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mizunetzu · 4 years ago

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Can you do Daichi x male reader where Daichi asks his boyfriend to come over to meet his team and he forgets and goes home so Daichi give him a call and is like "where you at?" "I cant come I look like a clown." "I bet you dont look that bad." "No you dont get it im in full drag." So his boyfriend comes to the gym in full drag, booby and butt pads, and monster heels, and when he walked in it's like Kags that recognizes him as his drag name.

LMAOOJSKE DRAG QUEEN READEKRNRNF

——————

Daichi x reader - DRAG QUEEN?!

⚠️warnings - drag queen, college first year reader x high school 3rd year (if that’s even a warning skdjd)

Pronouns- male, he/him

——————

Daichi said it on impulse, really.

“Do you guys...wanna meet my boyfriend?”

Everyone in the gym stopped. They were in middle of a practice match between themselves, and just when Yamaguchi was about to serve, he choked on air and missed the ball completely. The ball flew in the air, before landing somewhere near his feet.

Everyone stared at Daichi with a variety of expressions. Some shocked, some looking at him like he ‘said I’m gonna chop my dick off,’ and some who didn’t even care. (Tsukishima, obviously.) Ukai had to call timeout, since no one could focus after what Daichi blurted out.

Suga chuckled awkwardly, slinging a towel over his shoulders. “So uh, ahaha, your um...gay...?” His voice progressively died down into a whisper.

“Yeah. Is...that’s a problem?”

“No! No! I fully support y-“

“AND YOU CHOSE NOW TO TELL US? DUDE, WE COULD’VE LIKE, THROWN YOU A COMING-OUT PARTY!” Tanaka shook his captaincy the shoulders, while Noya squirted water into his mouth with his squeeze bottle.

“Well I don’t really mind, I’m already out, I was just asking if you wanted to meet him.”

“DO WE?! OF COURSE WE DO! DOES HE PLAY VOLLEYBALL?! DO YOU THINK HE COULD JOIN THE TEAM?!” Hinata jumped up and down, slowly inching is way towards Daichi with an awestruck look on his face. He’s rather surprised Hinata isn’t more shocked.

“Yeah. Uh-no, sorry. He doesn’t play.” Daichi chuckled, patting an excited looking hinata on the head. “I don’t think he has work tomorrow, so tomorrow’s really the only time he can come to practice.”

“Work?” Asahi looked up from the towel he was using to wipe off his sweat. “How old is he? Is he a third year?”

“He’s a first year in college. Actually-I think he goes to the college in Sendai.”

Asahi exhaled. It would’ve been weird if someone as young as a highschooler were to already be working, when the could be enjoying their time in classes or clubs. “Where does he work?”

Flashbacks of all the drag shows and money being thrown around a stage whipped across Daichis mind like a slap to the face. He’s sure the team wouldn’t mind, especially because they already don’t mind him having a boyfriend, but he isn’t sure if (Y/n) was ok with him telling his team he was a...y’know.

“...I’m not sure?”

————

“Oh-hello Daikkun! How was practice today?” (Y/n) opened the passenger seat to his door, waiting for him to step inside. Sometimes he liked to pick him up from school before he had to get in makeup for a night show. That didn’t stop him from doing a little bit of eyeliner, though.

“It was nice. I told them they could meet you soon. The team.”

“Really?!”

“Yeah, you don’t have any shows tomorrow, right? I kind of told them tomorrow.” Daichi scrubbed at the back of his neck, while (y/n) started up his car. “I know you’ve wanted to meet them.”

“You bet your ass! Well-I mean I have a show at like 2 am but that doesn’t matter. What time can I come? Are they nice? Didn’t you say there was one who was really short but could jump as high as me in stilettos?”

“Oi-! Focus on the road!”

“Sorry, sorry! I’m just excited. Anyways! Can you come to my show tonight? I’ll sneak you in.”

“Every time I go to one of your drag shows I get scared someone will kick me out since I’m 17.”

“Dude, have you seen yourself?!” (Y/n) gestures over to Daichi, putting emphasis on his thigh-region. “You’re big and muscly enough to at least pass as 18. It’s just a one year difference, when’s your birthday again?”

“I can’t believe you forgot, I’m hurt.” Daichi chuckled, fiddling with his backpack straps on his lap. “Besides, doesn’t your show run kind of late today? I don’t get to choose when to take my classes like you, (L/n). And I have morning practice, so I need to sleep.”

“You’re no fun, Daikkun.”

“Yeah, yeah, My house is over there.”

————

(Y/n) scrolled through his phone for the nth time that day. Fanning himself dramatically, he huffed and buried his face into his pillow. There was nothing to do today, and since he took morning classes, that left him with the rest of the afternoon to ponder, before working at night.

Was there something to do today? Was he forgetting something? He felt like he was, but he couldn’t quite place his finger on it.

He glanced guilty at a tube of light pink lip gloss tossed haphazardly on his desk. A light bulb went off in his head.

Hastily throwing his covers off his body, (y/n) dragged himself over to his closet, grabbing the lip gloss in the process. He shuffled through hangers of clothes, finally pulling out a girls uniform he bought from when he was in high school. He never wore it to school, choosing to wear the boys uniform, but he thought it’d be nice to have when he was feeling fruity.

Slipping on the skirt and cardigan, he walked over to his desk mirror. He unscrewed the wand from the tube of lip gloss, tentatively applying it generously to his lips. He shrugged. He figured he could do some more makeup. It’s not like he’s busy today, right?

Carefully winging the tip of his eyeliner, he took a step back and admired himself in the mirror. He looked cute, yeah, but cute wasn’t really his style. It screamed ‘cute femboy’ rather than his usual ‘sexy ass drag queen dominatrix who could step on you with their sharp ass knife heels’

Damn. He was really about to go all out, huh? Time to bring out the butt pads and fake boobs.

————

Sighing contently in front of the mirror, (y/n) did a little spin, puffing out the length of his dress. Damn, he was hot. And with his impossibly high monster heels? Take me now.

(Y/n) was in the midst of taking a couple cute selfies in front of his full length mirror, when his screen went grey and a caller ID appeared.

‘Incoming call - Daikkun!! <3’

(Y/n) smiled unconsciously and clicked the bright green button with his thumb. He brought his phone to his ear and twirled a piece of his faux wig with his finger.

“Hi Daikkun! Did you need something, cutie?”

“Are you still coming over?” Daichis voice was hushed, and the slam of volleyballs rang though his speaker.

“Uh-what for?”

“To meet my team? Where are you?”

Fuck.

(Y/n) paled as he eyed himself in the mirror. He couldn’t show up looking like that. And it was too much to take off before Daichis practice ended. This was the only time he had to meet this team Daichi had always been talking about, and he’d completely forgot.

“...I can’t, I look like a clown.” (Y/n’s) voice came out a hoarse, nervous-chuckly whisper. He could taste the expensive red lipstick sitting on his lips.

“I’m sure you don’t look that bad.”

“Dude no, you don’t understand.” (Y/n) picked at the hem of his dress, the silicone boobs suddenly squeezing his chest a bit too tightly. “I’m in full drag.”

A silence rang out from both sides of the line. Daichi awkwardly chuckled.

“Ahaha uh-didn’t you say you didn’t have work today?”

“No! No I-I don’t have work til like-later later but like-I got bored and I forgot I was gonna meet your team today...sorry-“

“Well I’m sure they won’t mind if you show up in drag. I mean-they seemed pretty ok with knowing we’re a thing so...?”

(Y/n) gulped.

“...I guess I’ll see you in ten minutes then.”

—————

“Good work everyone!”

Ukai dismissed the players, leaving them to start rolling up the net and cleaning up the gym. Sugawara jogged up to the captain, dragging his mop lazily behind him.

“You said your boyfriend was gonna come today, right? Where is he?”

“Uh,” Daichi checked his wrist, before realizing he didn’t have a watch and fished out his phone. “He should be here any minute now-“

Just in time, the doors to the gym creaked open. Daichi smiled, leaving Suga to trail behind him curiously. He reached for the door handle, giving it a firm pull.

In stepped a boy with a long synthetic wig on, and heels that made him tower over Daichi easily. The sharp platforms of his heels clicked with each step he took, jewelry and accessories also bobbing up and down. And not to mention the ‘bobbling’ the silicone boobs made. Jeez, even if they were fake, they did still jiggle a hell of a lot.

(Y/n) bent down daintily, pressing a kiss onto Daichi’s cheek. Lipstick smeared on his sweaty cheek, leaving a dark imprint on the side of his face. (Y/n) seemed to finally take notice of all the astonished stares directed at him.

Should he A, stand beside his boyfriend awkwardly and pick at the loose thread of his dress or B, put on his confident drag persona and play it off?

He chose B.

(Y/n) smirked and leaned on on of his feet, placing a hand on his hip. “What? Like what you see, boys? I’m afraid I’m already taken, though.”

Fuck. Fuck fuck. Fuck. Even with the confident display, (y/n) couldn’t help but stay somewhat behind Daichi, trying to shrink behind his 10 inch heels.

Immediately, a bald guy and a kid with a bleached strip on the front of his head erupted into excitement.

“Yo! Sick dress, dude!”

The atmosphere lightened up tremendously. (Y/n) let go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Well thank you, Mr. Bleach strip.”

The bald one, who introduced himself as ‘Tanaka’, slapped Daichi on the back. “Dude! What’s with all the surprises?! You tell us you have a boyfriend but you didn’t tell us he was a drag queen?!”

“I-to be honest I didn’t know he was in drag today-I didn’t know he had work.”

The closet door opened, with Hinata and Kageyama walking out from placing the net inside. Hinata gasped excitedly, while Kageyama froze. Hinata practically bolted towards the unknown person wearing heels and jumped up to his height. (Y/n) choked on air. This kid practically flew at him.

“Wow! Are you one of those ‘drag queens’ I see on tv sometimes?! Cool! That’s so cool! I-“

“ARE YOU QUIMCHI?!”

Hinatas throat closed up, along with (y/n) after hearing his stage name being called out so...dramatically. The boy continued.

“...F-FROM THAT ONE INTERVIEW THEY DID ON THAT ONE CLUB ON THE LATE NIGHT SHOW WITH SHIN’ICHI HATORI?!”

Kageyamas booming voice rang through the gym as he pointed at (y/n) with wide eyes. Everyone’s gaze went from (y/n) to Kageyama, who was frozen in place. Even (y/n) was a tad bit confused.

The club he worked at recently had a special done on TV, and (y/n) was only in the background. He didn’t know how this...boy recognized him from that, or why he was even watching the drag special on that show in the first place.

“...yeah...yeah I am,” (y/n) smiled awkwardly and a boy with blond hair and glasses chuckled from somewhere in the gym.

The boy, with another guy with dark-green hair, walked out from the storage closet aswell. “Who knew the king was into that kind of stuff? Drag queens? No disrespect, ma’am-sir.”

Kageyama seemed to unfreeze just to glare at Tsukishima with a flushed face. “I-IM NOT! MY STUPID SISTERS JUST A BIG FAN, IS ALL!“

Kageyama turned to (y/n), and marched scarily fast towards him. He stopped abruptly and bowed his head so far it made (y/n) take a step back.

“M-MAY I HAVE AN AUTOGRAPH FOR MY SISTER?! AN-AND MAYBE A PHOTO TOO?!” Kageyama stiffly held his arms to his sides as he kept his head down. Small chuckles and snorts sounded from all around the gym, (y/n) even joining in and patting the black haired boys head.

“Sure thing, doll.”

————

“Your team was nicer than I thought.”

Daichi looked up questionably, fastening his seatbelt. (Y/n) started up his car. “What do you mean, nicer?”

“Well-I thought they were gonna be a bunch of meatheads banging their heads together. They’re actually more interesting than I thought they were going to be. Especially that Kageyama guy.”

Daichi smiled contently. “I’m glad you like them, then.”

A comfortable silence breezed by them, the only sounds audible being the hum of the car engine and the soft tapping of Daichis nails against the armrest. Daichi stole a glance at (y/n). His wig was discarded, placed neatly on the backseat with the wig cap and hairpins resting underneath it, and his hair was slightly damp and messy due to being constricted. His lipstick was a bit smeared from when he kissed him on the cheek, and droplets of sweat gathered near his hairline.

Daichi set his fingers lightly on the spot where the lipstick mark sat, caressing it softly so the lipstick wouldn’t smear more that it already has. He exhaled softly and shifted his gaze back down. He wouldn’t mind if he came to his practice again.

“...so wanna come to my show tonight, Daikkun?”

“It’s at 2am, no.”

—————

Extra:

Kageyama: miwa.

Kageyama: MIWA.

Miwa sighed and checked her phone, sliently scolding her brother for bothering her. She stretched and rubbed her eyes. She swore, if Tobio wanted a ride home from practice...

