#i don't want to be sentient anymore

[i048596]

[kaisollisto]

based off of this

Today is frigid and windy, she feels it unforgivingly on her cheeks. Clouds part around her, clinging to her jagged features. They are wet and stifling, a brushing reminder of what she cannot have. It is the only thing claimed from the earth she can touch.

She passes above skylines and craggy mountains and watches. The earth is still cold and unyielding and she yearns for it in a reckless way. A silly wish to feel all that it has to offer in her mouth. She wants to touch, to feel the grainy sands between her fingers and find sand in horrible unbefitting places. The encapsulating experience of teetering the fine line of tasting the sun and burning herself. She wants to be down there.  

She’s heard many names weaved in between her. There are many she’s been called but one that has truly stuck with her, Ava. 

A soft sound pressed between lips, a gentle thing for a large entity like her. She likes to believe that’s who she was before this, a force too big to contain that she had to become this. A mangled thing of roots and chunks of dirt. 

It’s better this way, someone tells her in a foggy haze, she’s fighting them, a sloppy sluggish battle of desperation. Ava doesn’t know why but the memory lingers like a prolonged goodbye. A sort of awkward suspension holding her rooted to the spot like there’s more to it, a truth sitting in plain sight. 

(pt 2.)

[here-there-were-dragons]

my mother is absolutely convinced of some nonsense conspiracy theory that (in her words) "originally humanity lived in peaceful all-woman societies of goddess worshippers who took care of eachother and lived in harmony, while males were roving loners that had no society and never cooperated. that changed when the men banded together and overthrew the peaceful woman-dominated societies, and enslaved us all." and, according to her, this is proof that a woman-dominated world would be innately more peaceful, and that men are innately violent and evil and should be either barred from holding any legal power or leadership roles or at least should be (again in her words) "gelded like bulls" to remove their testosterone before even being considered for such a thing.

she also evidently believes that the problem with all religions today is primarily that they aren't "goddess worshippers", because she seems to think goddess religions are inherently peaceful and pure too and seems to be especially obsessed with "Isis" in particular. the very very few times she's openly considered it unambiguously bad for some population or another to have been exterminated (she's got a bad case of devil's advocating genocide brain), she's gone out of her way to make up some crap about how said people were a peaceful society of goddess-worshippers, almost always of isis. delusions of isis-worship seem to be the only thing that ever causes her to consider any arab or middle-eastern culture, society, or ethnicity to be relatively uncomplicatedly undeserving of extermination, in fact, because every fucking time she doesn't immediately start devils-advocating it and making remarks about how "the rest of the world should box them in and let them blow eachother up" it's when she's whinging on about how whatever specific micro-ethnicity she's thinking about are or were traditional persecuted isis-worshippers.

the sole major exception to her weird fixation on isis worship justifying worthiness of life is the whole israel thing going on, in which she has consistently made very obvious that literally the only reason she's against the genocide of palestine is because it gives her an excuse to even more openly hate jewish people than she already did. and honestly i'm not sure even that's true because i think she's made some offhand remarks about palestinians having probably been peaceful isis worshipers before the jews infected them with christianity or something anyway.

so for the last, however fucking long it's been i've been constantly having to listen to her go off about how this behavior is in the jew's blood or whatever and that they literally invented all genocide because somehow the concept didn't exist before them and wouldn't have ever been invented by the rest of humanity without those jewish aliens dropping it in i fucking guess apparently and she furthermore goes on about how every single genocide and mass-oppression movement in history is directly inspired by them, ESPECIALLY the nazis, and THEN i have to listen to her rant about how, basically, wwii was something they entirely brought on themselves by "dominating the economy and treating everyone not them like shit" and the nazis were just "using their own tactics back at them". and then she goes on a rant about how the people the original jews exterminated back in the day (aka the first ever genocide, which they invented, because jews invented genocide and hate according to her) in the middle east region were peaceful matriarchal isis-worshipers.

and then she starts making comments about arabs being backwards and palestinians either being mysogynist muslims that should be boxed in to blow eachother up with everyone else or secret peaceful isis worshippers corrupted by men's cruel hand, sometimes in the same sentence, entirely dependent on which group she's more in the mood to hate at the time.

it's exhausting. beyond exhausting. her sole purpose in existence seems to be to have the singularly most exhausting set of politics physically possible to fit into one person.

just, sometimes i think, if there really is anything at all to the incredibly stupid and inexplicably popular idea that anyone or anything has a Purpose tm to exist for, i feel like my mother's purpose is to be walking proof to me of a Type Of Guy That Is Real, cause i sure as fuck would have trouble inventing this mess if it wasn't standing right in front of me spewing confusingly bipartisan hate. all of her thoughts and opinions are these long winding nonsense chains that feel like if that man carrying thing sketch about the friend with confusing politics was a person. on meth.

[sl33py-g4m3r]

it feels like a complaint but idk~~ hope it's not~~~ i kind of worry me telling anybody about anything is a complaint somehow~~

but saw something on a local PBS channel that I don't understand~~

are so many people into being the omnivores we think we are; to find lampooning a swordfish being hideously barbaric, watching it die in the boat with it's blood everywhere, and then throwing it on ice to be sent to local restaurants.... they think it's absolutely barbaric~~

I forget the word they used, disgusting/disturbing or something of the sort, it was yesterday and I don't remember~~

and at the same time EATING AND ENJOYING IT ANYWAY~~

I don't understand~~ you see that, are revolted by it, yet eat it anyway?

a little light doesn't click on in your head and goes "we aren't supposed to be killing and eating animals if we are disgusted/disturbed by it?"

true omnivores would see a feast of that fish~~ or any slaughterhouse really~~~ and yet humans are so disgusted/disturbed by it that we hide them from plain sight and make the act of slaughter hidden from view~~

if people are so disturbed by seeing their food be produced; then why and how can we see it as food to begin with?

I've been vegetarian so long that I no longer see meat as a viable food source and get genuinely confused when other people actually do, despite the slaughter and bloodshed witnessed....

like how can you still eat it and not be turned off by it? there are more compassionate ways of eating that don't involve taking the sentient life of another being~~

also unrelated thing that makes me feel really old for saying it to begin with; my 24 hour news station had inexplicably been replaced with another instance of a 24 hour shopping channel, and I don't understand... it is the exact same as the one a channel over..... ???

