#i dont think theyre joking with the shit i tell them

[mimikyvvnz]

treat me gently and love me like i'm fragile

[skrunksthatwunk]

im finally going to replay y0...

[shrimp1y]

Every moment that ggf doesnt blow up is a blessing I think. Like I'm like damn I wish for some virality! And less than a second later im like no that would be a terrible idea. This might sound like that fox who want the grapes but bc its outta reach he says its green but do remember my accounts are very hackable and I gptta do smth about that before the internet gets its grippers on me

[chooey]

kinda came out (?????????) to an old middle school friend i dont really keep up with much i dont know if that was wise

[phagodyke]

friends are making plans to go stay with each other but it's the weekend I'm going to see my favourite band. the universe fucking hates me

[sadacon]

Ehhh tag rant, tw for emotional neglect? I think.

[larnax]

[ id:

1: a water-filter screenshot of a bumper sticker with the USA flag behind a possum reading "True patriots brake for America's only native marsupial"

2: tags reading "#some usamerican leftists want to be chauvinistic but can't do it normally because of optics #So instead they do this weird obsession over nature like Appalachia or possums or redwood trees #or mt rainier or cascadia or whatever else #they do this with the imperial system sometimes as well though not as often #the less conscious ones also take up fucking institutions like usps or the national parks or amtrak #and it's not being playful or a simple enjoyment of things of your (very fucked up) country #they make them into symbols and rallying cry #usamerican anarchists love to use a possum for their artwork for example #and yeah i guess it's neat that it's america's only marsupial #but by bringing these things into your political aesthetic you just come off as weirdly chauvinistic over random things #and yes it's different from other countries #especially non-imperial core ones #because the character of your nationalism #even the cutesy half-joking type #rests on the overt shoulders of actual "overt" chauvinism"

/ end ]

north american possum voted most chauvinistic mammal.

[kings-highway]

pre-relationship bullshit haikyuu teams probably had to put up with before various ships managed to get their shit together

daisuga probably was really annoying with like small/petty jealousy, like a girl would hit on one of them and the other would be standing behind their back making faces about it and mocking it and everyone else on the team just has to put up with it. and then theyre all overly sweet to each other to make up for the petty jealousy or some odd version of "winning them back" after the flirting event and the team is rolling their eyes *so hard*

i think asanoya is so annoying bc nobody can convince Asahi that Noya likes him. Like full stop. Eventually someone pulls him aside and is point blank like "Noya said he has a crush on you ask him out" and Asahi is just like: "Haha he was probably joking" and just leaves the scene. Like the absolute refusal to believe it from Asahi combined with Noya's classic teen boy inability to be sincere means that even after theyve both been told they somehow still havent gotten together??? how long is this going to take???

tsukkiyama probably ruins everyone's week the week before they get together bc one of them *saw* a confession letter stuck into the other's bag and absolutely went (emotionally) off the rails for the days leading up to them discovering it was for them.

I am fully of the camp that iwaoi start dating before they label it/make it official so the whole team is screaming like "PLEASE HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT IT" meanwhile Oikawa is saying "we just went on a few dates and kissed a few times it doesnt mean anything" and Iwa is in the background shouting "yeah I dont wanna be anyone's boyfriend that's lame" and then they wander off to go eat dinner together holding hands and the team is left in frustration because ALL they talk about is how theyre *not* in a relationship.

for bokuaka its mostly just Bokuto pestering every goddamn person he knows for like 4 months asking "do you think Akaashi likes me?" or "do you think he'd say yes if I asked him out?" and then one day making Konoha *snap* when he says "I need to tell you a secret" and the secret is that he has a crush on Akaashi as if nobody had known that

with ushiten I imagine Tendou was probably really obvious with his crush/interest but in like a very casual "not taking myself too seriously" kind of way so he's comfortable openly flirting, and Ushijima, against everyone's expectations, doesnt seem to mind the attention but is still who he is, so the whole team just has to put up with the most INSANE interactions. Like Tendou walks into the locker room and cat calls him and Ushijima just replies with a formal "thank you" and Semi is contemplating slamming his head in a locker. There's like 12 months of this.

okay okay but I think arankita is *very classic* in that Aran compensates for his crush by over-supporting Kita. so like the whole team gets super annoyed bc Aran wont risk disagreeing with him, is always offering to do extra work, is generally just sucking-up really badly and the twins suffer the most for this bc Aran used to just ignore their antics but now he's super annoyingly on them all the time to try and impress Kita

kuroken is a little different. Yaku asks Kuroo every single day if he's asked Kenma out yet. Lev asks Kenma if he has a crush on Kuroo every chance he gets. Fukunaga gives them a wink when they leave practice to walk home together. This is the only pairing in which the team is the irritant pre-relationship and then post-relationship everyone loses interest and moves on.

