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just-null · 1 month ago

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Wowie rly digging the yandere clone headcanons… how would each react if their darling tried to run away from them?!

You said tried so I assume this was a failed attempt!

Short answer: they get really upset and try making it your fault (shocker.) Ain't no way any of these mfs think they're the problem. Good news! you're mostly unharmed and alive.

This will just be purely writing bc i mostly had thoughts! sorry no drawing this time!!

[cw! mentions of potential harm to reader (no actual harm done), manipulation, toxic relationship dynamics (yandere flavor), obsessive behavior]

Sekido

You're always being hunted the moment the sun comes down and you don't return home in time. Reasons like that are exactly why he hates it when you part from him.

This time is different.. he can't find you in your usual spots. There's no fucking way, right?

How could you.. No, how DARE you? Do you think that he's some joke? That his feelings for you are something that you can run away from like it's nothing?

The second he's sure the sun won't harm him, he's already white knuckling his khakkhara, swinging at anything and everything in his path until he gets to you.

They know how to sense if you're near or not, hell, they probably know how your specific blood type smells like.

Did you think cuddling up to you and memorizing every detail about you was for nothing? Don't be stupid. All he needs is a trace of you and he's gone in the blink of an eye.

You better enjoy running while you can because when he catches you, and he will, those legs of yours won't have much use after he's done with them.

Sekido doesn't WANT to do this, but you honestly give him no choice. After he trusted you enough to stop looking over his shoulder, you do this? How can he ever put any faith in you again!?

On the bright(?) side, Sekido's rage wouldn't be solely on you, it'll ricochet onto everyone, especially the other clones and himself.

They were supposed to be looking after you! But they can't do anything right, even a task as simple as this.

And why did he think it was a good idea to trust them with something of big importance when all they do is fuck everything up!? Everyone's idiocy is rubbing off on him!

The entire time on his search for you, he's cursing and wanting to crush anything he can get his hands on, especially your bones.

He doesn't even bother with speaking to the others, too busy spewing out all sorts of hurtful and frustrated comments about everything.

The brutal thought that you’d rather run away than be with him isn't one he wants to entertain, but it's echoing in his head.

At least, once the other clones get there, Karaku and Aizetsu brawl with Sekido so you're unharmed while Urogi carries you overhead.

Sekido's jealousy flares up when he sees you in Urogi's arms, making him even more pissed if that's even possible. Great, now he looks like the bad guy and the other three, the saviors. Fucking perfect.

There's a lot of yelling and a lot of blood, especially with Urogi making things so much more annoyingly difficult in the air. Karaku and Aizetsu aren't helping. Why is Sekido suddenly the problem?! You ran away!!

But when he calms down enough, he's cursing at everyone through clenched teeth. Sometimes trying to convince the others that you don't even need your legs anyway!!

Once you get back home (or temporary prison until you somehow regain favor), Sekido will eye your legs while gripping his staff from time to time.

Exactly why he's forbidden to be in a room alone with you for a while until he settles down..

He glares at you more often and grows colder than before. Arguments are more common where he twists your words just to have you talk with him and be angry within reason.

Any other type of conversation makes him so irrationally upset that the others need to step in so that he doesn't lose his temper again.

Karaku

The calmest out of the group. He brushes it off as “you're playing hard to get” again, and if he makes a ruckus, you'll scamper back and beg him to stop like always!

Then it gets darker out.. and when Sekido left, he seemed pretty pissed. Like more than usual..... shit.

Karaku sprints after Sekido when it clicks that he's found you. His mind starts reeling, unsure whether he should laugh at the absurdity of your decisions or get pissed off because you didn't even bother to give a hint!

Not like that would do anything aside from give you away but regardless!

Everyone needs to relax, this is obviously something they can sweep under the rug. This isn't that big of a deal and you're just having a fit, but things like these can get you hurt, y'know?

They're fun and all, sure, just maybe give him a heads up next time, yeah? Sekido can't take a joke, you know this!!! Still.. There's a way Karaku can work with this.

He'll be able to swoop in, save you, be your hero, and remind you why staying with him is kinda important. Just in case you forgot~

You don't wanna be out and about without his charming grin and protective hold would you? Don't answer that right now, he has a feeling you'll say something wrong!

Yet.. what if you need a firmer hand to remind you of what Karaku provides? What if you got a little too comfortable being protected so you thought you'd be alright leaving them? Man, who knew you could be spoiled!

