#i dont think it was shit and im not actually THAT disappointed with it
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Well. I'm finally caught up with the bad batch and with absolutely NO Rex appearance I just gotta say
#jane journals#silly#self insert talk#💙 oh captain my captain 💙#SPONGEBOB ABOUT TO GET HIT BY ICE CREAM TRUCK VOICE: I'M BEING DRAMATIC!!!!#i dont think it was shit and im not actually THAT disappointed with it#even if there WAS a severe lack of my husband = _ =#but after talking about it with my partner and best friend for a while i gotta say im not....exactly THRILLED either#this is probably nitpicking and i feel like they were probably maybe just on a time crunch??#but it wasnt as much as i expected. in general.#like idk i accepted that a lot of it was rly slow cause i thought it was building UP to something really really big!!#and i DID like a lot of parts of the finale!! it just wasnt as BIG as i was hoping#the payoff just wasnt as good as i was hoping for ig#and thats not to say i wanted carnage and heartbreak#idk ill tag this w spoiler tags but im FINE with it ending happily and the batch being free to explore domesticity#it just DIDNT EVEN LINGER ON /THAT/ FOR THAT LONG THEYRE JUST KINDA LIKE HERE#idk i could go on but i dont wanna sound like im just complaining for the sake of complaining#i just know how good it COULD have been#tbb spoilers#the bad batch spoilers
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i'm actually so pissed that i don't even know where to start..... i've been trying to ignore this for hours but i just can't ☹️
dear everyone on f1blr, i kindly ask you to take franco's name out of your mouth if you don't know him. do not talk about his story if you don't know it. do not call him a pay driver, do not compare him to drivers whose dads are the owners of an f1 team. do not talk shit about him if it's all going to be made-up rumors.
you may hate james vowles as much as you wish to, i don't give a fuck. williams are doing some real random and stupid shit. but is any of this franco's fault? no!! if you'd actually seen him and taken more than 5 minutes trying to learn about him, you'd see how sweet of a person he is and how much he deserves this opportunity, so don't go around spreading lies about it.
#this is not me saying that i think its a good choice (for logan or franco)#this is not me supporting the decision#this is just me saying dont hate on the poor boy!! hes done nothing wrong!!!!!#im so mad at everyone on here whos said something bad about franco#im actually really disappointed#do we not know better than this? it's never the driver's fault#s i g h#like. this is just a poor little kid who's just gotten his biggest dream fulfilled#and yall are shitting on him??? he's been working towards this goal forever and ever and fought through so many hardships#only for you to call him a pay driver??? shut the frick up#logan sargeant#franco colapinto#williams racing#f1#formula one#formula 1
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i knew rebecca would lash out @ ub. but when she didnt do it right away i thought maybe she was being sensible. bc like are they supposed to baby sit the detective? but a tracker on them? not let them out the house? like so if they had showed up and li sar and crispy fried them. then what?
like i rolled my eyes lmao. i have 0 sympathy for her rn. it might change, but it's like 'the person i love more than life itself' or wte. ROFLMAO. had me chortling til i choked. please. ALSO like i feel i would have automatically given her leeway if she wasnt acting like SHE couldnt have done more. lmao.
#does she dare get mad at them when she's the handler?#grapecase rants#twc critical#[to be safe]#rebecca twc#twc book 4 spoilers#the wayhaven chronicles#maybe i will change my mind later. bc i can understand why she's upset and she isnt obligated to be rational about this. its just the hypoc#isy is clogging my sympathy ducts#the audacity is clouding me from feeling anything else but annoyance and irritated amusement with her#lmao#twc#i mean yay for the readers who dont think rebecca is a shit mom/should be forgiven even with the most minimal#im actually not surprised this was written#not even disappointed. just - bleh
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fuuuuuuck i'm wilding this is like 2018 bbc sherlock levels of delusion come ON
#i was such a sucker for the “im the only person in the world who truly gets you” shit#back when i was like 14 and traumatised as shit#and i just#i hate seeing it#because it reminds me of the disappointment i felt when i realised thats not realistic#ive done a whole lot of learning and growing since i was 14#and man i dont want to be reminded of how lonely and desperate for scraps of love back then#im better now#i have a more stable sense of self and respect for myself and understanding of reality#i know who loves me and what they love me for#and yet here i am#anyway im overthinking#i just like the silliness and the medical malpractice and the old man yaoi#not the love confessions where they confess they're actually soul mates this whole time#i dont want to look for crumbs#anyway#i think i just spiralled#pls dont read the tags#rambles#cult rambles
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researching bakugan things and i was going through infinity helios' page on the bakugan wiki and it was like "helios is the second most evolved bakugan having evolved 3 times" and im like "oh cool. i mean obviously number 1 is drago but how many times has he evol- ELEVEN??????"
