#would anyone like to guess the old man?
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the age old question of do i want to fuck that fictional old man or do i want to be the daughter the narrative never gave him?
#i...#dont have a good explanation for why this is a battle in my mind#other than that i dont even like men irl so like these feelings dont make sense anyway#but having to choose is hard because i am NOT comfortable with the answer being both#this is about gravity falls but it applies to other fandoms as well#gravity falls#would anyone like to guess the old man?#jokes on you its all of them#one at a time of course (with the fuck part I think they could all be my father figure at once and it not be weird)#whats weird is i have a dad#who was there for me my whole life#so like#where did this shit come from#stanford pines#stanley pines#fiddleford mcgucket#i dont really wanna fuck fiddleford but like... i feel like he and i are very similar so he gets to be included#i too have crippling anxiety i wish i could just erase even if the cost is my sanity#thats why i dont let myself get drunk or high#teehee#these tags are a mess#vent#sorta#relatable#more like debatable#heyo#anyway#text post#not art#fandom stuff
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reading boba fett’s story in legacy of the force really is like, “wow, this man’s got 99 problems and actually communicating with the people he loves would solve at least 85% of them”
#this man’s really like#``two generations of my offspring have tried to hunt me down over a misunderstanding’’#``but setting the record straight would involve unearthing old trauma so. guess i’ll die :/’’#and ‘‘i’m dying of a terminal disease and have known this for years but emotional conversations are scary’’#‘‘so i won’t tell my best friend until i’ve got just a handful of months left and we all have to haul ass figuring out what to do’’#and ‘‘a sizable faction of the mandalorians i rule think i killed the beloved old leader as an act of selfish usurpation’’#‘‘but i don’t think anyone would believe me if i tried to explain it was a mercy killing so i won’t even try.’’#[shakes him by the shoulders] TALK DAMN YOU#boba fett#legacy of the force
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Inspired by this post: give Bruce a star sapphire ring
I've never met anyone who cared as deeply for his fellow man as Bruce Wayne
#imagine with me an 18 year old Bruce standing at the mouth of The Alley on the night of The Anniversary#he holds two roses in his hand. he isn't sure if he wants to run away or lie down right there more.#and then a shooting star drops out of the sky#and it hovers in front of him#and says 'for hearts long lost and full of fright'#and 'for those alone on blackest night'#and Bruce accepts the ring and the oath#it's one he already swore to his parents anyway#i mean he's still gonna do his world tour training#he's not gonna be caught unable to fight if he loses the ring or it runs out of power!#also i think he's uh. not exactly like. connected with any of the other star sapphires much#so like he really has no idea what's going on#he's heard of green lantern#he figures he's a purple/violet/starsapphire lantern#but like he also isn't exactly. introducing himself much#gotham kids call him the star man#gotham goons call him the violent lantern#yes he would be much stronger in a group of star sapphires#no he isn't gonna do that though#and i mean fair i guess#he's a mid or even low powered compared to other purple lanterns#but there aren't any other lanterns in Gotham. and he doesn't need his ring for most of his fights anyway.#'oh pocket there's already a starman in-' shh. that's why it's star dash man. random Gotham kids also don't know don't care#ok I'm gonna go back to work now ughhhhh#my art#Alt text#why does anyone even live in gotham#Bruce Wayne
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why are you, as an adult in 2024, still hung up on reylo. why are you still mocking the shippers. why do you believe yourself to be superior only because you dislike a stupid ship from a fucking space fairytale. girl (gnc) get a grip
#it's ridiculous. this ship is... stupidly cliché. like if you know fandoms at all#you could easily guess why people would be into it. hello?? have you tried to watch tfa without your hate-on-kyle-ron goggles?