#i dont really like harry potter but i just think this is funny

[crossnamara]

whos jkr? harry potter was written by starkid, neil cicierega, and XXXbloodyrists666XXX

[minophus]

i saw a white sisyphus earlier referenced from a hagrid pic so i made my own

[bronx-aro]

Had a dream where i got back in time in a separate reality during high school. I git to make friends with people i wanted to be friends with and people who i didn't get along with the first time but changed to the better in that timeline.

And part of me was glad i got to have that opportunity to do new things, and to help someone better themselves.

And then i git down the stairs and saw sitting at a table in the hall a group of all of my current friends playing a board game. Knowing that those people i love and was the one to, at least partially, bring together trough games had fpund themselves and became great friends.

And they looked at me and didn't know who i was. And i wanted to be woth them so bad it hurted. But they didn't know me. That bond was gone, bevause i took a different path in that timeline. And i wished so hard that it didn't happen. Because no matter the new people i befriended, they werent MINE like that group was. And i should have been with them; but i wasnt.

[sparrowlucero]

i enjoy ur bird abode thoughts! I was a genuine enjoyer of the show when it was airing, I’m no die hard fan though and love to see ppls personal takes on the overall story/plot. Im curious if you also would agree or have any thoughts on the impacts The Mouse’s cancellation had on the shows ability to be more than it was? srry im not super eloquent with my words, but basically ur response to that ask got me wondering if part of the reason the show like genuinely wasnt all that ground breaking or unique in the end plot wise (other than the villain faces consequences in the end ig) as far as YA/Teen animation goes, was because of The Mouse’s inability to let the writers flesh out the show before gutting it? i have a negative bias toward The Mouse franchise and obviously dont know anything about how writing a show under the eyes of a franchise that big would work, its just smth that rattles around in my head and wanna know what u think!

Well to an extent, but I think it's much more the effect the studio had on how the owl house started out as rather than it not getting a full season at the end - It didn't escape my noticed that the show was initially announced as being a "horror comedy" when it doesn't really seem like either, especially by the second season, and yeah, the original pitch bible is obviously aiming for that much more than the show proper is as it goes along (and is honestly seems quite a bit more funny, weird, and dark, with an overarching plotline about a giant bug being used to religiously suppress people, eda able to cure her curse by killing luz, and one of the major characters being a teen boy awoken from a sleeping curse who ends up being a weird little bigot because he's from the 13th century, among other things)

(side note, i just noticed they actually specifically describe the thing i assumed the show was gonna be about here. huh.) but ultimately the bulk of the show that was actually made seems very influenced by a writing team that was genuinely interested in making a tropey YA fantasy story rather than just being mandated to. I mean even in what aired you can see the show sort of settle in ways that feel less like studio interference and more like, you know, art students creating their ideal fantasy show, like how King is clearly Eda's roommate who's funny because he looks like and sounds like a little dog despite being an adult man at the beginning but by the end they've made him her adopted sad backstory son who's explicitly a child. While I think a third season would have made the show as it existed better, because they clearly didn't get to finish the plot they wanted to (frankly to the point where some major aspects of the show are a bit confusing, I'm still not sure what a grimwalker is), I don't really fault the show for that but also don't think that hypothetical season (which pretty clearly would have been mostly about the magic school teens going to normal school) would suddenly flip around into something that I personally found interesting and subversive. Nor should it, really; again, it being Queernorm Harry Potter thing is clearly the intended appeal of the show, it's not really a flaw but just not a genre I'm personally interested in when compared to what I initially expected the show to be.

HOWEVER I will say they robbed little weird girls of their representation and that can't be forgiven

[lunetoone]

dont ignore me

s: harry cant stop looking at cho, leading to you ignoring him for a period of days. he can't handle it so he decides to disperse the situation himself.

harry j potter x fem!reader

five days. five days you've neglected harry, five days youve neglected his needs for you and his desperate need of your attention. he tries so hard to talk to you before you leave potions class but you talk to pansy so lively without sparing him a glance.

the reasoning behind the avoidance was he couldn't keep his eyes off of cho five days prior. sure you two arent in a relationship but does that mean all the late nights hookups and secret kisses in between classes meant nothing to him?

you skipped dinner that night, eager to finish the book you've picked up a couple days back. the girls dorm was empty, setting your mind at ease, just the thought of the quiet book read is making you excited. although upon opening your dorm room you find yourself quite surprise, or interested.

harry james potter, the boy who lived, a powerful wizard on his knees staring up at you with glossy eyes. you fight back a smirk, "what are you doing doing here potter." you cross your arms trying your best to not jump and giggle at this sight.

"please, look at me in class" he grabs your hand and place your palm on his cheek, leaning on it "please, touch me like this when nobody is looking" the desperateness of his voice made you tingle. he brought your palm to his lips, kissing it while his eyes focused on your own pupils. "i miss you, stop ignoring me. I'll make it up to you"

you wanted to strip naked right then and there with the way hes looking at you. "why should i? go get cho to do these things to you" a tear ran down his cheeks and you felt yourself becoming more excited by the second. your palm now in-between his hands, hes holding it dear "i want you, please i dont need cho, just you." his begging so nicely how could you deny?

