#if anyone ever wants me to talk about ren and stimpy again Please ask me to talk about the split between spumco and nickelodeon.....

[lifeduringwar-time]

PLEASE talk more about ren & stimpy if you’d like to!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH It genuinely means a lot. Where do i even begin

american animation had been in like a complete dark age (save for a few bright moments) from like the late 60s through most of da 80s. at least in television: i don’t think there’s a lot of ways to create a great animated tv show bc the production process is so rigid and asks for boatloads of content to be released one after the other after the other. artists had to take a lot of shortcuts to keep up with the strict deadlines that were inherent to the very medium they were working in, and i think it rlly did a number on the quality of american animation. combine this w the fact that by the 80s Every tv cartoon was just an advertisement for a toy + animation had garnered a reputation of being for kids, and it rlly did look like the future of television animation was just dead

But then…… mighty mouse the new adventures 😼 created by THE ralph bakshi who made the first adult american animated film (fritz the cat is like a #1 favorite film of mine I love it to bits 😁), and was supported by a shitload of younger animators who had enough of working in what they saw as a hopeless medium. they let a lot of their anger and frustration out through the show, and they all kinda bonded through their shared cynicism and boredom lol. 3 of them, including the senior director of the show Who was also like. kinda bakshi’s protege (john k), decided to form their own studio, and the studio hereby declared as spümcø formed a couple years later through the addition of a final 4th co-founder

so like a little while after spümcø was created, a small company known as nickelodeon was looking for animators to create their own original cartoons. Some of the higher-ups at nick wanted to reach out to a large younger audience, and they noticed the manufactured state of television animation and thought that it was terrible entertainment for these potential viewers. nick held meetings with a lot of aspiring creators, and spümcø was one of the last of them: they got lucky as all hell, and before they knew they had one of the 1st nicktoons on their hands

Why did i tell you all this lol???? bc ren and stimpy was very much a product of its time And i think that made it so timeless: the anger and cynicism that essentially created the studio absolutely bled over to r+s and it absolutely shows. the creators have gone out of their way to clarify that its a show for kids bc of how controversial its content was, but i really dont think that was the case And i mean that in the best way possible. it was more a show for them: they got a chance to make the cartoons they had been waiting their whole careers to make, and they took it. the look of the show wears its inspirations on its sleeve, harkening back to early hanna-barbera tv shows and bob clampett’s warner brothers cartoons that the animators had grown up on (which is actually another reason why i think the show is cool… They purposefully avoided the artistic shortcuts i mentioned earlier!! This method definitely had its faults but it created a really beautiful looking show that appreciated that it was animated ya know); there were jokes and pop culture references, but they were in the form of non-sequiturs to old kirk douglas movies and burl ives songs that no 10 year-old was ever gonna understand; there were real emotions on display, but they werent overly syrupy happiness and the like, there was like genuine discomfort and horror at times. Im not fucking joking Heres a quote i found that sums up what i wanna say here its from an eric andre interview of all places

(side note i first learned abt ren and stimpy because john k’s in the new year’s eve spooktacular. Small world)

this weird ass show came from a place of pure anarchy. It was very much a reaction to all the ways television animation had been wronged in the past, but it created this edgy and counterculturist show that helped bring life back to a medium previously considered dead, and it opened the gateway to countless other shows like it. for example, ren and stimpy also aired on mtv (which is so weird to think about. A nicktoon was on mtv) and the shows success was a reason why the channel agreed to produce mike judge’s short “frog baseball” into a full series, which obviously became beavis and butt-head. And without beavis and butt-head we wouldnt have like the past 30 years of adult animated television so there ya go

but also like! going back to that eric andre quote, that style of uncomfortable comedy mustve influenced a lot of modern comedies, at the very least because r+s helped make that style more mainstream. not to mention the shows gross-out humor, which was seen as sooooo controversial back in the day

I think im gonna stop here bc this is already long as is But this is only scraping the top of the barrel imo this show is so so crazy. its literally shaped the past 30 years of american pop culture imo but i feel like bc its a nicktoon nobody ever really acknowledges it, hopefully this like changes your mind idk I hope my ramblings make a semblance of sense

Anyways heres a quote about john k keeping horse teeth under his pillow as a kid

[multibug]

i'm out of my head and i know that you're scared (because hearts get broken)

chapters: 19/? (chapter one is a prelude from my love square fluff series and is included) words: 51,441 relationships: adrien agreste/marinette dupain-cheng, alya cesaire/nino lahiffe   tags: Alternate Universe - No Kwamis, Chatting & Messaging, Long-Distance Friendship, Identity Reveal, Slow Burn, Influencers, Aged-Up Character(s), Human Kwamis, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Lila Shakes Things Up summary: ren from ren and stimpy: think its the opposite u furry lookin ass

right chat: Rena, nooo!!

ren from ren and stimpy: rena yes

or, Adrien is a streamer on top of his modeling job, with the help of his long-distance friends Ladybug, Carapace, and Rena Rouge. Shenanigans ensue, and the masks they’ve hidden behind for years begins to break.

“You’re telling me that some bitch—”

Nino sputters out a mildly horrified laugh. “Alya!”

A strand of hair is tucked behind her ear by said snapback-clad boy and she huffs loudly. “What, Nino? It’s not as if I’m wrong. As I was saying before you rudely interrupted me, she stole my identity?!”

A strand of hair is tucked behind her ear by said snapback-clad boy and she huffs loudly. “What, Nino? It’s not as if I’m wrong. As I was saying before you rudely interrupted me, she stole my identity?!”

“Yeah, we only realized she wasn’t you when the two of you returned from your trip and messaged us,” Adrien supplies helplessly, shifting to tuck a leg under him. 

Alya gives both him and Marinette the stink eye, though Adrien’s sure it’s just a test if he knows her well enough. “How could you ever think someone like that was me?” 

“To be fair, Als,” Marinette starts off, voice gentle as she scooches closer to Adrien to lean against his arm. “We didn’t really get to talk to her. I tried messaging her on Discord and on Twitch, but she kept claiming she was busy anytime I reached out. I figured you were just upset over the breakup originally and needed your space, you know? I didn’t want to push it.” 

The redhead’s harsh exterior fades, and they’re left with a sad one instead. “Yeah, it’s just bizarre that she’d even want my account? Is she that obsessed with sunshine over here?” 

“Hey! Don’t say that.” Adrien’s cheeks flush a deep shade of red, which has Marinette pinching them. He grabs her hands and huffs. “Hey to you too!” 

Marinette’s laughter is contagious. “Hey, what’s up?” 

Alya raises an eyebrow in Marinette’s direction and leans in to whisper into her ear. Whatever Alya says has Marinette’s cheeks burning a bright shade of pink that travels to her neck and parts of her shoulders. She quickly removes her hands from Adrien’s, yet stays tucked against his side.

Both of them blinking over in Adrien’s direction has him believing it had something to do with him. 

“Whatever the case may be,” Adrien begins, flicking his hair out of his eyes. He’s not thinking about those last few seconds. Nope. “We need to be smart about this, Ren—Alya. She has your account right now and has all of our subscribers like putty in her hands.” 

“Adrien’s right. If we go about this the wrong way, they might think we’re lying, and we do not want for that to happen,” Nino chimes in, resting a reassuring hand on Alya’s shoulder as she begins to close in on herself. 

