#i dont even eat meat anymore and I Still Want That Place Back!!!! it was So cheap!!! and Ridiculously good.

[bitchfitch]

sometimes you see a post, and it makes you long to go back to a nostalgic, simpler time. One where the good barbeque place wasn't in fucking ashes because it was a cartel front and someone threw a molotov through the window.

[m-musings]

Winging It: Buggy the Clown X Winged! Fem! Reader Pt. 2

A/n: ehhhh this part is definitely not as good as the first but i still like it and that's all that matters! also, i forgot to say this on part 1 but lmk if you want to be added to the one piece fic taglist or any other taglist!

(part 1 here! :] )

Word Count: 2k Summary: Being sick of the duo dodging their problems, the other pirates take the matter of Buggy and (Y/n)'s relationship into their own hands. Warnings: a bit of angst but mainly fluff.

It had been about 3 weeks since the incident on the island, and tensions between Buggy and (Y/n) were at an all time high.

What was once friendly camaraderie was now an awkward mess of a thing. Any contact they had before had been limited to only seeing each other when absolutely necessary. Avoiding each other in meetings with the crew or eating alone during mealtime had become a common practice for the two.

If Buggy needed something of (Y/n), he would make one of the others tell her in his place, just so he wouldn't have to face her. (Y/n) even began skipping show rehearsals to spare the both of them from anymore embarrassment or heartache.

No matter how hard she had tried, Buggy had pretty much stopped acknowledging her existence all together and vice versa.

It did hurt (Y/n) to not be around him as often, but she still didn't have the courage to face Buggy again, no matter how much she just wanted to run up and throw her arms around him in an affectionate embrace.

"Thinking about the clown again?" A voice called from across the table, pulling (Y/n) from her thoughts.

(Y/n) lifted her gaze to look back at Alvida, who was waiting for a response with one eyebrow lifted in question.

With a saddened nod, (Y/n) tentatively picked at the food on her plate.

"Am I that easy to read?..." Half-heartedly laughed (Y/n) as she pushed a piece of potato from one side of her platter to the other.

"Kinda, yeah. You've been like this ever since the day I had that meeting with you guys.."

"Well, that's pretty much when this whole thing started. It sucks, but I can't change what happened back there."

"Why don't you two just make up already, then? It's obvious that you both like each other. A little too much if you ask me..." Alvida grumbled as she took a sip of the drink in her hand.

"You dont get it, 'Vida. His face after he said was just... utter disappointment. Almost like he hated himself for having feelings for me. And then, he just- just walks away without another word! I never want to experience that feeling ever again!" (Y/n) groaned, burying her head in her arms now crossed on the table.

"But have you even thought about asking him why he walked off?"

"Of course I have! I tried to a few days afterwards but every time I got close, he said he was busy and left me standing there like a fool! So, obviously there's no point in making the effort anymore."

"Maybe not, but if there's one thing I know about all this sappy shit, it's that you'll never find out the truth unless you talk it out."

"Sure, I'll do that when that Luffy guy finds the One Piece! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a meal to eat." (Y/n) snarked before angrily stabbing into a piece of meat on her plate as the female captain stood up from the table.

Alvida simply sighed, shaking her head in response before turning around to go order around some of the Big Top crew to do some work around the ship.

The next day, (Y/n) was flying above the boat, watching out for a town that laid on the northern part of the Polestar Islands while thinking about her conversation with Alvida.

As she scanned the skyline, her attention was captured by Cabaji shouting for her.

"Hey, (Y/n) could you come with me for a while? I need some help with something below deck! Mohji said he'd take over as lookout for you for a bit."

"Uh, yeah, be down there in a second!" Called (Y/n) before closed her wings and soared down to land directly next to the unicyclist.

Following him as he lead her down a hallway in the sleeping quarters of the ship, Cabaji looked behind to give (Y/n) an almost apologetic smile before turning to face forwards again.

With a confused look on her face, she started to survey her surroundings warily as the two continued to strut through the ships underbelly.

As (Y/n) and Cabaji reached the door, she saw Buggy and Alvida approaching not far behind.

(Y/n)'s posture instantly become more rigid as she looked straight ahead to avoid eye contact with the man she had been dreading to be around.

"Captain."

"(Y/n)."

The air was thick with apprehension as the two pirates silently stood side by side, trying not to bump into each other in the restrictive space.

"Ok, so the problem we're having is right in this room. Both of you can come and take a look." Said the raven-haired acrobat as he motioned to the dwelling before him.

The winged girl and red-nosed man leaned forward to be met with a little room full of buckets, brooms and mops.

Taken aback, both chanced a glance at one another before spinning their heads around to see an anxious looking Cabaji wringing his hands together.

"Cabaji, what are we doing at the supply closet?" Buggy sighed as he irritatedly placed a hand over his eyes.

"Yeah, there's nothing here but cleaning stuff and old wine barrels."

"Well you see, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for what I'm about to do to you two because it's for your own good!" Cabaji winced with regret, suddenly reeling back before shoving (Y/n) and Buggy into the room.

(Y/n) hissed in pain, barely managing to recover when she peered up and saw Alvida smirk at her before slamming the wooden door shut.

"Hey wait! What the hell is going on?!" (Y/n) asked as she got up from the floor and began to pound on the door, which was refusing to open.

Buggy pushed himself back up and tried to turn the handle, only to find it had been locked from the outside.

"Cabaji! You better unlock this door now or I'm shooting you out of a canon!" Growled Buggy as he started banging on the door too.

"No way! We're not letting you two out until you idiots finally talk it out! I'm sick of you guys avoiding each other all the time!" Alvida yelled from somewhere outside the door.

"You can't do this!" (Y/n) exclaimed as she used all her force to push against the panels.

"I can if it's what gets you both to have a normal conversation for once! Now talk or I'll come in there and make you talk!" Alvida stated with a barking kind of chortle.

As Buggy tried to use his devil fruit abilities to knock the door down, (Y/n) tried to search for any other way out of this predicament while the pair heard Alvida and Cabaji's footsteps recede back down the hall.

After scanning every nook and cranny and seeing that there was no escape from the small space, (Y/n) heaved out a morose sigh and flew to a small chair in the corner of the room opposite to the door.

"She's right, y'know... we have to talk about it at some point so why not now?"

Buggy's rampant banging on the wood slats stopped abruptly at her words as he almost growled with a scowl carved on his usually jovial face.

"There's nothing to talk about..."

"Oh really? You really don't think deserting me on a random street after calling me yours warrants a conversation? Or don't think ignoring me every time I even take a single step in your direction deserves an explanation?!"

"I don't owe you an explanation, I'm your captain and what I say or do goes. End of story!"

"Well then stop acting like my captain and act like my friend, Buggy! Just fucking talk to me!" Hollers (Y/n), angrily standing and stomping on the ground.

"See, that right there, that's the problem! I don't just want to be your friend or your stupid captain anymore! I want to be your everything!" Asserts Buggy, pointing a gloved finger in her direction.

Oh...

"Because... well because, I love you, (Y/n), and I want to spend every moment of every day with you..." Buggy admits almost inaudibly, his shoulders slumping in surrender.

...

Oh.

"You... love me?" (Y/n) quietly repeated, the fury in her eyes slowly subsiding.

Realizing he couldn't change the subject anymore, he threw his hat on the ground before leaning on the door and sliding down to sit against the scratchy wood floor.

"Of course I do. Everything you do drives me crazy. From the way you actually laugh at my dumb jokes to way you smile when you're flying above the crowd when we perform, I can't take it anymore! I want to spend every second I can with you and it kills me inside that I can't."

"Who said you can't?" Inquires (Y/n), who tiptoes over and sits down across from the clown pirate.

"You've made it pretty clear that you're not interested. For god's sake, i flirt with you all the time and you never seem to reciprocate any of my attempts."

"I never even knew that's what you were doing!" Scoffs (Y/n) as she throws her hands up in exasperation.

"Really? I thought I was being so obvious!"

"In my defense, you flirt with a lot of people."

"I do?!" Buggy questions incredulously.

(Y/n) laughs in reply, shrugging her shoulders as she nods in confirmation.

"Aw, shit.... I screwed myself over, huh?" Whined Buggy as he squinted with a sheepish look on his face.

(Y/n) then shakes her head and draws Buggy in by his shoulders into a tight hug. For a brief moment, Buggy hesitates but promptly holds her in return, though ever so slightly tighter.

"No, you didn't. I still love you, Bugs."

Buggy's worried face drops and he pulls away from (Y/n) before red begins to bloom all across his painted face.

(Y/n) slaps a hand over her mouth at the shock of what she had just confessed to the man she cared so deeply about.

"What did you just say?..."

"Don't make me repeat it..." (Y/n) implores with her face growing darker as well.

"No, say it again.... Please."

As Buggy's desperate eyes bore into her own, she took a deep breath before grabbing the green-eyed pirate's hands into her own.

She then lifts the both of them from the ground and leads him to stand in the middle of the closet, the only noise being the muffled sound of their hearts beating fast in their chests.

"I love you, Buggy. I have for a long time now. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before..."

"No, I'm sorry, pretty thing... I should have just heard you out back then. Apparently, even the lady I adore more than anything can't save me from being dumb. Can you ever forgive an old sea dog like me?"

"Hmm... sure I can. Under one condition."

"Anything. Just name your price."

"Kiss me?" Requested (Y/n), looking up at him through her lashes.

Buggy chuckled deeply before tugging (Y/n) closer to him and placing a gentle, gloved hand on either side of her face.

"I think that can easily be arranged." He whispered before placing his lips upon hers, careful to not let his nose get in the way.

All the weeks of strain and struggle began to melt away as the kiss grew longer and their passion grew stronger.

As they continued reveling in the time in each others touch, (Y/n)'s wings unfurled themselves from her back and wrapped the two of them in a sort protective blanket, shielding them from any prying eyes and warming both their bodies and hearts.

"Ahem!" A voice calls from the doorway.

Buggy and (Y/n) separate and peek behind her feathers to see Alvida and a whole crowd of pirates standing behind her with amused looks on their faces.

"It's about time!" She grins before the whole crew behind her begins to cheer raucously.

(Y/n) looks up to face Buggy with an ecstatic smile before she leaps into his arms and nuzzles her face into the crook of his neck.

With a grumbling laugh echoing in his chest, Buggy wraps his arms around her and places a soft but sweet kiss upon her forehead.

"I love you, Buggy." Murmurs (Y/n) as her smile grows wider.

"I love you too, angel." Buggy mutters in (Y/n)'s ear, still holding her as they go to celebrate with the crew.

[jaxxsoxxn]

Feel free to ignoring this ( pls don't), so as you're one of the few people that listen to what I have to say about speedsters, here are some of my negative speedster hcs:

People, in fact, don't realise how dengerous, and scary, speedsters really are until its too late.

- almost every one in this condiction suffers from delusions. Like the negative speed force telling Eobard that he is a monster and him beliving that with all his soul (he in fact is) and he can not change, so he must make Barry's life a living hell forever.( For Owen a see him have some mental problems like Jinx from Arcane).

- They commit antropophagy. As you know speedsters need to eat a lot, and having in mind that the negative ones are "crazy" and by nature they have a too strong predator instinct, i just gonna leave this info here....( really want to talk about this, but dont want to sound weird)

- they can mimic other peoples voices. Speaking is basically vibrating the vocal chords, so a speedster can imitate anyone, and remembering the last hc, they can use it as a hunting tecnic. ( just like those criptids or skinwalkers).

- sexual impulses. They can be predators in any meaning of the word, and they have enough intelect to make plans, and at some point they may want to setisfy an urge...( it dosen't mean everyone of them do that, but again, just saying)

-claptomaniacs. They dont steal things for its value, they steal stuff because it looks intresting for them, when they dont want it anymore they just throw it away.( That aplies to humans too, the speedster can kidnap a person, just because they liked something in that person, thats not necesarilly sexual, they can spend hours looking at that person or hearing them talk.)

And thats are the most things that worried me about speedsters, I don't fear them losing their mind and messing up the multiverse, I fear them if they lose their mind and start to hunting people in the woods, and in big ass Citys that dont mind if somebody desapered.

Thanks for reading ❤! Hope you finded that at least a little scary and realistic, I want to become a terror and body horror writer in the future. I know its dosent about your AU but I would like to share it with another Flash fan.

I am a Twane hater first and foremost, so-

Also, Kaliesuriens, henlo :D

But, let's chat about it, in points! But imma use my ver of Owen as the main silly guy--

I imagine Owen would defiantly let the speedforce take over his mind at first, he's obsessive over coming back, even when he's "back". He needs everything to be exactly how he wants it, and negative Speedforce feeds into it - "Yes, you are right. How could it happen? It had no right, you didn't allow it." type of stuff. A child, who is stripped of all the control it could have, would fight for it with nails and teeth.

I do wonder if they'd commit autosarcophagy (autocannibalism). Time for speedsters is a horrid thing, and with Owen? Owen, who was stuck in speedforce and suddenly left, hungry and bitter - too animalistic to care. I mean, he heals so quickly and it hurts only a little, the meat is so fresh, even if the hair sometimes gets annoying. I do imagine he does not care for rawness of meat- And if he finds humans harder to hide, to get in time? Well, the corpses of animals with marks of human nails ripping through their flesh and teeth marks that couldn't be any other animal's? But remember not to touch it- not to move it. Speedsters always come back to their last place of hunt. Obsessive little things.

Owen, now twenty-five, still sounding like the sacred eight years old. Boomer has nightmares of his blood-red eyes and his silhouette leaning above him - so skinny and yet grown. His body so unlike his baby son, yet the same voice calling for his dad, for his papa - "Please, da, what did I do? Why aren't you looking at me?" He wakes up sick to his stomach. Owen, angry how others get their parents, hiding in a forest and hunting one of the rangers, knowing that he has a young daughter. They have everything, her last birthday he took her to Disneyland, while she whined that it's not Disney World - how dare they? How dare she. Only two "dad, help!" and he's exactly where he needs him.

Speedsters, at all, have a strong sexual drive for me - I mean, they do not have to rest at all. Mixed with stronger instincts? Damn. When Owen is home, softer - tamer, it's not that big of a deal. Until Axel comes over with rogues, so loud and eye catching. They both are horrid for each other, but only one of them might end up with scars after their meetings. Pied Piper jokes about being attacked by a feral cat.

I just wanna mention - with Kleptomania, it's qualified under inability to control impulses (the stolen stuff has literally 0 value, some give it away some throw it away) or at least was! But also, I doubt speedsters feel the guilt and anxiety later. But it's still under the "lacking control over impulses" which I believe is common under the Speedster fam tree. I also want to say that even while Boomer's not a speedster/handmade speedster, I can imagine that he has Kleptomania on some lighter lvl. It's just not as common, but when it hits, it hits pretty hard. He usually ends up giving the trinkets or even bigger things to other rogues. They know about his little issue. When he learns that Owen also does so, he worries that it's biological, but Weather Wizard helps him to figure out that it's not actually the same. (biggest thing he took - a chair from the police station, left it in the nearest trash can. He believed back then that he wanted to do it and did it to prove to himself that he can. He learned around a month later that it's really not that.)

So ye, ofc I had to put some stuff about Boomer and Owen (a lot of stuff about Owen), but what can I do :'D

Thing with Speedsters hunting, especially in DC universe, they would blend in with everything. You hunt near Gotham? Few people disappearing a week is the norm, if you're good enough, no-one notices.

