#i don't understand what is going on with this file

[prlssprfctn]

A fun little headcannon is that everyone believes Jason to prefer paperback and physical paper but he honestly doesn't care. Maybe it stems from his Robin days reading for hours in the manor library. Or how'd he always tell Bruce to write down the details of the case to solve it faster. Or even that they needed to have physical copies of each file in case the Batcomputer got hacked. It just stuck with Bruce and by extension everyone believes it.

But like he would totally love an eReader with how many books you can fit on it. Audio books are even better because he can listen to them anywhere. The man likes the stories people have to tell. How he consumes it isn't a concern. But of course he has a flare for dramatics so he plays into this misconception.

Steph: Jason, I know you'd prefer a physical book but I got a Kindle that you could use more than me.

Jason who already owns the newest model takes it and chucks it at the floor: Disgusting.

Tim at the Batcomputer: Why do we need to write up a report for Condiment King of all people. Its the third one this month!

Jason: Back in my day we would hand write each and every report.

Dick: No we didn't???

Jason magically pulling out a file cabinet with said case files.

Jason: Honestly we should start doing that again let me go ask Bruce.

Bruce: Honestly if you'd wait five more minutes someone would have come in as backup. You don't need to do everything on your own Hood.

Jason completely ignoring him because he's got books downloaded on his helmet.

Damian next to him knowing what Jason is up to because he did the exact same thing with Ra's.

YES, YES!

i think Jason loves paperback when it is his already favourite books, the ones he knows he loves and wants to annotate and explore — otherwise, he prefers to try books in e-version first. or borrow books from the library if he is in the mood. he strikes me as someone who loves supporting local libraries! plus, listens audio-books on missions and during work-outs, yep, yep.

do other family members have a wrong opinion in that in their minds because Bruce is the "heard my kid mentioning something once, now i think their whole personality evolves around this thing" type of parent sometimes? oh, fucking absolutely. does Jason love to play on the stereotype of "boomer" sibling? yeah— lol.

also, he is a type of kid who would remind the teacher about homework (i think he genuinely cared about this as a kid and didn't understand why everyone got mad, but now he knows WHY, and he will do it EVERYONE'S problem) and combined with him, writing reports on papers, i raise you this:

Bruce, tired by the end of the patrol: Had we discussed everything? Hadn't I forgotten something?

literally everyone but Jason, quickly: no, no, we are fine. ha-ha.

Jason, appearing behind them: well. actually. we all now should write our reports.

Bruce: oh, right.

Jason, smirking: here is mine, by the way. i wrote it while you are all was bickering.

Bruce: so competent! thank you, lad.

Other kids, fuming: -_-

also, the image of Jason blasting audio-books through his helmet is frying me. so, get this:

Dick: Jason is so suspiciously calm for the last few days! like, seriously. proud of him.

Tim: right? it is actually hilarious. Bruce was screaming at him yesterday, and Jason was just staring at him silently, no word, no remark... he was so quiet that Bruce instantly felt bad and apologised. like. master-tecnique. lol.

Jason, who was listening to audio-book all this time, and didn't even hear what Bruce said, just nodded when he started randomly hugging him and murmuring "my baby": whatever.

[deadrobinthoughts]

†  all the flags : tim.

⋆˙⟡ “i'm not.. emotionally unavailable. i'm emotionally encrypted. you're just not running the right program.”

⋆˙⟡ request: kal, im gonna need to see the green red and beige flags for your v1 boy ↦ kalico note: ♡ being colorblind is perfectly fine.

↦ GREEN FLAGS. "Christ, I'm in love with a problem."

says "be careful" every time you walk out the door.

gifted you a flashdrive and a note saying "if anything happens to me" and it's just a bunch of surprisingly well written love letters.

your likes, dislikes, soft spots, fears, etc. are all just locked away in his brain.

remembers your first birthday: what you wore, what the weather was like, what music was playing - the moment he realized he fucked up and actually liked you.

has a bunch of playlists inspired by you but won't actively tell you.

asks things like "what's your favorite book?" or "dream vacation?" during patrols.

has your routine down better than you.

stays up all night researching things you've mentioned in passing.

doesn't say 'i love you' but makes it clear in a thousand quiet, understandable, obsessive ways.

knows your go-to orders everywhere.

has a backup plan for all of your backup plans.

he treats your secrets like ancient, sacred knowledge.

respects your boundaries like they're the law.

doesn't offer unsolicited advice, despite wanting to, and waits for you to ask ( aka, need him. )

he's never forgetting a single thing you've told him. even things you don't even remember.

fixes things without being asked.

protects you like his life depends on it.

let's you play with his hair.

holds your wrist when out in public.

won't let you walk near the outside of the sidewalk.

slides you a snack or cup of tea when he notices your upset.

he knows all of your allergies, disorders, health issues, etc. and knows how to handle it if something goes wrong.

he has 100% broken into a vending machine for you.

defends you over the smallest things when you aren't around to hear it.

keeps a photo of you with him at all times - no, you have never seen it.

will never ask you to change. ever. for any reason.

can and will show up at your house at 2am.

can and will break into said house to be there when you get home.

has a box of every single receipt, ticket, note, letter, etc. you've ever given him and/or he acquired while with you.

he keeps the first voicemail you ever said 'i love you' in on his phone, seven different drives, backed up in several places like it could save the world someday.

tugs you by your shirt and kisses the top of your head when you get upset over something he said that wasn't meant to upset you.

he's not great at it and it only works about 20% of the time, but he attempts to watch how he sees things.

does not let you pay for food.

leaves a shirt or hoodie behind for you to find later on.

routinely messages "good morning." every single day.

will not, at any point, let either of you sleep until a fight or argument is resolved. even if he won't admit he's wrong.