which is even funnier when mechtanium surge is very much like. "yeah drago and helios are on similar power levels" and im like great it took helios three evolutions to get there and it took drago ELEVEN?????? like ik there is like. unethical science practices and all of that with helios' evolutions but. still.
#the second possibility is that helios is not actually as strong as drago. spectra is just a better brawler than dan.#and that makes up the difference or something.#again the way mechtanium surge uses spectra is so funny. he just shows up when the brawlers are in deep shit#its even funnier that helios addresses that they always seem to be the ones who clean up the brawler's mess#and like. hes right. thats the only reason they're there.#its funny but also kinda disappointing that they dont really interact with rafe and paige at all#i WISH ms treated spectra like they were the darkus brawler of the group of the season. LIKE THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE#im going off topic whoops#okay i think at least one of those evos happen in arc 2 of mechtanium#which i have never watched but still. thats like about 9 or 10 evos to achieve what helios has in 3.#anyway back to my bullshit#im saying im doing research but finding out infinity helios' amount of evos is actually totes unrelated to what im doing
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gets no romantic attention: i want to kill myself
gets romantic attention: i want to kill myself more
#the way this guy pops up in my life every 2 years since i was 16 is astrologically comical bc its always at the worst times#like id LOVE to finally try myself out in a relationship and i deff want to focus on this once im through all the uni and job shit#but please ANYONE but him ANYONE but someone i actually think highly of and someone who deff over romanticizes me in his head for sooo long#bc i know bc ive been told bc i can SEE it#like dude im nothing like the person who knew years ago!!! im trash!!! and im fine with that but you wouldnt be#anyway this year he saw me on the tram i guess#WHEN I WAS UGLY!!!! and crying a bit i guess#and he just haaad to let me know today of all days when im 5 days and 21 pages away from my thesis submission#i want to ghost him so bad i dont want to talk to him i dont want to date him id rather fling myself off the balcony#than to disappoint him#but i also dont want to hurt him??#anyway#someone sedate me
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#so like. the thing is. i functioned for so many years because i felt like there was something chasing me.#and somewhere along the way i lost both my stamina and my fear of being caught#i.e. if your motivation for doing shit is your body screaming YOURE GONNA DIE at you until you do it#you're shit out of luck when death isnt scary anymore#and it sucks too because like. other consequences just dont cut it.#like ooooo im gonna get fired oooooo my life will fall apart. get real.#honestly the only thing slightly motivating is the unbearable thought of being a disappointment which. we don't have time to unpack all tha#and the thing is im trying but i dont think im trying hard enough. like i dont know that i actually want to get better#which is my fault. so even if the rest of it isnt that is.#smth smth i have to save my own life except i dont want to#smth smth that quote where you break your ankle and everyone calls you brave and beautiful and all your enemies die#anyway. sorry for this gang. a) this could have been a poem with the running metaphor if i had the brain for it but i am just. too tired#b) this SHOULD have been a convo w my therapist but im ghosting her so#scream
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im sure ive alrwady said this but veilgaurd called me a bottom in evedy language, most strongly elvhen tho. i cannot stop thinking about elgar'nans lil spiel to the venatori saying 'all you must do is love me, and kneel' like bruh......if rook wasnt so spiteful they probably would have...just to see where he was going with that....
