#i dont know what to do about that bc SOMEHOW I STILL DONT HAVE THE BEGINNING SET UP
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EVEN IN FUCKING ARCADIA. (THOUGHTS)
OH. MY. GOD. words cannot properly express what an experience thsi album is. anyways, go my ramblings. um heads up theyre very. raw. from what i usually try to post LMFAO
MY IMMEDIATE THOUGHTS ON A FEW RELISTENS ON ALL THE SONGS!!
1. look to windward
ACTUALLY SUCH A GOOD OPENER. HOLY FUCK. THE WAY THE STRINGS BUILD?? AND THE CHORUS?? IT GOT ME SO HYPED
SLEEP TOKEN AND STRINGS NAME A BETTER COMBO!! more general but i LOVE the way we got more orchestral stuff this album
also i like the um. whatever the fuck instrument is at the start
"halt this eclipse in me" IS SOOSOSO INTERESTING... MOON IMAGERY... TMBTE.... YOU KNOW..............
THE VOICES?? THE AMBIENCE?? WHAT R THEY SAYING
AND THE TRAP BEAT. BWUHHHH SO GOOD
THE SWORD NOISE THE SWORD NOISE IM SOSOS HAPPY THEY PUT MORE SFX AND WHATNOT ON THE ALBUM
THE BIBLICAL IMAGERY DURING THE RAP???? OHHHHHH
"the fate of the fallen, nobody knows where I came from / even I have forgotten / how can I already lose my way like this?" LIKE DAMN OKAY?
the "oh and i used to know myself" REAAALLYYY REMINDS ME OF AQUA REGIA. like the way he sings it with the "oh and iiii am done dancing to alarm bells"
will you guys halt the eclipse??
i lowkey. thought he was saying haunt at first but halt is cool too ig
THE BREAKDOWNNNNNN SOSOOSSOSOSOSO GOOODDDDDD AND THE SCREAMS?? WE GOT SCREAMS ON AN OPENERRRRR
2. emergence
uhh. idk if i have to comment much on this one bc i. already did.
anyways still a banger track but
i do think other songs are becoming my favorites over it
love you gabi rose saxophone solo tho
3. past self
oddly. not as sad as we expected imo LMFAO. reminds me of caramel with the dance-y beat but sad lyrics.
i feel like this is another one more so directed at the fans w the "Apologising for shit that frankly I stopped thinking of years ago"
also the um "Torn apart by the true believers are turned out to be faithless." is SUCH A GOOD LINE. something something if you're a real fan you'd respect boundaries (LIKE. NOT. USING THEIR REAL NAMES...)
new swear word UNLOCKED. i lowkey didnt hear it first time i listened
"If this is real, then I am all up in a frenzy (Hmm-hmm-hmm) / Not like before when I was empty" -> SAY THAT YOU WILL MENTIONED ("you've got me up in a frenzy again"). also the next line being "say that the story we tell is never ending" sounds similar to "say that you will" yk...
4. dangerous
FUCKING. BANGER I LOVE THE BEAT?? like it feels like a warning it fits so well god
knew it was gonna be good from the guitar at the start
"You've got me talking in my sleep / As if you're conquering my dreams / You have awakened what's beneath" three sleep references in the same verse?? woah
I DONT KNOW HOW TO DESCRIBE IT BUT. THAT ONE BEAT THAT ONE BEAT ITS SO CATCHY ITS SO GOOD ITS SO DANCY. i jsut feel like that one dancing kid gif
"Well, I thought I could resist you / But something in me just can't help but insist / To blur thе lines just one last time so" vessel nooo....... don't do it..... no........
the bit at 3:06 kinda sounds like that one part of tmbte
HE SAID THE THING. HE SAID THE THING HE SAID SHOW ME HOW TO DANCE FOREVER AND HE DID IT BEAUTIFULLY.