↦ RED FLAGS. "God, if I say that's attractive, I probably need therapy."

he will absolutely repress his feelings into oblivion before asking for help.

he doesn't lie to you, per se, but he will omit like.. 87% of the truth.

would rather lose you than ever let you get hurt because of him.

every single person in his life is traumatized because that's simply who he lets in. ( it's red bc it's not always healthy. )

has days where he struggles with who he is outside of the mask.

he has no clue how to deal with unconditional love without dissecting it and giving you reasons to not love him.

believes in hope and redemption for everyone but himself.

he's got a file - mental, but it's still there - of everyone, including you.

copes with sarcasm and cruel comments.

deflects hurt by hurting others.

apologizing is barely something that crosses his mind and when it does, he's shit at doing it to your face.

he solves his problems by disappearing for a week.

texts after that week "what's up" like you weren't thinking he was dead 8 hours ago.

he's not going to tell you he's hurt until you find him stitching or bandaging or wrapping something.

he knows if you lie to him, and yes - he will be a hypocrite and call you out on it.

he has and will emotionally manipulate people for the greater good, even if it hurts the person.

he's not going to fight you if you want to walk away - he'll just nod, let you go, and deal with how he feels on his own.

however, sometimes, he makes it easy. silence, distance, emotional retreat.

if he feels like you're pulling away, he's going to do it first.

there is 100% a tracker on you that you have no idea about.

thinks protection involves keeping you in the dark.

his idea of opening up, early on, is brushing everything off and telling you he's fine and not to worry about it.

will ignore you if he's bothered by something. ( bothered, not mad. )

he's going to apologize more for stupid shit like burdening you or dragging you down before he apologizes for something he did wrong.

he has trained himself to not need comfort. ( he thinks it worked until you come along. )

he thinks he's expendable. which is why he can be reckless if it means protecting someone.

sleep is optional if he has work to do.

he will, at no point in his existence, admin he's jealous. but he will make someone else's life a living hell for it. behind your back.

if he sees you reciprocating anything like flirting, even leaning too close when you laugh, he's gonna up and vanish. for hours.

he does not want to be considered needy, jealous, etc. so, he just won't tell you how any of these things make him feel.

god help if you're in danger and one of the others gets to you first - he will be very quick to cut them off and take over.

self sabotage is burned into his soul.

does have deeply personal information on all of your friends, ex friends, ex lovers, etc.

↦ BEIGE FLAGS. "You're so fucking weird.."

will use outdated slang for shits and giggles - he's said "jazzed" so many times.

all of his electronics have names. yes, he expects you to use them.

you've caught him eating cereal, half asleep, with a fork.

can pick any lock, get through any firewall, dismantle any security system - but lord help if he needs to open a bag of chips or a can of biscuits.

will ghost you - then show up two days later with your favorite take out and a not-really-an-apology apology.

can skate like a pro but will trip over his own feet. ( please look into his early robin training days, it's hilarious. )

he has two forms of flirting:

blunt, straight to the point.

fighting over detective work until you're red in the face and want to strangle him.

buys you flowers often but does not give them to you, just leaves them on a counter or table.

told you he loved you on a mission once, then pretended it never happened.

corrects you, feels bad for the next week.

he has a color-coded sheet for your communication quirks.

will stare you. will blush when caught. will call you crazy if you mention it.

the type to correct things when watching a movie.

will let himself get torn to shreds if it means petting a street cat.

goes nonverbal for hours on end for absolutely no reason. just existing. nodding when needed.

disassociates on the balcony at 3am.

according to him, after being called cute, he's "statistically speaking, i'm not." aka, you're wrong but thanks.

genuinely knows this because of his time looking at data on facial symmetry, global average, basic attractive features, etc.

don't tell him you miss him because he'll never say it back, just glance to the side then be like "i'm right here."

he has mugs, silverware, specific shirts, and jackets that you are not allowed to touch. because they are his.

he will send you a total of 9 paragraphs in a text at one in the morning about something interesting he found.

like everyone else, he has favorite rooftops and spots in gotham; he will get offended if someone else is using it.

makes you watch documentaries with him.

he sent you a cute little thing for your anniversary once. it was labeled "sentiment.archive" - it was a very, very organized timeline of photos and memories.

↦ BONUS. reacting.

i love you. "okay. well.. uh, noted."

you're cute. "do you mean that in a romantic human way, or the manipulative way because you want something?"

i missed you. "i never turned the comms off?"

why do you love me? "because you looked at all the broken, beat down bullshit and still said 'that's mine.'"

your happiness is important to me. "let's settle on functional unless you plan to redefine happiness."

you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. "please aim higher."

i don't want to lose you. ( i'll be nice here- ) v1: "both of us already have. bits, pieces - parts of me. a long time ago." v2: "you're not losing me.. you won't. unless you decide it's time to go."

you cry in front of him. "hey, tell me what you need - little slower. i'm listening, i'm right here."

you reach for his hand. "hold on too tight and i might not let go."

i hate you, said during a fight. "…okay…. okay."

