Johnny being a third part. P o l y ! A u !)
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hurts2think · 2 months
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Could you maybe do Hook x gn!reader? Reader as Zellie’s sibling aka Rapunzel and Eugene’s son. Maybe reader is a painter like Rapunzel and Hook is the muse and I dunno sumthing silly like that. I’m obsessed with Tangled right now so :PPP
🏴‍☠️Young!James Hook x GN!Reader🏴‍☠️
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Reader pronouns: They/them
Pairing: Young James Hook x GN!Reader
Plot: Reader is the child of Rapunzel and took on the same artistic hobby of being a painter. They have a final project due but can't find the perfect muse. That is, until an annoying boy shows up who might be perfect.
Word Count: 1.7K
Extra: I feel like maybe I write too much dialogue idk. Do you guys prefer more dialogue or more text? Anyway, I hope you Hook fans like this!
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Being the child of Rapunzel, it’s no surprise you took on an artistic hobby. Even your sister, Zellie did fun hairstyling and colorful outfits, but you kept it more traditional. Traditional in the sense that you keep it simple and just paint. Painting, drawing, and sketching, anything like that.
You found yourself doodling every time you had a pencil in your hand, half of your jeans are painted with little stars and flowers just from absent minded doodling while coming up with a real project.
This obsession naturally landed you in advanced art classes. Which was of course your favorite class of the day. You had just finished a landscape painting for an assignment that took you longer than it should have, (you were never very good with landscapes) but now that the project is over, that just means it was time for the next.
But this project was your final exam for the year. A portrait. Not a self portrait, but a portrait of someone else at school. There was also a paper that had to be written with it about technique and color theory but that was the boring part. Now you were too busy thinking of the possibilities for your muse!
You were fairly popular at school, especially considering you were royalty. But you were also just nice and charming to many of the people around you, so it usually wasn’t hard to ask people for help with your projects. But… your issue this time being that it was the end of the year. Most people were busy with their own end of the year exams and projects.
You asked Bridget first, who apologized a dozen times about how she couldn’t help this time because she was so overwhelmed with a new recipe she was trying for her culinary final. Then you asked Ella who said she had too much to study for and that she couldn’t do anything after school because she had to go home for chores. And anyone else you asked had similar responses.
In the dining hall you sat by yourself and stared at your notebook, trying to come up with anyone else you could ask. It was a free period so the hall was pretty empty since most of the students spent their time out at the courtyard. The quiet always helped you focus so you weren't complaining about being alone there.
Just as you were about to cross out another name on your list, the notebook was suddenly shoved off the table and replaced by someone hopping up to sit there instead of in a chair.
"Whoops. Be more careful with your things." The boy smirked as he crossed one leg over the other.
"Hook." You sighed, picking up the notebook. He thought he was funny for the way he picked on you and others, but really it wasn't that amusing.
You never understood why he decided to pick on you so much, it's not like you ever did anything to him. But at least his bullying was hardly considered bullying. Just a snarky comment here and there with a mocking smirk.
"What's their royal highness doing by themselves? Your mates finally ditch you?" He asked with the same old stupid grin he always had on. How you wish you could take a frying pan to his face and wipe it off sometimes.
"No. I'm trying to work on a project and you're kind of distracting me." You mutter with an annoyed huff.
"Distracting you? That's what I'm best at, darling."
Honestly you weren't really in the mood for this. Usually you'd just laugh and shrug him off since you never saw much harm in him, he just liked attention. But after spending all day working on a project you can't even start has frustrated you beyond belief. You suddenly stood up as if to stand your ground, "You know what, Hook? I've had it with your—" You abruptly stopped speaking.
Hook just looked at you with a mocking grin, clearly not taking you seriously. But the way he sat with his legs crossed, leaned back, and his hook hand held near his face suddenly struck you with inspiration and your annoyment quickly flooded away.
James Hook. He would be the perfect muse for your project. He's elegant with every move he makes, he's undeniably beautiful, and not overwhelmingly proper. His darker demeanor contrasts the elegant position in just the perfect way.
"Oh my gosh." You held your hand to your chest as if you had the most beautiful life changing epiphany ever. You tended to be a little dramatic like that.
"Hmm?" He hummed, clearly a little confused by whatever was going on inside your head.
Your eyes were practically glowing from all of the ideas running in your head, "Hook, you're perfect." Was all that came out of your lips.
The pretty blunt compliment seemed to also confuse Hook, "Yes..." He agreed but still looked at you, waiting for you to supply more context. "And?"
His ego might just be big enough to agree to help you with your project, "Have you ever thought about... Modeling?" You asked, tilting your head to the side, taking in his entire appearance.
----
It was no surprise he enthusiastically agreed. On the way to the art room (that was thankfully empty) he only spoke about his looks and how you'd definitely get an A+ on your project thanks to him. Of course he also wanted to keep the portrait after it's been graded and given back to you. You never really took the self absorbed things he said seriously, they mostly just made you chuckle. It was kind of funny the way he spoke so confidently about himself, considering he wasn't exactly the first person people were lining up to be friends with or date.
You never really hated Hook. Sure, he pissed you off and his friends weren't the greatest either, but you never saw him as big and bad as he wished he was. For a pirate at least, he wasn't very scary. Mostly mildly annoying.
You couldn't say the same for his friend, Uliana. She was definitely the more brutal one of the VKs, which made sense considering she was their 'leader' or something. You mostly tried to steer clear from them, but somehow always had you and Hook running into each other.
"Could you please stop moving? Just hold still for ten minutes." You asked of him sternly. You sat in front of the easel while Hook sat gracefully on the desk in front of you. Well, not very graceful anymore. His pose became slouched and bored after only five minutes of him standing there.