i do vaguely remember when that was first teased ppl going like "oh i wonder if hes finally met someone good that can show him how to dance forever..." So. Maybe not
5. caramel
i think. there's been enough said about this song already
still a banger tho. love you caramel
6. EVEN IN FUCKING ARCADIA
PEAK PEAK PEAK PEAK PEAK MY FAVORITE SONG ON THE ALBUM ACTUALLY OH MY GOD I GET CHILSL EVERY TIME
I WAS. LOOPING THAT ONE BIT OF THE EMERGENCE B SIDE/THE TEASED MUSIC SHEET MUSIC WHICH IS. THIS SONGS INSTRUMENTAL
I GOT JUMPSCARED BY THE VOCALS AT THE START BC IM USED TO THE INSTRUMENTAL
BUT I LOVED THE MELODY AND I WAS LIKE OKAY I KNOW THIS IS GONNA BE REALLY FUCKIGN GOOD
AND ITS. SOMEHOW STILL AMNAGED TO BLOW MY EXPECTATIONS OUT OF THE WATER
IT RMEINDS ME OF FALL FOR ME IN A GOOD WAY
"Turns out the gods we thought were dyin' were just sharpening their blades" GOES CRAZY WHAT DOES THIS MEAN
"HAVE YOU BEEN WAITING LONG FOR ME??" THE SMILE I LET OUT. HE SAID THE THING
THE SWORD NOISEEEEEEEE AND THE BOW FIRING (?) NOISE
ITS SO NICE TO HEAR THE INSTRUMENTAL IN GOOD QUALITY DHMU
"WHAT GOOD IS ALL THIS TALK OF WINGS WHEN THERE IS NOTHING LEFT ABOVE?" AOOOAWUFUHA WWAFHAWGJSGIU24GY3TR7F8EU9GIDO
IF YOU DONT ASCEND AT 2:30 WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
I ACTUALLY TRANSCENDED INTO A DIFFERENT PLANE. MY JAW FELL TO THE FUCKING FLOOR. OH MY GOD.
"IT SEEMS EVEN IN ARCADIA YOU WALK BESIDE ME STILL." HE SAID THE THING HE SAID THE THING and then followed it up w the "have you been waiting long for me?"
THE SCREAM. THE SCREAM THE SCREAM.
theres not even that much heavy bits but oh my god i genuinly love these sleep token songs
THE CELLO. I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD THAT WAS GOOD. AND THEN THE CELLO. FLOORED ME. SENT ME TO HEAVEN. SNET ME TO SPACE. STRINGED INSTRUMENTS ON SLEEP TOKEN TRACKS I HAVENT HEARD OF YOU SINCE WTBB I MISSED YOU. ACTUALLY SO BEAUTIFUL I ALMOST STARTED TEARING UP (i dont usually do that w songs)
THE AMBIENCE AT THE ENDDD REMINDS ME OF THE AMBIENCE IN TMBTE BUT LIKE. A BIT MORE DISTORTEDDD CUZ LIKEEEE EVEN INARCADIA I AM THERE AAAAAAAAA
AAAAAND IMMEDIATELY ADDED TO S+ TIER
7. provider
close enough welcome back sugar (content wise) idk
THE BEATTTT OUUUGGH
"my lover..." damn
THE LYRIC FLOW IS CRAZY IN THIS ONE
THE ICU LINE TO "I SEE YOU" TICKELD BRAIN GOOD.
"The only good girl in this side of the moon" AHSDHHAWHJFSSEFHSJGK -> "oh maybe make a good girl bad"
"You’re the only game that I like to lose" -> blood sport? ("i made loving you a blood sport i cant win / so lets play")
i did. not hear foxtrot at first im. was this intentional. or are my ears just shit... it sounded like fuck [straight] to me and i had to do a double take
breakdown... ouughg...
"garner you in silk like a spider..." MOTHS.... AS PREY TO SPIDERS?TMBTE REF? like i dont think. being wrapped in silk from a spider is a good thing guys
"even in the daylight, i can give you what i want" is such an INTERESTING CONTRAST from all the moon imagery yk. and the whole "so give me the night" + "the night comes down like heaven" + "the night belongs to you"
what if. sleep pov...
8. damocles
Yeah.
side note but i keep. playing this song and i genuinely think it makes me feel sad so i should. probably not do that as much but its so good :::(
9. gethsemane
Holy. Shit.
The noises at the start??
THE WAY THE NOTES SOUND ALMOST DISTORTED??
listen i know sleep token songs fundamentally are personal. but this is. another level
"you are my harlequin bride, i was your undercover lover" harlequin.... harlequin mentioned....
"you never saw me naked / you never even touched me / except when you were wasted" Jesus. Christ. (Pun not intended)
"but you were trying your best / and that's what i tell the others" auaugfjghdhhhdhfhggcvjjkcbvkcbvcll
"I was tryin' my best, and that's the thing I tell the mirror / I was in love with the thought that we were in love with each other" YEEEEEOOOOOOOWCCCCHHHHHHHHHH. stabbed.
the idea of. self blame in this track is just so. guhh. and trying to excuse the other persons actions even if they hurt you.
THE BREAKDOWN FOR THIS IS SO. GOOD. reminds me of high water with how raw it is
THE SCREAMS TOOOOOO
LIKE. THE CROWD AMBIENCE? I THINK THATS WHAT IT IS?
and then the transition into the latter part of the song is so SMOOTH.
really digging the beats.
also the outro. smooth as FUCK
"I've learned to live beside it, and even though it's over now / I will always be reminded (Reminded, reminded, reminded)" OHHHHHHHH.
other thoughts that relate to past projects but. wont speak on em here
10. infinite baths
Wow
the way it has a similar start to windward....
