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SCREAMS AND SHOUTS AS YOU INVADE MY HOME
Hello @ User Pastelaspirations ( I don’t know what you like to be called you should totally tell me Mayhaps ) !!! PLEASE DONT LEAVE AFTER I INFODUMP , YOU ARE A VALUED GUEST !!!!!
PLEASE TELL ME WHEN YOU INFODUMP ABOUT YOUR SILLY , TAG ME !!! DM ME !! ANYTHING !! I WANT TO SEE YOUR LITTLE GUY !!! OUR LITTLE GUYS COULD BE FRIENDS ,, I’d draw that tbh
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All of the art is rather old ,, but I RENAMED THIS GUY SO MANY TIMES . He was just Angel sans at one point ! Then Seraphina Sans (different than Seraphim) and then he was Cherubim sans , dubbed Cheri , but I never liked that ?? So now I’m stuck on what to call this thing !!
Right now I’ll just call him Angel because ,, simple , easy .. she uses both He / him and She / her because . ME .
So … I don’t have a solid backstory for this fuckhead ,, I put her in so so many different trials and stuff - but !! I think I got the vague idea down ?? And if I don’t , who’s gonna stop me from changing it !! MWAHHAHAHA !
SO . BACKSTORY ?? Ish . GO !!
Angel is a specific timeline’s version of Reverencetale’s sans , ( Reverencetale is an au I made that’s a traditional and psychological horror parallel to Undertale , NOT AT ALL SIMILAR TO HORRORTALE , but it’s similar in some aspects , like the human child you play as isn’t frisk , and story differences and changes . I might ramble about Reverencetale one day , it’s very deeply personal to me though and I’m frightened by how people might react to it ?? Especially with the human child , because ableism is inescapable no matter what fandom your in .. ) ANYWYAS SO .
For context ; In Reverencetale , religion plays a massive part in the story , specifically a very radicalized and dangerous form of it that implies that monsters are sworn to become evil , and that locking them underground — closer to hell than heaven — has sealed their fate to never cross heaven’s gates . The monsters , as well as the humans in this world , are extremely religious and the monsters are terrorized by the ideas that they will all be eternally damned for the actions that they are ‘bound to commit’ , and in very very simple terms - live their lives as complete saints underground , foretelling of a prophecy that’s bound to come true . That a young human would come down from the heavens and put an end to their eternal damnation as long as they wait and never give into the temptations of sin . The monsters are specifically convinced that the only way they will be allowed into heaven is to die with no faults . That a short life that only demonstrates the best of themselves , even through punishment , would allow them to be free .
SO . with that being said ,, Angel is from a specific timeline in Reverencetale , but things went . Wrong ! And Angel got out of bounds ( went too fast or something , wing speed ) and fell out of the game - Which shattered her perspective on EVERYTHING . I don’t really knnnooww hhhow (??) but he eventually found himself in other parts of the multiverse , and was so confused about everything that people were saying about their own aus - about the kid , about themselves , about monsterkind , humankind , the nature of the world - everything was so different and so so much happier . Which made Angel feel so out of it , so confused , so . Angry . Frustrated . Why was everything so different ?? Why was everything so — beautiful ?
Angel never really was able to imagine a world where monsters could just . Be . Never experienced the joy and beauty of the world in a way that didn’t feel so haunting . He never knew a world where people didn’t live in fear of eternal damnation , that one day they’re feathers , skin , bones , every cell of their monstrous , disgraceful bodies would all be torturously plucked , peeled and grinded down into powder small . . A world where monsters didn’t have to be evil , or die early deaths to be saved . To be worthy of salvation .
And now Angel lives in what has always essentially been paradise in her eyes ! Made a few friends maybe , and is just ! There !!
That’s all I have for backstory IM SORRY :[[
HIS FAVORITE COLOR IS PINK !! He loves it very dearly !! She’s actually a very soft and kind individual , even though she can come off as rather stoic and scary sometimes ,, she’s so so friendly , just nervous ! Not well socialized -
I don’t know if he’d have any specific relations with any characters from Utmv , but I’ve like to add some !! I know he has some sort of relationship with my wife Sira’s Sansona , but that’s about it !!
