#i dont like being that person to tell ppl that ''hey this thing you like is bad'' but sometimes its necessary

[bunnyboy-juice]

;~; (tags vent)

[carcinized]

i have srsly had irl queer people make fun of me for being queer + liking sports and tell me that is like, not gay or something. like ok just say youre chronically online. womens soccer is the queerest thing i have ever been a part of hands down. also youre an awful person

[gibbearish]

u ever have to back out of a drama explained video bc ur like. i agree that that person was in the wrong but the way youre presenting them is just unsettling

[waywardsalt]

:3

[snekdood]

i feel like u shouldnt be allowed to say someone has an ideology if they dont even know wtf you're talking about

[fardf150]

ig my problem is that when ppl who ive never spoken to who dont and will never have a reason to refer to me ask my pronouns it feels too much like the "are you a boy or girl" question. like im cool when theyre asking everybody bc they plan on knowing and talking to all of us. but when they approach me and only me and i dont know them it's like Oh youre just uncomfortable with the fact that i confuse you and you need to be able to classify me

[rxmxa]

random astro observations part 13.✨

✨just for fun im just talking random ass shit based on PERSONALL observations..✨

PART TWELVE. 📀

virgo risings and people getting intimidated by the way they speak (scorpio 3rd house). But then when you get know and befriend them theyre so sweet (pisces 7h, cancer 11h). My virgo rising bestie & when i first met her in college she was speaking in class and i was like woah shes smart asf and intense 😭

or sag risings and them speaking to people in a direct yet still obscure manner! or sometimes even cold in a sense.. like girl what do u really mean fr 🤨 (aqua 3h). But then you get closer with them and they love to chat with you (gemini 7h) and make anytime u hang out a pleasant and nice time (libra 11h). my sag rising friend throws the best parties (going all out with the decor, presentation of food, having a theme & ofc taking nice pics after… real libra 11h shit).

taurus risings and them communicating in a very soft, comforting manner (cancer 3h) and as you get closer you notice their intensity in their relationships with people (scorpio 7h) and their giving, helpful nature in their friendships (pisces 11h).

another thing about taurus risings, you can bet they are getting FREAKYYY with their partner with that scorpio 7h 😭they are very private with their relationships and rarely reveal personal details about it unless they trust you. my taurus rising cousin and she never shares anything about her bf (whats mine is mine you dont need to worry about it) energy. and she also has mentioned she doesnt need to give ppl a reason to try to found out for themselves what a great time shes having lmfaooo

also my taurus rising coworkers and one time we all went out for drinks and one of our coworkers was complaining about how women always have a shit time when having seggs with men and my taurus rising coworker was like “wellppp cant relate.”.. and i oop 🙈

the 2nd house rules the vocal chords and as an aries 2h sometimes when im excited or even mad i sound like a 12 year old 😭 like naruto when hes giving one of his NEVER GIVE UP NEVER BACK DOWNNN speech. I also feel like if you have scorpio or aries 2h people always think you're mad and want you to "calm down" when you talk. like no im not mad have you ever heard of being fucking passionate? hmmm?

In general, aries placements could also find they get a lot of patronizing comments or aries women could even find that men often try to "mainsplain" them. just bc aries are being assertive doesnt mean theyre being reckless or not seeing the big picture.. its all a balance. Aries DOES have this youthful /bold energy, but that doesnt mean they cant be wise people who prefer to learn by doing, even if others mistake their approach for inexperience..

we know plutonians can be seen as having this “abrasive” energy to other people. it can throw them off or make them be like “oh i dont like them.” but pluto doms recognize other plutonian people its that silent understand lmaooo its giving "real recognize real😎 " overall tho pluto dom ppl try to give others the benefit of the doubt (not necessarily bc they like them but just bc they wanna feel the energy on their own). like if people are talking shit about someone pluto doms might sit back and stay silent about it. they do their digging on their own. theyre not gonna let the crowd influence how they feel about someone. plutonians will be DOING THEIR DIGGING FIRST no matter what.

I remember a time when my cousin, who’s a Scorpio rising, asked me if I liked one of her friends (not in a romantic way). I said, 'Yeah, why?' and she replied, 'Oh, just asking because she said she feels like you don’t like her, but I knew she was overthinking it.'" We moved on from the conversation, but later, I realized that was such a typical Scorpio rising move. Instead of just telling me, 'Hey, my friend feels like you don’t like her,' she asked me that question first to confirm or deny it. I felt like she did that on purpose to make it harder for me to lie, even though I wouldn’t have lied in the first place. It annoyed me because, like, why would I lie about something like that??? But then I understood it’s just her nature. Scorpio risings ask questions in a detective ass way because they want to dig for the truth and feel out people’s responses.

plutonians and scorpios do that shit all the time, tilting their heads like little cats, squinting, being all like "oh..hmm, why do you think that?" like no im about to do this shit with u rn sherlock fuckin JONES u know WHYYY

in my moon aspects post ppl asked me if it still applied with “harminous aspects” and yes. it still does. just bc u think its easier doesnt negate the energy. for ex i have moon trine neptune and my mom (moon) has always been in her own world (neptune). and other family members find her energy “endearing” or ask me to “be kinder to her” but its also hard when your mom often times cares more about the world of what ifs in her head more than the real world with her daughter ... also my moms way of coping (moon) at times would literally be by saying in front of the family as soon she got home that she hates her life and wish she could “grow wings and be somewhere far away from everyone ” like delulu was always the solution for her 😭….

but also i wonder if people with moon-neptune placements feel confused (neptune) about motherhood (moon) in general. i use to say i didn't want kids but as ive gotten older i do like the idea of it. it just feels very....… [static noises]

nui.views on instagram reminds me of the aries-libra axis so much. Most of her videos have titles like “how to be soft and direct” or “how to balance sharp and soft expressions.” usually titles along those lines. We know theres always time to read the room (libra) but also knowing when its time to stand up or speak up! (aries) and nui.views basically says it’s possible to do both.

12h moons & their moms being their biggest enemyyy is crazy!! 🤨 the passive aggressive behavior, entitlement, hating from the sidelines. AND the expectation of the 12h moon child to “repay” or be “grateful” mother for all they did. my ex had a 12h scorpio moon and brooo anytime they got a good thing, mom would make it all about her (for ex they bought a new car, mom was LIVIDDDDD). the moon can show how mom takes advantage. for ex: scorpio moon in the 12h and mom (moon) is possessive about the resources (scorpio) you have or over you in general. taurus moon and mom (moon) is possessive about your money (taurus) or maybe even holds over your head that “she feeds you.” i have a coworker with a 12h taurus moon and her mom constantly borrows money from her or literally steals it and never pays it back. capricorn moon and mom may feel like your accomplishments belong to her or “you wouldn’t be successful without all i did” energy.

