#i dont know where im going with this concept but im throwing it out there

[judasgot-it]

Boyfriend! Fyodor who would stick nicotine patches onto you while in your sleep so you stay addicted to him and convince you that it's love.

[todayisafridaynight]

Since you mentioned it, what did you think of Speak No Evil? I was thinking of watching it myself :0

i really liked it ............ my friend scoffed at me when i told her i was watchin it so take my opinion with a grain of salt tho </3

[cyanidas]

hey this is actually one of the hardest things ive ever tried to do with my time as an artist. how the FUCK do etsy/shopvee/redbubble artists do this for a LIVING????

BIG News: I'm trying to make some really huge changes, and I'll need your help.

Before I grant any details, I gotta preface everything with the reality of our situation; Jay, the sole breadwinner, has been a victim of yet another "new hire surprise fire". He was booted without warning, written or verbal, about two weeks ago.

Evidently this is very common in the production wood/metalworking industry, otherwise this wouldn't have happened so many fucking times, because he's a great person with amazing work ethic and that's not just my bias talking - most of his coworkers have felt the exact same way as me across every company he's worked for.

Of course, THAT DAY we wasted no time in reaching out to contacts and applying for mountains of positions on Indeed, on company websites, and the state hiring portal. Nobody has contacted him back. ONE hiring agency gave him a "maybe". Even I have applied to several places for myself, with not so much as a rejection.

Seeing the trauma this caused him first hand was my final fucking straw.

I'm sick to death of suffering this tragedy. I'm sick to death of hearing the love of my life, my Fiancé, cry because of how he was fired. And I'm sick to death of coming here or crawling to my friends and family for money they don't have because we're legitimately hopeless for it.

I don't have the heart to continually beg for cash. It was never something I've been good at or proud of doing, and it kills me inside to DM people for commissions I don't even have the time nor energy to do. I'm sick of this. All of this. I need it all to stop.

So of course, I want to nip this in the goddamn bud.

I met a very sweet vendor in Iowa who gave me a load of resources on how to get started selling my art on actual things I get to see and hold for myself and hand to people in person, namely conventions. It's a hell of a risk but I need this to work. I'm so exhausted from asking for money so please help me make this be the last time I ever need to come here for help.

More details will come, because I'm also tired of making plans and leaping forward without having anything to show for it. When I actually have these products designed, that's when I'm going to show you guys everything I've made, with as much detail on my thinking and planning as I can get out there (because lord knows the internet has taken advantage of people's generosity before).

When that time comes, please *please* give me your support. It would legitimately be world-changing for us.

I just wanted to get this out here asap so people would know what I'm going through and, hopefully plan along with me. I don't just want this to happen, I *need* this to *succeed*. I don't have any other option. Right now, I'm busting my ass on product designs (literally because this chair hurts!!), and Jay can attest to that.

I plan on having *something* to show for all my hard work by next week, and soon after, a Kickstarter to make it a reality. Keep an eye out!!

[catmask]

if it's not too intrusive, would you be comfortable talking about your experiences with OCD and maybe what made you seek a diagnosis?

idm it might help other people. i mean disclaimer not to use this as a diagnostic tool but if this sounds like u and u got a doc to talk to its worth bringing up

i think an important place to start and why i didnt think i had ocd is i am 1) autistic 2) a csa victim. this is pertinent because all of the things that actually lead me to get diagnosed with ocd i just kept dismissing as parts of those two other things. thinking 'surely this is all thats up there cant be anything else wrong with me' (<- thoughts of a clown)

the trouble with this is that coping skills id found for parts of both autism and csa trauma weren't working with things i later found out were related to ocd. so like, for example. frequently having intrusive thoughts about csa/sex trauma, i was told that if im experiencing a flashback the best thing i can do is try to ground myself and comfort myself. and yeah this is true, it would work if a flashback is all it was. but what it DIDNT account for is the guilt/dirty feeling id get after having them and the obsessive need to be 'clean' after.

and this trickled into hundreds of aspects of my life. 'cleaness' has always been such a vague unattainable concept unmedicated for ocd. if some things touch other things theyd become 'unclean'. if a person i felt uncomfortable around touched me or something it became 'unclean'. there were 'good' and 'bad' thoughts to have. i was constantly existing as if my presence was being monitored 24/7.

i could not fucking relax because every action i took, regardless of whether or not i was in private, i was constantly thinkin 'am i doing something wrong? am i hurting someone by doing this? am i breaking any rules?' and the 'bad thing' i was doing was like. i missed my boyfriend while he was at work. or i was going over former scenarios in which i was socially awkward in my head and wondering if i should be dead for doing that.

part of why i dismissed this as autism ofc too is yknow. being autistic i often missed social queues as a kid and was pretty brutally punished for it (physically by my parents, emotionally and socially by peers) so i was like yeah its Normal and Realsitic id have super intense fear about 'am i secretly doing something bad and dont realzie it because no one will fucking tell me until ive already done it and its too late and then i deserve all the punishment i get' but where my loved ones stepped in and were like Hey thats Not really normal. is where it waslike. other autistic people going 'brother i dont do that'

so yeah. it was like. kind of rule of elimination? the problems that wrrent getting solved by coping skills for the Other problems i Knew i had, i isolated those leftover things and my doctor was like 'this sounds like you have ocd. do you do this too' and listed out like 60 other things i didnt consider symptoms i just considered 'funny quirks' i had, like crying so hard id throw up if i couldnt get a blanket to lie perfectly flat during a picnic when i was 8 or thinking i was going to hell and my stuffed animals could feel pain so i would apologize to them iver and over while crying when they fell off the bed

you know. 'quirks'

[maybanksprincess]

hii new follower here!!!👋💓 im in love alreadyyy☺️ can i request where instead of pope catching jj and kie on the boat its reader , it doesnt matter if its kook!reader or pouge💖

thank you sweetheart, your so kind! 🥹 thank you for following, and i loveeee this idea so much. thank you for the request!! 💕

you were on the way back to the outerbanks after being on the deserted island for the last several months, everyone thought you had all been missing, maybe dead

after the escape from singh, your on the boat with jj, contemplating your life choices at this point.

"so your sure you didnt tell him where the diary is?" he asks as he adjusts the ropes on the boat, blue eyes locking onto yours.

you meet his gaze, watching his blonde hair fall on his forehead. "i told him i'd seen it, but i didnt tell him where."

he swings back into the inside of the boat, walking over to where your standing "so why does Singh want it so much?" he sits down beside you, on a couch cushion

you look down at him from where your standing "singh said that he thinks the diary has a clue; to the location of some city of gold."

you throw your hands up, not understanding the concept either. "like the gold on the merchant was just a small part of it." you say furrowing your brows

jj looks at you as he speaks, "okay, so the diary we have leads to a 500-year-old treasure that no ones ever found?"

you both look equally confused, not understanding it one bit.

"pretty much." you say simply, nodding your head. you turn your head from the ocean, to meet his eyes again.

"im in. its kind of like- my best option at this point, so... definitely beats sitting in geometry class." jj was never fond of school, never showed up, and when he did, he got horrible grades.

jj stands back up beside you, ruffling and fixing his hair

"yeah, beats boarding school." you say as you tap your hand on the surface in front of you.

"i mean, i dont even know what'll happen when we get back to the obx; nothing good. i can tell you that." he says, scratching the back of his neck.

