#i dont know why i keep aspiring to be an artist and look at other successful artists and want to be like them

[sxtvrns]

the firsts i’ve never felt

🎶 now playing: clementine - grentperez

P: Kim Jongseob x Fem!Reader

S: You find yourself wandering the headquarters after being left unattended. He finds himself unreasonably intrigued by you.

C: meet cute, fluff, puppy love, inaccuracy, a bit sloppy, mentions of bullying, kinda rushed?

N: i’ve transformed my entire feed and started a bunch of masterlists and stuff! this fic is part of one of them that i need to design and stuff but i hope you’re loving the organization because i certainly am. i really wanna write but my brain is running out of scenarios i can work off of so if you dont hear from me for a while you know why. if i don't get a hair colour right sue me i can't memorize everything | all ages listed are korean, not international!

view the rest of the conversations ☆彡

please interact if you enjoy!

“Hey, honey, do you wanna come and visit my new job today? They’re showing me around, and you’re planning to work in the entertainment industry behind the scenes, aren’t you?”

…sounds like a super unprofessional thing for your mom to say on her first day of the job. However, the staff gave her leeway somehow after saying you were an aspiring makeup artist with a growing following. She said you could join in a few years, if you’d like. You still had time to think about it.

“So, how old is your daughter?” The employee asks.

“16.”

“What kind of makeup does she do?”

“She has a rather… broad spectrum. I could go into specifics but that would require me showing you examples and taking up your time.”

“Oh, go ahead! Besides, I could use a break from the work.”

The door to the elevator opens with a ding, both adults behind you not seeming to pay attention. You quickly but stealthy walk off the elevator, their attention still focused on your mom’s phone. As the doors close, they still don’t seem to notice, instead they continue going up, and you’re left alone in the quiet, empty hallway.

Somewhat quiet, actually. There was loud music coming from some of the rooms you could hear from outside as you walked by. Your phone buzzed in your hand, though you aren’t bothered to check it until another staff member sees you in the hall. She goes on her phone, types rapidly on the screen, and starts walking towards you.

You walk away from her at a quickened pace, turning the corner and beginning to run. You turn the corner again, briefly glancing at the rooms as you pass by, all of them with people inside and the lights on. Except for one.

The sound of steps sounded like it grew withe presence of multiple people, so you had no time to check and instead opened the door, and to your relief, no one was inside. You shut it quietly, hiding against the wall in hopes that the crowd passes by.

The buzzing from your phone earlier was frantic texts from your mom, asking where you went and specifying that the staff was now looking for you. You replied calmly that you ‘took yourself on your own tour’ and ‘got off as a joke in hopes she would notice’. You could practically hear her sigh at her phone as she responds with ‘i’ll keep you updated’ before leaving you on read.

You slide down against the wall, sitting and observing the environment around you. This was a dance studio, one of many that looked the same as some of the others. You didn’t want to get caught, so you stayed there for a bit on your phone, caught off guard at the sound of someone opening the door.

At first you panic, thinking someone from staff found you, but it was just some guy adorned in all black with a beanie and a mask, taking both of them off and somehow not noticing you.

You spoke too soon.

the first meet.

His eyes widened at the sight of you, the door he held open by a sliver. You hear something from outside.

“Jongseob, there’s some new hire’s daughter on the loose and she was last seen on this floor, have you seen her?” A staff member asks, the boy’s head peeking back in to look at you. You frantically shake your head and gesture for him to keep his mouth shut as he peeks out the door right after.

“I haven’t seen her, sorry.”

He fully closes the door this time, a sigh of relief escaping you as your eyes stayed glued on the boy that was nice enough to not snitch. “What are you doing here?” He asks, a reasonable question since you were in the studio for a reason other than dancing. “My mom works here. She’s starting today. And… I may or may not have gotten off the elevator too early.” You try to sum it up.

“Why?”

“Um, they were distracted. And I didn’t think the door would close right after I got off.”

“How did they even let you in?”

“I might work someplace like this as a makeup artist. When I’m older. My mom brought me along for her tour, and… that’s how I ended up here. I was running away from staff. If you want, I can leave.”

“I didn’t lie just for you to get out and defeat the whole purpose of it. It’s okay, you can stay as long as you need to.”

“Really? I’m not intruding?”

“My members won’t be here for the next little while, if you’re overwhelmed by the presence of multiple men.”

His joke makes you laugh, and you inch out of the corner you’re hiding in more, seeing him walk towards you and open the laptop on the desk. “How old are you now?” He suddenly asks, a question you find odd at first.

“16.” (international age = 14, turned 15 after a few weeks)

“Really? Me too.”

“You looked a little young. Are you a trainee?”

“I actually debuted a few weeks ago. We’re doing some promotional stuff and we have practice today.”

“Do you want me to leave when they arrive?”

“You can stay for now. It’s up to the leader if he wants you in or not. I guess if you aren’t distracting, you could watch. But I gotta wait for him.”

“I’ll check you guys out sometime. All the groups are listed in the lobby, so…”

“P1Harmony. You’ll find us easily.”

Quiet clicks come from the mousepad, as you merely stare up at him, who seems to be so focused on the screen in front of him. He looks up, then looks down at you, and your observing gaze fixed on his face. He ponders, before holding his hand out. “Nice to meet you. I’m–“

“Jongseob. You’re Jongseob.”

You finish his sentence for him, leaving him visibly surprised as you shake his hand.

“Um, I heard them say your name from the hall.” You explain, him nodding. “I’m Y/N.”

“That’s a pretty name.”

You find yourself blushing. “Thank you… um, also for not snitching. I texted my mom that I was okay, so everything should be fine now.”

“That’s good. Maybe don’t get off the elevator while she’s distracted next time.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Music starts playing from the speakers, Jongseob walking away to the center of the room to warm up. Your eyes are on him the entire time, since there was nothing else you could focus on. Even if you tried going on your phone, the music would draw your attention away from it.

You had a short attention span.

But watching Jongseob merely warm up seemed to prove otherwise. Your eyes were glued to his movements and small yet precise spotting, how precise he was when he matched every beat and transition. You stared at his reflection and his back the whole time, gaze moving to his face.

He caught you staring, looking back at you through the reflection of the mirror with a subtle smirk before going back to dancing.

He comes back to pause the music while you space out staring at the floor, as he takes off his beanie and runs his hand through his hair. “How’d I do? Seemed like I caught your attention.”

You clear your throat. “Good. Really good.”

He believes you have another reason you aren’t telling him, still deciding to sit down beside you despite doing so. “What are you doing?” You ask, looking at him. “Sitting with you. Why, does this bother you?”

“No. Just… I thought you’d be warming up more. That seemed short.”

“It seemed short because you were watching me. I was dancing for, what, a little over 10 minutes? I think I’ve warmed up enough.”

“Right.” You say, kind of understanding what he’s saying. “I like your hair. The colour is very pretty.” A light purple that could be described as lavender was what it was. It painted him as docile, gentle. He seemed to be so, given he was sitting with you like this along the side of the room.

“Thank you.” He smiles, sounding genuine. So genuine, in fact, that he smiles at you for the first time with his teeth showing, his hand covering his mouth right after. You take a mental note of that habit. “When did you start training?” You ask.

“When I was 12.” (international age = 10, turned 11 later that year due to late birthday)

“That young?! When I was 12 I was still scared of the concept of paragraphs…”

“I’ve always wanted to be a singer. Perform for others. There was a chance, so I took it.”

“I admire you for that. Taking risks that benefited you later in the future.”

“You took a risk today.”

“I did?”

“You stepped off the elevator and outran a bunch of staff successfully.”

“And I benefited from it how?”

“You met me.”

You’re unsure if he’s flirting with you, but your face heats up regardless. “Yet I’ll never see you again. But… I enjoy your company. And I appreciate your kindness.” When you look up from the ground, he’s handing you his phone, the keypad open.

“Let’s keep in touch.”

At first, you’re a little stunned at his boldness. But you accept his offer, typing in your phone number and letting him do the same with your phone right after. “I’ll try to text you back when I can. I’m pretty busy.”

“And I’ll try to not keep my phone on silent. I’ve missed so many interviews because of it…”

“For part-time jobs?” You nod. “I later learned they weren’t paying what they should be, so I guess I dodged a bullet.”

“Do you have a job now?”

“I work at a convenience store for income. My mom’s always saying I never needed to take a part-time job claiming we’re somewhat rich, but I wanted a bit of independence for myself. And I get free food and snacks sometimes, so that’s a bonus.”

“If I come visit, will I get free food?”

“Convenience store snacks are cheap enough already. Maybe I’ll give you ₩489 off.”

(₩489 = 0.50 cents)

He laughs at your offer. “I’ll take it.”

The door suddenly opens, five other men coming in all at once, stopping once they notice the two of you sitting together against the wall.

“Hello.” Jongseob greets, getting up. “Who’s that?” One of them asks, looking at you. “A… friend.” He responds.

“How did she get in here?”

“Long story.”

Their stares are reasonable, yet they make you feel uncomfortable as you feel out of place cooped up against the wall. Jongseob seemed to notice, shooting you a quick question. “Are you okay?”

The sound of his has your head turned to face him as you nod, acting like you weren’t spaced out prior. “I’m fine. This is the rest of your group?”

“Yeah. You can stay for practice if you’d like. I’ll ask Keeho.”

Surely they wouldn’t mind, you were just afraid you’d misinterpret their gazes for glares that would scare you off. “I would, but I should go. I already texted my mom earlier that I’d be leaving while she was still working. But I’ll leave. I don’t want to be… distracting.”

“You aren’t distracting at all.” He attempts to reassure you.

“Says the one who was looking at me through the mirror’s reflection.”

“Jongseob, should we warm up?” One of the boys asks, taking off their hoodie and beanie while they all simultaneously look at the two of you. That was an indirect invitation saying that they were about to start, him getting up his spot and lending you a hand to do the same.

“Thank you, Jongseob. I’ll text you.” He nods with a smile as you leave the room, your fast paced steps almost being heard from the inside of the room.

“Who was that, Jongseob?” Theo asks as the youngest walks over. “A new friend. She kinda abandoned her mom unintentionally and hid in here from the staff.”

“Oh, her. The people downstairs were talking about it.” Intak adds.

“In a good way or a bad way?”

“Mixed. How come her mom brought her here?”

“Y/N’s planning to work in the industry as a makeup artist, and her mom wanted to show her a potential place for hiring since she’s already working here.”

“She said she’d text you.” ‘What does that mean?’ Keeho meant to ask.

“I gave her my number.”

They’re all surprised, wide eyed and everything. “Really?”

“I wanna talk to her more. I think you guys scared her off.”

“We don’t look scary.” Intak looks at himself, then everybody else. Jongseob’s eyes dart over all five of them briefly. “You guys look terrifying.”

“As if you weren’t wearing the same thing when you left the apartment.” Theo sneers, looking at him weirdly. “Hey, she liked my hair and I saved her from a bunch of staff. I’m a pretty approachable person even with the coverups.”

“You approached her.” Theo retorts.

“And?”

Intak, very obviously antsy, whines. “Can we just start, please? We’ll talk about this later.” He groans in distress, convincing the rest of the boys to move on. Keeho speaks up first from the sea of silent stares.

“Let’s go, then.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

On the way home from school, you usually take the shift right after at the convenience store you worked at. It was close to home but not far from school, you managed to be on time for majority of your shifts.

Your coworker seemed to be eye candy for the girls your age that came in, but you saw him more as an older brother figure. He was super nice and always filled in for when you weren’t feeling well, and frankly, you thought it was a bit strange girls your age were pining over a man in his late 20s.

You had your fair share of attraction to more famous people that were older than you, but the fact you knew your coworker long enough to know things about him kind of made some situations awkward. Sure, he was cute, but come on. He’s practically looking for an actual job already and the fact he’s stuck with you is because he actually enjoys his part-time and you two were always only available for the same time slot every day.

You weren’t working today. You knew he was. So you assumed that it would just be a straight shot walk home.

Until you remembered you were a victim of verbal harassment.

You never did anything wrong, you were just laughed at and picked on by a specific group of girls for a reason you didn’t know. You always believed it was because you were prettier than them, given that their crushes ended up all mutually pining over you rather than them.

It’s a joke that you laugh at with them at times, yet the girls still don’t seem to like you.

At least they weren’t cutting your hair or anything. You could take words but you couldn’t take a pencil being dug into your hand.

So when you saw those girls turn the corner, you ran, fingers crossed they didn’t see you.

“Y/N, come back! We have something to tell you!”

They saw you.

With your backpack almost falling off, and the sound of rapid footsteps that sounded like they were getting closer, you spot the convenience store you worked at and run in, your coworker behind the desk and watching you hide behind the shelf closest to the wall.

At first, you’re panting, out of breath and coughing as you try to get it back.

“Y/N?”

You look up.

Jongseob is standing there, fridge door held open by his hand with a drink in the other, small clouds of steam coming from the cool air hitting the heated room. “Hi.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You would’ve told him the truth if the story was so long. You peek up from the shelf, fully standing up when you see no one there. “Are you hiding from someone?” He asks, obviously and reasonably clueless as he lets the door close. You merely nod, seeing the girls out of the corner of your eye through the glass and ducking down again, dragging Jongseob along with you.

The bell above the door rings as shuffling can be heard going towards the counter.

“Shin-Il! We saw Y/N come in here, did you see her?” One of the girls’ ear piercing voices rings in your ears, their attempt at acting cute and desperate simply making you cringe. Luckily you told your coworker about your complicated situation with these girls. “No, sorry. She isn’t working today.”

While you’re mentally pleading that they don’t care enough to check around the store, Jongseob’s eyes stay on you and dart around just in case, being able to hear the brief conversation as he stares.

“We’re looking for her! Are you sure she isn’t in the bathroom or something?”

“She isn’t here. Maybe she went somewhere else.”

They all whine, leaving the store as you let out a sigh of relief. You look up to see Jongseob offering you a hand, which you accept, helping you up as you lean against the fridge door, in disbelief that those girls were so clueless.

“Why were they looking for you?”

“They hate me, that’s why.”

“Why would they hate you?”

“Because I’m prettier than them. Long story.”

“The boys they liked all ended up liking Y/N collectively. Friendly with the boys, tormented by the girls.” Shin-Il suddenly appears out of nowhere, handing you a small bottle of water. “Who’s this, Y/N?”

“My friend.”

“How do you two know each other?” Jongseob asks.

“We work together part-time. We always end up picking the same shifts, and I make sure she doesn’t get killed by her fellow classmates when they come to visit.”

“Are these girls really bullying you, Y/N? Have you brought it up with anyone?” Jongseob asks, the worry noticeable in his tone. “They haven’t physically harmed me. When you consider all the details, they’re just jealous.”

“I don’t know any of the details, and that’s why I’m concerned.”

“I’m fine, Jongseob, really. I think I just… need to stay in here for a while. Just in case they’re in any of the other stores.”

“I can walk home with you, if you’d like.” He starts. “Um, just in case they show up or something, I can like, cover you–“

“I’d like that.”

You cut him off with your straightforward answer, and he seemed to be content as he sends you a closed lip smile. “Are you ready to go? Do you want anything?” He asks, looking out the window just in case. “I haven’t eaten lunch today, but I don’t have enough money on me.”

“I can pay for you. Get whatever.”

“Really? But I don’t know when I’ll pay you back.”

“You don’t have to if you can’t.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“Jongseob–“

“Y/N, please. It’s okay, really. If you want to stay here and eat, you can do that too. I’ll wait.”

You feel a bit guilty as you get yourself dosirak and a small container of banana milk, seated at the window seat as Jongseob pays for your food. He sits down beside you, looking at the window and staring at you through your reflection in it. “Is it okay if you can tell me why those girls don’t like you?”

You swallow. “It’s really not a big deal, Jongseob.”

“Yes, it is. I know we’ve only ever talked a few times through text, but I’m… it sounds concerning that they’re willing to chase you for a few insults.” You sigh, taking a sip of your banana milk before trying to rack together all the pieces of the story.

“Well, Shin-Il kind of explained it to you already. Those girls have a crush on some guys, and those guys, at one point, ended up liking me. Now I just make fun of them for it as an inside joke, so I’m friendly with them. They don’t like me in that way anymore. Those girls dislike me because the guys liked me instead of them. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah. That’s… stupid.”

“It is. They’re too ignorant to see that there’s really nothing there anymore. Otherwise, I feel we could be good friends. But I’m patient enough to wait until they realize their harassment was for a reason thats existence already faded away.” You continue to wolf down on your food, as hungry as you were, Jongseob merely keeping watch outside and of you. To make sure you weren’t choking, of course.

As you leave the store and your walk home begins, so does the empty feeling in the air.

“Are you sure the walk home isn’t far?” You ask. “No, I’ll be okay. It won’t be dark for a bit.”

“And… I promise I’ll pay you back, okay?”

“You really don’t have to…”

“Yes, I do. I know you’re an idol and all that, but you’re still a human with morals.”

“If you insist. But if you can’t, you don’t have to.”

“I will.”

Jongseob’s beanie hides his vibrant purple hair, and as much as you are disappointed you aren’t able to see it, you understand that it would be a dead giveaway that he was in the entertainment industry.

“I watched your show the other day.”

“Really? How did I do?”

“You were awesome! I think it’s cool that there’s an idol out there my age, and I’m friends with you, no less. You looked really good, too.”

“Thank you…” He wasn’t expecting to get so flustered over your compliments. Lucky he had no choice but to wear his mask. Jongseob watches as you bring your phone to your ear as you send a greeting over to the person on the other side of the line.

“I’m coming, I’m on my way home.”

“Yes, I’m okay. I’m with a friend right now.”

“He’s walking home after me, he’ll be okay.”

“Look, can you not be go crazy over this right now? I’ll talk to you later.”

“What do you mean ‘you want to meet him’?! You never want to meet anyone!”

“Okay, okay, fine, just stop screaming in my ear. Bye.” You end the call and let out a frustrated growl as you tighten your grip on your phone. “Everything okay?” Jongseob asks hesitantly.

“Just because I said I’m walking home with a ‘he’ my mom’s freaking out over it and now she wants to meet you.”

“I think I’ve run into your mom while at headquarters. She acknowledges me but is usually in a rush.”

“She’s usually late, that’s why. But she always gets one step ahead of her work, so she always gets excused. But seriously, is it just because you’re a guy that she wants to meet you? She didn’t ask to meet my other female friends and they just met her voluntarily while walking with me.”

