#i dont know how ppl make actuall online friends

[cat-brrr]

.

[unovaslankiite]

Prolly gonna be my one and only rwde post (cus the fanbase is rancid and I'm not rlly a rwby fan, just a person who watches the show): some of you rwby fans are too comfortable using your queerness as a shield to silence BIPOC voices about the racist writing and your 'precious' bigoted CRWBY. You guys unironically act/think that just because you have to deal with queerphobia; you are IMMUNE to being bigoted yourself and you are INCAPABLE of parroting bigoted beliefs. Cus I know there will be a dumbass ant1-rwde posters who will try to drown out this post by saying its 'lies from the EVIL RWDE!!!': You would rather weaponize your queerness to bash on BIPOC voices, while claiming to care about our voices. You would rather be complicit with the racist writers and their racist writing, just because your racist writers gave you a queer ship. There is no shame nor issue in projecting the abused you suffered onto the characters, however you refuse to see through the characters and their writing through a BIPOC lens. You do not get the right to impose your perspective of the characters at the expense of BIPOC voices, you do not get to twist our voices to be alt-right bigots because we called out RWBY's rampant racism. You do not get the right to say you give a shit about BIPOC and have #BLM in your bio when you fervently defend your bigoted company. You do not get to pretend to care about racism when you buy merch off of your bigoted company. My fellow BIPOC (especially the queer BIPOC): why are you guys so comfortable dismissing your fellow poc about their discomfort with RWBY's racist writing? BIPOC are not a monolith with the same opinions about racism in media; but some of you guys are weirdly comfortable with turning a blind eye to your fellow BIPOC getting dogpiled by the white fandom. We can and will disagree, you not agreeing as a BIPOC about RWBY's racist writing is not what I take issue with. The issue lies within you upholding the racial colourblindness in the fandom; like how the fandom was ok with throwing the racism under the bus in favour of queerness, you are ok with throwing your BIPOC peers under the bus for white queerness. Sincerely, a POC who has been watching the fandoms rampant racism problem ever since 2019.

[puppppppppy]

if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified

[freakinator]

yknow with tthe whole cc!kab rping an actual character rather than just being herself with extra steps thing i should prbs talk about her character in a different way compared to other lsers cause it feels wrong to talk about her in the same way that i do for the others when she plays in such a significantly different way

[phagodyke]

in a hilarious turn of events my flatmate didn't even know I use any pronouns....

[snekdood]

saw a post yesterday that was like "if you dont have trans women as friends u gotta think about why that is" and i really had to restrain myself from saying "it goes both ways my friend!". if you dont have any trans men as friends, ya gotta think about why that is also!

[aroaceofthesea]

Okay so i havent completely come to terms with it yet but WE WON THE HP CODEWARS (a coding competition in teams) AND WERE ACTUALLY GOING TO HOUSTON TO COMPETE IN NEXT YEAR'S COMPETITION WHAT

[phoebespenglers]

ok maybe i just. don't have social skills then huh

[irunaki]

I wanted to thank you all so so much for all the kindness its honestly even a bit overwhelming to have so many ppl to like me but this is not a complaint at all

Thank you so much to everyone who wished me a happy birthday, who drew something for me, that means much more than you could ever imagen💕💕💕

My cake( my mom made it :3 )

also i just wanted to say that i love love so much everyone that i am around of, i seriously cant tell how much i love my family and my irl friends, i know they prob wont see this cuz they dont have tumblr but im sure they know how much i love them and how much they make me feel special

I recieved so many gifts and i love them all, and i feel so loved when i see that they are actually things that are like me, like who choose it and gave it to me knows me and its just a feeling behold words how i feel to get them.

Thank you so much to everyone who was with me today, both online and in real life, you mean the world to me 🫶