Probably very weirdly poetic about existence ! She’d place meaning in everything , and I mean . EVERYTHING .
The bows and bells are actually meant to be a little ironic in her au , because . The playable character ( May ) is deaf , and the game tells you that you’ll know when she’s coming when you hear the little bells jingle , even though May can’t actually hear things like that - but the actual reason for her wearing them is silly , she just really likes the sound it makes ! And likes that people associate her with it ,,
OH YEAH , the hemangioma thing ! Okay so , so !
Hemangiomas are a real form of tumor .. a benign vascular tumor ( which essentially is a cluster of blood vessels that just . Exist ! ) it’s very common for people to be born with them , but very uncommon for them to really . remain ! After a certain point , they usually dissipate or rupture , but sometimes they don’t and they just . Stay there !
Angel has one of these , and it’s actually located in the same spot as mine , although her’s is bigger and EVIL . It’s not Malignant in the sense of like . It being a cancer or something damaging to her , but EVIL in the sense it makes him EVIL . A danger to OTHERS .
It initially was joke with my friends I had because I said my blood is evil and that’s why it congregated to the back of my head , its trying to form a secondary EEVVIILL e ( E , the evil twin ) but because I’m silly and I like making all my my characters dubiously evil , dubious little creatures ,, if her hemangioma ruptures , she will be consumed by the EVIL BAD BLOOD within her .
But that’s him !! I hope you liked my little ramble ,,
POINTS AT YOU . I WANT YOU TO RAMBLE ABOUT YOUR GUY EVENTUALLY . KEEPING YOU IN MY HOUSE AS A HOSTAGE UNTIL YOU DO !!! SHAKES YOU !!
I can and will draw them together , being pals , friends Mayhaps , perchance ,,,
Did I ever show you guys my Sansona ,, kind of ??
I forget that I ever have one of these , I don’t ever use him - I tried to put him in an au once and it didn’t work out
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⚠️ WARNING . Blood and . Hemangiomas ? Blood tumors . There’s an evil blood tumor under the cut !! You’ve been warned !!
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#You can’t just SAY perchance !! /ref#Angelpointe Art#e whispers#undertale fandom#angel sans#sansona#Utmv#IM STARING AT YOU .#CRAZY TOGETHER YOU SAY ..#CRAZY TOGETHER YOU MEAN .#Holding you captive whilst losing my mind because this rant has made me slowly actually LIKE this fuckhead ??#how did you do that#undertale#angelic sans#skeletonsona#I will go batshit crazy right now#I swear
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Today for @taznovembercelebration the card I pulled was "ignore." And because I feel very strongly about a particular topic, it was the first thing I thought of.
I present to you, All I Wanted was the Biomass
From TAZ Ethersea. Doesn't contain any major spoilers.
So i may have made this audio edit a few months ago because I clipped all the bits where they talked about it and thought it would be funny but it ended up being extremely cathartic. And then the rest i did today bc it was for the bit.
#sierra speaks#taz ethersea#the adventure zone ethersea#biomass swarm#tw biomass swarm mention#<- this is a joke i think#there is a select corner of ppl who feel very strongly about it#what could have been...#my art#animatics#edits#i dont even know what other things to tag this#kodira
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NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???
