#i dont know enough yet to have any idea of my bias

[yooniesim]

me walking into carat-land ten years late

"hmmm well now that I'm finally here, who could be my bias? after all this time of casual listening? well I already know vernon from social media osmosis, dk sings really well, woozi's also a candidate and- wait who's that????"

"OH GOD ITS DINO WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!!!"

[funnyscienceman]

Ok but like WHYY did ubisoft have to insist with the one game a year thing. Why couldnt they let syndicate cook in the oven more. Why do they have THREE queer men in the same game and not do ANYTHING with them!!!

Like yes, yes, i get it, i get wanting to for once make a story in a fun setting where you dont have to think about real life prejudice and hardships and bigotry and just have characters be silly, i love that too. I do! And id be all for that if doing it just didnt waste a potentially banger study of the characters and the setting ;-;

Like god i go back and forth on this constantly. I already love syndicate as it is, i think it's fun and neat and the happy gaming vibes about it is core to its identity, it's just that simultaneous to that, three queer men in the same game!!!

like GOD im still miffed that there are only, like, two or three fics about this, and so far i havent found any discussion or anything of it, but oh my god how different all three of them are from each other. You could do so much just with having any of them in the same room — and they are often enough in the same room (jacob and either ned or roth at a time), but nothing's really done there!

we have roth who sees fcking nothing wrong with getting kids hurt, because he doesnt actually care about anyone or anything, he's just some fucking joker wannabe that yeah, sure, probably has some anger and resentment at society because he's a gay man in his 40s or 50s by now, but jesus fucking christ retaliation against homophobia does not equal rampant needless unproductive violence roth!!!

then we have ned, who — i mean he doesnt ever give his opinion on whether kids deserve any respect or anything but considering in every other department he's pretty much just Some Guy, it'd be fair to assume he also has the extremely average stance of 'dont fcking kill kids and dont blow up buildings for no good reason??' in the grand scheme of the templar-assassin stuff he has just about as much relevance as roth: roth was just the boss of the blighters, ned just finances the fryes by virtue of them working for him. He probably doesnt even know about it, and tbh i dont even know if he'd care??? But like i imagine roth doesnt care in the way of 'as long as you dont get in my way, it's all set dressing,' ned i imagine would be smth like 'are yall fckin serious? are you kidding me rn? i have to skirt around transphobes on a daily basis, now youre telling me there's a secret society on top of that with even worse ideas?? What the fuck???'

like uh, not caring about it as in 'I cant deal with this rn i need a nap'

HE'S JUST AN EXTREMELY REGULAR PERSON (besides the crime lord stuff) IS WHAT IM GETTING AT.

then there's jacob, who's the youngest out of these guys btw, fckin 21 good god he should be at the club not trying to disassemble systemic oppression— ANYWAY

(ned is 27-28 over the course of the game, btw; we dont actually have a solid timeline for anything, just the year, so tbh jacob could've also been 20 and not 21 yet during the game. both he and ned have late birthdays, just a month apart)

so, yknow, being extremely early 20-somethings, both frye twins just take a train to london completely on impulse and dive headfirst into undoing the templars that've had an iron grip over the city for basically as long as they've been alive, yknow, as you do; and throughout the game jacob has to deal with goddamn daddy issues and fighting with his sister and insecurity and trying to be an assassin — and that's a lot for a guy to handle!! Especially one who's still just a couple years out of being a teenager! That's a fucking lot and if the devs are right, then he hasnt even realized that he's bi yet! Not until roth fucking kisses him while jacob's got a knife in his throat for the aforementioned indiscriminate, unproductive violence!

i mean, granted, yeah there were gay undertones during sequence 8, but i have to admit my bias here because i honest to god cannot take those missions seriously. Roth fucking preaches this and that about freedom and whatnot and then im plopped into the mission and it's the most rule-heavy shit ive ever seen in my short life as an assassin's creed player. Like what the hell, those missions were atrocious. Apprently i need to detonate the bombs a specific way, i cant just shoot them from a distance, i have to hold a button crouching down right next to the bombs, and then run the hell away! I have to avoid THIS and THAT while kidnapping xyz! Like there's freddy's apprehend missions and then there's THIS.

at least with ned's missions all you have to do is get the shit and go… i'm still salty that ubisoft cut his questline because they fucking insist on releasing a game a year >:((

my battery's dying. All these guys are different flavors of queer on top of just being pretty different and pretty similar in various ways, and there's just… barely anything about it. Ned especially, since he's just a quest giver whose screentime totals to, like, 2-5 minutes. I just wish they really did more with the setting; not just the queerness and these three specifically, but like, evie, henry, the class conflict — like there are shreds of it, seeds, but there's not much before you kill starrick and credits roll :((

idk. im just gonna refresh ao3 again cjemddjekjx

[dearweirdme]

https://www.tumblr.com/dearweirdme/754179646302617600/httpswwwtumblrcomdearweirdme7541625461493596?source=share

The issue is, everyone that has a strong bias, has the same perception about their bias. They always think that "they don't care as much about my bias". You can ask Jimin biased and they will say the same thing. And they can also point out reasons for their statement, like the fact that he had very few appearances and a short promotional time. Yoi can check the tl right now and they are crying about everything.

The conclusion that ppl that has a strong bias reaches is always the same - only ppl that bias that member care about them and all the rest either doesn't do anything or just the bare minimum. You can find this repeated everywhere, just changing the member name.

Are they all right?

At some extent they are. People will always prioritize their own bias, simply because it's usually who they like the songs better and will naturally listen to them more.

Also, maknae line (not vocal line) has more fans than hyung line (for multiple reasons, which also influences individual success) so they have bigger numbers. Which has very little to do about how mainstream some music genre are. Hip hop is literally the most popular style in the US, however, rapline numbers dont reflect that and people keep using the same excuses. Also, pre-release numbers are not related to music genre/quality because we didn't even listen to the song before, so we have no idea how it sounds like (just an idea from the media release which will never influence someone's decision on buying or not). It's just a popularity/buying power measurement.

The thing about Jm in particularly, at least from what I noticed, is that pjms are extremely organized and focused, and many ot7 big accs are also Jm biased and they work really hard for him.

I don't think that my bias receives the same attention as some of the members from the fandom or the company, but honestly? It's his problem to deal with. He's chosen to stay in the company and I dont think he will leave. He's smart and he knows how the industry works. He's building a name and has enough money to quit whenever he wants to, so I'm definitely not worried about him. I will not cry and throw up because army dont love him as much as the next member and fight strangers on twt/tumblr, and I believe that no one should. It's not worth nd it's part of the textbook manipulation that kpop uses.

Hi anon!

I think a problem many are having is that solo era feels as though army is falling apart. We’re used to be a force that gets things done, and now people feel betrayed.. because things are different from when BTS are together.

I don’t think being a solo is wrong as long as you don’t spread hate to the other members. I think it’s a natural development as a result of solo era. I can imagine new fans of Jk because of Golden (as an example) but who have never experienced BTS don’t really feel attached to the other members (yet). Army is changing, I think that is what’s happening. I mostly wish the hate dor other members would go away.. they don’t deserve that and they wouldn’t want that.

Tae is my bias, but I wouldn’t say I feel any sort of competition for him to do better than other members. I know Tae will do well with whatever he sets his mind to. He’s smart, he’s talented, he has vision, and he’s extremely likable. Do I think BH is shit to him, yes. I also think BH has been shit to other members. I just mostly think BH is shit. I can honestly say that I support all members equally. I might talk about Tae and Jk mostly on here, but I listen to all of their music, I mostly watch BTS footage of all of them together, I watch all their solo content (if I have time.. I can’t even say I’ve seen all Tae’s interviews I think..). I think what I’m mostly missing in fandom is the wish for members other than a person’s bias to do well.

[fictionfixations]

SCU x DSMP Crossover Series talk

so

unrelated thought but like

so my SCU x DSMP Crossover series where I have it called 'OVOH' or 'Only Violence on Humans'

would it be funny if Dream was the only human there

I mean I don't know who I want to have Tommy meet and include but like

what if everyone was a hybrid or of some magic kinda origin and Dream was just the only human so as to say 'only violence on dream' lmAO

thatd probably not work though because thered probably be some character thatd be of human origin ? I mean there's Wilbur but technically he'd be ghostbur so not human-- do I *want* to revive him? I dont even know how I'll get to that because this Tommy I'd like to think is more calculated in general.

He's smart and takes things into account and kinda plans it out from there. He's not like C!Tommy who is kinda more reckless and loud mouthed, sometimes stating things without thinking them through, but the reason C!Tommy tried to kill Dream while he was in prison was kinda due to recklessness (don't get me wrong, his plan was pretty cool though and ALMOST worked- cant blame him for not being able to hold back long enough, not when the idea of his abuser finally being killed by his own hands is so close.)

SCU!Tommy already doesn't like Dream of course, but would see no reason to go back when Dream is already in prison, and try to kill him?? I mean Dream hasn't even really traumatized him and he, I quote, "doesn't remember" (we know the real answer). Can I mention too that ABSOLUTELY NOBODY knows what happened in exile? Dream and C!Tommy were the only ones who knew to what extent it went, and even Dream would probably leave some parts out or say things with bias, being like 'he deserved it' or some shit like that. Wilbur does not know because Ghostbur thought it was just a vacation, and therefore Revivedbur would be under the same impression until C!Tommy said otherwise

SCU!Tommy in fact would not say otherwise if Ghostbur referred to the exile as 'vacation' because SCU!Tommy would not know the difference, and would also not know what was true or not, as having not been warned of the ghost's forgetfulness of bad memories. (But I don't know if Ghostbur and Sam have interacted long enough for Sam to know? And it'd be weird to just have a huge paragraph lore-dumping when it just.. doesn't fit.)

Unless Dream breaks out

except I literally haven't watched the Prison Break stream?? I know Ran died because that was everywhere, and I've seen some stuff of his ghost but like zero idea how he escaped

but so

SCU!Tommy would probably pick up on what Ghostbur talks about about Alivebur to somewhat gain an idea of that Alivebur wasn't a good person

and later probably when Ghostbur would mention about maybe wanting to be brought back to life.. SCU!Tommy technically has no reason to. Alivebur would know C!Tommy more then SCU!Tommy does and therefore would know when something is wrong and completely blow his cover, but Ghostbur is easy to manipulate.

I'd like to think Tubbo would know Tommy enough to do that as well, but I'd say they have also been far enough from each other for there to be a change. Tubbo being more mature, and Tommy being.. different. I think they managed to talk it out at one point, though I didn't see the stream, but I do think that the exile really.. put a bit of a distance, a block between them.

He'd most likely from what I'd like to think probably be hesitant to point out anything that might be different then the Tommy he knows.

TW: mention of cannibalism, manipulation (there are a shit ton of paragraphs over this)

I think though.. The only one who can give a true answer to what happened, would be Dream, who had been there since the beginning, despite how much he lies and would take any chance he gets to have control over the other.

I bet with time he'll come to realize that this Tommy isn't his, and that's all the more fun isn't it? To play with someone different yet so familiar. Who ticks almost the same way, who can act the same too if the cards are played right, yet so so different in the same ways.

SCU!Tommy will probably come to realize that Dream has the answers.

The question is if he'll go in pursuit of it, I mean SCU!Tommy fuckin despises Dream with the small amount of time spent around the other.

But SCU!Tommy is still a kid, isn't he?

Dream would probably fucking break him once he realizes exactly how he works.

I dunno, figure out how SCU!Tommy craves flesh, use it against him, make him starve until he's so fucking desperate, to be able to get inside his head and control him, and of course the rest of the SMP would have zero idea of Tommy's zombie self, because they believe that he doesn't remember, not that he is a different person entirely.

The thing is, is that I like manipulation. I want to write about it because it's a weird unhealthy obsession I have. My only problem though is that I can't actually write good manipulation.

Honestly I've only ever been on the victim's side of manipulation, and maybe that'd be enough, considering I'd be writing from the victim's POV, but I have to write the manipulator's actions, how he talks, how he'd be thinking and then correlate that to what he's showing, and I think- Dream can't help himself when he has control. It's just a thrill, that he can't stop himself from showing. I think he's a bit of a prideful and egotistical man.

I'd like to say that during when SCU!Tommy was in prison, Dream seeing SCU!Tommy kinda freeze up at the mention of Dream reviving him, with his weak '..what?'

And he got ahead of himself, sprouting bullshit about how he is a god, controlling life and death.

Maybe with C!Tommy it would've broke him, realizing just how much control the masked dickhead has- maybe it would've made him afraid.

But SCU!Tommy is not like that. He does not care, and instead gets annoyed at him. SCU!Tommy does not have as much experience dealing with Dream as C!Tommy does.

Basically figuring out how Dream thinks and acts and putting that into writing, as well as figuring out how SCU!Tommy, or at least my headcanon version of him acts in response to Dream is.. complicated, to say the least.

SCU!Tommy is not weak, and Dream's need to intimidate him and make him feel small and weak for that bit of control will irritate him. That is not to say that SCU!Tommy cannot be broken enough to be weak to the other, but that SCU!Tommy is strong in his own right, and will not be easy to break, like C!Tommy before, who was a spitfire of insults but broke during exile.

They are both manipulators, SCU!Tommy and Dream, but Dream is the one who is more extreme out of the two. SCU!Tommy is more to befriend them, to gain their trust before backstabbing them, nothing more.

Dream is the one to gain total control of them, break them until all they can do is rely on him, depend on him to survive, to just fucking live, where he takes everything away that isn't him, where he punishes and breaks until they are molded to just fucking listen and do as he says, and only him.

Can I mention too that SCU!Tommy has really only been seen to target assumedly adults (I doubt any children are alive actually.)

Meanwhile Dream is targeting children, minors. Sure, he does the occasional manipulation of an adult, but his is very much worse.

SCU!Tommy will probably fucking HATE people like Dream, but he knows when to act onto that hatred and when not to. [SCU!Tommy saying to Charlie that he doesn't deserve his brain. something something, SCU!Tommy assumedly backing down for now and rejoining him until at a later time where he's JUST about to reach his goal, to strike back with his army.]