“It’s weird seeing you be reasonable,” Marinette comments idly, her hair splaying out over Adrien’s arm and shoulder. 

Nino hums. “Only when it’s needed.” 

“That’s a good way to live.” 

“Yeah, I try.” Nino flips his non-existent long hair over his shoulder. 

“So what do we do?” Alya’s voice is soft, nowhere near as confident as the girl they know. 

Marinette sends her a reassuring smile. “Max is working on getting the account back as we speak. Going through the conventional means won’t work, but if anyone can do it, it’s Max.”

“He said he’d call once he has the account back, so instead of sitting around all day like plebs, I’ve planned us a little adventure.” Nino’s lips curve into a smirk that excites Adrien. “Get dressed, lads and ladettes. We’ve places to be, things to see!” 

“Do you have any idea what he’s got planned?” Marinette asks both Adrien and Alya as Nino disappears into the guest room to supposedly finish getting ready. 

A light breeze travels in through the screen door of the balcony. It’s chillier than it’s been the last few days, though not nearly as cold as Paris is during this time of year. Birds still flock regularly on Marinette’s balcony, a few residing today with the leftovers of what she’d given them earlier. 

Adrien loves it here. 

(Marinette definitely isn’t the main reason, no. He wouldn’t admit it to himself if he was paid to.) 

“No idea,” Alya replies with a shrug, a far-off look in her eye. “I’m going to go get dressed.” As soon as the look had appeared, it vanished, and she follows Nino to change. 

“We have to keep an eye on her,” Marinette whispers, a bit too close to constitute a reasonable amount of personal space, but Adrien isn’t complaining. “I don’t like seeing her like this.” 

His heart warms at how caring she is. “You’re too nice, Bug. She’ll be okay, but we’ll be there for her if she needs us, okay?” 

He hopes his reassurance is enough to quell her worries. 

It does seem to be enough, and a huge smile breaks out on her face. “Thanks, Adrien. You’re the best.” She leaves him with a quick, slightly wet kiss on the cheek and scurries out of the room with a giggle, much to Adrien’s amusement. 

He raises his eyebrows with a smirk, shaking his head fondly. If that’s how she wants to play, then so be it. 

Game on.

— — — 

PANINI: gamers im taking the ladies out today if you guys want to come, let me know and i’ll dm you the details

Banana head: NINO, YOU IDIOT. I’M NOT A LADY. Who changed my name? I will end you.

chlo: rmbr u rmbr right?

Banana head: Chlo, I swear to all that is holy. Don’t tell that story. 

chlo: how much?

RENegade: is sHE ASKING FOR SEX???

marimba: SEX???????? wheRE?????

chlo: GOD NO I’M A LESBIAN WHAT THE FUCK

Kagami: Lesbian, huh? ;) 

chlo: kagami stfu is2g

Kagami: ;)

chlo: ANYWAYS how much money, adri

Banana head: You want another Louis Vuitton bag, don’t you?

chlo: IT’S THE NEWEST OF THE SEASON AND THEY WON’T LET ME HAVE IT

Banana head: Sigh. I’ll see what I can do. 

chlo: thanks bitch! you’re the bomb bomb dot com bomb diggity someone take away my phone

Alix: hey, @Carapace, what time are you guys going out? rose, juleka and i are about to see a movie but if it’s after that, we can meet up

PANINI: we were gonna head out before the rain hit so in like five minutes

Juls: drat we can just hang out another time then :( have fun guys!!!!

marimba: YOU TOO JULES I LOVE YOU BITCH

Juls: I AIN’T EVER GON STOP LOVING YOU

Alix: BITCH

Banana head: Best meme. 10/10. 

luka: how can you say that when the chicken nuggets meme exists

marimba: I ONLY HAVE 69 CENTS!! GOOD MEME!!!!!! 

luka: see even marinette knows

marimba: haha it has 69 in it haha haha ha 

Banana head: You’re such a child!!!! 

marimba: COMING FROM THE MAN WITH THE NAME BANANA HEAD WHERE’S CHLOE I’LL GET HER THE LOUIS VUITTON BAG IF IT MEANS HER TELLING THE STORY

Banana head: I’M KIDDING. I’M KIDDING!!!!

marimba: that’s what i thought :) 

PANIN(o)I: y’all better be ready we leaving now let’s GO 

RENegade: I’M COMING BITCH CHILLLLL

marimba: wITHOUT ME????

Adrien’s been ready for a bit, but he doesn’t mind waiting. 

He decided on wearing a pair of black jeans instead of shorts, just in case it rains while they’re out, and a black sweater with a thick jean jacket. His hair is a dark brown shade, still lightening at a slow rate, though he doesn’t mind it much at this shade. 

He wouldn’t dye it again to match, but he’ll let it fade as he’s enjoying the brunet life.

Marinette’s bedroom door squeaks open and she appears through the door, dressed and ready to go. 

And wow. No one should look that good, and she pulls it off so easily. 

Her bangs frame her face like curtains, her hair just past shoulder length from being straightened. Her bright blue eyes blink amusedly at him, lips arching into a smile.

The only makeup he spots is on her lips, a lip gloss that makes her lips look super kissable. “Problem, Agreste?” 

Laughter bubbles out of his lips, and he averts his eyes. “None, Dupain-Cheng. Just admiring your beauty, is all.” Lying won’t help his cause, so he might as well be honest. 

She rolls her eyes, hard enough to hurt, yet her cheeks give her away. “Sure, whatever you say!” 

His eyes flash over her attire. While she’s not dressed up by any means, the outfit she chose suits her so well. 

Wait. Is she trying to kill him?

With the impending rain and whether they’ll end up caught in the crossfire, she’s chosen a black baggy sweater, denim jeans with large holes around the knees with fishnet stockings underneath, and black old-skool vans. 

And to top it off, she’s wearing his merch. His Chat Noir sweater that’s completely black, with white lettering in the center that says, “I’m the Chat’s meow”. He hadn’t noticed at first, been too preoccupied with, er, other things—her lips—and he’d lie if he said his face didn’t get slightly hot at seeing her in person in his merch. 

“I thought you only bought the sweatpants, Bug?” He asks offhandedly, eyes averting from her for a second time. 

(He has no idea the nickname brings another bout of red to her cheeks.)

“Shut up or I will take it off right now—” 

“Oh, please d—”

She’s in front of him in a second, her hand firmly covering his mouth with a menacing look in her eyes. “Adrien Agreste, if you continue with that sentence, I will murder you and I won’t tell anyone where I hid your body—”

Adrien bursts out laughing the best he can, and it sounds so bizarre with her hand muffling it. His own hand finds her wrist and wraps around it, gently prying it away from his face. “Bug, please, you’re going to kill me!”

“You’re not wrong about that,” she affirms with her eyes narrowed. She allows him to keep hold of her wrist.

“I was kidding,” he murmurs, eyes locking with hers as he brings her wrist to his lips and presses a light kiss to her skin. With how close she is, he can feel her breath hitch, so he sends her his best smile. “I would never want to make you uncomfortable.” 

Marinette’s head tilts to the side, face softening. Her free hand finds his cheeks and she squeezes them gently. “You’ve never made me uncomfortable before, and you haven’t now. I was kidding as well.” 

