#i dont have the money for new graphics again.

[paradiiselcst]

just a little update, still working on the new blog. i'm trying to make all my own assets so it's going to take me a bit to mush all three blogs together.

[nomairuins]

like i wouldnt mind like. Not having new linear games post 5 its judt that sims 4 wasnt even supposed to Be The Sims 4 it was a last minute pivot and the base code is so outdated and was broken On launch so like. i just wish we could have the final actual sims game be like. one that was always intented to be a major sims release AND be intended to be so long term . yk

[typheus]

grimm n vivi :p

[mgsdelta]

being poor is literally so miserable

[stil-lindigo]

You'r eunder no obligation to reply but I'd like to ask, how do you keep your head up these days considering the genocide? It's been nearly five months now, my entire family is giving up the stirke and falling into propoganda, and every time i think "surely this is the end, no way the us will keep supporting this, israel is on limited time" i keep seeing no end in my twitter feed to the countless losses, i keep seeing gore and childrens butchered on my tiktok. i dont wanna lose hope or faith but ive started feeling so depressed these days that i dont even wanna open my social media because i know what ill see. it might sound selfish but i hope i can open up my tiktok and see silly little people doing trends again instead of seeing one between 6 posts asking to use filters so that they can donate and detailing the necessities that israel banned from palestine and it just feels so soul crushing and hopeless. it makes me feel worse because if im tired of it then how do palestanians cope being in it? if you have any tips or good news id be grateful

hi anon. A lot of what Palestinians report first-hand is graphic, and horrifying, and would contribute to that soul-crushing feeling. But they are so tenacious, they have so much love for their people, their country. Often, Bisan or Motaz or Plestia when she was still in Gaza will share little slices of joy from displaced Palestinians. It reinvigorates me, and I'll often return to watch them when things seem dire.

A baby in Gaza, blessedly unaware of the horrors. Look at that smile!

A Palestinian mother makes donuts for her children, and offers Bisan one as she prepares for an interview. She (the mother) talks about how she makes treats like this to try to cheer up her children, how she keeps herself busy like this so she can't feel the grief of the situation. It is expensive to buy firewood these days, and flour. At her side, her children chip away at a block of wood to help her.

if you'd like to support people like this family, donate to CareforGaza, which directly distributes supplies and money to families in need. They have stopped donations to their Gofundme campaign due to overwhelming support, but you can still donate via the paypal link in their bio.

Young Palestinians parkour in the ruins of Gaza, to show that Israeli bombing will not kill their spirits.

Mo, a Palestinian man, buys cat food after searching for two days straight, and feeds the stray cats in Gaza.

Palestinian children at a refugee camp filming a cute video.

Although they've lost their home, a Palestinian family gather to celebrate their youngest child's birthday, complete with a small cake and a birthday hat.

Bisan makes bread in Khan Younis.

Palestinians celebrate the birthday of an injured girl in hospital, with a small cake. One of them has dressed up as a clown.

After losing 22 members of his family and being injured in a bombardment, a Palestinian man named Mohammed Al Ghandour marries his fiance in a tent.

A Palestinian journalist plays with a baby who survived an airstrike.

@/nisreendiary on TikTok documents the process of making fresh bread in a tent in a calming video.

I got most of these off twitter, from this thread. Twitter is a hellscape at the best of times, but the easy communication it provides is a blessing. I'll try to share more of the good news here, as they pop up. In the future, I recommend you follow Eye on Palestine, or Al Jazeera if you'd like to stay informed on the situation in Gaza with minimal scrolling.

[thedisablednaturalist]

My parents found out about the present I bought myself for my birthday. I worked my max hours to afford it. I had it shipped to my bfs house so they wouldn't see it. Apparently I missed a receipt that was hidden in the box. Idk how they got it anyway cause I put the box out with the trash/recycling. My mom was being so cruel about it and how I keep buying myself "lavish" gifts (most stuff I buy for fun is like $10-$50 max). I always plan my purchases and have never missed a credit card payment. Most of my money goes towards doctors visits, medication, car maintenance and gas, accessibility items/ergonomic stuff, cat food and litter, and hygiene. Recently I stopped most of my subscriptions save for a cheap minecraft server. The bulk of my pay goes into savings which have really grown since I got my raise. I also give my parents $400 in rent each month. I'm trying to save up for a recliner to replace my bed but I don't want to use the money I've already put away.