Because of this, he would purposely fumble, letting Sekido get near you just so he can stop him at the perfect moment. He purposely gets hit too and makes sure some blood gets near you. To remind you how that could've been yours.

When Sekido calms down, Karaku laughs in your face and would pinch your cheeks if you weren't up in the air with Urogi on the way home.

You should've seen your face! It was really cute~! Maybe getting scared is your thing? He'll note that for later.

He offhandedly advises you not to do things like that all the time, fighting Sekido always kinda sucks, but it's not like you actually had a chance of successfully running away so he won't chastise you too much for it.

That's not his job, and his heart hasn’t pumped that fast in a long time.. not even in a fight! You're so amazing~~

And delusional if you think he's not going to milk this “heroism” thing back there for some extra affection points with you.

Don't be so mean. he got his head blown off twice and jaw dislocated thrice, not to mention everywhere else on his body. Don't you think those parts of him need some extra loving? more than usual?

There's not that much Karaku can say after that aside from reminiscing like it was a funny story. He's not upset about it, mostly a little miffed you got kinda far without him noticing, but he gets over it.

The usual routine starts back up for him when you're back home. It's like nothing happened, but he keeps a closer eye on you since everyone's so tense.

Urogi

If you're not home before the sun sets, Urogi's clawing at the walls with stress. He usually accompanies Sekido to go find you, but this time is different. Urogi could just barely tell you were around.. When Sekido bolts, Urogi's flying as fast as he can, trying to find you first.

You're so far.. you must've gotten kidnapped!!!!!

The stress from before burns into anger, expecting to see someone having their hands on you while you're calling out in vain. How could he let this happen?! Damn sun!

He darts through the skies even faster imagining it, and when he finally reaches you, you look.. fine? and alone. and looking at him like he's the danger. He's here to save you, dummy..

Urogi falls to his knees, burying his face against your stomach and finally wrapping his arms around you again. Your fists violently hit his head and yank fistfuls of hair back, but it doesn't phase him.

Your comforting warmth is back, that's all that matters. And god, your smell.. it's almost making him dizzy. He missed you so much.

There's many holes to the story in Urogi's head as to why you're so far from home, but he fills them in with more convoluted delusions. It's just a peaceful reunion right now..

That is until Sekido finally arrives and starts swinging his khakkhara way too close to your fragile bones.

Now he's back in defense mode where he scoops you up and tries flying out of reach. This is so stressful!!! There's lightning everywhere and he keeps having to dodge the multiple staffs thrown his way.

He shields you with his wings as best he can while trying to stay in the air, so you don't get hurt during Sekido's outburst.

In the skies, it's much clearer to see the hurt behind the haunting glow of Urogi's eyes. Did you care about how he might feel? Did you miss him at all? Did you not feel loved enough? Did someone say something to you?

As he maneuvers the sky, he holds you as tightly as possible, lightly digging his talons into your skin.

Being without you for a couple hours is agonizing enough on its own. If you HAD left him, abandoned, cold, alone.. he doesn't want to think about it. All that matters is that your kidnappers or liars or whatever influenced you are gone, and you're back safe with them!!!

You.. you still like him, right? Of course you do, fate wouldn't force your paths together if it wasn't for a reason!

Coming back home is uncomfortably tense, especially with how violently Aizetsu kicked Urogi across the room, nearly through the wall, when he tried to lick your wounds clean. It really hurt!

When you're patched up, Urogi is ten times as clingy if that's possible. He has his arms looped around you constantly so you can't stray too far, and if his hands are busy, he always has his wings!

As happy as he is that you're back, he can't help but cry into your chest sometimes. Everything is so tense nowadays, he hates it! How could you go and do something like that? Apologize immediately! Or at least hold him too? Doubt creeps in a lot, and your attitude isn't helping..

His mood swings are stronger. From sobbing uncontrollably into your clothes to being all smiles and radiating with joy the next just because you said something vaguely decent.

Aizetsu

The demotivation started to creep in the second you left. During the day, Aizetsu sits by the door, wanting to be the first one you properly greet. Sekido and Urogi usually bring you back and he'll be the one in your good graces without lifting a finger. That sounds nice..

But as the footsteps fade and the silence lingers, Aizetsu feels miserable the longer he waits... Hold on, silence?