[genderqueerdykes]

re : cishet men allies

im an arab muslim and my country is *not* great for queer ppl, as in its a jailable offense. when i was 16 i started to realize i liked girls and was internally freaking the FUCK out especially because of the only two queer people i knew, one was my crush and the other had kinda ditched me so i couldnt talk to either about it

the first person i ever came out to a cishet dude, an at the time recent close friend. i dont remember what he said anymore, i think it was something along the "thats totally ok and normal" spiel lines, but i do remember his tone of voice. it was soft and calming and really warm, exactly what i needed at the time. i talked to him about my crush for the rest of the year and it was just. all really nice and normal. one time our professor started making homophobic comments in class and my friend started miming mockery at him from behind his back. we were quiet about it, but we kinda had to be. the company was really all that mattered

a year or so later i told another cishet dude, friend of the first one actually. he also accepted me wholeheartedly. i was calling myself a bi lesbian at the time and i truly did not expect him to understand that but he really surprised me !! not only was he really chill about it, more chill than most queer ppl online, he said he knew someone else who was like that. i didnt know i was trans at the time, but i did have a chosen name that i tentatively introduced to him as like a maybe sort of nickname. even though i introduced it as a silly joke more than anything, he actually did call me that now and then

sincerely i would be a lot worse off without those two. we drifted apart but they were so fucking important in keeping me sane those years

that is absolutely incredible, i am so happy to hear that, holy shit. i can only imagine how isolating it would've been to go through that with no one to talk to about it. i'm glad that you had not only one, but two supportive cishet allies in your life, and especially as one who was totally chill about you coming out as a bisexual lesbian. that incredible, i'm so glad you had that during such a scary time

the thing i like to point out is i don't think it's fair to assume that everyone in a country with queerphobic laws agrees with those laws. it feels racist to me for someone to imply that the vast majority of people in a given country are inherently queerphobic just because of the laws of their governments. sure there will be some who agree, but plenty who don't. i'm glad that even though it's dangerous for you to be queer there, you have had support. stay safe, take care of yourself

[damagedcoda6669]

how did youknow youbhad bpd? what were the main "symptoms" ?? soryif it comes off as personal or uncomfy you dont hsveto answer

(im rlly rlly rlly autistic abt bpd PREPARE 4 AN ENTIRE BIBLE ABT HOW I DISCOVERED I HAD IT)

ive exhibited symptoms of bpd my entire life (it usually starts 2 present in childhood or early adulthood, it comes from childhood abuse/neglect) i only started 2 notice something was wrong in my tweens/early teens, when malachi became my favorite person and every1 was calling me mentally ill and weird and obsessive. ive known my entire life i was neurodivergent (first started therapy at 6 or 7, diagnosed with bipolar + autism + adhd + depression + anxiety RLLY early on) but there was something else that felt wrong 2 me. at that age i didnt rlly know what 2 search 4 or who 2 talk 2, so i just went on google and searched "love disorders" and obsessive love disorder came up (which isnt even in the DSM iirc) and i posted on google plus saying i likely had that and was shot down IMMEDIATELY 4 "self diagnosing" so i didnt revisit it again until a few years later.

after my breakup in 2021 i felt like it hurt WAY MORE than was normal. i stumbled across a video abt bpd during that time period and it resonated with me way 2 much. im impulsive, i have angry outbursts, im constantly suicidal, i self harm, i have extreme mood swings, i dont know who i am and ive always just mirrored other ppl, i dissociate, i have black and white thinking, i view ppl as all good or all bad and i split, i have consistently unstable relationships, i get attached 2 ppl more than i should be, and i have a paralyzing, nauseating fear of abandonment. i have every symptom in the diagnostic criteria.

i brought up the possibility of me having bpd with my mom i think (i had no one else 2 go 2 becuz all of my friends abandoned me and my parents took away my internet access) and i was shot down again, with my mom saying the CLASSIC "(insert family member) has bpd and shes crazy. ur normal. stop pretending theres something wrong with u. if u had bpd u'd be vindictive and petty and evil. do u think ur those things?"

once i figured out how 2 get my internet access back, maryland dude forced the bpd label on2 me becuz he wanted 2 explain my "abusive" behaviors (he was abusing me but tried 2 gaslight me in2 thinking i had a victim complex and that it was the other way around) and i became uncomfortable with the label becuz he made it seem like if i had bpd then i was a bad person. i continued researching the disorder becuz it still resonated with me even though i was now insecure abt it.

i became comfortable with the label again after he abandoned me, and i brought it up with my therapist. my therapist would HEAVILY DENY that i had bpd, telling me that "if u had bpd u would be attempting suicide 4 attention" "u fit the diagnostic criteria but ur autistic so all of ur symptoms can just be attributed 2 autism srry" "ive had clients with bpd and if u were like them u wouldve had an outburst in my office and be yelling at me by now" and she would even smile at me whenever i brought up my bpd becuz she thought it was funny that i thought i had it, i think. the first time i brought it up with her she told me "its rlly irresponsible 2 self diagnose after reading liek two articles online abt some extreme disorder becuz u think ur broken. ur not broken. dont self diagnose with bpd" and i had to EXPLAIN 2 HER that i wasnt self diagnosing and that id researched it in depth 4 years actually and that she was making assumptions. horribly ableist towards ppl with cluster b disorders, this is a MASSIVE RED FLAG but i didnt switch therapists becuz i was still living with my parents at this point and i felt out of control in every aspect of my life 4 this reason, i didnt even see switching therapists as an option.

