#i drew her a lot more feminine my first time

[rameiixo]

flush and feathers.

i’m figuring out how i want to draw falin..

[frvnkcastles]

Hello my lovely writer,

I love your work but wasn't brave enough to write you, until today =) even if I don't know if you're still accepting requests I give it a try, in hope that you like to write a story with your wonderful words. Currently I'm sick as a dog and in need of some care taking Frank...

Frank and her are dating for some time now, but she has problems with trusting him completely because of her last abusive relationship. So she didn't tell him that she is chronical ill and often suffers from pulmonary infections and tachycardia always when she feels under the weather or sick she tells him she is busy so they can't meet. When she's falling deathly sick with a very high fever she tells him to raincheck their date. Frank gets suspicious and tries not to think of her cheating with him. When he doesn't hear from her for days and she doesn't answer his texts and phone calls he's mad and he wants to confront her. What he doesn't know is that she's at home deathly sick and in need of help cause of her high fever. When she doesn't open her door he is raging thinking that she's in bed with another man, but what he finds shatters his heart not as he aspected. He finds her semi conscious on her bathroom floor....

Well some angst, drama, secrets of her past and a protective caretaking Frank nurses her back to health.

Hope that's something you like.

Love, kiss and hugs sends you a fan of your work

Sorry for my English, it's not my first language 🤍

SIRENS IN MY HEAD ➵ F. CASTLE

Summary: Feeling under the weather, you cancel your date with Frank, and when he doesn’t hear from you for a few days, he expects the worst — only to find an equally bad situation: you, unconscious on the bathroom floor.

Warnings: Chronic illness, mentions of an abusive ex, cursing, feminine nicknames

Word count: 2.2k

Author’s note: Omg anon it took me so long to finish this, I apologize!! I took some creative liberties with this one because personally I feel like Frank would assume something bad happened to you instead of cheating, but I hope you still like what I came up with :) I’m sending you lots of love and good vibes!!

In the past couple of months, you and Frank had discovered that you had a lot in common — you both liked dogs, you both tended to put others before yourselves, and you liked the same kind of music playing from his truck radio whenever he took you anywhere. But the most glaring similarity between the two of you lately was that neither of you remembered the first thing about dating. He had never even intended to get back into it, but then you had come and won his heart all to yourself, whereas you had been reserved and wary ever since you had broken up with your aggressive and controlling ex. His habit of putting you down with words as much as his hands had earned you a complete distrust of men — with Frank being, apparently, the exception.

Still, you didn’t completely open up to him. In fact, there was one major thing you had been holding out on, out of the fear that it would be too much for him to take — or worse, he would take advantage of that weakness somehow. So when you started to feel under the weather once more, your chronic tendencies acting up again, you made sure not to tell him why you were canceling your dinner date.

”Yeah, it’s just, I have to be at work all day and it doesn’t really seem like it’s gonna work out today”, you rambled into the phone, hoping Frank wouldn’t call you out on the bullshit excuse, only to be crushed a little more by his disappointed voice.

”Oh, okay, sweetheart. ’M sorry to hear that. Maybe tomorrow, then, huh?” Frank suggested, his gravelly voice full of dismay, and as a wave of nausea rushed over you, you squeezed your eyes shut and drew in a shaky breath.

”Actually, uh, I’m not sure I can make that work. I’m really sorry, but I’ll—I’ll let you know when I’m… more available”, you cleared your throat, embarrassment creeping up your spine and mixing in with the cold sweat breaking on your forehead. ”Again, I’m sorry. I have to go.”

With that, you hung up the phone and threw it next to you on the mattress before groaning and running your hands across your face. You hated this, but you couldn’t bring yourself to telling him the truth. Still, as your fever rose and your heartrate refused to calm down, you wished nothing more than to have Frank by your side, caressing your hair and holding your hand.

It wasn’t the first time you had done this, tried to fool him into thinking you were fine when in reality you were not, but this was the first time Frank was more than just a little bit suspicious. He would have liked to think that enough time had passed between the two of you for you to be honest with him, the same way he was learning to be honest with you — even about things he had always kept to himself.

Still, he let it go. For the first couple of days, anyway. Then all of a sudden, you weren’t answering texts, ranging from casual check-ins to more clear requests for any kind of sign, and when he called you, you didn’t pick up, either. You had gone completely radio silent for the fourth day now, whereas before you would get back to Frank within minutes. He missed checking his phone and seeing a notification from you, and like a goddamn schoolgirl, he missed texting you until ungodly hours in the AM until he’d pass out on his phone from sheer exhaustion.

And Frank, well, he always assumed the worst. The most horrendous scenario imaginable was already forming in his head, and he tried his damnedest to keep his cool, but fuck, if he wasn’t worried. He tried to get his mind off of you by cleaning his guns, but he soon realized it was just to prepare him against whoever had possibly taken you from your home, or maybe even the street. Surely something had happened for you to not even let him know you were okay.

”Goddamn it, sweetheart”, he muttered at his phone where his long list of unanswered text messages stared back at him. He tried to sit still in his silent apartment, but the longer he did, the worse he started to overthink. And before he knew it, he was out the door, headed for your building with his gun in the waistband of his jeans.

Tapping on the wheel, he impatiently swerved from one street to another. He had gotten far too attached to you — in fact, he hadn’t even realized just how deeply until right now, but he couldn’t bear the thought of losing you, not now, not ever. You had become so indescribably important to him, more than he’d even care to admit, but he couldn’t lie to himself. He was ready to go to war for you if that was what the night had in the cards for him.

He was at your front door in almost no time, his knuckles knocking on the door to give you the chance to answer. But when nothing happened, not even a squeak came from indoors, Frank tried the handle — to no avail. ”Fuck”, he cursed under his breath, knowing you’d hand his ass to him for what he was about to do, but he wasn’t going to let a mere door stand in his way.

And so, he shoved through the door with his shoulder, busting in unceremoniously and with a bang. At first glance, the apartment looked untouched, and in any other situation, he would have taken a moment to appreciate just how you it was, from photos to little plushies decorating the place. But now, he was focused on only one thing, and that was finding you. Even though the place seemed normal in every way, he withdrew his gun and kept it hoisted in the air just in case, the barrel leading the way as he searched the apartment room by room.

It was in the bathroom that Frank found what he was looking for, only to be slapped in the face by the horror that quickly washed over him at the sight — you, lying on the floor, sweat beading on your feverish face while you breathed heavily and unevenly.

”Shit”, he uttered out while putting his gun away and kneeling down beside you. ”Sweetheart? Hey, sweet girl, can you hear me? Hey, I need ya to wake up for me, okay?” Frank continued, his anger fading into worry as he lifted your head up and tried to gently shake you into consciousness. When you began moving on your own and your eyes parted open, he sighed in relief, but licked his lips in the realization that you were not in the clear yet.

”Hey, hey, take it easy. You with me, darlin’? Look at me”, he instructed with short and simple statements, his voice gentle but stern, and you found it in yourself to follow his guidance. You leaned into him and looked up at him, struggling to find your words with your dry throat and your dizzy head.

”Didn’t want you to see me like this”, you slurred, and knitting his eyebrows together, Frank tilted his head at you.

Nodding to promise he understood, he cleared his throat. ”Listen, I’mma take you to the hospital, aight? I’ll be with you the whole time, I promise”, he continued, and even though you didn’t have it in you to fight back, you nodded.

With ease, Frank picked you up from the floor, and as quickly but carefully as he could, he rushed downstairs to his truck where he made sure to protect your head and avoid any sudden movements while buckling you in. He maintained a balance between rushing and not risking your life any further, but needless to say, he was relieved no cops pulled him over as he sped through the streets to get to the emergency room.

He was working on autopilot, his instincts guiding him but his mind not quite catching up with what was happening. He was scared, but that part of him was shutting down completely and the diligent soldier in him took charge of the situation until you were lying in a hospital bed, still unconscious but stable according to the doctors.

He didn’t leave your side for one second, even when his eyes started to slip and his body yearned for coffee. The doctors told him he might have to wait all night, but he was willing to — he just wasn’t going to let you wake up all alone, confused and hurt.

