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princelestatdelioncourt · 3 months ago

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Part lll - Wolfkiller

*fanfic*

It was still dark when I woke up next morning. Always an early raiser, since I remember as a kid, I am always the first one to get up and the last one to go to sleep.

I opened my eyes and I saw that familiar fur next to me. My beloved dogs sleeping by my side, providing that warmth and company. For someone that has dogs or cats living with them surely this will sound familiar.

I have trained and fed these dogs since they were pups, a male and female. So strong jaws, strong legs, muscular body...I have never weighted them, I had not scales and the only ones I was aware of, were for spices and food. But I do believe their weighed around 120–140 lbs.

I just laid there for a few minutes, spread on my straw mattress under a blanket and old sheets, one arm over the male’s body length and the female was laying on my back. Listening to them while they slept. Memories from years ago when I went down to the breeder and held them in my arms. Days and afternoons training them. It made me smile. It made me feel warm inside. I thought I did good with them, I was their friend and showed them how to do good and they returned their gratitude with their comfort, helping when hunting, company at nights and love.

I took a deep breath from all these thoughts that started to annoy me for some reason and I finally got up. I looked at the window, Snowing. Perfect. That winter was horrible cold and snowing mostly everyday, which was no good becasue there was basically nothing to hunt. nothing to provide, nothing to eat but vegetable broth if any vegetables survived the snow, or to re use that old bone to cook more broth.

My clothes where spread everywhere. I remembered then, I had company last night. The castle gates, the wine, the cheese, the tavern servant... where the hell she was? I looked around , she wasn't there, I was certainly sure about that. Maybe she left while I was asleep. I gave no importance and I continued getting dressed.

What I thought about while I was getting dressed? nothing. I have my mind clear. I just felt frustrated. I felt alone. I felt nothing had importance. That was the everyday feeling there. I was there, I was live, I was just one living in these walls, thats all.

The dogs were awake now, still laying on the bed but on alert for my sign to follow me.

My side table, the one by the window and fireplace, had a basin with water, it was horribly cold. I splashed my face with it and I looked at my self on that old almost faded mirror. Messy hair and my old reflection. Good enough to go hunting. Not gave importance on anything I saw. But let me tell you something. Every time I looked at myself in a mirror, I stared at my own eyes. And it seemed I talked to myself without moving my lips. Own support, own courage. Nothing else than that.

I gave the sign for my dogs to follow me.

Now let go hunt the pups.

The castle was still sleeping minus the servants already working on the kitchen.

Went to the kitchen hoping to find something to eat prior my hunting day. Maybe something for the dogs as well.

It was warm in there, always with that giant fireplace that once served these horrendous medieval wars and they celebrated their triumphs. Now just for whatever I provided and broth. But I am not a history listener as you know so all I knew is all i have heard from far away.

Cheese in the pantry. Loaf of bread, leftovers from last night dinner. It was hard but it was something. Unfortunately there was nothing for the dogs and I felt bad. Surely I will hunt something and they could eat that. The wolf perhaps. That thought made me chuckle. Eat the damned wolf.

The main servant walked in the kitchen and saw me eating.

“Good Morning Lord” she said

“Don’t call me that” I replied while eating and looking at her. She raised me basically. Duties from the royalty. Servant will take care of their Lords kids.

She side smiled becasue she knew I always hated that Lord signature.

“Going hunting early today” she said while cutting some carrots

My eyes where on her, while I still stood, leaning to the table that was in the middle of the room, legs crossed and my dogs by my side. How I looked like?

“Hmm yes. I have to find these pups”

“Pups?” she looked at me “ Lestat, these are no pups but wolves, they killed the villager sheeps and cows”

“Yes and thats all. Since when a wolf attacked a man? They are just hungry ......like we are” I said the last words with venom on my lips.

She looked at me in silence and then returned to cut more vegetables. She murmured something I could not understand or gave a prayer. I looked at her and I lifted my brow. I had enough of that conversation and I walked towards that old medieval room where we had these old armor and medieval weapons. I looked around. What to choose. Three flintlock guns, a flintlock rifle, my muskets and my father's sword. A very large mace spiked club and also an iron ball attached to a chain that could be swung with immense force at an attacker. Many tips back and forth to the barn and prepare my worse with all that arsenal. The hell I needed all of that? oh well. Might no need it but there I was packing it all. Just before leaving the castle, I added to this little arsenal one or two ancient weapons that I'd never bothered with before.

There I went up hill, for a long time. It was all quiet and still snowing. Dogs by my side. I had my mind clear but I was unhappy and ferocious as I rode up the mountain. I wanted to kill them all, I was ready. I needed it. It was something inside of me that needed that fight.

#fanfic #wrote this so long ago...just posting it now #Lestat De Lioncourt #mortal lestat

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princelestatdelioncourt · 3 months ago

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Part II "Just A Night"

**This is a continuation from Part I - Just a day

The day became afternoon, the sky with a mix of soft colors. Blues, pinks, oranges and purples. So clear skies. I was finishing to work on the fences and cutting some bushes to make it more clear. No we had no gardener. I did it all.

I sat on the store steps of the front door, tired and covered in sweat after all these hours working. I drank from the jar of water I had next to me and I poured some over me to cool down. It felt so good but I was soaked wet now. I didn't care. I just sat there, leaned back and rested my elbows on the stone steps and just enjoyed the quietude and I felt hungry and I hoped there was some food that night and not just hard bread and cheese.

Finally I went up stairs and towards my room. My dogs there and they came to me as soon as I opened the door and I played with them for a few. Then I took off my wet shirt, used the wet towel to clean and dry my chest from sweat and dirt and wore the clean new shirt. My only two shirts I owned. So I put this one by the fireplace to dry overnight.

I was starving so ordered my dogs to stay and I went downstairs see if we had supper. I could smell broth and that made me more hungry. I walked into the dinning room and there were my brothers, their wives and father seated on the end side of the table facing the door where I came in and on to the other end my mother her back facing the door. I always sat closer to my mother side, she wanted me to sit there since when I was carried back home from the Monastery years ago.

The server poured some broth on my bowl and I devoured that fast listening from away whatever my brother Augustin was talking to my father and my other brother just replying with "yes", "Agree", "Absolutely" how ignorant and absolutely ridiculous they sounded talking about power.

Then to my surprise there appeared by the door the most delicate server Ive ever seen. White pale skin, soft pink lips, blond locks on each side of her round face with pinky cheeks and when she lifted her sight to pour some wine in our cups her blue eyes shy. Ive never seen her around the castle. My eyes just followed her while she poured the wine on my brothers cup and my brother looked at my realizing I was looking at her and he nodded his head with that disgusting face of what the hell I was thinking of.

I ate what I was given to eat. Fruits and vegetables and pieces of meat from the broth and cheese. My brothers, their wives and kids and my father left while I was still eating. My mother stayed, quietly, looking straight seated on a polite posture like if she was in Versailles and she stayed there while I finished to eat. I wasn't sure why it was always like that, why I always ended up alone eating but it was normal but I hated it but i did not. And my mother always stayed even if she was done with her meal. Why? I do not know I never asked.

When I was done, my mother finally stood without a word and left the room. And I stood and left as well. I went outside towards the outside gates wondering if the tavern girl will come or not. I will only wait a few. I dont have that much of a patience and if she wasn't coming I will just go back inside and find some wine and drink it all.

