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Truly
notes: geto x f!reader, possible sukuna x f!reader ;college au!!!! everyone is kinda the same age???? reader and shoko are med school buddies; everyone is slightly ooc
part 1
“Anatomy is crucial in medicine. Why? Because it is a language. How can you treat the body, without understanding it first?” he started, pacing around the room, his lips in a straight line.
“ I’ll save you some time. You can’t. That’s your only job, as medicine students. Learn the body’s language, learnt its intricacies, and you’ll find that everything is connected, and everything has meaning.”
Professor Yaga had this somberness to him, that made everything sound like a verdict. It was either this, or that, never grey. You supposed he would need to be so sure of himself in his line of work. Being a surgeon leaves little room for uncertainty, and it certainly requires a deep knowledge of the human body, that could be seen in the way he spoke about the subject. He was clearly fluent in this language, and you had the chance of learning it from the best. That only meant you had better get on it.
The class was over, but there was a stillness in the air, like everyone just now realized what they were getting in to. Oh well. You took your bag and swiftly made your way out to the back of the Anatomy building, to the smoking area, and lit a cigarette, sighing at the fact that there was only one left. You just got here yesterday, and the pack was already finished, how the fuck did that happen? Clearly there was some damage control that needed to be done.
“ You have a lighter?”
You raised your eyebrows, startled by the voice, and hand her your brand new clipper, bought at the gas station not too long ago.
The girl just nodded her head in sign of appreciation, and stood besides you, neither wanting to start any kind of conversation. The silence was eventually too much to bear, so she started speaking, but you didn’t quite register it, because you kept looking at her eyes. They were so peculiarly bright, not in color, but there was something… unusual.
“I’m sorry, what did you say?”
She looked at you funny and laughed. ���Parliament. Aqua Blue. You have good taste.”
It was your turn to laugh. “I suppose. Better than those Lucky Strikes you’re smoking.”
“They’re the real deal, not those Vogue bullshits.” she said, her mohth corner slightly dropping in disgust.
“ Yeah, but by the end of college we’re both gonna need new lungs.”
You both smile, a small cloud of smoke forming over you.
“I’m Shoko. I think you’ll be my new cig partner.” she says finishing her cigarette and stepping on it.
“Y/N. You in Dorm B?”
“Yeah, don’t tell me we’re on the same floor, cause that would be some freaky fucking shit.”
“Last floor. I have to climb all the fucking stairs cause the stupid elevator doesn’t work.” you said rolling your eyes. What a pain in the ass.
Shoko nods her head understandingly, pursing her lips and slightly squinting their eyes.
“Makes sense. I bet those fuckers put all of us first years there.”
You throw her an amused look, fiddling with the lace of your hoodie, thinking maybe this wasn’t going to be as hard as you thought it would. Yeah, you had to climb seven floors just so you could crash in your bed, but having someone to share that torture with would make it bearable. You liked her. She was blunt, but also reserved, the real embodiment of not giving a fuck, something you clearly lacked but desperately tried to achieve; she was the kind of girl you could sit in silence without being awkward, not needing to make useless conversation just to fill the air with words.
The day flew by extremely fast, and when you finally got back to your dorm at 8 pm and realized you hadnn’t eaten anything but half a cookie Shoko gave you, you sighed. How were you going to keep up with med school if the first day already has you in shambles? You didn’t even want to think about having a social life, going to the gym, and maybe taking up some extracurricular activities, no, you couldn’t think about that because you didn’t even unpack. The stacks of boxes seemed to stare at you in disappointment, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. You stared at the stained ceiling- how did that stain even get there- your eyelids starting to slowly close, when your phone started ringing. Shoko’s contact appeared on the screen and you contemplated letting it ring, but ultimately decided do answer, because college was supposed to be about making new friends, trying new things, having life-changing experiences, and staring at the duck-shaped stain on the ceiling only brought you closer to wanting to sink into the mattress and hibernate for a couple months.
“Are you in your room?” she asked with a curious tone. You answered her and suddenly saw your door open large, your guest making herself at home.
“ You look like you’re having an existential crisis, get up.” she said not even sparing you a glance and immediately opening your closet, sighing at the emptiness of it. Not even a second later she started rummaging through your boxes, opening every single one and groaning for a reason you couldn’t figure out.
“ Hello to you too, of course you can come in, yeah , sure, have a look around, it’s not like I care about my privacy or whatever.” you said , standing up and stretching with a yawn.
Shoko squealed happily upon finding a pink box - fuck, you thought, not the party box - and bringing it to your bed.
“ That’s the way things are going to be from now on, so you better get used to it.” she raised her shoulders, smiling and wiggling her eyebrows. “I love this box, by the way. We’re going to be very good friends, I can tell just from looking at it.”