Also, they can vibrate through the walls - whatcha gonna do? Creature Owen seems fun, but imma stay with my normal Owen, especially since in his main surviving au it's Digger with the speed and he got his pop's great agility. (gonna @kaliesuriens bc last time it didnt inform ya)

[thebrokencycle]

Part 2

"There is a difference in being alone and being lonely"

I was 22-years-old when I was told that. I am not lonely anymore I am just alone. I have no problem with that because I love my own company. I love hanging with my children, I love dancing in my kitchen while i'm cooking, singing off beat, being me in my peace, in my own world. I've had to endure so much negativity in my life from a young age that the way I copped with it was by simply just running away to be in my own space. Now don't take this as a complaint because it's more of a comng to type of thing. I have very tough skin and I am tough when it comes to a lot of things. People see tears and think she's sad and hurting. Honestly, that is not it with me. My body is finding away to release all things that I am capable of doing to you. I tell you i'm nice. You need money I have it here, you need a place to crash for awhile no problem. Your child needs food, "What's your cash app?" knowing damn sure well I don't have anything but I try not to be that person that's so stand offish and I try to be let people in. It hasn't worked for me because when I don't have at all and you ask and I be straight up and say I don't have it right now. Everyone acts as if I have never said YES to them. That kills me! Then I become all type of names, my character is under attack. Perfect example, I gave my heart to a man that literally played me for a damn fiddle and til this day I still ask myself why the hell did I really feel the need to help him? Another example, I had a whole baby 8 months ago trying to find myself again without really finding myself because I have so much of me invested in everything but me that the simple boundaries that I set just get brushed under the rug. The expectation of all the things I am supposed to do thou are still there. I am still supposed to cater to you while you dont cater or respect me or my wishes. As my daughter says " Make that make sense my guy!" I was taught your supposed to pour into a woman. When yo pour into that woman she gives you all you need and desire, shit and them sum. How are you pouring into someone that disrespects my wishes, smack her on the ass tell her she looks fuckable and say but I tell you everyday I love you and I show you I want you. WHATTTTTTTTTT????????

Me personally that makes me look at you different. It makes me not even want to touch you, sleep with you, nothing. The help meat in me though will still make sure you eat, have a roof over your head when I know deep down in my heart, that same energy wouldn't be given to me. He'll watch me starve and be homeless. Still say but I love you and want you while texting other woman. Right?? I know what you're thinking how complicated can you be. So within the next few days i'm going to make a list and were going to uncomplicate this thing called LIFE. Mines anyway. i'm going to fall back in love with me and find me again.. I'm going to go back into being alone which is not lonely. Just at peace and alone. I was happier. Wish me luck 🍀

[thetriggeredhappy]

yo whats good @engiespyweek this is a day late but like dont worry abt it

day 2: hurt / comfort

(warnings for injury, specifically from burns. takes place around Robots Time)

-

Back before the robots, they were expected to work regular hours. Normal days. Practically a nine-to-five, plus a couple of hours most days, but never too long after sundown—and unless they had a mission off-base, they’d get weekends off. It was the most organized war any of them had ever been a part of, to be honest. And it was taxing, sure, the pain and bloodshed, but at least according to Scout it still beat working in food service.

And it wasn’t even all that scary half the time—before the robots, the team was invincible in most senses of the word. It would take some extremely particular situations to kill them, situations they were rarely anywhere near. A doctor on staff, bars in town and a full liquor cabinet on base, a pay grade that few of them even dreamed of, it was a good place to be in their lives. They considered themselves lucky, most days.

But that was before the robots.

The sun was setting over wherever the hell they were. They were going on their second day here, which was usually about how long they spent in one place before they had to move again, following some fickle change of the wind to intercept the next few waves of automatons.

They were exhausted. They didn’t have breaks, truth be told, and only sometimes got to sleep—mostly on the drive to their next destination, sometimes woken up during the night by the distant metallic clanging that functioned as the trumpets of war. Modern era, and all.

Medic was truly running on his last legs. He half operated his infirmary out of the back of one of the trucks they used to transport their equipment, not seeing reason to bother unpacking most days. Soldier was in a tizzy himself, constantly checking and rechecking their supplies, inventory being the only job left out of the multitude he’d had on base before and therefore being one he did near-constantly, and his consensus seemed to be that they were running low on... well, everything. Raiding abandoned warehouses for ammunition and guns just wasn’t cutting it anymore. They’d started to send some of the mercs out hunting for scrap metal when they had the time, and the Engineer was left to work practically around the clock trying to feed it to dispensers and restock to have at least enough to be prepared for battle, and Heavy tended to take over when he absolutely needed to sleep.

But then there were the mercenaries who didn’t have much to do but sit and stew. Sniper mostly took to perching alone somewhere he could watch for the distant dust clouds kicked up by the tanks. Scout ran laps around the perimeter of wherever they were posted up, and on a couple of occasions the two of them were the only warning the team got before the robots showed up. Pyro fretted, for the most part, would sweep by the busy members of the team with something to eat and a supportive pat on the arm. But even then, it was obvious the rest were going stir-crazy. Wanted to help, to take some of the weight back, to help share the load if they could.

This was about the only way Spy could help.

Engineer was having trouble keeping his eyes open, but the fatigue fought against his need to eat the tin full of... something. Meat, some kind of sauce. Spy had cooked it, since they apparently had a stove squirreled away somewhere in this particular warehouse, rations, and the team needed something ‘real’ to eat by his measure. The Engineer managed to keep awake, keep shoveling food into his mouth. Distantly, he understood that it tasted very good, and it overcame the nausea he’d been increasingly plagued with ever since all of this started.

The food was one comfort. The warm weight of Spy leaned against his back was another, the man leaned against him as he ate. Outside there was a particularly vibrant sunset happening, that was a third one, the way the light poured through the window briefly driving away a sort of bone-deep paranoia about darkness. About fear. Apparently that was one reason his father always tried to work with the big garage door of the shop open—being in the sun from time to time was important for all types of health. Or, as Spy put it, he needed to get out of his terrible little machinery lair from time to time or else one day the team would find he’d begun transforming into some sort of mole man.

It made him laugh. He missed laughing, he realized.

Once he had some food in his system, some calm, some time to sit in a position other than bent over a drafting table—and, hell, maybe the sun helped too—he started feeling remarkably more like a human being, started relaxing in increments. Started noticing little things. Dust mites lingering in the last light up above their heads. Distant talking, the distinctive laugh of Demo, Soldier barking something in reply. The sound of Spy taking a pull from his cigarette, quiet enough that he’d only really hear it this close. Quiet motion, like fiddling almost, which struck him as odd. Spy wasn’t much for fiddling and fidgeting. Broad, sweeping, dramatic gestures, those he did every time he got a good excuse—but not fidgeting. It was enough to draw his head up from where it was hanging, casting eyes back over his shoulder.

Spy wasn’t looking at him, apparently focused. “What’re you up to, there?” he asked, suddenly made aware of how rough his throat was. Probably from the near-constant full-volume shouting followed by stretches of silence he got up to these days.

“Simple first aid,” Spy said entirely too casually. So casually, in fact, that it took the Engineer a few seconds to realize what he’d even said.

“What?” he asked, turning more fully to look at Spy, at which point he blanched.

Spy had shed his jacket and rolled his sleeves up neatly a short way past his elbows and taken off his gloves and watch, and appeared to be almost done cleaning up and bandaging his left arm, having not started yet on the right one. All up and down his visible skin, and in particular across his palms and wrist, there were a series of mild to severe burns, speckles of dark red and black patching up his forearms, and the Engineer could immediately identify them as being electrical burns, not heat ones.

“How the hell did that happen?” he asked, deeply startled.

A huff of a laugh from Spy. “Mon ami, I go onto the battlefield and am expected to attack mechanical men with a metal blade,” he said, a note of amusement in his voice. “Electrocution is par for the course, I’m afraid.”

“You really oughta... find some way around that,” the Engineer said carefully. “Rubber hilt, or...”

“Most often I can only even tell I’ve caused enough damage to take down any given robot when the shock happens,” Spy shrugged. “It is not terribly painful, especially compared to gunfire. They simply begin to stack up after a while.”

A careful nod from the Engineer, even if it didn’t quite sit right with him. “Want me to help treat those?” he asked, nodding at where Spy was clearly having a bit of difficulty with bandaging his wrist one-handed.

“Our medical supplies are being too regularly depleted even besides superfluous healing of minor injuries, and as much as I would appreciate a moment sat beside one of your dispensers, I’m afraid it would not be very much in the spirit of teamwork to accept your offer, Laborer. If the remainder of our dreary little group is not allowed to accost the dispenser unnecessarily, neither am I, oui?” Spy asked, tone light.

That was one thing he’d started to learn about Spy, especially as of late. Lying and stealing were things he was well acquainted with, but never for something he considered important. To get on other people’s nerves, to get information maybe, but not something important on a whim. Getting on everyone’s nerves was a different beast than intentionally sabotaging them.

“Well,” the Engineer said, still not quite feeling right about it all. “If not that, I can at least lend a hand with wrapping those up. I know a thing or two about getting shocked. Ain’t a fun predicament to be in.”

Only a moment’s hesitation before Spy shrugged, turning to face him, and the Engineer picked up the salve and bandaging and set to work.

This was more his element. Practical problems. Practical solutions. None of the overarching dread, the waiting for the next disaster, the not quite knowing what to do with himself in the miliseconds before the next chore, the next job, the next drive. Just wrapping a wound. Just fixing a problem.

Distantly, there was the sound of something clattering, Demo cheering. The sun was now out of view, and he heard the sound of lights buzzing to life across the area. The light was getting low, and cold was starting to settle into place, more than welcome after yet another sweltering desert day. The smell of hot metal and sweat faded with each breeze that passed through, leaving only the smell of chilly night air, fresh and welcome. By the time it got dim enough to start making him squint to see properly, and he started to wonder whether he should just push through or get a light from somewhere, he realized he was done.

But instead of a twitchiness, an itch to find something else, the urge to keep moving and to find the next thing he needed to work on, he just felt satisfied. Clean bandages, neat wrappings. A vast improvement over before. And when he looked up to see how Spy felt about it all, the man was smiling, just a little, just enough to see even in how dim the room was.

“...What’s the smirk about?” he asked, feeling a bit embarrassed, as if he was missing something.

“Nothing,” Spy said easily, “I suppose I’m just glad you seem to be feeling better.”

A pause, during which the Engineer realized Spy was right. The tension was gone, the ache in his head was fading into a simple weight, and the nausea had settled into nothingness, leaving him relaxed, steady. He blinked.

“Apologies if I’ve overstepped my boundaries,” Spy said after a few moments of that stunned silence, searching his face. “It’s just that for the last several weeks you’ve been stomping around with the third most sour expression I’ve ever seen on you, and it seemed as though nobody else was going to bother stepping in any time soon. I thought that perhaps food and fresh air and polite company may remedy things somewhat, and you seemed determined to only interact with us when you deem it productive.”

“You burned yourself just to get me to sit in one place for a while?” he asked, taken aback.

“Oh, no, non, these burns are truly fairly standard by now,” Spy waved off easily, carefully pulling back on his gloves and watch over the bandages, “I simply prefer to tend to them on my own, the majority of the time. Non, simply a convenient excuse to need your help.”

A pause. “Of all the ridiculous things,” he marveled, blinking at Spy.

In the darkness, he could only barely make out the way Spy’s mouth ticked up into a smirk, watching as he rolled his sleeves back down neatly and reached for his suit jacket. “Well, believe it or not, Laborer, I have been known to stoop to such lows as doing what you call ‘ridiculous things’,” he said, doing his jacket up in an easy motion in the same moment that he rose to his feet, “when I find them to be the only way I can possibly break through to ridiculous men.”

He only had time to sputter over the comment for a second before a gloved hand found his chin, tilting his head up just enough for Spy to lay a kiss soundly to either cheek, and only had time to sputter over that for a second before Spy was snickering and cloaking, a puff of smoke in his wake as he disappeared into the increasing night.

His face felt hot, and he felt that restless energy again, but for an entirely different reason than before, because he wasn’t positive, but he was fairly sure cheek kissing was the sort of thing you greeted someone with when you only meant it in a friendly sort of way, and his brain was far too scrambled to remember it properly just then.

Well. Now he had something to think about besides the robots, at least. Damn shame it couldn’t be a nice, neat, practical problem, but despite his best efforts, he really couldn’t find it in him to mind.

Oh, damn it all.

[peterrparrkerr]

Zombie apocalypse au - read on ao3

*-*

Peter doesn't remember life before the virus. He was only five when everyone got sick.

He's seventeen now, and he's never set foot outside of the city. Well, outside of the tower.

There's a curfew -has been since the virus. Those who go into the city for supplies or to work the garden and tend to the livestock have to be inside by five every day.

Peter doesn't have a green thumb, nore does he have a way with animals. And he's got two left hands when it comes to weaponry. So he stays in the tower.

The tower used to be Stark Industries. When the outbreak hit New York, people locked themselves inside, tried to wait it out.

Peter had been with his aunt. She tells him they'd gone to get ice cream and bring some back to his parents.

Aunt May had ran into the closest building -Stark Industries- and had hidden in the basement with Peter. He doesn't remember.

Tony Stark -the owner of Stark Industries- had offered his penthouse to the few who had taken refuge in his building.

After a week, many of the workers left, off to find their families. They never came back.

A month passed, and scouts confirmed the virus had taken over the whole city. Stark tower was the only building the monsters couldn't get to.

So, it became home. Peter grew up running up and down the industrial hallways, playing with the golden retriever one of the hideaways had.

He didnt know anything different. Everyone took care of him, raised him. He was the only kid in the tower.

He might even be the youngest living being in all of New York at this point.

His favorite people to visit and hang out with were Steve and Bucky. They had been walking their new puppy Goldie when the world ended.

They had been married for ten years before. They celebrated their twenty year anniversary a couple years back. Goldie was almost eleven, and didn't like playing as much with Peter -though she still liked to sit with him in the living room when he tinkered with old tech.

Natasha and Clint worked on the ground, so Peter didn't see them much. They could fight a whole swarm of monsters and not get bit. They were the best.

Bruce and Aunt May tended to the garden under their watchful eye. Steve, Bucky and Sam took care of the livestock.

Its strange. The zombies leave animals alone. They only go after people.

Tony, Bucky and Clint go scouting a lot. They run the city, looking for any survivors, or anything the tower could use.

The tower is self-sufficient thanks to Tony's genius. He'd been working on making the entire tower self-sustaining even before the outbreak.

He's only managed to get the top three floors. The rest of the tower has no electricity or running water. That's fine though. Theres not many of them left, and three floors is plenty of space.

The living area is the penthouse. They eat, sleep and breathe there. The second floor down holds all of Tony's old tech, and projects in the works. The third floor down is the weapons and medicine floor.

Peter is on the second floor when the scouting party comes back. He only knows this because of the AI Tony created tells all three floors when people come or go.

Peter sets down his tools and rushes for the staircase. He sails down them and opens the door bodily, nearly falling flat on his face.

"You're back," Peter called, running down the short hallway to the ammunition room. Clint, Bucky and Tony are all unloading their haul and their weapons.

Clint's weapon of choice is a bow and arrow, as well as a long range rifle -he's the eyes, always taking out zombies before they get close enough to spot them.

Bucky is unloading his knives and pistols. Hes best at close combat.

Peter jumps onto the table, watching as Tony checks the magazine of his .9mm, then settle it back into the holster on his thigh.

"How was it," Peter asked, eyeing the two duffle bags on the table, surrounded by magazine clips and disassembled weaponry.

"We made it all the way to the hospital this time," Bucky grinned. Peter's eyes widened. They don't get to the hospital that often, since its clear on the other side of the city, and usually swarming with zombies.

They don't need to go on medical runs much anyway, but Tony likes to keep stocked in case.

"And we hit the motherload," Clint grinned, unzipping one of the bags and revealing canned food from vegetables to soup, the labels all sun bleached and color faded.

"Whoa." Peter reached in, pulling out an old Cambells can, looking at the faded red and white label. He can barely make out the words. "Tomato soup!"

"Thats not all," Bucky hummed. Peter looked up just as Bucky reached into his back pocket.

Peter sets the can down and his eyes widen when Bucky pulls out a deck of cards.

"No way!" Peter leaps off the table, snatching the cards.

"Its a full deck," Bucky grins proudly. Their current deck was a mix of two different cards, and cardboard and plastic pieces they'd drawn the suits and numbers on.

It made it hard to shuffle, and they all knew the suit and number of the makeshift cards. It made for a boring game.

Clint laughed and ruffled Peter's curls before grabbing the food and heading for the penthouse to restock their cupboards.

"Thanks, Bucky," Peter grinned, pulling the cards out of the brand new -but still sun faded- case. He's never seen cards this new before.

"Dont thank me, Tony's the one who spotted them," Bucky said, giving Peter a knowing grin before grabbing the medicine and heading for the medical wing.

Peter blushed, then turned to Tony -who wasn't there. He scowled and looked around in confusion. He didnt notice him leaving.

Peter quickly puts the cards back in the protective box and drops them into his cargo shorts pocket before running out of the room.

After raids, Tony usually likes to spend time with his old tech -projects he'll never be able to complete, in a workshop he'll probably never get rid of.

He finds Tony at one of the work benches, fiddling with something Peter -to this day- can't figure out what it is.