"infinite baths washing over me at last" reminds me of like. the sort of cleansing he was asking for in atlantic ("flood me like atlantic / bandage up the trenches") so. tpwbyt reverse theory?
"Well, I have fought so long to be here / I am never going back" :::)
sort of a rain/euclid vibe. more so euclid, it has that Hopeful vibe to it
the whole nature being changed metaphor auugughg....
THE WATER AMBIENCE. UGUDFJHKGSFDFDJKHU9POEJSHFJXKL;
the "let me drift" bit kinda reminds me of the tmbte "i dream in phosphorescence"
II WENT CRAZY. I MEAN HE DID THE WHOLE ALBUM BUT LIKE. WOAOOWAOAAW
THE SCREAMS. DUDEEE THE SCREAMS. idk how people made out hte lyrics but thanks
the "halt this eclipse in me" line reprise1!!!! LETS GOOO
"Teeth of God / Blood of man / I will be / What I am" TEETH OF GOD MENTION IN A SONG. WE ACTUALLY WON SO HARD
THE FADEOUT. MOSH PITS R GOING CRAZY W THIS ONE
the fadeout also reminds me of the offering but like. way longer
II... II DUDE.................
and the way it loops perfectly into windward
OK MISC CLOSING THOUGHTS
PEAK FUCKING PEAK BEAUTIFUL ALBUM SOBBING WEEPING CRYING THROWING UP SCREAMING
i wonder whats gonna be on the setlists.
reverse tpwbyt theory. maybe
um i need to. think about feathered host n house veridian more and pattwrns and stuff yeah
#sleep token#maris sleepy thoughts#even in arcadia#feathered host#house veridian#SOBBING WEEPING CRYJNG THROWING UP#look to windward sleep token#emergence sleep token#past self sleep token#dangerous sleep token#caramel sleep token#provider sleep token#damocles sleep token#gethsemane sleep token#infinite baths sleep token
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im watching a (slow) streamer play thorugh elden rings DLC and have barely seen anything more but ... i have seen some vague hints on twitter that theres something up with radahns lore and now im WORRIED/FEAR TM
hes my fav and thought that the lore in the base game was all he would get and i was honestly fine with that (heyo another unpopular(?) one to add to my list of favs lol) and was just happy he was mentioned by name bc that one lady NPC at the start-- BUT NOW??? i dont even know if its true but .............
im not gonna say anything more dw, ... i dont even know more anyway, but feel free to tell me bc the not knowing and then see it get discovered on stream might be worse than any spoiler could be (i dont even care about that much anymore)
#ganondoodles talks#elden ring spoilers#??#it seems like something was made weird#BUT I DONT KNOW IF ITS TRUE OR WHAT#i dont wanna google it either bc while not caring much about spoilers ... knowing every boss would be kinda meh#... how would i even google it#pls dont tell me they ruined yet another one of my favs#... i only have so few but somehow always manage to pick the ones know one remembers or that get ruined by later added lore#like im sorry but i love sooga/supa alot and still do but the added lore thing with koga made me feel weird about the ship#and know im having trouble enjoying it anymore#as one example ... though a tame one#someone ease my mind#cant stop thinking about it
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i was rereading different parts of the royal au and i got to neil calling andrew "my star" and my mind immediately added north to it and i read it as "my north star" and then i remembered that that's the star people always use to find home. cause andrew is neil's home.
You 🤝 me, thoughts on Abram calling Andrew his star
#again. old ask i apologize#however i did have this writteb before the ask came in#under 'proposal draft1'#and one day ill even get far in the fic. 100k words later or smth 😭#i tallied all my word count#and not including nano#just the stuff i have in my evernote before november#was like 90k already 😶#i dont know what to do about that bc SOMEHOW I STILL DONT HAVE THE BEGINNING SET UP#not art sorry guys#aftg#all for the game#my writing#royal au#asks#andrew minyard#neil josten
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men are inherently traumatized under the patriarchy bc they're pressured or forced to conform to the standards of manhood, which to put very simply, is to never express of feel emotions, which makes them bad at socializing, thus rendering them eternally isolated.