“What about your dad?”

“Overseas for work. He’s coming back in a few weeks. He’s much more laid back. I think my mom is a bit… overprotective. I can understand that, but she could’ve asked me to introduce you without screaming at me…”

“Is she… abusing you?”

“God, no! It’s just one of those days, y’know? Maybe she got pissed off she stubbed her toe or something. And just because she always wants to keep watch over me, I feel like retaliating.”

“Is that why you stepped off the elevator?”

“Not really. Maybe.”

He can’t help but smile after uncovering your true motive.

As you approach the door, you have no choice but to knock given that your keys were probably buried somewhere deep in your backpack. Your mom opens the door with a relieved sigh as she opens her arms for a hug, which you reluctantly accept in front of Jongseob. “I’m so sorry for yelling at you, honey, I… I was having a bad day and I took it out on you and I was worried that–“

“Mom. It’s okay, I get it.” She smiles softly, any grudge you held against her melting away instantly. It was surprising how she was able to manipulate you so quickly. “You’re friends with Jongseob?” She asks.

“You know his name?”

“Of course I know his name, your mom works at FNC too.” She says, referring to herself in the third person. “Are you sure you can walk home alone? Isn’t it a bit far by foot?”

“I’ll be okay, ma’am.”

“I can give you a ride, it’ll be much faster.”

“My dorm isn’t too far from here and it won’t be dark for a while. Thank you for the offer.”

“Get home safe, okay?”

“I will. Bye Y/N.” He says his goodbyes as he walks away from the premises of your house, your mom letting you in and closing the door fully. “You didn’t tell me you were friends with Jongseob. I would’ve started bringing you to work after school so you don’t have to stay home alone. I could get you a pass to come in.”

“Isn’t that an abuse of your position?”

“I care about my daughter, what kind of abuse is that?”

You sigh followed by a smile as you begin to head up the stairs.

“You should’ve gotten his phone number before he left!” She yells before you disappear into your room.

“I already have it!” You yell back.

“Since when?”

You freeze, unable to think of an answer.

“Long story!”

“I have time!”

��━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Shin-Il!”

“Shin-Il, I got this for you!”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Shin-Il!”

You roll your eyes as the countless crowds of girls just keep coming into the store. As much as it was annoying, you were glad you basically hogged all the free time since Shin-Il just had to be at the counter to tend to the flock.

“You could be doing better things right now.” He says, turning back to look at you. “Like what?” You rhetorically ask, looking up from your phone. “Restocking the shelves, cleaning the floors, doing your homework.”

“I am a very diligent student, thank you very much.”

“You don't even go to cram school. What about your fans?”

“I already posted last week. They know how intricate the process can be.” He begins to leave when you stop talking. “Gonna use the bathroom. The minute you stand up, you’re on register duty for the rest of the shift.”

“Then I’m not gonna stand up.”

He snatches the phone out of your hand, dangling it above his head. “Hey!” You jump up, struggling to reach your phone. Curse men for being so tall. “Give it back!” He hands the phone back to you, putting a hand on your shoulder and whispering into your ear.

“Your shift begins now.”

Jerk.

“That wasn’t even fair!” Shin-Il ignores you as you hear a door from a distance shut and lock. You sigh, annoyed, shoving your phone in your pocket before briefly scanning whatever was in view in case it needed restocking.

You don’t seem to be paying attention, because by the time you blink, a person is waiting at the counter.

“I’m so sorry, I’ll take those.” You apologize, embarrassed, scanning the person’s items and bagging them for him. You’re struggling to make eye contact as the person pays you, insisting you keep the change as they walk off. “Next.” You call, the person in line putting his things on the counter.

“Did you find everything you–“ You look up to see Jongseob, an innocent, toothy smile on his face. You noticed his fang, something you couldn’t help but find charming. “Hi.”

“Hi. Slow today?”

“All the customers came for Shin-Il and that’s it. You’re the second person I’ve served today.”

“I’m honored.”

“I don’t even know where he is and why he’s taking so long in the stupid bathroom. Anyways, how come you came here? Isn’t there a place closer to your dorm?”

“I just happened to be in the area. I also wanted to see you.”

Your heart flutters at the thought, but you shove those feelings down before it can reach your head. “Really? You could’ve just went someplace closer.”

“I figured I’d come say hi. I feel like this is the only time we can see each other like this.”

“Like what?”

“Like normal teenagers with normal lives.”

He pays for his items, leaving a container of banana milk out of his grasp. “You forgot–“

“It’s for you. Take it.”

“Jongseob, how am I gonna pay you back?”

“Don’t.”

“But–“

“Shhh.” He leans in, sliding the container towards you. “Let me be nice to you, okay?” He pulls away, acting as if he wasn’t so bold a few seconds ago. “Do you want me to walk you home again? I’ll ask the guys to come find me so I won’t have to walk home alone.”

“I don’t– um... I’ll be off a bit late.”

“Which gives me more of a reason to walk with you. It’s dark and you’ll be alone.”

“You know I don’t live far.”

“And you know that this is a safer decision and you’re ultimately denying it for the sake of my safety and convenience.”

“Jongseob, your safety matters way more than mine. You’re a freaking idol, for God’s sake. And I thought you came alone, what do you mean the guys can find you?”

“We decided to go out together. We ended up splitting up to explore and look around by ourselves. I think I’m the only person that went alone."

"I can tell. Did you ask them if they wanted anything?"

"Theo and Jiung are grabbing food for later." He pauses. "My offer still stands." He reminds, persistent. You look at him, appreciating his kindness but unsure if he was willing to wait. "I don't get off until 8."

"I'll walk around after I eat. You can call me when you're done."

Though you feel a bit guilty, it really seemed like he wasn't backing down. "Sure. Thanks. You're also holding up the line." He smiles before taking his items with him as he finds a seat, you taking the banana milk and sliding it closer to you and to the side. Shin-Il finally comes back after taking who knows how long in the bathroom, eyes landing on your friend.

"He's here again. You two must be close."

"Eh... lucky circumstance. What were you even doing in the bathroom, you weirdo?"

"What else would I be doing besides use it for its intended purpose?"

"No one pisses for 5 minutes, Il. You aren't fooling anyone. Is it that girl you're talking to?"

"I am not talking to anyone."

"When those girls find out they are gonna freak."

"I was buying tickets for a thing."

"I thought all public events were closed. You aren't that slick."

"Okay, maybe it is about that girl, but we're just going somewhere, that's all. But I was buying tickets for an exhibition, she loves art."

"Aw, how cute. So when's the wedding?" You take a sip from the small container of banana milk Jongseob bought for you, noticing he isn't in his seat anymore. How did he eat so fast? "Y/N, can you do restocks? We'll make more sales if I'm at the counter."

"You aren't that handsome. The schoolgirl rush is over, no one's gonna come in."

You were wrong.

Many people came in, just not his usual audience, but at least they weren't all up on him. You could hear the compliments from the fridge, but nothing seemed to bother you or him one bit.

As you take an empty box to the back, you go to grab another one until Shin-Il stops you. "I'll take it from here. Mun-Hee clocked in early. And you have a visitor." He pats your back as you get up, seeing Jongseob waving at you with a smile, taking his phone out and showing you the screen.

"It's 8 o'clock."

At first, you're shocked by his dedication, but frantically hurry to the back to clean up and grab your things in order to not keep him waiting. When you get back, you see him talking with your coworker, and you interrupt in order to stop Shin-Il from potentially saying anything embarrassing.

"All ready? Let's go."

You both say your goodbyes as you walk out the store, Mun-Hee nudging Shin-Il in the side. "Kid's got a boyfriend now?" She asks, only receiving a shrug in return. She's content with the answer, going back to your unfinished restocking job.

"You really did mean it when you said you'd wait."

"Of course I did. Why wouldn't I?"

"Sometimes people change their minds or things happen out of their control that they just can't make it."

"I just walked around the park nearby and stuff. And��� oh, I just remembered something." He stops, taking his beanie off and putting it on your head, revealing the alluring lavender that coloured his hair, something you secretly found appealing. You don't even have time to process that you were wearing the hat that covered his beautiful colour. "Jongseob, your hair. People might recognize you."

"Brought an extra. It's a bit late, so I doubt I'll get asked for a photo."

"So you planned this?"

"Whenever you send me selfie updates, you're never wearing a hat. You aren't even wearing a scarf, are you not freezing?"

"I am. I didn't think it'd get this cold, so I didn't bring one since it was warmer this morning."

"It'll always be colder at night, Y/N. You need to remember that, especially since you're working late."

"Did you even wash this?"

"Five times through the cycle. You seem to like it when we see each other, and conveniently, colder weather is approaching so I thought you should have it. You don’t have any hats at home?”

“I forgot to bring one. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. No need to pay me back, by the way.”

By the time you look back at him, his hair is covered again with another beanie, his stealthiness making you stifle a chuckle. “What?”

“I like your hair. I sometimes wish you didn’t have to hide it.”

“Well, I don’t necessarily hide it, I usually just wear hats because it’s more comfortable for me. A lot of people are dyeing their hair now, so I don’t think I’ll get recognized if I didn’t wear one.”

“How many people have you seen with purple hair in public?”

“Quite a few people, actually. So do you want me to take it off?”

“Huh? Why? Aren’t you cold?”

“At least I have a scarf. And you said you wished I didn’t have to hide it.”

“Weren’t you the one who said we shouldn’t risk anything when asking to walk me home?”

“Fair. But that’s a completely different scenario. I took a risk going down the path I’m still on today.”

“That is irrelevant.”

“Worth a shot.”

He walks with you to your door again, ringing the doorbell as you waited an unusually long time for your mom to answer.

“My mom said she could get me a card for FNC so I could stay there instead of alone at home after school. I tell her once and I’m already being pampered.” You laugh, Jongseob’s face lighting up. “Really? You should text me when you arrive! I’ll come find you, and I won’t bother if you have homework to do!”

“She hasn’t gotten it for me yet, I’m still thinking about it.”

“You should say yes so we can see each other in person more often! As long as your school isn’t far from headquarters, though.”

“We see each other when we call.”

“Seeing you like this is often just my luck. Otherwise I’m busy practicing or resting in the dorms. I like being able to talk to you in person.”

And as he smiles, that same one always on his face whenever you two seem to be together, you remember that he’s still just a kid. He’s the same age as you and he’s already in the spotlight, under the watchful eyes of so many fans through their screens.

You get to see him beyond that screen. You’ve been able to see him, meet him, know him beyond his idol persona. And he’s comfortable enough to share who he really is with you. You feel grateful for that.

The front door opens, your mom welcoming you in and noticing your friend by the door as well. “Jongseob, what a nice surprise! Such a coincidence you two ran into each other again. Thank you for walking with Y/N.”

“You’re welcome, Mrs. L/N.”

“Do you need a ride back?”

“Jongseob!” Someone calls, a group of five guys crowded outside your house, which you then identify as his group. “Let’s go, dude! Food’s gonna get cold.” Another one adds.

“I should get going. See you tomorrow, hopefully?” He asks, almost promising.

“Yeah. See you tomorrow.”

You both stand there for a moment, looking at each other as if you were anticipating something as your mom goes ahead inside, the door still open. He suddenly steps forward and wraps his arms around you, one of his hands resting on top of your head.

You’re surprised, but return the hug carefully before he pulls away, sending you a small wave as he goes to join his group in departing.

Jongseob feels an elephant in the room as he walks with them, Theo carrying on a conversation that didn’t seem to make the vibe go away. It doesn’t seem to until they all got back to the dorm, when they started eating.

“That’s a different hat. What happened to the other one?” Intak asks rhetorically. “Y/N had it.” Soul answers nonchalantly, not seeming to understand the sarcasm behind it. “I gave it to her. She was cold.”

“Is she borrowing it?” Jiung asks. “I gave it to her. It’s hers now.” Jongseob reiterates, his point clarified.

“How does Soul know her name and we don’t?” Keeho asks, mouth full. “I talk to her all the time, do you not hear?” Everyone but Soul shakes their head. “She’s nice.” Soul adds.

“Hopefully she can come after school tomorrow. Her mom is trying to get her admission in so she doesn’t have to stay at home.”

“You met her mom?” Intak asks, Jongseob nodding. “I run into her in the halls, sometimes in the elevator.”

“What was the hug for? I swore she looked like she could’ve fallen asleep in your arms.” Theo asks, pointing out something that had Jongseob questioning.

“I… I don’t know.”

his first crush.

“I was feeling nice, I guess. It was cold. She looked cold.”

Jongseob didn’t really have a reason. He couldn’t think of why he left you off with a hug that night. The question kept him up all night.

Along with the speed of his racing heart.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

seob

seobie

jongseob

hi sorry

whats up?

my mom is looking for you what dance room are you in

why is she looking for me?

has to give you something? idk she told me to ask

okay im in 205

thanks

Jongseob puts his phone down and goes back to warming up, taking off his hat and focusing on himself. More specifically, his hair.

‘I really like your hair. I sometimes wish you didn’t have to hide it.’

Why couldn’t he get that out of his head?

As the song begins to end, he hears a knock on the door, finishing off and pausing the music before answering. He opens the door to reveal you, still in your school uniform.

“Hi!” You greet. At first, he’s stunned. You’re really here, and you’re really visiting him. “I got a card from the front desk.” He’s still standing there, jaw slack, staring at you in disbelief. All of a sudden, he’s hugging you, hiding your face in his shoulder as he looks up to check the halls, guiding you in and closing the door.

“Don’t want them to see you. But hi.” He mutters, clearing his throat after pulling away.

“They know I’m here. Have you warmed up yet? Are the rest of them coming?”

“Not for a while. I think I’ll take a break–“

“You dyed your hair!”

He freezes as your hand goes up to touch it. His color changed from lavender to a deep, light red. “Yeah. Do you like it?”

“It looks really good on you.”

“Do you prefer this or the purple?”

“Honestly, you look good with any color.” You sit down on the ground, opening your backpack but pausing before going any further. “Can I do my homework? I have one question left and it’s super easy.”

“Go ahead.”

Jongseob can’t help but focus on you the whole time, when you take your papers and pencils out, when you read through the worksheet, when you begin to write, so concentrated in the moment. He finds himself staring, and you do too.

“All done.” You look up to see him returning your gaze, something there when your eyes meet. “What was so interesting about me and my schoolwork?”

“Huh?”

“You were staring at me.”

He flushes, shaking his head and denying immediately. “No! I wasn’t!”

“Come on, you can admit it. You think I’m pretty.”

“I–“

“I think you’re pretty.”

You cut him off, answering with no shame and an innocent smile on your face. He can’t help but think you mean more than you really do. “You do?”

“Oh, I do. Your hair, your face, your style. It all compliments so well. Take it from me, I’m an artist.”

He thinks to himself as you await his answer. “I think you’re pretty too.”

“Really?”

“Really pretty.”

You both have the same kind of war going on in your head. You wish the other really meant it, but something was holding you back from believing they did. To outsiders, you looked like two people in love. In your head, you were hoping he really meant what he was saying.

“I, um, hope you don’t mind if I stay in for practice. And I do want to talk to you before your members get here.” You try to divert the conversation with the atmosphere telling you closure was needed. “Yeah, we’re working on our comeback actually, so…” He holds out his pinkie.

“You have to promise not to tell anyone. Not a peep.”

You lock your own with his. “Promise.” You both giggle at the gesture as your fingers pull away. “I know this is gonna sound like a really stupid, cheesy question, but do you mean it?”

The way you start off catches his attention. “Do I mean what?”

“When you said I was pretty.”

He’s stunned, stuck in place as he stares at you while forgetting to answer. “I know we’re still young, but I’ve had my heart toyed with before. And all he did was laugh.” You scooted closer to him. “So what I’m asking is, ‘seob, do you really think I’m pretty? Or are you just being nice?”

“What answer are you hoping to hear?”

“That you do. That you mean everything you’ve ever said to me.”

He’s frozen, all he can do is stare into your eyes as you await a response. “Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes, I do mean it. You, Y/N, are one very pretty girl.”

“How many pretty girls do you see while out for work?”

“Many. None of them are as pretty as you.”

her first crush.

You know you’re the one that instigated this conversation, but still, you can’t help but blush at his response. “You’re all red.” He points out. “Do my words really mean that much to you?”

“All I wanted was closure.”

The door opens, Jongseob patting your head and joining the rest of the guys as if he didn’t just have you melting a few seconds ago.

You sat in the corner of the practice room, your face still hot, and your eyes focused on Jongseob the entire time.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

i want you to come visit but my mom isnt letting any visitors in the house

how come?

apparently we’re having a dinner party here in a few days or something? idk shes trying to keep it clean beforehand cuz my dad is finally coming back from his trip

he’s been overseas for how long??

a few months now, some promotion that he got resulted in him staying longer

oh wow

well you could come over to my dorm

actually?

i gotta ask the guys first

oh if u have to ask then its okay maybe next time

they said yes

i hear them cleaning up

what

are you coming or not

omw

You knock on their door, and when no one responds, you call Jongseob, and it suddenly opens to reveal sight of him holding the phone up to his ear.

“You have… a lot of stuff.” He points out, eyeing the large bag you’re carrying. “Are you sleeping over or something?”

“I actually… if it’s okay with you… wanted to do your makeup. I know you’ve been saying how much you want to try it and stuff and I figured we could do it if I saw you today but I forgot to ask–“

“Absolutely. Yes, please, come in, no one’s in my room. ‘Cause… I share a room, and, Jiung’s out and the rest are watching a movie.”

“I get it. I get your whole rooming thing. Am I gonna be in trouble for being here?”

“Not if you don’t get caught.”

“How mischievous of you. If you were to ever get into a scandal with me, would you care?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t mind that at all.”

You laugh it off as if your face wasn’t on fire, closing the door to his shared room.

“Ew, are they gonna make out in there?” Intak says in disgust with fake repulsion. “Just because Jongseob can get a girlfriend and you can’t is not a valid reason to be petty.” Keeho holds back his laugh. “Theo– you can’t say that! That is not funny!”

“Then why are you laughing?”

“…watch the movie.”

Meanwhile, in Jongseob’s room, you finish off his base, tapping brushes against palettes before gently stroking the pigments against his face. His eyes, specifically. The medium shade brought out the orange in his hair, but really, you’ve been wanting to try out a specific look for a while.

“Keep your eyes closed.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Why?”