His eyes brighten. “Oh, so that means you—”

“You’re absolutely hopeless!” Her forehead drops to his shoulder as she whines loudly. 

“There, there,” he says, hand wrapping around her to pat her back. “You’ll be okay, Bug, don’t worry. I’ve got you.” 

She’s warm, so warm against him that his jacket feels stifling, and he tugs her closer, enjoying—savoring this moment with her. He doesn’t have many days left in Nice, and he wants to cherish every second he can. 

There goes his heart again, pitter-pattering away, following hers like a lost puppy. 

If only she knew.

[itwasntahug]

You Dug This Grave Yourself, Sweetie

Peter Parker x Stark!Reader Word Count: 2230 Summary: The basic plot of Tony Stark’s daughter gettin’ together with Spider-Man behind his back, that I just can’t get enough of… Warning: Ya girl didn't edit this (Please forgive me, I promise I'll edit the next one)

“You know you’re a deadman, right?” Bucky smirked knowingly, plopping onto the couch beside Peter, a bowl of cereal in his hand.

Not entirely sure what was happening, Peter slumped into the couch, cautiously; “A-and why’s that?” He asked, trying, and not succeeding, to keep his cool. Unknowingly, his brows furrowed, and his eyes puppy-dogged.

Peter had been watching some TV in the Tower, waiting for you to return home from drama club. But he was telling everyone he was hanging around until Tony needed him.

“Well,” Bucky sighed, taking a spoonful of his snack, “Natasha saw you and Lil’ Miss Stark getting cozy on the couch the other day,” he explained cockily, “You guys… You know,” he waved his hand as he gathered his thoughts, “Together?”

Immediately, Peter shook his head, “What?” He laughed awkwardly, “N-no! Of course not; Mr. Stark gave me direct orders not to do that—“

The door swung open and Nat walked in before Peter could finish his ramble. She eyed the TV before eyeing the pair on the couch; “Ren and Stimpy, guys? Really?”

Her gaze was met with two blank stares, and she unknowingly furrowed her brows. “What?” She asked, cocking her head.

“Nothing,” Peter said quickly, “We weren’t talking about anything.”

Bucky smirked, raising his eyebrows. “Well I wouldn’t say it was nothing,” he shrugged his shoulders, “I was just asking Pete if he had anything goin’ on with Y/N. He says nothing’s happening,” he grinned, knowingly.

Natasha rolled her eyes, “And where’d you hear that from?” She asked, almost annoyed. Peter watched the interaction completely nervous, having no idea the word would get out about him and Y/N so quickly. He wasn’t particularly skilled when it came to lying, and hadn’t a clue where to go from here.

Bucky shrugged, taking another bite, “Steve told me.”

Nat sighed, slouching into the couch, “You know,” she began, “for a guy with so much integrity, you’d think he’d be able to keep his mouth shut.”

Peter slinked into his seat as Natasha turned her attention on him. “So,” she continued, getting visibly happier, “It’s true then?”

Peter shook his head, gently, his eyes wide like a deer’s.

Natasha chuckled, “You’re kidding,” she shook her head smiling, “You’ve sweat out like two pounds since I’ve entered the room.”

As soon as Peter opened his mouth to refute her, the door swung open again, and you walked in, you backpack in hand. Throwing it onto the ground beside the door, you made your way to the three in the living room.

“Ren and Stimpy?” You asked, cocking your head to the side, “Tough week?” You asked sympathetically, looking at Bucky.

Bucky shook his head, “Not me,” he shook his head, smiling, “Your little boyfriend’s choice,” he said, gesturing to Peter with his spoon.

Your eyes widened immediately, making Bucky smirk, and Natasha grin. “What?” You asked, “How did you know?” You eyes shot to Peter, who looked even more nervous than he did when he first asked you out. “Peter,” you all but growled.

His hands shot up in surrender, “It wasn’t me!” He exclaimed quickly, “I didn’t tell anyone!”

“Then who told!” You cried, flopping onto the couch.

Natasha smirked before shrugging her shoulders, “I noticed you two getting all cuddly on the couch the other night,” she explained nonchalantly, “But I only told Bruce.”

“And Bruce told Steve,” Bucky continued for Natasha, “And Steve told me, and now I told you. It all came full circle,” he grinned annoyingly.

You sighed and crossed your arms, “So my dad doesn’t know?” You asked, hopefully.

Natasha shrugged, grabbing for the remote, “If he doesn’t know by now, he will soon,” she said, “He’s a pretty smart guy. And apparently the team has some pretty big mouths.”

Peter finally spoke up, “But neither of you will tell him?” He asked, earning a chuckle from Bucky.

“We’ll see what happens,” he grinned, “The place has been pretty quiet recently, we need something to keep us entertained.”

Natasha threw a pillow from the chair at him, “They’re just kids, let them live,” she chastised, before turning her attention back to you. “If you don’t want Tony to know, then I won’t tell him. And neither will Bucky.”

***

About a week had gone by since the incident in the living room. However, despite the knowing looks and off handed comments made by the gang that you deemed incredibly obvious, your father was still in the dark about you and Peter.

The first few days you two kept your distance: you kept yourself busy with school, projects, and drama club, while Peter kept busy thinking of new ways to keep busy. He wasn’t very good at it.

After dinner one evening, while you were running lines over for a play you still had weeks to prepare for, a knock came to your window.

Sighing, you stood; only one person would ever knock on your window instead of your door.

Swinging back your curtain, and raising your eyebrows, you flung the window open, sending a beep throughout your room. “It’d be a lot more inconspicuous if you used the door, Pete,” you sighed quietly, ushering him into your bedroom.

“I know, I know,” he breathed heavily as he climbed inside. He was full Spider-Man, suit and all. Taking off his mask, he grinned sideways, “But I’ve been helping old women cross the street, and scouting for civilians in need of help for like ninety minutes, and got bored.”

You sat back down onto your bed, but before you could speak, your father did.

“I heard the beep,” he said through the intercom, “Are you okay, Y/N?” You ears perked up, and you quickly replied, hitting the button beside your bed.

“Fine, dad,” you said hurriedly, “I just opened the window, I was kind of hot,” you answered, digging your teeth into your bottom lip as Peter joined you, sitting on the corner of your bed.

There was a pause before his reply came. “… Why didn’t you turn the air-con up?” He asked, cautiously.

You rolled your eyes as Peter looked at you, blinking nervously. “I don’t know, Dad, I just wanted the window open. Is that okay? It’s just a window.”

You head him sigh, “Sure,” he replied shortly, “Shut it before you go to sleep though, you know how I worry.”

Grinning gently, you replied, “Of course, dad.”

“Goodnight, Sweetie.”

“‘Night, Dad.”

Peter looked at you, his face still giving away just how worried he was. “That was close,” he stated, his breathing still heavy.

You rolled your eyes, “Barely,” you replied, “He was just saying goodnight,” you said, unable to keep back your grin, “You gotta calm down, Pete.” Leaning on your knees, you pressed a gentle kiss onto his lips, smiling as you did.

He was hesitant to return it, but kissed your forehead instead; “‘You know how I worry,’” he said, doing his best Tony Stark impression, “Y/N, he’s going to kill me!” He whisper-yelled, his eyes growing wide.

