#i dont really mind the thought but sometimes
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replaying some of mwii and price saying "slow and steady" has given me price teaching babysitter!reader how to suck cock brain worms
cw: oral/handjob (reader giving), Virgin/inexperienced! reader, implied age gap, facial, corruption kink if you squint, gn!reader
you're so fucking inexperienced, it almost makes him feel bad for getting as hard as he does when you look at him with those pretty eyes. you look at him with trust and admiration, his baby on your hip making it even worse. he wants to grab you, kiss you, manhandle you, fucking hell, if he could he'd press you face down into his pillow and take your innocence right then and there. but he had to go to some spontaneous meeting, he had to fucking leave you. he stays strong, smiling at you and ruffling your hair as he leaves. "behave, yea? both of ya." he says with a wink, your giggle making his cock twitch.
once in the car and on the road he's really debating jacking off so he doesn't have to go into the meeting with a boner, maybe it would even help him later so he doesn't get painfully hard the moment you say hi to him when he's back. he ultimately decides against it, he's a grown man for fucks sake, he needs to control himself. so he goes through the meeting, it gives him some distraction, at least until he's back in the car. it's already dark when he's coming back, quietly unlocking the door. he prays you're asleep so he can just put a blanket over you and let you sleep, but you're awake. you smile brightly as he comes in, a soft "hi Mr. Price!" coming from your lips.
"John." he corrects in a stern but gentle voice, taking off his jacket, it makes you chuckle.
"I'm sorry, John." you say in a teasing tone, sometimes he wonders if you really are this innocent or if you just act like it. but god, if he wasnt as stressed as he was from the god damn meeting his cock would already be hard again. he just sighs and drops on the couch next to you, head fallen back and body slack. you tilt your head with a frown. "whats wrong?" the words make his heart flutter.
"just stressed, is all. dont worry your little head, love." he murmurs, reaching out to gently pat you on the head. you hum a bit.
"is there anything i can do to help you relax?" you ask, his mind immediately down the gutter. he suddenly wants to tell you all the nasty things he wants to do to you, shove your face into his crotch to make you nuzzle his cock, but he just stares at the ceiling for what feels like hours before looking at you. he opens his mouth to speak, but the look on your face makes him stop. your eyes are wide and glued to the bulge in his jeans, your mouth hanging open. his cheeks turn pink in embarrassment, he fumbles with his words.
"bloody hell - fuck, 'm sorry, I-" he pauses as he looks at your face properly. the shock isnt mixed with disgust as he initially thought, oh no. it's the opposite. you look curious, almost intrigued. he holds his breath as you make eye contact, then asks quietly. "do you want to help?" he asks, voice low and husky, filled with anticipation and a bit of fear of rejection. "you don't have to, if you don't wanna." he says gently, making sure you don't feel forced.
"i.. I never.. did anything.." is all you can get out, voice tinged with embarrassment. despite already being very sure you're a Virgin he's still mildly surprised to hear you say it, eyebrows raising a bit.
"I can teach ya. if you want." you hesitate for just a second before nodding, his heart skips a beat.
"okay.." you say softly. he has to take a moment before he nods softly, hands going to his belt and trying to not just rip it open.
"I'll just show you, so you can get familiar with him, yea? if you wanna stop at any point you tell me. understood?" his tone is serious, he waits until you nod before letting his fat cock spring free, slipping his pants and underwear down just enough so you see his heavy balls. your face heats up, mouth dropping open again as you stare at it, the tight balls, the angry, red tip, all have been begging for release for hours, and finally they'll get it. he waits until you seem a bit more composed before reaching his hand to you. "gimme your hand darling." he orders gently, you put your hand into his. your skin feels like heaven under his calloused fingers, even better as he wraps it around his trembling cock. he groans, squeezing your hand as he holds it in place; your fingers can't even fully wrap around it. it twitches eagerly, tip weeping as he guides your hand up and down slowly. low moans escape his lips, eyes lidded as he holds back. "you okay bird?" he pants, his voice a bit more rough than usual.
you nod, your trembling hand slowly moving at your own pace, watching intently. it makes him chuckle, letting go of your hand and putting it on your head, petting you as a silent praise. "doin well, love. keep going for me, yea?" he murmurs, you nod again. his tip starts leaking precum, you bite your lip. "don't do that. your lips are so pretty darlin." he frowns, his own words burning the image of your lips wrapped around his dick into his brain. he hesitates before speaking again.
"want to try sucking it?" he asks gently, your eyes widen. you hesitate again, his hand cups your cheek softly. "don't worry. I'll help ya."
