#tales of the wild zeep

[divorcedfiddleford]

happy 10 year anniversary to the most out of left field fucked up backstory reveal of all time (and my favorite gf episode)

[divorcedfiddleford]

fiddleford: leaves his wife and family of his own volition for a job that sounds cool, quits said job also of his own volition when it gets to be too much, chooses horrible coping mechanisms and starts shooting himself repeatedly with a memory erasing gun and founds a cult and forgets who he is tumblr users: why would ford do this to him

its 2024 why am I still getting asks where people tell me they think ford ruined fiddlefords life

[jeekoftheweek]

these assholes look like wild zeep

[divorcedfiddleford]

ford to ford conversation

ford to ford communication

[divorcedfiddleford]

stanley pines really is one of the characters of all time. he's a gemini and an identical twin but knowing this is a major spoiler for the show. he punched a pterodactyl in the face. he wore groucho marx glasses to his b'nei mitzvah. he invented imposter syndrome. he's a massive jerk. he's transgender and a misogynist. he scares children for fun and actively seeks out reasons to fight them. he's from new jersey. his adhd and autism are battling to the death. he has a tattoo but he doesn't have a tattoo. he punched his brother in the face. he's been to jail in three different countries. he dropped out of high school only to spend 30 years teaching himself nuclear physics and quantum mechanics. he's divorced. he hired a gamer as a handyman 10 years ago and the gamer is kind of his son now. he lives off of brown meat, soda, liquor, bad puns, and cigars. he's a professional con artist. he's a terrible liar. he banished his brother to the nether realm for decades, but like, it was an accident. his dad kicked him out of home. he regularly commits massive tax fraud. he needs dentures by the age of 60. his niece will tell you he has a heart of gold. his nephew will say it's probably pyrite. he will hold on to a grudge until it kills him. no one can hate him more than he already hates himself. he saved the world by lying. he's bi and no one wants him, but that's okay because he gets sick of them all the morning after anyway. he's living out his dreams on a boat but realistically he's gonna get seasick and want to go home in less than a year. he killed the devil by punching him in the face. he's stealing your wallet right now

[divorcedfiddleford]

i can never choose between these two so here are both of them dsfgnbsnmdf

okay everyone time to draw your favorite pokemon from memory i’ll start with my gal scyther

i think i got her pretty well lol

[divorcedfiddleford]

does anyone remember what you're supposed to choose at this part i always forget and i don't want to look up a walkthrough

[divorcedfiddleford]

really fucking funny to see angst art centered around the wedding ring that fiddleford doesn't have

[divorcedfiddleford]

even if you think fiddleford was still married when he left california i really think there's ample evidence that his relationship with his wife was already on the rocks

[divorcedfiddleford]

pray for me i got up at 4:30 am to phone an east coast call center as soon as they opened and immediately got put on hold. we have hit the half hour mark

[divorcedfiddleford]

people who say ford and bill's relationship was good "before the betrayal" blow my mind like as though it was a decision bill made years in to turn on ford and not literally his plan from the start. same with people who then ship them and are like "they're two consenting adults" like yeah im sure ford 100% consented to having his thoughts infiltrated and tampered with and he loved the emotional manipulation he wanted that actually he asked bill "hey can you drive away all the other people in my life who i love and also make my eye bleed a lot" and it was totally consensual. shut the fuck up

edit: holy shit do not tag this as billford. what the fuck is wrong with you

[divorcedfiddleford]

the world is not ready for my old man mcgucket discourse. i thought we were getting somewhere but then that book came out and now i have no faith in any of you

[divorcedfiddleford]

He looks funny, right? You think he looks funny.

I do too. But he lives his whole life. So you have to take him seriously eventually, right? And be respectful and shit.

I think he can building in the junkyard for robots.

[divorcedfiddleford]

for what it's worth personally i do think fiddleford and emma liked each other and i think he was excited to be a dad and all that i just think he's a little bit too much of a freak to ever truly be content living in the suburbs with a 9-5 job so california was mostly this for him

[divorcedfiddleford]

i’ve seen a couple people on the “switching lanes in intersections” post try to defend fiddleford by bringing up that he was raised in a small town and you guys are so kind to him but i’m pretty sure he’s just unhinged behind the wheel

[divorcedfiddleford]

i think the problems with how wendy is written in the show (see: misogyny) can be most succinctly summarized with the simple fact that she is the only character in the intro photograph to not have an episode which follows her point of view