#would genuinely love to build a platonic life with someone why do i have to be in love to marry someone and have a family w them 😭

[guinevereslancelot]

i am unknowable and incapable of love goodnight <3

[snoopledrooplecheesedoodle]

A Quick Pick Me Up (Yandere Neko Cafe x Reader)

Hey, ya'll, I know ya'll like my fandom work, but I promise you my OC stuff is just as good. Please read!!!!! I just felt like doing this today! Reader is gender neutral. Also YANDERE BEHAVIOR IS UNACCEPTABLE IN REAL LIFE! IT AINT CUTE, IT'S ABUSE! SEEK HELP IF YOU OR A LOVED ONE HAVE SOMEONE IN YOUR LIFE LIKE THIS!

Picture belongs to @kaffee-und-liebe

Tw: Yandere tendencies, some platonic yanderes (the kids and Cocoa), some slightly suggestive content, cursing, Donut (you'll know what I mean later), mentions of abuse, and other possibly triggering content

MINORS DNI

You live in a city that is made up of mostly apartments, that don't allow you to keep a cat much less a hybrid. Too bad because you really love cats and cat hybrids. They're just so cute with their soft ears and tails and fierce expressions. When they purr? You almost die!

Which is why you are currently vibrating in front of the newest cat cafe where you can interact with cat hybrids and cats alike. It was also really close to your apartment building, so it was meant to be. The cafe was a cute brown stone building covered in vines and flowers with a black sign that in golden letters spelled out "Lucky Kitty Cafe". You felt pretty lucky standing in front of the building right now. You took a breath and entered the building.

Ding~

A set of bells tinkled cutely as your eyes widened in amazement. The place was catastic! There were paintings of cats, a cat tree decorated with potted plants, chairs with little cat ears on the back, and much more. A strange looking person with a long and thin face and vitiligo and mysterious blue green colored eyes looked up with a friendly smile. They wore head scarf with a hat with cat ears on top and a beige shirt with caramel accents.

"Welcome to Lucky Kitty Cafe, I'm Shopkeeper, are you here to see our cats and cat hybrids?" Their voice was a soothing androgynous voice. They were pretty hot not going to lie. "Yes, I'm here to see the cats!" "Wonderful~" Shopkeeper purred as they grabbed a pen and paper. "Would you like anything to eat or drink while you wait?" You smile gleefully at Shopkeeper and nod. "I'll have (cafe order) please." Shopkeeper jotted your order down and nodded. "Good taste, we'll have that order out right away for you Mx..."

"(Y/N)"

Mx. (Y/N) what a beautiful name...I can tell the staff will just love you~

For the privacy of our staff, they have been assigned names of popular cafe drinks and snacks. Their personalities our meant to cater to our wide clientele. Please take not of the following rules:

Rule 1.: Do not pick up cats

Rule 2: No pulling tails and ears of cats or staff

Rule 3: Harassment of any kind towards our cats, staff, or other customers will get you sent straight to Butch

Rule 4: Our staff are playing a role to increase your enjoyment of the cafe. The way they act in the cafe does not necessarily constitute how they act outside of the cafe.

Rule 5: Buy at least one item on the menu, this is a business after all

Rule 6: DON'T MESS WITH OUR DARLING 

Meet Our Staff

Macchiato:

Macchiato or Macchi is the unofficial mascot of "Lucky Kitty Cafe" she is a calico hybrid who is the sweetest person around. Her cheerful and bright attitude will brighten up even the grumpiest of people's days. She always is the first to greet new customers.

You were stunned when the tritone beauty perched herself directly on your lap, her orange eyes shining brightly as she bounced up and down barraging you with questions.

She was so excited to see a cute new face around the establishment! Your hands were so gentle as you pet her soft ears. She didn't feel the slightest bit of shame letting you know how much she enjoyed it with her loud purring. When your food and drink came you offered to share some with her.

With her?

She almost fell in love right then and there, no one ever offered to share their food with her in such a genuine way. The food was some of the best she ever had since she got to share it with you. She couldn't help but laugh as you gushed over the cats, you were more adorable than anyone here!

She's probably the first to go yandere, she can't help it when your sweeter than the sugary treats Shopkeeper bakes. She is one clingy motherfucker, so she'll always have some body part of yours close to her. She will also insert herself in any interaction you have with others in the cafe or outside. Don't ask her why she's here just pet her pretty tritone hair!

She wants to be the only hybrid in your life which means you may wake up with her snuggled into your arms blinking those sunset orbs at you cutely.

"Morning (N/n)! Did you sleep well? I know I did~

Collects any trash you leave behind. Dirty napkins? Now hers. Straws? She's wrapping her tongue around while thinking indecent thoughts. Lost your cute keychain? Well good luck ever finding it again because now it's a part of her shrine to you.

Don't let her cute face fool you, she will do whatever it takes to ensure that you are hers.

"(N/n) left their Chapstick here. Mmm (N/n) it's like sharing an indirect kiss with you~"

Espresso:

Meet the cafe's very own black cat Espresso. He is very quiet and aloof at first. Most people never interact with him as he will leave when people attempt to start a conversation with him. No one understands why Espresso even took a job here as he's clearly not a people hybrid.

He is no doubt one of the most handsome hybrids most people see. Beautiful dark skin and long dreadlocks accompanied with silky black ears and tail and intelligent brown eyes. His voice is very deep and mellow much like a good espresso.

He is a cat magnet as even the shyest cats can be found purring contently on his lap. He lets them hang around him as he sketches pictures of the cafe.

"You're a really good artist"

Espresso jerks at the sudden sound of your voice, how did you manage to sneak up on him? He froze as every impulse in him was confused on how to react. Run away? Thank you? Let you sit down with him? It's clear to you that the Windows shut down noise is taking place in his head right now.

"I'm sorry for startling you, I'll be on my way now."

It didn't take long for other cats and Macchi to distract you, but Espresso couldn't get the interaction out of his head. Yes, you scared him, but you didn't pressure him into conversation. You simply complimented his art before leaving.

Why did a small part of him wish you stayed?

In order for him to go yandere for you, you have to let him approach you in his own time. You must be patient as Espresso isn't used to engaging with customers like the other staff are. He is probably the last if not close to last who go yandere for you, which means you'll have an ally for when the others get too touchy.

He is very aware that the feelings that he is developing aren't the healthiest, so he tries to keep his feelings to himself. He adores your calming presence and how you can bring out the best in anybody. He begins subconsciously drawing you more and more in different scenarios. Most relatively innocent but there are enough indulgent sketches that he doesn't allow you to look through his sketch book without him supervising.

However, jealousy begins to gnaw at his gut when he sees you interacting with the others. When did Butch get so protective of you? Why do you hang around that bastard Donut? Why can't he have you all to himself? He starts to use the trust that you've built towards him to convince you to spend less time with the others. Besides that, he's one of the most harmless yanderes on this list.

"Oh, you're here, did the others smother you too much? They won't bother as long as you stay with me my muse."

Donut:

Oh boy, you got this gremlin's attention, you really are too sweet for your own good, aren't you? Donut is an orange Munchkin cat hybrid and the shortest adult of the staff (the kids are platonic yandere for you). The definition of short guy syndrome but he hides it behind a cute facade. He lays it on thick for customers to give him fat tips (get you mind out of the gutter). A little bat of the eyelash here and a flirty wink there and everyone is eating out of the palm of his hand.

"Oh, a new customer, it's so nice to meet you I'm Donut~"

"Nice to meet you Donut."

"Hee hee, do you mind if I sit on your lap?"

He plops himself on your lap and starts not so subtly grinding on you which makes you very uncomfortable, you just met this guy. Plus, this is not the place for finding a random hookup. You push him off your lap and tell him that his actions made you uncomfortable. Donut begins boiling inside. You ungrateful bitch! How dare you turn him down! Him! HIM!!!! He yells in frustration later in the empty break room. Why were you being so rude when he was just being nice? (No dude that's sexual harassment) He's made it his personal mission to seduce you and then when you fall for him laugh in your face.

Donut turns up the clueless and the sexiness up by a hundred and ten percent. He wears extra skimpy and tight-fitting shorts and skirts (with lacey panties and/or thongs) as well as unbuttoning half the buttons on his pastel pink shirt, showing you his surprisingly defined chest. He skips around with an innocent grin, only for his actions to be ignored. You evil SLUT, how dare you pretend to not see what he's doing? He should teach you to be grateful and get down on your knees like a good whore does. He ignores all the other customers in favor of hatefully glaring at you from the corner.

He follows you out of the cafe and drags you into an alley nearby pinning you to the wall (he's actually deceptively strong). He screams all of the feelings he's been bottling up towards you with tears in his eyes. You stand still for a moment unsure of what to do and then you feel him go limp. Okay this is super awkward, the guy in front of you went on a nice guy spiel and then passed out. Unfortunately, you have some morality and decide not to leave him out here when your apartment is right across the street. You scoop him up and walk to your apartment (he's really light).

Donut wakes up in a stranger's bed and thinks he took his anger out by sleeping with some rando for a quick ego boost. However, he sees you coming into the room with a plate of breakfast and set it right in front of him. Why was he at your place? You explained what happened and Donut is very embarrassed, he can't believe he was vulnerable with the person he despises with all his heart. He prepares for you to mock him cruelly, but instead you treat him with the kindness he'd never show for you. Why are you such a mature person? It makes him so mad that he starts blushing, his heart starts pumping... did you always look so handsome?

Uh oh

Donut goes from being horrible to you to being the most delusional being on the planet. You treated him with kindness, which must mean you love him and much as he loves you. He does the cute act except this time its genuine and less sexual (he learned boundaries for you so be grateful (don't he still sucks)). However, he doesn't afford the same luxury to others. He sees the way others look at you and he doesn't like it one bit. He is cruel and sadistic towards rivals all while acting like an absolute angel towards you.

"Welcome home darling! How did I get in your apartment? You invited me here silly, now come and snuggle with your one and only~"

Sugar:

Sugar is a complete MILF looking like a golden age Hollywood actress in her work uniform. She is a Turkish Angora hybrid with gorgeous long white hair plated in victory curls and bewitching heterochromic eyes (left brown and right blue with a beauty mark under the left one). Sugar was a show hybrid like her mother before her but had to leave when she became pregnant with a stray hybrid's kittens. She is very gentle and motherly with an elegant femme fatale aura to her. Sugar is considered second in command to Shopkeeper and very respected for her age and wisdom (she's in her early to mid-forties because we love older women here).

Popular with old and young alike, you were starstruck when the snow-haired beauty and spoke to you with her lightly accented voice (she's Turkish). You felt completely comfortable with Sugar and were able to get some sound financial advice from her, as Sugar knew what it was like to be young and struggling to pay bills.

"Remember that charity is no only an act of generosity but also tax deductible."

"Yes mommy."

"What?"

"What?"

She found your slight crush on her adorable as it was flattering for younger people to find her attractive. However, she didn't want to have to parent her partner as well as her twins. She doesn't immediately go yandere nor is she the slowest to go yandere for you. This feeling changed when she saw how well you got along with Cookie and Muffin (her twins). You were able to get them to listen to you as well as break up their fights which was a feat that very few outside herself could do. Color her impressed.

"Mommy is (Y/N) our new parent?"

"Now kids we need to be tactical about this-"

"They helped find a crying child's parents."

"Cookie, Muffin, say hello to your new stepparent."

Very few younger people and hybrids knew the subtle art of seduction like Sugar did, which she believes gives her advantage compared to the others. She doesn't constantly badger you for your time like Macchiato, Donut, and Cappuccino do (she's only truly worried about the romantic rivals but Cocoa is on thin ice sometimes). Nor does she play it too subtle like Espresso and Croissant do. She invites you to "platonic" dates out with her and her children to parks and restaurants. She also will subtly touch you whether it be smoothing wrinkles on your outfit or giving you chaste kiss on the cheek (she says she greets everyone that way, but you have yet to see that). She knows she attractive and how to flirt in a way that makes you blush but not uncomfortable.

She's seen the cruelties of the world and hopes that you won't have to go through have the horrors she's faced. The world isn't very kind to single moms, especially older single moms. She wants you to be happy and safe in her home, as a cute little stay at home spouse. Let her do all the hard work outside while you stay home and do some work inside (she won't let you strain yourself though). She also is a doting and spoiling yandere. She's very generous and giving towards you (even in bed) and will have all your desires met except leaving.

She's a master manipulator and will use her children as a way to get you to consider staying with her. They love you so much, you wouldn't break their hearts, right? (the kids are also manipulative little shits as well) The only people she would consider sharing (this is only in dire situations) you with is Shopkeeper and maybe Bruce. Besides that, she won't rest until you are snuggled into her chest in the bed you share.

"(Y/N) let's go out again, the kids love hanging out with you dear and I wouldn't want to disappoint them. You will, wonderful!"

Cookie and Muffin: 

Meet the mischievous mixed breeds who work occasionally beside their mother. Cookie and Muffin are loved dearly by kids their age and lonely older patrons. They love sweets and messing with member of the staff they don't like (Donut and Cappuccino mostly) with very intricate pranks. They aren't always there and met you by chance as their mother had to pick them up early from school (Muffin and Cookie can get violent with each other and the only one who can break them up is momma Sugar). Muffin is the girl with short gray hair with a single white streak and Cookie is the boy with long white hair with a single gray streak.

They saw you playing with the kittens and wanted to play too! You rough house with the twins and don't get mad when Muffin bites you a bit too hard (kitten hybrid teeth are sharp). Cookie got jealous that you are paying more attention to Muffin and the two started fighting. Normally no one is brave enough to break the twins apart from each other, but you bravely stand between them enduring multiple scratches until they stopped.

They can't believe they hurt their new playmate; their mom is going to kill them. Both start crying while apologizing profusely for hurting you. Instead of yelling at them you scratch their ears gently and tell them it's okay. Your touch is just as calming as their mother's, wait why did you stop? Keep petting them please!

