#its all good its okay ill make everything work out
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ivysprophecy · 3 days ago
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Am I Okay? Chapter Three
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a/n: hi again! if you havent guessed already this chapter is going to include the gala i mentioned in part twelve! (which is linked) now as author im going to state clearly that this is not their first date 'canonically', however, its what i MYSELF consider their first date. <3
warnings: i dont think there are any, but i did add a little somethin somethin at the end ;) and i should mention this ones gonna be in rafes pov ;) im in no way saying that rafe is my character
word count: 1241
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this shouldnt feel as daunting as it does right now. shes just a friend. its just a dinner party, theres no commitments attached or technicalities to worry over.
its just me and her making a boring evening more exciting.
thats all.
i knock on the door and wait patiently for her to answer. i did come a bit early so i wouldnt be surprised if she was still getting ready.
she has a tendency to get swept up in the music shes listening to when shes at her vanity.
but as soon as she opens that door and i turn to see her... i suddenly forget all the convincing was doing.
cause i know after tonight theres gonna be no more hiding just how into her i am. she looks incredible.
it does something to me knowing its the dress i bought her.
"hi," thats all she says and i swear i forgot how to breathe. how does she do this to me?
"hey," my smile widens, "you look... gorgeous. really you look great."
"cant take all the credit, the dress was all your doing. im just wearing it."
"and you wear it beautifully," just like that, a natural blush replaces the artificial pink on her cheeks "we should get going, are you ready or do you need more time? i can wait."
"i think im ready..." she searches through her purse, going over its contents making sure she has everything. "yep, im ready."
"perfect," i close the door behind her as she walks out, "its a little jarring to see you without your boots."
she chuckles as i open the car door for her, "i tried to clean up as nice as i could."
"you clean up just fine cowgirl," i cant hide my smile.
the drive to the event was that comfortable kind of quiet. i always let her take aux when we drive together. country music definitely isnt my favorite but she could play a lot worse.
besides she throws in the occasional kid cudi or metro boomin for me.
shes thoughtful like that.
"oh theres valet? how fancy," the valet opens her door for her before i can even get out of the car. i suppose thats his job.
"thats kinda how these things go. theyre a bit much."
"well i think its refreshing being so spoiled. dads done a lot of fancy business but nothing like this. its fun."
taking her hand, i lead her up the stairs into the building, "ill spoil you as much as you want cowgirl."
"youre such a sweet talker city boy. for someone who, supposedly, is a serial bachelor youre a total flirt."
"nah, i only flirt with you," i tell her, truthfully. part of me said it to see her all flustered but really there isnt a point in lying about it.
i know everyones got me figured out already, the guys and their girls are better gossipers than the real housewives. not that id know anything about the real housewives. i definitely dont watch that shit.
"thats exactly what im talking about," shes giggling as we walk into the giant room filled to the brim with investors, partners, staff, clients, a bunch of people i really want to avoid. i was about to lead her over to the bar when we run into someone conveniently.
her father. that i work with. awesome.
"cameron! thought i wouldnt be able to catch you tonig- y/n? pumpkin what are you doing here?"
"dad! were in public can you maybe not call me that-"
i let a smile peak through, "pumpkin?" its just too easy to tease her.
"rafe," she sends me a warning, and you know she means business when she uses my "government name" as she likes to call it.
i throw my hands up in defense jokingly.
"its good to see you y/l/n," i reach out to shake her dads hand, "i invited her, hoping a friendly face would make the night more barrable. i hope thats alright with you."
"nah its good for her. she needs to get out more. i trust youll take care of her."
"dad!" she raises her tone while keeping a hushed voice, "dont talk about me like im not here. please."
"you kids have fun tonight," her dad wraps an arm around her before pressing a small kiss to her temple before shaking my hand again, "good to see you rafe. take care of my little girl."
i nod with a smile as he walks away, heading over to a table of some other clients i recognize.
"unbelievable! rafe im so sorry that was embarrassing. he doesnt know how to act normal. i shouldnt let him out of the house. i need to put him in a home."
"cowgirl, youre rambling. its fine, i get it. hes a dad its his job to embarrass you a little."
she rolls her eyes leading the way back to the bar like we intended in the first place. leaning against the bar she tells the bartender her order and mine, already knowing id like a whiskey.
how am i not supposed to like this girl so much when she knows me so well? i dont care if we come from two completely different backgrounds. a part of me knows this is the girl for me.
taking our drinks i lead her over to our table for the night, pulling out her seat for her to sit when suddenly i see some investors walking my way.
i knew id have to work a little tonight but it doesnt stop me being disappointed from being pulled away from her.
the night goes on, i introduce her to a few of the people i know better than others, but i give her the chance to mingle when she wants too. shes so well spoken and holds her own well.
shes mesmerizing.
at one point i return from the restroom, and when i come back i see that after i stepped away one of the investors sons is making conversation with her.
hes far too close to her for my liking, touching her arm subtly, desperately trying to make her laugh. but i can see shes only doing it to be polite.
i step up right beside her, my hand naturally falling to the small of her back. innocently of course.
"jared! good to see you man, your dad let you come?"
theres nothing i love to see more than his confidence faulter. he needed to be put in his place, what can i say?
im just happy i was the one to get to do it.
"yea... yea he did. it was good seeing you rafe. nice meeting you...?" he smiled in her direction, asking for one more chance silently, i couldnt contain my laughter.
"have a nice night jared. tell your dad ill see him at mondays meeting," and with that i lead her away in the direction of our table.
"you didnt have to be so rude to him you know?"
"cowgirl, that was hardly rude of me. i was doing him a favor."
she plasters on an offended face, pretending to clutch her pearls, "how dare you, im a catch. hed be so lucky to have me, and so would you."
god, shes such a tease.
believe me gorgeous. i know id be so lucky to have you. its all i think about.
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phagodyke · 7 months ago
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friends are making plans to go stay with each other but it's the weekend I'm going to see my favourite band. the universe fucking hates me
#I CANNOT have a third rsd episode in the space of a month i will kill myself. or at least do near irreperable damage#wish i was joking. i feel like im going to throw up even just thinking about it#well. well i can skip the concert i guess. i saw them last year anyway theyre just doing a second europe tour of the same album#and theyll probably release another album in a few years and i can see them again then#ahhh. ah okay okay i cant think about this right now ill decide at the weekend its not for a few weeks anyway#ahhhhhh but maybe theyre doing this bc they dont want me there idr if they know abt it already and if they wanted me there they would#plan it with me from the start instead of telling me once theyve already made the plan oh i cant do this right now i will Spiral#im going to take a cold shower 👍#to clear my head i was just starting to feel better @ my brain like that dont fucking ruin this for us andy samberg corgi gif#its fine i dont need to panic. im just frazzled from work i lost the ability to focus after like 3pm but they kept sending me emails with#stuff they want me to do before the end of the week and i was having stupid levels of task paralysis trying to think about it#bc i dont have time to fit everything into my schedule and its multiple projects so much thought. and my meds dont help anymore by then#AND ppl kept coming and finding me and giving me samples and verbal instructions for things and i couldnt write down bc i was busy#so ive probably forgotten smth important its fine its fine its just work#and tomorrow morning my meds will smooth everything out i can organise it then. but just made me feel so mentally congested#and ive had no signal again so couldnt even open tumblr to complain abt it#cold shower and then im gonna make stir fry so i have leftovers for lunch tmr to fuel me for the gym. and ill get my gym stuff ready#and i need to get my shit together bc im calling a friend tonight and i am NOT going to fall apart in front of them 👍#its all good its okay ill make everything work out#okay. showertime#.diaries
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itsalwaysdark · 30 days ago
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and when i live on my own ill be able to decorate like real life decorate ive never gotten to do that in real life b4
#like im not barred from doing it Nd i do like. a little bit kind of but its like. Idk my entire life is a very transient thing and im rly#rly rly not used to being in one place for a long time so as a kid we never rly decorated ever#and like obv i wont be Owning a house or anything like that so itll still have to be moveable but i can like. but furniture that i like and#stuff... ive never gotten to do that b4 even in um. wa. i didnt rly get to do any of the decorating even when i was in the actual house bc#him and the roommates umm. did all that. Okay well now ive sort of freaked it by making myself think of that so im going to go stare#longingly at the floorplan i did#bc umm. well ideally id like to move into one of the apartments thats right across the way bc theres a couple of apt buildings like right#there 5 min walk tops and one of the places Has an open one but no floorplan#i wont be movjng out for ages i just wanted to look at floorplans yk#but like i said no floorplans BUT theres one a bit further away not rly walkable bc its umm#youd have to walk on the interstate and stuff and um. no sidewalk and everything but theeeeeeeeee thing had a floorplan#still very close by like 2 min drive but yk. but i still did my little mockup floorplan with that apartment instead#i want it to be closeby so everybody can come visit and so that i dont die and explode . i dont rly want to continue living in this town#4ever once km like Normal and have savings and ive got everything worked out i wanna maybe move to chicago or something since il is better#for the transgenderisms. + ive always wanted to try living in a big city at least once and i think itd be awesome#but thats Ages and ages away like maybe 5 years depending on how good i am. weeee will see if 5 years in the future is like on the table 4#me LOLLLL 24 year old connor seems rly crazy to imagine. but anyways....#but itll be nice to move out and still be in town bc then i can have the same job yk . and maybe ill know how to drive atp and i can like .#buy a car ..or something . if i do know how to drive#which i probably should since this town very car dependent and i dont want my mom to have to drive me to work esp if umm. i dont live with#them ... im just rly rly rly rly rly fucking scared of driving but i know also in my heart that when i do know how to drive the bond between#me and that car will be crazyyyy like. idk how many of you followed me last year but you may remember my insane bond with angel my cart from#work and there was a lot gokng on woth that <- was Very delusional at the time and i was convinced that she was a sentient thing and had the#power to make my life better or worse if i upset her so i said good morning and goodnight to her every single day so that i could have a#good day . looking back on it probably was something to be concerned abt but whatever.... she is still my best friend and i do miss her#deeply#her bathtub and heater were my besttt friends when i was in wa LOL. i was quite unwell#bathtub is still in my room tho yayyy. heater lives with lamp now and angel is of course at my old job....#bathtub currently is holding a project i gave up on. everyone say thank.you bathtub im looking at her right now
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mifunebooty · 2 years ago
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Happy one year anniversary to one of the biggest mental breakdowns of my life That made me see i have to start changing my life to better myself and my relationships with others by being responsible for my mental illness upkeep and stop living for others and live for me and now im taking film and theatre classes with a job on the side and have a short movie to my credit
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dxsertrot · 10 months ago
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Actually everything has been too complicated and now that the sun is out I've decided that everything is actually easier than I thought and nothing has to hurt me unless I let it
#drinking coffee and smoking in the sun after a decent day of work#i got to work ot this weekend and do a tough job and the day after i hiked w my mom and ran along the beach w the dog#the longer i keep myself away from the narrative the more further removed and at peace i feel#although sometimes its somewhat distrupted when i see them but i reel it back in real quick#it just feels good to know that i dont have to let anyone in and that i have my people and thats all i need#im goung to carry myself the rest of the way through like i always have#and i dont need anyone elses validation#things will come to me when im ready and its right#if i dont want someone to hurt me then i simply dont have to allow them to hurt me#and if i hurt them then oh well. i need to protect my peace and my self esteem#i have things that i would like to work out but i need to accept that everything i want to have happen i cant make happen#ive been through too much and worked too hard and loved too hard and learned too much to let things like this touch me anymore#my self perception cannot hinge on anyone anymore because only i know what ive done and seen and felt and thought in every momemt of my lif#and how i look is not a solid descripter of all the aspects of me#it is not the bulk of my humanity it is hardly a grain of sand#im not angry or sad im just indifferent and ready for something better and healthier and more secure#and the things and people that i can have by relying on my looks do not hold much value anyways#besides. i am pretty. and im healthy and im good w my money and i laugh w my belly and i know a fuck of a lot more than i ever thought#and ive done more than i ever anticipated#i have a lot of things to be so okay with that i shouldnt even have to think about it#and the fact that i ever do is a luxary not given to the bulk of humanity#ive had the privledge to love many times and learn the lessons that accompany losing#and the privilege to make my own decisions and have my own priorities#i have the time and money to worry about frivolous things just like ive had the same to experience some really cool things#i am full of energy and opportunity and love and i get to decide when and where i want to direct that#if i direct it in a place that leave me feeling sad and empty and confused i can put my focus elsewhere unless i deem it worthy enough to#work at#and when ive poured too much in and got too little back ill know to reframe things#its not that complicated and its not that messy#it just is whatever i make it out to be and im tired of making everything out to be more and allow it to define me
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theereboseffect · 14 days ago
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art vs artist 2024!