I'd include kagehina but once again the entire goddamn show is everyone putting up with them flirting so whats the point.

[brekkie-e]

I know i know i know it cant be changed there were reasons it couldn't happen i get it

But no Cassandra hunting down Solas with Varric??? NO CASSANDRA SEEKING?? SEEKER CASSANDRA NOT SEEKING? I HATE IT HERE.

Also like tell me it wouldn't have been beautiful to see the two of them working together willingly as a team? Where they started where they ended type shit. It all began with her interrogating him to help her find a hero. Now theyre working together to find the villian. Their mutual friend.

If Solas still kills Varric in this au-ification of events think of how fucked up that would be for Cass. Watching her two friends do that to eachother. All these years of pretending to hate his jokes, and he's dying in her arms. She lives with the fact that she dragged him in to this. She pulled him from the Hanged Man. She dragged him across Thedas. She is the reason he met Solas. She threatened to execute him all those years ago. But she marked him for death anyway.

And i geeeet it. She can be divine. Yadda yaddaa yadda. But she aint MY divine. Which means in my universe she's just?? Got better things to do i guess? I dont believe it.

[pansy-picnics]

A vat7k related question.

What do you think is Hugo's gender identity? Cus I want to hear what you think Hugo's gender is and the story behind it.

EHEHEHE personally i think she’s genderfluid and uses he/she/they pronouns…….I think he was kind of an uncracked egg up until the trials though. like, he’s been in survival mode for so long that he’s never had the time or luxury to really think about himself or his identity….i think he’s had a lot of different disguises over his career though, and those personas are either male or female depending on what the situation calls for so he’s not a stranger to dressing femininely either.

but yeah…i think for a long time hugo just identified as male by default cuz like…what else would he be LOL. if he had any doubts at all they weren’t significantly hindering him or anything so he just buried them with all the other of the emotions he doesn’t want to feel. but like the closet is made of GLASS and this becomes especially obvious when she teams up with 3 other teenagers who are also transgender so sometimes she’ll just Say Shit and they all turn around and look at her like “…….🤨”

i have this very vivid scene in my head where varian comes out to the gang as trans and hes clearly really uneasy abt it. and hugo doesn’t know what to say so he just tries to relate by saying the first thing that comes to mind and goes “oh yeah i get it i mean. sometimes i wish i was a girl but like not all the time yk” and nuru and varian both just stop and stare at him

hugo, getting nervous: …Sorry that’s probably not the same thing forget i said anything

nuru: No i think we should talk about this?

anyways yeah….other than her traveling party giving her some weird looks nothing actually really came of these conversations bc hugo would refuse to think about herself even if you put a gun to her head

fast forward to post-trials though, and hugo’s been living in the castle with varian for about six months…it was REALLY messy for both of them while she was adjusting, but at this point shes finally started to let her guard down a little, and all of a sudden she has SO much free time and she has no idea what to do with any of it. she’s stealing collecting things, tinkering with all kinds of useless little gadgets, rapunzel is teaching her tons of little arts and crafts projects. overall shes pretty content despite everything. So anyways then the gender crisis hits them like a fucking freight train

honestly i’m like half joking when i say i think it started bc they just kept forgetting to cut their hair. like one day they looked in the mirror and they’re like “wow my hairs getting so long i kinda look like a girl lol. Wait”

AND AS FUNNY AS IT IS ITS SO. WILDLY UNFAMILIAR TO THEM. like all of a sudden theyre SO insecure for as far as they can tell, NO reason and it drives them CRAZY. i dont even think that hugo dislikes their masculine features after coming out, i think they embrace them if anything but its just like…going from 0 to 100 so fast and suddenly being so hyper aware of themselves in a way that they NEVER were before…having to realize that they’re definitely Not cis. it’s fucking TERRIFYING!!!

not to mention it hits him all at once during a time when he’s still frankly really paranoid about him and varian’s relationship, and he’s kinda walking on eggshells bc deep down he’s convinced that var’s just gonna get tired of him eventually and kick him out. its like he’s just waiting for the final nail in the coffin despite the fact that there is literally no coffin.