^ their can be a lot of enmeshment with the mom with this placement (especially if their is a moon-pluto aspect) but its something the 12h moon person has to decide to sever or break from on their own and on their own time. this placement has to deal with the “mother always knows best😊😊😊😊” energy

12th house Moon women and other women (Moon) being their hidden enemies (12th house) is so real! I remember at my old job, one of my coworkers had a 12th house Aquarius Moon, and all the women would talk so much shit about her behind her back. (To be fair, she wasn’t doing her job well, but their comments were just unnecessarily nasty.) I used to feel bad for her in meetings because everyone would act normal to her face. I wasn’t at that job long… With this placement, it's common for other women (whether friends, family, or acquaintances) to secretly harbor resentment, jealousy, or animosity that isn’t obvious on the surface. Plus, with 12th house placements, if the person is genuinely doing something wrong or needs feedback, instead of being honest, people often use that as an excuse to bring up unrelated complaints or things they don’t like, turning it into something bigger than it is!! Like girl how did you go from talking about her customer service skills to talking about her haircut be fr!

how do you guys feel about people who plan their pregnancies to get a sign/ birth chart they are compatible with for their child? not gonna lie I use to think that shit was crazy but then I think about the 12h synastry and squares I have with my mom and im like... this shii couldve been way cuter...

gemini placements are the people that wake up in the middle of the night to google a random fact. its a itch they gotta scratch 😭 me with my chart ruler gemini jupiter in the 3h. trying to do type a paper for a class in one sitting? well no i got sidetracked reading about how to defend yourself against bear attacks which led me to bear survival stories on reddit which led me to reading about polar bears which led me to finding an article about the farmer that got attacked and eaten by his own hog named teddy and then… boom . its 3am.

Its so hard though like we know the "jack of all trades" label that comes with mercurial energy but damn what if I just wanna be a jack of one trade and be really good at that one thing? I bounce around from thing to thing because im always getting these diff ideas but im really working on finishing something once I start it. its just hard.... sometimes I b having a lot to yap about, ya know? (ive had many diff hobbies, writing fan-fiction, painting, making candles, crocheting, LMAOOO its just chaos sometimes)

sometimes aspects can be very literal. im spilling some family tea sorry tia but for ex my aunt has venus conjuct pluto in the 10th house and her relationships (venus) are known for (10h) being taboo or just frowned upon (10h). She dated her besties ex-husband and it caused A LOT OF drama and then he fucking died bro...like?? Being known for (10h) her lovers (venus) dying (pluto)?????? im not trying to be a judgmental asshole but also its so disappointing though when people use aspects like this for evil? fucking ur besties man as soon as they get divorced? with that venus-pluto in the 10h she could've found herself a successful ass business man!

my bestie is a teacher and she was telling me about how the kids were sharing about what they wanna be when they grow up and when it got to this one girls turn she said she wanted to be a basketball player or some shit like that (the point is it was a very 5th grade response similar to her peers) but then like the kids started clapping when she said hers??? LMAOOOO and to me that is the most sun-venus SHIT EVER. and then she told me all the the 5th grade tea, how some of the boys have a crush on her haha. shes admired and well liked (venus) just for being who she is (sun)!

moon-venus is different. my experience with venus-moon aspect has consisted of women always feeling comfortable enough to confide me, me feeling more comfy with women around, children loving me, children in my family venting to me (im that one cousin the babies reach out to first to get picked up ejeje). the moon is about the inner self, privacy, and our home life. A moon-venus person might be very well-liked, but often in a more low-key, intimate way. They're the type of person you confide in or feel safe with, rather than someone who shines in the spotlight or dominates a social scene the way a sun-venus person would. both aspects make a person likable, but in different way. sun-venus is more about being confident and noticeable, while moon-venus is more about being caring and emotionally connected with others.

btw doing personalized astro observations in the style of the way i usually write my random ones but instead based on your birth chart 😙🥰

[egberts]

this is gonna make no sense but i hope someone can at least sympathize with my view here. i flat out dont interact with art on this site (or twitter) unless its made by a friend/mutual because ppl have so many rules about who is allowed to interact with them and how theyre allowed to interact with them that i know im gonna do smth wrong and upset someone so i just dont interact. it isnt worth it. the original poster can see your tags now so leaving tags is the scariest thing in the world to me now even on normal text posts because i know im going to say the wrong thing and get blocked or have my tags screenshotted

i can tell you're working with a lot of fear of being perceived, and it's okay to be an anonymous lurker online but if you're finding yourself feeling like you GENUINELY want to interact with somebody else's art/post/writing or whatever but fear of their reaction is the only thing stopping you then unironically my best advice for you is: DO IT SCARED. chances are, it'll go better than you're worried about and if it doesn't then the block button is right there for the both of you. if they block you don't take it personally, just move on. trust me on this one, a lot of random people have me blocked and it is never worth dwelling on for more than a "hey what the fuck." moment. I promise the opinions of random anonymous strangers mean less in your real life than you're worried about. genuinely look up from your screen right now, at your surroundings, and tell me, looking at the tangible things in your life that are there with you wherever you are, is it going to be THAT big of a deal if you accidentally piss off an internet stranger? absolutely not.

[starwikia]

suicide cw

look i have been in this area before mentally. it sucks and i wouldn’t wish this on anyone. but, and this is going to sound callous, but i don’t feel any sympathy for james somerton. even if i hope he’s like. not dead. But thats all the amount of goodwill im willing to give him. The more i think about this really, the more angry i am. 

ngl this entire situation is another example of how white people weaponize their mental illness to avoid consequences. Im seeing it in real time.

this man has a continuous habit of using self-harm as a get-out-of-jail-for-free card. in both of his apologies, he has worded his supposed attempts in ways that were clearly meant to guilt people who displayed his plagiarism and overall horrendous history of racism and misogyny. i say supposed because, while i’m not saying those are lies and this would he such a fucked up thing to lie about that i don’t want to think he has, unfortunately, it’s been proven again and again that his word can’t be trusted, as he’s known to lie to try get out of consequences. Hes a proven liar. him lying about this is actually the best case scenario, because no one should go through this entire situation, wouldnt wish this on anyone, but you can only do this so often before people stop sympathizing with you. is this callous? Yeah, but like. I’m actually fucking angry he cant straight up take no as an answer. that this is how he reacts realizing he cant be one of the Cool Kidz™️ on youtube anymore. he acts like he DESERVES a career, like its not a privilege hes lost due to his own actions.

