#i dont even have an explanation for this
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the narrator wrote little haiku poems and emailed them to everyone while blasting nfr in his office to let em know that ur just a man its just what u do
#i dont even have an explanation for this#i love in the ways they love and i hurt in the ways they hurt#fight club#the narrator#tyler durden#edward norton#will pitt#norman fucking rockwell#lana del rey#edit!#fc!#soapshipping#soapship sinking
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fighting hell right now actually
#i dont even have an explanation for this#ive just been drawing and thinking about this bastard#not even funny anymore hes straight up consumed my mind 😭😭#more power to me i guess#sooshdraws#horrortale#horrortale sans#horrortale sans x reader#sans x oc#oc x canon#undertale AU#im going to be regretting this in the next few weeks#oooh boy
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i have one video i've been wanting to make about a certain splatoon lore topic so badly for some years now and i wanna do it soon. but every time i think about it i can feel myself going insane. there's so much i need to say. how do i structure this in a way that makes sense. does it even make sense at all. to me? god help me
#rassicas speaks#spoilers: yep its the water thing.#stares haggardly at mirror with my hands white knuckle gripping on the sides of the bathroom sink. splashes water in my face#i feel like ive cracked open a fucking conspiracy. ITS ALL CONNECTED ITS ALL FUCKING CONNECTEDDDDD I FEEL INSANE#stares at my corkboard with strings. punches wall#the water weakness is not as stupid and disjointed as everyone thinks and i have to prove it.#the disconnect between the west and JP in terms of acceptance of the water weakness lore is fucking insane#there's a video from a edutainment quiz youtuber in JP. not a splatuber mind you. that talks about osmosis and how it connects to inklings#the canon explanation mind you. this video has a million views!!!#a million fucking views!! its a video for casuals!! everyone knows inklings canonically die in water and the reason is related to osmosis!!#meanwhile if you bring up the concept of inklings dying in water on the western side with hopes to theorize according to canon lore#and i will. present the dev interview that outright confirms the reason is related to osmosis.#u know what happens. um actually they only die in fresh water! um no they dont die in water they just cant swim! DO U KNOW HOW INSANE I FEE#jp side has been speculating on how the osmosis thing actually works on inkling biology for years#and the english side cant even get over the hurdle that the water weakness is like. real undeniable canon#like i get that info is less accessible here. as i will prove. in my video eventually.#but holy fuck it makes me crazyyyyy when i actually do present stuff and ppl cover their ears anyway. this has happened a lot.
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assigned depressive borderline at birth 😍
get a totally legit diagnosis here <3
#where tf did sadistic come from hello😭😭😭#ik this dumbass test isnt serious#but fun fact i tried 2 get tested for bpd as a teen on two separate occasions but it didnt even come to it cuz the psychologists were like#nah! u dont have the vibes#& i was like ok😁😊🙂😐🙂what the fuck is wrong w me tho#they didnt offer me any alternative explanations. i think. maybe i just dont remember cuz i cried
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something simple to try to get out of art block (it didn't work)
#alek art#ninjago#zane julien#2024#i am very unhappy with this and sooo in order to feel better i am going to talk about him#system zane is very real to me. i always give him six main alters (but i do believe there is more lol)#systems cannot just pick and choose who front depending on the day i am very aware (i am a system) its more on the nose symbolism#the fifth one crossed out is the ice emperor. in canon he exists in zane's mind as an “alter ego” of sorts which is crazy to me#character has canon dissociative episodes... amnesia... and several different “personalities” / identities? sounds familiar idk#i talked a lot about this hc on my long ass zane hc post thanks for the ask btw npderzane#its not an au its just how i see him so just imagine every zane i draw as system zane. ill only specify it in the tags if its system related#that one post thats like. 'being a did system sucks which one of us poured instant coffee in the bathtub!' thats the average zane experience#he wakes up and everyones like “mannn zane you were going crazyyy on prime empire yesterday” and hes like ??? i did not play any video games#and then he looks at the calender and 6 months have passed. semi true story that happened to me#also alters having incredibly different food preferences is funny. zane doesnt eat anything ever vs boone who eats raw meat sometimes#zane having really weird characterization? and its very inconsistent / bad writing uhhh alek explanation is hes a system and nobody can mask#man its 1 pm :|#i hate this drawing so much i dont even want to look at it but it took time so ill post it#i also have another zane drawing in my drafts i should post. from like 2 months ago???