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i used sooo much blue and yellow this year, maybe next year ill branch out to more colours but i cant help that blue and yellow are just the best colours for drawing.
here are my favourite works for each month of 2024!
january:
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I used colour layer modes instead of colouring 'organically', but this was the first time I made a drawing in full colour and actually really liked it. this was before i started painting colours directly into my drawings but its a great effort and i learned a lot about colour layer modes here!
february:
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didn't make much great art this month but this sketch scratches my brain correctly. the contrast the hatching the lighting!!!! this was where i started being obsessed with the different forms you can manage to portray with just a little rimlight
march:
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possibly one of my favourites of the WHOLE YEAR. Inspired by Andrew Salgado's work, I'm a huge fan of his stuff. In this I learned that colours are literally stupid and if you don't care about logic, you can actually make something very distinctive and somewhat abstract work. Kick-started my whole journey to learning colours so this was probably one of my most important pieces i've ever made
April:
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again, not much good art but this is nice I guess. drew this for the anniversary of senna's death, i like the polaroidy feel
may:
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I LOVE my may era. Most of everything was done with this oil painter brush I found and it just went very painterly and kinda abstract with strokes and colours, was a month of experimentation for sure
june:
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I didn't like this very much when I made it originally, but looking back I love the kinda creaminess of this piece. I haven't really been able to recreate that effect so far though, so this one stands out to me for sure
july:
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Not a fantastic art month for me, but I was experimenting with textures in this piece and learned a lot of what I SHOULDN'T do. Very useful
August
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I made this piece because I hadn't spotted any other lesteban enjoyers in the wild. Idk the colours in this just came out very easily which is always enjoyable
September:
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GRAHHHB the colours in this have me in a CHOKEHOLD the DESATURATED BLUE SHADOWS and PINK CHEEKS!!! This definitely isn't my best of the month but it BRINGS ME A LOT OF JOY OKAY I suddenly turned into an Esteban superfan in theast fiveish months of the year. so dumb that like one of my favourite pieces ever was a shitpost
November:
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the textures the eyelash shadow. PERIODD!! the first of my f1 x gladiator series, i just love this a lot even if it doesn't look like max
december:
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one of the best of my whole year tbh. Like the final boss where you use all the stuff you learned throughout your journey. The jewellery okay divaaa
okay very long post but i hope you guys like it!! thank you everyone for the support i've received this year you guys are the best
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mattsbows · 17 days ago
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nurse!reader. . .babying matt while he's sick ♡
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"this is so stupid," matt groaned, pulling the comforter closer to his red nose. "i was literally fine yesterday."
you hummed softly, popping a cold and flu tablet out of the plastic and passing it to him. "that is the way sicknesses tend to work." you chuckled.
your boyfriend groaned, laying his head back against the pillow after he had taken the medicine. "i hate this." he groaned before being cut off by a chesty cough.
"you gotta stay hydrated, sweetheart. it'll get rid of the cough," you told matt, brushing some of his hair off his sweltering forehead. "hot tea, water, or juice?"
"mmmm, root beer."
"i don't think root beer is going to hydrate you. besides sugar isn't good for your immune system."
matt huffed, clearly agitated with his illness, despite the fact that it was a common cold. "why do you know everything? you're like a walking nursing textbook."
"i did go to nursing school. look at the RN next to my name." you giggled.
in spite of himself, matt found a soft smile creeping onto his face at your giggles. he was beyond lucky to have you, and he was even more lucky that his sickness had decided to wait until one of your days off to rear its ugly head.
"i guess some hot tea would be nice, please." he mumbled, throat wheezy from all the congestion.
you smiled at your sucessful attempt to get matt to relax. "one hot tea with extra honey and lemon coming right up," before you left the room, you laid your cheek against your boyfriend's warm forehead. "fever of 101.2." you stated.
"since when are you a thermometer?"
"wanna bet?" you challenged.
all throughout nursing school and even now in your job, you'd found that you had a special skill for being accurate in checking temperatures nearly all the time, even with just the touch of your hand. you plucked the thermometer off matt's nightstand, sliding it under his tongue and waiting for the beep.
"101.3!" you cheered as the device beeped. "i was close."
"okay, okay. you were right." matt chuckled, letting out a sneeze.
"try to rest, baby," you mumbled, planting a kiss on his stubble-covered cheek. "i'm gonna go make your tea and get a cool rag for you."
matt pulled the covers around himself more as he watched you leave the room, wondering how on earth he had gotten so lucky to not only have a nurse as his girlfriend, but the best nurse as his girlfriend.
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a note from the author: i literally love nurse!reader sm, she's my baby<3 i hope you all enjoy ♡
❁ tags: @mattsdemi @purpledragon222 @slxtarchive @natashad0627 @quinnysnursery @tyummyz
© mattsbows
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inkskinned · 1 year ago
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you were raised in comparison.
it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.
you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.
you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.
what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.
it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.
you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.
you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?
a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.
you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.
it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.
something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.
#writeblr#warm up#my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky#i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles#yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help#for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT#and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen#than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say#''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help#i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.''#bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't#actually offer fair support to everyone#we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less.#and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help#bc i DID have it better than other people#and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help.#we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn#instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself
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flawseer · 4 months ago
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In your last ask, you mentioned misgivings with Book 10's ending, and especially how it pertains to Winter. I absolutely agree, and I know why, but I wanna hear your thoughts on it, too: What's up with Book 10?
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The following is a (very long) examination of my personal feelings with regards to the WoF second story arc finale. While it is based on what is in the text, this analysis will be interpretive and fill in blanks with my own thoughts. Keep that in mind.
Hahhhh... okay. Since mentioning it in my last post I’ve gotten several requests to talk about my feelings regarding the second arc finale. There’s probably no way around it then.
If you haven’t read that last post (it was admittedly very long, and so will this one be), I talked briefly about why I didn’t like that part of the story. I have to warn you now, this will likely be the most negative and dour post in the history of this blog. In a few parts it will sound like I hate Wings of Fire, and I want to say now, while I still have the chance, that I don’t. I love this series, thinking about its setting and characters brings me joy.
I also—very emphatically—want to make it clear that I have no ill will against Tui T. Sutherland. I’ve looked around other people’s stuff a bit and there are a huge number of posts wishing violence upon her or threatening her for doing things to her series that people don’t agree with. That is NOT what I am doing here, shit like that is NOT okay! While I will be critical of her choices, I still respect her effort of bringing this vibrant, wonderful world of dragons to all of us.
Also, obligatory last disclaimer: If you liked the finale, that is okay. You are valid for feeling that way. I’m here to share my point of view, not to demand people agree with everything I say. Just be warned that you most likely won’t enjoy what I have to say. If you don’t think you can handle that kind of criticism, this is your guilt-free opportunity to stop reading.
Otherwise, let's get into it.
CW: Discussion of parental abuse, depression, disease, and extreme acts of violence.