"..okay." you say, taking a breath. his hand slides to the back of your head, guiding you closer - kissing your forehead before guiding you down.
"open your mouth nice and wide. watch your teeth." you open up wide, tongue sticking out a bit, he guides you down just so the tip is in your mouth. "wrap your lips around it." you follow his order and he groans, straining to not cum right this second. he takes a breath before speaking again. "now suck a bit. start gently and slowly do more. run your tongue over it too." he instructs in a soft murmur. "it might taste a little funny." you suck softly and lick the tip, making a face and pulling back. he laughs, patting your head softly. "I warned you darling. that bad?" he grins as you lick your lips.
"no... just.. surprised me.." you admit in embarrassment, taking a deep breath before dipping your head and trying again. this time you don't pull back, John's hand rests on the back of your head as he breaths heavily.
"good job, sweetheart... thinking you can try bobbing ya head a bit?" his jaw is slack, eyes rolled back when you actually do it - way too fast and too deep for your first time. as much as he loves the feeling of his tip hitting the back of your throat, the immediate gag and your face scrunching up in discomfort break his heart. he grabs your head firmly but not roughly, pulling your head up just enough to make you look at him. "don't do that. who taught you that?" he asks sternly, you shrink a bit under his gaze.
he hums. "try again. do it slow and steady." he says lowly, the tone making you shiver. you nod softly, letting him push you down much, much slower, letting him guide your head as your lips wrap around his cock again. "there we go. just like that, bird." he groans, already closer than he wants to be. he slowly guides it deeper into your warm mouth, your adorable attempts at using your tongue making his tip leak again. it doesn't take long before his hips stutter. "fuck... gonna cum, angel..- " he grunts, voice strained as he pulls you back, free hand wrapping around the base of his cock to steady himself as he cums all over your face. you gasp loudly, eyes shut tied and mouth open in shock as the warm, sticky liquid hits your skin. his moans quickly turn into chuckle as he sees the state of you. "aw, sweetheart, are you alright?" he cackles, shaking his head.
still chuckling he reaches to the coffee table and grabs a tissue, wiping your face off quickly before pulling you to his chest, kissing your head. "there you are, good job darlin. you okay?" he asks again, rubbing your back as you nod. "good... I'll get you a cup of water."
───── ⋆⋅Taglist⋅⋆ ─────
@captainchrisstan @maplewhisk
#i need him bad#writing this drunk and eepy#goodnight folks#gothghostiie#babysitter!reader#dad!price#cod mw#cod mw2#cod mwii#call of duty#cod#cod mw3#cod mwiii#john price#John price x reader#price x reader#price#captain john price#captain price#captain john price x reader#captain price x reader#cod price#price cod
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for me I really don't like fiddlestan because it feels like the "pair the spares" fandom thing. People ship Bill and Ford together so Stan and Fiddleford get paired together and it really annoys me. There is so much to infer about Fiddauthor from how Fiddleford acts around and treats Ford, but no people like Ford and that triangle so let's pair two characters who have never interacted before instead
yeah like i try not broadly hate on everyone who likes the ship bc ive had at least one or two mutuals who shipped it and were cool about it and to an extent i do think it can be fun to try to puzzle out how two characters who dont interact in canon much would interact in a sandbox as like a thought exercise thing almost (due 2 my roots as a femslash warrior) but yeah i really dont think thats whats happening here for the most part lol. it really does just seem like a lot of people are going about it by way of constructing a shipping chart in their minds and throwing them together when theyre left over after making billford an item without much mind to them as individual characters. i think i said this in a reply the other day but its also bizarre to see the logic play out in peoples heads sometimes like 'welll bill and ford are both hashtag toxic and selfish and Bad so they should be together while stan and fiddleford are both sweet pure innocent victims (of ford) so they should be together' & its like?? this is not a coherent character analysis anymore. these are just some other guys now
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Fanfic writer interview
tysm for the tag eb! sorry i took so long getting to it. i swear it was screaming at me from the drafts the whole time
How many work do you have on AO3?
4! (but one of them doesn’t really count because it’s a test)
What's your total AO3 word count?
84,177
What are your top 5 stories by kudos/likes?
two ibuprofen - 92 notes
low tide - 44 notes
just us - 26 notes
ofcwbo - i’m not sure but she’s definitely at the bottom
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
yes i do! i love that people take the time and effort to do this and i want to show my gratitude always. they didnt have to comment but they did. fics are so personal as well imo, seeing what other people have to say about it is. i’m not sure how to describe it but it makes me want to yell into a pillow.