All that being said i think it takes him a while to work up the courage to talk to varian about it. and he knows he won’t like. hate him for being trans or anything (I sure hope he wouldn’t, at least, seeing as he is literally also trans) but varian’s already done SO much for him and helped him through literally everything already….he doesn’t want to burden him any more than he already has. he also cant comprehend that someone can just Like him, like, as a person, so he’s convinced himself that varian must see something specific in him right now and he’s afraid that if he changes himself drastically in any way then whatever varian saw in him just. won’t be there anymore. If that makes sense

as for who he actually goes to first- honestly i think it’d have to be lance. at least in my head lance was the first person hugo really started to bond with aside from varian….he didn’t start letting his guard down with rapunzel until quite a while after that. also i think he’s worried that if he tells rapunzel she’d end up accidentally spilling something to varian (which is like. Valid bc she’s a horrible liar) he’d definitely write a letter to nuru, too, but nuru is also in another kingdom, and that message takes a while to get to her, so it’s more something they talk about after the fact

when he finally does get a letter back after dumping this revelation on her it’s just like

“dearest hugo. upon reading your letter i desperately wanted to tell you that i told you so, but i realize that would be in poor taste, seeing as you are clearly struggling right now. Moreover,-“ /j

regardless of who she tells first, they obviously all support her and encourage her to talk to varian as well…And ofc varian hypes her up to no end when she finally does. i wanna say it’s a sweet emotional scene but i feel like varian was also under the assumption that she figured out the gender thing like a year ago /j

hugo: ,,,,so like. i don’t think i’m a guy

varian: . yeah?

hugo:

hugo: TFYM “YEAH”?????!!!!???

varian: D. DID WE NOT ALREADY KNOW THIS?

hugo: ,???? NO???!!???!

jokes aside though as soon as hugo does decide he wants to explore his presentation more varian immediately consults rapunzel who gets WAY too excited about it and it kind of scares hugo a little bit. /j like Do you want to cut your hair? Dye it? Do you want new piercings? TATTOOS????

they eventually just settle on getting her a few new pieces to add to her wardrobe and that works out fine. varian sees his girlfriend in a dress and loses his mind etc etc. All is right in the world

[thesimulacrasimp]

Okay, I literally just watched a spooky month short and i wanna kinda break it down a lil bit, cuz we learned ALOT through it. Again, sorry for my terrible english 😭🙏

Okay so in this shot we see Kevins parents (rlly cute) and we see "Rad's bday" on calendar (which is apparently in september, knowing that Kevin started working in candy club in the same month), that means that he knew Radford for a long time, even before he started working in candy club.

Okay, thats really funny, but when Skid and Pump appeared in this short with different masks i was like: "YOOO they finally revealed their hair styles. Wow these fan predictions were really close!" until i remembered that their hair styles were already revealed a long time ago in the house pictures.....

Okay so through Pump we now know that Skids father is dead. Not missing, not left - dead. <= another question that have been answered.

Lila looks so tired, poor soul (SHE EVEN WALKING IN THE STREETS IN SLIPPERS 😭)

Ok, now its my fav part. We saw all the moments w Skid and Pump in candy club. First part of it were just the moments that we have already seen or that have been mentioned (like when Skid n Pump got alot of fake blood in the place), there were also some others moments weve never seen, but i dont think theyre really important since they all happened before even eps 4 and 5, so i dont think i need to break them down (especially because of this stupid fuCKING PICTURE LIMIT—) BUT! The things i WANT TO talk about are all the things that happened after ep 6 - the things we still havent got to. And if its actually the foreshadowing (is that the right word for that?...) for what will happen in the future eps then its kinda a dissapointing cuz we got spoiled, and FUCKING AMAZING at the same time, like I have VERY mixed feelings about this, but i more like it than hate it tbh. SO im gonna break these things down like they are actual spoilers for future episodes, but that can be not true, who knows.

Okay, the first thing we see after ep 6 is another winter situation (the hole from Moloch is still there 😭) w hatzgang, Skid n Pump, and Susie, while the whole place was acreeting w some weird roots w eyes?? Then i suppose Roy was tormenting the poor kids as always, and Susie got mad at him and left, and then Rob and Ross did the same thing while Roy looked offended n pissed (which i cant show you becuz of a FUCKING LIMIT—)

Then, Lila, Jaune, John and Jack came to the candy club. I cant really tell what couldve happened, but Lila n Jaune looked really mad, and then STARTED ARGUE FOR SOME REASON, like I literally have no idea what couldve happened, it could be anything.

