#if i do so
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
my brain is so full of stress it might explode. but ill do my best to keep putting out my best and stay kind to myself and others. but man, is it hard
#i wish i had something for myself rn#but i come home so exhausted i cant even focus on art#everything has been burning me so thin#i keep talking down my own art now. i keep refunding clients. i honestly want to give up on everything#people tell me i do a good job but i dont see it. i dont see an artist whos worth anything right now.#i dont know if thats a phrase#i have a early morning shift tomorrow and i cant fall asleep#i want to just rest but im so restless#i dont want to put pressure on anyone besides myself bc i feel like a huge burden#if i do so#everyone else should be having a good time#so i feel like a bummer to take up their emotional space and time#i appreciate the kindness people have shown me recently#i know i work hard. but im still so broken over everything#i just havent felt like an artist since it happend#he left a bigger scar on my ego than i thought it would#and every time i voice it i feel someone is out to end me for it#but at the same time i feel completely unnoticed and unheard#i dont expect anyone to see me as me#i just feel this lump in my throat now. this weight on my hand#they say kind things but im so hurt inside i dont see it as truth right now. i dont see anything worth admiring#they say such sweet things and i want to accept them so bad because my heart needs it#but i cant help but feel the words die as they reach my ears. im just too hurt i cant see it#i cant see the truth in my work all i see is someone else's desire in their commission#as long as they are happy. as long as they are satisfied#thats all that matters#i dont feel important enough to be apart of the process anymore#i dont feel worthy as a person or artist#i just feel less than nothing and that no one will care
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
As gen-AI becomes more normalized (Chappell Roan encouraging it, grifters on the rise, young artists using it), I wanna express how I will never turn to it because it fundamentally bores me to my core. There is no reason for me to want to use gen-AI because I will never want to give up my autonomy in creating art. I never want to become reliant on an inhuman object for expression, least of all if that object is created and controlled by tech companies. I draw not because I want a drawing but because I love the process of drawing. So even in a future where everyone’s accepted it, I’m never gonna sway on this.
#personal#im still fighting it but im also a realist so I’ve accepted that this will be our future#rant#gen ai is fucking boring#I hope this doesn’t make me sound like a ‘going against the crowd. not like the rest of society’ type (it would be depressing if it did)#but yeah even in a world where it’s considered totally fine to use ai to make art I’ll still be using my bare hands#because I like it and nobody can take that from me#if you’re a young artist interested in or already using ai. just know that the thing you rely on to make art can be taken away at any point#all of it. and there’s nothing you can do about it if they decide to. it doesn’t belong to you
39K notes
·
View notes
Text
filipina miku!! my mom helped me with her outfit ^_^
#THIS TOOK ME FOREVER RAAHHHH#i had help from my mom with stuff like the parts of the traje de mestiza which is the outfit shes wearing#this trend looks so much fun and i wanted to join in.. im first gen canadian though so ive never been to the philippines and only#know thru stories of my parents growing up. im proud of my heritage but there are some things i didnt grow up with that#make me feel disconnected from my culture. so it was nice to talk to my mom abt it and ask for her help with this :3#the pleated tapis is meant to resemble her skirt.. i had no way of adding her stockings but i noticed the piano key design#so i used that for the saya. the bandana is meant to resemble her hairties and shes wearing bakya wooden slippers with embroidery#i kinda wanted to add the panuelo to resemble her tie as a finishing touch but i forgor ;w; just imagine it i guess#my mom really likes this. shes a little confused abt the blue hair and i had to explain her hair is like that but she thinks shes pretty#originally i wanted her holding the woven pamaypay and fanning herself because ITS HOT ITS 25 FUCKING DEGREES TODAY#but i couldnt get the pose right so i settled for this. i wanna draw her and brazilian miku high fiving ill do that tmrw#my art#myart#hatsune miku#miku worldwide#philippines#vocaloid#miku
64K notes
·
View notes
Text
shoutout to the guy who after unsuccessfully hitting on my sister and being politely declined asked her "is it okay if i ask your brother instead" and when she said yes gave me a long and searching look before sighing and going "no. i am not drunk enough to go for a dude. but you look like an angel" happy bisexual pride to this man and this man only. hope you figure it out soon king