Just a few moments later I saw her coming from the serpent dark road. I felt a mix of emotions. I just looked at her to approach and she smiled at me when she was closer. Opening her arms and wrapping them around me.

"I never forgot, I am here" he looked up at me and smiled

"I see" I held her with one arm around her back waist and I made us to walk towards the door. Upon opening the door she was surprised to see such a magnificent place and so big. I was surprised she loved the Castle so much when I hated every corner of it. I made her wait on the hallway while I went to the kitchen and grab a bottle of wine and then we went upstairs to my room. She almost made me stop every few steps becasue she was astonished of what she saw.

I opened the door to my room "Dont be afraid of the dogs they are friendly" and we walked in. The dogs obviously came to me and they were around her trying to jump and play with her but she seemed scared. Two huge mastiff dogs and one small girl, it was obvious she was a little scared. I finally made them to stop and they went to back to lay down on the rug by the fireplace.

She sat on the edge of my bed and looked around my room.

"Your admiration surprises me. Its just a big room with thick walls" I said while I pet the dogs and walked towards the end table I had by my bed and grabbed the bottle of wine, opened it and drank from it.

"Is beautiful Lestat" she said and smiled at me

I chuckled and threw myself to the bed, my back resting on the pile of pillows by the wall and I drank more and I looked at her. All I wanted was to be drunk. She came closer slowly like a snake on tall grass, her hands sliding over my legs up to my thighs, her mischievous smile on her red lips, her hair tied up just a few locks falling over her face. I drank again and she took the bottle of wine off my hands and sat on my lap pulling up her dress so it would be nothing but her, her under garments and me.

"I dont want you drunk my Lord" she said accommodating herself more in purpose over me and leaving the bottle of wine on the table next to the bed. I smiled. Between that wine and the one few cups I had while having dinner I was a little tipsy.

"Will do then make me forget where I am at then?" I smirked and held her waist with my hands leaning closer and kissing her chest with a few soft kisses.

"yes I can" she replied holding my head her fingers tangled on my hair. That always make me lose all temper and anger and relaxed me so much.

We kissed, we took off our clothes, we felt each other bodies next to the other, we made love a few times over and over to finally we held each other until we could do no more.

I felt falling asleep laying on that straw mattress, her head resting on my shoulder and me all spread like if I fell onto that mattress. I was done and I didn't want no more.

She talked to me about the wolves. "I am scared you are going up there in the morning, is not just dogs Lestat" she said with her fingers playing with my hair.

"yes thats fine, it will be good, sleep..."I said with my eyes closed, tired, drunk, wet in sweat from the intercourse and ready to sleep. She rested her head on my chest and the only thing I remember next was waking up very early in the morning, it was still a little bit dark but I could hear the morning crickets and a few birds. I was laying on my stomach and i moved my arm and no one was there. Not even the dogs. Eyes half opened, my hair over my face, Im sure I looked like a mess half asleep. Then I remember it all. She probably left early while I was asleep to go back to the Inn. Ok fine. I fell back to the mattress and I didn't want to move but I know I had to go out there and kill the wolves. I protested silently...until I finally decided to move.

#wrote this long ago just publishing it now #lestat de lioncourt #mortal lestat

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princelestatdelioncourt · 5 months ago

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You’re the calm on my stormy nights… such amazing heart and soul and beauty you are. Mine forever 😘😘😘❤️❤️❤️je t’aime ma espouse 🩷

Darlinggggg 😘😘😘😘😘

Darliiiiiiiing!!! Good Morning 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘 yum

#lestat x dora #lestat de lioncourt #dora flynn #i love you more #our little piece of forever #happy lestat #i love you #eternal love

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princelestatdelioncourt · 5 months ago

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Darlinggggg 😘😘😘😘😘

Darliiiiiiiing!!! Good Morning 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘 yum

#lestat x dora #happy lestat #Dora Flynn #lestat de lioncourt #i love you

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princelestatdelioncourt · 1 year ago

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He smiles looking at Rose and her beautiful blue eyes “it always feels a little strange when you call me by name after all these years as Uncle Lestan.” He sits down next to her “so a Birkin bag it is. I haven’t heard of them before but I will find them. I always find things” he laughs some having no clue about that bag. Holding her hand now. “I would love to spend time with you as well. I know I’ve been traveling quite lot and I do miss our conversations. What are you been up to lately?”

Happy Birthday my beautiful dear Rose.

And what would you like most on this special occasion?

"Thank you very much, Lestat. Hmm. I could ask for something outlandish. I do need a new Birkin bag. But nothing would make my night other than spending time with you. If the Prince isn't too busy of course."

#lestat #rose

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princelestatdelioncourt · 1 year ago

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Finally! Lestat chained after Memnoch, as @slutaciouslestat asked 😊

(I was this 🤏 close to replace David with vampire old Daniel but in the end I decided to stick to canon🙄).

#memnoch the devil #//this was sad and painful moment

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princelestatdelioncourt · 1 year ago

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The images were so real, so vivid he could feel the heat from the sun, the sweet taste of the fruits and the creek, and their laughs. So many hours under the sun or the stars and their laughs. So far yet so close, Lestat felt Nicolas embrace around him as he drank from him so carefully not to hurt him. It was tense for a second, but he felt Nicolas embrace and welcoming what was happening. In these dreams he saw Nicolas’s stop smiling, as it happened before and at that time when Lestat could not but stop and freak out on what to do. That fear to what was happening to Nicolas. He saw how the sun was fading, how the music stopped, the clear skies were cloudy, and Nicolas was starting to be away, his stare still on Lestat and his eyes fixed on Lestat and Lestat felt like being pulled away from Nicolas to escape that vision, his eyes fixed on Nicolas. They were not laughing anymore. It was cold… and with all force Lestat escaped from that invisible force and ran towards Nicolas, ran fast and slowly he was approaching more and more…” Nicki! Nicki!” he screamed until he finally was able to reach Nicolas’s hand then an arm around his waist and pull him towards Lestat. He held Nicolas with force yet carefully “I’m here, I’m here” then he heard Nicolas’s voice, talking to him at that same moment while Lestat was drinking from him slowly. “I'll stay with you, Ill walk with you, Ill be with you until the end and beyond…” and the clouds started to dissipate, the sun was starting to be bright again, the creek and its cold clear water, the birds, the fresh fruits, the wet grass… they were holding each other and nothing else would separate them again.

The feeling of Nicolas fangs on Lestat made him let out a sound, pleasant sound, he was so delicate, so pleasant. And it all faded as soon as they stopped drinking from each other but there was the real feeling now of Nicolas hands on Lestat cheeks and Nicolas repeated these same words like in the visions.

Lestat opened his eyes slowly, hoping this was not a dream like so many times had happened before. No, he was there, Nicolas was there and was holding him. And his lips were tinted in red. His eyes so bright, these beautiful dark eyes Lestat always was lost in them. Closing his eyes to the kiss and tasting their blood, which made all senses to awake in a way no one can do. Lost in that kiss, there was nothing more than Nicolas’ embrace and the kiss.

