#i dont want anyone to feel pressured or anything
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ganondoodle · 3 days ago
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so, after this phase of depression, i am back at too many ideas at once and getting overwhelmed by all of it bc i cant do it all and dont know how to decide which one to focus on or which ones actually good and not just a brainfart
(so, some more botw2/totk rewritten ideas-
mostly text but i am unsure what to actually work on and draw or if its even any good, so id be very happy to hear your opinion on some of this qoq)
-was thinking about designing the sonau even though they might not show up physically, to keep their mystery alive, but i am playing with the idea of a dead one preserved in crystal in a larger cave, perhaps their last stronghold, i like the thought of them being rather small monkey like creatures with long tails that end in a light fern looking thing
--been also thinking more about the ancient queen zeldas and ganondorfs relationship bc i feel its compelling for them to have had a much more personal grudge agaisnt each other than i previously planned, gives more weight to everything-
though it is mostly background stuff that is not directly shown in the game, except for environmental storytelling -which botw was pretty good at- and diary entries you can discover (perhaps finding it and then telling riju and a gerudo researcher about it since it would be in ancient script zelda hadnt encountered before?), current thought was to have there be a secret lair that one of ganondorfs daughters used to live in after the sealing disaster sent both kingdoms into conflict, and with their mother dying in battle the eldest daughter would surrender and agree to whatever the princess of hyrule demanded, while the younger one would not bow down and those that followed her split off to live in the gerudo highlands, like another reoccuring theme with this being the prescursor to what happens with the shiekah and yiga later- of those are none left by this time (or should there?) and the diary of the younger daughter talks about her fathers secret hideout having being sealed shut as a sign of respect- it is inaccessible due to the structures beign damaged, but its serving as a hint there will be more; it will be made accessible after the mid game fight with ganondorf, in which you see the scene of the sealing, and he changes his position from hyrule castle that fell into the underground to the innards of the plateau- that being the final dungeon- in his room, might also be a part of his diary, at least from his younger days, and a bracelet of obviously hyrulian origin, which is meant to imply-
that the ancient queen zelda and him were in love once when they were both younger, though neither really acted on it (noble families pressures and conflictions yippie) until it was decided she would be married to a young knight of a noble hyrulian family, as it had been per tradition, after which they would not be able to visit each other anymore in the way they sued to as her father wanted her to prepare to take the throne and was way more strict than before, with one last meeting in that secret chamber and her leaving a bracelet there as a gift-
now heres the problem i ran into, that they had feelings for each other and used to be very close, as well as both having their own families later on is pretty solid and i want to keep all that but i also randomly thought about weaving the drama further (in that noble families kind of way especially, though again this would only be mentioned in his diary entry from the secret room you unlock, and since his younger daughter doesnt mention anything at all save for makign a point about not rummaging through her late fathers things out of her deep respect for him, its pretty clear she didnt know and neither did anyone else except for ganondorf himself and perhaps his mothers, this is all meant to make all of these characters have more depth even with getting little to literal no screentime, not to be a big focus)- so there was the stray idea of the ancient queen having a daughter 'just' after being married to that hyrulian knight.. and it being obviously not his, but gerudo, as gerudo traits are rather dominant(i think?) and the knight and ganondorf look nothing alike, so to avoid any sort of royal disaster that daughter would be secretly given to ganondorf to raise instead (which he would gladly do), and the official story being it was stillborn (the whole thing being worked out by a few maids sworn loyally to their queen .. im torn about the queen herself knowing or not tbh or if that even matters in the grand scheme of things (though i do like the idea of her knowing but acting like it is nothing to live up to being a wise and proud queen now thats shes under that pressure, she would change alot during her time of reign, going from that more typical unsure of herself but trying her best princess to a self confident cold and calculating queen, maybe he could even make a short remark about it), again this is still just vaguely implied background details most wouldnt even find out about, i just .. like to think about the background of things that make sense and give more weight to it all but arent what it revolves around and its neither essential to know, might as well be one of those things people would likely hear about in youtube videos)