He lied about apologizing and forgiving people, he lied about giving the money to hbomberguy to give to ppl he ripped off (yknow, instead of doing it himself), he lied about the jessie gender situation and rewrote the narrative to make it so he isnt the bad guy, and hes the victim all along actually!

you can’t tell me that supposed last message of his isn’t meant to be a 13 reasons why esq attempt to deflect the blame “look i’m going to kill myself and it’s all YOUR PEOPLES FAULT for not letting me achieve my DREAM of being filmmaker IN PEACE!!! I just wanted Nick’s (the guy who I have thrown under the bus again and again) portfolio up!! Im just being a good friend dont you all FEEL BAD” he refuses to take ANY ACCOUNTABILITY of any of his actions and he IS STILL trying to shove the blame over to other people again.

it’s also pretty ironic people are like “uhhh well hbomber’s fans harassed him!!!” like hbomber outright told people NOT to HARASS JAMES!!! ALSO acting as if james doesn’t have a very real documented history of STRAIGHT UP sending his fans to harass and threaten smaller creators, more notably women, trans, and bipoc creators. especially after he’s stolen typically very personal anecdotes so he could profit from them. so why can he do it but the second people are like “hey this guys an actual piece of shit.” and he can’t handle it suddenly people are trying to white knight his shit? like no he doesn’t get that. he doesn’t get that at all just because he couldn’t handle the consequences of his actions. 

what? were supposed to stay quiet about a man profiting off of other minorities because he wanted to be the spokesman for all gay people? people tried to solve this on a smaller, more private scales for YEARS and he kept doing it. it was clear that the giant public video was the ONLY way to get people to notice. HE WOULDVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH STEALING 87 FUCKING THOUSANDS WORTH OF DOLLARS. HE CANT HANDLE THE FACT HE CANT GET AWAY WITH IT. 

am i supposed to feel bad for the guy who basically threatened a trans woman with the police? i don’t care what anyone says, it’s so fucking obvious that he threatened jessie by implying he was getting the police involved in their conflict. what am i supposed to act like that didn’t happen? are we supposed to pretend like he didn’t glorify nazi’s and outright said that gay people made up a good chunk of the nazis? That he didnt say america joined ww2 bc they were jealous of the NAZIS. WHAT WOULD POSSESS YOU TO FUCKING SAY THAT. but then? He gives women (not even women most of the time, he misgenders nonbinary ppl constantly) shit for writing mlm. are we supposed to act like he doesn’t straight-up sees himself superior and better than people of color and steals their works to put himself on a pedestal? Are we supposed to act like he didnt spit on our elders by saying “only the boring gays survived aids” like man! Fuck you! He BLANTANTLY MAKES UP HISTORY TO PUT HIMSELF ON A PEDESTAL!! HE ACTIVELY TRIED TO REWRITE LGBT HISTORY TO SUIT HIS FUCKED UP NARRATIVES!

yes this sucks ! no one deserves this but no one should be making him a martyr. Thats what he fucking WANTS! He wants to be immortalized as a victim!! (again, supposedly, it was reported hes alive but its not confirmed).

The shit he got isnt near the amount of fucking callous behavior hes done again and again. Again, to drill this point, EVEN IF HE DIDNT CALL THE POLICE HE THREATENED A TRANS WOMAN INTO THINKING HE DID!!! The fact he tried to use a head injury to justify years of the outright ghoulish shit fucking astounds me. Why the fuck did anyone in his life thought it was a good idea to let him TRY to come back. in the end, he had options. he didn’t need to try to make a comeback. HE DIDNT NEED TO FUCKING LIE OR IGNORE THE SHIT HE WAS CALLED OUT ON the reality is, he wanted to come back thinking he could shove it under the rug, was told that no dude, you’re not allowed to be a youtuber anymore. you’re done. you need to move on and went full nuclear. it’s not on anyone’s hands but his own. HES BEEN DOING THIS TO HIMSELF!! But nah man we cant call his shit out bc hell may or may not kill himself. Fuck the other minorities who have the same issues but worse and sometimes BECAUSE of him. This is going to SUCKKKK so bad when other ppl, specifically white gays, are going to weaponize this shit to get away with their stuff.

[themostfangtastic]

things i wish someone told me when i was a young queer kid

not every queer person is going to be a good friend. i know when ur first coming to terms with ur identity you may want to befriend all the lgbt ppl you know!!! but believe me they can be jerks too. to some this may seem obvious, but i know it definetly wasn’t obvious to younger me.

on that note: your friends dont need to be just like you. whether that be identities, interests, or other things like that. its good to have people around you that have different ideas and experiences, actually. also half the fun of having friends is adopting each other’s interests and yelling at them to watch ur fav shows n stuff!!!!!

THIS IS A BIG ONE it may not apply to you but it grinds my gears. if you develop a ROMANTIC crush on someone and you learn theyre aro. a queerplatonic relationship is not just an easy way out of that. its not “the next best thing” its completely different and that’s just not cool. being in a qpr with someone who you know you have romantic feelings for but they don’t know that can be incredibly uncomfortable and you just shouldn’t do that. obviously it depends on the situation but what im trying to say is: if they don’t want to be in a romantic relationship with you dont automatically jump to a qpr just because you didn’t get what you wanted the first time. ur weird.

this one might be controversial idk but pls dont take it the wrong way. being polyamorous is not going to fix all of your relationship problems. DONT GET ME WRONG POLYAMORY IS BEAUTIFUL AND AWESOME ALWAYS AND FOREVER. but don’t use it as a bandage to just poof fix everything because it won’t work. those problems are still there and adding a new person is going to make it worse. i hope i explained this well i just think about it a lot.

similar to that: having ANY relationship will not fix your problems. you do not need someone else to complete you or make you happy. you should work on yourself first. like i heard someone say before; a relationship is an addition, not a completion.

be cringe. i dont give a fuck. and you shouldn’t either. you’re going to be old as balls and thinking oh man i wish i just did that thing. THATS EMBARRASSING!!!! LITERALLY DO WHATEVER YOU WANT FOREVER NOTHING MATTERS UR LITERALLY GONNA DIE ONE DAY WHO GIVES A FUUUUCKKK!!!!!!

anyways thats all i can think of for now ! fyi im just a guy so if you don’t wanna take my advice idc but hey im here to help. you’re so rad don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise <3

[dwntwn-strnlo]

GIVING UP matt sturniolo

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 𝓈𝒾𝓃𝒸𝑒𝓇𝑒𝓁𝓎, dwntwn-strnlo.