What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?
ofcwbo will have the edgiest ending, but since i haven’t actually finished any of my (posted) fics other than just us, it has to take the title by default. (it does have a very angsty ending though. and an angsty beginning and middle)
What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?
using the above logic, just us by default….? (it would be anything in the rose tinted hours collection (that being two ibu or low tide (for now (👁️)) because that’s my happiness and i shall keep angst away from it with a 10 km pole)
Do you write crossovers?
nope
Have you ever received hate on a fic?
nope! if that happens i’ll wither and die
Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
no
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
not that i know of!
Have you ever had a fic translated?
nope!
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
oh dear god. my origin story
back in my reddit phase (i was like 13? leave me alone) i made art for a fandom which mustn’t be named and met another person there. we became friends (stranger danger, i know, i’m smarter now) and somehow we started writing fic. it went pretty well, they would make most of the plot and the chapter outline and i would go in and edit it to make it make sense. we had a good run, all things considered. we then moved on to another fandom (read: they dragged me into another fandom) and we wrote for that one as well, except this time i got the opportunity to write my own chapters with my own ocs. that’s when i started realizing how nice and cool this was.
if youre seeing this, J, hi.
What's your all-time favorite ship?
jean and i. alternatively, me and jean (YEAH FOR SELFSHIP DELULU I LOVE BEING INSANE)
What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?
i don’t have such weaknesses. i WILL finish all my wips.
(ofcwbo. it’s going to drag on forever. deep inside a part of me wants to be realistic and say that it’s a little unrealistic for me to actually get down everything i wanted in a way that satisfies me. maybe i dont even WANT to finish it, because the fic has been such a comfort in the back of my mind for so long that the idea of it suddenly. terminating. is terrifying. maybe i’m overthinking it. i just dont want that world in my head to die, whether that be by fading away quietly or suddenly coming to an end.)
What are your writing strengths?
toughie. i think my descriptions are solid, as well as getting into the mc’s head (but that can just be attributed to the first person pov thing aha).
What are your writing weaknesses?
planning whatever i’m trying to write - i dont control it, it infects my brain and hands and forges its own way. i’m also not a huge fan of proofreading (this mostly applies to the earlier chapters of ofcwbo (i get embarrassed)). i also have a tendency to repeat a certain phrase or metaphor in a fic without realizing it. sequences of actions are hard to write too.
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
i try not to do it too much because it can be confusing and having to translate/provide a translation can break the flow. but i do like adding in little phrases sometimes based on my hcs for what languages the characters speak
What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?
i’m not sure i have one. i’m deep in the bowels of jean/reader purgatory and i don’t see a way out
What's your favorite fic you've written?
just us. <3
@firefly--bright no pressure (yes pressure)
Fanfic writer interview
Thank you @thelettersfromnoone for the tag!! 💖
How many work do u have on AO3?
3, not your local AO3 girlie lmao
What's your total AO3 word count?
8 534
Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes
I'll go with Tumblr ones, cause from my 3 AO3 works the biggest number I got is 31 lmao
Anyone but you (Legolas x f!reader)
Night watch (Legolas x Reader)
Well-deserved rest (Haldir x f!Reader)
One messy night (Boromir x f!Reader)
Transition (Haldir x f!Reader)
Honorable mention (since it's not fics but headcanons)
Green Council receiving a hot pic from you (HotD)
TLK men's reaction on being pet named
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I always try to respond to comments! These little things are brightening up my day, so I wanna let the people know that they are my heroes hahaha
What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?
I really think it's Transition. All in all it's a pretty dark story, a bit depressing I think (I had these intentions while writing at least).
Otherwise, I don't think I have angsty endings fics?
What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?
New family members for sure!! Was thinking hard what to choose, cause I think all of my happy ending fics are on the pretty same level on a happy scale, but I remember that I have this gen, non romantic baby and I love it so much ❤️🩹 There's a little TLK OMC for y'all
Do you write crossovers?
I wanted to say I've never done this BUT THEN!!! My Assassin's Creed (Ezio) x LOTR little headcanon!!! My beloved child!!
Have you ever received hate on a fic?
No, not that I remember getting any hate on my fics
Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
I do, tho not much and on rare occasions. I used to write a lot of smut when I was younger (a teen), then I stopped being comfortable with it for a wild few years (tho reading never made me uncomfortable lmao).
Now I started writing smut again, idk what kind? Don't really understand what does that mean lol F x M traditional sex? Pretty detailed? If so, then yes lmao
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I don't know 😂 Maybe, maybe not. I think rather not.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
Not to my knowledge, I don't think so.