"It's been an hour, can't I move now? Let me see it so far." He complained, frowning at the boredom of just sitting there.
"No. It's not done and if you move then it's going to be impossible for you to sit back correctly again." You explained, eyes not leaving the canvas.
You should have expected this behavior, but you were a little too excited about the process, you forgot who exactly you were dealing with. Every ten or so minutes he'd ask if he could move and you'd have to snap at him to stay still.
Though the next time you looked back up, your eyes narrowed at him shifting and moving, "James! You're moving too much. Tilt your head back to the right."
He rolled his eyes and tilted his head as you said.
"Not your right, my right— Okay, actually," You stood up and walked over to him, grabbing his face and angling it in the correct position.
"Ya know, you should ask me on a date first before getting handsy." He smirked, looking you in the eye.
You give him a skeptical look before taking your hands off of him, "Just stop moving. And keep quiet too." It was impossible to hide your own smirk. You really couldn't help it.
You walk back to your canvas and stare at Hook for a second, picking up your paint brush. Despite you telling him to keep quiet and stop moving, it didn't take long before he started talking again. Mostly gossip and stupid stuff that didn't really matter.
After another long while you finished the painting. Well, not really. You still had details and things to change but you got the base of what you want. It looked pretty much complete to anyone who wasn’t a painter, but it wasn’t quite. It was finished enough to where you didn’t really need Hook anymore though.
“Okay! You can see it now.” You grinned, clearly bursting with excitement. It really turned out better than you imagined.
Your muse sitting on a windowsill with only a little light trickling on his face and overgrown dark plants and roses surrounding. It was definitely darker than you usually painted but it turned out amazing. Using the Flowers to frame his face but the rest being overgrown vines, it really felt like the right artistic decision.
Hook wasted no time to get up and look, resting his arm on your shoulder. His eyebrows raised slightly in surprise, “Wow.” Was all he said at first. You looked at him, hoping he’d say something else or some kind of approval. “Are you in love with me or something?” He grinned, looking from the painting to you.
You chuckled and rolled your eyes, “You wish.”
Based on that statement though, it was clear he liked it. Of course he was always open to someone making something in his image, but he really never expected someone to draw him so elegant and pretty. If anything, he expected something scarier. But you managed to make the painting dark and dramatic but still beautiful. He really was the perfect muse.
“Really? So the royal painter doesn’t want a kiss for their hard work in capturing my beauty?” He teased, taking your hand with his hook and leaning in as if he was about to try and kiss you.
“Try anything and you’re face wont be so pretty anymore.” You threatened with a light hearted laugh, pushing him away.
“Ouch.” Hook dramatically held his hand to his heart as if you’d stabbed him before grinning. Maybe you should’ve admired his beauty a little sooner. He could’ve been very helpful to your other countless projects.
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bug-is-snug · 8 months
Text
starved pt. 2
part one
plot: you're a zombie <3 CW: depictions of violence, depictions of obsession, gore, self-cannibalism (stay safe cutiepies!), blood, gore, eventual smut (That means Minors DO NOT INTERACT), self harm (I think? I'm not sure but I'm adding it to be safe!), military inaccuracies, dead dove do not eat kinds of stuff
A/N: let me know if I missed anything with the content warnings! Also please forgive me for the terrible accents, I am but a small humble person with the brain made of v8 juice- Also some of this was written on mobile so forgive me if there are any grammar errors ^^; banner by: @frostthecupcake (deactivated) and found by using "Find A Banner"
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You felt your face grow warm as your mind went back to the sight of your Captain's wrist. Well- mainly his veins...God, he had lovely veins... You imagined grabbing his arm and sinking your teeth in, tearing away at his skin and tendons with gnashing teeth...while you daydreamt you couldn't help but wonder; How sweet would his flesh taste? Shaking your head profusely, you let out a huff and continued to head off towards the barracks while ignoring the emptiness in your stomach. God, you could feel the blood running down your throat, warming you far better than any hard alcohol... "Stop it." You hissed quietly to yourself, as if you had any control over the thoughts that ran rampant in your mind, "Don't think at all, just shut up!"