"show me how much you really want me then" with no hesitation he stands up and pull you in a kiss, hands having its own mind exploring your beautiful body.

you melt in the kiss, your hands on his chest gradually going lower. when your hands reach his lower abdomen his breath hitches and you smirk in the kiss. his hand now on your neck pulling you further in the kiss. you hands tease on his crotch, palming it harry lets out a high pitch moan. "shit y/n, its been five days i might explode just by your touch"

you laugh at his joke, he continues kissing you, his mouth now on your neck. your hands palm his clothed cock slowly, teasing it by stroking it up and down. his moans and pauses from kissing you indicates just how much hes been waiting on this. you decide to tease him further by kissing his neck, the beautiful moans he lets out was music to your ears. the teasing of his dick and the feeling of your warm tongue on his neck is sending waves of pleasure to harry.

you push him on your bed on get on top of him, grinding your clothed wet cunt on his own clothes private. his head now in the nook of your neck hand gripping your waist tightly. you let out a small moan in his ear and bite it playfully and harry just snapped.

"ah.. fuck y/n" he bites your neck and moans, body flinching and breaths faced. "oh my god harry did you just-" "please, im embarrassed as it is, don't point it out" you laugh to yourself and he sits up properly, pouting.

they way his hair clung to his forehead from sweat made you lick your lips. "ill make it up to you y/n.. just dont tell anybody about this" "oh.. i dont know, i think ron and hermione would love this story" you gasp in surprise when he grabs you by the waist to pin you down, body hovering over you. "you won't find it so funny when i fuck that attitude out of you"

"dont forget harry, we're just friends" "fuck that, tonight we're more than friends.. im going to-" his seducing words were cut off by giggles of girls outside the door, "just when it was getting good"

"harry??? how am i going to explain this?" "dont worry love, ive brought my invisibility cloak" he kisses your lips and puts on the cloak, just in time for the girls to come in. "oh y/n! there you are, im surprised you aren't with harry, he too wasn't at dinner. i hope you two still aren't fighting" hermione puts her books on the table, while looking at you concerning. you stare at the spot harry was on knowing he's still there "dont worry hermione, all is well" you wink to the blank wall and smile to yourself.

[abbystromboli]

hey! I've asked like 57 other HP fic writers to do this but none of them have done it... PLEZ DONT LET MEH DOWN I LOVED UR FIC ABOUT RON WEASLEY

so how do you think that Hogwarts bis would react to getting in... suggestive positions with you during a game of twister.

specifically I really wanna see the reactions of Draco, Harry, Ron, Theo, and Mattheo

ILYSM

awwweeee Ilysm! the Ron fic is my fav toooooo!!!!!!

How they would react to getting in suggestive poses with you in Twister.

Draco Malfoy.

He was doing amazing at the game, taking out his competition with a few well-aimed kicks, when he heard the fateful words.

"left hand on red"

the only red available is one that props you over him, unfortunately hanging your tits in his face.

he's dumbfounded as you prop yourself there,

He gets so distracted, trying not to lose the whole game and his dignity

he goes tumbling down, and starts yelling about how you interfered and should be eliminated

when Blaise asks how you interfered Draco goes red in the face.

he knows he can't admit that he got a boner mid game.

Harry Potter

Harry was trying his hardest not to fall down laughing at some dumb joke that Ron had made,

”left foot on blue”

you accidentally make eye contact with the already reddened face of the chosen one, as you each realized what that position entails.

You prop yourself up into a position that could only be described as straddling him,

giving yourself a cramp as you try with all your might to hover over him instead of making contact with his groin.

after a few seconds he’ll whisper into your ear.

”I swear to Godrick, I’ll do all of your homework for a week, just. Give. Up.”

ya know... its pretty easy to get a sex slave outta this guy when he starts bargaining like that

Ron Weasley

I see this going one way and one way only.

This time, Ron (just his luck) is the one who gets the unlucky positioning

He has to prop himself In a way that he’s essentially pinning you down

his face goes red as you smirk at him over your shoulder and lightly push your ass up higher to meet his hard on.

he’d try to make himself lose in a classy way,

but he’d end up falling down onto you,

making a scene for all the gryffindors to gawk and tease about for the next few years.

Theodore Nott

My boy Theo is THE DEFINITION of sleek on the streets but a freak in the sheets

The game is going great, competition is dropping like flies, some people are even cheating in order to win.

"right foot on yellow"

You're pinned in a missionary position with Theo (while, of course, Dracos squirming around in the background, being a little bitch and tripping people)

He smiles down at you, this hoe is more comfortable with public spooning than you are, by a long run.

He might whisper sweet nothings in your ear, just to mess up your focus.

"why so tense amore mio?"

That's it. That's the end, game over (for you, at least. He goes on and wins the whole thing, and then makes an apology to you by the only way that seems to get through your thick little skull... fucking)

Mattheo Riddle

If Draco is cheating his way through the game, then I don't even know how to describe what Matthew is doing.