i didnt find or dont know if theres any rule that princess zelda cant have siblings (i think she had a brother once but idk that may be different about sisters is the question) bc ganondorfs older daughter then not awakening any special (zelda reserved) powers could be simply bc she wasnt trained to do so (perhaps she would be able to hear things like zeldas often do but that too being only mentioned offhand) and him just not putting any focus on royal hyrulian traditions, it could be a secret rite too and honestly .. why would he try to train her to be the traditional princess of hyrule, awakening powers that are reserved for the hyrulian royals would make everything go haywire in terms of the secret about her mother, though im worried it would seem like her being gerudo is seen as 'tainted' instead, like she isnt a 'real' or 'pure' zelda and that being the reason, which somethign i do not like at all
either way that second part is purely an idea that i am 50/50 about using since its really not a big deal in the end and ultimately doesnt change much except make their relationship a bit more messier
---ahem, anyway, i also decided i wanted to model most sky islands after this one photo in my collection since it looks cool and would make sense to have these island be worn down by constant winds
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---- i also want to flood the tabantha canyon with the forgotten temple and considered actually breaking of some pieces of landmass, like it is now a giant island, imagine akkala a kilometer away from the mainland for example, it wouldnt inherently change much about the structure but it would make it feel alot more different and provide good ground for different kinds of interactions since the people there would need to adjust to that, you can melt ice around the riot region easier than you can reattach a broken off giant piece of land after all
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funnier-as-a-system · 2 days ago
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hey sorry for adding to the number of vents in your inbox but we really need some advice and we’re too afraid to let our plural friends know abt this </3 dont feel pressured to answer if you dont know how or dont want to ^-^
i almost never hear other voices in my head(space?) & thats like. THE symptom of being a system. sometimes i’ll ask into the void if anyone is there or try to switch out of front and . nothing happens. for the past 6 months ive been heavily questioning whether or not im really plural or if i just dissociate and think im a different person sometimes and this is really the main reason why i think im probably not a system; the only times i have ever actually felt like there are other people in my head are when i was very badly dissociated (usually caused by extreme mental distress)
a little help would be truly appreciated but again, u dont need to answer ^^ either way if ur reading this, i hope you have a lovely day!! we love your blog 💖🙏
Hey, there!
I want to reassure you and let you know that it's perfectly fine and possible to be a system without hearing anything internally. Internal communication does get a lot of focus in the community, which is why it can be seen as "the symptom of being a system", but in truth, I don't think there's such thing as a defining symptom of being a system outside of the literal definition (which in itself can vary a bit from system to system). All of us are different; we all go through different things, have different experiences, live different lives. You don't have to be able to hear or even sense others inside your head to be a system.
If you say that you think you're a different person sometimes, well, that sounds pretty system-like to me! Besides, it's not unusual for things like this to only really be noticeable when you're Going Through It™. That's when a lot of symptoms tend to rear their heads the most, I'd say.
And ignoring all that, it took us years to become as skilled as we are with internal communication and switching on purpose. Six months can feel like a lot when you're questioning, but you're also trying to learn two completely new skills. You shouldn't expect yourself/ves to be perfect right off the bat, and you shouldn't judge yourself based on what others define their systemhood around. Again, you can be a system even if your brain is silent and you can't get anyone to switch with you. If you feel like you're a system, you're probably a system, regardless of whatever else is going on up there.
We hope you have a lovely day too, anon!
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joelscruff · 10 months ago
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hi guys 🫠 so i hate doing this because i never want anyone to feel obligated to do Anything, but i'm currently in a stressful place financially due to some unforeseen housing expenses (roommate who took advantage of our resources and then moved out leaving me with two $400+ utility bills in a row 🙃) and could use some help. so i just wanna take this opportunity to boost my kofi where i receive my tips, which, again, i don't want anyone to feel obligated, but if you have the means to do so it would be greatly appreciated. thank you 💖
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nabaath-areng · 16 days ago
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I have way too many alts that I keep to myself (which is why I generally refrain from posting them), but I'm going to ignore that habit for a moment just because I'm feeling particularly insane about this guy.
