#i dont know why im so sure i have it because i know
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𝐖𝐡at Happens 𝐢𝐧 𝐓𝐞𝐱𝐚𝐬… | 𝐎𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫 𝐏𝐢𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢
SUMMARY★ the internet gets suspicious after Oscar Piastri’s childhood best friend shows up to the USA GP after swearing off races a year ago…
(multiple face claims)
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y/nusername home sweet home *read in southern mama accent*
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oscarpiastri: hey! no way i’m going to be there too what a coincidence!
➜ y/nusername: its not a coincidence im stalking you
➜ oscarpiastri: 😀 what.
y/nbff: tell me you’re joking
➜ y/nusername: lemme tell you something... LEMME TELL YOU SUMTHING!
user1234: why does @y/nbff sound mad? Did she not tell her bsf or something?
➜ user999: don’t quote me on this but i’m pretty sure it has to do with the drama about y/n and her ex.
➜ user 1234: wait what?!? Im new what is that???
➜ f1updatesfans: well like i think 2 years ago y/n was seen around with this guy while she was in Austin (her home town) for the USA race.
➜ f1updatesfans: Then suddenly he like disappeared and y/n didn’t go to another race since. but now apparently she’s going to this one??? it’s all very speculative but yeah.
➜ user1234: ok but what does y/n have to do with formula one? Wait was she dating a driver?
➜ f1updatesfans: No! I dont think so... And shes Oscar’s friend I think. Best friend.
imessages- y/n's POV
Once y/n got off of the plane and through the gate, she stood waiting for Oscar. Considering he was already in town for the race, he had no problem coming to get her. They were best friends after all.
y/n had a hand on her suitcase and leaned against a pillar. She looked worn out and utterly tired. Her eye bags could practically be called carry-on luggage. She rested her head on the wall and scrolled through her contacts before choosing Oscar's name.
Her phone only rang once before Oscar's voice answered from the other side.
"Hey, y/n." He said in his signature sweet tone that always made y/n smile. The corner of her mouth lifted at his voice while she closed her eyes. Maybe tired was an understatement.
She was exhausted. Usually she just sleeps on planes, but for the whole 6-hour trip she never dozed off. The closest she got was simply closing her eyes.
She couldn't sleep. Not when she was so worried about what would happen once she landed.
"Yeah, hey Oscar." she murmured, and let out a long yawn. "My gate is A6." She held her phone between her shoulder and cheek while she tried to fish out her wallet from her purse.
"You good? You sound tired. Or sad. I can't really tell over the phone." Oscar spoke through the speaker pressed up against her ear.
"Yes, I'm fine..." Once she found her wallet, she pulled out cash to buy something to drink at the mini market across from her gate.
"Oh, I see you! Stop walking I'm coming to your right now." Oscar said quickly. Y/n looked around her, trying to find him. Eventually, she spotted his familiar smile.
They both hung up the phone as Oscar got closer. He was smiling at her, almost smirking really. When he stood next to her, he took a moment to look at her state, no doubt remembering it to make fun of later.
Y/n smiled back and then continued walking to the minimarket, with Oscar alongside her.
Once she got her water, they both started walking towards the exit.
"Here, I can take this." Oscar stopped y/n and put his hand on top of her hand which was holding her suitcase. His touch felt familiar and warm. His hands always felt rougher than they looked, but y/n felt comfort in knowing it was Oscar. At first, she didn't speak.
She was too busy staring at their hands because something different was happening.
She felt different. Suddenly, she wanted his hand to never leave. She wanted his hand to grab hers and lace their fingers. She wanted his hand to touch her more.
She shook her head and looked away from their hands. She must be really tired, and sleep deprived.
Instead of agreeing verbally, y/n just let go, suddenly conscious of Oscar's burning touch, and nodded, letting him take her suitcase.
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ynusername airport fit check
photo credits: lando norris’s teammate, i think?
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oscarpiastri shut up
landonorris *my future boyfriend
➜ ynusername LANDO WHAT! is this a hard launch for you two???? wdym your bf
➜ landonorris WAIT HAHA NO I MEANT MY AS IT YOURS
➜ landonorris I WAS CORRECTING YOU AS YOU
➜ landonorris WAIT DONT
➜ landonorris i’m deleting this.
comment and thread deleted
comments on this post are limited
imessages- oscar's POV
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imessage- oscar's POV
"Who are you texting?" Y/n asked casually, wanting to start conversation. She sat comfortable in a sofa across from him. Originally, they were both laying down on the sofa's facing each other, a table in the middle.
But once Oscar got the first message, he sat up quickly.
At one point y/n caught him looking at her, with the most confused face she's seen on him, but he just went back to typing.
"What?" His head shot up from his phone, and his eyes got wide.
"I asked who you were texting." She replied. Y/n sat up slowly, matching him and then leaned in, with her elbows on her knees, hands clasped together.
"Oh. um. no one. Just Lando"
"Oh ok." This conversation was just making her more bored, and she wanted to talk to Oscar. There was a beat of silence before she spoke again. "What about?"
"Hmm?" Oscar seemed extremely distracted.
"What about?"
Instead of answering, he ran a hand through his hair and looked down. Y/n was going to ask what was wrong but he suddenly stood up and walked around the sofa.
He was still silent, and he changed positions to now stand behind the sofa and leaned on back, arm folded, facing away from her.
"Osc-" Y/n was going to ask why he was so distracted, but he cut her off.
He turned around, now looking her in the eye. "y/n can I ask you something?"
Now y/n was worried, because what could be on his mind that he needed to ask her about.
"Of course, Osc"
Oscar looked at her as she waited for his question. Like really looked at her. She was wearing Mclaren merch with his number on the back of course. She looked gorgeous. The realization made Oscar run a hand through his hair again, no doubt messing it up this time.
"It's kind of personal, y/n. I understand why you haven't said anything about it before. It's your personal life and I want you to know that i understand."
"Oscar what-"
"Is your ex in Austin?"
Y/n was surprised to say the least. She knew that questions about her past relationship would come up, but Oscar asking was surprising. She told him last year about how her ex broke up with her.
She was devastated. He had broken up with her over the phone, on the way back from last year's Austin Grand Prix. His reasons were stupid, and his apologies sounded incredibly forced.
She immediately called Oscar and told him everything. Well, everything except from his name. Oscar can be protective when it comes to y/n, so she kept her ex's name secret. It sounds stupid now that she thinks about it because even if Oscar did get mad, he would never do anything Y/n didn't like.
"Yeah. He's here, in Austin, but I haven't talked to him at all. You know what he did, and I want nothing to do with him." Y/n didn't know why she was trying to explain herself so much. She felt like she needed to make it known that there was nothing between her and her ex anymore. What this had to do with Oscar? she didn't know.
He nodded and walked towards her. They both sat next to each other on the small sofa while Oscar overthought everything.
"You want nothing to do with him? like at all? because Lando was making me think that you were possibly here to get back together with him..." He needed to know for sure.
"What? Oscar not of course. Why would Lando think that?"
"I don't know." he was going to run a hand through his hair for the third time, but y/n grabbed his wrist instead. She held his hand softly and intertwined their fingers.
Oscar felt relieved. Y/n was probably wondering why Oscar had so many sudden questions about her love life, but neither of them brought up the suddenness of the conversation. They instead sat close together; hands intertwined, hoping that the other couldn't tell how fast their heart is beating at the they're simple touch.
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oscarpiastri new merch that even I'd wear (it's a white shirt, get it?)
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ynusername cool now I have another shirt i can steal
➜ oscarpiastri get your own! https://mclaren.com
➜ oscarpiastri hope this helps!
➜ ynusername you're going to give it to me anyways I know it
➜ oscarpiastri probably...
landonorris @.ynusername where have you beeeeeen I haven't seen you all weekend
➜ ynusername clearing my calendar for you right now!
➜ landonorris tell oscar to stop keeping you to himself!!!
➜ oscarpiastri no go away
➜ landonorris *cough* jealous *cough*
➜ oscarpiastri 😐 that’s enough
Twitter
2 days later, and neither Y/n nor Oscar had made any progress on acknowledging their feelings. Even the internet and gossip columns knew more about it then each other.
a/n:
just a small smau i wanted to try. i’ve never done one of these types of stories, so sorry if its bad or confusing!
not sure if i’ll do a part 2…do we like?
#f1#formula 1#fanfiction#writing#f1 x reader#formula one#f1 imagine#oscarpiastri#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri one shot#oscar piastri smau#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri x you#osc#oscar piastri
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i actually dont even gaf. i dont care if this is old news idc if everyone already noticed it idc if im late on pointing it out idc!!! ive been brainrotting about this for 3 days now and i'm gonna talk about it because oh my god THE IMPLICATIONS I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT THEM
Okay so TBOB, great book, canonized billf*rd, "stanley couldve made her laugh" and "but then he crossed the line" yadda yadda, we're all here because stan and bill, the two closest people to ford both call him sixer and are thematic narrative parallels and hey thats pretty god damn brocon of you stanford pines to fuck a triangle that parallels your brother in the story and also calls you the childhood nickname your brother and only your brother calls you. and like thats pretty god damn damning enough
why does he go out of his way to write his and bill's conversations using two different scripts
and why does he write bill's dialogue like that when bill's handwriting looks like this
"maybe its just because ford just wants to give bill a unique handwriting when he writes their conversations it doesnt have to match bill's" yeah sure okay
but it sure as hell isnt unique when he's copying stan's handwriting down cold to the god damn letter
BUT HE DOES.
WHY DOES HE DO THAT. why on earth does he do that. is it subconcious. why does he write bill's dialogue (and i DO mean only bill— he never quotes fiddleford directly in tbob, and uses terms like "he explained" whenever fiddleford tells him something) in STAN'S handwriting. his brothers handwriting. for all this flirty ass exchanges, ford is writing it in his own and his brothers handwriting.
they really, REALLY couldve just easily used bill's personal handwriting for this— wouldve been romantic as hell for ford to get bill's handwriting down in all honesty. but its not its his brothers handwriting. ford is writing all that in STANS handwriting. like is that not fucking crazy
like lets not even cover the fact that in universe he knows how to copy stan's handwriting AT ALL and thats counting the fact that atp hes estranged from stan by about a whole decade. like. HELLO? Stanford pines you obsessive freak brocon you are beyond insane
(and for extra reference, mabel and dipper's handwriting + ford not giving fiddleford any unique dialogue and special handwriting.)
#stancest#archive#i have not been able to be normal when i sat down and thought about the impljcations of this like#wtf is stanfords problem oh my fucking god#and the is stancest obviously isnt canon but holy fucking shit what the hell ford
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— this fandom has a vast misogynoirist problem and, yes, this also applies to YOU reading this right now; a post filled w unsorted thoughts you should read if you genuinely want black fans to feel safe in fandom spaces with you
i am going to preface this right away w how disappointed i am in some of the people who follow me, who will occasionally like a post calling out misogynoir but only if its comfortable and only if its worded nicely and only if its against someone they dislike and not someone they do like. i am directly talking to my non-black followers because i do not expect black fans to expose themselves to this kind of hatred and thinly (and not so thinly) veiled racism we are faced w on a daily basis. some of you have a big following and a big portion of that following is white and YOU have the opportunity to use your POWER (and, yes, even in fandoms there are different power dynamics because logging onto twitter dot com does not remove the burden of blackness within overtly white spaces, this too is a space where having white privileges will get you places) and talk about these issues that have been becoming more and more prevalent.
our voices are not heard and when they are heard they get twisted by white and non-black fans who prioritize their love for shipping and their male centeredness over racism within fandom and more importantly: racism that is perpetuated by them. a very loud portion of this fandom has painted an image of "angry black women" without ever actually calling them black women because they are socially aware enough to know that it is racist to say so. instead they say it in different ways: they call us rabid, they call us delusional, they call us homophobic straights and love to strip us of our queerness in the same breath, they call us ableists even though this fandom has had several conversations about this, they call us aggressive, they say we are jealous of a mlm ship, they say we are irrational, they call us everything but the one thing we are: black. yet the painted picture is very clear to me and surely every other black person who has ever engaged dominantly white spaces: the big black bully! this is the easiest way to "aggressive black woman" your way through genuine critcism without ever saying it w those words nor acknowledging the thing you are criticized for.
and it becomes even more obvious when you read-over and over again-those attempts at demonizing an overtly black part of fandom (which mel/meljay fandom is and which i will come back to later) while NONE ever mention the things black people ARE saying because whenever you get ratioed for cuck art, whenever you get asked why you erase mel from the story, whenever people ask where mel is in arcane character group arts, whenever you mischaracterize mel for a mlm ship, whenever you strip her of her feelings, whenever you make her an abuser, whenever you dehuminaze her, whenever you deify her, whenever you cry that you cannot criticize her yet dont ever criticize her outside of that ship you so like, whenever any of this happens black fans HAVE and WILL tell you that this is antiblack, its misogynistic, but most of all-since a word for this phenomenon already exists-it is misogynoir. you are participating in misogynoir. your every like is supporting misogynoir. the active erasure of a black woman in fandom is misogynoir. whenever you strip black fans of their credibility to speak out against racism bc we are just "crazy shippers on an agenda", that is misogynoir too. people who arent in this fandom have been clocking this. they see us saying this. they avoid watching the show or engaging w this fandom because the misogynoir is so prevalent here and it is unchallenged by everyone but black people and a few allys who actually mean their shit when they talk about allyship.
the rest of you barely skim our texts or just go "well im not racist so this doesnt apply to me" instead of listening to us trying to explain what the issue is. you guys are so sure that you are a good ally, that you arent racist, that nothing you do is ever misogynoirist, yet you dont even realize that you dismiss or even silence black voices you dont like by villainizing every black fan who wants to talk about this and uplifting every black person who says the things you want to hear. to the point that a black user here can use the hard r and white people are trying to educate black people why that is okay or isnt okay. all while that person even apologized and had to tell you guys to not speak over black people in defense of them. do you not see that you are tokenizing the black voices you deem comfortable while ignoring every voice that asks for a little bit of accountability in your contribution to the horrid antiblackness on arcanetwt?
but, no, no, rest assured this doesnt just apply to the fans but to the character in question too after all there is a reason why meltwt/meljaytwt is so outspoken on this. it isnt about her partner being shipped w someone else, most of us dont even care for the ship, our issue is the constant attempt at erasing her from the relationship she was in and those are two completely different things even if you blatantly choose to look the other way and fabricate lies. mel medarda, despite always being spoken about as beautiful and complex and such a great character, so far even that people say they want her to leave jayce so they can have her for herself, has a very small following. she has less fics on ao3 than the others, barely any x reader ship despite so many people claiming to shipping themselves with her, she gets less solo art and even less w other people or her canonical ship. she is constantly being othered. just recently we had someone exclude her from group art and saying she was the teacher while her same aged peers were drawn as students. to many she simply doesnt exist and if you care about mel, if you actually do like her, if you seek out her content, this becomes abundantly clear real quick: mel does not exist as a main character to arcanetwt.