Mattheo should've lost in the first minute of the game.

should've, but luckily for him, his threats tend to come out pretty damn intimidating.

When you get stuck a position where your both lewdly intertwined, of course he tries the same thing with you.

"Give up, I know a wide array of jinxes that'd make your perky little ass shrivel."

Of course, you know he'd never do anything like that to you, so you can't help but giggle

Unfortunately for you, Mattheo doesn't find it funny.

He causes both of you to fall down and lose.

Probably grabs you by the wrist, takes you to his dorm, and makes good on his promise to make your ass shrivel... IN A WAY OTHER THAN JINXES

HOPE YOU LIKED THIS POOKIE! my inboxes are open and if you request something I will 100% write it bc it sparks joy :} ILY GUYS

[elvendorx]

hiii this is the w*lfstar anon from before and i just re-read the harry potter prequel and oh my god. i reiterate... i really dont understand how anyone could be a w*lfstar shipper when we have canonical moments of james and sirius going out on the bike and being assholes .... the way they play off each other.... the chemistry ... some quotes i thought youd appreciate:

'“Get off the bike!” he bellowed at the smirking youths, who sat basking in the flashing blue light as though enjoying it' ... james and sirius looking for trouble being cocky and arrogant when they get caught bc theyre sooo confident they can get out of this situation + they both think its funny THEY ENJOY BASKING IN THE BLUE LIGHT!!!!

sirius immediately being an asshole when the guy asks for names and starts just??? listing random fucking names and james playing off it?? its so funny theyre so horrible together

'They were suddenly as alert as gundogs ... Then, with identical fluid movements, they reached into their back pockets.' IDENTICAL FLUID MOVEMENTS!!!!!! MOVING IN TANDEM!! this reminds me of that parallel you once made of james and sirius standing up and remus and peter staying sitting down.

'James and Sirius zoomed away into the night sky, their tail light twinkling behind them like a vanishing ruby' sorry isnt that like immediately more romantic than 100% of the w*lfstar hcs on here

so in conclusion i again cant fathom how w*lfstar is even a thing when we get CANONICAL moments like this between james and sirius

they're so UNINTENTIONALLY ROMANTIC they're actual soulmates and james is a full-on background character. it makes me ILL.

"the boy who was riding pillion was sure to be flung under his wheels" - sirius likes riding the bike with james best because he knows james can handle the sharp turns because of his broom skills <333

yesssss the fluid movement and moving in sync makes me feral. they do it in snape's worst memory as well

i will also NEVER get over the matching t-shirts - did they make them themselves??? do they buzz each other on the mirror like "u wearing the phoenix shirt? good me too see u soon love u bye"

i also think that “Names?” repeated the long-haired driver. “Er – well, let’s see. There’s Wilberforce… Bathsheba… Elvendork…” is such a good example of sirius' sense of humour. he's a silly boy at heart

i just love them - "vanishing ruby" should be their poetic ship name

[rewritingcanon]

Do you have any thoughts on scorbus kids king (beyond Albus insisting that they’re all named after stars and constellations and the likes) because in the same way that they’d get married at like 18-19 a la ‘traditional’ wizards i think they’d be the couple to turn up to christmas one year with a baby without telling anyone (nobody knows how they got the baby and theyre not saying shit) and boom. The first wotter-malfoy grandchild

oooooh! hmm! i actually go back and forth on scorbus children a lot. like i dont have set ocs or anything for them. i can see them with or without kids. i can see them with many or just one. i can see them as boy dads and girl dads. i can see them as all adopted or as donor-conceived. likeeeee i can see everything tbh. but i can tell you what i’m usually set towards:

i reckon one of their babies (i’m thinking the second one if they ever get so far) is sooooo weasley-coded. they don’t act like scorpius or albus but as their fucking grandma ginny. like they may not have the token red hair at all but they certainly act like one. and they’re a stereotypical gryffindor. (first gryffindor malfoy perchance)

i’m also thinking they need to have a diva daughter. like a mini narcissa/lucius just minus the moral abhorrence (they may or may not have a consumerism problem though)

one of the babies has to have the blond malfoy hair. preferably the eldest. idc if that makes me a stickler for tradition.

also i think they would pull the “my grandad is harry potter” “did you know i’m the chosen one’s grandkid?” “oh yeah just going to my pop’s place tonight… did i mention he’s harry potter?” ALL THE TIME 💀 like they would nottttt understand albus’ angst about it (at first) because they won’t experience the same type of pressure as being harry potter’s child.

i think it would be sooo funny if they had kids who are really popular in school and are super charming and good-looking and athletic and just very cool and easily liked. and meanwhile they’re dads are the biggest fucking socially inept losers.

if i was nice i’d give scorpius a bookworm kid. but i don’t think that would happen 😭 he’s fr cursed to be the only nerd there.

now here are some parent!scorbus hcs:

the whole misunderstanding angst between them is scorpius wants to rant to his child about the ottoman empire’s invention of major medical instruments and the child just wants to go play footy with da boys 💔

you best believe albus suffers the potter curse of just never understanding his child 😭 he would totally argue with them all the time. not to the point where they run away though.