#silvis side characters#<--- been a while since i used that tag despite intending it to be for this specific type of char#i basically like to play sandbox with concepts for both screens and writing so they tend to become surprisingly developed#even if i end up not touching them again once im satisfied and have gained the outlet i wanted#... this guy and another connected to him has been unusually persistent however. surprisingly so. LOL#maybe i should post them more``??? but for some reason that feels weird cause what if i just dont use them again!!#idk why i feel like im setting up expectations i need to hold. literally no one is putting pressure on me to do anything its ALL in my brai#i mean its a bit because i know i got too much and thats overwhelming and therefore its not like i expect anyone to keep track of them LOL#im regretfully cursed with too much inspiration for too many things at all times and i will make it everyone elses problem just for a bit#anyway the reason i dont intend to make this one a more major oc for use with other people (for the time being at least)#is because he's so HEAVILY tied to another side character of mine in a way where im not sure they can be separated from each other.#actually you can see him now i realize its the viera in the first shot lmao!#i forgot to mention his name is yuzuru and thats about as much as ill inflict on anyone right now <333#i promise you i dont JUST have male midlanders as unbelievable as that might sound. anyway-#ffxiv#final fantasy xiv#hyur#midlander#ffxiv screenshot#gpose#gposers#ff14#final fantasy 14#nabaath-areng
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dan-whoell · 3 months ago
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i keep thinking about a phandom book club, but i have no idea how to go about organizing it or if anyone would be interested or even where to host it
alternatively is there already a phandom book club i could join? because i would love that
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wormchaser · 5 months ago
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you are complaining about complaining too much while complaining about the fact that maybe people dont like you because you complain too much while complaining about being alone. just stop complaining and do something about it. talk to people. reach out. dont just wait for someone to come to you first.
i have tried reaching out to different people in the past year or so but it never works. i understand its my own fault for letting relationships decay because of my own insecurities and issues but that doesn't mean i can just will myself to think or believe different things about myself. it's a self fulfilling prophecy ; i think people don't like me so i don't reach out so people don't like me etc . i am sure you do not want to hear me list all the things i want to say in response so i will put them in the tags.
#every time i try to reach out or talk to someone it goes nowhere. i dont have any social skills anymore and have no clue how to keep a#conversation going. half the time even when i do people stop replying to me. which is fine theydont owe me a reply but still feels likeshit#when i tried to make one new irl friend it just didn't work because they have better options for friends. we spoke occasionally but never#messaged online like ever and would only talk when we happened to be in the same place. i tried multiple times to organize a time to hangou#none of which came to pass. i dont understand why this one didn't work because i thought this person was interested in being my friend but#i guess i was wrong or thought they were more interested than they really were.#i have a problem with reaching out anyway which has been a problem i have had since i was like 11. reaching out to people first doesnt come#easily to me - in the beginning when i was a lot younger i didn't want to bother people with my presence & thought if i were to come to#someone first they would feel pressured into talking to me when they didn't want to. this is stupid of course. but has still not left me as#something i feel is very core to the way i act today. waiting for someone to come to me first feels like my only option because i do not#know how to reach out effectively (my evidence being i have failed every time i have tried) & i am convinced people dont like me in the#first place and do not want me to approach them.#i dont really even know who to reach out to in the first place. my world is extremely narrow. the number of people i know has shrunk#significantly and my standing in their eyes collectively has also shrunk significantly in the past few years. i feel like every person i#was once friends with wants nothing to do with me. i feel as if i have burned every bridge possible.#when it comes to the fact i complain all the time . which i know of course is annoying. its because i cant find any kind of joy in anything#i do or see or whatever. nothing makes me happy - i only see things to complain about. all stimulus seems grating and the world seems#specifically catered to make me miserable. all i can really do is complain. i treat this blog like a stream of consciousness and when most#of that consciousness is occupied with how much i hate being alive the blog will mostly be complaining. its a vicious cycle lol .#anyway . i guess the key theme is low self esteem begets low self esteem in many ways. mental illness begets mental illness.#i am not really saying this to anyone least of all to you anon. i just felt compelled to recount i guess for myself the reasons that came#to mind for why i am like this. i am talking to myself here
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day-mark · 1 month ago
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MY POOR KITTNENHFJD voltron was such a fucking mess I'm crying. Nobody left unscathered..