Like ok, maybe I'm not mr.frugal. maybe i sometimes buy more expensive things because they're more convenient (like already cut vegetables/fruit or preprepared meals) but like my hands fucking hurt and sometimes I don't have the spoons to feed myself. Maybe I fall prey to impulse purchases once in a while. Im learning and I'm trying to learn how to budget bc now I have to also pay for insurance until I can get on medicaid.

My mom acts like I don't care. She sees amazon packages come for me and think theyre all toys or expensive skincare or junk when its actually body wipes for when I cant shower/so i dont come back from the field to the office all stinky. Its a trash can I can keep on my bedshelf so I dont throw trash onto the floor instead. Its knee braces because my knees fucking suck. Once in a while Ill see something on sale that ive been wanting for a while and will grab it. And the most expensive skincare I use is $20 for a jar that lasts me 3 months. I have to keep my skin clear or ill pick and have scabs and blood all over my face again. I spend money on drag because it MAKES me money. Last time I got paid $100 from the venue and $50 in tips. One time I got paid $300 from the venue (i dont remember how much in tips).

Im trying my best. Im working with 3 government agencies rn to get a job and get health coverage. Im working my ass off at my job when i probably shouldnt be working (my mom laughed when I mentioned this). I'm constantly doing things to earn me money or to make life a bit less painful. Even streaming is a desperate attempt to make a career/side gig out of something I enjoy and doesn't make me flare up. I only watch shows when im with my bf or when im doing chores or working. I rarely play video games. When I flare I lay in bed and scroll Tumblr or play a mindless dress up game where I only have to move my thumb. I cry almost everyday. I cry on the way to work. I cry holding my cat in so much pain i cant move.

The only big frivilous purchases I've made is the present and a new graphics card (I haven't replaced my old one in a decade). The present cost $230 and the graphics card cost $800. Both of these I saved for. I might buy a nice skirt once in a while but thats pretty much it. I also spread out big purchases over time when I can.

Am I spoiled? Maybe. Maybe my parents are right and I'm a lazy spoiled kid who just makes excuses. But my pain is real, constant, and severe.

I have friends who's birthday presents consist of trips to fucking italy or the bahamas. Who complain when their parents drag them on yet another international vacation. Some are amazing people who are grateful and work their asses off. And some of them are a bit entitled. My mom said most 26 year olds are living on their own with jobs and I fucking laughed. The only 26 year olds with their own apartments especially in my area either have 5 roommates in a 2 bedroom shithole, got lucky and have a high paying tech job, their parents pulled strings to get them hired, or their parents are paying partly or fully for their apartment.

And when i tried to find an apartment? She discouraged me and told me id never be able to afford one (correct) but now im suddenly able to when it suits her argument? Ive been heavily job hunting for over a year and got ONE interview who ghosted me after two interviews. I make $2k MAX. Rent in my area is $1700-2500 for a freaking studio. The $1700 one doesn't let you see the apartment and gets snapped up immediately. And these are all apartments within a 2 hour radius. All the "affordable housing" is for people 55 and older.

Like I literally have no options. I can't move until I get a job in that area. I can't leave the country cause Im disabled and also thats fucking expensive. My bf makes less than me and even combined we couldn't afford a place.

Literally, I've never been suicidal before. Ive never struggled with that due to my fear of death. But all of this? Ive recently had suicidal thoughts and its fucking scary. Thoughts that killing myself would make it easier for everyone else. That it would be easier to just end it, that life will always be a living hell and i should just give up. And thats fucking scary! I shouldn't have those thoughts! But that's how bad it is.

I try to do what my therapist told me. I try to set boundaries. But setting a boundary means not eating dinner bc I leave when my parents yell at me. I try to think positively and ignore the pain. I probably walk an average of 1-2 miles a day. I try and try and try and it hurts so much. They can't be proud of me? For even big victories? Guilting me about graduation cause I took too long. Keeping a job for more than a year (its not a REAL job cause its hourly and doesnt have benefits).

Like what's the point? I've been fighting and fighting and most of the world wants to see me dead and gone anyway. I'm trying to work in a field that doesn't even consider people like me. If I cant work Ill just bring my boyfriend and my family down. Every step forward I manage to take I get dragged back 10.

Im so tired and ashamed and stressed and my fucking body hurts worse now because of the stress and i just dont want to wake up tomorrow.