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BRO!!!!! AFTER TRYING TO CANCEL ME?!?! IN BAD FAITH?!?!?!!!!
YA IVE POSTED IT NO U CANT SEE IT ANYMORE CUZ UR MEAN???
#im ngl i saw them talking about me this morning and all day thats actually the explanation for my off the hinge behavior#THEY MADE SO MANY TWEETS ABOUT ME U DONT UNDERSTAND 😭😭😭#AND IM SUPPOSED TO BE NICE I CANT FIND IT IN ME I CANT#YOU LET ME LIVE IN UR HEAD ALL DAY AND ALL THAT TIME SCROLLING THROUGH MY MEDIA TAB FOR NOT EVEN A MINUTE WOULD HAVE YIELDED UR ANSWERS#TELL ME UR AGE BC THIS IS LIKE GEN ALPHA LEVELS OF RESOURCEFULNESS AND IF UR THAT YOUNG U CANT BE HERE#THEYRE 28#LISTEN I LOVE MY OLD FANDOM FRIENDS SO MUCH#NONE OF THEM WOULD BE DOING THIS THO
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I have the smallest crumb of a theory. But what if howdy is mean to Latter because he’s self-conscious of being the only caterpillar (and repressed) and takes it out on his brother as a consequence. Because social expectations at the time gave him an excuse to do so?
no. ok. hoo boy. Allow Me To Be Insane Over The Most Prominent Thought I've Had Since Seeing The Update (about howdy)
i will try to be as eloquent and articulate as possible. ahem:
THAT FRUITY ASS CATERPILLAR IS REPRESSED AS FUCK, ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? DID YOU SEE THAT SHIT?? MY GOD. HOMEBOY HAS ISSUES STACKED ON ISSUES. GET HIM SOME THERAPY.
ok. ok ok ok. Now allow me to be articulate and eloquent
so obviously Howdy is almost certainly queer in the men-loving flavor. if i'm wrong about this my confidence will never recover. But I'm Willing To Take That Chance. so he's definitely queer, right? his.. well his everything points to it, but the final nail in the coffin are his rainbow suspenders from the group Homewarming artwork from Eddie's prolonged breakdown.
but this update i think showed us deeper into that part of him. and i take the shipping goggles off for genuine analysis, so when i say this i believe that there is Serious Evidence and seems Genuinely Plausible - if Howdy doesn't have feelings for Barnaby, i'll eat my cat.
the above is important to say because it Directly ties in to how Howdy treats Latter AND Eddie.
so. Howdy is likely gay or bi, what have you. i'm guessing gay. he obviously has feelings for Barnaby. SO WHAT I'M SAYING IS that i don't think Howdy treats Latter the way he does because of the caterpillar thing, I think Howdy treats Latter the way he does because Latter is genuine and Howdy is not.
what does this have to do with Eddie? well. look at Latter and Eddie in relation to each other. they're both... how do i say... Open. and not - not effeminate, but yes, for lack of of a better word, effeminate. just enough to make one go "huh." and Howdy treats them the same way - dismissive, apathetic, one could even say avoidant.
i wouldn't be shocked if Howdy picked up on their queerness (and if Latter isn't queer, his comfort with himself / his behavior & interests) and is on the defensive about it - likely subconsciously.
and with Latter specifically. Howdy could have also picked up on the way his other family members treat him if they're all also dismissive - as Seeya seems to be as well. i mean, it fits right in line with the time period! homophobia - internalized in Howdy's case (again, most likely). the blatant favoritism, the dismissive nature, it all adds up. even if no one outright knows, that subconscious recognition (or outright suspicion!) will do this
i mean, Latter makes me think of two things. 1) being the only queer kid in a family (especially large). 2) being a middle child. there was a third but i forgor. it felt important! it's gone now! anyway it's also Super telling comparing how Howdy treats Latter (emotional, earnest, open) to how he treats Beeya (oozing stereotypical masculinity)
tl;dr so i don't think it's really "expectations giving Howdy an excuse" as it is "subconscious / internalized homophobia causes Howdy to act the way he does"
as always, take all this with a Hefty grain of salt!