"shits gonna suck for like a year." you reply, shaking your head.

he grabs the handles on the top of the ceiling of the boat, hanging off of them.

"at least you dont got a restitution, though. No job. No parents. Yeah arrows are gonna be coming in hot." he turns to look at you with those blue eyes, meeting your gaze.

"but you know what we do when arrows come flying?" he questions with a smirk on his face, trying to lighten the mood.

he starts making childish gun noises, and hitting the air, then pulling himself up by the handles on top of him, and kicking the air

"-uh, quick!" you say, pointing a finger at him, cracking a smile.

he walks back over to you, still being childish

"and you shoot right back at 'em. and that spear comes at you, you plant, grab," he says while hitting his thighs and grabbing an imaginary spear, to prove his point.

you look at him still smiling, but furrowing your brows

"disarm, straight into the jugular, finish them off" he makes yet another childish noise, hitting the air. then he turns to look at you as you walk over to him

then the boat hits a wave, and you both stumble, his hand instinctively going to your waist to cushion you incase you fell.

your hand went to his back, now your faces inches apart

your still smiling a little, his eyes drifting down to your lips.

"you know, whatever happpens, were gonna handle it together. like we always do..." you say nodding your head, looking into his eyes.

"y/n." he says lowly, his gaze still drawn to your lips, leaning in.

as soon as you two were about to kiss, pope comes around the corner and calls out to you two.

"hey." pope says. he then connects the dots, and sighs.

jj knew how much pope liked you, but you didnt reciprocate those feelings, and he knows it hurt pope, even more so to find you two about to kiss.

jj opens his mouth to say something, but no words come out.

pope clears his throat, "just wanted to let you guys know that we should probably stop for gas." he gives a forced smile

jj looks around nervously, not knowing how to press this subject "pope, i, uh... yeah. uh-"

"-yeah." pope turns and walks away, not wanting to see anymore.

jj immediately turns to pope and starts to take steps toward him "Pope. Hey, pope."

he stops walking when pope doesnt respond, and he sighs, looking down. "shit." he whispers.

you look at jj with a sympathetic expression, but quickly look away, being a little hurt by the way jj pulled away so quickly.

"ill talk to him" jj says, never looking back up.

all you can do is nod, and look away.

im so sorry if this is bad, im kind of bad with angst!! i hope you liked it, thank you for the request babe!

[spookberry]

Shadow High series 3 my new beloved

I didnt even like most of em until i saw them in person, but the knowledge that they'll probably never be in the show has my brain in a "well its free realestate" kinda mood

Random list of information cuz ive been plotting out friend dynamics and background lore

-i like to pretend Rainbow High/Shadow High are actually Rainbow University/Shadow University cuz im in art college Right Now and i think it makes more sense with the whole dorm room situation. And also major makes more sense than focus IMO

-I changed Pinkie's major from film to just undeclared. I think she eventually does land on Film. She just has a lot of interests! Her dream has always been to one day direct films, and I think she comes to love them even more while developing ideas her with the group as she winds up in a Director/Producer position for most of them. BUT also every time she takes a class in a different program she cant help but fall in love with that way of making art too. So she has a hard time picking for a while and changed her major a couple times before landing on Film.

-Pinkie and Berrie bond a lot over a shared interest in vocal synths (tho Berrie knows more about them than her).

-The two made Pinkie's vtuber model together!

-the fandom wiki says PJ is from germany?? Idk how canon that is tbh but ive decided to embrace it i guess

-Rooney's canon name is Scarlet Rose, but i thought it was kinda lame especially when Rosie Redwood is also in this line sooo I renamed her! Stuck to the color name puns tho. Mar Rooney. Maroon. Haha

-Speaking on her though i love that shes from texas and likes writing scifi mystery type stuff and that being said i just Know deep in my bones that she was a Voltron Legendary Defender fan and Keith was/is 100% her favorite. She has a continued fondness for mothman specifically cuz of this.

-PJ and Rooney actually talk about fandom and shows/movies ALL the time. They dont have a ton of overlapping interests, but where they do? The two literally never shut up.

-Rosie is such a random character, like outside of her design she feels very poorly considered. So I scrapped the cosmetology thing and made her an illustrator instead! I think it works better with her love of making art in nature. I can see her being really into illustrated guide books. I think shes a bit snooty when it comes to art too. It takes being friends with other artists to become more open minded.

-I like the idea that Rosie is mainly friends with Rooney and Berrie ontop of that. The three of them often tag team storylines and how theyd interpret them into different mediums. Rosie will draw up a bunch of concept stuff while Rooney writes up a pitch bible and Berrie will start making shit move and throwing in her own ideas on camera angles and character designs.

-as an animation major Berrie was required to take a sound design class early on, which is where she met Oliver! Hes very laid back, and likes to go with the flow, but functions a little like the "mom" of the group. Often reminding the girls to take breaks, drink water, stop looking at their screens lest they get eye strain etc. He's multi-talented tbh but Music is his one true passion and he likes how the girls are always giving him collaboration opportunities.

-Oliver and Rosie like to talk sports a lot, both having played a bunch when they were younger and throughout high school.

-Lavender Lynn is Oliver's number one "person who needs constant reminders to settle down" she is in a constant buzz of trying to get the best shots and is utterly obsessed with the process of artistic documentation. Everything must be documented.

-the whole school loves her for this actually, she has a whole side gig where other students hire her to help photograph their projects. She saves everything she earns from this for her future dream plans to visit paris. She has it set really, many of the artists who she helps photograph now will remain steadfast clients of hers forever onward.

-PJ and Lynn actually took a print media class together at one point. Which didnt at the time spark an everlasting friendship. But it did give PJ an easier in to ask for Lynn's help documenting a project the group was working on. One of Lynn's first times photographing them work happened to fall on a day where Rosie had planned to trick everyone into going on a nature walk sans devices... Lynn wound up really appreciating this outing and decided to continue hanging around the group even after that project had ended.

[ohwormwood]

random thoughts i have while playing isat pt. 7

[woe, spoilers be upon ye!]

opened the game and immediately went "im gonna make odile question my sanity!!!" but of course when i enter the house Siffrin decides to turn the scripted tutorial enemy into bean paste and ruins the run--

anyways. this panel will haunt me

i. i dont even know how but. I beat the king without him ever getting a chance to make his first attack. i just kept spamming slow and two jackpots later he was dead. i didn't even knoiw that was possible.

after a bit of fucking around i decided that i was gonna move on to act 5 and promptly burst into tears

update: i accidentally posted this too early dont look at me

sat and cried through the entirety of the party's interactions in act 5

screaming crying throwing up

even the king took one look at this dude and was like "are you good man like, you can take a rest before we do this you're literally about to topple over"

that post where odile says the oven copypasta during the mal du pays scene has permanently altered my brain and i literally laughed out loud when this line appeared

i haven't talked about it before but. a while ago i made a concept for a game based off the backrooms and omori, and odile talking about someone who is forgotten may not exist is the basis for the entire game's plot, it makes me want to go back and flesh it out a bit more!!!

i am deadset on the idea of making an edit with mirabelle's reflection craft but it's an uno reverse card

simultaneously in my brain: an edit where the sound mirabelle's reflection craft makes is the metal pipe meme

i am. such a fucking sucker for sickfics. i cannot get enough of them. act 5 has enough sickfic tropes to make a million spinoff fics on its own, it brings me life and i love it dearly

wailing

this line sends me into orbit every time i see it

odile attacking siffrin. hurts so, so so badly on an emotional level for me. Because like??? i get it. i get it and it sucks and she obviously doesn't want to, but she's scared. But siffrin is even more scared in that moment, and the immediate association of that pain with being hated by odile hurts me so much.