#im afraid of a lot as i get to the end of the game but technical things like the skill tree and subclasses aside#i dont get why people are so unhappy with it#maybe im biased cause i always play an elf but i fucking LOVE learning about elvhen history and how we shaped thedas#and then it all went to shit and our gods hated us and used tevinter to make the world worse#i highly doubt this is the last da game the series is too popular and adding that we can be trans now is a massive improvement#even if i think the lighthouse should have been more like skyhold and let us talk to companions more#and craft the armor ourselves#and ngl i think the lighthouse should have been more of a refuge for those that survived the gods attacks#like anyone from arlathen/dmeta or hossberg#idk im really only bad about the skill tree and subclasses and lack of bards tbh#but truely......the lucanis almost kiss???? everything about being a mourn watcher??? my SHATHANN CALLING ME A TWINK#this game called me a slur#and just the fucking appearance of my lil rook....he looked so blissed when under elgar'nans trance#bellara and neve were so done with my shit there 😭#i do want to play a dwarf really badly next time#or qunari because the games have built a really interesting cuture for them but never really went strongly into it other than like#the arishok and the antaam? but now they mention the devouring storm and thats probably a fuckass big dragon#but now i need to know more#im not done but veilguard very much isnt the conclusion#but my god i cant stop thinking about how vulnerable my rook actually is like from the personality ive given him from myself#if the gods or like anaris found him before varric did.....this would be a very different story and there would be a lot of tears and#begging for a shot at redemption and care#oh god wed disappoint vorgoth......might as well just kill myself if that ever happened#i just love that my rook has become more senstive as ive played and more hurt when he was already not doing so hot for personal reasons#he still has a smart mouth but he wants to cry like 9/10 times he has to make decisions#companions stop asking me to shape their lives challenges#ngl rook would absolutely stsrt bawling his eyes out over manfred begging emmerichs forgivness for wanting manfred back#i just imagine tears coming down his face as he tells emmerich manfred was a hero and he deserves another chance to keep learning so that#next time he does soemthing heroic...hes prepared and wont 'die' by doing it#cause my lil guy knows hes not smart enough to bring manfred back himself
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they werent lying that knuckles series barely has knuckles in it
#i pirated that shit Btw just so we're clear. also gonna talk about it a little bit in the tags#nothing too spoilery but also might not wanna read if you want to go in knowing absolutely nothing? idk#anyway he WAS a main character still he was present for a decent amount of the first couple episodes#but the amount of screentime he gets just starts dropping after that . hes barely there at all in the second half ???#and it feels like theres a lot of scenes mostly focusing on wade and his problems and not near as many for knuckles and his whole deal#overall it feels more like a wade show with knuckles in it than a knuckles show with wade in it. which sucks#and human characters having plot relevance isnt the problem here i dont mind human characters at all i think they can be really fun#its the fact that the human characters are taking over the story and spotlight when the show is called knuckles#and all the marketing makes it look like knuckles is the main focus#and i also would have preferred if they just went with a differnet character to be knuckles' human friend#because i dont particulraly care about wade. and the knuckles (and sonic and tails) i know would not be friends with cops </3#well at least the story wasnt knuckles training wade to be a better cop like a lot of people were expecting but thats like.the bare minimum#also aside from the issues relating to knuckles' screentime (or lack of screentime) i thought the ending was unsatisfying#regardless of all that though there WERE some parts i enjoyed or found kind of funny or whatever. because knuckles so cutesy as always#knuckles being a cute little guy is the most important part of the show actually#and i liked the parts with sonic tails and maddie even if they were only there for like 5 minutes#(i really wish those three had gotten more screentime. i feel like they could have easily worked in at least one more scene with them)#and its a minor thing but the opening sequence is cute. was honestly expecting just a title card or something#overall the show is just . kind of okay i guess. not the worst thing ive ever seen but still disappointing ? idk how to explain..