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
We tried with my friend a long long time ago. Didn't go well lmao It's hard and kinda stressing, cause you never know what the other person is gonna write (at least we had this SURPRISE system), so... You kinda have zero plot cause everything you want to write plot-wise can be ruined by the second person's plot lmao
What's your all-time favorite ship?
Athelnar?? Athelstan and Ragnar were my first ever OTP (quickly followed by Alfred and Uhtred). You could never beat that Athelnar shit out of my body lmao I've never written for them, but oh I do love them boys!
What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?
Now, that's the HARSH one lmao
I think I have at least 3 OC stories that I really wanna write (2 for TLK and one for LOTR), but I'm scared that I will never actually do it. I never was good with multi chaptered stories, and these are indeed not a one shots 🥲
What are your writing strengths?
Ugh... I don't know? I think I was pretty good with dialogues and descriptions of the surroundings to build the atmosphere. But... I guess it's not for me to decide but for the readers?
What are your writing weaknesses?
I rarely finish what I've started lmao I should write everything in one go or else I'll never finish it... Or will finish it in two months even if it's a 2k words one shot
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
I love them! I've only done it with my LOTR fics (with Sindarin) but I really love it. But I really love it when the language is different from the language of the settings? Like, if the story is happening in England and everyone is English, but you have two characters who can speak idk Dutch, let them have a Dutch language in their dialogue. I had a rant post about it not that long ago actually lmao You have to think about your in-universe language
What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?
Ahhh Bungou Stray Dogs! I love them, and I'd gladly try to write something for them. Not a character/character but reader my beloved.
And maybe Stephane Narcisse (reign) my beloved and a reader
What's your favorite fic you've written?
The blood on my hands (Eomer) and Peace (Finan) are definitely my fave ones I think. They are dark and both explore some trauma
No pressure tags: @whitedarkmoonflower @lord-aldhelm @holy3cake @gemini-mama @emilyhufflepufftlk @persephones-journey @solinarimoon @mrsalwayswrite @emmanuellececchi @bilbotargaryen @levithestripper @mrsarnasdelicious @paula-in-dreamland
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i hate it when my episodes r bad enough that it's affecting my day-to-day functionality lmao
I dread going to work again and it's all due to my depressive episode causing me to spiral for the worse
And my coping mechanism is unhealthy, like I'm obsessively reading fics abt my faves n if I don't consume said media, I wld lose it all over again,,, the way they're my anchors is hilarious, pls 😟 make it end
the compartmentalisation n intellectuallising my emotions n feelings cld only work for so long before I tipped over again
I had a mini breakdown over my mom giving out my number to a family member without asking me for permission n she brushed it off as family and I still don't like it bc I know they're going to pester me and disturb abt niceties that makes me wanna claw my eyes out
I'm never good enough for them nor anyone for that matter lol
bc I failed my classes one too many times in college then I can't land a job fast enough or I can't stay in a job long enough then the job I am in isn't good enough or anyth of the sorts
the gifted kid to a problem child adult pipeline is so real lmao
sometimes I just wanna go back to when I was 12 and plan my future nicely 🤷🏻♀️ maybe smth would've change, maybe that time around
#personal#cw mental illness?#ext speaks#i need to get diagnosed when i hv the money to#genuinely i dont look forward to anyth in life anymore#i dont really mind the thought but sometimes#it unsettles me
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dude anytime i think of this the smell mustve been so insane
#worm web serial#worm#parahumans#taylor hebert#fanart#yall ever get a whiff off ur own pad sometimes#and the smell is kinda peculiar but you dont really mind it#i havent seen anyone draw her trigger event I thought itd be rather popular#exaggerating blood in drawings > anything else#trigger event sugoi >_<#wormblr
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learning abt friendship decay and "not reaching out to your friends for months at a time unprompted is not neurotypical behaviour" has me feeling a certain way