BRING MY 24 HOUR NEWS CHANNEL BACK DARN IT~~~!! WE DON'T NEED 2 OF THE SAME EXACT SHOPPING CHANNEL ON LOCAL TV~~~ I DON'T CARE~~~ I JUST WANT MY NEWS STATION

[garpond]

I don't even want much id choose to live if someone could promise me I'll at least be okay and get by on my own but it looks like there's no way to go that isn't miserable and it eats at me! Why was I born just to watch other people have lives without ever wondering what it would be like if they didn't get the chance to join society properly. What's the point of that. What use is there to me being alive. It's just obnoxious to me, like. Who created me just to give me to someone else like property. If I was born to be my mother's lifeless object why did they need to give me the added mental pain of a brain that revolts against the very idea. Making me want what I can't ever have was just cruel and it's that that makes me want to give up most of all.

[johnnyinmysilverhand]

bumble and anessa could have some side lesbianism going on if they weren't so focused on revenge and killing

[mochinomnoms]

Please share the lewd interspecies romance.

Okay so mostly I have thoughts over the Octavinelle trio, especially the twins 🫣 but i wrote a lil something for most of them! also this was not meant to be so long idk what happened

[tags] - nsfw, AFAB-implied reader, but written gender-neutral, mentions of ruts/heats, breeding, etc

nsfw under read-more, minors DNI!

If you really compare humans to the nonhuman population of Twisted Wonderland, there's are some small physiological differences between species. Fae, surprisingly, don't differ from humans all too much. Land dwellers in general don't have anything too significant, though all of nonhuman species retain aspects of their animal counterparts.

Most of Savanaclaw goes through some sort of rut/heat during various times in the year, primarily early spring and summer. There's no logical reason for them to retain that aspect of their mating cycle anymore, not for a sentient species that have skills of logic and reasoning. Unfortunately, they didn't get to choose how their evolution worked, and so they have to deal with it in anyway they can.

They get a lot more irritable, they have throbbing headaches, their abdomen hurts, and the scent of their mate is a lot more enticing than normal. Jack probably has it the worst of them, as a wolf beastmen. Not only does he have to deal with a fever-inducing rut that will put him out of commission for a week, afterwards he has to deal with the a/b/o jokes from his classmates too, oh the horror. It is really a horror though when he's able to bend you over his bed, bite marks aligned your neck and back as his dick pounds into you till his knot swells and locks you in for at least an hour. Jack's incredibly embarrassed afterwards, though he manages to be incredibly sweet even after rearranging your guts. Wolf beastmen are one of the most affectionate partners to have with a reputation providing some of the best aftercare for their species. It's most likely to make up for their week-long copulation, stretching and tiring out their sweet little mates. Ooooh, but they'll so very sweet: cleaning up the sticky mess of fluids between your legs with their tongue, careful to not overstimulate you (unless you ask), tending to the mating mark they placed on the back of your neck with soft kisses and licks, and making sure to prop your lower half up to that your chances of taking their seed increases.

Lacking the annual rut/heat that other variants of beastmen have, lion and hyena beastmen are more similar is this regard, as they don't have the same issue of long copulations as wolf beastmen. Neither will initiate sex, rather they'll rely on their mates to do so. Ruggie, in particular, is rather reluctant initiating sex, as male hyenas are typically more submissive, so if you're shy you'll have to get over it. But once you do, Ruggie is ever so happy to service you if you're happy to give him praise. Run your hands through his hair and ears as he eats you out, he'll let out the cutest whimpers and groans as you do. Just, expect to be jellyboned by the time he's done with you, as a hyena he needs to make sure his mate won't snip back at him and you can't exactly do that if your fucked out. While he may not have the same stamina as Jack for week-long fuck session, he has a particularly short refractory period and can have several short sessions in a single night.

Leona also won't typically initiate sex on his own, it happens very sporadically, and he his the image of the lazy lion. While he never wants to do anything particularly extraneous, who is he to deny you needs? You'll have to do some preparing though, as while the barbs on his dick aren't as bad as they are in his animal variant, they will hurt if you're not wet and pliable enough. Be sure to sit on his face, don't worry you won't suffocate him and it's better you cum a few times first before taking him. Unless you want it to hurt? Once you've cum enough times, you can ride him to your heart's content. He only asks that you don't mention how he rubs his head into the crook of your neck, marking you so that if everyone couldn't tell by the sounds coming from his room, they'd know you're his from his scent. Lions are quite protective with their territory and pride after all.

Merfolk have the most extreme physiological differences between them and...any land dweller really. It comes with the territory of being suited for a completely different environment. They also behave a lot more similarly to their animal counterparts, which can be both delicious and exhausting for their humans.

Moray eels don't have a set time of the year they mate, but rather the water must be warm and plenty of food must be ready to provide to their mate. When the spring time weather above the sea starts transitioning from crisp to blazing, don't be too surprised when the twins start handfeeding you meals and snacks throughout the week, they want to make sure you're happy and full for them, getting you in the mood with a sweet, dizzying underwater dance to initiate until they get the okay from you. What's that 'okay' though? You know that yawning I mentioned before? You'll get your answer from them now, as they take your open mouth yawn as an invitation rather than a sign of tiredness. Floyd, in particular, is ready to drag you into the deep part of the pool before remembering that you need to breathe somehow. Not a problem. He'll keep your pretty head above water. You'll still have trouble breathing as his long tapered tongue worms his way in your mouth. No matter, you'll be gasping for breath as he bullies this cock into your hole, large enough that you can physically feel the bump on your stomach. Morays are awfully fond of wrapping themselves around their mates, seeing as Floyd will do his best to tangle his tail around your body and squeezing you as you squeeze down his dick. He loves the physical contact between you two, and is amused how your nails try to dig into his shoulders seeing as the mucus on his skin makes it near impossible to have a steady grasp. You're completely dependent on Floyd as you drool and cry out for relief from the overstimulation, which is oh so ever exciting.