“ You can tell that by the fact that I have a box full of alcohol and skimpy clothes?” you said incredulously.
“ Yup. You should wear this top tonight, it’s perfect, classy and slutty at the same time.” she huffed out and then threw it in your face.
“ You can’t be seriously thinking about going to that stupid freshman party.” you whined.
“ We,” she said while pointing at the two of you, “are going to the party. You can start getting dressed, I’ll make the drinks, we’re meeting my friends in an hour.” she explained casually, as if it was the most obvious thing, and you couldn’t do anything but comply. Even though you were more than tired, the truth was, you could never say no to going out - you were only human - and it seemed like Shoko read you perfectly. You liked her, and more than that, you liked that she acted as if you were best friends since birth.
“ We have to do shots then, because I am not going anywhere sober.” you added, while reaching for the tequila bottle in your box. Shoko gave you a big smile and the fun began. It took more than an hour, but it was to be expected, because getting ready for a party makes up for more than half of the fun. A couple shots and cigarette breaks later, Shoko knew the story of your life, you knew hers, you were planning matching tattoos and moving in together- it came naturally, as if the two of you were always meant to be friends, and the universe only now put you in the same place.
After successfully walking in the cold for 20 minutes, you reached the designated party place and calling it overcrowded would be an understatement - even the sidewalk was full of people. Shoko simply grabbed your hand and guided you through the house, which she seemed to know perfectly (you were definitely asking her about it the next day), and after bumping into countless sweaty people, you reached a closed black door. What the fuck was this?
“It’s a long story.” she said looking at your confused face, then knocking.
“ How could they hear over the fucking music?” you asked her and for a moment she just stared at you, and then quickly got out her phone. You couldn’t hear what she was saying while talking on the phone, partly due to the loud music, and partly due to the fact that just maybe, you were a little tipsy.
The door suddenly opens and this tall, white-haired guy looks at you grinning just like the Cheshire Cat. He was freakishly tall, and he had these weird round glasses on- what was going on? You enter the room, and took a look around, seeing way fewer people than you expected. What was this?
“So you are Shoko’s friend!” the white haired guy said almost screaming at you. “I’m Gojo, Shoko’s love of her life, nice to meet you, sweets.” he continued while putting his hand over your shoulder. You couldn’t even answer because Shoko snorted loudly and slapped his hand away.
“ Call yourself that again and I will use your cadaver as a learning tool for my anatomy class. I can’t stress this enough Toru, you are the reason I have so few girl friends. Just shut up.” she said half smiling at him.
“ What’s up with the glasses? You have some sort of disease or what?” you asked, studying his glasses. He gasped and flashed you a boyish grin.
“Why? You want to study me or what, sweetheart?” he said mimicking you.
“Yeah, I’m just dying to, sweetheart” you laugh, taking a sip from the drink Shoko just shoved into your hand and then get dragged away by her.
“ Don’t get too flirty with him, we don’t want his ego getting bigger than it is - if it’s even possible. ” Shoko whispers to you and you both giggle like little schoolgirls.
“What’s up with this room? Is this the VIP section or what?” you ask as you go sit on a kitchen counter.
“Gojo’s father basically owns the whole uni, so everyone will kiss his ass so they’ll get on his good side. We’ve all been coming here since high-school, and we decided the kitchen is our safe space - sort of.” she explained while lighting up a cigarette.
“And he lives here or what?”
“ No, he said he wanted to have the “full college experience” ” she said while rolling her eyes, “ so he lives in the dorms. ”
“ Not to be mean, cause he’s your friend and all, but that’s typical rich people bullshit.” you answered, shaking your head.
“ Yeah, he may be a little peculiar but he’s a good friend. Don’t tell him I said that though.” she muttered through the smoke.
You brought your own cigarette to your lips when a spark appeared in front of you. You looked up in front of you, only to see another freakishly tall guy.
“Damn, everyone here is so tall.” you thought out loud, making the guy in front of you raise his brow, while getting a laugh out of Shoko.
“ You’re welcome.” he said, calmly while also lighting his cigarette - the same brand as yours. You nodded, feeling a rush of blood in your cheeks and mentally thanking whoever it was that turned off the lights, leaving on only the red neon sign on the wall. You took a drag and looked at him through your lashes - broad shoulders, gorgeous black hair and cold, dark eyes. Shoko had good taste in friends, for sure. If the other one was Gojo, this had to be Geto, which made Shoko right - they truly were the embodiment of Yin and Yang.
“This is Suguru, Satoru’s husband.” Shoko chuckled and he slightly rolled his eyes while fake punching her shoulder.
“This is Y/N, my future wife.” she presented you, and you blew her a kiss.
“ Don’t you think we’re moving a bit too fast?” you asked her pouting.