SO.

bro i really wanna fuckin write disc duo lmao and i know that people can do out of order oneshots in series because ive seen some where they do a oneshot of something far off in the future and then later make one that happens before that one but like aAAaa

but I dont know the full storyline lOl

how does Dream get out of prison (or how do we get Tommy in the prison with a viable reason?) it cant even be that soon either because Sam would probably stop him -

OH WAIT SHIT SAM

SOBS I JUST REALIZED I MADE HIM HAVE 2 HEARTS IN THE PART 2 ??? BUT HE LOST ONE LIFE DURING THE PRISON BREAK I THINK- BRO I READ IT TOO D: 'Killed by Dream in Pandora's Vault on February 4, 2022.' AND READING THE WIKI, ITS WAY AFTER THE PRISON BREAK?? (the prison break was on like november or something is this why the lore is so fucking confusing ?? i feel like ive missed everything)

guys why did no one tell me

SOBS

I might have SCU!Tommy meet Ghostbur though next? I dont know, Ghostbur's like everywhere and I dont know who to have him meet next D:

i dont think his priority either is learning about what happened since it isn't necessary tho? considering hes going with not remembering ..?

He'd probably just go off on his own to survive

do you think Tubbo's compass that leads to Tommy would lead to him? no wait isnt it a lodestone compass

or am i wrong? cause otherwise it would point Tubbo to the hole of Logsteshire

so it means nothing basically- what even happened to the compasses??

aGGHhh why is this so hard to think of

i think i have to settle for requests D:

anyway, uh..

also I have no idea what C!Tommy's doing, unless for some reason the SCU universe completely resets and goes all back again but I don't have the creativity to think of what SCU!Tommy was doing before he met Charlie, and assumedly had already escaped long before, as he acts with experience.

i dont know how old SCU!Tommy actually is though, but I'd assume he's a minor?

aaAAaaa

also writing this has finally given me an idea of how I want SCU!Tommy to act onto his zombie urges (maybe when starved long enough he loses all self control and just fucking goes after the first thing he sees thats living.) its a fucking thrill that fills him and its addictive.

no doubt tho he will probably stock up enough once he realizes the creepy crawlies that are out at night and (when he realizes that those zombies are not the same as his, and therefore removes his guilt) probably just fuckin kill them all for their flesh.

Maybe SCU!Tommy doesn't even care about zombies? maybe he used to be human- he had a family, SBI maybe and Wilbur had gone on a reality show with a fake name, and the others were.. MIA somehow.

Maybe. And maybe he was only with the zombies because he was a mix of both human and zombies, and therefore did not fit on either side (oddly reminds me of Tokyo Ghoul)

BUT thats really hitting headcanon territory lmao, but I have already been hitting there aghhh

but I dont wanna go too far

I probably wont lol. like I said, I dont have the creative juices for C!Tommy POV in SCU

anyway thats enough talk before i spoil too much of the series but I probably already have lol

[colourful-void]

Supporting Satoshi - an examination and comparison of JN36 and XY121

Part One: Snowballs do not cure depression but it was worth a shot

You know that episode of Pokemon where a gym leader beats Satoshi in a battle so hard that one of his pokemon gets mildly hurt (though there's no long term effects) and because of it he becomes depressed, closing himself off from his friends before someone comes along to pull him out of that mental state, and also severe weather phenomena is involved and a reflection of a persons mental state? Or rather, the two episodes?

So when I was watching Journeys, I noticed an episode that had a similar-- but distinctly different-- plot to an xy episode I had seen before. And what was particularly interesting was that while I couldn't stand the xy episode, the journeys episode was one of my favourites. I won't drag this out for you guys, I love the journeys episode and re watch it a LOT and the xy episode sort of just leaves me with a sour taste in my mouth. and don't go claiming its solely ship bias, because i saw the xy episode first and disliked it then.

This will analyze both of these episodes, comparing them against each other. Specifically within the context of how Goh and Serena both help Satoshi through a similar situation There will be some discussion of AmourShipping and Satogou in this analysis. I'm going to be a bit negative regarding Serena's actions and the potential "romantic" weight of them here, but I want to be clear that I Do Not dislike Serena as a character. Personally, I wish the writers had given her more room to grow outside of her romantic interests, but I do not hate Serena as a character. I do, however, disagree with her actions in this episode. Please don't take this out of context and dont be ship fighting in the comments, it's boring. This is a comparison of These Two Episodes, not of Goh and Serena and their respective ships as a whole.

This part mainly focuses on the xy episode and the second will focus mainly on the journeys. It's only divided into parts because of the tumblr post limit.

(If you like the xy episode or hate the journeys episode, awesome! having your own opinions is great. these are mine though, so i hope you'll listen to them)

With that out of the way, let's start. And I'm going to use mostly japanese names here because I'm taking screencaps from the subbed japanese copies.

The set up for each of these episodes is eerily similar as pointed out in the gag at the start.

Xy has a bit more set up before the episode in question though, with the initial loss and retreat into the forest by Satoshi taking place the episode before. The episode opens up proper with Satoshi taking time to breathe to himself, alone in the forest.

Emphasis is placed on him taking a deep breath, aided by the visuals showing them (thanks cold air) and the silence of the rest of the soundscape, with the only other sounds being the wind and some bird pokemon, plus some falling snow.

Journeys Satoshi starts off in a better mental state than Xy, with the episode starting off with him jogging along with his pokemon.

However, we can still see that he's been affected by the last battle he lost, against Saitou, as he's putting a lot of effort into training and doing better.

Which, doesn't go well for him, as he loses his next two battles as well, and drops in the World Championship ranking as a result

And he's pretty upset about it too. Same thing as over in xy. In both cases, a respective friend/love interest notes that Satoshi is upset and expresses concern.

He's got support from his friends in both situations! But that support comes across in very different ways.

But, to understand how that support manages to affect Satoshi, we need to understand the problem at play.

Now, I wanna make something clear here. Satoshi's problem is not that he is a sore loser. I'm not arguing that's not a contributing factor, or that he's not upset about the loss (particularly in the world championships), He's still bitter about the lost part, but the root of the problem is not losing, he's been shown to be fine with losing (if not a bit more motivated to win now) in prior episodes.

Satoshi's problem is that his pokemon are getting hurt. Satoshi's problem is that his pokemon are getting hurt, because they're losing battles. Satoshi's problem is that his pokemon are losing battles because he's not training them well enough. And to clarify, that's not my viewpoint, it's his. Satoshi's problem is that he's not good enough for himself, and he feels that that's something he has to fix on his own.

So how do we help him?

Our weather event in question is introduced in separate points in the episodes, but I'll cover them both now.

In xy, it's this snowstorm, which conveniently becomes a problem directly after Serena returns to the Pokemon Centre.

In journeys, it's a sandstorm! That's in near direct contrast to a snowstorm! Incredible.

Heading back to xy Satoshi, things aren't going great in the forest. Luckily, Serena's run off to find him.

I think it's of note here that Serena runs off with the best intentions, she wants to help Satoshi, plain and simple. It just sort of goes wrong along the way.

It's worth noting that Xy Satoshi tries to bring himself out of being sad by the tried and true method of "stop being sad"

Despite telling himself this, he doesn't get anywhere. Which makes sense, because it's not getting the the root of the problem. It's not even addressing it at all. He's just trying to 'be better', which isn't even a battle strategy. However, it is something I can see him saying, so this isn't a critique of Satoshi's thought process, but me pointing out that this isn't really effective. Which is supported by the narrative, because again, he doesn't get anywhere, he doesn't even move.

I can't show it in screencaps but the lights in Satoshi's eyes are shaking here, something that they consistently do throughout the series when he's feeling a particularly strong emotion. Keep that in mind. It couples well with another trait of his, and that's his hat!

And by that I mean how he hides his eyes with the brim of it when upset, something he does exactly as Serena shows up and calls out to him. Now, he's not upset that Serena is here. He's upset about the pokemon stuff still. He's trying to hide the fact that he's upset from Serena.

Serena starts off with her speech well, trying to appeal to Satoshi to let her in and talk things out. And maybe it's because he wasn't ready for it yet, or because of the way she phrases it (a lot of 'i' and 'me' language which can be helpful but can also come across as though she's making it about her. not her intent i don't think, but a possible interpretation.), it's not her fault for how Satoshi reacts regardless.

But how Satoshi reacts is not good.

Now it's really interesting to note that before this, Serena was standing while Satoshi was sitting, putting her above him in terms of active power, when it comes to how the shot is presented, but when Satoshi stands up, the camera tilts with the movement so that they're on equal level. Neat!

And Serena yells in return, scolding Satoshi for not talking about it. Not the best move, since pushing someone to talk about something that's upsetting them isn't really productive, but she's trying here and she's frustrated.

Satoshi continues to withdraw and self isolate, claiming it is his problem and that he wants to be left be. Now, this is the mindset of a clearly upset person and isolation may not be the best option, but he did make the explicit request to be left alone here.

He's clearly upset as he turns away from Serena's eye and slumps over a little.

And then Serena throws a snowball at him.

Angry as he is, you can see Satoshi's expression change when he sees Serena's reaction.

Serena tells Satoshi that she's not like the Satoshi she knows, who is always full of energy and positive and a leader, and a bunch of other positive traits. The problem here, is that Serena's looking at an idealized version of Satoshi. And while the intent here was probably meant to be something more like "you have so many wonderful traits about you I know you can do this", coupled with the snowballs and the phrasing, it seems as though Serena is scolding Satoshi for being sad.

Or rather, being angry with him for not living up to her idealized version of him, and not wanting him to express any negitave emotions.

Which is sort of a really bad mindset.

The snowballs continue, never once does Satoshi fight back. In fact, he stops arguing entirely after the first one. Serena knocks him off his feet and tells him he's not being himself, before running off. (In the english dub, Serena claims that Satoshi isn't being "the real satoshi" and then demands that the real Satoshi be "given back", so it could be worse)

Satoshi decides to literally run his problems away, because it will help him reach some kind of conclusion, and immediately trips and falls down a large hill. No, I'm not making that up. Something like this just isn't like him. He's just gotta stop being sad!

Now personally, I really disagree with the idea that "being upset" isn't "like a person". That's because based off of my own experiences, I know it can be really damaging to hold the mindset that any negative emotions you feel aren't a part of you and that you shouldn't be upset because you're usually a positive and happy person. Not the case with every person, but I personally really have a problem with shows telling children that they just shouldn't be upset instead of processing their emotions in a meaningful way. (The journeys episode doesn't do an outstanding job of it either, but this is a bit of a tangent anyway. A show that does do this right is "OK KO! Let's be Heroes" which actually deals with this problem in greater depth and does a fantastic job of it.)

But the snowball scene ends here. Now I'll get back to Journeys in a moment, but since Serena has finished her part of the comparison for the most part, I'm going to summarize a bit more of the xy episode.

Satoshi decides to literally run his problems away, because it will help him reach some kind of conclusion, and immediately trips and falls down a large hill. No, I'm not making that up.

The snowstorm kicks in, Serena get back annoyed, then similarly groans and yells, and the whole xy gang + pokemon go running off in search of Satoshi. Pikachu appears the most concerned.

Now Serena tells the others she lost her cool and said something horrible to Satoshi, but explains its because Satoshi is someone she admires. Cool motive, I get it, still kinda bad.

and in the end, it's not Serena's words that get he message across to Satoshi. The solution to this problem was Satoshi finding a way to reaffirm his abilities and instinct.

In the xy episode, he helps some pokemon out of the tree, and when his very cool frog friend shows up, they're able to work together with their bond to save this one from falling off a cliff.

Here's the point. Satoshi learns by doing, by actions. He needs to see first hand that there are ways of getting past his problems, and that it's worth having the courage to keep going. The lesson is about valuing pokemon as equals and partners, and specifically that trying to be better as the trainer alone isn't going to help.

This is essentially where this plot line ends, team rocket is there for a bit as well but as much as i love them they're not relevant here, and some fun stuff with the league, love it not important right now its like 3am and I'm not sleeping until this is finished so we gotta keep things moving.

This was no doubt Serena's intent to get a similar point, but she goes about it the wrong way. She tries to convey this with words, as conversation and motivational words have helped her in the past (Elle's words of praise stick with her, Satoshi's words from when they were kids, etc). It's a good idea, but their different ways of learning and growing from a similar situation are incompatible, and that's why things don't work out in Serena's favour. There's also still the problem of "pulling yourself together" not being helpful in this case.

There's also a very similar line in this scene to the one at the end of the journeys episode, as Satoshi says to his frog that they should start over from scratch. It's essentially the same phrase with different wording. It's great. The Storm ends as he realizes this as well! Wonderful in terms of pathetic fallacy.

The gang all reunites, its nice. Satoshi thanks Serena for what she said after apologizing to everyone, which contradicts what he said earlier but I've already established that I dislike this message here so I won't go over it too much. I guess he's right in a literal sense in that in response to her words he went and ran until he tripped off a cliff but the emotional growth here was because of his own actions (and the frogs), not Serena's. Sorry Serena, you'll get em next time.

This is essentially where this plot line ends, team rocket is there for a bit as well but as much as i love them they're not relevant here, and some fun stuff with the league, love it not important right now its like 3am as I write this so we gotta keep things moving.

So. What about Goh?

Well...

(Part Two here on account of image limit!!)

[eraseur-a]

The more Touya speaks, the more Shota realizes he doesn't know. He doesn't nearly have the full picture; as Dabi said, there are a lot of moving parts, and Aizawa only has his general statements (and his own bias against Endeavor and compulsion to fight for broken children) to work off of.

Hearing him say that nothing changes if kids die makes his heart break. He is so correct and so incorrect at the same time. Shirakumo died during the work study, and yet he just placed his own kids in their own work studies. He pushed back as much as was acceptable and put every in precaution he could, but he did it anyway. Because it was the most rational decision. That's what he's had to cling to, at least.