#experiencing some BIG FEELINGS OVER THIS REVELATION#listen i have never ever been bothered abt not seeing someone in a while or making time to talk to them bc in my mind its like not thst muc#time has passed. i mean it with every fibre of my being that when im like 'oh its ok even though we havent talked in a while and have our#own things going on it doesnt mean we're not friends anymore since we left things on a good note 8 months ago' i sincerely believe that#and for the longest time i just thought everybody makes peace with it at some point and not automatically assuming the other person doesnt#wanna talk to me anymore or smth. my longest lasting friendships are with ppl who work the same way i just thouhght that was normal#whatever organ everybody has that makes them reach out to their friends and plan hang outs i probably dont have it#i was already hesitant to ask out Alex bc i spend almost every waking hour doing smth that isnt talking to ppl unless they happen to be in#the vicinity. and at first it was bc i planned on making sure i had everything set up so i dont get stressed out and do it one at a time#but then i find out theres a friendship decay mechanic? and after dating and marrying someone you lose -10 friendship points for every#day u dont talk to them?? actually ive probably been losing friendship points this whole time without knowing bc of this?????#and i notice a lot of my own habits are also reflected in how i play bc ive been avoiding getting close to pierre and marnie since its more#of a professional relationship. like i know theyre npcs but im approaching it the way i would in real life its fucking nuts#i think its a little relieving im playing /as/ a character than myself bc as im playing im just making up little interactions in my head#than approaching things the way i would myself so it takes a bit of the stress off trying to put myself in there as a spectator. but well#being in a relationship demands a certain amount of energy even more so when theyre things that already take up energy on its own#like making time to talk to your partner and make sure they know theyre loved. i dont always have energy to put all my mental focus into it#and this is true for real life so im not really bothered by not dating anyone. but when its a game and i want my character to be with someo#and i know its fully optional and i know i could just apply the same logic to this i dont /want/ to. sometimes i want to experience#the same things other people do at least to a certain degree without the same emotional andmental stakes#no offense krobus#yapping#stardew#stardew valley#puppy plays sdv#sdv#this game has me by the ankles man
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I mean, yeah, that's a sea monster capable of wiping out a ship and all, but that's also the same person Eclipse knows would cry over accidentally breaking his cookie jar and then tripping over their own tail on the way out. What are you on abt
Also
don't ever shit talk his little treasure. You fool. You moron.
Anyway, i got into sea monster brainrot, so that's probably what i'll be drawing for a while lmao
Please deal with me
Sea monster/pirate au by @bones-of-a-rabbit
#babbit hope you dont mind but you'll probably be getting fanart from me for a while#your aus really gave me a rush of inspiration from the depths of the void#thanks for that <3#please deal with me#also#i love them#theyre scary but they also have half braincell#well sometimes at least#idk i just thought it was funny#anyway#dca fandom#fnaf eclipse#bones of a rabbit au#fnaf au#sea monster au#self insert#oc#with love - the sea monster anon thats no longer anon#please teach me how to properly draw your eclipse
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Day 29: Caught you!
PLEASE! Donate to save Muhammad Shehab's family! Main Post | GoFundMe
#This is honestly how I see them first meeting haha#Sonic is on Little Planet focused on stopping eggman when all of a sudden BAM lil hedgehog hugging him#amy rose#amy rose daily#sonic#sth#sonic fanart#please donate!#day 29#sonic the hedgehog#classic sonic#classic amy#I dont see this as romantic#but i dont mind if people tag this as ship if they want#honetsly like I dont even know if I ever thought Amy genuinely had a crush on sonic#^^^IN MY OWN HEADCANNONS#I think I saw it more as like#she was so in love with the idea of love that she WANTED to have a crush#and her attachment to Sonic is what brought her friends like Tails and Knuckles#so by that point she was unintentionally using her crush on Sonic to keep her connection to her friends#since they really were more Sonic's friends than hers#in fact I think it kinda took years for her to realize that knuckles and Tails even saw her as a friend outside of Sonic#especially since the three of them would ditch her all the time as kids#and it seemed that anytime her and sonic disagreed Knuckles and Tails would take Sonics side since “Amy is crazy sometimes”#bascially I think Sonic and Amy's frienship is very complicated because actually BOTH of them were in the wrong#Amy didnt respect sonic's bloundaries#but sonci didnt respect Amy's wants or feelings#and when tehy were younger that feel into Knuckles and Tails also having less respect for Amy#at one point though - after Amy has already sworn off her crush on sonic and has worked to make up for how she used to treat him#she actually calls them out on how they disrespect her sometimes
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here's that essay i accidently hyped up (sorry) on how fionna & cake did a poor job of concluding betty & simons characters + story in the final 2 episodes. sorry it is so insanely long. i don't know what my deal is. sometimes a show just does such a bad job of handling your favorite characters that you have to write 19k+ words complaining about it, i guess. im linking it as a pdf bc i DO NOT want to have 2 copy & paste this all over to tumblr & i kinda don't think tumblr would be happy with me making a post that long.