#personal#i am emotional yes#over the years ive had this blog I've made a few posts abt being femme#nd whether they're serious or jokey..... inevitably someone in the tags goes “ohhh yeah bc pink”#or in the case of what inspired this post: someone going “what about the pink ones” on my praying mantis post#and im just.#sick of it. im sick of femme being equated to pink and frilly girlie behaviors.#im sick of femme being equated to skirts and heels. to makeup. to skincare. to pristine nails exactly almond shaped.#im sick of ppl acting like All femmes aspire to this shit. im sick of femms being reduced to this shit.#and i love pink! i love pink! my phone theme is quite literally just black and pink all over.#im just. so tired of any expression of Femme identity being shoehorned into being a Specific type of femininity#especially as someone who DOES get dysphoric wearing skirts. wearing dresses. embodying the femme aesthetic yall are so set on making#if u guys wanna rb this i truly dont care#i just needed to scream#and this is one small thing#but the 2nd largest category of anon hate i have gotten since making this blog is str8 up homophobia from other “queer” folks#saying i cant be femme bc of how i present. calling me slurs (and using them as such) bc they cant understand femme as anything but that#my wife and i have our users in our personal discord server set as 2 different things of anon hate ive gotten#i have had OTHER FEMMES tell me i am not femme. femmes who Know im femme who still call me butch. femmes who ive corrected and been blocked#-by bc of it. the number 1 largest demographic of queerfolk who have me blocked rn is TME femmes who embody pink also#and i dont think its a coincidence at all. (and i know this bc i go to try and follow these ppl bc they get rbed on my dash & i cant)#and ik their blogs arent deleted bc some of them don't block my wife (tall. white. butch) and it cant be politics cause her and i rb#a lot of the same political shit (fuck. i think she rbs More than i do even. this is genuinely mainly a nsft blog)#and usually i don't say anything but im having a bad day so i get to be angry about this and if anyone fucking tries me i will block u#idc if we've been mutuals 4ever. im judt so tired of feeling like i am not Enough as a femme bc i dont embody this shit#im sick of this lameass lip service to he/him gnc femmes etc when the thin white 50s housewife femme is still what is preferred and loved#im sick of this lamesss lip service when y'all feel entitled to theorizing on other femmes genders bc u cant conceptualize a femme who does#wanna be hypetfeminine. im sick of it. im sick of it. im sick of it.#celebrity bun
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Look I´m a full believer that you should ship what you want and not harass others for their ships BUT
Lately on the Sauron/Mairon tag I´ve seen some people say he wouldn´t be interested in men!??!? Like I´m sorry to break it to you but he literally saw the most beautiful woman to ever exist and instead of thinking about his own desires he instantly thought "my boss would be so proud of me if I gave her to him."
WHAT´S NOT GAY ABOUT THAT CREATURE!?!??!?
Also on a smaller note the few posts that say Sauron could NEVER be gay are literally calling people weird for shipping him with men?? So, could we please just go back to shipping the mass murder with who we want to and stop bothering others with who they ship him with?? No?
So ship who you want and have fun, talk with those who ship the same and all that, but don´t go in and accuse others for having the wrong ship :)
EDIT: just to make sure everyone understands I DON´T IN ANY WAY SUPPORT PEOPLE WHO POLICE SHIPS OR SHAME PEOPLE FOR THEIR SHIP OR ACCUSING THEM OF NOT FOLLOWING CANON ETC ship who you want and don´t bother people who have another ship and try to "teach" them about your ship if they don´t ask for it.