Swift move and Lestat sitting on Nicolas’s lap, his hands on Nicolas strong fine abs, but so close to him “our conversation” Lestat said feeling their hearts beat altogether, the blood on their kiss. Lestat hands now under Nicolas’s shirt. How much he missed feeling his skin. Starving for years to that touch.

“I’ve missed you too and I knew we could talk again. I was just giving you space to find what you were looking for because I’ve finally learned that Love is not just wanting on what I want but on what you need and want, so if you wanted to be free or be with someone else forever, I would have to respect that decision and be happy for you. To still love you no matter what. But I am so happy we are here now, and you are not upset, and we can talk, and we can go anywhere in the world…together.”

Lestat stared at Nicolas’ eyes for what seemed a long time, he was lost in them, he didn’t know for how long. He hands still under Nicolas’s shirt feeling his firm chest and his heart “Je Taime” and it was so easy to say these words to Nicolas and when said in French it was meant from the heart and soul. It was like in the Village or Paris, it was his whole being saying these words.

“I don’t want to go anywhere else in the world but your arms, I want to listen to your voice, taste your lips, look into your eyes, kiss your smile. I want to listen to your music and make love to you with these melodies. I want to give you so much I can’t find the words …I want to give you the world because you deserve Nicki more than anyone else, you deserve all goods and I want to give them to you even if I fail, I want you to teach me, I want to learn from you. Together in this Savage Garden we can conquer anything we want.

Lestat kissed Nicolas’ lips again gently and passionately while his hands were caressing his chest. It was all so perfect.

Suddenly cold air presence. No, it was not another vampire or an ancient, it was different, it was something, a presence. Just like ..Just like that night he was kidnapped from his room in Paris in Nicolas arms.

Lestat broke the kiss and looked towards the door. He didn’t move and it was very protective of Nicolas to whatever that thing was. Still sitting on his lap, hands on his chest but ready to jump. And when that presence that was flickering was moving out of the shadows towards them, he could he it was Magnus. Lestat anger was over the roof suddenly and his eyes became like laser that could cut the air.

“What the hell are you doing here? How did you find this place? GET OUT!” Lestat screamed the last works with rage and almost like a groan. He still hated Magnus for everything.

“I just came in peace my son” Magnus replied with a broken voice like a cry “I…”

“Don't call me son." Lestat interrupted "How you dare come in here to Nicolas’s home! How you dare to show your presence to us now! I told you I don’t give a damn about you. You destroyed our dreams before... There's nothing for you here. Go!”

Lestat is a powerful vampire but there is still an unknown way to be able to “Kill” a ghost. Not the fire gift, not the mind gift… they didn’t know yet what could kill a ghost like Magnus. And having to see Magnus now, was upsetting Lestat so much because it was exactly like it has happened before in Paris. Lestat and Nicolas loving each other, on their bed and planning on dreams and future and there came Magnus to break everything into pieces. Lestat’s was so pissed off. Nicolas probably has never seen Lestat this way before.

“GET OUT! ARE YOU A STUPID DEAF GHOST?! GET OUT!” Lestat screamed and slightly moved, still very protective to Nicolas, and Magnus backed up terrified. Magnus was trembling or flickering so much, and he was crying and sobbing.

“I came to make peace with Nicolas” Magnus replied between sobs with broken voice.

The breeze was freezing cold but never cared to fly to that location. It is middle winter in this part of the world and I just went without an invitation. I didn’t care but I followed my instincts, my feelings, my gut. I wanted to see him to what invisible force calling me to do so. Will he accept to see me again? It was ok for me to go? I didn’t know the answer, I didn’t know the outcome, but I went either way.

It was still early when I have arrived, the house was quiet, I could not read his mind but I could sense his presence. His heartbeat. His always warm heartbeat even if he always said he had a dark heart. It was never dark to me.

Entering the room, he laid sleeping still. As I looked at him, as I approached carefully without making any sounds, my eyes fixed on him, memories rapidly passed by my mind but I had to erased them. The moment was now.

I stood by him contemplating him while was still asleep. His hair messy, his eyelashes dark, his eyes perfectly closed, his lips, no expression but yet giving so much strong power coming from his soul. All his has suffered , oh I knew , he was strong, strong at heart and soul. And why did I felt my heart racing? Why it still seemed like if we were two young men back in Auvergne at that single moment. I felt myself leaning forward and kissing his temple so gently that it was barely a touch. Cold lips against cold skin but i felt that connecting that never ceased in me.

I didn’t know if he would just get up suddenly and strangle me or threw me to the other side of the room or how he will react to my presence but i just did it no matter what. Bold move Lestat but the hell, I was listening to my gut. I was there because I still cared no matter the outcome. With his approval or not with his rage or not. I cared, I will always care.

I moved back up slowly waiting on his move, ready but not ready to whatever he will do, say or do to me now…

Always work. Keep himself useful, create, do something with his time, with his mind. There was a hollowness he couldn’t fill. An ache that threatened to cripple him constantly. Former demons had become new demons he had fashioned. Surrounded by souls but alone and that loneliness was becoming unbearable. Old and wise words echoed in his mind and Nicolas chose to close his soul and his mind because that ache that almost cost him his life could be light again. Aching and shielding that ache with fine Armani suits, poise and elegance. Musician, producer, it spilled effortlessly.

He forgot for a moment in which part of the world he chose to stay this time of years. Cold. Cold like those nights long ago. Only this time there weren’t warm arms wrapped around him, that laughter that could break the dark clouds and made him smile. Sun kissed kiss and the sun captured in those golden, silk locks.

He wrote, he pondered over sheets that needed to be attended to, urgent emails and more work he had laid on top of more work. The cold light of the laptop screen made the talon shape ring shine. A trinket saved from long ago, from a theatre and a life that seemed so long ago. Helping him dress and laugh about tiny details, looking around until that trinket rose to light and Nicolas put it on Lelio’s finger. The ring became his own, spilling blood until his hands had been taken and the ring seemed forever lost. Until, one day, it made its way back to him.

Nicolas didn’t realise he had fallen asleep. He had postponed going out and feeding until the dawn’s early light. The hunger cooked inside him as he stirred and kept his eyes closed, letting his dreams take him back to something that felt out of his reach.

Loneliness was their kind’s curse. He thought he could face loneliness. What a fool he had been.

Something…someone… Nicolas felt a press of gentle yet bold lips. A familiar smell and taste. A pull in his heart and veins and something in his soul beating faster. His eyes fluttered, hair he kept styled after the latest fashion, falling on his face.

“You’re here?” It might be the hunger. He idiotically let himself starve too focused in work and after so many years, he was imagining like in those dark years that Lestat was there. That he hadn’t head to his venomous words, that he had stayed and they eventually left that tomb in which he allowed himself to stay.

Dark eyes slowly opened to grasp the man before him. Dark blood flowing into his veins as well. He couldn’t read his mind, it didn’t matter. What human bond had been forged between their souls, the blood they now shared had broken.

“How?” Why, perhaps. After all this time, Nicolas thought Lestat had finally embraced hating him. He was too dark and he never wanted that darkness to spill into Lestat. That darkness always flew through him and he wouldn’t let Lestat be tainted by his darkness. And yet his soul yearned. Yearned the softness, the warmth, the touch, wrap his arms around him and let that fire take him.