They're kids so they go yandere pretty quickly as they aren't romantic interests, and you sneak them pastries you bought (much to Sugar's dismay). Both are always trying to monopolize your time and will scratch and bite any staff or customer who interrupts their "(Y/N) Time". When their mom starts having a romantic interest in you, they're ecstatic, you get to become their new parent. While they are kids, they aren't dumb as they notice other staff members looking at you the same way that their mom does. They won't let just anyone marry you, only mommy can (they can't wait to call you their baba*)!

Their pranks become almost deadly in nature towards rivals of their mom. They never get in trouble for almost killing the delivery guy because they're just kids, what do you expect? Also inherit the manipulative trait from their mother. Oh no their babysitter mysteriously quit! Could you watch them? You come over only to find that it was an elaborate ruse done by the twins, so you have family movie night with them and Sugar (they "fall asleep" on you so you're forced to spend the night). Mommy is sad because she remembered how daddy left them. Could you cheer her up?

They aren't too dangerous yanderes besides the semi deadly pranks, but they aren't to be underestimated because they're children. They want a happy family with their favorite playmate, and they'll do anything they can to get it.

"(Y/N), Muffin pulled on my hair!" "Not before Cookie bit my finger!"

"Baba don't leave!" "Yeah, we'll stop fighting as long as you're here!"

Croissant:

Ah the intelligentsia of the cafe, its own certified genius Croissant. Croissant is a lover of reading, fine art, and playing his beloved cello. He brings with him a refined aura and a thirst for knowledge. He's a blonde American Curl who always wears his beloved red scarf, even indoors. He has semi long curly blond hair in a mullet and the prettiest hazel eyes. He's got freckles that he hides with makeup. He is popular with mainly older people who enjoy engaging in discourse with him on a wide variety of subjects. He also helps tutor kids occasionally in the cafe's break room.

Croissant saw you sitting in the corner reading a book while sipping on (beverage of choice), the book you were reading happened to be one he knew about. He asked if you were enjoying the book, which caused your eyes to light up. You began to ramble to him about the book you were reading which Croissant found very adorable. Finally, he found someone that had a similar interest to him.

The two of you begin to have a routine where you would have interesting conversations about your individual interests, where each one of you would come out learning more about each other. Croissant started noticing little things about you, like how one dimple is bigger than the other when you smile, or that your nose scrunches up when you're confused. That's totally a normal thing to notice about your friend, right?

Right?

Croissant is one of the last to go yandere but goes yandere before Espresso and Butch. I mean how could anyone resist your charms forever? You never are rude or demeaning like the jealous fools in his graduate classes. You actually listen with wide eyed interest and treating him like a regular person instead of something to be revered or despised made him fall deeper into his obsession with you.

Croissant will find any way to spend more time with you. You trying to go to graduate school? He can help you study! Applying for a job? Why not work here? Other work environments won't value you the way "Lucky Kitty Cafe" would value you. So, what if you're human, Shopkeeper is human too (are they though?)! Don't even worry about filling out a resume a good word from Croissant and you'll have the job by tomorrow (even if you don't want to work there you will end up working there if Croissant has something to say about it).

Croissant never values anyone's opinion on him before, but he reveres your opinion above his own. Prefer red heads? Guess who's dying his hair? Hate his curled ears? He suddenly prefers wearing hats indoors. He can become very unstable fast so try to reassure him with love and affection. Or else no one will be able to stop the fall out. He's one hell of a stalker since he wants to know that you are okay, and no one is hurting you. Keeps extensive lists of things you like and plans for the future home the two of you will buy that is far away from this city and its impure influences.

"Ah Mx. (L/N) it's a pleasure to see you today. Care to pick up our conversation from where we left off yesterday?"

Cocoa:

Cocoa is a spunky freshly high school graduated college student who is working at the "Lucky Kitty Cafe" as a waitress for some extra money to pay for campus expenses. Cocoa is a Burmese with gigantic coke bottle glasses (she's extremely far sighted) and puffy space buns. She is popular with the teens and young adults who frequent the restaurant for her cute fashion sense and her sassy attitude.

She first met you when she spilled hot coffee all over you. The one day she forgets to wear her glasses! She immediately rushes you to the employee bathroom and apologizes profusely as she sprays cold water over the burn and begins to cry. She never meant to hurt anyone, and she may even get fired for injuring another customer (first time was no accident). You were fine thankfully but the guilt still ate away at Cocoa. She decided to spend time with you as payment and even pay for your meal. You laugh at Cocoa's guilt-ridden sad puppy eyes and compliment her nails. She immediately forgets her guilt and babbles about the cute new nail salon you should try. OMG you two should totally become BFFs!

Cocoa isn't immediately yandere and is like Sugar somewhere in the middle but further towards the immediate side. She's just hanging out with her new bestie! However, her tail bristles when she sees Macchi looping her arm around your waist, or the way that Donut coos at you while trying to feed you the cafe's newest dessert. Can't these two find their own BFFs, your hers. Great now Cappuccino is sleeping with their head in your lap! She snaps and screams at the other hybrid to leave you the hell alone, scaring many nearby cats. You tell Cocoa to calm down and that you're okay with Cappuccino doing this. What the fuck? How could you?!

After taking a second to calm down, Cocoa had to figure out why she was so worked up about you having other friends. It's good for you to have other friends...so why does it leave a bitter taste in her mouth. She doesn't hate the idea of you having friends, she just needs to be your BEST FRIEND!

Cocoa is one monopolizing and clingy girl. You have planned this weekend? Great now you can throw them out because Cocoa is taking you shopping to a cool new vintage store down the road, ooh and you can have boba tea afterwards! She bats away Macchi, Donut, and Cappuccino to have some time with her bestie, they aren't invited! She also believes as your best friend (she'll get rid of anyone who tries and replace her) she gets to pick who your future spouse is, and she is overly critical towards everyone in the cafe. No one is good enough for her bestie! She might put in a good word for the others... if they forfeit their time with you for the day (she's evil like that >:)).

Cocoa also is the type to try and hang out with you outside of the cafe by "coincidence". Oh, my what a coincidence that you both were at the supermarket at the same time looking for...mangos. Man, she loves mangos (she hates mangos)! Anyways, she found this really cute spa where they use sweet, scented bath bombs in the soak tub. Don't worry she'll pay! She also will totally snitch if she sees others trailing you (like she wasn't also stalking you) to make you like her more. Oh my god Croissant is totally following you, guess he isn't the gentleman he claims to be. What's she doing here? Don't worry about that, let's go rollar skating!

"(N/n) look there's 50% off matching sets of pajamas! Let's totally get some and have a sleep over together!"

Matcha:

You like em weird. Like really weird. Matcha is one strange hybrid. They are a Russian Blue with long bangs that cover their intense steel blue eyes. They have a couple streaks of light green in their gray blue hair. Their extremely pretty as they have a pale complexion and are lithe but when they open their mouth customers walk away in discomfort. As a result, Shopkeeper has them in the back most of the day and only really lets them come out before opening and after closing. They will be the one of the last yandere's you'll probably meet.

You were helping Shopkeeper with cleaning up after an intense day at the cafe, after all they let you stay in the comfiest table for hours after you purchased food. As well as staying after closing to feed the kitties. You also may or may not have been lured by Shopkeeper's promise of being able to take some of the leftover pastries home. Whatever your reason you were helping Shopkeeper, when Shopkeeper left to take a phone call outside. You smiled to yourself as you hummed a tune while cleaning up. You started actually singing when you heard a crash coming from the kitchen area. Strange you don't remember anyone being in the store besides you and Shopkeeper. Curiosity got the better of you and you decided to sneak a peek at whatever creature was in the kitchen.

You peer into the dark kitchen to find a skinny person holding a bent-up pan and an explosion of red all over the floor and all over the person.

"Oh, don't worry this isn't blood."

You proceeded to sock the stranger in the face and run to find Shopkeeper.

"There's a strange person with bluish hair covered in god knows what in your kitchen!"

"Oh that's Matcha."

"Who?!"

After an in-depth explanation of why this person you never saw before was standing in front of you covered in strawberry jam (they like to be one with the fruit) you were introduced to Matcha. A hybrid who smells like and probably eats dirt, an acquired taste for most (both dirt and Matcha). You apologized for punching them in the face to which they grinned and told you they like how your fist felt on their face. Okay a little strange but Shopkeeper wouldn't hire a literal serial killer, right?

You don't even know anymore

Obsessed from the minute your fist made contact with their face. Not quite yandere but interested in the reactions you make (and the pain you can give them). They actually gain romantic interest towards you slower than you think, give or take two days. You saw the large cut on their arm and helped them patch it up, it was from that moment that they planned your entire wedding in their head.

Is terrible at stalking but does it in hopes of being caught and you berating them for it (thinks it's sexy when you're mad). Fights Macchi for the things you leave behind and is found sniffing the seat where you were sitting. Is the definition of worshipper yandere as they truly believe you are a deity, and they are your acolyte. They don't care if you hate them or want them dead, as long as they can be by your side that's all that matters.

Being your acolyte also means they will do anything you ask with zeal. It doesn't matter if it's highly illegal as going to jail in your stead would be a blessing. They just love you so much that it consumes their very being. They're willing to share you with others (as long as they can watch) as long as you still let them stay by your side too.

"Hit me, stab me, choke me, leave me to die. Any act done by your hands is a blessing and a pleasure for me~"

Shopkeeper:

You got the big cheese's attention, the owner of the cafe, the mysterious Shopkeeper. Shopkeeper is alluring in an inhuman way with their sharp blue green eyes and charming androgynous voice. They loved the smile you gave them the first time you came in, what an adorable face. They also loved the face you made when you took a bite of the food you ordered, that blissed-out look is just too cute.

"Excuse me did you make this pastry?"

"Oh, why yes I did, it happens to be a family recipe."

"You're so talented, that was the best (pastry of choice) I every ate!"

Normally compliments don't faze Shopkeeper they'd reply with a nod and a polite thank you. However, you seemed so genuine and the way your eyes sparkled made something melt inside of Shopkeeper. You would surely become one of their favorite customers.

Shopkeeper is very hard to read so it can be difficult to tell when they go yandere for you. Their actions can be seen as purely platonic or as their attempt to flirt with you. They always make sure your favorite sweets are freshly made when you arrive to the cafe, they have the time you arrive memorized. If you don't like sweets, they always have something savory and tasty prepared to your liking. Keeps track of your food preferences and allergies when coming up with new items for the menu, so you can taste test them.

"I was thinking of adding this to the menu tell me how it tastes?"

"Is it necessary for you to feed me?"

"Absolutely."

One thing is for sure when they do fall for you, they begin to plan how to make you entirely theirs. Shopkeeper knows how their staff have taken a liking to you, and they don't feel like sharing (may have an easier time with the more submissive/guilt ridden ones like Matcha and Butch). They use their sweet words and actions to guide you in the right direction (right into their arms). They also aren't afraid to take care of rivals that come from outside of the cafe.

"Oh, why is there blood on my face? Just a little problem in the kitchen that's all."

Cappuccino:

Cappuccino is the Ragdoll of the group, a mellow, sleepy person. They are perfect cuddle shape with their chubby body and their big fluffy ears, hair, and tail. They are almost always asleep yet one of the most popular hybrids at the cafe for how cute and calm they are. They don't often choose who they fall asleep on, so they might have accidently fallen asleep on you.

"Oh, I fell asleep but not on a pillow."

"Hey, Cappuccino, right? I need to get to work so could you kindly..."

"Zzzzzz"

Cappuccino is pretty big both tall and chubby (because tall people can also be chubby/fat and beautiful) so it's hard to move them when they sleep, which is too bad for you since Cappuccino has decided you are their new favorite pillow. They always find you in what you're doing and force you to let them cuddle with you. After all, why cuddle with a cat now that you have Cappuccino?

"Cappuccino what are you doing in my house?"

"Ugh you're being to noisy be quiet, pillows don't talk."

"GET OUT!"

Cappuccino goes yandere for you pretty quick, but you wouldn't notice as Cappuccino is too lazy to do anything about these feelings beside scent you constantly when you cuddle. Cappuccino is clingy in the sense that they can't get good sleep unless they're clinging to you. You may have places to be, but Cappuccino is sleeping right now so you won't be going anywhere. They're adorable and they know it, so they use this to make you stay longer too. One sleepy look from those big droopy blue eyes and you are staying a lot longer than you intended. Isn't willing to pick fights with Donut, Macchi, or Cocoa, but is willing to make it out like they are bullying them.

"You shouldn't hang out with people who treat others bad (Y/N), you know I never would (they totally would)."

Their apathy is one of the scariest traits they have, they may be lazy, but they use their cuteness to get crazed fans to get rid of the competition. They are not above getting rid of others at the cafe because they don't care about the people around them. Cappuccino is also very strong as when they aren't sleeping, they are at the gym, so if they feel motivated enough, they can bash some heads in. Cappuccino only cares about you, so don't make them do anything that you may regret.

"Oh (Y/N) sorry for humping you, I was having a very...intense dream."

Butch:

Enter the devoted guard dog of the cafe Butch. The Pitbull hybrid is the tallest and strongest of the cafe and doesn't let anyone harass the Shopkeeper and staff. He sent you a threatening glare with his scared face when you arrived. He didn't know you and he hated humans for all the scars they gave him. You smiled at him and walked away. Tch, stupid human.

One by one all the hybrids fell for your charms (platonic ones are platonically in love with you) and it made Butch's blood boil. Why couldn't you be satisfied with just being a patron? Why did Shopkeeper look at you that way? Butch had a crush on Shopkeeper for saving him from his horrible life yet never had the courage to approach them. He saw the looks Shopkeeper gave you and it made him angry. He was going to confront you when he saw the scene with Donut occur. He saw the look of fear and worry on your face as you carried Donut gently to your apartment. He saw how you treated Cocoa and the twins as well as Matcha. You didn't have anything to get out of this so why do it?

His answer was given the night an old competitor from the fighting ring came at him with the intention to kill. He managed to kill the guy before he was killed but he was severely injured. He heard footsteps approach him head and he looked up to see you. You kept him awake long enough for the paramedics to arrive and take him to the hospital. The look of worry in your eyes is genuine and your smile of relief reminds him of the smile that Shopkeeper gave him that day they saved him (he's got a thing for nonbinary baddies). Your smile however was less calculated and more genuine.