As much as he wants to just press forward and ask for the full picture, Shota has to say his piece. "As you can imagine, I have lots to say about the role that children play in hero society. And I'll assure you that I have critiqued and thought over the system in that regard more than most. In fact, the issues with it are largely why I do the work that I do -- to help kids from falling through the gaps. From getting hurt, or worse." There's determination in his tone, but it's also obviously masking a sadness. "I'm here to protect kids from themselves, as they've been conditioned to think being a hero is a glamorous job with no risk and only reward." Again, he realizes they haven't even talked about Shouto yet. And he has no idea if Touya knows about Shirakumo's -- rather, Kurogiri's relation to him. There's so much still left unsaid. "We can talk about children in this society as much as you wish."

He had intended that to be the end of it, but he still feels unsatisfied. So Shota continues. "We are all doing everything that we can to protect as many as we can. Our students are doing what they are with as much support as possible. This unfortunate reality currently is that because of this war with the league of villains, we are needing to push these kids harder because we dont have enough manpower anymore. And because they need to be able to defend themselves in the face of the very real threat that is your organization." The irony of it all. Touya telling him how evil it is to hurt kids yet being part of the group that has forced their hand to put kids onthe battlefield. That has directly hurt the kids themselves. "You're hurting kids because you're angry kids have been hurt?" He only now realizes he's become angry, how he's gripping Dabi slightly too tight. Shota stops, takes a measured breath and forces his muscles to relax, to loosen his grip on Touya but not release him entirely. He doesn't wna thim to feel like he's pulling away.

A bit calmer now, he continues. "One can also argue that that is what any society does. For all of human history, the following generations have to clean up the messes of the preceding ones. That's the nature of time and humanity, and that can't be helped. All we can do is raise them as best we can and build a safer and healthier world. And we're trying. I can't speak for all heroes, and clearly I don't know the details of every hero's life, but the ones I do know are also doing their best. Truly." He hopes Touya really hears him. Hopes he believes him. But the passion is dripping from his voice and evident in his demeanor. Because he's speaking the truth; he's doing everything he can.

"But, now that I've said my piece, I think it is in our best interest to back up. Maybe we ought to start with the full story. I don't know exactly what it was that he did to his wife and kids, and I would like to know, if that is alright."

the conversation was a cloud over head, and dabi was aware of this. but he was thankful to have moments of calm and comfort. enjoying aizawa's warmth and his presence, it made it hard to want to leave though. it was when they sat across from each other that he knew that something ... serious was incoming. his head ached, like someone was pulling him back, by the hair to fall back. and he fought it for a minute, fingers pressed into aizawa's palm, to warm them both as he tried to steady himself.

“ i - yeah. ” dabi nods, ( please, you don't know what you're talking about. ) “ i want - people to know what endeavor did to his kids ... his wife. ” the notable difference between associating himself with the todoroki family was clear, a sting shot through him again, as he began to mumble aloud. unintelligible words came softly, under his breath as he looked to the ground. their joined hands. ( fine, i'll be here though. )

“ sorry, i - ” he looks away, hands tightening their grip on shota for a second as dabi took a deep breath in, and touya let a deep breath out. blinking slowly as he found his breath and his grounding again.

“ it's - there's a lot of moving parts. i'm sure you know that. ” he changes how he sits, legs crossed now, blinking slow to soothe himself and process what he wanted to say. “ i went back when i was younger, after i died. and nothing changed. nothing will change even if kids die, ” it hurts to say, but he hopes that aizawa of all people would understand. a teacher of these poor kids that are sent to fight battles civilians cannot. he has probably seen the worst sides of so many, and touya hoped that he would understand that ... anger. or ... pain. he was not even sure what he felt about it all. “ i want to tell the world something no one can forget. that heroes aren't perfect, that the world they push is a broken one, forcing children to pick up the pieces and are expected to perfect it all. it's not - fair. you understand? ” his gaze finally reached aizawa's now, a tiredness in his own blue eyes that was not present before. like he was always fighting to be seen. and that was not far from the truth.

[ellovett]

list of people that made this year pretty neat :)

Hi all

Ok so 2020's almost ending (it just ended i started writing this post like....5 days ago??) and i just wanted to do this thing where i have a message towards everyone who supported me/who i think are just very cool and very epic, i only really got into the twst fandom just at the beginning of the year and im just gonna get straight to the point now messages are under the cut :)

@permanentlyexhaustedowl - AYAAAA ;;;;; bro you're literally one of my first long time friends here in the twst community and i just want to thank you for everything, our convos in either public servers or in pms, your love and support for my content,,or whenever i vent to you,,,,,just- your love and support man i appreciate it so much and i cannot thank you enough, you're just so sweet and caring and supportive and friendly just aghhhhhh ;;;;; even your reblogs make me smile uncontrollably and i explode, also all the brainrots i have about my interests ;;; thanks for listening to all of them,,even tho you really didnt have to ;;;;;; I love how we make our twst ocs interact and the little brainrots we have with them ;;; You've helped me so so so much and in so many ways, I am beyond glad that we're bestfriends, you're one of the nicest most caring people ive ever met and i love you so so so much, beyond belief ;; 💕 pls never stop being you?????? You quacking amazing person??????? 😎🤙💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕

@shoujoqueensstuff - AYYYY SHOUJOOOO!!! 😎🤙🤙 hhhh you're also one of the first people ive ever had a long time friendship with here in the twst community, and seriously bitch i love you so much ;;; so so much..i cant go a day without talking to you about literally anything and just vibing, the support and love you've given me over these months is insane i cannot thank you enough for that, all of our rps, convos or just pure brainrot have been so much fun, and i fucking love it that we built our own little world outside of canon,,all the aus we built with our ocs???? I love them. I love them all to death, including your amazing ocs, and even tho we live on literally opposite sides of the world you're always there for me whenever i vent or when im feeling extremely down or insecure ;; ,,im just so so so happy and glad that i met you and that we're bestfriends, i care about you so so so so so much- hhhh i cant put it into words my brain is dying i just- i LOVE YOU BIITCH, I AINT NEVER GONNA STOP LOVING YOU, BITCH.😎💖💕💖🤙🤙💕💕💖💕 TAKE MY LOVE BITCH 💕💕💕💕💕 thank you so much for sticking around ;; i love you and support you in everything you do so much I could never ever thank you enough for the friendship you've given me..

I can literally go forever on how much i love and appreciate the both of you, i can just scream into the void for all eternity,,but i cant put it into words anymore. You both made my year so great and so epic ;;; i love you guys so much

--

-

--

Now the chaddams 😌

@thetwstwildcard - hi ma :D you're just so cool and so epic lizz ;;; i cant- all of our conversations and brainrots have been super fun and i enjoy your company very much;;; you are just so nice and friendly,, and your ocs (especially staff ocs) are god tier amazing, i will love the nrc mom squad to death. I am honored to be ur child and i love you and father claude (and my four (?) other dads you married) very much 💕💕💕

@alpyssketch - bringer of father claude,,,,i owe you my life alpy,,,,,,but no seriously you're also a very epic person and you're honestly so nice and sweet!!! You never fail to make me feel welcome in any conversation and you're just so damn friendly!!! We may not talk that often but I very much enjoy your company ;;; ily!!! 💖💖💖

@multi-ankin - another very cool and epic person!!!! you're very fun to talk to and you're also pretty funny in the vc fjfjfj, your ocs are all so amazing too! (djdjjd although my staff oc bias makes me go for kas) we should totally talk and make our ocs interact more in the future tho!!!!!! 💖💖

@just-patchy - pATCHYYY!!!! :D hi!!!! you're also a very cool person!! our interactions have been so much fun and i hope we can have more in the future ;;; the ideas you have for your ocs and how you put them into writing is so good!!! like really good!!! And your art has been greatly improving too!!! Never ever think that i dont see you as a friend because i do!! 😤😤💖💖 i care about you bro!! Never forget that!!

@bakujho - :D hi jho!! you're a lot of fun! And I THINK YOU ARE SO DAMN COOL AND BADASS it's unbelievable,,i look up to you jho i wish i could be almost as cool as you when i grow up ;;; the things you've done for this fandom are also very admirable! like the whole gravedigging (jellyfish) situation! But we're not gonna talk about it now- hhhhh you're just so epic jho ;;; seriously 💗💗

@Kurui - hhhhh you're probably not gonna see this ;;; and i cant find your tumblr (if any of the other chaddams could possibly show this to her thatd be so great ;;;) but nonetheless i still think you're just so fun and cursed ;;; and you give so many amazing ideas!!! Your ocs are all also so cool too! Your art is just so detailed you clearly put a lot of thought into them i just admire that sm ;; (also your edits are extremely cursed and epic i love them dearly-)

@twst-the-royals - JULIE :))) HELLO,,,you were actually the first ever person i spoke/interacted with in the fandom! And you were just so nice and friendly and patient with me ;;; im glad that i got to talk to you,,and we dont really talk that much now but pls pls PLEASE know that i care about you so much and that i support you in everything you do ;;; 💖💖💗💖 ill do my best to make you proud!!

@girl-in-the-tower - hey Az!!! ;;;; you're so epic and cool,,honestly i admire you so much, the lore/writing you have for your ocs/fanschools are just so well thought out and so well written ;;; i hope to become a better writer like you in the future, but for now ill just take notes and learn from you ;; you're super encouraging and supportive too!!! I know we dont talk much but i could never thank you enough for all those little yet meaningful moments ;;; 💖💖

@rikanoctrix and @mirrored-pomefiore - hi!!! i know we arent that close but just know that you two are huge inspirations for me when it comes to art, the both of you draw your styles so incredibly well and i admire that so so so much ;;; 💖

@ocean-water-tea - FATHER TEAAAAA QAQ okay so first of all,,,,how can you draw so well using ibispaint, i ask for tips, specifically on how to draw hair and tits 🤲 but seriously though you are so fun to talk to!!! So cursed!!! So ☊⊑⏃⍜⏁⟟☊!!! You encourage me to my true cryptid self (despite aya's protests 👀) and i thank you kindly,,,you are also very funny 😌 a funny little clown simp, and you're super friendly and cheerful too! I almost never feel nervous when reaching out to you ;;; I hope we can have more wacky adventures in the future 💖💖

@zonamemoryverse - HEYYY ZONAAA!!! you're a fairly new person and you've already come so far ;;; you're a very chaotic person to talk to and i enjoy all of our conversations!!! Also our interactions with our ocs were super fun too, and i love hearing any shred of content i can get from ur epic ocs,,,dont stop being epic!!! 💖💖

@namelessfish - Hi fish!!! :DD you've been a very supportive friend to me over these past few months,,and im happy i have someone i can relate my not-so-great experiences with ;;; please know that i care about you dearly and that ily ;; 💖💖💖💖

---

--

-

--

---

@wondersbeyondcompare - JFFJJF BRO DONT THINK I DONT SEE YOU WHENEVER YOU REBLOG MY CRINGY ASS POSTS 👁👁 I SEE THEM AND I CHERISH THEM ALL I REREAD THEM ON SAD DAYS. All the little tags and comments you put on them always make me smile so hard ;;; im just very happy to know that you like whatever the hell im doing and it pushes me to do more!! You're incredibly sweet, dont worry!!! Ill be sure to make you proud!!!! 😭💖💖💖

@circuscarnage - Anna!!!! We dont talk that often but whenever we do it's always so much fun ;;; you're so sweet and i appreciate you so much ;; all the stuff you drew for my ocs are all so incredibly cute and i really have to give back- jUST YOU WAIT ANNA. IM GONNA MAKE FANART OF YOUR LOVELY OCS AND YOU CANT STOP ME- 💖💖💖💖

@twistedapple - hi crow!! :DD again we dont really talk that much but i support you greatly in everything you do!!! You're another epic and cool writer ;;; your writings for your ocs are just sooooo well written and are just so good!! You're also super good at art too!! And i hope to see more from you in the future!!! ;;; 💖💖💖💖

@not-twst-enough - Ellie!!!! ;;; bro you've been supporting me from the very start, from lillet's old ass bio to now, and i very much appreciate it!!!! You're also super friendly in the twst server too ;;; and all the content you have for your ocs is just so exciting! Good luck with the fandorm and all future stuff ;;; ily!!!! 💖💖💖

@fumikomiyasaki - FUMI. DONT THINK I DIDNT FORGET YOU DKDKDK,,,Another cool and amazing person!!! All our brainrots and conversations have been really fun ;;;; thank u for that,, You are very fun person to interact ocs with tho!!! Especially with ships!! MadScientist² will forever hold a place in my heart.,,,💖💖💖

@oiseaunoir11 - hey Al!! :) you were one of the many people i admired and looked up to when i first joined the fandom, your art is something im deeply inspired by and your shitposts at like...4 am in the morning always give me the big funny,,one thing i really admire about ur art tho is how you'd draw backgrounds :0 you've gotten so good at them!! And your poses look super natural and effortless, i hope to be almost of a better artist like you 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♂️ also i cant wait to see ur animatics 👀 they look dope- hope we can talk or maybe even interact ocs more! 💖💖

@leonasbitties - luuuu :))) hiiii,,,we dont usually talk on servers that often but that doesnt mean that i dont consider you as a friend! You have a lot of super cool ideas for ocs and your art is just getting better and better and better with each piece!!!! i look forward to seeing more from you ;;; 💖💖💖

@peteza-mozzarella - PETEEE :DDD another very cool and friendly person, you're literally the sweetest person ive ever talked to and i love our little chats!!! Hhhh you're just super nice and your ocs are super cute,,please never stop being you you epic bean ;;;; 💖💖💖💖

@the27th - Hi Andhra!!!!! You've been quite the long time mutual,,and your reblogs always make my day ;;; you're just so sweet and kind and i always feel at ease when talking to you, the hunger games sessions you host are always super fun even though im often asleep to even participate 😂 thank you sm for the love and support ;;; ill be sure to give them all back to you 💖💖 starting now 💗💗💗💗💗

@mamushroomoracorn - MAMUSH :DD we've only really started talking recently but you're just so nice and friendly ;;;; all of our talks have been so wholesome and great and im so happy about that, and your art is really really really good!! Ur art style is just so unique and so cool!!! ;;;; and dw mamush,, ill show the froggies like i promised soon 😔💖💖💖

@rookvonhunt - HEYYYY 👉😎👉 hi hello i would die for your ocs. If theyd ask me to perish then i will 200%,,ur so epic and cool and all of your ocs are just god-tier, i cant wait for what else you have to offer!!!! 💖💖

--

@lawlessofdusk - lawless ;;;; aaaaa honestly you're just so kind and sweet, i couldnt thank you enough for all the love and support you've given me!!! And i desperately need more content of ur ocs bc they're all so cool and interesting 😤😤😤💖💖💖 i hope to talk to you more soon!!!!