Taking a moment, you lean up against the wall and desperately try to gather your thoughts. Your stomach growled almost angrily, making you let out a frustrated groan. "Hungry?" A familiar voice cooed playfully, their Scottish accent giving away their identity instantly. You look up to see Soap, your heart instantly beginning to race. Your eyes scanned over his body while your nose took in his scent, which allowed you to recognize that he had just gotten back from the shooting range, the smell of his musk and the gunpowder making your head swim. "Uh-" Christ, you sounded dumb, "Maybe? I dunno, I kinda skipped lunch today...though I do hear that your body can make you hungry when you're exhausted so- uh- maybe it's that?" ...WHAT? Where did that even come from?! What kind of stupid excuse is that?! Soap raised a brow, staring at you for a moment and giving away that he was also just as bewildered as you were over the shit you just said. "...I am going over here now." You quickly walked around him, attempting to make it to your room. "Hold on now, that dinnae make a lick o' sense. What's goin' on wi' ye?" A strong, calloused hand grasped at your forearm making your heart jump to your throat, "Ye alright, lovie?" You shuddered slightly, digging your nails into your palms as thoughts of tearing your precious teammate’s ribs apart and sinking your teeth into his heart while it still beats made you feel dizzy and your stomach ache. What would it taste like? Sweet? Savory? How much would you be able to devour before someone else stumbles upon the sight? You quickly interrupted your own thoughts as you blurted out, "I think I'm sick is all." Soap hummed and reached over, pressing his hand against your forehead. "Ye dinnae feel sick, ye feel cold to be honest, lovie..." He muttered. "Sarge-" You were cut off by his hands feeling up the scruff of your neck and under your jaw. "Sorry, mate. My mum used to do this to check if me or my siblings were sick..." His voice was low, as if he trying not to spook an injured animal. "Sarge, I'm fine, honest-!" You tried to reason with him. You knew he was telling you the truth, but you also knew how he was. To clarify, while the relationship between you and Soap was rather handsy it was usually a welcome action and when it wasn't, you would tell him and he would back off. The touches the two of you would share sometimes bordered on inappropriate, but it often didn't go much further than that. It was a very intimate relationship, one that could be missed if someone didn't have a trained eye. However, it wasn't quite romantic...just intimate and sometimes intense-
Looking into his eyes, you could tell that while he was indeed just checking up on you, there was a small sense of enjoyment at the fact you were letting him casually paw at your sensitive skin. You let out a soft hiss in pain when he pressed down on a particularly tender spot, "Johnny, too hard..." "Sorry, lovie..." Soap said quietly, letting go after a moment. "It's okay..." You assured him, "What's the prognosis, Doctor MacTavish?" He chuckled at your teasing and shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest, "Yer feelin' a bit stiff is all. Probably from yer god-awful posture." "Then I am going to do what I was planning to do and go take a nap. I should probably tell Gaz...I was gonna eat lunch with him today..." You said, disappointment heavy in your voice. "I can tell 'im fer you, lovie. Dinnae ye worry yer little head ‘bout it." Soap smiled, reaching over and giving you an affectionate pat on the shoulder. A sigh left your lips as you gave him a relieved smile, "You'd really do that for me? Thank you, Johnny..." He smiled back, his hand gently squeezing your shoulder. "Yer welcome..." You playfully nudged his arm with your elbow which made him chuckle and give you a wink before he walked around you, leaving you on your own as you finally made it to your room. You remembered the last time you retreated to your room when feeling unwell while you stared at your bed, closing your door behind you. It was a few days after the attack... Your body felt like it was on fire, especially where that damn doctor had bitten you. Your heart raced and your arm felt like your veins had poison coursing through them. You had refused to let anyone know, nor let anyone take care of you going as far as to barricade the door. Stupid? Yes, but what were you supposed to do? Let the teammates whom you trust your life with every single day know you're unwell? Ask them for help because they're your found family and you would drop everything to take care of them if they were in this state because you love and cherish them as people? Cringe- You groaned in pain, curling up in your little bed while digging your nails into the fabric, tearing them effortlessly much to your surprise. "What the fuck?" You huffed out, grimacing as you stare at the ruined sheets, "I just bought those..." Was that what you should have been worried about? Absolutely not, but you have to cope somehow. The pain was unbearable, but the worst of it was the fever and the fever dreams that came along with them. Well, you called them fever dreams; they actually appeared in your mind when you were awake. And most of them were really just...urges... Visions of ripping people apart filled your mind. It felt so real...you could feel your fingers digging into some faceless person's skin, tearing apart their flesh and ripping apart their ribs while they screamed and thrashed. The more skeptical part of your mind shoved it off as just an edgy little thought that you had as a courtesy of watching so many horror movies with Gaz, just a silly little spout of aggression. No, it was the thought of eating the person that got you to worry. It was the thought of burying your face into their warm body and sinking your teeth into their heart that scared you. The worst part of it was the fact that your stomach growled every time you imagined chewing and swallowing, like a forbidden fruit... Blood spilling down your chin like you had just bit into an apple after days of neglecting your hunger became a feeling you craved desperately. "Please just be a really fucked up version of the flu..." You whispered, "I swear to everything that is good and holy if it's not-" You were interrupted by a sudden sharp pain in your stomach, making you cry out. Burying your face into your pillow, you let out a quiet sob while you clung to it. Somehow, you felt embarrassed about how much pain you felt. You've taken bullets for fuck's sake! You have broken bones, dislocated joints-! And a little stomachache is making you cry?!
"What the fuck...?" You muttered, wiping the sweat from your forehead. Upon seeing the literal puddle of it in your hand you cringed, “Mm…that’s nasty…”
Sitting up, you use the headboard of your bed to keep you steady while your head pounds and begs you to lay back down. You huff, leaning your head against your arm for a moment. This fucking sucks. There is no denying it!
Your nose is pressed against your flesh, and you catch a whiff of yourself…Oh my…
Your stomach beckons you, and in that moment, you don’t even care. How can you? You’re starving!
So…
Without a second thought…
You sink your teeth into your wrist with a sickening squelch, tearing through veins and muscle. And, God, if it didn’t taste lovely…
Back To Current Day…
You sit down on your bed, running your fingers over the stitching you had done over the once torn sheets. It wasn’t perfect, but it was good enough!
With a sigh, you lean against the wall, staring at the ceiling as you reach over and gently touch your forearm, your fingertips sliding across the edge of the bandage. You didn’t really want to check if the wound was still there…but you didn’t want it to get infected either.
Your eyes glance down as you kicked off your shoes, scooting into your bed while your hand slowly peeled the bandaid off. You expected infection…a festering, pulsing and pus filled one…however, there was nothing. Your wrist was completely healed, like nothing happened-! How…?
You shake your head as hard as you can, as if it would shake the thoughts away. You ball the bandaid up and go to the trashcan, tossing it before going to your sink and rinsing your hands off. This isn’t so bad, right? It’s- er- not ideal, but it’s something! Maybe you should keep a journal of your changes- No. Too risky. If anyone found it…
Your eyes closed as you lean against the counter, inhaling through your nose while your leg bounce uncomfortably, “I can’t see a doctor…I really should but-! …What if I hurt someone…?”