i think albus would feel the desire to be a father more than scorpius would initially, but albus would be the strict parent. probably because he did shit like running away and deleting his family from the timeline so he doesn’t want that to happen again yk. how can you blame him

scorpius is the dad that spoils his kids rotten. like he’s NEVER mad. he’s always telling them how proud he is of them and how lovely and cool they are and he’s just constantly inflating their heads to the sizes of large balloons. he’s the dad they go to when they want to ask for something because he’ll normally give it to them. he’d rather they be brats then be unconfident and hate themselves.

also scorpius would get crazy separation anxiety. like it doesnt matter if his kid is 25 that’s his baby and they need to be in arms reach at all times

albus can be the type to freak out at his kids ngl 😭 tbf i dont think he’d do it without reason but he will definitely make them cryyyy and run to their rooms. yk when one of ur parents yells at you when ur a kid and u cry angry tears and can’t verbalise your feelings because you’re tiny and dont know the right words yet. and then you look to your other parent for help and they’re just standing at the side like “🧍‍♂️” yeah the one just standing there is scorpius 💀 no way he’s risking getting clocked too.

scorpius might not voice it in the moment but he’s very good at damage control and managing his family who probably runs quite high on emotions. also he’ll sneak his kids sweets to cheer them up even if they deserved to get yelled at lol

albus is the dad that cleans and washes and styles his daughters’ hair 😭 and he will do it aggressively too like he ties the cleanest but tightest braids and plaits and ponytails you best believe. also he doesn’t play around when his kids come home from primary school with a head lice notification slip. best believe he’s going to scrape through everything.

the kids definitely think scorbus are way too lovey-dovey with each other. cringiest parents ever.

albus is definitely the “how dare you talk to your father like that” kind of guy about scorpius.

albus would pack the most delectable lunch boxes ever and scorpius would write the sweetest daily notes for their kids and put them in the lunchboxes to cheer them

they do not play about bullying whatsoever. someone is getting right hooked if anyone dares with their kid. not hexed, right hooked

albus sobbed when he had to say goodbye to his first child for hogwarts. like he ugly cried right in the middle of the platform. almost collapsed.

scorpius is bombarding their kid with letters. like he’s writing them four times a day to ask how things are and how theyre finding classes and if their classmates are good to them?? and has to be asked to stop 😭

yk how harry was gassing tf out of hogwarts to albus only for it to be shit? just know albus is telling the biggest horror stories about the school to their kid only for them to go there and for it to be fine. this is the visual vibe btw:

albus’ favourite kid is definitely the one who is most like scorpius in some way. but he will deny it

scorpius still tucks them in every night no matter if they’re adults

albus is the type to bitch out alllll of his kids’ friends. “i don’t like [insert friend]” “why” “they seem very…. fake.” “dad you literally have zero friends besides papa why are you speaking rn”

scorpius loves hosting his kids’ birthday parties (bonus if he can make it extravagant) and albus hates it (he dislikes every other child except his own)

albus the type of dad to get the malfoy white streak and a beer belly and blame it on the stress of being a father (he loves his kid(s) heaps, just to be clear).

scorpius would tell his kids when they fell down and scraped themselves that his kiss could make it better. and when he kissed their bruise or cut he’d do a tiny healing spell and fix it so for yearssss these scorbus kids thought their dad was had super magical kisses (yk damn well albus took advantage of that excuse 😭)

if they adopted a kid of another race to them, scorpius is going leaps and bounds to understand his baby’s culture and raise him accordingly so they don’t feel too disconnected (albus will do so too but scorpius would be such an expert at it because he’s a research freak).

i think scorbus would generally follow traditional wizard norms but their kids wouldn’t. the kids are living in the house until they are 35 or something. reason is because their standard of living at home is amazing. albus cooks the best food. they get spoilt rotten by scorpius. they have the combined fortune of two of the richest wizard families… yeah life is good

i shall stop it there but lmk if you want me to yap more because i havent even started on aunt lily and uncle james or their crazy grandparents 😭

[daisychains111]

incorrect chb camper quotes but it's actually just my sister's quotebook from Twitter

Disclaimer: This post is gonna be LONG AF

Percy: "Ahh, die quieter"

Clarisse to Silena: "Do I look majestic?"

Will: "I live in America. Cultures?... casserole"

Nico: "At-home lobotomy"

Baby Nico to Clarisse: "You look like Harry Potter, You just need a scar black hair, different clothes, and to be a boy. "

Annabeth:"I don't know if I have enough sanity for 2 Holy books"

Leo: "I've seen titties before....not really in person, but yk"

Annabeth: "Do you have ears?"