"Hey," Peter said, walking over to him and sitting down on the stool at the end of the bench. Tony glances up and gives a small smile.

"Thanks for the cards," Peter continued, picking at his nails and looking down at his lap. "Bucky said you got them for me."

"You're welcome, kid," Tony hummed, eyes focused on a project he'll never finish. Peter thinks it makes Tony feel better. Makes him feel like he's back to before the virus, when he was making things all the time and helping people.

All he's got now are old robots that break down more often than they run, and dust over most of the place he used to call home.

All Tony has is JARVIS and the others, but Peter sometimes gets the feeling that that sometimes isn't enough for Tony.

The two sit in silence for a while, Tony hard at work, and Peter deep in thought.

"Hey Tony?"

Tony hums.

"Whats it like dating?" Peter says it fast, worried he'll lose his nerve and chicken out. Tony stops his fiddling and looks over, raising an eyebrow.

"Are you asking for dating advice?" Tony asked. Peter can't meat his eyes when he nods and Tony sets his tools down. "Who's the lucky person you're crushing on? Anyone I know?"

"You know everyone I do, Tony," Peter huffs. Tony crosses his arms and smirks, amused. Peter hunches his shoulders.

"Who is it?" Tony asks.

Peter takes a deep breath. He's gotta just come right out and say it. If he doesn't, he'll never do it and then it'll be too late.

"You," he breathes. Its quiet. Peter's hands sweat. This was a bad idea.

"Pete," Tony sighs. Peter manages to look up. Tony looks pained, regretful. Its not the look Peter wanted to see. "I'm too old for you."

"So?" Peter finds himself asking.

"So, you should be dating people your own age."

"Do you know of any other seventeen year olds running around?" Peter asked, waving his hand around dejectedly.

"There's always a chance-"

"Please don't," Peter interrupts. "Please? Its been twelve years. No ones come looking for us, you haven't found anyone during your raids. Its just us."

Tony opens his mouth to speak, but Peter's on a roll now, and he can't stop even if he wanted to.

"And don't say to wait. I've been waiting. For all we know we're the last people on earth not a zombie, and I want- I want to have my first kiss before I'm forty."

"Peter-"

"I want to experience things," Peter continues, steamrolling over Tony. "I want to go outside, and I want to have a boyfriend and I want to have sex-"

"Kid-"

"Please, Tony," Peter said. "I like you, and- and I don't want to experience this with anyone else in the tower, and I don't want to wait for the point one percent chance of someone my age coming along."

"Listen, kid," Tony sighs.

"I'm not a kid anymore, Tony," Peter said, sounding desperate. He looks at Tony with wide eyes, begging for the older man to understand.

Tony -hell, everyone in the tower- had a life before the virus. They got to experience the world. Peter hadnt.

Its all he wanted. He wanted a normal life. A life he was robbed of. He's desperate for it.

Tony doesn't say anything. He looks at Peter, calculating. Peter sees his shoulders begin to slump, and finally he breaks. Peter feels a little giddy at the thought of getting his way, though he remains put.

"No," Tony said on a sigh. "I suppose you're not."

Peter doesn't know whatto say after that. He's made his case, there's nothing more to say.

"Its hard," Tony said after a while. "I still think of you as a kid. I still think you're ten."

Peter chews on his lower lip, head dipped down and shoulders hunched in on themselves.

"So you don't like me back?" He managed to ask, even as his tongue sticks to the roof of his mouth.

"Kid-" he sighs. "Peter."

Tony settles a hand on Peter's shoulder, and Peter looks up at him.

"I like you," he says. Peter feels himself beginning to smile and quickly clamps that down, biting his lip. "God knows this situation isn't ideal. This would've been bordering on illegal, before."

"If you're uncomfortable, I understand," Peter said. Tony shakes his head.

"Thats not what I'm saying, Pete."

Peter didn't know what he was saying then.

"If we're going to try this out, there's gotta be rules," Tony continued. Peter looked back up at him.

"First rule is there's no hiding it. If we're gonna date, everyone knows about it or its not happening."

"Okay," Peter nodded.

"And we're taking this slow," Tony adds. "Like, cold honey slow, got it?"

"Got it," Peter nodded. His smile is getting too wide to hide. Tony's hand squeezes his shoulder.

"Good."

He removes his hand from Peter's shoulder. He gives Peter a small smile back.

"Could- is kissing going too fast?" Peter asks. Tony's smile grows a little, and he shakes his head.

"No, its not too fast."

The older man leans forward and Peter eagerly closes the distance between them.

The kiss is close lipped, and their noses press against each other, but its perfect.

[the-acid-pear]

I did my homework and i did my chores, time to tackle on the third book of this series, Son of Ogre

Chapter 1

Okay but the fuck is Baki planning to do if he stops fighting? That's literally all he has, he's not smart

WOOH THATS A BIT REALISTIC

PREHISTORIC ELEPHANT?!

King just went to have a snack. Also FUCK does that meat look tasty FUCKKK

This baby so cute 🥺

I'm so glad Yuji is doing stupid hilarious shit again it had been a while

Congrats on Baki for that mantis

Chapter 2

Who tf is this kid?

Poor kid lmao, i assume he will meet Baki

Look at my boyyy

HSTSRFAYDF DON'T CALL HIM A MANLET

Imagine Baki actually kills this kid HSJDYSSHCBT

Third comment with a ton of likes is "we do not condone child violence. We do, however, find it hilarious"

Chapter 3

AH SHUT UPPP KIDDO

But i like Baki memeing a round a lil

Chapter 4

🥺🥺 that's so sweet...

HELLOOOO STRYDUM MY GOD YOUR TITS GOT FATTER SIR 😳😳

Yujiro is such a fucking threat to society lmao

I love seeing Baki with his eyes open, he's looking more like his old self

Oh, shadow boxing incoming, alright

Chapter 5

Yuri? 🥺 /j

THE RETURN OF IRON MICHAEL?!

Chapter 6

I love how there's our silly little mains after every cover LUV em <33

Baki just dissociating his ass out and using it on his favor, the king

Why is Baki eating sour prunes aren't those meant to be sweet?

We all salivating

Chapter 7

Love to see there are even more swears there now

I can put my face next to my foot too tho

FAGDRJSEHARD YUJIRO CAN BEAT THE CANCER HOW ICONIC 😍

Also i would LOVE to see Yuji fight an Orca

WHAT?!

I love how everyone in the comments is calling out Rumina for not seeing issue going down to a dark hidden basement with a shirtless man older than him

Chapter 8

"piggy back me" USHSYFLFUDSY

This fight is going to be good

Chapter 9

Imagine Baki dies right here right know against an imaginary mantis lmao

Okay Baki getting damaged makes sense but the WALL?

Baki's dead (GOD IT HAS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I HAVE SAID THAT)

Ffs it's true Baki COULD create himself a stand 😰

Chapter 10

OH FUCK IT'S TRUE

Chapter 11

This fight is so boring i had to take a 6 hour break

Baki just can't win against nature eh

This reminds me of Garland pulling a suplex on that Anaconda

Chapter 12

I can't wait for the main cast to ACTUALLY appear, instead of just, you know, them in the covers

This fight is slow but cool but slow

To fight a mantis you must think like a mantis 😎

Though it's true in this manga you will most likely win if you steal your opponent techniques so

Chapter 13

I MISS IGARI FUCKKK

This is so dumb i luv it

That mantis be swearing lmao

Love it when Baki goes full Yujiro

Chapter 14

TOBA...

Holy fuck do mantis fly?

Secret Chapter?

Is this how Yujiro got born?

Idk girl i would have killed him if i was you

WHAT.

I KNOW THOSE FROGS THEY ARE FROM PUERTO RICO I THINK

I might just be sleepy but this is so confusing

AKSHSKGSKSGSJSG JUST KILL THE BABY IT AINT THAT HARD

Chapter 15

GAIA...

Why is he like this?

Is "he" with us right now?

...gotta admit that IS true...

I love Strydum sksgwhwg

Yujiro really went XD

I don't think my man Arun in the comments is aware how gay what he said is, though maybe I'm wrong

Chapter 16

GOD THESE FUCKING COVERS MAKING ME SO NOSTALGIC, LOOK AT SPEC!

ANIME KENNEDY?!

I can't believe Bush is dead

AN ASIAN BOY HAS JUST KIDNAPPED THE PRESIDENT...

8 of January? My god he's a Capricorn

I'm sorry, what?

LAHQIGWKQFWKSFWIWG 😭😭

I love Baki so much, THIS IS THE KID THAT I MISSED SO MUCH

This explains why Baki was in prison clothes in the anime teaser

Chapter 17

BIG NUMBER

That one mf like 😐

Glad Baki is 18 now at least 😌

Love to see Oliva back

Chapter 18

This page not even bothering to charge the pages anymore

I'm sure there were better ways to go to jail, well, actually, no, but still

Toba used to just chew that off

Baki did that mantis hit you in the head too hard?

I. I watched way too many prison movies and shows. I don't like seeing someone as young and pretty as Baki in such a place. I rlly don't.

Chapter 19

Yanagi baby i miss you...

IRON MICHAEL?!

Mfkhsjsys 😳🥴

Eh got my hopes too high

CHE BAKI PIBE... LA PUTA MADRE NI ACA ME ESCAPO DE MIS COMPATRIOTAS

I hope he swears too i want to see a boludo o pelotudo PLEASE

I mean para pelotudos lo veo a Yujiro todo el tiempo pero igual JSGWKEGWG me pone bien argento ver al Che carajo

Chapter 20

HE SAID BOLUDO SUAHWKWGAKSGSKSGSKGD

I can't take this omfg new fav I'm sorry Doppo but he just said boludo 😭

Pendejo is more used as pibe here but i will let it pass bc idk the lingo in Cuba and he spent some time there so

Why don't i speak like this too ffs? All i do is say eh and call it a day

He's cocky enough to call anybody any age pibe so I'll let that pass too

Por favor no lo hagas che sksgwj

Chapter 21

Che, pibe, it's a good day to die...

Chapter 22

GSHAGSTSG he should have said "no boludo"

I'm falling in love with this boludo myself

That's talented and brutal

OH RIGHT YOU LOSE YOUR BALANCE WHEN YOU DONT HAVE THAT

Chapter 23

Hm that's, cringe

YESSS HE SAID PELOTUDO

OAHWLGWKQFSKSGSJS SIII ROMPELO TODO CHE, ROMPELO TODO POR DECIRTE YANKEE KSGSSJGS

Honestly i too get pissed off when called American or European, though i won't throw shit to Baki, he's some random 18 yo japanese boy, no way he would recognize latinoamerican lingo lmao

King shit Baki boy

Chapter 24

Oh that's why he's called Jun Guevara, that's fair

I like how they are mixing a bit of truth and a bit of lie it's fun at least

Chapter 25

I like how they are drawing nipples now, occasionally

I can't wait for Viêt to complain about propaganda in the comments

OH SHIT

😳 :Y

He's sooo nice 😍

Chapter 26

Only three? You mean the third is... 👁️👁️

HAHA YEAH YUJI-CHAN <3

I can't believe he works for the USA I'm crying and shaking rn

What a progressive manga, the three strongest and most dangerous men and none of them are white 😍

GET HIS ASS BAKI

Chapter 27

Why is this guy sweating sm?

LDYDYSUGFUDT BAKI PLS

I like how the only time Baki was willing to kill a person was when he thought Sikorsky had hurt his girl

Chapter 28

I feel like Ian will die

Man i love how Baki is drawn in this book

Ffs i called it, i have watched way too many prison things to know how shit goes down

I have seen these three before in fanart but I'm curious to see what they can do

Chapter 29

Their faces remind me of Doyle

OH I CANT WAIT TO SEE EM IN THE ANIME

ASSHOLE DON'T CALL ME STUPID 😢💔

I'm gonna struggle to tell em apart but i think I'll manage

Okay I'm not the only one who thinks they look like Doyle, fair

Chapter 30

The mouth vs Yujiro when?

Someone mentioned the have the same vibe as the dudes that worked with Gaia and like 👁️👁️

Chapter 31

Lmao someone in the comments recommended the same thing

These three must be great at sex (sorry)

KSHALDHDKD NEW FAV COMMENT: "go to Japan and look for the word "defeat". That way you won't feel cocky anymore"

Chapter 32

Hehe hello Junnn~

KSHAKDHKWGS

La luna

Chapter 33

LOS TRES...

Okay that's funny, hocico instead of mouth (hocico is used for animal mouths)

I'm so glad i know Spanish

The two things that drive me insane and make me ramble are Doppo's beauty and this stupid argentinian

OSHSKWGSKSG

Chapter 34

Imagine he's doing that illusion thing Dorian did

With his own blood, that's so cool...

Hoho...!

I did that once when i had a terrible nose bleed, didn't go well

Chapter 35

This book is fucking boring NGL

"now that you got no more urine left in you"

AH.

GAHDYR LMAO

Chapter 36

HO THAT TITLE, PLEEEASE I NEED SOMETHING, ANYTHING, TO HAPPEN

HHH he kinda cute...

Oww :(

JDJSJFRGAJ

God piantao is an old word i had never heard it before

AND he took a piss.

LOCO NO SEAS HOMOFÓBICO NINGUNA MINA ACA ES MEJOR QUE ESTE PIBITO TE LO ASEGURO SKSGSKGSJAAGS

Se me cayó un ídolo y yo que le quería dar 😔

ÑSHWQLSGOSGDKW

Let's see if he lied to Baki about just liking eh /j

Chapter 37

I luv Oliva lol

AJSGSKSLAGHS BAKI SNAPPED

I too wonder where the fuck Kozue is

Chapter 38

LSHSLDGSLSGSIEG

He is jealous of what you two have, it's normal, el Che just rejected his love after all ;/

Oliva is a king

OH A HANKERCHIEF I THOUGHT THAT WAS UNDERWEAR SHSGS-

Oh shit Oliva is like 45?! He looked so young

Te fuiste a la mierda, Che, el chabón estaba siendo re bueno con vos

Baki is just dead

Chapter 39

I love how realistic Che's fear is, he's rather smart, though not this time

POOR GUY AJSGSWJW

I didn't realize Che said "what more, it may be a woman!" but to be fair they ARE in jail so

Chapter 40

I'm feeling kinda bad for him ngl

I feel happy for him tho 🥺

Bruh they added one page after the ending of some naked anime girl tf 😐

Chapter 41

These prisoners having fun is kinda sweet

YO INSANE

Bitches be complaining about Maria's looks are just jealous 🥰

Chapter 42

Damn she lorge

He loves fighting naked eh

Only valid person is the one saying Oliva deserves better treatment which tbh true

Chapter 43

Fun fact i wear my jacket like El Che too, unless it's too cold

El che with the hair lose is so cute bro,,,

Something something fingering joke

Sikorski could fold a coin too

I bet the bandana will break

Chapter 44

I would have just fallen on top of him, how is he gonna counter that, eh?

Oh that super fun to know!

Oh the good ol dirty technique, i have seen this one before!

Chapter 45

NOOO MARIA DON'T DO THIS TO HIM

This fight is super cool tho i love these two characters

Chapter 46

They just keep changing the rules i think Itagaki is just flexing at this point

LAAOSFKAGSKAGSKAF???

Baki wants his protagonism back

I'm getting pissed off they keep putting semi naked underaged girls at the end of every chapter 😐

Chapter 47

Bruh just realized, the mouth got so hyped as this new cool villain and they died in their first appearance 😭

His damn bandana...

[honeypirate]

Best Friends

Sugawara x Fem!Reader

unedited 

“Hello” you say softly and the light haired boy in front of you turns around with a smile “oh hello! Can I help you?” You smile at his friendly face “yeah I’m looking for the volleyball gym?” He chuckles “that’s perfect! I’m going there too, I’ll show you the way! Are you looking to be the manager?” You fell in step beside him as you talk and walk, from that day you and Sugawara were practically inseparable. He joined the team and you became a manager with Kiyoko.

꧁꧂

“I can’t believe we’re third years” you say as you sit down next to Suga in the cafeteria, Asahi, Daichi, and Kiyoko there as well. “I feel so old” Asahi says as he takes a bite of his lunch. “We’ve been third years for a few months now,” Kiyoko says, like it’s supposed to not feel bad anymore. “Yeah well, I still feel old” Asahi says and you laugh, you’re all teens still but it feels like you’re reaching the top of the mountain now, where the other side is waiting to show you all your different paths. You didn’t feel ready yet.