then in 2023, while i was homeless, i got evaulated by a psychiatrist. i discussed my bpd with him and finally got diagnosed. i told my therapist i was diagnosed with bpd and she said something like "well im not always gonna be able 2 catch everything" BUT I WAS TELLING U ABT MY BPD 4 MONTHS!!!!! so glad i dont have that therapist anymore but now i dont have one at all, so liek.. hrmmm >:c

im gonna end this by saying.. self diagnosis is valid!!! its so hard 2 get a bpd diagnosis becuz its so demonized and stigmatized, that even those in the mental health system r ableist towards the disorder and those who have it. diagnosis is not always an option with disorders like bpd, and thats so frustrating. its so hard 2 find help becuz every1 thinks ur crazy. but ur not crazy!!! i love all my fellow bpders, i know how agonizing and it is 2 live this tormented life. if u suspect u have bpd, the bpd community welcomes u and supports u!!! and i do 2 :3

[eff-ston3mblogs]

ok quick rant and please like if you agree or relate or something so I don’t feel alone on this bc im gonna delete this anytime

1. Tumblrs whole rebrand isn’t accurate to the 2010s at all. im taking in scroll on the 2014 grunge tag and 1/30 post are actually accurate 2010s content. Like looks like it belongs on an old blog.

2. why EDs are being popular again. Honestly eating disorders never left obviously but it’s becoming popular to have one in the main media again. Of course there not out right saying ppl should have ed but like I can’t be going crazy here. I have nooo history with eating disorders at all except for that one summer when I didn’t eat much but that was just my appetite I didn’t actually want to starve myself. But these past couple of months I’ve been developing a small one and all these big back jokes DONT help. i might be at school and skip lunch because the school cafeteria makes me uncomfortable/ I don’t like seeing ppl eat or ppl seeing me eat; so when im starving in another class and I have the courage to maybe eat a candy bar and some random person calls me big like what?? also other things like ozempic and coke and honestly even tumblr making a comeback contributes to ppl getting eating disorders and even though I love the fandoms and community’s on here it’s an undeniable fact that the toxic side of tumblr is STILL here. I try my best personally not to show or promote eating disorders because they ARE deadly and horrible but I want to come clean about how I’ve been thinking or seeing things lately.

3.Bullying IS BACK

bullying has gotten so much worse it’s insane. A couple months ago when I first started this blog I was getting bullied and no one believed me except my mom. i couldn’t stand up for my self or tell anyone. and it has effected me a lot; the point of bullying is to change someone because they don’t fit a standard. and omg even online like why are we so mean. the other day i was talking to someone and the thing is I don’t have a lot of friends and the group I do have I don’t talk to about how I feel because I don’t think they would take it serious. And I told them about a time when someone made fun of me for liking a show and they laughed and said they were make fun of me to. and how if they didn’t know me they would bully me for believing in stuff like genuinely being kind to your friends and others.

4 sorry for the yap sessions guys

💗🌙💗🌙💗🌙💗🌙💗🌙💗🌙💗🌙💗🌙💗

[valla-chan]

Was looking at that recent 'girlhood is a spectrum' post and it's wild how common it is for trans women to lose like huge chunks of memories from when they were a kid due to such strong detachment. I assumed this was a lot less common than it is but it's also quite validating in a way.

The level of memory I have for my childhood is never very strong but never totally gone either, I have all the resulting mental affects and hobbies and speech patterns and interests and stuff still, and I do strongly remember playing various games and whatnot but a lot of IRL occurrences are either wiped or hold no emotional significance for me. A lot of photos I remember the photo being taken or shown or edited but I don't remember how I felt or being at that location unless I've been back there more recently.

I really dont think cis ppl understand that growing up trans basically means that your entire sense of self and belonging in the world is disrupted from the moment you are old enough to be aware of your own body and social role?