“Not at all. I told you we were meant to be from the start.”
Geto scoffs. “You’ve been hanging out with Satoru so much you start to sound like him.” he said and Shoko’s eyes widen.
“ Take that back!”
He put his arms in the air and cracked a tiny smile, and as his shirt rolled up just the tiniest amount, you couldn’t help but notice some tattoos going down his abdomen. You didn’t let your eyes wander for too long, because you felt an arm on your shoulder - Gojo.
“ Shoko, you mind if I steal your beautiful gorgeous fellow doctor-to-be for some shots?” he lolled his words while squeezing you.
“ My darling handsome whatever you are going to be, if my wife doesn’t come then I won’t either.” you added, and Shoko sighed.
“ Enough with this talk, you’re making us all sick. Let’s just go.” Shoko deadpans, making a disgusted look.
“ You and I are going to get along perfectly.” Gojo exclaimed, looking at you through his glasses, revealing a concerning shade of blue. That definitely had to be some disease, you thought, not giving voice to your said thought and just smiling at him.
You looked at Geto who had a completely flat face - frankly, he didn’t look happy to be here. You flashed him an awkward smile that he didn’t return - what a dick - and made your way through the crowd, guided by Gojo.
The huge living room smelled awful, the floor was sticky, and there were so many people you could barely breathe, but you were in a perfect state of inebriation, not completely drunk off your mind, but close enough so that you didn’t care. You became extra social, as you usually did in this state, flashing smiles left and right, talking to everyone about everything. You and Gojo seemed to make an unstoppable duo when drunk, that couldn’t be stopped when there were shots involved, leaving Shoko surprised.
All the dancing and the smoke started to make you dizzy so you made your way outside, leaving Shoko talking to a very pretty girl from your class, Utahime you thought was her name, knowing you’ll definitely tease her about it in the morning - fuck, morning.
Tomorrow was tuesday, it was currently 2:37 am and you were on your way to being seriously drunk - so much for being responsible in college. You took out your phone, setting an alarm at 7 am, and looked for your cigarette pack, only to come to the pained conclusion that you must have lost it somewhere inside. You sat down on the wet grass, thinking about how annoyed you’ll be when you’ll have to wash your jeans, and put your head on the wall behind you, sighing.
“You lost your pack.” you heard a deep voice to your right, only to see Shoko’s brunette friend throw you your pack.
“ Holy shit, thanks.” you said, confused and grateful at the same time, while taking out a well-deserved ( or so you told yourself) cigarette. Realizing you had no lighter, you looked at the man with the best puppy eyes you could muster, only for him to roll his eyes.
“You sure looked like you were having fun with Satoru.” he said coldly, almost accusatory.
“ What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” you asked annoyed at his tone. Was he jealous that his friend was actually having fun instead of sulking around like a loser? “Thanks for the lighter.” you added curtly.
“ Nothing.” he stated, lighting his own cigarette, continuing stand at an awkward distance - close enough so you could hear what he was saying, but still far, like you were in first grade all over again and he didn’t want to get caught talking to a girl.
“If you’re not having fun , why are you here?” you said taking a drag and turning towards him.
He laughs - a short, almost bitter laugh. “Who says I’m not having fun?”
You scoff. “Please, you look like you’re one inconvenience away from killing yourself and everyone here.”
“You know, that’s kind of rude to say to someone you’ve just met.” he replied, still not looking at you.
“I have a feeling you’ll get over it pretty fast.” You thought you saw a small smile in the corner of his lips, but it quickly went away. As you finished your cigarette, you looked at the time again, groaned and got up.
“ Thank you for rescuing my pack, Geto. It was nice to meet you.” you uttered, giving him a forced smile and leaving him outside. As you entered the house, Shoko latched onto you.
“ We have class in 4 hours.” she murmured in your year. “We’re fucked.” Exactly your thoughts. You intertwined your hand with hers and exhaled.
“ Let’s go sleep.” you said, mentally preparing yourself for walking drunk and cold back to your dorm. Shoko just hummed and followed your lead, as if you were in a better state than her.
The bed felt like heaven and you quickly drifted away to sleep, with the room slightly spinning, thinking that maybe this wasn’t such a bad start to college.