#i really dont think it's conscious behavior! not at the source anyway!#howdy Has to be soooooo so so deep in denial. he's gotta have five layers of repression there's no other explanation#howdy 'ill keep all of my feelings right here and then one day ill die' pillar#homebogging#wh speculation#welcome home speculation#it Would be the funniest outcome#if he really is like. deeply in love with barn but doesn't even realize it himself despite like. how goddamn obvious it is#ALL THE SIGNS POINT TO HIM BEING REPRESSED AND INTERNALIZED TO HIGH HELL AND BACK.#and being a caterpillar is like. symbolic to being open and accepting of yourself#< now im probably reaching However. The Symbolism Is There. intentionally or no#hence why barn is a caterpillar while everyone else is a butterfly#(hiya is on thin ice since her ref shows her as a caterpillar but the hullabaloo record art gives her wings)#latter is true to himself and open / out : butterfly#howdy is so deep in the closet that he's fighting wars for a lion : caterpillar#anyway so howdy. why do latter and eddie make you so defensive howdy#hm. hm. hm.#OH! AND WE HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN HOW HE ACTS AROUND FRANK YET! ohhhh that would be fascinating...#just One direct interaction between them could be So telling
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[reverse entry AU]
so glad the work week is over!
no more meetings!
what do you mean its only tuesday.
#isat#in stars and time#isat siffrin#reverse entry au#isat modern office au#isat spoilers#<- not REALLY but its blink and u miss it tbh#and is hardly legible#and probably doesnt make much sense as a spoiler for regular isat tbf#its more of a spoiler if u know the spoiler from isat to begin with????????#i think i am starting to confuse myself on if this is really a spoiler ASFASDAFRA#inspired by my week so far thumbs up#sometimes u end up in too many meetings about the same subject and wonder why you are even here#proceed to zone out till hear key words#tune in and respond#then continue zoning out#omg just like beloved indie game in stars and timeeeee#for legal reasons that is an exaggerated explanation to further enhance the joke thumbs up part 2#alternative takes that build on this same idea include#staring at computer screen in general trying to remember what you were doing#or silently judging a computer program for freezing on you for the seventh time in the past twenty minutes#or just staring blankly at the screen in general as people do yanno thumbs up part 3#oh also to note yea this is not in the office lmao#modern times means sometimes you also get to have wfh days yippeeee so siffrin is in his apartment#the star is probably sitting in the kitchen next to the flavor tree at this moment in time dont worry about it aha#WAIT i just realized i forgor the shine in siffrins eyes OOPS#actually wait nvm this is fine it adds to this i think HAHAHA#okay tag talk over !!!!
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Hey Spam, not to sound rude or anything, but i think something is stuck in your hair to your left. IDK what it is, but it looks like kinda spiky so please be careful!
#I had this set up since he ate that canned whatever the hell it was and then i got distracted#i am surprised i was mostly consistent with that bit though despite being the no.1 most inconsistent critter in the world#[you've got mail!]#spamton#spamton g spamton#deltarune#deltarune spamton#deltarune chapter 2#i realized i dont have to care so much about minor mistakes because this isnt my damn job its smth for fun#nobody cares they dont care about mistakes#besides loki but loki is an exception we dont count them /j#ily shading with three different colors that doesnt even show up thanks a lot#is that bed head enough?? cant make it too frizzy cause its full of weird shit he uses to keep it black + gel-like so it will#perpetually look greasy (it is) and kinda wet but idk#gotta get his beauty sleep and then do his hair like the king he is (hope he gets guillotined)#i dont have an explanation for why he did that he just did. Cant a guy be a little silly sometimes??? a little plastic snack???