YEAHHHH ODILE GIRLBOSS SUPREME

they're so soft and squishy and cute in this image i c a n t

incoherent WAILING. this. this image. this image just about broke me. THEYRE SO HAPPY and RELIEVED, IT HURTS,,,

the tone shift to talking to the party afterwords is still so funny to me HJBDFBSBFH like lookit him. hes so smol. so silly.

we're kidnapping bonnie guys it's official

my honest reaction to this line: LESBIANS??????

and then she hits me with:

AND I LOST IT

more silly guy siffrin,,,,, my favorite

aaaa aAAAAAAAAAAA

ISABEAU'S SPRITE CHANGING TO BE DOING A HAPPY DANCE AFTER THE CONFESSION IS SOOOOO CUTE WAAA

bonnie and odile clapping for isabeau confessing will never not be funny but ALSO it implies the bonnie knew about Isa's crush. and i for one personally believe that they picked up on it from Odile's relentless teasing of Isabeau as the #1 Isafrin shipper

mirabelle: wait you had a crush on sif?????? and i didn't know????

my roommate, who is ace: this is the aroace experience for real,,,

literally all of the second interactions with Isabeau had me and my roommate SCREAMING

HOWLING LAUGHING

OK I NEVER KNEW???? THAT SIFFRIN TOLD ISABEAU ABOUT THE BAD TOUCH EVENT?????? IN CANON???? I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT WAS A FANON THING BUT THEY ACTUALLY ADDRESS IT IN GAME AND???? ISA'S REACTION HAD ME ON THE FLOOR

siffrin: i kissed you once,,,,

isa:

the words "im being perfectly normal about this" is something i say on a daily basis so i relate to this wholeheartedly

AYO???????? ISA WHEN DID YOU BECOME SO SMOOTH????

this. this image. made my jaw hit the GODDAMN FLOOR. I WAS NOT MENTALLY PREPARED FOR IT AT ALL AND BOTH ME AND MY ROOMMATE S C R E A M E D WHEN WE SAW IT

LIKE???? HOLY FUCK SIF JESUSSSSSSSSSSS CHRIST???? how did isabeau not implode on the spot from that look bro howwwwwwwwwww

AND THEN. AS IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH TO MAKE MY HEART START SOBBING. ISA BLOWS YOU A KISS???? AAAA???

annnnd scene!

i will continue playing to get some of the different loop endings and i totally plan on doing two hats in the future!!! so im not quite done with this game yet i just got impatient in act 4 and i needed the Emotional Catharsis of Act 5

[motleycrueobsessed]

hiiiii

ahh I so get having no motivation

as a fic writer myself it’s so much easier and sometimes it even feels more rewarding to send a request to another amazing writer than to write your concepts yourself 😀

cause you know ✨procrastination✨

And I totally get having no motivation don’t sweat

THAT SAID

could I req something with Kurt where he comes back from a tour reader couldn’t go on in a really bad place, and reader just decides to pamper him in all ways possible?? It’s your choice whether to include smut or not :)))))

AND can I become the first member of the anon family?? If by the time I send this I’m still the first

-snoitatulas,

🫨.

iloveyoy thank you for the Kurt req😭 i wrote smut headcanons for him a while back and that was kind of uncomfortable, its weird writing smut for someone who’s passed already but that doesn’t mean im not gonna do it!!!!1

more kurt requests please i love him 😞

Also yes you can! Im assuming you wanna be 🫨 anon?

Warnings: mention of drugs, mental health issues, angst and fluff, non sexual shower, small argument, and popcorn throwing.

Pairing: Kurt cobain x AFAB Reader

———————————————————————

You couldn’t go on this tour. Your boss wouldn’t allow you to miss one more day of work for a tour. You would lose your job.

Even though Kurt could EASILY support both of you, you didn’t like the idea of being completely dependent on him.

It had been several months since you last saw Kurt, you two had been calling every night since he left.

The tour was over, and you knew that because you had been counting the minutes until your boyfriend could come home.

He opened the door and you came running, with a big cheesy grin on your face.

It instantly faded as you saw him, he didn’t look good at all. He looked like he had been doing drugs again and he look sad.

“Hey, my love..” he mumbled out, a little light returning to his eyes when he saw you. He clearly loved you.

That once cheesy grin turned into a sad frown, taking big steps towards him and embracing him.

He wrapped his arms around you as you took in that familiar scent. Cigarettes and rain, it was a comforting smell.

Some days, you would go outside in the rain and smoke a cigarette, just to feel his presence.

You held him and he just seemed down. You led him to your bathroom, he looked like he needed a shower..

You helped him get undressed, he didn’t protest. You got undressed too, you knew he loved showering with you.

You warmed up the shower and helped him in, letting the water hit him.

You grabbed the shampoo and rubbed it into his hair, as he sighed. In relief, in exhaustion.

You watched as the soap ran down his body and into the drain, placing small kisses on his cheek and jaw to try and make him feel better.

He smiled, just a little, and put his hands on your hips as you rubbed conditioner into his hair.

“Your hair is so greasy, Kurt.” You teased and he smiled a little more.

And soon enough you were out of the shower, bringing him clean clothes. You both got dressed and you dried his hair.

“Rough tour?” You asked gently, playing with his clean, soft hair that was now splayed on your lap.

He had made himself comfortable, using your thighs as a pillow.

“Yeah.. i missed you, love. I..i was using again too.” He admitted, watching as your small smile faded into a frown.

“Is it bad?..” you asked. “No, no its not. Not anything like it used to be.” He reassured.

“Are you sure?.. please dont lie to me Kurt, i can’t handle losing you.” You mumbled.

“Are you saying im lying?” He said, defensive.

“No, no! Thats not what im saying. Im saying IF you’re lying .. i just wanna make sure you’re okay..” You answered, trying to calm him down.

“God i- i shouldn’t have told you that. I knew you would have thought i was lying.” He mumbled.

“Kurt you KNOW thats not what i meant!” You said, slightly hurt. He sighed, and nodded. “Fine.” He muttered. “Im sorry.” You said.

A while later you were curled up on the couch with his favorite snacks, watching some movie he really liked.

He brought his lips to yours, smiling as he pulled back and went back to watching the movie.

You tossed some popcorn at his head, giggling as he feigned offense. “How could you throw popcorn at me, darling?” He said dramatically.

“Oh hush up, im sure you’ll survive.” You teased.

After the movie, Kurt was drowsy and you came to terms with the fact you were both sleeping on the couch.

You pulled a nearby blanket over the two of you, and kissed kurts forehead gently.

“I love you Kurt.” You muttered.

“I love you too, darling.” He responded quietly as he drifted off to sleep.

———-————-————-————-————-———

he’s adorable ilove him

😭❤️ im not okay i wanna hug him.