[hekkoto]

DAAAAY 1: DEEP WOUNDS! Btw, its Gorenuary - challenge I gonna do in both January and February ;p yes, I have super slow start BUT let me say some stuff. Some unexpected shit happened but it seems to go into right direction [finally >XD] So, my main issue is graphic card - I borrowed money to get new one, first they sent me trash post-cryptocurrenty minning g card. But I eventually returned it and bought another one - even better one :> Buuuut here comes another issue, I have only 2 power cords for card and its need 3. I think I see there is one more tho I dont know how to open this power thingy aaaaaang i unplugged my mother board to not destroy anything while trying to take it out. Welp, idk how to plug in again >Xd but I asked my brother-in-law for help and he will come tomorrow and we will try to sort it out. Unless I dont have good enough power supply - then I need to replace it too ;) but I guess it will be just few days more. So I will be fully back tomorrow or next week ;p

this art is kinda scribble but I felt like I cant draw anymore >XD after some time I could controll my hand enough to keep drawing so sorry if my upcoming arts will be a bit rusty ;p

Everything should be posted regularly, actuallly my biggest issue are videos cause without my PC Im kinda stuck with super simple shit ;D

wanna support my evil dark empire? Im accepting souls on Patreon and Ko-fi! -> Hekkoto Huge thanks to all of my Patrons and people who donate 🖤

[fictionkinfessions]

hi its me again. havent sent in one in with this kin in a while but. i feel i should post more fics i have about my source but, i dont want to flood my source tag with them. i dont think everyone there would like them. i could try ao3 but idk how to work it with actually posting them. kinda just feeling stuck. i do have a writing blog so it's not a total loss.

but i do have some good news!!! i bought the first four games of source on steam since i had the money and an account finally. i only played the room one and the room three so far at least, and both of them are so much better graphically than the mobile games (but i still prefer them). one thing ive noticed is that the room one lagged a bunch on my computer, dont know if its a game issue or just my computer, but i managed to get to the epilogue.

think thats about it for this small update. i hope everyone has a calm time whenever you see this. see yall when i kinfess again! - null element (the room), #📼⚖️

[babyloniastreasure]

oh boy im stressed. gonna vent if you dont mind

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

im stressed about money again

everything seems to be going wrong financially at the worst possible time, all at once

our rent was raised by two hundred bucks. we’re barely scraping by as it is, and this drained what little we had in the bank. there’s no money for food or gas for two weeks. we’ll be lucky to be able to afford next month. my graphics card is dying and i get blue screen errors DAILY. when it does kick the bucket, I wont be able to draw so theres no chance of even earning anything to get a new one, which is like another $200+ at best. I have a doctor’s appointment next week that costs $160 out of pocket, which again we don’t have gas money to get to, but if I don’t get to it I can’t get my hormones. not to mention i’m losing my EBT benefits until mid september because of an error in paperwork, so we dont even have that to fall back on.

im. ugh. ugh dude. its like $600. between the replacement part and gas and bills and medication and food for the family for two weeks. i don’t even have SIX dollars to spare, let alone six hundred!!!

fuck man. im so tired of this

[fenderjess]

last night a cis woman asked me if I liked her top and it ended up making me cry

oh, it looks great, i said, but what's 'kors'?

"WHAAAT? Don't pretend you don't know who that is, EVERYONE knows michael kors! You know, the fashion designer?"

can't say i do, i respond

"Wow, that's surprising! well, what's your favorite brand?"

favorite brand. what an odd concept.

how do i tell her ive never been interested in flashy expensive things. that even in a magical world where price is no object, i dont have the luxury of being choosy about where my clothes come from, that i dont get to have a wide selection of clothes because the powers that be running the clothing lines have deemed my body Too Big to be worthy of flattering or fun outifts, that i have to get whatever fits me from whoever sells it, that fat women are only accommodated if they're curvy in the Right Way, that tall women must be supermodel-thin?

how do i tell her that no, i don't know all the labels, because when i was growing up the clothes i wore were often whatever bland stuff i got at christmas, or dumb edgy hot topic graphic tees and jnco jeans and tripp pants, or polos and cargo shorts, or mechanic coveralls? that if i'd ever shown any interest in fashion, the boys at school would have beaten my ass, and called me a faggot even more than they already did; hell, maybe my dad would have, too

how do i tell her that where she and my mom and all the other cis women in my life have decades of cultural context and marketing and rebellion against the marketing and cultural discourse and whatever the complete gestalt of GIRLHOOD is and its effect on tastes informing their response to such a question, i just have a gaping thirty-year void of twisted feelings and avoiding things like "my appearance" as much as possible and painful memories and dissociation and trauma and enforced male gender roles and interests that rolled off my mind like a duck's back leaving me a shell of a young adult?