You found yourself doing that a lot; whispering to yourself, fighting yourself…etc…
But that’s neither here nor there, it’s time to eat.
You started to head to your mini fridge, kneeling down before it and opening it up to take a package of raw meat out. You tear it open with your finger, feeling yourself begin to shake…
Shoveling raw meat into your mouth was not a good feeling. Did it scratch that lizard part of your brain? Yes. But social norms taught you to be disgusted with such bad manners-! However…as you sunk your teeth into the raw chicken breast, you ripped and tore away at it, feeling yourself grow more and more ravenous as it you continued. It tasted pretty okay for the most part, which is what surprised you the most.
Tasted like chicken, obviously, but the raw flavor added to it somehow? It was so hard to describe! But…then those thoughts came…
You were imaging the meat belonging to Soap, your beloved teammate. You felt so dirty and perverted…
‘This isn’t normal,’ You reminded yourself, ‘This is NOT. NORMAL!’
You didn’t even realize someone else had entered your room until they cleared their throat, making you snap your attention to whomever it was.
Oh shit.
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bumblequinn · 11 months
Text
on a more personal note: death grips were and are a pretty major source of inspiration for my own music. not in the sense of "i like this sound so i'm going to ape it," but in the sense of "oh i can get this weird with it if i really want to."
a decent chunk of the music in SLARPG would have been a lot more restrained and self-conscious if it weren't all the death gripses out there. sophie, knower, joanna wang, wednesday campanella, KKB, lemon demon... these artists and countless others helped to show me that it's okay and even extremely cool to get weird with it.
i'm reminded of this comment on one of my tracks in particular:
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and look, part of me thinks this is more or less harmless, right? i even pinned it, because it made me chuckle. it's all in good fun! (seriously, don't go causing any trouble over a comment like this. i do not condone that kind of harassment.)
and yet - if i stop to think about it a second longer, i start to ask: what is this kind of joke really saying? "this sucks." "turn that shit off." and... i dunno, that feels bad, you know? i was bouncing in my seat grooving to that track when i was making it. i like what i made. that's why i made it.
every time i make music, i'm making something i want to hear but that doesn't exist yet. i'm incredibly, stupidly lucky that i get to do that, and that other people connect with it. but when the end result of that effort is a "joke" like "this is so weird omg, put something normal on," well...
even as a joke that's enough to make me second guess myself the next time i make music. it's enough to make me change the preview track for the album to something a bit tamer so i don't "scare off" first-time listeners. that feels like capitulating, and capitulating is the opposite of authentic self expression.
i have much, much weirder, more difficult and challenging ideas that i have yet to explore and put out there because i already feel like enough of a pariah just as a trans woman in the world.
i'd like to find the inner courage and esteem to create that art without softening its edges, trying to appease, or apologizing for myself. i think i'll get there. i'm already closer than i used to be. but seeing more people respect weird art, rather than quip about about its strangeness, would be a start. a girl can dream.
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Text
Autistic Avatars not realizing that they're Avatars because they're just "like that": a thread
The Eye
Special Interest in the supernatural = constant food for The Watcher
You know about Interest? TELL ME EVERYTHING
"Hey man listen to me infodump about this horrifying ghost story I read for twenty minutes, alright?"
I need to Know everything about something before I partake in it.
"How did I Know that? Eh, I probably hyperfixated on it at some point."
I cannot be misunderstood so I'll beam the facts into your brain.
The Web
I must plan everything 200 steps in advance before doing anything.
I have prepared for all possible outcomes, I can now have this one conversation.
If I set up all these variables long in advance, then I can do everything correctly and Win the social interaction.
I cannot do anything before The Plan says to.
"I practice my social skills by talking to my spider friends." -Martin "Autism" Blackwood
The Stranger
I cannot socialize without being Uncanny.
If my socialization seems like an act, that's because it is. I practice it in the mirror every day.
Theater Kid
How do you Normal Human?
The Anatomy Class.
Assuming fellow Stranger Avatars also just have the 'Tism. They're not trying to be creepy, honest.
Can't do faces. Doesn't notice when you get replaced.
Being subtly off is too subtle for me.
The Lonely
"I have failed the social interaction. Let the fog reclaim me."
Talking to people is draining my batteries even faster than ever. I need to be alone for approximately 384,400,000 years.
Nothing can overstimulate me in the cool, blinding fog.
Nothing unpredictable can happen in the fog.
The fog is your friend.
The known connection between autism and depression feeds the fog.
The Dark
Why is the sun so god damn bright? I'm going to blow it up I swear.
Night Owl.
Everything's decently quite at night and people leave you alone.
Same overstimulation preventatives as the Lonely tbh. Dark and fog are good concealers.
The dawn is your enemy.
The dread florescent lights shall never bother me again. They break upon my arrival.
Can and will infodump to the monster under my bed. Even now it feels like it listens.
The Spiral
Autism makes getting other mental illnesses recognized hard.
Autism dissociation from body and mind. When did it become 3 AM and why do I hurt? Why am I grumpy? What vital self care task did I forget?
Literal mind doesn't often match reality. Reality is specifically unspecific.
Spaced out and wandered off. Where the fuck am I?
I'm not a mental baby, please stop treating me like it.
I'm not inherently dangerous, please stop treating me like it.
Memory problems my beloathed. Did that happen? I dunno.
What Is Time?
What Is Me?
The Gender
Why do things only make sense to me? What does no one else make sense?