Nicolas rubbed his face, trying to force back the ebbs of sleep and tiredness. He felt too human. Too weak “What time is it?” Lestat was before him, his kiss still burning on his temple. Like before. After all this time. His heart pounded in his chest, aching and yearning.

#lestat x nicolas #lestat #nicolas

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princelestatdelioncourt · 2 years ago

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See… isn’t that enough to show that they loved each other more than anything.? Lestat do! Clearly shown here. Head over heels about Nicki and all these detailed descriptions.

Dammmm how much I want them to stay together forever.

—————————————————————————

@monsieur-nicolas-de-lenfent It was a long time since Ive read these pages and just reading this… I could see our beloved ones just aching for each other. At least Lestat was. How much I would like to know Nickis point of view at that moment. 🖤

never not thinking about the way Lestat describes Nicki right before he turns him

hearing people say the homosexuality was subtext in the books makes me want to chew glass

#lestat x nicki #lestat de lioncourt #nicolas de lenfent #they meant to be together

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princelestatdelioncourt · 2 years ago

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After a long day hunting, I quickly went home to drop off what I caught, washed my hands and face and down the street I went to Nicolas’s home. These were my days then. We were always together. I walked downhill happily wondering where we would go that evening.

Upon I arrived in front of his home, I threw small pebbles onto his window as always so he knew I was there. One pebble…nothing…another one…. nothing….I was a bit concerned as he usually opened his window almost immediately from the first pebble hitting his window. Now a third one… nothing. I was worried now. I knew his father was not kind to Nicolas so I became worried something has happened to him. Never attempted to knock at the door before but I had to do something and I needed to know he was alright.

As I came closer to the door, I heard Nicolas’s little brother scream. My own ghosts and fears from me and my father beatings came to mind and I knocked at the door. The kid stopped screaming and I’ve heard footsteps approaching. His father opened the door and he looked aggravated and drunk.

“Good evening, Monsieur, Nicolas home? Also, I have something for Étienne“ I smiled, fake smile, trying to look pass his shoulder.

“Ah Monsieur Lestat. No, he is not home, I’ve sent him to Clermont to find new fabrics” He replied looking at me but trying to hide what was behind him and trying to be nice as I was the Lord’s son “What is what you have for little Étienne?”

“A gift from the mountains, I would like to give it to him personally” I was trying to pass all the talking and to find out what was going on. If Nicki wasn’t there then I had to do something for his little brother. “Might I see him?”

“He is upstairs… playing…I will give it to him for you” his father said

Etienne ran towards the door and screamed my name “Lestat!”. I Looked down and his face was red and he was crying. His father stopped him from coming out outside to where I was at. But I perfectly saw this was not normal. His father held Étienne by the shoulder and pulled him back inside “I should go back to work.” as he was shutting the door on my face, I stopped the door from closing with my open hand and I stepped inside shooting the door behind me.

“what’s going on Etienne?” I knelt down to be able to look at his face. He was scared and crying he had a small cut on his cheek. “Nicolas here?” he nodded no.

“Theres nothing to worry Monsieur. Etienne just fell playing and just a small scar” his father said

“Come on Etienne, Lets go outside” I held his little hand and as we walked towards the door his father stepped in front of me, not allowing me to open the door.

“This is my home Monsieur and that’s my son and I said he is alright” he wasn’t that polite now

I looked at his father with rage I didn’t see him but I saw my father. I was enraged.

“And I want to go out with Etienne to get some fresh air” When I attempted to reach the door knob, he pushed me back. Etienne screamed to his father to stop.

“Its alright Etienne” I said to him but my eyes fixed on his father. I wasn’t looking for a fight but I didn’t see things will go easy there. “Let us go outside” I said firmly to his father.

“I said this is my home Monsieur and that’s my son, so he stays in”

“Or what if I want him to go out with me?” I said challenging “I know what’s going on here, I know what’s going on with Nicolas and Etienne. You are not as polite as people thinks you are with your fake modesty pretending to be a fine Parisian. Beating your sons because they want to do good. That’s no nice…Monsieur” I was upset. Etienne was beside me holding my jacket tightly and I was protecting him with my arm against me. He was only 6 years old.

“Theres none of your business! You two are the blasphemy of this village. Always drunk and disturbing at the Inn and Nicolas with his obsession with that violin and you with your old story leaving home to join a disgusting evil troupe.”

“Theres no evil on what we do, there’s no harm no what we do and there’s good on playing music. Nicolas is a marvelous talented man and you have an old stupid mentality not allowing your son to be happy and do what he loves most” I was getting more and more enraged “come on Etienne lets go” His father them punched me on my stomach unexpectedly. Etienne screamed again, he was still beside me.

“I said this is my home and I do as I say and I don’t care if you are the Lord’s son”

My stomach was hurting like a pyre of fire…but I could not let Etienne there with all this. We had to go. I suddenly moved forward grabbing Nicolas’s father by his jacket making him walk backwards to the wall. Hitting to whatever was in out way. Etienne was crying. I saw my father I saw my brothers on him and I wanted to let out my rage.

“And I don’t care who you are” My voice was like a roar “I can kick you out of this village as the Lord’s son because you are nothing of service here and leave you without a penny and clothes to die in the cold mountains or perhaps more wolves will go and get you and this time I will not go and kill the wolves so they can find you. You are mad and be glad that whatever it is holding me now stopping me to let out my rage on you and because Etienne is there watching us, I don’t want him to remember his father covered in blood. One more time, one more time I see Nicolas with a bruise or Etienne, and you will meet the Lord’s son the one who killed eight wolves” I could go on but it was just useless to talk to him as he was half drunk and useless.

I stepped back and I held Etienne hand and we stepped back outside and we went down the road where I knew Nicki will come from. We sat down by the road. My stomach was still hurting but I was glad Etienne was safe now. He was seated next to me with his knees vended to his chest, his arms wrapped around them and his gaze was lost.

“It is alright Etienne. Everything will be alright. Nicolas will be here soon” I said trying to make him feel better. He then hugged me

“You are good Lestat. You are like my brother. He’s is good. Father is not good.” He said holding me tight

It broke my heart to hear him say that. I am good…I did good and I surely knew Nicki was good too. I passed my arm around him and we waited for Nicolas…

@monsieur-nicolas-de-lenfent

#lestat x nicolas #lestat de lioncourt #nicolas de lenfent #//Lestat will protect Nicki and his brother always #//i think thats how you named his brother right? :-)#//you can reply back if you like #//thank you again for the inspiration

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princelestatdelioncourt · 2 years ago

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“Why should I ever go downstairs to meet the Parisians with pompous wigs and fake smiles?” I said with a bitter tone, staring at my mother and she just looked at me once as she walked towards the door on her habitual pace. Like a Marquise, like an elegant lady. She was like that to me. She was educated, the only one with education in my family. She never responded back to me but I understood I needed to meet these people.

I sat there on my bed with my new dogs around me, took a deep breath. My mother left the room already and she always had that power, in me, that no matter what I have said or protested, it always made me do what she said. Why? maybe respect or love.

Not often she made me do anything but the only times she stood up were when she actually wanted lift me up. She usually stopped the fights and beatings with my brothers and father and while I laid on the ground or whatever I was at, defeated, she stood there looking down at me with a serious gaze and her direct voice “Lestat, get up” and she did not move until she saw me standing again.