#it IS inherently traumatizing to bottle everything up or only be able to express it in indirect ways.#even more so to be told you HAVE to live life that way or else you're not Man Enough.#its like trapping an explosion- sure everything outside was left unscathed but the inside of whatever you used to trap it with is fucked#you just. rot from the inside out when you ignore your own pain 'for others sake'#i put that in quotation marks because a lot of the things guys are taught to believe are a burden for others to 'deal with' emotions wise#is like any other day of the week when women are openly loudly and unapologetically talking about it.#the inherent isolation that comes when you are/are perceived as a man is no joke.#everyone else follows the rules of the patriarchy so they dont think to ask you how you feel nor think you even need it#all it takes it one really rough day. and you and i BOTH know these (cis specifically) men dont have ANY of the therapy tools#necessary to help themselves through that pit. bc its 'not masculine' to go to therapy .-.#i think this is the huge wall we all run into here. like no its not any womans obligation to be a therapist to a man. at the same time#the [more often than not cis] men we have these days are more likely to go to therapy but the 'therapy is gay' thing still has a good#stronghold. at the very least guys always see it as someone having a weakness if they need to go. so what we need to do is somehow#convince cis men that therapy is fine and normal actually and good for you even. bc the shame around going to therapy means#we'll always be stuck here.#dont be a therapist but at the very least- let me ask you to pass on the message of how therapy is good and doesnt detract from their#masculinity. and dont say it in a snobbish 'i told you so' way either. deeply unhelpful and ur just doing it to fuel ur own ego.
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highlight !!
#my art#my ocs#artists on tumblr#character art#💎#ive kinda fallen off posting art but I FINISHRD SOMETHING I CAN POST so here. ^-^#i love this style of illustration so much and i only just registered that i can just make it#i love u monochrome + 1 accent color . my best friend#also yesss the flowers have intentional meanings but thats semi secret bc some of them would be hard to identify#without their proper colors ^-^ but i know. i know what they are#achin goodman#torin stark#reese morrison#cay starr#alex young#vince abernathy#still kind of undecided how i feel about posting my art somehow but i dont think i dislike doing it . ?
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yeah sure that's how i'll [re]come out

#zymart#zymtalk#rant in the tags ->#okay listen to me this is really important and also i have a witness. this was not intentionally supposed to be posted on june 1st#the stars just aligned for this to be at its funniest. which means its also easier for me to dismiss LOL#i drew this like a week ago after trying to draw a whole like. 5 page comic about it and then stopping it mid-board#bc it was horrifying imagining being perceived that much. so i needed to make it into a joke instead and this was the funniest route#and then i was like 'UGH. UGH!!!! i can not be 20 and deal with this like im 13. if i dont post it by the end of the week#then [the witness to all my rants on this topic. shoutout to twig bc they got the most of it] can joke abt it as if i did anyway'#and now its the end of the week and i looked at the date and went 'oh my god didnt may just start what happened'#'WAIT ITS JUNE FIRST. GOD. THATS TOO FUNNY TO NOT SAY SOMETHING' and who am i if i dont prioritize the bit honestly#in all honesty. kinda hate it! not bc of internalized homophobia but actually bc of internalized arophobia that has somehow been emphasized#after having my brain shift from '1000% aromantic without a doubt no exceptions' to 'just arospec ig lol??'#but tragically as it turns out. you can not just try and self analyze yourself into speedrunning closure.#horrible news for the oscar zymstarz community frankly#SO i needed a way 2 justify shoving this off my plate and into the trash as fast as possible.#im impatient and cant acknowledge my own emotions. its a flaw im working on it#oh and for all the ppl who know the running gag abt 'my allegations' [i do not have any real allegations for anyone not in jems server]:#that was in fact just a running gag for like well over a year and a half. like that was just a long running bit COMPLETELY unrelated to thi#i only started having this weird sexuality shift or whatever not too long ago lol. like long enough to go through 4 of the 5 stages of grie#[evidently bc like. im posting this. i got close enough to 5 to throw in the towel ykwim]#but on 'oscar zymstarz emotional acknowledgement' time that is....... not long.#but yeah ig tldr like. still ace [thank god] just arospec [probably demiro? i hate trying to figure out my own labels] instead of Aro now#idk none of this is that deep but also like it kinda is unfortunately bc i have to actually talk abt it to be able to ignore it ykwim#but i did! we're done talking abt it now! and now i can act like i dont care and try to make jokes about it to speedrun the rest of it#anyway. Happy Pride everyone. Fukign kitty.#side message to jem. by no means does this mean im not still gonna bully you. its a sign of love but also it is you specific bullying 🫶#you are not safe#edit: this is karma for saying 'thank god'. might be demiace too. this is the worst month of my life /j
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Okay so basically the United States MINT of all people is going to be working with DC to make a line of coins! These coins sadly won't be in circulation (the things I would do to live in a world where I could get Batman coins from the supermarket) as they're collectors coins, but will be releasing over the course of the next 3 years, 2025-2027.
Designs haven't been released yet (the same is true for all 2025 designs) but we know there will be 9 coins in total (3 each year) with the first year featuring (of course!!!) Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman.
Although we know the first three heroes to be featured, the remaining six have yet to be decided, and it turns out the Mint is putting out a survey on their site to gauge which of a group of culturally significant heroes people want to see most! (link to the form is mentioned in the article above)
The considered group includes: Supergirl, the Flash, Green Arrow, Black Canary, Captain Marvel, John Stewart GL, Aquaman, Hawkman, Jamie Reyes BB, Robin (Damian?), Cyborg, and Batgirl, of which 6 will be selected.