#if it sucks uhm. be nice to me pls 👉👈#ik im very snarky & kinda harsh in this but like. i rlly dont usually share my thoughts on media like this much#im ok w hearing rebuttals btw. but also its not likley youll change my mind#im really happy other ppl enjoyed this ending (& also kinda jealous)#but i very definitely. dont like it#not just from a personal standpoint but in that#i just genuinely think the portrayal of simon & betty was done really poorly#things r bolded + theres random section titles that interupt the flow#bc even tho i wrote this much i do genuinely have reading comprehension issues#as in the actual definition of poor reading comprension. due to disability#not the tumblr thing where its for some reason used to mean ' bad at understanding media ' sometimes#oh yea also the font is big bc of this too#im nervou s abt this but too late now ig#fionna and cake spoilers#im not putting it in the tags its 4 the ppl who already know abt it#its emberassing that i wrote all this but i think its worse if i dont share it bc then i just. have it#mmmm..worst part is i dont even cover everything. i have MORE complaints#text
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Hello! I would like to say that your art my favorite in the entire fandom, I don't know how to describe it but it just feels the best 💃 The way you draw the characters is very nice, Jamil is one of my favorites and you have his personality captured very nicely! Anyway, I hope you have a good day and I hope a lifetime supply of your favorite food drops from the sky for you 🤸♀️
AAHH THIS IS MAKING ME CRYYY ANON
i've never received a compliment about my art like this before so that's such an honor to hear 😭💕💕
THANK YOU SO MUCH I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST (*chucks this out here as another thanks*)
#this just really made me emotional and ridiculously happy hdhgfhgfjf#people complimenting my art is always the last thing i expect#which i dont mind because i throw my art out there preferring thoughts about its idea rather than its quality#but compliments are always such a jumpscare and they always feel good regardless 💕💕💕#so i really can't thank you enough anon 😭🫶😭🫶 😭🫶#i also sometimes fear that i make jamil ooc since im basically just headcannoning how he acts if he ever gets the feels(tm)#the most affection he shows in game i think is platonic and he BARELY even shows that#so i'm also so happy to hear you think i portray him well 💕#i'm putting up this ask on my wall#[—✦ chatting#-✧ my art#(💜) yuusha#(💜) scarashackle dish#-✦—]
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thinking about frank and sex (in a sad way)
#marvel#frank castle#the punisher#not as in about sex with him but like how hes portrayed in relation to it in the comics if that makes sense#hes just always so deeply uninterested not just in the women but the act itself too like#so many times hes like. not pressured thats the wrong word but like i can think of at least two times i saw#where the women just kinda. walk themselves into his bed. and hes like 'eh idk about this' but then just kinda does it anyway#like i imagine the writers intended for this to be like a cool guy thing yk like ah he gets so much action and he DOESNT CARE cuz hes COOL#but ME personally i cant help but read it like. god idk i dont want to say him letting himself get used and using them in turn#theres this expression 'going through the motions' that kind of feels right here but idk how to explain it#hes just so weird about it. every time. in my mind i cant imagine him ever really wanting it very much#like maybe to feel good sometimes but its never. idk am i making sense am i just saying shit#is he gay asexual missing his dead wife or just so so fucking traumatized and dead on the inside that his body is just an object now#so many fun ways to interpret this#<guy who is not having fun interpreting this#wish i could just project my thoughts into your heads so youd see exactly what i mean cuz i dont feel im verbalizing this well enough#god take a shot every time i say 'like' or 'just'. youll be off your face from this post only#i may be making shit up tbh idk the thought struck me out of nowhere while i was looking at the ceiling
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Bonus:
Don't mind me, I was just thinking about how Crowley must feel every time Aziraphale seems to put him in a box with the rest of hell. I know he tells him he's nice and kind and good and his friend just as many times or more, but still - after 6000 years of friendship and Doing The Right Thing together, it must have hurt when Aziraphale told him he's evil, and then even more when he told him you're the bad guys.
I just find it sooo interesting to look into every instance of Aziraphale talking about Crowley in either way. I want to take his thought process apart and study it under a microscope. We know that he knows that Crowley isn't evil, and we know that Crowley knows that he knows, and we (and Crowley) know that Aziraphale (up until a certain point) is just incredibly Heaven-brainwashed and it's hard for him to break out of that unless there's a situation at hand that requires Direct Action (see giving away the flaming sword to protect Adam and Eve, or protecting Job's children, or helping Elspeth to help Dalrymple, or stopping the Apocalypse).
How does he travel the world and the ages with Crowley and still somehow manage to call him evil with any level of seriousness? He is so convinced that all demons are evil, and at the same time he knows that Crowley's fall was unjust and a mistake and Crowley is NOT evil, but Crowley is a demon, but he's good and kind and nice and just, and Aziraphale sometimes struggles with that. Not consciously, I think, consciously he loves Crowley and trusts him and knows him well enough to see beyond angel/demon good/evil black and white thinking, but sometimes thoughts slip out of his mouth that are just. So far removed from what we know he knows.