Before he realizes what's happening, he's already dashing to where the familiar commotion is coming from. Dread sets in as his legs take him as fast as they can whilst being the slowest of the four. This doesn't feel like they're rushing over to you after a long day, it feels.. dangerous?

What did you get yourself into..? Why do you insist on going to places Aizetsu can't follow? Are you safe? He hates not knowing.

Usually you're the one who's fine. You deal with four demons almost daily! Please please please be okay. He can't fathom it if you were hurt.

When he gets there, the puzzle pieces fall into place and Aizetsu gets even more depressed, but at least you're not hurt. Well, not if he interferes. His movements are sluggish, a perpetual frown plastered on his face as he tries holding Sekido down.

Aizetsu wants to dissolve into the floor, and he does sometimes. Not wanting to fight Sekido off anymore, he slumps over.

This could've been a regular day where you came home.. Are you serious? Leaving? How pitiful could you be to actually think you could get away? Or was it that you wanted to play some sick joke on them? Well, it's not very funny... It's terrible actually.

Aizetsu stays silent on the way home, walking with a bit more energy knowing you're near despite his heart ache.

You can feel the harrowing disappointment radiating off of him the moment you all go back home.

He's tired, annoyed, and so unbelievably upset. Aizetsu grimaced when Urogi got near your scratches with his tongue, so he “politely” ushered him away.

Knowing a human's weak points is good in battle, but he started trying to learn how to heal them, specifically because he knew these types of things might happen.

As he cleans your scratches, he's actively scolding you for leaving in a cold emotionless tone. And by scolding, he's using manipulative language, trying to make you guilty for everything you did.

He barely has the energy to live, but now that he finally found his light in the darkness, you want to leave? Is it so wrong he wants to hold onto what makes him even a smidgen happier than usual? He reminds you that he'll wither away without you, but he's not really too keen on dying just yet.

When he tries to get back into a routine, he just can't. He knows why you left, but he doesn't want to hear it. Even if you're sweet to him or not, he'll hold you from behind when you rest.

Looking at you is too much, but being away from you is even worse. Aizetsu compromises this way, but gets quieter, occasionally sniffling when he hides his face behind you.

There's too much going on and he's so tired.. If it weren't for the others, he probably would've held you so tight for so long so that you both would perish together.

Maybe that’s why he's only allowed to hold you when you're asleep. Just please don't do that again.. He NEEDS you. Please, please, please.

Safe to say you gave them a scare. When they double down on the protectiveness, living is ten times more difficult for EVERYBODY. when you lose their trust, it's pretty difficult to gain it back, but not impossible!!

Sekido and Urogi will always assume the worst if you're gone for too long while Karaku and Aizetsu give you a little more freedom until the others drag them along into their worries.

#null rot #yandere demon slayer #yandere kny #yandere kimetsu no yaiba #Sekido #Karaku #Urogi #Aizetsu #cloaked cult member #not art #null brainwash #null gospel #IM NOT A WRITER!!!! JUST A REMINDER!!!!!!!!! JST A RAMBLER!!!!!!!!!!!!#i really couldn't think of anything drawing wise to go along with this.... but I really wanted to write for it even if I'm a bit amateur #Am I even doing this bullet thing right?? I'm not good at cohesive thoughts. but I try!! I hope I did this right..??#Also. Sekido honestly doesn't want to hurt you or even put his hands on you. he's just really scared you might something will happen to you #how the fuck is he going to live with himself if you somehow get eaten by another demon? or worse. used as bait from either demon or slayer #now that upper moon fucking four has a soft spot. its really selfish of you to run away..#don't you see how that can ruin everyone's lives including your own!? (manipulative)#why he gets more upset with any other type of convo at the end is bc it reminds him of how things were before. they were good.#but you had to ruin it didn't you? (manipulative ×2) and for sure for sure. if he holds your hand you're getting a bruise.#Karaku is hella chill bc he's wayyy too cocky that he can find you again. the little arrogance he has rearing its head again.#Hes not stupid. he knows you want to escape. but that means he has to whittle you down a little more. get you used to this. to them. to him #You can't escape. he won't let you. He belongs with you. so just try and get comfortable. yeah?#Urogi.. going through it. Hes like your ankle monitor. very fragile minded with his mood swings but extremely stubborn about letting you go #Hit him. pull at his hair. push him away. spit at him. hes sad for a while but bounces back. he always does! and he knows you will too!!#He just needs to wait.. even if it hurts his feelings sometimes. but never for long because you'll be back to loving him like before!#Aizetsu's stuck in a loop of angry -> sad until he ends up quietly crying because hes depressed you dont like them. eveything is pitiful.#he cant even move on bc youre his light. nothing will change that. even if you hurt him. all he can beg of you is to be kind to him. adjust #hes not the monsters you think he is. he can be sweet kind gentle. whatever you want.. just please.