As someone who does a bit of coin collecting myself (mainly circulation coins like the quarters sets, but I also have a couple proof and collectors coins) I think this is a really cool and interesting idea that showcases the history of the comics medium and these characters and their influence on American culture. Really excited to wait and see what the designs look like for the coins already announced!
#ABSOLUTELY INSANE TO ME#sorry just. only thing that could make this crazier is if these were circulating. i would fucking die actually lmao#i mean you could buy something with one of these legally but like youre an idiot if you do that so likeeee#someone showing up with the solid gold superman collector coin and its only legally worth a dollar lmao#not that someone would do this but future generations/archeologists finding a coin in some ruins and it just has like. batman on it#amazing to me#also just the transition from us currency having all fake people (lady liberty some random native american guy etc.) and then going to real#people and presidents then expanding that to honor people that they believe should be honored (think the harriet tubman coin set right now)#and representing beauty and innovation and culture through representation of the states#only through that lens to swing back around and have fake people on the coins again in the form of the freaking dc trinity. insane to me#no one ever gets me when im nerding out over coins its okay. at least its not postage stamps (i actually do have some special postage stamps#its like 1 sheet though it was for the 2017 eclipse and the image changes from totality to the moon with the heat of your finger theyre so#cool okay) anyways i like dont really know that much abt coins lol i originally saw a post abt this on reddit 💀 lol and had to check this#was real which is insane. anyways my dad got my all my coin stuff ive got a proof set from the year i was born albums to hold the 50 states#and national parks (america the beautiful but its 90% natl park designs lets be honest here) quarter collections as i find them irl#(dont have an album for us women yet sadly but do have some of the coins) as well as a few dimes and other circulation albums i havent used#much. and then i have a few collectibles like the hubble telescope $1 coin the 50th anniversary apollo 11 one and the 2021 anniversary peace#dollar. though like not the gold ones or anything like that lol but yeah. i talk abt coins every once and a while with friends and i know#things but then my dad is in the car and its like nevermind lol.#also put a ? after damian's name bc theres a chance it could be dick and they just used the wrong picture. because some of the character#bios had names but his didnt and seemed very dick grayson (acrobatics mention “batman's partner” etc) but not so specfic exclude either one#and the pick was damian. but then the ollie pick was goateeless for some reason so who knows#culturally dick is more important but dami is current so idk#dc comics#blah#ive really been learning so much today. first all in announcement and subsequent leaks and now this. what a ride#also love how im anticipating and know future comics things lol. when did that happen haha. ive really transitioned from only reading back#issues and never knowing current events to following a lot of releases lol and somehow finding out about the freaking coin collection...#crazy how that happens#cant scroll up at that first image without losing it a bit still actually. what a world we live in. anyways take your bets who is gonna be
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oh my god i got so emotional SHUT UUUUUP
#911#911verse#evan buckley#so this is what crying about a character is actually like#like i do be crying at times dont get me wrong#but i just love buck so much. i kept stopping the episode and going. omg omg omg#omg its happening. omg idk if i can actually watch this. omg its happening !!!!!!!!!!!#jesus christ JESUS CHRIST#like i know we throw the word around a lot but this is MY SON#and everything that happened in the episode. it was like it was happening to me#i felt actual physical damage and actual butterflies as the kiss moment approached#like theY DID THAT#THEY MADE MY BI SON CANONICALLY BI#idk to have this shift in a characters perception this late in a procedural….. 911 you gods#i really hope they can somehow make more seasons cause they would deserve ti#it. and like. this doesn’t have to be the end of buddie??#they could get them together at any time bc buck realizing hes into men is a lot other worm can than buck realizing hes in love with#his best friend. i just dont know how they would do it with eddie bc they would have to pull a lot of focus over there too with a big#chance of feeling repetitive with their narratives#maybe they just show them together after a timejump and say they worked some stuff out idk lmao#ANYWAY I AM STILL CRYING BECAUSE BUCK MY SON IS A CANONICAL BISEXUAL JEALOUS DISASTER JUST LIKE HIS MAMA ❤️#THIS IS WHAT REPRESENTATION IS ACTUALLY ALL ABOUT (and i mean his horrifying handling of the feelings of being left out of course lmao)#THE LOOK EDDIE SHOT HIM TOO#i am too frazzled rn i just need to scream i think#hi. im sorry this is me coming out of the 911 closet now that wwdits is on hiatus#evan buckley!!!!!#SON OF MY SONS#LIGHT OF MY LIFE#APPLE OF MY EYE
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I think I just guaranteed queen of nothing by the crane wives a place in my spotify wrapped tonight because of time princess