You shook your head and furrowed your brows, “He would never,” you refuted him, sitting back against your headboard, “And if you were so worried, why did you come over?” You asked him, knowingly, raising your eyebrows.

“Because I missed you!” He exclaimed, throwing up his arms, “We’ve barely seen each other all week, and every time we are together, Bucky and Steve are around and they never stopped teasing me! And more teasing than usual, too! This sucks.”

Raising your eyebrows, you replied, “Would you rather tell my father?” You asked, “Well would you?”

Peter sighed, throwing his mask on your bed side table, and moving up to sit beside you. “I just miss you,” he groaned, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. Immediately, you slumped against him. “How angry do you think Mr. Stark would be if he figured out I stayed the night?” He asked petulantly, as he rested his cheek on the top of your head.

You grinned and shook your head, “He would go full momma-bear,” you answered with a sigh, looking up at him. Grabbing his hand that was resting on your shoulder, you began fiddling with his fingers, “When should we tell him?”

Peter sighed, “I don’t know…” He replied, “I think I should bulk up, first—“

Before Peter could finish his thought, the door swung open, and your father rushed in, his hand and forearm armed in his suit, and directed at the two of you.

Your eyes widened in surprise, and Peter was suddenly off of the bed and back by the window.

“I knew it!” Your dad yelled, angrily, “I knew I heard voices— You would never just ‘open the window,’ you hate bugs!”

You jumped to your feet, as Peter began attempting to cover his ass. “It’s not what it looks like Mr. Stark,” he began hurriedly, his cheeks a bright red, “I was just… We were just… Doing… Chemistry homework,” he finished poorly.

You rolled your eyes, but your dad hopped in before you could. “Is that right, Spidey,” he asked, terrifyingly calm, “Because that’s exactly what I would have guessed from the complete lack of textbooks and notebooks and pencils,” he yelled again, gaining the attention of Natasha and Steve who decided to join him at the door of your bedroom.

“They’re just kids, Stark,” Nat said, trying to push Tony’s armed hand down that was aimed directly at Peter. “They weren’t doing anything; it’s not even past her curfew,” she reasoned gently.

“Oh,” your father snarled in reply, as you and Peter shared a panicked look, “Are you the parent of either one of these children, Natasha? Because I don’t recall you helping raise either one of them—“

“Hey,” Steve butted in, “She was just making a point.”

Without saying another word, your father, keeping his aim on Peter, closed the door behind him, leaving both Steve and Natasha out of your room.

“How long?” He asked, looking at Peter. 

You sighed, walking up to your father, “Dad,” you sighed, “Stop that,” you said as you took of his suit. “You’re scaring him.”

Tony looked at you, incredulously, “That’s the point,” he explained, nearly out of patience. 

“Stop it,” you spat. “It’s only been a few months.”

“A few months?!” Your dad exclaimed, “A few months?!”

You shrugged your shoulders, “We were afraid to tell you!” You replied at the same volume as your father, “Because of this reason exactly!” You reasoned, gesturing to his entire person. “You’re freaking out, dad!”

Immediately, he calmed down, which somehow frightened you even more than when he was full momma-bear. “I’m cool,” he replied bitterly, “I’m cool. Just have a few questions, Parker,” he said through his teeth. “What intentions do you—“

“Dad!” You exclaimed, exasperated.

He sighed, “Fine, fine,” he said, putting up his hands in surrender. “I’m reasonable,” he said, mostly to himself, “I am an adult. I can handle my emotions,” he sighed, closing his eyes, as you shared another moment of panic with Peter.

“Listen,” Tony continued, “This is definitely… a surprise,” he shrugged, “He’s not the worst,” he said gesturing vaguely to Peter, while looking at you.

“Thank you Mr. Stark,” Peter replied hurriedly.

“I wasn’t done,” Tony cut him off, before calming back down. “I know you can handle yourself, Y/N,” he said, turning his attention to you. “And I know you can make your own decisions. But if he ever does anything wrong, I want you to tell me. And if I ever see him do anything wrong, don’t think I won’t bring it up to the both of you, understood?”

You nodded your head, “Yes, dad,” you replied, simultaneous with Peter’s, “Yes, Mr. Stark.”

Tony nodded his head in understanding, “Now with that being said,” he continued, “I’ll bring your attention back to the contract you signed when you were nine years old,” he said, “The itemized list of 32 ‘When I get a Boyfriend’ Rules.”

You rolled your eyes, groaning as you flopped down on your bed.

“What?” He asked, shrugging his shoulders, “Yeah, it was seven years ago, but if you recall, number 32 reads, ‘Even though this is nine year old Y/N signing this contract, it applies to Y/N’s of all ages. You dug this grave yourself, Sweetie,” your father said sassily.

You sighed, raising your eyebrows, which was apparently all that Tony needed.

He raised both of his hands in surrender; “Fine,” he sighed, “I’ll make some revisions. But I’ll tell you what’s not leaving that contract, Spidey,” he said turning his attention back to the very nervous Peter Parker who was still standing at your window. “No sneaking in through windows, no closed bedroom doors, and no bedroom visits at any time after dinner. All of which are being broken right now,” your dad continued, borderline threateningly.

Shooting your father the finger guns, Peter grinned nervously, “Of course Mr. Stark, I’ll be going then… Uh, I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N,” he blushed, “And I’ll text you when I get home… Um, goodnight Mr. Stark… G’night, Y/N,” he smiled, as he grabbed his mask and head back out of your window. “And may I just add,” he said, before closing the window, “This went far better than expected—“

“You may not,” Tony replied, “Get out of here, Parker, before I have you forcefully removed.”

“Got it,” Peter said quickly, shutting the window, and waving goodbye to you before really leaving.

Your dad sighed, as he sat on the corner of your bed, and you climbed under the covers. “Really,” Tony sighed, “That’s the guy you want?”

[nerdonymous-blog]

The Last Jedi Review: Before

“Before” is a list of things I’m hoping to see/hear in TLJ.  

“After” will be my reaction to the movie, based on the same list.

The Obvious Things

Good acting, cool effects, great John Williams score, etc.

Leia Using the Force

Ever since Luke said, “In time, you’ll learn to use [the Force], as I have,” in ROTJ…  

If she could mind-trick someone, or move something with the Force, that would be great.  If she could do both, that would be better.  And, if she could do more, maybe even kick a little ass, that would be best.

A Fitting End for Leia

I understand that Carrie Fisher’s role in TLJ has not been altered as a consequence of her untimely passing.  But, that doesn’t necessarily mean that Leia’s fate won’t be revealed in the film.  I think I would prefer that it not be…

But, if it isn’t, it will have to be explained in the crawl for IX, or…  

There doesn’t seem to be a good way of dealing with it, just a way that’s least objectionable, and what that is depends on who you ask…

Luke Skywalker Being Awesome

Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker is at least 90% of the reason I’m excited to see this film.  I’m hoping his character won’t be portrayed as TFA and the TLJ promotional materials have made him seem (sort of, maybe).  That is, Luke should not be less than noble and heroic…  Maybe “it’s time for the Jedi to end” doesn’t mean he thinks they ought to, but that they are destined to…?  And maybe he’s just pulling a Dagobah-Yoda on Rey – and us.

He’d better have a very good reason for hiding out on Ach-Too (bless you).  He got alotta ‘splaining to do!