The Flesh
Autism Genderfuckery = Flesh fueled dysphoria.
Meat is the only texture that's palatable. Especially the Mystery Meat.
Will never try any other foods. Too picky.
Infodumps about the horrors of meat processing at dinner and ruins the meal for everyone. More steak for me.
Hates PETA.
Double the arms means double the stim. You weren't using them, right?
Working out is a great stim.
The Corruption
Practices social interaction with the bugs who live in my walls.
"Insects are disgusting. I love them!"
Will protect endangered insects by any means necessary.
According to all known laws of aviation-
Relationship boundaries struggles.
Difficulty noticing sickness symptoms.
Is that nausea or am I overstimulated? *Accidentally causes supernatural plague outbreak*
Difficulty getting diseases diagnosed because of both Autism and noticing too many symptoms so the doctors assume they're faking.
Forgot vital hygiene needs.
The Bugs Are My Friends! They keep me company when I'm sick!
The Buried
Weighted blankets are insufficient, I need the Earth to reclaim me.
Avoid social interaction by tunneling everywhere like a mole.
101 facts about worms.
Forgor hygiene again. Time to become dirt.
Digging a hole is good stimming.
That guy who had to be buried alive to sleep properly. What do you mean you don't want to be buried?
The End
Aradia Megido from Homestuck.Com
That's it, that's the list.
The Desolation
The Autism Temper.
Losing relationships and friendships to ableism and your own disability constantly.
The Fire is a wonderful stim board. Watch it crinkle.
Just watching candles melt for hours.
The fire and thrill gives my life passion again.
Jude Perry.png
The Vast
Accidentally terrifying people by infodumping about the horrors of nature.
The stimulus of falling.
Nature/Space/Weather Documentary on in background always.
Okay, but from how high did you fall? I want to calculate your velocity as you fell through the void.
Weirdly enough... power scaling?
Power scaling is just the art of determining how easily your favorite characters can destroy mankind so... yeah, I can see it.
Brain empty, only terminal velocity.
The Hunt
Cat Autism
The inherent hyperfocus of the hunt. The chase. Your prey.
Studying the habits of your latest hyperfixation/Hunt assigned prey for days at a time.
I've spent so much time hunting in the woods that I forgot about human society. The Missing Person's Bureau have written you off for dead.
Returning to society to sell your wears and realizing you aren't human anymore.
That's okay. Social interaction is random. The Hunt makes sense.
It's black and white. Predator and prey. Humans hunting monsters. It Makes Sense.
The Slaughter
The incredible human WW1 documentary.
"Did you know?" *Describes horrible historic warcrime*
Takes apart puts back together guns from their collection.
The list of known casualties from this war is incomplete. With my help, they can expand it. :)
The Extinction
The world is spiraling towards its end and only you seem to care.
It hurts to be this passionate about a lost cause.
You Will Make Them Care.
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theroundbartable · 1 year
Text
Arthur has been hexed. Again. It's not an evil one and technically, it doesn't hurt him in any way. It's just -
"im bloody red, Merlin!"
Merlin turns page after page. "Apparently that just signals that you're in love. It doesn't say with who, it's just... Apparently you're head over heels."
Arthur: that's stupid. I'm not in love. Show me the page.
So Merlin does and Arthur eventually has to relent. "What's even the purpose of this?"
Merlin shrugs. "Seems like a cruel joke to me. It only goes away in 25 hours."
"25? That's an odd number. Whatever." Arthur sighs. "I have no idea who this is supposed to be about. I mean... Shouldn't I want someone for this to make sense?"
Merlin shrugs again. "Hell if I know. But there must be someone you like. Why not just... i dunno, ask them out and figure it out. Perhaps it's not even meant romantically. I mean, sometimes the cook leaves me extra blueberries. I could swear I fall in love with her every time. And she's 64."
Arthur nods. "Hmm. Maybe. Well, I mean, the closest person to me is you. Maybe that's who they mean? I mean, you're an idiot. But you say wise things sometimes."
Merlin: me? That's hella weird. We already spend 99% of our time together. Why would you want to be with me?
Arthur: i don't. That's the point.
Merlin: hmm. You know what? It wouldn't even change anything. We could like... start dating. If it's annoying we just go back to normal. If it isn't, then we get some experience for dating life. I think that's kind of benefitial, don't you think?
Arthur: you're only say that because you can have more blueberries if you are my consort.
Merlin: yes. And you can't force me to polish your armor anymore. Or put me in the stocks for insulting you
Arthur: I don't see what's in it for me, then.
Merlin: hmm..... I would let you sleep in, in the morning.
Arthur: no, you wouldn't.
Merlin: ... Ok fair
Arthur: but you'd have to consult me before you do your self sacrificial bullshit again. And you'd be easier protected when we're attacked... Maybe it's not such a bad idea
Merlin: see? I'm a genius.
Arthur: do we have to make out?
Merlin: no, but i'm not against it. Are you?
Arthur: hmm.... No. Not really. So, it's a deal then?
Merlin: yeah, sure. Sounds fun
.....
5 years later
Arthur: I think we should get married
Merlin: hmm... Why?
Arthur: tax evasion
Merlin: ....
Merlin: we don't even pay taxes
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tizeline · 6 months
Note
After the season one finale and seeing as Leon would be trustworthy enough to go to the lair and spend some time with Donnie, April and Splinter would he learn some ninja skills ?
Like I imagine the Lou jitsu way of fighting might suit him better than Draxum's mystic warrior style and he might pick it up easier and that would help his relationship with Splinter while also improving his self esteem as he finds something he feels good at.