I would say "I don't know why it feels so traumatic to grow up this way" but I think that realistically I've heard enough people talk about it that I kinda do now, which is that when it comes to gender roles, trans women are basically considered the most undesirable thing you can be, especially when being "male" is always seemingly on the table of possibilities of how to be, and that is basically the most desirable role for others to put you in. And being that basically requires that you throw away all personhood as you were meant to be and want to be, in favor of causing no waves.

And it's like... That shit never really goes away for a huge chunk of your life? As a kid I wasn't even aware I was even doing it! but looking back it feels so intentional, that even though I didn't know the reason, the mechanisms that enforce masculinity and suppress femininity were acting up on me from day one. And you subconsciously have this feeling that something is wrong but it's never validated, never discussed, rarely even ever made aware of let alone FELT, ffs.

I felt like an observer for my life, a pair of eyes that would eventually turn into a person, or maybe not... And I loved activities where my self could be expressed through things I Did rather than who I Was. Providing thongs for others to make them happy, creating content on the early web, being good at school and getting good grades, etc etc... you learn to Be what you Do, you learn to Be what you are Not, you learn to Hate what you Are.

And I really do mean that, I really did learn to hate what I was, iirc! It seems all too common that trans women would have an interest in women's culture, such as fashion, female puberty, sex appeal, identity, anything that could be put through a male-enough lens to pass as something normal to other males in your peer group and family, even if done with this constant layer of irony and uncertainty and emptiness...

And now it feels like that was all a dead end. The person I do remember being, from when I dig deep into what I do remember, is basically not a lot like me outside of hobbies/interests and humor and masking.

Really who I am now is actually based on the complete opposite of who I was as a kid, which is to say, I took everything I liked that I wasn't socially allowed to, and I shoved that onto an abstracted female character in my brain for safekeeping.

When I look back even harder I remember that I even had alternate account for her online which I would use to have conversations with myself or my friends to see how it was to give these thoughts a voice or something. It's hard to recall the reason, except I guess, I suppose, that there was no outlet; no other way for these ideas to escape without driving me crazy since I didn't know transition was even possible let alone an option for little personless me, how am I supposed to adapt my identity if I don't have one? (Checkmate liberals)

And I guess ultimately it's all been said by people more eloquent than me, it's all been gone over in my own head already, but I think everyone's story is worth something, and I need to learn to value my own for what it is. I wish that I could learn more from what I was crushing down and putting aside onto fake characters and projecting onto others... Maybe more so than learning, id like to experience it. But there's no real way to go back to childhood, let alone one that I made up to cope with my real one, despite my real one being pretty damn cushy on the outside (aside from some shit but this post is not about Fathers and whatnot)

Cause right now I feel like I don't really have a relevant childhood to point back to or take comfort in, aside from origins of hobbies and other material interests. It's not comforting. No matter how many facts and images I do manage to dredge up, I don't Feel it. Even the sweetest memories I can fish up actually hold... basically no emotion. I've done shrooms, and seen my friends access and address pivotal moments of.their childhood while tripping, and coming out the other end refreshed. For me it's just blank slate, but I still feel like a kid. (Fulfilling in its own way yeah, but 2 bad trips has deterred me from going back to that for quite some time now.)

Now I guess I'm at the point where this is something I become aware of quite often and feel quite sad over. Something akin to derealization took a lot of my early 20s as well, and with all these things combined, I feel like I don't really know how I got here- despite the fact that I can trace it back through events and factually say, yeah, that's how it all went down. I've seen those services where you can upload childhood photos and have them photoshopped to be the opposite gender in order to help relive dysphoria over past... And I won't lie I have considered it, just to see! But it would be fake... It would be like acknowledging that I am fake, or something. Or that I literally come from a rebound of suppressed emotions that boiled over, rather than actual lived experiences (once again excluding most hobbies cause those are tried and true. Keep feeling the need to put this disclaimer as it it matters.)

And like, I dont want to be fake. I don't even really want to be trans, I don't think I ever wanted to be, I just wanted to be myself from the get-go. I personally subscribe both to born in the wrong body and identity changed over time cause realistically it's like, both? There was no belonging in my body, only crude fascination in what a mess everything was; how nothing seemed to align to anything I was supposed to be, despite never once actually realizing that for myself. For a long time that being funny was enough to get me by.