In defense of the finale
Before I start to systematically disassemble this narrative and get lost in a quagmire of negativity, let’s talk a bit about the circumstances that brought forth this part of the story. The plot of this arc was a mess from the moment animus magic was unshackled from the restrictions it had in the first arc, and from then on there was no longer any conceivable way to end this story in a clean way. Sutherland had created an invincible, unbeatable, omnipotent villain; he could read minds, see the future with perfect clarity, and anything he could imagine he could conjure into existence at any time with no cost to himself and no drawbacks. She was likely wracking her brain about how to resolve this impossible conundrum. What we got wasn’t good, but I believe nothing could have been. The foundation was rotting and by the fifth book it couldn’t bear the weight of the plot anymore.
The thing about animus magic in arc 2 is that it is so potent, so all-powerful, and so free of restraint that everyone who uses it also HAS to be a simpleton, or they would be able to break the plot immediately and become god. From the moment Darkstalker broke out of that mountain, he could have said “Any and all spells that are cast with the intention to harm me, interfere with my plans, or do something I don’t consent to will not work, from now on until forever”, and he would have instantly won. The strawberry would have fizzled out. The Darkstalker-blocking earrings would not have been created, and no one could have saved the Icewings. On the flipside, Turtle or Anemone could have said “I enchant the concept of animus magic itself to no longer obey Darkstalker”, and his threat would have been neutered. Point is, powers as potent and easy to use as this really need limitations, or they will quickly eat your plot alive.
I don’t envy the situation Sutherland was in at the time at all. If you’re an author, that kind of thing is a nightmare. It really is no wonder she decided to blow up animus magic for good in her next arc, even if I would have preferred it to get more healthy restrictions instead of killing it outright.
The Darkstalker age regression thing
Everyone has talked this part to death already, but if I am to write a thorough analysis of my feelings regarding this finale, I’m going to have to talk about it as well. I’m sorry if I end up repeating a lot of things you’ve already heard.
This final fate of Darkstalker, to have his memories wiped and be reset to an infant, is really uncomfortable. As far as I am aware, though correct me if I’m wrong, Sutherland said in an interview that she didn’t want Darkstalker to die because, in her view, he did not deserve to. We can debate here about the philosophical question of whether anyone is truly deserving of death, and the merits of “justice” and “punishment”, but in general, Wings of Fire did not seem to have any issues killing off its villains prior if they committed suitably terrible acts. That makes this moment stand out as noteworthy.
Who is Darkstalker then--and if we assume villains can be “deserving” and “not deserving” of death--what about him speaks in his favor, or against? The guy had a pretty crappy childhood, coming from a broken home (there is that inadequate parent theme again). He genuinely loved his sister and felt protective of her, and whenever he liked someone he wanted them to be happy and feel affirmed. The thing that Queen Diamond does to his mother is awful and he is justified in hating her for it. He is also portrayed as rather sympathetic in Moon Rising. When he asks Moon to find his scroll for him and not to leave him, he is not manipulating her, he is sincerely begging for her help. He is stuck somewhere underground, trapped in darkness, in a space so tiny that he can’t move. He remains that way for months, lonely and sad. If you just focus on these aspects, it’s easy to understand why he has so many fans who want him to see healthy and happy.
On the flipside, while he is dedicated to the happiness of his friends, he doesn’t always go for the most ethical way to achieve it. He tries to brainwash said friends without their consent whenever they exhibit behaviors he doesn’t like, or when he thinks he knows better and wants to “fix” them. He has very little regard for other people’s autonomy, lies to his loved ones with alarming frequency, and is unhealthily attached to the idea of power. Those things are certainly not good, but they are his character flaws. These are his demons; everyone has them and they make him a person. If this was all there was to it, he might still be a villain, but I’d argue he’d not be wholly irredeemable.
But there are things about him that take him beyond the pale. Things that go beyond the realm of just being misunderstood, or easily excusable.
He is possessive. He wants Clearsight and Fathom for himself, and for them to listen to him primarily. When Indigo makes it clear she doesn’t like him and cautions Fathom against trusting him, he deceives his friends and traps Indigo in a wood carving, just so he can isolate Fathom from his support network and manipulate him easier. He alters Clearsight’s mind to make her more agreeable and stop her from holding him accountable for his actions; while he thinks he loves her, he only loves an idealized version of her that is wholly devoted to and unquestioning of him. This is why, when he later forcibly overwrites Fierceteeth’s existence to recreate her (which is another horrific thing), he tries to excise the parts he finds undesirable to create a perfect version of his lover. But this caricature he has created in his head is not and can never be Clearsight, which frustrates his attempts.
He is vengeful. Not against people who have actually wronged him, like Queen Diamond. That would be questionable, but understandable. What makes this unacceptable is his frequent targeting of innocent people who just happen to be related to the person who wronged him in some esoteric way. He enchants a secret murder knife that kills random Icewings regardless of who they are or what they think about the Queen, just because the one who took his mother from him happened to share their tribe. He hates Turtle and wishes death upon him in Moon Rising just because he is a green Seawing, like Fathom was. And then there is the big one: He tries to kill all the Icewings who are alive in the present day, where Queen Diamond is long dead and none of them have ever even met her. Even his mother, who suffered from Diamond’s actions the most and has the most reason to hate her, is horrified and calls him out on that one.
And lastly, he is sadistic. He revels in torturing those he hates. He forces his father to disembowel himself, while the latter is fully aware and powerless to resist AND the man’s traumatized daughter is watching. Later he sends a magical plague to kill every single living Icewing sans one.
It should be noted that Darkstalker possesses virtually infinite magical power; whatever he declares, with very few exceptions, will happen. Even if he wanted them dead, he had the power to prevent unnecessary suffering. He could have said “Arctic, fall dead instantaneously”, or “Every Icewing will fall asleep and pass away peacefully,” but he didn’t. He wanted them to feel pain and pass away in the most wretched, agonizing ways he could imagine.
So what he chose to do instead is—and I want you to picture this for a moment—Darkstalker sat down, calmly, and said “Henceforth every living Icewing, excepting Prince Winter and those of hybrid blood, will fall ill with an incurable disease. This disease will cause heavy internal bleeding and make its victims cough up blood and waste away for a few days, followed by certain death.”
This spell does not discriminate with regards to who its victims are. The book glosses over the implications, but imagine the ramifications. Young children are notoriously frail, how many newborns got infected and died because of this? How many families were torn apart because they couldn’t get the magic earrings fast enough? Or accidentally got one earring less than there were family members and had to decide who has to die?
Most of the Icewings were physically cured by the earrings, but an experience like that sticks with you for the rest of your life. Somewhere surely, a dragonet watched as his mother put the earring on him and then slowly wasted away because she didn’t have one for herself.
It’s really easy to overlook how horrific this spell is because it isn’t shown or dwelt on. But the trauma, grief, and suffering it caused must have been immeasurable.
And none of those victims have ever even met the person Darkstalker wanted to get revenge on. None of those deaths meant anything to anyone.
The attempted death toll and scale of the calamity here puts even Scarlet to shame. The ones who come closest to it were Queen Battlewinner and Morrowseer with their attempted Rainwing extermination. All three of those died for what they did. Gives you some food for thought for sure.
Peacemaker’s burden
Despite just airing all of his dirty laundry and declaring him an irredeemable villain, I actually do have a lot of sympathy for Darkstalker still. His story is really sad. He was a child born with an amount of power that nobody should possess, and it corrupted him to the point where it destroyed his life before it began. His parents were always fighting and no matter how good his intentions were, he was unable to understand why he couldn’t hold on to his friends and relationship. He kept making mistakes, then made bigger mistakes to fix those, until his hands were covered in blood and he couldn’t stop anymore. My belief is that, after he wakes up in the present and realizes Clearsight is dead, he loses his reason for living and becomes completely lost in his grief.
Therefore, my opinion is that it would have been appropriate for him to die. If not to punish him, then to finally grant him reprieve from all that rage and pain, and let him rest. I think that would have been a dignified end.
But instead he got turned into a baby. ... And then they decided to magically erase his father’s blood from him? I don’t know what it is, but something about that Icewing erasure makes my skin crawl?
The thing that turns this baby twist from weird into highly unsettling is the context. Darkstalker’s mind is erased, then modified into a new person via animus magic. This is the technique a lot of this arc’s villains used to victimize Hailstorm, Queen Ruby, Peril, Kinkajou, Fierceteeth, and Winter. The same technique is now used again, by the heroes, which is a dangerous thing to have your protagonists do if you want them to remain morally upright.
It is also very reckless, because in almost all of these instances, animus mind alteration has been shown to be very unreliable. The spells seem to wear down over time and are susceptible to partial breaking upon encountering certain strong stimuli. Hailstorm—while trapped as Pyrite—seems to retain trace amounts of his former memories, which is why Pyrite is subconsciously drawn to Winter and clings to him all the time. Ruby is able to ignore half of her conditioning because her familial love for her son partially overpowers the magic. Qibli is just straight up able to reason his way out of it.
The thing to note here is that spells of this nature require a very meticulous approach; you can’t half-ass your reprogramming or the victim will just think their way past it. If you alter someone’s mind, the wording of the spell must be ironclad, lest you risk it wearing down over time and even break.
Luckily we have nothing to fear in that regard, because the spell that created Peacemaker was written by a Rainwing with a total of four days of literacy training. No one better mention the name Clearsight to the new baby Nightwing, or next month is going to be rather interesting.
But that’s just speculation on my part. Let’s assume that, somehow, this spell isn’t as unstable as all the others. Somehow Kinkajou threaded all the needles, and masterfully dodged every conceivable pitfall to pen the perfect incantation, despite having been illiterate just a few weeks prior. This one is built to last and Darkstalker is sealed away really thoroughly, for good.
That is still absolutely terrible and morally dubious, because now you have Peacemaker, who for all intents and purposes is a COMPLETELY innocent little kid, saddled with this huge burden of being the certifiable reincarnation of a genocidal ancient wizard. He’s gonna grow up thinking things like “Mommy gets real quiet whenever the topic of the Icewing tragedy is brought up,” and “Why does Auntie Moon look at me like that? One time she accidentally called me a weird name, who is Darkstalker?” “What is this ‘Clearsight’ name my mind-reading friends from the village found in Mommy’s mind?”