Now I gotta know what do U think about black paladin dream 😣
black paladin dream fits so well but it makes me a little ill just because of how much shit shiro went through 😞 my natural leader dreamie who is so charismatic but also has gone through all the horrors™️and has the crushing weight of all his responsibilities 😿😿😿😿
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cerealandchoccymilk · 3 months ago
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latest achievement: convinced my femme(-leaning) partner not to shave their legs
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theriverdalereviewer · 7 months ago
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everyone jumping to team kamala we will never experience true freedom in this country
#the democrats would vote for fucking hitler if he was a nice guy im convinced#allow me to break down this silly little “you can't focus on morals people's lives are at risk we have to vote blue to stop trump!!!” thing#first of all people's livelihoods are still at risk even when there is a democrat as president#did you forget about the immigration bill biden and harris signed? or you know a fucking genocide#and if people's livelihoods are at risk then shouldnt we vote with out morals? and you know not for the dems who are famously pro genocide#what is the point of voting if you can't vote for who you actually believe in?#and besides this what in this country was actually accomplished through voting? 99% of the progress made was done through violent resistanc#the only reason shit even made the ballot was because people showed they wouldn't accept things the way they are#which is exactly what you are doing if you vote for kamala harris AKA BIDEN'S FUCKING RIGHT HAND MAN#and you just sound like an extremely selfish person if genocide is not your red line#it just sounds like youre saying “yes they murdered palestinians in gaza :( BUT WHAT ABOUT US AMERICANS!!!!”#as if the democratic party has done anything to protect americans anyways. like my job as a voter is not to get the democrats elected#to mitigate damage caused by republicans. that is the fucking democrats job. it is their job to make me want to vote for them#and until they stop massacring men women and children in gaza they will never get my vote#the democrats could openly announce themselves as extreme bigots towards anyone that isn't a cishet rich white man (which they have before)#and you stupid asses will still tell us to vote for them. how evil do they have to be for you to finally consider another option?#and everyone else in the world gets to have other options but america noooo in america we can only have two parties or else you die#and when a democrat is elected and they send another 1 billion to israel i hope youre prepared to live with the blood on your hands#YOU WANTED THIS YOU ENABLED THIS YOU VOTED FOR THIS#the reality you won't face is that there are more options and you could vote for them but none of you are willing to take that risk#yet youre willing to risk the lives of palestinians the lives of transwoman the lives of every person that bitch threw into prison#you people are so hooked on stopping trump (the democrats meaner twin) youre willing to sacrifice everything you stand for#to elect someone who is just as bad as him but is “polite” while they do it. the democrats will never feel pressure to shift to the left#as long as you idiots continue to accept their move to the right. why should they stop the genocide in palestine when youve proven#you'd vote for them no matter what?#no one’s life improved from trump to biden and the same will be true for kamala but you can keep telling yourself they aren’t the same#i’ll be voting green bc that is what i believe in inshallah you grow a spine and do the same until we’re free from these two satanic partie#and dont tell us youll protest after she's elected what would the point be???#youve shown you'd put her in power no matter why should she respond to the pressure?