Miwa: mm

Kageyama: -photo sent-

Miwa: DUDE

Miwa: AJDJSKDKF

Miwa: HOW THE FUCK

Miwa: TELL ME YOU GOT QUIMCHIS AUTOGRAPH DJFJDJE

Kageyama: -photo sent-

Kageyama: I DID. I GOT ONE FOR U AND ONE FOR ME

Kageyama: HE WAS SO TALL TOO

Kageyama: LIKE HE WAS A HALF FOOT TALLER THAN ME EVEN WITHOUT THE HEELS

Miwa: WHY WAS HE AT UR PRACTICE WHSHD

Kageyama: apparently he’s dating my captain

Miwa: WHAT RHE FUCKCIDNEBRJ

——————

#daichi x male reader #daichi x reader #daichi sawamura #daichi sawamura x reader #daichi hcs #daichi x you #daichi hq #sawamura daichi #daichi fluff #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x male reader #haikyuu fanfiction #hq x male reader #hq x y/n #hq x you #hq x reader #haikyu x reader #haikyuu daichi x reader

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fandom-obessesive · 4 years ago

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Shifting pt 1

——

A/n: Hey guys, sorry for my absence, i just got a new job and trying to wrap my head around the fact the I’m apparently bipolar lol which explains a lot but anyways, I hope you enjoy part one, and have a wonder day. Also Once again I’m sorry for how long this took.

Paul lahote x reader

Word count: 659

Warning: swearing

Request: Can I make a request? A Paul X female reader where he was kinda mean to her and picked on her before he shifted but now that he has he imprinted on her and he has to convince her to give him a chance? I’m just a sucker for an enemies to lovers story and I really like your writing and just binge read your posts lol

(I appreciate your support and I’m sorry I didn’t answer but I hope you enjoy part 1❤️ @amandak27 )

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Alright let's get one thing clear, you were nowhere close to being a teacher's pet or a star student, definitely not an annoying know it all that got hundreds on every assignment and project, colleges wouldnt be breaking down your door asking you to go there when the time came to choose, but your grades were alright and if you knew an answer to a question, you didn't really have a problem saying it. Simple as that right? Nope. Apparently knowing anything at all in class gave a certain hot headed jerk named Paul Lahote the grounds to label you as a nerd.

Honestly you didn't know what his problem with you was, ever since the start of freshman year he's felt the need to taunt and tease you anyway he could. Stepping on the back of your shoes, snide comments during class or in the halls, knocking into you whenever possible, and dont even get me started on gym class. Any class you didn't have with him was a safe haven. At some point you started carrying extra clothes with you because of cafeteria “accidents”.

You even tried learning his schedule so you could try to avoid him, ofcouse word got around though and the next thing you know, he was bullying you for ‘liking’ and ‘stalking’ him. You could admit that he was attractive, but because his personality mimics that of a pile of horse shit that's been set on fire, it would have been over your dead body.

Now having said that, lately he's been acting really strange, not only has he been harassing you less but he's stuck to just blowing up on anyone that got in his way or looked at him wrong. Not that you werent elated that your days at school are a bit easier to get through, but considering he's kept this act up for almost three years, the fact that it's been toned down by almost 75% had you a bit more than suspicious.

---------

“Pleeeeaaasseeee (Y/N) come eat lunch with me in the cafe with Ash, Paul’s quit his bullshit, he's not gonna do anything, and besides youve had the same spare clothes with you for a week! Just test it out, see how it goes!” Your friend Melody begged trying to pull you to the cafe.

“No, I dont trust it,” you pulled her to you and pointed at her “this is a trap, he's planning something, I can feel it.” rolling her eyes she pushed your finger out of her face and smiled.

“Welp I guess we'll see cause here he comes.” She said looking behind you. Panic flooded your body, so you took Melodys arm and raced through the crowd of kids in the way and ran over to where your mutual friend Ash was sitting and ducked behind their chair.

“Hey weirdo, hey melody” they said, not looking up from their phone while pulling up a chair for you. Melody chuckled and sat beside your empty chair as you watched Paul walk in, not talking your eyes off of him from your hiding spot behind Ash until he had gotten his launch and sat down.

“Dude, pop a squat, you're fine.” Ash said, turning around to look at you, amusement gleaming in their green eyes.

Hesitantly you sat down between the two of them still watching him ignoring his lunch and playing on his phone instead.

For the first time in a very long time, you had a nice lunch break with your friends, talking about classes, that days gossip, and your after school extra credit tutoring for a someone in your history teachers class.

Before you knew it the bell rang and you happily made you way down to the library to meet the student youd be tutoring for a few months and sat by the table near the door where Mr. Sohn said they would meet you.

Getting all your notes out, you grabbed “Doctor Sleep” By Stephen King and read while you waited for them to show up.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me”

Your head snapped up at the voice, and low and behold, Paul Fucking Lahote stood at the door by the library looking right at you.

---------

A/n: I think we all saw that ending of part one but i hope you enjoyed regardless, and again, im really sorry about my absence. I hope you have a wonderful day

Taglist: @amandak27 @fangirlanotherjust @kettnerjanea @dillybuggg @its-la-push @britty443 @stylesluxx @ri-wantstorunaway @cncogirl18 @ineedmorefanfics

#paul lahote oneshot #paul lahote fanfiction #paul lahote x reader #paul lahote imagine #paul lahote #twilight x reader #twilight imagine #twilight fanfiction #twilight #quileute #wolfpack x reader #wolfpack #wolf pack #wolf pack imagine

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voidlitmoon · 4 years ago

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One Trainer’s Trash is Another Pokemon's Family

So if you didn't know, i ended up taking a hiates from writing ANYTHING for a bit, but I was just sitting around earlier and thought "huh, there was that oneshot I kinda wanted to write" and BOOM im formating this at 2am when I finished writing so I can just post this in the morning.

Also note me writing this does not mean I'm fully back to writing because I tbh have no clue when I'll be back in full writing mode, a lot of stuff is going on irl around health issues (I'm good dont worry, just trying to figure out this issue so we can fix it) and my mind hasn't been able to put words together into written sentences well recently for anything, so exspect everything and nothing!!

So @sugarglider9603.... enjoy! If anyone seems off its probably because I haven't wrote in like 4 months :D

Ao3 link

Ao3 series link

Master Post

Words: 1,651

Summery: ' "I found a child in the trash!" Trash Eevee declared happily. The Eevee on watch somehow looked skeptical from behind, but curiosity got them to turn around.

Green and brown surprised eyes hit his own, he felt as the others eyes looked him over from his unnaturally purple eyes to dark brown fur.

"I.. I-" the other stammered in surprise.

"Can we keep him?" His founder vibrated, excited. '

A chance encounter is about to change three lives forever

“Slow down!” the Eevee hissed to his companion, running through the crowd of humans to catch up. His green and brown eyes swept the crowd, making sure no one grew suspicious and followed the two Eevees, sighing as he thankfully saw everyone's gaze sweep past them, uninterested.

There had been a few incidences when a trainer or a ‘nurse’ had tried to catch them, whether for his strange fur markings, trying to get his friend’s fur cleaned (no one held him for long once that information was leaked), or purely for them being Eevees. He’d heard it all, common lines being “hey are you lost?”, “where is your trainer?”, “is that a wild Eevee?” and of course, the most common

“I’ve got to catch it!”

Heh, no one had succeeded yet, and he didn’t plan that to change any time soon. Or ever.

“Not sorry” the simple line snapped him out of his thoughts as he looked over to the grinning Eevee that probably did need a bath “but I heard yelling in the back alley of the Good Place, and I just have to see if it's new!” The ‘Good Place’ was a restaurant the two constantly saw in their travels from town to town. While they couldn’t read the written name, and wouldn’t dare get close enough to a human to simply know the name when it had no use to them, it always had an identical symbol at every location. It was his trash loving companions (and though he would never admit it, his own as well) favorite location to get food.

“Very well, lead the way” with a flick of their tails, they rounded the last few corners to the back alley where two large dumpsters lay. As a Trubbish scurred off at the sight of them they both leapt up, balancing as they opened one off the lids.

He sat watch as the other squealed and dove in, rummaging through and ripping open plastic bags with sharp teeth. They always had the same parts when working together, he would keep watch making sure no one saw them from the regular path or had any workers walk out the door, while the other would search, eating what he wanted and tossing stuff up to save for later. They had tried to swap jobs once, but it was a mess that nearly got them caught if it wasn’t for his own keen ears, so they kept to their own and worked together.

He glanced at the door, the symbol imprinted on it. Doing this dumpster diving always reminded himself when he was alone. How he’s grateful to have a friend. Actually, doing it at the Good Place always reminded himself when he met the trashy Eevee. It was just after-

A paw swatted at his face, causing him to dodge. He seemed to be falling into nastolga easily today, he thought shaking it out of his fur.

“Did you hear me? I said all these bags have already been looked through” the other huffed “they must have used the other one, which is weird because they usually use the one closer to the door first….” he frowned, confused before brightening “anyways can you help me open the other lid?”

The clean Eevee nodded, hopping across to the other dumpster.

______________________________

Sta- he shivered, the angry yells still echoing in his ears. She was so mad when she discovered there was no dragon evolution, when she finally discovered he was completely useless. He glanced at the snapped pokeball at his paws, fallen through a space between a few garbage bags.

He knew he had to get out of here, but what was the point? He was with a trainer up till now, and while she was horrible he was still at least alive. But to try and survive on his own? No, he might as well just curl up on this garbage, might as well just

A scene flash in his mind, of a Pecha bush laying under a sprawling indigo sky. Two other faces similar yet different then his, laughing, smiling.

He couldn't give up, not yet, not until he could find them again.

Chatter and a crash of heavy plastic hitting a wall distracted him from the thoughts racing through his head. He pressed low against the bags, ears flat as he waited. Were there people taking trash out? No.. that didn't sound human, that sounded

The lid thunked twice, before late afternoon light poured down onto his dark brown fur. He froze as another pokemon fell down in front of him, another Eevee.

He was bigger, though everyone was bigger. His fur seemed to be a normal shade of brown, yet it was hard to tell with all the dirt and dust coating it. He looked up into the newcomer's eyes, surprise and delight filled them to the brim.

"Oh? OH!" The other gasped for only a moment before flashing forwards, grabbing him lightly by his scruff and before he knew it St- he was in open air and sat on the hard plastic lid.

"Hey hey!" The Eevee scrambled across to another Eevee, his turned back to the both of them. The third Eevee's ear twitched to show they were listening, watching the humans walk by.

"I found a child in the trash!" Trash Eevee declared happily. The Eevee on watch somehow looked skeptical from behind, but curiosity got them to turn around.

Green and brown surprised eyes hit his own, he felt as the others eyes looked him over from his unnaturally purple eyes to dark brown fur.

"I.. I-" the other stammered in surprise.

"Can we keep him?" His founder vibrated, excited.

"Hmm" seemingly gaining his composure, the one on watch came over to inspect him further, sniffing curiously at his fur "I don't think so, he smells too much of humans" the trash Eevee visibly shrunk.

"No!" He cried, snapping his jaw closed at the sudden speaking "I, I me- mean no, I had a trainer, but I don't have one anymore" he attempted to explain, hissing at himself for stuttering.

"I uh" he coughed, attempting to clear his throat, "I, I'm sorry for disturbing your search" he flicked his tail toward the two before curling it around himself, finally looking into the others faces. It was at the moment he noticed the strange markings around the single green eye on the watcher.

"It's no problem," the calmer one replied. He looked as if he were about to continue, before the trash Eevee popped "hey, have you gotten food today?"

He blinked, thinking about all that happened since dawn. Dawn, when his trai- ex-trainer had learned the news.

"I.. haven't?" He tried, not wanting to test his luck. They were strangers, he had to be cautious.

"Here!" The other dove back into the trash. He leaned over frantically, thankful to see the pokeball halfs had sunken out of sight. If they ever asked why he was in there, he would just tell them he was looking for food.

No one would find out the true reason. Well.. maybe two others, but that would have to wait till he found them again. He would find them again.

The walking trash pile hopped back up, dropping what seemed to be a freshly thrown away berry skewer at his feet.

He looked up, alarmed "no, I couldn't-" "oh don't worry" the other's purr sounded like a motorcycle "we'll survive without a few berries."

While he was still uncertain, his stomach grumbled with hunger so he bent down and took a bite of closest fully intact berry. When the sweet familiar taste hit his mouth, he barely stopped the tears. Arceus really had to do that, didn't they.

"Everything ok?" He looked up from the Pecha berry, the special marked Eevee looking at his watery eyes with concern.

"Y-yes, just haven't eaten anything this sweet in a while" he lied quickly, finishing what he could before pushing towards the others "here, might as well not let this go to waste" he smiled.

The marked Eevee hummed before taking a bite from a nearby Oran berry.

After a bit, the dirty Eevee spoke a question he knew was coming "so, you said you had a trainer, do you have a name?"

He paused, thinking, before shaking his head "she never gave me one."

The others nodded in understanding. He looked out at the people walking in the street, passing by with no clue of the trio sitting on the dumpsters.