#so basically im in an inactive society that wasnt always inactive#and i became leader without trying to#i was just chilling and somehow racked up the highest contribution without trying to and then the last leader went offline#and i dont even know who the last leader was#i dont 100% stories and ive got almost every companion at level 10 or higher#ive crafted virtually every blueprint i have that i like and played every story im interested in#i was just waiting for the next event forever. after the shock wore off becoming society leader gave me smth to do in this game#while making me realize we'd become v inactive#twilight's crown had recently come out and i found that fitting#i pour hundreds of materials into time goddess because i dont use them for anything else#i spent 400 diamonds on fantasy promise like one girl can get the whole team out of prelude when no one else has above 1k starlight points#i put so much into an inactive society. i know i should leave#but part of me keeps going ''and just abandon my people''?#it's not like leaving will send me back to having nothing to do. i can keep putting this energy into an active society#and get my moneys worth#which never really crossed my mind until tonight#i know not to cling to obvious lost causes. i've seen what happens when you do.#still feel bad about ditching when i'm the only one who still shares codes in chat#but they can do the same thing.#maybe i should encourage them to.#i'm thinking stay until fantasy promise ends#and/or until i've got this last piece of this society set crafted (unless that takes too long and october happens before then)#(bc if i'm leaving i wanna be in an active society by the time sprint rolls around)#and then screenshot the society id in case i cant find somewhere better and choose to come crawling back#ok i have rambled about this in my phone and notebook 3 times and each one has made me more certain of my decision to leave#everyone in the dutp discord says i need a new society#anyways#i needed to talk about that somewhere#queen of nothing has been on loop in my headphones for an hour
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Less than an hour before the mcelroy selfie & signing
I'm a little nervous
#speculation nation#havent had any caffeine bc ive been having too much of that lately. and it's a shorter day.#so im a bit sleepy. but at least the active nausea is better than it was a bit ago#(waking up so early several days in a row And having them be such physically strenuous days is. hard on the body.)#anyways. yeah. the mcelroys.#i mean ultimately theyre just some guys. but im not good at talking with strangers Anyways#and ive enjoyed their stuff for a good bit now. so. it's intimidating.#but i know theyre nice people. and ultimately all i Really need to do is give them what i want signed and take the pic#but there is opportunity for brief conversation. and i want to try asking them if they remember an anecdote from when my sister saw them#it was a good bit ago so i'll preface it with 'this might be a bit of a longshot but'#the anecdote being that when my sister asked for an autograph for 'Fanny' Clint started writing 'Best Fanny'#before travis was like 'uhhh maybe add a comma there' hfkshfkd#ultimately it WAS such a small moment. and actually thinking about it i dont know if i want to ask them actually.#bc if they Dont remember. which they likely dont. well then that's awkward for all of us.#...but also even if they dont remember it's still a funny story.#and if they Do somehow remember i can be like 'Hello i am that Fanny'#the thing is that theyre people with good humor. so i dont think theyd be upset at me asking.#and maybe theyd even find it funny. even if they dont remember.#i can give no guarantees that i will even try to do this bc i might end up so petrified in the moment that i cannot do it#but i will try my best. aughhgjhg i wish i wasnt passively nausous rn!!! not making it easier!!!#and somehow it's now 40 minutes away AAAAAAAAAAAGH
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feels weird to not have much to post, i feel like i basically disappeared off social media compared to how i used to post but. there is simultaneously so much going on (things that are boring/heavy and not fun to post about) and nothing at all going on (i have not been able to play anything very much and havent been watching anything besides random documentaries i stumble across), leading to me having nothing to say lmao
i did finally write down a bunch of hypixel worldbuilding headcanon junk instead of having it only be word-of-mouth between me and ark lol. only 1700 words, i can do better 👍 it was literally only about admin magic, what exactly it means to "hack," what a server is, and limbo kjgfhk. i might make a big post about the limbo section one day :]
#things that arent worth having their own post bc it's boring normal life stuff#I LOVE MY JOB!!!!!!!!! i've only worked one day but i had a lot of fun#and i like my coworkers. im scared of tomorrow tho bc my manager who has been guiding me around isnt gonna be there#so second day in and im already on my own DFGHKJG it'll be fine.........#also I GOT MY DESK ORDERED LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO. SOON I WILL BE BACK ON THE GRIND I WANNA PLAY SKYBLOCK SO BAD#i've only been able to play on weekends or at ark's ;-; pain and suffering i need somewhere to sit#also fun fact. remember how the house was full of mold. well there was ALSO a gas leak for the past couple weeks#my existence is a miracle#im blaming all past behaviors on this. im normal now dont worry 👍👍👍#i think i already mentioned this but my snes power cable is missing and i need a new one Pain And Suffering#on the brighter side of my old games. i found by gbc! AND THE BATTERIES STILL WORK SOMEHOW LMAO#i can finally do a miserable gen 2 shiny hunt yippeeeeee#trying to find my gameboy copy of tetris attack but i dont see it anywhere 😔#uhhhh yeah that's about it i guess. been busy with sorting out work stuff and money problems and Everything Else#currently taking care of health stuff i havent done in years. time for dentist today wahoo#gonna try to get an eye exam soon. it's been like. a decade-#im not sure my vision is still 20/20 im having trouble reading some things digitally#billboards are fine. electronic ones are not those are just smudges#i dont know enough about eyes to know what that could be#chat