“Makes me feel old.”

“You’re older than me.”

“I’m the same age as you. Now hush.”

He blows a raspberry as you do his eyeliner, a miracle it didn’t smudge or that you didn’t mess up in any way. It was almost adorable how eagerly he nodded when you showed him your container of extra rhinestones.

You hand him a mirror, putting your extra equipment away before finding a tube of lipstick. “Wow.” is all he says until he puts the mirror down and sees you putting on said lipstick. “Oh, you were actually gonna… do that part?”

“Oh, no. I was just swatching. It’s a pretty shade, don’t you think?” Your lips are painted with a vibrant shade of red, bold and eye-catching as you turned to face your friend who’s struggling to keep his jaw from hanging. “Yeah. Really… bright.”

“Well, you know my style. Bold and bright. I decided to… take a break for a change. And I took it out on you.”

“You call this a break? I look fabulous.”

“It’s the rhinestone effect. But yes, this is a break since I only do my face most of the time. And the colours are neutral, but defined. Makeup therapy for me is a total stress reliever, but obviously my face can’t handle powders daily. And… I really needed this, especially after this week.”

“Exams?”

“I took them already.”

“This early?”

“I’m taking AP classes since I don’t do cram school. My school is aware, and honestly, surprised at my career choice. Peer pressure is getting to me more than it should.”

“I hope you don’t feel guilty about this in any way. You’re so talented.”

“My only talent is this. Maybe I’ll work behind the scenes in the entertainment industry all my life. And… there’s something else I need to tell you.”

“What is it?”

You exhale. “I got the job.”

“The job?”

“I’m your travelling makeup artist. I’ll be going with you for future tours and everything.”

He can’t stop his jaw from dropping now. “No way. You’re serious?” He asks, watching you nod eagerly as a big smile grows on his face, going in for a hug which you tightly return. “Y/N– that’s amazing! Does this mean I’ll get to see you every day?”

You nod. “It’s why I’m taking AP. Maybe I’ll switch next year, but I’m exempt from classes because of my success.”

“Wow, so privileged.”

“I’m just good at my job.”

You hear him chuckle, his eyes focused on you and that damn red lip. “I’m proud of you. I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you.” You stifle a laugh. “I’m sorry, it’s just hard to take you seriously with the makeup.”

“You’re the one that did it!”

“You’re never in my style, and it’s over the top!”

The door opens and you immediately pull away from Jongseob, taking out cleansing products after sorting everything else in your bag. Theo stands there, still, staring at your friend all glammed up.

“How do I look?” Jongseob asks with dramatic poses to show off his makeup, Theo taking out his phone and taking pictures of him silently. “You did this?” He asks you, pointing at the boy that had your heart racing. “Did I do good?”

“He looks great. You should come out and show the guys.”

“I don’t wanna watch the movie out there though.”

“You can go back in here and continue making out with Y/N or whatever it is that you were doing in here in the first place.”

“I was not– hey!” Theo’s dragging Jongseob out of the room by his wrist, unable to keep his grip on the doorframe as you hear him groan. You can all hear the guys gushing over Jongseob’s face from the room, poking jokes at him and teasing him.

“Is that lipstick? Did she kiss you?!”

“No, no, nothing like that! She was swatching and it must’ve smudged on me…”

“I thought you two were kissing when I walked in.”

“We hugged.”

“Sure.” One of them snarkily replies.

“I’m gonna tell you who dies if you don’t stop talking.” You hear Jongseob threaten, referring to the movie that was currently on pause in the living room.

“No!”

He silently comes back to the room, seeing you sitting there, cleansers still out as he shuts the door. “Is there really lipstick on me?” He asks, turning his head so you could see all angles of his face. “Oh, right there. How did I not notice that?” You get up with a makeup wipe, swiping it gently against the mark until is goes away.

It was only until you moved away that you noticed how close you were, and that he notice something missing. “You wiped off your lipstick already?”

“I told you I was swatching. I took photos.” ‘And I could see the way you looked at me.’ You thought. “I’d like to post them, but you’re an idol and all, so…”

“A shame, really. Do you wanna eat? Jiung got some takeout, and I don’t wanna take off your hard work for a little while.”

“Sure, but don’t expect me to take you seriously while you’re all glammed up.”

“You did this to me!”

“We are not having this conversation again.”

his first love, where he can’t imagine being with anybody else but you.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Jongseob’s met a lot of pretty girls. As an idol, it’s only natural he has to work with them, be in the same premise as them. Yet he can never see anything more to them because they aren’t like you.

Your snarky replies, your teasing, your genuine questions and need for reassurance, your automatic response to rely on him, contact him whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed. Maybe it was because he’s spent so much time with you that he built this connection, but he learned that no one else could replicate this feeling he was so comfortable with.

This feeling that he only felt with you.

His members teased him mercilessly, especially on your first day on the job. You were assigned to him and specifically him (according to a colleague, he requested you), and every time anyone of his fellow group saw you working so close with him, they’d start laughing.

Jiung and Intak would take Jongseob’s phone from him if they were to ever find him on call with you. Keeho would give him those looks whenever he saw him smiling at his screen, and on his screen was you. Theo and Soul… they left him alone for the most part. They’d say hello and you guys would chat, but of course, Theo with his natural older brother energy, would occasionally tease him about it, usually through complaints.

“Jongseob, can you stop talking to your girlfriend and go to sleep? We have practice tomorrow.”

“Geez, you wanted her to swatch on you, didn’t you?”

“Watch where you’re going with that! I know you’re practically in love with her, but you should still pay attention to your surroundings!”

Soul simply encouraged the idea of you two together.

“She really likes you, I can tell.”

“Will you be out of the dorm more often when you two start dating?”

“You got her a ring? When is the wedding?”

And all Jongseob really wanted was to figure out if you really did like him or not. Because he felt like he could never experience such euphoria with anyone other than you.

He was only 18, why did he seem so sure about this? His mind was certainly older.

The door to the studio opens, and you enter, dropping your school bag onto the floor and looking absolutely spent.

“Are you okay?” He asks as you walk over, head in his chest. “Not even a hello?” You joke, looking up at him. “Tired. Long day. School’s a real pain in the ass when you have things to do outside of it. You’re lucky you’re busy enough that you don’t have to go.”

“Sometimes I wish I could. I’d enroll at your school and take all the classes with you so I’m not alone. Speaking of school, what happened to those girls who chased you?”

“Oh, them?” You laugh. “We’re cool now. One of them apologized to me. The rest followed. It took one longer than the rest to muster up the courage. They thought I hated them which is why they couldn’t talk about it in the first place, which is understandable.”

“Did you forgive them?”

“Not right away. I accepted their apology, but I’ll talk to tomorrow. It’s a little bit scary leaving work in fear of being chased and they kinda ignited that in me. I could never hate them, though. Maybe that’s a lie, but I guess when I thought I hated them, I was just afraid.”

“You’re so insightful it’s honestly attractive.” You look at him, amused. “Are you flirting with me, Jongseob?”

“Oh, I’m just being honest.”

“Sure. Your birthday just passed and your ego is suddenly through the roof.”

“Well, I am Kim Jongseob, so maybe my ego should’ve been through the roof a while ago.”

“Now you’re just sounding arrogant.”

“I’m just better.” You roll your eyes, looking at the computer in the corner of the room on the counter. “Can I change the music?” You ask, watching him walk over and open the right tab for you. You change the keyboard language to English, searching up a name so fast he doesn’t comprehend that the music already started. You walk away as he stays and reads the name off the screen.

Clementine – grentperez

He looks at you, who happened to already be waiting for him in the center of the room. He walks over, spinning you around and catching you, visibly surprised when the singing begins. “It’s in English?”

“Mhm.”

“Can you understand it?”

“A little bit. Otherwise, I like how it sounds. Can you understand it?”

“I’ve been getting better… at least I try to. It sounds good.”

“I should send you more of his works. I think you’d like those too.” You feel his arms wrap around your waist, pulling you close enough into a hug. “Is this okay?” He feels you nod against his chest, your arms wrapping up and around his neck as the two of you simply sway to the music that filled the room.

To be in Jongseob’s arms, your best friend’s arms, like this was something you didn’t know you wanted to experience for as long as you could. This felt intimate, feeling closer with him like this more than any other hug you’ve shared.

You two probably looked like idiots to anyone that would walk in, but it was just the two of you, and all you could think about was how comfortable it was in each other’s arms.

There’s a spark. A spark that turns into a growing flame when your eyes meet. A flame that you wanted to keep ablaze but was on the edge of extinguishing. “You… you look really pretty.” He suddenly stutters, the flame growing a little bit more. “Thank you.”

“I really want to kiss you. Really, really bad.”

His abruptness catches you off guard, and it’s almost funny how the song began to near its climax.

“I’m sorry, was that too forward? Forget I said–“

“No one’s stopping you.”

It’s so cliche how the song reached its peak when his lips are on yours. You both were young, yet your minds were older. To kiss someone at such a moment for the first time in your life only made you fall in love with him even more, and really, you never thought you’d experience it so soon. With an idol, no less.

“Kim Jongseob!”

The sound of his name makes both of you pull away and look at the door, Intak, Jiung, and Theo standing there like they’ve seen a ghost. “What the hell are you doing?!” Intak exclaims, probably more aggressive than he meant to.

You both stand there, dumbfounded, and it wasn’t until you were back in your head that you both decide to separate from each other instantly. They looked angry. They probably didn’t feel that way, but in the moment, you felt humiliated. One second later, your face is hidden in his chest again, feeling his other hand on your back.

“I’m sorry.” You mutter against him, his hand patting your back reassuringly. “No, there’s nothing for you to be sorry about.”

“Don’t you feel the slightest bit embarrassed? Your friends just walked in on us kissing.”

“Oh, I do, absolutely. They’ll never let me hear the end of it.” You look up at him, and he’s smiling. “Then why don’t you seem that way?”

“Because I was kissing you.” Your heart beats faster than it ever has before when you’re with him. “You’re the only girl they’d want to see me kiss in the first place. Lucky for you, you’re the only girl I’ll ever wanna kiss in my whole life.”

“Since when did you get so romantic?”

“Since the day I met you in this very studio.”

Your worries suddenly melt away at his words, further assured he feels the same way you do.

“I really don’t mean to interrupt this very sentimental moment, but we have practice, so can you guys hurry it up a little bit?” Intak speaks up, appearing behind Jongseob out of nowhere. You pull away, going to get your things in the corner of the room, realizing he was following you. “You’re not gonna stay?” He asks, holding onto your hand.

“I have schoolwork to do, ‘Seob. And I need to talk to my coworkers at my part-time.” He pouts. “I know there’s so much more we need to talk about, but I’m eating into your practice time right now. I’ll call you, okay? We see each other tomorrow. Promise.” You squeeze his hand, feeling his other hand on top of yours.

“I thought you already quit that job.”

“They’re still my friends. I check in with them from time to time.” He sighs. “Goodnight, Y/N.” He kisses your forehead before letting you go.

Once you’re out of sight of the doorway, you can’t help but giggle and jump around out of pure excitement. You catch sight of Keeho and Soul in the hallway, greeting them briefly. “What’s got you so excited?” Keeho asks.

“He kissed me.” You watch his expression change to match yours, jumping around with you in the middle of the hallway. “No way! Are you serious?”

“The rest of them walked in on us…”

“I’ve literally been waiting for months for him to make a move and the one time I decide to leave later– ugh, I’m so happy for both of you!”

“And then he…” You point to your forehead. “He…” Keeho puckers his lips while you nod, the both of you proceeding to squeal almost too loud in the hallway. “Girl, please, you two are literally so freaking cute, you need to tell me more!”

“I really need to leave, I’m sorry!”

“It’s okay, we’ll see you tomorrow!”

You’re on your way to the convenience store, relieved to see both Mun-Hee and Shin-Il behind the counter, both of them equally shocked to see you there. “Y/N! I thought you were working.” Shin-Il says.

“I need to tell you guys something. Can I still come back here?”

“No. But you used to work here, so whatever.” An indirect invitation to come behind the counter given by Mun-Hee. “Judging from the look on your face, you either made progress with Jongseob or made out with Jongseob.” She adds.

“I kissed him, thank you very much.”

“Oh, shit.” She curses. “And he did it first?” You nod. “Damn, girl! He’s really down bad for you!”

“Is he your boyfriend now? He should be.” Shin-Il asks. “We didn’t have time to talk about it… he’s in a dance practice right now and I promised I’d call him.”

“Honey, no. This is the kind of thing you talk about in person. If he’s really dedicated and really loves you, he’d tell you. But with the amount of times you’ve breached health protocols with something to say about him, I think he really does love you in that way. But still, call him later. You promised.”

“You give all this advice as if you’ve ever been in an actual relationship.” Shin-Il jokes, resulting in a death glare from the most helpful former coworker in the moment. “Listen to her, not me.”

“Obviously.”

The welcoming bell chimes as someone enters, coming to the counter as quick as they came in. Mun-Hee looks in awe at the person as he stops at the counter, face lighting up. “We still on for tonight?” He hands her two 5000 won bills.

“Mhm.” She says in the most obvious lovesick tone, sliding the man’s items back towards him as she gives him his change. “I’ll see you later, Mun.”

You hold back a laugh at the nickname, glancing between her and the man as he leaves the store.“Who even is that guy?”

“They’ve been hooking up but then they actually started liking each other for more than the sex. Total K-drama material.”

“She did not need to know that!”

“If she can tell us about her love life, I can tell her about yours.”

“This is something entirely different! And what about you? Does she know that your little girlfriend calls you Shinnie now?”

You can’t hold back your laughter. “Pfft– Shinnie!? You guys are so corny!”

“Don’t you call your boyfriend ‘Seob’?” Shin-Il retorts. “Okay, but that’s just his name shortened. At least she didn’t add or double anything to it.” Mun-Hee reasons, receiving an eye roll from her coworker.

“I can’t believe we’re all in relationships now.” She adds. “I can’t believe you’re in a relationship! You’re so grouchy all the time, it’s hard to believe anyone would love that. You too, Y/N! You’re only 18 and you already kissed someone.”

“You still haven’t kissed anyone at your old age?!” You exclaim.

Mun-Hee sighs. “Can you tell it’s been rough without you here?”

“Definitely.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“So does my dad approve?”

You ask as Jongseob enters your bedroom, shutting the door gently before sitting across from you on your bed. “Of course he approved, I’m Kim Jongseob.”

Your dad had to go on another trip, which was prolonged, right after his first one due to a promotion offer that was promised if he continued to work efficiently overseas for a little longer. He got the promotion. He didn’t come back until mid-2021, and you didn’t tell him about your little relationship until today.

“I bet he’s pissed at me. I swore I meant to tell him, I just forgot.”

“He isn’t. He’s just… very surprised.”

“Understandable. I may or may not have rambled to him about you.”

“Did you say anything embarrassing?”

“No.”

“Then what did you say?”

“He asked me what I loved about you. It’s a long list.”

“We have time.”

He chuckles. “Okay, well, I said I love that you’re such a hard worker, and how devoted you are to anything that you do, how you never settle for less. How there’s a sparkle in your eye only I’m able to see when you get excited. How beautiful you are when you’re at your happiest, when you’re doing something that brings you comfort. Should I keep going?”

You’re too flustered to answer his question. “What did he say?”

“‘When’s the wedding?’”

You hit him playfully, hiding your face in the side of his arm, embarrassed that your face was so warm from something so simple. “You really noticed all of those little things?”

“Of course I did, you’re my girlfriend.”

You wanted to kiss him so bad in that moment, being interrupted by your mom barging in the room. She simply stares at both of you. “You’re nearly 19, I expect you to know what we don’t wanna hear in this house.” She closes the door, Jongseob getting up to lock it this time.

“My mom’s gonna get so suspicious next time she tries to open the door.”

“Valid. But we know our boundaries, don’t we?”

You fulfill what you imagined in your head, kissing him briefly and pulling away when you feel his hand tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“Wanna know something?” He mutters.

“What?”

“I don’t think I could ever love someone else the same way I love you.”

“Is that so?”

“Honey, I admire you. You’re amazing.”

“Speak for yourself, mister. So talented and famous for it. I think we’ve been keeping these words bottled up for years when we were just friends.”

“Mhm. There’s so much more I wanna say.”

“We have time.”

“It’ll take all week.”

“I have all the time in the world when I’m with you.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🐺: guys where is jongseob

🐶: is he not at y/n’s house??

🐺: we have a shoot tomorrow why is he at y/n’s house

🐿️: the shoot is next week are u dumb

🐺: damn bro mb

☀️: they’re gonna get married someday i just know it

🍟: he wanted her ring size (о´∀`о)

🐺: why is he there anyway??

☀️: he went to meet her dad

🐿️: OKAY JONGSEOB I SEE U MEETING THE FAMILY

🐯: are you guys talking bad about me

🐶: nah we’re just thinking about what kind of ring ur gonna get her

🐯: im still 18 calm down 💀 y/n’s dad said the same thing

☀️: even mr. l/n agrees

🍟: how is y/n?

🐯: she’s good, i actually might stay over tonight

🐺: WHAT

🐶: on a weekday is crazy

☀️: why arent u coming home?

🐯: she fell asleep on me i dont wanna wake her up

🐿️: do you have clothes?

🐯: 👍

🐶: bro is prepared he predicted this

🍟: say hi to her for me!!!!