It must have been near 4 AM when you finally came to, your groggy movements alerting Frank who was half-asleep in the chair he had dragged to your bedside. But as soon as you seemed to be waking up, he was eyes wide and his hand reaching for yours. You were too out of it to fight him off even if you had wanted to, but when your eyes adjusted to the new setting and you slowly realized where you were, you clung onto him desperately.

”Frank…”, you croaked out, eyes blinking rapidly as you lifted your head just a little bit, and shushing you softly, Frank caressed your cheek with his free hand.

”Hey there, pretty girl. I’m right here. You’re at the hospital, okay? I found you, uh, I found ya unconscious and I got you here”, he started, his rough voice a warm welcome as you got oriented — although as you did, you found yourself hoping you wouldn’t.

As soon as you remembered the couple of days you had had, shame, regret and guilt gushed into your system, poisoning you from within and encouraging you to bury your face in your hands. You groaned, but still blissfully unaware, Frank continued.

”I—I’m not really sure what happened and the doctors don’t wanna tell me anythin’…”, he trailed off, sounding and looking very much like a kicked puppy, and it made you feel so shitty. God, you really liked him, and now it felt like everything you had developed together was moments away from burning to ashes.

”I’m so sorry, Frank. I didn’t want you to get involved in this mess”, you breathed out, pursing your lips together awkwardly in an effort to not cry.

”Hey, you don’t gotta apologize. I… I wanna be involved in whatever you got goin’ on, y’know?” he shrugged before licking his lips and adding, ”and since I’m here now, maybe you could tell me what’s goin’ on?”

He made a damn good argument there. So, you decided to put on your big girl pants and rip off the band-aid.

”I suffer from these… spells, I guess. I deal with chronic illness and when I get sick, I get really sick. I’ve been struggling with it a lot this week, so I cancelled our date”, you explained with a grimace, but Frank didn’t seem shaken by it — worried, sure, but about to make your worst nightmares come true? Not by a long shot.

”Man, that’s… Shit, that sucks. No way ’round it. ’M sorry”, he sympathized, and you nodded quietly to accept his kindness. ”Maybe I’m just a big ole’ idiot but uh, you coulda just told me, yeah?” Frank wondered, and you couldn’t help but chuckle at his innocent attempt to understand. Granted, you weren’t making it easy for him.

”Yeah, that’s where my trust issues come in, I guess. Um, my ex was really… Well, the worst. I kinda learned to expect the worst from everyone, especially men, and I didn’t want to risk telling you because I didn’t know how you’d react. Even now I’m kind of worried about what this means for our future”, you admitted nervously, your fingers fiddling with the thin cover on top of you, and Frank immediately squeezed your hand to reassure you.

”I ain’t gonna do anythin’ you don’t want me to. I’ll try to learn about it and do whatever I can to help ya out, is that okay?” he questioned shyly, and with a quick nod, you smiled at him.

”It’s okay. I would like that. I just don’t want it to be an inconvenience or—or something that gives you too much control over me”, you explained, and tilting his head at you, Frank frowned.

”I don’t wanna control you, sweetheart. ’M sorry your ex was a piece of shit like that. But I promise ya, I ain’t gonna be the same. I’mma do this shit right”, he insisted, still squeezing your hand, and as his words hung in the air, you felt the anxiety slowly fade away. Maybe, this could work out.

”Thank you”, you whispered, and nodding to confirm it was the least he could do, Frank lifted your hand to his mouth and left a gentle kiss on the back of it.

”Next time… you can tell me and maybe I can come over and take care of you, yeah?” he offered, and when you broke into an approving smile, he flashed a grin at you. ”Good, good�� ’Cause I gotta be honest, I really like you, girl. And I ain’t plannin’ on messin’ this up”, Frank pointed out, and with a giggle escaping your mouth, you gripped his hand a bit tighter.

”Don’t worry, you’re doing just fine so far.”

[taylor-titmouse]

Shrinking Violet is out! another of @petitemortality R/L Monroe's wonderful erotic shorts, with another cover by yours truly >:) i've been saying it on nearly every promo post i make for this but if you're one of the people who has wanted me to write f/f, you're legally obligated to read this one. below is the sales copy, and then below that some discussion of the process for designing the cover!

Nobody at college knows that shy, nervous Maya had a 'bad boy' reputation in high school - and Maya is the only one who knows tough, rebellious Nasrin used to be a sweet-tempered teacher's pet. Mutual attraction is rekindled when their paths cross again, but the two find their old dynamics have been flipped on their head. Maya finally knows what she wants, and Nasrin is bold enough to give it to her...that is, if she can bring herself to ask. Will their first time be perfect the second time around? 7k words, EPUB and PDF format. This is the second in the Fuck Yourself Friday series of shorts. New stand-alone erotic stories are released on the last Friday of every month. FYF 1: Go Fuck Yourself These stories contain explicit sexual content, and are intended for 18+ audiences.

Contains: -F/tF -transfem sub -outdoor sex -praise kink -soft penis stimulation -non-penetrative sex

THUMBNAILS

this one was very straightforward with the request: "the image I have in my mind for a cover is someone's fingers knotted in a skirt spread out against wildflowers. but more in the sort of gripping your own skirt gently kind of way, somewhere between anxious and excited if that makes sense. I'm thinking like you know the classic soft grunge tumblr aesthetic photo vibe. type of shit you'd post next to a closeup of a skinned knee in long socks"

very easy instructions to follow! so while i usually prefer to do 3 thumbnails, i only ended up with 2. there's only so many ways you can depict a hand on a skirt, after all. and we decided that we wanted to continue with the style i established with the first one, with silhouettes, lineless art, and bold textures. we liked the first one more, but wanted to get some leg in there.

i proposed adding black pantyhose to the narrative to make it work on the cover (i have changed prose to match what i drew for illustrations Many times) but we went with bare leg in the end

FINISHING

so i didn't actually do a sketch for this one, just went straight to rendering. as we all know i use gradient maps a lot in my work, so i gave lee a choice between a bright, springy palette, and a wetter, darker palette. i also offered it with the border, or with the skirt going over it. personally i like the skirt going over it, but the border keeps it consistent and more book-cover-y, so we went with that. lee chose the darker palette, which suits the story much better

but the font didn't fit! too vintage for the story, which takes place in modern day.

fonts time :^)

we went with the third option for the contrast. and also added a raindrop to the flower (which got moved to the right petal in the final draft). gently touching petals, wetness, This Is Yuri.

and the final result is as above!

anyway you should all read this story, it's incredibly sweet childhood-best-friends-to-lovers and in itself a love letter to trans femininity. i highly recommend it, and it's only $3!

go and get it!

[bitchy-peachy]

Ramblings of "I Don't Agree With Your 'Lifestyle' But I Still Want To Be Friends"

The more I don't want to talk to a certain demographic, the more hellbent they seem to be all up in my social spaces.

Are you into humiliation? Are you that desperate to talk to someone that you pick arguments with the other side for social interaction and then have the audacity to ask, "Why can't we be friends?"

Some of Trump's people have a weird way of making friends. You seriously want someone like me, that hates your guts and now sees you as a danger to my life and the lives of others, to be your friend after you voted to hurt people like me? I've been tagged and followed by weird ass blogs that want to act like regular mutuals when they're disgusting cheese puff cultists.

Can't you stick to your fellow pure white christians and leave people like me alone?

You "disagree" with my  existence and are stupid enough to say "Me disagreeing with your entire life doesn't mean I want you dead."

Actually yes it does. You view my personal life and even ethnicity as something sexual and kinky, but yet you vote to make my existence illegal.

I'm a porn trope for insipid boring people raised in echo chambers. An exotic gothic mommy with an accent and weird beliefs that makes me "interesting". I have a lot of friends similar to me in likes and style and we've always noticed the sick fascination these fascist fucks have for us.

We're a novelty. It's sorta like what a friend told me once.

"They love our food on Taco Tuesday but on Wednesday they're calling ICE once they've got the recipe they plan on gentrifying."

These fuckers even lie about who they voted for to get into relationships with us. All the more reason to alienate your asses. You know we don't like you and still want to be there.

You don't have to be included in everything. I've seen some assholes even say that an interracial relationship isn't really interracial if there's no white person involved. You guys really showed us your thirst to be included in everything by how you called Obama, a mixed Black/White man, Black, while saying that Harris, an Indian/Black woman, wasn't really Black.