So I guess to make this post worthwhile, because I desperately want to ask this:

How do y'all cope? This is not rhetorical, btw. How do fellow trans ppl, esp transfems but really including any mostly fully transitioned person, deal with this feeling of not really having a past or at least one that feels applicable? How do you rationalize and happily exist with the knowledge that your personal development happened through made up characters and unassuming daydreams? How do you learn to connect and live your younger self when you hated him (/her) even while being them, and who actively sabotaged your own existence for safety reasons?

I feel like I've had about 5 years out of my 25 to get up to speed on what type of person I am, as to not waste any more of my youth before it's gone. I feel like I should have had 2 decades of this like everyone else; like my age suggests. I feel like I got cheated out of experiencing life as a human being that had time to develop and find myself before having to worry about money and independence and adulthood.

I have an ask sitting in my askbox asking about my favorite story from highschool and I would absolutely love to tell a story but it wouldn't be a story about me. I don't have that many stories about me. I don't know what to talk about when people talk. How do y'all cope with the feeling of it? Can you? How do you be okay with having childhood toys that mean something to you but you can't recall moments with them? How do you love your family to that normal level when you only remember key events? How do you come to terms with never having been to school as yourself? How does any of this ever get resolved??? I cannot bear to keep wishing and yearning to be present in my own past without being vocal about it, how do you do it y'all???

Hope you liked the random images from my phone, I wanted to make this post more fun to read than a giant text wall lol. Happy holidays and good luck to all people who are struggling to reconcile identity, self, family, and this time of year!

Please reblog, this may be a personal post but I am hoping it connected ya with others!

[nikadd]

honestly bc i've been online for like i wanna say 17 years now and know how to avoid thing i dont wanna see, i've purposefully been avoiding any and all bucktommy spaces on here since abt 7x05's release.

all of it became super annoying to me, esp when ppl started like actively following lfjr and paying for his cameos. (any and all overfamiliarity w actors/writers is always a red flag to me, which is why i kinda pulled out of ofmd fandom even before s2 aired really, and why spn conventions never matter to me, esp while the show was still on.) ppl were blowing the whole bucktommy relationship out of proportion when it was clearly always going to be just a temporary thing from the beginning, and i felt like i was just gonna be unnecessarily mean to ppl for pointing things out, when everybody was so fucking kumbaya "let people enjoy things" and "let ppl enjoy their ships" shebang. but things were going bad! so i pulled out.

ppl were sending hate to those who didnt like tommy and calling them homophobic and that we only dont like him bc he's "in the way" - when in reality it's bc we didnt like that the show brought back a vocally bigoted and annoying character from the past and gave him a cosmetic facelift for his personality w/out any real reckoning/attention paid to what happened back then. ALSO lfjr himself has quite a few skeletons in the closet w his weird ass instagram AND just genuinely abysmal actor/audience relationship ethics w the whole cameo thing.

furthermore, even without showing what tommy was like before (which i'm sure would have been a red flag for buck if they fucking addressed it, but they were cowards abt it - and gerard too but that's another convo,) there were so many moments that pointed towards how buck and tommy didn't fit well together (i could make a list here but i dont want to come off as more condescending than i already think i am coming off), and yet i kept seeing ppl overemphasize the parts that were good or find excuses for why the negative was actually a positive - in a v derisive way, btw. "well, in real life this would be good." "well, REAL gay ppl are like that." "well, [another character] would have said that too." all those kinds of things. and also we were somehow wrong to complain or point those things out bc again "it's abt ships" "yall are homophobic" "yall only care abt eddie"

(like i'll admit that some buddies were also reacting to things like they've never seen a temporary ship in the wild before and some were overreacting abt certain things that tommy said, but it was nowhere close. the whole fandom is fascinating to me ngl.)

AND ppl were calling buddies homophobic for merely headcanoning eddie as gay (when literally right before buck and tommy kissed buck's bisexuality was also a headcanon) just bc they felt like it was "fetishizing" to ship two friends as if male friendship is under attack (which is such a weird thing to believe in when there's no real evidence for it) all bc they felt threatened that if eddie was also gay then it there wouldn't be a reason to not somehow have buck and eddie get together. like i dont see this as anything else than defensiveness masked under desire for proper representation. SO MANY of bucktommy fans were just the same ppl who hop from one white m/m ship to another. there were so many BUDDIES that hopped over bc i guess it was just abt seeing two men kiss for them.