#go enjoy the show for all i care but pleeeaaassseee dont act as if its canon#and you know it would be better if it was only tagged the show but over half of those posts where tagged as silm#and that is very very confusing to me as it wasnt relevant to the books only the show#tolkien#silmarillion#sauron#mairon#angbang#because that was what the whole luthien thing was about 🙃#to make melkor happy right?#lotr#thats what i love with tolkiens books#a lot of the ships are up to you and how you read the characters#but even if you dont read them as a ship that doesnt take their queerness or friendship away :)#also the ship people are pushing on him makes no sense in the books??#like it clearly does in the show and those who like it should enjoy it#but its just so double moral of them to tell others usually book readers that their ship based on canon is wrong#on that note i would like to say i love shipping people in books who have never meet
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so we all know the main characters of course... but these two I really like in the books- for very different reasons
#yall their tags dont even pop up omg this is so sad#theres like hardly ANY art of these ones cuz they are side characters i know but MAN#BR gets a good amount of descriptors- travis not so much so i was winging him off vibes alone#jack like only mentions travis has nicotine stained teeth and is the same age as him so thats what i got other than vibes#BR got quite a few from vol 1-3 so i think i nailed him#god ok both things in here have weed- what is with this town and drugs man- ok i know its a small town- i get it- but its very funny#anyone from a small town in the south? can you validate this?#tales from the gas station#tales from the gas station art#tftgs#tftgs art#tftgs fanart#tftgs BR#tftgs brother riley#tftgs travis#art#artwork#character concepts#illustration#this aint gettin notes its none of the main characters lol#ok ill tag jack cuz hes in the corner#tftgs jack#brother riley#travis guidry#jack townsend
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#ffxiv#emet selch#hythlodaeus#hythades#yeehaw t4t lovin hours#they’d be taking turns with the strap#look i love bottom emets but i feel hythlodaeus is indulgent enough for the both of them to give AND receive#hyth just needs to goad him a little and he sheds his old man tsundere demeanour for his secret loverboy side#amaurot’s worst kept secret and it’s these two everyone knows they’re fucking u dont even need to look twice#look i didn’t even need to look twice either once i landed in elpis i just looked at these two and went#‘wow emet all those years without ur beautiful purple boytoy really made you miserable’#+ of course immeasurable son boy disappointment singlefather copefestisms to last eons (nikolaos)#legitimately emet looked happy asf in elpis like what is that man feeding him#standing together in each others’ proximity all homosexual like#he loves to get bullied despite his protesting hythlodaeus is his favourite annoying menace#only natural he’d let him tease him in bed it’s what i got in my brain#emet unclenches his grouchy ass only in front of hythlodaeus let him pamper u king#hythlodaeus knows how to treat his babygirl right#he’s da kind of man to spoil you and want to be spoiled in turn like a tag in tag out thing#leave it to hythlodaeus to switch things up and keep it interesting
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I have way too many alts that I keep to myself (which is why I generally refrain from posting them), but I'm going to ignore that habit for a moment just because I'm feeling particularly insane about this guy.
#silvis side characters#<--- been a while since i used that tag despite intending it to be for this specific type of char#i basically like to play sandbox with concepts for both screens and writing so they tend to become surprisingly developed#even if i end up not touching them again once im satisfied and have gained the outlet i wanted#... this guy and another connected to him has been unusually persistent however. surprisingly so. LOL#maybe i should post them more``??? but for some reason that feels weird cause what if i just dont use them again!!#idk why i feel like im setting up expectations i need to hold. literally no one is putting pressure on me to do anything its ALL in my brai#i mean its a bit because i know i got too much and thats overwhelming and therefore its not like i expect anyone to keep track of them LOL#im regretfully cursed with too much inspiration for too many things at all times and i will make it everyone elses problem just for a bit#anyway the reason i dont intend to make this one a more major oc for use with other people (for the time being at least)#is because he's so HEAVILY tied to another side character of mine in a way where im not sure they can be separated from each other.#actually you can see him now i realize its the viera in the first shot lmao!#i forgot to mention his name is yuzuru and thats about as much as ill inflict on anyone right now <333#i promise you i dont JUST have male midlanders as unbelievable as that might sound. anyway-#ffxiv#final fantasy xiv#hyur#midlander#ffxiv screenshot#gpose#gposers#ff14#final fantasy 14#nabaath-areng
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"shipping saiki is aphobic because he's aroace!"