In a village that will be full of mind-readers soon, eventually the secret will come out, and Peacemaker is going to learn what was done to him. A huge, messy load of undeserved baggage was forced onto this completely separate, innocent entity. He will be devastated. Whether he then chooses to forgive them for this remains to be seen. To be honest, he would be well within his right not to, and turn resentful.
Poor kid.
Qibli’s callousness
I love Qibli, he is one of my favorite characters. This happens to be his book, and the fact that I fundamentally dislike half of it makes me rather sad. If anything, I hope this tells you that I’m not just hating on it for my personal amusement. I really wanted to like this. I tried to, and I couldn’t.
Qibli is really weird in this one, to be honest. He is suddenly made to be co-dependent on Moonwatcher, fawning over her every third paragraph, saying how much he loves her, how he is an incomplete and dysfunctional wreck without her, how it physically pains him to be apart from her, oh if only the stars would grant his wish and split the mountains apart so that he may fly to his princess, his muse, his goddess of ebony wit. It gets so old.
And it’s not Qibli. He never acted this clingy towards Moonwatcher. It’s more intense than even Winter gets about Moon, and Winter was actually depicted with a crush on her in book 6. Qibli was always just a supportive element, eager to befriend Moon but never desperate, like he is going to keel over if he is separated from his true love five minutes longer. These very frequent love declarations feel so forced coming out of him. It strikes me like it was just written in service of the love triangle. Maybe if we make him confess his love every four seconds readers will overlook the fact that they had no proper romantic build-up.
You might rightly accuse me of bias. I have previously admitted I am fond of Qibli/Winter as a romantic pairing, on the surface this seems like I am just not happy with my pet ship being blocked by Moonwatcher. But I assure you, I am actually pretty flexible and accommodating even towards pairings that contradict my preferences. I have no issues with Winter/Moonwatcher, for example, because the possibility was properly established and they have good romantic chemistry in Winter Turning. In theory, I would have no problem with Qibli/Moonwatcher either if it was ever set up as an interesting romantic dynamic. But to me, it seems like Qibli is written as a good, supportive friend to Moon for four books, only to pivot hard into “Moon moon moon moon moon moon swoon” at the last second, and it just reads to me as obnoxious.
I got distracted. This section is called “Qibli’s callousness”, and I haven’t even talked about the main part.
Qibli and Winter have excellent chemstry together, whether you read it as romantic or platonic—both of these interpretations have merit and are set up. They’re always the highlight of any scene they’re in. Throughout the story arc you get the impression that these two really get on each other’s nerves, but they bond and grow into really strong friends who bicker a lot but have each other’s backs when it counts.
Then there is a scene where Qibli casually tells Winter that he wouldn’t object if someone wanted to mind-control away some of Winter’s more objectionable traits.
This is genuinely a terrible thing to say to your friend. Like, it crosses a line and ceases to be harmless banter; you’re just telling them that there is something you hate about them so much that you wish they were someone else. Winter actually WAS mind-controlled earlier and felt (and proably still feels) guilty about having attacked Qibli in that state. And now Qibli says “Hey, I wouldn’t mind if someone did that to you again! Hue hue!”
It is awful, BUT I don’t necessarily object to Qibli saying this here. Qibli is in the middle of his character arc at this moment, so he is expected to be flawed. He is making a mistake by thoughtlessly telling Winter this horrid thing, and it seems like a believable continuation of his current character track. This is a reasonable development as long as the plot acknowledges that it’s a mistake.
Spoilers: The plot doesn’t acknowledge that it’s a mistake. Qibli never has a scene after where he reflects upon what he said and apologizes to Winter. When Darkstalker has Qibli trapped in his mountain jail and mind-wipes Qibli’s grandfather into a toddler (hey, wait a minute), Qibli gets visibly disturbed. Like, this is so off-putting to him that he gets queasy and Darkstalker hastily changes the spell. That could have been a great way to bring this back. Like in the epilogue, have Qibli track down Winter and tell him about disturbing baby grandpa theater and how he realized that wiping people’s minds is actually messed up and should have never said that to him.
But he doesn’t. He just lets Winter go, allowing him to believe he is broken and needs magical intervention to be tolerable. It leaves me to think that maybe he’s still okay with it, and fantasizing about rewriting his friend’s mind. Great.
Moonwatcher’s character death
You will find as this goes on that, I get the impression that the second half of this book takes all of the wonderful, endearing characters I have learned to love throughout the story and replaces them with really mean, or stupid, or otherwise inaccurate caricatures.
Moonwatcher’s relationship with Darkstalker gets plenty of setup and development in Moon Rising. You get the sense that these two could be great friends if their circumstances were a little different. It does a great job at making you think maybe Darkstalker is just misunderstood; maybe Moon should free him from his predicament.
Then at the end of Escaping Peril comes the emotional gut punch. Darkstalker actually IS a villain. He callously admits to Moonwatcher that he used his magic to make his own father gruesomely disembowel himself. Moonwatcher is horrified and disgusted that he would do that. There is no circumstance in which something like that would ever be okay. She ends the scene awash in tears because the person she thought was her friend is a murderer and a sadist. This is good, that is a natural reaction to what she was just told.
A few hours from there, in Talons of Power, Turtle finds Moon again and she is completely cool with Darkstalker walking free, despite crying her eyes out after feeling so betrayed earlier. That may seem strange, but this is still good because later, Darkstalker’s mind control plot is discovered. This scene was obviously written to set that up, Moon is mind-controlled into forgetting that Darkstalker could do something that morally reprehensible, and thus forgives him. This is also completely in line with his characterization in Legends: Darkstalker. It’s a kind of stunt he would pull to get Clearsight to shut up about him slipping into villainy.
In my earlier post I alluded to a moment where Moon is set to narrative auto-pilot and says something so rampantly off-kilter that it does irreversible, permanent damage to her character. It happens here, in the second half of book 10. Qibli gives Moon the Darkstalker protection earring, and Moon, somehow, says “I’m not being mind-controlled, Darkstalker really is my friend.”
I get what the plot tries to do here. It’s taking this concept of mind-control and adding a nuance, in an attempt to flesh out Darkstalker and give his character depth. He is ready to control everyone in the world, but for Moon, who is his best friend in this era, he wants her to remain herself. Perhaps this is his attempt at attonement for playing with Clearsight’s mind and driving her away from him. It is very touching in a way, viewed in isolation.
Unfortunately, it does not work with the full context of all the books. Because Moon is in auto-pilot mode right now, her main character trait is “Darkstalker=Friend,” so naturally she would speak in support of him. But this revelation has devastating retroactive consequences. The earlier scene that was written with Moon under mind-control is now altered into her having been in her right mind! She is completely okay with Darkstalker’s admittance to cold-blooded torture and evisceration, within hours of being so shocked by it that it made her cry and ready to denounce him. That is such a quick turnaround it’s giving me whiplash. And what’s more it turns Moon from a principled, upstanding girl into a sociopath who casually accepts gruesome torture and murder if it is committed by someone she likes.
Did Sutherland forget about the scene two books ago, where Darkstalker’s actions were so inconceivably horrid for Moon to learn of that she started crying? It baffles me that this made it into the final version. Her saying she was never mind-controlled makes Moon come off as so awful. This torture-excusing lunatic is not the same kind-hearted and insightful character I followed in all the other books.
Kinkajou’s character derailment
The world is a sad place when I have to question the way Kinjajou is written. Fortunately she is mostly fine, despite her having the biggest excuse to act out-of-character since she’s the victim of a mind-altering spell. Her only real moment of “what!?” comes at the end.
I already talked about her role in casting the spell that regresses Darkstalker into an infant. But I didn’t mention how her being the source of it is questionable in itself.
The clue is in the first paragraph of this section: She herself has experienced the effects of invasive mind-alteration. She was cursed by Anemone in the previous book to be in love with Turtle, and kind of half-struggles kind of not with it, it’s really strange. Turtle is appropriately horrified and acts like really awful things are happening, but then it’s mostly played lightly for some reason. My assumption is that Sutherland introduced this plot point, but then realized how uncomfortable this premise really is and tried to downplay it until the story got to a point where it could get done away with.
But I think the takeaway is still supposed to be that this was a horrid thing to do (which it absolutely is), and that Kinkajou will have to spend a lot of time trying to untangle her real emotions from the fake ones the spell created.
The point is: Kinkajou knows first-hand how awful it is to do something like that to another person. Ideally she should never even conceive of the idea to cast a spell like that, but if we’re really set on this Darkstalker baby thing and it has to happen, she should at least be a bit hesitant about it. And afterwards she should struggle with the guilt of having resorted to it. Not celebrate it and be proud, like it’s funny.
The assassination of Winter’s future
Now we come to the part I’ve alluded to previously; the part where all of these threads converge to utterly destroy one character and drive him to the brink of ruin. Let’s talk about Winter.
Prince Winter is the son of Tundra and Prince Narwhal, hatching in the same clutch as his sister Icicle. He spent his formative years being unfavorably compared to said sister—who easily took to traits that Icewing royalty considers desirable—whereas Winter struggled greatly to embody those same ideals. He was just a little too kind, too merciful, too gentle. As a result he often had to endure abuse from his parents, who made him feel like he was defective.
Because he was young and didn’t have any other frame of reference, he embraced this abusive narrative and began to drive himself with a vigor unreasonable for someone of his age. He scraped and cloyed for every bit of credit he could get, obsessing over advancing up the circle rankings in an attempt to “purge” the wrongness out of himself. To make his parents as proud of him as they were of Icicle.
This never worked. He was always seen as the runt, poised to embarrass the family name. Whatever he did, no matter how hard he strived, there was always something he could have done better.