[crushedsweets]

hey crushedsweets!!! i've been thinking about making my own vn in google slides like you did, do you have any tips/advice?? (like how you added different routes and how you put music in the bg)

hello hello!!!

okay so it's kind of hard to explain it all over text. if i get Enough requests i MIGHT do a tiktok video but as of right now, ill try it here. ALSO EVERYTHING IS PROBABLY ALREADY A TUTORIAL ON YOUTUBE BUT IM HELLA ANNOYING AND REFUSE TO WATCH TUTORIALS T_T I JUST STRUGGLE N FIGURE IT OUT

honestly this is such a shitty explanation so i might do the tiktok tutorial if i have free time next week (cuz im on spring break now LOL)...

also, if you guys want, i might make a copy of the slideshow and give yall full access to it so you can poke around to try and understand it cuz my "tutorial" is ASS

DIFFERENT ROUTES

okay so. i don't really do different routes, i just give 3 decisions that funnel into the same route so the game FEELS like a game...but its not rlly one.

i'll try to take it step by step:

make options. make sure you already have the following slides/routes created

make the blue textbox cover the entire beige box. if you don't, then when players click, it'll direct them to the NEXT slide, not the route you want

Click on the blue lines of the textbox and click CTRL+K. You should already have the route slide created, in which you just input the slide number. IF YOU WANT PLAYERS TO RETURN TO CERTAIN SLIDES W/O GIVING THEM THE OPTION SLIDE, HERES AN EXAMPLE..(?):

>the "stay in bed" option is on slide 14. >this options directs you to slide 16. >slide 16 is a joke option. because of this, i want the player to go BACK to slide 14 to make a serious decision. >to do this, i turned EVERY asset into a CTRL+K link that sends you back to slide 14. this includes the background, text box, beige text holder, the apple png >this way, no matter where the player clicks, it sends them back to slide 14 (so they can make a real decision) >this gives you full control of where the player goes, even if its going backwards

EXTRA TIPS:

after every choice-slide, i created this warning slide. this makes sure that even if the player doesnt click correctly(i.e clicks the background, uses spacebar), they'll know there was a mistake and it'll send them back

I ALSO PUT THIS RED SLIDE BETWEEN EVERY "ROUTE CHUNK". what i mean by that is..

>as you can see, there is the decision on slide 196. >the first decision on slide 196 sends you to slide 198. >so slide 198-204 is a "route chunk". >when players finish that route chunk, i link(CTRL+F) ALL ASSETS on slide 204 to slide 215 >i do this because slide 215 is the end of the "route chunks" and leads you to the direct story. slide 204 AND 213 both link to 215 >this allows readers to progress smoothly regardless of what decision they made, since all decisions are meaningless in my VN (sorry)

>HOWEVER, this means you have to try and make sure all decisions leave no tangible impact on the story - i try to make them impact the player, not the MC (i.e leaving canine teeth in the drawers so the PLAYER will feel uneasy, but the MC never mentions it again)

i use these red slides to separate the slide chunks for two reasons:

makes it easier for me to keep track of route chunks when editing

if there is a mistake, players know to go back one slide so they can fix it. this way, they wont be progressing through random, unclear routes

okay. that was the best i got for the routes.

NOW FOR MUSIC

honestly? i dont even remember what website i used, but...

FIRST, you need to download a youtube video with whatever music you want. i think this website should work

SECOND, you now have an MP3 youtube video. GO ONTO GOOGLE DRIVE, click NEW, click UPLOAD FILE, then upload the MP3 file

THIRD, go into your slideshow. click INSERT, click AUDIO. now you should have the audio on your slideshow.

FOURTH, now its all up to preference. you should have a little audio icon pop up. click AUDIO ICON, click FORMAT OPTIONS, click LOOP AUDIO.

YOUR AUDIO SHOULD PLAY THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE SLIDESHOW NOW!!! :3

extra:

i havent done it cuz i was getting busy and just wanted to finish it, but honestly, you could probably change the audio throughout your slideshow - upbeat music to scary music when the scenes change, etc. maybe even layer them? i dunno. thats for you to play around with, cuz I DUNNO cuz i didnt do it. but yahh

ok... thats all... im so ass at explaining but i might make that tiktok. but my laptop screen is cracked so im embarrassed recording pics of it HAHAHAHA

[ihaznoclue]

Could I request Belle, Wise, Anby, and Grace with a reader who's a doctor that studies Hollow and Ether-related injuries and illnesses?

Pairings -> Belle, Wise, Anby Demara x Reader

Warnings -> None

Note -> Reader is a doctor who studies hollows, ether-realted injuries and illnesses and they are here to help you with your research

Genre -> Fluff?

BELLE

Belle decided to visit you in your little clinic doctor area where you study a lot of things mainly hollows, Ethereals, injuries and its illnesses

She spotted you doing some research on your computer as you heard the open the door

"Hey, Name! How's your research going? Been working on any cool Hollow stuff lately" She asked as she walked over to the counter where you were sitting at

Belle noticed the slight distress on your face as she sighed

"I know it's a little bit tough, trying to understand the whole Ethereal stuff. It's complicated I know but I believe you'll get more information on this stuff as you go!"