#did you watch their scenes together? you don't have to like something to recognize the hints#hell. at the time i didn't really like jonerys but i realized they were going to be a thing when i read agot in 2011#like folks. it's been nearly TEN LONG YEARS. let it go. LET IT FUCKING GOOOO#and for the lucy/cooper shippers out there who think reylos are (again) delusional when they compare the two ships:#no. *you* are being delusional only because you think reylo is unsexy and uncool (which is your right to think btw. obv)#if you can't see why someone would like both of these pairings for similar reasons... idk what to say honestly#people compared it to hannigram... honestly. again i see why they would appeal to anyone who's into both ships#i really do. but... unpopular opinion (since i'm more of a clannibal fan than i could ever be of reylo):#they are more similar to reylo than will/hannibal. there i said it#i'm not talking about the writing (admittedly the quality of it was questionable). i'm talking about tropes#never mind that imo the ghoul is more akin to vader than kylo but whatever#hannibal is an unapologetic kind of villain. he's not gonna have a redemption arc and that's okay#cooper is an antivillain who used to be a good man and became a disfigured cruel bastard. a parody of himself#lucy is him. him before the bombs dropped before he discovered the person he trusted the most wanted to commit genocide#nice. moral. polite. infused with the Good Old American Values™. he's basically her dark side#all of this is very hannigram/clannibal. i'm not denying it at all#but what'll likely happen is that lucy's actions will have a positive influence on the ghoul and remind him of what it means to be a man#and that's way more reylo-like. sorry.#beauty&thebeast/villain with some hidden good in him+morally righteous heroine/enemies to lovers etc.#i mean. hello??..... having said that. i'm not so much of a reylo shipper anymore and tbh never was. i really liked it at the time#but i was never fond of the st era. my fav characters are vader and leia and revan from the old eu. just saying#*and* it's also not impossible lucy gets darker with the ghoul as her traveling companion. in fact i wouldn't dislike it at all#if done well i mean#but i would still like for people to be intellectually honest and less puerile. god knows i have my notps#but i really don't give a fuck about the shippers. good for them i guess? i have better taste lmao but that's heavily subjective#val rambles in the tags#val speaks#txt
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the downside to being a sitcom neighbour sort of person is that when rough things happen and emotionally fuck u up a lil bit, it also sounds completely made up
#bert's dead dad tag#found out today the way my dad told mom he wanted a divorce?#he wrote her a letter and left it on the dining room table for her to find on the morning of her fortieth birthday#who the fuck does that dead father#like that is the sort of thing i would entirely make up if i needed everyone at the table to fuckin hate an npc#and at least one person would go 'you're laying it on a little bit heavy'#i know he did work to become a better person as he got older#which is good because BOY howdy was that man a piece of shit in the early 90s#and we are having Complicated feelings about it tonight and also for the last nine months#something something when i was writing his eulogy i came across an old article discussing something he did in the 90s#YDIP (your dad is problematic)#like yeah this is the sort of thing that would have been vaguely acceptable in the cultural context#but like. still objectively bad. potentially ruining several lives sort of bad.#learned this and then wrote the rest of his eulogy about how he was a great guy and how i'm lucky to have been his son#(which was rough enough on its own because i've never said 'i'm [dad's name]'s son' as many times as i did that trip home)#but like what else do you do? i sent off a message looking for more information#and that information if it comes is just gonna sit with me i guess#sure as hell not telling my sister and this whole thing i've been getting through without really having anyone here for me to talk to#(hence the big fuckoff tag rant. your problem now losers who like clicking the read more button)#so even if i get all the answers i want about this one thing it's not gonna do any good except putting an end to one question#but part of having a dead dad who's been out of the business of forming new memories since you came out is having more questions#answering this one's just gonna add even more questions to the pile#but. got fuckall else to do
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If I gotta be like this mf in all the bad ways
chronically late
seen as intellectually talented at a young age but feeling like a failure 24/7
suffering from severe depression
barely holding my shit together
isolated from everyone my age (See: the third and fourth point)
Where tf is the equivalent to this dude in my life??? This ain't fair, yo

#I would never admit it to anyon's face but I kinda do need someone to be my eternal rival and/or hype man/woman#or “man of destiny” or whatever phrase 5 year old Gai uses in that flashback👀#like...can i have this one thing in the sea of garbage and disappointment that is life or whatever... pls#naruto#kakashi hatake#maito gai#might guy#kakagai#i guess#this isn't really a ship post or whatever but feel free to interpret it whichever way suits you haha#either way they're the best duo in the manga/anime. no competition#naruto shippuden