anyways. the vibes have been horrendous this entire summer hiatus and the past few weeks too. i am sure they would have sped up the breakup if s7 had their regular 18 instead of 10, so i almost wish they had done so so i didn't have to witness ppl create a whole world of fanfiction and develop a whole host of headcanons and hope for a future for a ship that was never going to last.

and like i guess i am genuinely sorry for everybody who feels like they were led on but i dont have sympathy for lfjr and for ppl who were trying to BNF themselves within the fandom by gaslighting ppl who just wanted to enjoy a ship. ppl have been walking around with their holier than thou attitudes abt having a canon ship and saying that buddies are just jealous and delusional but even if we were, then what is it worth? peace and love on planet earth but yall are not serious people. if you wanna stop watching the show, feel free to do so, but dont act like 1) the breakup wasnt coming and 2) it was personal.

[imeriayapping]

hey!!! how are you doing?

ohmygosh for the liloscar imagine liam having a seat in the alpha tauri and logan and oscar don't have a proper friendship anymore and liam and logan get super close since they were team mates in f2 (i think??? i dont follow them unfortunately but ill read anything you write all ur ideas are fantastic) and then oscar gets jealous like that should be me so he goes to logan and they get in an argument abt this and they both basically declare their love for each other and then logan gets all confused and shaken up because he thought he had a good thing with liam going on and now his feelings are all confused to he talks to liam about it and he says he likes logan too but they want to focus on their careers so they put a pin on it or smth and then later on oscar finds liam in a little breakdown because of his seat and the rumours if he's good enough to move up to rb or if he's gonna be replaced mid season and oscar knows how it feels like to never have ur seat confirmed to move up and basically being treated like shit bc of alpine so he goes and comforts him and liam's like huh ohmygosh how nice and he grows feelings for him too so they all like each other and bam: relationship

and then there could be little snippets of ppl on social media posting abt them because they keep their relationship public but private so they never say anything abt it and ppl just speculate and it's never confirmed

sorry for the ramble, have a lovely day 💕

Don't apologise for your rambling it was amazing to read!!!!

But i would probably go a bit different about it, maybe Logan got that second alpha tauri seat so now they can actually spend time together while his friendship with oscar went a bit still. It takes effort from both sides to keep up texting or meetups and getting into f1 made it harder for them. And then there was last year with Williams that hit Logan pretty hard so keeping in touch was hard. Oscar not really reaching out first, too wrapped in his own team did affect this too.

So now Logan is constantly in close proximity to liam and they are back to their f2 flirting and all that. Oscar mostly see that online in pr vids that they make or something like that and it annoys him because it wasn't like that even with Alex so he gets snappy in any interactions they have which is strange and highly unusual for oscar.

And one too many comments bring logan and oscar into some far away location, maybe even one evening when they stay in the same hotel or something. At first it's very still and tense conversation, but then oscar let something slip and it actually angers logan bc he wasn't there for Logan when everything was shit and liam did so there no reason for him to act like this. Then he admits his feelings not noticing the slip bc of how furious he is. Oscar answers also very heated that he in fact also have feelings for Logan and it all goes on.

They don't do anything about it because Logan needs some space to think but now they at least acknowledged attraction between them which is something

Logan talks to liam about all of this bc they both know that something is there but just never talked about it. And above all else liam is his friend so they literally just talk about it like "i know that i like you and that you like me too but here this thing with oscar and i have no fucking idea what to do" and in the end they decide to just wait till summer break when they can have some uninterrupted time together and see what will come from that

And then happens part with liam breaking down (maybe because he already with rb for so long but now that logan is also here they have practically same treatment and not really any prospects for rb seat bc yuki now have it?)and oscar and liam open their eyes toward eachother and then they all actually get to the relationship part during summer break hehe

[bfwonho]

AITA but i dont wanna use reddit

ok you know what here is the situation. my (only recently) 20 yr old friend (i met them four years ago when we both worked at mcd) lived with their strict, emotionally abusive, overprotective parents until recently. their parents would confiscate tech for yrs at a time, wouldn't let them get vaccinated (i had to help them do that), guilt and shame them, etc. also obviously homophobic and my friend is transfem nb and queer. theyre also the eldest sibling of quite a few and had to handle the pressure of that responsibility and their parents never wanted them to do normal things like getting a car and moving out. i was always there encouraging them even when we stopped working together bc i was like fuck this naive gullible homeschooled kid has no one and they remind me of my younger sibling and im gonna be there for them as much as i can. the only reason they even got a car eventually is cus i kept telling them to so they cld move out