🐯: alr goodnight guys im lowkey tired

🐺: jongseob sleeping early? thats new

🐯: i hope you have nightmares

and if you’re fadin���, then honey i’ll be fadin’ too. darling, i don’t even know who i am without you. 🎧

[hermitcrabofficial]

wow life is exhausting

[lifeduringwar-time]

PLEASE talk more about ren & stimpy if you’d like to!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH It genuinely means a lot. Where do i even begin

american animation had been in like a complete dark age (save for a few bright moments) from like the late 60s through most of da 80s. at least in television: i don’t think there’s a lot of ways to create a great animated tv show bc the production process is so rigid and asks for boatloads of content to be released one after the other after the other. artists had to take a lot of shortcuts to keep up with the strict deadlines that were inherent to the very medium they were working in, and i think it rlly did a number on the quality of american animation. combine this w the fact that by the 80s Every tv cartoon was just an advertisement for a toy + animation had garnered a reputation of being for kids, and it rlly did look like the future of television animation was just dead

But then…… mighty mouse the new adventures 😼 created by THE ralph bakshi who made the first adult american animated film (fritz the cat is like a #1 favorite film of mine I love it to bits 😁), and was supported by a shitload of younger animators who had enough of working in what they saw as a hopeless medium. they let a lot of their anger and frustration out through the show, and they all kinda bonded through their shared cynicism and boredom lol. 3 of them, including the senior director of the show Who was also like. kinda bakshi’s protege (john k), decided to form their own studio, and the studio hereby declared as spümcø formed a couple years later through the addition of a final 4th co-founder

so like a little while after spümcø was created, a small company known as nickelodeon was looking for animators to create their own original cartoons. Some of the higher-ups at nick wanted to reach out to a large younger audience, and they noticed the manufactured state of television animation and thought that it was terrible entertainment for these potential viewers. nick held meetings with a lot of aspiring creators, and spümcø was one of the last of them: they got lucky as all hell, and before they knew they had one of the 1st nicktoons on their hands

Why did i tell you all this lol???? bc ren and stimpy was very much a product of its time And i think that made it so timeless: the anger and cynicism that essentially created the studio absolutely bled over to r+s and it absolutely shows. the creators have gone out of their way to clarify that its a show for kids bc of how controversial its content was, but i really dont think that was the case And i mean that in the best way possible. it was more a show for them: they got a chance to make the cartoons they had been waiting their whole careers to make, and they took it. the look of the show wears its inspirations on its sleeve, harkening back to early hanna-barbera tv shows and bob clampett’s warner brothers cartoons that the animators had grown up on (which is actually another reason why i think the show is cool… They purposefully avoided the artistic shortcuts i mentioned earlier!! This method definitely had its faults but it created a really beautiful looking show that appreciated that it was animated ya know); there were jokes and pop culture references, but they were in the form of non-sequiturs to old kirk douglas movies and burl ives songs that no 10 year-old was ever gonna understand; there were real emotions on display, but they werent overly syrupy happiness and the like, there was like genuine discomfort and horror at times. Im not fucking joking Heres a quote i found that sums up what i wanna say here its from an eric andre interview of all places

(side note i first learned abt ren and stimpy because john k’s in the new year’s eve spooktacular. Small world)

this weird ass show came from a place of pure anarchy. It was very much a reaction to all the ways television animation had been wronged in the past, but it created this edgy and counterculturist show that helped bring life back to a medium previously considered dead, and it opened the gateway to countless other shows like it. for example, ren and stimpy also aired on mtv (which is so weird to think about. A nicktoon was on mtv) and the shows success was a reason why the channel agreed to produce mike judge’s short “frog baseball” into a full series, which obviously became beavis and butt-head. And without beavis and butt-head we wouldnt have like the past 30 years of adult animated television so there ya go

but also like! going back to that eric andre quote, that style of uncomfortable comedy mustve influenced a lot of modern comedies, at the very least because r+s helped make that style more mainstream. not to mention the shows gross-out humor, which was seen as sooooo controversial back in the day

I think im gonna stop here bc this is already long as is But this is only scraping the top of the barrel imo this show is so so crazy. its literally shaped the past 30 years of american pop culture imo but i feel like bc its a nicktoon nobody ever really acknowledges it, hopefully this like changes your mind idk I hope my ramblings make a semblance of sense

Anyways heres a quote about john k keeping horse teeth under his pillow as a kid

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

im new to this thing so im humbly sorry if i miss out on a warning or do smth wrong

tw: family issues, anxiety, fear of failure, pessimism

so im a school student, and i have to appear for an entrance examination to enter a university; i aspire to be a med kid. and the uni is of my dreams, like i know i can do it, i just need to work hard and keep myself motivated.

so in the beginning of the session this yr which is my last school yr i felt really motivated and optimistic. that was also around the time i started following an american music artist.

im currently living with my parents and i usually dont hide stuff like this from them so it was natural that when i started following that artist they got to know about them to. and i felt really motivated by the artist's life story and they also truly made me very happy with all their interviews or live videos or anything. but like, my father, has always been very protective for me so after about a month of following that artist he lashed out on me and telling me stuff like im distracted now and i wont be able to make it. it hurt but at that time, we sorted it out the next day and it was in the past then.

but in the next few months it happened more times, he wouldnt exactly say the same things but he would just go off on why im following the said artist and make me feel worthless of my decisions.. he never likes to talk about my interests and it really hurts

and i tend to overpressurize myself bc i really really dont want the chance to be in my dream uni slip away and its just a life turning point for me, partly also because my parents have are the strict kinda ones so i really wanna break free from them and getting into this uni has been my dream since i was 6

but my optimism is gone and when i started following the artist i was scoring better than ever but now ive just lost all hope and idk how to get it back

i think im just looking for some hope and/or reassurance because its really hard for me to focus on anythning and i dont know how to get through all these months i have left and i still have to work hard and i really really want to but i dont know how to

and im not sure but according to some videos that i watched i think i have anxiety

also, in no way im trying to portray my dad as a bad parent/person but im just upset over our interaction regarding the topic

thank u so much for your time and assistance on this! <3

Hey anon,

I feel for you. Sometimes people who have good intentions and want what's best for you make it difficult for you to achieve things.

You have great aspirations and I know you can achieve them. I'm sorry that you're not getting support in the way that you need or that would be helpful to you.

It definitely hurts when the people we love, and especially our parents, don't want to talk about our interests. It makes us feel like they don't care about us and that our interests are not worth caring about. That hurts. It's not true, though. Your interests are worth caring about, and so are you.

It's possible that you're not getting the same boost of hope and optimism that you felt when you first started getting into this artist because someone you care about (your dad) is making you feel bad about liking the artist/talking about them/interacting with their content. When people shame us or aren't supportive of our interests, we don't tend to get as excited about them as we did before we were rebuffed. Try to remember that you're okay to like this artist and you're not lacking motivation because you're into them, or any other media.

Sometimes our parents can get worried that we're struggling, and instead of talking to us with care and curiosity, they react through their fear. That is not a reflection of you.

It's okay that you're struggling. You have a lot of pressure on you. It would be easier to succeed without this pressure, so try to balance it out. Give yourself extra love and care! You're doing something difficult and admirable, go easy on yourself. Do what you can and congratulate yourself for what you've accomplished.

Take care!

- Mod Misa

[xesoteric-extraterrestrialx]

I am manifesting my future as well as preping some of you with matrix // out of matrix truth; I am a medium and more but for matrix talk that’s the safest route. I am not a weapon nor consent to any of my abilities influenced negativity by others; only positivity coming from thee.

(If any see us Tiamat // Janine as a witch, we are not a threat we are like Casper if anything) I am an aspiring author and artist, I am following a guided positive path towards a bright successful future. I am in the process of getting my own place again so I can be safe and productive and also have self care the way I need. I am confident that following this path will give me the career I want in the matrix and also help many in the matrix with healing but I also wish for all to be able to have the choice to leave the matrix and enjoy their guided paths so I am looking forward to see what humanity’s faith looks like in the following years (Agenda 21 NWO-2030) I have faith that it could be positive if we all raise our frequencies but I also know I can not control everyone’s path // faith and others will have different paths which is why I shared so much information about the matrix as a heads up. (Research teakwood for defense, if attacked use salt to ward off negativity, use the wood like stakes; some have two hearts, they created vampire // fantasy folklore mythology (remove the head and throw in fire, government should do a world wide announcement when this all occurs within the next decade but I keep getting signs it’ll be this year and just incase they don’t help with self defense I shared a bunch of info about it all!), stay safe and also know if on a positive path and not a threat, won’t need to know such information but for the sake of others I shared that bit, research more into self defense if needed; use your sixth sense, becomes super cold when some are around and more happens(can spiritually molest from astral projecting so be careful, abstinence // asexual), if anyone seriously needs this info send an ask regarding any information needed, I personally am not scared and want to live with IDB’s & humanity so my faith is all healing within this time so violence is not needed; benevolent ones will deff step in if you allow them, they want to avoid WWIII) I am going to update (might post what I wrote about my brother before I leave since been grieving him a lot lately, might post old videos of me on old account for another ego death as well) my Instagram with what I did in Virginia as soon as I am out of this environment, once I’m in my own safe sanctuary I will be sharing a lot more and will be working a lot more. Have some modeling offers but can’t even dip into that till I have my own space, if anyone would like me to advertise their products I will during shoots in the future (not trying to become a model just would enjoy cosplaying and sharing aesthetics to express self) If anyone wants to “use my vessel” to help share your expressions reach out to me, will also be productive with creating ideas for toons and books once I’m out (autobiography as well to help any others going through everything I went through and now with gangstalking life.. We are never alone, here for anyone else going through it!!!) I am also jumping into my matrix career dream of voice acting so if anyone would like to work on projects together reach out to me, would be fun building a resume with that all with other like minded individuals on here; I will have my own studio set up and work from home with any of what I have just mentioned above, if anyone is interested in working with us Tiamat // Janine - reach out, living matrix life and dreamscape spirit realm lifestyle(won’t be updating much on dreamscape lifestyle till in my own place; sorry have to play the matrix or consequences since I exposed so many // much in this world- just wanted everyone to live safely and happy together~ 💖 ) Keeping that dream as well, as I increase my abilities I will help with medium ways (future vision, telepathy, remote viewing, etc) of helping but I don’t want to make a living off helping others with that, very delicate nature would rather just help out for free with it all so this is why guided down a path for matrix success so can help in multiple realms!!!~ (You all have potential for these abilities as well, research and train yourselves!!!~)

https://mindfreedom.org/front-page/on-witch-hunts-and-unity-for-human-rights-in-psychiatry/

https://indigospirit.rpg-board.net/t35-history-of-the-reptilians

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7178134/

Try avoiding google when doing research. They dont show you everything because of the algorithms that it has. I recommend duckduckgo.com because they dont filter anything out, and they dont do sketchy shit with your data like google does

Hope you’re all staying positive and research heavily everything I shared; Everything on the research card should catch you up to everything I know and I can teach how to be guided as well but till then, blessed be; love and live life!~🌙💜🧿✨

[cozylittleartblog]

hi! i'm an aspiring artist, and your work inspires me to draw more. i'm having a problem recently however, whenever i get the urge to draw and actually pull out my book and grab a pencil, i just get the feeling of not knowing where to start, and whenever i do start, i immediately erase everything i do because i'm a bit of a perfectionist. do you ever have similar times, or is it just me? and if so, do you have any tips for this? thank you for taking the time to read, your art makes me day. ❤️

oh i feel like this All the time, especially lately lmao.

so here’s the thing, and i say it ALL the time.... there’s no room for perfectionism in art!! there just isn’t. art isn’t about making everything perfect the first time around, art is literally about messing up and making mistakes and learning every way not to draw something xD you need to do bad drawings!! don’t erase your bad drawings!! keep them, so you can go back later and figure out why it doesn’t work. it’s not a failure, in fact it’s never a failure - it’s a learning experience. being a perfectionist isn’t something you can just drop on the fly, it takes some time to unlearn it, but you can!! and you kinda have to if i’m honest, otherwise you either wont go anywhere, or you’ll get there but extremely painfully slowly. it’s a bad habit, ditch it. shoot, even when working on a finished piece, you need to learn when something is “good enough” so you can move on. no matter what you do, that leg isn’t going to look completely perfect, and you’ve been stuck on it for an hour now. as long as it’s close, nobody will probably notice anyway. sometimes finishing a bad or even mediocre art piece is better than never finishing it at all because you were too caught up in making it Perfect(tm).

when you don’t know where to start.... just start! they dont have to be good drawings, you can literally draw whatever you want. draw character busts, draw your pets, draw things around you, fanart, your OCs, other people’s OCs, just draw literally whatever!! sometimes ideas come from drawing whatever, and sometimes it just helps get the gunk outta your system. do drawing memes, like outfit memes or palette memes or expression memes! redraw stuff from your fav show or movie! do drawing studies and practice something N e w! there’s a lot of ways to combat this and these are only some of them, give ‘em a shot!

and honestly.... every now and again, there’s just days where you can’t draw. nothing comes out right, or you can’t be motivated for the life of you, and that’s okay! literally all artists have days like that, it’s okay to say “y’know what, i just can’t draw today.” and go watch a movie or play a game or something. it’s only when it happens for several consecutive days that it becomes a real problem and you need to start fighting it. sometimes it comes from an outside source though, like stress from school or your job or even just a bad mental health patch. sometimes it’s not about fighting the art block, but instead fighting it’s source, y’know?

one more important note i try to stress for all aspiring artists: don’t negatively compare yourself to artists on social media. it may seem like everything they draw is beautiful and amazing and perfect, but artists social media are highlight reels - they only upload their best stuff, you don’t see the 20 pages of crap or weird drawings they did yesterday.

that being said, it’s still ok to compare yourself to other artists, as long as you’re not doing it in a negative light! studying art styles can help with art block, as well as benefit your own art - look at the art of people who inspire you, figure out what you like about it, and try to incorporate it into your own style! lots of artists’ styles are just frankensteined bits of other people’s art styles lmao. it’s good to study this stuff and try to replicate it privately for educational purposes, but don’t pull all your inspirations from the same one or two artists and then pass it off as your own style online. that’s when it starts being Bad lol.

alright! i gave a lil extra advice that’s not totally relevant but hope it helps anyway! keep drawing anon, and thank you for enjoying Muh Artz!

[rcsefleur-blog]

hi all !! this is an introduction to my freshest muse and newest baby yeo eunchan otherwise and more commonly known as ‘chan’, he’s a sweetheart but of course because its me and i can’t resist giving my muses slight torture, he’s a tormented sweetheart. if you look at his pinterest here you’ll get an idea of his style better since that’s pretty essential to him as a muse in this case hshd. below the cut you can find out a bit more about him and if you hit the like, i’ll be sure to throw him at you for plots !! lets get into it: 

BACKSTORY: 

chan’s childhood wasn’t particularly dark or strained. he is by far the least tragic out of all my muses. but for me, that’s still pretty tragic by mosts standards. growing up he always had a very supportive father in regard to his homosexuality and androgynous qualities. he grew up in a happy home and despite not being rich he was very fortunate to have rich opportunities come his way. to be fair he’s pretty easily pleased but most of his experiences thus far have been plentiful

perhaps that is why his luck has to run out somewhere down the line, in the worst way it possibly could. his mother passed when he was young due to cancer. it was a grave and difficult time for his father as well as the rest of the family. his father crumbled eventually, in the hospital with health issues now that are so severe he’s due to pass any day and is basically in a vegetative state already. chan was left to raise his five year old sister nari and take on the responsibility. 

for this reason, he could be considered a struggling single father as he’s pushing his own dreams and goals aside to accomodate for nari and make sure she has the best upbringing which is comfortable for her, where she can see chan as a father figure as well as an older brother now, who can be relied upon and responsible. balancing the line and the roles between brother and father isn’t always easy though when the lines are constantly blurred. he has sacrificed most of himself and his youth to keep nari happy and healthy and mostly untouched by the death of their parents. 

this hasn’t been easy though, it’s left chan isolated and with no one to speak to but the five year old girl a lot of his feelings get locked in a box and left unexplored, he cannot have a moment of hesitation or weakness because then that will affect nari. his mourning process and grieving has been put on a backline, and he only really allows himself to break down in quiet moments without nari. such as when walking through the forest to be with nature, visiting their graves or on the edge of his bed having a good cry when nari is fast asleep due to the feeling of living in the empty space where his parents used to fill it all up. 

PERSONALITY: 

chan is a makeup artist, he does it professionally for models and artists all throughout the industry but he also does it for fun, becoming pretty popular as a person who gives tutorials on youtube and instagram as an ‘influencer’ but he really hates that label and prefers to simply think of himself as an artist. he also does the bit of fashion blogging and photography on the side. 

he considers himself an adventurer and for that reason he also travels a lot, usually while he is there he’ll study as he does photography for a course as well as a part time student and his main interest is in ancient architecture and art. most of the time he’ll roadtrip in his styled up vintage pick up but occasionally its flights to more beachy area’s, his two favorite places are greece and italy and he spends most of his time in those places if he can.

chan has a very vintage sense of style and he enjoys doing most things the traditional and old school way. although he does add a modern mindset to a lot of it. aesthetically style wise envision chan as fingers full of plenty of rings, ankle bracelets and arm cuffs with loose puffy sleeved shirts and ripped up mom jeans or high waisted ones. he cycles mostly everywhere on his vintage style bike. 

very much a gentle soul, little bit of a nerd and activist in the sense he wants to save the earth. he can be really intense about learning about nature and how to preserve it. he has always felt the most in touch with the natural world compared to the hum and chaos of the modern world and city life. he’s no saint of course and he’s still a sucker for coffee but other than that he likes to think he does his best. 

paints and draws very amazingly likewise, he prefers to draw flowers and people the most but he’ll work with whatever he’s got on hand. usually you can only catch him whipping out a sketchbook if he’s feeling stressed or overwhelmed as a form of escapism and quiet time. 

he is a little bit of a quixotic type so sue him, like one of the ‘have you ever fallen in love’ 'five times a day’ types but it’s not obsessive, it’s more of an admiration he considers all people beautiful and worthy of love in their own way and would state most of them are art to him. you could be the worst person and he’d be all ’ you dont have all the facts’ 'which are?’ 'i love them’.

although he doesn’t identify as genderfluid, he has a very genderfluid and androgynous sense of fashion and often wears clothing and makeup typically labelled as being more feminine. he likes a soft and classy look that usually consists of a good lip tint or ultra glossy lip and a natural but glittery smokey eye look. think kinda like the instagram influencer ivanbaaaaah for reference. 

MISC: 

growing up chan struggled with religion a lot, he and his family are very religious but his sexuality caused some issues. his father had always been supportive but his mother was a different story, unfortunately his memories with her aren’t the fondest. though he has a very dark history with religion, he loves to be in churches that are empty or abandoned for moments of reflection. often he wonders if he doesn’t even have god as the one consistent and reliable thing in his life, then what the hell does he have. he feels even now sometimes that he’s letting god and his mother down for the way he is but there is less shame now than what he suffered when younger. 

everything in his life basically revolves around nari, she goes most places with him and any task he’ll find a way to make fun for her, he doesn’t spoil her but he also doesn’t ever leave her to go without even if that is at his expense to do so. they love to bake together and he does that pretty often. 

has a part time job as a barista on night shifts and also in a patisserie. he works from home on his influencer content again to accommodate for nari and he also takes his course in photography and media online to best suit nari so he doesn’t have to leave her with a babysitter too often as he believes that’s no childhood and him just being lazy in his duty towards her as her parental figure at this pivotal time in her life. 

he’s putting off most of his dreams and aspirations right now for until nari is older, he could’ve been much more famous as an influencer but he chose not to be and put those opportunities to broaden his career on hold for a while because having a famous sibling in her life wasn’t the kind of overwhelming attention and pressure nari needed to be surrounded with right now. 

he honestly just wants to make sure nari grows up feeling safe, comfortable and happy as well as confident in herself and chan. she’s his primary responsibility and he considers himself her closest bet to a father now so he wants her to feel she has that bond with him as well as the bond of him being her brother. 