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can I just say I think it's fucking insane that I have to pay $200 to talk to a therapist about the fact that my partner can't get himself fucking together
#like#how about you just get yourself together instead#how about that#fuck i feel like im going crazt#i literally live in a house full of people who are older than me#how do you people not understand the base concept of sharing#is it some kind of counter point because I'm in the living room?#i don't have a space i can work that's not the main room#but the fact that a nearly 30 year old man feels the need to buy a months worth of groceries when there are 4 of us living together#and a fridge that's half the size of a normal one#like my brother in christ#you dont need this much shit#and now i have to deal with fucking fixing it again#cuz guess what#hes not going to#he's not going to spend the $50 and book the truck to get the fridge over#he's not going to make time for someone with a bigger car than me to pick it up#he's not going to reach out to anyone#hes going to expect me to do it#AGAIN#but somehow if i ask him to fucking handle it then im the bad guy#he would genuinely rather spend more money that he doesnt have on ordering one to the house rather than just finding 2 hours to get it over#i feel like im going crazy
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im also increasingly sure that im autistic but we'll never ever confirm that </3
#i had this in person entry exam to a new university to a course that involves working with people young and old#and Apparently waiting for your turn to speak means you never get a turn to speak which means you're not the right fit to be working with#children. i was polite sorry i didnt get in your face about it. come on. :-/#but ok i shall remain the world's most distraught humanities student for a year more. and im going to complain the whole time#i Was excited about this but i did misjudge what this course would be like. bummer. at least the teachers at btk are sweet and lovely#but god let me out. i dont want to do this. i dont want to do any of this. someone give me a thesis question that can't be dealt with in#two sentences#every time i think of something it's like oh yeah the answer is right here. this is the answer and im not going to make a fool of anyone in#writing 15 pages about it#which is admittedly not a lot but i am a man of succinctness and i want an actual worthy topic#and currently im only thinking about jeeves and wooster. i guess there could be something about societal commentary and everything but thats#not very interesting is it#so hi if anyone has an idea they want a meddling english student to research and write about in some detail chime in in the replies#my post#look how succinct these tags are. proving my point#as to why ill never get diagnosed: i could get into that as well but ive almost run out of tags
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you would not beliueve what im doing(actually being productive)
#i was working on my website and was like#'man i want to make a page for mmd stuff'#and then i was like 'but i dont rly make new mmd stuff so it would just be all old things:('#and then i was like 'i wish my izaya model looked nicer :('#so i tried to use this boy from honkai star rail's model to remake izaya's face yet AGAIN#i hated it. so i was like okay fine let me try my hand at modeling from scratch AGAIN#and now we are here.#will i finish this? i am highly doubtful#ah but if anyone smart and better at this thing has any guidance to offer...#i can't figure out where the ear is supposed to connect to the head...#and i also can't figure out the shape of the head...#i'm getting really bold with this modeling thing as if i don't have like zero drawing and anatomy skills#if you couldn't guess
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nightbringer lesson 14 FUCKED ME UP in several ways but primarily I've spent the last 48 hours making myself sad over the solomon backstory we got. specifically I have, for no reason, latched onto that one chapter in the Kids event where baby solomon cried because he felt so guilty over being responsible for that spell. and that just feels a touch more depressing in context