You even ignored how qualified she was to call her a DEI hire. She was way too good to be your president. I said it. TOO GOOD to be your president.

You completely disregarded the fact she was mixed because she didn't have a white parent, but 2 POC as parents. Your side used whiteness to determine her race.

Okay, I'll leave that there but I get really intense like this as a mixed woman of ambiguous features that gets confused with multiple ethnic groups frequently...

Some of you want to destroy us, view us as pornographic, entertainment and exotic beings like a freaking zoo. Everything we do is somehow done to turn you on and entertain you in your messed up mindset.

(and I'm not attacking all white people with this. I'm only attacking the willfully ignorant af ones that refuse to learn how fucked up they are. I've explained this issue many times before and they still want to fuck up so bad and impose their presence on us as if we're obligated to accept them. Apparently they are the only ones allowed to tell us they don't believe we should exist)

Maga are the type to want to go to a drag queens show to have a good laugh at a performance while... Not seeing the performers as real people with lives beyond your temporary entertainment.

My first spouse was a drag queen. Yes, it's not that big a secret. He was my spouse but worked in drag. I witnessed both sides of a coin during my 6 years of marriage to him.

As a man during the day he was respected and even feared (he was very fit and tall) but as his drag persona, she was beautiful and full of so much charisma that everyone had to simply stop to stare at her... While she was also sexually harassed and touched without permission. Her feminine appearance drew in disgusting people that didn't see her as having a right to her personal space.

Although we had our own set of problems, my ex always fought for women and protecting them because of his own experiences. He had been abused as a child as well by people that want to assault "femininity" since he had been a "pretty child".

One man even stalked my spouse and I had to pick him up from work.

I know people are probably shocked that a drag queen would marry a woman but... We are both bisexuals and found comfort in each other. It didn't matter to us that we were "odd". To us that "oddness" was normal.

The reason why I bring this up is cos the people that harassed my spouse and felt entitled to her body while in her fem appearance where people that were considered pillars of religious communities and it recent times have publicly supported Trump as a "true christian".

See what I'm getting at here. A lot of people on your side have being seeing us as undeserving of our protected physical space. Consent is seen as a dirty word and "woke" to a lot of you.

You're even having a hard time respecting consent when people tell you they don't want you in their lives for voting Trump.

"You like looking at us. Laughing at our jokes, yet if you had a chance you'd lie about us and want us dead."

You want them to entertain you but call them "groomers" and child molesters.

I've got a friend of mine that's gay and the amount of shitty braindead right wing comments he gets of, "I don't agree with your "lifestyle choices" but you're funny so I like you as a person-"

Do you fucks even listen to yourselves? I bet you think it's bad to refuse service to a christian nationalist but go outta your way to justify spitting on a potential customer for being lgbt+.

I've always played around with the idea of using my "beliefs" to completely scorn your ilk. I can say, "I don't hate you even though I disagree with your lifestyle choices," whenever religion or politics come up.

A lot of you think only your religion and beliefs are the ones to be respected. I'm a bruja in my community. Half of my family is. It's part of our culture and there's christians wanting to be friends with the "spooky bitches" that would be burned at the stake or forced into their colonizing religion if they had their way.

Last time I went to a wedding of two of my fave besties some straight guy that was invited made disgusting jokes about joining them in their honeymoon for "real sex". He was drunk, duh, but he went further by obnoxiously saying he was "living every man's dream" by being in a lesbian wedding.

He used alcohol as an excuse and even cried when getting kicked out... But a drunken man's ramblings are a sober man's truth.

Umm, lesbians are not interested in your dicks. They want other women. They're not doing this for your entertainment. This is why I say... We can never be friends with people like you that see our lives as something to get off on. You don't even see us as human and these election results further cements that along with the fact that you can't seem to respect boundaries set by others.

As soon as someone says they don't want Trumpers in their blog for literally voting to fuck up their rights to live peacefully ... A Trumper interacts starting a boohoo argument.

If they don't want you, they don't want you. You don't have to be included in everything, especially when you voted to exclude people like us . You've clearly drawn a divisive line in the sand with your vote and seem to be refusing to see how you utterly fucked up.

Even disabilities are fetishized and seen as insignificant ffs. Like "I get off on this but I think you don't deserve ACA for this disability I sexualized".

These things are what has made me realize that we don't have to accept you. In fact I find it annoying that people assume that we have to be "tolerant" when we should have been far from tolerant. Your side has been the ones that have voted for years to strip us of rights to even our money. Yes, social security, that we paid for, is getting cut cos republicans are such assholes that see the money we earned as a privilege.

It isn't just people like me that are in danger due to others voting without doing proper research. If you planned retirement, you'll have to wait till your 70s now, ACA and Obamacare are the same thing and the amount of people blindly celebrating getting rid of "Obamacare" while keeping "ACA" is sad. My neighbors fell for it and voted Trump. One of them has cancer. They're white and old, but have cancer and voted Trump. I heard the wife literally crying for awhile after another neighbor told her exactly what she voted for.

Her treatment... She voted against it. Their kids don't want them cos of how hateful they are and these people are gonna lose all medical aid and get their SS cheques cut.

All because they voted stupidly. Wanting cheaper groceries and "hurting the woke agenda" really has you getting FAFO.

But this isn't our lesson to learn. Its your lesson to learn. It frankly pisses me off that we're dragged along for the ride of your own karmic fuck up. We knew what was at stake while you didn't even bother yourself to think of the repercussions coming from your votes.

This is is no longer a difference of opinion but proof to show how selfish and with fake morals you truly are.

This is why we can't be friends. This is why we don't want to be friends.

Us distancing ourselves is about as much respect as we will show cos it's obvious you hate us so much you'll hurt yourself for it.

I need to stop posting essays, lol. But I hope someone that isn't offended easily but is willing to learn can finally see the whole picture and understand why we're feeling this way. I would consider making a series to show our perspective and to educate the already present ignorant stereotypes but I couldn't be assed to do it.

I mainly write for my own selfish reasons. To vent my inner thoughts and find others like me so we can build community among our peers.

If you attack my post, I don't care. I said my piece. If you want a proper conversation because you really want to understand... I don't know if I have the patience for it but I'm sure you'll find someone else that will...

Going back to my horror marathons.

[aritsukemo]

So, I started watching Hell's Paradise..

IT'S. SO. FREAKING. GOOD!!! ( Ramble under the cut! Spoilers and possible grammar mistakes ahead!!! )

I'm only on, like, episode seven, but I'm really enjoying myself!!!

Starting off with my boy, my man, my loverboy nonchalant Gabimaru!! His design immediately drew me in the first episode and I find his writing very good so far. A man, who was grown and groomed into being this emotionless killing machine only to dream of going completely against that all because of his love for his wife? SIGN ME UP!! I love how conflicted he is and how much those conflictions are weighing on him. How, because of how he was raised and what has happened to him, he's been treading this line and constantly tipping over the edge of "I'm a heartless, empty killer who's only purpose is to kill" and "I want to live a peaceful, normal life with the one I love/I don't want to kill anymore". The symbolism, how his character's portrayed, those small moments of vulnerability that shows how he differs from your typical cold killer and is actually just this morally broken guy who was raised/influenced by an actual monster; the head chief. ( Who, by the way, is literal nightmare fuel. I don't usually get creeped out easily by stuff in anime's, but the way Mappa went about drawing him is just..terrifying.. )

OH, AND HIS FIGHTING IS MMMM SO ADDICTING TO WATCH!! >.<

Next up is Yamada Asaemon Sagiri, or Sagiri for short. I want to first off get it out of the way by say that she's drop dead gorgeous. Imean, look at her!! No seriously, look-

As someone who absolutely adores strong female characters, it was no surprise that I fell in love with her! She reminds me a lot of Yona as she goes against what the norm was at the time and decided to become a swordsman despite everyone telling her she's better suited as a wife and mother simply because of the fact that she's a woman. ( Which irked me every. single. time. it was brought up btw ) I love how the author is going about her and how she struggles because she feels guilt for even the most evil of people simply because she's an empath--something that is often considered a womanly trait in the eyes of the people, especially men, of that time--but doesn't go too far with it and make her seem weak and useless because of those struggles. I like that, even though she hesitates and sometimes gets help from others ( mostly from Gabi from what I've seen so far ), she gets the job done and doesn't sit there and call for help like some damsel in distress and actually uses her strength!!