Your hands start to mess with the frayed hem of your skirt, your thoughts elsewhere as you stare down at your unopened soda. Suga reaches over, placing his right hand over your hands gently. When you look over at him he just smiles softly, like he knew the train your thoughts were taking and wanted to let you know he was there for you. You smile up at him, he nods once as you reach up to begin eating your lunch. Suga’s hand stayed against your knee, the warmth from his palm sending tingles down your spine.

꧁꧂

Your friendship with Suga was always comfortable, always easy to be with him. The last two years were some of the funnest you’ve ever had because of him and the volleyball team. Even if volleyball hasn’t been easy, it was always fun for you because of Suga and your third year group. you couldnt help but crush hard on him, he was sweet and thoughtful. He truly cared about everyone genuinely and you couldnnt stop the way your heart lights up for him brighter than you’ve ever felt before. He made you feel special even if he was just handing you an extra pencil, it was in his eyes. 

꧁꧂

Suga didn’t start acting more friendly with you until the beginning of third year, or at least that’s when you noticed it. You ran into him in the hallway and he was the one to pull you into a hug, holding you tight against him as he laughed, telling you how much he missed you during the break. He started placing his hand on your lower thigh or right on top of your knee if you sat next to him. it wasnt sexual, wasnt naything really, just a warm soft touch to ground himself and you didn’t mind it. You thought it was sweet but you convinced yourself that it was just friendly, even if you hadn’t had friends treat you like that before. but you couldn’t deny that it was another thing that made you feel special to him.

꧁꧂

“You know he likes you...” Kiyoko said as you studied on the floor of the gym before practice and you laughed “who?” she smirks and you laugh again “you must be mistaken... No one likes me, Ki” Kiyoko gives you a look and you stop laughing “who are you talking about?” You say and swallow hard and she smirks “tell me. Please” you say and clear your throat. She closes her notebook “Who do you think?” She looks right at you and you feel your cheeks flush as one person flashes in your head. No. It couldn’t be him. “Well I’d guess Tanaka or Noya but they seem to be very dedicated to you” she sighs and flicks her hair behind her neck “who has been even more friendly to you this year? Touching your knee, hugging you more,..” your eyes widen and she nods with a smile “Sugawara?” You whisper and she nods again, a smile on her lips.

꧁꧂

“Speak of the devil” Suga says as he walks in the gym, coming and crouching next to you with a smile. “Talking shit about me again, Y/n?” he asks with a chuckle, reaching out and tucking your hair behind your ear. You freeze, your breath catching in your throat as you look at him, wide eyed and confused. “Uhh.. well” you chuckle and try to get your bearings “you know me Suga. always talking” you laugh awkwardly and he laughs while looking at you funny, it isn’t what you do, you’re not a shit talker, and that was a terrible said joke, so flat. He gave a look to Kiyoko that said ‘what’s going on with her?’ Kiyoko smiles as she starts to pack up her things “I just got done tutoring her, she came to some revelations,.. But i suggested she ask you to tutor her since I don’t seem to be helping much”

Suga looks back to you with a wide grin “of course! You’re my best friend, obviously ill help you!” Daichi calls for warm ups and Suga is up and gone, leaving you to clean your things up with Kiyoko “not him. no . you’re wrong. He calls me his best friend. I'm obviously just a friend to him” Kiyoko laughs, sending you a look that says ‘he told me himself’ but she doesn’t say, and you don’t press her, you’d rather just convince yourself you’re right. He’s Suga for crying out loud! you’ve seen his fan girls at school, there’s no way he would choose you out of all those pretty girls.

Kiyoko rolls her eyes, she can tell you dont believe her but she did her job, she told you, it’s not her fault Suga wouldn’t drop the best friends thing, Kiyoko had told him that you were dumb and that you’d think it was a friendzone. But he said no, it’s way to show her i think we’re close. It’s a good thing to be best friends before a relationship. Not Kiyoko’s fault you were a bit clueless and ditzy. But maybe Suga will confess now that he’ll be tutoring you, and if you say you don't need tutoring you’ll be honest with him and he’ll tell you the truth. Either way, not her problem anymore.

꧁꧂

After you finish cleaning up after practice you throw your back pack on your shoulder before heading outside to wait in the cool air for the team to go get some buns. Kiyoko is on the phone a little ways off, facing the other side of the school as you wait near the bottom of the steps for the team. You tapping your toes as you sand just what was going through your head “i’m so hungry i wish these boys would hurry my stomach in a flurry needs some meat buns meat buns meat buns” turning into you doing jump lunges towards Kiyoko while you were chanting meat buns. Before you know it, Noya, Tanaka, Hinata and Suga are standing around you, copying you perfectly as you jump alternating legs forward as you alternate arms up in the air, all chanting “meat buns” as Kiyoko shakes her head with a soft chuckle.

꧁꧂

At the table eating a bun, your talk with Kiyoko was gone from your head, all that resided in your brain was steamed pork buns; nothing else mattered. You look up at Suga when he chuckles next to you and you raise your eyebrows “what’s so funny pretty boy?” you ask and he laughs again “so cute” he whispers and then reaches out, wiping the corner of your mouth with his thumb before popping his thumb in his mouth, licking it off as he turns his attention back to what Daichi was saying.

Your eyes glance in Kiyoko’s direction and she’s just smirking, she saw it all. Her eyes say ‘what did i tell you?’

“When do you want have a study session?” he asks and you swallow hard “i..i..um” you struggle through words, not knowing how to act after that action. You felt so flustered until his hand rested against your knee gently, it was like that cleared your whole head. You take a breath and look back up to his eyes “how about tomorrow after practice, we can stop and get some buns and then go to..”you think of your crazy family “would it be okay if we went to your house?” you cock your head and he chuckles “yeah that’s no problem. Tomorrow after practice, buns and biology” you chuckle and your hand reaches out, attempting to take a hold of his but before you can his hand has moved to pick up a bun, your knee cold from the lack of his warmth now. “It’s a date” you say quietly and your cheeks flush, turning to Asahi on your other side and asking about his hair care, not noticing the way Suga’s ears turned red and the way he looked at you after you called it a date.

꧁꧂(skip the whole next day) ꧁꧂

His room was clean, and even had a candle lit in the window. It smelled nice and was super organized which impressed you, but the smell of lavender bergamot did nothing for your nerves. You felt so anxious! Probably because you didn’t need it but oh well, you didn’t know how to tell him that so you would play along. You stopped by to get some buns, then headed straight for Suga’s, it was easy and comfortable. But now that you are in his room, sitting beside him against his headboard, you feel nervous and your hands are shaking as you scribble new flashcards

 “Do you know why I like this marker?” he asks suddenly, his notes forgotten in front of him. “Why?” you asked as you looked at the black marker he had. He reaches over and takes your hand softly, bringing it over to him and bringing the tip down to your skin “It’s clear for the most part so i can see what i'm doing through it. So i can underline perfectly. Or draw” you pull your left hand back and see a cute heart on the fleshy part beneath your thumb.

“Oh my god” you say and and he looks up at you, worry flashing in is eyes “what?” he asks and you chuckle once before raising your eyebrows “you ARE flirting with me”

he chuckles softly “thanks for noticing” you stare at him with wide eyes for a few moments, in shock that Kiyoko was right and you didn’t believe her. He smiles and bops your nose softly, your eyes flinching before you laughed and held out your hand for his marker which he places against your palm gently.

“How long?” You ask as you reach for his hand, “how long what?” He asks as you thread your fingers through his, your heart racing and fireworks dancing across your skin “how long have you been flirting with me without me noticing?” You bring the marker down to his skin, just across from the heart he drew on you, drawing a matching one. “Since the Date Tech game last year” your head snaps up “that long?!” You groan “I thought you were just being friendly. You kept calling me your best friend” you hold up your hand with the marker and do air quotes with your fingers “I thought that meant you knew about my feelings for you and you were being obvious about friendzoning me” your fingers touch the ink on his skin, checking to see if it was wet still but finding it dry so you squeeze his hand tighter “wait. . .” he whispers and you look up to his eyes again “wait what” he laughs once and raised his eyebrows “your feelings for me?” He asks and you nod “I’ve had a crush on you since that first day when you showed me to the gym. We’ve just always clicked. I thought you knew and just wanted to stay best friends” he squeezes your hand and then pulls you into his chest with his other arm “I’m sorry. If I had known of your feelings I would have done something sooner. And I like truly knowing someone before I get in a relationship so yes you’re my best friend but I want so much more with you” he kisses the top of your head and you pull back, reaching up to bury your hands in his soft hair.

 “I should probably tell you I don’t need a tutor” you whisper and he chuckles, eyes never straying from yours “That was Kiyoko covering for telling me you liked me. I can’t believe I didn’t believe her.” His nose brushes against yours as he raises his hands to rest against your neck “oh! Well, I’m glad we don’t have to study right now then” he says with a chuckle and then his lips brush yours and you gasp softly before smiling and pressing your lips to his, his thumbs brushing across your skin sending electricity down your spine.

꧁꧂

Going to bed that night you noticed the black smudge of a heart on the side of your neck, having rubbed off from his palm, along with several other budding purple marks he left across your skin. you reach up and brush the marks, memories of the night flashing through your mind as you squeal, filled with happiness and excitement as you run back to your bed and bury yourself under the covers, knowing you wont be able to sleep with how active your mind is, too busy reliving the experience to sleep, too busy being excited about seeing your boyfriend the next day. 

[princelestatdelioncourt]

Just Becasue...

//This is a fanfic I wrote long ago but I cant find it on my old account. So I will try to recreate it again. Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The seven son of the Marquis D'Auvergne. I had no rights to the title, no land or money to own after my father passes. But I was good in one thing, Hunting.

I spent hours in our land hunting, away from my father and the chateau. My only moment of happiness and freedom. All I could have trapped in that village, trapped in my won land.

The Villagers called me the Lord becasue I was the only one in my family able to use a pistol, a sword and hunt. Provide for the family. Fix the vineyard, fences...etc. Do whatever was needed to do to have a decent life and not live in ruins. We were poor so to see things like that, left alone and root it even made it worse. I hated it but I did it anyways. But I loved to hunt. I loved to provide for my family. Even if I never received a Thank You in return. I never expected that from them but I wished they did.

I got up very early every morning to go hunting with my dogs, my mare and get a piece of bread of cheese I could find in the old kitchen. Sometimes an apple or an orange. All I had the whole day until returning home and hopefully with whatever I caught that same day.

So hunting was my happiness but it was a monotony. Everyday the same. Get up, hunt, come back home, eat if there was something cooked, to my room, sleep and all over again... boring.

But I had a few things that broke that monotony. I went to mass even if I never believed in God. I just went to do something different. I went to the village and to the tavern to get a glass of wine that sometimes, most of the times I could not afford so I ended up stealing from the back door. And the girls... yes. I bed girls here and there, anywhere. Never cared and I found it funny. Distraction. They were kind to me becasue I was the Lords son but I never really cared or loved any of them. I liked them, yes pretty girls, attraction perhaps but never that heartfelt deep love. I guess. I dont know. I grew up with a family of no affection or love so I never knew what love was. I wasn't unsure if I loved them or liked them or nothing or all and I was just a billygoat never caring of anything.

Spending time with these girls, sometimes the same one for a couple days , sometimes different one everyday or going back to that one that I didn't see in a few ... whatever. I drank so that might influenced the situation s well. The barn, the forest, the back door, the back of the church, the chateau barn, my room...you know, I didn't care if my family saw me with them but it made me alive if they knew. Made me more rebellious. I loved it. My brother Augustin screaming to me I was a lost cause. My father just upset becasue he was always upset with me. My other brother just following Augustin steps. My mother just reading her books in her room, I wonder if she ever heard anything - smiles - but she never came to me about the girls or anything.

But one night things just became a little bit more... exciting.

We were seated on the big dining table, eating broth and big chucks of meat from the deer I caught that same day. My whole family was there. My mother and father each on the end of the table as always. I always seated by my mothers right side. My brothers seated always on my fathers side, on each side, beside them their wives.

I had no one in front f me, it was always like that. Me the outcast. whatever, I did not want to see their faces near me. But I looked to all of them eating that broth and these pieces of meat. Mixed emotions. I hated my brothers and my father yet seeing them eating that meat was good. Then I looked at my brothers wife and realized she was looking at me as well. Well we are family so I thought it was..ok? she didn't say anything, remember this is the 18th century, women belonged to men and they had no power. Like my mother Gabrielle, my brothers wife, she was trapped there.

I continued looking at her and she smiled at me on a shyly way. I wondered what was that about. I didn't thought much about it and i went back to finish my meal. Everyone finished eating. and once again everyone left the room even if I did not finish eating. Whatever.

I ate a piece of deer I had on my plate just listening to the earth, the fireplace was in front of me and I just looked at the flames. Then I heard someone walking in the room. I turned my head, It was my brothers wife. I just looked at her holding the piece of meat in my hands. I wasn't sure why she was there and I really REALLY never wanted anything or anything related to my brother. I did not had an open family relationship with his wife, barely we ever spoke. So yes it was strange she was there now.

"Thank you for the hunt" She said to me in a soft tone. I was surprised about that. It took me a moment to process that and respond with a nod with my head. She looked at the open door making sure no one was around and she came closer to me and leaned forward and she whispered in my ear "you are not like them, you are beautiful" I felt her fine thin fingers on my chin very gently touch. I looked up at her I was surprised to such act. And I have to say I liked it. She was pretty. Pale skin, blond, blue eyes, pink lips, her skin seemed so soft, her cheeks...her breasts...Ok I had to stop myself there. Lestat think! thats your brother's wife. Then a sound came from the door, someone approaching. She moved away from me rapidly. It would be a disaster if someone saw her doing that. And with that means, beatings for her. and for me... i guess just a fight with my brother, nothing out of normal. We fought a lot. My brothers wife left the room. The maid came to clean the table. I was done with my meal. I stood up and left the room.

A few times me and my brothers wife happen to step on each others path. I started to like that game. A few nights later I was in my room, late night. Sleeping. Ive heard the door of my room open. I always had a very light sleep. I looked towards the door. It was my brothers wife. She was only wearing the long white night gown. I only thought: Well....

I looked at her while she approached to the bed and crawled and laid by my side.

"So.. is anything you need?" I said. I smirked. I knew why she was there. I looked at her for a brief moment and smiled. She smiled back and up next I found myself kissing her lips. One soft kiss lead to another and to a more passionate one to end up devouring each others lips. She sat on top of me while still kissing each other like if it was the air we needed to breathe, I took of her night gown. Very nice body she had. I looked at her naked skin sending me more electrifying sensations that now I could not stop.

I made us roll on the bed and now it was me on the charge. I kissed her everywhere, I touched her caressed her, whispered her whatever I had in mind and she giggled and she wrapped her legs around me and her hands holding me tightly her fingers grabbing me hard. I gave her pleasure with my mouth up until she could not handle anymore, I touch it like probably she was never touched before. I kissed every inch of it. And we became one and it was like a blur. I dont even know what I thought. I thought about my brother and what he could have done to her, I thought about her with my brother, I thought about the door of my room to open suddenly and my brother extremely upset on an horrendous face expression on fire to see me with his wife. Look brother this is the way to make love, like it? she loves it. She is happy now.

But the door never opened. We laid on each other arms and I dont even know why all of that happened. She then spoke to me, fingers curled on my hair, I could fall asleep to that. But I listened.

"I have never felt like this before" she said sweetly. I looked at her

"Isnt he a good lover?" I asked

"No" She doubted to continue talking but she did "He....just likes it when he wants it by force."

I completely knew what she was talking about. Again this was the 18th century and women were just to stay home, and marry, cook, clean, obey the husband, stay quiet and have babies. I thought about my mother and these days or nights Ive heard her and my father fight and imaged what happened and surely all 7 children she had was not an act of love.

"He is ... You know I dont like my him" I told her. "but I am happy to know you felt good now." I smiled to her, I knew I was a good lover. "It was very good ....very" then I kissed her. We did it again.

We had a few encounters every now and then, not every night after a long period of time. Secretly in my room after everyone was asleep or in her room when my brother was away or quickly at the barn... anytime the opportunity presented. I think once my mother saw us but she never said anything.

So yes, I bed my brothers wife a few times and no she never with child from me. Thank God! at least not that I am aware of! but no, months have passed after these encounters and she wasn't pregnant so it was all good.