#nightbringer spoilers#obey me on side#went back and unlocked the event again because i could not get this out of my brain i know it's probably not that deep#but it is that deep TO ME. okay#baby solomon has been on my brain since thirteen told that story so that's probably why it's sticking in my brain so hard but whatever#in case anyone was wondering the other things to make me sad are:#he has such a deeply excessive amount of lights in his room in purgatory hall there are SEVERAL chandeliers and lamps#there's a good handful in his room in cocytus hall too (his horror dg showed it) if a more normal amount#but that with the 'dim and gloomy' detail. ☹️#i've also always thought that solomon's loneliness wasn't all about the immortal angst but like.#having it confirmed that he's had reason to be lonely since he was a child- before he was old enough to know he was using magic-#totally crushed me girl why can't I be wrong#had emotions about lesson 14 in general but solomon backstory steals the show every time for me so i haven't gotten around to the rest#i'm enjoying the nightbringer story so much (not talking about the game design. that's a different thing entirely) but man#the pacing is WILD it feels like every lesson could be a whole lesson block at the least. it's giving me a lot of room to speculate#which I always love! but i do wish they would slow down a little and expand on some of these concepts they're bringing up#because the basic idea of the game alone is REALLY INTRIGUING and it'd be a shame if they raced back to the present imo#what was i even talking about. sorry my brain fast forwards as soon as i get into the tags there is not one sequitur to be seen#so curious about solomon's friend now too. like my guess is it's going to be lilith (and hopefully not in a popular fan theory kind of way)#because it's more than a little suspicious that they expanded on lilith's views on humans the way they did#in a way that SO PERFECTLY lines up with the expansion on solomon's views on humans#WHICH I HAVEN'T TALKED ABOUT YET BY THE WAY BUT LIKE. HE IS SO RIGHT AND REAL FOR THAT#it's beyond stressful to me that I think solomon is completely justified in his views and being completely reasonable about it#but that it would also mean war between the worlds presumably while the brothers are still recovering from THEIRS#you cannot give me that choice man. not even sure that the human world would be ABLE to win that fight if we're being real#solomon's 72 pacts are a lot yes but he's still only one guy who is NOT on good terms with the sorcerer's society#and mc is powerful but so so inexperienced. and that's IF they choose to side with the human world which#really i don't think the canon mc is likely to do. but anyway i guess solomon's friend could also be adam maybe?#that could be wishful thinking because i like adam though. even if his hair SUUUCKS#deeply offended by everyone thinking solomon got the fucked up hair when all signs point to adam be NICE TO HIM he's ugly already
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me, the symptoms experiencer, experiencing symptoms: wow gee i wonder what the fuck is happening right now i have no context for why i could possibly feel bad, surely i'm not experiencing symptoms. me, when i figure out it's the symptoms:
#gif warning#medical stuff#man getting labled as a hypochondriac at a formative age (any) was a hell of a kick to the balls#i don't even have those#and yet#me when i've been told all my symptoms can't be real and that i was makign it up for attention so i started just not talking about them#even though in private without anyone around i was still experiencing the symptoms i decided i just Wasn't#because why would my parents be wrong about that - they loved me right?#so if something was concerning they'd be worried if it was a real thing - i wasn't making it up but maybe i was#no one should have taught my father the term psychosomatic#he's the reason it's had to go up on the shelf#mom flat out telling me it was impossible that [redacted] because i was quote ''too young'' for it to be happening#so now i'm old and it's a Real Big Fucking Deal I guess#i'm experiencing the flare/crash i was anticipating and - thank fuck - my brain isn't going down the tubes with it#which is a fucking miracle because this is the lead up to my period and *normally* that's when the PMDD hits real fucking bad#but in a stroke of luck (???) my body decided it was just going to smash itself into the ground Krillin-style#and as i lay here in the crater of my own body's making i'm just like. well at least i don't want to die#which is truly the most throwing thing of everything actually#anyway....#got hEDS put on my medical file for reals though so like#that's in there#that exists#also the look of HORROR on the nurse tech's face when i showed how much distance my hips spread *every month* for my period#i'm LITERALLY going into labor monthly and i've been doing that since i was 11#no fucking WONDER my body has collapsed out from under me if we even just go by that fucking metric like godDAMN#ugh anyway.... i'm. this was NOT the stuff i wanted to focus on this year for personal growth and healing but we're doing it now i guess!#fuck! goddamn! piss in a cup#i have also... failed to do the task i was meant to today and technically there's still time but it's uh. i. i'm gonna need to ask for help#and i HATE asking for help especiallywhen i need it most#another thing my parents have to answer for when they greet whatever judge they find at the end of their lives