[the-s1lly-corner]

So I just remembered the hanahaki disease trope and I think it’s perfect for Jax (You could include Gangle and/or Zooble too, they’d be p interesting)

Jax is horrible with showing vulnerability and confessions are quite vulnerable… he can’t really die in the DC but he can still suffer

Jax and Zooble with Hanahaki disease !

not explicitly x reader but you can still perceive it as such and im still tagging it as such so those who want it uhuhuhuh this post sure is gonna be interesting :0! honestly between all of the cast, i think these two are the most likely to suffer from hanahaki, gangle is a maybe but i cant think of anything for her sob sobs and i can kind of see caine also possibly getting it due to not understanding romantic stuff but thats assuming he can sick and also assuming he doesnt immediately confess to the reader upon realizing his feelings shrugs

JAX:

just going to say it flat out, if this were the real world jax would likely die before confessing anything simply because he hates the concept of being vulnerable, as well as being the one to have to open up... god this wouldnt be so hard if it were the other person suffering; as terrible as it sounds... though, i dont think jax is the most.. emotionally mature of the bunch so he likely would have a mindset like that... in the beginning, after he notices the first petals he probably starts hiding them when he realizes whats going on.. probably legitimately starts swallowing the petals because he cant stand the idea of someone seeing him cough them up... and i dont know the health risks of digesting flower petals, especially ones that just spawned inside of you, but that probably worsens his overall health. thankfully (if you can even say that) he cant die in the digital world.... which... allows things to drag out for longer, and its going to take a lot for jax to just swallow his pride and confess something of this nature... even if it means hes in excruciating agony... though, i can also see him just wanting to get it out of the way when he finally hits his limit, as humiliating as it is

just saying, if hes ever cured and actually gets with the person hes in love with, theyre going to have to work on his fear of vulnerability

ZOOBLE:

very similar to jax in terms that they also dont like being perceived as vulnerable. but for a different reason. jax doesnt like showing that kind of stuff off because he thinks love is gross and yucky! how dare he be flustered when someone calls him cute! zooble, on the other hand, more so doesnt like the idea of growing an attachment. especially in the digital world where your mental state is so vital to your physical state... nope too risky and they dont want to make the other person feel they need to keep going to spare them the hurt blah blah blah, stuff like that. though... this makes me wonder where the flowers come from, since zooble doesnt have a mouth... maybe they just... spawn out of where the mouth would be? i think that would make it easier for them to hide it for longer, until someone actually sees the petals actively coming out... less of a clean up too, since they cant bleed... but perhaps they are covered in a black residue, not too different from the stuff pomni throws up in the pilot.. shrugs.. between the two, zooble is more likely to crack and confess, though. jax has his pride to protect, but zooble isnt nearly as invested in their ego.. though i do think they try to play it off after the confession.. shrugs

[anittam]

ToT Theory: We Already Passed The Prologue, We Just Didn't Realized It

Hi, nerds! I been on a break from playing tears of themis, bc for a while it stopped being a game I enjoy playing and started feeling more and more like a chore, but recently I started playing again, so I think I will start posting again, so yeah.

Yesterday when I got home from work, instead of my brain helping me relax, it kept bombarded me with abstract and useless concepts, preventing me from sleeping, and just like that, this theory was born.

Warning: Crack theory (I meant it), and spoilers.

I have no clue of how long you been playing tot, but let me tell you something, early game tot fandom were fighting for the lives, because of the game's prologue, that shit was crypted (I not sure if I used this right) as fuck, for no good reason. Trust me when I say, people were losing iq points trying to get some sense out of this.

So many theories were made, some saying that vyn was the villian, rosa was a traitor or amnesiac, stuff like that, but what most theories had in common was that the prologue happend somewhere in the future of the game, that eventually we would do a full circle and go back to the begining of the game.

So here is my sleep deprivation theory on this subject, the prologue happended somewhere between the blossom chapter 4 and the first year anniversary.

Hear me out, at this point of the game I fully I believe that the dream sequence was really a dream, and not a trance vision. Rosa, our sweet sweet Rosa, just received love confessions from her four good male friends, and she doesnt know what to do, she is overthinking and overanalyzing trying to decide who she should chose, because she likes all four of them in a romantic way. She is thinking about it so much that she even started dreaming about it.

In the dream sequence, she sees the boys, Luke, Artem and Marius, and its connection with them, being represented by 3 objects.

If you paid attention to the blossom chapters, you would realize that thoses objects where thing that represents Rosa getting closer to them, by the way, all of those objects where introduce in the first blossom chapter (I think is because the writes just had a general ideia of the way the story would go so they just putted there in the beginning so they wouldnt have to think to much about them). The 3 objects were, luke's box, which is a central point to his personal story, a painting Marius gifted Rosa, and a bouquet Artem sended to Rosa (I know the flower is not the same, but the change is to represent Rosa's feelings at that moment).

These 3 things, although important in helping Rosa and the ones she loved build a strong relationship, it also brings her sorrow because of her indecision. Because she cant possibly love four people at the same time, thats insane, and cruel on them.

But anyway, after that she sees herself in vyn's office, and he say some weird shit, which phrase referring to one of the boys.

Luke: he talks about the chest of memories, rosa spent 8 years think about luke, what she did wrong, why he abandoned her, just for him to throw some bullshit excuse at her, in luke's first bithday card, Rosa say that she hated luke, but she cant stop loving him. But since he came back, she started to learn more and more about him, and his new life, and she is not exactly thrilled. When it come to she and Luke, there are trust issues, that are very hard to overlook, but they learn to work it out.

Marius: he talks how Rosa pretends to be okay and she is not, and that my friends is a recurring theme in their relationship. And not only her, but Marius is the same, they are constantly trying to not let the other know whats going on, they put on this facade of "im fine, dont worry" which just let the other more concerned. They have communication problems, but as the story they learn to be more open, and properly communicate their needs and concerns.

Artem: this part is the most used in "Rosa is a traitor" theories, because vyn talks about standing by your convictions but betraying your heart. And seeds of this happening was already presented in cannon storyline and in the Artem's personal story, in chapter 3 of the cannon story, Rosa strongly believes that the law is wrong, because if mother killed to save their child, they shouldnt be punished. And Artem's blossom chapter 2, Rosa wants to go against her clients wishes and push her to put her husband to trail for domestic abuse. In both scenerios, Rosa show herself to be a very closed mind person, and if she thinks somethinf is right, she would stand by it to the very end, what ends up causing friction between her and Artem. But in the end she give up her ideials, to do the "right thing", and that is her greatest conviction, doing what is right, she doesnt always agree, and sometimes she gets hurt in the process, but she done right nonetheless. Alternatively, it could also mean, think she has to choose one boy, even if she likes all four.

And after that she start feeling overwhelmed, she is in pain, and vyn makes her go to sleep again.

Now, what about vyn? What is his part in all of this? Since they barely touched on the hypnosis subject on the game, we could link this to one other moment in the game, in vyn's blossom chapter 4, Rosa witness vyn hypnotizing a pacient to help her realize that the one she loved was only using her, which left an impact on Rosa. Maybe her subconscious thought that such practice would help her decided which boy she should choose, but that didnt help her, just left her more confused.

And then she woke up. Without having her response, and still not knowing who to pick.

And this is my theory.

[yanny09]

How does one know which gods wish to work with them? How does one ask a god if they wish to work with them? And what's the difference between working with and praying to? Cause I really wanna 'work with' Apollo and Dionysus, they fascinate me to levels I can't fully describe/comprehend. As someone who has been agnostic for a long time, it's hard to feel as if connected to something bigger than me, to feel it's control over my human experience. But I feel like those powers are vested in the very base concepts of dionysos and apollo and their domains.