she is a side character to many of you. she is a side character like any other black women in fiction because you as fans were conditioned by young age to view black women as that. you are surrounded by the sassy black best friend, the angry black woman, the disposable black girlfriend who will always just be a temporary love interest, side character a and side character b - you grew up in a world where you view black women like that. that is why her fandom is so small. just like any other black female characters are small. no other main character gets this type of treatment other than her. and that her fandom is so small is just another indicator for that. and that it mostly consists of black fans is another indicator too because those very often are the only ones capable to see a black woman as a character in herself and not just a nice compliment in a sentence in between. this, too, is misogynoir btw and saying "well i just prefer this and this character" only works so many times before you gotta put the work in and question your racial bias and i am telling you YOU HAVE TO to OVERCOME that and i am telling you that because i too used to not care about black female characters.
i grew up in a very white society and was one of those kids who were trying to be as white as possible to cater to white ppl and i had to actively unlearn to ignore dark skinned women in any media and woah let me tell you once you do you realize there are so many beautiful characters to obsess over and so many new people to meet and it WILL change your view on a lot of things in fandom and it will make you AWARE and that is a good thing. you should be woke. being woke is a good thing no matter how many people say it isnt. its just nobody can do this for you but you yourself. you will see the mistreatment of fans and you will get angry about this and you will get uncomfortable too bc you might be nonblack you might even be white but that is just what it is and how its going to be and i appeal to you to be loud w us as well, to fight for a fandom space where white fans arent the only ones who get to enjoy sillies and whimsicals, where we can move and have fun w/o being confronted w unchallenged racism and people being too proud to work on their biases or even take any critcism, i beg you to not gaf about aesthetics and what you want your blog to look like and i beg you to not gaf about what your peers might think of you bc trust me you do not want to be the person belittling antiblackness for the sake of getting a few likes on an art piece where two people you like smooch.
this affects real black people even if arcanetwt wants to say we arent real or dont care about black issues. this is a black issue just like it'd be w any recreational activity
#arcane#mel medarda#racism in fandoms#posted this on twitter but tumblr definitely needs to hear this too#kds.txt
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27 Asks! Thank you! :}} 💞
@peaspods
I might not be understanding, but I'm imagining this as people opening up commissions so people can give them money and they can turn around and donate that money to me..
I fear that this would create the opportunity to scam people.. "I'm taking commissions on behalf of Factual Fantasy! They're very sick so please commission me!" only for them to run away with the money they make..
I've been thinking a lot about setting up some kind of commission/donation thing because I'm starting to kind'a need the money.. but idk, I'm just kind'a run down and need some time to keep thinking about it. Thank you very much though <:)))
@zecromgen5
Thank you very much! :) And I've been hanging in there.. there hasn't been much improvement to my health or my mental state. The fact that in April it will officially been over a year since my health started to decline, and the fact that I'm going to spend my birthday at home collapsed on the couch has made me feel very sad <:( But I'm doing my best to work on it.. I'm hoping this new advice from my doctor helps me feel better <:)
And something good HAS happened actually, I got my tablet/FireAlpaca to work again! :))
XDD SJKFJSH AWW! THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DDD
I've only seen a bit of it from Markiplier. So far I'm 50/50. Somethings I like and others I don't care for 😅
@neo-metalscottic
Thank you so much! :D 'm glad you've liked my recent artwork!! :}}}}
Also for Homes eyes, that was just meant to represent its oppressive presence and the fact that its watching them in that moment.. 👁️👁️
And I don't have any plans for any of the neighbors or Wally to figure out the house is alive. My AU is more like "a day in the life of" thing. Having someone discover Home is alive would move the plot forward. Which I don't feel like doing <XDD
Now communication... Home understands the concept, but he has no way of communicating other than creaking the floorboards and slamming doors..
I've heard about the well. That could work for Cliffjumper and Breakdown maybe.. and the twins perhaps.? But wouldn't they have to have Tailgates body in order to revive him? Hmmm.. idk actually,,
I've watched the bayverse movies, most of Prime and a few other things here and there. I didn't mind the bayverse movies that much, but I can see why a lot of people don't like them <XD
I just imaging trying to consume more than one Transformers media would be a lot to take on.. and I also don't like the animation styles of most other transformers shows 😅
(That's actually how I decided to watch Prime. I took a look at all the shows and went "this one looks ugly, this one looks ugly,, this one looks REALLY ugly.. Oh, this one doesn't look half bad. TFP it is then!")
@acreaturecalledkyfa
I've watched Markipliers first video on it. So far I'm not sure how I feel about those two 😅
The way I immediately opened YouTube and went looking for it XDD
@fandomcenteral (Link in ask)
Thank you so much! :DD This will come in handy!
@mason-gaylord
Aw! Thank you so much!! 🥰🥰
@im-nice-but-i-dont-like-you
Jangles would be a helicopter probably, Gerald would be a tank, Cici would be a Miata and Bibi would be a slightly raised up Miata XDD
Aw, I'm honored that you miss them <:}} Though I don't know if I'll draw them anytime soon.. I'm really not into inserted OCs anymore <:(
I'm waiting on Markiplier to release more videos on it <XD
@fadlingartisanfreakwinner
I like to imagine that Pokémon can learn dozens of moves. But 4 is the limit for official Pokémon battles. So any wild Pokémon in my comics can use/learn as many as they want :0
And yeah, they had that chat eventually. I just never got around to drawing it 😅
@wolfie-777
Nah nah its just iced tea XDDD
@whereismycupofcoffee
:DDD Thank you so much!! :}}}}
AAAA THANKYOU SO MCUHH!! :DDDD
@nuggybee
Yeahh,, Sky has its ups and downs. I'm currently in one of its downs. It seems like I'm let down by everything they're releasing 😓
@smithanonsworld
I feel like I've never seen a rabbit that color... its so cute 😭💞💞💞
@heaventhehedgi3
That sounds like me! Though I don't draw Octonauts anymore 😅
I'll keep it in mind! :0
🥹🥹🥹Aw... that's so sweet! Thank you so much!! 😭💞💞
@captain-skyler1987
You made an account just to follow me? :DD Aw that's so sweet! :) Thank you!
Also I'm sorry to hear you got the flu :(( I hope you're better by now!
I also have not played Dandy's world 😅
@stargirldrawsx3
The first thing that came to mind was very anxious all the time 😅
@network-warrior-01
Ah, that was an April fools post. <XD There is no drawing
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sorry for the random vent, but this whole transandrophobia discussion is making me so sad. or more ike.. the reaction to it.
Like... the trans people I know irl (be it transmasc, transfem, nonbinary, something else...) are AWESOME. Supportive and kind, a community. Yet, for some reason, on tumblr there's such animosity?? Over transmascs wanting to talk about their oppression?? And sure, some of that is probably terfs wanting to break us apart, but i dont think that's all it is. And I just... why do we get called horrible things, like transmisogynist, antifeminist, MRA, for that? I've had literal trans guys tell me they hate all trans men that talk about transandrophobia, because it's a "dog whistle" for hating trans women? When it's literally not?? like. i feel like i'm going a bit insane. I get told absolute vile things that "transadrobros" are apparently saying, but i never seem to witness it first hand. the reaction to a bunch of people talking about their own oppression is literally making me feel gaslighted about what is, and isn't being said.
Why can't online spaces be more like irl? Why can't we lift each other up, protect each other, listen? I hope it will be like that again. But NOT by silencing trans mens struggles, villifying them and sweeping everything under the rug. But at this point, i fear that's where it's heading. Idk if it's the majority of the trans community thinking like this, or if their voices are just very loud, but it's making me feel alone.
it's great to hear you have good irl spaces like that, that's awesome. and i've had the same experience irl as well, as people im extremely close to online.
i agree so hard. i dont understand why people who say transandrobro aren't being called out on it. i don't understand why people who start misgendering trans men and mascs when they don't agree with them don't get called out on it. i don't get why people who shit on intersex trans people don't get called out on it. i don't get why people who are awful to nonbinary, genderqueer, gnc and other gender variant people and don't get called out on it. it's awful.
being called an mra hatefully is so exhausting. why do people think thats a bad thing in this context. trans men are treated like shit. ive seen people freak out over the word transmisandry. it doesn't matter what it's called, it's real. people in the queer community are treating masc queer people like shit. people do it outside too but people are doing it inside rn. people are not allowing queer masculine people to talk about anything right now and it just sucks
transmascs get called terfs constantly despite being trans men. they get called transmisogynists. it's so hard to criticize anything transfeminine people do without getting attacked. it's so hard to address transandrophobia inside of queer spaces without getting attacked. it's so hard to point out that everyone has internalized bigotry to let go of no matter what without getting attacked. it sucks
people take the pain cishet patriarchy has caused them and take it out on trans men and mascs instead of the establishment that holds them down. it sucks. the fact that transmascs legitimately just cant dole out criticism anymore without getting called a slew of awful names is just. come on. people tell trans men to die every day. people tell trans men they're confused girls every day. i always get misgendered when somene disagrees with me. people always treat me like i'm an unreliable narrator for being a hysterical cis woman who wants to be special
it sucks. im sorry you go through this too. people are so hostile right now its getting to be not worth it
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SPEAKING OF RYUJI ive been thinking of adding his own crashout to the okumura arc at the same time as mona. because drama.
like. i know. i know everybody collectively goes UUHHHHGGGG during this part and i get why. i totally get it. its frustrating cause you just wanna shake the characters and tell them to talk to each other. (and i think a lot of people are frustrated by it because they just Dont like morgana and think hes annoying. none of that here)
not to mention how it overshadowed harus intro arc (which is also why im still debating it) but i feel like this could be remedied by. introducing haru earlier. we meet goro in june and he doesnt join the team til november. no reason we cant set haru up early too.
is this behavior in character for morgana? yeah id say so. could it have been written more smoothly? very yeah. listen i could go on about morgana and why this crashout of his Works with his arc and why characters like him are so squeezy toy to my brain BUT. later. ryuji time
i know ryuji isnt really the kind of kid to hold grudges. every time someone he cares about is angry with him, he thinks its more or less acceptable if they take it out on him. its just all he knows (but its not really okay!) but hes gone through the grueling psychological trauma of an awakening and. the truth of the matter is. kamoshida isnt the only person who he should tell to stop looking down on him
morgana does it all the time. and its rare i hear any objections from the gang other than a “will both of you knock it off” as if ryuji isnt outright being provoked. and yeah you could say this is just how they are. ryuji is a teenager and morgana is like two. communication blunders of the ages. ect.
and i do think this is part of it. some people have friendships full of teasing and ribbing on each other. but they Lead with Nice. you have to like. treat someone with enough kindness to warrant being able to playfully dig at them as a friend and morgana.
hasnt? sure theyre able to rely on each other as team mates but mona is just needlessly a little bitch. a lot.
i think the two do genuinely care about each other. that they can act like friends and they are friends. but. consider. its not enough that morgana has to stop being mean. morgana should have to be nice.
because when mona says “ryuji you idiot” or “you dumb monkey” or “youre pathetic” ryuji does, in fact, Not hear “ryuji i know you can do better” its literally just words hes endured for years at this point. and again!! i dont think mona has treated him nice enough to reach bullying privileges!
morgana has set the tone for pretty much every interaction he has with ryuji and the kid is just meeting him where hes at. which is why ryuji so easily calls morgana useless and thinks nothing of it. i mean (gestures to everything morgana says to him that the gang regards as normal and fine)
and the gang needs to object a lot more loudly to the ryuji slander. but they dont. and i think ryuji should have his own crashout moment because hes sick of morgana dragging him and no one really saying anything. they should have to have this moment where theyre like. aw fuck have we been bad friends? shit
and also realize that. them enabling mona to bully ryuji does not exist in a vacuum. it has consequences. and has in part fostered the dynamic that has ryuji so easily insulting mona. which leads to the cat running off in the first place
#persona 5#persona 5 royal#p5r#p5#ryuji sakamoto#morgana p5#p5 apotelesma#ch. ryuji#ch. morgana#apotelesmeta
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part 1 of random love interests headcanons because i need to get these worms out of my brain ASAP!!! i did sydney, kylar, and whitney
(mostly sfw for now, all gender neutral)
sydney
ive already well established that even if it isn’t obvious at surface level, sydney is a mixture of many deep rooted issues and though they arent aware of it they are suffering from those issues. one of those issues being overlooked and undiagnosed ocd.
for their sake, they need everything in front of them to always be organized and tidy (whether its the library registry counter or their desk at home or school). if its not neat, they wouldn’t be upset, they’d be more than happy to clean it up again! it also why theyre always helping out the initiates clean the bunks and the garden. they love cleaning up, love the sense of accomplishment it brings, love the feeling of being in control of something.
this is also the same reason why their so studious and even a little obsessive over their grades in school. they dont notice it, but its all about control over things they cant control. they love the sense of accomplishment of having good grades brings for themself, and they love the praise it brings from sirris and jordan.
speaking of praise ehehe theres no they wouldnt have a praise kink. im pretty sure sydney has the biggest praise kink in all of doltown and thats saying something ! the praise from their family and teachers is great and all, but what really gets them going is praise from pc. its so easy to give them a mind numbing orgasm just say the bare minimum praise and they’ll melt instantaneously.
this is canon im sure, but the reason why sydney doesn’t get molested or harassed in the temple is because their parent was a high ranking member and because theyre under jordans wing. so for the degenerate members that live/ work know that sydney is entirely off limits. sydney isn’t stupid so they have to aware of what goes on in the temple to some degree — they just do a very good job of ignoring it hence the line “seemingly trying to ignore something awful”. even corrupt syndey does this so i imagine that their faith must mean alot more to them that meets the eye.
sydney is unintentionally really fashionable, but not because they have an interest in fashion or even know whats considered fashionable, but because sirris has good taste. when they go out they get compliments from strangers about it and it makes them flustered.
cries when they have sex
kylar
harbors alot of resentment towards the temple and its members (exculding sydney and pc if theyre involved). they know that they had something to do with his parents, and knows that theyre being avoided by temple members. kylar hates them so much but doesnt care enough about themself to do anything drastic towards them.
kylar has completely given up on trying to improve their situation in any way. they gave up a long time ago. i like to think in the beginning, after the initial shock and dread mostly wore off, they did try to find something, any clue that would lead to a semi acceptable answer but they quickly gave up and abandoned all hope.