let me know if you like it!!!!! <333333
#jjk#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#geto suguru#gojo satoru#geto x reader#getou suguru x reader#shoko ieiri#gojo x reader#gojou satoru x reader#sukuna#sukuna x reader#suguru x you#alternate universe#satoru x you#jjk imagines#jjk imagine#geto imagines#suguru geto imagine#gojo imagine#sukuna imagine#jjk fic#jjk fics#jjk fluff#jjk angst#i dont like editing i think u can tell
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#omniscient reader's viewpoint#omniscient readers viewpoint#orv#yoo joonghyuk#yjh#im artblocked but i had to squeeze something in before the end of the year so help me god#edit: i just realized the figures can be construed as kdj. to be clear my intent was for it to all be yjh#BUT i think since its a bit ambiguous anyways u can interpret it as ud like/prefer#i dont really like telling ppl how to interpret my work but.... im adding this note in case
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what do you think toshiro's version of laios would've been like if he was still with the group during the shapeshifter shenanigans
there have been a few speculations in the tag and among the fans and they are all very good SO i am going to take this opportunity to insert a bit of my shipping bias as i like in my interpretation LMAO agdsfgdfgv
i noted that in actuality shuro seems to have a very good grasp on laios' character??? this is most obvious in the manga later on but even seeing how he criticises laios in their fight... iirc nothing he says is actually untrue or wildly exaggerated, and while he does express frustration over something he feels like laios Should have control over (noticing his cues), he is also aware that laios isnt being malicious and that hes Just Like That. what i mean to say is that while i think his version of laios may seem more pushy and in-your-face, i dont think it will be overwhelmingly so. if its post-fight, i think the idea of laios (and marcille) being willing to do anything to get falin back made a big impression on him, as well as the idea that they need to eat and rest in order to succeed in their goals, so those aspects would be prominent in his version. he seems pretty observant, so i think for the most part the physical traits would line up, but i think there would be specific things that stand out to him that would appear strangely striking on his version of laios (like. idk something about his eye colour or the subtle contrast of his armour and chainmail. he seems to have a weird sense of aesthetics if extras are anything to go by lmao). if hed actually been paying attention all those times laios had gone on about what the hell ever, then it might be even MORE hard to tell apart his version since he would also have a good grasp on what laios should know. so either his version of laios is pretty difficult to pick out, OR despite the character being accurate his appearance is too. stylised lmao (exaggerated features or something) OR!! they just get him to pull out his monster gourmet guide thing and are able to tell from there. iirc everyone was surprised at its appearance so its possible toshiro had also never seen it before
IN MY IMAGINARY SHIPPING SCENARIO............ lets say that his laios isnt able to be picked out immediately and that the monster guide thing also doesnt immediately occur to anyone. what the real laios Specifically notices is how close this other laios keeps getting to shuro. and hes like. ??? why is he getting so close to him, theres no way i get that close to him??? but no one else seems to be picking up on it as weird, so hes having a small crisis like do i REALLY get that close to him???? and now that hes on the outside he notices shuro subtly leaning away and he feels both a wave of shame and..... protectiveness??? (JEALOUSY??????) and he immediately steps in and grabs him like Hey!!! cant you see hes uncomfortable???? weve been through this already!!! and like. ok i cant believe im doing this again but i need to separate this into different endings
a) the whump route: i dont think shuro ever envisioned Actually Telling laios about his frustrations outside of being basically cornered into it. has he ever spoken up against what was expected of him?? has he ever been confrontational???? i think part of what held him back from expressing his frustrations, along with the cultural norms, could be fear of what the reaction would be. if he had done the same in any other aspect of his life (his family, his inheritance), i think he would expect disappointment, disapproval, more proof that he doesnt add up to expectation. to be honest i dont think he Truly believes that laios is the type of person to react like this. but it was strong enough to prevent him from acting and i think would be projected onto his image of laios. maybe fake!laios says something dismissive like Well if it really bothered him hed say something right? what, he cant even stand up for himself? cmon, shuro, prove that you cant handle it just like everything else. and thats pretty much the fastest giveaway that it isnt really laios. of course this would be a HUGE tonal departure from what the actual episode/chapter was, so:
b) the dumbass route: both laioses break into fisticuffs, and, yes.... barking. and so they speedrun the entire encounter as the shapeshifters true form appears and, after laios points out that thinking too hard about others versions of you can tear apart groups and peace of mind, they pointedly do not speak of it again. they think about it though. a LOT
c) the normal route: both laioses argue normal like and the group ends up being able to tell them apart because the fake laios goes on a little too long about how theyre all here for falin and everyones like ok its not like he DOESNT love his sister but.......... the rest of the scenario probably goes like canon, though then i would want to see what everyone Else thought of shuro