↳ 𝐀/𝐍. part 2 of enchanted! go read part 1 first :)

ALSO the triplets are just drinking water or whatever bc i dont wanna cross boundaries!

↳ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. matthew sturniolo x reader

↳ 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘. was it ever really over?

↳ 𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃? kinda (a part 2 was requested by multiple ppl)

↳ 𝐂𝐖! use of y/n, slight angst, alcohol involved party, happy ending, not proofread

"please don't be in love with somebody else . . .

. . . please don't have somebody waiting on you"

enchanted - taylor swift . . . speak now, tv. 2023

your eyes landed on the tall blonde first. he was facing the opposite direction, but you knew immediately who it was. his name quickly bubbled up in your throat, but you shoved it back down as hard as you could. that was your old life, and you're still trying to get over it.

but that small sighting immediately raised red flags in your head. you knew you had to get out of that party as soon as possible. and its not like its the start of the party anyways, its close to 2am. but now that you knew one of them was here, its safe to assume all three of them are here.

"hey, i'm gonna head out," you weakly smile to your friend, a slight edge to your voice. "sorry."

clearly intoxicated, they don't say anything, they just smile and nod.

you turn around quickly, only making it a few feet before your stuck in the crowd again. internally groaning to yourself, you start shoving past people, murmuring quick "sorry"'s, and "excuse me"'s.

standing up on the tips of your toes, you look over peoples heads. trying to see how close you are to the exit.

but the only thing you find is a pair of sweetly loved blue eyes, staring back into yours.

this time you can't keep the name out of your mouth, "matt. . .?" you whisper, his name slipping right past your tongue.

. . . three and a half years ago

"matt. . ." your sentence trailed off, you didn't mean to leave the words like that, but yet you did anyway.

matt sits beside you on the couch, his hands intertwined with yours. "we can make it work, y/n. i can fly out to-"

you shake your head, cutting him off. "matt. . ."

his smile was fading, his once contempt eyes dark. he's been pushing you to go, but begging you to take you with him. never wanting to let go of you and the possible future you could have together.

"c'mon, it can't be that hard!" a sad, pathetic, weak laugh breached his lungs. his eyes clearly holding back tears as he tries to reason with you. "i'm already flying from california to massachusetts, what's one more trip? one more flight? huh? i promise we can figure it out."

. . . present day

it seemed like he had just seen a ghost, and it was latched onto your body from the way he stared at you. his eyes were wide and panicked, and he looked around quickly before landing back on you.

you honestly can't tell if he's scoping out immediate exits, or looking to see if anyone can see what he's about to do. because you definitely don't expect to see him shove past several people to get to where currently stands. right in front of you, close enough to hear your heart pounding.

"y/n," he mumbles. his eyes still wide, clearly surprised with himself in the fact that he just made his way over to you after not speaking to you in years.

"hey," you whisper, suddenly feeling small.

and he's quick to sense your unease. curtesy of being the only person in your life for two years. "you look good," he smiles, still wary of the fact that he's standing right in front of you. basking in your presence once more.

"thank you," i murmur. still in shock that im finally seeing him again.

"how's uh- how's school?" he asks, trying to talk to you, expanding the moment. "you're graduating in a few months, right?"

you laugh. "its awful," you say, running a hand through your hair.

his expression softens, a look of sadness in his eyes. you can't tell if he genuinely feels bad, or if its a look of pity. "oh." he sighs. "i'm sorry to hear that, y/n."

the fact that he called you by his name hit hard. one of the only times he's called you by your name was when you broke up, and it still hurts. nobody can say your name the way he did. and it just tore you up from the inside out.

you stared longingly into his eyes, not sure what to say. you want to say something, but you don't know what.

. . .

"if you want to give up, that's fine. i can make it work if you don't want to anymore. i just can't let go of you so easily." he mumbles, ignoring the fact that he's let several tears fall. "it doesn't have to be we can make this work, it can be i, can make this work."

. . .

"have you given up yet?" he whispered, a small, hopeful smile tugging at the corners of his lips. his voice is barely audible under the booming trap music above you, but you can pick out what he asked.

you lightly smile, "no."

TAGLIST

@thetriplets3 @stxrniqlo @ifilwtmfc @iha8you @oneirophobic @20nugs @gracietaylorsversions @fenoy7 @mlimmm @prettysturniolo @ssturniolo @gabbylovesreading @oh-toseewithoutmy-eyes

[inamagicalhallucination]

did i already share it? well ill share it again ig

dazai after oda's death wandering around yokohama, a mess becuz someone so precious to him died, unable to understand the very human feelings he's feeling, perhaps feeling something so strongly for someone for the first time (at least whilst being aware that he is)

its night time now and he's crumpled up in some alley way not knowing what to do or how to process anything when someone calls out to him

he ignores it

they come near him

he reaches for his gun, angry at being approached by who ever the fuck-

"are you okay?" the voice asks, and dazai's so caught off guard even tho he shouldnt be - there r only two ppl after all - ppl who dont care and ppl who ask if ur okay to pretend that they do

oda was always an exception

he thinks he says fine and that should be the end of it and it is becuz the voice leaves and dazai tries to go back to breathing

except it comes back a while later with the familiar rustle of plastic bags and suddenly someone's in front of him, not touching, but close enough dazai cant ignore him, his hand tightens on his gun

"you look like you havent eaten" and in front of him, in a plastic bag, riceballs, water, and napkins

he stares

"you're well dressed" the voice says "so you probably have somewhere to go to" he doesnt "but you look hurt, covered in blood. if it was one of my students i would want someone to help them"

when dazai looks up the person in front of him doesn't look older than him

he's got long blond hair tied up, glasses, dressed in a black button up, a tan coat, and a stern look on his face

"i dont" dazai says even though he doesnt know why he's telling this strange man anything - but its true he has no where to go (chuuya's? but something stopped him before he could; ango's? that... if ango had been here... maybe oda wouldn't have-)

"dont what" dazai doesn't reply but the man seems to understand - his face falters for a second