Badump

Badump

Butch is the last to go yandere because Butch feels guilty. Guilty for hating you when you showed him nothing but kindness, guilty for betraying Shopkeeper like that and guilty for wanting to lock you away where no one but himself can see you. He is one overprotective and loyal pooch, who will protect you until his final breath. Good people don't deserve to face the cruelties a monster like him faced.

The most likely to be poly with you and Shopkeeper as he still holds feelings for Shopkeeper and they're both obsessed with you. You won't want for anything as he holds you in his muscular arms with his head buried in your neck to muffle the sobs.

"Please forgive me for being selfish, you're the only good thing I've got."

*Baba is the gender-neutral affectionate term for parent like mama and papa.

Sorry if it's bad towards the end, I rushed towards Cappuccino and Butch. Please feel free to request scenarios for the new ocs I dropped. ONLY PLATONIC FOR COCOA AND THE TWINS BUT EITHER ROMANTIC OR PLATONIC FOR EVERYONE ELSE.

[pippin-katz]

“We knew that if Taylor and Nick didn’t feel safe, we would never have gotten that scene out of them.”

I've reread this interview a couple times, and the last sentence hit me differently. My entire chest expanded. I’ve been blabbering on and on about Taylor and Nicholas having to do intimate choreography, and it still blows me away that they did, but that comment is so sweet.

They felt safe. They felt safe with each other. They felt safe with Matthew and Robbie. They were able to perform the most beautiful and romantic sex scene I’ve ever witnessed because they felt safe.

I can't stress the use of the word "safe" enough.

It's impossible to know what they were thinking while filming, but I can imagine that they occasionally got those instinctive nerves, but they were able to keep filming because they trusted each other that much. They could think to themselves: "he's got me".

That is the sweetest, most wholesome thing ever.

Nicholas and Taylor are such close friends and care so much about each other that they're able to do this kind of scene. They know the other would never do anything to make them uncomfortable. They have to be completely vulnerable, but they're okay with that because they trust each other that much. That is such an incredible friendship, and a truly special bond.

It also occurred to me that that trust and safety they felt is probably part of why it feels as intimate as it does. The point of the scene is to show how far Alex and Henry have come in their relationship that they trust each other to do that.

Henry’s unable to “belong to someone else” except for a moment, and he has fallen so in love and trusts Alex so much to give himself to him in literally the most intimate way possible, even if it’s temporary. Alex has never done any of this before, considering he hadn’t truly considered his bisexuality before Henry, and obviously hasn’t had this kind of sex, but he feels comfortable enough with Henry to tell him that he’s nervous and trusts Henry will make sure everything goes right. I mean Henry literally says “trust me, you’re in good hands”, and Alex does.

Trust and safety is literally part of the characters' journeys in that scene. Nick and Taylor's real life trust in each other can provide a genuine base to build off of for Alex and Henry's.

God I wish they could do interviews, I want to hear them talk about it more (if they’re willing). They talked about it somewhat in the pre-conducted interviews, but not to the extent Matthew is in this. Obviously they don’t have to if they’re not comfortable sharing though.

I think this makes me feel so much because I'm personally demisexual and demiromantic, so emotional bonds are very important to me, in general. It's my heart's desire to find someone to love and trust that much, platonically and/or romantically.

PS: Just to be absolutely clear, this is not about shipping Nick and Taylor!! I'm just gushing about their bond with each other! I'm not trying to imply they are romantically involved in any way!

Thanks for reading!! If you enjoyed this essay & would like to support me, you can give me a tip on my Ko-Fi! ☺️

[polkadotpenguin16]

The Five Stages of Grief: Denial

Pairing: Sonny Carisi x female reader

Tags: more angst; language

Word count: 1,871

Previous parts: Prologue

You went from crying on your bathroom floor to your best friend’s kitchen. Floors seemed to be the best place for a mental breakdown. Your friend wasn’t much of a drinker, but she did have a couple boxes of white wine meant for cooking. She said this was a much better use.

It did the trick.

You couldn’t believe you just walked away from Sonny like that. But you felt like you had no other options. You’ve spent far too long in relationships, both romantic and platonic, being someone’s second choice. Waiting for them to choose you. You couldn’t do it again.

“And he just stood there trying to explain why he just HAD to help AMANDA tonight.” You were retelling the night’s events, a little tipsy from the shitty wine. “How could he think that was okay? Spending all night at some other woman’s house?! How can someone be so smart, and so cute, and so…fucking stupid?”

“Probably all that hair gel,” she suggested nonchalantly. “Too thick to let any commonsense in.”

That made you snort through your nose. She was always good at making heavy situations feel lighter.

“I’m really sorry, girlfriend. You deserve better.” She tenderly rubbed your shoulder, trying to soothe your broken heart. “But you know Sonny. He’s a little…thick…but he’s got a big heart. He just wants to help everyone. That’s why you fell in love with him, remember? Sonny the Superman?”

“Whatever.” You took another swig from the box. “It’s probably better this way.”

“Hey, now, you don’t mean that—”

“I DO mean that! I was never good enough for him!” You were getting animated, spilling wine everywhere. “You’re right—he’s Superman. He needs to be with somebody just as super. Someone he can fight crimes with. Or talk about his lawyer-y stuff with who actually understands him. I mean, who knows what the hell he’s talking about? He should come with a translator. And build a perfect life with them. Y’know, the two-and-a-half kids, a dog, and the white picket fence and shit!”

You started crying again. How did you have any tears left? “He deserves the best. And she’s it! Hell, he’s probably been in love with her since they met. Why he settled for a nobody like me in the first place, I’ll never know. I’m no superhero. My power is organizing spreadsheets and tripping over my own feet. He could have Wonder Woman. Why would he want to be stuck with…whoever the fuck Superman’s lame girlfriend is!”

Your friend was quiet, letting you vent and trying to find the right words. “I know it seems that way right now.” She softens her voice, forcing you to listen more intently to hear her. “That this is all doom and gloom. Just give it time. Have some grace. His love is genuine, and he never considered it settling. You’ll work everything out.”

Resting your head against the refrigerator, you sighed. “I don’t think this can be fixed, girl. Maybe…maybe it shouldn’t be.”

She leaned in for a hug, wrapping you tightly in her embrace. You sob into her shoulder, deeply leaning into her for support. You sat silently for a while, the same thought echoing over and over in your mind.

Maybe it’s better this way…

Sonny was brought out of his trance by his alarm buzzing. He hadn’t slept at all. He just kept replaying what happened last night. It was in crystal clear high-definition in his head. How heartbroken you were. How hurt you were.

Then you just disappeared.

He hoped you’d text him when you got to your friend’s place like he asked. For his peace of mind and a sign that you didn’t completely hate him. Anxiously staring at his phone for much longer than he knew it would take you to get there, it felt like his heart was going to erupt from his chest. The list of horrific things that could’ve happened to you was getting too long. Desperate, Sonny texted your friend. He just had to know where you were. It wasn’t until after 2 in the morning that he got a reply.

Yeah she’s here.

Well, at least he knew you were safe. Still uneasy, he dared to ask if you were okay. Deep down, he already knew the answer, and it was reinforced by her response.

You think she’d be here if she was okay? Give her some time. When she’s ready, you better fix this mess you made.

This disconnect was torturing him. He wanted to fix things now. But your friend was right. He resigned himself to waiting until you came back later.

He tries his best to put himself together and heads to the precinct. Dragging his feet, he stumbled into the bullpen.

“You get hit by a bus on the way?” Rollins immediately noticed his haggard appearance. “You look like crap.”

“Good morning to you, too,” he muttered sitting at his desk, head in his hands, trying to collect himself.

“What, your girlfriend kick you out or something?” Fin joked from his seat.

“Actually, she left last night.”

“Wait, really?” Rollins was surprised to hear this. He made the two of you sound like a fairytale love story. You were his favorite topic and would bring you up in every conversation he could. She wondered what could have changed.

Fin glared at him suspiciously. “Whaddya do?”

Sonny took a deep breath. “I, uh, forgot about our date last night, and I, sorta…stood her up.” He was mentally kicking himself for being such a moron. The guilt made his stomach churn and his head throb.

“Dude...” Fin sat back in his chair and leered.

“I know, I know. I was helping Rollins, and I just—I spaced it. She packed a bag and went to stay with her friend.”

“That’s a bit of an overreaction, don’t you think?” Rollins tilted her head back and forth as she weighed out his actions. “But I get why she’d be upset. You should’ve told me you had plans, Carisi.”

Sonny buried his face deeper into his hands, feeling even guiltier.

“Stood her up? She ain’t ever gonna forget that, man,’” Fin remarked, rubbing salt into his wounds.

“But it’s gonna be fine.” Sonny sat up with a newfound determination. “We’ll talk tonight when she gets back. I’ll beg for forgiveness, and it’ll all work out.”

Rollins looked at him skeptically. “You sure about that?”

“Of course, I’m sure!” He huffed, astonished she would even ask. “Couples fight, it’s natural. They kiss, they make up, and things go back to how they were.”

“Most fights don’t include the girl leaving in the middle of the night,” Fin pointed out.

“She just—she needed some time to cool down.” You’ve always been able to resolve your arguments. They’d never been this intense before, but Sonny was confident this was all going to blow over. “She’s gonna come home and we’ll talk. I’m gonna fix this, and this will all have been a horrible dream.”

“If you say so.” Sounding unconvinced, she returned to her laptop.

Luckily, it was a slow day at the station. A rarity as of late. Sonny busted his hump finishing all his paperwork so he could ask Benson if he could head out early.

“Leaving so soon?” Rollins questioned as he put on his coat.

“Gotta run to the store and grab some things for dinner. I want everything to be perfect when she gets back.”

“I’d be picking up some flowers if I were you,” Fin advised as he sipped his coffee.

“That too—the whole nine yards.”

“Well, best of luck to you,” she hollered as he sprinted toward the elevator.

He went to the store and picked up everything to make chicken marsala. It was the first dish he ever cooked for you. He bought extra ingredients so he would have enough leftovers for you to have lunch for work tomorrow.

He swung by the flower stand to pick up a bouquet of sunflowers—your favorites. He planned out his apology in his head on the way back. Thinking of all the ways he messed up and how he would rectify them.

When he got home, he called out to you, but didn’t hear a response. Setting the bags down, he looked around the apartment to see that you weren’t home yet. Concerned, he checked his watch. It was a little early. You were probably still at work. He unpacked the groceries and started preparing dinner.

After washing the produce and still no sign of you, worry started to creep in. He knew you needed some space last night, but surely, you’d come back soon. He was positive you missed him as much as he missed you. So, he decided to send you a text.

Hey doll, what time are you coming home? Getting dinner on the stove and want it to be ready when you get back.

There was no answer. Five minutes turned into ten. He chopped up the mushrooms and garlic and let them sauté in the pan before checking his phone. There was still nothing. He opened a bottle of beer to help settle his nerves. It was half-way gone when he checked again.

Still, nothing.

Not wanting to panic yet, he texted you again.

I’m sorry about last night. I really need to talk to you. I miss you.

Several more minutes passed. He could see the messages labeled as “read” on his phone. You just weren’t responding. Skipping past panic and going into full-blown hysteria, he fumbled with his phone trying to call you. He paced around the kitchen anxiously while listening to the phone ring.

Once. Twice. Three times.

He heard the call pick up after the fourth ring. But he couldn’t hear anyone on the other end. “Doll?” He asked hesitantly, wondering if you had actually answered.

He barely heard a whisper, “…yes…”

“Doll, are you okay?! When are you coming home?” He was frantic, talking a mile a minute. “Please come back! I’m really sorry and have to talk to you—I need to explain. We’ve gotta work this out. Just please—I need you to come home!”

You silently wept while listening to him ramble. You wanted to believe this could all be fixed, but your heart was telling you it would be futile. The cycle would just continue. What would happen the next time someone else needed him? Would you be enough?

“I’m sorry…” You were barely able to get your words out. “I can’t.”

“What do you mean you can’t?!” It felt like his whole world was slipping through his fingers. Like water through a sieve. He was unable to stop it or even slow it down. “We have to fix this! Please come home!”

“I love you, but I just…” The line went quiet. He called out your name once, twice, but it was useless.

You were gone.

Sonny had never felt so defeated in his life. Slumping against the counter, he slammed his phone down. His eyes started to feel wet. He stood in the kitchen and quietly cried, taken aback by the fallout of one night. One mistake. One forgotten date.

[thecoolerliauditore]

whats ur scott/pearl dynamic... i agree people have got to be weirder about platonic relationships. they can just as insane as any other one and its delicious!

I'm so sorry anon scott/pearl is like. ethubs level insanity inducing for me I'm pre-emptively putting a cut here because I know it's gonna get horrid.

short answer is queerplatonic. medium length answer is that pearl desperately just wants a friend and scott is insane.

Gonna try doing this chronologically because otherwise I'll drive myself insane.

Last Life

LL Scott and Pearl is defined, to me, by a mixture of their genuine care for eachother and their very strange power dynamic. They are both aware that their team-up is born out of being mutually beneficial for the game rather than any sentimental reasons (a really nice contrast to FH) at least, in the beginning.

Pearl values Scott so much that she literally would give up her life (or, lives) for him as well as kill for him. Scott seems to believe for a good chunk of LL that what Pearl values him for is the labour he can perform for her (e.g. gathering resources and fighting alongside her) but I'd argue Pearl simply valued Scott as her friend above all else (Pearl desperately craving companionship above all else is going to be a massive running theme going onwards so I'd say it makes enough sense).

Even when it comes down to the final four and the two split up, with Pearl even saying that she "doesn't have to feel bad" about killing Scott, they have eachother on the mind.

I don't really know how to break this down without just linking the clip itself but:

Scott: Ren, stop running! Je-sus!

Ren: Leave me alone, go kill Martyn! Why are you going for me?!

Scott: I have to, you killed Pearl!

Pearl (ghost): Aww... Aw, that's sweet...