YOU!!! YOU AGAIN!! dixnysos you famous little creature... WELCOME BACK!! im going to explain how our beloved eros taught me how to do deity readings: first, make sure your willing and relaxed. dont expect connection, just relax a lil! second, grab and clense your deck. shuffle it too! make sure your intention is to throw yourself into it and say to a god (i scream this in my head) "HELLO!! I WANT TO WORK WITH SOMEONE!! IM READY TO SO PLEASE SHOW SIGNS OF YOURSELF IN MY DECK!" third, explain to the deity that youve shuffled your deck and youll only be willing to except (for the first out of the three cards) major arcana in the front of your deck (i stand my deck up so the front is the small majoraty of cards to my left) fourth: pull the card! dont get a major arcana card? try again and dont worry! shuffle and repeat for the middle and the end of the deck signalling to the god every time your shuffling or where the next arcana card will be! the difference between working with and admiring is working with the deity aims to teach and protect you while you offer them things and admiring is not expecting anything from the deity but just giving them things! being invested in a deity is a good sign that they wanna work with you by the way!

[dreamsofwasteland]

actually, because im once again replaying the rebrushed version of EM, seeing all the lil details here and there and comparing it to the og game mentally, and having collected a good chunk of the new concept art, i got Thinking....

in the past, for years my favorite zone was the pirates/ventureland zone. that was mostly because of my side special interest on anything pirate, and how captain hook was my favorite disney villain for that same reason, but after rebrushed... now it definitely is the dark beauty castle in the final part of the game. and funnily enough is because of pretty minor changes in the grand scheme of things

or well. in my opinion, it actually reveals what epic mickey Would've been, given a more—maybe not really "modern" but more like taking in what epic mickey Is, it's essence and the main ideas, and Expanding on it fully

kinda what they did with the clock tower fight too! adding new things happening in between what people who have played the first game already knew, but ranking up the difficulty for a new audience too

a specific idea i have to do that in other parts of the game too, is actually with another boss fight, but this time being the captain hook one:

and because im having trouble explaining it in other ways, here's the full lead up and the fight concept from my head to fully illustrate.

first, we start in a modified skull island area—that is in the eye of a storm like im pretty sure is in the new game too?—but instead of having to just go to simple mini islands around the skull to free smee's boat with paint anchors, is some sort of bigger machine connected to something holding the ship down. tho, i dont have it Fully figure it out yet, i just know there's now one new shipwreck, deep in the sea of thinner that is gonna be accessible after moving something Inside the skull, revealing some sort of weird, impossible ravine opening up the sea, and is going to have a paint-thinner bomb for the animatronic machine too besides the Thing for the ship

after that, the path opens and Now mickey can go after hook. but... is not gonna be as easy as just showing up this time.

there's two pieces of concept art that i always liked in the loading screen of that boss that half inspired this, one of them being this—

and this other one—

—in the version of epic mickey that only exist in my head so far, the first phase of the battle with hook starts at sea, finding a way to slow down the jolly roger either with paint of thinner, like in the second image

then, once the jolly is slowed down and you can Get in it, enter hook with his monologue and trapping you in the jolly. and the thinner routes for this are Fairly the same—one being crashing hook against falls until he falls apart or throwing him down to the crocodile—but it still has some parts of the paint route, that is where things get Really interesting

like. in the new game it was made even more obvious how certain parts and hanging platforms were hanging on Nothing, very visible at times, and. well yes, is a game, that can happen for the gameplay, but there's missed potential in there—

mainly because instead of already having those platforms there, in my version captain hook sees you climbing up instead of fighting him, goes on another tiny monologue and very literally Unfolds the jolly roger, extending the mast where the fairy is up, making the boat bigger and with some holes to the thinner sea below, unfolding Also other machinery—Anything to make it as tricky as possible for you to climb up. And now also has full control over the ship and how the parts move, specially the now actual hanging platforms, and make it a Fight for you to get to the fairy

like, this not only would've Looked cool, but takes the original boss fight in the original game as a base, and expands on it, like i said and like other parts of the game already did

and i love the rebrushed version to bits, but. in my head i would've been so much better, i can see it reaching for that better that i have been dreaming of for Years, and now...

honestly, when i learn how, i would make it a reality. some day,,

(and in that note, ask me about epic mickey Please. i have so many thoughts about changes and details i wish i would add, but idk how to even Start talking abt them..... or well, maybe this is a start, but where do i go from here—just. give me a location or an specific boss n i'll tell u abt it o(-( )

[elainsgirl]

Even marriage of convenience ? What’s the point ?

Can this trope be possible when the two people are mates? it doesn’t make any sense, knowing that they are mates. If you ‘force them’’ into an arranged marriage, if you forced them to be mates, it takes away the entire essence of the soulmate concept.

it reminds me of Tamlin and Feyre’s relationship, where they were forced to to develop feelings for one another. because they had no choice

Where is the natural/special connection that mates are supposed to feel for each other?

Is it because they were forced that they will accept this bond between them?

Hey anon 🫶

I don’t get it either tbh. You’re right it literally makes no sense.

The marriage of convenience/Arranaged marriage trope is used to set an alliance that can help out with: trade between two places, solidify political allies, unite groups of people. And its done by, as the name suggests, marrying two people together. By Fae standards, a mating bond is considered more holy & special then marriage - Mass put lots of significance and focus on Feysand & Nessian accepting their bond then them actually getting married. Each time mates have accepted their bond, in every universe- its done out of love & the realisation they’re soulmates. That they’ve chosen each other.

Eluciens want Elain & Lucien to accept their bond - not out of love but bcs its “convenient” ? That is so unromantic and not Sjm like at all. They’re the ones that go on about how important mates are - there is no way Mass would have elucien accept their bond this way. It ruins the idea of mating bonds = soulmates, true love & devotion to each other. But also…why would they need to accept their bond? There is no situation currently set up that makes elucien accepting their bond absolutely vital and necessary. Even with their unaccepted mating bond - there’s still an alliance between lucien & the NC. Feyre & Rhys know they have the advantage -

But there are two things threatening that advantage - Azriel & Vassa. Lucien’s loyalty shifting to Vassa despite his bond with Elain & elriel developing feelings for each other - Azriel’s being strong enough he is sitting there 1) ready to fight for elain in a BD 2) thinking she is his mate. You can argue Rhys in elains book will force her to accept the bond to get rid of these threats- but does that sound like Rhys to you? Will Feyre or even Nesta honestly just sit there & let Rhys force their sister into a relationship she does not want to be in? A relationship her sister has verbally stated she does not want? Will their sweet, boundary-respecting Lucien force Elain to accept their bond knowing how uncomfortable he makes her? Will Sjm make elucien accept their bond in the least romantic way possible, making mating bonds seem less special? Im sorry but thats not how Mass writes her love stories or love interests To go along with arranged marriages- you have the enemies to lovers trope or reluctant alliance - Im sorry - Elain & Lucien are NOT enemies to lovers. Elain doesn’t hate him. She is just point blank disinterested. The tropes elucien want for their ship doesn’t even make much sense with the way the story is currently going. Now, You can argue that the Mother arranged elain & Lucien to get together for some greater purpose…but what is that purpose? The books dont say or explore or even hint at it. At any point Rhys could have told feyre or Az that elucien were made mates for a reason, he doesn’t. Elucien don’t match plotwise either. Elain the last & third sister is connected to the last sister peak, the last mountain - The prison. Lucien is connected to the Lake and Koshei. So there’s not even a great purpose they serve together. Honestly - atp I feel like antis have stopped trying to make sense or think about the bigger picture or at least consider Sjms writing style. They just throw their HCs around and turn them into theories by connecting unrelated points to each other.