God knows for this Ill go to hell, but how so much excitement and fun was. I deserve the punishment but no one will steal from me all these happy times. My only happy times in a rotten place with no love or nothing but hate and screams and fights, tears and hopes and dreams... I found my own happiness. I'm a brat. I love it. I need action and excitement in my life . I need something to happen if not ill make it happen.

ha!

And the thing is....I always do it with good intentions. To never hurt. To do it with love. What i think is good for people. Lelio makes people smile. Lelio makes people to forget their pains and sadness with his acts. Lelio plays onstage and offstage. I want to be Lelio, I am Lelio, I am Lestat.

[flowapuddle]

Haikyuu x Athletic! FEMALE Reader

okay so enjoy this book and the chapters, please don’t copy or take credit of it - Puddle ❤️

Chapter 1

The Sisters From The States

“Is this where volleyball is held at?” You questioned looking at the building and raising a eyebrow

“I assume yes since the principle told us where to go” You heard Aaliyah mutter under her breathe as she was with her bored face also examining the building

“Well let’s go inside I am pretty sure there has to be volleyball players in their” You say as you approach the metal door and opening it as you both walked into the gym

Once walking inside you see boys practicing volleyball you caught a glimpse of a boy doing a quick attack jump serve almost immediately the ball came zooming towards you as you dodged out of the way almost getting hit in the face with the ball

“Oi!” You shouted after you gained your balance

As the ball meet the ground it bounced off as that was the only thing you can hear, everyone was dead silent eventually

You heard a bit of whispering going on as everyone had their eyes on you making you slightly uneasy as you cleared your thoart a bit

“Is this...where ummm volleyball is held?” You questioned as you looked around the room finally noticing it was all boys practicing and only two girls that looked like mangers on the side

A boy with sliver hair walked forward and smiled gently at you breaking the awkward tension in the room or really in the gym

“Ahh yes this is where volleyball is held though, sadly this is the boys volleyball team and not the girls. We don’t have a girls team anymore” He said as gently as he kept his smile on his face

You tilted your head in confusion slightly “No girls volleyball what do you mean? Their has to be a girls volleyball”You said with frown as you slightly furrowed your eyebrow

“No they were unfortunately they were shutdown a few weeks ago since there wasn’t enough girls that went to try out for them”

“Oh I see...Then why would the principal tell us they had a girls volleyball team..?” You questioned out loud and started to think deep into thought

While you were thinking you failed to notice the boys starting to crowd around you as your sister slightly backed away from them not liking crowds of any sorts

“I am sorry I have never seen you around school before and, you look very familiar” The same boy with sliver hair questioned

“Ah, right..er sorry I didn’t introduce myself I am still new to this whole thing umm my name is Imaah (Y/n)” You said as you looked around the crowd of boys

“And this is my older sister, Imaah Aaliyah”

“Sup” Aaliyah added as she did a lazy peace sign from were she was standing away from the crowd

“We are from the states if you couldn’t tell; we moved here one week ago” You said as you looked at boys as you smiled

“Y-your the AMAAH (Y-Y/N) FROM VOLLEYBALL MONTHLY!!!?” One of the boys yelled out he was taller than you and he had shaved head

You kept smiling as you meekly nodded your head “P-people still read those things...hahaha” you said nervously

“Well yeah any sport player would read that—“ He was cut off by a smaller boy who was a couple inches shorter than you having one piece of blonde stranded tip laying on his forehead

“YOUR ACTUALLY THE FAMOUS IMAAH SISTERS BEING RANKED NUMBER #1 BEST WOMENS ATHLETE” He practically screamed startling you as you nodded

“I guess so yeah” You said with a chuckle

“Wow, this a dream come true” He mumbled before he looked like he was going to dramatically faint with his friend

With all the boys reacting differently it made you slightly kinda nervous in a sense

“Oi” You heard a voice behind you as it was coming from Aaliyah as she was still leaning against the wall with arms crossed

All the boys gushing over well really two boys gushing over you stopped

“My sister needs to be part of a club if I remember correctly, she needs to be part of this volleyball club. Since this is the only sport she is interested in.” She stated bluntly looking at everyone

“Who’s the captain of this team” She asked as each one of the boys all at once stepped away from someone towards the back what assume was the captain making him sweetdropped

“Some kind of team I have” you can only imagine him saying to himself

Aaliyah leaned off the wall and walked towards the person slightly towering him, she was 182.88 cm tall (6’0 ft)

He swallowed nervously as his face turned red not because it was because a pretty girl that was taller than him no no no it because he was nervous as hell

“Let my sister be a manger” Aaliyah said more like a statement and less like a question he nodded

“Of c-course! We will g-gladly expect her!” He said chuckling stepping back a bit to look at her instead of having to look directly up towards her

“Jeez Aaliyah, don’t kill the man....it already looks like he is about to pee his pants” You said mumbling out as sweatdropped

“Why would I kill the man?” Aaliyah questioned out walking away from him as he took in a big breathe of air being able to finally breathe

“Since I am going to be the manger, you have to be the manger also Aaliyah!” You said cheerful catching her off guard as she walked next to you looking down at you with a frown

“No”

(TIME SKIP~~!)

After a couple of hours of being in the gym with the guys and convincing your sister to be manger they introduce themselves to the both of you. Then even wanted to celebrate getting two new manger by getting some meat buns

“Wow, so your telling me in the states they also have junior olympics!!” Hinata said with a smile as you were walking next to him answering his questions as you sister was on the otherside of you

“Yeah they do, it’s pretty fun over there and it’s cool to meet new people and a couple of sport celebrities” You said with a chuckle following the boys infront of you

“Do you do anything besides volleyball?” Hinata questioned keeping his smile as he looked at you

“Yeah I enjoy watching Aaliyah basketball games and help her workout. Other than that I try to keep myself to do things that are sports related” You said as you chuckled

“Amazing, you have to teach me your serving technique!i have seen it a couple of times and try to teach myself but I could never get it down” He said jumping up and down infront of you having a bright atmosphere, he was like a big bright ball of sunshine

“Sure we can start tomorrow” You hummed out as you the volleyball team walked into the convent store

“Sakanoshita market?” Aaliyah hummed out looking around blinking “it looks like a liquor store to me” Aaliyah said in English only you understood making the volleyball boys look at her crazy

As she blinked at them “What?” She questioned

“You spoke another language” Daichi said slightly in awe

“Well we are from the states it’s obvious we speak another language other than Japanese” She said in her stoic voice walking past him and down one of the isles to look at different things

You walked to him patting his shoulder noticing how his awe state went into a glumly type of state

“She’ll warm to everyone eventually give her time” You said with a encouraging smile as he looked at you for a while and nodded his head blushing

“Anyways let’s try out what you call a meatbun I have never had one before neither has Aaliyah” You said encouraging looking at the team

Daichi nodded his head and left you with the group to grab some meatbuns as he had almost chest full of meatbuns and walked towards the counter to pay for them and getting a plastic bag to put them in

He came back with a plastic bag and smiled lifting it up “Alright let’s go” You heard him say as he walked out of the little mini market as everyone followed behind him

Everyone was outside of the shop as he held open the plastic bag smiling looking at Aaliyah and you

“Go ahead grab the first one!” He said with a warm smile as he let Aaliyah and you grab a meat-bun first

You grabbed the item as you opened it and bite down into it as your eyes went big and chewed on it “Oh wow so delicious! You have to take a bite of it Aayliah!” You said eating the meat-bun as savoring the flavor

“umm...” Aaliyah said a bit hesitantly looking at the food item

“Don’t be nervous try it!” You said encouraging her as you kept eating yours almost finish with it

“I don’t know” Aaliyah mumbled out slightly still contemplating the idea of eating it

The meatbun was snatched from her hand as Sugawara smiled at her “Say ah” He said sweetly with his eyes shut

Aaliyah blinked at him and furrowed her eyebrows she stared at item as you along with the team watched the 3rd year feed Aaliyah her with curiosity

“Ahh” She said quietly as he placed the meat-bun in her mouth letting her take a bite of

Almost immediately you can tell she liked it as her eyes pupils grew a bit in size and her face soften and her body instantly became more relaxed as she kept chewing

You smiled at the two but the moment was ruined completely

“AALIYAH LET ME FEED YOU MY MEAT-BUN TOO!!!” both Tanka and Nishinoya yelled very very loudly

Making Aaliyah snap out of her calm and dazed state as she visible became more tense as her pupils sharpened and her bored facial expression came back onto her face

She grabbed the meat-bun from Sugawara hand and glaring the three boys “I know how to eat on my own” She said trying to keep her glare as a visible pink blush was on her deep umber brown skin as she looked away from everyone eating the rest of the meatbun

You smiled at Sugawara giving him a thumbs up and eventually looked down at your risk watch looking at the time

“I think Aaliyah and I should start—“

Before finishing your sentence there was a man with blonde hair pushed back by a black stringy headband as he held a mop in his hand and a cirgreet in his mouth yelling

“DONT CAUSE A COMMITION OUTSIDE MY STORE OR ELSE I WILL BEAT EACH ONE OF YOU WITH THIS MOP AGAIN” He yelled obviously pissed

“Again...?” You said questioning outloud

“First time is when Tanka and Hinata fighting over the last meat-bun...” Daichi said with a sweatdrop

“Sorry coach” Daichi mumbled quietly as volleyball group of boys began walking away from the shop at a very fast pace before getting hit in the head with mop

Everyone walked the same way for a while having conversation with either you or your sister as everyone slowly started to break off when they would get to their stop

“We can walk you home if you like” Said Daichi with Sugawara and Nishinoya the only three boys left

“We don’t want to trouble you with walking us, besides you don’t have too it’s just one block ahead” You said with a nervous smile

“Ah none of us mind plus we are only doing are job as both of your senpais!” Noya said with his hand on his hips smiling pointing at himself

Aaliyah furrowed her eyebrow visibly confused “How are you any of you my so called senpai? When I am about to turn 18?” She said questioned raising her eyebrow looking at all three of them “the only one that should be calling you senpai is literally my sister” She said pointing at you the two still continued to walk

The three boys were quiet for a second before

“YOUR ABOUT TO TURN 18?!” They all yelled in unison

Aaliyah winced at the loud noise frowning

“Shut up your voices” She said bluntly, glaring at the three before walking to the what seemed like a gate and typing in some numbers on a keypad

The gate was steel black with the word “I” in a fancy font in the center of the gate showing what the boys only assumed to be your residences

They boys stared in awe never seeing something like this before

“Woah, I didn’t think your house would be on a hill I have never seen something like this before” Daichi said in a amazement

“Yeah, due to both of our parents and who they are we can afford something like this!” You said smiling looking up to the house on the hill

“Cool!” Noya said staring in amazement

“Wow, I wonder how I can only imagine how big it is on the inside” Sugawara said out loud as the gate opened up

Allowing Aaliyah and you access inside the gated estate

“Maybe next time the volleyball team can come over, and we can have dinner at my place! My parents wouldn’t mind I am sure” You said walking past the gate inside

You kept walking to catch up with Aaliyah being a couple steps behind her as you turned around smiling at the boys waving one of your arms

“BYE SENPAIS SEE YOU TOMORROW AT SCHOOL!!!” You shouted smiling happy

You saw them clutch there shirts were their hearts were at as they were visable heart struck in a good way

You eventually caught up to Aaliyah as you smiled up to her she looked down at you with a visable bored face as she ruffled your hair like always

You two walked up the hill as you got inside and mostly you told your parents about everything that happened today making them have a smile

“You knew moving out of the country would be so fun” You thought before you fell asleep

END👩🏾‍🦯✨

——————————————————————————

A/n: Just to clear up a few things

( this is what the house mansion looks like from the back of it, this is we’re you live, yes your rich)

(This is what the front of the house looks like but without the steam coming from the water)

( this is the gate that opened in case you couldn’t picture it, but instead of a B there is a I on since it’s your last name)

(This is what your sister looks like she is the one on the right, yes your sister is POC don’t worry about the girl next to her that’s just another one of my OC’s that won’t be included in the story)

(Also let me clarify, you play volleyball and Aaliyah plays basketball)

Thanks for reading see you in the next chapter - Puddle ❤️

Chapter 2 is here !!!

Chapter Story Board

[thirsthourdemon]

What makes ‘us’ us.

Includes: Tendou x reader, platonic!shiratorizawa x reader

Genre: Monster!Au, fluff, angst if you want it to be, smut

Warning: Discrimination, sexual acts, mentioning of sexual scenes, mentions of prostitution, violence

Summary: When a mysterious girl appears before the shiratorizawa vbc claiming to be a monster it almost sounds like bullshit but as weird as it sounds they really were taking in a whole new member that seems out of the ordinary.

A/N: This was something I’ve wanted to try for a while. I love monsters btw HAHAHAHA If ya’ll haven’t noticed yet. Beasts, monsters, aliens. I love em. They’re just so cool! Anyways...Please enjoy because I cried a few times to finish this 😔

“King?” You stare blankly at the tall olive haired male. He appeared to be a king of some sort. His presence was so authoritative and commanding that it would be weird for him not to be a king. “Wakatoshi-kun? Who’s this~ oh ho ho~” The red haired monster??? It appears to be an Akao. A rare sight for an akao to talk to a human but you knew that you should take any chance you get. The red monster...Seemed to approach the human king??? They both stared at your shivering almost naked body. “I dont know. I just saw her beside the locker room” olive haired person responded, trying to stand up you walked up to the one with ruby hair. “A-a...re? Y...you...like me?” You tried reaching your hand out to him. However once your hand has collided with his skin your body had quickly shifted back to your original form. Big pointed ears, three eyes, ridiculously long hair with light peach like skin. They were both shocked and took a step back. “Huh?! I cant glow like that and get wings, right wakatoshi-kun?” The ‘wakatoshi’ king nodded and confused you cocked your head to the side.

“Y-you’re a monster! Like me!” You point out to the ruby head. “That’s enough” the ‘wakatoshi’ spoke up ,though the tone of his very much like a king to his subjects, and due to the fright you immediately turned back to your old ‘human’ like form. “What are you? Who are you and why have you come here? Answer us” his commanding voice made you fearful so quickly you provided the answers to his questions.

“I-Im...a...momoshi. A peach angel in the english language. We’re monsters and we are drawn to mate with other monsters called Akao. A red king. Y-You had a red king here so I...” You stare at the ruby boy again.

“A-a monster? Like in manga???” The suspected Akao speaks beside the human king. You couldn’t wait any longer! You had to get his seed before time run out. Even if you had to beg for it. “Oh great akao! Please! Please mate with me! My time will run out soon! I need to bear your seed!” “Haaa?!” He was confused as he looked back to the human king.

Oh of course! The human king was keeping the Akao! You had to ask permission first! “Magnificent human king! Please allow me to mate with your Akao! I promise to return him once I am filled with his seed!” Exclaiming excitedly. You were sure that he would agree however he was only showing you the human facial expression of confusion. The sound of human foot steps draw near, all you could do was hide behind the red king. “T-tendou-san, who is behind you?” Another tall human appears with a few others. One you’ve noticed seemed to be a prince?

“Prince tomu?” You came out of your hiding spot, barely clothed except a sheer piece of cloth to cover your south. “Oh~ Tsutomu! You know her?” The humans looked at him with anticipation for his answer however it seems like everyone was even more startled with you had quickly kissed the ‘prince’ with such minimal clothing on.

“I-I umm...I...I dont! I...ughhh...” The prince was almost as red as the akao’s hair but you did not understand that. Normally the princes and kings greeted that way?

Everyone was left with confusion, little to no answers, a very red tsutomu, a naked girl that was supposed to be a “monster” and boners from seeing the beautiful being who appeared out of no where.

—————————-

A few days of being taken in by the “Volleyball” team of shiratorizawa, and you had grown attacked to the ‘human king’ ushijima-san and your hoping-to-be red king mate tendou-san though he did offer the nickname tori you didnt want to seem rude to a red king. Tendou and everyone else in their “Volleyball” team kept on explaining to you that tendou was human but you knew an akao when you saw one. You were not easily fooled. Despite your ignorance to the information satori decided to let you stay with him at their dorm until you’re ready to go.

Letting you stay was just a step though. Their curiosity was so strong that subtly they had decided to study you.

Slowly enough they learned more about you through your movements.

You were really soft and you emitted a peach-summer scent whenever your body thought it was necessary. For example, you being all alone with tendou. This scent however was also an aphrodisiac as it was mostly emitted during mating but considering these people were more or less humans they didn’t really feel the way the air would seem warmer in these instances.