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icewindandboringhorror · 23 days ago

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Pages from trying to keep a little sketchbook-scrapbook type thing going for two weeks lol. I gave myself specific rules in hopes they might all end up more cohesive/consistent seeming, but alas, scribbly chaos reigns, it seems

#sketchbook #scrapbook #Actually I feel like these are kind of incomprehensible in photo form like.. In person holding the book its easy to look at #but as images on this scale I feel like there's so much tiny little text and small scribles and stuff you'd have to 'right click > open #image in new browser tab > zoom in' just to actually really see the thing. which for 7 images is excessive lol.. so. probably not the best #medium for sharing really but. I suppose I thought they might look cooler lined up next to each other. The whole part of using a #limited color palette is so that maybe they kind of seem to have more consistent color schemes or something throughout. but I dont #know if they look all that 'related' or not. I think these types of challenges I have always sucked at because I am a being of clutter and #excess. I can't just do like one little simple nice looking design and have that Crisp Neat calligraphy with evenhanded perfect lines #and perfect symmetical composition and etc. etc. Like some poeple post very aesthetically clean and cohesive looking sketch #pages or something but I simply cannot hold back the brain impulse to add more. more. more. Fill every single blank space with color #or a little drawing or a sticker or something. I take away 500 things and there are still a million there. Even when I thik I'm being #'simplistic' I'm still usually being 2x more complicated and cluttered than the standard or whatever lol. I guess thats clear from my #outfits/costumes though too. Like whatever that saying is from that person about something like 'before you leave the house take off one #more accessory. you dont need it' for me is like.. 'before you leave the house. add 10 more accessories. and 6 more layers. and another'#AAANyway. I wonder if also maybe some people would try to plan theirs in a way to look good or something or like.. plot things on the page #before placing them. I did sometimes have a theme for a day kind of (like day 10 I ended up finding a few gold and green things and then #was like.. hey... what if I looked for a few other things and only used these colors today') but aside from that I was just slapping down #stickers randomly and working around them to fill the page. Maybe a lot of neat minimalistic asthetic design is about planning and #having a Vision set ahead of time. instead of just complete random whatever. doodling whilst watching youtube videos or eating lunch. It's #a miracle actually I've managed to not spill any food on the book the whole time. anyway.. I do wish the highlighter really showed up. the #scanner kind of makes the colors look VERY different to irl. But also it got much clearer images than just camera pictures of pages. alas..#..Still oddly enjoy the phrase 'Salisbury Steak gently kissed with industrial pollutants'#probably my favorite section of 'gluing random papers and things onto the page' lol #Also I wonder if it's super obvious that I literally never ever use references when I draw (save for the few freakish looking youtube #face sketches) since everyone is always in the same positions and looking very similar ghhb. This could have been a good opportunity to #work on not solely drawing from my mind and try to do more Dynamic Experimental scribbles. NO. Same exact eye for the 90th time #be upon ye. But I guess it was meant to be casual 'daily doodles'. True 'practice' would make it seem too effortful like a full project. hm #(lol the one decimated pencil in the set... never hand me a writing utensil. i will passively destroy it somehow. shaving the sides of a #pencil off with a knife or snapping a pen in half as a nervous fidget without even realizing i've done it. sorry to the drawing implements)

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puppppppppy · 6 months ago

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learning abt friendship decay and "not reaching out to your friends for months at a time unprompted is not neurotypical behaviour" has me feeling a certain way