i said it in another post this is why they latch onto pc so intensely, they literally have nothing else going for them anymore.
even in their least jealous state, kylar has become so warped by being shunned by everyone and loneliness that they dont have the self awareness to realize what their doing is wrong. theyre so manic with finally being able to feel alive again and finally having someone else that they theres no room for any reluctance or hesitancy. their not letting pc leave them alone again, not ever.
despite their small stature kylar is very athletically capable. not in tests of strength but in stamina, they cant beat whitney in a fight but they could totally run faster than them.
probably canon again but kylar excels at science because not only is it their favorite subject but because their parents had really sciency careers and encouraged them alot as a child.
even though kylar is a pervert creep theyre still really capable sexually? what i mean by this is that even though kylar seems like the kind of person who got all of their sexual knowledge from porn and anime doujinshi’s they still know how to make their partner finish. thats because they didnt get it from porn, they learned it from medical science. dont ask me how i can just feel it
doesnt cry when they have sex, but wails when they cum
whitney
some fanon interpretations of whitney are either “whitney is a tsundere” and “whitney is just an asshole” and my interpretation is strictly both. whitney is both a massive tsundere, and a massive asshole.
chainsmoker, though its more apparent when theyre alone. if they decided to walk alone though the town they’d finish an entire pack and not notice/ care
almost never seen smiling when theyre alone either. they either always look aloof or pissed off when no ones around.
is totally capable of getting easily embarrassed, just when theyre alone. say something like , kissing their hand or saying something that caught them off guard. in private they would just call you a stupid slut while stuttering, with their friends they’d either laugh it off or beat the shit out of you
despite the fact that she was wearing a chastity belt and didnt touch whitney at all, my pc still managed to make them cum nearly every encounter they had with whitney. this lead me to headcanon whitney as a total quickshot. like embarrassingly fast. they’ve learned to mostly conceal it in public but even if they didnt no one would dare to bring it up in from of them
i havent got the scene yet so im not sure if this is canon or not, but i think at high love whitney would allow you to sleep with one of their plushies for the night, as long as you give it back to them in the morning
not that i ever thought they were stupid or anything, but whitney is really smart. they fail at academics on purpose because getting high grades means you have lower status
whitney doesn’t cry during sex or when they cum (unless theyre getting nonconned 🩷) but they would find it really hot if pc cries during sex. dacryphilia for this one. when its noncon its annoying, but still hot. when its consensual they probably get mored even turned on and try to make them cry harder
#dol#degrees of lewdity#dol headcanons#sydney the faithful#sydney the fallen#kylar the loner#whitney the bully#i want to make a gendered post too#but it wouldnt be as long i dont think
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WHAT DO YOU MEAN LIGHT ANGST? WHAT DO YOU MEAN???? IM SO??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHATS HAPPENING? WHAT DO YOU MEAN????
I just know shits about to go down at the fucking quidditch match I just know it I know it. As for the angst.... Thus far light work, no reaction.............. I'm a bit............ Sus......... 😒😒😒😒😒😒😒 Where's the angst. Where's the angst. *CLANKS PANS* SHOW YOURSELF RAT 🫵 IM GETTING NERVOUS
I started reading this the day I got a notification but I was so tired 😫💔 and I was hating every moment of it so I just relaxed. I'm glad I did because I LOVEEE THISSSSS. Imagine if I walked away hating this cos I was so tired. Fuck off 🙄✋
You'd been homeschooled your entire life due to your father's protective nature, but with Draco being 16, he felt you'd have adequate enough protection.
❓ what... Why would she need protection? And from her younger brother????????? I fear the not knowing the lore is showing your honor 😬 IMMA JUST ROLL WITH IT YES YES I REMEMBER THESE GROWN ASS ADULTS WERE BEEFING WITH KIDS FOR SOME FUCKING REASON?????? HISS HISS VOLDEMORT OR WHATEVER THE FUCK
Finally, you'd get to be around people that weren't Death Eaters twice your age, or your little brother. You loved Draco, but come on. A girl's gotta eat.
HAHAAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAAHHAH
SHE REALLY SAID IM NOT HERE FOR EDUCATION IM HERE FOR DICK AHAHHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH
You wanted desperately to ride the train with Draco, but your father insisted you be transported separately to minimize the scene you’re appearance would cause.
❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓ WHY WOULDNT PEOPLE BE SCARED OF HER?? WHY WOUKD SHE BE A CELEBRITY HELPPPPPPO I DONT KNOWWWWWWW HAHAHAHAAHAHA
You weren’t sure when it happened, but at some point your little brother grew like a weed and now stood a head taller than you.
😔 I know it all too well 👎 loathe
You swore you heard McGonagall curse under her breath, and Draco’s arm tightened around yours.
DKDJJDJDN NOT YOU GETTINF MCGONAGALL TO CURSE BRUHHHH
Suddenly, he was no longer Draco, but Lucius, [...]
My poor draco boy ):
[...] and the girl you immediately recognized as Granger. Or so Draco called her, faux venom on his tongue.
GIRLIE IS A GIRLS GIRL TRUTHER SHE KNOWSSSSSSS UGHHHHH EVEN I WAS LIKE BRUHHH DRACOS RIGHT THEREEEE HERMIONE AND DRACO WERE ALWAYS END GAME JUST LIKE KATARA AND ZUKO YALL ARE JUST WEAKKKKKKK ASSS RATS
What a thrill to finally be seen.
It girl. Light work no reaction
And Lucius made a point of telling Arthur shortly after the decision was made, something about ‘Keep those trouble-making twins away from my daughter.’
????? Why is Lucius talking to Arthur what is happening???? Not the too good for everyone talking to the quote unquote dirt poor rats WHAT IS THIS???? DJDJJDJSJSJSJ HAHAHAHAHAA it's chill it's fine the less I know the better
[...] skipping over his twin beside him. His eyes were different, molten amber and sweet like honey, his hair like phoenix feathers, lips slightly parted like he was staring at a Great Wonder, but instead he was staring at you. Your heart gave an excited flutter.
Skipping over his twin is crazyyy work HAHAHAHAHHA THEY HAVE THE SAME FACE HAHAAHAHAH except I agree Georgie is just so much yummier 😋 SORRY GRED!!! The way you describe him is BEAUTIFUL
You were beautiful, unfairly so. Which of course you were, you’re a Malfoy for Merlin’s sake. And George found that he couldn’t look away.
I feel you george cos I mean malfoys
George watched your eyes skip over Dean, then Seamus, then Hermoine, Harry, Ron—until your eyes locked on his. The air was sucked from the room, his heart hammering like a cornered hare as your gaze inexplicably held his.
DO THEY KNOW EACH OTHER TOO????? WHAT IS HAPPENING
“—pretty fit, eh?” Fred muttered in his ear. “Oi, look at ‘im,” Fred snickered. “George? Geooooorgie?”
Bruhhhhhhhhh not Fred comin to say she's hot only to find his twin geeking 😭😭😭
“Sorry, what’d ya’ say?” George asked, looking around at his friends. They all stared at him with a mix of amusement and abject horror.
At least he's honest damn HAHAH
“She’s a Malfoy,” Hermoine scolded.
🙄✋ and we all know how you feel about em stfu
“Yeah, so by definition, she’s hot,” Seamus replied.
❗🫵 GAY COS YOU THINK DRACO IS HOT
McGonagall lifted the Sorting Hat, and it looked like you were speaking to it, no, flirting with it, your dark lashes fluttering.
IS SHE OKAY WHAT IS HAPPENING????? WITH THE SORTING HAT????? UHM OKAY THATS FINE LIVE YOUR TRUTH ALLIE GO HAT FUCKER
“Worse, probably,” George muttered, forcing himself to look away from you and back to his dinner. Suddenly, he found himself without an appetite.
????? I'm offended????? You don't know me. I don't even know what I originally had to say hold on
The world was at your feet, the lower classman wanted to be you, your classmates wanted to fuck you, and everyone else was terrified of you.
Crazy work. Your honor I dunno how to feel
It seemed your education under your father far surpassed that of your peers, in certain subjects at least.
EDUCATED BADDIEEEEEEEE LICKING HIS THROAT
And, you seemed to see your tall, red-headed boy everywhere you went. You'd learned that his name was George, a Weasley, Draco had sneered when he caught you ogling his tall, lean frame by the lake one afternoon.
🫵YOURS❓ at least this clarified they do nawt know each other. Also draco 🧯chill, your bp
You knew how your family felt about families like the Weasley's, but despite your father's best efforts, you couldn't bring yourself to hate someone for something as trivial as what ran through their veins.
..... But aren't Weasleys pure bloods too?????? At least it says on the website......... BESTIE JUST COS THEY'RE POOR DOESNT MEAN THAT MAKES THEM LESS PURE BLOODED ALSO THEYRE NOT FUCKING POOR MOLLY AND ARTHUR JUST HAVE 10000000000 CHILDREN
But when you entered the library and started pursuing the stacks for the Potions section, you found none other than George Weasley stretched out in a window seat, a book in his lap, his head lolled against the window as he snored.
I'm so sorry I would be taken to jail cos I was immediately 'licking his throat' GIRL STOPPPPPP
You tiptoed closer, taking in the state of him. He was dressed in trousers and a white button down, the sleeves pushed up to his elbows, his tie a little loose around his throat. His hair was messy, like he'd been running his fingers through it, and his socks were mismatched argyle.
Hi 🫦🥰 (dis my cat btw. My cat, ruby's, kitten, blossom)
You knew you shouldn't, but you found him extremely endearing, so soft-looking and cozy. Your fingers itched to straighten his tie, smooth his flaming hair.
You're better than me. I'd have licked his throat
“George,” you purred, but he didn't respond. “Geoooorge,” you tried again, poking him in the sternum. He turned his head, freckled nose scrunching. “George, darling. It's time to wake up.” You walked your fingers up his chest and tugged lightly on his red and gold tie.
❓❓❓❓❓GAGA HE DOESNT KNOW YOU DAFAQ GIRL PUT A LEASH ON THIS THING
“I, uh, yeah. Lucky me.” He swiped a hand through his hair. “Sleeping like an angel, hm?” He asked, regaining some of that cheeky charm you’d witnessed from afar over the last few weeks. A trait that only piqued your interest further.
Oh my gosh. Rizzler
“You looked awfully sweet to me,” you said, batting your lashes.
KESNN SHES INSUFFERABLE
“I don't believe that for a second, Malfoy.” His eyes skimmed over your face, down to your lips.
HEART PALPITATIONS I DO BITE
“Said the rattlesnake to the kitten,” he said, a teasing lilt in his voice.
WHYS HE SO POETIC WHYD HE CALL HIMSELF KITTEN DO YOU MAYHAPS HAVE A DADDY KINK (SHES DADDY)
“You're one to talk, Mr. Weasley. Where’s your twin? Recently severed, are we?”
I LOVEEE HER 👏RE👏CENT👏LY👏SE👏VERED👏 UGHHH
George popped up, revealing his full height and sending you back a step, and your mouth filled with a saliva. The top of your head barely skimmed his collar bone, his limbs long and lean.
Like a tree. Like a lollipop. You understand
He was a delight. Handsome, sweet, clever. A loyal Gryffindor, the opposite of all the other pricks that threw themselves at you.
“Pretty good, yeah. Why? Need a tutor?”
🫦 a husband. ALSO YOURE GOOD A PO- oh no yeah he would be
“If you've got the time.” You shrugged. “I wouldn't want to keep you.”
🙄✋ girl bye shut the fuck up you fake ass piece of shit
You brushed the soft tail of your quill over you lips, mulling over your response. “Well, George. I suppose you are.”
...... WTF IS THE CONTEXT OF THIS I DONT REMEMEBR BUT I THINK I AGREE HAHAHHAHAHA LOL
“So tense, Georgie,” you murmured, reaching a hand up to squeeze at his flexed bicep. “I don't bite, remember?”
NOT HER BEING TOUCHY. SAMEEE. I LOVE GEORGIEEEE MY GEORGIEEEE
“That's a shame, here I thought I was just your Potions tutor.”
💔💔💔💔💔 your honor he's perfect. I should be married to him wtf is this bullshit
“Monday would be great.” You rose up onto your toes to peck his cheek. “See you then!” You tossed over your shoulder as you walked away, leaving him a flustered mess.
NO CUZZZ
THE WAY I WAS LIKE ID KISS HIM GOODBYE AND THEN SHE DID UGHHH WERE LIKE THIS 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞 OUR BRAINS ARE LIKE THIS 🤞
George's eyes softened, sensing your hurt, but he didn't back away from his claim. “I think your father has it out for my little brother and his best friends, and I won't put them in danger just because I want to kiss a girl.”
RIZZLER. also weird ass fuckers out for kids is crazyyyyy
His eyes searched your face and you saw the moment he decided he trusted you, eyes melting like honey. "I trust you, rattlesnake." A smirk broke through his serious expression. “Am I going to regret it?”
OOP ITS STARTING MDKDNDJDJDNJ WHY WOULD YOU SAY SHIT LIKE THIS BUT HES SO PRETTY IM GOING TO EAT HIM LOKE CHOCOLATE ECLAIRS
Relief ballooned in your chest. “In the best way,” you purred, bringing his pinky up your lips and brushing a kiss across his knuckle.
KSJJSSJSJS
With a final exhale, he crashed his mouth to yours, his lips supple and insistent, your toes instantly curling in your shoes. You opened up for him and he licked into your mouth with firm strokes, deliberate and claiming. He tasted like lemon drops and black tea, and you were desperate for more of it.
“Y/n,” he hummed, smiling at you. His lips were puffy and slicked with spit, his eyes sparkling.
(unrelated but Colbert is willldding nskssksjjs)
You leaned forward, licking a long stripe from the hollow of his throat, over his Adams apple, to the underside of his chin.
HOW DOES IT FEEL TO LIVE MY DREAMMMMSSSS HOW DOES IT FEEL TO LIVE MY LIFEEE
“Shit.” His hands tightened on your waist, his head falling back to give you more access. You bit down, laving your tongue over his fevered skin, and his let out a low groan. “You little liar,” he gruffed, one of his hands coming up to tangle in your hair. “You do bite.”
BITING YOU FOREVER FOR LIFER MSJSJJSNSNSNJSKS LICKING BITING EATING DEVOURING
MY LOVEEEE THIS WAS A LOT IM SA IM LISTENING I DONT KNOW WHATS HAPPENING BUT GIRL AM I GLAD TO BE HERE RAHHH
A Madness Most Discreet | G.W.
feat. George Weasley x Malfoy!reader
summary: Draco's older sister arrives at Hogwarts for her final year of schooling, and sets her sights on a certain red-headed trickster.
cw: MDNI 18+, pov switching, making out and adult language, light angst (we're just getting started baby), pining, Malfoy family drama and blood prejudice, confident!reader
series navigation | masterlist | divider by @roseraris
Readers POV
No one knew what to expect when the Daily Prophet reported that you, the eldest child of Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, would be attending Hogwarts for your final year of schooling.