Now, she told me to go to meet the merchants…I hated that so much. I hated to pretend that my family was an actual family, I hated that no one at the Village knew what kind of life it was to live at the Chateau. They thought it was all flawless, clean and that I was just the rebel in the family. Now I had to pretend again with smiles.

"Lets get over this crap" I said to myself while I went to get my jacket. Get over this and then just go get some wine and end up drunk somewhere and have my own happy moment and forget about everything.

I was wearing my yellow cotton shirt, my pants, my old boots and my wool jacket…all I had clean at that moment and all I had actually. Just a couple garments of each. Just one pair of boots. Just one winter jacket and one summer jacket. Voila! How fancy right? Blah. I didn’t care. I didn’t care much…until I saw the Parisians at the Inn on the way to Paris and I looked at them from afar and feeling my soul thorned. I loved and hated them. I loved these garments I hated them. To hell with that. But I loved it and sometimes I've tried to get into a conversation, if a young lady engaged a look or two.

So I kissed my dogs and ordered them to stay and off I went downstairs to meet the merchants. I could hear then talking to my brothers and father from afar. It seemed they were explaining with that polite educated language, how they have found the wolves and so on ….and one last turn from the long hallway and I was in the same room where they were at.

Quick glance around, the sun shone bright that morning. My father on his chair, my brothers by his side, Gabrielle wasn’t there. I supposed she hated these meeting as well. Why she could not join after telling me to come down? I Could not say but it was bittersweet, I wanted her there too but I understood.

I looked then at the merchants. The sun so bright on their backs, so at the very first glance as I walked in, I only saw their silhouettes. As I approached, I was finally able to see their clothes and faces.

As I expected they were wearing the best clothes for this meeting and there I was dressed up with my best. But I care? No I don't. Maybe yes. I simply hated this moment to pretend.

So after a quick glance around, on what they were holding and their clothes, what stuck me and to actually made me stop looking around, was the young man standing there, all dressed up like a fine Parisian as well but he was smiling back at me and it felt like he was pretending to enjoy that moment as well.

His smile was big and warm, he seemed to smile with his whole body. He wasn’t as pompous as his father on manner yet he spoke and behaved as if, with that smile, and that intrigued me. His father then introduced me to him, Nicolas.... then the name came to my mind. Nicki! I remembered then. My old friend Nicki from many years ago. We were just kids when we were playing together. We always were misbehaving. I tried to do good, he was more rebellious. It was so nice to see him again after all this time. He grew up so fine. I felt a warm sensation growing on me when I looked at him. He was looking so splendid now. A vision. I could not by stare at him the whole time, that even when his father was talking to me about the cloak and boots they made for me, I was just staring at Nicolas and smiling back at him. What the hell what happening? I don't know but I just loved it.

I was intrigued, captivated and I had a thousand questions to ask him. I felt good to just feel his presence. I felt the room wasn’t as dark now or cold. The sun surrounding him, behind him made him even more....beautiful. I loved his warm smile, his eyes…yes, his eyes were the ones made me feel all this and to have all these questions, to know more, so dark and intense, that I realized I was captivated by them. He was an apparition. I was happy he was there and his eyes ...deep so deep, so deep, so deep....my brothers sarcasm woke me up from my little dream staring at Nicolas eyes.

I held the cloak and boots and thanked them but I could not stop finding myself stupidly looking or smiling back at Nicolas contagious smile and aura. His father then explained to me how they have found the wolves, my mare and dogs. They buried them at that same place and then they made the cloak with the last wolf, the one that almost killed me. His voice was like white noise, I was still starlet and curious by Nicolas.

It was time for them to leave and after the formal goodbyes, no such thing has done in my family for years as we have lost care to be pompous but thins time we had to pretend as well. I just followed his manners as best as I could. Imitating the vows and when Nicolas approached, he whispered “Only the impossible can do the impossible” by my ear. His voice was so soft I loved it it was like a soft touch - after my brother mocked at me in front of them- I smiled almost immediately and turned my face to him that I almost kissed his cheek. He was even more handsome just saying that in response to my brothers , I smiled again. And they left.

I went back up to my mothers room show her what the brought me and obviously I started to ask about Nicolas. My mother told me to go and be friends with him. I opposed. Why he would really be friends with me. I am not rich, I don’t play an instrument, I can’t even read! Why the hell should we talk about?

I thought about it for a few days and what finally made me to go down to the village and meet with him was …because I knew he was more than money or great looks. He had something and not even words could explain. And I really wanted to meet him. I felt a connection or it was more like a pull feeling.

So I finally went to the village and went to the Inn wearing the new boots and cloak and he came in like a swirl of light, once again that powerful light that made me smile immediately. It made me feel comfortable and I felt that feeling wrapped around me. Something that was unknown to me until then.

So as we talked for hours in that cozy warm room at the Inn, and we became more and more happy and drunk I was more and more fascinated by his perspectives and intelligence, I loved every single moment of his stories, words, descriptions of what he was and experience in Paris. I listened to him with attention and I looked at him while he explained to me and I know, even as drunk as I was, that it was no manner to do so but I could not help myself. He wanted to know about the wolves but he proceeded to explain about Paris and his life there all these years. It was a big dream for me and he made it sound so amazing. I felt so comfortable. And the more he spoke the more I wanted to know about him.

I was not only smitten but his looks, his eyes still made me speechless and even now sometimes I can’t still hold my gaze to his because is so intense so beautiful so deep that it makes me shy. Yes. Makes me blush and shy. Eyes that I want to know and embrace and go deep in them and see and feel and reach out his soul and listen to it and love and care and feel.

He told me about his experiences in Paris while he studied there, good and bad ones. He didn’t have a good an easy childhood either. His father wasn’t nice to him either. We had so much in common and I felt bad he had to go through all of that as well.

He was strong after all he went through and Nicolas always kept my chin up, he was there all the time with me now, he understood more about me as I slowly opened myself to my most vulnerable part of me, something I don't like to do but it was safe to do so with him. Yes! safe. I felt safe and I could be me. And I was there for him to do the same when he was not having a good day.

We had the same hate for things. The same love, the same strength. He had his ideas and I had mine and together collapsed like thousand colors and we had so very deep meaningful conversations that I was amazed I could even think of before. Conversations that I would have never imagined to have with anyone in my family, because they would have called me crazy or to shut up or they would have simply said something stupid and ignorant. None of my family members ever sat with me to talk about anything. Never.

So there I was amazed by this man on all aspects. His voice, his intelligence, his mentality, his views, how grateful I felt to have him in my life. How grateful I felt he trusted me when no one else did.

Now there I was sharing my whole life with this magnificent, amazing, beautiful, intelligent, dedicated, talented, strong, direct, intense, cynic, sarcastic, fun, warm, tender, caring, precious…. person. I felt happy now at the village and living there at least had some meaning. I had someone to share my life with. Finally. And I could not see anything wrong about Nicolas. All I saw was light and love and good things even if he said he wasn’t like that, for ME, he was perfect. I was blinded and I didn’t see his imperfections - if he ever had one - I never saw one and if he had some, I loved them as well.

