#i dont check this blog anymore | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fatuifucker · 11 months ago

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hiyaaa I wanna do a little rant/commentary on my lesbian experience but a focus on the genshin fandom because I do be thinking about it at 2am, feel free to ignore I just wanted to get my thoughts on and see if anyone relates

you see, I could never fathom being lesbian because I never experienced the same things my peers had. I never thought "ew men I would never date a man" until recently, I never realised I was attracted to women until my early teens, I never liked fictional women the way I like fictional men.

I see my sapphic peers passionately advocating for eimiko, beiguang, jeanlisa, etc but I couldn't care less and I never actively searched for those ships either. whenever I try to read fics like that, I couldn't connect with it the way I connected with mlm ships or straight pairings sometimes. until now, I still don't understand why I feel this way.

I try so hard to write reader x fem characters but it never comes out right despite me doing massive research on the character and I don't know why. when I write it, it doesn't feel natural, it feels forced, it doesn't feel right.

I don't understand why because I know I only like non-men irl and I abhor the idea of marrying a man. I feel disgusted at the thought of kissing a man. but I feel safe doing all those things with a woman.

at times, I wonder if I really am a lesbian. usually I feel like I'm a fraud because of these experiences lol but what do you guys think?

#oh yeah little update if you're wondering about me #ive left the genshin fandom #i dont remember if ive announced it i probably did #i dont check this blog anymore #also been busy with school and work #my bpd is kicking my ass but i might be seeing a psych soon so yayy #speaking of bpd sucker will definitely be completed but i will have to cut some chapters because i dont have the willpower to stretch it out #requests and event shit will be finished too #thank you for your patience

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redstonedust · 5 months ago

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okay i dont usually step out of my lane on this but i keep seeing people proudly saying they're reporting all the fundraiser asks they get because theyre ''probably scams'' and its like... you know nobody is forcing you to engage, right? it's not a choice between reporting and donating, you can politely delete an ask if you're uncertain about it. jumping to reporting someone because you don't have the time or knoweldge to check their story when theres a chance they're a real person in need is just... cruel. needlessly cruel.

#also tricks like checking how old a blog is dont work anymore #because a lot of these people arent trying to masquerade as existing tumblr users. they made an account to seek help #like i get it. i dont post most of the asks i get bc i cant vet them. but im aware thats a choice im privilaged to be able to make ykno #free palestine

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fuzzyrain · 2 months ago

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Decrepit restaurant

Wonder what happened here....

List of mods used:

Axiom

Handcrafted

Farmer's delight

Let's do! Vinery

Let's do! Meadow

Let's do! Herbal brews

Let's do! Candelight

Let's do! Bakery

Macaw's windows

Shaders: Complementary shaders

#mineblr #minecraft #aesthetic #minecraft build #modded minecraft #axiom #my own post #mod list probably not complete - i dont have the modpack available anymore so i cant check what mods i used :(#my own builds #anyways yes im posting for the first time in.... forever!!! just been really getting back into mc lately #so that reminded me of this blog... cant promise i wont dissapear again but!! yeah ;^^#interior

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go-go-garraty · 1 year ago

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McVries so crazy you never know when he's just broeing around or when he's about to ask Garraty if they could explore each other's bodies

If they all survived McVries would be asking him to marry him just like he did with Priscilla

You say that as if broing around and exploring each other's bodies wasn't synonymous

Dude he fucking would and the worst part is that garraty wouldn't say yes but he also wouldn't say no so they would just end up moving out together in a weird homoerotic situation

#hey sorry this has been here forever because i dont check this blog anymore lol #the long walk #peter mcvries #ray garraty #gavries

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dandyshucks · 10 months ago

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blinks tiredly. i decide "hm maybe i should try to expand my circle and step outside of it a little, lets go look at the main community tags" and im just greeted with a bunch of edgelords who think saying "fiction doesn't affect reality, don't like don't read" is peak activism and "fighting censorship". head in my hands. this is partially why i do not ever go into the community tags, my nervous system cannot handle blocking fifty weirdos every single day just so i can have a normal experience in the community tags hfdsjkl