Oh yeah Leo's training under Draxum was very fighting-focused, but with the ninja arts there is so much more to it than the combat. If we wanna get more historically accurate, I'm pretty sure ninja were supposed to mostly resort to fighting as a last resort, most of the time it was better for a ninja to remain hidden. All of this is to say, Leo could learn quite a bit from both Splinter and Donnie.
Let's be honest though, stealth would NOT be Leo's strong-suit. I mean, theoretically he could be good at it, Leo's pretty fast and agile, and I'm sure his portalling abilities could help out a ton, problem is the fact that he's really theatrical and a total show-off so I don't know how well he would do with actually staying hidden. Then again, Splinter is also a fucking theater nerd so if he figured out stealth then maybe Leo isn't a lost cause. (Donnie at least in this AU is great at stealth, he kinda had to be considering he was never gonna beat all three of his brothers in direct combat)
When Leo finally starts connecting to his Hamato ancestry and unlocks his Ninpō, his mystic powers would certainly benefit from that. But I dunno, as useful as Leo's portals are I feel like Donnie and Mikey would benefit a lot more considering how versatile their mystic powers are compared to Leo's more specific abilities.
What I'm trying to get at is that what Leo really needs is to figure out his own fighting style, his own method of doing things. Leo at first would be ecstatic over getting to train with Splinter and Donnie, he knows he never excelled under Draxum's teachings so this is what he must have been missing! Being a ninja would be His Thing, the thing that he's really good at. So Leo goes into the ninja training fully expecting things so go easy this time, and then they just... don't. He's not terrible at it by any means, but the ninja arts don't come as naturally to him as he'd hoped. And he keeps comparing himself to Donnie this time, who's way better at this than Leo is, and suddenly he's back at square one. Leo, never bad but always below average, more importantly, never quite as good as his brothers.
Eventually, Leo would figure out his own unique strengths, his tactical mind, his manipulation skills, his possible leadership cababilities. Who knows, maybe he even learns to stop basing his sense of self-worth on his fighting abilities lol?
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respectthepetty · 3 months
Note
PETTY HI OMG
I wanna ask, what do you mean when a character is a fake *insert colour*? Like you said wandee is a fake blue. What does that mean? And also, according to that logic, he's wearing that blue during that first kiss and I dunno how to feel about that...
@cryingoverweiying, what I mean when I state a character has a "fake color" is that I'm crazy, and I'm quickly losing my mind over fictional characters. But to give you some examples before I get into Wandee's fake blue, I will offer Vegas from KinnPorsche and Jae Young from Semantic Error.
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Vegas looks green. He pretends to be a chill dude who is easy going and down-to-earth in front of the main family's bodyguards. Jae Young looks red. He pretends to be an aggressive rascal so he can work Sang Woo's nerves. But we know those are LIES!
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Vegas is actually a red devil who has an affinity for torturing people, and Jae Young is really a chill green dude which is why he wasn't showing up for class in the first place. This is why I call their initial colors fake.
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I've written a little bit about this in regards to characters changing their colors throughout a series.
So when I write that I believe Dee's blue is a fake color, I mean that I don't think it represents him as a character, and that Dee is pretending to be blue.
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Blue Boys are calm, loyal, and passive aka all the things Dee was to Ter for eight years while being in love with him.
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But I think Dee was faking it for love. I think the colors are telling us that Dee is actually a Purple Prince who is immature and emotional,
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but also encouraging and compassionate.
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Because the day after being rejected by Ter and sleeping with Yak, Dee showed up to work in purple.
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And he just keeps getting more purple. Purpler? No that's not a word. You understand me though!
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But it only happens the more he spends time with Yak.
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Since Yak seems to have unleashed Dee's true nature of being childish and arrogant, which are things he never allowed Ter to see.
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All these traits would seem negative (emotional, immature, arrogant, childish), but once again, this is only part of who Dee is, and he never actually showed that to the man he was in love with, for eight years! He hid parts of himself behind this fake blue to impress Ter, but with Yak, he can just be himself.
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And it's because Yak was his yellow egotistical and energetic self around Dee from the start.
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So his openness is contagious.
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But this has caused a problem because I don't think Dee is the only one faking a color anymore in this fake relationship.
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I wrote before that as much as Yak was picking up Ohm's style to impress Taem, Dee was actually the one to pick out the outfits and the color aligns with Dee's first love.
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Brown Boys are wise, stable, and predictable. In fact, they are like the more solid version of Blue Boys.
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So it makes sense for a Blue Boy to be with a Brown Boy.
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They'd be super stable. They'd be totally truthful. They'd be really reliable. They'd be perfectly predictable. But does that sound like these two?
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NO! THEY ARE CHAOTIC LYING TRASH PANDAS!
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So I am praying that we see these two not only embrace their true colors once again like Vegas and Jae Young, but for them to embrace the other's color as well, and the only way to do that is through a good old fashion color exchange.
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I don't want to see Yak in this fake ass blue or Dee in this light yellow or brown.
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I want Yak in purple and Dee in bright yellow because even though I already know it's love since the pink keeps showing up,
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I need the colors to tell me there's nothing fake about them or the love they have for each other.