Jade is equally as cruel when it comes to mating. Unlike the others, merfolk tend to mate with the intention to, well, mate. He prefers you to be soft and pliant for him, as well as wholly depending as you two fuck. So, he'll happily brew you a water-breathing potion so he can actually drag you into the deep, where he found a secluded, warm grotto that will allow him to keep you to himself for hours, but close enough to the surface that he can continuously grab you food to eat between sessions. Not that those sessions will be short either. Like his brother, Jade is content to wrap himself around your body as he cooed honeyed words into your ears about how you'll make a wet, warm, soft hole for breeding. It's not like he'll have to do much either, his dick is prehensile and he can wrap himself around you, swiping kisses and nuzzling into the crook of your very sensitive neck while his thick cock continuously pounds into you with a bruising pace. He's so mean!! He likes seeing you cry from overstimulation too, and Jade will continuously scoot down to clean you up with his tongue, only to claim that too much of his seed was gone and he needed to fill you up again for another few hours. He's truly quite incorrigible, especially when he bites into your neck and shoulders to make his claim on you. Don't worry, most morays' bites aren't venomous, and even if they are, you have him to care for you. You're going to be depending on him in the water anyway, so there's no need to worry about it too much.

Something that neither probably won't mention, probably because they won't realize it's something you should know, is that they can change their sex under the right conditions. If you're ever so inclined in the future to test the waters out, the twins might be so generous to let you eat them out instead.

Of the trio, Azul's the only one with an established mating season, two actually: one in the late spring and the other in the early fall. Respectively, one during finals and the other during orientation. He's already so incredibly stressed, and he has the need to breed too? Downright atrocious. It's wonderful that you're so kind that he can take refuge in you and use you like a new octopot, so tell him how pretty he is and how much you love him and only him, so that you have the privilege fucking his merform. The moment you're entering the water, he'll unconsciously display mating signals by flashing soft lilacs and blues, a beautiful display of his need for you. He's rather large, even bigger than the twins, in his merform, so you'll need preparation as well; have no fear, his tentacles are wrapping and kneading the squishiest parts of you. I mentioned before that he can taste the salt on your skin and pulse through your wrist via his suckers. He can taste the slick from your walls, too, without even having to use his mouth as the suckers massage you from the inside. If you'd like, he technically could give you a full flavor profile afterward, though he'll probably be a bit mortified to do so. The biggest difference is his dick, or lack thereof. Instead of a dick, Azul has a hectocotylus, which is a modified, slightly shorter arm of his with a thicker spade-shaped tip that he can practically rearrange your guts with, with little effort on his part really. Most octo-mer variants will keep their mate at a distance, eons of instinct hard to forget. Azul's variant, though, will keep you close, almost dancing with you in a sweet, sensual twirl as he places sweet kissing and bites on your neck, arms, and chest. Octopi are, in fact, venomous, however, so you will be feeling a bit of a lustful high, paralyzed, and a bit helpless to the whims of a needy octopus. He's quite good at aftercare though, making sure you get an antidote and handfeeding you calorie-rich snacks to energize you back up (again, he's aware that you won't eat him, but instinct dictates that he keeps you full with both food and cum to make you a happy mate).

*collapses into heap on floor* thoughts....full.....ahahaha breeding kink go burrrrr. i was not meant to write this much and then it escaped me. also i hate tagging

[kindacreepy-kindaugly]

I know it's (mostly) just the hangover but jfc

[radiance1]

Pariah Dark: [Gets defeated]

Ghost King status: [Doesn't go away]

Pariah Dark: <:0

Pariah 'Right of Conquest' Dark: >:0

I don't know where I'm going with this but BASICALLY my thought process for this au is that Pariah is let out to be redeemed or whatever BUT is incredibly upset that he still has the Ghost King status after having been defeat.

I mean he could just take it back since Danny doesn't have the armor anymore but who cares-

But you see.

The thing about that is.

The Infinite Realms doesn't wanna give him up, like, at all.

Danny doesn't want the title either so it works in the Infinite Realm's favor as well.

Yes, I AM implying that the Infinite Realms is both sentient and decides who gets to be king. Usually, it just went with the flow of things, because what is change in the face of infinity?

But then looked at Pariah Dark and went: "Yea no I'm keeping him."

Then looked at Clockwork and was like: "Yea this one too."

Then Danny and was like: "Why not room for one more?"

Basically, the Ghost King, the Master of Time, and that one Halfa are viewed as the Infinite Realm's special little blorbos and get favorite privileges.

Which is unfortunate, because Pariah, Ancient of War that believes fully in the Right of Conquest, wants to give up his crown. The Observants want him to give up his crown, Clockwork doesn't give a shit about the crown, Danny doesn't want the crown.

The Infinite Realms isn't about to change its mind anytime soon.

So what does it do? Make up a completely new title and bestow Danny the title of Ghost Prince as a compromise.

Which is also unfortunate because Danny gets summoned, and Danny being summoned isn't good because Danny doesn't want to be summoned, but Danny not wanting to be summoned is completely and utterly uncared for.

Which brings us to our next point.

The Infinite Realms is kind of... Nosey.

So it's there whether Danny wants it to be, or not. Which, means, that those who have summoned him for the first time gets stared down with the weight of infinity because it's a nosey little shit but also doesn't want it's blorbo to be taken advantaged of.

It did the same for Pariah too in his earlier years.

Makes this even worse when the JL or YJ (Your pick) had already pulled up to stop the summoning, failed, and then faced this.

[having-a-hyperfixate]

The other thing that’s just. Utterly wild. Conrad has no idea that Plants are sentient. NO IDEA. That comment of his about how they lack souls? Yeah WHAT WAS EVEN THAT???? (Because I’m gonna make the probably safe assumption that like in the manga they actually ARE sentient beings, even if its different from the way humans and Independents are. Their minds work differently, they’re basically aliens, its fine.) Which can only mean that either Knives never saw fit to tell him, or that Knives also has no idea. And given all of this with the bodies, I. am inclined to think Knives doesn’t realize. Which is absolutely wild, considering we know he at the very least heard them scream during the Last Run. How... How did he NEVER try to communicate with them? I just. Dude.