What bookends Scott and Pearl's LL relationship, to me, is Scott rescuing Binky the axolotl from Pearl's body after she died. Scott has always loved animals but he's also someone very meticulous about his inventory management and maximizing his chances at winning, and this final 1v1v1v1 was him at his sweatiest gameplay-wise.

There were much more useful things he could've chosen to loot but he chose to save Binky and even places him down in a pool of water in end to make sure he survived even after Scott himself dies (with the way he spoke, I think it's clear he was either ready to kill himself or knew Grian was about to smite him).

Other examples of their developing sentimentality and trust for eachother over the course of the season include Pearl catching a blue axolotl later on and remarking that it's "Scott's favourite colour", their stare-down routines for the boogey assignments (a really nice contrast to other alliances, like the fairy fort, who would literally scatter for the same thing) and, despite how I usually talk about this moment, Scott refusing to consider Pearl as a boogey-kill target (his refusal WAS because of gameplay purposes, but the fact that he never targetted Pearl, even when she had the most lives in the game, I think says something).

Scott's alliance with Pearl in LL is also unique in a lot of ways compared to other seasons. As mentioned before Scott does alot of things to powergame, and one of those is building his base in the corner of the map where it is harder to attack (he even says this outright in 3L). The Scottage, however, is dead centre in the LL map and causes him endless amounts of mostly southlander-induced grief. He also acts somewhat like he believes he is inferior to her on occasion (likely egged on by the previously mentioned power dynamic their alliance is built on), such as when he complains that people keep assuming Pearl built their house when he did (implying people believe Pearl is the more skilled builder), whereas Scott in other seasons very rarely ever shows any sign of insecurity.

Their relationship is not without a hint of darkness, as Pearl is essentially blind to Scott's feelings regarding her both positive and negative. In return, Scott is also unaware I'd argue to the end that Pearl valued him simply for him rather than what he could bring her, as I think that's a concept Scott struggles with in all of his relationships. Which leads to The Horrors.

TLDR; LL Scott/Pearl is awesome. Pearl is a wild card in Scott's life that changes up alot of things that are foundational to him. But I think that scares him because:

Double Life

Throws up. thinking about it.

I think this is where my thoughts on Scott/Pearl differ from a lot of people because I don't think Pearl feels anything more for Scott than a want to have back what they had in LL or at least closure for why he left her.

It's been awhile since I've watched her POV but I remember it being a big deal to me that Pearl never referred to Scott with any romantic terms. I think she says "soulmate" at some point but within the context of DL that word loses a lot of its connotation. Plus she was upset at Cleo too, although most of her ire was directed at Scott (imo because of the soulmate thing but also because they'd been allies for longer in LL).

Scott, on the other hand, outright accuses Pearl of "cheating" on him and starts to push the "crazy ex-girlfriend" angle onto her hard throughout the season. Despite Pearl never acknowledging anything resembling romantic in their relationship beforehand. At one point, Pearl breaks into his house and proclaims that she's just going to live there from now on, to which Scott says "this is why I'm gay."

The crazy ex/yandere thing was much more something Scott framed her as than anything she actually was, as her initial desire was to reunite with Scott AND Cleo and her insane giggly persona was something she adapted after Scott had started imposing that character onto her.

Adding to that, I do think if Pearl was actually romantically interested in Scott, she would've expressed it already during LL when the two were most close or even after DL when Scott gets a lot more brazen with the way he talks to Pearl. That isn't to say that she cares any less for Scott than he does with her, I just don't think the word "boyfriend" ever entered the equation for Pearl.

As for Scott, things get a little muddier. I think he's weird about Pearl because he's weird about romance and women in general. Scott has a very idealized vision of romance and operates under a certain belief system that he is doing everything with the goal of eventually achieving the happily ever after he desires (e.g. his 3L ending) - I think it's interesting how many times he emphasizes "fate" in 3L with him and Jimmy's relationship (as well as how that plays into other series, like esmp1).

With that in mind I think it's not too far a reach to say that Scott probably views the "soulmate" title differently to Pearl and sees the romantic connotations where Pearl doesn't. However he clearly isn't uncomfortable with a woman being his "soulmate" (despite the "this is why I'm gay" remark), as he calls Cleo his "chosen soulmate", so the issue is definitely with Pearl specifically. In my mind the key difference between Pearl and Cleo, in relation to Scott, is that the former acts to challenge Scott's beliefs about himself and the world whereas Cleo acts as a reinforcement. I can expand on that but this isn't the Scott/Cleo post and it's plenty long already so I'll spare you for now.

To clarify: I don't think I can definitively say Scott feels anything romantically for Pearl either. He definitely is stranger about her than she is to him, but his worldview regarding romantic attraction is very idealized to a point where it's hard to draw the line at where the performativeness begins and ends. e.g. I do think he loved Jimmy but I don't think he was initially romantically attracted to Jimmy.

Scott throws around romantic terms very liberally too, as seen in 3L when he referred to Scar as Grian's husband, so I think it's reasonable enough to assume that he just does that thing where he sees a relationship reach a certain level of fondness and assumes that it must be romantic and applies that to his own relationship with Pearl or assumes Pearl must operate by the same logic and so her pursuit of him must be romantic.

So, with that all being said: Pearl specifically having the "soulmate" title freaks Scott out because it makes his assumptions about his feelings for her real and acknowledging this would send him down an identity crisis spiral OR a worldview crisis spiral both of which would make him immediately explode. His relationship with Cleo is casual and alliance-y enough for him to not be uncomfortable with the same title being used for her.

As such, he abandons her, taking out the root cause of his discomforts and possibly projects his own feelings onto her through the "crazy ex-girlfriend" stuff. That second part I admit is a bit of a stretch and dubiously sourced but if anyone wants more about that ask me about Scott's views on women in general sometime.

Scott never actually hated Pearl, he hates himself but he doesn't allow himself to admit that so he has to hate Pearl for making him this way instead. Unfortunately Pearl lacks the tools and context to protect herself from him or help him, so she only ends up reinforcing what he believes.

Pearl's line at the end about how she forgives him is. Dubious at best to me. She certainly doesn't act like she has in the future and I think it was more born of her need to believe he still cared to some capacity, to the point where even that could be read as a sign of affection.

Limited Life

Limlife Scott/Pearl is hilarious because they're both very not over DL and while Scott does his thing where he likes to pretend none of his feelings from previous seasons carries over, Pearl is a little shit to him the whole time.

I honestly don't have a lot to say here other than that they're both very spiteful this season, Pearl more obviously than Scott, and Scott killing her in the end without a word is horror to me. I wrote a thing once about the part where Pearl says he looks like a rat if that's interesting.

It is a little bit sad to me how Pearl almost resembles her LL self at times despite claiming to be in red mode, very mischievously giggling to herself when she refuses to return the Mean Gills enchanter. Except this time Scott does not entertain her antics whatsoever and even feels victimized by them.

Side note I think Nosy Neighbours and Mean Gills are a great parallel to look at and I'm sad more people don't talk about the similarities between those two.

Secret Life

This is the season where Scott either lets the mental illness overtake him completely or acquires an entire new one because. jesus fuck.

Scott is still doing his thing where he pretends to not hold onto feelings from previous seasons and says - TO Pearl - that he and Pearl are over their differences.

Very early on in the series, Scott runs into Pearl and, after she's out of earshot, says to the camera "you guys are obsessed with flower husbands, when really it's just been me and Pearl," which is a very. Odd thing to say considering what's happened so far. Not only does it feel very out of character for him to even imply he's aware he never truly cared for Jimmy as a partner, this very casual outright acknowledgment of the perceived romantic tension he believes he has with Pearl, despite everything he did previously to fight it off, is so very strange. If it wasn't for this one line I don't think I'd feel as confident saying Scott feels more for Pearl than Pearl does for Scott, but he did say that and he's insane for it.

Not only that, right before that, Pearl (having just bumped into him) says something about it being strange that they keep finding eachother, to which Scott says that it must be "fate". Shudders.

He also waits for her to leave before saying the line comparing her to Jimmy, implying at least some level of self-consciousness. I guess he's ready to say those thoughts aloud to himself, but not directly to Pearl?

This isn't the only instance of Scott being strange about Pearl this season. Later, when Scott gets a task to get three people to say "love you" to him, he spends extra long trying to bait it out of Pearl, which is the same scene he says they're both over what happened in DL. He actually incorrectly uses the term "trauma bond" here, which is really funny to me but also very Freudian slip of him.

Pearl doesn't say it back and Scott teases her with this come the next episode where he playfully cites it as a reason he doesn't want her near his base, where Pearl finally entertains him with an equally playful "love you, Scott," which is apparently enough for him.

The Jimmy parallels continue here as well, since Scott also unsuccessfully tried to do the same thing with him in Limlife and, unlike all the other people who he didn't succeed getting those words out of as part of his task that episode, Jimmy and Pearl's rejections are the only ones he commented on afterwards.

There's smaller instances too, such as him chasing after Pearl on his horse throwing bread at her when Pearl baited him into helping her with her task or him being all too comfortable with having Pearl around his alliance despite acting antagonistic to her allies (snidely saying under his breath "she wants you to win..." when Bdubs mentions Pearl's promise to him, or refusing to take Joel in as an ally, are examples).

In my humble opinion. Scott is maybe overcorrecting. He probably does feel guilt for DL and LimL and desperately wants Pearl back, but he's allergic to self-reflection so his way of getting there is to write everything off as water under the bridge (we're cool now, Pearl! Right Pearl.Right Pearl. Right) and dive into trying to claw out any sign of affection from Pearl to confirm to himself that she still cares. Loves him, you could even say. I still don't really know what to make of that line where he compares their relationship to FH but. Whatever.

You might've noticed at this point that this section is very lacking in half of this duo. Where the fuck is Pearl. I haven't really talked about her because, in all honesty, I don't think she really cared that much for Scott this season.

She certainly still wants to be friends with him again, that much is evident by her entertaining his "love you" bullshit, but she was much more concerned about the Mounders and Gem that season. Scott trying to push him abandoning her back in DL to the side probably didn't sit right with her, since she actually agrees with him when he says that, but later hunts him down specifically saying that they had unfinished business from DL.

TLDR Pearl pretty much avoids any confrontation with Scott until she snaps at the end, but is still wrestling with her need to have him back.

I think it's super upsetting how, after all the clinging onto Pearl, Scott ends his season by murdering her friends and running away from her when she chases him down. He wants her back so desperately but he would literally rather die than have to deal with the confrontation.

Real Life

I don't count this one as canon.

If I have to say anything I'd say this is evidence Pearl has memory issues or murdered Scarlet Pearl in her sleep.

Uh yeah that's about it. Fellas is it gay to like a girl so much you have to kill yourself

[rey-jake-therapist]

Can someone explain why people think that celeborn is coming back in season 3. I’ve seen multiple people referring to this (including some lovely person in the haladriel tag claiming that the time of haladriel is over and the time of galaborn has arrived! Ok then…). As far as I’m aware there has been no confirmation from any authority as to when celeborn will appear, only a vague “at some point.” Seems like people are just assuming he’ll appear next season because they think haladriel has sunk (so OBVIOUSLY it’s time to move onto the next love interest for Galadriel…) That seems like quite an assumption to me, especially considering amazon has been going insane promoting the hell out of haladriel. Additionally, why do people think that the showrunners care that much about celeborn when every writing choice they’ve made indicates that they don’t.

Yes, even some big Haladriel accounts on Twitter are now actively discouraging shippers from hoping for anything romantic/close to romantic between Sauron and Galadriel coming forward, just because Galadriel said before Sauron stabbed her with Morgoth's crown, "the door is shut"; these same accounts also predict the arrival of Celeborn as if it was some evidence that he should come home now, because we can't have Galadriel staying without a love interest, right ?

From what I can see here and there, these people remembered what Galadriel told Frodo about Sauron who "gropes ever to see me and my thoughts" and her keeping the door shut, took Galadriel's line in episode 8 "the door is shut" at face value even though the show is fond of red-herrings and Sauron hadn't forced the bond between them yet, and decided that Galadriel's temptation for Sauron/power is now over, that she's now ready to embrace her Lady of Light arc, and to be a good wife and mother. Some of these people's ideal scenario is that she'll be too weak to fight because of the wound, will retreat in Lothlorien and do nothing in the show except building her realm and cocooning with Celeborn... No comment.

Maybe those who predict Celeborn's return are right, you know? They may have Celeborn come back in glory from wherever he is now. But it would still be foolish to believe that he's going to show up in the first or even the second episode, while Galadriel mentioned him only once in two seasons, and canonically fell very hard for another man, who also happens to be Sauron, of all people.

They'll first have to remind the casual viewers that this guy even exists. People who didn't read the books but just watched the movies do not care a bit about Celeborn. For them, he's just the guy from the "for I much desire to speak with him" meme. Before Galadriel so briefly talked about him to Theo, I was myself certain that she and Celeborn hadn't met yet, and it was very obvious at this point that she was "very much in love" with Halbrand. I didn't even ship Haladriel at all then, but it was as visible as a neon sign.

Meaning, introducing Celeborn at this point of the story won't be an easy task. If they have Galadriel claim she missed him terribly all this time, it will feel very off and OOC, considering that the show didn't show that at all. At the moment, she seems to have two big loves in her life : her brother (platonic, of course), and Halbrand lol All her thoughts are directed towards Sauron, and the love/hate she has for him. She doesn't seem to doubt that Celeborn's dead (she said she "lost him" to the war, which heavily implies that he's dead to her, and not chilling in Lothlorien like I see some people suggest on Reddit and Twitter), and she seems way more affected by her brother's death and by Sauron's betrayal, than by her husband's death. I'm sorry but this is a fact. Blame the writers for clearly not knowing what to do with Celeborn... Peter Jackson didn't know either, for the record lol

In conclusion, I think these people are fooling themselves if they genuinely believe that :

Haladriel has sunk because Galadriel said "the door is shut" to Sauron while he hadn't bound her to him yet

Galadriel will forget all about the feelings she had for Halbrand once Celeborn comes back. "Elves memories never dim", for the record. And Sauron literally put his mark on her so he's not letting her go anytime soon.