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Got my hands on a Ultra Analysis BNHA book from a library
Some points I liked (I focused more on 1B since they don't get a lot of attention)
1B once had a Tetsutetsu BBQ. They heated him up and cooked food on him. He proceeds to ruin it when he declares his sweat is the salt to their food
Yui is canonically the prettiest first-year
Mineta has no sex appeal at all, but he thinks being a hero will make him lucky
Class B does respect Monoma. He's sharp-minded, witty, and has a way with words
Monoma sometimes wanders into 1A's dorm just to throw down a mean speech, and heads back to 1B
Juzo probably isn't helping Monoma's confrontations with 1A, since he just always asks him why he can't say it to their faces whenever Monoma complains about them
Shiozaki tries to be polite even in a fight
Pony hosts anime parties, so 1B knows a lot about anime. Vice-versa, they teach her Japanese, and everything nasty is Monoma's fault
Tokage was a gyaru
Tsuburuaba, Kaibara, and Kuroiro get worked up whenever they talk about girls
Manga likes Kenranzaki
Awase's family runs a small factory. He also restrains Monoma whenever Kendo isn't available
1B likes hearing Rin say "Aiyah", so he does it for them
Kamakiri is obsessed with cutting into things
Class B's play was really successful
Tamaki is scared of Kirishima's energy
1C was planning a send-off party for Shinsou for his upcoming hero transfer. They didn't doubt he would make it, ever since the Sports Festival
Shishikura (meatball Shiketsu boy) might've chosen Shiketsu because he likes the uniform's hat
Nakagame and Yo are dating
Tsuyu's family gets to spend a lot of time together now, since their parents' busy jobs have calmed down
Tsubasa (devil wing kid in Midoriya's memories) suspiciously lost touch with Midoriya and Bakugo in middle school (his Wiki page confirms Garaki - his grandfather - turned him into a Nomu)
Torino likes goofy gags. This rubs off on All Might (ex. when Midoriya thought he died when Torino fell with ketchup. People don't know whether to laugh or be concerned)
Nighteye has yellow streaks in his hair as a homage to All Might
Nezu likes worming into tight, dark places, so he likes Aizawa's scarf. They went into detail, describing why Nezu likes it, such as material to crawling in, etc.
Recovery Girl has to travel around Japan regularly to help people with her Quirk (as in, she uses her Quirk to help them. Healing Quirks are SO rare)
Hojo, Tabe, and Sestuno are kept in the same jail, so at least they're not separated
#wish i had vestiges other than nana but even she isnt a lot of info here#since the book ends with villains from the overhaul arc i think thats where the series was when the book published#im not doing the math but the book was 2019#also i am not tagging all these characters. thats gonna throw the limit on the floor and give me nothing to work with#1b#class 1b#1-b#class 1-b#spoilers#boku no hero academia#bnha#my hero academia#mha#mha spoilers#bnha spoilers#ultra analysis book#a limit of 30 tags and 1b alone is 20 ppl? no thank u#recovery girl's Quirk is actually the ideal typical heal ability you see on fantasy series#magically heal cuts and wounds? in a quirk-way we need a way to explain it#and recovery girl's quirk is the best way to explain it: she speeds up a body's healing process#thats just what happens when u use healing magic or something in a TV show#this was my explanation for why a pokemon cant use healing moves on broken bones (HC stuff for a fanfic) before i made the connection about#recovery girl being ideal in her quirk#because if u use it on a bone to speed up the healing. it might heal incorrectly or beclme cancerous instead#so recovery girl is just “natural healing of the body” rather than “i speed up ur bodys natural stuff”#so ur cells dont multiply so fast and wrong that u now have a tumor or cancer#do i know if these points are in their wiki pages? no. honestly im not going through their pages i just think these are interesting facts#neito monoma#hitoshi shinsou#yui kodai (yup tag limit immediately)
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uh oh
#doodles#shadowrun#i dont have any explanation. come up with your own and tell me#lofwyr#drawing something funny: this is sooo funny omg im dying everyones gonna love it#afterwards: what even is comedy. do i even know what a joke is
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okay, bc i have seen this argument alot now (and it also seems to be the view point of aonuma himself..) is that "zelda cant do everything link does bc whats the point then"
and i take personal offense on that bc its a stupid argument (in. my. very. personal. opinion.- not judging people for liking it. its a ME thing)
whats the point? its that its her. its still a different character, different in story, background, personality, but i WANT to play zelda and she can do everything link does, why does she have to be so restricted and be bend over backwards to find some new way to make her 'useful' when link gets to do basically everything no questions asked (the only thing thats hers is like .. sealing power and sacrificial maiden, which i find a little underwhelming to say the least), if theres no point to it why are there always modders that model swap link with someone else, and in that case it has even less impact bc its an artificial model swap with no changes to the story (which can and should still be different when its the vanilla game with a different protagonist... its still a different character), clearly theres joy in just the model being a different one- and that isnt even to mention the story possibilities, since, again, its stil a different character