Fast forward… years, centuries later… life has passed, pain and tears and ups and downs…. I am still amazed how some people still do not realize that, none member of the Coven knows me, me, as mortal. Only Gabrielle and Nicolas. As vampire and after all I went through the years, I became more bitter, direct, still caring but I don’t give a damn on somethings, I still do what I think its best and I'm still me ……but, think about it. Now that I am explaining all the above about Nicolas, let me say this.

He was there since we were kids. He grew up knowing about me and I grew up knowing about him, until he left to study to Paris and lost track of him when he left. But after he returned, we shared our mortal life together. He KNOWS me as me. He has seen me wake up in the morning and eat. There was no vampiric blood when me and Nicolas first met. We had hours, days, months of continuous mortal life together, side by side. No one else of this coven has shared a mortal life with me ever. None of them ever saw me hunting. Or drunk on wine at noon, or eating fruits under the Orchard or walking under the sun, or seeing bruises and blood on my body because my brothers or father just decided that whatever I brought home wasn’t what they needed and I protested and I was beaten or for whatever reason was on their miserable lives they were just up to beat me. No one shared my awful mortal life at the Village but Nicolas. No one but Nicolas travelled days with me on the way to Paris. No one but Nicolas shared body and soul as mortals. Not even Gabrielle knows some of my intimate moments, something I’ve only shared with Nicolas.

Nicolas De Lenfent, my match, my opposite, my sun, my moon, my lover, my brother, my strength, my best friend, my guide, my support, my silent voice when I need a guide…MY Nicki. More than two hundred years and that feeling is still with me. I can’t give up; I’ll never give up. I don’t want to give up.

Forgive me for never having the strength to go in search for you back then. Forgive me for not understanding you when I thought I did. Forgive me for what I have failed you on any matter.

I am here now and I've got you. Don't be afraid. I will always hold you tight.

You are my beautiful monster as I am yours (I said that with a smile and caring loving way because I know that will drawn a smirk on his lips because he thinks he is one, so ok, I am one too and I love Nicolas monster to my core, lets be two happy monsters together).

You deserved so much more. Brilliant, marvelous, Intelligent, beautiful strong soul. Such a huge ray of light. You deserve so much more. Anything for you.

@monsieur-nicolas-de-lenfent

#lestat de lioncourt #nicolas de lenfent #lestat x nicki #//i think they call each other monster on a loving way :-)#//lestat knows nicolas is NOT a monster is just a loving way #//Nicolas has always been a huge part to lestats life and always will

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princelestatdelioncourt · 2 years ago

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Nicolas voice was so soft, like a dream. It was there but it was far. Like when one is starting to falling asleep and you hear everything far yet you know it’s in the same room. I remember that same voice tone as I was falling asleep on his arms so many times back at the village or Paris. His voice always gave me trust, believe, strength, feeling secure …love, care, understanding… And now here, we were united by this magical union, by our blood, by our souls. So intimate.

His body next to mine, feeling his embrace and I wanted to give him all my love and understanding and strength. “I am yours too my Nicki…” I said that not even moving my lips but with the images. Was he able to hear me? I hoped so. His blood was so sweet and electrifying, such hot summer nectar. Crisp fall day. Universe and shooting stars.

I knew I could be addicted to him again as much as I was when we shared our dry old wine and I tasted it from his lips. To look into his eyes and get lost or when I had to go hunting but instead as soon as I woke up, I went to Nicolas home, if we didn’t spend the night together, but we inseparable since we met again that day I went to finally meet him at the Inn. These were my days. Just him and no one else. That’s when I realized…that I could be happy even with all the misery that surrounded us and that no one could steal him from me this now….and Magnus to break all our dreams.

I felt his body move slowly, like a soft touch, comforting but I didn’t want to move. I was still tasting his blood. Just a very small scar. I didn’t want to hurt him and I wanted him to be strong with my blood. But…Would that change him? Would this be like when I drank from Akasha for nights and then I was like a zombie for years? I just hoped that wouldn’t be the case. I was not an ancient. This could not happen to Nicki. Although I have to confess it scared me to know now he was drinking from me more than ever.

I slowly stopped tasting his blood and came back to reality but I didn’t move, I didn’t want to move. I felt his lips on my neck, his tongue getting all my blood. “I will never leave you Nicki, drink until you cant anymore” I whispers softly. I felt his body less tensed and my hand slid down to his chest, feeling his heart on my hand beating strong at the same pace of mine. Our hearts dancing together. Our song. Our conversation. It was perfect. It was a relief that I felt Nicolas calm and hopefully happier and stronger just with the thought if my blood will change him but I was praying it would now.

I kissed where I made the scar, I kissed his ear, I felt how he was taking all of me. I needed to feel him and now I could not stop my mind imaging his eyes closed and his perfect eyelashes, his jaw, his dark hair, he was like these angels drawn on a biblical book and his tinted lips tasting my blood…his lips…. I felt tasting my own and I smiled…

I moved back up slowly waiting on his move, ready but not ready to whatever he will do, say or do to me now…

Loneliness was their kind’s curse. He thought he could face loneliness. What a fool he had been.

#lestat x nicolas #lestat #nicolas

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princelestatdelioncourt · 2 years ago

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His words were made with fire coming from his heart and soul. His eyes locked with mine and I could not look away. I was searching in them I was trying to go in deep in them as I did so many times before. Deep black ocean, deep black universe with a magnificent light. His eyes were like staying in the middle of the ocean and surrounded by millions of stars. And I was the only one seeing these starts. I don’t think Nicki could even see them. But I saw them since the first time we met, even when we were just two young kids at the village. Bight sunlight on a spring day behind him, smiling, laughing, round and round dancing to the village songs from these old festivities, his eyes….were trying to smile. His eyes, were saying thousand words his body, his lips could not say. It was like a silence call “Lestat…I understand you…I need you…can you see me?” so I remember looking at him and responding without words but just our eyes locked, pretending to be happy “Yes I see you…I know… I am here…. I need you too…”

How it was possible that two young kids could even feel that way? How its possible that not even knowing each other we could feel that much. And no one, ever, was like that to us. How could not our families see that! That we needed to be understood and to be loved and appreciated. That we just wanted to be happy.

And now, here he was, in my arms once again like so many nights at the inn. He was that young man again desperate to be understood and to be loved. We were these kids again, we were these teenagers again, we were these adult men again. We have that silent conversation again.

His heart beating fast, his soft thumb over my lips, so soft, I just wanted to kiss it. My soul was completely open and I just felt safe. Safe to be me again. To not pretend as I always felt with Nicolas. Safe to be vulnerable and never afraid to be hurt or punished back by him. Ever.

I listened to him carefully, holding him close to me and after a moment, I don’t even know how long it took to finally be able to say a word. I was flooded with so many emotions, I finally spoke softly.

“I don’t give a damn what they say or what they think. I want to protect you too and I want to learn from you again. I want to learn what you feel, what you need, not ever questioning to why. We were so young at the village and everything was so new to us. Me the dreamer and you with much more experience in life…you were my dream. My spark. My happiness.” Then after a brief second, I recalled when Nicolas called Magnus Casper and chuckled briefly “and Casper… I hate him as well. Hell, he could have taken both of us and made us...now I could read your mind” I smiled some trying to make him smile as I always did when we had our conversations then I went back to be more serious “But yes, things were not done properly for us. I’ve tried to hide any emotions I felt for you and our life and they still cant understand but just to ask questions which I try to avoid”

I came closer to Nicolas caressing his cheek, feeing his soft skin and his heart beat and his blood running a thousand miles in his veins. Remembering his offer to take his blood. I came closer leaning my head to the side, offering me, my neck to him. I was so close to him, I think we even formed the ying yang form, we were so perfectly positioned to each other and we made a perfect form.