"Thanks Belle, just haven't been getting much stuff lately"

"Hm.. You know.." She stated making you turned to her

"Hm?" You hummed quietly

"You can always visit my place and watch over my commissions, maybe that might help with your research.. If it helps that it"

"I can!? Belle you don't know how much I appreciate that favor!"

"Well It is to help with your research after all"

WISE

Wise wanted to come visit you as you were working on your daily stuff on Hollow and ethereal related stuff

He quietly knocked on the door to get your attention, "Doctor" He then nods to you in a greeting as he smiles, seeing the tired look on your face

"I've been meaning to check in on your progress with the Ethereal related stuff. The data I have gathered from researching and from my commissions from recent missions I've helped hollow raiders with might provide some useful information into the injuries caused by Hollow-Related Ether changes"

"Ah, thank you Wise" You smiled up at him as he placed the file on your desk beside you

"These documents contained detailed reports that I was working on, the injuries sustained by individuals expose to the unstable Ether fields, Perhaps they will clarify some of the symptoms you have been studying for the past few days"

"You're a live saver Wise, What would I do without you" You said as you grabbed the files and tapped them on the desk to even them out and walked over to your draws to place them inside

Wise watches you closely before speaking again

"And If you requires some assistance in your work, I am available"

"Thank you wise but you've done enough for me today, you must of researched and gathered a lot but thank you"

Wise nodded once more before he left

ANBY DEMARA

Anby decided to visit you for a little while before going on a mission with Nicole and the others

She wanted to visit you one last time before leaving to go hollow raiding

Anby softly greeted you "Doctor Name, you know you have been working non-stop on this"

"Oh sorry Anby I didn't see you there"

"I've been trying to text you that I was coming over for a bit, but it seems you are still researching, the hollow related injuries stuff.. you know it can be difficult to get information from this kind of stuff"

She then heard you sigh

"But you seem to be on the right path.." Anby reassured you as she stepped a little closer to where you were sitting with your hand on your head

"For the past couple of days, I have gathered some samples and data from the field in the hollow while hollow raiding.. I think there is something to the way Ether interacts with he Hollow-induced damages.. Maybe something we are over looking but if you like I can stand over some of my finding or I could help you run some tests in the lab if you like Doctor Name"

"I'm fine thank you though.. I think Samples are quite enough for some research"

"Well Let me know if you need anything else Doctor Name.. I'm here to help you"

Then Anby left as you continued to do your research once again

-A<3

[louferrignojrofficial]

i slowed down this moment, notice oliver nodding before lou goes in...

[cozylittleartblog]

random note about king on that animation, i got really lucky with how simple his animation was and how clean my sketches were to begin with that i was able to do very minimal cleanup on what i had sketched (and add back. his horn. it's supposed to take place just after echoes of the past, Oops) and call it done that way instead of having to redraw the entire thing like i had to on his dad

first sketch > line cleanup > nearly final animation (i'd added slight eye movements last-second but otherwise that's the final)

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s6 episode 12 thoughts

so. we must return to see what is going to happen to cassandra and mulder and scully!!! and also spender and diana and CSM!! but they’re of less importance to me!!! because mulder and scully are my best friends!!

i am anticipating: some angst, a spender death or exile, a bizarre plot point with krycek that will never again be addressed, and mulder trusting diana despite all signs saying he should absolutely not. and me yelling at my screen while that goes down. AND maybe some more scully diving into her trauma from the abduction. and CSM somehow making it out unscathed. or only mildly scathed. 

post-episode thoughts: this episode pissed me off and gave me a headache.

also, re: my predictions- i got a bingo.

let’s go!!!

omg, my laptop thinks i’m on s7 because i somehow let a bunch of episodes play all night... LMAOOO!!! it wants me to watch 7x03- GIRL!!! we are not there yet!!! do not rush me!!!

we open with mulder narrating- a key feature of these mytharc episodes- over a photo of his father and CSM. and again, i still cannot tell which is supposed to be which, because they do not look at all like any of the versions of the characters we have been previously introduced to. unless i wasn’t paying attention when he showed that picture from his scrapbook, and these are the same actors that featured in that brief shot. in which case: i apologize.

is he burning the photo??? or is that just a fun fire overlay to indicate the dramatic nature of the subject matter? he’s talking about the generation of his father being hardened by war.

bro just used the term “hurly-burly” seriously in a sentence. i think i need him.

omg!!! i see younger CSM now!! from the 70’s!!! and his buddies from the syndicate!!! did they put modern CSM's actor in a bunch of makeup to achieve this look? or did they have another guy about 20 years younger with a similar face shape on standby? fascinating questions are being raised here…

younger CSM is presenting an american flag to the aliens. and they are just little guys. they don’t look scary at all. must be those are what they look like in their raw form. that is, when they’re not shapeshifting. hmm…

just little dudes. intent on colonization. but they look so... cartoonish.

much to ponder. is victory the absence of defeat, as mulder claims the syndicate mistakenly believed?