He believes so strongly, in two things that could not be more mutually exclusive, and it's so fascinating. There's a lot of growth in that regard over the course of the series, we know that by the end of season 2 when he's talking to the Metatron, he is very clear in stating that his priority and his loyalty lie with Crowley, not with heaven. And I hold firm to my belief that he is going to Heaven because That's The Right Thing To Do, because he believes he can Make Things Better, for everybody, yes, but most importantly for Crowley. For the two of them!!
And YET. AND YET "you're the bad guys" somehow comes out of his mouth, when Crowley has Never really been a part of hell, and has always wanted to do the right thing for as long as Aziraphale has known him, and has been free of hell for Years now.
Still, Crowley is a Demon, and Demons Are Evil, angels and demons are hereditary enemies, right?
Except.... it's a little different when it's someone you know, isn't it?
#good omens#good omens 2#meta#or rather just me rambling a lot really#I feel like i put all this into words So Badly i'm not sure my point comes across#tbh i dont know if there is a point#i'm just so FASCINATED WITH HIS MIND#I feel like I understand Crowley so so so well#his every move makes perfect sense to me always#but with Aziraphale#I feel like I understand him for the most part but then sometimes he has moments that make me go????#WHAT was his thought process here#i just want to KNOW#i want to have an alcoholic breakfast at the ritz with michael sheen and just talk about Aziraphale tbh#okay whoops more rambling in the tags#let's tag this as#mine
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writing my silly little fic and again im struck with how much opportunities they missed by pretending the s2 stancy breakup wasn't messy, specifically for Nancy's guilt about barb and forcing herself to grow up too fast
like s1 Nancy spends one night being a stupid teenager goofing off at her boyfriend's party and staying over to get spicy while Barb goes home. then she later realizes Barb disappeared and died that one night she was letting go and having fun. this is widely recognized trauma for her and informs a lot if not most of her actions through the rest of the show
in season 2 she's feeling the weight of it more around the first year anniversary. steve trys to help by taking her to a party to forget for a little while and 'be stupid teenagers' for a night. a perfectly set up parallel already
the way the show wants it to go, we get the bullshit argument, they fight, allegedly break up at some point, and nancy sleeps with Jonathan. later steve tells her to go with him and we're supposed to read it as Steve stepping back so jancy can happen. we're supposed to be seeing this as a happy ending.
but with the material we're given this would have been the perfect place for an emotional repeat of season 1 for nancy. she and steve go to the party and pretend to be stupid teenagers for the night. but oh no! nancy lets lose too much, lets herself relax and drink and dance, and the next day her boyfriend's pissed. hes saying she said things she never remembered saying and its hurt him and she doesn't know what to do. and kids around school are talking about them breaking up at the party, and that fits with Steve's anger she saw, so they must've broken up right? it sucks, even if she wasn't in love with him, that'd be the worst way to break up with someone (especially if she's confusing platonic and romantic feelings or convincing herself it has to be romantic when she really just values him as a friend)
and then she doesn't have time to work it out, she needs to go with Jonathan to avenge barbs 'disappearance' to give her family closure. She's got a lot of conspiracy shit to do and its stressful. so when murray starts going off about how she's not really in love with steve, how she actually likes Jonathan and he seems to like her back. they finished a lot of the hard work with the conspiracy stuff, she can let her guard down and have a quick good night.
then the next day is chaos. demodogs and labs and will being possessed. It a rough fucking day. Steve tells her to go with Jonathan while they get the mindflayer out of Will, civil like they're on good terms so she does (and thank god she did because that was rough and they needed all the help they could get)
and then everything's fine again, with the upside down. and it looks like she handled things better this time, was about to relax occasionally and still made it through.
except apparently she and steve didn't break up. he thought it was just a few fights, that they put their shit aside for the apocalypse and now they can work things out.
and it could ruin nancy. a year later and she's still hasn't learned her lesson, that letting her guard down hurts the people she cares about, that relaxing and having fun makes her lose people. its her fault for the messy breakup with Steve and its her fault that barb is gone. she's the reason she's lost friends close to her, 2 for 2, and now she only has Jonathan left (and what do you know, season 3 has her conflict with Jonathan and in season 4 she's not let anyone else get truly close to her and fred still dies)
you see what i mean?? by having conflict magical resolve itself in the background we loose so much powerful, painful character drama for her. our girl who thinks she has to keep the world around her up solely on her shoulders because she can't handle the loss of her best friend in season 1. Nancy who desperately wants to be normal and have people she loves but keeps losing them, through factors both in and out of her control, but feels like everything has to be her fault just because some things were.
