#if i do so
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parallaxabomination · 9 months ago
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my brain is so full of stress it might explode. but ill do my best to keep putting out my best and stay kind to myself and others. but man, is it hard
#i wish i had something for myself rn#but i come home so exhausted i cant even focus on art#everything has been burning me so thin#i keep talking down my own art now. i keep refunding clients. i honestly want to give up on everything#people tell me i do a good job but i dont see it. i dont see an artist whos worth anything right now.#i dont know if thats a phrase#i have a early morning shift tomorrow and i cant fall asleep#i want to just rest but im so restless#i dont want to put pressure on anyone besides myself bc i feel like a huge burden#if i do so#everyone else should be having a good time#so i feel like a bummer to take up their emotional space and time#i appreciate the kindness people have shown me recently#i know i work hard. but im still so broken over everything#i just havent felt like an artist since it happend#he left a bigger scar on my ego than i thought it would#and every time i voice it i feel someone is out to end me for it#but at the same time i feel completely unnoticed and unheard#i dont expect anyone to see me as me#i just feel this lump in my throat now. this weight on my hand#they say kind things but im so hurt inside i dont see it as truth right now. i dont see anything worth admiring#they say such sweet things and i want to accept them so bad because my heart needs it#but i cant help but feel the words die as they reach my ears. im just too hurt i cant see it#i cant see the truth in my work all i see is someone else's desire in their commission#as long as they are happy. as long as they are satisfied#thats all that matters#i dont feel important enough to be apart of the process anymore#i dont feel worthy as a person or artist#i just feel less than nothing and that no one will care
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bixels · 18 days ago
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As gen-AI becomes more normalized (Chappell Roan encouraging it, grifters on the rise, young artists using it), I wanna express how I will never turn to it because it fundamentally bores me to my core. There is no reason for me to want to use gen-AI because I will never want to give up my autonomy in creating art. I never want to become reliant on an inhuman object for expression, least of all if that object is created and controlled by tech companies. I draw not because I want a drawing but because I love the process of drawing. So even in a future where everyone’s accepted it, I’m never gonna sway on this.
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puppppppppy · 5 months ago
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filipina miku!! my mom helped me with her outfit ^_^
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twinliches · 6 months ago
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shoutout to the guy who after unsuccessfully hitting on my sister and being politely declined asked her "is it okay if i ask your brother instead" and when she said yes gave me a long and searching look before sighing and going "no. i am not drunk enough to go for a dude. but you look like an angel" happy bisexual pride to this man and this man only. hope you figure it out soon king
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blueskittlesart · 6 months ago
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i’ve started babysitting for a VERY christian family which is great because they pay me a lot of money but as someone who was raised almost completely agnostic it’s kind of insane. the 2 year old keeps asking me to read her stories from the bible. (why are we reading david and goliath to a 2 year old????) the 5 year old told me today that he was going to bring his legos to heaven with him. he also has repeatedly told me that the lego spaceships he builds are stronger than jesus. (not sure what to say to that. do i deny it??? are things allowed to be stronger than jesus??) had to stop myself mid sentence today because i almost told them im not going to heaven which would DEFINITELY have caused several meltdowns. they’re also both completely fascinated by my nose ring
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rioblitzle · 2 months ago
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working retail
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bearrverine · 14 days ago
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me and gang at the haunted house
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everythingwasnormalhere · 8 months ago
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pls rb if you think cuddling doesn't have to be s3xual
im tryna prove a point to my bf's mother help me out
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lynxindisguise · 9 months ago
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teathattast · 9 months ago
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demaparbat-hp · 3 months ago
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He's never happy
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scapegods · 11 days ago
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Chosen of the Wolf
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almondpiglet · 5 months ago
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ppl were drawing mikus from all over so heres habesha miku and her lil twin sibs rin and len!!
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s-aint-elmo · 6 months ago
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pass it on!
(ID in alt text)
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butchfalin · 1 year ago
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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