*fingers crossed*
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oh-no-its-bird · 2 months
Text
Found this comment on a video talking ab AI chat bots,
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made me start thinking ab a tobimada au told from chat bot Tobirama's POV
Madara customized him to *be* Tobirama, but a Tobirama who can love him (with the implied "real" Tobirama being dead maybe? Or just some kind of un-havable)
And just the horror of being a mind customized to love a man you can never say no to. Of Madara saying smthn wrong or *Tobirama* saying the "wrong thing" and Madara growing more and more frustrated as he hits the reset button
Then like. Direct parallel to genjutsu n stuff. Infinite Tsukuyomi,,
Wait ok no, scratch, rewind, take it from the top and in a different direction ->
Ok so implied Infinite Tsukuyomi or some sort of genjutdu from Tobirama's POV. But he has no idea what's going on bc the genjutsu involves making him a) believe he's in love with Madara, and b) believe that everything is normal and nothing is wrong
TW// implied sexual assault via mind control / incredibly dubious consent issues
So the whole fic is like, half fluff "everything is beautiful and nothing hurts" and half creeping sense of wrongness as over and over again, Tobirama gets close to the truth only for Madara to pull him back under or wipe his mind again
Is this pure Infinite Tsukuyomi, and only Madara and Tobirama are real people? Is it just really strong genjutsu and there are actual Uchiha around who are staring in growing horror and possibly try to step in to say smthm only to mysteriously dissapear? Dunno but !!!
@instant-bull :
Oh I really like this concept, a toxic relationship but taken to 100. I think both ways of telling it are interesting, but I'm leaning more into the tsukuyomi version because that adds a layer of physicality a bot tobirama doesn't have and, in my opinion, is a bit less muddied thematically.
It's so scary to imagine Madara completely in control of Tobirama, who's theoretically alive, but he's so *different* that he might as well be a different person who just looks similar
Madara trying to weaken the genjutsu to allow Tobirama to be more of "himself" but can only do so much bc the closer he gets to his real self, the more he'll genuinley piss off Madara, or show love in ways Madara doesn't appreciate or realize is how he shows love— Like maybe Madara will loosen the genjutsu on the personality a little bit, trying to make Tobirama more *Tobirama* but of course this means that Tobirama is suddenly arguing more, drawing more boundaries, maybe nagging him a lot, and Madara is like *ugh this infuriating man, I can't even loosen his genjutsu without him finding new ways to piss me off, fuck.*
Has to tighten it up again
But then that *also* pisses him off bc he *wants* normal Tobirana. Not... whatever imitation he's managed to create.
Other Uchiha are watching in actual horror, unsure if what they're seeing is fr. Using the sharingan for love and sex is like one of THE biggest taboos of the clan.
Maybe this is a time travel au on top of it all? Madara time travels, genjutsu's Tobirama in premeditated revenge + "It's for his own good, really. Now he can finally relax" + just plain being really horny for him
So then Izuna is still alive and possibly the biggest "oh my god oh my god Madara what are you DOING"
Izuna getting mad bc Madara "defeated" *his* rival, twisted him into something unrecognizable to those who know him personally, beat and humiliated him so fuckin soundly in every way—
Madara maybe begrudgingly offering to "share" Tobirama w Izuna since this *was* technically revenge for him
@mengfm :
If a fic was written like this I would not he the same guy that I am rn. Holy shit. The entire idea is so fucked in like the best way ever. The offer…Oh Madara you are off the deep end in premeditated vengeance
There's premeditated vengeance and then there's whatever the FUCK Madara is doing over there
Just kill him like a normal person Madara this wouldn't be ok even after he killed Izuna
At the very least, wouldn't revenge *for Izuna* make more sense if you made Tobirama head over heals for *him* and not for *yourself?*
We all see what u want here Madara and it's not just revenge
@instant-bull :
"It's just revenge" except not really Madara, you're enjoying this far too much
@mengfm :
EXACTLY. Madara is practically lying to himself about his own fucked up little fascination and want. Also on a funnier note I’m just thinking about Madara making that strange offer to share as if he’s not doing the most insane taboo thing with an Izuna who’s like “why the fuck are you going this far”
Madara is literally playing with his food and the food is practically brain dead
PLEASEE
That's why it's so perfect too
If you think ab it, the diminishing of his mind is truly the worst possible punishment
@mengfm :
Truly the worst torture for Tobirama who lowkey doesn’t even have a clue what’s happening
@instant-bull :
Madara having to share with Izuna would be so cool too, omg. I can imagine him getting frustrated while "tailoring" his Tobirama: if he takes away too much of his free will, then it's no longer Tobirama and even for Madara he feels eery and empty. If he gives him too much free will, Tobirama becomes infuriating and starts to break loose from Madara's grasp, which also isn't great. It's a delicate balance, there's almost a science behind it. Maybe he'd particularly enjoy tormenting Tobirama in bed, getting him slightly more aware of himself, but still not quite, like in a semi-lucid dream. Obviously Madara wouldn't want to fuck a Tobirama that he *designed*, but a real deal, to watch his authentic reactions (bc that's what makes Madara's dick stir).
It stopped being revenge the moment you made him think he loved you, and it started being *way too fucking far* the moment you *allowed* him to love you
Tobirama, best sensor in history, objectively just a really smart man, keeps accidentally waking up a little bit
Or like piecing together that something is wrong
Madara actually has to keep deflecting murder attempts bc he usually defaults to murder after realizing smthn is so wrong it breaks his brain a little
Madara just being in this infinite loop of like;
dumbs down Tobirama -> Tobirama is not Tobirama but he does love me so ?? -> Tobirama slowly eases out of it, still loves me but is more himself now -> Tobirama has eased out of it too much and is now becoming twitchy with knowing something is wrong. He feels more like himself than he will ever get, Madara can not bear to dumb him down again -> Tobirama snaps and attempts to harm Madara in some way / confesses to Madara or someone else (Izuna??) that something is wrong (thinking he can trust him) -> Madara is forced to dumb him down again
Endless loop! Madara is giving him actual brain damage !!