-

--

Fkfjfjfj i think that's all!! Id like to thank you all for sticking around with me with my first year in the fandom ;;; you guys make all the bullshit and drama here worth it 💖💖💖

If i forgot to include you in here then PLEASE DM ME I AM SO SORRY-!!!! I dont want to leave anyone behind!!! So please feel free to confront me about it ;;; happy new year everyone!!!!

[seoafin]

tbh,, i havent read the raws of the interview yet, only the translated ver from fan-translator and b4 i start, i think that this will be just me talking in circle and in no particular order AND a real mess (my brain does weird things after exams) but uhh here we go

gojou collects talented people, and by doing so he finds the people he can most probably relate to, except that he can't, not really, because something in the universe shifted when he was born. and it makes me think of how he's always known it, that he is special, and he's proven it, time and time again— he wants to take in talented ppl and he does, but there rly isn't much he can do for them. for they are talented, more talented than the world can understand,,

but they aren't gojou satoru

gojou took in megumi, bc he knew megumi was strong, and would grow up to be someone even stronger, but gojou can't facilitate or encourage his growth, bc for all they're similar, they are so fundamentally different. ALSO,, while geto was in his life, gojou rly judged everything according to his understanding of geto’s moral compass. gojou wears a human suit and geto is how he learnt to wear it well 🏃

the dragonfly analogy regarding to geto’s response to gojo, who was shown wearing a dragonfly patterned yukata in HI arc,, i’m trying to not think abt the fact that dragonfly symbolized victory in jpn....pain. i quoted from a web here for more explanation : In Japan the dragonfly is known as the "victory insect", or kachimushi, because of its hunting prowess and also because it is known to never retreat. Dragonflies are agile and fast fliers and can even hover, but never fly backwards

and bringing this up again, matricide and patricide are 2 of the 5 worst act to commit in buddhism, and it was said that if u commit one of those act u’re going to spend a real long time in the deepest pit of hell before continuing the samsaric cycle (higher chances to be born as an animal after that probs)— this might be geto’s divine retribution. held no power over his own body and could be considered that he’s the same as those “monkeys” 💀

ALSO the fact that sukuna's interest is "eating" rly drives home his hedonistic philosophy of seeking pleasure for himself. and he’s a cannibal...makes me think if he’ll just chomp on ppl with the mouth on his stomach

randomly, to date i think he hasn't really called himself a human, shaman, or a curse, and has held himself apart from all 3, and we've also the intro of the cursed wombs so i wonder if he’s trying to become, or is, a different entity altogether

so onmyoji got mentioned in the interview and what they practice is called onmyodo and abe no seimei and kano no yasunori were the notable practitioners,, and the kamo in jjk is the same as irl who served the imperial court back then

maybe i was right when i said that the relation between the govt. and jujutsu elders are similar to how the shogunate and imperial court work (ie, the former holds the actual power) but... lets see later,,

and i cant believe that i actually nailed it on the analogy of jujutsu practices by religion,,, so mahayana buddhism, shintoism, and taoism is present in jjk along with their respective jujutsu practices...but between the 3, it shld (?) be taoism > shintoism > mahayana buddhism (which could took a path to pure land buddhism)

it’s weird that the number of curses are supposedly higher in jpn comparable to other countries when taoism was brought from china....tengen sus

so the zenin family tree is sth like :

brothers: [toji's dad] ; naobito ; ougi

so toji, naoya, and maki & mai are cousins of the same generation

[toji's dad] → jinichi (probs) ; toji → megumi

naobito → other brothers, naoya

ougi → maki, mai

but yea i’d call anyone who’s within/close or below my age range as cousins and others above 30 as uncles/ aunts LMFAO,, i dont rly memorize my own family tree 😭😭 especially since most call the other by honorifics instead of names : aunt, uncles etc or attaching said honorifics at the end of a name for an older sibling figure/ older cousins [but like ppl in my country also call the other who are older with sibling honorific even if we’re strangers,,, rly similar to korea’s hyung/oppa—eonnie(unnie)/noona but some uses more genderless honorific] (1)

tw // topic of incest, mentions of abuse

if anyone got the wrong idea when reading this : i am not glorifying/ romanticising incest(uous themes),, i’m looking at this with absolutely no lenses of bias even tho im rly against it

初恋 = literally : first love, or puppy love

恋 = romantic love/ deep longing

i literally don't know how else to put this...🧍and with language barrier...using a western interpretation of the eng word "love" to explain a jpnese term is not quite that simple, unfortunately

that thread omg,, i rly do understand how exactly someone could associated kindness with love bc of my upbringing, it was when i was slightly older that i was just...oh so its not like that orz,,, so the most plausible explanation would be that

but the problem is that,, akutami never specify when exactly she had a crush on them,, and when megumi answered todo’s question she had a “♡” reaction 😶,, uhmmm there’s rly no way to look past this if its this way or be in denial

i’ve seen some of "why wouldn't mai react that way after hearing megumi say he'd like someone who's compassionate when she's surrounded by men like naoya",, well I MEAN,,, that, but also mai probs admires that megumi grew up so well out of the clan, regardless of the fact that he had the foundation (10 shadows) to do so. imo she seems happy for him the way she can't be for maki, bc maki ultimately had to leave her behind

hate to say it but yea,, the 3 clans most likely still practice inbreeding in order to preserve their power and presumably their wealth too 😀

i had an idle thought abt it at first but i filed it deep in the back of my mind asap,, bc i ont wanna jump to conclusion abt this out of all things too early. it’s probably not even in jjk, but all those elite clans in other ani/mangas that produce powerful heirs and whatnot also do the same,,, but this way of (my personal) thinking was influenced when i first got into tsukihime (type-moon),,, i read abt the nanaya family background and found out that they practice that in order to keep their bloodline “pure” (to keep it short : they have an optical power),, and i had this kind of assumption ever since so there’s that

i’m,, convinced the zenins' inbreeding made it more difficult for them to get powerful shamans bc they got 2 jujutsu technique-less children with heavenly restrictions in the same generation: toji & maki

even more convinced that maki might be a bit stronger than toji bc toji could see curses without aid while maki can't so the pay-off must be higher,,, SJJASN IDK ,,, plus naoya sort of implies his older brothers are nothing compared to him, and idk if we should take that as his arrogance or that his older brothers rly are weak/powerless. it would make sense as to why naobito had a lot of sons, ig, as head of clan

i feel so bad that if one of the factors that can caused heavenly restriction is inbreeding,, toji and maki and mai had no say in how they wanted to be born but are scorned for it,, typical asian families projecting their traumas and ideals onto their kids but get mad when they realize that those ideals are ugly...😁😁😁

since the zenin are conservative,, i wonder if they still hold onto old jpnese dining traditions. where in ancient jpn, hierarchical relationships were made readily apparent even within families. a dining table where everybody sat down and ate as equals would be unheard of. rather, each individual is given their own table that indicates their status,,, someone who is not considered “strong” according to the zenin’s views most likely have no place at the table, and probs eat when those who are “strong” finished/ serve them when they are eating

if toji was tossed into a swarm of curses,, i dont think abuse during said time is below them,,,

the zenin clan was already great, but they further amassed power and strength by, what i assume to be, marrying and adopting powerful individuals into the clan 🤔 ,,, i imagine they're like the hiiragi but without doing what they did to shinya (ons reference)

BUT after all that, i like to think that since akutami’s a big horror fan, jjk might be an outlet to explore said topics or even darker ones, so i wouldnt be that surpised abt it. given that there’s more than enough “red flags” before this was dropped : a reference to “tale of hikaru genji” when a grown woman asked for gojou’s number in HI arc (out of all things); granny who transformed into the man’s daughter, sat on his lap and man just touched her waist; mei mei and ui ui ; and...this (incestous theme is in the novel btw)

lets not start with whatever the fuck in kubo’s head in the interview otherwise i’m writing paragraphs with every curse words possible,, those big 3 mangakas are so— UGH,, a planet w out (cis) men like him sounds real good rn 😌 if one of yall out there decide to do it,, pls hmu rly cant do this shit anymore

akutami said i like my men pretty and i like women who will step on my neck and spit in my face (I REMEMBERED TATSUKI FUJIMOTO’S INTERVIEW WHEN HE WAS ASKED ABT MAKIMA AND IT WAS SO 😭😭😭😭) but ykw,, love that for both of them <3

when i said 3 : one piece, bleach, naruto. aside from the blatant depiction/ characterize of women in those 3,, idk if some ppl arent aware yet but oda is friends with two (2) convicted pedos,, man...the major disappointment and disgust when i first find out abt it

anyways this is just my 2 cents (which i think rightfully belong to the trash can) so pls just take this w a lil to no grain of salt - 🐱

YEAH THE ♡ LMFAO I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST A “good answer ♡“ heart BUT NOW IM RE-EXAMINING?????

honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if the three clans practiced inbreeding. but ik people are going to be  😡😡😡😡😡 about it when the queen of fucking england is literally married to her (something) cousin. i’m not justifying it but like....love the double standards, just as always with the west 😍

DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT FUCKING PED* LIST THEY SHOULD ALL BE IN JAIL. JAILLLLL. it’s all so gross. that’s why i fucking hate when people look towards manga for positive representation because the chances of that are super slim to zero, especially since the industry is saturated with misogyny and ped******* and a lot of other gross stuff.

i think ppl forget jjk is a horror manga LOL so obviously it’s going to confront darker themes. the question is whether it’s going to be done tastefully or not......

[imagineurfavs]

2PM Chansung: A-Z

“Hi! I don’t if you are taking requests but can you write the A-Z for 2pm’s Chansung? Thank you! I love your work btw💗” “Will u be writing a chansung A to Z ???” “Hi! Can i request an A-Z for 2pm Chansung? He's the only one missing and he's my bias so... I've live to read it. Thank you and have a nice day!”

A/N I’m so glad I got requests for chansung lol, he’s my bias and tbh i was feeling like no one was interested in him sfgjsfg I’m glad yall are thirsty for him too lmao

----------

A - Aftercare This is tricky lol, bc he’s certainly accommodating and sweet, but I really just...dont think he cares all that much about specific aftercare steps lol. It tends to vary from session to session, he’ll do whatever he thinks is necessary in the moment. You look particularly tuckered out? He’ll help you get cleaned up and dressed and whatnot. Things got especially messy? He’ll run you a bath. Basically, he doesn’t care about specific aftercare, but he’s still a sweetheart.

B - Body Part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner) On himself he likes his legs; they're big and strong and he’s fully aware of how much you like them too lmao. On his partner, he loves their lips, even just watching you enunciate certain words or eat certain foods really just sends his mind places lmao

C - Cum He much prefers to cum inside you, ideally he’d love to cum at the same time, it just feels so intimate to him. He’ll try his hardest to hold off if he feels that he’s coming undone too soon so yall can finish together. If not then he loves to come on your butt lol.

D - Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs) Chansung has always been super into photography. So, I feel like he’d be interested in taking some saucy pics of you, like, a full on boudoir shoot. Probably would wanna take some photos of the both of you, he’d make it explicit, but tasteful lmao. He’d feel like he’s making his own highclass softcore porn lol

E - Experience The man is 30 years old lol, of course he’s had his fair share of experiences. But with that being said, I picture him as having the least amount of experience in the group, that by no means means that he doesnt know what he’s doing, just that there’s a lot of avenues he’s yet to explore lol

F - Favourite Position Missionary is usually the go-to, just bc it requires the least amount of energy lmao. Either that or he loves loves looooves to have you on top, that way he can just lay back and bask in your beauty 

G - Goofy (are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous etc) I dont think he’s ever really capable of being 100% serious, there’s always a bit of a lighthearted atmosphere whatever the two of you get up to lmao. He’ll try his utmost to make you feel as comfortable as possible by making jokes and comments, usually at his own expense lol.

H - Hair (how well groomed are they) It’s not something that he pays an insane amount of attention to, but he’ll keep it tidy lol

I - Intimacy (how are they during the moment, romantic aspect) I feel like the build up is intimate, like, the intense making out and the foreplay is super intimate. He’ll be whispering words of adoration to you as he kisses over your body. But, the second he’s actually inside you, it’s like his brain just logs out lol.

J - Jack Off (Masturbation) He’ll literally just do it whenever the feeling takes him; whether that be multiple times a day, or not even once for days on end. If the desire comes and he’s alone with time, then he’ll got at it lmao

K - Kinks (one of more of their kinks) Aside from enjoying a little bit of restraint here and there, I feel like by and large he’s pretty vanilla. He likes the standard y’know lil bit of biting, hickeys and probably spanking if he’s really getting into it lol. But nothing that I feel like really qualifies as a kink kink. Maybe he’d be open to bringing food into the bedroom if he was feeling super duper spicy

L - Location (Favourite places to do the do) He’d enjoy it anywhere with enough room where yall can totally sprawl out and move around to your hearts content. It’s not even that he’s into getting into all these weird positions that require a lot of room, he just a big guy, and comfort always comes first lol

M - Motivation (What turns them on) He’s a simple man, seeing you dressed even the slightest bit seductive will send his mind straight to the gutter. Even with just the slightest bit of thigh on show, he’ll be all over you in minutes guaranteed lol

N - NO (something they won't do, turn offs) No sharing. I feel like he’s the tiniest bit insecure in his skills (no idea why though lol) so I feel like watching you with someone else could really hurt his pride.

O - Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc) He really goes for it when he goes down on you, he’s not afraid to get super messy. Likes to see you blush so he’ll deliberately make the most lewd noises and just watch you get all flustered lmao. He can get kinda fidgety and whiney when receiving oral lmao.

P - Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc) Usually stays at a happy medium; not insanely fast, but not painfully slow either. His thrusts are firm and strong, but not so rough you’ll be feeling it for days afterwards lol

Q - Quickies (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc) Eeeeeh, he’s not really a fan. He just really likes to take his time with everything. I feel like oral is the most he’d do if either of yall were in a rush; he’d rather skip the opportunity for sex than to have the sex be rushed and bad lol

R - Risk (are they down to experiment, do they take risks?) He’s open to it...but he’d rather not. I just feel like he’s someone that knows what he likes. Once he finds his lane, he stays in it lol. So if there was something you really really wanted to try out, he wouldn't necessarily say no, but you’d have to warm him to the idea lmao

S - Stamina (how many rounds can they go, how long do they last? etc) He can honestly last however long you need and then some lmao, he likes to draw out each round as long as humanly possible, until your both just totally spent. With that in mind, I think you’ll only get one round out of him lol

T - Toy (do they own toys do they use them on a partner or on themselves?) They’re not really something that he’ll ever have of his own volition, but he’s certainly not opposed to you buying any and using them. Who knows, maybe one day he’ll let you use them on him.

U - Unfair (how much they like to tease) Eh...I don’t think he’s all that much of a tease, at least not on purpose anyway, he just doesn't have the patience for it. That’s not tot say he doesn't enjoy being teased though, he lowkey enjoys having you make him a needy mess

V - Volume (how loud are they, what type of sounds they make) He can be pretty vocal, usually a mix of low grunts, sighs and breathy sounds that vaguely resemble your name. He’ll go out of his way to ask you to be vocal though, he finds every sounds that comes out of your mouth so sexy lmao

W - Wild Card (a random headcannon) For the most part Chansung is a pretty vanilla guy. But that’s not to say there isn't anything that has piqued his curiosity. He kinda wants to try mutual masturbation, and maybe some kind of role play scenarios. The closest he’s got to the former is coming home a early and jacking it the the sounds of you touching yourself from the room next door. But he just doesn't really know how to bring it up bc it’s so out of the norm for him. So he just waits hoping that one day you'll ask him.

X - X-ray (what's going on inside those pants) I feel like he’s modestly packing lmao. He’s probably average, maybe a tiny bit bigger but with some super nice girth lol

Y - Yearning (How high is their sex drive) He’s like a teenage boy lol. He’s basically always ready to go if you are. Honestly the second you give him the green light he’ll be all over you

Z - Zzz... (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards) Mans will be passed out almost as soon as he pulls out of you lmao.

[mental-health-advice]

trigger warning for not wanting to live, trans struggles, self hatred

sorry that this is super long and whiny, no pressure to respond but thank you a lot if you do!

hello there! I'm currently unable to access therapy so I can't get diagnosed. I was already diagnosed with a sensory disorder as a child and general anxiety. I know I can't self diagnose but I want to better understand what's going on with myself and at least have an idea. Throughout my life I've felt really badly depressed. I can't remember the last time I wasn't depressed, it must have been when I was really young. The depression never goes away. It is occasionally less severe but only when I'm escaping reality. I'm transgender and I am not out to most people. I can't stop thinking obsessively about getting surgery. I fear deeply that I've been influenced somehow to feel transgender, because I don't usually feel a want with such conviction. I am never decisive, I always doubt myself, but I am so sure about how badly I need surgery that it scares me. The fact that I physically cannot stop myself from thinking about it is really concerning. My life is falling apart around me, I'm constantly failing and losing everything, and all I can think about is this daydream of getting surgery instead of fixing my life. I'm scared that I don't really want surgery and that I'm actually just telling myself that when I get surgery I will be able to fight my depression. I fear that I'm lying to myself about needing something to make it better when nothing can really heal me from depression. I understand that it won't just go away, but I want surgery so badly that I feel like it is the end goal so I can start living. It is the only thing that keeps me alive sometimes is the idea that I can do it one day and live my life and cope with depression. Sometimes I feel happiness for a second and it makes me so uncomfortable and scared because it's so foreign to me. I feel so alone. I have always felt so awful and sick about myself in every way. I don't even understand fully why I feel like I'm transgender. I know I've always hated my body and wanted to be a different gender, but I wonder if I am not trans and I actually just have self hatred problems. Inside I really do want someone to tell me, yes it's okay to be transgender and you're not wrong, go get surgery and then you'll be able to live your life. But not only is that confirmation bias ridden, wanting to hear validation so I run away from any transphobia, but. I also worry deeply that I will get surgery and then remain just as depressed because I am the problem. I feel like I am the reason my life falls apart. I dropped out of college 2 years ago and left my job and i tried going back to school but i failed my classes. I am living with my family again and I work for them but I don't really get paid enough to save anything. I'm too depressed to think of what i want to do in the future even though they ask me all the time what my plan is now that i failed again. I cant talk honestly to them about any of this. Im so scared of it i have constant nightmares about them knowing anything about me. I try to stay positive but i feel broken and useless. i am failing in every way. i dont know what to do im really desperate. Thank you a lot for being here for people.

Hey lovely,

I’m sorry to hear that you can’t access therapy. I do hope this will become a possibility in the future, so that you can get properly diagnosed, but most of all, so that you can get the treatment you need and deserve. Like you might know, we don’t promote self-diagnosis for the reasons listed here. However, we do think it’s good to be aware of your own symptoms and try to understand them better.

I’ve personally been diagnosed with Persistent Depressive Disorder (Dysthymia). This is when your depression lasts longer than two years. Throughout dealing with PDD, there can be major depressive episodes, since the depression with PDD tends to be slightly lighter / not as heavy. A different term for PDD is chronic depression, which I personally found really scary because I felt like it’d mean it’d never stop. The term chronic here is meant more as in ‘long term’, rather than ‘forever’.

It sounds like you see surgery as a chance for your depression to fall away. While I do think that you can feel better after surgery, feel more like yourself, I doubt that not having had surgery yet is the sole cause of your depression. It’s usually more complicated than that. So it can be tricky to expect so much of it, because then you can only be disappointed and I wouldn’t want you to have to go through that.

It also sounds like daydreaming about your surgery, is something that holds you up. It helps you manage your current mental state. And I’d say that’s okay! We all need something to keep us up, to escape the reality of mental health struggles. Of course you do need to face it from time to time, but you can’t do that all the time. You need an escape sometimes. So if that escape is daydreaming about surgery, I don’t want to take that away from you! I have my escape too, I read a lot of books where I can escape into different worlds.

Feeling depressed can become a security blanket too. It’s a familiar feeling. You know what it’s like. So then when you feel happiness, or at least a bit happier than usually, it’s scary. You don’t recognise that feeling. It’s completely new to you. So it feels uncomfortable and you try to get back to feeling depressed, because at least you know that feeling.

I can’t look inside your head, so I can’t tell you whether you’re transgender or not. But I can tell you that it’s completely okay to be transgender! You mention that you’ve always wanted to be a different gender, which sounds completely valid to me! Even if you hadn’t felt that way always, you could still be transgender. It’s okay to be transgender, it’s okay to want surgery. But I don’t know if it’s fair to expect to be able to live your life without depression afterwards.

Sometimes, thinking about the future can be too overwhelming. That’s what I find at least! I dropped out of uni and have been working ever since, but if I think about the future and going back to uni, I get overwhelmed. So I try to focus on the present. I’m working now and that’s okay. It’s okay for where I’m at right now. If I manage to feel better mental health wise, then maybe I can think about going to uni again. But right now that isn’t doable, so I don’t consider it. Do you think this approach might be helpful for you too?

I hope this helped at least a little bit! If there’s anything else we can do to help, please let us know.

Sometimes what seems impossible, is just hard. Love Pauline

[pinktatertots99]

...so...is it too late for me to re-make the almost entirety of candy into my own self indulgent bullshit? dont try to make sense of some these pics some are either old ideas or me bullshitting cause my mind runs a bajillion miles per hour and made an alt idea: tootsie-verse where shit might make slightly more sense and i get to have fun with ideas i didnt get to see be possible.

so far plot so far ala everything:

-once the gang ended up at the 5-000+ yrs of earth c the original method WV had established had changed during that long time, with kingdoms being a revived concept, allie-ships between them broken or re-mad, laws of a firm unfairness and a seat for mayoresident of the earth kingdom needing a new canidate

-after dropping there catav had taken the currently refridgerated gamzee to the woods to help sober him up after everything, handing the corpse’s that were still in there to kanaya after she’d found the newly hatched mothergrub was low on material needed to activate it as the troll kingdom was on a rather firm law on how much to give making it difficult to get a full load.

-six years later -23 for everyone- things were in motion with everyone having some form of jobs as jane elected to work on becoming the new mayoresident of the human kingdom and fix these tightass laws, while conflicting with her past trauma, hiding it and trying not to show how fearful she has been lately over the highbloods -mostly the seadwellers-

-during this time the newest clutches of grubs were born, a handful being clones of past troll friends and allies as many came to celebrate with june -at the time not knowing her identity yet- finding the clone of vriska and casually wanting to adopt her, wanting her to live the human life she wanted before. of course the only way around this was adopting her via the consort kingdom's laws being much looser for trolls.

-also during this time a strange occurance involving another world’s meteor and child had crash landed in the marylonde backyard of their human kingdom two story vacation home, a child of both their genetics but more human dominant was there. both deciding it safe to adopt him but keeping the troll portions hidden once getting him schooled later on as the school’s there were the education they wanted him to have. having roxy help them with their aliby, using their carapacion ruler power to write up a fake adoption paper for him.

-also also during this time gamzee had made his return as catav’s new moirail and three sweeps sober, of course not everyone had a big ‘hoorah’ party for him, but it gained jane’s attention whose mental health was still going downhill aswell as what she’s heard of her other alt selves in the dream bubbles, and how well his jape’s and pranks were, causing a one sided kismesis.

-a year later-24 yr old- jane had become the new mayoresident of the earth kingdom, making new laws for human, consort and carapacion kingdoms...the trolls kingdom...she said was taking a while. during this time she, jake and dirk had talked over and compromised of letting her and jake be shared parents for an ecto-bio child due to jane’s wanting to be a mother, with shared custody for both parties.

-a year -25 yr period-after that the troll kingdoms rulers were getting impatient as jane had put them aside to continue her work, making up explanations for putting off getting their laws worked out. during this time ecto-bio-lab leader and work partner for skaianet labs jade harley had decided once ready all three pitched in their DNA, using her boss status to use the ecto-bio machinery to create their daughter. unfortunately she wasnt sneaky enough, being confronted by both english and crocker over this earth kingdom rule breaking, in the end forcing the three to keep their daughter’s existance to a minimal and for jade to be fired.

-during this time jane’s one sided kismesis became equal after a visit that involved catav and jake hanging out jane had left some soporifics around the clown, causing him to fall off the wagon hard after that. during the couple months back on his addiction catav was semi-convinced by kar to distance himself from their quadrant as it was draining him physically and mentally -which was semi right, but also was just cause kar was beyond pissed at gamz as no one at the time knew it was jane’s doing...except one-

-once falling the pieces together dirk had interrogated his friend for how she’s been acting the past eight years, things turning more heated then they should’ve as they sparred, ending in a slashed neck and an anxietic crocker unable to revive him out of fear of he and all her friends leaving her sneakily sewing up the slashed portion and sneaking to the furthest portion of his archeological bro’s forest trees with a rope wrapped around his neck.

-after a month a search party was made to find him lead by said cool archeological bro, only to be found a month later decomposed and munched on by outdoor critters. a funeral was set the next day. 

-the day after as caliope slept her alt-iope self had brought her and another universe version of her to her circle for help as her other version’s universe’s english was alive, traveling through space destroying everything in his path. aradia had busily made a small meteor team to help but alt needed a host body to warn the others and to join the meteor team, as the one version was used as a mouthpiece for her world’s gang, tootsie-calie and her wings were used to fly to space to join the others leaving a mourning roxy to fall off the wagon at two lost friends.

-a week later english fell off his first wagon, ushering jane to have full custody of their ecto-son, giving up his reign of the consort kingdom to june who stepped down as human kingdom’s ruler to take the consort kingdom job very seriously. after roxy had also dropped her crown to live with jane who offered to help her, despite how unfortunately unable she’d be at it keeping soporifics for gamzee. leaving the carapacion kingdom with the marylonde’s working overtime to keep it in check.

-ten years later the troll kingdom’s rulers have finally become impatient, interrogating crocker to confirm to them and herself her castest views on the highbloods, linking them as the reason she gave the troll kingdom no progress growth wise. this caused them to declare rebellion against her. despite the carapacios leaders being on their side, their kingdom’s people were anything but on their side due to past conflicts in the 5-000+ yr gap, leading the two to leave the kingdom to find new rulers to help the rebellion, while the consort kingdom left itself to be neutral in the situation for now.

-a day before harisn’s thirteenth birthday his mothers left the carapacion kingdom, moving to the human kingdom so he could still attend it’s school, despite the glares kan still gets.

-a week after tifney’s twelfth birthday, the vantas home was bombed as a warning to stop the rebellion, leaving only the third story burnt and their side to declare war.

-afterwards a now life ring wearing meenah and the leftover of the dancestors had fallen out of a mysterious black time portal hole, recruited to join the rebellion, making meenah the leader of the ghost train, the ghostly crew used to spy in the crockercorps’s buildings and make secret attacks on them, living in the marylonde’s basement of their new house. catav and aquisprites were recruited, given robotic bodies to help as the co-leaders if the ghost train and tech departments respectively.

-on vrasey’s thirteenth birthday at the troll kingdom’s sign-high an attack was made, causing many trolls above jade color attacked by locker bombs, swords and the declaration from the human kingdom’s ruler that any blood above jade was their target, causing many of the lowerbloods to rally against them into hiding and vrasey to be schooled in the consort kingdom. the sea of the troll’s beach bombed with a poison taking out most of its seadweller neighbors and fish.