Then there was a literal fnf scene, like an actual rap battle between the spooky bois and bf (which i also cant show you, CAN U GUESS WHY?? :) ). I honestly think that this is a simple joke and nothing more, but who knows, maybe it will actually happen in spooky month, that would be pretty cool.

Okay, then the Spider. Like, we already all knew that its gonna be an episode vilian at some point, so its not really surprising honestly. Really curious how its gonna be portrated tho, like what is it gonna do, what its motives and goals are gonna be, what characterization are a LITERAL SPIDER gonna get - its all really interesting.

Then a cult. Also not really surprising tbh, like I think it was obvious that they were gonna get to Kev at some point, interesting why tho. Like how could he be useful or harmful for them? (interesting detail is that after a scene w the cultists Kevin still stayed in the club, so the cult tried to get him but failed? I wonder why and how.)

Okay... MOTHER. FUCKING. SKID'S DAD. HOLY SHIT IM SO EXCITED FOR HIM. If we look at the shot it seems like Skid came here to introduce Kevin to his dad (cute)

And then i suppose Dad got a candy bar for Skid and they both left. Really curious how is Skids dad gonna introduce himself to his son, how Skid is gonna react (well even by these 2 shots we can see that he is really happy, but im more curious about the first reactions, im in for some wholesome fluff please!!!). And Lilas reaction is also reaaaaaally interesting (if she will even know)

And the last shot is this. I also dont think it really means anything (maybe foreshadowing that Kev is gonna die??), the only thing that intrigues me is this sky, like I dont even know what it looks like, some sort of black hole? A fissure? Some ultimate evil that comes from another world? A 4th wall break?? Who fucking knows. But it does look interesting.

And soooo ummmmm idk what else to write, I think i already said everything i wanted to say so.. Bye? Tnx 4 reading?? Ig???

[roseworth]

Can you expand more on the types of the things Dick fans say or do that make you dislike his character?

(context)

the thing about dick grayson is that he is an extremely popular character but the way some people talk about him you would think that hes an unappreciated side character. i think that there are certain fans that need to remember that he has been consistently showing up in comics for 80 years so if hes out of character or left out in one book it shouldnt matter. like im sorry for your loss maybe you can wipe your tears with one of his other 10000 appearances

i feel like any time dick is slightly out of character in a book i see people writing paragraphs about what was wrong with his characterization no matter what the book is. if hes a side character in a book someone will be there to say "um☝️ this is out of character because dick didnt save everyone??? 🤨 why did the main character get the focus instead of dick 🫤" like!!! not everythings about him!!!! and a lot of his fans love that hes an extremely skilled fighter (and im not disagreeing with that!! he definitely is) but because of that they get upset whenever he loses a fight no matter what. even though sometimes to tell a story you need the character to lose sometimes. and i know that a lot of that is because people need to feel the need to defend him after t*m t*ylor wrote him like he was incompetent. but i stg its every time he gets hit someone says "actually this wouldnt happen and this is out of character"

also i feel like people shit on jason and tim fans all the time for stealing traits from female characters and projecting them onto their fav batboy (rightfully so!!) but then i constantlyyyy hear about dick's Eldest Daughter Syndrome and how he represents the female experience or whatever. like i dont have an issue with that on its own, and i think a lot of the people who i see say he has eldest daughter syndrome are people who also talk about women so i dont mind it as much, but there are Other people who basically talk about dick like hes a female character while ignoring the actual women in his stories

speaking of treating him like a female character. im so tired of people saying that the ass jokes are problematic. like dont get me wrong! theyre annoying and unfunny and i dont like them! but some people are convinced that theyre terrible because they objectify him and sexualize him for no reason and etc etc. and the argument i hear over and over is "can you imagine how terrible it would be if they did this to a woman!" like. yeah actually. i dont have to imagine. theyre doing it right now unironically. i think this fictional man will survive if hes drawn with a fat ass sometimes. its not a good thing but there are some people that blow it way out of proportion because "omg why would they do that to him 😨" like i really cannot bring myself to care even a little