#if it had been pre-fight i think shuro must have seen him as someone who wasnt serious enough or was too directionless#it would definitely have been easier to pick him out i think....#i realise that very little actual shipping made it into the scenario. but i hope you see the vision#anon#ask#laishuro tag#if shuro actually ended up having to judge them i cant tell you how accurate he would have been#i DO know that compared to laios he would have been watching their social interactions more carefully#maybe he notices certain habits. i dont know if he would get all of them right though. he definitely gets laios right#long post#huge fucking post even. im so sorry. i hope this answered your question#this is actually shorter than it originally was i took off a paragraph#and.. shorter again because i just revised the final route LMAO#its kinda important that laios is the one that judges so i fixed it. originally i was like well what if shuro judged#which u can kind of tell from the tags above lmao#ok i give up i cant edit this anymore here u go <3
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#ay. tomorrow might b the day i face the music#which is to say. i tell my advisor how fucked i am. i mean. ill spin it so it doesn't sound so bad#its just that ive told him like 2 weeks in a row that id send him my edited preproposal and i have not bc im too afraid to start reading#papers related to my project. which is frustrating. and like the thing is. and i kno ive said it before and i kno im not a fucking idiot#i can read papers and i can even understand what theyre broadly saying. but thats it.#zero critical thinking. zero insight. i use all my tiny fucking brain space to try to understand the words on the pages#and even then it only forms this broken fucking image of whats being said. like u dont understand. i used to struggle with writing papers bc#i couldnt fucking connect what i was saying from one paragraph to the next when i was the one doing the fucking writing.#what the fuck am i doing here? and again. im not stupid. i can follow the information if its fucking said out loud but thats not how this#works. and it just feels like sometimes there's a limit to what you're capable of and im at that fucking limit. the undergrads in my lab#have more ability to comment on papers than i do. its so fucking frustrating and i just have to live with knowing itll never get any easier#so what the fuck can i do other than drop out? theres no god damn way im gonna pass a comprehensive exam. not unless i buckel down and break#myself in half to try to retain all the information i need to. which requires that i read so many god damn papers that i cant fucking read.#just. why tf did i pick a career path where my suffering is inherent to a huge part of my job? i feel like ive consistently chosen to take#the hard path in life and ive finally stumbled too far from what is possible for me#so well see what comes out of my mouth tomorrow when i have my weekly meeting. i just feel like its my last semester#i feel like this is it. i just need someone to fucking hire me. bc everytime my lab mate mentions something abt#my project down the line or talks abt future conferences i should attend. im just like. its a nice idea but that's not happening. im just#at the end of the line and it sucks#unrelated
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thinking about. about Krag. how he's the last of his kind. how his family was ruthlessly murdered by Zane's soldiers, and he had to bury them all and create tiny burial grounds for them and no one talks about just how fucked up it is that the show just NEVER addresses that Zane was responsible for LITERAL genocide like and they never even explain why the yeti's were all fucking killed so this dude lost his whole fucking family and its never explained as to WHY he had to fucking lose them all and AUGH SCREAMING SOBBING TEARS TEARS TEARS
#can u tell I discovered a soundtrack edit of the music that plays when cole realizes the truth ab the yeti#WEAIT FUCK !!!#COLE knew ab the yeti genocide. he probably didnt tell anyone else. cole knew it was under the ice emperors orders. he knows zane was the#ice emperor...#do u think he told them#ninjago#raine's rambles#I love s11 but also I fucking hate it and I love it and I wisah the show would adress just how fucked up everyting there wAs !!!#like no zane cannot just go back to being funny silly haha goofy guy. hes an actual fucking murderer dude like...#also idk i dont find the zane loves murder now jokes suuuup;er funny#yea they can be funny but i think thats kind of a . fucked up wat to look at it itf that makes sense???
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unironically all the takes ive been seeing irt laios have been sooooo 😬😬😬 that if/when i catch up reading and/or watching i simply shant interact w anyone outside of my trusted mutuals bc holy shit yall
#morgan.pdf#theres a bunch of other fandombrained bullshit i dont want 2 touch w a 30 foot pole but#good lord the recent shit ive been seeing. you know autistic adults are still Adults right#allistic folks will see an autistic man and be like awww he is sooo sillygoofy i love my little autistic son🥰🥰🥰#and then you look and that silly little boy is 26 years old#also just bc im also autistic and cant tell if my own tone is coming across right. i think laios is a fun and cool character#who portrays autism in a genuinely refreshing way (ie not the butt of a joke sheldon bigbangtheory style)#but u can be autistic and an adult 💀💀💀 dont infantalize him like that yallre weord#edit: actually not even just allistics ive seen a lot of autistic folk talking abt him like hes a 5 year old 💀💀💀
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(little bit of silence at the beginning because it wouldnt let me upload otherwise RIP) quick plug-and-play this-mix-is-ass-session-terminated type shoujo-a cover but (said in a hushed voice filled with wonderment and awe) soyogi........................................