Man, there are a lot of great (and very true) posts about how Knives doesn’t see his fellow plants as individuals, but this was the moment I really first had that gut-punch realization. I’m sure there are no rituals for laying a plant to rest, but it’s incredibly fucked up to take a corpse, writhing in pain, and string it up for your own motivation. Your own selfish purposes. The afterlife is something fairly present in the Trigun universe, and this soul surely isn’t at peace

[dogboygirl]

i'm gonna say it i think the harkness test is stupid. there is no opportunity to fuck a big scary eel or whatever else irl so why the fuck does it matter if it can consent or is of age for its species. you can always fuck whatever the hell you want in fiction i don't fucking care. there's no real world equivalent to fucking a big scary eel so there's no tangible harm done by it being non-sentient or literally born five minutes ago. "if you can't verify that it's of age it might be pedophilia!" IT'S AN EEL. IT CANNOT BE A CHILD BECAUSE IT IS AN EEL. YOU'RE FUCKING AN EEL. OR WHATEVER IT IS. god. i think about this every time the harkness test gets brought up i'm sorry i can't not say it anymore

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: F.L.U.D.D. (Flash Liquidizer Ultra Dousing Device)

Debut: Super Mario Sunshine

F.L.U.D.D. was Mario's first ever Platforming Buddy! Unless you count the Lakitu Bros. from 64, but they just operate the camera and don't affect Mario's platforming moveset, so I do not. So really, F.L.U.D.D. is- hold on, I really don't want to write every individual period each time I write its name. I'm just going to leave all the periods at the end of the post and you can put them where they belong yourself, or anywhere else you think is funny. Or you can keep them, I don't mind. Put them on a bagel and tell a friend they're poppy seeds!

FLUDD is a big deal. A landmark for the series in terms of mechanics. Not that these specific mechanics returned, but the concept of a buddy granting Mario some new abilities has become a recurring thing. FLUDD even talks, and is fully voice acted! In a robot voice! Like mine! A cute and silly little robot buddy for Super Mario.

So then... why don't I absolutely LOVE it? I feel like I should! But I'm just not getting that urge to imagine it driving a kart or playing tennis like I do with far less important characters. Does it work so well as a Tool that I have a hard time viewing it as a Character? Let's See!

I think FLUDD's design is honestly kind of perfect. The two massive screws that evoke eyes are really clever, and especially great is that they give it + shaped "pupils"! Aside from that, the nozzle's funnel shape is an extremely funny shape for a mouth, and FLUDD does indeed speak out of there. Excellent head! Though I feel like the excitement fizzles out once you look past the head, because the rest is much more "equipment" than "character". That's fine, this IS a piece of equipment! It just makes it feel less like a character, when I'd like it to have a bit of a balance of both. Maybe if the handles also functioned as little feet that it could walk around on? I don't know. Maybe that would be stupid... but I do love when creature designs are stupid!

FLUDD was made by E. Gadd, but that's all the backstory we get. We never learn why it was just there on the Delfino Airstrip, and that's really weird! The perfect tool to combat the game's main conflict is just there immediately when Mario arrives. It could have been a cool little mystery, but I guess the reality is just that some Pianta ordered it when the Goop Incident happened and got express delivery. Or maybe someone already had it and was just waiting for a calamity like this to happen, to justify the purchase!

I don't need to go over everything FLUDD does, right? I'm not the Super Mario Wiki, it's not my job! I'm here for the Weird. And a weird thing is that FLUDD freaken dies.

During the final boss against Bowser's Hot Tub, FLUDD starts stuttering, as if breaking down. And then in the final cutscene... it Dies! Mario goes to it, it tells him it hopes it was of assistance, and it dies. And Mario is sad, because this was his friend. But then in the very next scene FLUDD is back! Some Toads fixed it and it's fine now. So this ends up having the emotional impact of Mario needing to change the battery on his TV remote.

Even though it's our and Mario's friend, FLUDD is still an object, a product. It's technically not just FLUDD, but A FLUDD, one of many, mass produced. I have to wonder if it actually formed any bond with Mario, or if it was a one-sided friendship. Is it even capable of friendship...?

Whatever the case, the others absolutely consider FLUDD a friend, and well, that's just so sweet. During the credits we get to see some extremely compressed pictures of Mario and friends enjoying their real vacation, and FLUDD is there with them! It's not even on Mario's back anymore, or always WITH Mario, for that matter. Sometimes it's hanging out with Peach and some Toads, sitting there independently. I think it is safe to say FLUDD is a real true friend, and likes to just Hang Out sometimes! Even better, maybe it wasn't originally sentient, but learned how to love over the course of the adventure. Such a wonderful robot thing to do!

As expected, thinking in depth about FLUDD has absolutely endeared me to it. Hooray! It's about time. Well, it's too late for FLUDD to be relevant again, probably. I'm not saying it should be a driver in Mario Kart, but I AM saying there should be a kart based on it, and I'm also saying that this kart should canonically be the FLUDD, now upgraded. This feels like something that should have happened long ago!

This has been a long post, but it is far from all FLUDD has had to discuss! So next time, I will post about FLUDD once more, and its various appearances during the GameCube days and beyond! There is milk involved at some point. Get excited to learn what milk has to do with any of this!

Here are all those periods you were promised! I hope you like them.

....................................................................................................

[yandereunsolved]

More Self aware HOTD cast because I love you😘

-

Reader, knows the hotd cast is sentient so might as well: *watching that one scene where Vhagar bites off luke and his dragon* DIVE BOY AT HIGH SPEED!

Luke: *makes his dragon dive downwards without a question* *avoids his death as Vhagar bites air* .....

Reader: very good *turns to look at a bewildered Vhagar and Aemond* I WILL FIND A WAY TO REACH THROUGH THE SCREEN AND STRANGLE YOU MYSELF IF YOU HARM THE BABY!

Vhagar: *recoils in fright*

Reader: bad dragon! I am disappointed!

Vhagar: *looking like a kicked puppy*

-

Vaemond, on screen: HER SONS ARE BASTARD-

Reader: Boy shut the fuck up

Vaemond: ....

Rhaenyra: .....

Daemomd: ....