#I HAVE SO MANY PEOPLE BLOCKED ALREADY. i am TRYING to curate my experience 😭😭😭#and i have so many tags blacklisted fjdsjkl like. so many. every single variation of tag to do with those chuckleheads #which helps avoid them a lot of the time tbh bc it'll flag posts that ppl rb if the original post was tagged w any of those #so i can avoid rbing posts that have chuckleheads as the op most of the time #i also usually double check OP's blog before i rb stuff now bc man this place is rife with these weirdos #ANYWAYS. yes i want to try to engage w the community but i do not think i can handle it if theres gonna be so many edgelords jkdslfl #the only way i follow new ppl now is when yall do promo hour and i sometimes see a new face pop up fdsjkl #every now and then i have energy to try to engage with new ppl but its so difficult when so many ppl are such insufferable edgelords !!!!#''im the nasty pr-sh-pper your parents warned you about 😎'' cool man you sound like the most insufferably obnoxious person ever. :/#''if you like CENSORSHIP-'' i am hitting block immediately bc u have a fundamental misunderstanding of what censorship actually is 👍#I'M TIREDDDD WHY ARE PEOPLE SO DUMB ABOUT THIS STUFF. ''fiction doesn't affect reality'' I GUESS PROPAGANDA DOESNT EXIST THEN ????#what a strange world they live in honestly. they dont understand how stories have served humans since the dawn of time. sighing loudly.#vent //#SORRY FOR THIS ONE IM JUST. ARGH. ppl talk abt encouraging community but i think maybe im not cut out for community #i want desperately to partake but i cannot handle it if it means dealing w all these bozos #it frustrates me to no end fdhsjkl and it upsets me so much and i wish i could deal w it better but. my nervous system is broken fdsjkl #i will try to expand my circle every now and then but i cannot do it often bc of this 😭 im not going to give up entirely though fdsjkl #(also this is partially why i dont tag my posts w community tags anymore bc i am just. so scared of these freaks getting their hands on it)#(the most i'll do is s.afeship or variations every now n then bc supposedly they're not in those tags fdsjkl)#delete later #dandyshucks

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penisbilt · 8 months ago

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the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now

#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL #really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us #ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great #extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore #the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog #its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow #i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating #i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one #i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it #theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget #anyway. anyway.#our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by #there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!'#we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad #cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now #maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that #im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away #ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free #i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20 #i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her #but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more #maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know #because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before #i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years #i dunno. i dont know #anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process #the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months #the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time #when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move #just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend

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elipheleh · 1 year ago

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David the beagle, princehenryuk instagram

#stills #my favourite character #rwrb #rwrb movie #red white and royal blue #these have probably been posted but i am not checking the tag anymore to avoid spoilers & want them on my blog #alt text added #also people dont add alt text so i want to have some up with that #rwrb instagram

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shopcat · 9 days ago

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blocking a 15 year old running an ed blog is more concerning than upsetting 😭 i'm very sorry some of you are going through what you are especially if you are so young but understand i am in recovery and don't want you interacting with me at all and if you're over 20 doing this shit you gotta go ahead and die you really should be ashamed of yourself

#🐉#i also can't tell you guys what to do but the community you're in is horrible and you're harming each other and yourselves through it #and you will feel better about yourself in general even if you still struggle with your ed if you get out of these communities and stop #posting about it in the way that you are. like with motivations or body checking or goal weights in the bio #like you aren't a bad person for struggling with an ed or wanting to vent about it but indulging in it is going to kill you #and ik that's the point for some of you but i have also BEEN THEREEEE and also know that you just dont want to feel so awful anymore #and step one of that is not making yourself miserable on purpose by running a blog encouraging yourself and others to hurt yourselves ..#like seriously delete the damn blog even if you make another one for venting only that's better than anything currently going on #ed tw #oh and as for the last thing i said like yeah i have obvious empathy and compassion for anyone struggling but if you're a fully grown adult #encouraging kids to starve themselves you're like pure evil

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nicky-jr · 9 months ago

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shoutout gothcleats shippers o7

#rambling #idk i feel like as a dndads blog im legally obligated to make A post abt it #but idk! it was fun #sad about normal but glad everyone else got a happy ending #(warning i get like. pointlessly negative/personal beyond this point)#but idk. ive been so checked out of s2 that i feel like. detached?#like makes me feel shitty to admit this but i just dont really care #idk if that has to do with my disinterest with the season. or just not being fixated anymore #or just my own mental state as of recent #it just makes me really sad that i feel this way about a series i adore #i dunno. i'd like to do a relisten of s2 so i can really pinpoint what about it frustrates/bores me #but rn i just cant be bothered #dont get me wrong i love this season!!! i feel the need to clarify any time i get negative about it #i love the characters and most of the plot and there were things i found really really compelling #and god its SOOO FUCKING FUNNY #my venting comes from a place of love yknow #but yeah tldr i have like literally no strong thoughts on the finale atm. it was fine #but im excited for the future #dndads s2 spoilers