"The door is shut" was a definitive statement, and the wound Sauron gave her will be nothing more than a reminder of a past she's now fully ready to leave beind.

The show runners said that Galadriel passed one test in episode 8 : she will no longer be tempted to be Sauron's queen. And he will probably not propose her again, because as Charlie suggested, this time he knows it won't happen. But until now, Galadriel and Sauron weren't bound in the strict sense of the term : yes, they had a sort of connection, they knew each other's mind because they had spent time together, but they didn't have a free access to each other's thoughts yet.

So when she said "the door is shut", Galadriel probably meant that Sauron would never be able to manipulate her with his lies and his deceptions, because she knows his game and won't fall for it ever again. But when he stabbed her with Morgoth's crown, Sauron broke down that "door". Meaning he'll keep "slither in" Galadriel's mind, wether she wants it or not. He'll keep trying to influence her thoughts and actions, so she'll have to find a way to shut him off.

Somehow I don't think that her husband's undying love for her will be enough to help her fight against Sauron's intrusions, but I'm not a writer for TROP so... We can just wait and see.

[carpenoctem1897]

More and more people have started talking about this online which is really nice to see, but I kinda just wanted to go off on a little tangent about never really dating or having much romantic experience and how that has effected my self esteem.

I feel like people say the cliche things like “learn to love yourself first” or “it’ll come when you least expect it” but honestly the more I hear it, the more frustrated I become.

I won’t lie, when I was younger I really did think something HAD to be wrong with me in some way for nobody to see me in a romantic light. It’s taken a lot of work to build myself up into the person I am today, and I’m genuinely very proud of how far I’ve come in terms of the way I feel about myself and my body and the way I’m perceived. I still have bad days, but I don’t think there’s a single person out there who doesn’t. But those bad days are few and far between.

I can honestly say that I do love myself. I think I’m a good person and a kind person and a patient person. I’m a romantic at heart and I have so much love to give but nobody to give it to.

I’ve never had anyone actively seek me out for a relationship. I’ve never been formally asked on a date, the one boyfriend I have had ended up cheating on me.

When you go through life like that, never receiving any kind of validation that you are worthy of being viewed in that way, it becomes incredibly difficult to believe you ever will. It’s so so hard for me to imagine someone else loving me or being interested in that way. Like I can honestly say that I don’t really know what to do if someone compliments me, I doubt I’d really know if I was being flirted with….. and as much as I would really love to get the opportunity to experience romance, I feel like I’ve been so conditioned to think that it’s something that I’ll never have that I wouldn’t be able to identify romantic interest if it hit me with the force of a speeding train.

Maybe this all sounds incredibly trivial and shallow, but honestly I just want to understand what it feels like to have someone love me that way. Yes I have friends and family who love me, but familial and platonic love just aren’t the same.

And onto the topic of “It’ll come when you least expect it” or “just wait, it’ll happen when the time is right.” WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO WAIT TO BE LOVED! I see so many people experiencing romance every day, why not me? Am I not just as deserving?

This whole rant might come off as bitter, and maybe I am. I just hope at the very least that maybe someone else can relate and maybe feel a little less alone in their experience.

[youthnighttarot]

Umm…..so like tf going on? (What’s happening to you right now) PAC

Pile 1

Cards Pulled: FoC, KoS, SoSwrv

Reading: What I’m getting from what’s happening right now is some form of loss, grief or trauma that you’re focusing on. You may be carrying this emotional burden with and this could be causing some form of instability within your life. You need to build a routine and not just any routine a routine based around you and what brings you true happiness. You may need to have a conversation with someone who is responsible for this or even with yourself. Find the strength within yourself stand your ground fully and wholeheartedly. Some people are unwilling to change and you can’t use that as an excuse why you let them treat you the way that they do. You may have recently gone through a relationship separation whether it may be romantic, platonic, or familial. Don’t allow them to take you for granted. You are not going to heal overnight it is going to take some time and you have to be comfortable with that. Sometimes you may slip back but don’t allow that to become a pattern an later another bad habit. You may be detaching yourself from personal matters thinking of things that make you or made you feel guilty. You also have to be willing to change even if that means cutting people off. Create some self-discipline within your schedule and your time. You need some self-care ASAP. Relax and allow yourself to breathe your so tight and anxious and this only causes more stress and pain to your mental state. For those who have been wronged the bases revenge especially for those who have been monetarily abused…the best revenge is your paper 💰💅🏾. You really need to clear your mind and space pile one it’s almost suffocating this is not good at all. So I got the sugar baby card and the message I was most drawn to is “you need to get more independent…help yourself”. I need really getting this has to do with you it’s more so someone else….however if you feel this resonates with you then this is your message. This person more than likely constantly take from you and would rather use you than love you or give to you. This person needs to help their damn selves it’s not your responsibility to take care of a grown ass selves. Stop allowing yourself to be overwhelmed by this person or your current situation. It’s not helping and if you continue down this road it will continue to delay the am healing you desperately need. You definitely need to reconnect with your inner child because your beginning to lose yourself it’s as if your inner child barely knows who you are anymore. Talk to your inner child they need you to tell them everything is going to be ok. That you’ll get through and one day this nightmare will be a distant memory. This person or possibly you deserves and Oscar for the performance that they put on…it’s actually ridiculous. The literal fucking gaslighting that they do is utterly insane. Who would have the audacity and nerve to use someone trauma against them and even if that specific scenario doesn’t resonate…this person definitely gaslights you and it’s honestly weird….because you seem to be a genuine person and they see that as a way to use you or they take as an opportunity to

Advice from spirit: You need to heed these spiritual warnings because it will lead you to utter chaos if you don’t. You have the angel number 44 {“Angel Number 44 brings a message that you are being surrounded by helpful, loving angels who wish to bring you peace of mind and joy of heart. Angel Number 44 indicates that you are being given support and encouragement along your path, and when faced with an obstacle, rest assured that your angels are most willing to assist. Be assured that solutions to any issues or problems will soon be revealed. Angel Number 44 is a message that the angels and Archangels are with you, encouraging and guiding you. They are offering you inner-strength and support to enable you to get the work done that you need to in order to attain and achieve your goals and aspirations. They know and understand that you have been toiling diligently towards your goals, and encourage you to continue on your current path to achieve the success and results you desire. Work with the angels to ensure success in all of your endeavours.”} You need to absolutely do more work within the 3D realm because you have a lot of support from the 5D your team is supporting they got you. For some of you could be an air sign or you may have it in your chart. Or you may need to stop detaching and ground yourself some of you have been quite aloof lately almost lethargic. And all in all you need to relax pile 1 allow yourself to truly heal you need it.

Pile 2

Cards Pulled: 4oPrv, 2oWrv, KnoWrv

Reading: Pile 2 you are walking away from the old your shedding that old residue in a corner and leaving it. You may have spent so much of your time in the past giving to other people. Putting other people before yourself. They “y’all eat before I fix my plate mentality“ you were too open, and too generous to people who didn’t deserve it. Deep down you know this but may have chosen to ignore it. (Tbh this may be pile 1 after you heal for some of you) Your leaving behind this reckless behaviors. You were scared of changing that if you made the decision there was no turning back. But now you refuse the mu and not allowing yourself to be held back because of your past. Again I’m getting there were a lot reckless things you’ve in your past you or this person may have been careless, violent, loud and overwhelming obnoxious. You or this person had shown zero self discipline don’t allow people to put a chip on your shoulder and or don’t walk around with a chip on your shoulder. You need a blank slate pile 2 or you’re starting a new beginning in your life where you start over. Again I’m getting in your past you may have had a lot of problems because of risky decisions you’ve made. Now is also not the time to make risky choices take some time to think it through. Is it really worth the risk that your taking if yes go for but if you feel deep down it isn’t don’t go for it. You don’t want to rush into things without any insight going in. Your life path number could be 11, 22, 33, or 44. Or those my be numbers that could pop up often around you. But you’re learning new things about yourself…taking new journeys that will lead to your life path journey. You can never give up or fail at what’s destined for you. So CONFIRMATION you already knew what was up with this person deep down but you ignored your feeling/intuition but now you definitely know why you felt the way you felt at the beginning. For some of you, you were dealing with a dust bucket and you had to get the hell out of dodge cuz they were on some next shit. And for the rest this person had red flags all up and through them but you that you could “fix” them. They may have interfered with your summer last year and caused a lot of real problems for you. This summer is gonna be different ain’t nothing gonna break your stride. (Go listen to that song 🎧)

Advice from Spirit: You took your healing path one day at a time…and it paid off. But you still have to make an ongoing effort to continue along this line because it will not always be easy. With tenth house energies coming out there could be a big career move happening or something having to do with recognition and financial stability. Also look into your natal 10th house as well as transit for April that may also give you some insight. You have angel numbers 134 and 33 popping out {“Be Keen On Your Physical And Mental Well-being.Angel number 134 comes with a message from your guardian angel that you are working effortlessly to realize your desires and goals. However, it also reminds you that you should not abandon your well-being to achieve your goals. Try as much as possible to get a balance between your health and your hardworking lifestyle. You can do so by altering your hardworking lifestyle to fit in some time to catch your breathe and relax.” “Master Number (Master Teacher) and resonates with the energies of compassion, blessings, inspiration, honesty, discipline, bravery and courage. Number 33 tells us that ‘all things are possible’. 33 is also the number that symbolizes ‘guidance’. The Master Number 33 is connected to the Ascended Masters, and the repeating Angel Number 33 is a message that many Ascended Masters surround you and are offering their assistance. All you need to do is ask, as the Ascended Masters are waiting to answer your prayers.

Read more at: https://trustedpsychicmediums.com/angel-numbers/angel-number-134-meaning-and-symbolism/

Pile 3

Cards Pulled: 2oCrv, AoS, Justicerv

Readings: You may have ended a partnership or relationship that was causing a lot of disharmony within your life. There wasn’t a lot of balance between you and this person or group of people. You may have constantly been in arguments with one another. This person was really unfair to you pile 3 and I’m sorry for that. You may have even lost a couple of friendships behind this person. You are finally seeing this person through a clear mind or you and this person could have had a breakthrough with each other and been able to communicate but that only feel like that’s for a few of you. For a lot of you thought you’re finally seeing the truth about this person or group of people’s true self…how unfair they treated you how they never took accountability for being wrong but somehow could always point out when you were in the wrong. The hypocrisy of it all 🙄. You’re creating new plans and ideas without them and they probably can’t stand it. You able to see the truth for the first time and since then you never went back. There’s a pattern of mental clarity in all these piles so feel free to look at another one if you resonated with. You are finally receiving justice for everything you went through…..the scales are finally balance. You are now a force to be reckoned with nobody is gonna challenge your worth again. Take some time off and relax binge watch that series you’re always talking about or finish that book you’ve been looking at for months. Illusion from your past may be brought back up and this will be a testament to your will and strength. Though you went through this now is not the time to retreat in a shell entirely go out meet new people. Have a fling or two but most importantly heal yourself from within so that it may shine on the outside. Remember who you are and others will act accordingly. Yea so you know you don’t even have to worry and if you don’t now you know. This person is about to have all their shit aired out but whom I don’t know when I also don’t know but I hear soon. You need to let go of trying to fix everything and everyone….you can’t fix what’s already broken. Let the past go the longer you keep trying to fix it the more you will regress. You may be asking yourself why this person or group of people would even act this way. “WHAT WAS THE REASON” in my cardi voice. And all they can do is look at you stupidly like really. That being said they‘re not up worrying and thinking about you so why are you giving them your time and energy knowing they aren’t worth it.

Advice from Spirit: Divine teachings is what you will be receiving or you have already received and will continue to receive. Trust that these lessons do have purpose no matter how much they may hurt you or cuz you pain. Angel numbers 22 and 88 popped out {“If you find yourself in the midst of chaos or disorder, the angel number 22 is a sign from your angels that they are with you, and that harmony will soon be restored.This angel number 22 is also a reminder to stay positive and to have faith that all is working out for your highest good.Trust that your angels are guiding and supporting you, and know that everything will eventually come into alignment.” “The 88 angel number is a powerful message from the angels. It signifies new beginnings, abundance, and karmic connections. The 88 angel number is also a lucky number, and seeing it is a sign of good things to come. As such, it also represents financial abundance, success, and good fortune. Moreover, it’s a reminder that you are always connected to the spiritual realm and that your thoughts and actions have an impact on your life path. Perhaps most importantly, it’s a message from the angels, telling you that they are with you and helping you through whatever challenges you may be facing.”

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[ranchthoughts]

moments of ephemerality/permanence/YOLO/photography/voyeurism/control/hypocrisy etc. etc. in Only Friends ep. 6

first, where we've been so far

Permanence vs. ephemerality

in romantic relationships: Mew asking Top to meet his parents at the end of the year IF they are still together, Top insisting they would be still together and multiple times over the episode talking about being with Mew for the long haul/forever

in platonic relationships: Mew telling Ray they will be friends forever, Ray confronting everyone at the bar with uncomfortable truths while telling Mew he will always support him, Sand telling Top they will never be friends vs. Top asking Sand why he can't just let bygones be bygones

And a more general comment: while there was a ton of fallout from last episode, particularly from the fight in Sand and Nick's apartment, there was also a lot of... moving past it? At least on the surface. Sand didn't contact Ray for a while but when they were back together again at the pool table Sand told Ray there was nothing to be mad about, Ray can have feelings for whoever he wants. Sand also seemed happy for Nick spending time with Boston, despite Boston breaking up their nice evening the other day. Ray and Boston are on thin ice but were still attending meetings with the professor and Mew's birthday in the same room - this did quickly go south over the course of the episode, but before that they didn't seem to have told anyone else about their blow up. Things continued to simmer and spilled over in a big way this episode, but it made me wonder, like Chueam not telling April about her short films, how often fights and betrayals have happened in the past and how often they've been pushed down and smoothed over and ignored in this friend group. @lurkingshan noted a similar thought in the comments on her post here; that we are seeing the relationships between the characters shift very quickly from episode to episode and that is another example of ephemerality.