Jason: "I kinda wanna work at Taco Bell"

Piper: "I've never been passive-aggressive in my life"

Will to Apollo: "There's no batteries in my butt Dad I'm not a robot"

Clarisse: "I'm not upset I don't hold grudges"

Ares to Clarisse: "I don't like your clothes it forces me to look at you"

Frank to Leo: "It's not 'drip' it's stupid"

Travis to the whole Hermes Cabin: "I'm the Rizzington bear... like Paddington bear but Rizz" (after his 1st date with Katie)

Nico: "I love Olive Garden, I wish Italians were real"

Rachel: "Come on, you guys stop trying to cockblock the view"

Katie: "If people can smoke weed in the middle of the day, then I can drink chamomile tea"

Rachel: "You don't want to piss me off I'm witewally a werewolf"

Piper about Jason: "All my friends are boys, and one just died... he would have made a great bridesmaid"

Frank: "I was doing a silly but the funny didn’t land"

Jason: "Why am I white"

Rachel: "I am not a whore, I am a celibate queen!"

Drew: "It's not the fashion statement that you think it is"

Nico about the Ares Cabin: "They're gonna call you a slur, but they're gonna be really nice about it"

Piper to Annabeth: "If we both think it, it's not bitchy"

Grover: "I'm just gonna write a paragraph or two about global warming"

Annabeth"I have like a 7th-grade reading level!!! (this is impressive when you're dyslexic)

Jason: "Dude I love yoga"

Will: "They say that Utah is the promise land"

Kayla: *explains what a text-fic is to grandparents (Apollo)*

Clarisse: "Put that on your Twitter!" *points knife at me*

Travis: "Do you eat?"

Katie: "...um yes?"

Travis: "Oh, I mean do you want to eat." (when he asked Katie out the first time)

Hazel: "That's not gonna change my heart. That's just gonna make me cry!"

Alabaster: "I wanna find someone somewhere to impregnate and then steal the baby......Where's your Twitter, that was kinda funny"

Percy about Leo: "I would spoon that man so hard"

Frank: "The closer I get to nature, the closer I get to being a werewolf"

Apollo: "I feel like Jaba the Hut"

Rachel: "It's because you ate girl dinner"

Apollo (same convo^)"I fell asleep, and I woke up, and I ate a girl dinner, and I didn't feel that good"

Percy: Don't mind me just cleaning the ocean" *hand angrily on hip*

Will to the Stolls: "Although my bellybutton was once my mouth I don't want soda in it!!"

Connor: "Look at how majestic I am"

Clarisse: *gasps* *throws uno cards* "This is communism at its finest, and I hate your life." *Is losing* "All I'm doing is humoring you now. There is no reason for me to play anymore." *throws cards* *again*

Nico: *passes out*

Will: "We need to take you to the doctor like right now."

Nico: "No fireworks are more important than my health"

Leo about Percy: "That's a pretty boy right there... if we were in prison, it's over."

Kayla when Will came out to her: "Slay motherfucker"

Annabeth: "I hope to not run over any old ladies...old men are fair game tho."

Percy: "Main characters get bullied, Jesus....yep!"

Leo: "What if I was an astronaut!!!!"

Travis: "Banana, Banana, Meatball"

Clarisse: "I am going to break your toe shut the hell up"

Katie to Connor: "I hope you get bullied in high school."

Clarisse about Leo: "This guy's a fuckin goober"

Clarisse: "What did you do to your sweatshirt? Did you get hungry?"-Grover: *sighs*

Nyssa (Hephaestus kid) to Leo: "Dont hurt me. I'm Batman!.... You better not tweet that"

Kayla to Apollo: "It's called multi-tasking Apollo! "

Apollo: "It's mother to you"

Clarisse: "I could fight God and win"

Percy: "So you wanna fight rn"

Clarisse: "No, I'm good"

Jason; "You look gang"

Leo: "What? I look gay!?!?!"

Jason: "You look straight, but nice"

Leo: "Oh... thanks!"

Apollo to Rachel"Lie, deny, cry, and for good measure be a raging slut."

Silena: "There's all kinds of nature out here"

Katie: "Live, laugh, love, low iron"

Annabeth to Piper: "Keep backing up...Cuz you have a fear of commitment

Lou Ellen to Katie: "Does your knee affect your shoe size... or are your feet just that small??"

Travis: "The amount of testosterone in me, peanuts are allergic to me!"

Leo: "I'm cracked up on feeling sexy"

Connor to the whole Hermes Cabin: "The "10" of us? our parents sp*rm pets"

Apollo about Athena: "OH gods, a single mom"

Apollo about Kayla's dad: "I cheated on myself with a man"

Malcolm about Athena: "She's a mom boogie woogie woogie"

Nico: "I cried at Chick-fil-A the other day"

Nico: "Live, laugh, lobotomy."

Drew about Thalia: "She has no friends and a dead brother."

Katie: "I wrote fanfiction on my i-pod touch"

Lacy to Leo: "Was it a tech? or was it a human?"

Will: "Live, laugh, love, tampons"

Kayla: "Die, cry, hate, condoms"

Aphrodite to Clarisse: "Do you like being a girl? You just always wear pants"

Percy: "Chill I know how to make conversations I have Rizz"

Will: "What! no! cow!"

Frank: "Fvcking knock it off seriously you guys are acting like children!!"