You'd been homeschooled your entire life due to your father's protective nature, but with Draco being 16, he felt you'd have adequate enough protection. Not to mention, he had more pressing matters to attend to than your schooling.
You were beside yourself with excitement. Finally, you'd see the outside of the walls of Malfoy Manor. Finally, you'd get to be around people that weren't Death Eaters twice your age, or your little brother. You loved Draco, but come on. A girl's gotta eat.
Draco and Professor McGonagall led you through the ancient corridors to the Great Hall, every portraits eye trained on you. The newcomer, the subject of many whispered conversations that passed by them less than an hour prior. It seemed even the castle itself was buzzing about your arrival.
You wanted desperately to ride the train with Draco, but your father insisted you be transported separately to minimize the scene you’re appearance would cause.
But you were not one for subtlety.
“I’m begging you to not make a scene,” Draco hissed in your ear, his Slytherin robes brushing your calves. You weren’t sure when it happened, but at some point your little brother grew like a weed and now stood a head taller than you.
“I wouldn’t dream of it, D.” You looped your arm through his, leaning your head on his shoulder. You were lying through your teeth, and he knew it.
“Seriously, y/n. There’s enough attention on us already.”
“Salazar’s tits, Draco! Would you relax? Everything will be fine.” The three of you reached the door to the Great Hall, closed firmly and unbelievably high.You swore you heard McGonagall curse under her breath, and Draco’s arm tightened around yours.
It seemed a scene would be made after all, and you fought the smile threatening to curve your lips.
“Ready, Malfoys?” McGonagall asked, turning to look over you both. The look in her eyes, almost pitying, made you hold Draco's arm a bit tighter, smile faltering.
What are they so worried about?
“As we’ll ever be,” Draco sighed.
McGonagall pushed open the doors, revealing the massive dining hall. Every table was filled with students, piles and piles of food over every surface, and more travelling on levitating trays around the room. Candles floated from the ceiling, the night sky clear and shining with stars.
Every head swiveled towards you, and you watched Draco’s demeanor change instantly. Suddenly, he was no longer Draco, but Lucius, and your stomach curdled, souring your excitement over a grand entrance.
Draco pulled you even closer to his side, casting a warning sneer to every eye that lingered too long while you walked towards Albus Dumbledore on the dais.
Your eyes ping-ponged from student to student, taking in the people you’d spend the next eight months with. You fought to keep your face neutral, an elegant mask of in difference like you'd been taught, but your heart pounded with excitement in your chest.
What a thrill to finally be seen.
The Gryffindor table was on your right, the maroon-clad students sizing you up with open disdain, but even that couldn't dampen the thrill tingling under your skin.
You spotted Harry Potter towards the center of the impossibly long table, flanked by some red-headed boy, Weasley, you surmised, and the girl you immediately recognized as Granger. Or so Draco called her, faux venom on his tongue.
His eyes flicked to her as well, and you suppressed the snicker that bubbled on your tongue. Despite your sheltered upbringing, you knew infatuation when you saw it.
You looked back towards the group, all of their eyes trained on you. But, your gaze snagged on one of them in particular, skipping over his twin beside him. His eyes were different, molten amber and sweet like honey, his hair like phoenix feathers, lips slightly parted like he was staring at a Great Wonder, but instead he was staring at you. Your heart gave an excited flutter.
Oh, there you are, a voice in the back of your mind whispered.
George's POV
Of course, George had heard that the eldest Malfoy was joining their class. Everyone had heard about your arrival. And Lucius made a point of telling Arthur shortly after the decision was made, something about ‘Keep those trouble-making twins away from my daughter.’
But, when the doors opened to the Great Hall and you entered on Draco’s arm, George had been stunned silent anyways.
You were beautiful, unfairly so. Which of course you were, you’re a Malfoy for Merlin’s sake. And George found that he couldn’t look away.
As you walked towards Professor Dumbledore, you scanned the tables, a curious glint in your gaze betraying your disinterested expression. George watched your eyes skip over Dean, then Seamus, then Hermoine, Harry, Ron—until your eyes locked on his. The air was sucked from the room, his heart hammering like a cornered hare as your gaze inexplicably held his.
Even as you continued to walk by, your eyes remained locked together, your head turning just slightly. A smirk sharpened your angelic face, and George’s jaw went slack. But then Draco gave you a nudge and you turned forward, a slight skip in your step.
“—pretty fit, eh?” Fred muttered in his ear. “Oi, look at ‘im,” Fred snickered. “George? Geooooorgie?”
Ron snapped his fingers in front of his face and George jolted back to reality. “Merlin, mate. Earth to George.”
“Sorry, what’d ya’ say?” George asked, looking around at his friends. They all stared at him with a mix of amusement and abject horror.
“Said she’s pretty fit,” Fred chuckled, bumping his shoulder.
“She’s a Malfoy,” Hermoine scolded.
“Yeah, so by definition, she’s hot,” Seamus replied.
“Exactly—”
George tuned them out as you were lead up to the stage, the Sorting Hat waiting on a stool to your right. Dumbledore was speaking, but George tuned him out as well, too fixated on the arrogant slant of your smile, the mischief shining from your eyes.
You had trouble written all over you.
McGonagall lifted the Sorting Hat, and it looked like you were speaking to it, no, flirting with it, your dark lashes fluttering.
“What is she saying to it?” Harry asked, leaning forward.
McGonagall placed it on your head, and the hat gave a great laugh, rendering the hall silent. “What a mind you have, girl. Clever, cunning, mischievous—a troublesome combination indeed. Seems even a Malfoy can be more than they appear. But even still—” The room held it’s breath, and Draco looked like he might keel over from stress, even paler than usual. “Slytherin!” The hat cried, and Draco exhaled, shaking his head at the dramatic pout on your face.
Saints, that pout. George wanted to sink his teeth into it.
“You think she’s going to be as bad as him?” Ginny asked, watching as Draco escorted you down the stairs and over to the roaring Slytherin table. People were throwing themselves out of their seats to make room for you, and you basked in the attention like a benevolent queen returned to her kingdom.
“Worse, probably,” George muttered, forcing himself to look away from you and back to his dinner. Suddenly, he found himself without an appetite.
Reader's POV
Your first three weeks at Hogwarts had been a whirlwind of introductions, lectures, and parties. The world was at your feet, the lower classman wanted to be you, your classmates wanted to fuck you, and everyone else was terrified of you. You never had to wait for a drink, or a meal, and someone was always willing to do your assignments for you, not that you needed it.
It seemed your education under your father far surpassed that of your peers, in certain subjects at least. You could out cast them all with ease, and were looking forward to when dueling would begin.
And, you seemed to see your tall, red-headed boy everywhere you went. You'd learned that his name was George, a Weasley, Draco had sneered when he caught you ogling his tall, lean frame by the lake one afternoon.
You knew how your family felt about families like the Weasley's, but despite your father's best efforts, you couldn't bring yourself to hate someone for something as trivial as what ran through their veins.
An opportunity to speak to George hadn't presented itself until you'd escaped to the library one evening. The attention you initially craved was starting to border on suffocating, and you wanted a few hours of quiet to yourself.
It was a lesson your mother had taught you. You can withstand anything so long as you hold onto yourself.
But when you entered the library and started pursuing the stacks for the Potions section, you found none other than George Weasley stretched out in a window seat, a book in his lap, his head lolled against the window as he snored.
You tiptoed closer, taking in the state of him. He was dressed in trousers and a white button down, the sleeves pushed up to his elbows, his tie a little loose around his throat. His hair was messy, like he'd been running his fingers through it, and his socks were mismatched argyle.
You knew you shouldn't, but you found him extremely endearing, so soft-looking and cozy. Your fingers itched to straighten his tie, smooth his flaming hair.
Instead you lifted the book from his lap and read the cover. “Pyromancy and Magical Combustion: A Spellcaster’s Guide”
George stirred suddenly, his hands flexing around empty air.
You considered backing off and leaving him to rest, but where the fun in that?
“George,” you purred, but he didn't respond. “Geoooorge,” you tried again, poking him in the sternum. He turned his head, freckled nose scrunching. “George, darling. It's time to wake up.” You walked your fingers up his chest and tugged lightly on his red and gold tie.
“Hm?” He mumbled, brown lashes fluttering open to reveal his sleep-trodden, amber eyes. They locked on your face, widening for a second before he jolted upright. “Y/n? Merlin, where the fuck—”
“It’s alright, love,” you shushed him, using deft fingers to straighten his tie and fix his collar. “You're in the library, sleeping like an angel. Lucky it was me that found you and not Pince.” You glanced up at him, finding his jaw a little slack, his eyes round as he stared at you in shock.
You always were a little too bold for your own good. Reckless in the pursuit of what you wanted.
“I, uh, yeah. Lucky me.” He swiped a hand through his hair. “Sleeping like an angel, hm?” He asked, regaining some of that cheeky charm you’d witnessed from afar over the last few weeks. A trait that only piqued your interest further.
“You looked awfully sweet to me,” you said, batting your lashes.
“Said the rattlesnake to the kitten,” he said, a teasing lilt in his voice.
“Rattlesnake?” You scoffed, feigning hurt with a hand over your heart. “I don't bite!”
“I don't believe that for a second, Malfoy.” His eyes skimmed over your face, down to your lips.
You flashed said fangs, and he smiled back.
“Why are you in the library?” He asked, glancing over your shoulder. “Alone? I haven't seen you without Draco or one of his goons since you arrived.”
You rolled your eyes. Draco had assigned Theo Nott and Blaise Zabini to watch over you when he couldn't, and it took a concerted effort to evade them and come here. “Was getting a little tired of the entourage,” you admitted.
“A Malfoy? Tired of attention?” He tapped a finger on your forehead, featherlight. “I think you might be broken.”
“You're one to talk, Mr. Weasley. Where’s your twin? Recently severed, are we?”
He chuckled, the sound low and honey sweet. “Hufflepuff party.”
“And you didn't go, because…? You love pyromancy so much?” You held up the book, teasing him.
“Wasn't in the mood to socialize,” he said, shrugging a shoulder.
“Well, George, it seems we may have more in common than we realized.”
His eyes warmed. “Seems so.”
“Could you help me find the Potions section?” You asked, cocking a thumb over your shoulder. “Draco never gave me a tour…”
George popped up, revealing his full height and sending you back a step, and your mouth filled with a saliva. The top of your head barely skimmed his collar bone, his limbs long and lean.
He offered you his elbow. “Right this way, Ms. Malfoy.”
You rested your hand on his bicep, the burgeoning heat between you flaring brightly at even the smallest contact, and he lead you through the stacks.
He was warm and steady beside you, his cologne fresh and clean smelling, his muscles flexing slightly as he steered you. Butterflies stirred in your stomach, pleased that your instinct when you spotted him had been correct.
He was a delight. Handsome, sweet, clever. A loyal Gryffindor, the opposite of all the other pricks that threw themselves at you.
When you arrived at the clearly labeled Potions section, you turned to face him. “You’re in my Potions class, right? Are you any good?” You asked, wanting to delay his departure.
“Pretty good, yeah. Why? Need a tutor?” He quirked an eyebrow, his voice coming out a little too fast to be ready as anything but eager.
“If you've got the time.” You shrugged. “I wouldn't want to keep you.”
“Nonsense. I'm happy to be of service,” he said, winking at you, sending a fizz of desire pulsing through your blood.
George gathered the books you needed and led you to a secluded table at the back of the library, recognizing the risk of anyone seeing the two of you together, even doing something as simple as studying.
“So, what's the trouble with Potions?” He asked once you were settled in, books splayed around the table.
“My father didn't see the value in it, and it's not like we have a laboratory in the Manor,” you said, dipping your quill in your ink.
“So you were homeschooled your entire life?” George folded his arms against the table, leaning a bit closer. “Why?”
You shrugged, avoiding his gaze. “My father had his reasons.” It was a practiced answer, a safe one, and it tasted bitter on your tongue. “He thought it wasn't safe,” you added, wanting to assuage the guilty feeling.
“Not safe?” George scoffed. “Hogwarts is the safest place in the world.
“Depends on who your enemies are,” you said, finally meeting his eyes.
“And who are you enemies?” He asked, sitting back on his chair.
You brushed the soft tail of your quill over you lips, mulling over your response. “Well, George. I suppose you are.”
“That's a shame, here I thought I was just your Potions tutor.”
You snorted, caught off guard by his joking. “Should be fine, as long as we aren't friends,” you chuckled.
“Definitely not friends.” He smiled. “Now, the thing about Beezors…”
George's POV
George watched you pour over your notes, brow furrowed slightly in concentration, and you did that god-forsaken fucking thing with your quill again.
Dragged the feather over your lips with the barest touch, the movement unconscious, and it made his heart seize every single fucking time.
He could hardly believe he was sitting across from you, walking through the curriculum you needed for the first Potions exam in two weeks. You'd missed a lot being homeschooled, but we're clearly incredibly bright, and you picked everything up with ease that rivaled Hermione.
He'd been fascinated by you from the moment you walked into the Great Hall, and managed to snag his eye every time you entered a room there after. You occupied his mind too, so much so he was already behind in Charms, but he wasn't even quite ready to admit that to himself yet.
You were a Malfoy, after all. It didn't matter that you were interesting, or clever, or beautiful. You were a Malfoy. End of story.
He should get up and walk away right now.
What right did you have asking him for help? You had everything. And you were smart enough to do this on your own. You didn't need him. And he shouldn't want you.
Oh, Merlin. And he didn't want you….right?
He couldn't. He barely knew you beyond your reputation and the whispers he'd gathered in the halls, but it felt like he did. Like he's known you for ages, the quiet between you comfortable despite his racing thoughts.
But no, surely not. He didn't want you. Nope.
You dragged you quill against your lips again, sighing softly, and he nearly melted to the floor like a lit candle.
Fuck. He wanted you.
“George?” You called, waving a hand in front of his face, and he jolted back to the present. “Dozing off again?” You teased, voice sweet as treacle.
“No, was just, ah, trying to remember what we covered fourth year,” he said, rubbing the back of his head and hoping you didn't catch the flush in his cheeks.
But based on the twinkle in your eye, you certainly did.
“Maybe we can cover it tomorrow?” You asked, closing your book and setting down your quill. “I'm not sure I can absorb anything else tonight—” a soft yawn punctuated your words, sweet as a lamb, and George had to look away so he didn't memorize the exact shade of your tongue.