My love for her was explained pretty simply in episode six when Genji pointed out how she has the talent to be able to flip flop between being dominant and powerful like a man, but still holds the sense of gentleness and care one would only find in the heart of a woman. I love that quality about her in the same sense I love Mitsuri Kanroji's quality of being able to be cheery, feminine, and delicate despite being involved in such a 'manly' and grizzly job that being a demon slayer is.. AHHH IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT ANY FURTHER, I JUST HOPE YOU GET WHAT I MEAN!!

Next up is the vixen, Yuzuriha of Keishu. I haven't seen much of her yet, but I love her design and overall appeal. Although, she puts up this front of being this carefree, seductive airhead, you can tell there's just so much more to her and can't wait to see it. ( Although I feel like when she does show her true colors, it'll be when she finally betrays Gabimaru and Sagiri like she implied she would.. )

( Also this little stunt she pulled in this clip had me in a chokehold for a hot minute. Like MMMMM LOVE IT WHEN HOT WOMEN DO HOT WOMEN THINGS!! )

Toma and Chōbei are next up! When I first saw Chōbei, of course my mind immediately went to, "Oh shit, it's bakugo!" lmao- His fighting style is cool and his backstory is heartbreaking. Past that though, I'm undecided whether I like him or not..

Like, his backstory was tragic and had me feeling bad as a sad backstory would. It was also amazing in the sense that it gave me more understanding on why he became the way he did and how his mentality was shaped because of it. I find it cool that he has a knack of adapting to any situation too! ..And that's also why I'm so conflicted when it comes to him..

That leads me to bring up Toma, who I immediately fell in love with as soon as I saw his character design. ( I have a thing for men/boys with long hair, mkay? Don't judge me.. ) I haven't really wrapped my head around his character yet ( like his brother ) but it's obviously that he sorta idolizes Chōbei, so much to the point that he didn't hold any gripes towards him when he thought he was going to leave him for dead--which is my main dislike about Chōbei right now.

But yeah, if I had the chance, I'd still date them no questions asked- *smack*

I find Gantetsusai and Fuchi funny and cute together and overall find a good so far. I especially like Fuchi. He's a quirky little guy 😚

( And this height difference kills me. Like LOOK AT HOW LITTLE FUCHI ISSS )

And finally, we have Nurugai and Tenza, who is ranking up to be my 2nd favorite pair in this entire show! Putting aside that Nurugai literally evokes my gender envy, I love her and Tenza both individually and together! I love Tenza's kind soul, how he scouted out Nurugai because he wanted to help her after finding out why she was sentenced to death row! I find it such a highlight of his character and it makes me love the contrast between his brighter self when compared to Nurugai, who's more gloomy and has been traumatized into adapting this matured mindset.

Bonus points for being the only two to not immediately get into it with each other when on the island as well! It really was a breath of fresh air! Oh, an extra points for making me smile like an idiot- 🥰

So far I'm in love with this show! Idk yet where it falls on my anime rankings, but it's definitely high enough up there to spur me to write a drabble or five about this show! Can't wait to watch more in my spar time!!

[paris-in-space]

Hey, I was wondering how you chose colors for the Dracula cast! (I love Arthur's red jacket.)

Hi! I am so sorry I only just saw this ask today, but I’ll answer it now, hopefully it was worth the wait (at least with the drawing asks I have the excuse of not having had time to draw things).

Okay so, a lot of the decisions I made when it comes to the colours was on instinct, but I can still try and explain.

Jonathan wears brown, with a hint of red in his tie, and has brown hair and eyes, I wanted his colours to be relatively unassuming, the little bit of red is for visual interest but also maybe hints that he’s not just an average guy, but his design is intentionally quite plain.

When I first designed Mina it was actually for an English Lit A Level class where I had to make a character sheet about her, so I actually googled her for inspiration and took some from her look in the 1992 film (I now hate that film although it does have gorgeous visuals) and I think the green from her outfits in that film stuck in my head. Initially in my mind I didn’t imagine her as a redhead however when it came to actually putting colour on her it felt like a good decision to make, and offers some nice contrast to the green. Her earrings are meant to be like drops of blood because symbolism.

Lucy wears pink because I think of her as being pretty and feminine, the choice to have multiple shades of pink in her outfit was just to make it more interesting although the ribbon she wears in her hair matches with Arthur’s tie. Her hair is a warm blonde because of the sunny ripples line in the book, and her eyes are brown to keep things warm.

Arthur is the character whose design has changed the most since the first time I ever drew him, and I’m glad of it. (My original design of him was incredibly boring) although since first adding colour it has changed very little. The choice of red both looks nice next to Lucy and fits in with the other suitors whilst still being distinctly different. Choosing Arthur’s colours was very much a case of seeing what felt right rather than thinking too much about it in depth. (Also thank you for the compliment on his jacket.)

Jack spends a lot of time being sad so a cold colour palette made sense for him, I think the green has some medical connotations, and still allows for him to have some colour in his design without being too bright. Aside from brown shoes which sort of balance out his hair, any other clothing than his waistcoat and tie are grey because I don’t think he’s the sort to wear much colour. He also has the palest skin of the lot because he spends a lot of time inside.

Quincey on the other hand has such a warm presence as a character that his colour palette is full of warm tones. His mustard yellow waistcoat is the most memorable thing to me but it isn’t his only defining colour, I mostly just wanted him to have a very warm presence without venturing too close to Arthur’s red. I am also fully on board with the idea of Quincey being a person of colour.

Renfield is very grey all around with almost purple undertones. His clothes are very much inspired by the 1931 film which was of course black and white, and are also simple enough that many other colour choices wouldn’t make much sense for him. His hair reflects his age, and his complexion is somewhat unnatural (definitely unhealthy) to sort of separate him as a link between Dracula and the human world whilst also not really being a part of either.

I have barely drawn Van Helsing in colour so I don’t think I can really do a colour analysis on him yet, I need to get into the habit of drawing him and actually design him an everyday outfit, I’m pretty sure the only time I’ve done him in colour he was wearing black because of Lucy’s death.

Dracula himself is a mysterious black shadow with red eyes, mostly because I like the idea of depicting his menacing presence and dangerous vibe without specific details, I also really like the idea of a Dracula adaptation where you don’t actually see Dracula, and just have the mystery that the characters face and whilst drawing him this way isn’t exactly doing that, I think knowing this might make the design make more sense.

I hope this makes sense and was worth waiting so long.

(I had to re type a bunch of this a few times because I accidentally clicked off without saving more than once, having typed out multiple paragraphs)

[frokenkeke]

Making of Ashes to Ashley

Recently I posted my comic Ashes to Ashley, and got such a tremendously kind and loving response that I felt like sharing a little bit more about where it came from.

The story is about a transgender awakening, where the quiet and somber Ash explodes out of the closet as the loud and colorful Ashley. This was always the plan, however the details changed along the way. Quite quickly I realized that I was writing about myself and my own trans journey. I never played in a band and I don't imagine I'll ever grow bunny ears (sadly), but still Ashley is undoubtedly a reflection of myself. I just allowed life to become a stage and gender performance a rock concert.

Above are the first idea doodles I drew late at night in early April. I quite enjoyed giving Ashley lipstick and prominent eye shadow, since I hadn't ever done a character like that before. The idea was a bit of exaggerated femininity that accidentally becomes raw punk expression. One or two people have pointed out the Um Jammer Lammy similarities, and they are absolutely not coincidental. Initially I imagined Ashley would've been more reluctant about her transformation, which is why she looks a bit more annoyed in some of my sketches, but the story became more bright and funny if it was made immediately clear that this all happens off of her own volition.

Some method and color tests. My girlfriend suggested I instead go a lot more raw with it, which is why I ended up adamantly using an ugly sponge brush built into Photoshop. Sapphic Disaster are some form of punk-shoegaze band, so combining rough pencil linework with crunchy texture coloring felt like a fitting visual representation of them. This also side-stepped the biggest problems I've always had with drawing comics – dealing with inking is a boring waste of time, and working digitally always makes me fixate on perfection. By just using pencil on paper I had to stick with whatever errors couldn't be saved by a regular eraser, in fact I dedicated myself to only using an old worn down Bic mechanical pencil and embraced the idea that the comic would consistently look a bit off and amateurish. Of course I allowed myself the luxury of cleaning up my drawings digitally before coloring, but that can only take you so far. This way of working helped me make fast progress and kept each step engaging, I've never had as much fun drawing a comic as I had with Ashes to Ashley.