#experiencing some BIG FEELINGS OVER THIS REVELATION #listen i have never ever been bothered abt not seeing someone in a while or making time to talk to them bc in my mind its like not thst muc #time has passed. i mean it with every fibre of my being that when im like 'oh its ok even though we havent talked in a while and have our #own things going on it doesnt mean we're not friends anymore since we left things on a good note 8 months ago' i sincerely believe that #and for the longest time i just thought everybody makes peace with it at some point and not automatically assuming the other person doesnt #wanna talk to me anymore or smth. my longest lasting friendships are with ppl who work the same way i just thouhght that was normal #whatever organ everybody has that makes them reach out to their friends and plan hang outs i probably dont have it #i was already hesitant to ask out Alex bc i spend almost every waking hour doing smth that isnt talking to ppl unless they happen to be in #the vicinity. and at first it was bc i planned on making sure i had everything set up so i dont get stressed out and do it one at a time #but then i find out theres a friendship decay mechanic? and after dating and marrying someone you lose -10 friendship points for every #day u dont talk to them?? actually ive probably been losing friendship points this whole time without knowing bc of this?????#and i notice a lot of my own habits are also reflected in how i play bc ive been avoiding getting close to pierre and marnie since its more #of a professional relationship. like i know theyre npcs but im approaching it the way i would in real life its fucking nuts #i think its a little relieving im playing /as/ a character than myself bc as im playing im just making up little interactions in my head #than approaching things the way i would myself so it takes a bit of the stress off trying to put myself in there as a spectator. but well #being in a relationship demands a certain amount of energy even more so when theyre things that already take up energy on its own #like making time to talk to your partner and make sure they know theyre loved. i dont always have energy to put all my mental focus into it #and this is true for real life so im not really bothered by not dating anyone. but when its a game and i want my character to be with someo #and i know its fully optional and i know i could just apply the same logic to this i dont /want/ to. sometimes i want to experience #the same things other people do at least to a certain degree without the same emotional andmental stakes #no offense krobus #yapping #stardew #stardew valley #puppy plays sdv #sdv #this game has me by the ankles man

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amyrosedaily · 4 months ago

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Day 29: Caught you!

PLEASE! Donate to save Muhammad Shehab's family! Main Post | GoFundMe

#This is honestly how I see them first meeting haha #Sonic is on Little Planet focused on stopping eggman when all of a sudden BAM lil hedgehog hugging him #amy rose #amy rose daily #sonic #sth #sonic fanart #please donate!#day 29 #sonic the hedgehog #classic sonic #classic amy #I dont see this as romantic #but i dont mind if people tag this as ship if they want #honetsly like I dont even know if I ever thought Amy genuinely had a crush on sonic #^^^IN MY OWN HEADCANNONS #I think I saw it more as like #she was so in love with the idea of love that she WANTED to have a crush #and her attachment to Sonic is what brought her friends like Tails and Knuckles #so by that point she was unintentionally using her crush on Sonic to keep her connection to her friends #since they really were more Sonic's friends than hers #in fact I think it kinda took years for her to realize that knuckles and Tails even saw her as a friend outside of Sonic #especially since the three of them would ditch her all the time as kids #and it seemed that anytime her and sonic disagreed Knuckles and Tails would take Sonics side since “Amy is crazy sometimes”#bascially I think Sonic and Amy's frienship is very complicated because actually BOTH of them were in the wrong #Amy didnt respect sonic's bloundaries #but sonci didnt respect Amy's wants or feelings #and when tehy were younger that feel into Knuckles and Tails also having less respect for Amy #at one point though - after Amy has already sworn off her crush on sonic and has worked to make up for how she used to treat him #she actually calls them out on how they disrespect her sometimes

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moomeecore · 1 year ago

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here's that essay i accidently hyped up (sorry) on how fionna & cake did a poor job of concluding betty & simons characters + story in the final 2 episodes. sorry it is so insanely long. i don't know what my deal is. sometimes a show just does such a bad job of handling your favorite characters that you have to write 19k+ words complaining about it, i guess. im linking it as a pdf bc i DO NOT want to have 2 copy & paste this all over to tumblr & i kinda don't think tumblr would be happy with me making a post that long.