YAY FOX MULDER FBI BADGE :D yay blurry sequence of them opening the door holding guns! intro time!!!

there hasn’t been a change in the display text in a while. usually we only get that for mytharc stuff, so i was lowkey expecting it today. i guess one must expect the unexpected. and not expect the expected. amen.

back to cassandra begging to be shot in mulder’s apartment!!! while scully is yelling!! 

but the door is broken down before he can make a choice on if he should shoot or not!! there are people in hazmat suits entering his place!! are they spraying our agents?? is cassandra somehow a contamination threat?? or is this simply an excuse to take her?

these people are from the CDC!! and the agents and cassandra are going to be taken into custody over a contagion of unknown origin!! is that diana in the hazmat suit telling them this?!? or just some random person? because why would diana be with the CDC?

mulder sadly showers in a sad quarantine facility. and so does scully. but they don’t seem to be looking at each other.

OH! he just looked down at her. THEY’RE LOWKEY INSPECTING EACH OTHER, LMAO. now. i imagine that they’re trying to see if there is any sort of contagion on each other. but it would be funny to imagine otherwise. gaze upon the sad showering naked body of your partner. let that eye contact do the talking.

(still thinking about this the next day as i edit my notes. i will need to ponder this moment for a few decades. guys, you don't have time to be flirting right now. put a pin in it. circle back.

also, i can imagine nothing less romantic. they've seen each other naked a bunch of times now, and it's always been for decidedly un-sensual reasons. in clinical-adjacent settings. how strange it must be to see your crush half or barely dressed with regularity, but never in a romantic light. is it ethical to steal glances at each other while the government takes you hostage? so much to ponder)

and then they are buzzed with some weird machines. scully wants to know who will tell them what this is about!! and her wet hair is SO CUTE. OH MY GOD. i need to emphasize how CUTE it is. i’m sorry she is in distress; i genuinely apologize. but. i’m. gonna embarrass myself over here. 

mulder asks where they are, and scully says probably fort marlene. which is so cool of her. she can guess which secret quarantine facility they were transported to based on their travel time. shoutout to scully. with wet hair. locked in this sad little cell with mulder.

and it *is* diana who comes in!!!! she says that she is very sorry, but cassandra might have contracted an organism that makes her blowup. which scully clearly thinks is the stupidest thing she has ever heard, LMAO. 

diana, you're literally not even in the hazmat suit anymore. clearly you don't even believe this nonsense. nor have you made an attempt to indicate you do. i'm crying. "okay, you guys might have a super secret alien blowing up disease, so we'll need to take you far away from others for their protection, but let me come on in and join ya" ijbol

diana says that she just HAD to take cassandra, and scully is calling her nonsense out- she was in a hospital for days!! no one was sick!! but mulder is trying to interrupt. SIT DOWN, MAN. 

OH, DO NOT SNAP AT HER, MULDER!!! diana is gonna piss me tf off. what does scully being suspended from her position at the FBI have to do with her being a medical doctor and knowing that you’re full of absolute nonsense?!?!?

diana just HAD to get that dig in there.

SCULLY GETS UP AND WALKS AWAY, LMAOOOO. do NOT fuck with her.

she was so mad she had to leave AND they have no clothes. truly a terrible situation to find yourself in.

“mulder, this stinks. and not just because i think that woman is a… (she looks at him shuffling around) well, i think you know what i think that woman is” <- LMAOOOOOO

“no, actually, you hide your feelings very well”

giggling. a little bit. and not a lot bit. because i’m still angry at him for snapping at her. 

there is something very funny about scully being unable to conceal her disdain. poised and polished scully can't hold her tongue. i find it endearing.

apparently, skinner heard spender make the phone call to the CDC. scully thinks it’s nonsense- it’s a fancy kidnapping, and it’s remarkable that cassandra was well. mulder points out she did come to his apartment and asked to be killed. but she said that was because people were after her, and if they got her the world would end, not because she had spontaneous combustion disease. which i feel is an important distinction.

scully says cassandra wanted to be killed because she wanted the testing to stop- the same testing that happened to her :( and mulder says she’s "the one"

krycek is in new york city, talking about medical records with CSM. hmm. what is he doing there?

no one can decide how to pronounce cassandra’s name, lmao. cah-sahn-dra or cah-SAND-dra. the syndicate says that when the aliens learn of her, colonization will begin, and so regardless of how you say her name, they have to kill her now.

but CSM says no! he says let cassandra be turned over!!! save ourselves!!

“bill mulder was against this” well. y’all had him killed. so. what do you care what he thinks?

“bill mulder sacrificed his only daughter because he knew this day would arrive”

i had kind of thought that the whole “bill mulder sacrificing samantha” thing was a coverup for a totally random and tragic accident, but this confirms, i suppose, that my assumption was incorrect. i guess they also mentioned that in FTF. hmm. not sure which interpretation is more poignant. i do kinda like the idea that she was the favorite, though, and that is why our mulder stayed behind. he wanted to save her. and left him to pick up the pieces. it's an angsty thought to dwell on.