stares at you with my demiromantic asexual in a committed relationship eyes then looks at the camera like im in the office
#good thing those folks have yet to find their way into my inbox or id be at risk of embarrassing myself lol#if you wanna see more of the content you prefer...make it yourself :3 MAKE IT YOUR FUCKING SELF lol#youre so attached to the idea youll complain about it but you refuse to do anything about it even create works that you and others will sur#ly enjoy how does this even make sense#sorry for reviving this from the dead when it blessfully hasnt been a thing in the tag for a hot moment but im still irritated hahahah#seriously you know what that screams to me? virtue signalling. you wont do anything except say a few words every now and again like#the motivation starts and ends at appealing to the popular opinion. earn your brownie points. and do nothing.#what is your care made of? thoughts and prayers?#every time ive asked one of these people why they dont make the content themselves the response has been 'i shouldnt have to lol'#you shouldnt have to bully people either with your aphobic BS but look at you! aw~#yall dont wanna commit to shit you just want to tell other people how they should exist.#if you cant create for whatever reason you better be ready and willing to drop your rec list and fave artists. and i sure as shit hope your#complimenting them thoroughly.
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Positively mind-blowing!! ❤️🔥🤯❤️🔥
[[💜❤️🔥Click for higher quality! Tag list as well as the initial sketch will be under the cut. All reblogs are seen and appreciated!! ❤️🔥💜]]
@absentmoon @ava-ships @bee-ships @beetleboyfriend @berryshipbasket @canongf @cloudyvoid @derelictdumbass @dissonantyote @edencantstopfallininlove @final-catboy @flabbergasting @gible-love-nibles @flowering-darkness @hirayarts @hoppinkiss @hotrodharts @hyperionshipping @iwishihadfangs @iyamifucker @judetama-moved @lex-n-weegie @lficanthaveloveiwantpower @little-miss-selfships @little-shiny-sharpies @loogi-selfships @mandrakebrew @mintpecks @mothfinite @mrs-kelly @nameless-self-ships @nerdstreak @orbitingaroundyourlove @paper-carnation @p-i-t-s @qilinkisser @reds-self-ships @rexscanonwife @rotten--cotton @spacestationstorybook @squips-ship @ship-trek @toogayforthistoday @winterworlds
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#tbh i like the sketch and lined version equally so you get both!! :3#i dont know if im 100% happy with the final result BUT. this is the first time ive lined something in this way#i mean like playing with line thickness like this. and even if its not exactly what i wanted i am still proud of myself!#i know future endeavors will be even better! :3#ok last thing and then the organizing tags but i looooove the idea of his fur bristling up when he's flustered 🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖#there's no other way i coulda drawn that any other way!!! its so cuuuuute 🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖#anyway enjoy teehee! >w< every new art piece i make i teach myself more about lining!! so exciting! 💖💖💖💖💖💖#my art#💜: loving you's a felony#🍒🧬: emotional processing lag#self shipping#oc x canon#self ship community#self ship#fictional other#mojo jojo
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On the string propaganda
Heeellll yeah
Bestie is an entire PLACE
I look at those guys and let me tell you the soul of that thing ain't just in the puppet, it's in all the neurons carrying the thoughts and emotions, it's in the power rails that serve as the heart. All the memories in the memory conflux and all the numbers we see flicker across displays, the flux condensers, the puppet; a little avatar.
No way these massive machines see life the same way we do. They have their own experiences and senses and things they hold dear. A world we can't imagine, a way of living we couldn't even comprehend.
I could never tear an iterator apart to be just a puppet. Who am I to decide how's life supposed to be enjoyed or perceived?
You treat your creechurs however you want- I ain't gonna dictate that. But damn, hearing the thrums and buzzes of the linear systems rail? They are alive with so much power, these mechanical beasts are exactly what they should be.