#if it sucks uhm. be nice to me pls 👉👈#ik im very snarky & kinda harsh in this but like. i rlly dont usually share my thoughts on media like this much #im ok w hearing rebuttals btw. but also its not likley youll change my mind #im really happy other ppl enjoyed this ending (& also kinda jealous)#but i very definitely. dont like it #not just from a personal standpoint but in that #i just genuinely think the portrayal of simon & betty was done really poorly #things r bolded + theres random section titles that interupt the flow #bc even tho i wrote this much i do genuinely have reading comprehension issues #as in the actual definition of poor reading comprension. due to disability #not the tumblr thing where its for some reason used to mean ' bad at understanding media ' sometimes #oh yea also the font is big bc of this too #im nervou s abt this but too late now ig #fionna and cake spoilers #im not putting it in the tags its 4 the ppl who already know abt it #its emberassing that i wrote all this but i think its worse if i dont share it bc then i just. have it #mmmm..worst part is i dont even cover everything. i have MORE complaints #text

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crystallizsch · 11 months ago

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Hello! I would like to say that your art my favorite in the entire fandom, I don't know how to describe it but it just feels the best 💃 The way you draw the characters is very nice, Jamil is one of my favorites and you have his personality captured very nicely! Anyway, I hope you have a good day and I hope a lifetime supply of your favorite food drops from the sky for you 🤸‍♀️

AAHH THIS IS MAKING ME CRYYY ANON

i've never received a compliment about my art like this before so that's such an honor to hear 😭💕💕

THANK YOU SO MUCH I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST (*chucks this out here as another thanks*)

#this just really made me emotional and ridiculously happy hdhgfhgfjf #people complimenting my art is always the last thing i expect #which i dont mind because i throw my art out there preferring thoughts about its idea rather than its quality #but compliments are always such a jumpscare and they always feel good regardless 💕💕💕#so i really can't thank you enough anon 😭🫶😭🫶 😭🫶#i also sometimes fear that i make jamil ooc since im basically just headcannoning how he acts if he ever gets the feels(tm)#the most affection he shows in game i think is platonic and he BARELY even shows that #so i'm also so happy to hear you think i portray him well 💕#i'm putting up this ask on my wall #[—✦ chatting #-✧ my art #(💜) yuusha #(💜) scarashackle dish #-✦—]

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greasydumbfuck · 6 months ago

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thinking about frank and sex (in a sad way)

#marvel #frank castle #the punisher #not as in about sex with him but like how hes portrayed in relation to it in the comics if that makes sense #hes just always so deeply uninterested not just in the women but the act itself too like #so many times hes like. not pressured thats the wrong word but like i can think of at least two times i saw #where the women just kinda. walk themselves into his bed. and hes like 'eh idk about this' but then just kinda does it anyway #like i imagine the writers intended for this to be like a cool guy thing yk like ah he gets so much action and he DOESNT CARE cuz hes COOL #but ME personally i cant help but read it like. god idk i dont want to say him letting himself get used and using them in turn #theres this expression 'going through the motions' that kind of feels right here but idk how to explain it #hes just so weird about it. every time. in my mind i cant imagine him ever really wanting it very much #like maybe to feel good sometimes but its never. idk am i making sense am i just saying shit #is he gay asexual missing his dead wife or just so so fucking traumatized and dead on the inside that his body is just an object now #so many fun ways to interpret this #<guy who is not having fun interpreting this #wish i could just project my thoughts into your heads so youd see exactly what i mean cuz i dont feel im verbalizing this well enough #god take a shot every time i say 'like' or 'just'. youll be off your face from this post only #i may be making shit up tbh idk the thought struck me out of nowhere while i was looking at the ceiling

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javierduffy · 19 days ago

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ohh javieran … javieran post kieran’s death .., javier is a poor lonesome cowboy in america a long way from home with no more sweetheart to sit and talk with him ooohhh can anyone hear me ….