(DO NOT kill Luke Skywalker!!!  DO NOT kill Luke Skywalker!!!  DO NOT kill Luke Skywalker!!!  DO NOT kill Luke Skywalker!!!  Thank you.)

Lightsabers and Jedi Action

I’d like to see both Rey and Luke fight multiple opponents.

Luke has to use his green saber from ROTJ.  And be awesome with it.

Rey is going to have to construct her own lightsaber – before the end of this Episode would be nice.  (Maybe Kylo Ren could take the Anakin one.)  I’d like to see Rey wield a double-bladed blue…

Character Depth/Detail

The new characters in TFA were underdeveloped.  Poe and Phasma, especially, were absolute non-characters.  I’m hoping they get a lot of help from TLJ.  

Establish a relationship between Rey and Poe.  Maybe plant the seeds of a future romance…?

I’d also like some justification for Finn’s specialness among Stormtrooper “recruits”: maybe Force-sensitivity, making him more compassionate than your average minion.  This would also retroactively help (somewhat) with the Finn-using-a-lightsaber-undermines-Jedi-awesomeness thing.  Either that, or don’t have Finn use a lightsaber again.

All Force Ghosts

Anakin, Yoda, Obi-Wan, and Qui-Gon.  Get ‘em all in there!

Minimize TFA Lameness

Smashing Kylo Ren’s pointless voice-changing-Vader-wannabe helmet is a good start.  And the sooner the better.  I would have preferred it just wasn’t in the movie at all.  (The strange thing is that Kylo dropped his helmet on that walkway over the ginormous Han-Solo-death-pit, where it would have fallen if the planet had got trembly – which it did.  And, when Hux went to pick him up, as the planet was breaking apart, did Kylo say, “Wait – I have to go get my pointless helmet…”, just so he could smash it in the next movie?  Doesn’t make a ton of sense.)

If they could refrain from mentioning Starkiller Base, that would be great.  I’m trying to pretend that it didn’t happen.

The TFA character names were/are lame; “Kylo” from sKYwalker and soLO, “Phasma” – a semi-anagrammatic syncope of Phantasm (‘cause she’s silvery, like that silvery death-ball), “Snoke” – an acronym for Sith No One Knew Existed…  Lazy, uninspired, and they just don’t sound right.  But, the worst is “Ren”.  I still can’t hear “Kylo Ren” or “Knights of Ren” without thinking of Ren and Stimpy.  So, if Snoke is a Sith, stop mystery-boxing everything, and just let him be a Sith.  “Darth” is cool.  “Ren” is lame.  Phase out “Snoke” and “Ren” as much as possible, and make ‘em Darths!  Please.  (Non-Sith dark-siders could be called by their proper names.)

As little talking to Vader’s helmet as possible.  

No more hey-remember-this-from-Star-Wars moments.

De-emphasize BB-8.  3PO and R2 were always meant to be the Saga’s droid duo.  (It’s not that I dislike BB-8, he’s just in the wrong movie.  He’s redundant.)

I’d love it if the First-Order-replacement-Empire-OT’s-impact-diluting crap would just go away, but I know that ain’t gonna happen.

Basically, TLJ should not suck beyond the extent to which it must necessarily suck for having continuity with TFA.

Acceptable Rehash-to-Newness Ratio

Walkers.  Jedi training on a remote planet.  The possibility that Canto Bight will be vaguely reminiscent of Cloud City.  The rumor that Rey is going to lose a hand/arm.  That’s more than enough.  That’s plenty.  The rest should be amazing newness…

I do get the impression that the plot of TLJ will be much more dissimilar to ESB than TFA was to ANH.  Fingers crossed…

Before TFA, I had hoped that the Sequel Trilogy would have its own identity (incl. design-wise), distinct from the OT, like the Prequels did…  TLJ seems to be taking some steps in the right direction, with new worlds, and creatures, and spaceships…  And the welcome inclusion of A-Wings, one of the fighters introduced most recently in the Saga’s chronology (along with B-Wings, and TIE Interceptors – both of which were awesome).

Rey Solo

If you’re about to tell me that “Rey Solo” has been debunked, please don’t.  I’ve already been told, and I don’t buy it.  When someone (especially J.J. Abrams) tells you something, and you just believe it, despite the fact that the person (J.J. Abrams) has every reason to lie, that’s not called “debunking”.  That’s called … “shame on me” (if you know what I’m saying).

People have pointed out all the problems with “Rey Solo” to me (timeline, abandonment, characters not recognizing her, etc.), conveniently ignoring the fact that the exact same kinds of problems apply to every theory about Rey’s parentage…  

The argument against “Rey Solo” is essentially this:  Despite the likelihood that “Rey” is not Rey’s real name, and that Han and Leia wouldn’t have seen her since she was a toddler, the idea that they wouldn’t recognize (or remember) their own daughter is implausible.

But, plausibility in Star Wars and plausibility in the real world are two very different things.  Star Wars is full of dishonest, manipulative space wizards with mind-affecting powers, remember?  Did it not seem to you like somebody must have Force-fiddled with Rey’s brain to keep her from leaving Jakku (gesund heit)…?  So, if Rey can have suppressed memories (and training), which she very, very obviously does, why can’t other characters?  

Here’s how easy it is to make sense of “Rey Solo”:  The Jedi, Luke and the Force ghosts, foresaw the threat of Snoke (Jedi can look into the future), which would imperil the new Jedi Order.  So, they made a plan that involved putting Ben Solo at risk of being killed, or consumed by the Dark Side.  And they decided to hide Ben’s (extremely powerful) younger sister – for her own protection, and to insure the future of the Jedi.  She was not simply abandoned, but purposefully isolated (maybe to keep her from forming attachments?).  Of course, there wouldn’t be any point in trying to protect Rey by suppressing her memories, and hiding her, if the other characters still remembered who, what, and where she was - because of that dark side memory extracting power we’ve seen Vader and Kylo use (presumably, Snoke has that power, too).  With the others’ memories of her intact, Rey would have been just as vulnerable as she would had they done nothing.  In fact, with her own memories (and training) suppressed, she’d be even more vulnerable…

If you find it hard to believe that they would’ve left a little girl all alone in the desert, with no one to look after her, I got two words:  Force ghosts.

I know that “Rey Solo” is pretty close to the least popular theory out there, and a lot of people think I’m an idiot for still believing, but I’ve never doubted that Rey is the daughter of Han and Leia.  Dramatically, it’s the only answer that makes sense.  That’s (one of the reasons) why it’s such a weak mystery…

If, in The Empire Strikes Back, they had revealed that Luke Skywalker had a sister, but made her identity a mystery, everyone’s first thought would’ve been that it’s Leia (because she was basically the only girl in Star Wars).  But, after a while, fans would’ve rejected the idea as being way too obvious to leave the audience in suspense for three years.  This would’ve been followed by ever-increasingly ridiculous speculation…

Essentially, this is what has been happening for the past two years.  I call it “The Mystery Box Paradox”:  The reason it isn’t obvious who Rey’s parents are is because it’s way too obvious who Rey’s parents are.  It’s a mystery … uh, box … that isn’t strong enough to keep the audience in suspense for two hours, let alone two years…  In fact, the mystery is so weak that you knew the answer before they even asked the question.