how do i tell her that my sole desire is to tear down the entire edifice of the Fashion Industry and the capitalist system that runs it and the class that benefits from my suffering and my insecurity and my desperation that drives me to buy clothes that fit at a 50% markup if they're available in my size at all, and replace it with a world where clothes just Last and you don't have to keep up with trends and every single person can get comfortable, beautiful clothes tailored to them without having to fork over money to a company that employs slave labor?

how do i tell her that even in asking the question, i'm reminded of the yawning chasm between their upbringings and mine, that i never had a pretty senior portrait or a tacky prom dress or goofy rebelliously short-skirted outfits that i can look back on and shake my head with a smile, that i would need another thirty years of immersion in that world to even have a prayer of answering that, that i'm too busy stressing over whether next month there'll be new laws that kick me off my hrt again, that it's yet another gut-punch of an interaction reminding me that in some people's eyes I'll be forever marked out as a Different Kind of woman?

well, i mean, i say, hugging myself and averting my gaze, i'm so big that finding things in my size is amlost impossible, and honestly the whole experience is so stressful i just don't bother most of the time.

"Ooooh you sohuld start your own clothing line tailored to girls like you! That'd be fun, right?"

[deep-space-elf]

I take it back, i take back what i said about the fact it could be good.... In order for this game to be good, its like New World or Elden Ring all over again. They need another two years golly

I was running it on high/epic graphics with a 3060, and it looked like the LOTR online mmorpg type of crappy graphics. There was a lot of screen tearing, and giant frames literally being out of place an inch to the left from where its supposed to be. I was getting a really good 100fps too which is what makes it weird.

Characters that held on like a staff or something, their hands werent even touching said staff, it was awkwardly floating. Like a 15 year old attempting 3d art design on blender for the first time.

and the character designs... theres no soul. no life. The only way I can explain how soulless they look, is that Sirius Black when a dementor took his soul away - HAD more soul than the Characters

Gameplay itself is super clunky, like Gollum would glitch backwards whenever you stopped walking cause it's not properly animated/smoothed out. I can't even think of an example of how to explain how bad it is.

Anyways.. yeah... its really bad dont get it.. id keep an eye on it for a few months to a year to see if it gets better... Big sad im gonna go mow the lawn now

Yeah, I watched some streams yesterday and... oof. Even people with high-end PCs had trouble with the graphics and the overall performance. :(

As for the characters and their designs, I actually found them interesting at first. It's so different from every visual representation of Middle Earth that I've seen so far. I do enjoy some design choices Daedalic made, but most of them look just weird. A lot of characters look like they're in a beta stage... like the design is there and but the final touch, the polish that makes them look alive is missing. Not to mention that a lot of movements look so stiff. Have you tried changing directions mid-jump? It looks so silly. 👀

I hope Daedalic will patch these things because I really want to play and enjoy this game, but right now... I don't want to spend money on some half-finished product. It's been such a huge problem in the last couple of years, that games have a full release when they're obviously in a beta, maybe even alpha, stage and I don't want to support that.

I'm just so disappointed with Daedalic. I love their games, and I had high hopes for Gollum. :(

[r4ndom45]

"EA" IS A JOKE.

How can you blame us Ea? Are you for real?

You priced a game at 70€ while it is not even playable.

It isnt PC community's fault that you cant do things properly! How can you blame us about our pc's? Are we all supposed to have the same rig and the same amount of money?

Im sorry if i live in portugal and i cant buy a 5000€ Computer just to play the trash you developed (trash in terms of performance, not storyline).

When we buy a Pc is because we want to be able to lower or rise the graphic settings. Some of us build a "cheaper" computer because we are aiming to play games on 1080p on high settings at 60fps. Its not my fault i dont have the money to buy a 4k monitor and a 5000€ computer.

When i built my computer 3 years ago, i spent around 1200€. I bought a "gtx 1660 super" and a "i5 10400f" with 16gb of ram and 1tb of ssd. My pc is pretty good for AAA games on 1080p. Im always able to run the new titles at high settings with 60fps. I am mad because i know survivor could easily be playable at 60 fps with this rig if they'd optimize it properly. It is not that much different from fallen order and i was able to play fallen order at 90 fps on high settings.

About combining high end GPU's with "Lower" ( not actually, ea is just dumb, but ok) performing cpus:

Ea some of us prefer to buy a 200€ cpu with a 500€ gpu because we know it will run the good games at 60fps 1440p high/ultra and it will last for 4/5 years.