[f0linasahl0]

more things about the livestream experience before i go completely insane.

(warning: this is going to be a long one)

1: why is [bishop] lisden's favorite song mulberry street and why is [bishop] sacarver's favorite (if i remember) the outside or stressed out....i just want to throw that out there

2: i absolutely adore the piano spread whatever thing tyler does before he goes and raps to migrane. i dont know what its called but when he runs his hand across the piano, it was good. how did he make it sound so good and musical...

3: why is the shy away livestream version the only livestream version that is on their official "the story" playlist??? i keep thinking about that (https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3roRV3JHZzaU_kQ4-7uv-ahPbFabFmRW)

4: also thinking about how they cut off holding onto you before the outro. basically all there was of holding onto you was the "entertain my faith" part...thinking about the lore THERE. how a "good day dema" ad cut off the ending as well then they talk about how happy they are !! then how it goes to mulberry street after dan LISDEN says its his favorite then how it goes so blurry BEFORE THE AD??? ----"entertain my faith" sounds something like he..wants more from the religion but they cut him off from continuing the rest of holding onto you..like he got in trouble or something? i dont know man

5: "dema is bringing you this music collection that is vibrant with saturation"... "dema wants you to enjoy this collection"..."i just felt trapped before having this collection" ... "contentment"...."now that youve heard some of this collection you must be just like us, completely saturated"..."sometimes i close my eyes to try to escape...you know you cant escape sally...yes i know!" PROPAGANDA

6: why is he holding and grabbing his head so much. past the literal deadpan ass stare hes got through the majority if not all of the experience (like even while doing his little dances you'd think he'd be smiling during...), why does he grip his head so often-- i talked about this before but like what are they doing to him man he like grips his head in almost pain so much

7: also thinking about what the lore implications of jenna and debby being in this...because im pretty sure its shown jenna in levitate is a bandito i only assume debby was one too. why are they there?? were they caught too? or did dema make clones of them to use against josh and tyler?

8: "i cant wait to see you again"

9: ”in a world where this is as good as it gets…we miss you. we really do.”

10: also can we discuss the "CONTROLLED by" dma org and good day dema??? this photo is blurry as hell but CONTROLLED BY! not PRODUCTION OF! specific word choice..also dma org...dmaorg.info...why are clancy's letters posted on a website thats directly correlated with dema...letters from his time inside as well as time outside...can we like talk about that--like other than the obvious showcase that they have his letters and are using them to lie to the people, why are they going through dmaorg?? if clancy isnt directly with dema why are they--why are they going through there???

11: the whole cutscene before lane boy "there was a wonderful structure to the city that put my cares to rest and the responsibilities of the day seemed to be accomplished with minimal effort. once a task was taught and understood, our obligations timely, and it felt secure knowing tomorrows duties would be accomplished with the same efficiency. we all worked to represent our bishop with honor knew that each inhabitant of our region had a like-minded dedication to consistency....why do i kneel to these concepts? tempted by control, control by temptation. stay low, they say. stay low," then the direct contradiction of the redecorate rap he inserts, “with the bells and the whistles scaled back like an isolated track, and he feels trapped when he's not inebriated fair to say he's fairly sedated most days of the week. he might have made it if he lived on a different street. i repeat, scaled back and isolated he says he likes an open schedule but he mostly hates it if you're running to his room, take a breath before you break-in put your ear up to the door, tell me can you hear him saying?” using clancy's letters to show praise to dema then clancy (tyler) directly contradicting being like "no i hold zero praise for this city" and saying how hes isolated and sedated when hes not preforming--how he ALMOST made it out. how if he lived A LITTLE closer to the walls he wouldnt be there right now-

12: the way the old songs are "SCALED BACK AND ISOLATED" ???? A SCALED BACK AND ISOLATED TRACK????

13: the way ned is missing in chlorine when he was such a big part of chlorine

14: AGAIN this shy away version. one-why is it so important to the story, two-the 9 chairs for 9 bishops around the table, three-i fucking love the guitarist by josh i love his energy, four-THE WAY HE BREAKS A GLASS WHEN TALKING ABOUT BREAKING THE CYCLE IN HALF???, THE SCREAM !!!! so many things

[so many things you guys]

15: the fucking bishop ass dancers to stressed out....can we discuss that too. ALSO HOW THEY DRAG HIM TO THE NEXT STAGE FOR STRESSED OUT?

16: "but remember you should- *cut off*" YOU SHOULD WHAT SALLY SACARVER????

17: also firstly, how beautiful the ukulele part was...it was so gorgeous, also the transition was amazing. though past that, can we talk about how fucking sad he looked on that little boat with his uke? was that a mock to his escape attempts? to him singing to an empty sky in trench? singing to the banditos as they boat someplace safer? like...

18: THE MOCKING OF THE BANDITOS WITH THE FUCKING JUMPSUIT/HEAVYDIRTYSOULD PART?? why would dema do that? why would the bishops actively make josh and tyler look like the banditos if it wasn't just a mock? they dont like the banditos i thought why would they have them dressed up like that? like torchbearer bringing the torch to the stage and the look josh has on his face-then tyler also being in a bandito outfit. like--it has to be mocking his attempts. mocking the banditos or SOMETHING

19: heathens being in the livestream makes me think a little too but i dont know. "all my friends are heathens take it slow, wait for them to ask you who you know. please dont make any sudden moves you dont know half of the abuse."

20: also first, what was that alarm that was sounded before never take it? what happened there? second, the lore people have posted about never take it and how it was about the bishops? the way it was played while the alarm was going off and it was almost messier filming...

21: HIM ENDING THE LIVESTREAM WITH "nobody's coming for me" and his deadpan look (sobbing)

22: again, bringing up sally sacarver and dan lisden. sacarver and lisden being bishop's names and hosting this livestream. then showing directly how the bodies they are controlling are deteriorating as the show goes on. "The rules are that you can only seize or control a dead body, and only for a short while."

23: also just the heavydirtysoul part. starting to think about the: "I tricked Nico into taking me outside the walls. I created a fiery diversion. I escaped." i just keep thinking about that and:

24: "we've come for you, we've got people on the way, no chances, none at all" the way this is direct quotes from dan and sally, who are bishops, and it is also direct lyrics (or close to direct lyrics) from no chances. it just keeps cementing itself on everything ive already thought about

25: past just the livestream experience what is with josh and the bucket hat lol. i love it but like.-

26: "you ask me if its real, i see your shifting eyes, you dig in your heels, i dig my hole to die" also wondering why the "live from the outside" version is here rather than the original.-is it important

27: his little dances are my favorite thing-

28: CAR RADIO...car radio. thats it thats the point. just the car radio part is everything to me--its giving old car radio performances and im living for it. though also old car radio performances? did they put it together like that on purpose?

29: NEVER TAKE IT HAVING A BURNING CAR HOLY SHIT FIREY DIVERSION? LMAO just how close he is to the camera during this too...so many thoughts

30: "...you know you cant escape sally...yes i know!" IS THIS LIVESTREAM SHOWING CLANCY AND HOW HE DIDN'T ESCAPE EITHER?? SHOWING THAT HE HAS BEEN CAUGHT AND IF HE CANT ESCAPE, THE NOTORIOUS CLANCY, THEN YOU CANT EITHER???! SO MANY THOUGHT!!