(ust by Taketonbo)
#I MIGHT look for a different project file or edit it to work better with soyogis voice and cevios.. cevioness#but actually i do like this song with him a lot.... he does better with the fast parts than i expected#but i really love his sort of chesty long notes....... hmmmm.....#also i started like silencing his breaths (NORMAL THING TO SAY WHEN USING VOCAL SYNTHS) i started silencing his breaths in the volume#parameters for like the first half a verse but then i realized im plugging and playing this shit first actually so i gave up and just like.#loosely noisegated them. but man. i do wish cevio had better breath controls#the current situation is um. the voice breathes at every empty space. every single one. no matter how small#the only in engine solution from what i can tell is just manually turning down the volume for any pause where you dont want a breath#which is why every plug and play cover i post for a cevio/voisona voice sounds like they just ran into the studio LOL#(yeah maybe i only figured out what noise gates are like last week..... shhh.... shhhhhhhh)#because i did use that noise gate its not AS BAD but he does still sound a little like hes hyperventilating#which sometimes. especially for a song like this. might be what you want. but you dont really want the breaths on the glottal stops LOL#which is the biggest issue. i do hope someday they figure out a better way to do this. other engines dont breath until u tell them to#i dont mind the opposite situation but there is currently from what i know no way of making them hold their breath LOL#id love like. a phoneme that just cuts out all sound or something. a true 'sil' for cevio#theres xx which like has no phonemes. and an apostrophe does like devoicing shit to vowels i think? but they still like#gasp and wheeze over everything its so funny like soyogi ia tsudumi my friends....... ur breath control....#although can i judge? i cant really sing without getting a headache because i run out of breath too fast LOL
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I can't believe the Younger Brother (1689) by Aphra Behn has the only one bed trope
#act iv scene i#olivia is in disguise as mirtilla's page endimion and she's wooing welborn on her own behalf#and welborn is like well im hosting a gentleman in my lodgings right now but u can sleep w me#and olivia is like uhmmm uhmmm i can't do that not for any particular reason i just can't sleep in ur bed#(bc she's modest but she is kinda tempted. but also worried if she denies too hard he might suspect her of being actually a woman)#and he's like what are you afraid my bed's diseased? do u think im gay? im telling u there's nowhere else for us both to sleep#im not gonna make u sleep on the floor kid#PLEASE#the younger brother might be one of my new favorites from behn. i haven't finished it yet but it kinda has everything i love from her#mirtilla in particular is such an interesting character#text post#aphra behn#restoration comedy#in the edition edited by janet todd for vol. 7 of the collected works#i believe it's based off of the original quarto text that was published after behn's death#i highly suspect a lot of this prose dialogue is supposed to be blank verse#SO. MUCH. of it flows exactly like blank verse. it kinda bothers me#i do dream about editing and publishing my own edition of behn's plays and i would definitely amend these to be verse#i wonder if montague summers' version is verse? idk this is the first janet todd edited play ive read#i dont yet know the differences between their editing styles#god i wish more than 2 ppl in history had ever bothered to edit and publish this woman's collected works#oxford world classics should definitely put out another volume of her plays#i love the one they have featuring the rover/feigned courtesans/lucky chance/emperor of the moon#but she's got what like 15 other extant plays? and oxford world classics has the range and capabilities to do it#or if penguin classics ever wants to pretend they're really as good as oxford they can print their own#as far as diversifying the canon and widening the availability of older texts. oxford still beats penguin any day#but it does piss me off that no classic book publishers take this period of early-modern women's drama and proto-novels very seriously#or rather. no big ones that i know other than oxford#im not counting print-on-demand companies that reprint the texts of public domain works w no editing#those serve a purpose but those are not leaders in the publishing industry for a reason. theyre not sposta be
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google how do i tell my dad that the reason i keep bringing up elon musk's transphobia isn't that i've got gen z political tunnel vision that makes me blind to his "innovation" in electric cars but because i am desperately crying out for you as the father of a trans child to feel just as outraged and angry as i am that that man has so much power
#edit: warning the tags get pretty personal whoops. however tumblr is like a diary to me so. but if discussions of father issues arent for u#it's not anything he's directly said but like. when we talk about it i can tell he's clinging to this like#image of musk as this inventor working for the good of humanity#because he's admired him for a long time and like i get it it's hard to let go of your heroes when it turns out they're trash#but. he's always been trash. is the thing. and i've been saying this.#and it would be nice to feel some solidarity! or support! or empathy idk!#and not like. lectures why tesla is actually progressive or why spacex is the best thing to happen to science since fucking penicillin#and sometimes ppl who push the world towards progress rub people the wrong way#god like. we were in the car the other day talking about it and i mentioned tesla moving to texas bc of the law protecting trans kids#and he mumbled something like well sure yeah he said that but Really... really it's about the taxes......#okay!! who give a shit! that's not the point! the point is that he's got fucking legions of alt right fanboys who hang off his every word#so when he says something that is good for trans people is actually dangerous and bad and hurts kids#and when he openly publicly deadnames and misgenders and LIES about his TRANS DAUGHTER. it's fucking dangerous! and it makes trans people#(IE ME. YOUR CHILD.)#feel unsafe!#it should get you angry! it should make you rethink how you saw him previously! it should make you want to stop supporting him!#idk. i mean my dad has never been like. against me being trans. and he's worked really hard on the pronouns and not deadnaming me#but it's stuff like this where it feels like he doesn't grasp how he's de-prioritizing my perspective as a trans person and.#his Child.#and how his first reaction to me starting t was 'no.. why would you do that :('#it just feels bad. i love him so much but it's shit like this that makes me feel like i don't matter to him or like i'm disappointing him#and then he gets confused when i tell him that i feel that way#wow! sorry for this. i should get serious about finding a therapist i dont think i knew i felt all this until i typed it out#im gonna add a tag at the beginning of this. as a warning. lolololol. lol. anyway#got 2 pick up my t tomorrow and also email my dr for more wellbutrin haha slay! hit the slay button. dispenses ssris.#god i'm so tired sorry i'm delirious actually. also i saw my brother this weekend which was so nice and he's such a weirdo which also#makes me weirder by proxy
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hey. hi hello. what gave u the right to make the most gut wrenching video ive ever seen in my entire life (star trek is about the sixties). how dare you. you changed my life.