"youngins these days, they never plan out anything. why would you spend money on expensive looking clothes and not rent out a place? my first priority was an apartment! i bought non necessary clothes after" the man scolds gesturing to his coat, dazai wants to reach for his gun again "whatever, you can stay with me for the night - i have a spare couch! this is a one time thing though! you better rent out a hotel room tomorrow!"

dazai stares at him in surprise, at his offer, his contradictory tone, voice, and words or simply the fact that someone can show such... kindness - dazai isnt sure

he doesn't remember agreeing - but he must have

must have agreed and followed the man back to his apartment, must have cleaned up the blood (odaodaoda) in his bathroom, must have eaten his food, drank his water and fallen asleep on his couch because thats where he is in the morning

its still dark out when dazai wakes up in an unfamiliar place and remembers the man

he has a feeling that the man will scold him for not immediately finding a place but let him stay for longer, but he cant stand to be here any longer

he needs to leave

go far far away from oda, the mafia, this man who showed him kindness for no reason as if oda was still here watching, making sure - he needs to go

there's only a brief hesitation when he sees the man's coat, so familiar to the one oda wears, hanging by the door, easy to grab and leave

he doesn't feel guilt when he takes it with him

he thinks of the man a few times here and there in the two years he spends wandering, waiting

he meets him again eventually, walking into the ada office with a fake backstory - he's there with the person he was told was the boss

when he looks over his eyes linger on the coat, a touch of something but not recognition

this is fine with dazai who puts on his best happy mask

"hey there! i'm here for a job interview! my name's dazai"

"Ah yes. My name is Fukuzawa, I am the president of the Agency. This is one of my employees, your future coworker if it all works out, Kunikida"

[terriblebicho]

The whole situation with the "most annoying tumblr user poll" thing is pissing me off a bit.

So they put somewhat popular blogs that get reblogged too often I guess against guy that constantly reblogs from actual nazis, (according to people in the notes, though I don't know who it is)an actual nazi, the child slavery reddit reposter, a pedophile and fuck knows what else, but everyone has mentioned it already because it's just so stupid it almost looks like deliberate ragebait.

But the thing that's the most fucked up is like, the complete disregard. There is no way the OP "couldn't have known" Sivi/tonysopranobignaturals would be negatively affected by being included in the poll. She was very open about her mental health in her blog and it would've taken a quick scroll to realize putting her in a poll that gives strangers a platform to spread rumors about her and judge her behind her back would be extremely fucked up. The OP of the poll said they got some submissions via ask but they never posted any of them so ¿?. And even if one wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt or they went like "heyyy I'm just doing what people tell me, I'm not choosing the participants, I'm just writing what was in the asks", shouldn't you as the organizer like, at the absolute least, run a background check for each "participant" to make sure you don´t accidentally drive harrassment towards someone in a vulnerable state? or idk, ask them about it?

Also it's not like once someone reaches a certain follower count they automatically stop being people, holy fuck.

Also the comment section was a hellpit.

"actually its the ppl complaining abt this poll who r annoyign. let ppl have fun", "actually the nazis in the poll aren't that bad this is the most annoying user poll and the nazis dont really bother me personally". Hey <3 what the actual fuck is wrong with you.

[iloveslllycatss]

accidental confessions with the inarizaki boys 🥺

(I turned my autocap off for this request <3)

𝙖𝙘𝙘𝙞𝙙��𝙣𝙩𝙖𝙡 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙛𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨

𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦, 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘨𝘰 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨?

𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 : 𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘢, 𝘢𝘵𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘶

𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴/𝘢𝘯 : 𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘣𝘤 𝘺𝘬, atsumu 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘵𝘺𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥 😞 (anon I actually love u for the autocap thing.)

r. suna ↴

✫ ok so for this you basically r watching the team practice (u r friends w them) and during the water break u decide to give ur good friend suna a call thinking it’s your best friend, ghalya (my irl best friend btw 😉). 

this whole day you’ve been thinking about one thing. whether u should or shouldn’t go watch your crush practice. the obvious answer was yes because you were friends with all the second years on the team, but in the back of ur mind you were rethinking the decision. so you decide to ask your best friend.

“bruh yes wth r u thinking ofc u should go 😐” 

ghalya looked at you as if you were the dumbest person in the world for letting the thought of not going cross your mind. “okok fine ig I will” you sigh, but then u get a idea “what if… YOU CAME WITH.”…. only to be answered with a 

“no. I’m not ab to go to a practice for ppl idk 😨.. and even if I wanted to I cant, I have to study for my exam next week” 

as if you ever study 🤨 is what you WANTED to say, but instead u settled for a “fine”. 

when u got to the practice the first person to notice your arrival was atsumu. “OMG Y/N HIII” he waved with a smile, gaining the attention of his teammates. after they all greeted you, you sat down watching them. your eyes constantly rerouting onto one person… suna. if you were being honest, your crush on him was FAT ASL. u were head over heels for this boy; not that you’d ever tell him.

during their water break you looked at him again, sweat dripping down from his hair as he drank his water, you kept looking at his hands. his pretty pretty hands, his long slender fingers and his short kept nails. as you started to examine his face, suna looked at you. after maintaining eye contact for a couple of seconds you looked away, flustered. his eyes were beautiful, a perfect shade of grayish yellow. they were practically glowing. so you did the normal thing to do, bother your best friend about it. 

you had taken your phone out of your pocket, opening the phone app and calling the 4th recently called person instead of the third.

“hello??” you start, leaving no room for response. “ghalya emergency. im FR ab to punch suna rintaro. why? u may ask. THIS MF. WITH HIS PRETTY ASS SELF DECIDES TO LOOK AT ME FOR A COUPLE SECONDS. like im already I’m love w u dont play. GHALYA PLZ I NEED HELP IM DYING FR.”

“umm… l/n????” 