#my expectations also werent very high in the first place#so maybe im being a bit more generous than i would have been otherwise. idk#and i definitely would not recommend this to anyone who already dislikes the sonic movies . youll probably hate this more#like people who thought the human characters got too much screentime in the second movie would lose their minds if they saw this
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every second i spend not making a twisted psychological horror is a second wasted
#my little fucked up brain wants to make little fucked up things but i CANT because i have no motivation to finish ANYTHING EVER#and i also have like zero of the skills required to make the things i wanna make#but the CONCEPTS wont stop FUCKING ROTATING AROUND IN MY HEAD:(((#growlllll#please i just wanna take the basic outline for a horror concept i really really like but then make it actually good#because they fucked it up horribly#well not horribly it just wasn't good#but theres SOMETHING IN IT PLEASE JUST LET ME MAKE IT GOOD#SHAKING YOU#IT HAS SUCH POTENTIAL:((((((((((#man if i had a nickel for every horror comic i read that had some aspect of EXCELLENT horror but they absolutely fumbled the rest#id have two nickels#well actually i dont know if theyve fumbled one they still have the chance to pull through (dont read this im talking about dont read this#the other being everything's fine#ofc#that is the one i REALLY want to take the general concept of and make it better#and by general concept i mean literally nothing in the actual comic and just the ads i got on youtube#i want THAT SHIT#that shit scared me SO FUCKING BAD IT WAS AWESOME#god the fucking dog scene im still not over that#that scene with voice acting + sound effects was HORRIFYING#ESPECIALLY without context holy FUCK#to instill the level of fear that gave me is a DREAM#the whole concept of everything seeming just slightly off#eventually ramping up to genuinely horrible senarios#and for everyone to just pretend it isn't happening#is SUCH. A GOOD. IDEA.#i will NEVER not think thats cool#i just WISH they had lived up to those ads man#the comic was surprisingly disappointing imo
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actually im kinda happy with it lol probably because ive given up quite some time ago but yknow. its not that serious.
#thank ye gods of mediocre adult animation shows for doing everything in your might to de-twinkify him i appreciate it 🙏#they gave my man a moustache AND a sugar mommy#insane. ill take it!#if i had a nickel for every time i fixated on an evil little dude with a moustache and a sugar mommy... two nickels indeed#and that's before i even knew he had either of those! its like i have a sixth sense for this lol#hazbin leaks#tagging just in case#anyway i am kinda disappointed they're taking the sillygoofy way out about it when the huge great evil drama had been so heavily hinted at#but they would have fucked it up anyway so all in all i think this was the best Other way out. AND the song slaps. im happy honestly#anyway time to get into something serious again but ngl its kinda fun obsessing over something thats like. still a work in progress.#i dont get that often. fun! just shameless entertainment! (well not completely shameless but oh well. a little shame is good for the soul)#pity they seemed to have dumbed him down and not in a pilot!alastor way but oh well. ive survived worse shit done to my blorbos 💁♀️#wish we could have just have him stay Actually Fucking Evil and yknow. also Actually Scary. i miss his pilot self every day#but like hey. whatever. we just vibin. the version of this show that exists in my head only is soooo good and ive made peace with it already#the actual show is more like a parody of it and its fine. just give me simple music that slaps and some good voice acting and we good
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google how do i tell my dad that the reason i keep bringing up elon musk's transphobia isn't that i've got gen z political tunnel vision that makes me blind to his "innovation" in electric cars but because i am desperately crying out for you as the father of a trans child to feel just as outraged and angry as i am that that man has so much power