Again not everyone is able to buy a 600€ cpu with a 1300€ gpu.

"While there is no single comprehensive solution for Pc" WHAT A JOKE! What you mean is "buy a console instead because we dont give a fuck about the pc community".

EA IS A FRAUD! FIX THE GAME! WE DESERVE BETTER!

[emptyairsims]

Here are my answers: 

🌸 What's your earliest memory of playing the sims? Memories arent my strong suit, lol. Fibro fog is real.. But I have foggy memories of playing with a friend in elementary school on their computer.

💫 How did you discover the sims franchise? Again, I dont really remember.

🍇 What was your first sims game? The first one I owned myself. I think it was sims 2.

🍦 How long have you been playing the sims? Probably since it came out but I really wasnt a hardcore fan until sims 2.

🧋 What is your favorite sims series? (sims 3, 2 etc.) Lame answer I know but sims 4! I dont remember the original very well. Sims 2 was amazing but my old copy doesnt play anymore on my current pc. I hate sims 3 (yeah yeah I know). Sims 4 has great graphics and the mod potential is amazing, whats not to love?

🤍 Do you have a favorite sim created by you? Yes! To be honest it kind of flip flops between two sims though. For a while its Christopher then it goes back to Reynard (dont ask).

🧸 Favorite townie? (any sims game) Dont have one.

🍨 Do you have a sim self? If yes, do you play with them? I do. I was late to game on creating one though, just recently decided to jump on that band wagon. Yes, I do play with them.

🫐 How often do you play the sims? Every day. Often twice a day.

🌱 Do/Can you relate to any of your sims? I mean - yes and no. I see myself in some of the things I do in game because its an outlet for every day stress and anxiety - its my escape. But I play with a ton of occult sims so theres a lot of fantasy stuff going on in my game so also no.

🐬 Favorite sims challenge? I have actually never done a challenge. I have considered starting rags to riches but I just made my sim a hoe with perversions and it was to easy, lol. I dont follow challenge rules well (as you can see by the hoe thing) so challenges arent my thing.

👜 What in-game career would you choose if you were a sim? Does just entering the money cheat and then doing whatever I want count?

🌷 Which traits would you have if you were a sim? Are we talking like what traits Id want or what traits Id have based on what Im really like? Cause those are two different answers!!

🍮 Favorite thing to do in the sims? (Could literally be anything!) I spend a lot of time growing my families, seeing how big and far those bloodlines can go! I also like to cause choas and havoc depending on my mood. My game is full of drama and craziness.

❄️ Favorite in-game season if you own The Sims 4 Seasons? I disabled all of the stuff I can. Blizzards, thunderstorms, weather affects - disabled. We all know sims wont stay out of the damn pools in cold weather...

❣️ Do you talk about the sims with any of your friends/family members in real life? Yeah

✉️ How big is your mods folder? Right now... 72 gb but Im about to add  new stuff

☘️ Do you have any other social media where you post sims related content? I will post big mod updates - important bug information - and share my sim photos on my personal facebook page (if that counts). Im also one of the group mods in a facebook group for sims 4 pc players.

[hekkoto]

BIG life update + ANNOUNCEMENTS!!!

Hi my little darklings <3

Here I come with this big life update and some announcements!

So first - Im feeling way better and I can say I will be truly active and post a lot <3 Im so excited!

Important thing - I drew those Patreon prints I owed some people: I will send mail in March and it will have prints for November, December, January and February [+ for March if you will still be my Patron]. Im sorry it took me eternity to catch up on those but finally I can send you those <3 Im super super grateful for your support and understanding that my health was killing me

Print for February will be sent to everyone who are my Patron before 10th of March! Plus then you also will get March one ;p

I gonna focus a lot on my YT this year, I wanna post there artistic stuff but also life vlogs and some gaming. And I will be posting speedpaints where I talk in background ;p My goal is to post 3 videos per week at some point. I also hope to maybe do weekly livestreams?

My other focus will be my Patreon, I wanna go back to posting all planned stuff :> I might do little changes to Patreon tiers but I will let you know!