-after this a highblooded rebellion was created underground, ran by teals as the rulers of it to achieve the goal of winning this war, taking out both sides who betrayed them. the elderly leader of the coming rebellion took in another teal, training her during this time and inserting her some bias he had at the time of the higherbloods’s status’s. 

-a month after travos’s sixteenth birthday he had involved himself in another kismesis scuffle as gamjane’s relationship was becoming more and more unhealthy, anger filled, only to end with a gash from a club to his head and after waking up covered in his dead blood. freaking out he drove off in his newly given airportable car as jane ushered a drunk roxy to make the corpse disappear, which she did, and having it reappear in harisn’s sylladex at school.

the kids:

harisn maryam lalonde -16-: harisn is a musical lover, extending to an orchestratal lover along with his mothers as he picked up the interest of persuing the cello in his music class. he lives an easy breezy life as his moms limited him to stay out of the rebellion when it started and he at the time was thirteen. he has a sweet tooth and interests in sewing for school musical attires and occasionally being a step in actor for certain events, making sure his outfits warn on the other actors though are outstanding enough to be remembered.

vrasey serket harlenglker eggbert -16-: vrasey never had alot of friends, even before moving to the consort’s firedile high and going to troll kingdom’s sign-high she was much too ambitious with hard pranks and thrill for action for many. she’s a fan of action movies with a hint of comedy and romance, sparring with her mom and recently recovering uncle who lives with them now, and having a bit of a fashionista side of re-creating her hand-me-downs. is mostly kind to her relatives but will snip in some cases.

travos english crocker -15-16-: growing up in a soporific filled household with no father figure thats present enough and an unhealthy kismesis couple travos had grown to be soft, quiet and anxietic at the smallest of actions and tones, closing himself in his room being homeschooled for most of his life. he’s perceptive of others emotions surprisingly able to know mostly how someone feels. he’s also known for having alot of knowledge on carapacions history, traditions and a dozen of their words in their language, but shut in enough to only ever tell this to his summer school going semi-relative harisn, until his mothers left the royalty and ultimately the kingdom but both stay in touch.

tifney vantas strider harley -15-: the star soccer player of troll kingdom’s sign-high tifney is protective and not approachable, not due to how mean she is she’s nice, but mostly due to how intimidating she looks. ever since the beginning of the war she has since tried to know all she could secretly from her parents despite their best efforts not to get her involved. she gained kar’s love of romance’s but also soap opera’s and napoleon ice cream.

claret pyrope -16-17-: the recent ruler of the underground highblood rebellion ‘high-revive’. born and raised in dolorosa’s cavern for orphaned wigglers she lived an introverted life as her rebellious, childish and slightly aggressive way of playing pretend led to many not staying for long. being in the system however she was still authorized to go to school, until the attack happened, causing her to end up with a horn and eye slashed, taken in by the newly formed high-revive’s leader, to become its newer leader. she takes her job overly seriously, giving more benefit to trolls then humans. she’s stubborn and believes the law and method she’s making to be the only way to gain a winning in the rebellion. she looks up to past teals in the history specifically the pyropes and redglare, basing all she’s doing off the knowledge of them thanks to schoolfeed.

reeffi peixes -16-: after the waters of her and her moirail’s home were poisoned both escaped thanks to her heightened smell, being found by claret at 15 and taken into the high-revive. reeffi was trained to become the new heiress of the rebellion after learning her blood color’s status in the past, wanting to do so to make things peaceful for everyone even if violence had to happen. she’s protective of her rail and considers herself to be the one to defend everyone from danger. she’s snarky, and has a thing for causing mischief and simple but stylish fashion.

marche ampora -16-: just like his moirail both share the common knowledge of not knowing their ancestors, born and raised with his rail in the seadweller side kingdom, made after the troll kingdom rulers had returned and made a compromise. marche is naive of his highblood status not grasping what it’s worth is. he’s timid, shy, outwardly vunerable and coddled slightly by his rail but also easy to annoy but keeps it quiet. is also very protective of his rail but keeps that also quiet despite his annoyance for being protected so much he’s been deemed not qualified to fight with anything. later on he grows an interest for expensive and rich looking fashion and not wanting too much responsibility that isnt his own things.

[yyxgin]

dunnae worrae bestie ❣️ life gets in the way sometimes (and responsibilities)

okay so i just liked the kind of air to love alarm? idk it just made me feel like i was somewhere else bc i felt the production quality was that high. some of it was questionable i do agree w that but also song kang is total heart-eyes 😍 and meteor garden was sweet for like a minute each episode and the rest was me groaning in agony just wishing dong shancai would snipe daoming si’s mother. shancai did so much too?? like four episodes in she won a cooking competition against a girl who had literally been professionally training to impress one of the boys ✋ but shancai literally came from almost nothing. also — i’ve never been more frustrated w a drama than meteor garden like sis was literally dirt poor, came close to being evicted twice and her parents moved back to their fisherman hometown leaving her in shanghai (i think?) to make money bc they couldn’t afford the city but she had the newest phone 🛑✋

very early on in my kpop days i had no idea who to bias or however that worked and i was like ‘well i like stray kids i’ll just buy an album’ anyway one of the pc’s i pulled was a polaroid type thing for changbin and i said to my friend wow that’s such a boyfriend picture and that’s the story of how i ulted changbin. im so blasé about so much it’s worrying sometimes 🙀🙄✌️✌️ im not too bad about watching things. i used to struggle a lot but bc i’ve trained myself to read fast enough to see the subs and then flicker to the scene on screen so i don’t get bored. i do feel sometimes as if i am following when i’m looking at my phone but realistically i shouldn’t be this bold 😬

noice!! i’m still new to adulting but i’m p sure ive been at it for longer than i think. when i was fifteen and working in a hotel i was asked if when i was finished for the summer i was going back to uni 🤡 all i keep thinking about is finally having a job again and being able to spend an entire pay check on albums ngl i haven’t impulsively bought anything recently and i’m itching to be irresponsible w my money again 🤠 i know some girls who have preordered all the versions of dream and MAN am i tempted 😭😭😭 this is getting so out of hand at this point i’m going to have to strap myself to my bed until june this is not it ☹️

i have read for nct members certain members are more popular in like eastern us? i imagine it’s to encourage trading or to buy more albums so i could only guess that’s what’s happened to me w mamamoo 😭 theyre thé only gg i am properly into. i didn’t want to be thirsting over boys all the time bc... idk i just wanted some variation so mamamoo it was! twice is too many people for now (don’t even say but nct has 23, ik ik but i was only on my second group and i refused to acknowledge more than one unit for like 7 months bc i was scared) and blackpink has like 2 songs 🤡🤡 i added this bot called zephyr to my discord server and me and my friend roll for collectible kpop cards (it’s p neat and i’ve found groups i wouldn’t have been able to find myself otherwise) and she’s helped me discover so many groups! i think i was enjoying a fromis_9 song earlier <3

i’m always having good days these days 🥺 so i hope yours was good too!! also i don’t expect you to reply to these straight away (bc they’re unnecessarily long) i just try my best to reply straight away otherwise i’ll forget i even sent sumn in the first place! ~🌻

the production quality was definitely very high with love alarm, it looked so nice and aesthetic :(( but like,,the storyline ?? when they kissed in the first ep?? i- that was it for me. i couldnt watch it any longer. my best friend  finished it tho and i think she liked it,,so like-- fair.

PLEAAASE METEOR GARDEN SOUNDS SO MESSY i lowkey wanna watch it just for the shits and giggles now,,i can’t,,, like the cooking competition? that sounds like a fucking disney channel plot to a movie. i am all here for it tho

YOU HAVE A CHANGBIN POLAROID OKAY BESTIE I AM ON MY WAY TO ROB YOU NOW. DROP YOUR ADDRESS,,,DEADASS. AAAAH also i am bad at watching things to the point when i forget to turn on the subtitles sometimes and then get surprised when i dont understand a shit anD THATS when i realise somethings wrong. 

i am so new to adulting pls,, this is my first part time job and i also didn’t have a bank account until literally today. i am a babie,, i couldn’t even do things by myself like i can’t fucking order for myself in the restaurant because i am socially anxious hihi. bUT i figured working with people might help me get rid of that and i am also fullfiling my childhood dream of working behind the cash register now, so that’s cool. the only thing i need now is to graduate, go to uni and do my driver’s licence and then i’ll be adulting for real imo

i am really good with money surprisingly?? i dont spend much, because i dont have money lmao and when i do i keep it because i just like the thought of having money and not the actual spending. YOUR FRIEND BOUGHT ALL THE VERSIONS OF THE DREAM ALBUM??? LOWKEY ME FDKAJ no but fr i think i’m just gonna order the boring version once i start working because it fits my aesthetic the most and i love the concept photos. also if i pull that one specific renjun photocard i might just cry my eyes out but i’ll be happy with anyone bc i literally ult the entirity of dream at this point. 

ooh i dont really enjoy the sound of girlgroups i think ?? i need some noise if you know what i mean :( im not into like chill songs that much. bUT uhh i like itzy and i am gay for them pls. i also havent listened to their comeback yet so i am a fake fan i guess but i’ll fix that soon i prOMISE

i am doing well and i am also glad you are doing well !! <3 your asks make me so happy dfjka i finally dont feel as invisible on this stupid site lmao. also thanks for understanding that i dont reply that quick, but i tend to just uhh leave things be for a while ?? like i get a message and i dont always reply straight away for some reason. but yea. thank you !! <3

[ilikeswishcheese]

Human reasoning is dog shit. Im a philosopher and i say this very unproudly. But human reasoning is so dogshit. Like we think we're some high and mighty creature who stands the test of logic by contemplating the fallacies and coming to correct decisive conclusions.

But no, male brain go BOOBA and most reasoning falls apart when threatened to be outed by society. You cannot reason properly when society kicks you out, which is why people will come up with conclusions and find reasons to prove that they're right. this whole confirmation bias is a direct result of humans being a social creature. Who needs to reason? that might lead to conflicts of interest or logical fallacies, when i can just repeat the thing that others are saying and instantly get likes and retweets that make me feel like im part of the group.

Its such a shame that human intelligence only stretches till it reaches our social circle, and every body outside of that has no actual impact on my life. like for the first time in human history, we have had unfettered access to people from all over the world, yet our ideas and political beliefs only stretch to our small close knit group.

My ideal global age, is a revolution away from national governments. and a direct focus on small local communities.

A global pandemic? Global warming? these are all Earth level problems, that feels like the entire earth needs to respond too. but its hard to get the entire world to agree on something, let alone something based on science. So why not break it down into small more manageable problems.

the ideal is to have way more responsibilities fall on local government, because the idea of having to actually interact with your community and share ideas and help eachother out is exactly what humans have been doing since we became hunter/gatherers.

we roamed in tribes of 4-50 people, and the people who were in that tribe was everyone we'd ever meet. so any policy decision we made in our group could be made in 1 sitting over a couple of discussions.

Now if we want to change the policies of the globe, we cannot do the entire world at once. I dont know exactly how it would work, but i think it would be best if humans returned to the close knit circles that has been our culture for thousands of years rather than try and completely change the way our brains are structured so they can understand and debate at the global scale what to do about global warming. My biggest gripe with humanity has to be agriculture tho.

humans have been deteriorating since the shift away from hunter/gathering to agriculture. Since then, the average human has been the peasant. The working class. The farmer, cashier and factory worker. All of these jobs lessen human desire and passion. (aside, ofc you can like farming and doing physical labour, but thats besides the point).

Lets do a quick comparison. For the hunter gatherers life was so good. You hunted and gathered for 3-4 hours a day. (Thats 3-4 hours and walking, running and general exercise). very healthy. Their diets were diverse, with berries, protein, fish, and every plant that could be eaten. And with a revolving menu that changes depending on the season and the weather its a dietary success. On top of that, no one in society ever felt elevated or better than any one else, arrogance was for yourself (to prove you could do it). No one was better than anyone else because the idea of owning something (and that thing having inherent value) had not even been invented yet.

For the farmer. depends on the season, but if its planting season hes spending 11 hours that day ploughing and planting while crouching and getting up in the same position (apparently all of our back problems in old age started to appear as soon as we switched to agriculture). Then if its harvest season, hes spending 6-10 hours harvesting, packaging, grinding the grain etc etc. And on top of this, you dont get a diverse diet, you get bread and maybe a little taste of soup with some fat. And thats everyday, for the rest of your life. And if that wasnt bad enough, because people could store grains, and own the grains that meant that someone had to be in charge of all this grain. Has to be someone appointed by god. and has to create a hierarchy that favors them obviously.