He didn’t have a name, not to them at least. To them, he would be the Eevee that they found, the Eevee they took in, the Eevee one day they would realize they see as a brother, the Eevee that would inevitably disappear in the back of a truck

One day there would be another family, they would know him as Virgil, Virgil who they found in the forest, Virgil who followed them everywhere, Virgil who got caught finally by his own free will

But no one would know him as Star but his original family. No one would know him as Star, the being who hatched into the world with an angry scream that was not his own, Star, the one who fell in love with the sky on his first night of his existence, Star, the one who found family and then was ripped away from it in his sleep

Star, who would keep searching till the ends of the Earth to find his family.

But for now, he was just a strange looking Eevee in a strange situation, hiding his name from everything and everyone, and that was ok.

He glared at the crowd of humans walking by peacefully. There was only one thing left from his life with.. with the Dragon, one thing he would keep

He would never trust another human again.

#the moon has spoken #the moon has writen #WOAH THATS A TAG THAT EXISTS #sorry it honestly feels like its been forever since i wrote #do not post to another site #i will post it where i want it posted on the account i want it posted on #alright long list o tags? NO CLUE K LETS GO (someone let me do this tagging at 2am who did it)#teaming the pieces together #sander sides #sanders sides #pokemon #virgil sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #DO NOT ADDITIONAL TAG FOR ANY OF THESE THREE LIKE 'TWs' OR DUKEDONTLOOK PLEASE #it makes me really sad especially since they're super sympathetic in this AU #i feel like i wrote their encounter in a bad way hekkkk but i also dont wanna rewrite it #theyre Eevees not humans go awayyy #food tw #eating tw #garbage #trash #please tell me if i missed any tags #also please tell me if i went to exstreme in any area (includeing my ramble in the tags)#im a growing writer and also really tired right now ao i might have ssid something too extreme and if i did #im honestly very very sorry

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mystt · 5 years ago

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i have a lot of thoughts about the state of homestuck right now and no one to talk to about it. im so sorry

i really want to love june egbert with all my heart, accept her with open arms!!! i relate so much to the idea of a weird awkward guying going thru a lot of his life feeling like something was wrong, like there was a disconnect between himself and the rest of the world, only to eventually realize that the problem was so deeply rooted that he never even realized that it could BE the problem! all of the art has been amazing, of seeing this just-out trans girl finally ecstactic to be herself and her friends meeting her for the first time all over again. the #juneisreal party on twitter yesterday was the most joyous and connected ive seen the homestuck fandom be for a long time!! but, because this is homestuck, i dont think everything about this situation is all sunshine and rainbows, not in the longterm anyway.....

frankly, a lot of ppl aren’t too happy about this, and they have every right to feel that way. i can sympathize with those people because tbh i wasn’t a huge fan of roxy being transmasc in the epilogues (to be fair, theyve grown a lot on me now that ive had some time to think about it / see content involving them)! john has been an established character for a long time, someone that a lot of ppl have grown a very deep and personal connection with! its totally possible that someone read homestuck, interpreted john’s character in a very similar way to i just did, and come at the totally opposite outcome! maybe john is actually a trans guy and has a lot of trepidation navigating sexuality and gender because of it. the point is that all of it is valid, and as long as everyone respects eachother’s headcanons we’ll all be fine and dandy, right?

well, with hussie making her ‘real,’ the fandom dynamic around june (and roxy) content will inevitably change. the letter that hussie wrote for the epilogue is a bunch of garbage but it basically boils down to the epilogues not really being an epilogue but an on/off ramp to whatever homestuck ends up being in the future. this all but guarantees more june/transmasc roxy content, which im totally down for, but will that content be as ‘dubiously canon’ as the epilogues were? and if not, what happens then?

are we supposed to believe that basically all homestuck content from this point on is al-a-carte, where each reader is able to pick and choose what is and isn’t canon? we were already doing that, but that’s the fandom’s job! call me crazy but there has to be some separation between fanon and canon! otherwise, you get complete mob-rule anarchy, which we’ve already seen wrt roxy and june!

homestuck is in a lose-lose situation with its characters at this point. the core appeal of the WHOLE DAMN COMIC is that all of its characters have very defined personalities and very amorphous everything else. homestuck is so everlasting because every reader comes out of it with their own permutations of each character in their head.....almost like.....a headcanon, u could call it!

but at the same time, homestuck has to have more ~representation~ in its cast nowadays. its just the trend that all media is following as people demand to see more of themselves reflected in the things they enjoy. that is absolutely valid in most forms of media where characters are well-defined in their identity, but that doesn’t work with homestuck, because no matter what you WILL be stepping on the toes of someone’s version of a character that they’ve been fostering in their own head for god knows how long

i think there ARE ways to make homestuck’s cast more diverse in a concrete way without making everyone upset! the first is to......make new characters......if homestuck really is entering a new era, why can’t it burst onto the scene with a new rainbow cast of misfits for everyone to imprint themselves onto? not enough trans mlm rep? why not make a new one (that isnt lanque)! not enough canon autistic rep? hire an autistic person to make an autistic character! friendsim would’ve been perfect for this, but they didnt take advantage of it basically AT ALL (and where they did they......kinda fucked up lmao)

something else ive seen suggested is to establish new identities for characters that don’t fundamentally change who they are. if you’re like me and you think homestuck needs more trans girls, why would you take JOHN of all ppl and make him mtf when you have a perfectly good rose....or jade....or terezi (or roxy but eh. thats not on the table anymore) right there!

and i think its important to say that i dont blame this at all on the original creators of the june headcanon, i appreciate what theyve done and the works theyve inspired a lot! its not their fault, but things have really REALLY got out of hand. with pesterquest on the horizon, i think we’re in a fascinating and nervous period for homestuck. things are going to be changing soon, and i dont know if its gonna be for the better :C

#homestuck #homestuck epilogues #homestuck fandom #look. im hoping at least SOMEONE will read this a;lkdsjf #masc roxy ment

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not-a-space-alien · 5 years ago

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hey its me again wall of text sorry not sorry

k i saw your little treatise justifying zadr and yknow its a cartoon its not the worst thing ever of course nobody is gonna sue you for reblogging fanart or burn you at the stake or w/e and im glad you decided to open yourself up to a differing opinion but zim IS portrayed as an adult. there was even an unfinished episode where zim’s childhood and growing up training from start to finish would be shown so by the time of the pilot he is definitely a full grown developed adult by irken standards especially if hes a former member of an elite military force like the invaders. jhonen has said that the irony and sad comedy of zims character is that hes a grown ass man and a war veteran to boot who VOLUNTARILY goes to an elementary school every day and throws hands with an 11 year old boy who should be well below his notice because he’s that pathetic and desperate for validation that he’ll stoop to seeking it from a child. it also sets up a dynamic between them where dib is CHALLENGED by having to go up against an adult with way more experience than him while dib is just a child, so when he wins its more meaningful, which is a common trope in childrens fiction that an underdog young hero has to take down a powerful adult villain.

jhonen might joke a lot but he’s serious about this part of the characterization of zim and dib and he even went to great lengths to make dib look and act more like a kid in ETF (more emotional and naive, designed to look smaller/softer, going in depth with his relationship to his dad and sister and needing his dad to protect him at the end when he’s too overrun to fight alone) just to drive home the point of how young he is. it was a very deliberate move and jhonen knows what hes doing ESPECIALLY since he also left zim pretty much unchanged and also includes gags about zim’s relative maturity like animating him briefly grimacing because his joints are sore and the part where he pretty much gestures to his crotch and goes “theyre afraid to look at ALL-A THIS”. like you would not see jhonen do that sort of joke with an underage character ok. dont confuse his social awkwardness and self deprecating/trolling humor for not knowing the difference between right and wrong and not acknowledge when he means something sincerely because he doesn’t just clown on people and troll ALL THE TIME 24/7 hes a human, and times have changed with more awareness on issues such as the grooming of minors so he can go back on things he may have said in the past that he doesn’t agree with now or said by mistake. he has said enough times that zim is older than any human alive that its safe to take his word for it by now. judging by the one strip he did in JTHM about johnny murdering a pedophile who was about to prey on squee i think his stance on protecting kids is pretty clear. also i wouldnt put it past jhonen to have redesigned membrane to be more chaddy looking to divert the adult fandom’s attention away from dib and throw the fangirls a bone but thats a whole nother can of worms lol.

and the justification that zim is immature so hes essentially on dib’s level is a reversal of something lots of kids hear from either creepy or ignorant adults who tell them theyre “so mature for their age”. no matter how emotionally mature you are it wont ever compensate for the number of years youve been alive so that’s not very sound logic, and even in fic where theyre both adults it’s still pretty weird because it doesn’t erase their history where zim knew dib as a kid. that’s sort of like a grownup waiting with bated breath until a kid is “legal” so they can start dating. kinda like when jacob imprints on bella’s newborn daughter in twilight then having it handwaved away by saying he’ll wait till she’s grown up, which understandably drew a huge amount of criticism. it’s a loophole that might be mildly acceptable in some cases but the context leaves it colored with a residual ickiness that sets off some red flags for me and a lot of other people.

also you said zim is an alien and therefore the situation itself is unrealistic, but the reason invader zim’s writing resonates with people is because zim is written with very HUMAN emotions and motivations and part of the humor again is how irkens despite being aliens from another planet mirror some of humanity’s worst flaws such as being petty, gluttonous, willfully ignorant, arrogantly believing they are special and better than everyone else, easily manipulated by propaganda, all too eager to greedily colonize other societies etc making them not so different from us at all. so the premise out of context might not seem realistic but the idea of a sad burnout adult who doesn’t realize how humiliating it is to be consistently outsmarted by a kid less than half their age IS realistic and applicable to human interaction since we’ve likely all met someone like this before at one point in our lives for example a schoolteacher who has a personal vendetta against one or more of their students and has nothing better to do than antagonize them, or a really dumb parent that you fight with a lot.

another thing, i know you and other fans probably have a lot of sentimental value and nostalgia attached to zadr because you probably shipped it back when you were a kid yourself and you cant be blamed for something you liked as a kid, but youre an adult now, and you have to listen to the portion of kids in the fandom who dont like zadr and say without question that the age gap makes them uncomfortable. those kids ARE the priority. we’re grown up now and we have to put our feelings aside for them because that’s part of being responsible and mature. i feel like zim himself is a pretty good example of how not to act at our age [shrug emoji]

and anyway a lot of the same elements of zadr can be explored with zadf just as well with just as much potential for cute moments and as a bonus is it’s not creepy

You do bring up some good points, and I’m not saying you’re wrong... But honestly I’m still not convinced. I mean, stuff that Jhonen said, the thing is even if it’s the author saying it it’s still outside of canon, that’s the reason why Neil Gaiman got flack for Good Omens because they didn’t write an actual kiss or hug or hand-hold between Aziraphale and Crowley yet Neil Gaiman went on Twitter saying they were queer representation. I still don’t really put much stock into what he says because the unfinished episodes and Jhonen’s commentary don’t really change the dynamic that’s actually in the show. And again...Jhonen said if there were going to be romance in the show it would be Zim/Gaz, so he’s either a huge hypocrite or doesn’t view Zim as being incompatible with Gaz.

I do think it’s much better when Dib is an adult and it just makes more sense, and I actually do prefer zadf to zadr and if i were going to ever write fanfiction or make fanart it would probably just be zadf, just because i know this does have some stuff to think about and I totally respect that you have a different view of it, but i honestly just don’t see it that way. The analogy with Jacob imprinting on Bella’s child in Twilight isn’t really the same thing honestly. The author in that situation tried to make it not......that....by saying that imprinting isn’t always a romantic relationship thing, and that Jacob would be more of an older brother, but honestly that doesn’t really negate the impact of grooming that kid would have with Jacob around. The idea that Zim would somehow be grooming Dib seems really silly to me although you’re right, I think his characterization in Into the Florpus has evolved somewhat especially with regard to Dib wanting to get his father’s approval, but again Zim has parallels with that in trying to please the Tallest. the world-building and characterizations are inconsistent and scattershot at best. Like no, zim isn’t waiting for him to turn legal, that’s absurd, they’re nemeses coming at each other then learning to be friends. You’re right that that doesn’t have to be zadr but I still tag it as zadr so people can block it if they want to.

Like, I’ve seen people ship Zim with Professor Membrane instead of Dib. That seems very weird to me. that professor membrane would have a relationship with someone who literally goes to his son’s elementary school and who doesn’t know anything at all about human behavior and emotions.