Here's a before and after from initial scan to finished panel. I often only tidy up around focal points like faces or hands, and allow the rest to remain as it is, usually parts like the legs or Ashley's ears.

Character references and my initial color picks, they went through small changes as I went along. I liked giving all the band members different sorts of rabbit ears to make them all look distinct from each other.

Here's some ideas for the Sapphic Disaster band logo and the comic's color palette, notice how Ashley is more vibrant than Ash.

While working I filled up numerous papers with doodles trying to workshop panels and layouts. It's too much to show all of them here, so I composed a few collages of my favorites.

It was pivotal for me that Ash would always look painfully cute. The sketch of the table scene with Floyd shows a rare out-of-character confident and laid-back Ash. In the presence of Floyd?! Never!

I was very concerned about the reader recognizing the old Ash when first seeing Ashley. She may be all excited about being a girl, but her nervous cluelessness remains. I ended up going back and redrawing two panels in Ashley's introduction to strengthen this impression.

For those not in the know, shoegaze is a rock subgenre that centers around noisey guitar textures, typically achieved through heavy use of effect pedals at the musicians feet; hence the name. When Ashley plays her guitar she produces a cacophony of strange sounds, the reader will have to imagine what they actually sound like, but I always imagined their opening number "I Wanna Be a Girl" to sound like a couple of amateurs trying to recreate Lush's Blackout.

The page where the band go around looking for Ashley while she's receiving her makeover was shoehorned in at a later stage for pacing purposes. That's why Gabriel is suddenly back to pulling cords after previously claiming they're all set, oops!

One of the core rules to this story is that everyone is always overly supportive of Ashley's transition no matter what. This is what makes the otherwise stern and serious Floyd especially funny, my girlfriend was pivotal in sprucing up his dialogue, adding bits like "have you seen the health care waiting lists?, "I know an endocrinologist who owes me a favor or two" and "give me 35% more danger"

Towards the end I discovered that Ashley and Debbie dancing was apparently the most important panel in the entire comic, judging by how much I tried to perfect it. (For the record, my favorite panel is when Ashley screams into the microphone that she wants to be a girl.) Maybe Ashley and Debbie dancing should've replaced the final full-page panel? Well, we got a lot of cute doodles out of it regardless. Just kiss already!

Initially I imagined Ashley to be standing alone in the "could this be the real me" final panel, but I realized her odd family of friends was equally a part of the real her. She was always right where she needed to be, she just needed to find herself within that place. (I ended up giving Ashley a cigarette because otherwise it looked like she was praying.)

Here are some ideas for the cover illustration, of course in 1:1 format to look like an album cover. Up until last minute I planned for the comic to have You Made Me Realize as its subtitle to distinguish it from eventual follow-ups, which is why the You Made Me Realize EP cover art is paraphrased in the top-middle. I ended up just going with Ashes to Ashley to keep it clean and simple. The title Ashes to Ashley was blurted out immediately by my girlfriend when I first showed her my concepts for the story. It's perfect, she's perfect.

I drew two Ashes and two Ashleys for the cover art and let my fingers smudge all over the latter. While most obviously riffing on the cover for My Bloody Valentine's Loveless, it's equally taking from the Ecstasy of Saint Theresa's Pigment.

And there you have it.

However I never intended this to be the full extent of Ashley's story, just a satisfying and complete end of a chapter. I've already finished writing the next story, Today Forever, and I hope I can get it out to you all soon enough. Your love for Ashley keeps me going.

/Kiki

[whirligig-girl]

Star Patrol rocket Piccard-5 encounters an artifact of the incredibly powerful White Marble Civilization. circa 2169, colorized & shipgirlified.

Commission for @foxgirlchorix, based on a render by Holly for @torchship-rpg

This is some of my best rendering work ever! These commissions do have a knack for putting me out of my comfort zone enough to continue developing my technical skills and style.

Image ID: Digital art of two ship girls in a black and blue nebula background. One girl is a very large solid white marble statue with a naked feminine form, pitted and cratered with meteoric impacts, drifting belly-down though space. Instead of a face, her head has a large hole which glows yellow-orange, with a white marble sphere held in space outside of it. A green tractor beam is being emitted towards the second girl, a Torchship named Piccard-5. She is a silver girl with her body resembling a star patrol jumpsuit. Warp drive rings circle her waist like a hula hoop. She is wearing a spherical ball helmet. She is wearing white rocket boots. She has glowing red-orange radiator panels as wings on her back. The white marble sphere's tractor beam is slowly disassembling her into individual hull sections, disconnecting her radiator wings, removing her boots to reveal the rocket propellant inside her legs, and taking her body apart. Piccard-5 is reacting with a worried or confused expression. End Image ID.

Artist's notes and concept sketches in the read more:

When this render was posted Levana immediately had the idea to make it one of a series she was planning on commissioning me for, of shipgirls based on Torchship's Star Patrol (and alien) rockets. So we quickly brainstormed how it would go down and what she could afford price-wise.

When I do big commissions with new characters where I'm creating the design without an existing OC reference, I charge extra for character design. That doesn't just go to waste! Here's the concept art page:

The White Marble shipgirl is inspired by the Eerie and Enigmatic Empty Vessels by @murmurlilies, which Levana really likes--if you look at her blog you might see one of those posts reblogged multiple times. I wanted to pay homage to the eerie and enigmatic empty vessels without directly ripping them off! The first sketch on the upper left is imagining the girl poses by breaking her arms into segments and moving them around, but that never looked quite right to me. The second is basically just a direct study of the empty vessels (with a ball head). The third is after a little more refinement--I liked the cute hair on the empty vessels so I wanted to keep the head mostly intact, and I found a way of keeping the silhouette of the jagged angular hips on the empty vessels but in a very different way! Meteoric impact damage, just like on the original Torchship render. I also used an edited version of one of the Empty Vessels drawings for the thumbnail sketch in the lower right out of laziness.

There's also a sketch of what Piccard-5 looks like when she's not being disassembled. Piccard-5 has a rounded main hull, so it looks much more like a regular space suit helmet than the frustum-shaped helmet on the Newton-2 shipgirl I sketched a while back. The Newton-2 shipgirl had heat radiators as wing shapes on her boots, but making them actual wings on her back makes the disassembly image all the more unsettling.

I changed the hairstyle on the white marble girl when I drew the main drawing because I wanted to evoke like, greco-roman marble statues, and so a curlier/braided look worked better than the cute pixie cut of the empty vessels. I'm really happy with how the final product looks. I knew I wasn't gonna be able to half-ass it with the rendering, you know, just a little shading along the edge; this required a lot of careful thought and it was a lot of fun to do! Especially where the craters interact with the terminator (line between light and dark), just like on the Moon, which I have a lot of experience sketching (see below--the following sketches were made while looking through telescopes at the Moon at night)

Here's a WIP of just the line-art:

and with the basic shading done on the marblegirl

I started with like, a cel-shaded look (?), and then went in and softened the edges, then went over it again to fix the craters. I also added the marble texture to the unshaded base layer.

For the Piccard-5 girl, I spent a lot of time trying to get the pose right. I wanted it to be a little stiff, she's in a suspension beam after all, but not too stiff? And I had to decide like, what pieces should be detached, and where should they be going. In the render, hull pieces are often displaced towards the side, but when doing that to a humanoid, it ruined the pose too much, so i avoided doing too much weird stuff to the torso and kept the disassembled pieces largely to one axis. The cross sections are hollow because they're ship decks. She's a spaceship, not a robot girl. The warp ring was suspiciously untouched by the dissassembly beam in the original render, but i had the marble girl pull a few pieces off of it in my drawing.

Probably the one thing that isn't based on something happening in the render is the belt. Like, rockets don't have belts, cosmonauts do! So that was a fun little touch.

[real-reulbbr-band]

@godnattakatta asked for my favorite Victoria actresses in a previous message so here they all are!