#sorry im just a really passionate on the string believer#you cant tell me that these massive structures kilometers wide capable of things we cant even image would look at something thats#thats comparable to a speck of dust and be like#yes i would like to rid myself of practically my entire body to be that tiny#this aint no “if i were a supercomputer i'd be sad i couldnt see the sky like i do now”#thats only because you have something to compare it to#if i were to suddenly loose everything to be just some microscopic creature i'd be miserable but only because i know what im loosing#id be loosing the ability to think like i do now id be loosing the ability to enjoy the things i do now#i dont know what life is like as a microscopic creature but i wouldnt be willing to give up my life as i know it now#and i think with iterators are the same#just how different is their life from ours and what things can they see that we are missing out on?#give up everything comfortable and known and for what??#to feel the sun? they absolutely have various temperature sensors#see the sky? those overseers were made to see things those visuals are in 4k#other animal comforts?? what about computer comforts??#what makes a lil creature happy may not necessary make a massive supercomputer happy#sorry big rant in the tags um just wanna say this is no hate to anyone who wants their creatures off the string#these are fictional beings and you do whatever makes you happy take them off the string set them loose yess enjoy little robots running#around be happy i love reading ya alls off the string shenanigans#rain world#iterator#drawins#oc veil of dreams#rw talk#rain world oc#iterator oc
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& by the way i literally CONSTANTLY think about how loop uses the partys titles to create distance to remind themself that those arent 'their versions' of them. that theyre not loops party anymore. and yet and yet and yet
#talk tag#i think about 'and because of you bonnie was-' DAILYYYYYY#god. god. they care s mcuhghfjkbjkdklj#i think that may be the only time until twohats that they ever use any of the partys names. except! for reminding sif if u get that dialogu#which. im also normal about. clearly obviously absolutely#they create that distance as much as they can and yet. for siffrin.#godddddd i need to be sedated#isat spoilers#okay oh my god i went back to check to make sure i was right and turns out i forgor a couple of times both of which make me even more ill#one is technically under the umbrella of twohats bc its at the very end when loop says theyll need to accept everyones thanks. and they say#-everyones names. and the other is at the very very beginning in the initial battle tutorial they say everyones names + stats#(which btw PROVES MY POINT abt so much of loops help going under the radar bc in any other game itd just be a regular tutorial with no-#-in universe correlation or effect)#but they start with 'heres some basic stats about you and your party members to remember' and i. the. like realistically the explanation-#-for loop using their names instead of titles. is bc adrienne thought using their titles would make it too obvious someone else was talking#since u havent met loop yet at that point and dont know its not a regular tutorial thats only directed at the player and not the character#But Also: heres some things you should remember about your party members [lists their names]#im normal. im fine and normal. prommy#... okay it turns out they also say isabeaus name when giving the paper mache hands tutorial. no idea what to make of that one aklfjdlksjf#and after the change god event when u bring it up they say 'mirabelles statue'#And Thats It. fascinating. what is the logic there#isatposting
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wishing that the hype for sonic 3 would just die already because im tired of hearing about it vs knowing that the suffering wouldnt truly be over because theyre talking about making a fourth movie . hell on earth
#sorry i was keeping my haterisms to myself for a while there but im still a hater regardless#well i havent actually watched it so maybe its not That bad but what im hearing about it certainly doesnt make it seem good either ........#i liked the first two movies but i simply do not trust these writers to adapt the characters and stories i love anymore#anyway i would say i wish we could just move on to the next sonic thing and forget about the movies#but i also know that no new sonic media release could ever overshadow a new movie#which is also annoying the fact that the movies get so much more attention than other sonic media frustrates me for many reasons#and like. i try to curate my online experience or whatever people call it i blakclisted most tags related to the movie#but it still feels like its everywhere even then both online and offline#help i just remembered that i got a big spike in followers immediately after the movie came out#and i havent really siad anything negative about the movie since then . um. looks around all scared#not that i think i shouldnt be allowed to have a different opinion or am scared of offending anyone#i just know a lot of sonic movie fans get weird about criticism from game fans and i dont feel like dealing with that
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Realized this while playing Birushana. Tomomori. You know.