#someone on tiktok found poor lonesome cowboy in an old archival-esque book of cowboy and campfire songs and as soon as i saw this i gasped #ummm burst into tears actually ! thanks ! i’m so sad !#poor lonesome coyotito who parted from his city and who has no sweetheart to sit and talk with him ☹️#they make me miserable #i was just gonna put this in my drafts but i already have 15 drafts and i fear if i continue to put ideas in my drafts “for later’’ i will #never make another post again … so instead of setting myself up for disappointment i’m just gonna start posting like i do on twt #which is where i post every unfiltered thought i have :)#it’s MY blog and I get to make useless textposts constantly because i know im incapable of making any actual content atm #i’m hoping to draw something based off of this some day though :( i’m already having ideas #usually i sit in my mind palace and tinker with my au where kieran lives but unfortunately sometimes i must face reality and think about #javier’s loss and heartbreak in canon <//3 #i need to rewatch kieran’s death cutscene and see where javier is and what he does because i’ll have to write his initial #response to grief depending on that :/#whether he’s frozen in disbelief or actively involved in the retrieval of kieran’s body (if he’s even around at all)#javier isn’t really the type to scream and sob out in pain in the moment but i do think that when he finally had a moment to himself (likely #all the way in chapter six considering how chaotic everything gets and how he’s involved in like … everything following that) (which also re #minds me that he literally goes and gets tortured in guarma immediately after losing his lover. i have to kill myslf. anyway.)#i think it probably hits him like a train and he begins to hack and throw up like the weight of grief is literally crushing his organs from #the inside out 😕 javier escuella the lover that you are sets you up for such devastating heartbreak im so sorry #idek how much i want to tag this. maybe ill pull a moss and start using my own tags for characters #rdr2 #image #hero's talking to himself again #hero’s kieran #hero’s javier #hero’s javieran #just so i dont have to clog up tags 💛#i will tag #javieran #as normal though

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crowleyholmes · 1 year ago

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Bonus:

Don't mind me, I was just thinking about how Crowley must feel every time Aziraphale seems to put him in a box with the rest of hell. I know he tells him he's nice and kind and good and his friend just as many times or more, but still - after 6000 years of friendship and Doing The Right Thing together, it must have hurt when Aziraphale told him he's evil, and then even more when he told him you're the bad guys.

I just find it sooo interesting to look into every instance of Aziraphale talking about Crowley in either way. I want to take his thought process apart and study it under a microscope. We know that he knows that Crowley isn't evil, and we know that Crowley knows that he knows, and we (and Crowley) know that Aziraphale (up until a certain point) is just incredibly Heaven-brainwashed and it's hard for him to break out of that unless there's a situation at hand that requires Direct Action (see giving away the flaming sword to protect Adam and Eve, or protecting Job's children, or helping Elspeth to help Dalrymple, or stopping the Apocalypse).

How does he travel the world and the ages with Crowley and still somehow manage to call him evil with any level of seriousness? He is so convinced that all demons are evil, and at the same time he knows that Crowley's fall was unjust and a mistake and Crowley is NOT evil, but Crowley is a demon, but he's good and kind and nice and just, and Aziraphale sometimes struggles with that. Not consciously, I think, consciously he loves Crowley and trusts him and knows him well enough to see beyond angel/demon good/evil black and white thinking, but sometimes thoughts slip out of his mouth that are just. So far removed from what we know he knows.

He believes so strongly, in two things that could not be more mutually exclusive, and it's so fascinating. There's a lot of growth in that regard over the course of the series, we know that by the end of season 2 when he's talking to the Metatron, he is very clear in stating that his priority and his loyalty lie with Crowley, not with heaven. And I hold firm to my belief that he is going to Heaven because That's The Right Thing To Do, because he believes he can Make Things Better, for everybody, yes, but most importantly for Crowley. For the two of them!!

And YET. AND YET "you're the bad guys" somehow comes out of his mouth, when Crowley has Never really been a part of hell, and has always wanted to do the right thing for as long as Aziraphale has known him, and has been free of hell for Years now.

Still, Crowley is a Demon, and Demons Are Evil, angels and demons are hereditary enemies, right?

Except.... it's a little different when it's someone you know, isn't it?

#good omens #good omens 2 #meta #or rather just me rambling a lot really #I feel like i put all this into words So Badly i'm not sure my point comes across #tbh i dont know if there is a point #i'm just so FASCINATED WITH HIS MIND #I feel like I understand Crowley so so so well #his every move makes perfect sense to me always #but with Aziraphale #I feel like I understand him for the most part but then sometimes he has moments that make me go????#WHAT was his thought process here #i just want to KNOW #i want to have an alcoholic breakfast at the ritz with michael sheen and just talk about Aziraphale tbh #okay whoops more rambling in the tags #let's tag this as #mine