Travis to Lou Ellen: "Yesss pussy-pop you slayed"

Ashlyn (Hermes kid): "Chick-fil-A is mid, Taco bell is where it's at"

Percy during tlt: "You couldn't even buy a gumball with that shit (drachmas)"

Percy (same convo ^): "A quarter? You could buy a gumball with that shit"

Nico: "Your soul and your money!"

Tyson: "You've seen fishes, fishes move fast"

Leo to Frank: "What the fvck is a kilometer"

Leo making fun of Frank: "Mua ha ha ha I'm Canadian"

Percy: "Jesus didn't give up his life he gave up his weekend"

*as seen at 2am in the Apollo Cabin*

Gracie: "You're discriminating against me"

April (the token straight): "It's cuz she's gay"

Will: "We're all gay."

Nico: You don't have any slurs about you."

Leo: "No because I'm perfect"

this was fun to make lol....there will probably be a part 2 but like far in the future. if you made it this far I love you....also if you don't recognize names it's bc I deep-dived Wiki to find canon names for each cabin.

If y'all want one-shots based on these TELL ME I NEED STUFF TO WRITE ABOUT

[musicoftheheart]

there's a LOT of info about the marauders in canon actually. you just don't know how to read apparently. not surprising, since you're fucking stupid enough to think james would date a disgusting death eater

oh my god it keeps going 😂😂

i sometimes wonder what these sort of people think fandom is, because we're literally just playing with dolls. sometimes we make them fight, sometimes we make them kiss, sometimes we put them in a coffee shop. if you dont like what i (or others) do with my dolls, then go play with your own. it really isnt hard

if you like canon that badly, go read the harry potter books again. there is (as far as i know) no entirely 100% canon-compliant fic out there that only uses canon information and nothing else. so, if thats what youre looking for, youre looking in the wrong place 😂

(also, im half convinced this is the same anon as the first, which is really funny to me because anons dont get notified when their ask is answered, which means they specifically came back to check my response 😂)

[massiveladycat]

can i please say just how creepy t*marry is EVEN when they don't adjust their age. 1. illegal so illegal it's not even funny 2. both have attempted to kill each other 3. even if both of those facts (above) didn't exist, it'd be abusive and toxic because it's literally the young version of voldemort 4. im all for enemies to lovers... but wtf do you think youre doing with this ship??? this isnt enemies to lovers its murderer x near-victim??? then again im okay with it if they like make harry born in tom's time (gets rid of the age issue, but still toxic imo) or whatevr just i don't personally ship it. if you do then i don't really mind at all DISCLAIMER: not a hate post, just wanted to post about something harry potter like and i've seen t*marry increasing while scrolling tumblr for tom riddle headcanons and unfortunately i saw a LOT of shit that did not adjust harry's age or their behavior to each other which if you made those you terrify me EDIT #1: apparently people think i'm trying to say i ship t*marry.. no i DONT!!! i HATE IT!!! i would not touch t*marry with a ten foot pole!! but please dont let this post become apart of the harry potter shipping wars keep me out of that shit bro 😭😭😭. "i dont really mind" means okay sure ill think youre a little weird 4 that ngl but im not finna say that to you and i'm going to be fine with it if you just got rid of a lot of the issues (massive age gap, multiple attempts to kill each other, turning murderer x near-victim to enemies to lover) EDIT #2: changed "how creepy t*marry is when" to "how creepy tomarry is EVEN when" because that might've made me sound like i would still like it if they ONLY fixed the age gap!! DISCLAIMER #2: friendly reminder this post was just made for fun and to see if any people agreed with me, if you like t*marry then okay ignore this post you don't have to read it or reblog it EDIT #3: took advice from shamelessnerdtheorist and censored t*marry in both tags and post

[heavilycaffeinatedsblog]

Okay LOVE LOVE LOVE Silver Bells. Thank you for making this Christmas so iconic with your fic and giving the fandom something to look forward to everyday💝 Literally has been such a highlight and I look forward to every chapter!

Anyways if you need any more inspiration or christmasy ideas I tried to think long and hard about ideas to give you, that were unique in some way. Think it's an okay list (some are basic but iconic so wanted to highlight and encourage 😂). If I can think of any more will let you know, but I hope any of these help!

>Christmas carols - I don't know how Americans do it but where I live adults and children (whoever knows how to play an instrument goes around usually violins / small portable cello? ) go caroling and we invite them inside and all the adults (carolers and the household) take a shot of vodka "to keep warm"  and then go off to the next house where they sing and are given more shots 

> I'm not religious myself but my parents are and we go to church and watch children put on a play and or sing carols. 

>Mistletoe kisses😌

> Something just feels more christmasy is just being more intentional with small acts of kindess

>Doing a fancy or silly photoshoot and then printing them out as christmas cards and sending them out to people - Lance may or may not tell Keith what the photos are for as like a funny suprise when Lance gift him and his friends their christmas cards or they can be more intentional and biker about the design choice on the card. 

>Along with Christmas cards, theres also christmas notes so just letters of gratitude to people. I've heard of people making then and tying them to a balloon too or burning them. 