The only real source of love and affirmation in his life was his older brother, Hailstorm. Where everyone else only saw what Winter wasn’t, Hailstorm embraced his brother despite of his “failings” and was openly affectionate with him. When Winter was with him, it was okay to not think about rankings all the time, and just be himself for a bit. I assume Hailstorm fulfilled a similar role for Icicle as well, which is why both of them love him dearly, and Icicle destroys her own life to bring him back.
Winter also has a fascination with scavengers, possibly because they are small and perceived as useless, like he himself is. He likely feels a kinship with them and observes them being craftier and more adept than everyone else sees them. This is therapeutic for him, to see that a thing can have merit even if no one wants to see it.
One day, he and Hailstorm sneak into Skywing territory so Winter can catch a scavenger as a pet. This excursion turns hostile when they are discovered by a roaming Skywing troop and faced with the prospect of capture, possibly execution. In a gambit to save Winter from this fate, Hailstorm mirrors the words of his parents, calling Winter pathetic and useless, so the Skywings will not think of him as a threat and show mercy. His act succeeds in convincing the Skywings, but it also convinces Winter, who does not understand Hailstorm only said these things to save his life. He returns home—believing his brother hated him all along—to face the wrath of his furious family for losing them “the desirable son”.
For all of his life, these themes have repeated themselves and haunted him. “I was born wrong and defective,” “I am unlovable,” “No one wants me.”
A few months after the war ends, Winter is one of the five Icewings enrolled in the newly founded Jade Mountain Academy. Shortly after departing, he unexpectedly returns home, having successfully rescued his older brother and bringing him back. He is made to believe that this erases his mistakes, his mother even pays him a backhanded compliment, an uncharacteristically “nice” gesture. He is promoted to the top of the rankings, finally his parents are proud of him.
But of course it is all a trick. The “adoration” afforded to him was all a ploy. Secretly, his parents abused power and tradition to arrange for Winter’s death. They force him into a lethal trial they intentionally rigged against him, all to finally erase that stain on their family’s honor.
Winter finally realizes the true nature of his parents’ opinion of him. Even when he succeeds, and does everything right, he is still defective, unlovable, and unwanted. He will never be anything else to his family. And so he leaves his homeland, pretending he is dead, resigned to live in hiding forever.
During this time, while at the brink of despair, Winter is able to draw strength from one source: His new friends from the academy. He vocalizes that, for all the abuse he suffered at the hands of his birth family, he fervently believes that THEY would never do anything like that to him. They chose to stuck with him, even when he was awful, and told him he was not hopeless. He was not a mistake; he could be deserving of love.
So naturally, he returns to them; they accept him readily, are willing to be his new surrogate family. When he almost burns to death at a later point, they fear and weep for him. When Qibli sets out to confront his own abusive family, Winter, despite being mind-controlled into a placid potato at the time, feels concerned enough for his friend’s safety to insist to come along (returning the favor of them accompanying him in his time of need in book 7). When Darkstalker’s mind control forces Winter to attack Qibli, he is shown ashamed and guilty of it once the control wears off again.
They bicker and struggle, and make mistakes, they break up but always come back together again. Time and time again the one thing that is always reinforced: When the cards are down, Winter loves his friends, and they love him. They would never intentionally hurt each other, or give up on each other.
I want you to keep in mind how wholesome, and loving, and mutually supportive this ramshackle band of misfits has been portrayed to this point... Because we’re moving on to the arc 2 finale, and it will do everything it can to corrupt all of it and consign Winter to a life of misery.
We arrive at aforementioned scene, where Moonwatcher receives her earring. Just a little bit prior, Winter had learned that Darkstalker unleashed a magical plague onto his people in an attempt to wipe them out. Now here is Moonwatcher, revealing that she is not under any spell, and has aligned herself with this guy willingly, speaking fondly of him as if he was a dear friend who never did any wrong. Winter takes this badly and accidentally breaks a vase; the narrative lingers on this moment and really tries to sell us on how unreasonable Winter’s reaction is, how he is overreacting, but let’s examine that interpretation for a moment.
Moonwatcher doesn’t yet know about the attempted Icewing genocide, but she DOES know about Darkstalker being okay with casting spells to inflict immeasurable torture upon those he hates. WE know that she knows this, so her stance here is already suspect. Yet she goes on to praise Darkstalker and refer to him as a friend. Look at this from Winter’s perspective. This “friend” of Moonwatcher just tried to kill his entire tribe, and he actually succeeded in killing his aunt, Queen Glacier, a person Winter greatly respects. Winter is currently unable to return to his homeland for fear of being branded a traitor. Even if he could return, he knows his obstinate and spiteful family would prevent him from attending the funeral, meaning he is not even afforded the basic dignity of saying farewell to his aunt. The aunt whom Darkstalker murdered by making her vomit her own blood until she withered away in her bed. And here is Moon, absolving the person who did this to Glacier from his appalling actions, despite knowing full well what Darkstalker is capable of and choosing to look away.
I don’t know about you, but I think I can forgive the grieving, emotionally overwhelmed boy for shattering a little pottery after hearing his trusted friend—who held his hand when he was dying—say that the guy who makes people disembowel themselves and wipes out entire countries may be misunderstood and not so bad. I think I would have a similar reaction. In fact, I would never want to talk to her ever again.
There is no way I can read this scene in which Moon doesn’t come off as either an absolute lunatic, or critically stupid and callous. In fact, based on her earlier behavior I half-expect her to get over the news of the attempted Icewing massacre in a couple hours, saying “Eh, it’s kinda bad, but you just have to do these kinds of things sometimes, you know? I’m sure he had his reasons.”
Then there is the part where Qibli makes his off-color comment about how Winter’s brain could really use a good wash. I already went into how it could have worked but didn’t. But with the timing here, we’ve already had Moon spit on their friendship, so as Winter’s other closest friend, it naturally follows that Qibli also craps on his feelings.
Consider the context: Winter comes from an abusive household where his parents forcibly tried to change him away from who he was to purge the “wrongness” from him. When they betray him and he narrowly escapes their attempt on his life, he re-affirms his belief in his friends, and the knowledge that they wouldn’t treat him like that gives him the strength he needs to keep going. But now, Qibli asserts that Winter DOES need to be altered, thereby AGREEING with Winter’s abusive parents, rendering Winter’s affirmation from book 7 erroneous. Qibli WOULD treat him like that if it made Winter less “intolerable”.
Neither Moonwatcher nor Qibli ever make an attempt to repair this rift. Winter is left betrayed and alone.
Stuff happens, and the forces of the Nightwings and Icewings come to blows over Jade Mountain. With his two closest friends having written him off and his support network eroded, Winter relapses into thinking he is worthless, seeks validation in unquestioning patriotism, and realigns himself with his abusive family by throwing himself into the battle. Nobody wants him to, in fact his parents still hate him for it, but whatever. His father dies and his mother blames him for it.
Meanwhile Turtle, Anemone, and Qibli are cooking up a solution to the battle problem. They have the idea to make everyone’s minds connect in a huge empathy wave for a few moments, which I think is a pretty interesting idea for what it’s worth. But then they teleport both armies back to their homes, and the spell sweeps Winter up with them, taking him out of the rest of the finale and bringing him to the Ice Kingdom. The characters say “whoops” but aren’t further concerned with the situation. It’s all a big laugh.
Let me remind you that Winter is currently considered not welcome on Icewing territory. His family, whom he was sent back with, is extremely abusive and vindictive. His friends know this. Said parents have previously arranged for him to be killed, and are still on record as wanting him dead. His friends KNOW this. And now he is alone with them and a gaggle of other royal Icewings who all are extremely pissed off at him for ruining their sacred trial site.
It is very possible that he is being torn apart and mauled by an enraged mob right now. He could be forced into captivity and flayed. Maybe the interim regent is sentencing him to death and getting the rope ready. There is a million different horrible things that could be happening to Winter right now, while he is trapped alone with people who hate him, things his friends would be reasonably able to anticipate. And nobody is doing anything to get him out of there, to suggest bringing him back, even though it would only take a single spoken sentence to do so! They aren’t even concerned!
Then the climax happens, strawberry thing and all, and we get the coup de grâce. After all is said and done, the group decides that Winter is untrustworthy, and that they must protect the secret of Darkstalker’s fate from him, because they fear if he knew he would kill Peacemaker.
Moon, who read Winter’s mind in book 6 and reached out to him about how the “ruthless Icewing warrior” persona in his head is a facade and how she sees he has a gentle and good heart... Moon, who in book 7 finds out about Winter’s secret deal to kill Glory and STILL trusts him, who calls out his bullshit to his face because she KNOWS how kind-hearted Winter is and that he would never resort to murder... Moon who, again, held his hand while he was dying... thinks that the dragon she has reminded of his compassionate nature time and time again would kill an innocent child.
This is disgusting. Moon believing that is so far off the mark with regards to anything this group has embodied or done for any of the last 4 books, that my only conclusion can be that these are different characters. Maybe the Nightwing library collapsed on top of original Moon, and when Darkstalker magiced her back to health she came back wrong or something. I don’t know.
So after all of this, Winter is left alone. He somehow escaped from the Ice Kingdom; luckily there is a timeskip so we can just gloss over the horrible situation he was put in by his friends. He thinks about Jade Mountain. He reflects on everything that happened, how his parents never really loved him... How they hated him so much they tried to kill him... How he despaired, but found solace in his friends who loved him for who he was.... How those friends then betrayed him too and magiced him away... How they didn’t care about what happened to him... And he decides he is done. He won’t bother going back. A few people, probably Sunny, reach out to tell him he is welcome back, but he says “it wouldn’t be fair to other Icewings if an exile took up a bed”. The decision isn’t hard to make, after all there is nothing left for him there. Everyone has written him off, moved on and left him behind.
Kinkajou visits sometimes, tries to stay in touch, but that’s just how she is. Maybe the others sent her to check on whether he’s going to become troublesome. They don’t trust him. Better to keep an eye on him, he might kill the baby.