Definitely don't meet up with her tomorrow. “Yeah, same spot?” He asked, gathering his things as well.
“It's a date.” You winked, and flitted between the stacks, disappearing from his sight.
George slumped back onto his seat, scrubbing a hand over his face.
When he showed up ten minutes early to the library the following day, he'd never felt more pathetic in his life.
All day, he told himself he wasn't going to go. That he was going to leave you hanging and end this before it got started. Whatever this was.
He was betraying his family by sitting in this chair, guilt churning and acrid in his gut. They would be so disappointed him. He could already hear his mother in his mind: you're a spineless fool.
And it was the truth. He'd lied to Fred and Ron about what he was doing, and snuck past Hermione and Harry who were studying by the entrance. He was lying to and hiding from the people he loved most, all for a Malfoy.
He was about to get up from his seat when you came breezing around the corner, a cauldron in your arms. He continued to rise but instead of fleeing, he took the cauldron from you with a chastising tsk.
“Stealing from Snape, are we, rattlesnake?” He set the cauldron on the table, turning back to you.
“I didn't steal it!” You argued.
He raised an eyebrow, an amused smirk lifting the corner of his mouth.
“I'm going to bring it back later.” You rolled your eyes and dumped your bag onto the table, potions and herbs rolling out. “How else am I supposed to learn about potions?”
He opened his mouth, then closed it again. Merlin, you were adorable. Pink cheeked from carrying everything, your hair windswept, eyes shining with that rebellious light. He was helpless, drawn to it like a moth.
“Just don't blow my eyebrows off,” he grumbled.
“No promises,” you teased back.
The two of you toiled the rest of the evening away over the cauldron, successfully making two of the four potions Snape had covered this semester.
You stood shoulder to shoulder over the bubbling green liquid, and he glanced down at you, at the victorious little grin on your face, and he felt his insides twist.
He reached to grab a bundle of herbs on your right, and you turned to grab an ingredient on his left, and your bodies bumped together in the middle, faces nearly colliding.
“S-shit, sorry,” he said, pretending he couldn't smell the expensive perfume on your skin. Like it wasn't rotting his brain from the inside out.
“Sorry for what?” You asked, leaning the rest of the way to get your ingredient, apparently completely unbothered by your chest pressed up against his, your face brushing his shoulder.
“Uh, I—”
“So tense, Georgie,” you murmured, reaching a hand up to squeeze at his flexed bicep. “I don't bite, remember?”
Every scrap of attention zeroed in on your hand touching his arm, his heart thundering in his chest. Georgie. The nickname rattled around in his empty mind. Georgie. Georgie. Georgie.
“I'll try,” he rasped, clearing his throat.
An hour later and you finished the third Potion, the sun long ago set over the horizon. It wouldn't be long before Pince came looking for stragglers, and you'd be booted from the library.
George glanced over at you, your cheek propped against your palm, lashes fluttering as your lids slid closed. Something warm bloomed in his chest watching you doze, peaceful and untroubled, trusting him enough to let your guard down so completely.
As quietly as he could, he picked up his things and yours, and discarded the potion. Carefully, he tucked the cauldron behind one of the the shelves for your next study session so you wouldn't have to lug it back and forth, vowing to take the fall if Snape caught on.
“Rattlesnake,” he cooed, nudging your shoulder. “C’mon, we gotta get out of here.”
You groaned, nose wrinkling before you blinked open your eyes at him. A sleepy smile stretched across your face, and his knees turned to jelly. He wanted to kiss you so badly it stole his breath.
“Sorry, Georgie,” you mumbled, covering your mouth when you yawned.
“All good, love,” he replied, handing you your things. Shit, he cursed himself. Love had just rolled off his tongue, easy as breathing.
But you only smiled at him, slinging your bag over your shoulder and getting to your feet. “Thanks for your help,” you said. “Do you think you'll have time to meet next week?”
Quidditch matches started next week, eating into the little bit of free time he had. But he'd figure it out.
“Could probably meet Monday after practice, if you'd like,” he said, shouldering his own bag.
“Monday would be great.” You rose up onto your toes to peck his cheek. “See you then!” You tossed over your shoulder as you walked away, leaving him a flustered mess.
He rubbed his hand over his cheek, the place your lips brushed his skin still tingling, and sighed. How could he stay away from you? Why should he? Because of your last name?
It was the Malfoy’s job to be stuck up and judgemental, not his. And you seemed to be nothing like them…
Then, something occured to him. A thought so upsetting it punched the air out of his chest and he dropped back down onto his chair.
What if this was a trick?
What if this was a way for the Malfoy's to get close to his family? To get them to let their guards down? What if you were just a beautiful Trojan Horse?
He shook his head, trying to shake the dark thoughts loose. You couldn't be, not with those bright eyes and rebellious smile. He couldn't imagine you being so cruel. But then again…you were a Malfoy.
How could he know for sure?
He left the library with his head hung low, doubts swirling in his mind like a storm, making his stomach churn, but one stood clearer than the rest. Disruptive as a strike of lightning.
Was it worth the risk?
Reader's POV
Your connection with George deepened over those few study sessions, and it seemed he was just as into you as you were him. From the knocked together knees, to his fingers brushing against yours when he passed over an ingredient or book, to his eyes lingering on you over the cauldron, the signs were plentiful.
But Monday night, he'd been different.
He was acting strange the entire study session, watching you closely, giving clipped, one or two word answers. His shoulders seemed almost heavy, burdened.
At first, you chalked it up to him being tired after practice, but instinctively, you knew it had something to do with you.
Unable to bear it any longer, you turned to him after shelving your books. “Is something wrong, George?” You asked, crossing your arms over your chest.
He froze in place, refusing to meet your eyes. Then, something seemed to give way in his expression, a loaded sigh loosing from his chest. “I'm not sure we should keep doing this,” he admitted, sounding almost pained. “Your family would have a conniption, as would mine.”
You let your arms fall to your sides. It was only a matter of time before this came up, you supposed. But, you were prepared for it. “And?” You asked, risking a step closer. “I'm not sure about you…” you placed a hand on his chest, feeling his heart race, his muscles tense under your touch. But he didn't pull away. “But I make my own decisions.”
He placed his hand over yours. “You could have anyone you want. So, why me? What's in it for you?”
You recoiled slightly, removing your hand from him and taking a step back. “You think I have some ulterior motive.” It wasn't a question, nor was it a shock. Everyone always assumed you did everything with malicious intent. You just thought maybe George saw you differently.
George's eyes softened, sensing your hurt, but he didn't back away from his claim. “I think your father has it out for my little brother and his best friends, and I won't put them in danger just because I want to kiss a girl.”
Your heart gave a jilted pang, confusion making your brows furrow. You knew he was being completely honest. He wanted to kiss you, but he was afraid of what the consequences might be. Consequences you hadn't even really considered.
George had every reason to be skeptical of you. But your only ulterior motive was getting closer to him, and maybe getting under your father's skin a little should he ever find out.
“I don't have an ulterior motive, George. Nor do I take orders from anyone, least of all my father. I have no ill will towards your family, and I'm sorry that mine has treated you all so poorly.”
He was quiet for a moment. “Swear it,” he said, holding up his pinky.
You wrapped your pinky around his. “I swear.”
His eyes searched your face and you saw the moment he decided he trusted you, eyes melting like honey. "I trust you, rattlesnake." A smirk broke through his serious expression. “Am I going to regret it?”
Relief ballooned in your chest. “In the best way,” you purred, bringing his pinky up your lips and brushing a kiss across his knuckle.
His pupils dilated, breath hitching in his chest. Then you were moving, his body pressing you backwards against the bookshelf, dropping your pinky to brace your hips with both hands.
“You're awfully confident,” he whispered in your ear, making your stomach flutter with anticipation.
You hadn't felt this excited in far too long, his touch, his voice as tempting as the finest wine.
“Are you going to find out why? Or keep prattling on?”
With a final exhale, he crashed his mouth to yours, his lips supple and insistent, your toes instantly curling in your shoes. You opened up for him and he licked into your mouth with firm strokes, deliberate and claiming. He tasted like lemon drops and black tea, and you were desperate for more of it.
Every other kiss you'd had felt lifeless and disappointing, empty and wet in the worst way. But this, the fervid caress of his searching tongue, felt like wildfire: burning, consuming, ravenous.
“George,” you gasped when his lips traveled down your neck, the tip of his nose a cold contrast to the heat of his mouth.
He nipped at your pulse, sucking the skin between his teeth to leave a mark.
“George!” You giggled, pulling on his hair to stop him.
“Y/n,” he hummed, smiling at you. His lips were puffy and slicked with spit, his eyes sparkling.
Two could play at that game.
You leaned forward, licking a long stripe from the hollow of his throat, over his Adams apple, to the underside of his chin.
“Shit.” His hands tightened on your waist, his head falling back to give you more access. You bit down, laving your tongue over his fevered skin, and his let out a low groan. “You little liar,” he gruffed, one of his hands coming up to tangle in your hair. “You do bite.”
You giggled, lapping at the light purple mark you left behind. “I'm not sorry.”
He tipped your head back and reconnected your lips, teasing and light. “You have no reason to be. Bite me all you like, rattlesnake,” he murmured between unhurried pecks.
“Careful what you ask for.” You caught his lower lip between your teeth and tugged gently, earning another groan, before kissing him a final time, soft and lingering.
Hearing the distant chime of the bell tower, you finally broke apart. Curfew. Pince would be around any second.
You brushed your nose against his. “I have to get back to the common room,” you sighed.
“’Course. Wouldn't dream of keeping you from your beauty sleep.” He brought your knuckles to his lips, kissing them lightly. “See you at the match tomorrow?”
You nodded, pulling your still tingling lower lip between your teeth. “Absolutely. I’ll be in green.”
“Ouch,” he chuckled, pretending to wince. “I'll have you in red soon enough.” He released your hand and walked backwards out of the aisle, his eyes trained on you until he was forced to turn the corner, his hand sticking out to wave a final goodbye as he disappeared.
You placed a hand over your thundering heart, a little stunned by your bodies intense reaction him.
What in Salazar's name has you gotten yourself into?
George's POV
George left the library achingly hard and shook to his core, the blood that hadn't traveled south roaring in his ears.
That was the singularly most earth-shattering kiss of his life. And it was with the absolute last person he should be kissing.
George wasn't the type to get physical so quickly after meeting someone, but you were irresistible. And seemed to want him as badly as he wanted you, a fact he struggled to get his head around.
And even though he knew he should, he couldn't bring himself to regret a second of it. In fact, he was already anxiously awaiting the match tomorrow, debating whether or not he could squeeze in some extra practice at dawn while he walked back to his dorm.
As soon as he opened the door, he found his brother, Ron, Harry, Seamus, and Neville sitting up in their beds, and stopped short.
“Hey George!” Harry called, waving.
“What’s the matter with you?” Fred asked, clocking his trepidation immediately.
George had to fight to urge to clap a hand over the mark you’d left on his neck. Would they smell your perfume on his skin?
“Nothing? Why?” He asked, heading towards his trunk.
Fred eyed him suspiciously. “Where have you been?”
“Library,” George answered, a little too quick.
Fred studied him a moment longer, then snapped his fingers, a huge grin on his face. “You were with a girl!”
The rest of the boys oooooh’d, and George felt his cheeks heat.
“Yeah, right. You know me, drowning in babes,” he argued, throwing a towel and his pajamas over his shoulder. “I'm going to take a shower.”
“Ah, so just a snog, then?” Seamus teased.
George flipped them off and left for the showers, praying they forget about it by the time he got back.
Reader's POV
“Where the fuck have you been?” Draco snapped, rounding on you as soon as you stepped back into the Slytherin common room.
“Places,” you reply, kissing his cheek before strolling by.
He caught your wrist, tugging you back to him. “Y/n…”
“Draco…” You rolled your eyes. “I was in the library, relax.” You pull away from him and walk towards the girls dormitory, Draco on your heels.
“You’ve been spending a lot of time there,” he accused, an edge of suspicion in his voice. “I would have gone with you, or Blaise or Pansy—”
“I wanted to go alone,” you snapped, stopping so suddenly he bumped into you. A hush fell over the common room. “I don't need a fucking body guard, Draco. You need to back off.”
Draco's nostrils flared, his eyes narrowing. “Stop it,” he hissed. “We can talk about this in private.”
“Why? Is your ‘bad guy' reputation so fragile?”
His jaw flexed, and you could tell your words stung, hurt flickering across his eyes.
You sighed. “D, I can take care of myself,” you murmured.
“But if something happened to you…” his voice softened, trailing off.
“Let me have this,” you asked, taking his hand in both of yours. “Please. I've never had any freedom.”
He squeezed your hands. “I know, I know. Just…let me know where you are, at least? Don't just keep disappearing—what is that?” His eyes hardened, lowering to your neck.
You fought to hold your composure. “What? Oh, the burn? I bumped it with my curling iron this afternoon.” You grazed your fingers over the mark George had left, a flurry of butterflies kicking up in your stomach.
Draco dropped your hand, and guilt soured your fuzzy feelings.
“Who is it?” He growled.
“Draco—”
“You think I can't tell when you're lying?” He grabbed you and lead you into a quieter part of the common room, shadowed from onlookers. “Who was it, y/n?”
You glared daggers at him, squaring your shoulders. “I suggest you mind your own business, or we will have a fucking problem. I will not hesitate to dismantle every brick of this bullshit castle you've built. Clear?”
His jaw ticked, eyes blazing. “This is not a fucking game,” he said after a tense moment of silence.
“Just trust me, okay? I’m fine. We’re fine. Not everything is life and death.”
“Y/n, you aren't listening—”
“No, you aren't listening. We're safe here. And I have my brother to protect me from anything scary, yeah?” You reached up to pinch his cheek, and he scowled, swatting your hand away.
“I can't protect you if I don't know where you are,” he argued.
You sighed. “I'll try and tell you from now on, okay? But you can't be with me 24/7. You need to have a little faith in me.”
“It's not you that I doubt,” he grumbled, but you could tell that you'd won this round.
“Goodnight, Draco. And don't stay up too late, you've got a game tomorrow.” You poked him hard in the chest, and he rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, yeah. Goodnight, sister.” He waved you off and you ascended the stairs to the girls dorm, leaving him to his friends, and you to toss and turn in your bed, dreaming of George.
Thank you for reading!
