#i don't want to be alone
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Why am I paranoid I just went to a traumatic situation where I was r worded but I attacked him poke his eyes kick the ribs and kick his groin to escape and call my friend to help me then call the police to arrest him for it and now I'm paranoid scared traumatized confused fearful and I really need my bestfriend so I can calm down and the support I TRIED MY BEST TO DEFEND MYSELF AND GET HELP BUT DO I FEEL UNLOVED UNSUPPORTED ALONE AND FEEL GUILTY SOMETHING NOT MY FAULT I JUST WANT MY FRIENDS IM CRIPPING
#i don't want to be alone#anixety#fear of abandonment#fear of loss of friends#i need my friends#overwhelmed#panic attacks#over thinking#rape#kingrubyducks is a my comfort safety bestfriend#injuries#truma#ptsd#crying#headache#in my thoughts#anxious#very upset#why am i like this#extreme depressed#fear of loss#lonely fears
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I don't know why, but this year the loneliness is really hitting hard.
#Lonely#single#forever alone#alone#I know why I turned 30 this year#Still sucks though#I don't want to be alone
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The urge to just pack a bag and run off. 
#photography#shitty pics#train tracks#street lights#i just want to run away#pack a bag#but the lonely feeling is to overwhelming#i don't want to be alone#I'm weak#lol
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I really wish I could talk to someone but I'm alone,,,,
#vent#alone with my thoughts#feeling anxious#feeling alone#i want to talk to someone#i hate my existence#i'm fucking tired#i need someone to talk to me like that#i want a friendship like theirs#i'm useless#i don't want to be alone
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:(
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Just changed my blog title/bio. A little.
#which#I think I had to do#a metaphysical cutting of the hair#the glass isn't broken#I'm still scared#i don't want to be alone#but most importantly#I don't want to be a version of Case that I can always precede with 'just'
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Never Let This Go - Paramore
#never let this go by paramore#paramore#paramore lyrics#album: all we know is falling#glitter text#gif warning#lyrics#45px#arial italic#bloggif.com#arial font#1px outline#breakups#now i feel like I don't know you#I don't want to be alone
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I am alone
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I'm not alone they're still here I'm not alone they're still here I'm not alone they're still here
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s t a r t r e k t h e n e x t g e n e r a t i o n created by gene roddenberry [the perfect mate, s5ep21] 'I don't want to be alone' - kamala
#star trek#star trek the next generation#the next generation#gene roddenberry#tng season 5#the next generation season 5#tng the perfect mate#the perfect mate#lot: st tng season 5 ep 21/26 (ep 121/178)#patrick stewart#famke janssen#jean luc picard#Kamala#I Don't Want to Be Alone
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And I'm starting to blame myself again. Oh well. I'm just sad how alone i am and how often i lose people. I don't understand why. Like why do people just leave? Why? What is so repulsive about me?
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alright but consider this:
you know how genkishi had slugs as a box weapon in future arc
Not only they can change their shape into anything, but each individual slug possesses strong explosive powers. Their illusionary abilities were shown to have many uses, with the most blatant examples being invisibility and construction of an illusionary landscape. With the Construction characteristic of the Mist Flame, illusions created by the Spettro Nudibranchi become real.
how about current genkishi with butterflies as a box weapon.
They represent a symbol of metamorphosis from one stage to another – whether it be a change in physical form or an emotional state – as well as a reminder that something beautiful can emerge out of difficulty. The butterfly’s delicate nature has also come to signify fragility, but also strength and courage due to its ability to transcend seemingly impossible obstacles such as death or despair; they serve as inspiration for those facing their own struggles. Additionally, butterflies are often used in artworks in Japan because they represent joyous occasions or positive outcomes after difficult times – making them particularly meaningful across many aspects of the culture’s history.
(i am like 90% sure i saw illusions in the meaning pages somewhere too but i can't find it. Wikipedia has a mention of bad omens with large numbers of butterflies and that also checks, but i digress)
#khr#katekyo hitman reborn#genkishi#khr genkishi#millefiore#please tell me someone else DID think of this first#i don't want to be alone
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ANYONE!!!! Anyone else absolutely despise when headsets or over the ear headphones have a little fucked up braided cord that you hate touching you, and you can hear it rubbing against you, when so sound is playing.
I hate it so, s o, SO much. Headsets with braided cords are hell to wear. Bring back plastic cover cords!!!!!! I don't care if they're less durable!!! It sucks less to use!!!
#babey posts#sensory issues#sensory processing disorder#tell me if you agree#I don't want to be alone#also weirdly enough: vaccum cords
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I miss my dad.
I wish he was still here.
I'm already 19 years old and still I want to scream for him like a 5 year old would for their mom.
I wish he was the one who lived.
because I know he would be there for me if he did. as he always was.
he would know how to guide me through this misery I am in because he himself went through it years and years ago.
but I know that he can't get me out of it as much as we both want to.
#seraphine screams into the void#i know he's at peace in a better place now#and i know he will always believe in me#but#just#i don't want to be alone
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It's struggle through autism symptoms hours
#being dx as an adult really is just a coin toss of ''will i be okay today or will i be existentially and emotionally ruined''#was thinking about touch and how much i dislike it and it finally sort of settled home that like#i will not be living the life i imagined#i imagined one day i will be okay being single and unnattractive and i will care for myself#how am i supposed to be hopeless romantic and touch repulsed#how can i ever EVER even slightly hope to find someone who will be into me. like. lmfao it is a cruel joke#i am fat and unattractive. i am asexual and touch repulsed. i have autism and adhd and am completely unmedicated.#my own mother is too embarrassed by me to accept these things let alone not be ashamed of them#i can look past the visual and personality shit. like yeah whatever lets pretend someone is into me.#i do not want to have sex. i do not want to be touched. i do not want to kiss or be lovey dovey.#and i realize what's left is just literally ''a friend'' but what about all this fucking romantic yearning i seem to be full of#idk. i know the answer to this im just trying to ignore it i guess#all this escapism and yearning and dreaming is just to pretend that one day i will be a different person living a different life#but i want to live with someone. i want someone to sleep in my bed. i want someone to wake up and make breakfast with#i want someone who cares about me to be in the house when i get excited about something and need to tell someone#i don't want to be alone#i want to be near someone who makes me feel like i'm not a freak. someone who doesn't ever give me That Look#if ur autistic you know the look im talking about. the confusion the irritation the ridiculousness of it#i want to feel like i will always be someone's first choice. i want to know what it's like to trust someone with every part of me#and it will never happen because i cannot stand to be fucking touched#if i was just asexual i could manage. but i cannot touch#does this get better? will this improve if i meet someone i trust? i want to die#the only (ONLY) thing i think i can even remotely provide is creativity#and im good at it. i can write well and i have good ideas amd i know generally what im doing#but with school and work i just do not have the time to work on my wips#and i don't know how long i can fucking take it#i am doing nothing. i am giving nothing and taking so so fucking much#i know i don't have to work to deserve to live but jesus christ. what am i fucking doing#i don't have time but its the only thing i have to live for and i don't know how much longer i can live like this#vent
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