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With nowhere else to go, Winter moves to Sanctuary, a place for rejects like him. I picture him standing there, at the edge of a cliff staring blankly into the distance. He is completely alone; no one wants to go near him or talk to him beyond the bare necessities. He could probably make new friends with the Talons of Peace if he tried, but there is no point. Why should someone like him have friends? It wouldn’t work. They’d just decide he is too inconvenient to be around. Sooner or later they would just tell him to leave anyway. It's better not to try, so he doesn't get hurt again.
And slowly it dawns on him. His parents had been right all along. It was never them, or the others, it was him. He is the problem. The Icewings said it, Qibli said it, Moonwatcher said it. There is just something fundamentally wrong with him.
He is defective. He is unlovable. Nobody wants him. He will never be anything, or have anyone. And so he stands at the cliff, looking over the broken vase fragments of his life... This is who he is. Prince Winter. A mistake.
And quietly, where no one knows or cares, he does the only thing he has left to do... he begins to weep.
As it is written, the tale of Winter is the story of a boy who is told he is wrong for being alive. He closes his ears and tries to keep walking forward, desperate to prove that he is not an error, that he has merit. But this book comes out and it unmistakably says that he doesn’t. He is nothing, and he deserves to have nothing.
And I just cannot accept that.
Why did this have to happen?
I think that the author was really struggling with the ending of this book. I’ve said before how much of a corner she wrote herself into with such an invincible villain. I think she came up with the strawberry idea as a solution to this problem. But as she was writing it, the characters kept fighting her. It was not a natural solution, not a decision the characters—as they were established—would ever make.
So concessions had to be made to force the issue. Established traits had to be bent slightly to make this plot work. The farther she went, the worse it got. The concessions piled up and turned into contrivances. Eventually the characters were no longer acting like themselves. Their bonds got stretched too far and some snapped. It’s a very tragic pitfall that occurs with long-running series.
I think Sutherland must have also been tired. Writing an entire book is a monumental task, and writing 6 connected ones even moreso. She also comes out with these things really quickly. Maybe she was burnt out? Maybe she wanted to be done and her attention lapsed. Maybe that’s why she forgot that Moon knew about the disemboweling. It seems reasonable to believe when you consider that the next story arc would make a relatively clean break from the problems of this arc, especially with regards to the magic system.
But I don’t know what ultimately happened, so I can only speculate. I reiterate, I bear no ill will against Sutherland for writing this. Even if I kind of hate everything about this finale, and very vocally wish it would be different, I don’t want this examination to generate (or reawaken) any hatred towards her, or to attack her personally. I understand the pain of an artist who gets trapped with something for too long and has to find the means, any means, to see it through to the end. I criticize the story, but I could never hate anyone for that.
But for me, I do not consider this half of the book as part of the story. The characters act too unnaturally for it to have happened. So to me, it didn’t. We don’t know what happened, maybe Darkstalker is still out there. Maybe they dealt with him. Maybe what actually happened is my crappy and self-indulgent rewrite of the ending which I will never show to anyone because it would be really embarrassing.
But whatever actually ended up happening, I am sure Winter never ended up at that cliff, pondering how worthless and meaningless his life was. He is currently at Jade Mountain, surrounded by friends who love him, and bickering with Qibli about the correct solution to their advanced calculus assignment that is due tomorrow.
Is there anything left to say?
Probably.
I didn’t talk about Anemone yet. You know, in the epilogue she enchants herself a bracelet that makes her “not be so mean all the time”. I find that creepy. To me it reads as Anemone voluntarily brainwashing herself with magic to erase her negative traits instead of growing past them naturally because she finds them undesirable and wants to work to change for the better. I would ordinarily assume that this is an overreaction on my part, and I’m just reading the scene wrong. But no, we just got through a part where the heroes brainwashing someone is treated as an unequivocal good and worthy of celebration, so I think my reading may actually be spot on. Why are we letting the little kid alter her own brain without supervision? Hello? Tsunami? Someone intervene maybe? This cannot be healthy.
Turtle stands out to me as the one bright spot in all of this. He (and Peril, but she’s mostly out of focus) remain as the only main characters of this arc who don’t have any mind-boggling out-of-character moments or sudden streaks of uncharacteristic callousness. I really like the part where Qibli goes to free Turtle from his captivity and plans to give him an earful about the comically unhelpful messages he’s been sending him. But when Turtle asks if what he did was helpful, Qibli sees how beaten down and exhausted Turtle is, and wordlessly drops his frustration to tell him “Yeah, they were helpful.” That is the true Qibli shining through for a moment, showing that he cares about the well-being of his friends.
Do I hate the pairing of Qibli/Moonwatcher? No. Well, I DO hate how it happened in the book, and how the story tried to assassinate Winter’s character to resolve the love triangle and make it happen. I don’t hate it on principle though. If you are a fan of Qibli/Moonwatcher and want to write fanfics about it, please do! I absolutely encourage you to do that! Maybe you can fix this mess and turn it into something that’s actually properly handled!
Mightyclaws keeps the power that Darkstalker granted him past the finale. That means all the spells that Darkstalker cast are technically still active. Does that mean the Icewings have to wear earrings for the rest of their lives? Do they get sick again if they take them off? Is Peril forever cursed to think of Darkstalker as a cool old uncle and has to somehow reconcile how everyone else thinks of him? How did the Nightwings relinquishing their powers work, do they have to wear the earrings forever too now?
And there is one more thing to mention.
My confession
You may have already intuited this, if you’ve been following the content of my blog. It is very heavily skewed towards the first and second arcs of the series. I would now like to confess something.
When I read the second half of book 10, I found it so disillusioning, Winter’s fate so upsetting... that I put down the series then and there. And I haven’t picked it back up since.
That’s right, I have not read arc 3. I don’t know if that makes me a fake fan. I know pretty much everything that happens in it, the controversial twist at the end, Pyrrhia coming back into the story later, Snowfall getting brainwashed by a piece of jewelry until she cares about a plot that had nothing to do with her or the fate of the Icewings, etc..
It’s not out of malice, or because it’s a new continent. The opposite in fact; I would have greatly prefered a clean break with a new setting—Bug-themed dragons in a slightly more contemporary, developed environment sounds fascinating and full of potential. I don’t hate Pantala or the new characters.
I just... I can’t really do this again. I can’t handle the thought of Pyrrhia coming back post-Darkstalker, with Winter showing up and talking to these guys again like nothing happened, seeming like a different person, joking around with them like his entire character wasn’t dragged through a mountain of manure to make the plot bend a certain way. I think as long as this is the ending that the story is continuing from, seeing that would just make me miserable.
Maybe I will just stay in the parts of the story that I fell in love with. And imagine a version of reality in which Pantala is allowed to exist on its own, where Swordtail was the fourth POV character of arc 3, where Queen Wasp stayed the villain throughout, and Snowfall got her own legends book about how she reformed Icewing society and fixed all the shit that poisoned Winter’s life, so future generations don’t have to suffer through the same stuff he did.
~~~~~
If you’re still with me, thank you for reading this far. I think this is everything I ever thought about the finale of the second story arc, so now I never have to talk about it again. Writing this was difficult. I found it crushing at times. This will probably stand as the only overtly negative post I have ever made on this blog. I love Wings of Fire, and I want to celebrate it. To add to it, not tear it down.
I hope this wasn’t too boring, or painful, or frustrating, or soul-crushing to read through. I’ll see you later, hopefully with a more constructive post.
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sturnsmadl · 4 months ago
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loverboy!chris headcannons!
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loverboy!chris who built up the courage to slide in your dm's finally.
loverboy!chris who talked to you almost everyday.
"how are you?" "im filming tommorow." "u won't believe what i saw."
loverboy!chris who cut off every girl to focus on you.
loverboy!chris who always mentions flying you out.
"come onnnn. let me fly you out." "ill fly you out."
loverboy!chris who wants you to model for his brand.
"you tryna model?"
"dude i dont know how to model."
"so? you can try for me :)"
loverboy!chris who is always wanting to facetime.
"you tryna call?" "hop on facetime." "you awake?"
loverboy!chris who constantly talks about you to his brothers.
"and shes so fucking pretty."
"tell her that."
"can u shut the fuck up?"
loverboy!chris who really wants to meet you.
"you coming la anytime soon?"
"chris we spoke about this literally yesterday."
"pleaseeee?"
loverboy!chris who texts you like he's your boyfriend.
"good morning." "night babe." "you busy?"
loverboy!chris who makes sure your okay all the time.
"you okay? you looked really upset on ft last night."
"i was just tired :) thank you though."
"okay. you can always talk to me."
loverboy!chris who tells you everything.
"i literally just burped on matt."
"oh?"
"yeah."
loverboy!chris who finally flies you out to him.
"pack your bags ;)"
"omg. chris why did u do that?"
"i need to meet you."
loverboy!chris who gets really happy around you.
loverboy!chris who waited until you met to ask you to be his.
"can i be your boyfriend?"
"oh my- yes. yes.."
loverboy!chris who gets caught cuddling you on your first day meeting.
"shhh...shes sleeping."
"you met a few hours ago."
loverboy!chris who makes sure your ready for any advances.
"you sure?"
"yes chris just kiss me."
loverboy!chris who can't help himself and kisses you a lot more.
loverboy!chris who refuses to be away from you.
"where are you going?"
"to wash my hands.."
"ill come."
loverboy!chris who teaches you at top golf.
loverboy!chris who is so excited when he goes down on you.
"i've been waiting so long to do this."
"fuck..chris."
loverboy!chris who loves everything about you.
loverboy!chris who becomes very confident with you.
"i gotta fart."
"chris!"
loverboy!chris who showers with you to stay near you.
"want me to do your shampoo?"
"you could back up a bit."
"declined."
loverboy!chris who buys you everything you show interest in.
loverboy!chris who kisses your head while you sleep in his arms.
loverboy!chris who loves not sleeping alone.#
"i love that i get to hug you all night."
"its too hot to have you wrapped around me like a koala."