If you'd like to be included in the taglist, comment below!
taglist: @pxige1234, @simars3, @jaybbygrl, @irlpokemonsworld, @just-some-random-blogger
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so i finally filled up my sketchbook that i started back in may of 2022 💥
since most of the doodles were TTTE related, i thought i'd share mine, starting from the very first one from july of 2022. it was the summer before my senior year of high school when i got into ttte. however, i didn't join the fandom until months later, around november. i say around because my first ttte post i deleted (it was a 2d model sheet i drew up of Edward but someone reblogged it so its definitely out there somewhere lul)
now, about 2.5 years later, im still in the fandom, enjoying ttte. i've met some amazing artists and writers, and while i dont speak as often with you as i would like, do know that im glad ive met every single one of you. i haven't had such a positive experience since my Sonic days and (somewhat left the fandom) Hermitcraft days, let alone a fixation stick around for so long like my Sonic fixation (2013 - 2020). we'll see how long ttte sticks as my fixation for but i have a feeling it will be for a long time, considering the people i've found myself with.
so as a bit of a commemoration and for the sake of seeing improvement, i'm sharing some sketches of the engines i've drawn over the years from that sketchbook, from the very first sketch to last page i just finished. :)
personal art notes below. feel free to skip! these are just observations of mine that i made from looking at these!
what was consistent: the recognizable art style. you can still tell that its my artwork, and i think it comes down to the eyes, depite the style of those changing the most.
i've gotten better at faces, especially different designs, but i still need to keep them consistent.
i still suck at perspective. this is why we use reference images.
say if i had joined the fandom just now, and this is my first post. i think you'd assume that edward is clearly the favorite lul.
there's some spoilers so i wont be commenting on anything about the designs, save for a few!
for images 7 and 8, i used highlighters and a red pen for coloring :D
i did rebecca early on and i hate that it happened. also the notes for her aren't relevant anymore! They're now based on 34102 Lapford.
character design notes:
image 6: Lexi is the LSWR T7 class. Theodore is the LSWR F9. For anyone curious, Merlin stays the same. Im not sure if I ever changed the specific engine he is. I remember talking about it but i can't find any info anywhere ;-;
image 7: Whiff is a GWR 3571 class. (not visual) Stanley was built by NWR in Crovan's Gate.
image 8: (not visual but affects his accent) Based on his number, Ryan was built in Scotland by the North British Company.
image 9: Rebecca is the rebuilt version of SR West Country class. Belle is a GWR 6100 (as originally planned for the TVS). Hank is a USATC S160.
#muxse meeps#my art#cerenemuxse#ttte#ttte au#ttte edward#ttte thomas#ttte emily#ttte james#ttte rebecca#ttte nia#ttte gordon#ttte lexi#ttte theo#ttte paxton#ttte whiff#ttte scruff#ttte stanley#ttte ryna#ttte ashima#ttte arthur#ttte rosie#ttte murdoch#ttte belle#ttte victor#ttte donald#ttte henry#ttte hank#ttte oc#ttte city of truro
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i think the frustrating part about holding so firmly onto the notion that i must have DID is that in no way does it serve me to have this disorder or pretend like i do.
Like, people who are physically disabled dont get treated better because people can physically see they are disabled.
And i know that having a mental diagnosis of any kind does not make the people around me more understanding.
So it doesnt make sense for me to keep pointing at one and going "Look, I know you told me i only have CPTSD, BPD and Severe anxiety and Depression. but that isnt the whole of it, youre wrong, youre wrong, you are wrong."
As someone who was repeatedly abused into not believing the reality around himself growing up, I can't express enough how fucking badly believing in something like this just never happens to me. especially when the denial hits because some part of me, some deep, core part of me knows i have DID. But I just cant let myself have that or be content with that because i dont have an offical diagnosis. because my therapist, who flat out told me and admitted that while i do have alters, said i dont have DID.
What the fuck. What am i fighting so hard for. why is this so important to me? because the description and symptoms of DID match me so much better than any other diagnosis? i dont know. i dont know anymore. im so tired. my tarot cards were not fucking joking.
#vent#dissociative identity disorder#you'll never believe it but i got a headache writing this. yippie.#im sorry.#i am angry and confused and ive been gaslit by the medical#community my WHOLE life.#i believe everything everyone else tells me but i refuse to let them take this away from me .#please.#i dont know why im so sure i have it because i know#tomorrow or in an hour or two days i wont believe myself all over again#i dont know what to do#i dont know how to help us#because i do experience derealization and depersonalization too#and gender dysohoria that flips on a dime but no im just “Genderfluid” to her#despite never labelling myself as genderfluid
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Blood Blossom Au: Baby's First Commissioner Meeting :)
TL:DR This Post: Danny (orphan) gets poisoned with blood blossom extract by Vlad. He runs away from him and ends up under the care of one Pre-Robin Battinson Batman! Starry is loudly pushing her batdad agenda.
(Also known as "Late At Night, When The Nightingale Sings" on my ao3!)
This was a fun rough idea I've been sitting on for weeks, thinking about how Commissioner Gordon and Nightingale's first meeting might go.
---------------
Commissioner Gordon likes to think that he's adjusting to the new normal of Gotham very well, -- the new normal being grown men running around dressed like bats, in military-grade strength body armor, committing acts of vigilantism, -- and slowly, little by little, he was no longer being surprised when this new normal pops up out of the shadows like the world's most terrifying daisy. His shaving lifespan thanks him for it.
....
The kid is a surprise though.
Granted, he seemed to be a surprise to the Bat too.
There's been a string of murders lately, -- which, in Gotham, is kind of like saying there's been another storm during monsoon season. And there's just been another; in some dilapidated building down in south Gotham, with the broken, boarded-up windows and mildew-crawling walls to match. The victim is a man in his thirties, multiple gunshot wounds to the chest, left in the center of the room for the blood to pool out around him.
The place is already secured when he arrives, the building swarmed with officers and the forensic detectives. The Bat emerges shortly after he does -- or, he might've been here the whole time, hiding someplace dark and shadowy. For his own sanity, Gordon doesn't think about it too hard.
The kid is a surprise, and he appears like a bolt of lightning.
He shows up in the middle of a conversation Gordon is having with the Bat.
A whistle, sharp and loud, slicing through the air, meant for open air rather than a confined space. Gordon's ears pierce and protest the sound, and the solemn, murmured chatter floating through the room abruptly cuts off like the swing of a gavel. As he turns towards the sound -- as they all do -- he swears, up and down, that he sees Batman's shoulders jump, just slightly.
At the source, perched on the window, is a boy. A boy in a gray-blue scarf and an oversized black hoodie, one that hangs off his frame and has ace bandages wrapped around the wrists in some attempt to cinch the sleeves. The hood is up, big like the rest of it, and threatens to swallow the upper half of the boy's face whole in the fabric. What upper half Gordon can see, is smeared with some kind of opaque, black face paint. He's holding onto the side of the frame with one hand, on his hip is a grappling hook. A familiar grappling hook.
Gordon has multiple questions, and his officers tense up.
Martinez puffs up, brows furrowing as his face shapes into a frown. Shoulders rolling back. "You can't be here, kid--"
The reaction is immediate, like a spark to gunpowder, the boy yanks his fingers from his mouth and his mouth twists into a scowl. Head snapping over to Officer Martinez, his hood manages to stay on but Gordon swears that as he bares his teeth, the glint makes them look sharper than they should be. His voice is rasp and quiet and harsh; snappish in its hissing; "Put a fuckin sock in it, Martinez. I'm not stayin."
Martinez reels back, and the boy immediately veers his attention off him. Like a switch, his demeanor drops. Despite half his face being covered, his mouth twists into a cringing, apologetic smile. Slanted and off-beat, embarrassed. It'd be disarming if this wasn't Gotham, and if he didn't just hiss at Martinez like he was about to bite his head off.
"Sorry." He whispers, voice deceptively polite and softer now. Gordon has to strain his ears to hear him. "I was looking for him."
He points his finger towards-- Gordon? No, Gordon follows the direction, and finds himself looking at -- the Bat.
The Bat, who always looks stiff as a pole, now looks even stiffer. Somehow. Well, the explains the grappling hook attached to the boy's waist.
"What are you doing here?" The Bat says, gruff and unable to completely smother the stumble of surprise in his tone.
The boy still holds a sheepish smile, and slips off the window ledge. His feet hit the creaky boards with a near-silent thud, the Batman finds his feet and rapidly begins crossing the room.
Gordon notes the slight tremble in the boy's legs as he straightens. He adjusts his scarf, which droops close to his knees now that he's standing, and slings a backpack -- how long has had that? -- off his shoulders. When the Bat reaches his side, he does as he always does, and looms over the boy like a spectre. A threatening mass of shadows cloaked in all-consuming black. Standing next to him, the boy looks teeny in comparison.
The Bat is a man who terrifies even the most hardened criminals, Gordon has seen grown men shiver in fear at the mention of his name. And yet when the boy looks up at him, he doesn't even flinch.
Instead, his sheepish smile melts away like ice under the sun, holding only traces of his previous embarrassment. It remains as a shadow on his face, a small upturn at the corners of his mouth. The boy pushes his hood back just enough to reveal glinting, ice-flint eyes surrounded in tar-black face paint. He holds the backpack up with one arm. "You forgot this."
#I have never seen Batman (2022) so really I'm just using battinson and crew as templates for my fic. but hey what else is new lol#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc fic#dpxdc au#dp x dc au#dpxdc fanfic#i dont know shit about detective work or true crime so forgive me for any bad terminology or incorrect procedure for how these things work#just a fun rough idea for how i imagined gordon's first meeting with nightingale goes LMAO. im sticking to the idea that danny doesn't#officially join the field for a *while* due to more than just health reasons. so his first appearances are brief and usually to give B smth#danny: im only here as express delivery for vader's little brother over there. yall stay safe tho.#bruce: *kill bill sirens bass-boosted* ohmygodwhatishedoinghere#batman: how did you get here... | danny: you have so many spare grappling hooks it was pr easy to just grab one and go#also danny is whispering on purpose because he doesn't have his ghost form to fall back on as a secret identity. so he *is* actually taking#extra steps to keep his identity safe. and people usually sound different when they're whispering. he also has personal beef with#office martinez despite the fact that they've never met. Danny's HEARD of his ass. he hATES his ass.#Martinez: *to batman* freak | danny: im going to Bite Him. | batman (reluctantly): hmr. please don't. | danny: im going for his shins#Martinez and Nightingale have this whole thing going on between the two of them. danny WILL slap a sticky note on Martinez's back that says#'asshole' on it and its the one spot square on his spine that martinez can't reach.#someone: why are you beefing with like. an actual 12 year old | martinez: HE'S A LITTLE RAT. THAT'S WHY. he's here to torment me#battinson: *did you grapple the whole way here* | danny: yah. it was kinda fun. i would've gotten here faster but i kept having to stop#battinson: *hnnn* im driving you back | danny:.. are you sure? | battinson already pulling him out of the room: y e s#i've been thinking about this for literally WEEKS. what did bruce forget? good question! i'll figure that out if or when i get to this#danny has Issues behind the word freak so its like a mini beserker button for him regardless of who the word is aimed at lol. lmao#martinez calls batman a freak once while nightingale is within range and its just the doom ost as danny simply Disappears from sight#like oops. you are now. In Danger. rip couldn't be me.#blood blossom au
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I'll just do all of them at once because my blog is small, I'm bored, and it's fun :)
General kin asks:
Who are your main kins? Is there a reason they're your main kins?
I have one main kintype, Mercutio. Everything just feels very very me.
How many kins are you aware of? If you don't want to list them all that's fine, just do your top ones.
Just one kintype :)
Who is the most recent kin you have discovered? Do you have any information on them (ie kin type, what happened in your canon, ect)?
Do you have a kin you didn't expect to kin but did?
Yup. I did not go into my English class's Romeo and Juliet unit expecting to be or even like Mercutio but uhhhhh that happened.
Do you have a 'kin type' (Ie do you always kin characters with black hair, do you kin characters with a temper, ect)? Can you relate this 'type' to yourself currently?
Uhhhh not that I know of, since I only have one kintype
Is there a character from media that you haven't engaged with that you're kinsidering?
Nope
Do you have any kins that take place in an AU? Or any kin you'd like to see in an AU?
Nope
Do you have a favorite kin? Why are they your favorite?
My only kintype lol
Is there a kin source you have that no one else seems to kin from?
YES OH MY GOD I've only met ONE other Romeo and Juliet kin WHYYYY
Do you have a specific kin type (ie otherkin, fictionkin, objectkin, ect) that you lean towards?
I use the term fictionkin mainly.
If you could live in any of the worlds your kin is from, which one would you like to live in?
I would absolutely want to live in Verone/Verona but not in modern times, I just want to go back and see my friends again really
Have you met any canonmates before? If so which canons/kins?
Nope and I'm not looking for any because I'm nervous af.
Do you have any kins that are no longer main kins for you? Who are they?
Yes, I used to identify as Applejack (MLP G4) but it turns out that was just a flickertype.
How did you discover being kin? If you don't want to share for any reason, what age did you learn about kin?
I wasn't even expecting to like studying Shakespeare at all but then I started looking at Romeo and Juliet fanart and became inexplicably drawn to Mercutio in the Romeo et Juliette french musical, and then in class we had to perform three scenes of our choice from the play in groups, and one of my friends was cast as our Mercutio and I started to get like this insanely strong feeling that everything was wrong and everything felt off and I should be Mercutio, not her (no shade to my friend though). So then eventually I asked her if she was willing to swap roles and she agreed (she was not interested in performing in general and was happy with a minor role) and the moment she said yes it was like the stars aligned or something. Then I got increasingly obsessed with the musical and started kinsidering if I'm Mercutio and I kinfirmed it pretty fast due to the whole 'everything feels wrong if I'm not Mercutio' thing.
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Specific kin asks:
What is the most important relationship(s) you had as [kin]? Or do you have a comfort character that links to [kin]?
I was closest to Benvolio, and now he's my comfort character too
Give a brief summary of your kin timeline! Or write about why you kin [character].
(I dont understand the question so im gonna skip this. I'll figure out what a kin timeline is later)
Do you have any music you associate with [kin]? If you want to list multiple songs!
Pretty much all the songs from source that I sing in.
Does your kin (or anyone else) have a queer identity in your memories? If you don't have any memories, do you have a headcanon for [kin] or anyone else?
Yes! I was pansexual and homoromantic, pretty sure Benvolio was bisexual, and I have a strong suspicion Romeo was aromantic (ironic, I know) because he did NOT know what romance actually is and I doubt he wouldve figured it out.
What are your most comforting memories? If you don't have any memories, do you have any scenes from source that bring you comfort?
I do have a few memories of waking up with Benvolio in the morning and just lying there together for a while. No details though, they're pretty vague. I remember things that were shown in source a lot better that things that happened outside of source canon.
What hobbies did you have as [kin]? Or are there any you do to feel connected with [kin]?