“Take me�� I whispered by his ear so softly snuggling my face on him “drink until you can’t anymore…”

I held him so carefully my embrace was like silk wrapped around. My hand holding his head, his dark silky hair, his essence… I kissed his neck and so carefully I brushed my fangs over his skin. “Never be afraid…trust me… I am here and I will never leave you no matter what…. I love you..” and when I said these three words that I always struggle to say but I was so completely vulnerable to him, I poured them out of me with all my soul. Trusting him that I was completely open and vulnerable. So off guard, so open and vulnerable that If I was struck by the most weak vampire in the world, I would get hurt.

My fang created a small cut and his blood touched my lips. There was not me again. I became like a blanket wrapped around Nicolas, trying to warm him and giving him comfort. The safe blanket the kids run around with. My lips opened more and I was locked…and the dreams and visions started.

The village, the orchard tree, the wine, the spring, so sunny bright, he was smiling so big smile, so happy, his violin, our song…Paris, our apartment, the theatre…the stage. Our song again, it was so bight inside the theatre and it was just the two of us. Nicki playing, me on the stage… a laugh, that laugh, Magnus. Nicki stopped playing and the darkness started to surround him… "Lestat! Lestat!" I could only hear his voice screaming my name Lestat! Then cries, cold, so cold, cold dark room, a crypt. Sobbing. Nicolas was in pain, darkness, storms, so so dark place... and there was the end of what I’ve saw many years ago when I first drank from him and ran away scared and unable to know what to do or what to say...I was so naive.…I did so wrong on running away...but this time I fought… I fought to go through that invisible wall that separated us. Through that darkness that surrounded him and I found him. I was in that room with him now. I could not help with the wounds he already had on him, too late but all I could do is to be there with him. To support him through the pain, despair, anger.... He was on the cold wet stone floor…I knelt and held him. "I am here". I repeated over and over. "I am here…" I felt my eyes with bloody tears , I was crying holding him tight. "I cant stop this nightmare but I am here Nicki. We are together in this now. Your pain will be mine, your anger will be mine. We will walk in this road together." I held him and reassured him I would never leave his side no matter what. I saw what he saw over the years but he would not be alone now, I was now there with him. “I am here…I understand you…I know… I wish I could stop this… I am here…I love you...” and as I said that over and over, I saw myself with the same wounds he has suffering over the years and we went through all these memories. I was not scared. My will and love was more powerful than anything else. I never left this time, I held him as he went through all these years alone and in pain. We were one. And we always will.

I moved back up slowly waiting on his move, ready but not ready to whatever he will do, say or do to me now…

Loneliness was their kind’s curse. He thought he could face loneliness. What a fool he had been.

#lestat x nicolas #lestat #nicolas #// so many emotions.... so deep....

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princelestatdelioncourt · 2 years ago

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It broke me into pieces the way Nicki just opened himself now. And I knew exactly all he was feeling but I was afraid if something else has happened to him because he was in so much need and that pain and loneliness, still not daring to ask about that matter yet… I embraced him tighter. Holding his head against my chest while he spoke, his tight embrace like if someone would come from that window and rip him off from me. Which once, it happened that way, that night Magnus came and kidnapped me from Nicki’s arms. And I knew he hated him for that.

I thought on Nicki’s words and gave time to recollect mine. I knew I could not lie to him to the main reason why I remodeled the whole Estate and the village then I finally spoke with a soft tone. My head vowed down looking at our arms holding each other’s.

“I did it because I’ve missed it. It hurt for so many years to even thinking about it but it was like a silent call that I had to come back. It is like keeping what it makes me feel me, as I was, when we met and right now it is as it how it was supposed to be when you were there too. You’ve seen that chateau almost in ruins, dirty, dark, we were poor...my room, bare and cold. The village with these medieval buildings, the tavern and our room, your fathers shop and your home and your room. All and everything is now how it needed to be. And I kept that secret to myself all this time” And there I went on to explain

“I felt ashamed when you came and saw the dirt, felt the cold and how my life was there, so I said to myself, one day maybe around Paris, I could give you a nice life. That we would have money, and live in nice home and for to have you all you deserve because as you know I sometimes show my love with gifts because I don’t know how to do it with words or other actions. So many times I’ve dreamed of how these rooms supposed to look like on its best with velvet curtains and a comfortable bed with cotton sheets and silky comforters and pillows, a warm fireplace. We deserved a better life Nicki. A beautiful home, a loving family, to be happy and celebrate and dance on these marble floors to your songs. As I went onto check on the evolution of the remodeling, I could not but see us walking down the big hall or just talking by the fireplace or dance on these ball nights, missing you terribly and to know that now that I can have a beautiful room, that I have a nice home and a loving welcoming appreciative family, you were not there. That was before we reunited a couple years ago. “

“I’ve had so many vivid dreams; you were there with me and I could give you all that splendor now and you were smiling. So, if you want now to come one night to visit or to stay, I cannot ask you to work on anything as a labor if that’s what you mean, I would like to show you everything but you would be free do you as you wish. To be sincere and open, Gabrielle is never around, Marius is painting most of the time, David travels to London…Armand is…. still to this day we are still on that love/hate relationship and Louis… he never does anything with me. Not hating him, and you can ask me if you want about me and him or anyone. He it’s just, bland and always reserved and on his world and I need…. I need you to make this sparkle in me and make me alive. If you come, he would not say anything to you and I know the others will welcome you as well because everyone knows, I’m sure they do at this point, how much you mean to me. I would just never accept any rumors towards you or anyone to hurt you. Your compositions, your music to be heard and loved by our “new” family if you want to do that. Anything you want to help with…I just can’t think of anything now…we can figure that out. I am just happy to just to have you here now, my mind lost its track” I gave a small smile, I was truly lost.

The feeling of his lips on my forehead. Home. I begged in silence for them to stay there. Please don’t move. I didn’t realize until that moment of how much I was craving for that simple touch. No one ever did this to me but him. Not Gabrielle, not Louis, not Marius, no one…Nicki and only Nicki. I closed my eyes and let that feeling go through all my body, it was warm. It was just like a safe wrapping warm blanket around me and reassuring me, Everything will be ok Lestat.

Opening my eyes slowly as I felt him move apart then I kissed his bloody tears off his cheek close to his eye. The taste of his blood on my lips was different this time. It was just welcoming, familiar, warm. Open to me, needing me.

“You make me feel like that kid at the witches place, trying to stay strong but finally broken into tears, trying to run away from that place but once I felt your presence, once you embraced me and you were telling me its alright then I felt better” I smiled some remembering these moments then to back in deep memories “We felt like burden with our mortal families” I said shaking my head, feeling that rage, our mortal days at the village “but you are not a burden Nicki, never, ever. I want to stay here with you as long as you want me to. I need you. I need my best friend and I need myself just to be me. Here with you now it just feels right. It just feels home. A secure place I can come in and talk without being judged just like I did as mortal when my father or brothers fought with me and I was hurt or to just continue our conversation…I always went to you when I was not hunting. I always saw light in you. Part of me is incomplete without you. The sun and the moon as we called it.”