Hyla Mayrose Wright (US Tour 6, 2021)

Her Victoria takes and her understanding of her overall are just so intriguing to me, I feel like she understands who Victoria is but also what can be expanded about her, like her saying Victoria has an actual connection to the Jellicle moon itself was everything to me and it still is, because it makes sense; the moon can symbolizes femininity but also (at least in some interpretations) the ebb and flow of time, which relates quite well to Victoria’s arc of coming of age. Focusing on her performance though, I kept finding myself looking for her in the crowd- she has such cute background interactions with the other jellicles that each have their own uniqueness to them, like she thought of how Victoria feels about each and everyone. Granted, the US Tours do seem to have had some direction to further character interactions among the cast but Hyla’s really stuck out to me. I was so focused on her during the ball- which I think is saying a lot since so much happens in the US tour choreography she’s just so fun to watch and can really capture your attention.

Georgina Pazcoguin (2016, Broadway revival)

Her expressions during the white cat solo are everything- and she really evokes the feeling of being captured by these strange feelings she's having and still being intrigued by them as much as she's nervous. She wants to and then does surrender to the feelings, and her heavy breathing by the end of the solo (whether intentional or just because of exhaustion) I think adds a really nice touch. I'm really partial to her expression at the end of the solo and how she interacts with Mistoffelees afterwards. Very good stuff but no surprise since it was directed by Gillian Lynne! Also she's what drew me to Victoria in the first place so I have to include her.

Hanna Kenna Thomas (Various London productions and Vienna revival)

Her Victoria comes off a little more playful and even sassy to me, which is really fun to watch. A notable moment for me is when she's encouraging Jemima to play with Jenny's tail and whenever she interacts with Munk. I also like the subtlety of her acting during the solo, she moves very beautifully and her expressions when lowering into the splits- so good. I also think she has an overall excellent reading on Victoria (though I do disagree with one thing she said) but I do think she's ultimately right that there is an innocence in discovering yourself and your body for the first time and it's beautifully presented in the solo.

Honorable mentions: 

Ellis Van Evert (Amsterdam and Original Paris Production)

Ellis really embodies the "Unselfconscious" trait the best for me, like she doesn't even expect the pas de deux to happen because she's so deeply caught with these feelings inside and overall she's just really cute. Particularly during Skimble’s song, she’s very excited about creating the train and being in the front, she starts twirling with the cowcatcher- again super cute. Like on my first watch of cats Paris I was taking physical notes and pausing every other second because I was so into her performance.

Ebony Jayne Kitts (RCCL Cast 12) 

Ebony’s performance as Victoria, to me, really showcases the ‘loving life’ aspects of Victoria’s character and just seeing her perform makes me happy, her Victoria is so smiley and cute she’s become a newer favorite of mine. She has this very timid but excited energy during the pas de deux which is very fun to see and her acting flows very well with her movements during the white cat solo. I’ll admit there’s some small bias here because I did see Ebony perform live, it just wasn’t as Victoria but even then her movements were so fluid and gorgeous to watch just like the clips I’ve seen.

 I don’t think there are any Victoria performances I dislike- so I like just about any Victoria, as long as the performer gets those key moments down like the white cat solo and Grizabella’s first touch I’m happy.

[liquidorcard]

Has Lily acknowledged your existence yet?

SOLID LILY WILL NOT RESPOND TO MY CEASE AND DESIST FROM MY TOTALLY REAL LAWYER TO STOP COPYING ME!!! MY FACE IS COPYRIGHTED BINCH!!!

She also has never responded to a single one of the thousands upon THOUSANDS of hand written notes that we could be

💖~ kissing each other right on the mouths as sisters ~💖

While I even bring her coffee! 😭

____

Yes. Sort of at least. The whole "Solid Lily," "Liquid Lily" episode, I can more or less confirm happened because of me.

The day I made this account, though I never interacted with her directly on purpose, I was watching to see when/if she blocked me. Took her something like, two or three hours to find my account and block. Which, in Lily's defense, fair enough. I think my reasons for mocking her are more than valid, but I wouldn't expect anyone to NOT take being openly made fun of like this as more than enough reason to cut off direct contact. It's clear I don't like her. But by the timing I can all but confirm the ask she got next was a self ask:

She didn't get the joke. Poor Lily doesn't get a lot of things, though.

She referenced me and another parody Lily account more directly here:

The "Mega Milk Lily" Liquid drawing came out if me making fun of this comment.

There was an instance of Mikaila vagueposting about someone drawing Lily as a "big titty goth gf," implying that artist, whoever they may be, wanted to bone Lily. That was also probably in reference to me. If it was, that tells me two things:

1. Mikaila doesn't know what a goth is (speaking as a goth guy.)

2. Not a surprise they both think drag is some kind of pervert satanic ritual if they interpret absolutely ridiculous drawings that don't even look close to the real Lily as flirting. I'm not trying to play dumb, I know there's a sexual implication to the way I draw Liquid. Liquid's origins as a character are a little messy because the original Lily Wojaks I drew ages ago. The "abusive wife" wojak has big tits, and that was the first one I made.

But as I started developing the character as a whole persona by herself, I started leaning into it more to both parody how in a performative hyper femininity. I'm a drag performer in real life. Though I don't perform as much as I used to, I used to do a lot of parody impersonations (Ben Shapiro was my favorite, lol.) Also, it's just way easier to draw curvy women super fast since they're made of a lot of distinct shapes.

If they think me drawing a parody Lily this way makes me think I'm into her, well. Sorry Lily I'm only into chicks who hurt people consentually. Full offense, with all do respect.

There's been a few instances I've been made aware of I personally concluded was not actually all that likely to be about me. However, there was one instance involving Loly alluding to a phantom violent drawing Courtney supposedly commissioned. In my opinion, Lily is making the whole thing up, or her friend is. Courtney supposedly sent it to a friend of Lily's instead of her directly, and this friend refuses to show or send it to Lily.

I can't confirm who speculated about this first, but either Lily or KiwiFarms suggested it was me who drew it. This drawing no one's seen but a friend of Lily's, who Courtney supposedly paid money to have made, only to ever send it to JUST Lily's friend.

I mean I can't prove a negative, but like, if this commission ever materializes there's a million different ways to at least show I would have had to go to take pretty extreme measures to hide that I made it.

The last instance I really can't say for sure if it was me or not. But it may have been me that caused Lily to go on a prolonged rant about metaphors. The same day I made fun of her for the same thing, referencing a 9 month old Sai stream where she confused "symbolism" for "simile." Symbolism can absolutely be used in a visual or conceptual metaphor.

[your-old-sins-tournament]

12 YEAR OLD OCS; SIDE B

Drake Blue [@silveredcircuitry] (she/her)

I was OBSESSED with Drake for like. several years. I drew her so much. Funnily enough though she was never the main protagonist, generally serving the role of "the narrator's best/first friend who knows magic in this urban fantasy setting". She was the extroverted, knowledgeable, tomboyish foil to my various introverted, new-to-this, vaguely feminine self-inserty protagonists I wrote. Her full first name is Dracanea or something but no iteration of her is terribly fond of it. She also for some reason used an abbreviation of her last name in early versions (I guess to either sound less pretentious or blend in) but eventually i just made Blue her actual last name upon understanding nobody does that.

She's half dragon on her mother's side, giving her an array of abilities that shifted a bit depending on whether I felt like including them. These almost always included superhuman strength and resilience, flight, and some flavor of pyrokinesis. She has wings that she could shapeshift away in some iterations but her flight is more magic channeled through having her wings out than actually using them properly. Also sometimes fangs which I rarely drew on her. Generally not great at the magic in the setting but not so much catastrophically terrible so much as she just. doesn't use magic that often.

She fucking hated dresses and preferred to wear whatever was comfortable and easy to climb/run/fly/fight/do whatever else in. I have one drawing of her burning a bunch of dresses and other girly accessories and I genuinely cannot tell if this was me characterizing her as a TomboyTM, just part of my "let's be feminist in the most cliche ways possible because i have unresolved issues and all the boys in my class bully me" phase, or Indicative of Something TM. Or like. All three.