plus a lot of his fans will act like hes special in some way in terms of fighting ability or intelligence. and again i do know that he is a great fighter and is very smart!! but hes definitely falling into the same issue that a lot of batman fans have in the sense that they think hes The Greatest To Ever Do It and other characters get put down so dick can be better. so people want to believe that dick can beat anyone in a fight and always wins with prep time. plus there are people that think of him as the perfect character for any situation so there are dick fans going "if dick was there during the utrh confrontation everything wouldve worked out fine 🤗" and "dick actually wouldve killed any character who hurt his friends" and anything like that. because a lot of his fans just want to insist that he is bruce but without all the parts they dont like. toxic nightwing fans are so similar to toxic batman fans but its worse because they dont even think he can have flaws. at least batman fans know he sucks and hates everyone, but nightwing fans say all the great things batman fans say but without any of the issues

anyways. but i think most of the reason that he bothers me has nothing to do with his fans and a lot more to do with dc. just because i really dont care about him. so many comic readers love him so dc will obv appeal to the people that love him. which means that those of us who dont really care about him have to hear about him in every book. like hes just some guy why is he being treated like the most important guy in the world during dark crisis and absolute power. and i have to hear about how hes the heart of the dcu or the glue of the batfamily or whatever else they've said about him. i dont care!!!! at least when its batman being treated like dc's specialest princess all the other characters hate him. since dc thinks that all the readers love him they make it so all the characters love him. and i just dont care about him. im tired of them shaking him in my face and going "its nightwing!!! we all love nightwing!!!! hes the best!!!!!!" i want that twink obliterated

[chaifootsteps]

OMG the scene where Charlie baby talked to Baxter irked me SO bad! Like what are you doing?!? Youre a grown ass adult talking to another grown ass adult, you dont talk to people you just met like that EVER!

Like what was the point of the scene?? To be funny? Cause it isnt, there is no joke, punchline, nothing, its just Charlie being rude to a random stranger that she just met.

Was it to make Charlie look like an "adorkable kawaii potato that LOVES cute little things :3"? Then someone tell Vivziepop that it isnt 2014 anymore and nobody likes these characters, epecially when theyre ADULTS, theyre just really fucking annoying.

This is why i hate the Show's Charlie, they try to sell her as if she is oh-so-nice and the most kind person in the world that CARES about others issue's when she is actually a priviliged bitch that thinks she has the solution to every problem in the world when she doesnt understand shit about other's people's situation nor cares enough to listen to them.

She reminds me to these internet e-celebrities that build their whole image on being wholesome and sweet but then when theyre asked to talk about some societal problem they decilne because "sowy i dont want to bring politics to my channel :3 xoxo".

It would have been interesting if she was written this way on PURPORSE. Like at first her being a naive, rich, priviliged princess that never faced any real problems and thats why she is sure that she can easily solve other's problems by doing what she says, and as the show progresses she starts learning to LISTEN to other's explaining their situation and why the solutions arent as simple as what she was made to belive growing up privileged.

But since Vivziepop lacks any self awareness the show tries to convice us that her ways are the correct ones, and that everyone should do as she says in order to fix everything and that her acting like an ignorant asshole to thers its ok because its "cute :3".

Maybe im just exagerating because im a short person with a baby face who got treated a similar way Charlie talked to Baxter by other adults, and i dont think i need to clarify you should definetely NOT do that to other people like that, like how do people not realize its rude as shit.

Its embarassing how upset i got at this, i hope this show gets cancelled as soon as posible.

Yeah, that was pretty vile. It was that unbearable scene where she forced them to play rhyme-and-clap games all over again, and that other unbearable scene where her idea of redeeming them was putting them in stupid outfits and having them read from scripts.

I hate series Charlie so much.

[tpwk-formula1]

Kinktober Day 17 - Dry Humping - PG10

Pierre Gasly X Reader

TW - Dry humping, slight dirty talk

WC 620+

Y/N POV

"I've missed you so much," I squeal in excitement when I see my boyfriend of 2 years walk through the door after a long triple header.

"I've missed you too, amour," Pierre tells me softly before placing a soft kiss on my lips.

"Don't want you to leave anymore," I joke softly as Pierre pulls me into his arms before lifting me up and letting me wrap my legs around his waist and carry us to our room where he sits in the bed with me still panted right in his lap.

“Missed you so much,” Pierre said, making me smile and pull him in for another kiss.

“I love you,” i whisper against his ear as I start to grind into his waist making his breath stutter a bit.

“Amour, I want you just as much as you want me but I’m exhausted, I dont think it’ll be any good if we have sex right now, but I promise to make it up to you tomorrow,” Pierre grunts out holding my hips in place.