Another big win for the ephemerality squad came through this episode: the reveal that that if Boston doesn't graduate, he will go live in New York with his mother. Boston's dad frames it as "if he doesn't graduate" but Boston talking to Nick afterwards makes it sound like a done deal - Boston doesn't plan on graduating, or if he does, he's going to New York anyways. Boston doesn't need to try, he's immune to consequences: fail school and he gets to go to New York; antagonize his friends irreparably and he will be in New York and never have to see them again. There's no need to build permanent, lasting connections with people (romantic or platonic) if he is planning on jumping ship, so no need to treat people around him with care or respect or be accountable for his actions. We've been talking about proximity based friendships lately and here's another example; to Boston, his time here, and his relationships with these people, have an expiration date. (I wonder if Mew, Ray, and Chueam know?)

Two more thoughts:

Sand's mom says he shouldn't be worrying about her but instead living his "wild teenaged life" (encouraging ephemerality, connecting ephemerality with youth), but also cautions him that one day his "we have fun sometimes" relationship with Ray might one day not be fun anymore (encouraging permanence and lasting relationships? or telling him to walk if he isn't having fun, i.e. encouraging ephemerality?).

Mew tells Ray that if he keeps this lifestyle up he will be dead before he hits 30 - the theme of death, the fleetingness of life, and consequences! This hits harder knowing what we do about Ray's past (and Ray's past with Mew), and given the jacket that Ray is wearing which reads "Is your life worth something?" on the back. This is the question Ray struggles with, and it impacts his relationships with others too (Sand desperately offering Ray love and Ray, unable to believe someone would genuinely care for him, lashing out).

Changing and not changing

Last episode there was a lot about changing: Nick going to the gym and switching up his wardrobe, Ray experiencing a day in Sand's life, Mew having sex, Top and Mew exchanging "I love you", Boston talking about settling down, Mew deciding to get Lasik. This episode, we had more changes and a lot of characters commenting on whether or not change is possible:

Mew says: change takes time and words are not enough, that it is hard to stop loving someone so easily

Top says: people can change, he has changed for Mew (giving up his playboy ways and drugs) and he can continue to change for Mew [though who knows if he has actually given up drugs, and he did sleep with Boston while Mew and him were together], but Ray can't change (he will always be in love with Mew and trying to get with him)

Sand says: some people - like Top - can't change ("once a prick, always a prick"), Nick has changed (his wardrobe and his interests, as he gets more into extreme sports)

Ray: Ray wants Mew to be happy and find someone good, even if it doesn't involve him, showing a change in his thoughts and feelings about Mew (Mew still matters a lot to him, but he's working on letting him go). People can change - though it might not be easy

Can these characters change? That remains to be seen. A lot of the changes we've seen so far have been questionable (did Top give up drugs for Mew? does Boston have any longing to settle down?) or it's still too early in the series to tell if they will stick (Nick's new wardrobe, Ray getting over Mew, etc.).

This idea of whether or not people can change relates to the theme of labels we've explored previously (1, 2). People get labeled by others and it can be very hard to shake those appellations or the expectations attached to them. We see that in this episode, like when Ray approaches Mew in the bathroom and Mew assumes he's there to get high and begins lecturing him about safety, or when the friend group is talking to their professor and Chueam says "Even Boston is helping a lot. Surprised?". These labels can limit and affect our own self-perceptions too (the best example being Ray, who has firmly internalized the idea of being a "burden").

To use an example for the types of questions I am mulling over: Is Top changing for Mew (did he actually give up drugs, etc.)? Is Top sincere about wanting to change for Mew (is he enjoying the monogamous life), is this something he is enjoying? Is it possible for Top to change sincerely in some ways ("for Mew") and not in others (e.g., how differently Top behaves with Mew vs. with Sand and others)? Is Sand right that "once a prick, always a prick"? Is Boston right that Top will always be a playboy? What does it say about Sand and Boston that they assume Top can't change; is Sand and Boston (and others) assuming Top can't change preventing him from changing (sincerely)? Has Top internalized the labels other people assign him (playboy, top-tier, prick) to the extent that he cannot be anything else, that these will always be a part of him?

@neuroticbookworm wrote here that "the self-identities of the youth is fleeting and ephemeral," and notes these characters are fighting and comparing themselves to one another without knowing who they or their friends are, and the hypocrisy and insecurity in that. A lot of the change and absence of change we see in these characters comes from a place of comparison: Nick wants to change to be more like Top (switching up his wardrobe, going to the gym, etc.), Boston refuses to change who he is because he needs to prove his way/ideology is Right and Better than Mew's (though he does express interest in settling down... after Mew and Top start getting cozy [though again, does he mean it?]), Mew has sex with Top as he fears losing him to his playboy past/other people who will have sex with him, etc.

And along with comparison, and the insecurity and hypocrisy in that, comes the idea of control: if we can control how other people are seen (through the enforcement of labels), we can control how we are seen and make ourselves look superior (setting ourselves up in opposition to the labels we give other people), and we can make sure our superiority remains unquestioned (by enforcing other people's labels so hard they can't escape, even in their own heads). Of course, control itself has been fleeting and ephemeral in this show - the characters are grasping at straws to maintain some sort of control/superiority over their friends and the situation.

Ownership

Speaking of control, I wanted to throw a couple of ideas into the ring.

At the pool party in episode 3, Top asks Mew to leave, Mew says he wants to stay and help Ray, Ray responds sharply and tells Top "He doesn't want to go. Don't make him". Top, sensitive to challenges from others (and especially from Ray), immediately ups the ante and is more snarky than he usually is in front of Mew, reminding Ray of who Mew's one and only boyfriend is, then drags Mew off.

Here, Sand is antagonizing Top and Top snaps, saying "I get anyone I want. What about you? Who do you get?"* We saw Top speaking like this at the very beginning of the series - like Boston, he takes pride he who he can "get" and keep.

*again, comparisons. And insinuating Top is better because he can get (and keep) a boyfriend, unlike Sand.

At Mew's birthday party in the bar, after Yo jokingly asked her boyfriend if she can date Mew for the day. Top plays it his response off as charming and loving protectiveness, and others agree, but interesting to consider given the types of comments Top makes (when Mew isn't around).

All the above reminds me of the multiple times this series Top has casually tried to sway Mew's opinions, specifically against Ray.

In episode 5, he insinuates that Ray doesn't work hard on this project, that Mew deserves better, that Mew should change the project to being at Top's hotel. In episode 6, Mew brings up Ray and Top says "Why are you still friends with him? He's never going to stop liking you." Top frames these as simple observations, just friendly suggestions because he cares about Mew (his smiles, his carefully casual tone, "What? *laughs* Am I wrong?", "Honestly...," "You're such a good friend and boyfriend. No one can get over you easily"), not something that Mew necessarily has to do or take to heart but Top can't help but notice... But we know Top knows Ray doesn't like him and that Ray has feelings for Mew, and given Top's expression when he found Ray at Mew's house in episode 4, when he learned Ray was Mew's first kiss, when Ray challenged him at the pool party, when Ray spoke encouragingly to Mew while lambasting everyone else at the bar... Top doesn't like Ray either. These casual, friendly observations and suggestions feel a lot more pointed. Ray is a challenge to Top, and Top wants him gone - preferably without alarming or alerting Mew to his true intentions.

A few people have noted the interesting split between Top-with-Mew and Top-with-others, how he becomes cockier, snarkier, meaner, and more possessive (see: Top with Nick, Top with Sand), and I'm looking forward to keeping my eye on it, especially now as Mew has thrown back the covers and Top is on the defensive.

If I can throw another observation into the ring... Ray speaking about Mew: "I want you to be happy. Whatever you decide to do, whoever you choose, I hope it all turns out great". I think this also speaks to Ray and his own lack of self-worth, but it's an interesting comparison to make between Top and Mew and Ray and Mew, who seem to have a closer and more genuine friendship that the others in the group (despite Mew's careless comments and lecturing about Ray's drinking and habits, and the love and expectations Ray has pinned on Mew after he saved him in the bathtub). Also! Very interesting to note given what @twig-tea points out in this post: that when Mew is sleeping Ray kisses him on the lips and Top kisses him on the forehead. I have no conclusions, only observations...

Boundaries and hypocrisy

Nick tells Gap: "Not replying means I don't want to see you. How dare you walk in and greet me," when in episode 4 we had Boston accosting Top in an elevator after the latter ignored his messages. @bengiyo pointed out another hypocritical parallel - Boston continues "I don't want to be friends with someone who sneakily recorded me"... having of course sneakily recorded his friends Ray and Mew. Again, Boston has firm boundaries about himself (don't contact me if I am ignoring your messages, don't take intimate photos of me) that he does not follow/steps past for other people (harassing Top in the elevator, taking intimate photos of Nick and Mew and Ray).

Recording and voyeurism

The one sex tape to rule them all continues to get passed around the friend group, finally reaching the subjects themselves. I expect more fallout to come (Boston's dad still has his campaign and Boston still doesn't know where the recording came from), but what we got was delicious. I wondered if the car recording would be questioned or disbelieved by anyone, given it's only audio and no visuals, but apparently everyone can recognize Boston and Top by their moans! There's something to be said about trust too, how Ray immediately trusts the recording Sand plays for him, Mew immediately trusts the recording Ray plays for him...

Top did some recording of his own, this time with a paper and pen (after seeing him take notes last episode on his and Mew's work date). He presented Mew with a collection of drawings he's done of him, capturing moments from their relationship in a permanent pen and paper form. I wonder also - with drawing, is there even more of an ability to construct the narrative... photography captures what is there, while drawing you can adjust what you'd like. This fits in the recurring theme of voyeurism too - Top drawing Mew when he's sleeping or otherwise not aware.

I remember on Tumblr ages ago someone talking about Sand and Ray and audio (records), Boston and Nick and visual (photos), and speculating that Top and Mew might have something to do with writing/drawing (I can't remember who said it, but I know @distant-screaming has been playing with this concept too). Here we go!

tagging the ephemerality squad: @chickenstrangers, @clara-maybe-ontheroad, @distant-screaming, @lurkingshan, @neuroticbookworm, @rocketturtle4, @slayerkitty , @twig-tea , @waitmyturtles , @wen-kexing-apologist

[prof-ramses]

Helluva Boss Apology Tour review

In retrospect, it's pretty funny that my expectations for this and The Full Moon ended up being reversed, the episode I expected to by focused on character interaction ended up being more action focused, while the episode I thought would be action focused ended up being mostly character interactions.

For those who just want my thoughts on the plot developments: Once again, I'm pleasantly surprised by how Stolas is handled, with a few moments sticking out for currently neutral reasons (it'll make more sense later).

Now, do get to the details:

I felt the opening sequence was slightly longer than needed, but I feel that was somewhat intentional, evoking a sense of unease.

The montage of the bulk of Blitz's apologies is a lovely tribute to what amounts to the first third of the show, this is easily the most callback heavy episode, but I'd say it feels earned given its place in the story. And I simply can't gloss over the brief acknowledgement of all the people who ship Martha and Mayberry, for someone like me, who has a love of those tongue in cheek fandom gags, it's a real good treat.

Speaking of references, don't think I missed Grandpa's cameo when Blitz gets to Earth, oddly enough, it's not even the characters first interactions with the hellaverse, as Brandon's channel has a sketch of Blitz and Moxxie going after Grandpa.

The song was perfectly serviceable, even if I'm not a fan of Bryce Pinkham's voice in general. I'll also take this opportunity to say I loved both the joke of an actual Blitz plush being burned and the brief shot of the last "party" Stolas attended.

The major point of the episode is obviously the conversation between Blitz and Stolas at the party, and I certainly have some thoughts on it. The first moment that stuck out to me was Stolas saying he wants someone to care about him and want him in their life, only for him to clarify a moment later that he meant it romantically feels like it was done to show that he's, at least on some level, aware that he's neglecting Octavia, which I can't wait to see catch up with him, hopefully by the end of the season. The second is when her doubles down on wanting to be wanted, the exact moment when I came up with this question:"Stolas why do you think no one wants you in their life?" And this is exactly what I hope is built on, Stolas has drowned himself in self pity for so long that there's very little to him as a person to the point that no one sees any real benefit in having any relationship with him, not just romantically, but platonically as well.

This is all building to my point, I'm genuinely starting to think that Blitz and Stolas' relationship will ultimately end on a mutually respectful break up, and if that does turn out to be true then I might genuinely end up somewhat respecting this plotline, despite the major road bumps in the first half of the season.

The last major point I want to hit is Verosika, who manages to be both more extreme and more subdued than before while still feeling completely natural. While I don't have any concrete ideas, I am very curious to see where her character goes in the future.

In conclusion, while I think I prefer The Full Moon, this is still a better episode than roughly half of season. I just hope they can keep it up in the last three episodes as well as the three shorts we'll be getting in July, August and September, which are indeed a thing, in case you weren't aware. That's all for now, feel free to leave any of your own thoughts below.

[vasito-de-leche]

;NSR EVE - Love Languages (giving)

Headcanons and analysis on Eve, her love languages and the way she shows and expresses her appreciation.

I'm itching to write, so might as well continue the love languages series <3 this one was meant to go with Zuke and Mayday cause I LOVE to think about how their dynamic might've been if they ever became friends, but I don't have enough energy to do three characters all at once aheme aheem

bUT there are tiny bits of Zuke and Mayday sprinkled in, just for fun and because I had no clue how to take them out from the ideas I wrote down teehee

1010 (giving) | Eve (you're here!)

Giving: Quality Time, Words of Affirmation

[Quality Time]

Eve might present herself as extremely complex and misunderstood to the public, but there is an endearing simplicity in the way she shows affection - she wants to offer all the things she lacked while growing up and while building her career as an artist and musician.

This is most obvious in her art, which Zuke often states to be meant for the people: the statue covered with eyes created to repay all the attention she received, no matter how small, when she began her career. The artistic fountains that filter and redirect water to help people, and so on and so forth.