I’m not meaning to imply that I want the reveal to be a surprise.  I wouldn’t want Rey’s parents to be anyone other than Han and Leia.  And I’m way past ready for the mystery (box) to be over…  

The revelation of Rey’s parents is bound to be a disappointment to some.  But, I think it will be a relief to everyone – with the possible exception of J.J. Abrams.  

Kylo Ren is a Double-Agent

Not too long after I saw The Force Awakens, someone told me that Kylo Ren killing Han Solo reminded “us” of Snape killing Dumbledore … which meant nothing to me, because I didn’t know anything about Harry Potter.  He (or she) explained that Snape was portrayed as a villain … HP fans hated him for killing Dumbledore … then, it was revealed that things were not as they appeared, and Snape was a good guy all along…  

I had taken Kylo Ren at face value, because the lameness of his character seemed to be on a par with everything else in TFA.  But, the double-agent theory instantly made sense to me;  When Ren talks to Vader’s helmet, he’s really using it as a conduit to Anakin’s Force ghost (‘cause they’re in cahoots).  His line “I will finish what you started” really means destroying the Sith.  Kylo has to actually be dark side (as opposed to just faking it) because Snoke can sense his alignment.  Rey’s line “You’re afraid … that you will never be as strong as Darth Vader!” really/also means that Kylo fears that (by the time his mission is accomplished) he will not have the strength to turn back to the light, as Vader did.  Killing Han Solo was a rock-and-a-hard-place decision (the life of his father vs the fate of the galaxy).  And his loss to Rey, in the lightsaber duel, was not entirely due to Rey’s skill…

Since then, I’ve heard the double-agent theory from multiple sources, and it makes so much sense that I’m surprised it’s not more popular.  By “more popular” I mean “universally accepted”.

How exactly it’s going to be revealed, and how it’s all going to play out, I don’t know…  Seems to me, the way to do it would be: reveal Rey’s parentage first, and then after she attempts to avenge their father, reveal the Kylo Ren is a double-agent twist.  (I would absolutely love it if the reveal happened in combat, with Kylo suddenly turning on his “allies”, the Knights of Ren – Rey looking on, astonished.  That would be sweet!)  I mean, I don’t know if he actually is a double-agent, but I really, really, really hope he is, because it would mean that Abrams and Kasdan didn’t just rip off everything from the Original Trilogy – they also stole a little bit from Harry Potter.  And that’s a comforting thought, isn’t it?

Plus, if Kylo’s not a double-agent (or didn’t at least start out that way), then his character really is just the pathetic, Vader wannabe, tantrum-throwing, my-parents-didn’t-pay-enough-attention-to-me-so-I’m-gonna-destroy-the-universe whining, patricidal, irredeemable, and f*cking ridiculous talks-to-helmets nutjob douche bag that he appears to be, and the filmmakers are just (very badly) retreading the Skywalker-family-member-falls-to-the-dark-side-redemption-arc thing…

And they wouldn’t do that, would they?  That would be like doing a Death Star plot rehash, with some kind of Mel-Brooks-Spaceballs 2-reject – like a planet that swallows a star, and then spits it out at other planets.  How lame would that be, huh?

Han Solo Lives!

Not really, but I would like it if Han Solo could return as a Force ghost.  Not hanging out with the Jedi Force ghosts … but, maybe he could appear to Rey (or Luke/Leia), at some point.  Maybe his appearance could also be the reveal of Rey’s parentage…!

I know that non-Jedi don’t become Force ghosts, but the Jedi’s power has been evolving throughout the Saga, and lots of things that once were impossible have become possible…  

The evolution of Jedi power in Episodes I through VI is:  

Qui-Gon Jinn first discovered how to retain his identity in the Force – how to become (a kind of) immortal.  He taught Yoda and Obi-Wan, who learned how to become one with the Force at will – fade away, rather than leave behind a corpse, as Qui-Gon did…  

Yoda and Qui-Gon learned how to communicate with each other – how the living can talk to the dead.  Then, how the dead may talk to the living (as Obi-Wan started talking to Luke seconds after his own death), without the living requiring any training in how to talk to the dead (as Obi-Wan required training to talk to Qui-Gon).  And, how the dead may appear to the living, as Obi-Wan appeared to Luke as glowy blue Force energy in the form of the man he used to be…  

And finally, they discovered how to do something that I believe is the meaning of Obi-Wan’s line to Vader, “I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine”, and was revealed at the end of Return of the Jedi…  In order to retain your identity in the Force, you need to learn Qui-Gon’s immortality trick – that is, it doesn’t just happen automatically – you have to learn how…  

When Vader threw the Emperor down a shaft on Death Star 2 in ROTJ, his death was indicated by / followed by a tornado of glowy blue energy, which I take to be the Emperor’s Force energy being released / dispersed.  Meaning, the Emperor did not retain his identity in the Force.  It seems that being Dark Side and becoming immortal are mutually exclusive.  Regardless, whether there can’t be a Sith version of the immortality trick, or the Emperor just didn’t know one, it is extremely unlikely that Anakin would have known a Dark or Light Side version of the trick…  

And yet, after he dies, he shows up as a Force ghost.  As I see it, the inescapable conclusion is that the Jedi saved him from death.  They granted him immortality.  That’s some pretty heavy irony for Anakin: his former Jedi Masters saved him with the very power the desire for which he turned against them in the first place.  From a certain point of view.  The purpose of this evolution of Jedi power?  Happy ending.  Everyone gets to go to the Ewok party…  

If the Jedi are capable not only of becoming immortal themselves, but also of granting immortality to others … and they were keeping an eye on Ben Solo…

It’s possible.

Make Snoke a Worthy (Final/Arch) Nemesis

I should note that I’m proceeding from the assumption that the Sequel Trilogy will constitute the end of the Saga (but, who knows what Disney/Lucasfilm will do).

Snoke needs to be not only more powerful than Palpatine was, but very, very much more importantly, he needs to be powerful in a different way than Palpatine was.  Because if Snoke represents the very same threat that Palpatine did, and his defeat has/would have the very same significance that Palpatine’s did, then he’s redundant and pointless … and what we’re getting in the Sequel Trilogy is just more … with no added meaning.

I’ve heard rumors that give me some hope;  I’ve heard Snoke might be a sort of body snatcher (like Flemeth in Dragon Age, or an evil Time Lord), possessing and inhabiting successive hosts, making him virtually immortal.  I’ve also heard that TLJ may introduce a sort of Averroism: mortality of the soul.  (I’ve liked this idea for a long time.  Every time I think Hey, that would be cool in a movie! somebody puts it in a movie.  It’s really kind of frustrating.)  The idea is that Force ghosts can be “killed”.  But, this worries me slightly: which Force ghost are they/is Snoke going to kill?  I can’t think of one that would be okay with me.  Maybe a Force ghost “red shirt”…

While these rumors make me hopeful, these new powers would not necessarily address the problem…

The point is that if the story of the Saga goes Sith #1 (Palpatine) takes over the galaxy, and the good guys get rid of him, and then Sith #2 (Snoke) takes over the galaxy, and the good guys get rid of him, too, it doesn’t matter what kind of nifty new powers Sith #2 had, they still just did the same thing twice.