“Y/N” you cocked your head as tendou looked at you straight in the eye. “That’s your name for now. Y/N.” His highness said all the while they were getting ready to go to school.

They weren’t really surprised at your little habits anymore though.

You kissing them on their way out was still weird but

you had to explain to them that it was mandatory to greet kings that way! Them not wanting to offend you they just offered to be kissed like a peck instead. As you pecked both of them out carefully you took off the ‘clothes’ they lent you. It wasn’t exactly uncomfortable here...

The beds were a bit tight due to you sleeping beside tendou.

The food was always ‘cooked’? What was ‘cooked’? Apparently it was putting the food on fire? It was such a weird concept. Why would you do that to fresh meat?! Meat is best eaten fresh in your opinion. You didn’t really like this place all that much due to how strange it was but you had to mate with that strange red king! Morphing into your natural form you start picking at your wings. Made of pure energy and hard like platinum. What time would they come back this time?

————————-

Waiting for them felt like forever, honestly. Closing your eyes and curling up on the floor you felt your forms glitch between each other.

Soon...if you didn’t mate thats all you would ever be...a defective. A glitch. A virus. The village would never take you back like that and this human world would only leave you to rot.

Momoshis were never appreciated in this world. Only used for the pleasures of man.

“I...have to...be worthy to s-sta...y...alive...” sleep talking tendou was figuring how to pick you up, your form was glitching. He’d seen in before but he would always be there to take care of it though. “You are worthy, Y/N...”

The ruby haired boy knew exactly what it felt like to be a monster too. Growing up almost everyone would regard him as one. The constant struggle of being so strong yet so weak everyday. Taking the perfect moment to kiss your lips to wake you up so you could transfer to the bed. He just whispered you some instructions and went to the bathroom to freshen himself up.

What he didnt expect when he came back was for you to be in your original form, teary eyed, wings drooping, your peach scent oozing from behind you and your trembling legs. “My king...please...” you pleaded feeling your instincts eat up all sense of rational thought you had.

Begging and grovelling. Your eyes turn into a certain shade of pink while your flustered cheeks inch towards the beautiful akao. “I-im...al...ready prepared...” quick to show your bare back and almost.

Key word: Almost. Almost showing him your dripping wet sex.

Foiling your plans however was credited to the human king, himself. He only stared and went straight to the bathroom. “Ehem~ Y/N, lets get you back on your feet yeah? You even took off your clothes again.” “I...I...just... need to be worthy please...” those cold teardrops travel down your pretty cheeks. Your sobs could be heard throughout the whole room and only a had to your back rubbing circles were used to make you feel safer.

“You are worthy. You’re a monster, thats easy for you. I was called a monster when I didn’t want to...” he pauses when you lift up your head, slowly morphing back to your human form.

“Humans are scarier” you tried to laugh through your nervousness.

“We are, aren’t we? But monsters are only monsters because we couldn’t understand you...Monsters aren’t all that scary once you get to know them, no?~” he looks at you with the same warmth he had the moment he asked if he could take you in. The same warmth that you feel whenever you fell asleep beside him. The same warmth when he talked to his friends.

“Platinum like wings, weird facial features, left handedness...those are what makes ‘us’ Us, Y/N” Ushijima butts in. Your eyelids heavy and body tired. They both hoist you up with their arms making sure to handle with care. As you lay on satori’s bed the two exchanged a look.

We have to protect them.

Taglist: @janellion @my-mass-hysteria @anianimol

[thequeendesi]

Title: Never Forget It

Alt Title: You mean me?

Warnings: Vaguely mentioning reader's been assulted before

Pairings: Scott Reed x Reader

AU: N/A

Disclaimer: i dont own you or the 13 Reasons Why franchise, i do own the writing.

Rating: PG-13

..

You sighed, your hand flat on the door. Your mother suggested the group to you. A support group, though you couldn't help but still feel like you weren't victim enough.

"You going in?" You snapped out of your thoughts as you made eye contact with brown ones. "Oh.. hi." You moved out of her way. "I'm scared too." You let out a soft laugh.

"I was my first meeting too. You want me to walk in with you?" Tears threatened to spill as you nodded. The girl reached out her hand as you took it.

The room smelled like vanilla and pop. A few girls had already sat down and made small talk. "Jess! Nice to see you again." The older woman said who sat at the north of the circle.

You bit at your lip nervously as you sat next to Jess, your denim purse in your lap, your ankles crossed.

You watched as Jess conversed with the other girls, smiling happily. "Will you be going to Liberty High?" A girl sat next to you. "I'll be starting the week after your guy's first week."

"My name is Nina."

"(Y/N)."

"What grade are you in?" She asked, trying to make conversation with you. "Senior." You rubbed your shoulder. "I'm taking extra classes so i can graduate earlier."

"That must be a lot work." Nina smiled at you.

Honestly, you could feel your nervousness leave your body.

…

You listened to everyone talk about how they were coping.

"Now would anyone else like to share… new girl?" The woman looked at you. "Can… can i stay sitting down?" You fidgeted with your thumbs.

"Of course, as long as your comfortable."

"Oh.. alright, um.. My name is (Y/N), I'm 17, turning 18 (Y/BD), my favorite color (color), and I moved here a week or so ago." You cleared your throat. "I don't know what else to say."

"And that is perfectly fine. You're doing just fine (Y/N)." Everyone began to chime in, telling you it was fine and you're doing well.

..

You sigh, and rub your knuckles as someone approached you over at the snack table. "I think you're really brave for coming here."

You turned around, "thank you. Justin, right?" You tucked some hair behind your ear. "Oh yea." He laughed a little.

"So, where'd you come from?" He asked, grabbing a red cup of Sprite. "Dothan." You said, looking over at his confused expression. "Alabama." You chuckled nervously, you hadn't really been that close to another person since..

"Have you gone too our towns movie theater yet? Me and Jess we're going to go see that new comedy."

"Oh are you and Jess..?" You asked, looking over at the caramel skinned girl, who, surprisingly, thrown a thumbs up at you.

"Yea. She thought you might need some friends who.. get it."

That's all you needed, honestly, you felt alone and wanted friends who understood.

..

Soon, you were included into Jess and Justin's friend group. Upon that, you met Zach Dempsey, Tyler Down, Clay Jensen, Tony Padilla, Alex Standall, Sheri Holland, Courtney Crimson, Scott Reed and Sheri Holland. They'd allow you at the table at Monet's, you definitely had a strict 'no-touching-me' rule. Which everyone ahered too.

"Did anyone do any of the math homework last night?" Zach asked, sitting down in his usual spot. "I did." You said. "Do you all need it?" You asked, looking up from your other classes' homework.

You ended up discarded your wants to graduate early. The high school experience seemed to suit you.

Your friends nodded, making you give a soft laugh and get the paper out of your binder, putting it on the middle of the table.

You looked over to the other side of the table. "So, (Y/N), got any plans for the weekend?" Alex asked you, prompting you to shake your head.

"Want to go see that new movie with me and Zach?" Alex rose an eyebrow.

Zach and Alex had been dating for a few weeks. "I wouldn't want to intrude." You laughed a little.

"I, honestly, just wanted to stay home this weekend, watch both Zombielands, eat pizza and just… just chill." You messed with your knuckles. "Not to say that I don't really like hanging with you guys, but I just want a weekend in." You dont say love, you haven't in months, not since him. "Calm down (N/N)... you don't have to explain shit to us." Tony who sat next to you, moved to nudge you, but stopped before you could notice.

"I know a pretty good pizza place. I could bring one over." Scott said, looking over at you, holding a mug in his hand. "That sounds... nice. Thank you."

..

You sighed, you wore a pair of grey baggy sweats and a Repzion hoodie, two sizes too big. You sat on the couch, legs crossed. Commercials started as you checked your phone for the time.

A knock at the door made you jump up and walk over to it, looking through the peephole. "I bring gifts." Scott smiled, holding up 2 boxes of pizza and a bottle of Sprite.

You unlocked the door letting him in. "Welcome to my humble adobe." You watched as he found his way to the kicthen with ease. "Wow… you really know this house."

"I actually lived here as a kid, then moved to my current house 8 years ago." Scott said. "I got plain cheese and a pepperoni meat pizza." You walked behind him. "And in case you had an allergy or something, gluten-free."

"Well, don't just stand around," he laughed. "Grab a slice." You nodded, grabbing a (pizza) slice. "So, what made you come here?" He asked as you both ate a slice of pizza.

"I don't like talking about it." You said, discarding the crust. "I can respect that." You nodded. "Do.. you want to stay?" You looked at him. "Watch the movie with me?"

"Are you comfortable with that?" He asked.

You paused, before nodding. "Yea. I am."

..

You ended up asleep, your head on the side of his chest. Your breaths were slow, calm, anxiousless. Scott hasn't even noticed, his arm was draped over your shoulder.

Your parents ended up coming home at around 11pm at night. This wasn't the first time Scott had been over, however it was the first time with out Jess, or any one else for that matter. Scott came over loads of times in the few months you has began hanging out with the group and your parents quite liked him, kind, respectful, 'a good pickle' as your dad said.

They nodded to him as they put the pizzas in the fridge along with the soda. "You get sleep soon Scott." Your mother said too him as she went down the hall to her bedroom with your father, closing the door behind them.

Scott sighed as he turned his head to the TV, watching the remainder of the movie.

..

Morning came and assuming Scott left you let out a disappointed sigh, sitting up you pushed your hair from your face and stretched.

"Good morning sunshine." Scott said before handing you a biscut and a cup of coffee he had gotten at the local breakfast place. "Oh, good morning." He had went into the kitchen, placing down two other coffees and biscuts on the counter before drinking his own walking back over too you.

"How'd you sleep?" He asked sitting next to you on the couch.

"I slept… fine." You said, even shocked yourself at the end part. "Well, I gotta start getting back to the house." He said before reaching his hand out. "Goodbye handshake?" He asked. "I know you don't exactly like touching, but what's a handshake got to hurt?" He asked, smiling softly. It make your stomach flutter as you grabbed his hand, shaking it.

"Come back another time?" You asked, a tinge of hope in the question.

"Maybe Saturday's can be our movie night." Scott smiled before taking his hand back.

"Maybe." You smiled a little.

..

And so it did, just about every Saturday, you two would watch a movie, eat a box of pizza, drink a liter of soda, fall asleep, Sunday, Scott would bring you and your family breakfast and a coffee for each and then leave around midday.

This went on for an entire school year, and in that school year, Scott had immense joy watching you change into someone new.

You were still socially awkward and wary of new people, but it wasn't as bad as it was when you first got here. You didnt wear as many hoodies anymore either, it was upgraded to teeshirts and jackets, his jacket sometimes.

There was no doubt about it. Your best friends definitely went Jess, Scott and Tyler.

"So... plan on telling me the details with Reed?" Justin teased. "(N/N) definitely has a crush." Jessica teased. "Even if I did?" You rose an eyebrow, sitting at the lunch table. "Why dont you ask him out?"

"I don't want to mess anything up with him." You sighed. "With who?" Scott asked, sitting next to you. "My dog! Uh, we're training professionally." You said, making a quick excuse up.

"You don't even have a dog." Scott rose an eyebrow.

"We're getting a Dobbie." You said. "Oh, cool. So what's gonna be the movie for tomorrow night?" He asked, eating a french fry. "I was thinking The Grudge? In theaters?" You asked, looking up at him.

"Oh dude, that's sick. Hell yea. Let's definitely do it."

You heard Jessica snort a little, she could obviously tell your attempt of asking Scott out on a date was, to say the least, failing.

"What are we gonna do for food though?" Scott asked. "I got paid yesterday.. we could go out for dinner too." You paused. "Finally could actually go to that pizza place you talk about." You looked at him.

"Oh, uh, sure." He laughed a little.

"Pizza and a movie? Don't you guys do that every weekend? Switch it up a little. There's a new restaurant opened next to the theater, just gotta go next door." Jess winked at you two.

"What kind of restaurant?" Scott asked, his hands in his pocket.

"Hibachi."

"Hibachi next to a theater… sounds sanitary." You laughed a little bit, causing your friends to look at you. "Hibachi sounds fine." You cleared your throat, shoving your hands in your pocket.

..

You sighed, looking at yourself in the mirror. You couldn't even remember the last time you wore makeup, you wore a smokey eyeshadow look and black lipstick. "Why not do something different?" You asked yourself outloud.

"(N/N)?" Your mom walked into your room, her eyes welling with tears as she saw you looking at yourself in the mirror, a smile on your face. "It seems so long since you've smiled at yourself." She walked over to you.

"Is he here yet?" You asked, rubbing your arm. "Living room." She smiled at you. "No later than 2."

"Alright mom." You said, walking towards the living room, messing with the scrunchie on your wrist. "Hey Scott." You said, making him stand and face you. "Oh wow." He chuckled, looking up at you.

"Ready to go?" You asked, grabbing your wallet.

..

You laughed as you leaned back in your chair. "You didn't!"

"Oh, but I did." He smiled, obviously beeming with pride. "All I've done is talk about me. Why don't you ever wanna talk about you?" He asked, putting a forkful of his food in his mouth.

"I'm not very interesting." You laughed a little.

"C'mon. Tell me something from your past." He grinned.

"Hm.. When I was 13 I dyed my whole head green because I was watching some anime and I wanted to look just like the main character." You chuckled a little at the memory.

"Have you ever gotten into a physical fight?" He asked. "A few times." You looked up at him.

"I didn't expect that from you." He joked.

"I was a pretty scary person at my old school." You paused. "Was the the all mighty 'goddess' there. No one really fucked with me… but it uh.. it changed because..." you trailed off, staring at Scott's hand.

"Hey, if you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. Don't stress it." He held your hand.

"Thank you." You whispered. "Ever had a boyfriend before?" He asked.

"Not really." You looked up at him.

"Is there someone you want? 'Cause I could hook y'all up, just say the name."

"Scott."

"Scott Shellings, Scott Quinn, Scott Brown?"

"Scott… Reed."

"We don't have a Scott Reed… oh… oh… oh! You mean me?" He asked, smiling a little.

"Nevermind, it's stupid, I should've figured you didn't like me like that."

"Hey, stop." He squeezed your hand a little. "I… figured it was the other way around." He chuckled.

"What?" You picked your head up, looking at him. "I've... I like you. You're sweet and funny and kind and… you're my best friend." He chuckled.

"You don't have to lie to me." You looked down. "Have I before?" You looked back up at him after he asked that question. "No."

"Do you think I am now?"

"No..."

"Do you think I will ever?"

"No Scott." You said.

"One more question, how would you feel about being mine?"

"I feel… okay with that." You smiled at him.

"Just ok?" He chuckled, kissing the knuckles of your hand. "I'm not gonna say I love you just yet. But when I do, you'll never forget it." He grinned.

"I'll never forget this night."

[jenna-jayde-the-renagade]

So my life has gone to shit.. I dont trust anybody anymore, and honest to god I cant help but keep thinking of ways to end it. My mom keeps telling me how to feel about this whole thing, that I should be grateful that i got in finally to see a specialist. Reality is I dont even trust those subhuman animals anymore, and frankly they're gonna have to earn my trust. After 4 fucking years, my life, my future being ruined. My mental health going downhill, all for the second time now. Add on to that, I dont get any meds for the pain so this has pushed me into addiction now for a second time. I've been dehumanized and humiliated, treated with nothing but the utmost disrespect while being stigmatized for being mentally ill, transgender and a recovering addict for most of it. They ignored me for 4 years, my body is damaged, and frankly help just might have came too little too late. I wont just suffer through the next one, the next time this happens I'm gonna end my life, my suffering on my own god damn terms. Atleast I still have control over that..