There is something to be said about Eve and loneliness: how she's unable to separate herself from it, and the way she weaponizes it in an attempt to retain her individuality and uniqueness, while also being hurt by it as she continues to essentially ruin any attempts at making genuine connections with people outside of her craft. It's similar to her relationship with the concept of eyes and being perceived! There is the action of staring and the action of being stared at. There is an inside and an outside. There is Eve and there is Nadia. (Duality just keeps influencing many, many aspects of her life, too)

This is why quality time is her priority when showing her affections, whether romantic or platonic. She will not ask her loved ones for their time, because she will always be there should they choose to seek her out - but when it comes to making time for others?

Eve is relentless in finding ways to be there for them, even if it's at the cost of her own health and schedule. It would be unfair to describe her as extremely emotional or overbearing - she is sensible, yes, but Eve is best described as intense. She resembles Mayday in this aspect, it's all or nothing for them. Both of them are at their best when they connect with their community, those with similar views or traits, anything they share that can help them realize they're not alone.

Eve makes a point to set weekly dates just so she can catch up with those she cherishes, putting all of her work aside. And this alone should tell you how much she values quality time, since she's a literally built a brand on being DEFINED by her work and art. Whereas Zuke is the type to let his loved ones pick the activity and setting, and Mayday is the type to pick new things herself, Eve likes to settle for a middle ground. Something that's familiar but not tedius nor repetitive.

Initially, I can see her struggling with this - she would feel inadequate choosing or doing anything less than grand and perfect for her loved ones (especially if we're talking about someone she greatly respects and admires), and she would feel horrible doing anything that only she enjoys, as she'd feel like stealing the spotlight and making the outing all about herself. But overtime, she would grow out of this mindset and settle for a nice middle ground, yeah!

With even more time, I could see Eve getting used to the idea of casual outings, like getting lunch together, staying at home and watching a movie, going for a walk etc. But this might be a little trickier? Intimacy is something that she will gladly offer, but struggle with accepting. Eve will gladly give her undivided attention to her loved ones, but she needs their partner to have something else to focus on that isn't exclusively herself.

She's always been in the spotlight for better or for worse, so naturally, she deflects.

This habit of hers can make her come across as distant, unwilling to drop her guard even for those closest to her, but it's far from the truth. I feel like Eve is the type of person who would also cultivate very, very few but extremely close relationships and friendships - if she's making time for you, it's absolutely because you've proved to her that you understand her limits, boundaries and efforts. That you can actually see her, both Nadia and Eve. Both her bright and darkest sides. Her ways might be unorthodox or hard to comprehend, but they're genuine and she's always willing to try harder and find ways of making things work if asked.

[Words of Affirmation]

Okay, let's get this out of the way - Eve is an artist before she is an individual (at least in her eyes) and she has a very unique vision of the world that she's a little desperate to share with like-minded people, we all know that. She has a very unique way of expressing herself verbally as well, as seen during her cutscenes. She might even be the boss with the most dialogue in the game, not counting Tatiana.

And I love to think that this is another endearing side to her. Eve is chatty, very chatty. She has opinions and a very strong sense of self. The aesthetic she surrounds herself with and that sense of aloofness that often follows her mitigates the overall cuteness of just how talkative Eve can be - again, she comes across as distant, very etheral, poetic and whatnot.

But when it comes to talking to her loved ones? Or about them? I can't stress enough how passionate, endearing and stubborn she is.

Words of affirmation is Eve's second love language because it's something she actively chooses to do and offer, as opposed to something that comes out naturally like quality time.

It's not uncommon for Eve's loved ones to receive constructive criticism from her in whatever hobbies and projects they might be working in. Again, Eve is at her best when she's being helpful, this comes out naturally. She is confident in her artistic abilities and her keen eye, knowing that she can help improve their craft with a few pointers here and there. And she can get carried away with this, maybe even take over a little or become really involved with their thought and creative process - again, intense. again, she bonds through art - but she will back off if asked.

I want to talk about specifically about Eve and the way she offers words of affirmation when she notices that someone she cherishes might feel awful about themself. Maybe you're having a bad day, maybe it's seasonal depression, maybe you're beating yourself up over a mistake.

And she knows what it's like to be in that mindset. And she knows how hard it is to get out of it, and how easy it is to stay there.

No matter the case, Eve notices the second she sees you. And from that point forward, it's fucking OVER for you.

She's attentive, so she will sit there and listen for as long as you need her to, to get everything off your chest. But the SECOND you give her time to speak? Eve will start to talk about all the things she admires about you, the things you do that inspire her, all the ways in which you've helped her change, all the small details that you've rubbed off on her - either in your gestures or way of speech - and how you've influenced her life in ways she could never dream of. Romantic or platonic, you can hear just how desperate she is to remind you how much you and your existence matters - maybe not in the whole scheme of things, but to the people you've managed to touch and reach out to, like her.

And sure, she might start to project a little halfway through her speech, and she might say very flowery metaphors that go right over your head, and her voice might start to shake and tremble, and it might be the most embarrassing thing to hear - but you can see how passionate and genuine she is. It's almost like she's talking about her favorite work of art, about whatever artistic movement she's gotten obsessed with lately.

At some point, you realize this isn't Eve trying to make you see yourself the way she sees you, but Nadia struggling to communicate how much you mean to her in a way that makes sense.

Because Nadia wants to know there's people like her out there in the world - but she would never want this loneliness that follows and defines her to ever reach you or any of her loved ones.

[italeean]

HELLO THIS IS RANDO TO ELLE I REPEAT RANDO TO ELLE, OVER!! I HOPE YOU ARENT BEING DROWNED OUT WITH REQUESTS FOR THE MILESTONE EVENT (IF SO PLEASE DONT FEEL PRESSURED TO DO MINE, AND MAKE SURE TO TAKE LOADS OF BREAKS WHEN NEEDED!!) ALSO I APOLOGISE FOR THE ALL CAPS I DO THIS WHEN I’M EXCITED OR JUST ENTHUSIASTIC IN GENERAL!

SO FOR THE EVENT:

THE NAME’S RANDO, BUT YA KNOW THAT ALREADY,

I’M SUPER LOUD AND LOVE FUN EXCITING STUFF, THOUGH I CAN ALSO GET SCARED EASY- AND I LIKE PERFORMING ARTS (ESPECIALLY SINGING, HIPHOP DANCE, AND MUSICAL THEATRE) OR ARTS IN GENERAL AND PRANKS AND PARTIES AND IM BASICALLY A GREMLIN HDJDHSKS-

I AM ALSO A LEE BUT SHHH YOU DIDNT HEAR THAT FROM ME-

FOR THE FANDOM, EITHER GENSHIN OR BUNGO STRAY DOGS- I DON’T MIND WHICH!

AND ALSO I’D PREFER PLATONIC AND A DUDE CAUSE THE B IN BRO GOTTA STAND FOR BESTIES >:D

ANYWAYS THAT WAS PROBABLY A LOT BUT I HOPE YOU’RE DOING WELL AND HAVE HAD A GOOD WEEK SO FAR!!

ANYWAYS THIS WAS RANDO, OVER AND OUT-

RANDOOOO MY DEAR!!! IT'S BEEN SO NICE TO SEE YOUR REQUEST POPPING UP IN MY ASK BOX 🥹 About how many requests I have, I can officially say that I passed the 20 requests!! 😸 Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy the match I gave you... I chose BSD as a fandom hehe ❤️🍡 *some dango for my #1 Itto stan* P.S. You better have slept properly, or else.

🔮 For the match-up, your pair is... RANPO

🔮 Why did I choose him for you?

• SAME GREMLIN ENERGY, THAT'S THE FIRST REASON • I can see you getting the zoomies together after having an overdose of sugar... poor Kunikida would take a sick leave probably hehe~ • You two would probably fall together into Yosano or Dazai's tickly clutches... or maybe both of them at the same time • I can imagine you two (lovingly) bullying the life out of poor Poe... he'd get wrecked at least twice a week • Ranpo is always honest (even blunt and cheeky at times) so he would always give you a honest feedback about your singing, dancing or theatrical performances... you can always trust his judgment • I'm imagining you creating a song with a couple of lines about every member of the Agency hahahaha • Maybe someone would even get revenge on you two if you made his lines comical enough (ahem Kunikida *cough cough*) • The detective would probably have fun with giving you jumpscares... maybe even tickly jumpscares~ • PLAYFIGHTS WITH KENJI AND ATSUSHI. PERIOD. • You could have a "bro/bestie night" with a nice movie, maybe a comedic murder mystery, and a huge pile of sweets!!! • You could give yourself a silly bros nickname, like THE RANS, since your names both start with RAN • Ranpo probably wins both tickle fights against you, thanks to his observation skills and his great memory. He'd remember each and every one of your weaknesses...

🔮 Tickle scenario

The Agency was completely quiet for once. Dazai and Kunikida were on a mission together, just like Kenji and Tanizaki, Naomi was out shopping with Kyouka, Yosano was buying more bandages and a new chainsaw, the President was having a negotiation with Mori, Atsushi was out "fighting" Akutagawa and Ranpo was on a crime scene.

Which means that when you arrived at this building, you found no one to welcome you. You sighed, although you didn't get mad, you knew that your friends were out doing their job... so you decided to use that time to explore around the building.

You went around and checked everyone's desks, making your heart skip a beat when you almost knocked over a pen holder on Kunikida's perfectly tidy and organized desk, and in the end you found it. The treasure. Your eyes literally lighted up at the sight: you had found Ranpo's stack of sweets.

You genuinely wondered how Ranpo was able to eat all that sugar without getting sick, but a rumble in your stomach made you snap back to reality. You were hungry, but you couldn't eat those sweets... you knew how jealous the detective was of his food, so you decided not to touch anything.

...

After an hour, the pile of candy was complete gone, and you gulped when you heard the door open and the sound of approaching steps. It wasn't your lucky day. Before you could even think about hiding the evidence of your hideous crimes, Ranpo appeared before you.

"AAAAAHH I'm so disappointed! The case was so easy that I spotted the culprit from afar! I didn't even get to use my ability! Seriously, isn't there an intelligence test to become a policeman?" The detective was clearly grumpy, so he did the thing that usually cheered him up, which was eating sweets to his heart's content.

However, his frown deepened when he found his stack completely gone and the wraps all scattered around the floor. "Rando..." The detective looked at you with a piercing gaze, even putting on his glasses, "do you know where my candy went? "I... you... no... I mean... I didn't... well... I WAS HUNGRY!!!" You couldn't lie at all, especially to the greatest detective of all times.

"Now I'm hungry! What am I supposed to eat, huh?" If you hadn't been so nervous, you would've probably noticed the playfully ominous glint in your best friend's eyes. "Erm... I... I think Kunikida left s-some raw veggies in the fridge..?"

"EEEEEEEHHH VEGGIES??? BLEH! HOW DARE YOU?! YOU'RE GONNA GET IT!!" The green-eyed guy jumped on you, but you managed to put your hands on his shoulders and push him off... Or so you thought.

When you raised your arms, two fingers immediately wormed under your arms, thoroughly digging in the very center of your underarms. "KYAAAHAHEHEHEHE RAHAHAHANPO WAIHIHIHIT NOOOO!!!" You were immediately reduced to a laughing mess, but Ranpo showed no mercy.

On the contrary, he moved his hands and made you think he had decided to spare you and let it slide for once, but right after you breathed a sigh of relief, twenty wiggling fingers descended on your poor tummy.

"WAAAAHHAHAHAHAHA NOHOHOHO RAHAHANPOHOHO NAHAHAT THIHIHIS!!!" You begged, wishing your thin cotton shirt could protect you better from the pokes, pinches, scribbles and spiders that were targeting your midriff.

"Yes, this! You deserve it for eating my secret stack of sweets! Hmph!!" He huffed while he started circling your belly button. "NONONOHOHOHOHO BROHOHO PLEAHAHASE LEHEHET'S TAHAHALK ABOHOHOUT THIHIHIS..!" As soon as you understood where his finger was going, you started pleading and squirming, making the tickly feeling even worse (or better).

"You should've thought about it before eating my snacks... now I'm gonna dig and get them back!" The brunette exclamation as his finger found your bellybutton and started wiggling extra quickly, as if it was digging in your poor belly.

"AAAAAAAAAHAHHAHAEHEHHEHE NAH- NAHAHAHAHAHAHA NOHOHOT THIHIHIS PLEHEHEAHASEEE" It surprised you how mean a cute guy like Ranpo could be, but there you were, squirming like a little worm, trying in vain to escape your tickly fate.

But alas, your yelling, squirming, pleading and begging fell on deaf ears. Only when your laughter went silent and you asked him to stop, Ranpo actually ceased his assault. "Are you okay?" The detective asked while handing you a glass of water "Sorry if I overdid it..."

"Don't worry, I'm fine, and well... it was deserved hehe" You gave him an embarrassed smile and scratched the back of your head, "Now... shall we go buy more candy and annoy Poe?"

"YAY! LET'S GOOO!!!"

[rawliverandgoronspice]

My time to invade 👏 2. Anything that you'd like to write but feel like you're unable to?

10. Top three favourite fic tropes. 28. Any writing advice that works for you and you feel like sharing? 40. Write a 9-word fic. (Because SOMEONE inflicted this on me so I must inflict it on someone else)

Invade away!! (even though that LAST ONE!!!!)

2. Anything that you'd like to write but feel like you're unable to?

So I mentioned romance/smut, and it's not like I absolutely want to write that well (it's fine to have an uneven writing skillset I think) as much as I feel like that's a missing tool in my trusted toolbox of putting characters in Situations and examine their reaction. And as much as I know myself capable of writing characters isolating themselves and breaking down over time, and the occasional bonding moments and even potential recovery and rekindling of trust and genuine connexion that may ensue (I am an angst writing through and through u_u), I have a hard time letting characters being plainly happy and enjoying themselves and being vulnerable without being punished for it in some way. And it's a shame, because I love when authors manage to pull you alongside a genuinely good time and making you feel like you're building precious memories that will stay with you forever alongside the characters living through them. I'd like to be able to do more of that, and with less effort! Or just, plain unpunished vulnerability. I think that would be nice!

10. Top three favourite fic tropes.

Hmmm in general I'm open to everything as long as it's good, but I guess if I had to pick...