So, with the defeat of Snoke, something has to be achieved beyond what was achieved with the defeat of Palpatine.  And I’ll talk about what that is, below…

The Sequel Trilogy Made Integral to the Saga

These last two (this, and the above) are crucial, and will make or break the Sequel Trilogy, for me.  And, they are related to the evolution of Jedi power (mentioned above, in “Han Solo Lives!”).

In a nutshell, the problem is this: Episodes I through VI constitute a complete story – there was (seemingly) no need for Episodes VII, VIII, and IX.  So, the third trilogy must make itself necessary – it must make itself integral to, and inextricable from, the previous Episodes.  It can only do this by resolving what was (or could be seen as) left unresolved in the previous Episodes (I – VI), by achieving something beyond what was achieved at the end of ROTJ, and by giving the whole Saga a new and greater finality…  

At the end of Return of the Jedi, I think the audience assumed that the Republic would be restored, and the Jedi Order would be rebuilt … but these things did not need to be dramatized, because they were assumed, and obvious, and the conflict that was central to the story was over.  So, in the Sequel Trilogy, whether or not these things are considered necessary, they are certainly not sufficient.  (And it’s extremely doubtful that they will be [credibly] achieved by Saga’s end, anyway, as J.J. Abrams has taken us an irrecoverably giant step in the wrong direction.)  

In a sense, the introduction of Snoke, in this flying-by-the-seat-of-their-pants afterthought that is the Sequel Trilogy, has retconned the entire Saga.  From the time George Lucas completed his magnum opus in 2005, until it was decided to tack on another trilogy, the conclusion of the story was the fulfillment of the prophecy of the Chosen One: Anakin brought balance to the Force by destroying the Sith.  By introducing the Sith No One Knew Existed, in Episode VII, the ST could potentially make complete nonsense of Lucas’s six-part Saga…  

I’ve come across a lot of misinterpretation of the prophecy of the Chosen One, including that Anakin wasn’t really the Chosen One, and also that the prophecy was fulfilled somewhere between Episodes III and IV: that the eventual consequence of Anakin’s fall to the Dark Side was that the galaxy was left with two Jedi (Yoda and Obi-Wan), and two Sith (Sidious and Vader)…  

According to George Lucas (not sure how much this matters to people anymore), Anakin is the Chosen One, the prophecy is true, and was fulfilled (the Force brought into balance) at the end of ROTJ, when Vader destroyed the Sith (the Emperor and himself).  When, in the prequels, the Force was referred to as being “out of balance”, it was not because there were unequal numbers of Jedi and Sith – it was because there were Sith.  It is the existence of Sith/Dark Side Force users that creates the imbalance…

So, what kind of crap ancient prophecy says “The Chosen One will bring balance to the Force … for thirty years.  Then, the Force will just go right out of balance again.”  I’m kidding.  Sort of.  Episode VII has negated the fitting conclusion to the Saga’s central conflict (along with nearly everything that made ROTJ a happy ending, and the events of the OT meaningful).  This is a huge problem.  And simply blowing up yet another Death Star, and getting rid of yet another Sith Lord, doesn’t fix it.  In fact, it only compounds it…

There are things they could do to make the Sequel Trilogy seem as though it’s not extraneous, and feel less like an afterthought, by creating as many links as possible with the earlier Episodes;  Having “The First Order” refer to a directive from the Emperor (as in “Order 66”).  Revealing that Snoke is Darth Plagueis, and Anakin’s creator.  Rey being of the Skywalker line.  But, these sorts of things won’t fix the problem.  Even if the truth of the prophecy is maintained, and Anakin is the one who destroys Snoke, the ST is still redundant … like so many other Hollywood sequels.

As I see it, the only thing that could be seen as being left unresolved (from the central conflict of Episodes I – VI) is the persistent problem of the Dark Side: that there is always the possibility that Jedi can fall, that the Sith (or somesuch Dark Siders) can rise again, that history can and does repeat itself.  We could see the Jedi victory over the Sith, in Episode VI, as being temporary, and therefore incomplete.  So, the only way the ST can justify its existence, maintain the integrity of the Saga, and fix the problem is by having the Jedi achieve a victory over the Sith (or Light Side over Dark) that is permanent, that ensures that history can’t and won’t repeat itself.  And this would be the total fulfillment of the prophecy of the Chosen One.

So, if there can be no light without dark, how do you bring permanent balance to the Force?  Someone might think that the way is to get rid of the Sith and the Jedi – all Force sensitives – as in “it’s time for the Jedi to end”.  But, I see three problems with this solution;

1.  I don’t like it.

2.  If life can not exist without midi-chlorians, and midi-chlorians are what make people Force-sensitive, and the Force is created by all living things … the Force, and Force-sensitivity, are not going to just go away.  So, this is, again, a temporary solution.

3.  I don’t like it.

And, if the Dark Side is an eternal and necessary aspect of the Force, you can’t just get rid of that either…

Someone might think that the way is a sort of magical union of opposites, so there is no longer a Light Side and a Dark Side, but only the Force.  But, as I just pointed out, Force-sensitivity is not going to go away.  And if Force-sensitives can’t use the Force for anything that would formerly have been thought of as a Light Side action or a Dark Side action, what can they do with it?  Household chores?  Hooray for Gray…?  So, if a Force-sensitive can still use the Force for selfish or destructive ends, what exactly has been achieved?  Nonsense.  That’s what.

It is apparent that Force energy itself can become corrupted, as in the cave on Dagobah in The Empire Strikes Back, which was “strong with the Dark Side of the Force.  A domain of evil it is.”  How does Force energy become corrupted, and what is its effect/significance?  According to Obi-Wan, the Force “controls your actions”, but “it also obeys your commands”.  If this likewise applies to the Dark Side, using the Dark Side against the Light may corrupt Force energy (the “obeys your commands” part), and encountering corrupted energy may incite and/or exacerbate Dark Side tendencies (the “controls your actions” part)…  

So, the solution to the persistent problem of the Dark Side, the next evolution of Jedi power, may be (and really needs to be) an extension of what Anakin/Vader achieved in ROTJ: after falling to the Dark Side, he turned back to the Light – as far as I know, he’s the only guy who ever did that.  In terms of Jedi power: the ability to cleanse Force energy of Dark Side corruption…

This power could take different forms;  The ability to drain (and cleanse) Force energy from a Sith/Ren/Dark Sider to the point of loss of Force-sensitivity (ability to use/corrupt the Force), or even to the point of death;  The ability to convert a Dark Sider to the Light against his/her will;  And/or, the ultimate (most permanent) form – through the Force make it impossible for the Dark Side to be used – by anyone ever again.  I know it sounds a little crazy…  

I think that in order for this to play out in the right way, dramatically, means that Snoke has to be the living embodiment of the Dark Side – literally – the source of all Dark Side corruption, whose existence makes it possible for the Dark Side to be used at all…  

I have hope that this is how it’s going to go, because of that rumor that Force ghosts can be killed.  Clearly, the reason for introducing this idea would be to create tension in conflicts involving Force ghosts – specifically, Anakin vs Snoke.  This has to be the final battle (in Episode IX, of course), if the Sequel Trilogy is going to accomplish what it needs to accomplish…  

Anakin defeats Snoke, and Snoke ceases to exist.  From that time forward, the Dark Side remains balanced with the Light within every individual, and never again consumes a Force-sensitive, causing him or her to become “an agent of evil”.  And the Dark Side of the Force is never again used to harm so much as a single hair on an Ewok’s head.  Happily ever after.  The end.