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linktube · 1 month ago

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unfortunately following a blog here doesnt mean much to me anymore since i most frequently just check tags when i want to see something spesific rather than scroll thru my whole timeline

#me following somebody and immedietly forgetting their existence since they dont really post under whatever tags that currently interest me #before i made a tumblr account waaay back i would just go to spesific blogs i found pretty to check what they post for a long time #mostly fashion/aesthetic stuff at the time #i still go to spesific blogs sometimes like its a website to check on something spesific (but i dont follow them? idk why lol)#i guess i was a blog reader and a frequent (fandom) forum visiter/poster before i found tumblr and it happened to somewhat allign with thos #habits. yall are still blogs to me not accounts ^^#i used have two separete tumblr accounts one for more art stuff/traditional paintings one for just fandom things (zayn hehe)#i think thats why i dont scroll much anymore because when i want to see something here i just want to see that. not varied other stuff #i would curate my basic art blog on my account on laptop and just scroll on my empthy fan account on my phone to check up on things #i always say this one good thing about twitter is being able to have seperate timelines/following list/likes for your different accounts #that you can switch easily from your current device!!! let me curate my timeline more goddamit lol

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sanchoyo · 6 months ago

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hate hate hate how you have to make a twitter account to see ppls tweets now. like I deleted mine for a reason (rancid bad vibes + more ads and bots than posts) but some artists I like are ONLY on twt and :( man... I get how annoying having 23434 social medias to post stuff on is. im not really annoyed at the artists who do that (just having 1 place for their art) but im annoyed at the websites that do this -_- let me innn

#i know theres ways to get around it with 3rd party stuff but im rly not interested in doing all that. tbh #cant say tumblr or ig are much better at this #insta is mostly functional on mobile only if u have the app and an account (can be accessed thru firefox but-#if u dont have an account u can only see so many posts from someone and i think #tumblr is the same both on and off mobile if u dont have an account? last time i checked)#nd all the other art specific apps are too unknown like. cara just hasnt gained enough traction for me to be interested in joining yet #bluesky just looks like a twt clone to me and i was not interested in being on twt or its format anymore #devarts rebranding/reskinning drove me off entirely its SO bad now . ugly #the problem with a lot of those 'for artists by artists!' websites is uhh #artists NEED nonartists on a website to make money #most ppl looking for commissions are NOT artists in my experience so being on sites like insta or tumblr #where a lot of the ppl can just blog or post their own cute pics or whatever and stumble across artists?#way way better than sites that are ~artists only~. is this a hot take #lol #this got way off topic basically websites should let u browse whether or not u have an account. that is All #sanchoyorambles

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something-in-your-walls · 6 months ago

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I'm glad you’re not going to have Splotch swoop as low as he did in tetocu (other than possessing ree, which he still does there). Or he could possess Lavatore (given the Camoflush episode still happens here, that’s unlikely).

And yay for no zombee Melvins. That bee epsiode was so scary. It was literally CU World War Z.

But Queen Zombee was born from Melvinborg making adjustments to the school… and he doesn't take over the school here.

Dear Lord, are the boys gonna get Zombee'd? And side note: I do not want the dummy to be there. That dummy is another one of the main reasons the bee episode was so disturbing.

And I don't think the MISFARTS debut episode would happen in this AU, because of Melvinborg not taking over the school

YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT ALL OF THIS!!!! DING DING DING MOTHERFUCKER the zombee episode does not infact happen sorry dude i forgot to make that clear but season two BASICALLY happens season two's basically a mismash of season two villains that WORK in the sk timeline and original villains

#oh right if you wanna ask sk HIMSELF anything #check out my rp blog #@secret-keeper-speaks #he talks about random shit there #i dont promote it very often anymore #but i still post there sometimes #secret keeper captain underpants au #sk captain underpants au #captain underpants #ask sammy

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obnoxiousarcade · 7 months ago

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I have a longing to be understood more than anything else i think