And remembering Magnus made my face expression change “Yes….I still hate Magnus” my head now resting back on the head board. Looking towards the window. “He is a ghost and comes and goes as a form and even we had a talk five years ago, I still cant forgive him for that night and is my fault I should have told you what happened immediately but I didn’t know how. That night I laid on the roof top of our apartment in Paris and you sensed me…the pain and fighting with myself wanting to see you desperately but at the same time I could not. So I preferred you to hate me than me hurting you.

I looked back down at him and I caressed his temple, slowly down to his jaw. Perfectly shaped. Gently I lifted up his face to me and I vended down and kissed his bloody tears. They had a different taste now, they were cold but open, they were fiery but in need, they were lonely and desperate, to be loved. I knew he was hungry; I knew he was in pain; I knew he wanted my company; I knew the way he felt. I looked into his deep dark eyes, these eyes I always loved to look at and get lost and always wondering what they were seeing and the depths, what they were feeling.

“Allow me to do it again Nicki. To do it correctly this time, to stay with you and give you what you need and what you always needed from me all this time since the beginning. A friend, a lover, a brother, a companion…I don’t give a damn on the maker thing because there was never superiority between us. We are equal. Allow me to help you to make you feel better, to give you strength and …just to make everything alright this time.” My thumb almost caressing his bottom lip “drink from me for all we had to go through since we were kids, for what has happened after, and now for your hunger, your pain, your anger and for me, for us, to heal our souls, our love, you the only one that knows me as me before any of this happened. Allow me to give you my blood once more as I gave you me my soul and body and all I could afford to buy when I was mortal, for forgiveness on this pain we feel because none of what has happened were in our plans…for everything Nicki…and only if you want…”

I stared at him feeling so vulnerable, so lost on my own words and on his gaze as my words poured out of me. Once again, I wasn’t sure what he would do or say. If he would accept my blood which was one of the most intimate ways to reach in to our souls and hold tight to each other and support each other and heal our wounds and to be united again. So I just stared at him, feeling small, just us in that room, nothing more.

I moved back up slowly waiting on his move, ready but not ready to whatever he will do, say or do to me now…

Loneliness was their kind’s curse. He thought he could face loneliness. What a fool he had been.

#lestat x nicolas #lestat #nicolas

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princelestatdelioncourt · 2 years ago

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Listening to his familiar voice, that deep tone, no joking now, not being playful not even being cynic. It was his soul speaking, talking to me. Openly like the breeze on the ocean. I could hear his voice sometimes almost to the broken point and I know he was holding it because, none of us ever liked to be seen vulnerable. Since we were young, we always walked around with fake smiles and with the “everything is ok” but inside we were in a turmoil. I was listening to every single word he said like never before.

“No Nicki no, you bring to me such a unique light and you make the best of me its inexplicable. I was not completed when you were away, I could not feel complete” I said like in a whisper kissing the top of his hair. His soft silky dark hair I was so in love with. “I know you never meant to hurt me, I truly do. You felt despair and pain and you followed your heart and it’s alright. You didn’t have to explain me what you wanted to do at that moment” Then I confessed something “I re built the village and the castle not only because I was on that state of mind where I did not care and i could not give up on my past, our past and to how many times I came across to someone that looked similar to you and I found myself hypnotized. I did all of that because I…I did for you. You deserved so much more. A marquis son giving you beautiful presents and asking you to dance in that large room and to for you to see we had a family that loved us and we both were happy ….I did all this because that’s what I wanted to experience with you. Because I wanted to give you the world we deserved. How things were supposed to be. No one has ever that finally piece of the puzzle but you to complete me, not even Louis”

Arms still wrapped around him my hand found his and I laced my fingers with his. His pain was pouring out of him “You wanted to be left alone after all the turmoil. I completely understand. I let myself to be like a vagabond for a few years. I didn’t care to change clothes or looked like. So monotone life. Nothing had colors anymore. You felt lost and nothing had any sense anymore, thinking you are just a monster ready to kill once again or just starve. We both went through that and survived and that made us stronger. That pain that never erased. And that’s why we are inseparable not matter what happens to us. Marius, Gabrielle, Louis… they cant give me what you can Nicki. Never,”

I kissed the top of his head again and smiled remembering that night we met again after centuries. And then the night I gave him the blood. So intense. “I never wanted to hurt you when you received the blood from me and I thought giving you the blood would make you feel ok again. I’m sorry it hurt you more. Magnus never told me anything, that old devil I cant still forgive yet" I said that with anger, I still hate Magnus for that "but I am happy that Santino was your mentor. I’ll always be grateful for that but ashamed I was not the one I was supposed to be by your side., I hope one night ...you can forgive me for that”

When he spoke about Santiago it broke my heart in thousand pieces and I could not but feel my eyes in tears because I saw myself on that same pain I felt when that letter came from Eleni saying Nicki was dead. I lifted his face gently with my finger under his chin and I looked down into his eyes. My vision blurry with red tears. “I wish I could do something to erase that pain, I wish I could reach onto your heart and heal it with my love and erase the dumb feeling and emptiness of someone your cared and loved deeply and that you still hold in your heart. I would never make you change that Nicki. I wish I could turn back time and nothing of this ever happened as I am the one who started all this. How I can …do anything for you and your heart and soul to heal some? I thought I had lost you too centuries ago and is an unbearable feeling." I wished I was able to explain better my feelings and support but I was never good on that and I hoped he could understand "We can cry together, hold each other together if that will erase a little bit of that pain….think of him together and share these beautiful moments if that will help as well.”

I tighten my hand with his, bloody tears, my embrace, holding him so close to me, I don’t think any more words were needed at that moment and I just let the room breathe our pain, breathe what we both were feeling. Silent cries, bloody tears, our demons inside of us burning our soul and just us letting the pain out and not hiding any of that. My other hand caressing his hair gently and slowly, feeling numb but completely open to him. And there we were, holding each other, just the two of us, the room around us like a giant mouth and the world outside roaming alive on the young night.

I gave him time to release, decompress, express what he was holding for so long, I let him cry as long as he wanted to, I just wanted to hold him tightly and be there and at the same time, heal my own wounds with my own shame and fears and guilt for all I have done wrong to him and in my life. It was a mutual healing or at least a step closer to something that would make us continue in this Savage Garden carrying that pain. Then I whispered these three words I don't say often, words that stay stuck in my throat because the last time I've said these without any struggles, I was mortal and then everything happened, Now, looking numb into the void, my hand still caressing Nicolas hair and holding him tight against me, protecting him, I whispered "I love you". Not expecting him to reply back, not expecting any response...as so many times I said these to the void and no response was ever heard but emptiness. My soul just spoke now and my lips just made the sounds. Would that make him feel better? Would he understand what I meant to say with these words of so many meanings and more than just love? I hoped so.

I moved back up slowly waiting on his move, ready but not ready to whatever he will do, say or do to me now…

Loneliness was their kind’s curse. He thought he could face loneliness. What a fool he had been.

#lestat x nicolas #lestat #nicolas

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