Oh, about that Gorenuary challenge... Yes, I failed it ;p But I gonna draw arts for every prompt anyway ^^ Hopefully I will finish it to the end of a year hahah >XD

I have idea for some bigger projects for this year, like I wanna start making new game and work on some horror ARG :> I wanna also come back to working a lot on my universe Terroether ^^ Hopefully I will make big progress in designing/redesigning my ocs! I also hope to come back to making lil animations and animatics :>

My health still isnt perfect, also some of illnesses will be present for a rest of my life. I decided to live my life with accepting this as I cant do anything about this. So there will be days I wont do anything. My meds and doctors are super expensive, thankfully right now my parents support us a lot financially. If you wanna donate to help me go through it here is my fundraiser: https://pomagam.pl/nhg96m I will be updating it when it comes to my health

Also, great news - my parents said I dont owe them money I borrowed to upgrade my graphic card. They gave my brother money for car so Im not in debt ;p daaaaaaaaaaaamn, Im so happy about this!

Im again happy and full of motivation; I was able to escape depressive episodes [hopefully they wont be back too often {cause of borderline}] and I found joy in creating again. Im not terrified anymore if Im not good enough or what others think about me. So I hope I will be able to draw and post again regularly :>

Okay, I guess thats all for now :> I missed you a lot guys and I hope to be truly back for real this time :>

[juni-ravenhall]

yeah, but when anyone criticises the same type of stuff about sse, ppl on here who criticise or make fun of astride dont react the same way. if u say those things about sso its too harsh, if its astride - which are still in the early stages of development for reasonable reasons - then its seen as fine and good vibes. (i dont mind ppl comparing to rivershine, but the fact is that each dev is different. astride team are still ok to be early in the dev process at this timeframe, regardless of how fast rivershine dev works alone. rivershine is also way more efficient than sse and worth its cost than sso in some ways, but again, criticism of sse is seen as worse than criticism of any other horse game / devs.)

sse have broken many promises, theyve suggested things that then never happened (they are getting a lot better the past 1-2 years but thats been a LONG ass wait, they had lots of time to change but didnt for years, and the game was still expensive)

they chose to use a bad spaghetti engine to make their mmo and dont seem to have had many programmers or game designers hired who actually can work with the engine properly - by which i mean, they constantly resorted to very simple mechanics to avoid having to make complex new changes to the code, and updates are frequently very buggy compared to other games partially bc of this

- and partially bc they are unable to properly test and QA their game, most likely due to bad management, which is also worth criticising in its own point

they released way more cosmetic stuff (similar to astride) than actual meaningful gameplay/storyline updates for a long time, and again only starting to change recently

the quality of sso wouldnt be considered worth its cost to most ppl outside the sso bubble, until *maybe* now recently with the new features, improved graphics, storyline actually going somewhere, etc. to pay that much for all those crappy fetch quests and very basic game mechanics and long-term unfixed bugs is weird compared to what actual fun gameplay you can get for the same money - and the only reason they get away with that is bc they didnt have competition (there werent any other more fun horse games). a lot of ppl wouldnt have paid for this if they had other choices to get the right horse game fix.

sse still seems to be lacking in direction and understanding of good game design, priorities, etc to some degree even despite all the improvements we've seen in the past 1-2 years. (but maybe most of all, even when they do improvements its hard for them to not be able to properly test and QA with the structure they chose to have, plus delivering on time with the schedule they chose to have)

my point here is that sse has done so much stuff worth criticising and many of the things are even similar to astride's or the anime horse game's problems. after i paid for lifetime, immediately sse went and broke promises and lacked in meaningful updates, so what i paid for *for years* wasnt really what i was expecting to get for my money.

but if we talk about that, a lot of the time theres backlash on ssoblr (or from defenders elsewhere) and judgmental behaviour towards sharing these criticisms and opinions, and again, it seems way more acceptable to write harsh criticism about small and new games/studios than sso/sse, who had so much time to improve and make the game more objectively worth its costs but they chose not to (until now, bc they are doing that!)

so did astride team do anything actually wrong or is it just more okay to shit on a tiny indie team that havent been developing their game for very long compared to shitting on sso?

(afaik they were clear in the kickstarter that the game would take years to develop and were also clear on social media that the EA release was basically just going to be a horse maker, and if they set the price they feel is necessary [for reasons you dont know since you dont work there] then i dont see how that should be different than saying that sso's costs are valid. aka why complain about sso cost critics while simultaneously calling astride's EA release overpriced)

[awindylife-writes]

The Bar

Relationships: 10th Doctor x reader, Jack Harkness x reader (platonic)

Summary: Jack, the Doctor and you go to a bar. You are drugged and a man tries to take you but the Doctor luckily intervenes in time.