I feel like with this discussion people don’t really understand the problem with age gaps. With age gaps, it’s not a matter of mature/immature, it’s about development. A ten year age gap sounds like a lot right? a 25-year-old and a 15-year old would absolutely have a predatory “relationship.” But a 35- and a 45-year old, that’s perfectly fine. Having a difference in age doesn’t automatically make the relationship unhealthy. so if Dib is 25 and Zim is [whatever the hell aliens years i still don’t really take Jhonen’s word for it bc he’s not consistent], that’s doesn’t mean it has to be bad. The thing about telling minors they’re “so mature for their age” to try and convince them that a person interested in them isn’t a pedophile is that we know a human being who is 15 isn’t developmentally at the same level as a 25-year-old regardless of their behavior. What is Zim? All we have to go on is how he acts, and he acts like Dib is an equal match, it’s not “he’s immature for his age,” it’s very unclear. Raw number of years isn’t the ultimate decider, for example in DnD lore elves reach maturity at, like, 100 years old so a 25-yo human trying to get with a 50-year-old elf would be predatory to the young elf even though the “younger” one is technically twice as old as the human. Do you see what I’m saying?

I also don’t really buy the idea that Invader Zim’s writing resonates with people because Zim is ~~so human~~. The guy steals a bunch of kid’s organs in one episode and flies into a tantrum over the slightest inconvenience. You have to be reading really deeply into it and dig into some old internet archives of things Jhonen Vasquez has said to paint it as realistic. You can do some interesting things with it wrt like, Zim being defective and starting to experience human emotions but that’s mostly fanon.

Well, you’ve given me some things to think about, thanks for explaining your side to me. I’m still going to tag things as #zadr so people can block if it can’t plausibly be categorized as zadf. I’m not actually making any fan content for Invader Zim so the point is kind of moot, but if I ever do I’ll definitely take this into consideration.

#invader zim #zadr #submission

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piinkaliice · 6 years ago

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Roger Taylor x Reader

~Just Neighbours?~

(Can be Ben!Roger if you wish, also This is 70s Roger and queen isn’t that big at this time.)

Prompt: Roger is your neighbour. And after making lots of noise outside his door he couldn’t help but finally come out to meet you. I imagined the flat area to be just his and your door opposite each other like in the tv show friends.

Recommend Listening to the song intertwined by Dodie Clark while reading!

While walking unstably through the familiar streets of London, you rummage through your purse to find the keys to your apartment. Though winter was slowing coming to an end, this particular night was extremely cold. You couldn’t tell this on your skin but rather by the white clouds which escaped your mouth with every exhale. Possibly due to the amount of alcohol you had consumed tonight.

Once you find the key, you take a quick look at where you have carried yourself, and realise you had walked passed your apartment buildings.

“For fuck sakes!” You yell out loud unintentionally. As you turn around and walk back to your building.

Your flat is a small one, you manage to pay for it with the money you earn at the local bar that you have been working at ever since being kicked out of the family home. One of the perks of which is when you get to close up, you had the bar all to yourself. Precisely why you are in your current state.

You finally stumble into your flat. The stench of cigarettes lingers in the air. You start to walk up the stair while holding onto the railing, the dizziness worsening with each step. You curse yourself for living on the third floor as your pace becomes slower and slower. It feels like an eternity until you make it to the last few steps before it’s your stop. As you approach the very last step, you feel the heel of you shoe snap off. Causing you to fall forward.

A loud thump echoes through the building as you land on our hands and knees onto the cold hard floor. “Fuck,” You murmur as you sit down on the last step, taking off the painfully high heels you are forced to wear to work.

As you stand up you hear an opening of a door behind you, followed by a deep voice.

“Everything alright?” Says the man, you can tell that the noise has woken him up by the raspiness in his voice.

“Yes, yes, I’m fine.” You say quickly while getting up.

As you walk towards your apartment door you catch a glimpse of the man in question.

He is a tall, handsome bloke with long blond hair and striking blue eyes. He was wearing a black vest top and boxers which confirmed that that you had in fact woken him up.

He leaned on his doorframe and watches as you frantically tryed to get into your apartment.

“Hey are you sure you’re okay, you made quite a lot of noise out here.” He said with a slight chuckle.

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” you say while looking at him over your shoulder.

“I’m just having one of those days, you know?” You said, slurring your words.

He walks out of his doorway and walks up to you. Noticing that you are clearly inebriated.

“Let me give you a hand with that.” He says.

You don’t quite know why, but you instantly hand him your key. As he opens the door, you look down at your palms and notice that they are covered in scrapes.

“Ah shit-“ you say, which caught his attention.

“What’s wrong?” He says as he turns to you and sees your injured hands.

“It’s nothing, really.” You say as you quickly make your way to your apparently.

“Are you sure you don’t need-“ before he gets to finish you close the door behind you and hurry to the bathroom.

You turn the tap on and gently rinse the blood that has come through the scrapes off your hands. The sting travels through your body. Before you begin to dry your hands, you hear a knock at the door.

You open it to see the man holding your shoes in one hand, and a bottle of antiseptic in the other.

“I thought you might need these.” He said as he handed them to you with a cheeky smile.

You couldn’t help but let out a small laugh at the gesture. You watches as he ran his fingers through his gold locks.

“Just being a gentleman.” He said, as he made his way back to his apparent. The grin still plastered on his face as he walked away from you.

“Thank you-“ you said, as you began to close your door.

“It’s Roger.” He filled in. With his back turned to you.

“Though I dont expect you’ll remember that in the morning.” He looked at you one last time as he closed the door.

After tending to your hands, you got straight into your bed and fell asleep instantly. The image of Roger imprinted in your mind, still in disbelief of how kind he was to you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You woke up the next morning with a pounding headache, trying to recollect last nights events.

As you drank some water along with an aspirin you noticed the painful scrapes on your palms. That is when it all came back to you.

Drinks at the bar after work, walk home, fall on the stairs, and the kind neighbour. What was his name again?

You roll your eyes at yourself when you notice the broken shoe laying next to your bed.

The rest of the morning goes as normal, you take a shower, get dressed and eat some breakfast. That’s until you notice the bottle of antiseptic sitting in your bathroom. You don’t remember buying it for yourself, which must mean that your neighbour had given it to you. It would only be polite to go and return it, right?

You knock on his door, and it doesn’t take long before you’re greeted with a less rough looking version of your neighbour. His hair was wet but he was dressed.

“Hey, well, good morning.” You begin.

“I just wanted to return this and say thank you. I hope I don’t cause you too much hassle last night.” You say, clearly embarrassed by the whole ordeal.

“It’s no problem.” He says, taking the bottle from you. Giving you a smile in the process.

“How are your shoes?” He mocked you.

“Pretty useless now.” You say with a laugh.

“I recommend going barefoot next time, would probably be safer.” you both laughed.

“Well it was nice finally meeting you, Y/N.” He said, to which you gave him a shocked look.

How did he know your name?

“You were wearing a name tag last night that said Y/N, so I just assumed.” He explained. Watching as your face turned from slight shock to relief.

“Makes sense,” you say, smiling nervously.

“Remember mine?” He laughed.

You try to remember, but it had escaped your minds.

“Rob?” You give your best guess.

“You really think I look like a Rob?” He exclaimed playfully.

“Alright you got me, I can’t remember.” You said, defeated.

“It’s Roger.” He said with a smirk that is a familiar sight already.

“Well it’s nice to meet you, Roger.”

“You too, love.” He waves you off as you walk back to your apartment.

In the days that followed, you couldn’t get the image of Roger out of your head.

Feedback would be greatly appreciated!

Also should I write a chapter from his point of view ?

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dont-follow-me-im-scared · 5 years ago

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My worst goodbye

Per my therapist request im "journaling" breakup I guess. I mean its been a long time coming but this time it was real and needed to this might be long but here goes:

The force,

I dont even know where to start so I'll start from the begining. The night I met you, when I walked into that bar I had no intention of meeting my soul mate. Yes soul mate. I never believed in them until I met you. But after 9 long years ive learned sometimes we meet our soul mate and we dont get to keep them. I had quite a bit to drink, see you didnt know this but I was 19 I just looked old enough to be there and I had gotten divorced a few months before my world would be forever rocked and changed. The night carried on the christmas air was no match for the drink and the long sleeve I had on. I removed layers the more I drank and I stayed close to the bar. This tall man with the bluest eyes id ever seen was taking care of my drink needs but young me saw a mountain I wanted to climb. I was informed you were married when the regulars realized my attention wasnt going anywhere but you. I flashed the bar (dumb kid is probably what you thought) but everyone in there knew it was for you. Hell I said I wouldnt do it unless you were there. The night carried on, my friends were restless trying to protect whatever modesty they felt I had that night. I wanted to go to the after party I was told youd be attending. They refused and wanted to get me home. Closing time was coming. I wrote my number on a napkin and waited. You went back towards the bathrooms and I knew somehow in my awe struck drunken stuper that was my chance. I walked back caught you right at the end of the hall. Do you remember what I said? I can. The words and moment is forever burned into my brain. "I can keep a secret". Slipped my number into your front pocket smooth as fuck. Which isnt me. But you know that right? Because after that night you saw sides of me no one was ever allowed to see. You saw me grow as a person and into a woman. That was the begining of the end. That singular moment with rumple on my breathe as I stood on my tip toes to lean as close to your ear as I could when I spoke those words. I took in how you smelled. I had no idea soon that smell would be my favorite and put my spirit at ease.

I woke up the next morning with a text from an unknown number. Then the conversation started. You filled in the parts of the night that wasnt clear. You made me nervous. A sensation that would never die down. Tuesday. She'll be at work. Dinner and hang out at the house? Sure. I bet you thought you were getting lucky that night. Not as lucky as I was going to be I guess. Because see even though this is a goodbye, and one thats tearing me apart I was so lucky to feel this. Not everyone gets to experience this with anyone in their entire life. You had a young child. Maybe 3 months I think. Timing in the universe is shitty like that. We sat on the couch. Me almost shaking with nerves but trying to keep my calm because I refused to look a fool in front of you. Do you remember what we watched? Big bang theory. And from then on anytime I saw an episode (I never watched it myself) my thoughts would gravitate back to that couch with you. Do you know how hard thats going to be on me now because that shows everywhere. I guess thats not your problem though. We didnt have sex. I was too nervous and I mean I felt like I was going to puke you made me so nervous. But there was a warmth. This tiny spark of a fire that was felt by me at least. We made out alot. But everytime you reached for my belt my gut screamed "No! Not yet" and ive never been one to ignore my gut. I left. I parked my car a few houses down. The late December air felt so cold against my face because my cheeks were burning like id be in the gym. This couldnt be real. I texted you when I got to the end of the street. "Im sorry I couldn't have sex with you I was so nervous if you dont want to meet up again i get it." I expected you to blow me off. I mean you are older and a bartender. I knew in my head what you were use to with women. I had only been with two people my whole life but you. You reeked experience. Then my phone did something that felt magical in the moment. It lit up with that text. That text reassuring me you wanted to see me again. The text that made me float the whole way home.

The visits became more frequent. Sex with you was amazing. You engulfed my body in what seemed like worship. Not one inch of me ignored. Hands and mouth just exploring the new territory. I was more adventurous. I wanted to make you happy in every way possible. Theres a need inside me to make sure youre happy. There's this new feeling like in a woman and not just some highschooler whos date is trying to get lucky. Theres a chemistry unmatched and indescribable in all honesty. It happened on the couch. The 2nd time I saw you. You carried my straddling body to your room all that was on was my unbutton jeans and your jeans. Your arms lifted me with such ease I gasped. I remember. See how much I remember. Your bedroom smelt like soap and the sheets smelled clean. The only light in the room was the green from the clock by your bed. Then before I knew it your mouth was where no other mans had been. You gave me a new experience I had been deprived of before. Then you were inside of me when I felt like my body was going to stop. Laying there after wards, your hands playing with my spine while we had small conversations in between sighs I considered if this could be forever. I knew right then you were different. I knew we were different. I knew there was something in my way but never desired to remove it. Your kiss at the front door when I was leaving had a longing. Like you didnt want to send me away. It was dark. The neighbors didnt know but as bright as I felt like I was shinning I wondered if they were peering out of the windows to see the source. Was any of this real for you? I dont think I want the answer because it was so real for me. This all sounds crazy. You're married and I knew but here I was.

It got to where id barley make it through your unlocked door without you scoping me up like youd waited all week to get your hands on me. The text in between visits didnt seem like enough any more. So I started doing what any logical in love person would do. I started getting hotel rooms and going to the bar on the weekends. I had to see you more. Hear your voice. See you smile at me from across that bar knowing I was picturing having you under me on every surface there. It made it fun right? Like we had a huge secret right in front of everyone. Including your sister in law who bartended with you some nights. It was a rush right? Knowing I was going to be in that weed infused hotel room half drunk mostly stoned in the see through black robe you love(d) so much. Knowing there was nothing between me and you but this thin fabric. Do you think people could see it on our faces? Your friends became mine because I was at the bar so often but none of them knew. Our conversations grew and we became friends who just happen to explode with this chemistry. It was more than what it had been but that was the most itd ever be. Remember the Halloween you dressed at a 20s gangster. Remeber the red dress i rushed into the bar in on new years eve so I could kiss you by midnight. Do you remember taking me in your arms around my waist and kissing me in front of everyone? I'll never forget because that was a moment where I thought this is how it could be. I met you for lunches. I met you at quicktrips for a five minute visit. Boyfriends came and went but you never left. I kept you around. Remember the apartments down the street I moved into so I could be closer. You whistling while I was waiting at my open front door. That smile. You nuzzling me after on the balcony while i smoked. I hated you had to leave me every time. You lingered in my door hesitant to walk away. The good thing about me living so close is you got to spend more time with me.