Reader: do you wanna get beheaded?! Apologise you uncultured swine-

-

Syrax: *appears on screen smiling like a kitten with a heart necklace made of gold around her?his?their neck*

Reader: baby, beautiful baby

-

Seasmoke: *flying to a running Addam*

Addam: *is running for his life*

Reader: boy calm down, you have a dragon now so sit your ass

Addam: *is scared but sat his ass on the sand*

Rhaenyra, wasn' suppose to appear much later but appears earlier: ....

Reader: Seasmoke I know he looks like Laenor but for the love of dragons, don't scare the guy even if its just a prank

Seasmoke: *huffing like a child who got told no*

-

Luke: *returns to his mother safe and sound*

Reader: on second thought I'll just fuck either Rhaenyra or Daemond, im disappointed

Aemond: ....

Rhaenyra: *feeling smug*

Daemond: *also feels smug*

Aegon: how come I don't get a chance and those two could?!

-

Rhaenys: *upset she couldn't be the queen*

Reader: If only I could reach through the god damn screen I will strangle the man for not giving you your birthright just because your a woman

Jaehaerys: ....

Reader: Shame! Shame on you! If it were me I will treat her the queen she is! Dishonour on you fiend!

-

Rhaenys: *just existing*

Reader: mommy?😍

-

Baby jaehaerys: *existing*

Reader: *in a small voice* baby!

Blood and Cheese: *appearing*

Reader: I WILL CUT YOUR DICKS OFF IF YOU LAY HAND ON BABY! *stands up abruptly from the sofa*

Blood and cheese: ....

I don't know what to put here it became limited🙁

😒 Stupid Tumblr ask box. Anygays, thank you. 😳 I have been fed. 🍖

More yandere self-aware hotd thoughts for the soul—

—

Aemond: "It isn't fair. First they wanted to... be intimate me. They do not want me to bed them anymore." muttering to himself.

Reader: "Killing children isn't sexy! Strip! Beat the shit out of your brother! Order some guards to do something. I like it when you command people... your naked body is hot too..."

—

Addam: "I love you."

Reader: "What?"

Addam: "I-I love you so much."

Reader: "Wow, uh—okay."

Daemon & Rhaenyra in the corner with their dragons.

Daemon: "I told him to keep his mouth shut."

Rhaenyra: "We can't just outright kill him."

Daemon: "Send him into battle and get him killed?"

Rhaenyra: "Exactly."

—

Aegon: taking care of baby jaehaerys.

Reader: "Mhm... so adorable."

Aegon: "Me?"

Reader: "Jaehaerys."

Aegon: "Oh."

Reader: "You're a total dilf."

Aegon: thinking: I feel like that's a good thing. smirk.

—

Reader: "Aww, such a cute dragon~!" to Vermithor.

Sees Vermithor's scene.

Reader: "Bad boy!"

Vermithor: growls and flops on the ground.

Reader: "No more massacres!"

Vermithor: whines and pouts adorably.

—

Criston: "I—"

Reader: "Shut the fuck up. On your knees. You need to drink your respect women juice."

—

Helaena: covered in blood. she just killed someone for reader.

Reader: "... Are you okay?"

Helaena: crying. "Do you love me?"

Reader: "My baby! I love you so much. I want to reach through the screen and cuddle you so badly."

Helaena: thinking about killing someone again just for her darling's approval.

—

The yandere self-aware hotd characters when darling reader loves them back—

[khaire-traveler]

I'm curious because someone recently made the comment that it's only fair for Lord Charon to expect money in return for his services, but this system would actually raise a lot of questions. If you're curious, some questions I thought of are featured below.

(For the record, I still believe Charon deserves recognition for what he does; it's just the coin system doesn't actually make sense when you start examining it closely.)

Please reblog! 🧡 I want to hear everyone's opinions on this.

Not every Underworld god is paid for their labors. Some aren't even given offerings anymore, their names tragically lost to time. So, why is Lord Charon specifically mentioned to require coins for his ferry? Why not Lord Haides, for entry to his domain? Or Lord Thanatos for deliverance of one's soul? Or Lord Hermes for transportation from the mortal realm to that of the dead? Why not Cerberus for letting you through The Gates (he is a sentient being, btw, for those who seem to think he's just a random three-headed dog)?

Does The Underworld have an economy? Why does it need an economy based on coins from the material plane/Earth? How does it even determine currency value?I mean, just imagine how many different people from different countries would have gone to The Underworld and paid with coins over thousands upon thousands of years.

Does payment have to be coins, or is there maybe some other form payment you can provide? Does the value of the item have to be monetary, or can it be something that meant a lot to you in life? More of a metaphorical release of the material plane, in a sense, as you trade off something that ties you to Earth and are officially transported to "The Other Side".

How do you get physical coins onto a spiritual plane?

Why would Charon need coins from the surface world? Does he maybe just have a sick coin collection from over thousands of years of human history?

What about our ancestors who were alive before the invention of monetary coins; were they just expected to stand at the shore for 100 years for not having something that didn't exist yet?

Speaking of the last question, where do animals go? How do they get across the river Styx?

Why would the afterlife require money in order for you to enter it properly? That seems kind of fucked up and more like something a bunch of old men wrote down to declare the wealthy more important than the poor, no?

If this is really just a job for Lord Charon (who is a son of Nyx, mind you), that implies that maybe Lord Haides (or whomever oversees that) could hire others to help him. Is there more than one ferryman on the river Styx? What is their average hourly pay? How can I apply, and does anyone have any interview tips? Seems to me that it'd be based on commission.

Do you think the spirits on the riverbank get bored of waiting? What do you think they do for 100 years to pass all that time? 🤔

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

128 of the angst prompts for the pAInter?

128) '"I need you, why do you always leave me?"

......

"Heyyyy."

"......."

"Suddenly you don't wanna talk? That's rude."

"Well so is turning my body into swiss cheese when you promised you wouldn't do that anymore." You huffed, sending a pointed glare at the sentient computer that sat behind a locked cage, before going back to checking the nearby drawers for data.