I think I remember I liked to dance, but I literally cannot dance in this life (well I cant do modern dances at least) and it makes me sad 😔
As [kin] were there any fashion types you enjoyed and/or wore? Is there any fashion types you'd like to see [kin] wearing?
I'm... pretty sure my entire closet was purple.
Were there any differences in your kins canon appearance to your kin timeline? If not is there any differences would make to your canon apperance?
Nope I was pretty much identical to source.
Do you have any food that you link to [kin]? Did you enjoy eating this food or is there another reason?
GELATO I remember loving that stuff and I still do!
Did you listen to any music as [kin]? Or what music do you associate with [kin]?
I didn't listen to music, I WAS the music (being from a musical be like)
What does your fandom get right about [kin]? Why do they get wrong?
Someone headcanoned my last name is Bellerose instead of Escalus and I have absolutely noooooo clue where they got that from but I'm 99% sure that actually was my last name in my canon.
Also I did flirt with Tybalt, but only to get him angry WHICH HE DID, EVERY SINGLE TIME and it was HILARIOUS. BUT I definitely did not like him and he did not like me either. Fandom ships us 9 times out of 10 and I'll never escape the fanart so I've accepted my fate. I'm also a fan of my source so from a fan perspective I actually kinda ship it myself but not in a serious way. I just think it's funny lmao
Are there any similarities between canon [kin] and you? Is there anything canon got wrong?
Hmmm everything was accurate I think
Do you have any regrets as [kin]? What would you have done differently?
Perhaps picking a fight with Tybalt was not such a good idea after all. Actually forget perhaps that was definitely not a good idea and if I ever meet canonmates (unlikely) or sourcemates (also unlikely) I'm pretty sure they'll say the same
What was your universe/world like as [kin]? Or what would it be like living in the world of [kin]?
Everyone hated everyone else basically
Favourite part about being [kin]? Why?
Hmmm... everything?
Least favourite part about being [kin]? Why?
THE OBSCURITY OF MY SOURCE I JUST WANT SOME SOURCEMATES PLEASE
Do you have a favourite picture of your kin? If not is there any of a comfort character?
EVEN BETTER I HAVE MULTIPLE :D
And this is me and Benvolio while my uncle sings the first song in the musical and absolutely killed it ✨
Large kin ask game
Notes: I tried to make these friendly to both kin with memories and folk who kin with no memories! Also the second set of questions are heavily linked to fictionkin, but feel free to use for any kin type!
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General kin asks:
🏆. Who are your main kins? Is there a reason they're your main kins?
🤯. How many kins are you aware of? If you don't want to list them all that's fine, just do your top ones.
👤. Who is the most recent kin you have discovered? Do you have any information on them (ie kin type, what happened in your canon, ect)?
🦧. Do you have a kin you didn't expect to kin but did?
🍿. Do you have a 'kin type' (Ie do you always kin characters with black hair, do you kin characters with a temper, ect)? Can you relate this 'type' to yourself currently?
🦄. Is there a character from media that you haven't engaged with that you're kinsidering?
🌐. Do you have any kins that take place in an AU? Or any kin you'd like to see in an AU?
🌟. Do you have a favorite kin? Why are they your favorite?
📚. Is there a kin source you have that no one else seems to kin from?
🪶. Do you have a specific kin type (ie otherkin, fictionkin, objectkin, ect) that you lean towards?
🌱. If you could live in any of the worlds your kin is from, which one would you like to live in?
🪀. Have you met any canonmates before? If so which canons/kins?
🎆. Do you have any kins that are no longer main kins for you? Who are they?
🪄. How did you discover being kin? If you don't want to share for any reason, what age did you learn about kin?
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Specific kin asks:
💕. What is the most important relationship(s) you had as [kin]? Or do you have a comfort character that links to [kin]?
🖋. Give a brief summary of your kin timeline! Or write about why you kin [character].
🎶. Do you have any music you associate with [kin]? If you want to list multiple songs!
🌈. Does your kin (or anyone else) have a queer identity in your memories? If you don't have any memories, do you have a headcanon for [kin] or anyone else?
🍃. What are your most comforting memories? If you don't have any memories, do you have any scenes from source that bring you comfort?
🥁. What hobbies did you have as [kin]? Or are there any you do to feel connected with [kin]?
👗. As [kin] were there any fashion types you enjoyed and/or wore? Is there any fashion types you'd like to see [kin] wearing?
🪞. Were there any differences in your kins canon appearance to your kin timeline? If not is there any differences would make to your canon apperance?
🍔. Do you have any food that you link to [kin]? Did you enjoy eating this food or is there another reason?
🎧. Did you listen to any music as [kin]? Or what music do you associate with [kin]?
🐣. What does your fandom get right about [kin]? Why do they get wrong?
🐦. Are there any similarities between canon [kin] and you? Is there anything canon got wrong?
💧. Do you have any regrets as [kin]? What would you have done differently?
🗺. What was your universe/world like as [kin]? Or what would it be like living in the world of [kin]?
💖. Favourite part about being [kin]? Why?
💔. Least favourite part about being [kin]? Why?
🖼. Do you have a favourite picture of your kin? If not is there any of a comfort character?
🎲. Send a question I haven't thought of!
#pretty sure I was in some sort of kinshift by the time I got halfway through this lmao#💜✨#mercutio fictionkin#fictionkin ask game#fictionkin#romeo et juliette fictionkin#romeo and juiet fictionkin#retj fictionkin#romeo and juliet kin
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just wanted to make a color ref for Brain Therapist Magneto from 309 but i needed lights too for some reason
bonus The Flats Only Version
#xmen#erik lehnsherr#magneto#xmen comics#snap sketches#why did half of my beginning tags just get neutralized. tf. now i have to retype them and this tag'll make no sense#anyway 'have you done literally anything but think about 309 since you read it' no . apparently vJARLKAJKL#BUT YEAH I JUST WANTED A COLOR REF IF IM GONNA DRAW THIS LOOK MORE OR WHATEVER#i dont know if i like the yellow dress shirt + pink tie combo ... that's inspo'd from his new mutants headmaster suit + tie..#why does he have to wear a suit under the coat huh .. the thing is i have no idea if he's supposed to be wearing a dr's coat or a trench#i mean he briefly wears his magneto suit when scolding charles so maybe it is a doctor's coat....#doctor makes the most sense to me considering the context so thats why i went all white but... now im not so sure ...#UGH stupid beautiful comic had to be in monochrome. or limited colors whatever#anyway i did start some doodles cause i wanted to post a few 309 doodles but. hm.#i think i might make a separate post for it ... it may be a lil inapropro !!!!#i wanted a color ref in the first place because i was thinking about making a 309 comic but like#now that i think of it if i do that i might jsut do the blue/black thing they did in the actual comic..#idk the thing im doodling now i might do in full color. just for fun#tbh maybe i wont do that comic after i doodle this.. no im lying i still will i still have visions i wanna put in front of my eyes#i can only fall asleep thinking about it so much i need it tangible#if i do draw it i prob just wont post it or ill just share it with select friends. aka like. one vjAELKVJEAKJ#but that's like months from now lbr ok ill still share crumbs with you all !!!!! gimme like. five hours vJALKJAKL#ok bye !!!!!!!!! please enjoy therapist magneto in the meantime#you will not get better as an individual you will get worse
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Hi! Just curious. What exactly is that you didn't like about Viktor's arc? I've seen a few people saying the same thing and idk if I'm missing something or I'm just too over the moon about him that my brain has gone smooth haha.
oh no oh no i'm probably going to write like a whole dissertation about this I am so sorry I'm literally cracking my knuckles I have so many thoughts and not all of them I'll even get to articulate here.
Saying this upfront: you aren't smooth-brained for disagreeing with me or liking it. I want to say that outright as I'm a very opinionated person and I am going to state my very strong opinions very plainly.
That being said : I genuinely feel like season 2 needed like... character writing 101 for a lot of these characters, especially the two characters whose names start with a 'V'. I'm so serious if one of my students brought in a story like this, I would (gently) take it apart.
If you don't want to read the whole thing I'm about to unleash, the crux of it is this for me:
Throughout the course of the season, it's very hard to discern how many of Viktor's decisions are his own. He lacks the baseline autonomy that's necessary for satisfying development. The magic of the hexcore becomes a shiny distraction that makes meaningful development impossible. Additionally, season 2 forgets so many of the themes and threads they explored with Viktor in season one explicitly in terms of class and his position on war and weapons manufacturing.
And, like almost everything in season 2, these issues are compounded because his story is done at a pace that's completely lightning-fast and prioritizes the wrong things.
Here's my thesis:
How Does a Man Like Viktor Become the Machine Herald? Arcane's Answer: Magic orb or vague sadness or something idk.
Harry Lloyd said in a season 1 commentary somewhere that one of the main appeals for Viktor is knowing who he is in the game and wondering how you take a man like him, who is so kind and has people's best interests at heart, and see him slowly become the machine herald.
I agree 100% that this is part of the story's appeal for players. And it would be a delight and surprise for non-players.
We... get that very juicy premise ripped from us. We don't see him making decisions grounded in the character they set up in season 1 at all, really. And its very unsatisfying seeing him be rendered a mere victim of circumstance with vague attachments to his past self.
This is not necessarily a complaint about arcane herald vs machine herald (I did not play league and am not attached to the lore) but a complaint that a lot of what happens with Viktor in season 2 seems very unattached to his psychology.
Christian Linke himself said (and I forget where, so I am sorry if I'm paraphrasing terribly) that part of the question he wanted the audience to ask with Viktor is how much of this is really him? Bluntly. That is incredibly silly. It's such an important question that it makes all other interesting questions one might have about him really hard to parse.
That's not compelling. That's a mistake. That's not rooted in character anymore but a vague magical orb.
Here are some questions that would have been more interesting for us to ask, Christian.
How does his desire to tamper out human emotion prompt him to do the unspeakable? What leads him there?
How far is he willing to go to take away human pain and suffering?
Is his version of pacifism really, in actuality, a form of violence?
Will his connection with others be enough to bring him back to his humanity? (this is a question we were not prompted to ask, and if we were, it would have made the final scene (which I love regardless) a lot more satisfying.
What is the root of his hunger for power? How much of his quest is a hunger for power and control over others (rooted in a fractured and tragic sense of self)? and how much is it rooted in his desire to help? Where is that line?
Any of these questions or any other questions we could enjoy exploring with Viktor become tampered with and weakened by the fact that a vague magical entity is controlling him in a vague and unrelatable way.
In short, 'How much of Viktor is still Viktor?' is a far less interesting question than. 'how is Viktor going to act, change, and learn? ' We are forced to ask the first at the cost of the second. He clearly is not fully himself this season.
The Dropping of Themes and Traits
Season 1's exploration of Viktor was multi-layered and fascinating. I feel like we got to see the establishment of a kind-hearted, sometimes awkward yet quite funny, passionate scientist.
I don't feel we see much of any of this in season 2. The stupid fucking orb overrides a lot of the traits we've come to know and love. This would have been cool if done with an ounce of care, understanding, or autonomy.
In season 1, we see Viktor in a position of powerlessness over and over. We see Viktor ignored and looked down upon by those in power both for his disability and, crucially, for his status as a Zaunite.
We're introduced to him as someone who is desperate to prove himself and carve a place for himself. He knows he's brilliant. And he knows he can help people with that big brain of his. That's all he wants. And he wants to make his mark (something I theorize is rooted in his loneliness as well as his ambition)
(Side note: I find a lot of the debate on whether or not Viktor is insecure a little silly because you can be both confident and insecure. He's incredibly secure in his abilities as a scientist, but I fully do believe he places all his worth on his work because he's not as confident in other places - represented visually by him trying to point out his boat when Sky is looking at him in the flashback. A 'don't look at me look at what I've made' type thing.)
Anyways. Viktor is willing to risk his position as an assistant and, honestly, his position at the academy and in Piltover as a whole to help Jayce. This is not just because he's 'lol so chaotic' or whatever. This is actually quite calculated. He knows he will get nowhere in Piltovian society without bending rules, because Piltover was not built for people like him.
"Do you think it was my life's ambition to be an assistant?"
But even in taking that huge step for himself, his new role is complicated.
We see him sit through meetings where his people are talked about like burdens. We see his closest (and honestly only) ally and partner speak over him in meetings and overrule his desires and wants when it comes to the future of hextech in massive ways. We see Jayce call all Zaunites 'dangerous' (I love jayce... don't shoot me please. But we do often forget that this does canonically happen and what makes Jayce so incredible is that he grows from this point)
The moment on the bridge directly causes him not to tell Jayce about what he's doing to himself. Jayce apologizing right after doesn't matter so much as it reinforces one of Viktor's fears: he is alone.
We see his illness, !!!!caused by Piltover's oppression!!!!, take over. We see him and Jayce grow apart. We see the way his loneliness impacts his desperation and the way his desperation impacts his loneliness and we see the way he's so damn afraid and just wants to live. We see how much he wants to help people, and how even though he's tried so hard he never got to achieve that because the limits of this society just don't allow for it.
Season 1 Act one is Viktor taking action for himself. season 1 Acts 2 and 3 are a brutal reminder that no matter how hard he works. No matter how hard he claws. He will always be who he is. And that makes him Powerless in this society. I honestly find it a really compelling storyline in terms of the 'bootstrap theory' and debunking that - but a different topic for a different time!
At the end of the season, he's able to gain a huge amount of power - speaking at the council about freeing his city - through Jayce's platforming and allyship. But at the end of the day it doesn't matter, because what the council is doing is too little too late - people in Zaun are too tired and too hurt - and he gets caught in the crossfire.
Despite all this, Season 2 does not engage with Viktor's being a Zaunite outside of the fact that he returns to Zaun first. But the themes explored related to class and power are gone - as they are with everyone else really.
It makes sense to me that one of the first things Viktor would do when granted a new body and new power would be to go and try to help people in Zaun, but the ambiguous mechanisms of the magic inside him, the immediate divorce with Jayce, and the bizarre way he goes about it don't make this land.
And even the return is rendered sort of meaningless. Where is the personal connection to this place? Why are we given no details related to his past here? Why doesn't he return to somewhere more personal for him?
He speaks in this cold, unaffected monotone. This healing ability seems to be the 'recursive impulse' - so him finally getting to help people just like he wanted feels rooted so much in the arcane influence it becomes murky and strange.
This is more nitpicky, and I'd be okay with it being ignored in the right context - but another aspect of his character that gets dropped is his work as a scientist. His desire to help people not through magic, but through invention. This would have been fascinating. (They try to keep this alive through vague allusions to 'look at what I've created' blah blah but again, so much of it is all ORB)
What inventions would a fully autonomous Viktor who decided to leave Jayce and return to Zaun of his own fruition create? Would they toe the line between inventions of progress and inventions of destruction?