#edit: warning the tags get pretty personal whoops. however tumblr is like a diary to me so. but if discussions of father issues arent for u#it's not anything he's directly said but like. when we talk about it i can tell he's clinging to this like#image of musk as this inventor working for the good of humanity#because he's admired him for a long time and like i get it it's hard to let go of your heroes when it turns out they're trash#but. he's always been trash. is the thing. and i've been saying this.#and it would be nice to feel some solidarity! or support! or empathy idk!#and not like. lectures why tesla is actually progressive or why spacex is the best thing to happen to science since fucking penicillin#and sometimes ppl who push the world towards progress rub people the wrong way#god like. we were in the car the other day talking about it and i mentioned tesla moving to texas bc of the law protecting trans kids#and he mumbled something like well sure yeah he said that but Really... really it's about the taxes......#okay!! who give a shit! that's not the point! the point is that he's got fucking legions of alt right fanboys who hang off his every word#so when he says something that is good for trans people is actually dangerous and bad and hurts kids#and when he openly publicly deadnames and misgenders and LIES about his TRANS DAUGHTER. it's fucking dangerous! and it makes trans people#(IE ME. YOUR CHILD.)#feel unsafe!#it should get you angry! it should make you rethink how you saw him previously! it should make you want to stop supporting him!#idk. i mean my dad has never been like. against me being trans. and he's worked really hard on the pronouns and not deadnaming me#but it's stuff like this where it feels like he doesn't grasp how he's de-prioritizing my perspective as a trans person and.#his Child.#and how his first reaction to me starting t was 'no.. why would you do that :('#it just feels bad. i love him so much but it's shit like this that makes me feel like i don't matter to him or like i'm disappointing him#and then he gets confused when i tell him that i feel that way#wow! sorry for this. i should get serious about finding a therapist i dont think i knew i felt all this until i typed it out#im gonna add a tag at the beginning of this. as a warning. lolololol. lol. anyway#got 2 pick up my t tomorrow and also email my dr for more wellbutrin haha slay! hit the slay button. dispenses ssris.#god i'm so tired sorry i'm delirious actually. also i saw my brother this weekend which was so nice and he's such a weirdo which also#makes me weirder by proxy
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god more i think about ansem in dream drop distance the more upset i get.
#robo ramble#hear me out. there was some missed potential there <- STATMENTS DREAMED UP BY THE UTTERLY DERANGED.#while im all for completely cutting the entire shit with riku and ansem out#i feel like there could’ve been something interesting done there.#idk maybe im just a big reverse/rebirth fan and the pandering to me specifically was done so fucking atrociously#how can you pander to reverse/rebirth fans if you like. miss the entire point of it.#also i think the ansem and terra fight should’ve been separate fights instead of 2 phases.#what if ansem was guardianless during the fight that would be interesting.#I HAVE IDEAS GRGRGSHGA#also i think the fact that the ansem fight is immediately after the black coat nightmare fight was a bad fucking move#GIVE ME A BREAK I JUST FOUGHT THE MOST BULLSHIT BOSS IN THE GAME AND NOW YOU WANT TO SUDDENLY CUT TO ANSEM WITH NO BUILD UP#i need to continue playing ddd but man am i so disappointed#no wonder why my sibling didn’t remember a single thing from this game LOL#just realized i didnt getmy thoughts out about rewriting the story aspect. well.#would you actually want to hear my deranged thoughts because no you dont.
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i think the simultaneously funniest and most frustrating thing abt my brain when things like this happen is that my brain freezes up a bit and can only think of like "aw gee whiz now xyz mundane thing i had scheduled into today won't happen" like girl WHAT there is shit going down and thats what ur thinking about ???