and to be fair, that story is still present in the show. its there and definitely compelling, but it could've been even more so. i feel like if maybe there was less 'nancy has to be a strong independent girlboss' in there (abd it's definitely there, they want to make a point of making her a Strong Woman Character so bad) and she was allowed to have mistakes acknowledged by the narrative, this is the direction it would've gone. She could've been an excellent example of well written women who are strong and awesome through their own right instead of the narrative trying to make us like her
#nancy wheeler#stranger things meta#stranger things thoughts#platonic stancy#stranger things#platonic stancy because while this could definitely be used in a jancy breakup then stancy fic#my personal theory is that she thinks she should like him romantically because he sees her like that but she actually likes him as a friend#and the bullshit scene was just the worst way for her to say it because she waited so long and refused to when she was sober#also didn't tag anti-nancy because i don't think it is really? like its anti-canon-depiction-because-i-think-they-did-her-dirty#also this is kinda nancy pov so its not like she's actually at fault for everything but in her mind she blames herself anyway#so yea#the fic is my Steve Henderson AU btw for ppl who've never seen me before#stancys not the focus (its steve pov with the Hendersons being main characters) but i want to do a serious platonic stancy workthrough in i#so this is just my headcanons (technically canon compliant based on what we see on screen but not following the narrative direction y'know)#devon's steve henderson au#steve henderson au rambles#hoping praying to god this doesn't make people angry but if it does feel free to block me i don't mind and i really dont want to argue#no disc horse for me just silly little thoughts and headcanons thanks for understanding#devon thinks sometimes
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you're like a celebrity to me. Is that weird? I put you on the same pedestal that actors and CEOs and stuff other people are put on. Am I normal? Am I normal, Spacie? I hope I'm not
AHAHAHAHHA??? im flattered! i dont think its weird per say, but i am definitely NOT famous. dont put me on that pedestal brah im literally like. just some guy shitting around on tumblr.com/dashboard
#spacie splains#i dont mind if people look up 2 me im just saying its a bad idea#i cant really uhhh change other peoples thoughts and or opinions of me but im wary of fame#i dont want people fawning over me. im not that interesting LMAO#also when you get too famous ppl stop viewing you as a person and moreso as an object and uh-#kind of dont want that. i am just some guy fr#on tumblr its different depending on what you get famous for. people here are a bit more down 2 earth than they are in other places#but still#you're not normal buddy anyone who follows me is . not normal at all.#well#sometimes normal people follow me 2 experience my level of crazy i wont deny#but your name has autism in it im willing 2 bet you've. got a bit of weirdness in ya
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i log on to this site. i write essays about dnp and their gay little antics. i save them to my drafts because i am scared of being perceived. i log off again
#i have thoughts. but at what cost#i know people on here are generally really cool but i dont wanna risk it lshfldkjfslkjg#like this isnt twitter but there are still topics that people will bully you for having the wrong opinion on djfskkjfk#and also theres the fact that my dissociative episodes have been better lately since im less sleep deprived but#i still have a really hard time trusting my own perception of reality sometimes if that makes sense???#like every time i try to express a serious thought on here my brain goes#ok but what if i got all of this wrong.#what if i misremembered everything and i cant read suddenly so i cant fact check it#what if dan and phil arent even real and i just made them up and nobody knows what im talking about dsjhgljglknfls it's rough#it's making it really hard to finish my thesis project as well bc i second guess every single thought i have like i cannot trust myself.#losing my mind#discussing dans phantwerp autism blunder over the last few days really took it out of me#bc i started panicking like omg what if he didnt even say that at all and i just completely made it up dsflglglsknvlknvlnknkldsnv#anyway rip to the 126 posts in my drafts which will never see the light of day
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The fact that Light takes off his hat and puts down his hood so he can better dramatically say farewell to Raye Penber lol
#like you know how in video games they dont show the characters in pre rendered cutscenes sometimes#because they might not be wearing the silly outfit you put them in anymore#it would almost make more sense if it was because of something like that rather than just knowing#he was a dramatic enough bitch to be like 'nah he really needs to see my entire round head to really let it sink in'#the audacity tbh#ALSO i had to take this picture of my actual manga because the usual website i take my screencaps from#just straight up leaves out and skips this whole scene in chapter 9?#i thought i was losing my mind it just doesnt show it at all#just goes from light and raye meeting on the bus to naomi crying like 'raye's dead'#must be kinda confusing for the first time readers#light yagami#mangacap#p
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