She was a whole bunch of things kid-me thought was cool, but not in what seems to be the usual way. She wasn't someone I wanted to BE so much as someone I wanted to be friends with. Strong in a lot of ways that I was weak in, and I think having more distance between her and myself than the aforementioned dozens of self-inserts helped get me more obsessed with her. ALSO one of my earliest developed non-insterting-an-existing-person-or-character-into-the-story OCs.

she also made it into my very dead webcomic that i will not share a title or too too much information about besides the fact that i made her slightly terrible at hiding her powers and also in a lopsided rivalry with a sorceror who keeps trying to beat her in a fight just to prove he can. He doesn't actually succeed ever and she is increasingly annoyed with him especially once he dragged someone else into it. She could shove him in a locker and he would not be able to stop her.

Jenn Adreana [@apotheoseity] (she/her)

Despite her being made when I was literally NINE YEARS OLD (and I just turned 20), Jenn is still a character I regularly use and draw. Originally made for rp on the children’s coding website Scratch, and at one point used as an avenue to —at different points in time— selfship with multiple characters including Dipper Pines and Monika from DDLC, she’s changed drastically over the years. But she never stopped being an overpowered, shapeshifting mary sue 😌

[thearoaceshark]

One more day Leona was looking at herself in the mirror, more specifically looking at her throat.

When she came out as a girl, changing her appearance to a more feminine one was easy, she just needed a little eyeliner, sometimes a bow on her mascara, and that's it! Everyone saw her as a girl. She started practicing her voice to make it sound more feminine, and it was going well... Until they fucked up her throat.

Her injury in that fight made her voice sound much raspier and more masculine... The first few days she couldn't even try to do another voice, it was her eyeliner and the bow on her mask that made her that made her look feminine. When her throat improved a little, she tried to practice a feminine voice again, currently she could do it in everyday situations and it came very naturally, but it was not like before. Any carelessness and that horrible and raspy male voice would come out.

"Leah?" said a rabbit with white fur, peeking into the room. It was Usagi, her girlfriend. "What is wrong love?" She continued now approaching the turtle in front of the mirror.

"It's just..." she paused, looked at her reflection "You know, I don't know how to draw, since we were children I wasn't good at it" she began to relate, and the other nodded indicating that she would continue "At first we all drew the same things, little colorful flowers, things we saw in picture books or cartoons that dad brought in. But Raph and Donnie got better over time, Raph genuinely loved painting, and Donnie wanted to start drawing plans like the ones engineers used and that's why he learned. Mikey also wanted to improve, but he barely improved haha" she remembered smiling, even so she adored her little brother's doodles "But I did lose interest, I spent more time training, and also, looking at the cute drawings of Raph I was afraid to make mine, because I compared them... I got over it, but the thing is that I never learned to draw, probably if I tried now I would be worse than Mikey."

"On the other hand," she continued, "I was the best at singing. For some reason I was very good at that, and I liked that a lot, it was a talent I had apart from martial arts. But since the incident... I no longer I could..." her partner grabbed her hand and sat her on her bed. "I remember when Raph was unconscious I tried to sing him something, a lullaby that dad used to sing to us, and that's when I noticed how much my voice had changed. I sang to him what I remembered from the song, and I hummed the lyrics that I didn't remember."

"What song was it?" Usagi asked.

"I don't know, Sensei stopped singing it when we were like 7, he used to sing it to us when we couldn't sleep or when we had nightmares. In fact I think he didn't even know the lyrics, some verses were there, but others seemed like he invented them because they changed every time he sang it... Those are the ones I don't remember..."

"Hmm," her girlfriend reached out to kiss her cheek. "What if you sing it to me?"

"...I don't really like how I sing now" Leona finally got to the point she wanted with her story, and her girlfriend noticed it.

"I see... We'll fix it" in the next sentence her tone of voice changed a little "Also, you know that my voice isn't very natural all the time either, right?" she said in a funny grave tone.

They both laughed at that, yes, neither of them had access to voice therapy for trans women, they did what they could, and that was fine. Not being comfortable with her voice was also okay, they would solve it somehow, together.

"Aishitemasu"

"Watashi mo itoshite iru yo"

♡

○♡○

▪︎○♡○▪︎

○♡○

♡

"[I love you]"

"[I love you too]"

(Translated with Google, if anyone knows Japanese and sees any errors, please correct me).

The lullaby Splinter sang was one he had heard from Tang Shen, but he didn't completely know the lyrics and was trying to guess the parts he didn't remember.

I feel like after Splinter died the turtles started referring to him as dad as often as sensei.

I saw a Tiktok where it showed the main characters of 2012 drawing and everyone had drawn except Leo, so on the tiktok came to the conclusion that they didn't know how to draw. And that's where I got the idea.

I'm not trans but I tried to reflect the dysphoria Lee feels as best I could with the knowledge I have. I hope I did it right, but if any trans person doesn't feel comfortable, don't hesitate to tell me, you can tell me what makes you uncomfortable and why, and I will edit it.

[whisperingwisterias]

Your Name and Gender Performance

Your Name is one of my favorite anime films of all time, from its touching story to its beautiful animation and soundtrack. It’s a story about love and figuring out who you are and holding on to connections that are important to you, but underneath the big themes I think that this film also makes a commentary on a few relevant societal issues.

An issue this film tackles in particular is gender expression and how we express ourselves through it. When Mitsuha and Taki first start switching and are still trying to figure out how to exist in different bodies, we see that despite the sex of their bodies changing their gender expression does not. In Taki’s body Mitsuha’s body language is still very girlish and feminine, especially in the way she often holds her hands close to her chest when she’s unsure. She also speaks softer and lighter and uses the more feminine word “watashi” to refer to herself. Meanwhile in Mitsuha’s body, Taki’s body language is a lot more casual and confident, sitting with his legs spread wider than is usually considered “ladylike,” interacting with Mitsuha’s friends much more physically, and overall behaving much more tomboyish. He also presents himself differently, like tying Mitsuha’s long hair back in a simple ponytail rather than the complicated braid she usually wears.

The film also shows that rather than being ostracized for failing to live up gender stereotypes when they are switched, the more queer presentation of their gender actually makes them much more popular. In Taki’s body, Mitsuha’s typically feminine qualities like her sewing skills, her girlish demeanor, and her kindness and consideration towards others cause Taki’s previous crush, Okudera, to take romantic interest in who she believes to be Taki and even cause one of Taki’s friends to remark on “Taki’s” change in personality and blushingly consider it cute. In Mitsuha’s body, Taki’s boyish confidence causes Mitsuha’s popularity to skyrocket to the point that he starts receiving love letters and confessions from both girls and boys at Mitsuha’s school. In both cases it was the ways that their gender performances deviated from the perceived norm that drew people’s attention and popularity.

Although I believe that Mitsuha’s and Taki’s body swapping was more about their connection to each other than the impact of their gender performance, I think that Your Name’s subtle commentary on the issue was still valid and successfully tells the audience that breaking away from gender norms is not a bad thing but rather something to be encouraged.

[octahedral-chaos]

Remember that Angel in a dress pic I uploaded ages ago??

Well, your question there about whether her dress was inspired by Indian clothing got me Thinking™, and I want to do an actual design for her for Eclipsed that pulls inspiration from that more deliberately.

I'm planning to pull some inspiration both from Indian clothing and from Native American clothing, since both were in the back of my mind when I originally drew that, but I want it to actually be more intentional and deliberate this time around.

Do you have any recommendations on what elements to borrow, or what/where I should look to for reference? (Cuz google can be... ahem, unreliable, if I don't give it just the right terms. ChatGPT is marginally better, but still). Really any advice on the subject, since I'm much less familiar with it and I don't have a great grasp for filtering out good vs bad references.

(Also, please bonk me if this comes across as rude or inappropriate, I was...not sure how to phrase this.)

Okay so since I'm Desi, I'm going to talk about East Indian wear. But for Native American stuff... that's a tiny bit iffy I believe, as there are many groups and... Well... I'm not well versed in it so I'll allow any indigenous peeps here to chime in with advice.

Okay so first thing first, types of Indian clothes.

There's the most common ones: Saris!

They're basically a really long cloth that is wrapped around the body. They're usually a lot of different styles, and the most common way to wear them is to wrap them around the waist, then drape one end over the shoulder. They also come in a lot of colours too!

They are also worn with a blouse, and may have mirrors and embroidered patterns on them.

Also red or pink saris are used for weddings... so please keep that in mind.

Next up, Salwar Kameez

These are basically a combination of several clothing articles. Comprising of the salwar (pants), kurta (blouse) and sometimes dupatta (Basically a scarf or shawl).