Guess we'll never know!
Speaking of weapons. Let's talk about weapons. Let's talk about Viktor's vehement opposition to weapons not being explored within the context of his relationship with Jayce or outside of the rule that there are none allowed in the commune - which becomes quite meaningless when he agrees to work with Ambessa. Yes - he saw those blueprints on the table. But that's all we get.
Also, the fact that Jayce just unquestionably builds hextech weapons in the finale, and they're used as a good thing and a way to fight off Noxus, makes me want to claw my own hair out. Like - my themes ! Not my precious themes !
Let's also talk about him working with Ambessa. There's no build-up to that decision, not near enough character work to make that believable and considering the way the plot is written elsewhere, I fully believe this is a huge part of the problem of the writer's room dropping the issue of class. The idea that Viktor, the character that they set up, would ever willingly work with Ambessa is laughable. There are so many other ways he could have gotten to the hexcore in his fully evolved form, easily bested Jayce, and evolved. And they did absolutely nothing in the writing of season 2 to make that an interesting or satisfying choice.
An arc is only an arc if there is substance between point a and b. There's no substance here. There's vague orb. There are little glimpses of the pain he's in because of his separation from Jayce. Teeny tiny allusions to him trying to shut down his emotions. That's simply not enough.
You cannot bring a character who values choice and autonomy, whose been made to feel so powerless and is empathetic, to "choice is meaningless" without a deep study of his psychology and pain. Viktor taking away the autonomy of others, inhabiting their bodies. Being super chill with it. Okay. Coo.
Where does his desire for evolution even come from? For real? Because they seem to mistake Viktor's ambition with his desire for perfection, which is something that was never really... brought up? It could be believable that he felt this way. But where were the signs of this? Not just in season 1 but in season 2. He always wanted to help, not make humanity perfect. Because this is grounded in so little emotional logic I assume we're supposed to be satisfied with the idea that magic orb + machine herald form = ??? this ??? like ??? why???
If he wants to create a world where nobody can feel pain or complex emotions of any sort anymore, which is not psychologically where he was at the end of season 1 at all despite all he went through, you have to give us an event (ideally multiple) in season 2 that could break his mind this badly. Jayce killing him could have been this, but it happened so fast and was executed so impersonally that it doesn't work. He doesn't really acknowledge it happened the next time they see each other. Which... would probably be important to do... again emotional logic where?
His entire speech about humanity at the end of episode 6 feels like it's trying to be a catalyst. But it also feels... incredibly generic and impersonal. It felt written to play over a flashy montage of all the other characters fighting. Not for Viktor. If this was Viktor's moment where he finally snaps, we should probably focus on Viktor. And, of course, it doesn't help that he has this odd monotone this whole time, as if he's not fully in control of himself (this is not a rip on Harry Lloyd at all. He did what he was told and did it very, very well.)
Because remember. They wanted us to ask this. They wanted us to ask how much of this was orb. I think because they knew on some level they could not create a compelling enough story to get viktor where they wanted him to be for some reason without orb. That none of this would make sense without the vague spice of the arcane. And guess what it still doesn't.
Becuase people will not relate to a vague arcane influence. Connect to it. We would want to see what actually in his life made him become this. What in his psychology outside of magic orb made him do this? They provide vague tastes of this in the same way La Croix flavors its drinks.
Brought Back Wrong Can Work: Here's Why This One Didn't
I also really hate the trope of killing off characters only to bring them back. And back again. And... again. Because guess what. It takes one of the core elements of the human experience - death- and cheapens it. This for sure happens with Viktor the second time he dies.
But what i do like about bringing someone back from the dead is when you consider how doing so can bring someone back wrong. Or changed.
But because the orb is so impersonal. So bland. Such a vague sinister force that has very little to do with character, it doesn't... work. It doesn't hit. Viktor doesn't really grapple with being brought back from the dead against his will in a meaningful way.
Timing
You can see concepts of a plan, if you will, within this story. I can see how Viktor would naturally go to the undercity after waking up changed with new healing powers. But it happens way to fast. So bizarrely. I can see how he would build a society like this (of course, the power of that is dulled because orb and by the fact that we don't see it happen). I can see how the pain of being rejected and left behind by the only person who made him feel like he wasn't alone (Jayce) could have lead to a category 5 'make me evil' sort of meltdown.
Becoming the Herald, asking Singed to begin the transformation, is the only true time in this show in act 2 (before his final moments) where it feels like he's making a choice for himself. But again, we get so little time with him. To see his emotions. To elegantly point from that moment with Jayce to Viktor's need to transform and in doing so rid himself of emotion (something that they did not expand on enough ) Like oh my god, how much more satisfying would it have been to see Viktor torn apart by his own emotions - in his own viktor way - and to have singed offer him a way out of his pain - and then have viktor take it. There are certain things that should be obvious.
But It's both the timing of and the structure of the story - how quickly we cut between plotlines - that makes this really hard to follow. That makes moments that could be something feel rushed and sloppy.
Let's Talk about Sky
Viktor's guilt over sky was absolutely reasonable to explore, but it was not.... all that haunted him. To make Sky the sole guide/companion to him in the astral/arcane headspace I found to be a bizarre and honestly kind of offensive choice.
Amanda overton said she was used as a "Jayce substitute" essentially. And... why? Literally why. Why would you write a character whose sole deal is having an unrequited crush on a man only to bring her back to be 'the embodiment of his guilt and loneliness' as well as a 'substitute' - it feels... icky to me? Just in a writing women and especially women of color point of view? And it didn't feel true to Viktor's character either.
I think if we actually got to know sky better in season 1, this would have worked because it would have been obvious how different she was, how she was a product of his mind or the hexcore or whatever (the lore being vague here doesn't help...)
Plot Twist because I keep hating on Orb: They Could Have Made The Orb Really Cool
Here's the thing. Magic influence on its own can be used to write extremely compelling plots. Walk with me.
Imagine Viktor wakes up. Immediately knows something's wrong with him. That something inside him is toying with him. Making him see things (visions of not only sky, but maybe his parents, Jayce, Heimer). He wakes up earlier in act 1. Despite his anger, he stays with jayce in order to better understand himself and his powers. All the while, he is haunted by whispers and visions of the hexcore. What if it whispers to him of his own insecurities and failures?
What if Things with Jayce are tense. Jayce has to admit to making weapons again, in an argument leading to more haunting visions from the hexcore offering him an out: emotional numbness. You would never have to feel again Viktor. If you let me in fully, you would never have to be alone again. You'd be more powerful, Viktor.
Imagine Viktor is there during that attack ambessa orchestrated. That he has the horror of witnessing Jayce wield his hammer in a genuine attempt to defend himself and the people he loves. He sees first hand how hextech is being used for destruction in a way that horrifies him.
Imagine him being accused of being a part of it because he's a Zaunite - humiliated in some way. Publicly. Imagine the emotional trauma of this resulting in a falling out so devastating he embraces his visions of the hexcore - gives into the numbness. And only then leaves. With the hexcore... he feels better than he has in years. He hopes he can give the gift of this to others. Now he is under orb influence, but now the way he's gotten there is more satisfying to me at least.
Now imagine him fighting the orb influence in key moments. Imagine the color in his eyes coming back. Imagine Viktor's relationship with the arcane being more of a dance than a vague entanglement. Imagine its influence haunting him in the same way Jinx's visions haunt her. Imagine it being personal rooted in his character.
Old Man Viktor
Listen. I am the old man Viktor connoisseur. I love him. I love the idea of him. I wrote a whole fic about him, during which I had to spend a lot of time with the story. It's sort of... very much impossible to make much sense of?
I'm not mad at the fact that it's an obvious retcon. Honestly, because I think from a storytelling perspective, it worked a lot better than most of the decisions they made this season.
But I'm not a fan of (shocking) how little time we spend with him. How little chance we get to understand his motivatons. And also. What the fuck he said to Jayce to make Jayce's first line of action killing him? In my fic, I made it that Jayce needed to shoot Viktor to get the hexcore out, so he could communicate to viktor without influence. But that felt like heavy lifting I shouldn't necessarily have to do for something so important. It also doesn't feel like a compelling or satisfying question to make your audience have to wrestle with.
The Final Scene
Want to say upfront I am not one of the people who did not like Jayce's speech.
I was quite moved by it. And aside from the perhaps out of place mention of the illness brought on by Piltover which I can understand the criticism for, I felt it was beautiful. (I am disabled btw)
That being said. I think i'd be a sobbing mess on the floor if the themes Jayce is presenting in his speech were more present throughout season 2. Because we really don't see this enough - the desire for perfection.
I'm also not one of those people who thinks Viktor's insecurities weren't present in season 1. To me, they were and were obvious, but not enough in his motivations and actions in season 2 to make Jayce's speech land like it could.
I really loved Jayce's arc in season 2. Him immediately embracing Viktor after he woke from the goo was surprising but felt right. But I wish they had more genuine conflict rooted in their conflict in season 1 that would allow their final moment to land even harder.
I really liked the final scene, and it made me an emotional mess. But weirdly, I'd almost like it as a short film removed from the context of the season two, which says just how little Viktor's arc this season contributed to the moment.
Final Thoughts
I'm so sorry I went so in-depth. I just love him as a character and feel he was very much not done justice.
We can attribute some of this to the lack of time. But when you know you have a lack of time, you need to write with that in mind instead of trying to do it all. And ultimately, I found a lot of scenes this season a waste of precious time. They had so many characters alone contemplating something intangible or alone and trapped for episodes. They didn't plan this with the care and precision needed to pull it off.
I also want to note that I know I say here a lot that there's a lot they needed to make "more obvious". This is not because I'm stupid. But when you're a writer, you need to know what to highlight and what you can leave vague so you leave your audience exploring the right nuances and asking the satisfying questions.
Anyways umm. The end. Holy shit, I'm so sorry I wrote so much.
#i literally typed this in a caffine induced frenzy#oh my god its so long kldfjashdlkfjsd#im sure there are things i missed or did not explain well#ask bee#how many times can i hate on orb#SDKLFJD#its not even an orb#i know this#if someone reads this whole thing they deserve a cookie or something#see this is why tumblr might be a problem for me actually#no character limit DKJFHSDLKF#if you keep reading this could very much be like a do you like the color of the sky situation#where you have to just keep scrolling and scrolling#god i need work to start back up again KLDFJSHDFLK#side note one of my twitter moots got a strawpage anon that was like#you hate his arc you must hate viktor#which is so funny because#i literally love him so much#that's why i hate his arc KLDFJHSD#one thing i do like about viktors storyline and i still dont think it fully works#is how many of his principles he clung to even under magical influence#at least at the start#bee talks arcane
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“he was mentally ill. this monster was a- was a sick fantasy. a product of his dementia.”
“…i saw it too. does that make me disturbed? demented? does… that make me sick too?”
#txf#the x files#dana scully#fox mulder#folie a deux#this episode … this EPISODE!!!!!!#genuinely so indicative of how much they trust each other….#between mulder just . having to rely on scully for the last part of the ep#scully thinking he’s off his fucking rocker and still looking into what he asks her to look into bc she TRUSTS him . bc she LOVES him !!!!#and maybe he’s a little nuts but goddamnit she will at least check it out !! just in case he’s right!!!#AND she lies for him all the time . i mean she always does this whenever he decides to go nuts But specifically in this ep…#looks skinner in the eye and goes . yea man im totally fully with mulder on this . and he’s definitely not being weird and i definitely kno#what’s going on with him#she lies for mulder all the time its soooo…#anyways . drawing wise this drove me nuts i hate drawing mulder . he’s so hard for me to draw#they’re kinda kirie and shuichi coded in the bottom part but . well . why not . might as well be#ALSOOO i chose that quote for the bottom bc . well . does she think he’s crazy? like actually for real?#i feel like every time scully talks about mulder (up to season five at least as thats where im at) its contained in some way?#in her reports . to family . to skinner . to mulder !#i think the only time she’s Really honest is in the confessional but even then…#bc its not like she’s against speaking her mind . i mean generally and situational but for ppl she’s close to she usually isnt#but when it comes to mulder it always feels contained and like she’s making excuses for him (he is always her exception .#llike whenevrr he gets some disease or affliction or whatever she ALWAYS jumps to going ‘but well… sometimes there’s this excuse’ and she#does this w a lot considering shes science focused but w mulder shes always like . well he ISNT crazy because uhhhh .#this hyperspecific scenario that is in no fuckin way the case)#but does she think he’s crazy? does HE think she thinks he’s crazy?#is he asking about this specific case or is he asking in general? over the entirety of the show?#its been five years scully. is he crazy? sick? demented?#has this all been a sick fantasy fueled by mental illness? youre the doctor scully . surely you have the answer?#anyways i dont think she knows . and if that is the case — what does that mean for her?
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Thanks for this. I really appreciate. I do want to say that had I not found your post I was going to make my own post about this moment BECAUSE it hit me so hard as a white person. But this was an all black show for a reason and I'm trying to amplify black voices as best I can. I am NOT staying silent right now. im am doing everything I can right now to listen and learn and then spread that information (specifically to a few family members). It's not that i don't think it's my place or that I don't have anything to contribute. It's that I KNOW that black people have a deeper understanding of this than I do and they dont need to hear my thoughts. My dad on the other hand who said he was "not bothered one way or the other" absolutely does need to hear my take though because quite frankly he should be bothered. It should upset him and his humanity to look at and think about where all the symbolism in this performance comes from and what it means.
The internet does not need my take in this particular conversation because there are millions of people with lived experience that can and will say it better. The white people in my life who don't understand? Those are the people that i need to talk to because they're not even aware that they're doing it but they aren't ready to hear these things from black people yet. Its my job right now to make sure that they are examining why that is. Its my job right now to listen to black people and help spread their words and to help protect them from the people who aren't willing to learn.
this part of kendricks halftime show has been on my mind violently since i saw it.
the street lights, chalk outline dead bodies (red clearly symbolizing bloods, blue crips, which is only more proven by Serena doing the Crip Walk wearing all blue), and the only ones left alive and dancing are the ones in white (who clearly represent white people)
and the way theyre in a circle on the upper left hand of the rectangle makes it look like the betsy ross flag
kendrick lamar the man you are
#but when its my turn? to speak on lgbtq+ issues you best believe ill be there#ill also be honest and say that im doing a lot of learning right now#there are a lot of references that i didnt or dont fully understand and am having to research#so im not in a place where im comfortable making statements and pointing things out#im in a place where im asking questions and doing research#despite that#i am talking to people i know irl#using my voice on a small scale#just this morning i talked about this shot with a group of friends and mentioned how the first thought i had was#“they are the corpses of all the black people who have died to get us to where we are today”
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