CSM asks what choice they have “if we want to see those we sacrificed return to us” <- did they ALL sacrifice people?? as an agreement to not snitch?? so bill mulder wasn’t the only one who had to do so?? there are many implications here….

back at fort marlene, mulder is in some very ill-fitting clothes, yelling around for shoes that fit him. he sees someone in the distance and runs after. is he being lured into a trap?

peeeek into that door, strange, tall man. this woman says she can’t be seen with him. IT’S MARITA??? OH MY GOSH!!!

i was wondering if we would ever see her again!!!!

she looks so sick. so, so, horribly sick. she says they have done terrible tests on her. new tests, with the alien virus and the vaccine. to try and buy time against the colonists. and they couldn’t buy enough time, because cassandra spender happened.

she says if the aliens learn of cassandra, there will be no stopping of the plans. and she leaves. 

woah… an unexpected cameo on her behalf. i feel very bad for her. may she make a full recovery and return to doing whatever it is she does, exactly. sneak about.

spender rushes into a room with diana to find his mother!! she’s hooked up to a million wires. she wants to know why they’re keeping her here. and spender says they’re keeping her safe from dad!!! and there won’t be anymore tests!!!

she says he doesn’t understand, but he insists he does. and she says he has to let her go, he has to let them hurt her, or everyone dies. she begs and begs, but he leaves. 

knock at the gunmen’s door!! who goes there? has frohike always had a ponytail? IT’S MULDER!! but is it really him?? did he really break out?? or is it an alien?

scully called him here!!! she has information on diana!!! and he doesn’t want to hear it!! 

she says he’s being manipulated by her, and that he knew her in the past, but he doesn’t anymore. if he won’t listen to her, may he please listen to his only friends.

oh. this isn’t going to go well. 

there are no records of her in europe for 7 years. and she took WEEKLY TRIPS TO AND FROM TUNISIA?? is she with the bee people?? she was visiting every european chapter of the UFO network (MUFON) and collecting data on the abductees!!!

he says she’s reaching…. omfg… BRO. you believed in the CHUPACABRA.

yes. guilt him with the story of your abduction, scully. remind him how he couldn't protect you. rub it in. make him realize.

if cassandra is the critical test subject, there had to be others!!! and why has diana, of all people, been assigned to her?! and why is there no information on any of the things she has been doing for the last 7 years? and why is she suddenly back in his life??

OH SHIT!! he still won’t believe her. the gunmen look around awkwardly…

“well, then i can’t help you anymore” <- GET HIS ASS!!

“scully, you’re making this personal” YOU TRUST YOUR EX OVER HER?? YOUR PARTNER OF HOW MANY YEARS NOW?!? YEAH, I WOULD BE MAKING IT PERSONAL TOO!!!!

“because it IS personal, mulder. because without the FBI, personal interest is all i have. and if you take that away, then there is no reason for me to continue” <- YES!!! YOU TELL HIM!!!!! WALK AWAY!!!

augh. this is so frustrating. why can’t he open his EYEBALLS?! and SEE!! and i don’t believe for a second that scully will just leave him to it. she will want to save cassandra. and get herself in so much more trouble in the process. and try to save the world, of course. while he sits there and drags his stupid feet in their stupid too small shoes. so yes. leave his ass. do it by yourself if you have to.

mulder is going to watergate. well. why do that? is he gonna meet diana? oh god. yes. he is. he knocks at her door. 

he takes out a lock pick when she doesn’t answer and just. goes in there. i guess now he’s serious about getting results. she seems to have a nice place. he finds cigarettes. and some bras. 

but the door opens!!! and in walks CSM!!!!

mulder has his gun pointed at him!!!

this has to be all the proof he needs!!!! if CSM is here, clearly they are working together for nefarious purposes!!! LOOK!!! USE CONTEXT CLUES, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

CSM caught mulder going through the drawers, and says he has a lingerie fetish which is crazy. damn. low blow from the guy who made his career on low blows.

OHHHH... mulder pulls him up to a sofa, has the gun right at his forehead, and says he has nothing to lose. 

“i remember looking over a gun barrel at you once before, agent mulder” <- YES SO DO I!!! and it was amazing. love when he would burn the world down to avenge scully. even if he chose to find peace and say goodbye to her instead of resorting to violence. remember how loyal he was?!

“you couldn’t pull the trigger then. what makes you think you can now?” (he cocks the gun) LMAOOOO. fuck around and find out.

but CSM says he came here looking for his son. because he has betrayed him, and joined mulder's side. “that presumes my cause is wrong” “oh, it is, agent mulder, it is”

CSM is laughing as mulder says he’s not the one using innocent lab rats. he says his father was against it, too. the lone dissenter. but he came to his senses and gave up samantha. 

mulder says you FORCED him to do that, he didn't want to! but CSM laughs again, saying he’s wrong. and we jump back to 1973. “that was your father’s objection: that we would ally ourselves with the alien colonists”

so he bought them some time, i guess? so they could try and come up with a way to defeat them?

“you put those lives on hold so that you alone could survive”

“no, agent mulder, so YOU could. that’s exactly what your father failed to realize. he railed at us, and our plans, even as the process has begun” hmm…. hmmmmm….

and then we see the syndicate from 1973, and a ton of children walk in!! CSM says they agreed to painful sacrifices. including cassandra!!! he gave the aliens his wife!!! so they all had to give someone up as insurance they wouldn't rebel, i suppose.

mulder is furious they sent them away like things, but CSM says it was the right thing to do, so they would come back to them. and the kids are shown crying as the aliens come to fetch them. including samantha.

mulder calls him a liar. he points out that she was taken in front of him, not in some hangar. but CSM says that was because bill didn’t realize that he also had to give up a child, as the aliens demanded. it was the only way they could get THE ALIEN FETUS??