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parallaxabomination · 10 months ago
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my brain is so full of stress it might explode. but ill do my best to keep putting out my best and stay kind to myself and others. but man, is it hard
#i wish i had something for myself rn#but i come home so exhausted i cant even focus on art#everything has been burning me so thin#i keep talking down my own art now. i keep refunding clients. i honestly want to give up on everything#people tell me i do a good job but i dont see it. i dont see an artist whos worth anything right now.#i dont know if thats a phrase#i have a early morning shift tomorrow and i cant fall asleep#i want to just rest but im so restless#i dont want to put pressure on anyone besides myself bc i feel like a huge burden#if i do so#everyone else should be having a good time#so i feel like a bummer to take up their emotional space and time#i appreciate the kindness people have shown me recently#i know i work hard. but im still so broken over everything#i just havent felt like an artist since it happend#he left a bigger scar on my ego than i thought it would#and every time i voice it i feel someone is out to end me for it#but at the same time i feel completely unnoticed and unheard#i dont expect anyone to see me as me#i just feel this lump in my throat now. this weight on my hand#they say kind things but im so hurt inside i dont see it as truth right now. i dont see anything worth admiring#they say such sweet things and i want to accept them so bad because my heart needs it#but i cant help but feel the words die as they reach my ears. im just too hurt i cant see it#i cant see the truth in my work all i see is someone else's desire in their commission#as long as they are happy. as long as they are satisfied#thats all that matters#i dont feel important enough to be apart of the process anymore#i dont feel worthy as a person or artist#i just feel less than nothing and that no one will care
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ganondoodle · 4 months ago
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i dont think i have the right to ask this, since i so rarely have the energy to reply, but .. i want my drive to draw art back and this awful depression gone (or at least made less bad..) so desperately that i will bear the shame of asking it anyway, just in the hopes of something getting that spark i had held onto for so long to light back up
though .. im not sure what i want to ask for, i guess .. anything? something you'd like to see me draw, a compliment, a question- whether zelda or oc related, a little totk rant of your own, a picture of your cat, a random fun fact-
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guinevereslancelot · 1 year ago
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i am unknowable and incapable of love goodnight <3
#romantic love i mean#against my will tho bc i want love so bad#but tbh i never feel anything more than awkward when i date 😬#i only feel comfortable with people when there's no romantic pressure idk#would genuinely love to build a platonic life with someone why do i have to be in love to marry someone and have a family w them 😭#love is real im just never going to experience it btw#but i still would like companionship and i really want kids tbh#i dont want to settle for not love in a relationship where thats expected or wanted and the other person loves me#but if it was an entirely platonic no pressure relationship that would be nice#maybe that would grow into love but the pressure of romance right off the bat kills the romance#in need to be close friends for like a decade first#sorry sorry im rambling insane thoughts its 11:30 and i just decided to break up with someone#and he's staying at my home so im even more painfully aware of having another person so deeply involved in my life that they become family#sorry you're not family i dont know anyone but my family well enough to let them be family and i never will please get out of my house#i make no sense but basically i love my family and want kids of my own but i dont want romance in there just platonic family love#romantic love is too hard to find and scary and weird i basically want to live with my actual family and adopt some kids someday sorry#this might change if i met the right person but i would need to be friends with them for a long time with no pressure first#and looking for that person is too forced and weird#anyway#its 11:30 in my 20s a week before valentine's day so naturally i am going insane that's all goodnight
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jmej · 8 months ago
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wasnt tagged but thought it would be fun!
i’m over 5'5 / i wear glasses or contacts / i have blonde hair / i often wear sweatshirts / i prefer loose clothing over tight clothes / i have one or two piercings / i have at least one tattoo / i have blue eyes / i have dyed or highlighted my hair / i have or have had braces / i have freckles / i paint my nails / i typically wear makeup / i don’t often smile / resting bitch face / i play sports / i play an instrument / i know more than one language / i can cook or bake / i like writing / i like to read / i can multitask / i’ve never dated anyone / i have a best friend i’ve known for over five years / i am an only child
tag game 🤭
rules: color the sentence that's true about you
i’m over 5'5 / i wear glasses or contacts / i have blonde hair / i often wear sweatshirts / i prefer loose clothing over tight clothes / i have one or two piercings / i have at least one tattoo / i have blue eyes / i have dyed or highlighted my hair / i have or have had braces / i have freckles / i paint my nails / i typically wear makeup / i don’t often smile / resting bitch face / i play sports / i play an instrument / i know more than one language / i can cook or bake / i like writing / i like to read / i can multitask / i’ve never dated anyone / i have a best friend i’ve known for over five years / i am an only child