if we ever (never ... i know who we are talking about here) get to play as ganondorf i want to him to be just as versatile and active as link is, if we got a point and click adventure game for him instead bc 'whats the point' id be disappointed too- you can find any sort of excuse/explanation for zelda to be singled out but the fact remains it tracks with how female characters are often treated, and that hits a very sore spot for me
i guess i am unfortunately one of those annoying people that want to see female characters be treated exactly the same as male characters, possibly bc i am myself afab but identify as agender and have a deeply personal dislike for anything 'traditional' feminine bc i cannot and never will be able to truly live as myself in real life, it influences all of my work, my work is as just as much as my opinion on this, very personal
and in line with my point about modding, i see theres joy in just beign able to play as her even if its like this, i get that, i also get it for the creative aspect (though that mechanic worries me even more for the future bc it really seems to be the path now that -freedom = good, linear anything = bad-) it is a different idea and its not like i cant see that value- im not trying be "right" either, just bc i have that opinion doesnt mean i need everyone to agree, its a very personal thing, if you like it good for you! not for me though, and i think both of that is equally valid
i just personally wish she was allowed to be just like link, fight just like him but be different bc its still her and not him in the end- to be physically/playstyle like jsut like him, but you know ... as her, i dont think shed stop being zelda if she could wield a sword just like him
i dont really know how to get my point/feelings across, i dont want to step too much into personal stuff nor spam people with something that ultimately doesnt interest me alot, im just saddened by it really
(EDIT: bc i forgot to add this on here again; this isnt as much of a problem as it might sound like here, just the main topic i wanted to talk about; why im so uninterested in it is MAINLY bc i dont trust them to write anything interesting/care about lore anymore after totk, im always on the more pessimistic side that thinks its most likely worse than id hope and i know even the past games arent perfect or super interestingly written, but now its much more just a general distrust, together with everything like the price ... im just much less hopeful and cant get excited until i see more of it, like im waiting for the game to get out and reveal that its just as much of a mess and money i regret spending- kind of fear)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#person that send an ask about this in just as i was writing this- this isnt about you- i promise you#its soemthing thats been stirring in my mind since yesterday#and seeing so many of those comments- and even aonuma himself say it#just strikes a very very personal sore spot#also to that one commenter on a different post-#no- wanting female characters being allowed to wield a sword is not “badass female character mysogyni” (idk how to spell that rn)#the hollywood badass female character thing is annoying but thats bc-#its a super model woman (bc shes ALLOWED TO BE FEMININE you KNOW) fight people in high heels- bc you can be feminie AND badass-#and then does a cringy one liner 'what you thoguht a FEMALE couldnt kick your teeth in'#which comes with alot more baggage of tropes and hollywood etc etc#i long for the 'women are jsut as capable as men' in a very agender way#why do you think i intentionally design alot of female characters non tradtionally feminie or masculine#again this is a very pseronal thing to me#BUT i do think it IS questionable that its her that isnt allowed to fight with a sword#like i dont think thats much of my personal dislike there- but a valid thing to point out no matter the explanations you can come up with#anyway- i dont hate it- but its not for me- i dont want to talk much about it#i hope you can excuse me not answering the asks i got related to this- id just repeat myself#(i guess i should be glad that its the top down one that gets her as the protagonist-)#(i dont think i want to live through seeing her be animated like the typically girly feminine butt wiggle in your face tehehe)#(the botw/totk cutscnes were enough of that for me PERSONALLY)#i dont know how many times i have to say its my very biased personally personal opinion and no a judging of others#to make it clear that no one has to agree with me and i dont want to be convinced of the other opinions of this
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Oh you so desperately want to be a rabid animal. You put on a violent act, snarl and bite anyone that comes into contact with you, pushing away everyone you can, putting on an act that the people want to see, playing into their expectations of what disease truly is.
You so deeply wish there was some simple explanation for it. Some easy-to-define reasoning as to why you act the way you do. Why you can't stand the way their hands reach out to you in kindness. Why it makes you feel sick. You so desperately want to call it a disease, a malady, a virus, when you're just scared. You've been scared all your life. You've been gnashing your teeth before they can bite you first for as long as you can remember.