Okay !💖yay
#I love that u love these things that I make cus sometimes I get so embarrassed about them and I#have ocd so being embarrassed about literally anything feels like being on a fbi watchlist and being set on fire#thank u all for leaving nice comments and I'm glad u like my my videos#people in my life keep being like u should make video editing ur career u shoukd get money for this and its like bestie wouldve couldve sh#Its keeping me alive like i don't understand how people can turn their hobbies into jobs and still benefit them i dont get it#also i literally cant do this shit on command i cant make things that people tell me to make unless the spirit so moves me#making these videos literally helps me think straight and gives me energy i wouldntve showed them to anyone if i had the willpower like idk#interests feel limited and precious like even if I was in any way able to turn it into a job it would just#become another thig im doing for other ppl and id forget who i am again. god i need to do some acid or some shit i mask too much#cannot express how insane the revelation that im a real person was. im a real person who is strange and unsettling for real#when i talk to chairs or kiss my phone on the forehead no one is telling me to do that. thats the real me#anyway have a nice day#asks
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Guyysss look at I made ::3c
Flash warning ⚠️
#yakuza#ghost whispers#nishiki#nishikiyama akira#tats all if u like it tell me wut u think of u dont like it tell me why soooo i can get better:3#GhostBones edit
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Dislike how explicit bls have made it so its not a bl unless two men are ripping each others clothes off and fucking on every available surface in my opinion a true bl is where the symbolism is in how they drink their wine, if they talk about the red thread of fate, if flowers fall from the sky when they meet, and in how their hands brush one (1) time in episode 26
#kinnporsche has nothing on lwj and wwx on the steps of koi tower actually#and certainly its got nothing on wenzhou linking hands and drinking wine like theyre at their wedding#like okay they had sex. and what?#where are the memorable lines the way lwjs eyes tell you everything hes thinking the way wheb wkx says wife u know he means zzs is husband#like#this might be me being demi but can we go back to subtext i dont actually want to see some dude try to jack kinn off under a table with his#feet#i just want that 'subtlety' free had when they had rin do the anime girl love interest turn when haru professed his undying love#and i want the flirtation through poetry bc no one can say outright that they are flirting#also tian guan ci fu live action and s2 when i loved that#sharing bedrolls cleaning houses together the husband symbolism in ep 1#excellent brilliant#link click? two guys living together going mad when ones in danger the tsundere one and the cutesy one !!!#what im getting at is i dont mind sexy scenes so long as theyre there for a reason and not just fanservice#and yes wwx shoving a sword up his ass did nothing for plot or symbolism BUT but we got a good 300 pages of pining BEFORE he did that#and when i see edits of mdzs its always the really loving scenes between them#but when i see kinnporsche edits its just them fucking ive seen way too much of those 2 men making out#and i dont like it#where is the emotional substance#like yeah we know wenzhou spent the rest of their days in that cave fucking like rabbits#but also we got 36 episodes and like 5 deaths at least out of it#like before you get to the sex#build up a good plot and good characters#idk#i miss old bls i guess i miss when bl meant boys LOVE not bloys LOVEMAKING is that so much to ask for
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Fixing my dialog up
Blurgh
#speculation nation#itnl shit#the struggle of writing a new character is conceptualizing their Voice#gotta settle those sliding scales down#i had formality scale too formal i think. hes kind of formal but in a pretentious way. not a true formality.#a little bit stilted in speech. trying to intimidate. trying to seem like hes got the upper hand always#talking down to people. like theyre lesser than him.#seemingly unflappable. at least at this point in the story. just a bastard man with a bastard plan.#im cross referencing manga dialog rn. i wrote originally with the 98 anime dub voice in mind#which has some Vibes but is less concrete#im going for concrete now. gotta finalize this fucking dialog.#once i smooth it out then i can go tie up the end of the scene#and Then i start the formal overall edit sweep for general coherency and consistency#as well as looking for any minor mistakes i couldve missed in earlier editing sweeps#aka. my usual process lol#i am just squinting angry bitch annoyance at this fuckin bastard man. trying to figure out how he talks#it's kind of difficult to figure out the minor differences due to Things and how that would actually go into effect#what they dont tell u about writing is that it is so very hard actually. god damn.