“oh. okay. allow me to go kms.” 

when I tell u that u ran out. I mean u MF RAN OUT.  when you got home you called ghalya (actually her this time). and RANTED UR ASS AB IT until a certain someone  knocked on your front door. u went to look though the peephole, you saw him. so you fixed your hair and dusted your clothes rlly quick and opened the door. “hey-“ 

“ilikeyoutoo”

that was all he said, it was so quick and he barely muttered it, but you heard it so clear. and your jaw DROPPED. (not actually) “you WHAT?” you were FR in denial. “I said, I like you too” he said, slower this time. “so, do u think we could go to a cafe this sunday? as a date?” he had a blank face but you could tell he was kinda nervous. “yeah, I’d like that….. like I’d REALLY like that” you said without thinking. he smiled

after he left, you were laying in your bed those same words repeating in your head

I said I like you too

I said I like you too

I said I like you too

let’s just say, you were looking forward to your sunday

a. miya ↴

✫ okok so for this one, I feel like u just r stalking his insta or sum (fan behavior/yall r friends) and then u CALL HIM instead of ur best friend AKIRA. and rant about how good he looks 😞 

you were crying (not actually). not because you were sad but bc how FINE atsumu looked in his newest instagram post. you were laying on your stomach and KICKING UR FEET AND GIGGLING. u felt like an elementary school girl who had a crush on a boy. it was a selfie of atsumu after he had woke up, his bedhead was cute and all in his face, he was pouting and his eyebags were as visible as can be 😭. but somehow, he pulled it off. the picture was captioned “stupid ass brother CANT keep his mouth shut when I’m sleeping but at practice he don’t even call for the ball 😐” his comments were FILLED with girls saying things like “omg my pants suddenly fell off” or “don’t disrespect my man osamu like that!!!”…. 

you were jealous. 

so you just HAD to call your best friend akira to talk ab it. so you called and as soon as the phone was picked up you gave no room for anyone else to speak.

“omg. akira. I’m ab to give atsumu a big fat kiss bc why does he look so good. like IK I be talking ab him to u a lot and stuff but like HOLY SHIT. HOW CAN SOMEONE LOOK SO GOOD AND WAKE UP AT THE SAME TIME. but those girls in the comments can fr die bc like back off or wtv 🙄.”

“y/n??? u think I looked good 😏”

when I tell u your heart bursted out of ur chest I mean full ass HEART ATTACK. you ended that call so quick not even the flash could outdo you. 

2 minutes had passed and atsumu was spamming you with things like “Y/N ANSWER PLEASE” or “Y/NNNNNNNNNNNN IK U SEE THIS”. until one text message caught ur eye

“I like u too btw 🙄” 

ONLY THEN you answered with a “thats wild”

“oh so NOW you want to reply 🤨🙄”, you smiled at this, calling him back. “omg atsumus like soooo hot and  he my man fr!!” he mocked, you glared at the phone laughing sarcastically, then he added a “we should go on a date ykyk i pick u up at 6 tmrw and we go out ykyk i’ll make sure to make myself look extra good”. 

“yeah that would be great actually we should”

you both talked for a little after that, talking about your days and volleyball until you say u need to gtb.

“WAIT BEFORE YOU GO, about that big fat kiss…”

“good night atsumu.”

@/ilovesillycats

please don’t copy my work 😞

[liverpool-enjoyer]

hey yall forewarning this is easily the most embarrassing post ive ever made on here. like im not talking normal levels of tumblr cringe/oversharing, i mean youre probly gonna judge me and think somethings genuinely wrong with me. but i really need to get it off my chest so. yolo.

also tldr at the end in case you wanna spare yourself lmao.

mkay so recently i havent been online, because ive been really sad. and the reason im sad is that gavi got a girlfriend. which i realize is probly the stupidest and most juvenile thing to be sad over but hear me out (or dont lmao its a free country do whatever you want).

its not like i ever thought i had a chance with him or anything, im not stupid. but ive known for a very long time that, due to my asexuality (and other things but mostly that), i am never going to have love in my life. so for me, daydreaming and fantasizing about being gavis girlfriend was like,,, how i coped, i guess. it was a form of escapism for me. and now i cant do that anymore bc hes someones boyfriend and fantasizing abt another girls boyfriend just feels wrong. and pathetic.

it doesnt help that all my social medias have algorithmed so that hes all over all my feeds. and to be honest, looking at him just makes me think of his beautiful girlfriend who has everything i could ever want and i feel this horrible awful nauseating feeling in my stomach and i feel envious and sad and a slew of other things. it sucks that someone who once unknowingly made me so happy now does the exact opposite but hey what can you do.

i know it sounds stupid, but i dont think i'll ever feel for someone the way i feel about him. hes the most beautiful person ive ever laid eyes on and oh God i was right this does sound stupid ok lets continue

oh and let me be clear (you hafta read that in obamas voice) im aware that feeling this way toward a complete stranger (or anyone for that matter, but like especially a complete stranger) is EXTREMELY UNHEALTHY. unfortunately, knowing that my feelings and thoughts are unhealthy doesnt stop me from having them.

so yeah. now that ive lost my form of escapism, all i can think about at any given moment is how lonely im going to be. its hard to enjoy much of anything these days when all im thinking about is how im never going to receive romantic love, and now i cant even daydream about dating gavi to cope with it. because all i can think about when i try to is how hard his girlfriend would laugh if she found out some pathetic worm halfway across the world was fantasizing about her man.

so yeah thats it. i know that every time i angst abt my asexuality (which is a LOT like holy shit why do ppl still follow me), my friends tell me that its ok because im going to find someone someday. and i appreciate it, i really do. it means the world. but my friends saying that i'll find love doesnt make it true. plenty of people have died alone and unloved before, and i am going to be one of them.

tldr: a guy ive never met got a girlfriend n im having a depressive episode abt it LMAOOOO

[weixuldo]

Enigma// ch 18

anakin x reader

a/n: shit man, stuff is getting tough! i really didn’t think this fic was gonna b as long as it’s becoming hahaha/ ngl even if ppl r losing interest, im still gonna continue it for me heheh- i really like this story :)

The night gets worse and worse

warnings: cursing, cannon disabled character, insecurity, alcohol abuse, emtephobia (barf and stuff…), DONT DO WHAT ANAKIN DOES PLS LORD, ableist comments

_______________________________

As it does, time went by and you tried to move on.

When school ended you moved in with Ahsoka and split rent; it was nice having your best friend around whenever you needed it, plus the two of you shared groceries so the cost of living was much more affordable than if you had gotten your own place. 

As much as you tried to remove Anakin from your mind, he just wouldn’t seem to leave so you enlisted the help of a professional. 

You would go to therapy sessions twice a week; not solely because of Anakin but he definitely was part of it.

Mainly you went to try and deal with the reality of being such a young mother and work on letting your stress out in positive ways: though on occasion you would try to gain insight on your relationship with the older man.

When the therapist asked about him, you explained all he had been through and let her know you knew some of the reasons he acted the way he did; but your therapist assured you no matter the reasons, that didn’t negate the validity of your feelings. 

The first few times you went you were skeptical; how was talking to some random person supposed to help you feel relieved and emotionally stable?

But after a few sessions, you started to see a difference in your moods and outlook on things. 