Fuck the canadian healthcare system. Some days I honestly just want to start selling drugs, and fly to a country where I can just pay to play and get the best care in the god damn world. Cause 4 years now I've been telling them to refer me to a specialist, I've been telling them that it's probably crohns or some other GI issue. They need to do a colonoscopy and a scope to find it, so that's what I would ask for. I would never get it, so i more or less gave up on the healthcare system. They would leave me on the floor thrashing in pain for hours. Treating me like a drug addict in withdrawal when I didnt even have any opioids in my system. I would be lucky if I got an IV for fluids, and even more lucky if they pumped me full of a bunch of over the counter drugs and others that didnt work like gravol, tauridol, buscopan, zofran, and haliperidol. I would tell them each time, that this was the hundredth time they tried gravol, and it doesnt help people when they're screaming in pain. They treat the nausea. Its bullshit because I am in so much pain that its making me nauseous and until they get rid of the pain, the vomiting is just gonna continue. They always treat me like I'm full of shit, and when I turn out to be right and continue puking, thrashing and screaming in pain, they just get angry at the fact they were wrong. Our doctors and nurses are a bunch of sociopathic, apathetic adult children who in my experience take pleasure in watching you suffer. The worse I get the more they smile. They are so stupid, blind almost because if their stupid fucking machine says I'm ok then I guess it's all in my head. They only think that theres nothing wrong with me because theyve only ever done a blood test or an xray. Never ever once have they done a single test that would have found the issue, crohns cant be found just on a blood test. The emergency room doctors think it can be, my family doctor and everybody else I've talked to says otherwise.

On January 1st I was having another flare up, and they shoved me in the psych observation room because they genuinely didnt want to deal with me. They ignore me, and I keep going in because I want help. I dont want to end up relapsing again cause I cant take the god damn pain! But nope, I get treated like a crazy person now.. they did it against my will. And they even tried to take my phone and my keys. I was puking constantly, I needed water to keep hydrated and they left me for 4 hours, locked in, no meds, no help or nothing. So I just cracked.. I had nothing to barf in, to wipe my nose with, or to wipe the cold sweat off me. So I puked in every corner of that room, I puked beside the bed especially because a mop wouldnt fit in there. I pissed in the corner, I would hack up some phlegm and spit it all over the floors and walls, I blew snot rockets on every surface too! After a while some nurse came in and gave me a barf bag. I threw it on the floor and just continued to puke over every hard surface in the place. I was puking every 5 seconds I swear, and the doctor finally came in at 3 hours and 15 minutes. At 3.5 hrs they give me two pills. I straight up tell them there is no point in even taking them. I couldnt even keep water down and these people are stupid enough to make me take pills? Come on. You need to hold it in for atleast an hour to see even the most minimal affects. I was puking every 5 seconds, to the point that I puked before I took the pills, and I puked them out the moment after I swallowed. They had given me a fucking gravol tab, and some Ativan, the latter of which I couldnt even hold under my tongue long enough. I barfed it onto the floor when it was half dissolved. They come back with this clear liquid shit in a shot glass. I swallowed it right after I puked. The liquid burned my insides, and i puked that shit out even quicker. I asked them to give me IV medications for that exact reason, I always ask for IV medications cause its literally a waste of your time and mine to just pump me full of pills when I can't keep them down and they hurt my tummy as they dissolve. They tell me to just "breathe deeply and relax" and to "just try jayden, you gotta try", so then I try, and when they end up being wrong, and I can't take shit. They end up saying that I'm manipulating, that I'm drug seeking or I'm not trying hard enough to make it work. Absolute bullshit, over the course of 4 years I have quite literally told them what to do. I have multiple family members with this disease, and my grandmother was ignored like this too. She told me to ask them for a colonoscopy and a scope, and to ask them to treat the pain, not the nausea cause the pain literally causes the nausea. The sooner the pain is gone the sooner I can be normal and tell them what's going on. Instead I'm left to suffer in the worst pain a human being can feel. I get treated like shit and told it's all in my head. I gave up on getting a diagnosis in year two. I just want to shoot dope whenever the pain comes. Dope atleast takes it away, after all they would be giving me some of the strongest shit they have at the hospital if I was some boomer with a sprained ankle. It would take the pain away. Thats for sure. Being a mentally ill, drug using, autistic tranny they just see that. I get nothing. No help, no answers, not even some relief when my screaming can be heard far and wide.

I want to die right now, and I keep trying to think of a painless way to do it.. buying $400 worth of street fentanyl and slipping into a nice, peaceful opioid coma seems like a wonderful idea right now.. that would end the fucking suffering atleast..

I wont be wearing a colostomy bag. Colostomy bags arent sexy, they are fucking disgusting and you cant just be body positive when you have a fucking bag full of your own shit hanging off you, and your only way of having penetrative sex sewed up permanently and taken away from me. Not like I could even be a decent fuck for anybody at this point anyways. Its painful to shit, let alone anything else. I dont want to give up food either. I love food, food is literally my life and the only way I have to bond with certain people! Like my family for example. Nothing makes me just want to slip.into that coma more then the worry of the future.

Will I be sitting at a family gathering eating bland gluten free, dairy free, all organic 100% vegan fair trade horse shit on a plate while my family actually gets to enjoy the food I used to be able to eat? Moms spaghetti, grandmas meat pies, the baked goods, fresh tomatoes out of my garden and others. A good fucking steak even? Cause honestly a birthday isnt a birthday if I dont have my birthday meal.

I know for a fact my body is damaged from 4 years of suffering. I used to bounce back, now it takes the wind out of my sails for a month.

Needless to say, I just want to fucking die more then anything else. Positivity and anything I love is gone, and all that I have left is knowing that Alberta health services, coast mountain health services, providence health services, and interior health services have all fucked me in the biggest way humanely possible. So thankful for free fucking healthcare!!

You get what you bloody well pay for!!

[all-hail-the-witcher]

loving too hard

so at the last minute i put this in the spies verse although it can 110% be read as a standalone. im not sure when it takes place so dont ask.

by popular demand here's the playlist of songs i was inspired by:

la devotee thin white lies lose you too dying in la 8 letters the reason who knew this is gospel

______

genre: sad 

ship: platonic ralbert

words: some

editing: nah

warnings: its sad, one brief mention of a shootout and weapons, use of the word love, feelings of regret, emotions, albert is stuck in his head and he made a bad decision, race just wants his hot pockets, he was at walgreens

_____

What the hell are you doing here?

Albert stared down at his hands, the light from the setting sun bathing them in gold, accentuating the purplish bruises scattered across his knuckles. Half moons of dried red framed his nails and dirt streaked his forearms. The gentle breeze stung his cuts. But no part of him was compelled to clean off the remnants of the work day. He’d fought willingly, hell it was his job after all, but suddenly it seemed so strange and weird and...wrong. Normally the last day of a case was thrilling and crisp with satisfaction, but all he could bring himself to feel was hollow regret.

It couldn’t be his job. Albert had known exactly what he was signing up for: long nights of research, stakeouts, codenames, fake identities, tailing criminals, not being seen, broken bones, scars, fights, shootouts, outrunning the inescapability of death time after time again...the endless prospects gave him goosebumps. He was a danger seeker. If he were told to take down a criminal with his eyes closed and hands tied behind his back he’d say well bring it the fuck on already!

And yet here he was, contemplating going back inside and opening his laptop to type a very half assed resignation letter. Why?

The view from the cheap hotel room was nothing special (the parking lot of a run-down strip mall mostly populated by a flock of crows) but he found himself leaning forward against the rickety hotel balcony railing to get a better look. Part of him knew that there was a very real chance it could snap and he would plummet 3 stories, but he found himself not caring. He’d fallen from higher places before. If anything, Race would yell at him for being stupid and reckless.

Race. Where was that bastard anyway? He’d left 45 minutes ago to go get first aid supplies or something, Albert hadn’t really been listening. Still, he was pretty sure that it didn’t take 45 minutes to run into Walgreens and grab some rubbing alcohol and gauze. He should have been back by now and Albert couldn’t bring himself to care.

Race was the whole reason he had this job. Why he had left home. Why he had seen so much of the world. Why he knew how to carry on half decent small talk in Russain (thanks Duolingo). Why he was one of the best field agents in the country. Why he could order meat-lovers pizza in 15 languages and counting. Why he had become such a better person than he had been in high school. But then again, Race was also the reason he had nightmares. Why he had nearly died countless times. Why he felt as though he was stuck in a life he wasn’t sure he would pick for himself if he had had the option.

Everything he had done had been for Race. Every bullet he’d taken, every scar he’d gotten, every panic attack he’d had, every time he’d hid his doubts and his fears about the mission...that had all been for Race. To protect him, to make sure he was happy.

Not like that plan had worked anyway. He knew that every time he so much as scraped himself Race panicked. And then they would ignore it until it became too much and Race would end up revealing just how much it hurt him that Albert was doing stupid shit behind his back and why can’t you just think about how this will affect me for once!?

But Race always came back, always tried to mend the rift. He made sure Albert was comfortable and he wasn’t pushing any boundaries. And what did Albert do in return? Kept fuckin hurting him. Race didn’t deserve that. Hell, no one did, but certainly not Race.

Race was too good for him. He had always been too good for him. Albert didn’t deserve a friend as good as Race, he never had and he never would.

The light’s clicked on in the parking lot below. It was no surprise that the lights, much like the strip mall, were shitty and flickering. Still, he was able to make out one lone figure holding two Walgreen’s bags. Only Race would be able to justify spending an hour in a Walgreens. Even from the balcony Albert could tell that Race’s hair was still coated in a thick layer of dirt and that he hadn’t bothered to change out of his mission clothes yet. Seeing him walking calmly back lifted a weight in his chest.

Are you sure you wanna leave this?

Albert turned swiftly, wrestling with the near-broken door for a moment before bursting back into the hotel room. Blindly he grabbed his backpack and threw random clothes and weapons in. Race was safe. He didn’t need to be here anymore now that he knew that Race was safe. Race was smart, he’d be fine, he didn’t need Albert.

He was in the middle of scribbling Race a half assed note when the door opened, bringing Race in with it. Shit.

“Hey Albie, sorry it took so long, I decided to get us food also but then couldn’t decide what to get and also Walgreens doesn’t have the best food options so I got hot pockets and chips and salsa, which, now that I’m saying that I realize that those are essentially the same thing, I hope that’s okay…” He finally looked up, noticing Albert. “Are you going somewhere? Is everything okay?”

“I’m so sorry Antonio.” Albert kept his voice low, knowing it would break if he spoke too loudly. “I can’t do this.”

Race dropped his bags on the bed and stepped closer to Albert, reaching out to grab his arm. “Do what?”

Albert flinched, stomach tightening as he stepped back to avoid Race’s touch. He felt guilty, but he couldn't do this, he couldn’t do this, fuck why couldn't he- “This,” he waved his hands as if in explanation.

“What Albie?” Race asked gently. “Stay in the hotel? The mission-”

“Us!” Albert blurted out. “I can’t do us.”

“What?” Race’s voice was small and broken as he stepped back, eyes suddenly glassy. Instant regret swelled up in Albert’s throat, but he forced it down. He couldn’t keep doing this anymore. It wasn’t right of him.

“I’m sorry. You’re too good for me Tonio. You’re too good for me and all I do is hurt you. I can’t be friends with you knowing that. I loved you too hard. I need time.” He picked up his backpack, unable to look Race in the eyes. Once his back was turned he tried to wipe at his own tears subtly, but winced when he remembered that he had too black eyes.

“Will you be back?” “I don’t know.” Albert picked up the note he had been writing and held it out to Race.

Race took the letter gently, looking at Albert thoughtfully. “I love you Albert,” he whispered finally. “You can always come back.”

Albert reached for the doorknob. “I-” his tongue stuck in his throat like sandpaper. He couldn’t say it. “Thanks,” he mumbled instead before stepping out into the hallway.

What did you just do?

_____

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[datingintampafails]

Chapter 22: Jaden*

“Better Together” Jack Johnson

I matched with Jaden*, and based on his main picture, a professionally taken headshot, I got the feeling this guy was out of my league for sure. I matched with him one time, my opening message being about his eye color, with some adjective I cannot remember, but the 24 hour window expired before he responded. A couple days later I saw him profile again, matching for a second time, my opener this attempt was simply “hello again.” He answered with “Let’s hang out.” I ask him about his intentions and he says no clue, asking me about mine. After explaining myself, he says he is “in the EXACT same boat.”

After that, I tried to get him to fill out the dating application. He refused, despite me telling him essentially I’d be asking the same questions anyway. He said he would rather learn about each other in person, which is fair. Since this is more or less the same time as Allen*, I tell him the same thing regarding waiting to get tested before I go out and meet anyone. He says “that’s nice of you.” I suggest instead a virtual drink and he just replies that he hates these times. I agree but acknowledge that at least I’m trying and once I’m negative we can get drinks in person. He asks when I took the test and I admit that I haven’t taken it yet and am getting it the following day. “At least you’re honest” he tells me. I tell him I don’t see the point of lying, which he says is a “good trait.” I make a joke about him being a realtor and that his job is not lying but putting positive spins on things and he finds that really funny for some reason.

I request that since he wouldn’t take my dating application, if I can at least ask him the most important question. He says “Yes” then “I do not like anal.” I sent him a full line of “haha”s. “Oh wait that wasn't the question sorry haha” was what he said next. Funny. “That’s a very important answer too… I’m glad” I tell him. Then I asked the actual important question, regarding children, and at first he said “I want kids, couple, not for at least 5 years or so.” I give him a “womp womp” essentially saying, wrong answer. I explain myself and then he says “Lol that'll probably be my path. [Kids are] too pricy and I want to travel and build my career.” The question with this 180 remains, is that how he really feels or is he trying to appease me? Either way it seems one of the answers was a lie or at least less truth.

After this, I send him five messages, two related to what he said, one saying I like his vibes and want to go out once my test is back, a follow up after he doesn’t reply a day later saying “if you’d like to of course,” and then “officially no rona” two days after the previous message when I got no responses. I figured this dude was bored, but he hadn’t unmatched me yet so I figured I’d still sort of try. He finally responds to that last message with a “yesssssssssss.” He tries to make plans for that afternoon but I tell him I’m working. I ask him about Saturday night, he says he has no plans so far and I say “You do now” with a wink emoji. We plan the night, settling on me cooking dinner and having some drinks at my place. I thank him for motivation/a reason to clean my house. The reason that I chose night, is I actually have a date scheduled as well with another guy for lunch.

He asks me about weed, if I smoke, getting Peter* flashbacks here. In my blurb about my feelings on weed, I specifically tell him “I prefer not on one on one time that someone be high.” He simply says “I dont act like a little stoner but I get it” I ask follow up questions which lead me to finding out he habitually, daily, smokes marijuana. I ask him about how that works during the COVID pandemic, he says that the price has gone up but otherwise it’s the same. I then inquire about what he’s up to that night. No response.

Then it’s past midnight and officially Saturday, the day we are supposed to meet up. I ask “Sooooo gameplan?” No response. I don’t want to keep messaging and messaging, so I just see if he will come back out of the woodwork. The guy that I was supposed to have lunch with messages me around that time saying unfortunately he cannot make lunch anymore, so that’s cancelled. I don’t see the point in telling Jaden* that my afternoon has freed up or anything like that.

When the day comes, my friend invites me to the beach and I say I’ll come since my daydate was cancelled and “I’m pretty sure that I’m being stood up for my nighttime date as well so I don’t care.” As we drive up to the beach, I see that lady and her two kids from when Ethan* and I was at the beach. I’m sure it's them. I’m weak in my vulnerability so I actually break down and text him, telling him that I spotted them. I do not expect a response. My friend and I had a good time at the beach, but got rained out so our four hour trip turned into only two. It was really hot outside though so we were okay with it being cut short. Still no word at all from Jaden*.

Now when it is 6:30pm, I feel that officially I have been stood up. By this point, I'd already cooked dinner and had finished it, so even if he did magically appear I would tell him too bad. I message him to redeem myself, “Well if you actually wanna meet up let me know. I’m pretty busy so my time is valuable” I also add a stone faced emoji, because I’m sick of this shit, frankly. An hour after that, he messages me “hey!!” I for some reason don’t get the notification, and when I check my phone about 40 minutes later, I just reply “lol hi.” An hour and a half after my response, he gives me his number and asks me to text him. Here’s some screenshots.

My phone rings and it’s him. “Are you in an SUV?” I am and I jump as a figure appears to my left, it is him. The lightning storm going on has transgressed into a full on rain. We quickly hug hello as he escorts me to the door and the safety of no rain.

Once inside, I am greeted by his lab, a really nice pupper that I give lots of pats to. I’m then introduced to his friend. Jaden* offers me a drink, I let him make me a drink with some local rum. It is made way too strong, and I add some of my sparkling juice to the mixture to try and soften it up. It marginally works, but I just slowly sip on it.

