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Christopher Eccleston’s first episode ‘Rose’ was broadcast 20 years ago, but Time Ram takes it back another 30 years to 1975, as we recondition the story and adapt for Tom Baker! It’s time to learn about Thora Hird’s epic quest for a glass table, the real meaning of Geneva and the only honest man to enter parliament. Join us as we discuss non-specific wars, CSO fringes and Derek Griffiths!

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aaaace!!! i gotta draw her more, i love her so much 🧨💥🧡

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Time Ram massacres ‘The Keeper of Traken’, previously a Tom Baker classic, but now taking its rightful home in the William Hartnell era! We re-purpose the Pleasence, Fabio and Mr Pastry and also explore a number of spin-off shows: Cameca – Time Stalker, The Adventures of Captain Maitland and Kassia’s Special Sauce. Come on Big Finish, give us a call.

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Wow. This is so impressive! Amazing 😍

Time Ram - Shakespeare's Shih Tzu

To Ram or not to Ram? There can be no question.

Two Doctors, both alike in modernity, In ye olde London, where the TARDIS mov'd, From Tennant tale break to new Capaldi, Where clever pens make boring scripts improv'd.

From forth the fertile minds of these three chaps A set of star-cross'd witches plot for strife; And now re-authored, pitiful buttock-laps Are cut out as though by surg'cal knife.

The fearful rammage into shit-repelling shoes, And the eventual en-ment of the spleen, Which, with the Rowling bit they had to remove, Is now three quarter-hours' traffic of our screen;

The which if you with patient ears attend, What here went amiss, their toil shall strive to mend.

Alternate version & text transcript below the cut

SHAKESPEARE Close up this din of hateful dire decay! Decomposition of your witches' plot You thieve my brains, consider me your toy My doting Doctor tells me I am not!

The Sisters stare down at him and snarl

LILITH No! Words of power!

FX: CARRIONITE SHAPES above, screaming in pain.

Shakespeare gets more confident, it's the performance of his life.

SHAKESPEARE Foul Carrionite spectres cease your show Between the points -

He dries - what next?

THE DOCTOR Seven six one, three nine oh!

SHAKESPEARE Sev'n six one, three nine oh And as thou face thy last defeat, I say to thee…

No idea, he looks at the Doctor. No idea, he looks at Bill.

BILL This bitch empty! YEET!

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Time Ram has to decide whether to die stupid or stand down, as we review ‘The Zygon Invasion/Inversion’ which has changed Scotsmen from Peter Capaldi to Sylvester McCoy. In the process, we discover Robert Lindsay, garbled plot points and the Osgood conundrum. Will the quantel paint box cope? Will something very nasty happen to Uxbridge? And how many types of Zygon are there anyway?

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My latest dw fan art

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“Rose, I’ve just remembered.. I can dance!”

9th Doctor & Rose

Extra layers💃

I still miss the ninth doctor🥲 Super excited to hear more about the content coming out with nine and rose!!

I love the dance scene they’re so cute together

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I've just gone through all these artworks and it put a massive grin on my face...

Time Ram Fanart Masterpost

Hartnell

Attack of the Hartnell

1964: Year of the Dragon

Drashigs or Dishrags?

Jolly Good Bottom

The Jewell Inside

Troughton

A Good Man Fucks Us Up

Sleep Nae Mare

Freshwater Troughtons of Mars

Pertwee

Sensorites and Sensibility

Mission to Department S

Cinema Veritas

Whodunnit???

T. Baker

Maximum Power of Three

Armegeddon Comes to Milton Jeavons

No Pex Please, We're British

The 'Tache Pirates

Terror of the Crablikes

Davison

The Abominable Doctor Five

Army of Companions

A Nugget of Purest Green

Saturday Super Stor

The Sea Turloughs

Two Flat Ladies

C. Baker

Excellence in Silver

The Tartan Dilemma (Apr)

Mummy and a Nice Tux on the Orient Express

The Arousing

River Song and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamboat

McCoy

Invasion of the Randoms

The Krrrrotons

Removal of the Daleks

The Professor, Ace, and the Chase Through Space

Maggie and the Maggots

McGann

Zero (Pr)Escher

Don't Shoot, I'm Half-Human on my Mother's Side

Norwegian Wood

The McGann of Mandragora

Eccleston

Terry and Judoon

The Dominatrices

Tennant

Torchwood and the Sad Omen

Pyramids of Martha

The Bells of Allons-y!