PLOT BUNNIES: 

a babysitter plot would be great, someone who he can rely on and uses often to leave nari with when he has no other choice and particularly on nights when he has to work. ideally it would be someone nari felt very close to and idolized so he knew they had an amazing relationship and she’d be happy and relaxed when he was gone. he’s very over protective of her so he’d also have to feel pretty close to the person. it could go any way really, it could be a pining thing, a best friend thing, whatever honestly. 

this boy definitely needs a confidant so throw that at me any day. 

friends who can help him reconnect with religion and spirituality in different ways so he knows there’s always a way for him to feel tied to god somehow and a god who loves him and best suits his needs somewhere even if it isn’t necessarily in the religion he grew up with. 

work buddies at the cafe he works in or patisserie would be amazing too. 

maybe a tutor/study buddy kinda person he met online through doing his course of media and photography to make sure he was making up for the classes he was missing out on by not being able to attend day lectures in college. 

just people with the similar hobby of photography would also be awesome or models even that he can do a couple of freelance jobs for on the side when they need him. 

muses for him to draw they’d be very special people indeed bc chan will rarely whip his sketchbook out in front of anyone let alone ask to draw them. 

more single parent muses would also be awesome eventually or older siblings who kind of take on that role half the time so have some idea of what its like who he could meet through taking nari to things like nursery, etc. 

neighbor bc who doesn’t love a good single dad and his neighbor plot  who’s all like woah that guy is super young and he has a kid but im also sure there’s no woman on the scene and wow they’re noisy and its kinda infuriating but its also cute as hell cause he’s a hella good dad and in the mornings i can hear them baking and doing food fights or playing together and i often see them messing about coming back from grocery shopping etc and actually its kinda touching?? 

gay pals cause we love gay pals as well as ur everyday pals we love a platonic bond between fellow gays. 

love interests of any kind rlly, pining situations, crushing, flings, ex’s ( they’d have had to have ended on good terms tho bc chan just can’t hate anyone ), first times e.g. sexually, boyfriend, kiss u get the idea 

[salfordiansiren]

Interview Questions for Ren Harvieu, God is in the TV ‘In Conversation with…’article

We do like to ask some ‘off-the-wall’ questions, also some slightly tongue-in-cheek and left-field ones not connected to the music business at all. There are also a few multiple questions and I’ve mixed them up a bit so that the subjects keep changing. Many of them are open-ended, giving you the opportunity to be as verbose as you wish.  Please ignore any question you do not wish to answer.

Hi Lauren, my name is David Bentley, I write for a UK-based e-zine God is in the TV (GIITTV).

The objective of this interview, which will be published in GIITTV within a week of receiving your responses, is to introduce you to a new audience in the UK and abroad and to promote your forth on ming album.

The interview will also feature some embedded videos and/or audio unless you ask us not to do that.

There will be an ‘introduction’ to the interview but that will be written after its completion.

Thanks for agreeing to take part.

So, here we go…

 

Hi Lauren, thanks for joining us today. How are you?

I’m in a great mood today thanks. I had foot surgery last week and so I cant leave the house or really move for 6 weeks but I feel strangely calm about the whole thing, I dont mind bein

 

For the benefit of readers who may not be familiar with you, how would you describe yourself as an artist, in a paragraph?

 

 

You have released two singles, ‘Teenage Mascara’ and just now ‘Yes, Please’ from your second album, ‘Revel in the Drama’ which is scheduled for next April and the first one was well received by broadcasting ‘tastemakers’. How does the album differ from the first one, ‘Through the Night?’

 

The difference between Revel In The Drama and Through The Night is that this is a much more personal album. I spent the last couple of years honing my songwriting craft and these lyrics have come straight from my gothic salfordian brain. Its darker, more intense, stranger but still has the beauty of Through The Night. I think both albums sit nicely together.

 

 

Since 2015 you’ve been co-writing with Romeo Stodart of the Magic Numbers and he appeared on stage with you at your recent concerts. Will that relationship continue? Do you prefer to control the songwriting process yourself, or are you content to work with other music or lyric writer(s) into the future? If the latter, who has the final say?

I’ll keep writing with romeo till I die if he wants to. He’s the best of the best, and he understands me. I never really felt understood as an artist till I met him. I feel so comfortable in his presence that I let it allllll out, not just the versions of me t

 

You signed with Universal, a huge corporation, as a 17-year old. Is that too young, or are there any benefits in being ‘bloodied’ in the industry at such a tender age?

I think I was too young, although Universal were great that wasn’t the problem. But there was a lot going on behind the scenes that I was dealing with. I wasn’t a show biz kid from a showbiz family and I had real problems that seemed bigger than singing about about being dumped by some boy. I felt too young and overwhelmed but also too streetwise and smart for it all. It was a confusing time.

They say that everything happens for a reason. In 2011 you suffered a life-changing event, just as your debut album was about to be released, and one which set you back several years. Eight years on do you think the dreadful accident in which you broke your back has had any positive repercussions?

I think there had been positive repercussions,I dont think I would have started writing if it wasn’t for the accident. I dont

 

What attracted you to signing with Bella Union for your new album?

Well

 

Do you have any role models in the music business? A hero or heroine? Anyone you would enjoy being “mentioned in the same breath” with? (Dusty Springfield comes to mind, also perhaps Shirley Bassey).

 

I really admire Fiona apple because she does whatever the hell she wants. And her records are stunning, unique and completely un compromising.

You are compared occasionally with Elkie Brooks (I’ve done it myself!), a different kind of singer perhaps but a highly respected one who hails from the same city, and even the same suburb as you. And she’s still performing, in her seventies. Is there anything you feel you can learn from her and, indeed, are you ever in contact with her?

I dont know Elkie personally but I love her shes a legend. Rising Cost Of Love is my jam!

 

 

You left Salford and relocated to London a while ago. Do you miss it? How did the move impact on your creativity?

I really miss the north, everything about it but I needed to leave because I was really sad and I knew if i didnt do something soon I was going to slip down the back alleyof my mind and maybe disappear forever. I have memories on every street, bus stops make me emotional. Corner shops where me and my friend would try and get booze in our school, theres just memories everywhere and I needed a clean break. To create some distance so I could write about it

When you’re writing, how do most of your songs start life? A piano part? A chord? A melody? Does inspiration simply come, or do you have to seek it?

I feel inspired everyday by everything. When writing a song I like to visualise it, like a film, frame by frame. Sometimes I move around, dance, put on voices. Romeo will play something off the cuff that’s so beautiful that I’ll just start shouting and laughing and hugging him. Its the closest I get to spirituality. Writing wise, I want the narrative to have as much depth as possible, I want to feel something and I feel it is my duty to give the emotion and the stories the respect they deserve. I take it very seriously.

 

Do you see yourself as a live artist, or a recording artist, or both?

I see myself as both. I get to appease the introvert in me by being in the studio and attend to the outrovert by playing live.

 

How would you personally measure ‘success’? By ‘breaking’ America? Or something more modest?

Success to me would mean I get to create and perform music for all time and make a living on it. Success to me would mean that people are touched and moved by my music. I would love to be a voice to someone that can comfort them, just as say Rufus Wainwirght was to me when I was a depressed 14 year old. I’m not doing this just to stroke my own fragile ego, I genuinely want to reach o

 

When I saw your show at the Deaf Institute in Manchester recently, in one song (I think it was ‘Cruel Disguise’), you reached and sustained a note that convinced me and those in my company that you could probably tackle opera singing. Do you have any ambitions to perform in that or any other genre?

I would love to learn opera. I think

 

Back in 2012, while you were recovering, you performed several James Bond film theme tunes with the BBC Philharmonic Orchestra, including ‘You only live twice’ and ‘Nobody does it better’, both of which arguably could be applied to you. Do you picture yourself as a ‘Bond girl’ in the sense of recording the theme to a future movie, or do you even have any acting ambitions to actually play such a role? After all, the new album is constructed so that you can “revel in the drama of my life” as you say. (Incidentally, a female friend of mine – also from Salford – commented that you look like a 1950s Hollywood movie star).

Tell your friend I said thanks a lot! I would love to sing a Bond theme, I feel like it could happe

Acting wise I’m open to it, why not?

 

I saw one of your Christmas Special shows at the Soup Kitchen in Manchester in 2015. During the show you told a story about how a school choirmaster prevented you joining a musical assembly on four occasions for no better reason than that there was something about you that he didn’t like. Your rejoinder to that was “Well, fuck him” and of course you soon went on to release demos on MySpace which were picked up by a local manager and sent on to Amy Winehouse’s producer. The rest is history. A new song, ‘Little Raven’ was written cathartically as one to your younger self when you had no label and didn’t know if it would ever be recorded. What advice would you give to young people who find doors being slammed in their face as that schoolmaster did to you?

If anyone is picking you, school teachers, other kids, parents, anyone i would say to

If schoolmasters are singling you out and picking on you, its probably because your different and they cant stand

 

 

What touring plans do you have to support the release of the new album?

We are organising a tour right now around the UK, quite a big one its really exciting. I also cant wait to tour outside of England, I’ve never done that.

 

If you weren’t a musician what would you be? Do you ever aspire to being ‘something else’ entirely (model, politician, footballer, train driver…?!)

I think I’d try and be a fiction writer. I love books and stories and characters. I heard Donna Tartt say something life ‘as much fun as it is to read a book, writing one is one level deeper’ There’s something about losing myself into another world entirely that really appeals to me.

 

The environment. Whose viewpoint are you closest to? Donald Trump or Greta Thunberg?

 Greta or course.

United or City?

United

 

Coronation Street or EastEnders?

Corrie

 

Thanks again and good luck with the album and your future career.

[zapcamon]

A young woman stands alone in the guest bedroom. The woman is holding what seems to be a poorly photocopied photo of Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter, albeit with crude marker alterations. It’s the best you can do, really. You’re an aspiring architect, goddammit, not an artist!

You drop it somewhere in front of the bed, where it can be easily seen by whomever walks into the door. You really, really don’t want to make your disappearance a mystery. Granted, this act of a “farewell” is pretty vague on it’s own but you’re expecting that they’re curious enough to turn it over.

On the other side is more crude marker squiggles, except this time it happens to be your own handwriting. You were seriously debating on what to put, the limited space on the paper isn’t quite helpful. However, it may get you out of the habit of oversharing so you can just say what’s important. With a yellow, and much finer instrument, it’s scrawled as so. 

“hey so i dont know when or if im coming back. i cant deny that my ass would be dead w/o u guys. the babies are w me now (’cept ms tinkles) so dont worry abt them. im sorry it had to go like this but its the only way i could do it w/o hurting either of us. it was a fun ride and i love u both. not to pull a stock movie phrase but i think it’s better this way. for everyone. and thank you, you lovable dorks

ps nero’s hot uncle, if ur reading this pls keep in touch >;)”

This is silly. This is incredibly silly. This is basically a Dear John letter but with lesser stakes. You don’t even LIKE romcoms what’s up with you?

A lot of things really. You don’t want to tell them upfront because you don’t want their reactions to influence an action you’re already dead-set on doing. You’ve come to terms that you really are a coward sometimes. That’s always been your problem. You see a gap on the floor, you immediately try to pole-vault across it without understanding the risks. You persistently leap off the metaphorical ground, flailing your lanky legs to search for metaphorical footing but instead you fall into the metaphorical hole to your metaphorical death. You never had the equipment nor the experience to deal with such matters. That’s why it crashes down whenever something goes wrong. That’s why you can’t help but think this whole reason why you’ve been so upset all along is...

You clearly need them more than they need you. It’s sickens you. You’re not supposed to “need” anyone. You’re supposed to be living on your own to make ends meet while searching clues for Lauriam. Not that you need HIM eit-

Fuck it, yes you do. You’ve always needed someone. Going around house-to-house for anyone giving you the time of day is proof of that as well. You miss him so much, and it’s time he’s on the forefront of your mind again. Lest you lose your way again to trivial romantic bullshit that ends up going anywhere.

It’s hard to not cry. Thinking of everything that lead up to this, thinking how much time you wasted, thinking how really fucking stupid you really are. You have to immediately wipe away your wet eyes, however. If Nero senses you crying again, he’ll have to march up here and you’ll have to explain yourself. 

The bruises surrounding your body are a constant reminder of what brought you here. They make it difficult to just leave this place behind, but you’ll manage. You grab your three cats and walk towards a corridor of darkness. If this was some sentimental anime, you would have perhaps took one last look back, sigh morosely and give one more quiet parting word despite being in an empty room. But life’s more than a cheesy romcom or anime. Life’s about having to pull the bandage off quick so you don’t feel the pain. Sometimes that means leave without saying a word and not looking back.

It’s time to go back to your real home now.

[svtmatokis]

Closure Part 1

Annyeong~! I’m literally WEEKS away from the end of probation and I am super duper stoked to share with you this next piece. It’s going to be a two parter so look out for the next one soon. 

I’m someone who believes that you shouldn’t live life with regrets and that everything is a learning experience. Everything is meant to happen for a reason and we’re all meant to walk our own paths. Sometimes though, the people that come into our lives are hard to forget. People like your first love for example. 

When I was in grade 11 we had a transfer student from Sask. and he was like that hot new kid that every girl liked. I was lucky enough to have his locker next to mine so we became quick friends.  The thing is, we were on two totally different spectrums of life. He was that popular AP/IB kid who was super smart and took Calculus and wanted to go to top Universities while I was the art student who was involved in a lot of extracurriculars while focusing on Music and Culinary and just wanted to live my life. We were in first aid together and had NOTHING in common. We joked, smiled and shared some special moments while others judged. Why would the hot new kid like someone like me? It didn’t make sense. Eventually, the pressure of his new friends got to the both of us and by senior year, we were nothing more than acquaintances. We talked but it was nothing as in depth as it was before and eventually after graduation, we left with unspoken words and to this day, what if’s still play in my mind.

I’ll never forget him nor will I regret my choices back then. We were young  and if we had stayed the way we were, I dont think I’d be writing this blog right now haha... 

Sorry if this was a bit long, but writing this is closure for me too. I know I’ll probably never see him again but I needed to get this off my chest once and for all. No matter what, he’ll always have a place in my heart. 

NOW TO THE REAL STORY! 

Plot: You were once a trainee with Pledis and had a close relationship with the boys of Seventeen before debut especially Wonwoo. But with the boys debuting so soon and your ambitions changing, leaving was the best choice, but maybe cutting contact from them for five years was not....

Pairing: Reader x Wonwoo

Words: 2565

Genre: A tiny bit of Fluff, lots of reminiscing

“So I’m bringing a friend with me to the meet up tonight” Seungcheol said as the boys finished up practice.

Tonight was a night where all the artists from Pledis got together to hang out. They normally had dinner together before going back to one of the dorms to play games, have dessert and relax outside of their busy schedules. This only happened on rare occasions and were organized by group leaders and their managers so it took a lot of careful planning.

Wonwoo looked up from his phone and raised an eyebrow at his best friend, “Someone we know?”

Seungcheol nodded  his head, “I ran into her a few weeks ago at a cafe and invited her to our get together tonight. I’m going to meet up with her now for dinner so I’ll see you guys back at the dorms.” he said before throwing on a nicer shirt he brought with him and said his goodbyes realizing he was running late.

You sat at the meeting place Seungcheol had told you to wait at so the two of you could have dinner together. You couldn’t believe it had already been close to five years since you last saw him and the rest of the boys. Had it really been that long since you left Pledis?

You thought about each of the Seventeen members, from the oldest but still childish Seungcheol, to the shy gentleman Joshua who you were happy to see had come out of his shell after all these years and of course baby Chan who was still in high school when you left and now he was a graduate and achieving his dreams.

Then there was Wonwoo, the man who no matter how hard you tried, could not rid of from your memories. You leaned back against the bench thinking back to your days with Pledis.

You were one of the older trainees, only being a month younger than Joshua but had entered around the same time Seungcheol had. Not too long later, Jihoon came along and the three of you formed a quick bond both wanting to achieve the similar dream. You and Jihoon became close naturally since composing was something you were both passionate about. Seungcheol was like the big brother you never had, he was always looking out for you but at the same time, he didn’t hesitate to critique you during practices and boy was he harsh sometimes.  

You remembered the day Wonwoo was introduced to the rest of the trainees, it was a few weeks after Soonyoung had joined and you couldn’t help but be intrigued.  He said he was a singer but eventually through Seungcheols influence, he got into hip hop and started rapping.

You remembered the days where you and a few of the other female trainees would sit in on the monthly evaluations and you were mesmerized by Wonwoo’s rapping skills that he had picked up. It complimented his naturally deep voice and his style only added more to his performance.

Eventually as time went on, you two got close since you ran into each other during practices or whenever you were with Seungcheol and Jihoon. Eventually, those group meetings turned into one on one meetings and it was safe to say, you were developing a slight crush on him.

He was quiet and didn’t say much but his actions spoke for him. There were days where practice for you didn’t end till late and Wonwoo would wait for you to finish so he could walk you back to the dorms and stop by for a late night snack along the way. His reason being that it was too dangerous for you to be going home alone though in reality, you normally walked with the girls who lived in your dorm until this habit had picked up.

Other times, he would wait for you outside your dorm building with coffee in hand knowing that you had an early class and he would walk with you to the company all the while enjoying the banter that went back and forth between you two. It was a natural feeling which made your insides warm.

The times you cherished the most were during breaks where a few of you would go to a cafe to relax and it was almost always that you and Wonwoo were together. As the people around you would converse, you would rest your head in your arms while leaning on his arm for support. It brought butterflies to your stomach every time you felt his  fingers gently caress your arm, slowly lulling you to sleep.