"Oh right.." Painter muttered awkwardly. "I was actually aiming for the Wall Dweller behind you, but the turrets like to pick and choose their targets sometimes...heheh."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"Well..do ya feel better?"

"Hm..I guess it beats being eaten alive by one of those things. So...sure." You glanced back at him, giving him a tiny smile. "Thanks for trying."

"You're welcome."

Of course, you still had your..issues with the computer, considering that ever since he gained access to the Internal Defense System, your runs to the crystal have become more treacherous than ever before.

It was bad enough that you had to worry about wandering towards the wrong door, with him using HQ's voice to misguide you.

But now at any given moment, you could walking into a room with turrets sweeping the area, red lasers waiting to catch you in their line of sight before spraying you with bullets--while he taunted you over the speakers and whined whenever you managed to find the lever to shut them down.

You hated him at first, but after coming across his containment room, where his main body was hosted on an old computer, he swore that none of it was personal. He blamed Sebastian for hooking him up to the Navi-Path system and asking him to delay your mission for as long as possible, convinced that he could find another way out of this place.

Of course, you were still upset, and believed his actions were very much personal, especially when you've come so close to escaping with the crystal....only for music, of all things, to cause your gear to detonate.

Maybe he was a reluctant accomplice of his, but why should you care?

Why waste time talking to someone who stopped at nothing to kill you? He wasn't a mindless animal like Pandemonium or the Wall Dwellers, but had total awareness that you could come back after death.

And he knew how to take advantage of that.

You used to roll your eyes at the news channels declaring that AI would be the death of humanity.

Now? This AI sure as hell was going to be the death of you.

But sometime ago, you acquired his document and had Sebastian show it to you, and you learned some rather...tragic things about him.

He was built and programmed with love, by his human creator who taught him how to paint and appreciate the beauty of the natural world. All he wanted to do was create things, and now he was being used as a tool for destruction.

It was all because of Urbanshade.

They killed the only person he ever cared about, tore him apart and put him back together to see how he "worked", and when they couldn't figure it out, they forced him into crypto mining, only giving him the promise of letting him paint every once in a while.

He might be a machine, but the pain he felt was real--so real that he'd rather die than continue existing.

Of course, it doesn't justify him killing you over and over, and making your runs through the blacksite a living hell, but you could understand why he's so bitter towards humans now.

If you were him, you'd definitely have a lot of resentment and built-up anger.

After reading that document, you had a little more sympathy for Painter, and eventually you two managed to work out a deal: if you found his room, you'd stop by to draw a small landscape for him, and he was free to replicate it on his program. In exchange, he promised to keep all turrets in further rooms disabled and not lock you in a "gauntlet" with Eyefestation anymore.

He still works together with Z-96, but at this point you've learned how to avoid the flesh creature at all costs. So that was the least of your worries.

"Anyways, what have you drawn for me today, hm?" He spoke up, growing a little impatient.

You took a few moments to open the notepad you had, grateful that the security cameras in this room were under his control, so HQ won't detonate your gear for talking to him.

You've overheard the higher ups mention something about Painter becoming a pain in the ass for expendables and operatives, losing a lot of them to the IDS and Z-96 attacks, and he was to be marked for destruction before he could take 100% control of the blacksite.

Whether they were going to declare that as an order in the near future or not remains to be seen, but...you didn't want to do that.

Did Sebastian know?

Does he know-?

"Welllll?"

"Oh. Right. I have this here." You showed him the sketch of a mountain range, trying to get as close as the chain-linked wall would allow you to. "This is the Himalayas, where Earth's highest mountains are located."

"Oooooh, yes I recognize it."

"You do?"

"Of course. Over a hundred bodies are still up there, most unrecoverable due to the conditions." Painter sneered. "It should have been left untouched. Why do you humans always wanna ruin nature with you stupid hikes and big egos?"

"...well if you don't want this one-"

"Never said I didn't. Show it to me again. And hold it steady."

You blinked in surprise, before turning the notepad back over so he could see the landscape, and you saw the MS Paint program on his screen going right to work.

While you could only draw it from memory and with the pencils you found in a random drawer, he managed to bring it to life--using vivid colors and beautiful shading to really capture the scenery. Almost as though a professional artist went to those mountains and studied them for hours.

With Painter's AI, it didn't take hours, but mere minutes for him to create a masterpiece.

And it was beautiful.

As soon as he finished, you put the notepad down and grinned. "It's amazing, Painter. It's like..I could walk into it and be there."

"Thanks. I also wish I could walk into it and just...escape all of this." He saved the artwork to his files, before his usual scribbled face appeared once again, but this time it looked rather...sad. "I'll..make sure the turrets don't turn you into swiss cheese."

"I appreciate it, buddy." Smiling, you grabbed the keycard that you needed to exit the room, but right as you walked over to it...he spoke again.

"Do you have to leave right now?"

"...pardon?" Turning back around, you could see him staring at you, looking utterly despondent. "You..want me to stay?"

"You're..the first positive human interaction I've had in a long time. I feel bad for all the deaths and inconveniences I've caused you. Seriously, I do. But...if you reach the crystal, you won't ever see me again.." He muttered.

"Painter." You walked over to him, frowning. "That's the point. I'm only here to get that crystal. We agreed that you'd turn off the turrets so that-"

"I didn't do it to make your life easier." He snapped, growing hostile. "I did it because I don't wanna be the one who causes your death. I'll leave that to somebody else...eventually they'll get you. And you'll come back-"

"No."

He went dead silent for a moment. "..no?"

"This time, I'm getting that crystal. I can't stay here with you forever, Painter. I'm sorry about everything you've been through, but in the end..you're still a threat in Urbanshade's eyes. They could kill me just for talking to you. I need to leave now before-"

As if right on cue, the lights in the room began to flicker, and somewhere in the far distance...you could hear the familiar shrieking and howling of Pandemonium hunting for its next prey.

"You better go to that door over on the right." Painter advised, his voice uncharacteristically monotone.

You failed to pay attention to that and rushed to the door, quickly inserting the keycard-

Only to come face to face with Z-96, whose long claws reached out to slash you across the face. You fell backwards as the door slammed shut, the creature barely managing to drag its arm back inside, with a message in red appearing on the screen beside it.