Dude, Where's My Yeti?

Smith

Dirty Box from Space

The Occidental Toymaker (Jul)

Nightmare of Fraxoie

PEXIT!

The Doctor's Nuclear Family

Capaldi

Death Hat 2000

The Jollity Patrol

Shakespeare's Shih Tzu (Mar)

Christmas on Androzani

Whittaker

The Naughty Cactus Wants a Shape

Darwin's Gorilla (From Parts) (Jun)

The Girls in the Fireplace

Againnant

The Co-Pilot

It's a Museum… A Space Museum! (May)

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I'd forgotten enough of this episode that now I'm thinking 'what DID happen to episode 3?' Fantastic stuff as ever, love the book effect

Time Ram: Whodunnit???

As Time Ram takes Jon Pertwee and rams him heartily into The Unicorn and the Wasp, they take some time to ponder the strange mysteries that surround this story. For instance, why does Gareth Roberts keep reusing his old material? Would it have been better if the Wasp was the jewel thief and the alien was a unicorn? How is this even meant to be a mystery when there aren't actually any suspects or evidence? And was that really the best flashback effect they could've got in 2008?

Thankfully, we've got an old and improved version from 1974 with much less bum-licking, 100% less alien pregnancy, and flashback effects that are more forgivable, given the time period. Tune in for Sontaran dirty mags, Cluedo arguments, and Jo Grant's boat race against a goat! But at the end of the podcast, you'll still be left with one dastardly conundrum; where was episode three when the lights went out?

Alternate versions below the cut.

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Time Ram take time off from watching boxsets to review ‘The Doctor’s Wife’ as made for Paul McGann in the late 1990s! In the process, we observe early Wirrns, CGI swirly balls, JNT’s desirable office and screaming Bovril. Could we really, finally have caught up with the Doctor’s father, Ulysses? One thing’s for sure: Time Lords are weird.

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This is epic! Loving all the little details. Fantastic!

And for anyone wondering what we're referring to:

Time Ram: Army of Companions

Hm? Oh, sorry, I didn't hear you come in. I was putting my finishing touches on this shrine to JNT, to commemorate his brilliance in setting up a Dalek-Cyberman bitch-off in this most iconic of Fifth Doctor stories. There's a reason it's the only time the third episode of a Doctor Who story ever got its own Radio Times cover; featuring Peter Davison's exploding dick, no less!* Tune into Time Ram to discover why the Daleks so admire the gardens in the Traken Union, what the ultimate fate of Peri's British cousin was, and how Varsh came to headline a prog rock group. Come listen as Adric gets sucked off... for what might be the final time...

*of course I included it. how could I not?

Alternate versions and individual, full-color pictures from the article below the cut.

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Time Ram takes on alien jungle and inconsistent Morestrans as we translate Tom Baker’s ‘The Planet of Evil’ into the Sylvester McCoy era. In the process we uncover apologetic guns, unusual hospital design and cult show The Chunderbirds!

(*Number of E's in EEEVIL subject to change)

(It should be noted that this episode was recorded some time ago, before the result of the American election was known, and also before other recent revelations about a certain TV fantasy writer...)

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Time Ram suffers from assegai-envy as we take Sylvester McCoy’s ‘Ghost Light’, add a soupçon of extra companions and serve again for Jodie Whittaker! Features creepy museums, random glowing ostrich eyes and comedy Groucho Marx walks. It’s time to go to Java (by boat).

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The Reckless and the Carer ✨🤍

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Marvelous! A great version of what I suspect is one of our sillier episodes

Time Ram - Armageddon Comes to Milton Jeavons

It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine. Why? Because it's in an alternate reality where The End of the World was a Tom Baker story; one where Lady Cassandra is a bald, silver Penelope Keith, where Leela, Jeb Jajubjajoo (Bob Hoskins), and the decaying Robo-Pleasance fight to survive on a dying Earth, and where K-9 helps a blue plumber played by Helen Mirren fight the Living Skins from The Tomorrow People in an oversized air duct. Better put the Beatles on the iPod, because this is one wind that will be so mighty as to lay low the mountains of the Earth!

alt. versions under cut