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DO NOT GET DISTRACTED
#i know i know im currently jsamn pilled or whatever#but im so fascinated by the story changes that would happen with genderswapped jsamn#like the biggest one would be...how the hell would norrell reconcile making english magic respectable#with also her need to be The Magician whilst also being a woman?#like i cannot imagine her even as a woman considering female magicians as respectable#esp if we also genderswap john uskglass and have her be the raven queen like could you imagine the propaganda against old magic twice over#female strange would be just as much of a chaotic talented whirlwind except every time someone says 'you cant do that youre a woman'#she is a) astonished to remember 'oh yeah i guess' and then b) proceeds to be disgruntled and then c) decides not to give a fuck about it#female childermass would still smoke her pipe ans do her sneaking but probs disguised as a man#which norrell hates but is willing to ignore as long as she comes into the house in skirts#male emma would probs take the place of walter pole in the sense#that he would still be sickly and die and be bargained#but norrell would use the resurrection as a trade for his support for magic etc#i guess female stephen would be female walters ladys maid but i cant see anyone taking her condition any more serious as a woman#it wouls probs be worse tbh#but also she would have the frustration of knowing how to sort out a house and accounts etc but not having the authority to do it#which the lady with the thistledown hair would try to fix for her obvs#thistle would be exactly the same except probs a misandrist haha#BUT. i cannot get distracted by this#i must laser focus on the other fic#this is how fic orphans are created
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Y'all I just realized... March 10th is officially Lurimol's first anniversary. And also kind of my anniversary of really getting super into hollow knight?
Sh. Should I do something?
#I'll likely do some art for myself but im like#would it be annoying to like. idek the word. encourage? others to partake in tragic old man yaoi on that day#i dont wanna be annoying TTwTT#but also wow ive had a hyperfixation for a full year thats a new record#idk i guess im proud of my little ship#ive learned a lot by doing art of them and also writing fic for the very first time???#lots of good things have come from gay bugs#if anyone makes lurimol stuff on that day i think i'd cry and piss and shit and throw up#but in a positive manner#may make a better post later idk idk
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i see posts sometimes saying that people who complain about lack of complex female characters should read umineko, which yes, but i honestly worry if they would have enough nerve to handle rosa. forget about beato, eva is level easy, it's freaking rosa i'm talking about. CAN you?? can you handle youngest child traumatized as hell turned abusive and neglectful single mother rosa?? can you handle episode 4 sakutaro death scene?? are you SURE you can handle that?? there's people who have trouble dealing with the sentient candy princess bubblegum, would they be able to cope with dearest darlingest rosa is what i'm saying
#in my heart i'm always rooting for culprit rosa yes rosa go ahead murder those people. you have the violence it takes for it#remember when she swung a fucking chair at kinzo. that wasn't even a real thing i guess but oh my god it was absolutely incredible#one of the best moves anyone's ever done few things in umineko have felt as satisfying as rosa swinging a chair at the old man#i'm so upset whenever she dies early in a game cause it just isn't the same for me without rosa#there either being sketchy af or acting in horrendous ways or doing weird shit like#randomly sleeping in couches and hugging eva out of nowhere. which are things that might also be in the sketchy af category#it's so sad that knox 4th commandment exists cause i would looove to be able to say rosa has putting something in that black tea of hers#highly troubled woman you are in my thoughts always#umineko spoilers#umineko liveblog
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man yellowjackets would be so much better if it didnt keep cutting back to the present day