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Every now and then I replay the first episode of VLD and I wonder why I thought it be a good show lol
#mostly just the part where Allura is assigning pilots to lions#why lol. the first five people who show up are just perfect fits?? hate it lol#i have no au plot ideas but itd have made more sense to draw out the forming of voltron. like for a longer time. like its the s1 finale#and to be traveling looking for appropriate pilots#or the s2 finale? like what if the original gang somehow stayed in contact despite not being Voltron paladins and they proved being the best#team despite not piloting immediately. i feel like a stronger plot of their forming teamwork outside of being Voltron would have also made#their friendships seem more real too lmao#like what if Lance IS Blue's pilot bit hes the only one for a long time. the other lions couldn't actually *just be* located#*but. not bit. and what if Pidge runs off in a stolen vessel to find her dad and brother. what if Shiro isnt.. so flat as a character and is#desperate to find his old team and runs off with them to help out and free others#Keith could somehow get involved with The Blades a lot sooner#and Hunk finds his footing as a leader in rebellion organization. i hate that he was just the funny guy allll the way thru#also (still not a plot bc my brain is unorganized lol) Allura doesnt die. Shiro actually gets to be gay with a husband. and we either need#to not make Lotor a villain or just go all out on making him the worst. i personally dont want him to be a villain bc it was stupid lol#also PULEEEAASE Lance is bi. Lance “I'm just getting a feel for the stick” *obsessed with his rival who doesnt even know he exists* McClain#i want to see him get over his crush on Allura within like 6 episodes and then see him making out with the mermaids then Keith when everyone#starts reuniting lol. my bicon Lance deserves to kiss mermaids like we all do and then get on when the otp lol#now im nostalgic for s1 VLD vibes. ya know. before hell lol#it really just gets worse after ... s3? everyone feels different. i usually tolerate up to about the end of s3 before i feel like its donezo#aunt posting#vld#voltron: legendary defender
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I
<3
In between arc (kinda) episodes
Pt. 3
#so MOMOS GRANDPA IS ALIVE??? AND PLUTON IS HERE SO ROBIN LIED TO CROCODILE IN ARABASTA! QUEEN#THE NEW ADMIRAL JUST KILLED QUEEN AND MAYBE KING (PLEASE DONT!!) AND IS CALLING FOR A WARSHIP TO KILL LUFFY#oh luffy grabbing kid akdhaksj reluctant friend maker they call him... wdym youre going to kill me... come here lets smush cheeks#luffy is such a humble king.... also why am i crying here thinking how everything is so brautiful (and otsuru is alive) and i have to find#out buggy is a yonkou. what the hell did he do against the marines akdbaisbsks ????? HOW????#ofc luffy is obvious.... also the admiral could roam arund wano a little and grow some plants all over... it is needed after all...#take a breath.... meditate what you're going to do...#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1080#also why is jinbe in there alone??? also i thought pluton was nika but pluton is in wano??? metaphorically yes.... my theory is in shambles#SHANKS???? 'momo and hiyori must have grown' well... recent update actually...#yamato got him!!!! fuck yes!!!#yasopp isnt ready to see usopp???? well boohoo... also why does this guy care about kid... nvm shanks got his arm i forgor xd#so shanks new about the fruit.... bc not even whos who knows...#barto burning shanks flag omg akdhsks#SABO KILLED COBRA???? that has to be a setup.... kuma escaped!!!! sabo is more popular than dragon somehow??? its bc he actually does stuff#MOMO CAN MAKE FIRE?? well kinda... shanks goes for the one piece.... what's in the air??? like you didn't have time before???#once again i <3 in between arc episodes.... i love getting fed new info....#nami new sharpshooter usopp step aside... and with one hand only... oh nvm.... it is rigged then#episode 1082#law and robin ponebesties.... jack gyojin???? also that is such a way to construct a city... wth RED PONEGLYPH!!! 3/4!!!#opening the frontiers frees the weapon.... inch resting also did luffy talk to him??? yamato could hear him because of the king's haki???#what is up with shank's haki.... jesus christ.... they were just watching lmao luffy can feel shanks omg.....#did he just leave or does he need the poneglyph still???#episode 1083
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the writing fanfic to "huh? this doesn't seem like how romance is normally written" to "am i somewhere on the aro spectrum" to "oh god the reason i dont identify w the generic aro label is bc i need a microlabel" to "fuck i need to rewrite this whole fic" pipeline