WHERE DID THE FETUS COME FROM???!

they needed the fetus to get the alien genome to make the hybrid- the new race who would survive the holocaust. so he could survive. and live to see his sister. 

mulder is furious. he sits down. and asks if CSM has succeeded. he says they did in spite of themselves, as the plan was only to buy time; they never thought they would actually come up with a solution. and when mulder asks about the vaccine, CSM says it was his father’s idea. but it’s too late, and the colonization is going to begin.

a state of emergency will be declared. due to the bee disease. yes, we have been over this. 

i am only halfway through the episode and i have taken SO many notes. i feel this is a good place to check in and gather my thoughts. 

how do i feel about this world building? well, i don’t know whether or not to believe it, to start. but it feels…. idk. too neatly put together. also, again, i ask: where did the fetus come from? did i miss something? am i silly?

hmm. idk. maybe it’s just that i don’t watch this show for the whole alien colonization subplot, so it doesn’t feel super interesting. i guess it is kind of neat to learn about why all the choices that have been made have been made, and to feel those mysterious undercurrents bubbling beneath the surface, but getting the answers directly feels kinda cheap. and i don’t buy for a second that CSM was doing all of these terrible things for the right reasons. don’t try and make me feel bad for him. not gonna work, buddy. it all fits together too neatly.

i guess now we should go back to the plot at hand, which, shall i remind us all, is going on IN diana’s apartment.

CSM says he must hand over cassandra and the colonization will begin. and mulder cannot stop it now, or else he will never see his sister again. 

“it’s what your father realized. it’s what you’ll realize as your father’s son. or die in vain with the rest of the world”

okay. i feel like i’m not getting something, because why would mulder live if everyone else dies?? did his father somehow agree to spare him when he gave them samantha? and by “spare” him, we of course just mean he will survive to get turned into the alien slave race, right? because the vaccine isn’t ready yet. or at least not available to the masses. so the aliens will kill everyone but spare the syndicate and their families and make them slaves?? and why not just make everyone slaves then?? it sounds like they'd get more done that way. what do they even want to do with earth??

girl. who knows?

CSM hands him a paper, saying to save her, and save himself. and then he leaves. mulder is perplexed. but so am i. so i guess we’re matching.

spender comes to the syndicate place in new york!! looking for his father!!! and who does he find but krycek!!! who says he’s gone. and they aren’t coming back. they went to west virgina, where they will begin medical preparations to receive the hybrid genes.

okay. that clears up part of my confusion. i guess i didn’t realize that genes were transferable. but also, they did transfer them into cassandra. but i thought that was only focused on women? or was the reason they only chose women so they could get a two-for-one by experimenting on them to make full alien hybrid adults and also make the alien hybrid children? 

sigh. does anyone know what’s going on?

also, why isn’t krycek there in west virginia with them? what is he planning?

he says CSM went to get cassandra, and that his doctors are already looking at her. spender thinks he has her locked away, but. alas. krycek says she’s probably being prepped as they speak. 

cassandra is being swarmed by doctors. and she is screaming and screaming as they drug her. i find myself genuinely terrified. and CSM walks in, saying he needs a few minutes. she calls him the biggest bastard of all. she’s crying, saying the others never question his authority, even though he’s a coward. 

he wants to talk about the future, not the past. he says they’re here now because of what he’s done. but for so many years, she didn’t understand it was all him. he says he ordered the tests, but he didn’t want to harm her- he wanted to save her and their son. 

so what i'm hearing here is "i am very sorry i spent all that time torturing you, but i did it to save the elite few. and i'm not really that sorry" which is... a choice?

she says you can never save spender, because he knows what CSM has done to her…

wow. normally i like to add my own thoughts to these recounts of events, but it’s going too fast for me to even gather them. the minute i have formulated a thought, another thing has happened and takes its place.

there is only one way to save spender, she says. but CSM says he can’t kill her. and he runs away. 

diana comes back to her apartment and finds mulder. he says he came here looking for evidence. she swears that she is loyal to him and the x files. lying through her TEETH.

mulder says he found no evidence of her being a traitor, but he says fate found him. he found CSM. and he says that he knows he must give up so the ones he loves can survive. 

don’t touch him queen. she takes the paper from his hand. “that’s where we need to be if we want to survive it” <- HE WANTS TO BRING HER?!? this has to be a trap, right?

(after pondering this, i think him bringing her with him to the end of the world site makes sense. mulder always wants someone to save. so yes, he would bring the woman whose apartment he broke into with him when the end of the world arrived. but still. the optics of it, man. bringing her. trusting CSM's story. after everything he has done.

let's say yes, the end of the world is soon. and you won't go try and bring your mom with you? okay, maybe she's too far away, and that is very sad, because you have to go now. what about your best friends who live right nearby? you don't want to bring them? you want to bring this woman who clearly despises you, sabotages your work, torments you and your partner, and is working with your mortal enemy, who you have previously described as the devil?

i guess that is his thing. he needs to feel like he can save someone, because he couldn't save his sister. and maybe learning that the world is about to end provokes in you a sense of despair. but to hear him say he needs to give up... that is just. so deeply unlike him. what is he thinking? why doesn't he want to go down swinging?