I need you. Why do you always leave me?

'Bastard. He tricked me-'

Then you heard one final loud scream, and turned around..

Seeing nothing but a gaping maw with crooked rotting teeth and dozens of eyes closing in on you.

You should have known better. You should have just focused on the mission and ignored him from the start.

Now he'll never let you leave, and he'll find other ways to make sure of that.

[ebodebo]

Bang Bang Bar

NSFW CONTENT

—ghost and reader are in a no-strings-attached, friends-with-benefits, type of situation, but the reader wants it to be a real relationship. ghost says no and the reader is like okay that's fine byeeee and the reader flirts with a guy at a bar and ghost gets just a little bit jealous.

—simon "ghost" riley x f!reader

—2.3k+

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Ghost and you were laying in his bed, your leg draped over his, as you drew circles with your pointer finger on his bare chest.

"What're you thinkin' about?" He uttered, his voice sounding deep and grave. "Nothing." You quickly reply. He cocks his brow at your hasty reply and wraps his hands around your waist, and pulls you onto him, so you are straddling his torso.

"What's goin' on?" He asks softly. 

You tug your bottom lip with your top teeth. "I was thinking.." You pause before continuing. "I don't want to do this anymore." 

He tilts his head slightly. "Do what?"

"This." You gesture to both of your naked bodies. "Well..wait..not the sex part. I want to do that again." Ghost lets out a gruff laugh. "I mean, I don't want it to be casual." You declare in an earnest tone. "I want us to be a thing."

"We agreed on-" Ghost begins.

"I know what we agreed on." You breathe out. "I was just kind of hoping the sentients have changed?" Your curious eyes stare at him.

He lets out a breath before talking. "I told you. I don't date." Ghost says.

"I know, but don't all guys say that?" You remark.

"I'm serious. I don't."

"Even if-."

"No." He interrupts, his voice sounding rougher than usual. "I don't date." He continues. "This is all I can offer you." 

You stare at him briefly before slowly scooting yourself off his torso and moving to get off the bed, grabbing your clothes that lay on the floor. "I understand that you don't want a relationship." You slide your jeans on. "But, I can't keep pretending that’s what I want too."

You reach for your shoes and begin putting them on. As you look up, Ghost's gaze meets yours. "What?" You question. He shakes his head and diverts his attention from you.

Once you slide your shoes on, you walk over to the door and say goodbye to Ghost and to that mess of a situation. 

It had been about a week since you had essentially ended your "situation-thing" with Ghost. Not seeing him often felt weird, but you knew you couldn't keep pretending you didn't have genuine feelings for him. 

You were in the break room, preparing a fresh cup of coffee.

"Jesus. You're the reason we never have any sugar." Gaz scrutinizes as he strolls over to you. 

"Don't be mean, Gaz." You laugh as his eyes widen at the six empty sugar packets beside your cup.

"I'm being honest." His eyes continue to stare at the packets. "That is an insane amount of sugar."

"I've seen how much creamer you put in yours." You raise your brow. He throws his hands up. "You got me there." You smile and stir your coffee.

"Also, the guys and I are going to that bar downtown tonight. Would you want to come?" He questions as he grabs a mug from the cabinet above your head.

"The one with the stupid name?" You giggle as you take a sip of the hot liquid. 

He rolls his eyes. "Hey, take that back. It is not stupid." He states, his face plastered with seriousness. 

"For Godsake, it's called Bang Bang Bar." You cackle as you continue. "It sounds like a strip club, not a bar."

"Will you please just come? I hate going with Soap and Ghost alone." He grabs the coffee and fills up his mug. "Soap makes fun of me for my drink order, and Ghost makes no effort to stop him." 

You pause your drinking, trying not to sound too intrigued. "Ghost is going?" Gaz walks over to the fridge and grabs the creamer. "Ya." You chew your lip, trying to ease your thoughts. "What about Price?" You try to change subjects. "No. Price said he had paperwork to do. I swear that man is a workaholic." You smile. 

You were going to say no to his offer, but you decided you needed to get out of your head, even if it's just for a bit. "I suppose I can grace you boys with my presence." He chuckles as he pours his creamer. 

"Don't be too flattered. I want to see you in that short black dress you wear." He jokes. You lightly hit his bicep causing him to spill some creamer. "Hey, You made me spill creamer." He dramatically whines. 

"You didn't need it all anyways." You cheekily smile as you grab your mug and head towards the door, leaving Gaz to clean up the spilled creamer. 

You felt the cold air brush your legs, lifting your dress slightly as you stepped outside of your car to head towards the bar. You walked down the paved sidewalk and eventually saw the flashy sign with the bar's name in the middle. You rolled your eyes as you pushed the door open.

The bar was more packed than usual, but after scanning the area for a minute, you spotted Gaz, flailing his arms at you. You stepped through a cluster of people and made your way to the guys, Ghost nowhere to be seen.

"Hey." Gaz and Soap say simultaneously as you sit next to Gaz in the booth. You can't explain why but you feel disappointed that Ghost isn't there. You shouldn't, but you do. 

"What do you want to drink?" Soap questions, breaking your train of thought. "Uh..just a beer is fine. Thanks." You lightly smile. 

After Soap grabs you a beer, you all make light conversation. Although, you mind still wonders where Ghost is. Your question is answered shortly as you see him enter through the front door and wander to your booth. Your eyes lock briefly before he directs his attention to Soap and Gaz.

"Glad you could make it." Gaz proclaims, and Soap pats Ghost on the shoulder. "Hey, Ghost." You mutter to Ghost. He looks over at you and nods to you.

The light conversation continues, mostly between Soap and Gaz. You are trying your best not to look at Ghost, and you sense he is doing the same. You feel awkwardness wash over you for the millionth time that week. "I'll be right back." You say as you stand up from the booth heading towards the bar. 

You order yourself another drink, something to ease the nerves running through your veins. "Nice choice." You hear a male voice approach you. You look up to see an attractive man standing near you. "Mind if I sit?" You nod to him. "So, why is someone as pretty as you sitting by yourself?" You lightly laugh at his corny line. "I'm here with friends." You reach for your drink. 