#mimin trying to write#anyway i discovered the microlabel platoniromantic#which means you cant tell the difference between romantic and platonic love#genuinely never understood why and how people differentiated between romance and strong platonic love#wym you dont want to marry your close friends and kiss them and cuddle them and give them everything you have#no its not romance in the normal sense bc i feel the same way for multiple of my friends at once and if they hv other ppl im not jealous#unless it means they have less time for me#like??? marriage is still necessary bc you do not do this with normal friends. but its not romance?????????#anw tbh ive always headcanoned hestio as being on the aroace spectrum but wtv it is its not platoniromaticism#gg to throw that on him anw tho bc i want romance in this story somehow for The Themes#and its not like i know how to write romance any other way. or i wouldnt have gone down this rabbit hole to begin with#sorry bud!#anyway i guess ill be thinking about how to bring ephael into this#me writing tes/hes the whole time and being like scratches head where is ephael#does not seem right to write so much about hestio loving tesilid and vice versa but not exploring their bond w ephael at all#bc what is the difference...........#but ephael is so hard to write...... idk what goes on in his head...........#hestio is more straightforward his brain is not as twisty#sorry for the sudden personal crisis on my fandom blog#hestio's now a vehicle for me to explore myself i guess. sends him flying kisses youre my OC now#the good thing about small fandoms is that you dont have to care about mischaracterisation as much ig#also the bad thing abt small fandoms is that if you mischaracterise a char you actually will never find out. cries
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i just read the test drive fic with yuuta and i screamed when there was just hashtags after his text 😭😭 loved it so much istg, I'm praying you get the chance to work on a pt2 soon but no rush, I'm enjoying your other posts, I'm so excited for the valentine's one!!! 💗💗
there will be more to the story, i just can't promise when i'll post it because i'm still figuring out how to frame it? i've tried writing the mirrored conversation w/ yuuta telling megumi, toge, and gojo about your marriage, but it doesn't feel right LOL so i'm shifting gears to more about reader and yuuta potentially navigating their divorce? which is really about me figuring out how yuuta wants to tell you that he wants to stay married 😭😭
#im trying to....#how do i say this#whenever i write yuuta it's always so much internal dialogue/thought and i have this (subconscious?) tendency to give him like...#yandere i guess is the overarching word LOL tendencies but not to his knowledge?#like he... when i write him i dont write him as thinking he's possessive but still somehow knowing that he's Too Much#none of that makes sense.... but this is all to say that writing dialogue for him is hard but writing paragraphs about his thought process#is way easier bc hes easier to word dump and then refine vs when i write dialogue its personality based and i guess what im saying is#even tho im giving him his thoughts i have a hard time putting them into his own words?#ANNIEWAYS the point is. he's easy to write hard to communicate with in my own writing......#whatever that means LMFAO#so in conclusion: i like writing yuutas pov but i struggle with his interpersonal interactions#also i am like... incapable of writing him in a large group/with more than two characters around.... in all my drafts he has lik#one conversation at one time#i just i just... process him very intimately? can u tell i love him........#i also write satoru the same way........#but megumi and yuuji are the opposite?#this is getting long... i just love yuuta LOL
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oh you want to force the label "butch" on to me? well looks like its time to go back to strictly fucking cis men
#damn and i was really comin around too! too bad ig. yall know whats best or whatever you need to tell yourselves.#im a man. call me a gay man before you think of calling me that shit. call me EVERY slur one would call a gay man before ever calling me#ANYTHING NEAR a fucking lesbian of ANY variety.#i will stab women to prove a point to you until you fuck off.#we'll never be seen as equal to cis ppl till yall stop forcing identities on to people. literally doing the exact same shit cis ppl#do to me already but bc you tell yourself you're above it and woke n shit suddenly you're somehow different. fuck the entire fuck off.#until you can look at me and see me as just a fucking dude. we will never have equality. until you're able to STOP trying to see me as#ANYWHERE NEAR adjacent to women- we- as trans people- will never have equality.#and no i dont think that means lesbian = basically just women but it does subconsciously in plenty of yalls minds.#otherwise why tf would someone be saying trans men/butch as if they're equivalents? why cant you just say trans men?#or better yet and more accurate would be trans men and/or butches. bc otherwise using a dash in between trans man and butch#means you think they're the same thing and just different phrases for the same thing. thats what it means to use that dash#like that.#yall make being a stealth trans guy sound so much more appealing. if as soon as i mention im trans you start thinking#'butch' or 'afab' subconsciously and go on about the struggles of afabs or whatever then ig that means i gotta be stealth and never reveal#that im trans ever tf again bc yall STILL dont fucking get it.
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