Warnings: attempted sexual assault, but nothing graphic

"C'm on guys, there's this really great bar on the far side of Kristella, the lnky Sky," Jack insisted. "They serve everything you could want to drink, they've got live music and there's a festival coming! It's like Halloween on Earth, but the whole planet does it. They've even got punch!"

You grinned, "Well, l'm in." Why not? You wanted to have the experience with the two best friends you had, and it wasn't just any day you could go to an alien bar.

The Doctor and Jack looked at you in surprise.

"What?" you glanced between them, eyebrows raised.

"I mean it's just..." Jack began, "l never thought you were a bar enthusiast."

"Oh, l'm not," you assured him. "I just don't see why we shouldn't go. I mean, we faced the Shadows of Onn just two days ago and then the whole icky Persistence Incorporated lot like, yesterday. A bar should be a nice change of pace, unless you really don't want to go, Doctor?" Both you and Jack turned to look at him and he rubbed the back of his neck under your gazes.

"Weeeell, if you insist," the Doctor shrugged his shoulders and Jack pumped the air, "Yes!"

"Aright then," you smiled. "Jack, what exactly do we want to wear?"

The TARDIS wardrobe awaited you.

~

So far, so good, you thought to yourself.

You had arrived at the bar and quickly claimed a stand-by table. You were lucky you had gotten it, there wasn't much space left. A band was playing, as Jack had promised, and there were enough people dancing to create a crowd. The music was alien and had some surprising metaphors, but there was a nice rhythm to it and you found yourself nodding along. You apprechiated the volume too, it was quiet enough to talk over it where you were standing.

The before-mentioned punch cost a laughable two Eeti and most took the generous opportunity, you included. Nevermind the Doctor and his "It smells funny" comments. Jack ordered something bright pink and alien at the bar while you scooped the punch into a glass. The Doctor stuck with apple juice.

It didn't take long for Jack to spot a cute guy at a table next to yours. You and the Doctor smiled knowingly when they started flirting across the way. Soon, Jack gave you a questioning look and you laughed. "Go on," you nodded your head towards the neighbouring table.

He smiled in grattitude and hugged you hurriedly. You patted his back.

"Go on, get outta here," the Doctor told Jack, voice warm.

"I want you back before noon, got it?" you levelled Jack's gaze in mock seriousness. He flipped you a salute before walking out, hand in hand with the guy.

The Doctor and you continued your conversation. As he rambled on about the rings of Ahknaten, you rubbed your eyes. Was it just you or was everything getting a little blurry? Maybe your alchohol tolerance was even lower than you had thought.

Then you noticed the Doctor was eyeing Jack's half finished drink, and you could tell he was curious.

"C'm on, Doctor," you grinned at him. "This is exactly the place and the time to try something like this."

He gave you a questioning look, and you nudged him with your elbow. "I dare you."

"Weeell, you see, now l just can't refuse. My honor absolutely cannot take a hit like this," he shook his head in mock offence, a smile playing at his lips. He carefully held the glass and took a tentative sip. His eyes widened in surprise.

"Ooh, is it any good?" You had to make an effort to sound chirpy. Maybe all the running was finally catching up to you, because you felt like you were about to nod off.

The Doctor cocked his head. "Actually, it's sweet. I didn't even consider alcohol could be sweet, didn't even think. Who made alcohol sweet? Brilliant invention I mean, if my taste buds have anything to say about it. It's not gonna have an effect on me, me being a Time Lord and all that, but l've never bothered with stuff like this, it didn't seem nearly as interesting as a new world behind the TARDIS door, but now that l consider it-"

"You're gonna go order another one?" You gently interjected his rambling.

"Mhm, yeah, l'll definitely order another one," he answered with a grin.

"Good for you. Oh, and you could go pay as well?" you suggested. You didn't think you would be ordering anything else, not with your head as fuzzy as it was.

He took the money out of his pocket (you had reminded him to get some before you'd arrived, it wasn't exactly like you, a human from Earth, had Kristellan currency on hand). "I'll be right back," he promised you and headed for the bar.

You didn't mind standing there at the table on your own, but it was a little akward. You felt like a sore thumb, standing out from the mixture of creatures around you. You watched the people at the edge of the dance floor, their shapes and colours blurring. Was that supposed to happen? You couldn't seem to take enough air in, though you tried to breathe deeply. The mist in your mind spread, and bit by bit it got harder to think. You stared vacantly at the moving shapes, trying to remember where the Doctor had gone. Why were your legs so weak?