Salwars tend to be baggy. The Churidaar, however, is fitted. Both are used for casual wear I believe.

There are others, but these are the ones I'm most familiar with (Plus I assume that you might want traditional Feminine wear... so for more references to basic types of clothing, here's the Wiki page)

So for our favourite Angel here, we could use a sari, as the blouse can be backless, which we could easily incorporate the wings here! Plus it seems pretty easy for a starfolk with a large halo and wings to put on and off. Plus, many of the fancier Indian wear tend to have mirrors (AKA little gems of sorts) and embroidery attached to them.

Indian embroidery styles tend to vary a LOT, and can be extremely complex too. The basic pattern seems to be a lot of dots, squares and triangles, with combination and such being very common.

Hope this was helpful, although this might be worded weirdly. It was really fun to look at cultural stuff in a new light in all honesty.

[fennecfics]

My only version of Stanley that I like

THE REST OF THE ART (which is a lot) IS BELOW!!!

I got obsessed with Pizza Tower on this page, and drew the Noise a lot. I also made an OC for it, which I named Pepper Butternut (aka Pizza Bandit).

More things of the noise, one tiny redesign of Pizza Bandit, and Fake Peppino/Bruno.

More Fakey, my first drawing of Pizzano, and another Pizza Tower (Specifically Sugary Spire) OC of mine.

Washed up Italian man, Pizzano being silly, and my Sugary Spire OC again.

Okay, I feel like I need to explain my Sugary Spire OC at this page. Ms. Sugarman is supposed to be Pizzano’s spouse, because I noticed how there wasn’t really a character for Noisette’s role.

The Overseer. They’re my favorite character ever. I love them. You’ll probably see more of them in my other posts.

The Overseer with another character, which I named Harry Brighting. I am a little ashamed to say that he is inspired off of The Narrator from The Stanley Parable.

I am still a little ashamed, because now that I look at it, he’s just a blatant copy of The Narrator (except human). I’ll see if I can change him.

Badly drawn Pizzahead, also I watched The Mask (with Jim Carrey) around the time I drew this.

I’ve noticed that I’ve been making more feminine characters recently. This is my Welcome Home persona, Ms. Bluebell. She’s a gardener. I’m still working on her :,)

A few concepts of Kandy for my Kandy Park story.

My usual persona in The Stanley Parable.

I also drew my version of (Y/n) working at Peppino’s Pizza for their instagram account.

A small drawing of The Overseer with color.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my art dump, since it’s been a while since I did one of those-

[luvmagician]

Ok, I'll be the one, Fubuki!!

you didnt say which number so i answered all 30 of them

1. My first impression of them

me and GX really had an enemies to lovers arc i could barely sit through the first episode after finishing DM the guitar stings were too much. i did not care much for any of the characters. it grew on me though we are besties now obvs

2. When I think I truly started to like them (or dislike them, if you've sent me a character I don't like)

i think i realized how much i liked S1 nightshroud first bc i love campy and ostentatious femme villains and then my love spread to regular fubuki around the time i got to s4 and then he graduated to a proper Blorbo and well the rest is history…

3. A song that reminds me of them

go fish by cub (ask me no more questions / ill tell you no more lies / about my sweet little trip to the other side) also obligatory fubuki playlist link

4. How many people I ship them with

off the top of my head 4 (ryo yusuke reggie manga!jim) but my interpretations tend to stretch the definition of “ship”

5. My favorite ship of them

idols hehe ^_^ lh4wds couple (lighthouse 4 wine dark sea)

6. My least favorite ship of them

theres not any i particularly dislike to be honest. hes a charismatic guy.

7. A quote of them that you remember

WHEN STAGE LIGHT HITS YOU THAT WHICH IS BEHIND YOU IS SACRIFICED TO SHADOW ! 🌟

8. Your favorite outfit of them

first i have to come out as an turn 60 austin powers cosplay enjoyer so sue me the purple looks nice on him secondly HIS LADY OSCAR OUTFIT!!! I WISH I COULD PICK THE BRAIN OF THE ANIMATOR WHO PUT HIM IN HER OUTFIT SOOO BAD ITS EVERYTHING TO ME

9. Your least favorite outfit of them

nightshroud outift but only when its lit by cool lighting and looks gray thats when its ugly when its lit warm and looks brown its flattering!! see theres a stark difference here!!

10. Describe the character in one sentence

11. What's the first thing you think about when thinking about the character?

“BUKI!!! :)” <- too happy to formulate coherent thoughts

12. Sexuality hc!

little bisexual weirdo

13. Your favorite friendship they have

manjoume and him are so sweet and funny thats his little guy. thats the chihuahua to his valley girl

14. Best storyline they had

season 4 makes me screammm its about absence as a presence its about how running from something only gives it more power over you its about confronting the horrors and chosing to live with them instead of dying to escape them…

15. Worst storyline they had

the jokes around his treatment of asuka in the show proper arent Great but i have a thick enough skin to slough through it… that being said the flanderization he endures in the spinoff games especially cross duel SUUCCKKK the “trying to marry off my bitch sister” jokes werent funny in 2004 they arent funny now STOP TRYING TO BRING THEM BACK. even more of a bummer bc i think his love for love and romance are such endearing parts of his character seeing them flattened down into bad jokes makes me -___-

16. childhood headcanon

regularly held concerts for an audience of his stufffed animals drew flyers to hand out and everything it was a whole production.

17. What do you think their first word was?

he needs attention. something attention grabbing like “HI” or “HEY!” or “ME!” something like that

18. How do you think they were as a kid? (Like, were they shy, noisy, wild, etc)

he was just as outgoing and chipper but also.. yk he was an emotional feminine kid with long hair who didnt like conflict and kids are mean.. but i think asuka looked out for him a lot and beat up his bullies

19. The most random ship you've seen people have with them

fubuki/shoji (manjoumes older brother) is so funny. i love it btw i think its such a serve and there are interesting ways you can spin it like yess fubuki chase the childhood you barely got to live by hooking up with a man who looks eerily like your highschool protege and maybe gold dig while your at it

20. A weird headcanon

i think him and asuka grew up in the middle of bumfuck nowhere (nowhere near the ocean he just picked up surfing really fast his freshman year) and them and the marufujis have a lil country mouse city mouse thing going on. and i draw him with rubber bands on his fingers to help with his memory issues :)

21. When do you think they were at their happiest?

freshman year of duel academy he was on top of da world baby

22. When do you think they were at their lowest?

the almost two years he spent in the nihilism nightmare depression hell dimension or the day he found out Prince died

23. Future headcanon

he does acting and entertainment dueling and shows up on variety shows and keeps teasing his album but refuses to release it until he he can get asuka to feature on a song. if he did ever release music all his music videos concepts would have a rich interlocking story ala the loonaverse

24. What do you think is a secret they have that they never told anyone?

he dodges questions about the darkness BIG TIME and even lies about like the time he lies to judais face about how oh im fine :) the darkness isnt in me anymore :) he really doesnt want to worry people i think he goes to his grave with just how much his time there sucked and how he suffered afterward. i dont think he would ever tell ryo or asuka how bad it really was

25. When do you think they acted the most ooc

this is hard hes on screen like 4 times

26. When do you think they were being "themselves" the most?

fubuki is always himself even at the absolute height of his performance and apparent detachment from reality because the act of performance is so baked into his character he would not be truly “himself” without it. he is both the mask and the wearer.

27. If they could meet a character from another show/movie/etc, who would be the most fun for them to meet?

HE SHOULD MEET JOEYYY i think joey wheeler is his personal hero… also him and ryan akagi from infinity train book 4 could absolutely kick it. two dudes who want to become rock stars and were trapped in hell/purgatory for a while

28. The most unnecessary thing they ever did?

the pensive ukulele strumming to punctuate his revenge monologue to kagemaru

29. How do you think they would be as a parent? (and if they are a parent, how do you think they would be if they weren't?)

I THINK HED BE A GREAT PARENT !!! a bit overbearing and doting but only bc he loves so so much.. hed be so good with young kids until they grow into teens and realize hes cringe

30. The funniest scene they had?

gotta be dropping down from the ceiling to call gay people “taboo and thrilling” and his sister homophobic

if you made it this far.. thank you for indulging my craziness 💖