“Just let me do all the work, please! We can stay just like this please! I need to get off Pierre, I need it please,” I beg with tears welling up in my eyes just thinking about not being able to get off another night after I had spent the last 3 weeks completely celibate.

“Fuck, you’re a needy thing tonight! Did you not use any of the toys we picked out,” Pierre grunts when he releases my hips and lets me start humping into him again.

“No! Theyre not as good,” I whine out as I start grinding down into his hard cock even faster.

“Amour, baby you gotta use them!” Pierre chuckles while gripping onto my hips again and moving me down into him at a harder and faster pace than I had set.

“Fuck! Pierre,” i cry out when I feel the rough material rub right against my clit which is only covered by a thin piece of cloth I called my panties.

“Pierre I might actually cum like this,” I admit sheepishly when I feel my orgasm start to build.

"Putain, me too," Pierre grunts clearly feeling the same things I'm feeling.

With the reassurance that Pierre was feeling as good as I was I speed up my actions slightly making both Pierre and I moan at the added pleasure.

"Putain, baby girl, make me feel like I'm back in grade school how fast you're about to make me cum," Pierre gasps out making me grind down on him harder using his words as encouragment.

"Haven't even touched you," I say with a joking smirk but it's quickly wiped off my face when I feel Pierre push me down harder into his lap making me feel his hard cock graze against my clothed clit.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum," I moan out when I finally feel the right amount of pressure.

"Putain, cum for me," Pierre gasps out making me fall over the edge and start cumming completely clothed.

"Fuck, shit," I hear Pierre gasp before I can feel him twitching under me before I can feel a small wet patch start to grow through his clothes letting me know he had cum.

"Fuck, I have cum like that in years," I admit softly making Pierre laugh and nod his head.

"Couldn't even tell you the last time I came completely clothed like that," Pierre admits.

"I really missed you and I couldn't wait another day but tomorrow when you're well rested be prepared," I tell Pierre with a smirk playing on my lips before leaning down and capturing his lips in mine.

"I'm looking forward to it," Pierre admits with matching smirk.

[ghostlyvoidshark]

Could you do some rival Headcanons between epic and cross sans fighting over us? Like every second you cannot breath, each of them trying to one up each other to show who would treat you better. This idea has been floating in my head for a bit, so just wanted to finally request it. (Also, can we be gender neutral? And romantic, obviously) Thank you and have a good day/night! :)

Hello hun! Sorry this took me a little while - I've had to work more than normal recently. But THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!! I thi k this is my first from a non-moot so im so excited to be able to write this for you! I hope you have a lovely day / night as well :D sorry if this isnt that long, im trying to get some confidence in my writing lolol

Epic & Cross x Reader

Cross doesn't like fighting Epic since they are pretty close but this doesn't stop him from getting competitive.

Epic, on the other hand, loves play fighting and competing with Cross! He's not aggressive about it, he just does it for fun.

Cross is usually trying to prove himself worthy of your affection in some way while Epic just likes flirting and making you laugh.

Epic is surprisingly good at flirting but often settles for making you laugh because he loves it so much.

Sometimes Epic flirts with cross too just to fuck with him lmaoo - Cross is always baffled and a mess when it happens. Its pretty funny to watch tbh.

Most people assume youre a polycule. Epic doesnt help dispel that with his flirting. I mean a poly relationship could probably work.

You will never know alone time again if you don't set those boundaries. They're both Clingy!!

Given the chance, Cross will escort you everywhere - hes like your own personal bodygaurd. (You dont know how he knows your schedule so well or how he finds you so easily when going out.)

Epic also shows up a lot. Hes usually the one initiating lunch & dinner dates between y'all. Well, its not obvious theyre dates but they basically are, lmao.

They do try to one up each other but you'll next to never see them fight. You may catch them bickering about who did better, though. Epic likes instigating and Cross can be sassy.

They may have a fight about you once. Other than that they are chill because they're so close and Epic often gets Cross to communicate.

The fight would probably be mostly on Cross. He would get mad that he fell for someone his best friend likes. He would be upset that he "couldn't have someone himself" both because he feels guilty about Epic and for personal issues (he's lost a lot). Then he'd be mad that he thought that way and felt jealous. He wouldn't like how selfish he feels. Epic talks him through it, though. And talks some sense into him :]

Cross may be quiet most of the time but he is hanging around more often than not. He's just sort of ... supervising lol. Its comforting in an odd way. He likes the quality time too.