In conclusion, life as a hunter gatherer 1000% better than being some 21st century blogger with a league and weed addiction

[littlebabycrybtch]

bro..... im sooo tired of ppl being whiny freaks about ppl liking fictional shit ‘~too much~’. like bitches are literally fully convinced if you prefer acting out certain ideas in fiction but not irl, thats not your normal preferential boundaries but rather your brain is a mental illness BOMB and you need to be fucking hospitalized for being imaginative and having autonomy. like yall if its not taboo or smth shut uuuuhp man you’re not ‘concerned for their health’ or w/e you’re fully just tryna get away with being a nihilistic asshole who lacks sympathetic reasoning skills. listen to me. fiction is valuable. the thoughts we have on it are important. the personal lack of value you happen to put on a media is next to worthless. its not a fuckin waste of time dude, creators are people, who live in the real world, they experience it and have ideas through it and about it, they form and tweak their ideas while still definitely existing in the real world, and then put that back into the world with a new angle and new perspective, to share with other people definitely encountering it in , you guessed it , the real world. thats not disconnected. its not nothing. these things do not magically appear from fairytale land, they are created. stories mean smth, people tell them for a reason, its ok to feel smth for any story, why would we even tell them if not with the intention to impact others emotionally somehow i mean??? fiction does not Just affect reality, it is valuable to real life society, it is a functioning thriving part OF reality. 

humans have told stories since the dawn of our existence. it is literally all but an inherent species trait for us to imagine things, its tied to each and every one of us, and to reject ‘fantasy’ as smth worthless to human life is frankly just fuckin wrong and weird of you. bitch we are Supposed to get outside the box, the fandom ppl you cringe your pants over arent thinking abt fake shit too much, you guys very often just arent exercising abstract thought and imagination enough, which actually hurts your ability to engage with it critically in all the ways its meant to be. if you dont see the value in fiction its because you put in no effort to form the analysis skills. in other words, you idiots dont get the hype bc you’re too stupid to get how you're supposed to compare a book to the real world it came from. ‘uu but cmon not everythings valuable what about [tumblr designated cringe media]-’ 1. ok! somehow you havent come to this conclusion yourself yet but thats not real, whatever ppl get to enjoy is not all abt you, your bias means less than dirt to others outside of hivemind social medias, you can keep it to yourself, ppl shouldnt care about it bc it means nothing outside of ur own space, its literally funny to me that you’re so elitist you want me to cater my interests to you, Your Standard Of Quality Isnt Universal, 2. ranking the values of fiction is the waste of time here, if you compare mlp to pride and prejudice ill dissect your teeth, different emotional impacts from tragic to funny to Just A Vibe are all able to be assessed as ‘valuable to somebody else so leave well enough alone’ if you dont have 2010+ funnyman brainrot disease that makes you incapable of reflecting on anything you can find a way to joke abt first.

i mean seriously like. whenever randos start engaging with medias you ppl dont like or in ways you dont get, the strawmans yall make up to get to be cringe culture vultures abt such benign shit, and almost Always at the expense of neurodivergent people with a deeply rooted undertone of extreme ableism might i add..... its just so selfish. u have a brain ok, you’re manipulative but we both know you dont Actually think ppl automatically default to being a waifu obsessed incel rotting away at their basement computer, stagnating their social skills and straying further and further from reality with each passing day, a poor disturbed wretch that you just HAVE to save from themselves, all bc they say they. prefer fictional porn or w/e to having sex irl. buddy thats not a big deal, theyre normal, just different from you. theyre fine, you’re just uncomfortable. as a functioning adult you’re gonna have to try and recognize that sometimes that feelings gonna be 100% on you, and you cant always just lie abt the validity of it to make ppl feel obligated into agreeing with you. this is gonna be one fragment of their personhood and your self obsessed brain imploding over how unrelatable that is doesnt fucking matter, grow up bitch like. how detached do you have to be to think thats so unstable or morally wrong.... its just a completely inconsequential preferential decision that only affects them and isnt a wrong choice at all cuz nobody has to get their dick wet if they dont wanna for any reason ever and thats gotta be that tbh.... and it kills me cuz they still inherently experience the real world and are capable of thinking abt it critically,,, even tho they... masturbate to drawings or w/e the fuck ppl think is unhealthy ???? like? imagination is just fun we dont need to moderate it anymore than we moderate other fun activities i mean lol ksdjfsd this is the DEFINITION of ‘just vibing’ no one FUCKING cares and it deosnt fucking matter the way you desperately try to make ppl think it does just so u get to be loud abt ur shortcomings as a decent understanding person. 

‘uuuuuu im sorry but thats unhealthy :///’ you sound like a goddamn maniac dude stories are not unhealthy having feelings abt them is not unhealthy thinking some anime bitch that was DRAWN TO BE HOT , IS HOT, is not UNHEALTHY and you clowns arent convincing anybody you ‘care’ abt that concept anyways !! im losign my mind here skdlsdfsd medias are literally DESIGNED TO DO THIS TO PEOPLE... WE’RE SUPPOSED TO FEEL THINGS FOR IT.... IT IS WHAT MAKES THE ART WE’VE TAKEN PART IN FOR CENTURIES, “ART”.... ITS JUST... HAVING IDEAS AND EXPERIENCING IMAGINATION..... whats wildly unhealthy actually is yalls toxic obsession with ‘harsh truth’ and validating your stupid ass cwinge feewings to the point where everything that gives your underdeveloped selfish ass hives has to be a matter of health and morals and whats ‘best’ for everyone. u dont know that shit!!!! ur a petty brat and im not ur mommy ok i wont baby you so u dont feel like the shitty whiny person you are, you need to grow and do better and think outside urself already, dont put the responsibility of making u feel right for judging somebodies benign hobbies on me. i wont bc its wrong and unnecessary. you’re not a savior no ones falling for that lmao you’re just a bitch girl xoxo get over it shit truly does not matter. let them write nsfw self insert fics instead of banging !! 

to make it real do yall really not Get that basic consent kinda doesnt just mean ‘no when im not in the mood at the time’ but it means ‘no if i just dont fuckin feel like having sex ever for literally any reason at all bc i choose what i do’ and pressuring them, even with what your warped brain translates as the best of intentions, is inherently disgusting? especially with the ‘i know how to help you’ attitude like......... ohhh die soonly ew lmao! lay off this nasty shit already please it doesnt matter! stop trying to make it matter!! its not hurting you or them you stupid tumblr phd ass!! and like again yeah some media shits just truly gross but tbr now its like even That kind of shit, the Real social issues caused by Actually problematic media that ppl should discuss Genuinely without ulterior motives, is being used more and more rampantly as just a stepping stone to get to the needless mockery of other harmless things in the media they want an excuse to bag on.......... like a bitch cant just be grown and talk about problems at face value without getting a bully jab in. smhhhhh you all fuckin suck please just stop talking already. so anyways yeah being attracted to fictional characters instead of real people or w/e IS funny, funny how many boyfriends they have when u have none xoxo theyre having fun and you can die sad abt it they get to die 5 times in an angsty fantasy fic and be brought back with mouth to mouth by fuckin kakashi every time and then they go get lunch irl while ur updating tinder bitch ... different fucking strokes ig !

[chaninfused]

Hey so I'm an anon who pops in sometime. I had no idea you were feeling this way. I'm a student rn so I have to pic my way through your works really slow, but I want you to know I'm here! I've been dying to read the minho fic you posted a whole back and it's new sequel bc hes my bias and we need more good minho fics. I love your world building, by the way. Like a ton. You helped my find a missing fic on here a while ago (it turned out to be eye of heaven) I loved it. I also got to read candles in the sky a while ago, it was super good too (I want to go back and read it bc jisung has been wrecking but it's been midterms). I like the whole assasin au you did as well. I first found you because of the match girl and you honestly broke my heart 😥 never moved on from that and always live under the hopeful delusion you'll write an alternate ending.

It is clearly my grief talking but still.

I think I've read every single drabble (I try to heart every time) but sometime i come back just to be sure i havent missed any, esp when a bias wrecker comes calling and I want content. Tbh you're really good. Good enough youd never have to write for us for free. But I'm grateful that you do.

I confess, I dont get to engage with your longer works as much as I want to (if you ever wanna do chapters that would be fun bc it gives you a way to find your way back to the spot you left off reading easier 🥺).

But like, your descriptions are super good, your world building is awesome. I I'm too take the time really READ it not just skim it.

But, I'm sorry you havent felt appreciated bc honestly you're more engaging to me than a lot of published novelists. If you dont want to write because its not bringing you enjoyment or positive feedback, I understand. But you deservse to at least know how amazing and talented you are. I see other blogs talk about you and tag you a ton. But even so, to be honest I feel like the best writers on here often get overlooked you among them. So I understand, but please know: you are amazingly talented. I'll honestly be really sad if you go, but we arent entitled to your hard work and effort, and I get that. And know if you ever write original fiction I'd be down for it.

Anyway. Sorry this was long. And sorry I havent gotten to see some of your longer works yet but I at least want you to know u see them, and I plan too. I know that's not a big consolation but I do love your writing and I want to partake of it when I can actually truly read it. Thank you for your time and energy, and sorry if this is ramble but its 3am here but I couldnt not adress this.

Thanks for your time and investment,

-Anon.

That's ok no hurry! I just wanted to be sure it was there 🥺 also I wanna add I'm sorry I dont reblog more...I have friends in tumblr who dont know I read kpop fanfic...😥 I'm thinking of getting another one at some point so I can. But I want you to know, I would reblog your stuff a ton. That's why not, and I'm so sorry if its come off as apathy. 😥

hey, bubs! ✨ thank you for taking the time to write this out, I really appreciate it 💞

oh wow, I don’t know where to begin with this 😅

let me start by saying that I’m happy to know you’ve enjoyed several pieces of my work, including my blurbs. reading this yesterday helped me a lot 💕 and don’t worry, I’ll probably never leave as long as I’m in my right mind...

I know I don’t post as often as I used to a year ago, and my content has changed a little over the time, so I’m grateful that all of you are still here. don’t misunderstand me, it’s not that I don’t appreciate the humble audience I’ve attracted, it’s that I’m baffled at the counter effect of their growth. with the uncertainty of the tumblr tags, we writers solely depend on our followers to share our work. if neither tumblr nor our readers want to cooperate with us then expect that we remain active and happy, then we’re all set for doom. 

there are solutions if you look for them. one can always create a side blog to dedicate for their different interests, in regards to the situation with your friends. a lot of people do that, and you could try it too if you’d like! ✨

once more, thank you for this 💖 

(p.s. I don’t write alternative endings :P)

[choonlo]

Hey ⑇ p.js

a park jisung oneshot

genre : fluff

wc : 4k

The screams got noticeably louder when a familiar tune began to play from the speakers.

A bead of sweat trickled from the side of your forehead down to your neck as you desperately tried to fan yourself with your hands. Joined by a few other fans, the six members of NCT Dream were in the middle of the crowd, dancing to their latest song, "Boom". You hadn't expected this to happen—actually, none of the people here had, not even the host of the occasion. It was merely a coincidence, you thought. For Korean idols to appear and eventually join this random K-Pop dance event was something out of a fangirl's dream, your dream, and everyone else's for that matter.

As you rapped Jaemin's lines along with the crowd, you let your eyes take in as much of your bias as you could. Park Jisung was indeed just a few meters away from you. Hell, you hadn't had the chance to go to concerts your whole life, but guess what? Your very first one was free, and it was better than those VIP seats that you couldn't afford with the five bucks you called your "savings".

It was hot. It felt like the sun's rays were stabbing your skin, and the heat from being squished in the middle of the cluster of sweaty bodies certainly didn't help either. You ignored the pounding in your head and focused on Jisung who was now dancing to Chewing Gum. The corners of your lips twitched upward. It's been years since the song was released, and you could still remember the curly hair that had brought you into the fandom.

Despite the obvious changes from 2016 Jisung and the present, you could still feel the childlike innocence that radiated from him, the absolute cuteness that caught your eye when you first watched their debut video.

Minutes passed, and they were finally done. The host was now talking to the group, thanking them as each of the members took their turn in shaking his hand. Most of the people were filming the moment, wanting to have something to remember the experience with. You would've been doing the same, but you weren't. It didn't occur to your mind that you should've been doing something like taking a picture, of recording a video on your phone. Instead of doing any of these, you screamed.

"I LOVE YOU PARK JISUNG!"

You had screamed at the top of your lungs, your shrill voice piercing through and drowning out every other noise. Silence suddenly existed in the busy area you were in thanks to you, and you hadn't noticed what you'd done until Jisung's eyes locked with yours.

Actually, all eyes were on you, but it was as if you and Jisung were the only ones there, as cliché as it sounded. Was it mentioned that you were wearing a shirt with Jisung's name and face imprinted on it? And that your backpack was embedded with NCT enamel pins, half of them being, again, Jisung's face. Well, now you remembered.

Finally, you snapped out of your trance and slapped a hand over your mouth, face flushing when you realised the amount of attention being directed to you. A few people started laughing, giggling, whatever. Some went "aww" at your adorable reaction. This made you look down at your feet, and because you did so, you failed to see how Jisung's cheeks reddened, too.

×

Having finished your grieving session, you walk down the stairs to grab a glass of water, phone in hand. You've been wailing in your room for the past few hours, and you basically let your heart out as your parents weren't home yet. But you were probably loud enough that your neighbours may have thought of calling the police, which they thankfully hadn't.

"Legit, I wouldn't be surprised if Jisung has a fanboy crush on you right now," Kim clicked her tongue, her voice seemingly laced with excitement.

Videos of NCT Dream's appearance earlier had started to circulate the internet, not one from any of the social media platforms you used didn't have at least ten posts about the afternoon event downtown.

Of course, that wasn't what had gotten you riled up.

There were clips dedicated to you, most having your face clearly shown in them. Notifications from your phone blew up the moment you got home, friends and strangers spamming you with messages, and you weren't surprised that some even had threats.

Apparently, a lot had seen how Jisung reacted, and some speculations of you being someone more than a fan began to spread across the whole fandom. Oh boy, how you wished.

"Um, no," you retorted, placing the glass on the coaster as you plopped yourself onto the couch. "Did you even see my face in those videos? I looked like crap! Jisung probably felt embarrassed!"

"That's not the overly confident Y/N I know," Kim laughed through the phone. You roll your eyes at her comment. "You looked cute! Like, you looked haggard as fuck, but it was the pretty type of haggard!"

"What does that even mean?" You were annoyed, but you couldn't help but laugh at her statement. "This isn't a fanfiction, Kim."

She groaned, "Oh shut up, ten bucks to you if you don't get involved with NCT's Jisung within a month."

"Are you serious?" you replied, enthused. "You do know that I'm totally winning that bet?"

"Yeah, sure." As she spoke, you heard your phone emit a soft ring from the coffee table. You lean forward from the couch to peak at the screen, there was a notification from your social media, someone had just sent you a message.

"Was that yours?" Kim asked. Your response was a mere hum as you took the device into your hand. It was from a user whose name was literally "akzkjzjsj", and you almost ignored it if it weren't for Kim's comment; "I bet it's Jisung."

Squinting, you saw how the person's icon was a picture of the ceiling, nothing else but a light bulb in the image, like it had been taken just now for a one time use.

akzkjzjsj

: hey

Curious, you were. It didn't seem like a bot. Maybe the person would give you threats, too? It made sense, as it was an account that had just been made.

PJiuwusuwung

: whats up?

akzkjzjsj

: do u know nct

You scoffed, wasn't that already obvious? Ignoring Kim's voice, you typed in a reply.

PJiuwusuwung

: this is legit a jisung fan account ur talking to

akzkjzjsj

: ok

: can we meet up tomorok?