#incoming tag rant#I DONT CARE ABOUT THESE GROWN ASS WOMEN SHOW ME THE LORD OF THE FLIES SHIT#like i dont wanna see that shauna is having an affair i wanna see these teenagers go crazy dude#im not kidding i skip through all the present day shit like an ad on youtube bc i dont cAREEEEE#its starting to frustrate me BROOOO#also how are they making three seasons outta this what more story can you tell#bc if its not about the wilderness im not gonna watch it HAHA#one could say im impatient and thats the point of tension and buildup BUT i can argue that these ladies' lives are fucking boring HAHA#i wanna know more about lottie and why she has weird visions (which they allude to in the cold open) bUT we're back to taissa and her bs#n e way both actresses who play misty are great i wanna kick her fucking throat in LMFAOO /pos to the actresses#we dont even see how it traumatized them in present day which would actually be interesting#all we know is shauna is guilty and taissa is vegan now LIKEEEEE who the fuck cares man HAHAH#and i guess someone is blackmailing them? okay ?? and ?????#sidenote does it ever bother anyone else when shows/movies show [usually] girls naked that are supposed to be teenagers ?#like the actress is 20-30 n a consenting adult but in the eyes of the show im supposed to be looking at a 16 year old girl ? thats weird !#seems like a weird loophole that we dont talk about enough ? id rather not see a naked teenager even if its not real thank you very much🧍🏻���#takes me out of the show too lmao im like wait this is supposed to be a minor i dont think i should be looking at this :/#why did tumblr gender neutralize my emoji HAHAHA
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im about to make a statement that might get me bonked on the head by two different fandoms
kaito and astarion have a similar core desire for power, in that they came to desire it because of trauma and basically want these potentially dangerous powers so they can never be hurt like that again, when in reality that power is unnecessary when trying to protect themselves and it's not worth the corruption
but astarion (and everything else in baldur's gate 3) is written with so much more nuance and was carefully crafted with proper impact, you can tell how much care was put into it...while kaito is unfortunately not written that well, like he has potential which is why i love him, but from an objective standpoint, he's not written well, and part of it is just because the writers have him say the same things over and over and he kinda stays static almost, he has moments of development but they don't really change him, and while character development can be "this character does not learn the lesson they should learn and suffer the consequences", even that feels poorly written. kaito becomes the final villain in gaim at the last minute, when hes been on the good side for the entire story up to that point, and then they threw in some random misogyny for kicks even though he was genuinely connected with mai?? like kaito's a jerk but he's the same guy who helped shapool even after the dude literally drugged him with knockout spray and put him in trouble because of it. there was always going to be a clash of ideals between kouta and kaito, but it felt like it only went deadly just so they can live up to the fight they promised through the entire season, especially when you remember all the scenes where kaito helps the rest of the main cast despite him fundamentally disagreeing with how power works, how many times he works well with kouta in situations they both get into
the promised fight between kouta and kaito didn't work in the end because it felt like the fates were forcing it to happen, changing characterization so suddenly just to keep up with promises, a fight between two people who were on the same side just only days ago. the promised fight with cazador works because the fates wove together naturally, pushing the party to destroy a man who had a calculated horrific plan in the making for 200 years, something that astarion was always going to try and stop no matter what - he didn't need to have his nature forcibly changed for the fight to make sense.
#does this make sense to anyone?? god i hope it does#at this point im basically telling urobuchi to play bg3 honestly#like i love kaito so so much hes my little guy i adore him#objectively? bro his personal story is not written well#we have so much gaps of info in his backstory alone that would be very good to have to explain things abt him#but we dont have that#there are technically gaps like that for astarion too but only because hes a character with a longer lifespan#and even then theres the explaination of 'this man had gone through such severe trauma that there are gaps in his memory of his old life'#and then the 200 years can be explained by 'cazador's layers upon layers of abuse'#urobuchi gave us details about kaitos life at like 7 and then theres a gap from age 8 to 20#and it's core details like what was the aftermath of his parents' deaths? we know he went to an orphanage but when that closed what then??#i have many brain thoughts and words#and worms too i guess#kamen rider baron#kamen rider gaim#kaito kumon#astarion#astarion ancunin#baldur's gate 3#bg3
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