#birushana#birushana rising flower of genpei#otome#wizardess heart#shall we date#blanking on what other morally controversial otome games ive played#but seriously that trope of “im lowkey obsessed with the heroine and even seeing the hate in her eyes as she looks at me is perfect.”#to “i would love to see what other expressions i could bring her to make-”#ALL the way to the final installment of “oh. when she smiles.. when shes happy.. and looks at me with such happiness?#that is the best expression she has ever made. she looks beautiful like that... everything else pales in comparison- no.#i actually dont care to see her tears or to have her look at me in anger ever again.“#and just. falling in love with her happiness and doing everything they can to make her smile and laugh among other things??#because they feel really good doing it??#sorry i know thats common with villain love interests but im REALLY a sucker for it okay i cant help it#but also no seriously what other games like this have i played again?? i havent played any of the villain routes in hakuouki yet#but i feel like this trope is probably in there so.#hakuouki#JUST THE LOOK OF SURPRISE ON THE LOVE INTEREST'S FACE WHEN THEY SEE THE PROTAG SMILE AT THEM FOR THE FIRST TIME#AFTER ONLY EVER PREVIOUSLY SHOWING FEAR OR HATE#I LOVE IT AAUUUGHHH#oh!! thats right!#steam prison#paradigm paradox#piofiore#BECAUSE YANG I FUVKING LOVE YANG EVEN THOUGH HES AWFUL UGH#even if tempest#ill tag that in here too bc Tyril was that way for a hot second in the beginning of his route/timeline when he was first meeting Anastasia#i definitely know theres more but damn#anyway#we support character development in this house
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i often really do feel like an .. unwanted part of the fandom, i dont draw beautiful landscapes, i have unpopular but strong opinions im constantly annoying about and rarely change, dont like/dont draw the pretty young popular twinks and hot gurls to fanboi over nor do i turn characters into one, the opposite moreso, draw only one ship no ones heard of really, got little energy to interact with the few people that are nice to me and send me asks so it probably looks like im ignoring everyone and unfortunately but still rarely get so stressed i get overwhelmed and emotional about pehaps seemingly minor things and spiral almost into a breakdown feeling super embarrassed about it afterwards but the damage is already done and i look like a freak or agressive weirdo
#ganondoodles talks#also probably sounds like self pity#but this feeling hits everytime i see a super popular artist be the popular cool artist#i am a little weird i know that and thats not somethign bad i think#but the internet never gets to see that much of me#i tend to write posts when i am at my worst bc it has to go somewhere#so the image it tells people is that im a weirdly strong opiniod freak that gets breakdowns over nothing#i also dont feel like im otherwise -cool tm- enough to balance that out#i dont think my art is as stylized or as inventive as others nor am i cool to interact with bc idk how to be cool to interact with#i feel double bad when i misstepped with someone i used to talk to bc of something stupid ... or just dont know what i did wrong#im guessing its especially when i am in that spiraling state of mind where i really am not myself tbh#it still feels very bad bc i feel like i can never make it up to anyone again#sorry i acted like a jerk my brain was exploding in emotions in a desperate attempt to deal with something idk how to deal with-#-and made me not act like myself but now i feel really dumb about it#doesnt sound like a good excuse#... i want to thank those that do stick with me#even if i acted strange sometimes- even if i disappointed sometimes- even when i couldnt keep a promise#there are little things that still make me angry at myself#like that one time i asked in the tags whod read as long as the end of them and if someone did shoudl send me an ask so id draw a lil thing#and i got two#and i kept trying to remeber oh shit i need to do that and forgetting again/not having energy for it in a loop#i still feel like a jerk about it but now its probably too late#i wish i could answer all asks i get but man my energy for that is always rock bottom#no matter how much i enjoy the ask#and i love getting asks!!!#im sorry :((
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this nemesis ambition started out a little slow but I am getting closer to finding that bastard who killed my wife, and I’ll not rest a minute now that im far closer to on his trail
sorry got in character for a second
Anyways fun ambition so far very fucked up though
congratulations on joining the murder club anon!!!! depending on who you ask the name refers to either people who have murdered or people who have witnessed murder. usually both. actually extremely often both. it's a swell time you'll feel right at home (don't mind our collective skyglass knife collection in the back)