I stated you were my soul mate. I mean it. I have forever missed my chance with the one person I truly believe was made for me. All because a year of timing. You told me so many times had it not been for your baby youd leave. I believed you. I love my husband and my daughter but no one will ever light the fire you did inside me and still do. Which is why I need to walk away. Youre a source of confusion in my life. I cant allow myself to question if my relationships right because I dont have the feeling I did with you. Does that make me bad? I dont think so. I love him and dont want to hurt him which is why I have to do this. Cutting an imprint with you is one of the hardest things ive had to do but hurting him would be harder. I'll never forget a million things about you. Memories with you. I honestly hope you'll never forget me. I wish I could tell my daughter about you one day and how she never needs to settle unless someone makes her feel like you made me feel.

Love always

Youre biggest fan.

#breakup #soul mates #sometimes it doesnt work

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thedappleddragon · 4 years ago

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haha here we go again

there's a lot of dumb ranting and 3 days worth of logs and a dream in here so im gonna spare evryone’s dashboard and just put it all under the cut.

tw bad memories, talk of unhealthy relations with food, and dreams about dead animals

I realized I kind of entirely forgot to write about what I did yesterday? I kind of did a lot. I know my mom wanted to work on getting tile laid out in front of her bathroom, so we worked together to scrub the concrete and wipe up all the dirt and dust and whatever was under the carpet and remove some of the nails in the floor and bring up a spiky metal strip between the bathroom door and where the carpet was. The other main thing I remember is deciding to continue work on my dress, sewing up the outer bodice, checking that the bodice and lining would fit together, deciding I’d rather have no different colored front panel, and working on the circle skirt. At first I tried cutting the fabric on my bed, but it wasn’t big enough and too lumpy. I contemplated asking my friends if I could borrow their dining table, but I ended up clearing off my own. After I traced and was in the middle of pinning, I accidentally knocked over a glass bowl that I had set on the chair. My mom heard it from the other room and had me come to her room to tell her what it was. She got angry at me, which I thought was fuckin stupid if it was an accident, but after some reflection while cleaning up the glass pieces, I kind of understood why. Mostly I got a little upset about 2 ceramic pieces I made during school breaking a little from the drop. One was a mushroom house from middle school that always makes me remember feeling like an asshole during peer review when I told my person to smooth their project more because I didn’t know “no improvement needed” was an option until I got back to my desk and saw my person saying it was good in all categories because everyone thought my project was great for some reason. The other was a bunch of flowers on a circle. It was the last project we did before quarantine hit, I think. That one is in less tough shape, just a couple flowers knocked off and a chip on one of them. They can both be glued back together, I guess. Then my mom called me back into her room to listen to her talk about wanting to eat huge amounts of food, because she’s clinically depressed with BPD and PTSD and DID and several other acronyms and her favorite coping mechanism is food, but her doctor put her on a diet so she can get her knees replaced, but recently she’s been getting into a zone where she talks about wanting to eat entire cakes and pizzas and buckets of kfc and a gallon of queso or whatever the fuck and she goes “doesn’t that sound GOOD?” And I have to laugh along and say “haha no that sounds bad actually” and get her a piece of ham or something. And every time she goes on her spiel the only thing I can think of is the greedy from the raggedy Ann and Andy musical. It’s just this horrible undulating orange blob that eats everything in sight and seeing it for the first time just made me think of mom and it made me very uncomfortable, with all the orange goo and hurling noises. Also reminds me of this horrible video game boss fight where it’s the apocalypse and a fat lady on a scooter took over the buffet and eats so much during her boss fight, during the defeat cutscene she projectile vomits everywhere and dies. My brother Greg showed me that thinking it was funny. I hated it, and I still do. He showed me a lot of things he thought were funny as a shitty little kid, and I remember several of them being very upsetting. It’s ok. I don’t want to dwell on it. But after cleaning the glass and talking to mom I brought my fabric to my room and called it a night. Oh wait my dad also helped me with some paperwork my coworker handed me so I could get on the payroll.

Today I woke up differently than I have in a long time. I set an alarm for 10 am so I could be at work by 11, but I woke up at 9 from a heavy sleep with dreams about hanging out with my friend in my room, worrying about my dirty house. I wanted to sleep longer, so I got up at 10 to have breakfast and get ready. I spent my shift changing the price tags all around the store, making everything more expensive. I’m gonna work again on Tuesday where I’ll learn how to use the register. I hope I don’t fuk it up, but I have a couple days to relax until then. Maybe I’ll work on my dress. My friends all want to go to prom together, so my new deadline will be March 2nd or a little before. I still need to buy a ticket, but I don’t have access to the link to buy one :( bleh I’m too tired right now to worry about this shit. I only worked 4 hours again today, but after I got home I felt like I could have worked longer if they gave me something else to do. The only price tags left to change were a bunch of grills and stuff I don’t know about but I don’t know if they had any other work for my to do. But I’m glad I went home tho because I was hungry and my feet hurt from standing lol. I did laundry and made myself dinner and washed my hair and drew a little bit and made the table and tbh the pacing of today has been so weird I don’t remember everything. It’s only 1am but I think I’m just gonna go to bed. my friends started talking about going to prom, and I really want to join them, but I can't figure out where/how to buy a ticket. my brain started being really mean to me, syaing that I was being annoying and pushy and that they didnt want me at prom for some reason, so I low-key almost made myself cry until my friend offered to let me be their platonic date since their partner couldn't go.

last night I had a dream about a hard video game where when you played it, the black shadow enemies would fight you in real life, and one of them left imprints on my arm in the shape of lego bricks. they could only attack you so long as you played the game, and they tried to capture people and you were supposed to save them. I decided it was my time to play, and I walked into my garage that had turned into a cave with bat-people fused into the wall. I paid them no mind as I rescued a girl who was my irl brother, grabbing her hand and pulling her into another versoin of my garage which was uncorrupted and normal looking. she thanked me, and I said it was no problem. then I tricked her, telling her not to trust so easily, as I became one of the shadow enemies and engulfed her in a black sack, trapping her and leaving the room. I came back a couple minutes later, letting him free (now my brain told me he was my brother) telling him I just wanted to know if I was capable of tricking him, and didnt actually want to kill him or whatever. another big chunk of my dream was taken up by me, my sister, and my dad visiting a run down petting zoo/gamestop. the petting zoo barn was very dark with low ceilings with lots of rabbits and pigs and hay. one of us accidentally killed either a pig or a tiger right next to the exit door, and I had to slink around the gamester trying to distract the owner and keep him from going in the barn and escaping at the same time. I dont remember how it ended, other than me waking up with a sore throat from breathing so deeply through my nose. I had slept on my stomach wit my pillow in my face so I could hardly breathe, and even after I woke up I felt like I wasnt getting enough air. I HATE that feeling, I always felt like I was suffocating in middle school for some reason. I thinkk somethings wrong with my airway but im not gonna do anything about it. im gonna continue to spend 80% of my day laying down so my resting heart rate and breathing speed is slower than an goddamn sloth. whatever.

right now as im laying in bed typing this I feel utterly unpoductive but I KNOW I did SOME shit today. but yeah mostly I relaxed. I worked on my dress, removing and replacing the blue front panel. I lost my exacto knife somewhere so I went to dollar tree to get a knockoff, along with snacks for mom and my sister. the blades aren't as sharp as exacto, but I still know where the name brands blades are so maybe Ill try and see if they're compatible. when I open the package everything was oily and gross, so I washed everything off with soap and water before I used them to cut the threads of the panel seams. I could have used my seam ripper but I wanted to get a replacement craft knife anyway. its kinda neat that it came with 6 different shaped blades for different crafts :) but uhh I also cut out the other half of the circle skirt of the dress, and I have a bunch of extra fabric left over. probably enough to make a whole other bodess if I wanted too. I used my sewing machine to attach the new front panel, and I was hoping to get more sewing done tonight, but when I asked my sister if it was ok for me to use my sewing machine (it right next to the wall between our rooms so she can hear it from there) she said she was going to bed soon so I just attatched the front panel and called it a night. so that kinda sucked. I still have another day tomorrow before I have to work again, and I can still work on my dress on Tuesday after work. idk why my brain thinks that one 4 hour shift is gonna take up my entire day lmao. I just have to get the whole thing done by may 2nd. GOD that reminds me, im gonna be so busy next month. I have six events back to back happening like every other day, plus work. oof. I'll have to let my boss know, but idk If that's gonna make him mad. I've already got pretty comfortable with the lady in charge of the garden center who’s taken lead position while the manager is on vacation, but I dont think I;ll every understand my boss. he’s a sarcastic busy old man and NOT AT ALL approachable. whatever. really the only other tings I did today were drink a shit ton of water play harvest moon, spend too much time on tiktok, and sraw a couple dum things for my friends’ princess au. I fucking HATE the drawing I did for Anna, so I designed her a secondary outfit more inspired by sky pirate bohemian vibes, since she rules over the floating islands. idk if I'll replace her old outfit with the new one in the lineup or just re-draw her old one with better shapes and composition and match the style better or what. I just need it changed eventually becasuse it looks like ass. tbh now that ve taken a little bit of time away from the princess au, there are a couple designs im not 100% satisfied with. but I know that if I go back and make them more detailed or whatever the’ll be more of a hassle to draw and aslkdfhalksdf I dont know anymore. I'm still tied up about color pallets and trying to give everyone a distinct color, and im a little upset it doesn't quite work, and FUCK dude the edgy one’s lore and character are weird and I kind of want to revise it to make it a little nicer but its not my character and I need to stop shoving my dirty little mitts into everyone’s ocs and AHAGHRGHGARGHHG idk man. her power is necromancy and she has a skeleton army, which I think I kinda cool, but I also think it would be neat if her powers extended beyond just that to communing with the dead, helping them find rest, and THEN maybe it can branch into helping fallen soldiers fight again to help them with unfinished buisness. and then if she goes feral and starts abusing her powers, she ignores all the communication and concent with the dead and instead magically rips them from thr ground to do her bidding and they’re uncontrollable and violent and aimless, just like her mind slipping from the magical blight infecting her. idk man we’re till working on a lot of lore. her concept could be SO COOL with just that little bit of extra thought, but so far it’s just MY POWER IS DEATH IM SO EDGY. ugh I know its fuckin rude to bash your friends oc ideas and I might be too overbearing and controlling of this au but dammit im tired and im mean sometimes and my ego is through the goddamn roof and im so sexy and im always right and my meat is huge. ah shit I rpomised my friend I would help her with character design for the dead king but I was busy when she firat asked me and now im not busy but im not doing it ugh. im just frustrated right now because I spent wayyyy to fuckin long just laying in bed watching tikotks and youtube and playing harvest moon an doing jack shit all day. but hey at least I attempted to get a new social security card again today. and them promptly gave up when they said my adress was invalid. again. I feel like im in an uncomfortable medium between having no plans and worrying about the future and having too many plans all the time oh my god. ive been so focused on getting a job and then having a job and making this dress I completely forgot about college shit. thankfully there's no hard deadlines coming up that I haven't already finished. whatever I dont really want to worry about all this hit right now, im just gonna take it one day at a time. (haha it feels like my angel oc just stepped in. how nice of him :) )

#thanks for coming to my ted talk #April 2021 daily #2021 daily

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shoeshoesho · 7 years ago

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april 23, 2017

Yesterday i broke a little. i was looking out of his window so frustrated. And for what? i have no idea. The night before I did the same thing. I was so upset, so “fed up” with going out with him and doing all these fun things. For what? I asked. i have no idea why i am so upset right now. It is a deep frustration that i cant put my finger on. I broke out angerly at him and he said, “ i have no idea where this is comming from” and i said “me neither.” He thinks i am just being emotional. And to be honest, i couldn’t believe that is all he thought it to be. I was almost angry he was naive enough to believe it to be so simple. To believe that i was so simple..so easily curved by emotions, like some little child. I thought maybe he knew it was not so simple but chose to believe so to spare his own feelings. To blockade himself from the issue and to repeat. “everything is alright.” I believe him to be more intelligent than most and to be guarded rather than stupid. Whatever it is i believe.. He simply said i would not have to deal with this again cause we would move in a month. That also pissed me off. Dont you see that this is more intrinsic in the machine than you believe it to be?This will only continue to occur if i dont understand the feeling. Why do i feel this way?

Am i sick of being with him? Am i sick of his friends? ( i think so). Am i sick of being in the lovely santa cruz on a sunny hot day? Is it from being too happy all too quick? I know i enjoy pain, and pleasure is only as good as the pain you feel. And i agree that it is a trade that occurs every day. Am i eating all these sweets at once? Is that why i am so “fed up.” I am very confused indeed.