: tomorrow*

PJiuwusuwung

: um what i dont even know u???

akzkjzjsj

: that dog cafe downtown tom at 3 pm

: Nthnkzs (:

Your eyebrows furrowed. "What?" you let out a confused noise, beginning to type once again.

PJiuwusuwung

: wtf !

: what makes u think i'll go !

: hEllo? !

Noticing that your messages weren't sending, you clicked on the person's icon. A wry laugh bubbled from your throat, the person had blocked you. You exited the application and placed the phone back onto the small table.

"Are you done ignoring me?" Kim's irritated voice made you sigh. "What happened? Wait! Don't tell me Jisung actually contacted you."

"No, it wasn't him," you began, "Some guy—or girl, just asked to meet up tomorrow at that dog cafe we go to a lot. And guess what? The asshole blocked me before I could even reply."

"Don't go," she said with a stern tone. "It might be sasaengs, you should be careful when going out. Some people can be dumb enough to do something crazy before thinking twice."

Kim was right, but you decided to brush it off. "Calm down, it's not like I was planning to go anyway," you chuckled lightly, shaking your head.

"Yeah, good to know."

×

"Dad, I'm going out!"

"Where to?" he questioned. Slipping your shoes on, you thought of what your best friend had told you the night before. You technically weren't going to the cafe. There was a sale in the small store downtown, and you didn't want to pass the chance to get your hands on K-Pop merch for lower prices. Obviously, you had to ask for money from your mother, and she was reluctant to give you any, but you had begged enough that she was finally just forced to do so.

"I'm going to meet up with Kim downtown."

"Have fun," he replied. "Don't stay out too late."

After half an hour, you finally arrived. You entered the store, but not without bumping into a few bodies, the place was filled with people after all. Noticing how many customers crowded around the NCT section, you lowered your cap, and you snickered silently. Why were you acting like this? You thought you were being too dramatic, they probably had no clue who you were, anyway.

Your hand hovered an inch above the mask you wore before you stopped, hearing the conversation of the girls by the stand.

"Have you seen that video Jisung? The one where he acted weird when that one fan suddenly screamed "I love you" out loud?" one of them asked, studying Jisung's photocard in her hand.

"Who hasn't? Ugh, seriously, I would've went if I had known that Dream would show up!" the other whined. "The girl is so lucky, all the members looked at her at the same time! I would sell my kidney just to experience that!"

A shiver ran down your spine. It certainly wasn't nice to hear people talking about you, even though it wasn't anything bad, it made you uncomfortable.

Saving the money given to you was undeniably the better option rather than staying here. Right when you turned your back to walk out of the store, your head bumped into someone's chest. You softly mumbled an apology and stepped aside.

A hand grabbed your arm, and you felt yourself stiffen. Fuck, were you recognized? You didn't even wear the bag you wore yesterday, and you had normal clothes on, not those unofficial NCT shirts you usually used. How could someone possibly. . You tried to jerk your arm away from the person's grasp, but his voice stopped you.

"Good thing you didn't remove your mask," he remarked before pulling you out of the store. You knew better than to attract attention to yourself and the boy, and because you had an idea of who he was, you didn't cry for help. Once the two of you were a good distance away from the shop, you pulled your arm out of his grip and stepped back.

"What do you—"

"Don't worry! I won't do anything to you," the boy chuckled, shrugging his shoulders awkwardly. You look at him, he wasn't Jisung, the neon hair peaking out from the front of his hat said otherwise.

"Zhon—"

"Hey now! No blowing our covers!" Chenle hushed you as he crossed his arms, sending you a playful glare. He noticed your confused expression and sighed. "Why are you even here? Didn't we tell you to go to the dog cafe down the street?"

"Wh—" you paused. Realisation hits you like a truck and you gasp, hands moving to slap your cheeks. The person who had messaged you last night, the one who'd asked you to meet up. Was it Chenle?? "Why did you want to meet me?"

"Me? Oh no, not me! All we did was talk to you for Jisung," he explained, voice retreating to a soft whisper at the end of his sentence. Before he could say anything else, you cut him off.

"We?"

He tilted his head in confusion before letting out a sound and clasping his hands together. "I mean me, and the other members, aside from the youngest."

"You see," he continued, "Jisung basically developed a crush on you when he saw you yesterday! He couldn't stop asking himself, and us, what your name was and if he was your favourite among all the members—which was obvious because his face was literally on your shirt."

Chenle shuts his mouth, realising what he was doing. "I'm sorry for babbling. Jisung's waiting for you in the cafe, you should go now!"

He twirls you around and gives your back a push, snapping you out. "Wait, I—"

"Follow me," another boy shows up in front of you. You feel your head pound from everything that's happening, but you follow him nonetheless as he crosses the street. It takes the two of you a few minutes to get to the doors of the cafe, and you almost feel like fainting right there and then.

"I-I still have so many questions," you stare up at the person who escorted you to the cafe. The familiar eyes were enough for you to know that you were talking to Lee Jeno. "Can I pleas—"

"You should get in and sit down," he assured, giving you a pat on the shoulder. "You'll have your questions answered in there."

You nodded your head and tiredly pushed passed the door, the bell ringing from the motion. Puppies started to swarm around your feet, and you began to feel better as you squatted down in an attempt to stop the dizziness you felt.

As you pet the small poodle softly on its head, you take notice of the person who knelt beside you. Raising your head, your eyes immediately meet his. Jisung's face blushes a bright red, and you head the choked howling from the other side of the cafe. The other three members were clearly here.

"H-Hey," he uttered softly, averting his gaze onto the puppies that played with you. "I'm Park Jisung."

Despite the awkwardness, you didn't stop the laugh that bubble from your throat, and Jisung was glad that you didn't, because your voice truly was music to his ears.

"You didn't have to introduce yourself, Jisung." You wanted to give yourself a good ol' pat on the back as you smiled at him, making him even more flustered than before. It was weird, you should've been the one unable to talk properly! He was your idol, after all.

"Do you—I—uh, should—" Jisung was being the exact meme you'd expected him to be, and you felt your lips twitch at his cuteness.

"Let's take a seat on the tables—I mean chairs, the chairs, yes," he kept on stammering, standing up and holding a hand out for you. Now it's your turn to be awkward, staring at his hand for a long time before feeling the heat rise up to your ears.

"Oh, I'm supposed to—" you took his hand and stood up. The other members couldn't stop themselves from making noise. Chenle, who had already entered silently from behind the two of you, would've burst out laughing if it weren't for the four covering his mouth.

The two of you settle at the table further inside of the cafe, cautious of the fans that may possibly pass by. Jisung sat across from you, facing away from the transparent walls. Silence lasted for a long moment before he finally spoke up, "So, how long have you been a fan of our group?"

You looked up from the puppy on your lap and bit back a smile. He actually spoke without stuttering this time. "I started liking NCT when I saw Dream's debut video."

You saw the interest sparkle from Jisung's eyes as he leaned forward, intrigued. "I was actually skeptical about it first, because I wasn't quite a fan of cutesy concepts. But once I watched it, your unit became my favourite group."

"Why's that?" he wondered, tilting his head to the side cutely. An action so adorable that it made your heart skip a beat.

"W-Well, first of all, the song was catchy," you shifted on your seat, avoiding his gaze. "The vocals and raps were everything. I even spent my time trying to learn the choreography!"

You were about to start talking again before you remembered who was sitting in front of you. It was hard to do anything when you knew that the Park Jisung was giving all his attention to you.

The corners of Jisung's mouth quirked into a grin, he knew his effect on you, but he didn't want that to ruin this rare opportunity to be able to spend his time with someone he liked. "Hey." His voice made your shoulders jump. "Let's try to be comfortable with each other. Just talk to me, and I'll listen."

Because I want to get to know you better.

"Actually," he began when you finally faced him, "I was wondering if—"

"Sorry to interrupt," Renjun's voice startled the both of you, and Jaemin had to slap his shoulder to stop him from giggling. "Your drinks are with us,"

The two boys moved to the side of your table and placed each beverage on the coaster provided. Your eyebrows raise when you realize that the one given to you was your favourite. Jaemin was beaming, and seeing Renjun give you a polite smile, you decided not to question it and thanked them before they retreated back to their spot.

Either they stalked you hardcore, or they asked the lady in the counter for your usual.

"G-Go on," you shyly urge Jisung to continue, looking down into the glass as you look a sip from the straw.

"Can I get your number?"

He'd said it so softly, so sweetly, and oh so smoothly that you almost choked, shocked at his straightforward question. You face becomes beet red and you clumsily try to get an answer out.

Jisung sees how you react and panics as well, "I m-mean you don't have to! I just—"

"It's okay!" you cut him off, shaking your head profusely. He went silent, and so did you, not knowing what to say. What's next? Your mind was a total mess as you tried to think. Finally, you decided on getting your phone out, but he beats you to it, handing you his phone with a new contact ready to be added.

He knew that your first da—meeting, wouldn't go well. Jisung was an idol, and you were his fan. Although he was glad that you didn't go brain-dead, it was still a shame that the two of you couldn't speak to each other properly as it was, clearly, awkward.

That's why he thought that getting your number would be best, as he could easily talk to you without you seeing him get flustered about everything you did. It was an idea that he was proud of, so he couldn't help but bite his lip in an attempt to hide his smile as he watched you type in your number.

"H-Here," you return the gadget, looking away embarrassed and bewildered. Park Jisung asked you for your number. Park Jisung has your number. Park Jisung plans to contact you after all of this. The Park Jisung, actually knows you?

Jisung shot up from his seat, arm sticking out ready to catch you when you almost fell off your seat sideways. He moved to kneel beside you, pressing a hand onto your forehead and taking your wrist into the other, "Are you okay?"

It felt like your body was on fire when he touched you. "I-I-I am! Yeah, I'm good! Totally good!" you yelped, gently peeling his hand away from your head.

"But you're hot to the touch!" he protested.

"That's because I'm blushing!" you shook your head, pulling him up to stand. "I'm not sick, I'm just flustered."

"O-oh," he mutters, rubbing the back of his neck. "Sorry about that."

"Don't worry, it's not your fault!" Well it is his fault, WHAT WERE YOU SAYING? You mentally slapped yourself and opened your mouth to speak.

"I—"

"Jisung!" a voice softly hissed. Donghyuck moved hastily, slamming his hands onto the table harshly. He turns to your and gives you a smile. "Hello, Y/N."

"Hi?"

The boy laughs and turns back to his friend, shooting Jisung a panicked glare. "We have to go. Now. The manager is looking for us!"

Both your eyes widen and the two of you stand up in unison. Haechan pats Jisung on the chest before hurrying back, and Jisung looks back at you.

"I can see that you have to go," you gestured to the boys in chaos from the other side of the room. You quickly took notice of the apologetic face he had. "Don't be sorry, I understand. Now go! I don't want any of you getting in trouble."

Jisung nodded and took your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. Your breath hitched when he pecked your cheek before he runs out of the store with the other members, but not without sending you a last wave. You stood there, dumbfounded, a hand on the place where Jisung had kissed you.

A moment passes and you finally recollect yourself, staggering toward the counter to pay for the drinks you had. The lady smiled and returned the money, "Those boys already paid."

You uttered a soft "oh" before nodding your head and walking out of the cafe. Damn, the past hour felt like an eternity! You were dead on your feet when you arrived home, and you quietly made your way upstairs to your room as your father's snores echoed through the living room.

Crashing down onto the softness of your bed, you let out a tired moan. It didn't take long before you felt yourself drifting off to sleep.

×

A vibration from your leg woke you up, and you groaned as you sat up, rubbing your eyes and looking around your room. You yawned, stretching your arms out and arching your back. "That was one hell of a dream."

You reached for the phone that had gotten out of your pocket, and you blink. Why were you wearing the clothes you had on in your dream? A gasp escapes your lips and you quickly unlock your phone. An unknown number had sent you a message.

Unknown #

: hey

: its mee

You

: who is me?

: j88sufn?

: jisung??

Fingers shaking, you clicked your tongue as you had wanted to slap yourself for being so nervous.

Unknown #

: your one and only :))

You wanted to yell at the top of your lungs, but all that came out was a croak, your voice getting stuck down your throat.

You

: BUT i thought it was a dream?

: are u messing w me

The person takes time to respond before the bubble disappears. Instead, they sent a picture of you playing with the dog in the cafe you were in earlier.

Unknown #

: certainly wasn't a dream

: anywayyy how r u?

You take a full minute to process what was happening and slowly let your thumbs type.

UWUSUNG

: hold that thought

: i gtg for practice, i'll ttyl c:

: ♥️

What? Did Jisung just send you a heart? You, Y/N L/N, could talk to Park Jisung anytime you wanted to. It felt like a dream, like you were being one of those delusional fangirls. But you weren't, because this was real, you concluded after biting onto your arm.

You hadn't sent a reply back after that, as it was too much for you to take in. This only happens when your crush is in the same school as you, not when your crush is an actual idol from SM Entertainment!

You almost threw your phone the moment it rang, someone was calling you. Was it Jisung? No! He left to practice!

The contact "Kim✨😘" flashed from the screen and you sighed in relief, feeling your shoulders relax before you answered the call. Not waiting for her to make a sound, you squealed into the mic, earning a shout from her.

"What the actual FUCK?" she growled. You shrugged her clear annoyance off and started rambling about what happened. Kim, on the other hand, couldn't understand a word you were saying, telling you to shut up.

"Okay, calmly, tell me what happened," she told you, letting you breathe in normally. As you were about to speak, your phone vibrated, and you held it in front of you to check the screen. Jisung had sent you a picture of himself, although it seemed like it was taken by someone else. He was posing for the camera, a sheepish grin on his face as he went with the awkward peace sign.

You let out a laugh at this, finding the picture, which was presumably taken by Chenle, cute. You replied with a heart after saving the image.

"Hey." You heard her huff. "Did you hit your head or something?"

"Hey," you repeated, lips a permanent smile. "Let's meet up tomorrow."

"Sure, but why?"

"Because you're getting your ten bucks tomorrow."