#im still not far into nemesis personally but im very much enjoying it#honestly in a weird way it feels like it's moving faster than HD did. which. is funny bc nemesis is like The gated behind item grinds quest#idk. HD was a fun slowburn where we adventured around gathering our rogues gallery before the action kicked in#nemesis on the other hand feels like im picking up halfway through a batman serial#fallen london#ask#it's WAY more fucked up right off the bat than HD was. honestly ive thought abt red honey for ages. that's so fucked up#and we LEAD with that?? Okay#definitely a horrors-filled ambition befitting caeru (the guy who's constantly going through horrors)#it really encourages you to get fucked up and freaky and in ur character's headspace at basically every step along the way#i only have HD to compare it too but HD was like. a lot more interpretative in comparison? at least to me. that's what it felt like#and i adore HD for that dont get me wrong here#HD just also waited until like. halfway through before it asked what the scoundrel actually Wanted out of its heart's desire#nemesis in comparison is right off the bat who died? who are you mourning? anguish. justice. there must be vengeance.#it's a delightfully different vibe!! i like it!!!#oh god sorry anon im doing the classic yin talking way too much in the tags thing again#i havent had much excuse to talk abt nemesis and what i think of it so far and of course its rp effects on caeru#but i do have a handful of thoughts on it#it's good. im liking it so far. it's starting very strong if nothing else. and i have no spoiler knowledge of what happens in the future#beyond the choice between rewards at the very end#and im SO curious how we'll get to that point. what horrors will we adventure through next? off we go to find out!#it's biggest glaring weakness so far is how horrendously grindy it is. and like. ive been warned and done my research ahead of time#im doing it on the same account im seeking. i knew what i was getting into. but also gots damn.#in comparison HD's 5-card lodgings and dreamgate feel like footnotes#anyway while im already way too deep into rambling did you know the honey trip gives you fate?? insane. why does it do that. hilarious even
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why do i love the conflict more than anything else . the misery . the incompatibility that spreads like oil slick . wanting so desperately for resolution that never comes . hmmm
#its the allure of like . mismatch btwn right person / wrong time . maybe in personal development and such#or wrong person / right time and trying 2 make it work but the circumstances are set 2 separate you#i think the guilt ford harbors over his relationship w fidds is good and i think hes had a lot of reflection . 30 yrs at least#but i dont rly care for like a . HELPP SRY IM LIKE talking to myself#i dont rly care ‘if’ they got back tgether in the end#fanon wise or whagever obviouslyy . no avrually emma-may kicking fidds out over the xmas thing its over HELPPPP#i feel like i always hve to clarify bc then theres that one guy whos like ‘smth smth you cant read . ooc loser .’idgaf . not gaffing today#i think mcguckets decision to forgive him is rly sweet And i do like the recognition of .. the whole incident being a misstep on both their#parts ykwim ? like ford was an ass for sureee but also mcgucket + memory gun was his own autonomous detriment#but#no i cant read the other tags i was writing i forgot where i was at#anyways im so obsessed w like . this being such an imperfect event with imperfect equals#ford theory and fidds the mechanics . which brw im also obsessed w how That is revered in canon .#but yeah like imperfect event imperfect people who shared an incredible connecfion in my freaking mind#that was ultimately squandered to fords pride and fidds reticence#ugh like i love the rise and fall i love the strenght of their connection generally corroding over time#its just such a cool motivator for both themselves and like its a history they share together and post weirdmageddon get to finally think a#knowing now what they didnt have the tools to recognize then#idk.^__^ they r so crazy to me . playing w them like dolls in my head#fiddleford mcgucket#stanford pines#gravity falls#every time i think ab this wrt every challeneged dynamic i think ab mars in the discord#talking ab x and y charas epic divorce arc#and im not even saying this to discredit Good relationships in media#bc those have a wealth of fun and interesting concepts or dynamics to dive into#its just something ab like . poetry of anger bro . and how love and hate can feel so similar and be borne from the same place#how one can transform into the other and back again due to . idk whatevee the hell theyve got going on^#prev post got me wishing we had more meat to the fallout#or that it was extended in content or scope . i want 2 see how they dealt with losing the other and then
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