Sometimes Epic gets you alone, though. He gets you two to do relaxing things together like a picnic or video games.

He can be surprisingly tender and romantic but he will ruin it with a joke after surprising you or flustering you with the romance so cherish the moment while you can. Good luck, too. ;P

Cross is a mixed bag. One moment he's purposely suave and dashing then the next he cant get a sentence out . Its like he has moments of clarity then goes back to being a dork.

On a few occasions they will team up on you. I don't think they would really plan it unless it was your birthday or something special like that. When they do it it's usually just an accident and their moods synced to cause chaos.

When they team up they are menaces! Epic would be all gentle and romantic with flirty, witty remarks while Cross would be the type to guide you by the small of your back, leaning in to tell you things. And you know he'd be saying stuff like he's your personal knight! "I'll always be there for you." || "if you ever need anything just come to me, I'll take care of you." And shit like that.

Augh they would have you cornered but like in a good way. Cross always behind you, making sure you're safe while Epic leads you around by the hand. I hate them. I actually love them damn it.

Sometimes they get needy and steal you away for a while. The dorks.

Epic "kidnaps" you to cuddle up somewhere and read or watch a movie. He's very touchy (respectfully) so if you're okay with it he will be all over you. He especially loves it if you act as his weighted blanket and lay on him.

Cross gets grouchy and takes you somewhere on an "adventure". Most of the time it'll be somewhere without people. If the place has rough terrain he'll likely try to convince you to let him carry you lol. "You got it?" / "you tired?" / "want help?" Any reason to be close or touching you if you'll allow it.

If you're more of a low and mellow energy person he'll set up a special spot where he sets up stuff for one of your hobbies (if he can) somewhere hidden and will hang out with you.

Stars forbid you give only one of them a gift. They won't guilt you or be mean, but they will rub it in the others face subtly. If they're the one who didnt get something then Epic would jokingly act all clingy and pouty while Cross glares at him. Speaking of, Cross would stand closer than normal and Low-key pout if he didn't get something. Like a cat who wants something from you.

If you're the more affectionate, touchy type then you're going to likely always have one of them touching you if they're around. Epic practically hangs off of you while Cross just has a hand on you somehow. They have probably scent marked you, accidentally or not. They just clingy bois.

Also - not in a kinky way - but Cross has a high chance of biting you during prolonged physical contact lol. It's just a quirk of his. Its like cuteness aggression but in a loving way. You can think of it as kisses it a way.

He wouldn't mention it if you dont but it is a good way to fluster him >:3c

As for trying to be better than each other i think they would choose some things you like and try to be "the best" at it?? Like... lets say you collect shells. Suddenly they are finding great shells - in tact and pretty - and giving them to you. Same with trinkets. Or finding weird coffee mugs if you like those.

Epic also is that bitch who has a lot of money and just sugar daddies his friends LMAOO. You want that expensive thing? Dont worry bby hes got it kcjsbsbsb. If hes crushing on you it just gets worse and more ridiculous.

Cross is the one who has dedication to getting you things. So if something is about timing or searching hard for it he's the one to go to. He also just brings you random things like a bird..?? You dont even know where he gets half the stuff he shows up with. You may even just find stuff on a table in your house randomly.

Also, for no apparent reason, kareoke becomes a thing between y'all. You have no choice /j

[icarusredwings]

Finding home Au things that are canon (because I said so, and it's MY au so I can do whatever I want. Send me headcanons, and I'll approve them)

Gambit just got back from the void so he's just now meeting everyone. He looks a little different from how they remember since their gambit really was never a full team mate and rather then just some guy that helped Logan a couple of times. This being said hes meeting Rouge as a 35 year old linguistics teacher for a bunch of brats, flirting with her in the halls, trying to impress her all the time, etc. He wanted to have a cool class like how to use a Bo staff or tutor energy weilding kids but instead got stuck with sex ed. Because of this, he now makes a ton of jokes to Rouge about it (she's across the hall) but actually is really excited to start his cooking elective class this coming fall when he's considered a real team member.

Ororos heals click in the hall like they did when you were a kid and you could tell the principal is coming. She's almost always with a tea or a coffee, walkie talkie and keys jingling. She's very sweet but kids shit their pants if sent to Mrs. Munroes office, meanwhile Mr. Summers office is a nothing, just a lecture and a slap on the wrist. Aint no one actually scared of lasik because they know thw worst theyll get is community work for a couple of weeks but they ligit cry the second theyre sent to munroe's (especially if they know theyre guilty of a big prank or something)

The school gives out free hygiene products and depending on what you need you can special request it.