Both Jaden* and his friend are outgoing and friendly, we talk about random stuff, shoot the shit. Honestly, thus far I am getting along better with the friend, not in a romantic way, but just a regular way. Jaden* is a little too talkative, occasionally interrupting, and loud. I cannot tell if he is drunk, high, or whatever, but he just seems a little off. Since I have no baseline of what he is like sober, it’s hard to tell. Jaden* brags about me, essentially saying that I was so nice and awesome and was going to make him dinner, which I make a point of adding “oh don’t worry I still made it, I just ate it myself” to be cheeky. He continues talking about miscellaneous other stuff, mostly things I cannot connect to at all, as it relates to other mutual friends the other two have.

He stops at one point and says “oh! You said I have some explaining to do so here you are” and he goes on to say that he went to watch the Barcelona soccer game with friends, and upon them winning, continued the celebration with drinking all day, he repeats a few times, “it’s not a good excuse, but it’s an honest one.” I shrug and say “I mean that’s okay.” He goes on to tell another similar story about when he was in college and skipped hockey practice, again like “it’s not a good excuse but it’s an honest one.”

Then another friend comes by, it’s a female. She is nice and seems to be long time friends with them both. They (meaning the two friends of Jaden*) are discussing plans to go to another bar or something in a little, but they end up sticking around for another hour and a half. Jaden* mentions he’s hungry (munchies??) and upon looking in his fridge, there’s nothing to eat except literally lunch meat. He eats the lunch meat, offers me some, which I decline, and actually goes back a second time to eat the rest of it after 5 minutes. He complains he’s still hungry so I say I’ll look up food options for him. He orders food (McDonald’s) and offers me to get whatever I want, I’m barely hungry so I opt for some small fries and a small frozen coke.

Jaden* has prepared some weed and puts it in a vaporizer, him and the male friend partake, both myself and the other woman decline. He now brings out a guitar and tries to play the beginning of a song, making us all guess what it is. He plays so sloppily and in combination with the guitar being out of tune, I have no clue. He repeats the set of notes like five times before revealing it’s the beginning of “that one Jack Johnson song.” Upon later googling, it was “Better Together.” He asks everyone if anyone knows anything on guitar, I sheepishly go “oh I used to play as a kid, I know like one song.” I take the guitar and play the one song I know by heart on guitar in fast succession, Beethoven’s Fur Elise. They’re all just staring at me blankly, confused that this quiet chill chick just whipped out legitimate guitar skills out of nowhere. I also continue to just strum on the guitar while everyone talks, just to have something to do. Jaden* takes the guitar back to try and tune it with some app on his phone. He complains about how the app doesn’t really work to tune it and that it is still out of tune. The guitar gets put away.

Jaden* now is complaining about how he “ordered his food an hour ago and it’s still not here;” it has been fifteen minutes. His friend believes him; “it has not been an hour” I say so as to not sympathize with him. He is again bragging about me, and talking about how nice I am and that he liked that when we were talking on Bumble. The flattery is something I’m immune to but I thank him. Next he goes into a long winded story about when he partied with Justin Bieber back when he was dating Selena Gomez, “he could have had any girl he wanted at that party” he attested, “but he didn’t and he even went upstairs to talk to her on the phone. Biebs is loyal.” Also don’t really care about Biebs so I was not impressed by this anecdote. We did randomly bond over liking old Adam Sandler movies, specifically my favorite, Little Nicky, and agreed we’d watch that tonight. Randomly his dog jumped up on the couch next to me and I noticed that the dog had a boner, which was awkward and I pushed him away so I wouldn’t get humped.

The friends finally left a little before 1 am, I told Jaden* that I wanted to get going by 2 since I had stuff to do the next day and needed to get back to my dog. He says that’s fine and then gets mad about his food still not being there after at this point long enough to bitch. Now that he’s a little closer to me, I can smell his breath and it is horrid. It smells just like butt. I assume from a mix of the smoke and alcohol he had been drinking all day.

He calls McDonald's and gets in an argument with the lady. It’s really weird and off putting. On the phone he is saying how he’s worked at restaurants and know how the system works with delivery services, and the fact that they’re “still working on it” means such and such. They claim it’s already been picked up despite the app saying it hasn’t. He says he is just going to order from somewhere else. I’m arguing with him that nowhere he orders food from is going to get there quicker at this point and to just wait. Finally the UberEats updates and it will be there in 10 minutes which calms him down. He remembers he has a cookie and goes to eat it. I do find it pro status that he microwaves the cookie for a little bit. He asks me if I want some, I say sure, but then he tries to spoon feed a piece to me. I go with it; the cookie is actually pretty good. He offers me another piece, again spoon feeding it to me. A little weirdly intimate.

We go back to the couch to finally start Little Nicky. I’ve seen this movie countless times at this point so it’s not super important that I pay attention. He briefly rubs my shoulder and it feels good, I try to convince him to give me a full shoulder rub, and offer one to him as well. He gets his, I successfully break out a knot in his shoulder. When it's presumably now my turn, I get that same shoulder rubbed for maybe one minute, then he stops. Disappointing. He attempts to kiss me quite a few times, and I unenthusiastically peck/kiss back, but again, his breath is rancid so I’m not trying to get too close to that.

The food finally arrives. There’s no straws so I tried to open the top of my coke and it accidentally splattered on the (brown) couch. I run to the kitchen to get paper towels and come back to clean it. I apologize and he says it’s ok.

He’s eating his food, and is of course to my dismay chewing with his mouth open/smacking his lips, so if it wasn’t already a no go, it now officially was. I stay with my promise to just hang a little longer though. He snarfs down his food, I eat some fries and eat my frozen coke with a spoon. He’s done eating and we go back to spooning to watch the movie. He keeps lighting kind of humping me, which is just super weird, and I ignore that it’s happening. He seems to be completely flaccid which makes it even stranger.

After maybe 15 minutes, I notice that he’s no longer really laughing at the movie or doing anything, I peer back and realize this dude is sleeping. Great. I just lay there and continue to watch the movie. Honestly, I almost drift off to sleep a few times too; it’s late and I’m bored/tired. I check my watch and it’s now 1:58am. I start to get up and say “ok it’s almost 2, I gotta get going.” He awakens and grumbles at me.

He becomes legitimately angry at me for actually following through with what I said I was gonna do. “What the hell I thought we were gonna hang?” I tell him that like I came over but told him we weren’t hooking up so that shouldn’t have been an expectation. “I see, leaving at exactly 2, wow.” I’m just gathering my things and not saying a word. He mumbles at me and I cannot make out half the words he says, but says something like “I don’t think I’m the guy you’re looking for.” I respond, “I can’t really understand you right now, but yeah that’s okay.” It is clear to me this guy is not compatible with me whatsoever.

I’m still trying to be more or less not a total bitch, so I give him a peck on the forehead goodbye. I was holding my open frozen coke, so unfortunately in leaning over I again still had a little of the drink on the sofa. Whereas last time he was calm about it, now he is pissed. “AND YOU JUST KEEP SPILLING SHIT ON MY COUCH! GET IT TOGETHER!” He is being a jerk and I am no longer standing by and being friendly, “I’m gonna fucking clean it up again chill out, damn. You don’t have to be such a fucking asshole” He repeats yelling at me about his couch, that is the same color as the beverage so besides it looking wet, it will not stain. “Whatever” I say. I double check I have all my things, as the last thing I would want to do is have to come back here to get a belonging of mine. He is staring at me as I do this like “hurry up and leave. ”As I have my things and I’m about to head out the door, he randomly becomes nice again, “alright catch you later” “probably not,” I respond as I close the door behind me.

I shake my head to myself as I leave and at least the rain has stopped. I actually even feel tears sort of welling in my eyes. I am tired of having such terrible experiences, getting slack from guys I barely even know, having to put on a smile, some make-up, and put myself out there, just to be treated like shit. I drive home without incident, I think about blocking his number, but I figure that can wait until tomorrow. I get home a little before 2:30am, greet my dog, let her sniff me since I smell like another dog at this point, before changing into my pajamas again.

Later that morning, I get a text from Jaden*:

I have no reason to continue the conversation after that. I figured I would be honest because, why not. If I can at least try and teach him a lesson for the next woman, then my suffering will not be for nothing. Another night I won’t forget, similar to Peter*, but at least he did have a clean apartment before I came along.

[ohmyprodigalson]

I missed you.

I’ve had this idea rolling around my head for a while and finally got it written down. I loved writing it, so I hope you love reading it!

Trigger Warning: Descriptions of night terrors and sleep deprivation.

Word Count: 1,659

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Malcolm hadn't slept in over a week. (Y/N) was away on a business trip, and he hadn't realized how dependent he had become on (Y/N)'s presence to sleep peacefully through the night. He was stumbling around the apartment, sandwich in hand, when she came home. She hadn't even set her purse down yet when she watched Malcolm walk awkwardly from the kitchen to the couch. (Y/N) called after him with confusion and worry in her voice. "Malcolm...? What's going on?"

He almost appeared drunk with his movement when he spun around to see her. "(Y/N)!" Malcolm stretched his arms upward, like he was both reaching out for a hug and showing his enthusiasm at the same time. His smile was wide and he started walking towards her. She put her purse down and walked away from her luggage to meet him. He wrapped his arms around her, still holding the sandwich, and hugged her tightly as he exclaimed, "I'm so happy you're home!”

(Y/N) brought her arms up to gently push Malcolm away, but she kept her hands on his chest after they parted. Her voice was gentle but still concerned. "Malcolm, are you ok? What happened?"

"You mean, what didn't happen?" He stepped away from her and pointed his finger at her when he spoke before turning around and walking back towards the couch.

"Is that what you're eating for dinner?" It appeared he was going to eat a non-grilled cheese sandwich, and this concerned (Y/N) even more.

He was quiet and mischievous. "Maybe."

That's when (Y/N) recognized it. She had only seen this delirium from Malcolm once before, and it was early in their relationship before she started sleeping at his apartment. He had gone without sleep for so long that he couldn't function anymore, and that must be the case now.

Her voice was authoritative, like a mother caring for a child. "Malcolm, when was the last time you slept?"

He plopped down onto the couch and shrugged. "I dont know, it's been at least a week. How long were you gone?"

"A week..." she watched as he picked up his sad excuse for a sandwich. She marched over to him and snatched it out of his hands. She was scolding him, but in a playful manner. "Give me that! That's not food!"

"But I'm hungry!"

(Y/N) tried to contain her laughter. Malcolm was hilarious without sleep, but it wasn't good for him. She walked into the kitchen and set his plate down on the counter. As she started to wash her hands, she asked, "Ok, then what do you want to eat?"

He thought for a moment, staring at his hands where his sandwich once was. His voice was exceptionally low and quiet when he spoke, and all she could make out was, "...sandwich..."

"Alright, alright. Let me make you a proper sandwich."

(Y/N) had a drawer in the fridge specifically filled with food that Malcolm would normally never eat due to his upbringing. It usually came in handy when Malcolm was drunk, and tonight appeared to be no different. She grabbed lunch meat from the drawer and a few moments later she returned with a turkey and tomato grilled cheese sandwich. Malcolm's eyes grew wide, but not as wide as his smile when he reached up to take the plate from (Y/N). His voice was high-pitched with excitement. "Thank you!"

She sat down on the couch next to him and watched him happily eat his sandwich, but she was still deeply concerned. She waited until he had finished his sandwich to dampen the mood. Her voice was soft. "Malcolm, why haven't you been sleeping?"

"I missed you." The words left his lips before he finished the thought. He decided to let the rest of his words fall out, too. "I can't calm down anymore when you're not here to sleep beside me. I'm scared of the night terrors because I know you won't be here to ease my fear when I wake up."

Her heart instantly shattered into a million pieces. It made her never want to spend another night apart ever again. (Y/N) reached out to hold his hand. When she looked down, she saw that his right hand was trembling, so she held it tightly. "Well, I'm not leaving tonight. I'll be here, so you can finally get some sleep."

"I don't think I even know how to fall asleep." They looked into each other's eyes and (Y/N) saw the extreme fatigue in his.

"I can help you with that, too." (Y/N) got up and disappeared into the kitchen. After a few moments, she returned with a mug. She handed it to Malcolm and he took it quizzically.

"What is this?"

"It's sleepy time tea." She sat back down beside him on the couch.

"But-"

"Just hold the mug and breathe it in. You don't have to drink it if you don't want to."

Malcolm held the mug in both hands and absorbed its warmth. It smelled nice, so he took a sip. (Y/N) watched as he lost himself in the tea, and then saw him start drift off. She asked quietly, "Are you ready to go to sleep?"

All he could do was nod. He wasn't sure he would make it upstairs into his bed, but she helped him stand up and let him lean on her the whole way there. She gently set him on the bed and started to put his restraints on him. "I'll come to bed in just a minute. I need to take a shower and change my clothes. Go ahead and fall asleep, sweetheart. I'll be here when you wake up." She kissed him on the cheek before she walked away.

Malcolm fell into a very deep sleep; the deepest he had slept in a very long time. He was still in the exact same position in the bed when (Y/N) laid down beside him half an hour later. She fell into a deep sleep as well, tired from her long business trip.

It was early in the morning when it happened. Malcolm was having a night terror and it woke (Y/N) up. He was furiously pulling at his restraints, and she sat up and away from him so that she wouldn't get hit. She watched, helpless. He never woke up to the sound of his name, so all she could do was sit and wait for him to wake up.

But his restraints started to come out of the wall. (Y/N) didnt notice until she was nearly whipped in the face by one of the ropes that had broken free. After the second rope was pulled out of the wall, Malcolm lunged over to her side of the bed and fell off. He started to get closer and closer to the staircase, rolling around on the ground. (Y/N) finally snapped out of her stupefied shock. If he got too close to the stairs, he could fall and really hurt himself.

She hated doing it. (Y/N) wasn't allowed to wake him up this way, but he needed to be woken up before he seriously hurt himself. She leapt onto him, wrestling with his flailing limbs until she was sitting on top of him. (Y/N) balled her right hand into a fist and pushed her knuckles deep into his chest on top of his sternum. She rubbed up and down, knuckles still pressed firmly onto his chest. Malcolm flew up, attempting to sit upright, in a frenzy.

"OWWW!!!" His scream echoed throughout the entire apartment. (Y/N) got off of him and sat on the ground with her back against the bed, panting. His voice was dripping with anger and his face conveyed it, too. "You're not supposed to do that! Ever!! We agreed!"

She spoke her words in between pants. "Malcolm, look at where you are."

He paused and took a look around. He was on the floor, not even a foot away from the staircase, and his restraints were still buckled to his wrists. "How did I get over here?"

Her panting had lessened when she spoke again. "You ripped your restraints out of the wall... again."

There was a small moment of silence before Malcolm spoke, softly and with guilt. "I'm sorry I scared you."

(Y/N) slid across the floor until she was sitting beside him. "I'm sorry I hurt you."

Malcolm smiled. "I guess we're even?"

"Nope." She started to unbuckle the now useless restraints from his wrists. "I'm calling your mother this afternoon. We're going to install those reinforced steel anchors in the wall, like we talked about." When she looked back up at Malcolm, she saw actual fear in his eyes.

"No, please don't call my mom. I'll never hear the end of it."

"You'll never hear the end of it from me if we don't get those anchors installed. You know we have to ask her permission first. She owns the building."

He turned away from her and didn't respond. He was going to be in trouble with someone regardless of his decision. (Y/N) saw his frustration and placed a hand on his leg. "Hey..." Malcolm looked at her. "I'm doing this because I love you. What if I wasn't fast enough to catch you this morning?"

"I know, it's just..." He couldn't find the rest of his words.

"It'll be ok, I promise. I'll try to keep this morning a secret and not let her know that it's the reason for getting the anchors." He nodded.

She thought for a moment before speaking. "Do you want to go out and get coffee this morning? Forget about all of this for a while?"

Malcolm let out the breath he had been holding from anxiety. "That would be great." He finished his sentence with a smile. He knew she just wanted to make sure he was safe, and it made him happy to think that she cared that deeply for him.

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Author’s Note: What the reader did to Malcolm is called a sternal rub. It is used in emergent situations when a patient doesn’t respond to verbal stimuli.

Headcanon: The reader is a medical professional. The first time the reader saw Malcolm have a night terror, she tried to wake him up by shaking him and yelling. When that didn’t work and the terror was getting worse, she did a sternal rub because she thought it would be better than letting him suffer through the dream. He had a similar response to the one he had in this story and he made her promise that she would never do it again, no matter how bad the night terror was.