this is a whole lot of yellow lmfao
no pressure tags: @marthawrites @schniiipsel @aemonddtargaryen @aemondsbabe @adragonprinceswhore @arcielee @black-dread @lovelykhaleesiii @aemondsbabygirl @valeskafics @connorsui
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esotericbird · 2 months ago
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im startin to think i might actually kill myself
#cw sui thoughts#100% of the time when i say im gonna kms i am jokin but it is also a genuine outlet for me like ik youre not supposed to joke or smn but#even when i didnt joke about it i thought about it multiple times a week#but for the past few years i have thought about it so much and life has gotten so much worse sometimes i feel like im joking on it#and just sayin it alleviates it a bit. like the pressure of it. i wanna die so bad but i cant just Say that#but this month. i have seen the end of my life for years but i think i am finally reachin the end#ive missed every opportunity to turn out of this dead end and i think there are none left#i think im outta options. ive been tryin to be positive but i just dont think i can do this for another year. im pretty sure my life is ove#i cant do this. i cant pull myself through this anymore. the support i do have isnt enough and im going to die and theyre going to be sad#and its going to be my fault. everything has always been my fault my whole life has always been all my fault and even after i die#everything will be my fault. im a terrible child a terrible student a terrible citizen and a terrible friend and im a terrible person#and i dont want to be. but i dont have any energy. i dont have the energy to be anything anymore and all i can be is a terrible#terrible disappointment. ive been a livin achin wound for my whole life and now im goin to infect everyone i love with it.#i wish i didnt have to die. i wish id simply never had the nerve to exist at all. i wish i could take back every single breath.#idk how much time ill be able to squeeze outta myself but i have to stretch it 6 months. if i can just stretch it 6 months maybe i can#idk. at least hang out with someone one last time.#i cant forgive myself. no one will be able to forgive me and i dont and wont ever deserve forgiveness.#acceptance weighs heavy on my heart. i will not be forgiven by anyone. i am going to leave and i am going to tear down everyone i care abou#and i can not be forgiven for it ever#i am going to die#im sure ill be fine. i think im lyin but it hurts less if i think that this is just a dark time for me#just temporary and one day itll ease up enough that ill have enough energy to take a step into a nicer life and hold on when the next bad#thing happens#its just temporary its just temporary its just temporary#it HAS to be temporary. everyone always promises its temporary. it has to be temporary.
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scentofpines · 8 months ago
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my brother visited us today and OH MY GOD AM I GLAD HE'S FINALLY GONE. i cant pinpoint exactly what it is about him but i find him so hard to deal with. he seems very "unproblematic" for lack of a better word and chill and nice etc. but he is also kind of a control freak (in a subtle way) and VERY patronizing and he always inquires (not asks lmao) how i am doing and i always dread this question bc he just won't let it be when i say i'm fine and always sorta wants me to pour my heart out to him?? And I. just dont want to??? Lol. Like today he asked again "how are you?" and I said I'm pretty good BECAUSE I ACTUALLY WAS OK I WAS FEELING WELL and then he was like "yeah? really?" in a very questioning voice ughhhhh. i fucking hate this, it also just feels kind of devalueing to my progress. like i'm having a fairly good time and then there's this dude basically reminding me that i'm supposed to be depressed bc i guess that's just my personality. this doubting thing he always does just pisses me off so bad.
and then later we were just completely casually chill chatting together with my mom and out of fucking nowhere he was like "so what about therapy for you?" and I thought i didn't hear him correctly and I was like????? What the hell are you talking about? And then he just kept saying that i should try therapy again and i was very confused bc it came so suddenly and also i am currently absolutely not planing on doing a therapy. i had my share of experiences with therapists and i'm just not up to it right now. but he was very pressuring like "it could really help you" etc. and kept saying all this shite as if i myself have actually NEVER thought about this. (he is like this very often, for example when my mom and i talk about how we are planning on moving to south west france in the future, he is always like "do you know how complicated it is to move to another country??? do you know how hard it is to take care of a farm???? do you know they speak french there????? do you have brains?" SHUT UUUUPPP) and the thing is when i push back then and voice my opinion of not wanting to do this or, like in the "how r u" situation, insist on being fucking FINE or even just saying or heavily implying that i do not want to talk about this stuff with him it ALWAYS makes me look like i have an even bigger problem because 1) i "lie" about how i'm doing 2) i don't open up about my feelings to anyone 3) i am an idiot that refuses therapy. HE ALWAYS MAKES IT LOOK LIKE THIS with the the way he speaks to me.
I know he means well but it just feels extremely annoying, nosy and infantilizing.
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day-mark · 16 days ago
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i wanna drawwww but i cant :(((
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