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devondespresso · 1 year ago

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writing my silly little fic and again im struck with how much opportunities they missed by pretending the s2 stancy breakup wasn't messy, specifically for Nancy's guilt about barb and forcing herself to grow up too fast

like s1 Nancy spends one night being a stupid teenager goofing off at her boyfriend's party and staying over to get spicy while Barb goes home. then she later realizes Barb disappeared and died that one night she was letting go and having fun. this is widely recognized trauma for her and informs a lot if not most of her actions through the rest of the show

in season 2 she's feeling the weight of it more around the first year anniversary. steve trys to help by taking her to a party to forget for a little while and 'be stupid teenagers' for a night. a perfectly set up parallel already

the way the show wants it to go, we get the bullshit argument, they fight, allegedly break up at some point, and nancy sleeps with Jonathan. later steve tells her to go with him and we're supposed to read it as Steve stepping back so jancy can happen. we're supposed to be seeing this as a happy ending.

but with the material we're given this would have been the perfect place for an emotional repeat of season 1 for nancy. she and steve go to the party and pretend to be stupid teenagers for the night. but oh no! nancy lets lose too much, lets herself relax and drink and dance, and the next day her boyfriend's pissed. hes saying she said things she never remembered saying and its hurt him and she doesn't know what to do. and kids around school are talking about them breaking up at the party, and that fits with Steve's anger she saw, so they must've broken up right? it sucks, even if she wasn't in love with him, that'd be the worst way to break up with someone (especially if she's confusing platonic and romantic feelings or convincing herself it has to be romantic when she really just values him as a friend)

and then she doesn't have time to work it out, she needs to go with Jonathan to avenge barbs 'disappearance' to give her family closure. She's got a lot of conspiracy shit to do and its stressful. so when murray starts going off about how she's not really in love with steve, how she actually likes Jonathan and he seems to like her back. they finished a lot of the hard work with the conspiracy stuff, she can let her guard down and have a quick good night.

then the next day is chaos. demodogs and labs and will being possessed. It a rough fucking day. Steve tells her to go with Jonathan while they get the mindflayer out of Will, civil like they're on good terms so she does (and thank god she did because that was rough and they needed all the help they could get)

and then everything's fine again, with the upside down. and it looks like she handled things better this time, was about to relax occasionally and still made it through.

except apparently she and steve didn't break up. he thought it was just a few fights, that they put their shit aside for the apocalypse and now they can work things out.

and it could ruin nancy. a year later and she's still hasn't learned her lesson, that letting her guard down hurts the people she cares about, that relaxing and having fun makes her lose people. its her fault for the messy breakup with Steve and its her fault that barb is gone. she's the reason she's lost friends close to her, 2 for 2, and now she only has Jonathan left (and what do you know, season 3 has her conflict with Jonathan and in season 4 she's not let anyone else get truly close to her and fred still dies)

you see what i mean?? by having conflict magical resolve itself in the background we loose so much powerful, painful character drama for her. our girl who thinks she has to keep the world around her up solely on her shoulders because she can't handle the loss of her best friend in season 1. Nancy who desperately wants to be normal and have people she loves but keeps losing them, through factors both in and out of her control, but feels like everything has to be her fault just because some things were.

and to be fair, that story is still present in the show. its there and definitely compelling, but it could've been even more so. i feel like if maybe there was less 'nancy has to be a strong independent girlboss' in there (abd it's definitely there, they want to make a point of making her a Strong Woman Character so bad) and she was allowed to have mistakes acknowledged by the narrative, this is the direction it would've gone. She could've been an excellent example of well written women who are strong and awesome through their own right instead of the narrative trying to make us like her

#nancy wheeler #stranger things meta #stranger things thoughts #platonic stancy #stranger things #platonic stancy because while this could definitely be used in a jancy breakup then stancy fic #my personal theory is that she thinks she should like him romantically because he sees her like that but she actually likes him as a friend #and the bullshit scene was just the worst way for her to say it because she waited so long and refused to when she was sober #also didn't tag anti-nancy because i don't think it is really? like its anti-canon-depiction-because-i-think-they-did-her-dirty #also this is kinda nancy pov so its not like she's actually at fault for everything but in her mind she blames herself anyway #so yea #the fic is my Steve Henderson AU btw for ppl who've never seen me before #stancys not the focus (its steve pov with the Hendersons being main characters) but i want to do a serious platonic stancy workthrough in i #so this is just my headcanons (technically canon compliant based on what we see on screen but not following the narrative direction y'know)#devon's steve henderson au #steve henderson au rambles #hoping praying to god this doesn't make people angry but if it does feel free to block me i don't mind and i really dont want to argue #no disc horse for me just silly little thoughts and headcanons thanks for understanding #devon thinks sometimes

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