[sorry for how long this is-]

DID THIS SHOW HOW MANY THOUGHTS I HAVE HERE. im going insane like i keep thinking about the lore implications of this goddamn livestream. i have more points (i will make a essay list whatever for it all so i don't go any crazier) but this is already a lot for one post. just wanted to like...throw this out there. i know some might be a stretch but please just hear me out. just hear me out :,)

[thornswoggled]

you know what it is. 106 stream of consciousness. lets go

WOW ok just by the thumbnail alone im surprised. i did NOT think we were gonna get to see the rest of hildas scene with lindel so soon. like i had no earthly clue where this chapter was going to start up

chapter title lindel feels very reminiscent of ch1 "future chise" illus

"misery makes strange bedfellows." hmmmm. all small caps too for some reason

yamazaki prepping us to view lindel as a secondary antagonist by drawing his face in shadow like every other frame

ARE THOOOOOOSE FUCKIIIIING DWAAAAARRVES????????? HELLOOOOOOO???????

why did we not meet these thangs the first two times they went to iceland. maybe she decided to add a little spice

oh my god missing subtitles. literal empty bubbles. comicgrowl needs to be dealt with. severely

more talk of eggs and chicks. which could mean nothing

looking at the slider.... this is another slightly longer chapter. huge for a guy like me

OMG we get to see what happened that time rahab summoned them oooooooooo

lindels shirt in this scene is really cunty. sorry. who said that

"this is the 2000s era" ok so we are still playing coy with what year it is. probably a good idea

"my first time meeting the current you." so yamazaki is weaving in the concept that rahab can meet people on different parts of their timeline. which feels a little op and a good deus ex for conflict resolution but thats my own personal beef with timeline fuckery as a plot device

wadda hell. this dragon hatched fully fledged like a damn bulnosaur

ohhhh this dragon is the one flying behind lindel in that one color spread for arc 3. the one i captioned with "whatever. go my dragon"

adolfs protestation about magic is like. yes. i agree. because tamb does not have a robust magic system and its attempts to form a solid action-based plot are largely impotent, which is FINE, we are here for character development anyway. i once made a webcomic with the same problems so i dont mean to throw stones in glass houses but like. yeah the distinction between mages and alchemists and how magic works is not something i have ever been sold on

great callback to chise summoning those wasps in arc 1. i enjoy seeing a scene from the early chapters reimagined in the modern art style. tangent, but in the supplements the note for that scene was something like "chise has never seen this kind of bug in real life so she probably remembered it from a nature documentary"

pokemon-ass messaging here. fucking catch em all

just now noticing the twins got their hair swoop from hilda

"i managed to avoid lying." i was about to ask how exactly he lied but then skipped ahead and read the answer whoops

lindel hurrying hilda out the door but he doesnt even know what she came here for yet. like she didnt get to tell him about the red dragon yet LOL

im also just now realizing that the dragon we saw at the end of 105 was the dragon adolf hatched and not the dragon that cursed chise. ok 🧍‍♂️

"they even forbade me from speaking my language" so i think lindel is implying here that hes part of the sámi people which tracks. i wonder if they were speaking one these languages when he met elias? i still dont know why lindel bothered to ask where elias came from when he could have inferred it from whatever language he spoke

adolf explicitly states that he left germany before ww2 which i think was very funny on yamazakis part (DO NOT GET IT TWISTED, she said, HE IS NOT A NAZI) but at the same time. why was he fleeing british soldiers. maybe they just assumed he was a nazi cuz of his name and accent. idk

ok so its time to go back to school already. silky being convinced that theyll be stuck there for months again is. so funny

"do you think we can ask the college to send letters for us" what do you mean by that. does the college not give you the means to send mail. are you expected to just use the royal mail. why arent you using royal mail anyway. hello

ok so she stomps on the floor and a new door springs up. it looks like an exterior door based on the lock. is this a sort of uhhhh howls moving castle/witch hat atelier windowway sort of situation. is silky going to break into the college so she doesnt have to miss her kid. she looks so stupidly nefarious i know the reason she looks so creepy is going to be funny as fuck

so overall i cant say that lindel and adolf are my fav characters or that i am terribly invested in them so i dont feel i got a TON out of this chapter but i am excited with the last page we got. happy for the lindel enjoyers and the lore dump yall got. i guess im not sure what purpose this new dragon is serving either because its (probably) not related to red vs white dragon conflict. i guess you could say that its a third dragon that emphasizes the importance of choosing your own path rather than being locked in this fated cyclical battle the way the red and white dragons are, which would be in line with tambs greater themes. like a third choice, i guess. adolf is also shaping up to be in a similar position to chise - that is, he has a unique relationship with magic, and his master has to lie for him so he wont be unduly researched lol. i am interested to see how much time we will see chise actually studying or being in class considering all the other things shes now expected to be responsible for. her ass is not studying 💯💯💯

[vechter]

Oh i hope your still doing the lbia ask thing? (Turns out rereading 40k of words takes a little time (dont regret the decicion at all tho your writing is so nice to read :D).

Anyhow! First of ough its so good i love how its all written and how you wrote dick and everyone else (donna💖💖💖💖💖) and theres so so many good lines i couldnt write them all down and ask you about them but if i couldve i wouldve! But so is it ok if i just throw up some stuff i really like and you can pick what to answer? So ok might as well start at the beggining, im really curious what made you decide to (kinda) start with deathstroke as the like first domino in the fic? I mean deathsrokes great but what made you decide to kick it of with him? Whats slade doing there? Oh and speaking of slade hes the first person to mention the concept of "home" in the fic (he says it) and at least to me it seems like home and coming home is a big theme in the fic? Like theres this contrast between dick being asked again and again (not by donna and the titans tho) to come home or when he will come home, meanwhile a repeated motive is that dick will always come back (both a blessing and a curse) and well my question is really if it was intentionall to make the concept of home (as in the manor) so so claustrophobic? Like while i was reading everytime i saw the word it felt more and more restrictive? (Except for when he says it about donna and roy) was that intentional or like???

Also on a similar note i just wanna say donna saying "i know how you bats play the blame game" (or something) lives in my brain and then also all conversations between dick and batfam members basicly being him saying sorry was an insane choise actully especially as the titans are all like "if you dont stop saying sorry im gonna snap and murder batman" while basicly rattling the bars to dicks brain going "let us help pls pls pls let us help holy shit" (while dick is going oh im always owing them so much.../most unreliable narrator ever)) is just its really good and their all justefied to some degrees and ough (also would anyone knowing about what happened between and bruce and dick in the cave actully change anything?)

Anyhow last thing! Sorry this got long i tried to keep it short but theres so many good bits ough, anyhow my only actual question! So when dick and bruce talk about why bruce didnt have a second person as a safety net, dick says "if you didnt trust her (babs) to be objective, there was always tim and alfred" and it just made me very curious about your thoughts on bruces and babs relationship? Just very intresting to me!!!