cut back to barely a year ago, they're still so naive and gullible they've lent like 1k+ to ppl who won't pay them back, but they still have like 10-20k in savings and now their own car. they also get into digital art with my help and get into furry porn or whatever. im like ok i guess ur an adult now do what u want. and then theyre like "ive got an online partner from CANADA!!! (we r australian) don't freak out i know it's bad but he's 30." i'm like oh god. they've been together 3 months ish and my friend RLY wants to visit their fuckass boyfriend and i'm like please be careful, please wait at least a year, i know u wont wanna listen to how i rly feel about this but at least just take these precautions. i'm also like when you do meet irl he should come here ur barely 19 and he's 30 like it only makes sense. and theyre like "thank u i promise i will do that"

and then maybe 10 or 11 months into their relationship i find out my friend is in canada with their bf, and has been for like a month, and i only know this bc they're asking if i can pick them up from sydney airport. im like errr that's pretty far away but take the train and i'll pick you up from the station and they're like ok sure! and i ask a bit more about it and find out they believe their parents have been hacking into their laptop because why else would they be suspicious that this canadian guy is their boyfriend, i'm like actually no offense but it's really fucking obvious i don't think they did that... and they're like "yeah anyway my parents are no longer picking me up which is why i need a lift, i admitted i have a boyfriend and they're calling him a pedo (and i almost agree but i just smile and nod) and so i'm not going back and taking their bs anymore, i'm gonna sleep in my car if i have to" so i offer for them to stay at my place for a few weeks.

they go get their stuff from their place, i buy them a pizza cus they havent had dinner, i help them get their stuff inside, set up a temporary bed. they tell me they plan to be out within a few days, i tell them they can stay longer if they need to, but currently their only job is doordash and they should focus on getting a real job so they can find a place and i'm more than happy to help them find somewhere. theyre the type of person to say sorry for everything and not let themselves ever feel comfortable, so i make sure they know they can use the kitchen and bathroom and everything while they're here and to not feel like a huge burden, im gonna be charging them a tiny bit of rent anyway so yeah.

now tell me why it's been over a month, they've applied to only a few places, i specifically put in a good word with them at my job and told them to call back and ask about the application and they just haven't, they've just been doordashing and filling my entire fridge and cupboard with their food, i tell them to use the laundromat cus we don't have enough space for their washing too and they end up asking if they can use our washing machine anyway (i reluctantly say yes), they destroy all my kitchen sponges on washing this one shitty pan i have cus they have to cook an entire grand meal from scratch for breakfast lunch and dinner, they wash up but i'm the only person who cleans the floors and the bathroom so now i'm feeling cramped and stressed out...

i ask my mum about what to do, she says give them 2 weeks to move out, my mum is a guarantor on my lease so in the group chat i explain the situation and say they have 2 weeks, they NEVER RESPOND and start not coming home until late at night... i'm considering moving into another place with a friend atp so i'm like yo maybe you can get on this lease and THEN they respond and start showing up again... and today i called and updated mum on the situation and her partner got on the phone, me and my sibling only got this place cus he apparently called in a favour cus we were rly struggling to find any fucking housing, and so he says "tell him i mean THEMMM if theyre not out tomorrow i will forcibly remove them" and so my sibling makes sure to tell them this face to face so they cant avoid actually responding. i also find out today that this whole time they've been flat broke (to the point they had to borrow my money just to get petrol despite doordashing like 40 hours a week) because they HAVE BEEN HELPING. PAY. THEIR GROWN ASS. SHITTY FUCKING USELESS. PARTNERS. RENT. THIS GROWN ASS MAN NOT ONLY HAD THEM PAY TO GO SEE HIM AND SUCK HIM OFF AND COOK FOR HIM. NOT ONLY WAS LETTING THEM GO BACK TO AUSTRALIA AND JUST BE HOMELESS. BUT HE IS ACTIVELY TAKING THEIR FUCKING MONEY. despite all of this i am deep down INCREDIBLY GLAD that my mum's partner put his foot down to get them out of my house and i feel guilty about it despite risking eviction cus im breaking my lease agreement by having them here loooll

tldr my 20 yr old friend has been living in my house illegally for over a month bc they refuse to go back to their shitty parents, they are however broke and don't have a stable job and their 30 yr old boyfriend is leeching off of them, and now i'm essentially kicking them out of my place within 2 days because my own housing security is at risk