"thats just rude."
loverboy!chris who buys you stuffed animals that remind him of you.
loverboy!chris who sleeps on top of you.
"chris. wake up."
"what?"
"get off i need the bathroom."
"noooo"
loverboy!chris who leaves way too many marks.
"chris..i can't fucking cover them.."
"guess you'll have to show em off then huh?"
loverboy!chris who also loves pissing you off.
loverboy!chris who doesn't let you go bed mad at him.
"nuh uh. were not doing this. im sorry okay? whats wrong?"
loverboy!chris who cries when you find out your pregnant.
"your kidding.."
"no..are you happy..?"
"oh my god..yes.."
loverboy!chris who overbuys for the baby.
loverboy!chris who makes sure you know he's there at the birth.
"im here baby.. your doing so good."
loverboy!chris who takes a picture of him crying holding the baby when its first born.
loverboy!chris who treats his baby like glass.
"nick! careful."
"dude what..? i was just looking..jeez"
loverboy!chris who is so proud showing his brothers.
"look at my baby.."
"hes adorable chris."
"well done buddy."
loverboy!chris who makes sure your okay and provided for.
"you need any water? any food?"
"no im okay thank you.."
"a hug? i mean look what you just did. gave me a child. ur amazing."
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a/n- these r quite far apart events!! this is also awful cause i rushed it smmmm!! i have so much school work to do :(
taglist! @bellaonthelow @muchloveforhacker @moonk1ss3d @sturnclouds @christophersgf @ellizzyy @fratbrochrisgf @phoenix062 @pixxiies @conspiracy-ash @blahbel668 @monroesturnns @gwennybenny @sturnobsessedwh0re @xoxo4chriss @pixie-sticks-are-good @wurlibydominicfike @anitahunt @ilusa @mattstrombolii
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phagodyke · 3 months ago
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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amoressb · 25 days ago
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☆ LOWKEY
pairings : childhood bsf!riki x reader ; friends to lovers
synopsis : in which you and riki have been best friends since you guys were in kindergarten. youre both now in your last year of high school and with all that time together, people would think that you guys were bound to end up falling for each other, right? well, that seems to only be the case for riki. hes fallen in love with you after all this time, especially since you guys tend to flirt constantly, but he knows you dont feel the same. right? either way, he doesnt want to risk losing you so he tries to keep his love for you on the lowkey. will it work?
☆.。.:*。.:*・.:*・.。.:*。.:*・.:*・.。.:*。.:*・.☆
all part of his plan
smau + little written part
previous | masterlist | next
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⋅˚₊‧𐙚‧₊˚ ⋅
once rikis practice finished, you remembered jake wanted to meet at the cafe so you started to gather your stuff. “where you off to pretty?” riki asks confused seeing you pack up faster than before. “oh im going to meet someone at a cafe” you say finished with gathering everything up.
riki didnt want to ask who so he just nods. you grab his arm gently and kiss his cheek. “if i dont msg or call you later ill see you at 6:30 tmr okay?” you smile walking backwards to the door. “alright see you pretty” he waves smiling but having a bad feeling.
you finally arrived at the cafe and waved at jake through the window. he got up and you both hugged each other. “wanna order?” he asks and you said yes. after a bit you both get your drinks and walk out. “alright so where to?” you ask sipping on your drink. he offered the idea of just walking around for now and go into any store that intrigues you both.
you both took the walk as an easy way to catch up. after all it has been a while since you two have hung out. you both expressed how happy and ready you both are for winter break and shared your possible plans. soon after jake found a lego store and you cant believe you forgot how crazy he is for legos. “you can choose any you like im gonna go look around!” as soon as he said that he immediately ran off which left you laughing.
while looking around you found some lego keychains. right there you thought about riki. maybe riki would like to match keychains with you? you smiled at the thought and looked at all the options and came to the conclusion of getting a spiderman and gwen(spiderwoman) keychain. “what did you end up finding?” jake pops up all of a sudden surprising you. “i like these two keychains! this ones for riki so we can match!” you have a huge smile on your face showing him the keychains. jake bought everything and you guys continued to walk.
although jake does like you, like he said he respects riki. so this genuinely makes him happy seeing how even if you two arent around each other, you still find a way to mention riki. this seems to be a good time to bring it up.
“soo ik you and riki are close of course but you ever think of taking if further? or do you see him in any other way?” that question confused you because it was random but it also made you feel something at the mention of riki. did you see riki in another way? then again you had that moment after his practice, you thought he looked ethereal even after he was all sweaty after dancing.
“idk maybe, i did see him a bit different after practice but i try not to. i dont want to risk anything so id say no” and that was his confirmation. yes you two flirt alot but you both do it as a joke even though everyone sees the heart eyes you both have for each other. of course especially riki.
the rest of the evening jake kept bringing the convo back to riki and stating how you should try and show him how you feel. its weird how he kept giving you good advice about it all when youve never even seen him with any girl. heck youve only ever seen him get rejected once. makes you wonder whats he up to?
⋅˚₊‧𐙚‧₊˚ ⋅
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☆.。.:*。.:*・.:*・.。.:*。.:*・.:*・.。.:*。.:*・.☆
*sorry the written part is not too good i was rushing it a bit :(
taglist - @notab1tchwho @ruth-odyssey @kyuremp3 @heartheejake @heenzie @annoyingbitch83 @getoxo @sunooluuvr @moony-mari @luvgiselle @yjwxfxr @crimson-reaper576 @jungwonsjellies @ikeulove @inaisis @jiiyen @stvrriki @keylimejake @seungminsapuppy @who-tf-soddhi @pshwrldd @enhytan @reikaxslvr @i03jae @jkslvsnella @kamfaye @yangjungwonnie @babygirlskz98 @heirdollies @noiiny @brendz00 @gaytron3000 @nctrawberries @aishigrey @h33seungz00 @en-ctzen @bananna-12 @rikidaze @nikistar @lilifiedeans @vixialuvs @strawberrieswithchocolateo3o @jenniferecand @jakeslvt @swanyvess @kittsnewera @rairaiblog @haerinheartss @hooneyz-luver @rikikiynikilcykiki
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loveemagicpeace · 1 year ago
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🥃Astrological Things☁️🥥
🎨Fire signs are full of passion and life and everything they do involves passion. And they don't like being with people who are too serious and down to earth. They always say "okay lets do this". They love to do things and are there for all the drama and action and will always do crazy things with you.
🍬Mercury in Aries are very honest and straightforward. With them, you will always know where you are and what is happening. Everything you ask them, you will get a direct answer. They seem to me to be the most sincere and true with words.
🌙You will feel most comfortable and familiar with people with which you have 4th house synastry. With these you will feel the warmth and feel as if they will always be there for you. You'll feel like they've known you forever. You can feel this with your friends as if they were your brothers or sisters. It's home vibes so u two can be homies or family. Your family can look at them as part of the family. I think this is very beautiful synastry for relationships & friendships.
����Pluto in the 1st house - in the early period of your life you will face many trials. Many people may put you down or not treat you well. Many times I have noticed that they experience contempt from people or people humiliate them. Their early life can be quite difficult - they can attract many people who are jealous of them and wish them ill. You achieve strength later in life. But you transform yourself throughout your life and become an ever stronger person.
✨The difference between capricorn rising and scorpio rising is that capricorns will always get respect. What is one thing i have noticed that no matter what - they always get the respect of others and will always want to be respected. You will make an impression on other people with your silence. You're not going to do anything and you're just going to kill people with your looks. Your energy is very strong. Scorpios, however, want power, and with that they can go through anything to achieve it. Many times their energy can be too intense and tense. A lot of times they do something related to intimacy. Scoprio rising - intimate areas, sexuality..mc leo - sex, playfulness, visibility. Scorpio wants power & Capricorn wants respect.
🔥Mars in 1st house & Mars in 12th house - the difference is that someone who has Mars in the 1st house comes forward angry, aggressive, scary. But he is aware of his anger, which means that whatever he does, he is aware of his limits and how far he can go. Mars in the 12th house, on the other hand, hides its anger and anger manifests itself in many ways. These people can be much more scary and dangerous when someone makes them angry. Many times I notice that these people have at least one contact with weapons or they like it. They like guns. These people could have a collection of guns.
🌛Cancer & taurus moon are similar in that they both will leave if they don't feel the energy in the room of people or wherever they are and both moons don't like to go out with strangers or with really big group of people. They prefer to be with only one person. They both love food and movies. Both of them have a sense of security and always take care of the people around them.
🌱Cancer rising- you are more of an introverted person, prefer to keep back and do not like to be in the company of strangers. You need your own space and I have noticed many times that these people do not like to drive strangers in their car or go to the vacation with them. They don't like it when people invade their private space.
🌼Venus and Cancer - these people are enthusiastic about children, they have a good feeling for children. They immediately immerse themselves in the conversation with them. They are very family oriented.
🥥Capricorn moon people have a lot of empathy towards people. A very friendly moon, otherwise they can be too focused on work and the things they have, but they are very friendly.
🫐Virgo placements especially rising sign a lot of times they are insecure about their body and how they look like. Also a lot of times they don't like taking pictures of themselves for example : for the men -without shirt on it and for woman the body parts the chest or belly. Or any part of the body that is intimate. But a lot of times it's the upper part of the body. Many times they are also very critical of their bodies. I think they have a very beautiful body, but they are too critical of themselves about their appearance. And they look very sexy when they have messy hair!
☁️Taurus/ sagittarius/ virgo placements especially venuses will be very critical of the bodies of other person like they would see the details of the person's body. For example: you like someone's arms and fingers - and the person will gain weight in their arms and suddenly you won't like it anymore, or they will have a too thick neck or their legs will be too muscular - You will see certain flaws on the person's body that you will no longer like. Hard to explain, but there are little things that they notice. Also, if the person goes on beauty corrections or something similar, it can quickly turn them away from the person.