Maybe because i was catapulted into his life and it was as if i lost a sense of identity. But at the same time, i cannot bare a weekend without him. Is my life so dull and drab, his color paints all my beige walls bright? My life was/is a simple one. Simply alone. I often begged for someone to come here and share it with me, but my style was always a lonely one. As i have said in previous notes- alone but never feeling alone. Looking back now, i have dropped off 75% of the few friends i had after this relationship. But if i had the choice, its weird, i would not say i would want to text them frivolously right now and decide to take a week hiatus from our relationship. I still want him and i still need him. Even the slightest thought of being without him in my life makes me cry a little. He is always who i want to love and be with. But i am suffocating in a life that i want. I dont know how to make this life more me. He welcomes me to do so but i cant seem to figure out how to do it. Maybe it is from the shortcommings of being a partner? Maybe i am not used to such closeness. I tend to cave because i generally care too much about how hes going to feel. Just making up all this shit about how hes going to feel abou tit.

I originally got upset becasue i didnt want to eat at his friends house. Why? Because honestly, i am not entirely comfortable at his fieinds place, and around his friends sitll. I am introverted and i would like to just not socialize forever. Maybe i am sick of socializing. And socializing with people that arent even my friends. I always give a modest day or few hrs to my freinds in the past (friday night to saturday) and that pretty much emptys my tank. In my head were talking about shit that honestly i know NOTHING about, CONSTANTLY. so therefore.. at the moment, i have NO INTEREST. constantly worried about WHAT to talk about. Constantly worried about making good impressions. You know i have no problem being myself.. but this IS myself. I dont crank it open in one go, i dont shoot the shit very well and you wont know me until you really know me. Its going to take more than 30 tires and its not easy. I can fake it for about 45 min and then Im going to start making an escape route. So why punish myself for being me? I guess i am not. I am not apologetic to him or his friends. I was previously but at this point.. i will not apologize, but i will be sorry for having to be absent from all the things he wants me to be a part of. And i will continue throughout our relationship to be sorry. I will be sorry for skipping out on those things, cause honstly babe, i dont wanna go. Your going to light up that room and im going to disappear. Im going to disappear into the wallpaper and the touching shoulders. Im going to disappear into the bathroom or out back. Im going to be absent more often than you think. he is my only connection in this world. He is the only outlet, and the only one that knows my true color. No one here knows my true color. No one here knows what im about or who i am. And when you take one hour or two away from me, I am disappering into the walls. Making smiles and laughs that are find after a drink or four. But when you add them up, i am drowning in it. I am drowning in a life i want. I am drowning from constantly feeling inadequate or like an accessory to your life. I am drowning from not feeling and knowing the worth that i am in this world. To feel my imprint on this world. I can mirror this image to exactly what it feels to stand on top of a mountain alone.

To be strong, on your own- and i have never felt prouder of myself in any situation. To feel capable and independent. To feel like a force of nature. To feel your existance in this world to be insignificant because you are reminded that indeed, this world is incredible and unforgiving.

That is what is me at my best.

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autisticstarseed · 7 years ago

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lol heres my Way too serious and thought out timeline+headcanons for doyle bc i figure if i can make these kinds of things for my ocs that are only like 2 days old imagine what kind of post i can make for a guy ive thought about every day of my life since i was 9;;;;;;;;;

so first off, a lot of these are projections from Some kind of personal thing unless otherwise specified so not only do you Not have to agree with them but some of them are gonna be oddly specific and may even seem kind of unfitting/ooc or w/e and its just bc maladaptive daydreaming is fuckt up but also the show only has 36 episodes and hes not even in all of them so i dont have a Ton to analyze :’) anywyas here u go;

TIMELINE:

after the accident in the himalayas he went to an orphanage but did end up having 2 official foster homes. there were a few people at the orphanage he got attached to (the carertakers, and eric), but was overall yearning for a real family

home 1 was thrown together quick fix (when he was about 6-8) and it wassssss okay but his parents were drug addicts and money was spent in the wrong places, leading to a big struggle with food, rent, etc. and they lived in an area that was kind of overall impoverished so streets were dangerous and the water wasnt very clean (leading to the comments about not trusting tap water in where lies the engulfer), but since it was his first ‘family’ it left a big imprint on him and when he was finally taken away bc of the financial neglect it really fucked him up and made him kind of resentful towards the foster system, he felt they were doing their best and wanted it to work and was too young to understand why it happened. it took him a while to even attempt to trust adults after that

he spent a few years back at the orphanage, with a lot of behavioral problems stirring up causing the relationships he had with his carers to be strained

the second home (from 13-16) was much worse with emotional+physical violence and gaslighting, he had a foster sister (mika) but she was kind of emotionally distant and had an “every man for himself” viewpoint on the situation. they did grow closer over the years and eventually decided to run away together

mika went off to do her own thing within months (which doyle Did Not Expe ct) so he drifted around for a while and made a lot of (bad) friends

tried to like get a normal job and live in an apartment and shit but the financial struggle and mental illness(TM) kept getting to him

got into criminal shit when he was 19 [danny phantom voice] yo doyle blackwell he was just 19 and started working for van rook when he was 25 (my hc age for him at the beginning of the series bc God what are timelines)

now that all the angsty backstory is out of the way heres the modern hc shit;

pan as fuck and not ashamed of it like in the words of game grumps; Whos dick do i gotta suck to suck a dick around here

has bipolar I and bpd

his moods usually present as going from doing whatever and not caring what anyone thinks (manic) to feeling very burdening and wanting to distance himself (depressive)

as seen when all the abbey shit goes down, he likes to bottle emotions and hide from problems. he will occasionally open up to drew but like. only in the form of a human nihilism meme aka he has to joke about it first

sometime after abbey and before the finale he meets eric again. doyles still pretty raw so he catches up with him and kinda reaches out and. eventually they start dating post finale when all the kur shit is done with

he also sees mika around again bc she takes on informant work involving cryptids and its. very awkward bc nobody is ready to talk it out. she may (MAY) offer a helping hand during the kur stuff but would still try to keep a lot of distance

anyways he rly likes to hang out with drew and eric (he can tolerate if docs there too but he thinks hes a buzzkill lol) late at night when zak+the cryptids are asleep, especially if theres alcohol or even some 🍁 weed 🍁 involved, it usually stays chill family fun but if its just doyle and drew it can quickly turn into a 2 person party bc of their combined impulsiveness lmao

hes got a light dusting of freckles on his cheeks and like 1 around his mouth/lip too (example; x) and self harm scars on his arms and legs

he is a heavy sleeper and its his 1 weakness. if u wanna get him get him while hes asleep lmao

his sense of humor is very reminiscent of christine sydelko or david dobrik like. a boring friday night? someones getting their chest waxed or holding a tarantula or getting taped to a wall like theres no limit on fun(TM) its 100% extra at all times

he listens to avril lavigne this is the most realistic one i ddotn give a SHIt

:^) thats it for now i might add more or make a part 2 bc again, i think of new stuff literally every day, but this is the most important stuff i have for now ty for reading im gay

#long post //#tw abuse/ //#tw self harm// /#tw drugs// /#the secret saturdays #tss #original #so man y... warnings...#thats how u kno its angsty #anyways this is so embarassingly self indulgent but like 5 people are gonna see it so i might as well just throw it all the way out #as hilary duff once said #why not (why not) take a crazy chance

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expfcultragreen · 5 years ago

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[What got me started earlier was, i was thinking about the problem of people ive known who had some sort of sex related blockage that they found disruptive of their ability to get what they wanted out of sex {optimize the outcome of dealing with sexual urges}. Its been my experience that just "trying to have such good sex with them that whatever it is just poof, goes away" is rarely going to be sufficiently rewarding--because of the nature of the issue--to get anywhere or, overcome any setbacks like vigilance for evidence that the anxiety-causing pattern is remanifesting. So the solution field ive focused on instead is immaterially mechanical; what are the building blocks of why "something bad will happen if you orgasm (all your prior relationships ended and you always got so turned on you'd o in some way that was objectionable to previous partners so it seems related--too fast, too wet, too loud, too verbally abusive etc. Or, you split up your parents marriage as a linear result of xyz involving sex. Or, you cant stop thinking about bad sex things you did and if you ever o it means you did stop feeling guilty which means youre not better than you were when you did the bad things so you CANT cum)" or "only sex with someone you dont feel fully seen by/equal to feels safe enough to get off (because of the desire to feel at an advantage, where its safe enough to cum; people with self esteem issues see this as 'leveling the playing field' as opposed to advantaging themselves...this is why some people neg to flirt, and the ones who can convince their partners of their inner logic on the issue continue to neg them, which, longterm forecast: rough weather)" or "only sex youre having with someone you wont see again gets you off even though you want to have a partner (but youre scared people dont find your personality longterm tolerable)" or "only sex with someone who is mean to you gets you off (because thats how you were taught people show love. This is why people fuck people who neg them, which, longterm forecast: rough weather)" or "only sex youre having with no expectation of emotional caregiving gets you off (but you want to have a partner and people really expect that a lot; but that expectation indicates a manifest deficit that will claw at you both and thats not hot)". The answers to questions like that are usually really paint by numbers stuff no one wants to talk about; formative childhood and preteen experiences with negative repercussions for experimenting, often come up. How many straight people fooled around with homosocial friends/groups only to get burned early by some kind of ordinary circledrama issue suddenly stakes-maxed by the threat of maybe being outted while youre still narrativizing yourself as "someone who lives a conventionally hetero life and will always, and is just doing some experimenting in the moment, because its right here and it seems to be what is wanted/accepted in the present social microenvironment" and you werent really into having to consider living your life with everyone knowing youre one of "them", let alone worry that youre being outted to divert attention onto you, worse even, maybe by pervjacketing you ("gay jezebel made me do it im as hetero as that incubus-succubus isnt" [shouts to those christians girls; the projected self hatred mixed with the boundless imaginations of kids raised on stories of torture and humiliation, plus the zeal of missionaryism, ooooooo lordt, neg me mommy, neg me]). And like even hetero shit was a minefield of traumatic cause and effect scenarios, right? Remember how policed and otherwise fraught with forms of conditioning your childhood interactions with sex were? And how loomingly present the subject is in society without being made fully visible, so you got a unique roulette experience of little pinhole views of different scenes to imprint on, which loom as large in their singularity on your psychic landscape, somewhere spread out like topiaries, as the fixture of puritanical unspokenness about it all]

[You could say its not my business but actually it drives me bonkers when i cant get someone off, so i dont forget]

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deafeningcreationperson-blog · 7 years ago

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Rear ended someone in a rental vehicle, will my premiums rise?

"Rear ended someone in a rental vehicle, will my premiums rise?

I was in a rental vehicle when I tapped the car in front of me. I drove a '11 Toyota Corolla and he an old Chevy Monte Carlo. I came to a complete stop before absentmindedly loosening my foot on the brake, thus I tapped him at perhaps 2-3mph, and left a light imprint of the license plate on his red bumper. I offered to negotiate a cash payment on the spot, I was thinking of a couple hundred, but he insisted costs to be over 1,500. I did pay for damage insurance on the rental, but not liability. I'm insured with Safeco in Southern California, will this affect my rates at all? I talked to a body shop and showed them pictures of the imprint, and they figured that repairs would be around 150-300, depending. I heard that premiums won't necessarily rise unless damages are over 750? Is that true, and if so what are some tips to keep them from rising at this point? (this would be the first accident where I am held liable)

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i bought a car and my old insurance wouldnt let me add because i dont live with my parents anymore. now i live with my husband's family and they added my car and me to their insurance. now i have two insurance. one with no car and the other with the car.

How much would insurance cost for a mini moto?

Driving without car insurance.?

Im 17, I have had my license for 2 months and my uncle gave me his car and i was wondering if i could drive it because he is still paying for the insurance on it, but I dont have any insurance of my own.""

How much did your car insurance go up after a speeding ticket?

I got a ticket a few months ago, and I got one today. Both were oddly enough 21 mph over the limit. I have not noticed a rate increase yet, and I was wondering what others have gone through.""

Do i have to keep paying insurance on a scrapped car? My insurance runs out in August.?

I am planning to scrap my car next week but my insurance runs out in August. Am I legally expected to continue paying for it or can i cancel it?

Bankrupcy increasing auto insurance premiums???

Someone told me if a person files bankrupcy, their auto insurance premiums increase. Is this true and how do insurance companies justify the rate increase?""

Rear ended someone in a rental vehicle, will my premiums rise?

What company offers the cheapest motorcycle insurance in Toronto?

I Want to buy a motorcycle around $ 5000 and wondering how much would be the insurance for the following motorcycles 2006-2009 Honda CBR RR 600 2006-2009 Honda CBR 125 How can I be able to get discount on my premium. I have a full M licence with no accidents for like 2 years. I live on Dufferin st close to bloor and I am 25 years old male Serious replies only please because having a car is too expensive for me.