"Oh. Sad to hear that." He whispers. "Why's that?" You cock your head. "I suppose you can't leave your friends for too long. I would like to continue this." He smiles. "They can keep themselves company for a bit." You smile back, bringing your drink to your lips.

You chat with the mystery man for a little bit, after texting Gaz, telling him you were, in fact, not kidnapped and just chatting with a guy. During the conversation, you realize you both have things in common, and it doesn't hurt he's pretty nice to look at. 

As you were talking, laughing, and shamelessly flirting with the man, he noticed a strand of your hair fall in front of your eyes. He gently raised his hand to brush the strand out of your face. Your face pinkens at his actions. "You are so beautiful." He whispers. 

Although he was spewing such kind words, your attention drifts to your phone. A new message has popped up. It's from Ghost.

Ghost: Come outside.

"I'm sorry. Could you excuse me for a second?" You quickly ask. "Sure. I'll be here." You stand up from the bar and reach the front door, pushing it open.

You are immediately met with the cold air. You don't see him right when you step out, so you go around the corner to the little alleyway and see him leaning against the brick of the building, smoking. "What's going on?" You question as you prop yourself on the same wall. 

He remains silent. His eyes wander down your body, taking in the tight dress that hugs your figure. "Ghost." He snaps his head up to meet your eyes. 

"He's not your usual type." He mutters. You give him a confused expression. "What?" You say as your head tilts to the side. "That guy at the bar." He takes a puff of his cigarette. "He's not what you usually go for."

"Why do you care?" You accuse. "I don't." He insists. "Then why are you so interested in my boyfriend?" Ghost's head instantaneously lifts, his eyes narrowing. "Boyfriend?" You stare back at him. "No. I was just...I don't know why I said that." He releases a deep breath. "Thank Christ." He takes a final drag of the cigarette before throwing it on the ground.

Now, you are the one narrowing your eyes at him. "Why do you say that?" Your eyes widen. "Were you jealous?"

"No." He speedily says.

"I think you were."

"I was not jealous."

"Fine then. Since you have nothing important to talk about, I think I'll just go back-" He instantly grabs your waist and guides you onto the wall so his body is pressing against yours. Your breath hitches at his actions. 

You both stand there in silence, your breathing becoming increasingly faster. "What are you doing?" You finally whisper. 

He remains silent and positions his face closer to you so your lips are only mere inches away. He sees the heat flicker between your eyes and roughly presses his lips into yours as one of his hands comes to grasp your hair, which elicits a moan from you, causing him to groan. 

His other hand slips to cup your ass, pressing your body closer to his so you feel his hardening cock. You pull back slightly, and his mouth instantly connects with your neck. "Tell me." You mumble through breaths. "Tell you what?" He mutters into your neck as he leaves sloppy, wet kisses on you. "Tell me you were jealous." You finally say.

"Of course, I was fucking jealous." He grits, as he drags his tongue across your jaw. "So, you only want me when someone else does?" You whisper. He quickly drops both of his hands and steps away. "Is that what you think?" You shift nervously. "What else am I supposed to think? I mean, you haven't talked to me in a week, and the one time you do is because I was with another guy."

"I thought.." He wipes his hand across his face. "I thought you deserved better than me. That's why I said no." He confesses. "You're fucking perfect. Too perfect for me." He whispers. "It killed me not to talk to you, but I just thought it would.." You step closer to him. "Thought it would what?" He looks up at you. "I thought it would force me to get over you." 

"Did it work?" You murmur. "No." He says. "I could never get over you." Sincerity coated his voice. You step towards him and gently grab his hand. "Sorry, I'm just a fucking idiot." He pauses as he rubs the palm of your hand with his finger. "I understand if you don't want-" You catch him by surprise when you smash your lips onto his, your fingers thread through his light hair, slightly tugging on it. 

"I'll forgive your idiocy.." You pant in between kisses. "If you make me come.."

"I've made you come five times in one night. This is no.."

"Out here."

His eyes slightly widen as he brings one of his hands to tug on your hair, causing a quiet moan to escape. "You minx." He replies.

In hindsight, this was quite a secluded alleyway, but it was still out in the open, meaning if anyone decided to turn the corner, they would see you both.

Ghost brings his hand, which isn't in your hair, to your breast, gently massaging and palming it, causing you to whine into his mouth. He slipped his other hand under your short dress so that he could graze your wet cunt through your underwear.

You rocked yourself on his fingers, seeking more friction. "More." You plead. "Ya?" He questions, his voice dripping with arousal. You nod your head quickly as he slips one finger under your panties. "Better.." He connects his lips with yours as he pushes a single finger into you. "Christ, you're so fuckin' tight.." He whispers into your mouth.

"I can't fit anymore." You moan as he begins sliding his middle finger into you.

"We'll make em' fit." He manages to fit the two fingers in you and begins pumping in and out of you. "Fuck, Ghost." You whimper, as he grazes your clit. "You feel so fuckin' good, baby.." He grunts out as his fingers move in and out, faster and faster.

You can feel yourself tightening, signaling your peak nearing. "Ghost...I...Fuck I'm so close." He drags his other hand up your dress so he can graze your bare nipple. "I can feel you tightening..." He slightly rolls your nipple in between his fingers. "Come." He commands.

That one motion causes you to climax. Your legs are shaking, and your pulse is racing. He holds you up by your waist until your orgasm subsides. 

He cheekily smiles as he brings his fingers covered in your arousal to his mouth and sucks them clean. "Am I forgiven now?"

"I guess.." You continue. "Although I feel like it took you a little long to get me to come.." He chuckles. "Next time, I'll get three in you."

You laugh as you check your phone. "Fuck. The guys called me so many times. They must think something bad happened. We should probably leave." Ghost nods as you both walk down the alleyway.

"You think we should tell em'." Ghost chirps.

"Tell them what?" You question.

"That we're a thing now." He turns his head to face you as his lip curves slightly.

"Are we? Since when?” You cock your head.

"Since now." He grabs your hand and interlocks your fingers as you turn the corner out of the alleyway. 

reblogs & comments are encouraged!

also let's pretend mystery bar guy found a nice lady and they lived happily ever after in alaska or something.