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thank you so much for sharing your process/lineart/and just in general. i've been watching your vods on youtube and it's rlly inspiring and satisfying to watch...godspeed!
it's no problem at all! and I'm very glad you enjoy the VODs haha, they're really the best way to see how I go about anything! including the pixel-pushing and repeatedly redrawing the same line lol
#bakuspeeck#ask#tbh Im just always a bit embarrassed by how many hours of absolutely unscripted words said in my voice there are#my art stuff aside. truly how do u guys sit through That#fskjdfhd sometimes u can really tell I don't speak english in real life#tbh even with the video Im wrestling with I do think the streams are good Specifically for the#kinda rough parts. like theyre the most realistic estimation of my actual drawing speed lol#the video just so that it can actually be followed has to be edited. once again I'll try my best. but its a video#you dont get to see me spamming undo and turning the canvas like a pinwheel in a video. ideally#but those are crucial steps. to drawing#its a bit of why I try streaming. Im a staunch believer in being the worst anyone has ever done it#so people can look at me and say wow. theyre doing absolutely kindergarten shit. maybe drawing isnt a miracle art#its just grit and sweat babeyy! annoying and tedious sometimes. but always can be done#holds ur hand. lets draw ok? a whole world awaits us
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🐆
#thinking about alex thesentinel again......#in a perfect world tiktok would be full of alex barnes edits that i could look at#i dont know a thing about editing but maybe i need to learn#YES this is cause i was listening to cannibal queen by miniature tigers#such a her song#i miss her... i miss her gorgeous face and unethical drive for power and her goofy 1999's cgi jaguar transformation#my post#still pissed her and cassie never met also actually#i started liking meghan more after her yuri moment w that evil bodyguard but even she didnt rly get screentime with alex!!#so unfair#once again u can tell i have a thing for evil blondes#i think im too afraid of them in real life tho
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i am going to try watching a show i never got 2 finish. not telling u what it is incase i actually am not able to
#ive seen a bitchy guy so ive been bewitched and i want 2 try it again#i was watching it with ykw but obviouslyyyyyyy we stopped wtchingggg bc . LOL#if yr aware of my life u may know what it is since there were just a couple shows i watched with him#well it isnt spn. ill tell u that. if i ever watch spn again itll probably be with lamp#but also idk if theyd actually have fun. but i think its very funny especially the first season the editing is sooo sillay. so yes#but anyways thats not what im watching so strike it off your list... there r like. 2 other options i think KJADNBKJWA#we watched That show 2gether (its getting another season soon and i genuinely dont know if ill like. Be Able to watch it or not. bc of.#gesture...)#but then theres the show im watchig which like even tho i watched it with him it was like. i think we started watching it when we were#already on a break LOL#so. itisnt rly a him show. so i think ill handle it better#its like allergy shots ill watch this and if i handle it ok i can try and watch That show. but also i still might not be able to#bc that one. ugh. im not getting into my stupid fucking kindating trauma thats Actually humiliating. whatever. suffice to say it was a much#bigger part of the relationship (the relationship went in phases of dumb fucking kin shit and that show was one of them)#no offense to kinnies . love u guys. i just have a very very very unstable sense of self and was pressured into acting more like characters#who were dating characters he kinned. and it like. idk ik its Sillay but it did rly mess with me like hed call me by the characters names#and stuff and Other details and idk. kinning just is not for me LOL it was honestly a big delusion for me and i will nott be returning. but#that doesnt mean im anti kinning even when it is a delusional thing like yk. Just for me it was very unhealthy and also i was pressured int#it. soo yes. sorry i got serious. shaking my fist#its so embarassing to have such tumblrcore trauma like. ok. i cant even talk abt it with therapists bc its so embarassing]#<- the kinning isnt the stuff its just like. Ok. how do i explain to a therapist in a way that isnt humiliating that i met a groomer bc i#drew fucking bmc life is strange crossover fanart on tumblr.com and then he invited me into a discord server that ruined my life.#like i cant say that. humiliating.#ANYWAYS. its show time. im just gonna start from. well ull never believe. The start#bc idr where we stopped lol...
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