But all those moments ended just as quickly as they began. When the boys found out they were going to debut, the boys were on lockdown and working extra hard and all the time that you spent with them was cut short. You didn’t mind because you were working with Bumzu and learning how to compose with Jihoon but because of all that, it meant that you were seeing less of Wonwoo as well.

The two of you always missed each other with timing. Whenever Wonwoo had free time, you would be with Jihoon or Bumzu or at practice and vise versa.

Eventually, the two of you were forced to focus on your respective paths and despite you having feelings for him, had to make that sacrifice and push them aside and soon friends turned into strangers.

You would pass each other in the hallways and greet each other politely but there was never anything more than that. Eventually, as the boys got closer to debut, your own path changed and you found yourself leaving Pledis.

You stated that it was time to move on and that you had other aspirations but deep down, you knew that you were heartbroken and you were running away from your feelings for Wonwoo. Only Seungcheol and Jihoon knew that you had resigned.  There was no big farewell, you had a meal with the two boys on your last day before promising to keep in touch but never did.

As you said goodbye, the memories of you and Wonwoo played back in your mind. The talks, the laughs, the late night walks everything and you had to stop yourself from shedding a tear in front of your friends.

You didn’t think your absence would make an impact on anyone and it didn’t except to Wonwoo who had immediately noticed your absence. When he asked Seungcheol a few months later, a pained look made its way onto his face and the leader only shook his head before walking out of the room not answering.

It was Jihoon who told Wonwoo that you left and cut all contact from everyone and no one could locate you and amongst the boys, Seungcheol was taking it the hardest since the two were practically siblings.

From that day on, you were a constant in Wonwoo’s mind as he was yours.

Five years later, you were a successful composer with Starship Entertainment. The path that you were on with Pledis was different from the one you were on now and looking back, despite what you left behind. You had zero regrets.

Your thoughts were interrupted when someone grabbed you from behind causing you to turn around in shock.

“Seungcheol!” you gasped as the said boy grinned at you before pulling you into a long hug.

The two of you went to a restaurant you both frequented back during your trainee days. It was a small place but had the best Cheesy Korean Chicken and the two of you often found yourselves eating there more often than not.

“Ah...this place feels so nostalgic doesnt it?” Seungcheol asked leaning on the table.

You smiled and nodded your head, “I haven’t been back here in ages.”

“How’s Starship? I heard through Baekho that you left the country for a few years before joining them.”  Seungcheol said after you had ordered.

You nodded your head at his statement. Running into the members of Nu’est had been completely by accident.

After leaving Pledis, you went to do a bit of soul searching and spent three years out in L.A. Nu’est went to film their comeback music video there and it was just pure luck that you ran into them at a restaurant you were at with a few friends Joshua had introduced you to once upon a time. .

Baeko, a member you had bonded with during your trainees days recognized you instantly and called you out.

Once the initial nagging was over, the two of you caught up and you even took him and the other members to your studio your practiced before telling him about the offer Starship had had given you and that you accepted it.

Baekho passed the message on to the others at Pledis and thats what lead to your conversation now.

You and Seungcheol ran into each other backstage at an award show that you attended with Monsta X. They had won an award for their comeback album which you helped produced and wanted to take you in thanks. After the initial shock wore off, you agreed to meet him for dinner the following week..

“I really enjoy working with everyone there” you answered with a smile. “I feel like it was all meant to be.”

Seungcheol nodded his head with a smile. “You looked really happy that night. I can’t believe you helped produce that amazing album. Your skills have seriously improved.”

You blushed at his compliment before thanking him and telling him how proud you were of him and the boys for winning all those awards but also on constantly improving day after day causing him to only grin at you cockily.

There was no anger or tension in the conversation. The conversation flowed like they did back in the day and to anyone who didn’t know the situation, they wouldn’t have been able to tell that you hadn’t seen each other in almost five years. But you also knew that there was a giant turkey in the room and it was no surprise Seungcheol was the one to drop it.

“And you’re one of the most sought after producers in the Korean music industry. Bumzu must be proud. Do you keep in contact with anyone? Outside of Baekho?”

His tone was light but you knew the underlying meaning in his question.

You shook your head, “I only met with Baekho briefly and he gave Bumzu my cell phone number and we only talked on the phone not too long ago. I kind of made it a point to move on with life after I left Pledis.” you explained, “You were all preparing for your debut and I just didn’t feel complete at the agency anymore. I didn’t think it mattered.” you shrugged as Seungcheol shook his head.

“It tore me apart that no one knew where you were after you left. After time passed, I guess a few of the members stopped wondering and moved on with their lives but we can all tell Wonwoo thinks about you alot.” Seungcheol said clenching his hands. “I don’t know what went on between you two before you left but from time to time, when someone brings you up, he gets this distant look in his eyes.”

You sighed, “I’ve thought a lot of about it over the last few years too. What could or should have been. I guess with time, the close friendship we had as trainees faded and we both went our separate ways to walk our own paths. Though at the same time, I feel like there were a lot of things left unsaid between the two of us.” you ran your hand through your hair, “Like we never got any closure you know?”

Seungcheol nodded his head understanding before changing the subject.

“There’s a meet up tonight with a the guys from the company. I said I was bringing someone so I was hoping you’d go with me. I know everyone would be happy to see you again since they heard you were the musical genius behind Monsta X’s latest comeback album.”

You sighed remembering how that was announced. Monsta X had included you in their thank you speech during the award ceremony and you recalled seeing many shocked faces in the area where Seventeen was sitting but remained hidden.

You agreed to go with the promise that if you felt uncomfortable, you would leave and Seungcheol agreed knowing that it wouldnt come to that.

After he paid for the meal, the two of you put your masks on and walked through the streets of Gangnam hand in hand to the Penthouse that the leaders and solo artists had rented out for the get together.

Wonwoo knew the moment Seungcheol walked in and his jaw dropped at who he brought with him.

“No way, is that Y/N-noona?” Mingyu asked shocked as a group started to gather around you and Seungcheol .

Wonwoo couldn’t stop staring from his spot. The last time he saw you was at the monthly evaluation right before you left Pledis though he was sure he caught a brief glimpse of you at the award show the week before sitting with Monsta X’s Shownu.

You felt his eyes on you throughout the night as various artists came to greet you and caught up with those you were once close with. He didn’t approach you but you knew he was watching as if almost waiting for the right time.

Stepping out onto the patio to take a breather, you looked out at the city skyline and let out a sigh. Seeing and catching up with everyone was nice and you were glad they were all doing well. Jihoon had embraced you tightly as soon as he saw you and congratulated you on your success. He even offered to collab on a piece with you one day which you said you would think about.

As you pondered your thoughts, you didn’t hear the door behind you open and shut before feelings someone’s presence next to you.

“It’s been a while…” a deep voice interrupted your thoughts and you turned your head shocked to see the one person who was constantly on your mind.

“It has. How are you Wonwoo?” you asked as he turned to give you a small bow.

“I hear congratulations are in order.” he said with smile looking out at the city skyline.

“Thank you…” you said, “Congratulations on your success. I knew you guys would be great.”

Wonwoo chuckled looking down letting out a hesitant breath, “Listen…” he had to think hard of what he was going to say. Right now, they were treading on light water and he missed when their conversations would naturally flow between them.

“Would...you like to get coffee with me tomorrow?” he asked turning to look at you and he met his eyes before nodding slowly.

“I would like that.” you said with a smile as he grinned knowing he made the right move. The two of you stayed on the balcony in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before you both deemed it too cold and decided to go back inside.

At the end of the night, at Seungcheols insistence, Wonwoo walked you back to your apartment with the promise of seeing you the next day.

Shoutout to @johnaldsuh and everyone else in the Discord chat for the encouragement! - Anna

[kilmameri]

I saw @solange-lol doing this and it seemed fun so I wanted to do it too. Please do it yourselves too and tag me to it if you like, I won’t be tagging anyone. I’ve added my comments in chunks so theyre easier to delete. this is mostly me writing random garbage which isnt needed but i wanted to do

Rules: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations

AIR: i have small hands • i love the night sky • i watch small animals and birds when i pass them by • i drink herbal tea • i wake to see dawn • the smell of dust is comforting • i’m valued for being wise • i prefer books to music • i meditate • i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

What kinda aspiration is having small hands tho? :DD I love the night sky the most when it’s warm an dark, often when im like, on a trip. its not often both dark and warm where i live :D and i Love birds. today waiting for the bus i almost forgot where i was when i watched birds fly in flocks over us. theyre moving back here for spring! :D

also like,, waking early is so over appreciated. and i see the dawn plenty bc the sun rises at like nine o’clock in winter if at all like,,, i get that its more constant to ppl who live closer to the equator and actually means something. i would wake up to see the dawn tho for the stillness of the world tho if it was with someone but only in daydreams bc why get up early when u can stay up late? that last one abt truths like lmao we get it u deep but yea i love trivia

FIRE: i don’t have straight hair • i like to wear ripped jeans • i play an organized sport • i love dogs • i am not afraid of adventure • i love to talk to strangers • i always try new foods • i enjoy road trips • summer is my favorite season • my radio is always playing

i love curly hair. i have really thick and stiff straigh af hair and i sometimes wish it had Even Waves bc id love to look more messy-cute ya know? bc now its all clean partings, no stray hairs. it looks too formal for my taste and id like for it to have some personality. i know i could just curl it with an iron or get it done but yea,,, i dont care That much

like im constantly told im crazy brave and i guess this applies to me? like i Did move at age 16 to my own in a city i have never been in with no one there who knew me and just,,, didnt even care. i tell others what ive been up to and they ooh and aah and im like?? but yea it does feel nice to be considered adventurous

also i love weird foods and am Not picky. in ninth grade home ec my kitchen needed to design a three course meal and dear fucking god was that a mess. we had one vegetarian lactose intolerant peep, one who didnt eat random shit like onions and bell pepper bc they taste bad (???) and so if a recepie had even a slightest bit of that he insisted it be left out or didnt even listen to the full recepie. and one who like,,,, would Not eat any foregin food. he wanted Potatoes and sausages. im like??? this is the final home ec test? this is supposed to showcase our skills,,, and you want boiled potatoes and plain sausage? what a mess lmao

WATER: i wear bracelets on my wrists • i love the bustle of the city • i have more than one set of piercings • i read poetry • i love the sound of a thunderstorm • i want to travel the world • i sleep past midday most days • i love dimly lit diners and fluorescent signs • i rewatch kids’ shows out of nostalgia • i see emotions in colors not words

i moved to a city abt uhhh? half a year ago and i love it here :D theres nothing better than walking in the centrum with the pidgeons and street artists and ppl having a good time chatting and shopping

i used to sleep past midday but i try to not so much bc that worsens my mood a lot bc i feel really isolated spending so much of my time alone. but it is my natural way of being so i guess thats how it be sometimes

EARTH: i wear glasses/contacts • i enjoy doing the laundry • i am a vegetarian • i have an excellent sense of time • my humor is very cheerful • i am a valued adviser to my friends • i believe in true love • i love the chill of mountain air • i’m always listening to music • i am highly trusted by the people in my life

bad eyesight ://. i do kinda enjoy doing household chores when i have something to listen to or a call to be in but that hasnt been the case lately. i am not vegetarian but sometimes i do go days without eating meat by accident which i dont mind but like,,, yea. its bc i eat like, bread, noodles, cereal, and then there might be something vegetarian at school that i eat bc it looks like the tastiest food there

idk abt my humor? its kinda spicky, insulting to some. but i dont mean it its like friendly banter. but i put it on with ppl who arent friends of confy with that sometimes and i dont mean to honestly

AETHER: i go without makeup in my daily life • i make my own artwork • i keep on track of my tasks and time • i always know true north • i see beauty in everything • i can always smell flowers • i smile at everyone i pass by • i always fear history repeating itself • i have recovered from a mental disorder • i can love unconditionally

never really liked makeup, too much work for a thing i cant really tell is even there. the flashy types of makeup i dont like so much. also im already cute af

ive been told im organized as hell by my peers and i dont get it. thats just?? how i naturally do things. it like,,, is Impossible for me to put things in their wrong places. if its hard to put where it belongs then i dedicate a “pending” spot for it in a place thats easy. and i hate notebooks and instead use a binder filled with loose leaves that i can edit as much as i like :3

thanks for reading, hmu if u wanna say something abt the things i wrote. ill read it

[okyio-archive]

                                                HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

Hey guys !!! I just wanted to do a little smt smt for y’all (I know it’s like just a doodle (of either u/icon/oc) but I wanted to do smt ?? I can’t make cc / have time to make a grand ol edit so aksdjhf) to show how thankful I am for everyone I’ve met + how I appreciate you guys sm for being super supportive + loving. I didn’t have much time cause I’m going on vacation ( still need to pack haha) + I won’t have access to my game/laptop during the holidays so today was the only free time I had asdjfh. If I had more time, I would have drawn all of you guys buT know that i love each and every one of you because you have made a positive impact in my life and I’m super grateful to have y’all. You matter so much to me and I wish I could give everyone a good ol hug!!! ily + please take care !!

But here’s some ol cheesy ass stuff below (drawings are from l -> r):

@grapfruit :: hONESTLY i dont even need to say anything cause you know how much i love you okay?!?! idk why you stuck w/ me for so long like i’m not even that good of a friend?? like ur super social butterfly + im like a slow fucker at replying but u still stuck w/ me umMM?? legit the v first time u msged me about being from HK i legit fangirled b/c i loved ur sims + style sm and you’re one of the v first frds on here that i really clicked?? like it’s rare for me (even IRL) for me to find ppl im fine w/ but ilysm and i love how we’re super chill tgt + have v similar interests (i mEAN food is #1 priority lets be honest) but I only wish you the best w/ everything in life + i legit care about u sm that i practically adopted u as my sister ok yeah hopefully i can find time to meet up w/ u buT for now ily than ks

@ridgeport :: !!!! margarITA IS2G you’re the best at everything: cc making, story telling, editing okAY you’re the perfect package + i want to thank you for taking the time in doing this + being such a huge part of the community??? i legit can’t imagine this community w/o u?? so thank you for being here + blessing us every day. i hOPE you have a great life cause you deserve everything ok ilysm please have a safe holiday !!!

@chocolat-souffle :: okAY I LOVE HOW WE CLICK SM + we can rant about shit + be open about it + we relate to each other sm?? like our opinions, fashion sense, life in general, food etc?? i’m so thankful that we met on here cause it feels like we would be vvvv good frds if we met irl :’+) ilysm and thNANK YOU again for being so patient w/ me + my slow replies i hope you’re having fun on vacay !!! ilysm okAY

@catplot :: !!!!!! yES U SEE THAT PIXEL THING ON THE CORNER, IT’S OUR FAVOURITE THING AHAHAH bUT I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT WE MAGICALLY FOUND EACH OTHER I S2G IT’S FAITH !!! yOURE 100X BETTER ARTIST THAN ME oKAY and I’m wishing the best okA i hope work isn’t too stressful + youre spending a gol ol jolly time w/ ur loved ones ilysm an d i hope we  can continue drawing di!Ck$ tgt for a v long time ily

@meisiu :: i hope you’re doing well w/ ur finals :’+) !! i can’t believe we have sm in common (animal crossing, bujo, sims, canto culture????) like i legit would lOVE to spend more time getting to know you but i just want to rave bout how sweet you are + your builds always amazes me?? i love them sm + once your finals are done, i hope you’ll spend a good time w/ ur loved ones :’+) !! tysm for posting your content everyday !! ily

@whiite-tea :: !!! you’ve been my legit #1 cheerleader since like the beginning. legit you msg me on the daily to make sure + check up if im okay + i’m really thankful for that??! you’re always here supporting me + others + put others first before yourself adsfj yoURE TOO KIND LOVE OKAY?1 remember youre loved + i hope school’s not too stressful :+( !! ilysm !!

@1tens :: yEAH OKAY JES LIKE ILY?? I WANT TO GET TO KNOW U BETTER BUT I KNOW WE’LL BE COOL FRIENDS CAUSE UR SO SWEET + I LOVE UR STYLE SM ??! LIKE U MAKE THE CUTESTS SIMS EVER + UR STYLE + EDITS ARE TO DIE FOR!!!! and you take the time out of your day to comment on like everyone’s post + you’re adorbs okay? im only wishing you the best + tysm for supporting love ilYSM :’+)))

@twikkii :: i drew nissi if you’re okay w/ that :’+) !! but i s2g you’re the cutest ever and my heart is always thinking about you okay?! you make the cutest edits + gameplay pics ever i legit get so excited whenever you post. you’re so sweet + kinda to others & i’m always wishing that you’re doing okay !! ilysm + i’m so thankful i met you- you really taught me things + i appreciate you sm kjadhf have a good holiday love :’+)

@dnasz :: okay honestly everything you post is so cute + aesthetically pleasing?! your builds are amazing (like wanna teach me lOL??! i legit jaw dropped when u post ur most recent ones) + you’re super sweet + kind to others. everyday i look forward in seeing you post cause i know it’ll be amazing :’+) i hope you’ll have a great holiday love !!! 

@simsao :: the fact that you match colours so well is inspiring. I’ve always struggled w/ colours + your posts are so unique that it has challenged me to step from my comfort zone + try to explore + play around w/ it more?! so thank you sm for posting + i love your aliens uGH!! your edits are super unique like idk how else to describe them but i love them sm. + your self sim ones atm are my fav omg we legit have sm in common akjsdhf bUT thank you sm for posting + i hope you have a great holiday :’+)

@smubuh :: ABBY!!! okAY i’ve raved about you before but you’re such a sweetheart and a person I really do aspire. You’re kind, hardworking and have a beautiful mind + soul. I rarely look up to anyone but I can safely say you’re one of them !! Thank you for bringing so much to the community - you’ve taught us so much (esp when you have a super busy schedule). I hope you have a great holiday w/ your loved ones + your family :”+) ily !!!

@4fig :: !! i hope you’re doing well w/ ur exams love !! i know i’ve told you so many times but you’re one of the few reasons why i joined this community - your edits are legit my aesthetic ?! every time you post i’m always in aw because you create the most beautiful sims + your editing style is one of my favs. i honestly would love to get to know you better once you’re done w/ everything but you’re really kind + sweet + i only wish you the very best :’+) have a great holiday love !!