If students get too angry they are sent to Piotr's art room for art therapy. He surprisingly is very artistic and chill.

Forges shop class is working on a car with no weight limit and that can handle their heavy hitters (Colossus and Wolverine) both in the same car (most bust) as well as a car made from plastic recycling. They're working on it. Its only blown up once!!

Gambit makes breakfast for the staff and some students of they beg enough. He keeps bringing Rouge the first cup of coffee from the pot and has made her pancakes shaped like hearts multiple times. Watching her stab them and smother them make him... giggle helplessly.

Gambit🤝Watching their love intrests viscously stab and rip apart their meals with a boner wishing it was them🤝Wade

He's very respectful towards her, though and sometimes is a bit (COUGH a lot COUGH) of a kiss ass.

Hank's students have blown up the lab at least 4 times by now. One of those times was Wades fault for touching stuff he wasn't supposed to.

Kurt is very glad that Wade has taken over his Duel weaponry/swordsman class, so now he has time to start working out a pitch for a world's religion class+ sunday school. He still runs a fencing club, though.

Peter (quicksilver) has tried so many different positions, including music teacher of all different instruments. Now he just kinda lounges around in the game room and speed cleans the mansion after each day in like 2 minutes flat. Imagine being paid a full salary just for 2 minutes of work? And you get to live somewhere for free and play games all day? Fuck yeah.

Positions I've been thinking about:

Beast (Dr. Henry "Hank" McCoy) is the Vice-Principal, so he does orientation. He has multiple science classes, including biophysics, and has electives in philosophy and poetry.

Colossus (Piotr Rasputin) is an art teacher and handles art therapy

Gambit (Remy LeBeau) runs a sex-ed class and is hoping to soon get approved to run a cooking class next semester.

Nightcrawler (Kurt Wagner) has a fencing elective as well as a religion class, sunday school, and sometimes helps Morph with drama/theater. (Ex duel weaponry instructor)

Rogue (Anna Marie) is a Linguistics teacher who drabbles in social science. “Diction and Linguistics, with Professor Rogue” She can teach just about any language, but russian/german/ french/ spanish and Japanese are her main ones. She's who you go to if you dont understand English and need help. Almost all foreign students have her.

Cyclops (Scott Summers) is the headmaster. He has classes in Geometry, has an elective for leadership and communications (PFFT) as well as being the schools mobility/disability specialist. He, of course, specializes more with children who have trouble with their eyesight.

Storm (Ororo Munroe) is the Headmistress. She has an Environmental Science and Political Science class as well as a multi cultural elective.

Shadowcat (Katherine "Kitty" Pryde) has a comp-sci class and runs an ethics class.

“Ethics 101: Forgetting Everything You Ever Learned From Emma Frost, with Professor Pryde.”

Wolverine (Logan Howlett) is a(n occasional hand to hand combat/ martial arts) PE instructor. (Ex History teacher)

Jubilee is the schools event organizer, event coordinator, event manager, and more broadly, event professional, the ‘hip’ school counselor. "Activities Director & Counselor"

Morph is the director of drama acting and disguises (duh)

Laura is a graduating student In training under the Wolverine (Gabby is a student and is too young to be an understudy)

Yukio graduating student In training Under Storm or Rouge (I can't decide)

Negasonic teenage warhead (Ellie) graduating student In training under Jean Grey.

Mr. Wade Wilson (Deadpool) Is in training under Colossus. Duel weaponry/ swordsman tactics class instructor (plus whatever Logan's doing, he's very nosey and WILL cause issues if bored)

Jean Grey is an english teacher, has a class on psychology, and drabbles in physics.

Ice man (Bobby) is the school financal advisor/accountant and runs a business elective class.

Forge is a Shop teacher.

Quicksilver (Peter maximoff) Janitor, housekeeping, music teacher, replaced original Logan as PE teacher for a while, target practice, teaches fast kids how to avoid running into walls, always in the game room, stock/ errand boy, gets bored super quickly, sports instructor, Read almost all the books in the library, likes swimming, mainly just lays around waiting for something fun to do, his father causes trouble sometimes which he thinks is entertaining but also hella embaressing.

I'm unfortunately left without a history teacher, so shoot me any ideas :)