#interestingly not the most harrowing thing that happened tonight no that was#getting recognized from a podcast. i hope that never happens to me again thats so fucking scary#fuck me and my wretched life why do i always end up exisiting in the public eye while detesting the consequences
79K notes
·
View notes
Text
i’ve started babysitting for a VERY christian family which is great because they pay me a lot of money but as someone who was raised almost completely agnostic it’s kind of insane. the 2 year old keeps asking me to read her stories from the bible. (why are we reading david and goliath to a 2 year old????) the 5 year old told me today that he was going to bring his legos to heaven with him. he also has repeatedly told me that the lego spaceships he builds are stronger than jesus. (not sure what to say to that. do i deny it??? are things allowed to be stronger than jesus??) had to stop myself mid sentence today because i almost told them im not going to heaven which would DEFINITELY have caused several meltdowns. they’re also both completely fascinated by my nose ring
#i also had to tell them no today because mom said no tv and they DESPERATELY wanted to watch a 4-dvd set of recorded sermons#religious children are terrifying. i do get sundays off tho so#personal
61K notes
·
View notes
Text
me and gang at the haunted house
#i haven't seen the movie yet#i just thought this image was hilarious i needed to draw it with my tails design#i lovr that dumb gay and his genius fox buddy who is also dumb but he's 8 it's fine#harv's art#art#fanart#digital art#did this one on my phone with ibispaint x instead of my usual krita so#ibispaint x#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#sonic movie#sonic movie 3#agent stone#tails the fox#miles “tails” prower#safe fur work#sfw furry#sonic fanart#sonic fandom#how tf do i tag sonic art#furry/oc artist struggling to tag fanart#fork found in kitchen#i have more polished designs coming i promise guys im serious this time#love u gang#if u saw this already no u didnt i keep posting to the wrong blog
25K notes
·
View notes
Text
pls rb if you think cuddling doesn't have to be s3xual
im tryna prove a point to my bf's mother help me out
#like im asexual its def not gonna be like that for me#but she still thinks it is soo#but like. cuddling can totally be platonic there doesnt gotta be such a fuss abt it 😭#i get her pov but c'mon#asexual#aromantic#<- for reach#edit: ...its censored because i want to btw#like. ik im in the horniest social media but i wanna censor it so i do#ik i wont get shadowbanned like in tiktok lmao#im not even in tiktok......😭#so yup i censored it for my own comfort 💯 hope this answered your questions pls shut up now lmaooo
73K notes
·
View notes
Text
73K notes
·
View notes
Text
#saw my meme featured in a carousel so i had to share it lol#wholesome#cats#the i can do this is mine btw
84K notes
·
View notes
Text
He's never happy
#atla#avatar the last airbender#zuko#katara#atla fanart#prince zuko#atla art#azula art#azula fanart#atla azula#princess azula#atla zuko#zuko art#zuko fanart#katara art#katara fanart#atla katara#katara of the southern water tribe#the gaang#atla meme#agni kai#The Last Agni Kai#sozins comet#From “I'm never happy” to “Am I happy?”#That's what I call character development#Oh Zuzu what are we going to do with you#(It's okay everyone still loves you)#(Except for Lala)#(But she's in the middle of a breakdown so it's understandable)#(She'd love you too if she was in a right place)
27K notes
·
View notes
Text
Chosen of the Wolf
#I would fight a thousand men for Mel I would do anything for her I love her so much#arcane#my art#mel medarda#league of legends#welcome to noxus#arcane season 2#arcane mel#Art#painting#arcane fanart#fanart
19K notes
·
View notes
Text
ppl were drawing mikus from all over so heres habesha miku and her lil twin sibs rin and len!!
#this trend sparked so much joy in my soul#i saw many fun cute and silly mikus#i love drawing habesha clothes but a lot of them require small detailed embroidery that makes me go insane#this is why ppl use pattern brushes cuz damn i had to simplify everything basically#also im bad at writing amharic and tigrinya oops!!#this was fun it got me outta a slump i was in all damn week#interestingly... their faces look a lot like my siblings and i? i didnt mean to do that at all tho... huh#my art#hatsune miku#kagamine rin#kagamine len#vocaloid
32K notes
·
View notes
Text
pass it on!
(ID in alt text)
#dungeon meshi#farcille#falin touden#senshi of izganda#chilchuck tims#izutsumi#laios touden#marcille donato#dungeon meshi spoilers#doodles#mine#do NOT let me take credit for the colours. it was adventure time no. 69's variant cover that found me in the depths of despair#kissed me tenderly and lifted me up. everybody say thank you riibrego#the story behind this is that when i was like 14 browsing pixiv i found fanart of vocaloid dressed as celestial bodies doing a kiss relay#and i never forgot it for one second. so let's all blow a kiss to the sands of time for that as well
39K notes
·
View notes
Text
the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
149K notes
·
View notes