It was a few days after Anakin’s results came in that Ash told you about the visit she paid Anakin; she recapped her argument with him, his relapse, and that she made him go to the clinic, she told you that she would relay his results to you as soon as she could. 

You worried that she would be upset that you didn’t tell her that he was the father or that the two of you were together, but she brushed it off, “I kinda had a feeling, ya know?”.

You felt bad that he relapsed and was all alone, but then you remembered he was alone on his own merit, his behavior pushed those who cared most away… it wasn’t your fault. 

You didn’t know how long fertility tests usually took, but you awaited the results anxiously.

Every day you woke up hoping that maybe he would reach out or that maybe he would show up at your door, but each time you only set yourself up for disappointment. 

It had been around a week after Ahsoka told you he got the test; sure these things took some time, but he should have the results by now.

You weighed the option of just asking him flat out because you were frankly over his asshole hermit bit. 

The weather was nice and you didn’t have any responsibilities today… ok, maybe you would pay him a visit. You rested a palm on your stomach as you bent over to grab your shoes from the shoe rack; you were definitely showing much more than you were during the first trimester. 

You were about to head out when your phone began to ring; it was Ahsoka.

“Hey Ash, what's up?” you asked as you searched for your keys. 

I finally got it

“Got what?”

It took a lot of coaxing, but I finally got the results

You stopped at the door and placed your keys back onto the counter top; maybe you wouldn’t have to see him. 

y/n…he’s viable.

A weight felt like it had been lifted from your chest, now he had undeniable proof you were telling the truth the whole time- everything he said was for nothing and you were vindicated. 

“That’s amazing news'' you exclaimed into the phone; surely your friend could hear the huge smile on your face just from your voice. 

Yea, but what are you going to do now? He’s the father and now he knows it… you aren’t just going to let him back in after all he did, right?

“No Ash, He knows the truth now and if he wants this or is mature enough, he will come to me and apologize. The ball is in his court” you explained.

Atta girl

You smiled at your friend’s support, “Thanks Ahsoka” 

Anytime

The phone call ended and you went back to your room- hopefully you would be hearing an apology soon or at least hearing from him in general. 

_______________________________________

Across town Anakin sat on his couch and absentmindedly flipped through the channels on his tv; he told Ahsoka the news this morning and it drained him to make the call.

Ahsoka thanked him for getting the test and asked how he felt about the news. He answered quickly and hung up. He knew she was going to tell you and that he should tell you himself and apologize. But what would that do?

It would just solidify that he was a complete asshole- you deserved so much better. Surely you would do the same that he did to you…shut you down completely and demand you leave. 

Maker, why was he such an arrogant shit?

His half drunk mind wasn’t operating at full capacity and he was making a lot of dumb rationalizations to his problems;

You already thought he was an asshole, so why even bother telling you the news himself? 

You deserved better so he should just disappear from your life and not weigh you down.

He really nothing going for him, so fuck it- he was gonna get shitfaced. 

Soon he had made his way back to the couch with a six pack of bud lite and he cracked the first one. Cheers to the pathetic joke that was his life. He gulped them down one by one and sooner than he thought, the pack was already gone. 

He had a good buzz going and went to fetch more but when he scanned his messy fridge for the tinted glass bottles he couldn’t find any. 

“Fuck” he muttered, that was his last case. 

He groaned and slammed the fridge door shut. There was nothing here to cure his itch for alcohol, so he decided tonight would be a great night to go out and get shitfaced in public, cause why the fuck not?

He got his phone out and grabbed one of the many styluses he had scattered through the house for his convenience. He called for an uber to pick him up.

As he waited he changed into pants, a long sleeve, and his gloves- it had been awhile since he had gone out and he forgot what a hassle it was to put all of that shit on. 

By the time he was dressed and collected his wallet, the uber was there. Anakin was an experienced drinker, so even though he already had six beers packed away, he could sober up if he needed to be able to get into the bar. 

The car he rode in was a nice sedan, it was silver and looked like a new model; the problem for Anakin was getting in. All of the cars he usually rode in (yours, Ahsoka’s, Ben’s, and his own) were bigger and sat higher up, so he wasn’t used to having to crouch down to get in. 

He sighed and placed a stiff hand on the roof of the car to steady himself as he lowered himself into the car; he sat with a thud and grunted.

The driver was probably only a few years his junior- he wore big circle glasses, a patterned button down and had a clean shaven face. He looked like a pushover.

Anakin winced at the overwhelming smell of eucalyptus that entered his senses; he wondered how this guy was driving for a job like this- how would he defend himself against a potential threat? By throwing his eucalyptus at them?

Ahh, what was he doing? He was being judgmental for no reason. 

“Are you alright sir?” the man asked.

“Yea, i’m fine,” Anakin said, crossing his arms. 

The man nodded and began to drive to the bar Anakin had entered into the app. 

The bar he wanted to go to was one in the heart of the city, he didn’t want to talk to anyone tonight, but he also didn’t want to be alone; this bar was perfect for that because there were always people doing some random shit that he could eavesdrop on. 

They pulled up to the curb and the driver parked the car. Anakin thanked the man and opened the door to exit. Maker, he was getting nauseous from that fucking air freshener. 

He swung one leg out of the car and pushed himself up with his opposite hand. He stood and grabbed onto the hood of the car with his hand; that was harder than it had to be… damn these prosthetics. 

Once he was standing he shut the door just as the driver was asking if he needed any assistance.

Groups of people crowded around the entrance of the establishment. Some were old regulars whose teeth looked like they were gonna fall out from all of the substances they abused and on the other side there were a group of younger kids who were trying to figure out who was going to try out their fake ID first. 

He scoffed as he pushed through both groups to get inside. The bar was warm and smelled of weed, smoke, and liquor- relief washed over the melancholic man, this is where he would be able to forget. 

An open barstool was soon occupied by him and a bartender quickly made her way down to his seat. 

“I’ll have some of that honey bourbon I've been hearing people rave about” he said, a $10 bill folded between his fingers. 

“Alright, hun, that’s commin’ right up” the busty lady on the other side of the counter said as she grabbed the 10 from his hand, her hand lingering longer than he liked. 

Anakin could tell she was trying to flirt to get a better tip; back before you, he would have gladly indulged her game and revel in every motion she would do to purposefully push up her breasts and flirt back 5 times harder than she was… but now, he had no desire.

All he could think of when she tried to flirt was how he’d much rather be having a quiet night with you, not some bartender who didn’t give a rat’s ass about his life.

His drink was placed in front of him and the woman smiled, “here you are handsome”.