Then there was someone at your side, holding your hand and asking you something. Something about dancing? You nodded, unsure what he wanted, and he grinned. Then he pulled you from the table, and that wasn't right. You were in the middle of the crowd now, and the green tinted man had his arms around you. What was happening?

~

The Doctor found himself staring at the punch bowl while he waited for his drink. There was something about it, something niggling at the back of his brain.

Then the air moved, and he could smell the scent of it again. But what was that, that tinge, something barely there, something like an acid? Something hydroxy... something with butan... hydroxybutan....

Y-hydroxibutanoic acid. The Doctor felt his blood run cold.

He whipped around and grabbed the unsuspecting barista by her wrist. "Listen to me, right now," he growled and her golden eyes widened. "That punch bowl is spiked, and everyone here could be in danger. Do something about it."

She nodded in horror so he knew she understood the urgency and turned to her colleague, her voice grave. He left all his money on the counter without a thought, he needed to find y/n.

~

When he arrived back at your table, you were gone. He looked around in panic. You had drunk the punch at least twenty minutes ago, which was definitely enough time for the drug to kick in. If anyone tried-

Then he finally found you. His hearts sped up. A man with his hand around you was pulling you through the crowd, towards the door. The Doctor saw your wobbling, unsteady steps, saw you still try to get the man's hands off of you.

White-hot fury exploded in his chest, it burned everything away. His hands tightened into fists at his sides and trembled with his rage. Blood rushed in his ears as he gritted his teeth into a snarl. This was it, this was what Daleks were afraid of. He ripped through the crowd withought a thought to anyone.

Upon reaching you, he pushed the two of you apart. The creep stumbled to the side but at once, the Doctor gently took you by the shoulders to hold you up. Yes, there was fury in him enough to scorch planets, but this was you.

Your eyes foggy, you tensed in his arms and shakily tried to break free, but he soothed you with a soft voice. "Hey, hey, it's me, it's the Doctor." You immediately stopped fighting.

"Doct'r," you slurred and fell into his chest, eyes half closed.

"What the hell, man?" the creep demanded.

The Doctor pressed you against his side and turned so he was holding you up the furthest you could be from the man who had tried to- No. He couldn't even think about it.

"Hey! Dont cockblo-" the turd came at the two of you but the Doctor grabbed his lapel and pulled him close. The creep's eyes went wide as he tried to break free.

It was easy, so incredibly easy to hold him in place. The Time Lord rarely used his full strength, always relayed on his mind, because he'd seen what war meant. But now the restraints were snapping like paper strings and the beast in him rattled its chains.

"You get one warning, just one. So listen closely," he growled in the turd's face. "Run. Run far and run fast, because if l see you, if l so much as smell you in the wind, l will find you, and l will teach you the meaning of hell." He suddenly released the creep who stubled from the force of it and scurried away, into the crowd.

The Doctor looked down at you and all rage evaporated. Your head was resting on his shoulder and you were leaning into him to stay upright. Your eyes were closed. He gripped you a little tighter and cooed, "Hey there. Let's get you home, aright?"

You hummed, only half-coherent at best, and nuzzled into him. Butterflies immediately filled his stomack, but this was not the time for that. He tried to take a step, but it soon became apparent that you couldn't walk.

The Doctor carefully lifted you into his arms and headed for the TARDIS.

~

When you two finally reached your room, he gently sat you on the bed where you wobbled a little but stayed upright. He kneeled down and unlaced your shoes. When they were off, he thought you would want him to leave, but then he felt your warm hand clumsily catch his.

"Stay," you mumbled and he looked up into your hazy eyes.

He felt his hearts beat faster at the soft look you gave him. He wanted to find that man and rip him apart, he wanted to give you the universe, wanted to wrap himself around you and never leave.

He could never refuse you.

"Alright," he whispered. He slowly stood up and pulled back the covers so you could get into the bed, then he took off his jacket and his shoes.

When he clambered in, he planned on staying away from you, but you found him and pressed yourself against him. You lay your head on his chest as your hands hugged his sides. When you nuzzled your cheek into his shirt and sighed in content, he felt something soft and warm spread through him. Of course he'd known you trusted him, but this- You were helpless, utterly helpless, and you trusted him to hold you. A thousand stars glowed in his chest as he put his arms around you.

A voice in his head told him he maybe shouldn't be enjoying this, considering the cause that had led you two here, but it was small and distant and not impossible to ignore. You were safe.

He nuzzled his cheek into your hair and fell asleep with you in his arms.