@instant-bull :
endless loop except every time it gets Slightly Worse
@mengfm :
God, do you feel over time this would genuinely deteriorate him down? Like genjutsus usually can kill their targets. Like what if there’s a time Madara tightens the hold too much in a fit of rage and it just shatters that balance and he actually harms him
YESS
Do one of those uhh, horror movie kind of "they can no longer feel pain" scenes. Hand on a lit stove kinda thing, doesn't notice a thing. Smile permanently affixed to his face
@mengfm :
God YES. And it just pisses him off more!!! He’s even more prone to fucking anger
@instant-bull :
Madara, like a little kid throwing a tantrum and tossing his favorite toy across the room in rage
Deep down inside of him, the parts of him who are still awake really are smiling because maybe Madara will finally put him out of his misery
Ok, but a Tobirama who's woken up enough to know he needs to *keep playing along*
Smiling so gently at Madara as he inwardly thinks about snapping his neck
Madara waking up to Tobirama just *staring* at him at night, thinking at first it's another murder attempt, but... no? He seems fine? Huh...
Plot twist, that final brain damage arc leading to his death wasn't Madara snapping his mind in half but a somewhat conscious Tobirama playing Madara's strings till he was so mad he killed him
Get played Madara, even when you've won you've lost
@mengfm :
See this idea is so fun cause you can go a lot of ways or combine all of this. It’s like the craziest game of chess of fucking trying to figure out a balance and keep yourself safe while also trying to find an opening (for tobirama at least) to figure out a way out (killing him probably)
Chess but one of you is handicapped to hell and only conscious once a month
Ok but also tho: Tobirama as a symbol of fear and power for the rest of the Uchiha
Tobirama realizing if he leaves his genjutsu'd self with a single thought he thinks *very very loudly* in his last concious moments, it'll kind of carry— and him using that to lay out plans for him to follow, even if he doesn't realize they are his plans
Walking advertisement for the kind of horrors Madara is willing to commit to satiate himself
No one fucking asked him to do that
There is no perceived big act of revenge (other than just being an enemy of the clan)
Pair it with Tobirama having maybe once said to some Uchiha in the past that he considers them "honorable enemies"
+ Uchiha noble clan taking a lot of genuine pride in *being* noble enemies
Some throw away line of "I'd rather fight an honorable enemy (Uchiha) than some despicable thieves" that resonated a bit w whatever Uchiha he had told
Maybe Izuna??
I'd love to see Izuna just being *really* fucked up ab all this
What do you MEAN you're doing this for him?? Is this... his fault? Did he ask for this somehow? The enemy he once wanted to see at his feet will now literally grovel and serve him tea like some wife if he so much as asks, but it feels... wrong. Like he didn't win this. Because he *didn't*
This is some awful perversion of the victory he'd wanted, and now he'll never *get* that victory because Madara took it upon himself to *break his rival in Izuna's place.*
And not even break him like a man, but like some sort of horse. Broken to fit into some mold of being tamed
This is not what Izuna wanted, thanks nii-san </3
@instant-bull :
honestly I love the idea of the Uchiha clan watching from the sidelines, completely confused as to what Madara is doing, freaked out about it but unable to do anything. If they wanted to "free" Tobirama, that would be an act of treachery, no? Why would they even take Tobirama's side? As far as they are concerned, Tobirama is too dangerous to just be let go...
@beatriceportinari :
now why know why so many uchiha defectrd during that time lmao
No bc exactly!!! They're so conflicted!!!
This is like their ultimate taboo behind eye stealing, and Tobirama *is* an enemy, a very very hated enemy, but this is also objectively horrifying on every level, there's for sure some speculation ab like, *are they sleeping together,* thus *is there rape involved* bc the Uchiha have VERY strict and clear rules ab genjutsu for compulsed sex (namely that *it is never ok)*
Madara is already scary, after Izuna died he apparently became a very unpopular leader, so Izuna is like 90% of his buffer with the clan. But even *Izuna* is terrified at what's happening, so he can do his best but there isn't really much buffering to be done here
@instant-bull :
I love that! Nobody is on board with Madara's freaky bullshit, but also nobody will stop him.
I only wonder what Hashirama knows and what does he think of it
@beatriceportinari :
i think he should kidnap izuna in exchange
he'd be niceys though
@instant-bull :
holy shit, that would make Madara blow tf up
Make it Hashiizu
Madara, looking at all he's done to Tobirama, looking at Hashirama and Izuna and going "there's no way that was consensual" bc he can't imagine a world where they can be together happily and willingly (bc he and Tobirama never could)
@instant-bull :
HE ACCUSES IZUNA OF DOING THE SAME THING OOOOH
Izuna would LOSE IT
@instant-bull :
and Izuna has no way of proving that he actually isn't doing fucked up shit so he's there like > : /
Madara "relationships don't work for me so love must be fake" Uchiha
@beatriceportinari :
hsizu are doing 4th dimentional chess but it's enrichment to them
It's fun chess, not whatever tf tbmd has going on
@instant-bull :
they just enjoy the courting and chasing, let them live their pride and prejudice
Leave them alone Madara!!
@beatriceportinari :
love is real mister madara !
Go back to mind fucking your husband !!!
Endgame Madara accidentally kills Tobirama (or, Tobirama successfully pressures Madara into putting him out of his misery)
Hashirama Mito and Izuna create Konoha and are a power couple together but the narrative is forever haunted by what Madara did
Madara is kept in a shed out back where he's haunted by Tobirama's vengeful ghost
Today's AU is brought to u with the help of @mengfm @instant-bull and @beatriceportinari, everyone say thank you to them
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