Ok ok so sorry for talking so long hope you have a lovely day!!!!! And thank you so much for writing your great :))

omg anon i can't believe you reread it ily. thank you!!! also yes, i'm going to do my best to answer everything you've mentioned here

So ok might as well start at the beggining, im really curious what made you decide to (kinda) start with deathstroke as the like first domino in the fic? I mean deathsrokes great but what made you decide to kick it of with him? Whats slade doing there?

okay, so when i initially had the brainworms for LBIA, i envisioned slade having a much bigger role— not in a consequence heavy way (like he wasn't going to do much but just be a general nuisance), but definitely in a way where he would be one of the first few people to see through dick's crumbling defences and try to exploit them. i wanted dick to have a real breakdown about how often people keep trying to take his agency away & make him into who they want him to be... so for that, slade would've been pivotal. there was a portion i wanted to write about the court of owls but honestly... i didn't want to reread the corresponding comics so i scrapped it.

as for slade being the first domino— here's my messages with @/blackbatcass when i was writing the fic:

okay but fr... so the fact that dick went back to blüdhaven— which is still half-quarantined, half-rebuilt— that was really important to me (it also ties in a little bit to your next set of questions about dick's concept of home). my premise for it was that he went there as a form of self-inflicted punishment, but also as a very fucked up form of comfort.

you see mentions of atonement and penance a lot throughout the fic... dick has a very, very interesting relationship with both. there's a very physical component to penance (consider people who fast as a form of penance). there was a really interesting article that i read once, which i sadly don't have access to anymore but it dissects the differences/similarities between the two very well.

so, the physicality of actually contributing to the rebuilding of blüdhaven— a city he failed— his city— was a means to perform penance. it's why it's only right that slade shows up. because he was the other architect for what happened to blüd. and neither of them will forget it; so, in a way, the city ties them to each other forever (much like joey).

it's also why once slade remembers dick grayson, he knows exactly where he will be. he doesn't understand dick fully (who does lol?), but dick's guilt complex is something slade has personally witnessed and they both are very keenly aware of how much blüdhaven haunts dick. it's where he should've died as nightwing! he almost did (if you discount the conflicting comics where he's somehow both in new york and blüdhaven when chemo drops)...

Oh and speaking of slade hes the first person to mention the concept of "home" in the fic (he says it) and at least to me it seems like home and coming home is a big theme in the fic? Like theres this contrast between dick being asked again and again (not by donna and the titans tho) to come home or when he will come home, meanwhile a repeated motive is that dick will always come back (both a blessing and a curse) and well my question is really if it was intentionall to make the concept of home (as in the manor) so so claustrophobic? Like while i was reading everytime i saw the word it felt more and more restrictive? (Except for when he says it about donna and roy) was that intentional or like???

as for the concepts of 'home' and 'coming home'... yes, it was an intentional choice to portray them differently. when slade first mentions home, he makes it a point to distinguish between home and gotham. the manor and gotham... there's too much of bruce in there. sometimes that's a relief but a lot of the time, it's a curse. dick can never neatly divorce gotham and bruce or the manor and bruce.

like, look at this deleted scene that almost made it to the fic (which might still have a place in this world if i ever decide to write the jason & dick confrontation in the LBIA verse):

the manor is a sentient presence in the fic. it's almost alive. the very first time dick sees it, it casts shadows... much like bruce. it's a time capsule for the good old days, especially when it was just dick and bruce. it's haunted by the ghosts of martha and thomas, by bruce's staunch way of keeping them alive through it. but it can also be a place where he can belong again and that's largely because there's a sentience in the manor and the cave that recognizes how good dick has been for bruce... how dick was the trigger for the family and legacy that bruce has built. it protects its own:

but it has been corrupted, a fact dick is somewhat aware of:

dick's home has never been a physical thing... it has always been the people and bruce is so largely connected to wayne manor and gotham that it's why dick has felt at home there. which is why there's no going home in a real sense— not after what he and bruce have done to each other.

Also on a similar note i just wanna say donna saying "i know how you bats play the blame game" (or something) lives in my brain and then also all conversations between dick and batfam members basicly being him saying sorry was an insane choise actully especially as the titans are all like "if you dont stop saying sorry im gonna snap and murder batman" while basicly rattling the bars to dicks brain going "let us help pls pls pls let us help holy shit" (while dick is going oh im always owing them so much.../most unreliable narrator ever)) is just its really good and their all justefied to some degrees and ough (also would anyone knowing about what happened between and bruce and dick in the cave actully change anything?)

if you notice, a lot of the apologies that dick does with the bats... he does say sorry but he doesn't linger or keep apologizing. it's with everything else that he conveys how truly apologetic he is for hurting them. a lot of it is the fact that dick believes that he doesn't deserve their forgiveness, not when the hurt he has caused will always be there, not when he cannot take it back. you know that one rivecca quote?

also, you bring up a really interesting point about how people would react to knowing the true details of the events in the cave.

there's a reason why i intentionally skip over that particular section of the re-telling each time. a lot of it is to do with dick's own shame over it. the sheer intensity of bruce's grief at watching him die, the way he failed himself and bruce by dying... he can't talk about it. not in a real way. also, with the titans, they've always insisted on dick having firmer boundaries with bruce, so for them to ever know— it would mean they were right. and dick can't have that. because no one else in the world knows what it was like in those robin years, when it was just him and bruce (and alfred). they don't know the depth of comfort or solace that bruce offered him. it was good! it was so good. it's why it hurts so much now.

there's also an element of dick selling a performance. he gives away different tidbits to different people and in a way, they're all true. but it's about what he isn't saying. that's a whole other can of worms. so, in his head, he's being truthful even when he's lying by omission. but there's a part of him that believes that the fight in the cave is just for him and bruce. he's already had to share his own death. he shares batman with all the robins who came after him and they even wear his name while they're doing it. maybe this one portion can be just for him and bruce, only.

so, in a way, it's a doomed story. even people knowing what really happened— i don't think it would change anything, not in any substantial way. the centre-point is bruce's magnetism + batman's inescapable orbit. there is a part of him that is resigned to that.

Anyhow last thing! Sorry this got long i tried to keep it short but theres so many good bits ough, anyhow my only actual question! So when dick and bruce talk about why bruce didnt have a second person as a safety net, dick says "if you didnt trust her (babs) to be objective, there was always tim and alfred" and it just made me very curious about your thoughts on bruces and babs relationship? Just very intresting to me!!!

ok this one is slightly head-canony.

but basically, because i don't take the whole mother/orphan arc into account, it means cass has been around since NML. and the friction between bruce and babs comes from that. bruce relegating her to hong kong before he died is a sore issue between them because babs cannot think of anything worse than cass mourning bruce all alone, in a strange city, with no one to really rely on, not even wearing the mantle she essentially bequeathed upon cass. like you already see how bad it can get between bruce and babs in batgirl 2000.

plus, when dick meets cass near wayne tower... a very strategic and symbolic location btw... cass mentions how she was not here. it probably wouldn't have changed anything if she was but it's that bat-brand of absolutism that makes her think that if she was just here, she could have changed something. and i think there's a part of babs that believes that, too.

and dick and bruce both recognize that... they're like that, too. so dick knows bruce wouldn't have been able to trust babs with something like spyral after all the tension between them, especially during all the times they've co-mentored cass, or war games & steph, or how they both sort of blame each other for dick's renegade era.

there's also the added element of bruce thinking that babs and dick are romantically entangled, even though they've been broken up for a very long time, which makes him think that babs would have pulled him out if it got too hairy (which is decidedly untrue but bruce is operating from a place of blind grief during nightwing #30 so rationality isn't that easy for him right then).

geez, this got soooo long. anyway, i hope this answers some of your questions. i really enjoyed doing this actually... so thank you anon <3

come ask me for a director’s cut on my fics!