Can I cancel my car insurance at any time?

I've been with Zurich car insurance for 1 year and 10months, insured on my mums car as named driver. The time has come to get myself a car on my own insurance. We pay the current insurance monthly. There are two months left on the current policy, is there normally any cancellation fee's? If so, ruffly how much should I be looking at? Also.. Would I have any NCB as I was named driver on the policy? Thanks.""

Is a saturn sky a sports car?

im a 17 year old boy, looking for a car, heard the sky is a fun and really cool car. But since im 17 and have school and what not i dont have time to for a job to pay for the ...show more""

Finding Cheap Car Insurance?

I am 17 years old and wanting to find the cheapest car insurance, i want my own insurance policy on a 1.0L Vaxhall Cora, but the problem is it is going to be around 2500 does anybody know any cheaper sites?""

How much is car insurance for older muscle cars?

I heard that car insurance is pretty expensive for older muscle cars, and I'd like to know around how much a month car insurance would be for a 1968 ford mustang?""

What is an insurance premium?

Is the insurance premium what you pay monthly for your insurance?

How much does insurance(auto insurance) cost for a 56 year old with perfect records?

I was wondering how much insurance would cost for a 50+ year old, and which would be the best insurance, and also the cheapest. Thanks in advance.""

Health Insurance ????????????

I'm going to live in china for a year and would like to have insurance. I'm just living over there and wont have a job so i wont have health insurance. When i quit my job to move to china I wont have insurance so i need to get some for a whole year. Can someone point me in the right direction to get health insurance. Does anybody know what a basic health insurance plan for a year would cost. Any help would be appreciated. thanks

How much would all state car insurance cost per year for a 16 year old with a 2004 Pontiac GTO??? ?

Insurance and child support?

If my husband provides insurance through his work to his daughter and is also paying child support on her is he going to be responsible for the co-pay everytime she goes to the doctor? His daughter also has a secondary insurance through the state that her mom collects we were just wondering if the secondary insurance would pay or who would be responsible. The mother or him???

Need car insurance for a nissan navara? please help

hello, just wondering if anyone can give me some insurance companies for a nissan navara, im 22 have 3 years no claims yet my insurance says they cannot insure me on it? At the minute i drive a 1.9tdi vw passat and my insurance only costs 800, so why wont they insure me on 2005 nissan navara? Please help, thanks in advance x""

""Car insurance, Help!?""

I crashed my car into another car, both card sustained minimal damage, I just payed for my car to be fixed without consulting my insurance, is this illegal? And furthermore could I settle a money agreement with the guy I crashed into? is this all legal? Also if the guy decided to go through insurance would someone come inspect my car or inspect his... Basically what would the whole procedure be? I haven't contacted him yet""

What does your credit paying history got to do with paying higher/lower car insurance rates?

How long do I have once I cancel my auto insurance in Florida?

Okay so I just got a quote from Geico that is half of what I'm paying my current insurance company. My insurance payment is due the 23rd though. Now they told me that the whole process of signing up would take from a few days to 30. I wont be driving my car these holidays so would it be possible for me to cancel my coverage with the other company and sign up with Geico. If I cancel will my license get suspended? I just don't wanna have to send the tag back because it cost me 400 dollars to take out.

What do you pay for car insurance? per MONTH?

How old are you and what do you drive? How much would insurance for a brand new 16 y/o driver typically cost? just an estimate? thank you.

How can I find affordable health insurance for self employed?

For just me and him we pay $927 a month! He has no medical conditions. I take 3 medications for depression and anxiety, but its been a lifelong thing, and I require not psychiatrist or anything , like that, just the meds from my family doctor to keep my chemicals level. Can we get assistance, or is there special help for the self employed? I'm 35 and he is 40.""

Anyone know where to get esthetics liability insurance?

I am working as an independent contractor. Any suggestions for insurance companies?

Car Insurance problem?

Yesterday my dad was in a car crash but thankfully no injury. The victim who crashed into our car had escaped and dashed off bout 6miles. The point of this story? The victim had stolen a car from a rental place and had been driving really fast probably. Figuring that this guy has no money and insurance, can not pay for the damage of my car. (I had bought it about a year ago, and used car) It seems Like we would have to pay 1mill yen (Japan) for this whole crap. Obviously this does not seem right at all, and should not be paying anything at all! Our insurance covers the accidents we get into, but not the damage of our car. So that means, our insurance doesn't cover it, the victims or the company (toyota) might not be covering it either. This case is rare supposedly and we're still figuring it out. And their on a hunt for this guy so hopefully we'll see what he has. Can you hear me out on this one? Can you give me things that might question this case? thnx a lot""

Should I buy life insurance from Transamerica?

I have read that AEGON owns Transamerica Life insurance. There is a posting that both are potential scams. One warning was about health insurance. Is there a connection between the life insurance and the health insurance? The Transamerica building in San Francisco is shaped like a Pyramid. Wouldn't it be something if........

Need help with Car Insurance?

I am a 17 year old male in california, who just bought a 92 Buick Skylark and I need to no what would be my best bet when it comes to getting insurance, I would like cheap insurance, as cheap as I can get. I have shopped around and its not helping. PLEASE DONT SAY LOOK IT UP YOURSELF CAUSE I HAVE AND I AM ASKING FOR SOME HELP!!!""

Should I add to my insurance?

I have full coverage insurance on my car that my bank still owns. My brother occasionally drives it. He does have a license but he doesn't own a car. Should I add him to my insurance policy or will my full coverage cover him if he gets into an accident?

""My buddy is suing my insurance company, what could happen?""

Ok, So a little over a month ago i was involved in a car accident with a friends car. It was and 1 hr and 30 min drive. My friend said he was tired and drunk, telling me to drive( I was sober) so i did. I did tell him I didn't want to drive because his car was manual(which i can drive, but i've been driving auto for 4 years now. On the way home I fell asleep at the wheel and the car was totaled. None of us were injured, I was good he was good. We did the police report called our insurances. His paid him for his car. Two weeks later he's calling me to come-over to talk. I get bombarded by his family for 2hours basically saying they need money for this and that. The claim was already settled but he insisted i called my insurance company and see if they can give them money because they used the money they got from there insurance to pay off the car(worth about 5 grand) I talked it over with mom because im under her insurance and she said its sounds shady. She calls the insurance company and said dont give him a dime. Insurance is to make you whole again not better then you were. I explained to him numerous times and a week later my mom calls me at work and says gieco called and my friend is suing them. she also said he has a lawyer. He's suing for bodily injury! My told me not to stress it but it bothers me so much. He definitely doesn't deserve anything and especially being in perfect healthy condition. In the accident if you wanna get technical i took all the hits. I know him, my insurance company doesnt. its not right for him to be compensated for some injury that doesn't exist. Whats gonna happen? does he have a chance. the claim opened up is for $25,000 or more. this kid goes out clubbing and partying every weekend and this is how he lies? any input is appreciated. thanks again..""

16 year old male car insurance?

I am currently 15 and going to be 16 and getting my license . I am going to be driving a 1997 chevrolet corvette. Ik this is going to be exspensive but my parents are going to help alot. I was wondering about how much i would be paying?

My teenager (17) just got her permit. Would she be covered under my insurance?

I have not added her specifically to my insurance policy. I only have PLPD on the vehicle. Would she be covered if she hit anything... anyone , yikes! Or do I have to call to add her? It will raise my policy a LOT but she's almost 18 and when she gets her license she will have to pay for her own insurance. So for now I am trying to fly under the radar but legally. Is that possible?""

Car Insurance In Virginia?

I'm 19, First time driver, 1 Child, Car paid in full, Live in the 22031 area (fairfax), Had a seatbelt ticket before I obtained my license, Female. I want to know which insurance would be best suited for me, I dont need the quotes, I just want advice (from expierience) on where to get quotes from first. I have my permit, and will have my license in 25 days. I'm looking into cars right now, and should have one chosen in the next 2 weeks. I know the car will change what the insurance is, but I have not chosen it. I know I want an automatic 4 door sedan Used. Not sure on mileage yet. Leaning towards Nissan Altima. Any advice???""

Rear ended someone in a rental vehicle, will my premiums rise?

How much does it estimately cost for a car insurance?

Please don't give any stupid answers. All I want is to get an estimate because I have not got ANY ANY clue about it. You can just give a range like 100-200 pounds per [unit time]. Hint: I will get my car when I am 17 so roughly how much will it be annually/monthly? The most sensible and reliable answer gets 10 points for best answer.

How much is insurance on a Oldsmobile Alero or a Toyota Echo???

I am currently looking for a new car, and I'm trying to find a car with a good safety rating, dependable and low insurance. Can anyone help me in my search?""

Will the Insurance company fix my car?

Couple weeks ago some idiot ran into my car. His insurance company is only Liability, and car damage is covered for up too $5,000 in damages. So here is the deal....the Kelly Blue Book value of my car is about $9,500 and the insurance company wants to salvage my car. Can this be possible? I mean my car is worth way more than what the damage is, and I spoke to the claims department and explained my situation and they said if your lawyer (my lawyer) and the body shop guy who is going to fix my car signs off mentioning that they can fix my car for $5,000 then I can get my car back. But please help....do you guys really think I will get my car fixed and back or will I be stuck with only $5,000. Any advice is appreciated! My car is a 2002 Mercedes - C240 - 4 door sedan""

Cheap health insurance in Pennsylvania?

Which companies have good coverage in Philadelphia, and have affordable plans (~60-70 bucks). I'm looking at moderate deductible plans with copays for doctor office visits. Also, ...show more""

Baby insurance?

I currently have insurance through AmeriGroup in TN, and i was wondering if i have to get the baby their own insurance before they are born? does anyone know anything about this? my husband and i were a little surprised to be pregnant, and so our maternity insurance didnt kick in and we will not be able to add the baby to it.""

Is home insurance quote negotiable?

Just got a new quote on home owner insurance. It is slightly better than my last insurance company, but not by much. Is this quote negotiable? Or it is what it is, take it or leave it?""

Which insurance is cheaper for a motorcycle or a car?

Ok parents are starting to make me pay insurance now. I have an 1995 Accura Integra but I would like to have decelntly fast bike. Anything over 250 cc

Where to find affordable complete health insurance?

i am looking fior affordable health insurance, like as in family. i am looking online, but so far have come up with nothing. they are dropping my insurance at work, so i need to find something. if i have to go online to find it, that is ok.""

Can I get motorcycle insurance without a license?

How much can home insurance cost?

i want to buy a home and i need to know how much my insurance might be.

We are looking at buyin a house what insurances will we need and around how much should we budget for this?

We are first time buyers ans are looking to buy a house and we were wondering what are the insurances we need to take out and how much should we be looking at budgeting for this a month any help would be brill thanks x

Can anyone help with car insurance?

I'm 17 and I passed my test about 2 months ago. I am looking to buy a Peugeot 306 and insure it with my mum as main driver as she is not a main driver on any another policy then have me as named driver. The only problem is that she doesnt have any No Claims Bonus as she is named driver on my dad's insurance. Could anyone tell me which company might be cheapest to do this with please?

INSURANCE !!! any 17 years old insured ??

hi i wanna know any 17 year olds insured by themselves on wat car, how much they are paing and which insurer plz""

What is a good health insurance for an individual?

My dad lost his job 6 months ago, his new job doesn't have benefits. What is a good health insurance that will be cheap enough for a young college student that is affordable? (I ...show more""

About life insurance?

i am 35 year old and i have one daughter of 1 year.i want to take policy for myself and for my wife also.we both are in govt jobs.plz suggest me best policies

Car Insurance Question?

Hi, im 16 and 17 in August living in Ireland, and i'm thinking of buying either a Honda Civic 1999-2001 or a Honda integra 1998-2001 aswell, i'm a guy and i'm wondering how much it'll cost to insure either one of them, and also what car is better""

How much does motorcycle insurance cost?

Im planning on purchasing an '08 kawasaki ninja 250 for college but I am doing so without my parents approval which means i have to pay for everything (bummer!) But I was wondering how much typical insurance would be for a bike like this???

Cheap insurance for '99 mustang?

I'm buying a used mustang next month and need to get cheap insurance since I will be making payments. What is the best (and cheapest) insurance for an 18 year old young woman?

Who offers the cheapest life insurance?

Repayment of my health insurance premiums?

I received a letter in the mail a week ago, and can't locate it now. It was explaining as to how there is a government program in place to reinburse for health insurance premiums paid if someone in your household gets NC Medicaid? Anyone know about this as for the life of me I can't put my hands on the letter. Any insight would be helpful. Thanks.""

Need Health Insurance!?

My husbands company doesnt provide benefits. We have three kids and need health insurance. We have been looking but all the insurance you can find is like $10000, $5000, $3000 deductible, 20% co-insurance, pay nothing AFTER deductible for office visit and $500~$1000 premium.unbelievable!. We cant get states insurance because our income is little high (middle class). What can we do to get regular insurance for my family?""

What is the cheapest insurance company?