💕Libra placements can sometimes be a little too obsessed with being liked by everyone and having a lot of people around them. Sometimes I have the feeling that they are too obsessed with the fact that people have to love them. They need the love from others way to much. And I have a feeling that sometimes they can be even more obsessed with perfection than virgos. The difference between libras and leos are that libras need people's attention. While Leos need attention to themselves, to be seen for their talents. Or that one person they really love.
🎯Aries in the other hand will always be honest and direct. But people often find them selfish because they focus more on themselves than on the people around them. And yes they could be but also when they love you and they find a connection with you, they will give you a lot of their energy. The difference is that Aries will only give their energy to people they really like and suit them. While libras will give their energy to everyone.
🍿The general energy between fire signs and air signs is that air signs can get along with everyone and will give everyone the same energy. Fiery signs are picky when it comes to people and will only give their energy to those they really like and will find passion with.
🧊8th house synastry create an energy like you have to have this person to yourself. And if the person is not only yours, you can quickly start showing jealousy. You want it to be just your person and you don't want to share it with any other person. These two people, even if they want to, cannot alienate themselves from each other. You cannot let go of this person even if you try. I mean it's very hard to go if you have a powerful relationship with this person.
🧃Geminis are very comfortable talking on the phone in front of other people. They always don't care if someone is around or listening to them. Many times they talk about very personal topics and don't care if anyone is listening.
☁️It's actually the earth signs that hides the most pain in themselves because they never talk about feelings out loud. They don't want to bother other people with their emotions and feelings and all of it. They want to be strong for others especially Moon signs and that's why they never talk about feeling so openly because they always feel this pressure they they have to be strong.
⭐️The signs you have a love-hate relationship with are actually the signs that will give you the most love and growth. For ex.: you have leo in your 8th house and you just hate their energy sometimes or how they made you feel. And all the times characteristics that they have bothers you and they will say all the wrong things to you and you will be like” I just hate them so much”but you will find out that this signs will actually do the most sacrifice for you. They will be the most loyal to you & you will have with them the most deep relationship of all the people in your life.
-Rebekah💗🦋🫧
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gamblersdoll · 3 months ago
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Imagine nanami fingering you in the car while ino drives and cause you’ve been acting up,telling ino your sleeping to avoid conversation
fingering, voyeurism, poor ino.
“just keep your eyes up, or we’ll crash, son.” he reminds and warns, calming ino’s nerves at the same time. “shes’ okay, just tired and falling asleep.”
“okay, mr. kento.” he gulps, hands sweating on the wheel. he chants to himself to calm down in his head, knowing that everything was in fact alright. you were just sleepy is all, right? nanami would know what to do in that time.
and yet, nanami was still upset with you— you knowing not to do certain things like for example.. not telling him that you had been at work all day. you both had one rule: let each other know when you made it to work safe. and yet, you disregarded that one, figuring he’d know you make it.
but rules were rules.
nanami gets closer to your ear, making it seem like he was just putting his head in the crane of yours. “this feel good to you, pretty? proud of yourself?” he questioned, feeling your warmest walls clamp down on the joints of his fingers. “had one simple rule..”
you force yourself quiet, biting your tongue when he starts to curl his fingers into your gooey spot and your legs tremble. your fingers curl themselves around his thick wrists, letting him know you were getting so close.
“i know, i know.” he coos, adding a third finger. “dont even think about squirming, i know you can take three.” he keep’s a chuckle to himself, pulling his fingers out and circling your clit. “doin’ good with this, especially with someone else in the car.”
“do you like making me worry, sweetie? thats not good for you to do.” he asks again, pressing two finger tips into your cervix. “its rude for you to do that, where do you get your manners from?” he pressures the question, clicking his tongue. “guess ill have to teach you all over again, baby. “
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rafeandonlyrafe · 1 year ago
Text
stupid baby
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words: 600
warnings: toxic/manipulative rafe, fighting/arguing
“its seriously not that big of a deal!” you shout, chest rising and falling as you glare at rafe, arms crossed over your chest.
“you're right, that's why you just need to listen to me!” rafe yells back. 
it's a stupid argument, one that only started because you were tired and rafe came home frustrated.
“you just want me to do everything you say, you don't even care about me!” you flop down onto the couch, burying your head in your knees as your curl up, tears falling down your cheeks as they finally spill over, unable to blink them back any longer.
you hear rafe audibly sigh. you've gotten into little fights before, minor arguments that never lasted more than an hour at most, and he's never made you cry before.
“baby-” rafe coos, sitting down next to you, putting his arm around your small frame, tugging you into his body. “don't cry.”
“i hate fighting with you.” you whine, pressing your face into his chest, moving so you can climb onto his lap.
“i know, and none of that would happen if you just agree with me in the first place stupid baby.” rafe says softly, the harsh words not cutting as hard with his sweet tone. you sit up on his lap, rubbing the tears off your face as you sniffle.
“i only tell you what to do when it's to protect you. i want you to be your own person baby, but i also need to look after you and sometimes just need you to listen. okay?”
“yeah.” you nod. “i love you.”
“i love you too kiddo.” rafe says, petting his hands over your thighs. “and i hate having to yell at you, so please don't make me do it again.”
“promise.” you nod, snuggling your chest into rafes, wrapping your arms around his shoulders while he holds you close to him.
rafe presses kisses to your shoulder and neck, nuzzling his nose into your skin.
“i don't even really remember why we started fighting in the first place.” you admit shyly.
“me either.” rafe chuckles. “either way, im glad we worked it out.”
“me too.” you hum, sitting up straight. “maybe we can just chill out? i know we were talking about going to a party but i just wanna stay home with you.”
“that sounds good to me baby.” rafe says, also tired out from the fight and knowing you need to spend some time alone. “why don't you go change into something comfy and then we can cuddle and watch a movie?”
you nod, getting up off of rafes lap. you hurry up the stairs, walking past the mirror and remembering why your fight started. your dress is riding up high on your thighs, and it's fitting you like a second skin. rafe said you couldn't wear it out and when you pushed back for the first time in your relationship, it turned into an all out fight.
you shake your head with a laugh when you realize that the dress not only is too tight and small, but it doesn't even look good on you, hugging your body in all the wrong places while hiding what you want to show off.
you change into pajamas, tossing the dress right into the trash.
“rafey.” you call when coming down the stairs, taking his place on his lap. “you were right about the dress.”
“im always right, honey.” rafe says, like he knew you would come to this consensus.
“next time ill just listen to you.” you promise, giving rafe a kiss before turning to the tv, grabbing the remote to pick a movie for the night.
taglist: @drewstarkeyslut @rafecamerongirl @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog @outerbankspov @drewstarkeyswifehoe @cutielando @kamninaries @buckyswhxre @rafeinterlude @bellbottombaby @deeaardiary @winterrrnight @bejeweledreverie
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howtofightwrite · 8 months ago
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Most traditional boxing instructors will tell you that if the opponent is taller than you, has longer arms than you, or is heavier than you, you're fucked and you need to stay extremely aware and work really hard to compensate for all the advantage he has over you.
In a recent forensic survey, it was determined that most traditional boxing instructors who get into real world altercations die when they're shot in the head.
This is the problem with a lot of these kinds of arguments. No one practices traditional boxing. At least, no one does so publicly. How do I know this? Because traditionally boxers fought in the nude. Yeah, we're not seeing that, are we? Now, maybe they meant bare knuckle boxing, but really no one does that either, these days. Boxing without safety equipment is not a particularly good idea, for fairly obvious reasons.
The only reason the word, “traditional,” is in the ask is to lend their statement unearned credibility. It's an attempt to make their statement sound more authoritative, without offering any evidence to support the statement.
Who said that?
“Traditional people did.”
Okay, but, 'traditionally,' people cleaned shit off their ass with a stick. So, maybe appealing to Hellenic sports isn't the best gauge of how a fight will play out.
Also, I know I just said it, but, who are these authoritative sports guys? Because they're not named. We're simply told, “most,” of them agree. Which starts to sound a lot like “four out of five dentists agree.” Who are these instructors? What do they teach? Why are the currently in prison for indecent exposure? And how much did you pay them to get their uninformed opinion? Salient questions which may need to be answered, if the original question wasn't invalid on its face.
Why do I say it's invalid?
Because boxing isn't fighting.
Boxing is a sport.
Boxing has rules.
Kick your opponent in the groin, or shin, and you're punished.
Step on their foot, push them, and watch them tumble to the ground before you start stomping on them, and you'll be punished.
Throwing your opponent will be punished.
And of course, as mentioned at the top, pulling out a gun and expanding your opponent's mental horizons is extremely frowned upon.
These are all things that can happen in a real fight.
These are all things that do not benefit from increased height or reach.
There is one genuinely accurate statement. In a fight, you do need to be very aware of what's going on around you. Everything else is the product of someone who's been punched in the head repeatedly until the CTEs got them thinking that boxing is analogous to a real fight in any way. (And, statistically, will probably end their career sitting in a jail cell over an aggravated assault charge, because their emotional self-control was completely destroyed by those same head injuries.)
The rules that boxers need to follow are designed to (somewhat) protect the participants. It reduces the dangers of a boxer being killed in the ring. In an observation that I would hope to be self-evident, those rules don't exist in actual combat.
It's also amusing, because the original Asker had to go so far as to single out an ill-defined, “traditional” boxing, because no other martial art they checked gave them the soundbite they wanted.
And, of course, women box. Historically, you could say, “traditionally,” there were even boxing matches between men and women. It wasn't until the 1880s that women were excluded from competitive boxing in the UK. (I'm not sure of the exact date when women were banned from boxing in the US, though that prohibition lasted for less than a century, before the modern return of women to the sport.)
So, either these “traditional instructors” don't know the history of their own sport... which doesn't sound particularly “traditional” to me, or they're full of shit.
My advice to everyone would be, maybe, don't take the advice of a sports coach about how he's secretly an absolute badass in all the delusional fantasies he's cooked up about how he'd like to inflict violence on others because they wouldn't date him.
-Starke
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