>Building and decorating a gingerbread house. Me and my sisters usually take a side of the house to work on so each side looks different. There's a family I know who have like a competition where they put out graham crackers, chex mix, pretzels, marshmellow fluff, frosting, and a bunch of candies, etc  and you can either make a house or construct whatever they want. It could be a house, a train, fire truck, someone did like a harry potter quidditch stadium thing.

>Neighborhoods around me usually have a santa on a firstruck ride around with their sirens on and give out candy canes to people. 

>Christmas light walk/drive through, or going to those neighborhoods that go all out and even put on a lights show to music.

>Something more chill like making a holiday playlist, discovering new holiday songs, sometimes we dont put in christmas music but ones that we associate with the holidays. My sister and I share a spotify and she stubbornly puts "night changes" by One direction in my christmas playlist. 

>Reading christmas stories to children. 

>Christmas parades, tree lighting events, going bar hopping and trying their christmas drinks and shots. I don't drink alcohol anymore but still go out with friends and a lot of places make mocktails or make really good non-alcoholic drinks as well. 

>I think a lot of times "christmas time" traditions happen randomly with just things that you associate with the holiday time. Like me and my friend would come together and pick a random genre and read books from that genre during the holidays and that's become somewhat of a holiday tradition now. Maybe Lance can help Keith establish hos own little traditions like that? Idk how or if itll read well but just an idea to throw out there, maybe inspire you in someway. 

>Omg sleigh rides! I would die reading a chapter on them going on a horse carriage sleigh ride. But since they're romantic maybe have him invite everyone and then have no one else show up. Though I think they can be a bit expensive, at least in the city... idk about farms i think....maybe like it can be a whim of a moment thing where the person running it is having a slow night and just tells them to hop in or give them a discount. Also my city banned the horse carriage rides not too long ago, I think because of animal safty concerns 😔 which there's a bunch of discord about in general but it still it would be such a cute idea 🥺 

>Since they work at a toy store maybe have Keith pick out toys that he wanted as a kid to heal his inner child and then donate them. (maybe they could be snowed in or the lights stop working and have to close up and wait for someone to fix it something in the meantime)

>They go to one of those pop up ice rinks with christmas music blaring about near or around a christkindlmarket (usually free if you bring your own skates so maybe Lance gives Keith a pair from his siblings) and Lance teaches Keith how to ice skate or has him hold on to one of those penguine or dinasour helper things. 

>Sometimes there's street preformers around singing or playing christmas songs. Could help bring out a nice romantic atmosphere for a scene 😌

>Also something to note about Hallmark movies- though thry are still cheesy af they arent what they used to be and this post captured it well: https://www.tumblr.com/unearthedivory/769098615859855360?source=share

Sending you all the health, happiness, and positive vibes! ✨️

Cute cute cute!!!! Love it!!

[httpiastri]

also what house do you think paul’s in? idk why but i always thought he’d be a slytherin, i feel like he just gives slytherin

sorry for spamming, i really love harry potter too hehe - 🥟

(okay sorry im gonna respond to you asks all in one because i wanna save the others in my ask to write abt….. 🤭)

hello hello love! i've been pretty good actually (a bit up and down but mostly good), just very very busy :(( but busy with stuff i like so its okay!! how have you been? and of course i remember you darling!!! 🥹

goddddddd i love the thought of slytherin paul x hufflepuff reader!! yes yes yes!! him being a bit cold and so on but the reader being the bubbliest little thing ever… everyone finding paul scary or intimidating but completely adoring yn and going like "?? how do they work out??" but they fit so well!! she pulls him out of his comfort zone and he makes her chill a bit…. and whenever she's all bubbly and energetic, he pretends to be annoyed by it but in reality, he finds her so cute 🥰

anddddddd aaaaaaa the thought of the two of them alone at hogwarts during the winter, and him being extra open and cuddly because there aren't as many people around so he doesn't have to keep up his tougher act….

quidditch! yes yes yes!!!! no matter the position he has, the reader will be so 😍 anytime she sees him in his quidditch outfit because he's just the perfect guy. and if she too is a player, she will be so distracted during the games because he looks far too good, and then she will remember that he's her opponent and just go ahead and crush him 🤭 but god there will definitely be a ton of teasing and shoving and taunting during the games, whenever they're close by… or if there's a pause due to an injury etc, they will be just sitting on their brooms in the air next to each other, chatting and chilling while everyone else goes "!! you're opponents rn, goddamn it!!!" 😭

and ofc they're helping each other practice even tho they're on different teams… and if they have a match against each other, then the loser would be so happy for the other one while the winner really just wants to comfort the other one :(( but if one of them wins the finals but against another house……. 🥰🥰

hmmmm i actually dont know which house i would put him in? i think that if i write, i might put him in different ones each time lol! because i see him as a good slytherin as you said; very driven, ambitious, perfectionistic, ruthless, and so on. but he also works as a gryffindor; passionate, blunt, idealistic, stubborn, etc. but also as a hufflepuff, because we all know how like silly, funny, genuine and good-hearted he can be. but i also kinda wanna see him in ravenclaw bcs blue is definitely his color (wanna write abt his light blue eyes matching with the scarf around his neck- oh lord) 🥹

and bb really dont apologize!! i loved loved loved reading your thoughts!!! thank you very much for the inspo 🥰 hope you have a lovely week!! 💗