Do you have to declare cancelled motorbike insurance when applying for car insurance?

My motorbike insurance was cancelled as my NCB was over 2 years old (they required it to be within 2 years) and I couldn't provide it. They cancelled the policy. Do you have to declare this on car insurance policies?

Motorcycle Insurance 16yr Old?

I am 16, I am thinking about getting a crotch rocket, and just wanna know about insurance. State: Minnesota Year of bike: 1995-2005 I am thinking 650cc - 750cc I have experience on motorcycles (dirt bikes) I do realize their is some difference I have a grade average of B's or higher.""

What car companies have the highest insurance rates?

Highest to lowest would be a good way to list them for me.

Rear ended someone in a rental vehicle, will my premiums rise?

Do you have to pay for insurance when you start a driving job?

A staffing agency is requiring me to pay a $150 refundable deductible before I start the job, does this sound legit?""

Does auto insurance cover the vehicle or the driver (California)?

I work on a military installation and I'm required to have the appropriate decals on my car to enter through the gates. I went to renew my decals as they are only good for 3 years and I was denied. My registration has both my dad and I listed (since he paid for the car), but my insurance policy only has him listed because he foots the bill, but I am a covered driver. My vehicle ID number, make, model, and year is listed on both the registration and proof of insurance card. My name is on the registration so I thought this would suffice (especially because they already gave me decals/passes in the past). The marine I was speaking to said that what I am doing is illegal in the state of California and that I must be a policy holder in order to be covered. I always thought that insurance covered the car. Can anyone clarify this issue and reference the California Vehicle Code? I've searched and searched and cannot find accurate clarification. I wanted to be able to print something and show it to him. If I can't find proof then I can't get to work.""

Car Insurance for a new driver????

My wife was looking at getting her drivers licence and was wondering how much it would cost roughly for say a 1998 dodge caravan to be insured under a new driver. She is 28 and will be taking a driving school to learn how to drive. Does anyone know if it would be more or less then $400 a month. Thanks

""My husband and I are self employed.....We are shopping for health Insurance, what do recommend?""

We are looking for affordable health insurance, but I don't even know where to begin....If you are self employed, who is your provider and why?""

Do you have health insurance?

If so, How much is it per month? How old are you? What kind of deductable do you have?? feel free to answer also if you do not have insurance.""

Do you think people who cause their own health problems should not be covered by insurance?

Some health problems are self-inflicted, others are not. If it can be proven that the health problem in question is self-inflicted, I don't understand why we don't force the patients to pay for it out of their own pockets? If such patients' heath care is covered by insurance companies, that cost is distributed among all their insurance customers. And that is unfair to people like me who go above and beyond to be healthy. Here are some example situations I am talking about: -A tanning bed sunbather who gets skin cancer -A chain smoker who gets lung cancer -A heavy drinker who gets cirrhosis of the liver -An unhealthy eater who gets Type II diabetes or heart disease -Someone with Type I diabetes who has kidney failure due to poor diabetes control. All of these health problems are their own fault (i.e. I think it is pretty well recognized that Paula Dean's diabetes is pretty much her own fault). What ever happened to personal responsibility?""

How much would insurance for cars be around for 18 year olds ?

Health Insurance for i130 documents?

Can I used Health Insurance that I have added to my wife to my policy as a support document. She is out of status on the Visa. She has also been on my insurance for 4 months now.

How much does it cost to see a gynecologist without health insurance?

I live around the Chicago suburbs, and I don't have health insurance at the moment. I just want to get the regular check-up and pap smear. Anyidea how much it would cost?""

Car insurance for dependent child with no car-(US)?

Do I need to add my son (age 20) to my auto insurance policy if he does not have a car and drives so very little!

How much would this monthly payment approx be?

A new car that was a total cost of 16 thousand dollars. Monthly payment would be around 140. Plus full coverage insurance?

Does any one knows if a time requirement exist that you have to notify your car insurance co. if you're hit?

My car was hit in a parking lot. the other driver told me to get an estimate for the damages and he will write a check. if the cost is too high, his insurance co will pay. do I have to tell mey insureance co. about this? is there a minimum time that I have to tell my insureance co? thank you.""

Can I have car insurance under my parent's name?

Meaning, I am 17 on a probationary license. My parents and I currently have Allstate Insurance and I'm a part time driver on mom's vehicle. They recently bought me a car from my instructor's daughter. I would like to be an all-by-myself driver under Liberty Mutual, being they've shown me the absolute best rate, hands down. So question is- can I have car insurance under my parent's name with Liberty Mutual, as they keep Allstate? (My policy, just under their name)""

Health insurance for a minor...?

I moving to California and on my own and I am 17, turning 18 in about 2 months, and I was wondering how much health insurance would cost me? and what would it cover?""

Car insurance for new drivers!?

Will car insurance for a 19 year old be allot cheaper than a 17 year old? Both being NEW drivers.

Insurance cost for a BMW ?

I'm 17 and want to buy a bmw, nothing New , maybe a 2001 or something .. What kinda insurance prices would I face? I have a clean driving record and good grades , if that matters at all""

How much would full coverage car insurance cost?

for a 2003 chevy impala 64,xxx thousand miles i am 21 with no accidents or tickets!!!""

What company offers the cheapest motorcycle insurance in Toronto?

""I am a college student I need a good car with low insurance (I have 25,000 to spend)?""

I have a decent amount of money to spend on a car, but I am still young, and in turn my insurance would be high if I got something like a mustang. I need something like looks sporty, is moderatly prestigious, sexy, etc but will have low insurance for someone who is 18. I love BMWs. I havn't ever been in an accident and I think age 24 is when my insurance will go down a lot. I guess I will have to wait to get a sports car then.""

Which car insurance is better GMAC or Allstate?

I currently have AAA insurance, but I don't like my agent, so I am switching. GMAC and Allstate both gave me good rates, so I am trying to decide between the two. Please let me know of your experience with either company. Thanks!""

I am a male with a 2003 ford focus with 47000 miles I also live in PA what would be the cheapest car insurance

Car insurance and accidents?

I was at fault in an accident. So insurance had to pay the damages and premiums will go up. Will it go up higher if I have them fix my car also? If I fix it myself will that cause it to go up less than if I use insurance money?

Car Insurance quotes?

I am trying to get car insurance for my young grandson and the prices I have been quoted are extortionate. Is this something that any of you have down recently and, if so, can you give me any advice?""

How i can buy repairable cars from insurance company's for start bus sines?

i want to start bus sines with insurance company's who sell cheap repairable cars

Where can I find affordable health insurance?

I am 19, a smoker and I am currently not working but I have health issues and I need to find a health care provider that won't drain my bank account... Any ideas?""

Rear ended someone in a rental vehicle, will my premiums rise?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/new-teen-driver-insurance-carmen-scott"

0 notes

inequilibrium · 7 years ago

Note

this is really unasked for and i hope is not a burden and if it is im truly sorry but i need to talk to someone. In addition to it, i want to maybe warn you if you don´t want to read this ask im going to talk about mental health and concerns i have.[ ------ ]----- Lately i´ve been struggling with depression an anxiety, as it is; the main reason is because i couldnt find what i wanted to do with my life, or if its even worth it. Being honest i never wanted to board that issue, not even when (1)

everything is under a cut!

(2) i had to choose a major, and rn when im about to finish it i realized i messed up, i dont know what i want to do because my drive to keep studyind that major wasnt because i wanted to do that for life not even because i enjoyed it, i did it because it was ‘the right thing to do’ ‘something i always wanted’ and it kept me busy with the idea that at least i wasnt being lazy, i was doing something, my life had a meanig and a gold, for who? who knows (2)

(3) and now that i find myself finishing it, and i have to choose again something to specialize and get my degree i started thinking about why keep doing it, i dont want to get a job according to it, i dont even like it, i dont hate it either but i truly dont see myself doing anything related to it. And it hit me, really hard and it hurt so much, the fact that i actually trew away five and a half years of my life, thinkig it was the right thing to do and being unhappy, for what (3)

(4) i was avoiding the whole thing and i dont even know why, but the moment i found myself thinkig about where i wanted to go, getting a job and why i wanted to finsih my carreer; i realized that, because i wasnt brave enough to face my problems and reallity i could be stucked forever doing something i dont love, spending more and more of my time instead of actually investing it. I made a mistake and it felt really awful, how many more years was i going to be okay throwing away (4)

(5) and now im stucked on a different place, now i want to find something im willing to spend my life on but i cant think of anything. I havent fully forgive myself for acting the way i did, it really really hurt those 5 years of waste, and i dont want to keep loosing time that wont come back. I try to make peace in the sense that okay, theyre gone but im still young, theres so much more i can do; but is not easy. Ive been feelling so lost and hopeless. i want to have a reason, a purpose (5)

(6) i dont want to stay till but rn i cant find a reason to even get out of bed, why would i get up, get dressed, eat. If i dont have something i want to do or get, either acomplish; and the things i have at the moment i dont want them because even thinking about them makes sad each and every day. It sounds really bad since im on an advantageous position, i have health and i am abled but my mind doesnt let me go. I dont know what to do now, i know its a matter of picking again and (6)

(7) and start working but when i try to ask myself, i found a blank space. Its the worst ive been in years because even if i think of starting a new major, i got such a negative conception of college as an institution and experience, all the sadness ive been feeling, imprinted a lot of negative feelings to it; that now even going back just triggers my anxiety and depression. I really dont know what should i do, or if anything would even worth it. i think im not completely helpless since (7)

(8) im still willing to try, but my depression and self judgement peeps and i cant seem to get out of it. Now i dont even know what i like or enjoy, what im actually willing to do, or what is the right thing to do or even if i should finish this major in the mean time. There was a point where i wanted to stop trying. and even now, even if im willing to try i dont know towards what i should run. I wnat to think im doing better that the past days, at least i stopped crying all and judging and (8)

(9) blaming myself, but my appetite is still gone, and the things i used to enjoy just feel like a burden to me atm, listening to music, reading; i dont feel interest on doing it anymore, i stil get distracted and cant seem to concentrate. i dont know what to do, how does one fall back again on the track of life?. I dont wat to get stucked but im stucked right now. I want to try and think but my mind is messed up and blank, if the things, the small ones i ised to enjoy i cant seem to be able (9

(10) to even do them anymore, how am i supposed to find a purpose, a gold. something i like and am willing to invest my time on. I feel confused and sad. and i really dont know where to start. it was so sad when i found myself surrounded by people who seem to know what they wanted, or why they were doing that major, how it made them feel acomplished, i realized something was really wrong because wasnt even one bit excited. and it made me think, and blame myself to no end (10)

(11) im afraid of choosing again,messing up,being that wrong. But for more that i want to move on my mind wont let me,and i dont know anymore.[ ] Im really sorry for doing this, and by no means i want to give my problems to someone else, i dont intent to load anything on anyone i just needed to talk to somebody,we dont know eachother but i dont feel like you are a complete stranger to me since ive been following your blog and i read about what you share,talk and write,for quite sometime now(11)

(12) im truly truly sorry,

okay firstly, never say sorry for feelings and for wanting to express them. you’re always allowed to feel.

i don’t know why you picked me to share this with but i’m honoured.

i’m not the best at advice, i think i’ve made too many mistakes in life to really know anything about what’s going on. but i do know one thing, the major you choose, any choice you make, that doesn’t have to be the be all and end all of things. there’s always another road, a way to make a u-turn, and a way to rectify things.

there’s nothing wrong with not knowing where to go next or what to do or even why you chose the major you did. it’s a little unfair of the world to expect young people to know what they’re doing when sometimes even people who have lived far longer lifetimes seem to just be faking it, isn’t it?

when i graduated college, it was with a science degree, because back then, i liked science and i was good at it. unfortunately, by about a year before graduation, i already knew i never wanted to go near a science lab or a science book ever again. by then, it was too late to change. so, i made a different choice when looking for a job, and in a roundabout way, i’m now in mass communications; a writing job. exactly what college-me didn’t know i wanted.

it’s okay to be stuck and not know what to do, no one ever knows, that’s the beauty of life, we’re all making it up as we go along.

take a first step, just…maybe see what’s out there, what you can do, what you want to do. look for what they’re looking for, if maybe it’s general enough that you fulfil the criteria. i don’t know what major you have right now, but i think many jobs don’t necessarily need a very specific degree, they just need a certain level of education. then you gotta take the leap, and try.

easier said than done, i know. but i believe you can.

no one ever makes perfect choices, that’s why there’s chances in every stage of life to make a u-turn. if you’re wrong, it’s okay, what matters is you try to fix it. and i think you have a heart to do that, even if it’s a little bit harder right now.

and that’s my attempt at advice ahhh. i hope it helped a bit but please disregard everyTHING if it didn’t. i hope it gets easier as time goes by, and i hope you find a road and opportunities that will help. (msg me offanon if you want tho)

#ask #oh man i'm so sorry if i fucked this up #but oh don't give up on yourself never give up on yourself ;;;

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