#in emergency situations where i am able to Do Shit i actually am very good at keeping calm though#and doing what needs to be done#in general in stressful situations where im helping other ppl then im such a good person to have around dhdkdl#this came in handy at two of my past workplaces bc i would be able to just do what needed to be done quickly and efficiently#when things got Bad in those places#but shdksl when it comes to situations where I can't do anything or where i dont Know what needs to be done ... augh#then i just shut down a little bit or go numb at least and my brain automatically starts thinking abt mundane and routine things#girl there is a medical emergency happening !!! (''but we've been through this before. several times over the past few months'' says brain)#example a: i feel a little disappointed that i won't get to do crochet with mother like we had planned#example b: i want to go back to sleep even with this all going on#(i feel awful that this is what brain is thinking about rn dhdkdl but. better than incessantly worrying ig? though im doing that too...)#ah well djdlsl I'll go shower so if anything Really Bad happens then at least im clean and dressed and ready to get over to the hospital#dandy.cmd#vent //#medical tw
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Ok so I need to rework my Wendy skilltree concept because klei heard ppl complain abt the combat and went alright then time to completely rework combat but very slowly one update at a time so no one realizes until we straight up give Willow spells
#rat rambles#starve posting#this is abt the new dst beta btw willow and wigfrid are getting skill trees#now I have complicated feelings on parts of their skill trees but this is a beta so Im fully expected attempted improvements at least#<- this is mostly abt the beefalo stuff on wigfrid's since it just feels. so out of place with the rest of her skill tree#but burnie desperately needs better buffs especially since youre required to take a lot of them for the lunar and shadow branches#I also have some complicated feelings on the direction theyre taking the comabt but at the same time it is a necessary change#but at the same time one thats only necessary because of them deciding to take a more boss heavy approach to game progression#basically this is their attemtp to get out of a whole they dug themsleves in#which means that as time goes on dst is becoming less and less of a survival game#which some ppl might like but its still a bit disappointing for a game that caught my interest because of the survival elements#its not terrible tho it just means that the devs have decided upon a new direction for their game to give it more heavy story elements#most of my main issues have come from how clumsy the change has been and how it very much means we're losing the original feel of the game#but original don't starve still exists so its not like I think its the end of the world that theyre differenciating the two more#anyways since the devs are clearly trying to make actual combat classes a thing within dst I think this completely recontextualises things#as in I have to throw all of my past predictions and expectations out the window and look over everyone again taking thin into account#since now theyve shown that theyre fully willing to make completely new mechanics for these skill trees including straight up magic#which reminds me god I hope they dont give wendy spells or some shit#I really really REALLY want wendy's skilltree to mostly focus on abby buffs and sisturn buffs#because if they dont thatll just completely fuck over wendy's whole playstyle and I desperately dont want abby to become obsolete#I also need them to give the sisturn actually good buffs like for the love of god pls its only worth anything in super early game#at Least make the boosted abby regen a worldwide buff it wouldn't even be worth using most the time still but itd be Something#also god Im so scared for walter skill tree. please have it not fall into the same trap as his base kit of being too all over the place#the wigfrid beefalo branch is what makes me worried since thats a very concept over function thing already#same with like. most of wormwoods skill trees#tbf they fixed at lot of the weird wormwood stuff and hopefully they'll fix the weird wigfrid stuff too#most of willow's problems just come from the bernie skills being too weak which is especially funny cause previously burnie was the only#notable stength willow has pre tree#I mean tbf burnie has always been the weaker support between him and abby (imo) so its not like hes been like amazing anyways#but willow is just such a nothing character that burnie is basically why you use her
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the way i started trying to ..start. the silmarillion again and i got so distracted writing my silly little notes in it and then i went down a google rabbit hole about the heraldic devices in it and then about the writing systems that come even before early tengwar and suddenly i look down at the book and I'm not even on the ainulindalë yet 😂
#ooo where is avallónë? oh supposedly the palantír in the tower hills can see the one in the tower of avallónë? SICK#my post#silm#i think this means im enjoying it though#i still dont get why lúthien's device is on the cover beyond..yknow. beren yoinking the silmaril and losing a hand for it#i mean u have the little star thingys around it representing the silmarils from the actual device for the silmarils but i couldnt find anyt#..anything on google for why that specifically as opposed to the actual device for them? i dont have a problem with it yknow im just curi#.. curious. obsessed with the way i phrased that though like ah yes i have beef with jrr tolkien#me reading the children of húrin: im not mad im just disappointed#but in like a tragic way#listen im getting lost in the etymology and shit this is fun i was googling all the names of places i didnt recognize#like#tolkien gateway is dangerous for me bc ill spend so much time just reading#like i was reading abt taliska the other night#or like..i didn't know how freaking close the númenoreans could get without actually beinf able to even reach tol eressëa#like idk i just learn shit all the time? I always think i lnow a lot and then i read about it and im like holy cow ok i understabd why..#..why tolkien scholars are like. a thing actually#like the post abt people arguing whether rohan had bees and then they were like oh shit wait they had mead halls...they had mead...#like can that be me going oh shit the rohirrim have bees
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