[mxnkeydo]

convince me to read kotlc

anyone can reblog and help

OH MY GODS MY TIME HAS COME

okay so the mc sophie foster is the best most badass person ever

if you read kotlc you'll get to fangirl over every sokeefe moment ever and cheer them on because SOKEEFE FOR THE WIN and whenever keefe winks at her or flirts with her its just SJSHJS-

okay and the LOVE TRIANGLE???? stop its so good like at first fitz may seem cool but it gets super interesting

also sophie's best friend biana is SUCH A FREAKING GIRLBOSS you're gonna love her she's so sassy i lover her so muchh

also you get to witness the petty little fights between keefe and tam and its hilarious bc tam is kinda emo BUT HES SO SARCASTIC

and so sophie moves to the lost cities right and no one knows what harry potter is and stuff like that so its pretty funny when she mentions human stuff except no one knows what the hell she's talking about

omg and sophie is the mc but SHE IS NOT THE ONLY LIKEABLE FEMALE CHARACTER and all the characters are so unique you are bound to love them and shannon messenger gives each character sm depth so they rlly have their own personalities

also PLOT TWISTS AT EVERY TURN shannon fr knows what she's doing like every time you think you know what's going on well NEWSFLASH YOU REALLY FUCKING DONT but its so good bc it always keeps you on your toes

oh and you get to read the fitz + chandelier stuff MUAHHAHAH-

and and and if you read it you get to fangirl (and shit-talk) with the rest of us so YES HIGHLY RECOMMEND

mutuals anything to add?

[trafficbutterfly]

I then drew these three goons, mostly hitch and sunny, and I feel like sunny would definitely be in robotics class JUST to show off her tinkering skills and hitch would be a class president alongside with sprout being that one kid who's like, 'my mom is the principal so if you dont want to be told on then youll follow MY rules' type of kid which is hilarious when you think about it. I only colored in Hitch and Sunny as they're the main focus but I though it was really funny to add in some harry potter reference in there.

[st4rboy-p]

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Halloo!!! I probably won't post much but who knows :>

(things in this colour mean i really like it(unless i forget to continue doing thag halfway through))

☆about me☆

I'm Oliver :p

(trying to think of things to say about myself is tricky what the flip)

I'm a 500 year old vampire *not clickbait* joking I'm a 16 year old boy from england RAHHH

i dont really know much about myself everythings all too confusing 💔

♡things i like♡

I have a LOT of interests and they are always changing so I will try my best to keep this list short...

•i LOVE anime omg if you watch anime/read manga me by friend PLEASE

~some of my favs are jjba, kny, one piece, aot, deathnote uhhh im trying to think EVANGELION omg and jjk AND IF YOU HAVE WATCHED ASOBI ASOBASE MARRY ME its so funny but no one I know has watched it 💔 wait sorry im coming back to this after i wrote some other bits BUT ATLA OMG i love atla... ok back again I FORGOT BERSERK (manga not anime)

•i love music!!! i also have the best music taste in the world 😝

~if you like malice mizer marry me. also love lana del rey, jeff buckley, radiohead, buck-tick, kamijo, lowkey love musicals, adrianne lenker omg she makes me cry, mitski, fiona apple I NEED TO STOP I COULD GO ON FOREVER

•sinjin drowning deserves their own category THEY ARE SO FUNNY

•HARRY POTTER (not supporting j.k!!!) omg or basically anything whimsical and magical i wanna be a wizard so bad ☹️ omg that time when dark fantasy was trending on tiktok was like my fav thing ever I WANTED TO BE A BANISHED KNIGHT SO BAD GIVE IT TO MEEEE if i was rich i would so buy knights armour and go to a renne fair (is that how its spelt??)

•im probably forgetting stuff but feel free to yap to me about your interests too! i love listening to other peoples interests :)))

holy im yapping

•I KNEW I FORGOT SOMETHING sorry im back BUT I LIKE GAMING!!!

~genshin (i shower i promise) and roblox are my top 2 games but i play a bunch more!!! if its free im sure i will play it 😝

•ok hi back again I ALSO LIKE TO DRAW!!! im not very good at it but i find it fun!!!!!

☽things i dont like☽

•DONT interact with me if ur an awful person please :3

this includes things like racists, homophobes, etc etc

also if ur just gonna be mean ples dont i will probably cry 💔

✦the vibe i bring to the function✦

(picture dump)

ok not really a dump im not allowed anymore pictures

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OMG I CANT PUT ANYMORE DIVIDER THINGIES thats sad ANYWAYS PLEASE BE MY FRIEND!!!

thank if you listened to my yap!!

oh i can add a song thats cool

THIS IS THE BEST SONG EVER BTW

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