@faeflowr :: yeah your edits are my fav okYA?! scratch that EVERYTHING you post is beautiful :’+) your sims, gameplay, edits - they’re all amazing + I love them sm. bUT most importantly you’re so pretty iRl omg?! if i had to choose who’s my fav simblr posts are itll be you cause i love everything you do + your aesthetic is legit exactly what i love aksjdhf ily !! i hope you have a great holiday :+)

@ughplumb :: yEAH ILL FOREVER CALL U UNFPLUMB CAUSE YOU’RE FKING BEAUTIUL I SWEAR U CAN BE A MODEL OK idk why you aren’t like ?? i love how you make ur sims cause i can never make good sims like yours - they’re all beautiful just like you ;’+) aND im excited for you to post but take your time okay ?!? tysm for being here + ily !!! i hope you have a great holiday !!

@mooon-sims :: yeah who do i go to when i need a lookbook?? your styles the best ? i love your new editing style + im so glad youre still here :’+) i know it gets tough esp w/ collage apps + school but im so proud of you okay?1 you’re a strong fighter + im glad you still pull through in posting !!! ily + remember to keep doing you okay?! have a great holiday love :’+)

@blarffy :: !!! okAY YEAH EVERYTHING YOU DO IS PERFECTION AND LIKE EVERY1 CAN BACK ME UP HECK U HAVE LIKE 128736 SPOUCES LINING UP OUTSIDE THE CHAPEL RN bUT thank you sm for posting ?! i know we dont talk that often but youre super sweet (maybe it’s a canadian thing?!? LOOL jokES) but i would love to get to know you better cause youre fking bomb?! thank you for blessing us w/ ur content + i hope you have a great holiday :’+)

@pink-tea :: okAY I MISS YOU AND YOUR POSTS !!! i swear youre so sweet + i love your aesthetic so much ajksdhf buT youre still here always supporting me despite having a super busy life so i thank you for that !! i’m always here supporting you + waiting till you post cause i miss them sm :’+((( i hope youre doing well regardless + remember i always love u !! have a great holiday love!!

@liltofu :: !!! i love lov elove your aesthetic + sims + style so much?! every time you post i get really excited cause you never disappoint? i’m always so jealous of your editing style cause it’s legit my fav thing ever alskdfj + i use like 99% of your recolours cause u pick out the best things to recolour?! bUT i hope youre doing well !! ily + have a great holiday love :’+)

@dust-bubbles :: awh man you’re always here spreading love + i swear youre my lil sunshine :’+) thank you for taking the time out of your day for sendin me love?! like i always smile when you do + i appreciate your unconditional support sm !! i’m wishing you the very best in life cause you deserve it ?! ily + i hope you have a wonderful holiday :’+) 

@nolan-sims :: i just want to say thank you so much for the ongoing love + support you give + show to the community. not only are you super sweet + caring but you take the time out of your day in making cc for us?! so thank you for being part of this community - i really appreciate you sm + i only wish good things happen to you + everyone around you :’+) ily + i hope you have a great holiday w/ ur loved ones !!

@ayoshi :: okAY you’re the sweetest little bean ever + your fashion sense is amazing okay ?! i have ALL your cc downloaded so thank you sm for being part of this community + blessing us w/ ur bomb ass cc + edits :’+) i appreciate sm the time + dedication you take out of your day to make stuff for us !! im only wishing you good things + i hope you’ll have a great holiday !!

@obi-uhie :: i WISH I COULD ROCK YOUR CONFIDENCE OKAY ?! you legit inspire me sm + i love how unique your sims are okAY?! keep doing you + i love everything you do :’+) i hope youre having a great holiday love !!

@suspiciouslypinklady :: !! youre so sweet + i love your confidence?! i’m super thankful for the love + support you always give whenever things get tough + i appreciate it sm. it makes things a lot easier + you’re seriously such an angel. i hope you have a great holiday w/ ur loved ones b/c u deserve the v best !!

@viiavi :: okay i just want to say thank you sm for the love + support you give whenever shit hits the fan LOL your kind words + msgs really help me a lot whenver things aren’t the best so I thank you for that. thank you for being so kind, thoughtful + caring to everyone in this community :’+) i really appreciate that sm + i hope you keep doing that !! i hope you have a great holiday !!

@dicoatl :: i swear youre always so kind to others ?! im so sorry you’ve been getting so much negativity these days but i know you’re a super strong person who’s doing their very best + im super proud of you okay!! ive been loving your new edits recently + it really shows youre experimenting a lot + it looks amazing :’+) so thank you for being here okay? have a great holiday !!!

@oakglow :: catherine !! your editing + story telling is amazing?! i mean i can’t write for shit LOL but i love it whenver your post esp knowing you’re busy w/ life. so thank you for that :’+) i hope you + your loved ones a great holiday !! 

@simmerjade :: jADE I MISS YOU !!! I HOPE YOU’RE DOING WELL !! you’re one of the v first friends i made here in this community + ik youre super busy rn w/ life but im so glad we’ve met ?! i hope life’s treating you v well + youre not too stressed out from school - i know you can do it :’+) im always here supporting you whatever you do + remember ilysm !!! have a great holiday love !!

@waffle-pxels :: i know we dont talk that often but the times we do youre so kind ?! tysm for being here + supporting me :’+) i really appreciate u sm + i hope youre doing well !! have a great holiday love !!

@simharaa :: i MISS YOU SM OKAY aND I S2G I HOPE YOURE OKAY !! again my heart goes out to you + your family but please take care okay?! you’ve been here since day 1 + i’m super glad we’ve met cause the times we’ve talked i truely treasured sm :’+) i’m loving your edits + im so glad youre back posting again !! i hope you + ur fam a speedy recovery + remember ily !! youre a strong bean !!

@simsluname :: lunA!!! your gifs are amazing + i love how we grew tgt in this community ?? i remember we both started off together + been supporting each other since the v beginning when we joined this community :’+) thank you for being here + blessing us w/ ur gameplay pics + teaching us how to gif ?? like w/o you i wouldn’t have learned ajksdfh so thank you for that & ilysm you’re so cute !!! have a great holiday love !!

@alternacorn-sims :: you’ve been a long time supporter and i’m super thankful for you?! you’re always here liking my stuff + sending positive vibes + love :’+) i hope youre doing well !! please keep doing you + remember that i appreciate you sm :’+) tysm for being here + i hope you have a great holiday w/ ur loved ones!!

@expressgo :: thank you for being so patient w/ me ?!! i’m a super slow replier but we manage to be able to talk + i’m so glad we do?! thank you for reaching out to me at the beginning + i really enjoy talking to you:’+) youre super sweet + we can talk about like everything ?? your cats are adobs + i wish you the best + happy holidays :’+) ily !!

@hazelios :: i seriously have all your cc downloaded in my folder + i appreciate it sm whenever you post content + cc for the community :’+) so thank you for that !! you’re always super kind + sweet whenever we talk and i only wish you the very best !! ily + i hope you have a great holiday !!

@simsthatsparkle :: !!! you’ve been like one of my og supporters for a v long time and i’m super thankful for you being here?! i can’t imagine the love + support i get + idk how else to express my appreciation asjkdfh i only hope you the best + ily !! i hope you have a wonderful holiday love :’+)

@femmesim :: okay you’re a hUGE inspiration to everyone in this community + i’m so thankful that youre here?! your edits + story telling is breath taking + it hits me all the time when you post ?! so thank you sm for creating bomb ass content + telling stories that aren’t often told. please keep doing you!!! i hope you have a great holiday :’+)

[hellomissmabel]

Debut part II/II

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Warnings: Someone being called a slut. Fluffiness overload.

Word count: 1.7k

Summary: You’re a small town actress catapulted to fame when you land a role in an immensely popular TV show. After turning down the flirtations of the lead male character, the media paints you as a bitch and you end up being bullied by his fans. Struggling to stay true to yourself, you find comfort and friendship in one of actors who makes his debut on the show.

Find part one here

All Sebastian Stan’s characters & fics can be found here

A/N: Written for @bbparker aka @bxckybxarnesstar

You can hear him playing the piano even with the door closed, the melodic movements of his fingertips creating an ecstatic atmosphere, never mind if it’s a slow or sad song. Yesterday you caught him playing ‘Last Christmas’ by Wham and today he’s playing ‘All I want for Christmas’. He doesn’t stop when he notices someone opening the door, continuing with marvellous rhythmic intent.

When you sit down next to him on the bench, he eventually nudges your side and stops playing with both hands, his left hand resting on your knee while the right finishes off the song and ebbs into another one of his own creation. The silly tunes make you giggle and with a quick peck to his cheek, your fingers ache for the same workout and you join in to the best of your abilities.

“What took you so long? You’re nearly half an hour late?”

With a deep sigh, you tell him the break-up scene. You gave Brady shit about how he started seeing Dixie behind your back, yet Brady also had a field day barking at Harley for kissing his half-brother August. The necessary dramatics ensued and Harley slapped her now ex-boyfriend right across the cheek.

“I didn’t enjoy hitting him, you know. Even though he deserved it,” you admit to the brunet as you miss a couple notes, noticing how he’s smiling from ear to ear. “He called me a slut.”

He stops playing as he notices the melody you’re playing is horrendous. “Well, if it’s any consolation, I thoroughly enjoyed making out with you.”

Caressing the keys of the piano with absent-mindedly, you think back to the moment where he confesses his love to you. It’s the plot twist of the entire fifth season and supposed to feed the fans throughout the entire sixth and seventh. You didn’t rehearse your first kiss with Bucky like you did with Steve, because you actually like Bucky and didn’t want all the kissing to dull down the special moment between Harley and August.

And maybe you were a little bit selfish too, because you’ve been taking piano lessons from Bucky for almost four months now and you’ve only grown fonder of the brunet with the baby blue eyes. “Me too,” you chuckle, leaning your cheek on his shoulder and listening to him play song after song. “You never did tell me why you started playing the piano,” you ask him after some time has passed.

Humming along to the melody, you feel the soft press of his lips to your hair. “I’ve never told this to anyone before, so…” He drops his hands to his lap and coughs. “My mother, euhm, she’s… a music teacher. I never really had a taste for music, didn’t consider myself to be very musical either. Until she passed away… Then music became a way to stay in touch with her.”

Looking up at the pianist, you cradle his cheek in the palm of your hand and smile sadly. He gives you a tight-lipped smile in return and presses a chaste kiss to your lips. “Don’t worry about me, babe. Worry about your lack of rhythm.” His warm lips find yours again with a tiny wink. “Which song do you wanna play next?”

“I do my best but I’ve never really had a sense of rhythm,” you smirk in a teasing tone, your fingers rapidly conjuring up the first song that pops into your head. “How about –“

“Cut! Cut, cut, cut! Cut!”

Tony comes barging in on the set, pushing past the camera crew and elbowing his way towards where you and Bucky are sitting at the piano. “I need more chemistry! Y/N, Harley just left the guy she’s been seeing since first year for his brother, the love of her life. I need you to be more broken up about it. And you,” he turns to Bucky, pointing a stern finger at him, “You have to be more charming! You just stole your half-brother’s girlfriend! I wanna see you flirt your way into her pants for God’s sake!”

“Alright, let’s just take a break first, okay?,” Peggy saves the day. “We’ve been shooting since 5 a.m.”

You and Bucky slide off the bench and both head into different directions, Bucky being called to the wardrobe department because Tony doesn’t like the way his jacket fits around his shoulder. Natasha and Maria as well as the other dancers aren’t on set today so you feel a little lost without your usual crew. You can’t exactly go sit with Sharon and Steve, their mutual scene up next after you finish up with Bucky.

So you head over to the makeup department where you find Wanda scrolling on her phone, checking out guys on Tinder. “Hi there,” she pipes up, a little startled when she sees you leaning against the door frame with a knowing look in your eyes. “Just… checking my e-mails. How was your scene?”

“Checking your e-mails, hm?,” you wink knowingly. “With that big of a smile? Come on, Wanda, please…” Sitting down next to her on one of the chair for the makeup artists and hair stylists, you look over her shoulder at the guys she’s checking out.

“You’re not with Bucky?,” she asks you after swiping left on a certain Sam Wilson, the millionth aspiring actor on Tinder, the perks of finding a boyfriend in Hollywood. “You usually practice in between scenes and never spent any time with us anymore.” With a fake pout, she nudges your side with her elbow and smiles cheekily. “Is there something wrong in paradise?”

“No, he got called to wardrobe for a new fitting,” you grin as you poke her back in the ribs. “And there’s nothing going on between me and Bucky.”

“Right,” she chuckles dryly as she locks her phone, the face of a certain Clint Barton vanishing as she closes the app. “Now, missy, you get your ass to the rehearsal room and text Bucky to join you. Tell him you wanna practice the scene again to please Tony and so that you can all go home early.”

Pushing you out of the room, she stands her ground and even pickpockets your phone to do the dirty work for you, sending a quick text to Bucky who immediately replies with an ‘OK’ and a smiley. “You can thank me later, Y/N.”

With a soft groan you make your way down to the rehearsal room at the far end of the hallway, right next to Peggy’s private office. You arrive just in time for you to sit down at the piano and start playing the show’s theme song, the only song you know by heart, before Bucky gets there too and stands behind you with his hands on your shoulders and his lips pressing an affectionate kiss to the crown of your hair.

“You did great, you know. Tony’s just on edge because there’s this new show airing tomorrow that supposed to be the next Pretty Little Liars. Now we’ve all got to be more sexy, more scheming, more dramatic,… More fake if you ask me…,” Bucky chuckles dryly.

You stop playing as soon as you feel and focus on his touch. “But I thought we were the next Pretty Little Liars?,” you feign sadness as Bucky takes a seat next to you.

“No, Y/N, we are the next Gossip Girl,” he corrects you with an amused smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Huuuuuuuuuuge difference!”

Ardently he erupts into a play of tones and tunes, trying to impress the girl next to him. “You know, I did enjoy kissing you, Y/N. Too bad it was only on set…,” he throws his bait at you to see if you’ll bite. “And I’m not saying that just because we’re supposed to be the new power couple on the show. I’m not Steve.”

He glances at you from the corner of his eye to see a small smile break through your stoic, surprised façade. “C’mon Y/N, at least admit you liked kissing me, too.”

You place a hand on top of his and he halts his movements, looking at you with curiosity and hope in those beautiful baby blues. “I really liked kissing you, Bucky. And I never really thanked you for teaching me how to play the piano, so…”

Leaning in very close, you give the brunet the impression you’re going to kiss him. There’s chemistry in the air and an electrifying pull between you and our co-star, yet as your lips just about brush his, you lean back again and start playing the piano. “But first, practice!,” you chuckle with a girly giggle.

Bucky’s lips chase after you when you leave him hanging mid-air, his eyes already fluttering closed, and when he figures out you’ve played him, he laces his arm around your waist and pulls you into his side. His fingertips tickle you, drawing high-pitches squeals from your lips as you’re very ticklish.

“Practice? Practice, hm? I’ll show you some practice?,” he chimes in a sing-song voice before the soft press of his lips on yours catches you off guard. Instantly you melt into him, hands splayed on his chest and gently fisting his shirt while Bucky cups your cheek in one hand and holds your neck with the other.

Gasping slowly when the pianist elicits a low moans from your lips, he deepens the kiss and caresses your tongue with his. “How’s that for practice, babe?,” he chuckles as you are both panting slightly.

“Practice makes perfect, they say. So let’s try again, even if it’s just to keep Tony satisfied with your charms,” you joke playfully, a seductive tone to your voice as the piano lessons are long forgotten and another searing kiss from Bucky takes your breath away.

Tag list: @melconnor2007 @learisa @mrshopkirk @dont-speak-just-read @buckyappreciationsociety @beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep @lovemarvelousfics @pleasantdreamqueen @petersunderroos @movingonto-betterthings @palaiasaurus64 @ssweet-empowerment @lovemarvelousfics @rrwilson66 @petersunderroos  @reniescarlett   @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @barnes-heaven  @that-sokovian-bastard @abovethesmokestacks @marvelrevival  @marvel-fanfiction @justanotherbuckydevotee @barnes-heaven  @heartmade-writingbucky @buckyywiththegoodhair @captnbarnesrogers @a-little-hell-to-raise @knittingknerdy  @winterboobaer @hymnofthevalkyrie  @feelmyroarrrr @justareader @howlingbarnes  @themcuhasruinedme @buchananbarnestrash @hollycornish   @delicatecapnerd @tomhollandzs  @aletheladyinred @xbergiex @promarvelfangirl @capbuckybuchanan @pegasusdragontiger @salty-holographic-stickers  @sebstanchrisevanchickforever19 @autijahnerd13s-blahg @sophiealiice @sarahmatthews7 @lumelgy @kudosia @daringtodreamawake @moonbeambucky @suz-123 @breezy1415 @always-an-evans-addict @thegreentgirl @yourtropegirl @4theluvofall @curvybihufflepuff @caplansteverogers @amrita31199 @isnt-the-blog-youre-looking-for @pineapplebooboo @thefridgeismybestie @supernatural508 @supernaturaldean67@cant-decide-at-this-moment @mehrmonga @specs15 @kanupps06 @imnotinsanehunny @sarahgracej @jasura @nerdyandproud9 @geeksareunique @jesspfly @badassbaker @whenallsaidanddone @ailynalonso15 @thebookisbtr @animechick725 @wheneggsymetbucky

[franeridart]

hi. hello. this is a bit embarrassing but i'm trying to buy my bf a tablet sort of thing so he can draw his arts. he's been wanting one forever but hasn't rly shown me which one he wants. i want to surprise him n buy a good one worth the money n was just curious if you had any suggestions. i've looked into wacom products, but i'm just such a noob to these things n was hoping you can help... i understand if this is silly, you don't have to reply! ur just so amazing, ur opinion is trustworthy 😅☺️

Okay, so, this is just my opinion and since it’s based completely on personal experiences it’s gonna possibly be incredibly different from other people’s opinions, so I just wanna make clear from the start that this is a personal preference and isn’t in any way meant as an absolute truth

Anyway, as far as I’m concerned when you’re just starting out you don’t need anything fancy at all. As an aspiring digital artist your bf might have looked up tablets and cried tears of blood over how much he’d like a cintiq or anything similar, but my very personal opinion is that fancy stuff is gonna be pretty much useless to you and be generally a waste of money? You’re just learning, you don’t need anything more than the basics. My suggestion is that you pick something simple and easy to use - I own this wacom intuos, had it for a long while and I like it a lot, but there’s also less expensive options you can go for too that people seem to like just as much! I’ve lately read on my dash about the Huion H610, they say it doesn’t cost much at all but it’s just as good as the Intuos, that could be a good option for you~

Anon said:  Hey!!! I was wondering if its ok to rb your oc art? I realized a lot less people rb those and i get anxious easily so... also i really don't want to disrespect either! But i always thought of rebloging as a way of saying "i appreciate your art" and i really really (really ) like yours (both the style and itself in general). (I hope you dont mind my bad english ha ha) i hope you don't mind this stupid ask! Im still kind of new to tumblr

It’s 100% okay!!!! *O* Thank you for liking them enough to want to reblog them ;A; !!!!