OR

Episodes VII, VIII, and IX will become the Jaws 2, Jaws 3-D, and Jaws 4: The Revenge (This time, it’s personal) of Star Wars.

[multibug]

6. au day (streamers/long distance friends) - (ladynoir)

if this one gets enough love, i might turn it into a regular series! i love the idea of this and have so many ideas so please let me know if you’d like to see that!!!

this is pre reveal pre relationship by the way!

AO3

“Carapace, you better revive me this instant or we’re breaking up,” Rena Rouge screams through Adrien’s headset, virtually rendering him deaf. 

“There’s a guy on me, Rena. I’m trying,” the other boy on their team huffs, which doesn’t dissuade Rena’s yelling at all. 

In fact, she gets even louder. “Cara, he’s literally dancing on me, oh my god if somebody doesn’t save me before I get fully killed.” 

“We’re on our way,” Adrien tells her, though he’s not exactly telling the truth. 

Him and Ladybug are sitting in a small box they’ve built after finishing a fight with other players. They were about to go help their teammates when Rena started her rampage on Carapace and they decided it was more fun to sit back and watch them struggle. 

At Adrien’s words, Ladybug does an emote that makes her laugh and her character sounds like a donkey wheezing its way through a fit of giggles. Adrien copies her, and before he knows it, the two of them are laughing into their headsets which spurs on groans from Rena and Carapace. 

“Well maybe if the two of you wouldn’t have gone ahead of us without telling us,” Rena grumbles sourly. 

“Oh stop being such a crybaby, Ren,” Ladybug tells her through her laughter, her and Adrien quickly exiting their box as Nino gets hit and loses damage. “Just because you died to fall damage again and got carried into a box by another player to get danced on—”

Rena makes an inhumane noise, her character spinning on the screen as if she’s thrashing her mouse around. “Let me live, Ladybug! Not all of us have the grace you do when it comes to playing this game.” 

“True,” Ladybug agrees, managing to make her way into Rena’s box before Carapace does—Rena’s not going to let him live that down. “If you want me to revive you, say Ladybug has a thick ass and Chat Noir doesn’t.” 

It’s Adrien’s turn to groan now. “Hey, that’s not nice, Bug! My ass is thick and you know it.” 

It goes silent for a few seconds. 

“Do I, Chat? Do I really?” An ounce of amusement is evident in Ladybug’s voice as she talks, Rena’s health counter ticking close to her death. “You wish,” she says, instead.

Rolling his eyes with a grin, Adrien drops the conversation and playfully pouts after Ladybug revives Rena once Rena says her silly phrase. “Rena, I thought you loved me,” Adrien fake-cries with a pout, knowing his chat will clip it and send it to Rena. “I thought what we had was special.” 

“Sorry, cat. Carapace is the only man for me. If he ever leaves me, though,” Rena trails off, fully healing her character. 

“I’m going to build up and jump off if you keep talking like that,” Carapace replies, building up three times before Rena knocks it down, blowing a kiss at him in game.

“As if I’d ever trade you for a furry, babe.” 

The whole furry talk is so funny to Adrien, because he knows he’s not. All four of them picked animals to go by—Ladybug’s being the exception. Adrien’s secret identity is a cat, Rena’s a fox, Ladybug’s is self explanatory, and Carapace is a turtle. 

Letting go of his push to talk button, Adrien regards his chat for a moment, sending a pout their way. “I’m not a furry, right chat?” 

As always, their flood of yes doesn’t surprise him.

“Traitors,” Adrien hisses, his character getting the last kill to win the game. “The lot of you. Every single person in this chat room is a traitor."

Hundreds of variations of love me, senpai’s scroll over his screen. “I’ll turn off stream, you nasties!” 

That only encourages them more. 

 ladyboob: which one of you changed my name tell me before i rage the heat of a thousand suns

turtle boy:  wasb’t me ms. ladyboob pls don’t send me to the principal  wasn’t*

ren:  name change? whatever are you talking about?

turtle boy:  way to give yourself away there rena 

ren:  lalalala i can’t hear you

right chat: Dorks.  Wait, who changed my name? Give it baaaack. I’m not hip. I don’t know how to change nicknames. 

ren from ren and stimpy: that’s what the person who changed ladybug’s name would say okay which one of you hoes

ladyboob: definitely not the person with ladyboob as their name huh

ren from ren and stimpy: fair that’s very fair lb turtle boy are u ready to go to the movies or not we’re gonna miss it

turtle boy:  im literally outside rena 

ren from ren and stimpy: oh shit im out later ladynoir!

right chat:  Did she just call us Ladynoir? 

ladyboob:  first its ur chat and now rena’s in on it next they’re going to shove us into a room together and tell us to make out

right chat:  ;) 

ladyboob: shut up

DIRECT MESSAGES @Ladybug aka ladyboob, Ladybug, special agen…

Ladybug:  hey

Chat Noir: Bug!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ladybug: too many !’s calm down tiger one day i’ll get you to drop the grandpa typing

Chat Noir: Grandpa typing???? I type exceptionally well. You’re just jealous. 

Ladybug:  jealous of sounding like a 40 yr old trying to learn how to type for the first time? no thanks

Chat Noir:  So mean, Bug!  What’s up?  Ladybug: nothing  can’t a girl talk to her best friend? 

Chat Noir: You only private message me when something’s happened. Or if it’s personal.

Ladybug: liar liar plants for hire

Chat Noir: It’s pants on fire, Patrick. 

Ladybug: ughhhhh its just stupid thirsty boys in my twitch chat they keep coming into my chat and telling me to take my shirt off or take off the mask so they can fantasize about me when they’re y’know

Chat Noir: What the hell? Do you want me to come into your chat the next time you’re streaming? I’ll say something, I don’t care.  I’m sorry, though.

Ladybug: if ur not live then could u? like i know its a lot to ask  but i trust you more than anyone so also you just being there would help

Chat Noir:  Don’t worry, Bug. I’ll be there. I’d do anything for you.

Ladybug:  thank u kitty ur the best friend a girl could ask for

Chat Noir: If anyone’s the lucky one here, it’s me.  You’re the best, Ladybug.  Such a beautiful human, inside and out.

Ladybug:  shut up u stupid cat before i cry u dont want that on ur hands do u?

Chat Noir:  Noooo!! No tears. :( 

Ladybug:  too late im a sobbing mess my makeups ruined  how can i go on like this?

Chat Noir is calling…

Ladybug’s laughter immediately fill his ears as she picks up, settling the worry lingering in Adrien’s chest. “You didn’t think I was actually crying, did you kitty?” 

“It’s hard to tell through messages,” Adrien murmurs a bit embarrassedly, rubbing at the back of his neck, even though she can’t see him. “I wanted to make sure, okay?” 

“God, you’re so sweet,” is what she replies with, in a fond tone that sinks its teeth into Adrien’s heart and does weird things to his stomach. She’s just a friend. She’s just a friend. She’s just a— “One day we’re going to meet, and I’m going to give you the biggest hug.” 

Allowing a smile to form on his face, Adrien hums, tapping his fingers into his desk. “You’ll need a step ladder to reach me, Bug.” 

“That’s it, I’m hanging up.”