Normally that wouldn’t bother him- she was just doing her job… But tonight he just couldn’t. 

Once he thanked her, she sauntered away; Anakin raised a judgey brow as she intentionally swayed her hips back and forth. When she was finally busy with another customer he called over one of the other bartenders.

“Hey man, you think you could serve me tonight, I don’t really appreciate all of her flirting” he said as blankly as he could. 

The man cleaning glasses on the other side of the mahogany surface chuckled and nodded, “haha, yes man, no problem. She does lay it on pretty hard sometimes, I get it”.

Anakin thanked the man and continued to down drinks. 

As it got later, more and more people began showing up and it became uncomfortably hot. The music started to give him a headache and the smoke was getting thicker; he knew it was time to go when he could hardly suppress his coughing (no thanks to his fucked up lungs). 

The cool evening air felt cleaner than it ever had before as Anakin stood a few yards down from the bar. He had gotten far enough out of the way that he could still hear and see the lights from inside but no line was around him.

He shoved his hands into his pockets and looked up at the sky; the city’s light pollution hid the stars; he still liked to imagine how they’d look. 

He had no idea how much he had in that bar, but he felt like it wasn’t enough- he needed to do something crazy- he needed to interact with people. He wasn’t completely gone yet, but he was pretty drunk (even if he wouldn’t admit it). 

He stumbled down the sidewalk as he made his way to another bar, not far from where he was, that was a “no-smoking” establishment; he wouldn’t have to worry about choking on air there.

The sidewalk seemed to move as he steadied himself by placing a hand on the wall of the buildings on the way to his destination. 

He was feeling pretty good; his problems were far from his mind, instead he was focusing on getting to the bar. He finally made it and attempted to sit on the barstool that just couldn’t seem to sit still. Eventually he caught a bartender’s attention and got set up there with a 20 oz draft beer. 

This bar was crowded too, but less head-pounding music and young adults. He sipped his drink peacefully as he watched the others in the bar; there were a few couples on dates, a group of guys playing pool, and another group throwing darts. 

He downed his beer and placed the glass on the bar as he waited for more- this was definitely one way to spend his army money. 

As he waited a brown haired woman came up behind him and placed a lingering hand on his shoulder.

“Hello, you look lonely tonight, anything I could help with?”.

The lady wore a dress that was way too short and it did not flatter her body at all. She smelled of overwhelming cheap perfume and beer. He was already over it. 

“Nah, I’m just fine,” he said, attempting to wave her off.

She caught one of his gloved hands and began taking off his covering as she asked, “ooh, you have very stiff hands, must be strong-lets see..”.

She managed to get the glove halfway up his palm before he snatched his hand to his chest; “what the fuck you think you’re doing?!” he hissed.

She laughed, “You’re like a robot or somethin’ haha, I’m sure I could please you better than that plastic could, and I only require a pack of cigs after, no monetary charge” she promoted proudly. 

“Not in a million years lady” Anakin mumbled as his cup was replaced with a full one. 

She scoffed and put her hands on her hips, “well that’s alright, I didn’t really want to fuck a cripple anyways”.

At that moment Anakin had the urge to grab her by that pathetic excuse of a dress and throw her against the nearest wall, but he knew he shouldn’t.

“Fuck off”

“No wonder you look lonely, with a personality like that you must be impossible to be around” she huffed before finding the next guy to latch on to. 

He was getting drunker and her words hit a little too close to home- he needed to be more wasted. He began to find random people who would do shots with him. Soon he was blacked out and drinking with everyone. 

“ and i-its its sooo fucked, ‘cause I… I really do love her, but she… I don’t think s-she… I don’t know, WHO WANTS TO DO MORE SHOTS?!” Anakin was everywhere.

He sat at the bar and did two hurricane shots right after another (where you drink it then get water thrown in your face then the bartender slaps you across the face). He was at the point that he couldn’t even feel that-he was gone. 

Though soon after, the shots began catching up with him and he started feeling nauseous. He laid his forehead down on the bar and puked in between his legs and the counter. Some people around offered to help and the bartender got him some water; he insisted he didn’t need it but the alcohol was definitely making him dehydrated. 

Through the middle of sounds he heard a staff member say, “someone needs to get him outta here, we can’t have him in the bar like this”. 

The fuck were they saying? He was completely fine. 

Before he could tell what was happening he was being carried out of the bar and was sitting on the curb outside. Fuck, what was going on?

Everything was blurry, he felt nauseous and all he could focus on was this sharp pain in his side and the pounding headache that was plaguing him.

________________________

Anakin had no idea where he was, but he knew he didn’t feel good. He sat up and puked.

He felt a hand on his back and was about to protest when another wave of nausea hit- when would it end?

More shit happened in a blur and he eventually made it into an Uber and headed home. 

————-about two hours earlier—————

After he was thrown out of the bar downtown he was picked up by a group of frat boys who thought it would be cool to challenge a random drunk guy to a drinking contest.

In his inebriated state, Anakin went with the men (even though they basically had to carry him to the club they were going to). 

No one in their right mind would still allow Anakin to consume drinks, he was visibly not well and clearly needed to be cut off; but that wouldn’t be any fun for the frat.

They took him to a club where they frequented so the staff allowed them to do whatever the fuck they wanted. 

Anakin continued to drink and drink… and drink. 

Once he started puking again, one of the relatively kinder boys took time to ask his address and got him an uber home.

And that's where Anakin was now. 

He rested his forehead against the back window of the sedan and the driver drove quickly; he was probably worried that Anakin was going to yak in the back of his car. They arrived at Anakin’s apartment in decent time and the driver asked Anakin to leave. 

Anakin nodded and tried to get up but he couldn’t quite get his footing; the driver huffed and helped him out of the car. 

The driver helped Anakin into the house and saw some cash lying on the end table; sure, he helped Anakin inside but that didn’t mean this guy was a saint. 

Anakin leaned against the wall for support the driver swiped the cash and dashed out of the door. He had no clue what happened or what was going on, all he knew was that he felt awful and he needed to get to bed. 

He headed that way but he tripped over himself and landed on the floor with a thud.

A groan escaped him and his vision went black. 

***

a/n: more self destructive behavior… what’s new? lolll, srry the updates have been spaced out a bit, i’ve been doing a lot at work haha

taglist : @dnamht @sxoulohvn @angeelcoree @wtf-andys @httpeachesblog @katsukiswrld @jetiikote @poisonedsultana @imarimone12 @fallinlovewithevil