Anon said:i miss ur bokuroteru so much 😭💕 i love ur art but whenever i see ur header, i just remember ur bokuroteru comic and my heart cries storms for them to be seen again.

Aw anon I’m super happy you like my stuff for those three but as of now inspiration in that department is... super low... and tbh the haikyuu fandom is being incredibly unresponsive and non-vocal about their appreciation of fanworks in this period so even when I do have ideas for that fandom I sort of. Let them go. Or just sketch them out and never finish them.

Like, you know the whole deal about having to draw for yourself and not for others? That’s what I do 100% of the times when I’m starting a drawing, but to draw for myself I don’t exactly need to finish a drawing, you know? Sometimes there’s a scene I wanna see and I sketch it out in a super rough way and as far as my personal desire to see it goes I’m satisfied with that, and everything after that - the cleaning and lining and maybe even coloring - I put the effort in it because I want to share it with people. And the deal with the Hq!! fandom lately is that they don’t share my excitement for it. They either only like it, or don’t comment on it, or comment only to complain about this or that thing. In the worst case posting hq!! only ends up with people asking me to draw something else (ie I feel like drawing Karasuno so I draw it and post it and no one comments/rb/says anything about it but there’s 20 asks in my inbox asking me why I haven’t drawn any bok*ro lately)

When I think about posting stuff for hq lately I automatically compare it to posting stuff for bnha where I could draw a background character that appeared once 120 chapters ago and there’s still gonna be people that go “yes! that character!! I love that character!!! can’t believe there’s actual art for it oh my god!!!!” - that’s... that’s the sort of reaction that makes you wanna share stuff

I dunno, maybe I’m just expecting too much out of the hq fandom. But anyway, sharing for bnha makes me way happier and glad I decided to finish a drawing lately, so I guess that’s what’s happening there.

Anon said:Every time your soft doods art shows up on my dash I have to pause and take a deep breath and just thank god for all the good in the world because I'm blown away every single time

This is s o s w e e t oh my god ;A; thank you so much!!!!

Anon said:Johnny is a fucking angel dammit. Have you read the new DGM already?? I'm in tears. I love this manga so much. The frequency of the releases are killing me... it has such a great story and great characters. It needs more love

I did read it!!!! And yeah the fandom used to be way bigger, but honestly I’m glad it’s just the couple dozens people it is. Like a small town where everyone knows everyone else. No drama, no discourse. Everyone ships what they want and we all pass each other tissues to dry the tears. The only argument that happens regularly is people complaining about the relase schedule and the old fans telling them to let Hoshino live. A good place, this fandom’s a good place.

DGM was my playground for most of my experimenting as far as creating art goes, I really did reach in all directions with it through the years and it helped me shape myself a lot, so I really want it to stay quiet and nice and peaceful, that’s my dream for it haha smaller fandoms have a better chance to keep that freedom

Anon said: Oh man, I live for that Togata x Amajiki interaction

You talking about the color spread cause yes that was adorable!!! ;A;

Anon said:I look a little, and do you still draw Bakugo x Kirishima x Kaminari?

Sure, it’s still my main ship for Kaminari and my main ot3! Just wait for Denki to start being relevant in the manga again, I’ll probably fall headfirst into it all over again haha

Anon said:Your art is so wonderful you're wonderful everything's so wonderful i'm crying omg

SOB no anon you’re wonderful!!!!

Anon said:Due to my brain not wanting to cooperate with me (ever), Bakugou Katsuki is now Batsuki Katsuki in my head.

This is the funniest thing I’ve read today and I’m in t e a r s hahaha

Anon said:Artistic!Mina making pop art and colorful paintings :o what are ur thoughts

HELL YES that’s my main headcanon for Mina, she’s definitely an artsy girl!!! I like the idea of her sharing it with Bakugou t b h

Anon said:I'm still just repeatedly looking at your newest KiriBaku because hot damn.

I’m super glad you liked it!!!!!!! oh my gOD!!!!!!!

Anon said:Heyy please rec Kami comics please! I'm in a Kami art shortage and I currently can't find art as awesome as yours...

I’m so sorry I wish I could help you with this but I don’t know anyone who draws lotsa Kaminari either ;---;

[madokasoratsugu]

Takumi, Alice and Ryoko for the Character Meme, pls? qwq

sorry this took so long asdajhdf !! i thought tumblr ate this ask when it disappeared from my inbox AND THEN I FOUND IT IN MY DRAFTS.... pls forgive me and enjoy !!

Takumi

do I like them: ahahahahah do i LIKE him ahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA yes. i would kill a man for takumi aldini.

5 good qualities: 1) soft and pure and wholesome 2) never gives up, like son worked so goddamn hard to get to where he is and is working even harder to improve i cri 3) loyal to the fault4) extreme to the max. 5) looks out for people + advocate for justice

3 bad qualities:1) shuts down when depressed2) doesnt know when to Stop3) keeps embarrassing himself (btw i strongly relate to every single one of this. i feel u takumi, i feel u.)

favourite episode/etc: CHAPTER 201....the Saving Grace of this arc

otp: soutaku !!! i love their healthy rivalry and stupid shenanigans thanks

brotp: takumi/hayama !! HAHA bet none of u expected this :”)) i like to headcanon that they’re super chill together and talk about plants and stupid crushes on a certain redhead a lot. 

(platonic) ot3: takumi/souma/megumi....theyre really cute and two people are Ideal for reigning in souma

notp: mimasaka/takumi...................i hope this is self explanatory for Why

best quote: 

or a more serious one: “don’t look down on me, im a pro cuoco. no matter what, ill take the dishes to where the customers wait, the tavola.”

head canon: after his match against mimasaka, he grew a slight aversion to lemon flavoured foods (including sweets and drinks). he resents mimasaka mildly for this, because he used to love his grandma’s homemade lemonade a lot and now he can’t drink it w/out it triggering bad memories.

Alice:

do I like them: YES YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES I WANT ALICE TO STEP ON ME 

5 good qualities:1) cool and calm under pressure !!2) taunts Everyone and Anyone3) confidence is the key to a high self esteem4) beautiful. stunning. enchanting.5) works hard (extremely hard) for her passion in both science and cooking, to the point where she brings them together immaculately. like. goals.

3 bad qualities:1) not good at expressing her love2) not enough screentime3) cant get competitive even when she has to be (she recognises this and wants to change tho so A++)

favourite episode/etc: that Moment before she faces off against souma in AE arc....she looked so cool....

otp: alice/success. i want alice to dominate the world.

brotp: alice/ryou !! i really like seeing them as a tightknit couple who cherish each other immensely non-romantically.

ot3: ryou/alice/hayama !! labcoat trio go !!

notp: alice/souma like lmao sorry but i never got the appeal...i see them as rival-friends who try to fuck up each other’s wedding receptions for fun lolol

best quote: “cooking is art itself. it's something that shines more brightly as you hone it. from now on, i’ll show you all a marvelous world.” even as a child she’s more eloquent than me OTL

head canon: once helped out a yakuza solve a misunderstanding w a foreigner via translation skills and now an extremely esteemed yakuza family owes her a debt.

Ryoko:

do I like them: hoy shit YA...ryoko is like. ideal girlfriend.

5 good qualities:1) patient. so goddamn patient. her cooking speciality requires the Utmost Patience and she handles it really well for a 16/17 yo?? incredible2) her hair is so smooth....so pretty...3) levelheaded, the one everyone goes to for advice probs4) hides daggers beneath her smile and GOD I LIVE FOR THIS...underestimate her and youre in for a world of Pain5) helps !! everyone !! if she can she’ll reach out a helping hand how is she so good and pure

3 bad qualities:1) feels like the kinda person to keep things to try to solve everything by herself :((2) not enough screentime (major problem)3) idk tbqh ryoko is pretty neat

favourite episode/etc: when she was preparing the natto for AE arc !! 

otp: i....really like ryoko/yuki but i also like ryoko/ibusaki....

brotp: ryoko/marui !!! i bet they have neat intellectual conversations about science and the best way to get ppl drunk

ot3 ot4: ryoko/ibusaki/marui/yuki you cant have one without the other !! :”)))

notp: ryoko/souma again, i dont see the appeal, plus i see ryoko as the older sister/mentor souma never had lol

best quote: o boy i cant rmb any rn....but all i know is ryoko is still great anyw so anything she says is Great

head canon: is a really good artist !!! can do realism and landscape pencil sketches really well, since she aspired to be an artist as a child. 

[vessuvius]

A REALLY LONG  CHARACTER  SURVEY.

RULES.  repost , don’t  reblog  ! tag  10  ! good  luck  ! TAGGED. no one but it looked fun ! TAGGING. @badmediicine​​, @xtrouble3​​, @orcmade​​, @nakaula​, @uncrownedrosa​, @shvrker​, @dfndr​, @bokudou​, @silentserenade, @sinememoriae​ , @poppicede​, @blithened, @toestalucia​ , @the-bloodied-rose !!

FULL NAME :  hisakawa naoki / linus macaslan.  NICKNAME :  linus, lin , nao  AGE :  appears 18-20 ( 125. ). due to his immortality he hasn’t aged past the state he was in at the time of his death.  BIRTHDAY : march twentieth  ETHNIC GROUP : japanese / european NATIONALITY : scottish LANGUAGE / S : japanese , scottish gaelic, spanish. SEXUAL ORIENTATION : pansexual ROMANTIC ORIENTATION : homoromantic. RELATIONSHIP STATUS : taken by the sweet ollie.  CLASS : upper middle class. his adoptive mother can afford his lifestyle, yet linus doesn’t like to spend a lot of money because he understands that that is something that should be earned.  HOME TOWN / AREA :  lochcarron, highlands. lived in a small home with his mother that had enough space to have a small garden and livestock. they dealt with mainly chickens.  CURRENT HOME : san francisco, california. lives in the middle of the city in a studio apartment on top of a bakery.  PROFESSION :  unemployed. student at a local community college

PHYSICAL.

HAIR : brown hair that is currently long enough that when he towel dries it he can produce a slight wave / curl  EYES : monolidded and downturned, big brown puppy-like eyes.  FACE : oval - shapped.  LIPS : big and pouty, naturally have a pink / red tint to them that he typically enhances with lip tint.  COMPLEXION : his skin is a medium / olive tone. he doesn’t tan easily. has frckles across the bridge of his nose and his cheekbone area BLEMISHES : fading acne scars on the sides of his lower jaw, usually hidden with light makeup. SCARS :  has scars on his wrists, forearms, upper arms, knees.  TATTOOS : — HEIGHT : six feet three inches with his slight slouch, he is trying to work on his posture which would only put him vaguely above that height. WEIGHT :  approximately two hundred ten pounds BUILD : vaguely muscular due to said gym habits, but still has a softness to him that would better describe him to be thick. his muscles aren’t overly defined, but in all he is a larger type of person. FEATURES : thick eyebrows. strong arms. nice ass.  ALLERGIES : none that he knows of.  USUAL HAIR STYLE : messy hair that looks similar to bedhead, though he swears he at least ran his fingers through it.  USUAL FACE LOOK : placid, nonreactive.  USUAL CLOTHING : jeans with the hems rolled up, a comfortable t-shirt, socks and sandals. 

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR / S : the loss of a loved one, in all regards ; open water, anything larger than a nice bathtub.  ASPIRATION / S : to have his own skincare line; to be able to pay for his own home; to be able to provide for himself and another; to figure out his purpose.  POSITIVE TRAITS :  amiable, appreciative, compassionate, easy-going, forgiving, idealistic, modest, reliable, self-sacrificing, soft-hearted, spiritual NEGATIVE TRAITS : absent-minded, gloomy, gullible, impractical, indecisive, passive, self-indulging, submissive, uncoordinated, weak ZODIAC : pisces.  they are characterized by empathy and expressed emotional capacity., and are more intuitive than others and have an artistic talent.  they are also known to be most tolerant of all the zodiac signs.  TEMPERAMENT : melancholic. melancholic people often were perceived as very (or overly) pondering and considerate, getting rather worried when they could not be on time for events.  SOUL TYPE / S :  caregiver:  you have tendency to put others’ needs ahead of your own. this trait makes it essential that you go out of your way to take care of yourself as well as those around you. you are loyal to the extreme, and you guard those who are entrusted to your care with your life. your empathy allows you to understand nonverbal emotional signals. it is common for caregiver types to intuitively know what someone needs at any given time. VICE HABIT / S :  forgetting to take off your makeup before bed, biting your lip, overspending (excessively), avoiding eye contact, rambling VIRTUES / VICES: benevolence, compassion,  tolerance / meekness, doubt ,complacency. FAITH : he himself is of an unnamed faith, though as sage is a practicing wiccan he has found himself a tentative member of that faith and is trying to learn more about it before claiming himself to be such.  individually, he believes in something akin to karma and is well aware of a cosmic presence he refers to as ‘ the universe ‘ . GHOSTS ? : yes. he spent a long time as someone who was in the ‘ in between ‘ phase, and because of that he knows that it truly is a place reserved for those with unfinished business AFTERLIFE ? : yes. as someone who has lost a lot of people he hopes that they have found peace in some past life. REINCARNATION ? : yes. ALIENS ? : why not. he believes in most otherworldly entities so a different type of being from what he is used to isn't much of a stretch. POLITICAL ALIGNMENT : — EDUCATION LEVEL : was homeschooled. now attends community college classes to begin to study chemical engineering. 

FAMILY.

FATHER :  duncan macaslan, son of a whiskey maker.  MOTHER : hisakawa yoshiko, daughter of a businessman / sage de leon, daughter of a businessman.  SIBLINGS :  none.  EXTENDED FAMILY :  adoptive uncles / aunts:  NAME MEANING / S :  in mythology, linus is the name of two of apollo’s sons. linus of thrace was the personification of a lamentation and wrote poetry and apocryphal works; linus of argos was raised by shepherds and killed upon reaching adulthood. macaslan is derived from a word which translates to “my father is peace”.  HISTORICAL CONNECTION ? : none. 

FAVORITES.

BOOK :  flowers for algernon MOVIE :  ponyo ! 5 SONGS :  rachel’s lullaby by dandelion hands; studio 6 by matt maltese; its ok by i like you; picture frames by rei brown, holding yr hand by atlas and yung bae HOLIDAY : valentine’s day MONTH : february SEASON : spring PLACE : a hole in a forest clearing WEATHER : just after the rain SOUND : rain SCENT / S : vanilla TASTE / S : sweet , creamy, FEEL / S : soft , silky ANIMAL / S :  dogs NUMBER : infinity COLORS : peaches , pinks , red glows , whites

EXTRA.

TALENTS :  comforting others, applying winged eyeliner on himself and others, curating different scents, doing multiplication in his head, finding good deals BAD AT : communicating his thoughts / desires / needs,  TURN ONS :   leadership, being bold,  TURN OFFS :  meekness HOBBIES :  is very interested in skincare & taking care of himself in that regard is  TROPES : deity of human origin, disabled deity, god in human form , our angels are different, psychic powers, cuteness proximity, abstract apotheosis , experienced protagonist , an astral projection not a ghost  AESTHETIC TAGS : indie / love / sunshine  GPOY QUOTES :  ❝ what is a ghost? something dead that seems to be alive. something dead that doesn’t know its dead. ❞  / ❝ i don’t make promises i can’t keep - which is why i wont make promises ever. ❞     

FC INFO.

MAIN FC / S : mafuyu from given.  ALT FC / S : any similar male by kizu natsuki  OLDER FC / S : — YOUNGER FC / S : — VOICE CLAIM / S : — GENDERBENT  FC / S : — i dont believe in ‘ genderbending ‘ 

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1 :   if  you  could  write  your  character  your  way  in  their  own  movie ,   what  would  it  be  called ,  what  style  would  it  be  filmed  in ,  and  what  would  it  be  about ?          

A1 :  it would be called ‘ a life after death ‘ and be a simple indie - esque film. the kind of movie that you can tell didn’t have the biggest budget, was probably filmed in the same stile as a youtube vlog, but they did there best with it and created an interesting little story that was filled with warmth because of the interactions between the few characters. it wouldn’t be anything fancy, maybe a short film about him going about his day and beginning to fall in love. 

Q2 :   what  would  their  soundtrack / score  sound  like ?          

A2 : his soundtrack would be like something made by idealism. soothing beats, a bit of a piano melody, and overlayed with the sound of rainfall.

Q3 :   why  did  you  start  writing  this  character ?         

A3 :  i started writing this character april 2017. he’s one of my newest oc’s really and i’m surprised ive come this far development wise with him ( and i hope that i continue to do as well as i have thus far )

Q4 :   what  first  attracted  you  to  this  character ?          

A4 :  lin was born from the quote ‘ i’m a ghost in training and my heart is waning ‘ 

Q5 :   describe  the  biggest  thing  you  dislike  about  your  muse.          

A5 : i hate that he’s so soft. i have a love hate relationship with that trait of his because i think its great that after what he has been through he can still be kindhearted and a geniuinely nice soul, but i also think that it makes him extremely passive and spineless. 

Q6 :   what  do  you  have  in  common  with  your  muse ?          

A6 :  we both wear socks and sandals. its actually something i took up after thinking thats what lin would do.

Q7 :   how  does  your  muse  feel  about  you ?          

A7 : i would like to think that we would be friends. he would think that i need to relax more. 

Q8 :   what  characters  does  your  muse  have  interesting  interactions  with ?        

A8 : he has intering interactions with characters who are strong willed and extroverted. they bring out a side of him that wants to be vocal about what he wants. 

Q9 :   what  gives  you  inspiration ��to  write  your  muse ?         

A9 :  listening to lo-fi music / chill hop. lin is a mellow character and i relate him to those kinds of easy beats. 

Q10 :   how  long  did  this  take  you  to  complete ?          

A10 :  forever.