But I know what a rabid animal looks like and it is not you. You are not fatal. You are not doomed. You're acting because it's all you know how to do anymore, and I can see right through it.
#ace on stage#um. hi#some weird feelings about characters and how rabies is portrayed#its often shown as very inaccurate to how it actually functions. i love rabid dog characters but i think a dog that tries#so hard to be seen as rabid‚ to have an explanation better than fear#is a Much More Interesting perspective#i dunno. its late. i needed to write some bullshit down or it was repeating in my head forever#um. dont touch wild animals. especially not bats. especially if they act weird or friendly. or even hurt#especially hurt. you want to help them. but dont touch them#if a wild animal bites you‚ go to the doctors immediately.#rabies has no cure. once you display symptoms you are dead. it has a 100% fatality rate in humans.#its a very fascinating virus to me#Captain's Logs#<- writing tag i guess
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it is friday my dudes (little hearts added by @tazmiilly)
#sorryyyyyy for not posting ... please accept these as compensation#gravity falls#fiddleford mcgucket#artwork of the damned#tales of the wild zeep#ummmm ok context for the first one should be mostly self-explanatory#i purposefully left the person he's calling open to interpretation#however for the record i will say i am a 'fiddleford was divorced before he came to gravity falls' truther#but that does not mean he would never call back to cali to check in on his son or anything#so take that as you will#uhhhh everything else is pretty silly and doesnt require much explanation i dont think??#i dont draw pre-college fidds a lot even though i literally have a whole backstory written for him LOLLLL#also i have a whole complex where when i draw a character pre-transition i feel embarrassed#sort of like i've walked in on them in the bathroom or something. like 'whoops sorry' and i politely look away#want to make it VERY CLEAR i dont think theres anything wrong or bad about drawing someone pre-transition!!#it's just a weird thing ive noticed about myself that i'm trying to deal with#and it literally only happens when i'm drawing. not when i'm writing
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he was bullying kids on binweevils dot com.
thank u @fur-bee for putting the image into my head
#honestly I dont really have an explanation for this#I just used to call people stupid on bin weevils as a kid#does anyone even remember bin weevils#mp100#mob psycho 100#mp100 fanart#reigen arataka#kageyama shigeo#shigeo kageyama#mob psycho fanart#rhp art
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btw i will forever recommend just. refusing to engage in discourse. its free its easy and you literally arent missing anything LMAO - 99% of discourse on here is just on the most pointless petty shit that literally doesnt mean a single thing to anyone in real life (i am looking directly at you "pRo/AnTi" shippers), and the other 1% is genuinely important shit... that isnt going to be solved in any productive way by insulting '''the other side''' online. arguing with strangers online never changes anyones mind all youre doing is making yourself *and* your cause look annoying as hell :thumbsup: maybe chill out. find a hobby.
#dont even get me started on how apparently this entire fucking site has never heard of nuance in its life#im ngl dude i think if youre boiling down a complicated topic to 'well this is the good side (my side) and then the BAD EVIL SIDE'#and putting anyone who even slightly falls out of line with your beliefs on the evil side#like. thats not gonna be productive in the slightest right. you understand that right#if you wanna have meaningful nuanced discussions with people you actually know about serious topics then go for it!#just dont drag random strangers into it#if i have to see one more post with dumb bullshit acronyms that everyones expected to know that insults anyone who doesnt blindly agree wit#them i stg#'if you dont agree with this then clearly youre a [evil side] who hates [group] and does [bad thing]. theres no other logical explanation#for you possibly not agreeing with me'#and theyre talking about the most obscure insane discourse youve literally never heard of before thatll be flooding your dash for the next#month#had to unfollow a really good artist because they just kep reblogging the most aggressive 'every [evil side] sucks and hates [good side] an#doesnt care about them and wants to oppress them'#(said '[evil side]' wasnt even a moral stance it was literally just something you were born as. like. you get how thats fucked up right)#which uh. sucked! especially since i was part of that [evil side]#anyway midnight rant over tldr uhhh discourse stupid go get hobbies#and if i ever mention what discourse topic inspired this post ill probably get torn apart LMAOO#(hint: its one of the stupid pointless ones)#me.txt
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