I'd say Hurt/Comfort, I had pretty transcendant experiences reading really good Hurt/Comfort fics that kickstarted a lot of wonderful things in my real actual life, so.

Found Family Tropes (or just platonic/friendship bonds being explored in general, when it's well written it can be so incredibly excellent)

Experimental Bullshit. Aka plays with the formatting, temporality, point of view, crossmedia stuff... If you take fanfic as a genre/format and make it an active part of the text, I am kissing you on the top of your head.

28. Any writing advice that works for you and you feel like sharing?

I think my core advice is pretty generic and maybe stupid, but embracing it helped me a lot so here it goes: there's no good or incorrect way to write. As long as it makes sense to your specific brain, it couldn't matter less whether it happens prettily or not. I tend to write completely out of order, sometimes across an entire project and sometimes in the same scene. I tend to write all of my dialogue at once, then put "//" and highlight it in yellow where I need to come back and add more text. It looks like hell. But I don't care: my brain feels constricted by linearity, so it makes sense, and so I let it happen and I actually write things instead of letting weird expectations about how one "should" write slow me down unnecesserily. It's been particularly helpful in cases where I actually *have* to write and can't afford a writer's block because of a deadline, etc. It's important to try stuff out and accept "bad" habits if they are actually just your own natural rythm.

40. Write a 9-word fic.

(argggh)

(okay so all of my attempts ended up at 12 words for SOME REASON so here's to the best I could do.)

Tetra promised the shore this time would be different.

(and another attempt (MidZel-adjacent!!! I tried!!!!), where I pulled an insane cheat but it wouldn't have fit otherwise I'm sorry ;;)

Lips dusted with mirror-shards, Zelda murmured: I know why.

[cicadaknight]

tag game (horizon)

tagged by @artekai 💕🤝💖 thanks, pal!

1. ride or die ship: fashav/kotallo straight to my grave. mythological tragedies, those two, i tell you what.

2. most annoying ship: the boat aloy takes to san francisco. can you imagine, never rowing before in your life and making that trek through choppy currents and storms? insufferable.

3. second favorite ship: aloy/kotallo. the parallels of aloy and kotallo being forced into roles they never wanted, being alone and outcast from their tribes, moving through their grief and rage by learning to trust a new found family? being seen by another for more than their physical prowess but their humanity and creativity? excellent shit.

4. favorite platonic relationship: SYLENS AND BETA AND GAIA. Sylens getting taken down a fucking peg or two by a teenage girl and an infinitely compassionate AI. Beta being able to collaborate with someone (and an AI) who sees well beyond her mistakes and faults. GAIA finding consistent, complex companions who remind her fondly of Lis. Sylens making Beta food and teaching her how to cook. HELP ME.

5. Underrated ship: So many. I really love Aloy/Drakka. The idea of him being such a counter to Aloy’s single-minded focus on saving the world by being an absolute goober. But her seeing that he cares so very deeply about doing the right thing and protecting his people. Alva/Beta is sweet. I dig Erend/Talanah.

6. overrated ship: the odyssey. just kidding, i already made a joke about a boat.

7. one thing i would change in canon: the entire last act? specifically varl’s death, that kotallo doesn’t fly to the grove with aloy, that aloy ends the entire tenakth/regalla conflict via single combat duel, and then fights alone twice more with erik and tilda. RIP all the build up to aloy understanding that she’s not alone and all the people in her life are as competent and complex and have just as much stake in the fate of the world as she does. and beyond that, i deeply regret the way they wrote talanah in hfw. she shoulda had that fourth bunk in the base.

8. something canon did right: don’t get me wrong, i wish fashav hadn’t died at barren light, but i love his back story and everything we find out through his journals. added so much nuance to carja and tenakth cultures and characters in just a handful of paragraphs.

9. a thing i’m proud of creating for the fandom: i’ve been in a perpetual state of burnout for yeeeeeears. this kotallo portrait was the first piece i’ve drawn in ages. i’m also working on a bookbinding project and doing art for Kotallo with amazing folks on Focus on the Heart.

10. a character who is perfect to me: Hekarro. I hope the writers, animators, and actor who made him come to life are very proud of their work.

11. character i relate to most and why: uhhh like every other neurodivergent queer with trauma and parental issues, i gotta go with beta.

12. character(s) i hate most and why: tekkoteh. absolute steaming pile of shit. genuinely every time i think i’ve reached peak hatred for that slime, someone writes a beautiful fic where i find myself despising him more. in my interpretation, there’s no world where he didn’t take advantage of, manipulate, and abuse kotallo after his parents died.

13. something i’ve learned from the fandom: awww this is cheesy, but i learned how to take a chance and post things i make again. most people are so curious and so excited to discuss lore or characters in good faith. oh, recently i did discover i missed MANY post-mission dialogues for side quests on my first few playthroughs.

14. three tags i seek out on ao3: i’m guaranteed to get drawn into anything re: kotallo and fashav’s early marshal days, lis character development, aloy/kotallo hurt/comfort (sue me)

15. a song i associate strongly with my otp/favorite character: i made this playlist based off this fic. it’s basicallg my score for fashav and kotallo falling in love during their marshal duties. instants by skúli sverrisson and anything by hermanos gutiérrez sends me into pondering fashav and kotallo’s lives together.

i’m gonna tag @poulticepurse @fogsblue @rowanisawriter @ayaitch @robo-dino-puppy if y’all wanna do this?

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

Curious but who's your most favourite ship? One cannon and one non cannon

Hmm...

I don't think I have an all-time-ultimate for this one, because though I enjoy some ships in canon (and non-canon), there are various aspects of them that appeal to me. Some I like purely because of how interesting they are due to character dynamics, and some I think are just wholesome, which are different kinds of appreciations to me. (For the sake of brevity, I'll only be talking about romantic ships, because there's so so many platonic ones that I enjoy.)

But I suppose that:

YamiChar I enjoy because they do have interesting character dynamic to them, if we think about them individually as characters they are, as well as how their backstories come into play. Though Charlotte, as she is seen in canon, seems to be but a blushing mess around Yami, her intended characterization is that of a strong, independent woman, and I see the blushing-mess-iness as an exxageration/or as a visual representation of how she is feeling on the inside (and suppose thus am inclined to think about her as "fanon Charlotte"). But I think that there are so many aspect into this ship, about Charlotte learning that it's not a bad thing to depend onto someone, that one doesn't need to carry every burden alone, that it's okay to love someone, that it's okay to be honest with what you feel. And Yami, might or might not, see beyond that façade, but he respects her for what she can do. He thinks highly of her, because she is strong, and she does stand up for what she believes in. And, in a way, in the way Clover as a society is constructed, they are both "outsiders". Yami is a foreigner, which makes his outsidedness obvious, but Charlotte, as a woman has had to fight for her position harder than an noble man with the same amount of mana would. They both have had to prove themselves, and they could be considered as kindred spirits in that aspect. But they are also wholesome. Because Yami is just a good guy, doing his thing, and she falls in love with that. With Yami, wanting to be good, just for the sake of being good; out of wanting to help. And for Yami, I think he loves Charlotte for her strength, her passion to help those in need, and fending for what she believes in. But I also don't think that in canon, Yami quite yet dares to admit that he loves her, because I don't think he thinks that he deserves her yet. (Actually, I wouldn't be surprised, if we get a almost-love-confession during a battle of the final arch, in which Yami says something like "I said that I have something I need to tell you after this is all over, so I'll surpass my limits here and now (so that I can tell it to you)".

With Astelle, I really do enjoy the self-reflective element of Noelle coming into terms with her feelings. She recognizes, and is able to admit to herself, that she really does have feelings for Asta. And she also sees Asta as the good guy that he is, with a passion for helping people around him, even though Asta could be seen as the least fortunate out of them (because he doesn't have mana; and emphasis on "could be seen"). While Asta sees her for who she is. He sees how she's trying to better herself, and how she isn't afraid to jump into action when she needs to defend someone. Because that's the kind of a person she is deep down. Actually, there are very similar aspects to both of these ships (YamiChar and Astelle), which is probably why I enjoy them.

Moving on to non-canon ships, I think that... my favourite non-canon ships are OC ships (and because they belong to my moots, I'm biased about them, I'll give you that.)

I really love @loosesodamarble 's Nachsele ship, because it's... it's two broken people loving each other, and they're building their relationship through the hardships thrown at them. I think that their story is about strength, devotion, genuine emotion, and choosing to love each through the ups and downs of life.

And though it's been a while since I last talked about it, I'm fond of @lyranova 's YuNeva ship, because, again, there's two people who struggle to express themselves verbally, but because there is that similarity to them, they are able to understand each other. They're able to connect and genuinely understand the other. They're both driven and caring, and they're striving for their own goals while standing by each other.

If we go for a non-canon CCxCC ship, then... I suppose my favourite would be... Well, last year I saw some Julius x Mereo art and I did think that as a crack-ship (so not serious in any way, but entertainable just for the lols) it could be interesting. They both wanted to be out to explore the world, they were both strong and independent. But now because of what the final arch revealed, I'm not sure how I feel about it. Lucius stirs things up, but suppose for enemies-to-lovers -trope enjoyers it could be interesting.

(As an honourable mention Yosuga x Mereo, though it could become a canon one, since it's implied.)

Thank you for the question ^^

[suebin]

time to analyze this fic bc it’s my new obsession. i kid u not, i’d written smthn similar to this before & ended up deleting it bc it didn’t translate the way i wanted it to. now THIS is how it should’ve been .. like this is perfectly how i’d envisioned that idea

“you’re not sure when your heart decided without your consent to flip the switch from platonic to romantic”

UGH i love this so much like i love this line. it sounds so beautiful and poetic and what ur heart always does—love, even if there are consequences to if

to add, i love the entire asking her to prom scene bc it’s so romantic in their own way and the whole ghosting over your waist to actually holding it for a few seconds before switching back like you know he’s nervous. and you know there Has to be a reason for why he’s so nervous

“if i’m with you, always”

“hold tight, i’ll be yours again in a minute.”

i particularly love that second line bc it makes u feel so giddy and so happy until you continue reading and realize that he won’t be yours in a minute actually. he was slowly captivated by someone else in that short time away, and he will continue to not be yours for the years to come

“that’s just how it was, and that’s how it would always be, because seungmin fell for the other girl in his arms a week later”

I LOOOOOOOOVED reading this so much. just a single sentence and it was able to properly convey the angst and the Hurt

“he asks about you all the time”

this exchange with hyunjin is probably my second favorite of the entire fic (my favorite is the talk with seungmin) bc it’s so sad and so Real bc imagine having a best friend you’d spent the entire high school with and made a promise to keep in touch and to never forget each other ☹️ and then be forgotten and you don’t even know why but you continue to make the effort to talk to them .. to reach out .. to ask about your life. i love this detail so much because it shows seungmin cares like he still cares and he will always care. another fav line is “i’m the closest he’ll ever get to you these days” that is such a heartbreaking line and i love it bc it’s so real. like i can def see it happening everywhere in the world when someone suddenly cuts u off and u have to resort to a shared friend to know how they’re doing

“he found you right away like he was looking for you and only you”

solidifying when hyunjin said he’d only go if yn went. like UGHHHHH i love this fic sm and how it connects ltrly every dingle moment i loved reading about and the whole he keeps looking over here .. like i understand seungmin sm

“gimme a sec. the city doesn’t get a view like this, y’know?”

ok not related much to their love but i particularly found this line so personal to me bc i go to school in the big city and the stars are almost never there and i remember spending nights being so sad bc i missed home and i missed how the stars looked

OK NOW TO THE SEUNGMIN YN TALK my phone is lagging now btw bc i’m typing so much. i love how seungmin jumped straight to ask why such an important person in bis life left him like that. i understand his HURT and i love the “you know what i do? i call hyunjin, and it hurts.” like that whole segment.

i also love the promise flashback bc seungmin talks about yuna like a boyfriend to a girlfriend so u have a clear view of his character and that he’s a good person and he’s loyal to who he’s with at the moment which makes it HURT MORE bc it wouldn’t be as sad if u could tell he had some sort of hidden intentions with his feelings. it’s genuinely just a best friend missing his other half and also being a good boyfriend like omg i’m all over the place

“have you ever been in love?”

also loved this segment. reminded me of this draft i have of two characters asking this question to each other so it felt very familiar to read this and the whole build up btw to “because you loved yuna” was just brilliant

“i need to know if you loved the wrong guy or you loved me at the wrong time”

MY FAVORITE FUCKING LINE OF THE WHOLE FIC LIKE EVERYONE 😭😭 this is a writer like this is just genius and brilliant ugh this line will stick with me forever

ok so to sum it all up, i love this fic and will forever think about this now and have it be a standard when i’m doing my own writing bc i wanna be able to connect the whole premise of my fic like this. i wanna be able to write as beautifully WAHHHH

sundial | kim seungmin

genre: kim seungmin x fem!reader | light angst ; friends-to strangers-to lovers ; high school/college/spring break au ; mentions of alcohol ; swearing summary: you’re in love with seungmin at the wrong time. wc: 9.6k

“Oh, my God, finally.”

Inside the posh coffee shop in the middle of downtown, Hyunjin sat at one of the tables impatiently awaiting your arrival. Of course you were late, how could you not be when he chose a place to meet up that was closer to his campus than yours!? And during the lunch rush, of all times. He always had a habit of choosing places or ideas that were more convenient to him, but he offered to pay, so it was an offer you couldn’t refuse. The clout you got for hanging out with his stupidly handsome ass was a plus for your social media points, too, so fine, you’ll hang out with him.

Hyunjin had his glasses hanging on the tip of his nose and shot you a sassy glare that reminded you of when your high school teachers would look at you both when you walked into class late because he had to fix his hair in the bathroom.

“Sorry I’m late.”

“No, you’re not,” he scoffed. “What took you so long?”

“I saw this trash bag on the side of the road and I thought it looked just like you, so I stopped and took a picture. Uncanny resemblance, right?” you teased, showing him the trash bag on your phone.

“You think you’re so funny, huh?”

“I’m hilarious.”

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