the whole thing just... man. made me frustrated. like, do i know this mulder? or did he get swapped with some other dude?)

no, don’t kiss him, diana. i don’t want to see that. okay. whatever. you can’t hear me, i guess.

spender is going back to fort marlene, where he does not find his mother. but he does find marita!!! she asks for his help!!! he says he doesn’t know her,,, but she knows where they’re taking his mother. and how.

and she knows his name…. she says he has to trust him. huh. CSM must have spoken about him before. i wonder what he had to say.

ew, they're getting the alien fetus of mysterious origins out. man. i didn’t want to see, like, any of this. put the fetus in the pressure cooker looking thing, why don't you? can you just… thaw him out??

but the woman who wouldn’t get mulder shoes walks in while the thawing takes place. OHHHH!!! the eyeballs!!! scraped off the face!!! she’s one of the rebels!!!!

do we cheer? has crisis been averted?

mulder calls scully, and she says she was just calling him. oh... :( she still wanted to talk to him after the earlier outburst

he says he’s with diana, and they’re going to come get her. but she wants to go find cassandra!!! mulder says it’s no use, but she’s going there whether he comes or not. and “there” is the potomac yards, because spender called her and told her that's where she is being held.

lmao. don’t let him get you down, queen. you must save the day. alone if you must. this is not fair, but it is the scully curse. 

god. again, the optics. mulder was really going to try and ascend to the alien apocalypse with his ex AND the woman he recently declared his love for by his side. and let everyone else on the planet die. mulder. use your brain. this does not make you look like a great guy.

mulder says he’ll be there, and sends diana ahead to west virginia. good on him for choosing hope?? i guess? a little late, but better than never.

well, they’re now chasing a train. and scully is FLOORING IT. ooo, i didn't know she could drive crazy like that! she angles the car across the train tracks!!!! 

mulder gets out and they shoot the train together!!! the train brakes…. and they run!!!

NOOO!! scully’s CAR!!! it got ran over by a TRAIN!!!

i hope she has good insurance 💔

the syndicate and their family members are going to the hanger to get beamed up, i suppose. when someone approaches our agents. IT’S SKINNER!!!! he wants to know what the hell is going on.

oh, skinner, i didn’t realize how badly i wanted to see you, but now that there is a big smile on my face, i know it to be so.

yeah. get in the backseat, mulder. let scully take shotgun. atone for your crimes.

who is arriving at the hangar….? the syndicate goes to investigate. it’s cassandra on the stretcher. with CSM. 

he wants to know where krycek is!! and i do, too!! he’s at fort marlene, stalking about. is he looking for marita?! will they be reunited?! are they still together?

krycek cannot find the alien fetus!!! he is furious!!! where did it go?!

spender calls out to him. he can’t get past security- they won’t let him remove a patient. and look! it’s marita that spender has with him!!! oh, this is an uncomfortable reunion between krycek and marita, who we last saw kissing passionately. his jaw drops.

krycek calls spender a sorry son of a bitch, saying the rebels are going to win. they took it. marita is shocked at this news, but spender just wants to know what “it” is. and can you blame the guy? he just got thrown into all of this.

diana pulls up at the hangar, and sees CSM. why is there music swelling between them? what is their relationship?

oh. the hangar is opening. but the syndicate didn’t send a message to the aliens!! so who goes there?

diana and CSM start to escape. and it seems that normal people are emerging from the hangar??? diana and CSM drive away!!!

but they aren’t normal people!!! they’re the faceless rebels!!! surrounding the syndicate!!! with their fire sticks!!! 

(fire roars and people scream)

is.... that the end of the syndicate?

kersh is looking at photos of the burnt bodies that skinner handed him. he says the loss of life is beyond words. and spender is there, too. kersh says he cannot imagine how it must be, losing his mother.

oh, now i feel bad for him. he even got kersh to use a kind tone.

spender says he is responsible for those deaths!!! also mulder is here! and scully, too! 

he says the agents might have prevented the terrible attacks!!! kersh's kind tone doesn't last long.

HE INTERRUPTED KERSH??? OMFG???

spender says it’s his fault the agents were suspended, and kersh ought to do everything he can to get them back on the x files. far worse can and will happen. 

spender gets up and leaves, saying he will pack up his things.

“you have answers now? why didn’t i hear about those answers before?”, kersh asks mulder

“i’ve had answers for years” 

“then why didn’t we hear about them?”

“no one ever listened” <- WELL!!! get his ass.

he says the people burned themselves, from choices made by men long ago who thought they could sleep with the enemy. 

kersh doesn't know wtf this means, and scully says. well. he's probably right. so just go along with it.

spender tells CSM to get out of his old office. he’s holding the photo of him and bill mulder!!! he says he was a good man and a friend who betrayed him. 

he said he came here hoping his mother wasn’t right. he hoped his son might live to honor me. like bill mulder’s son.

AND THEN HE PULLS OUT A GUN AND SHOOTS HIM!!???

the end?!?!

hey man. entirely too much just happened in one episode.

okay. um. 

well. i didn’t like this one. 

there was too much going on!!! my brain wasn’t handling it!! why would mulder choose diana over scully?? is he stupid?? 

is the syndicate over now?? but now they have to deal with the alien rebels?? was krycek working for the rebels the whole time?? is that a good thing? but it's krycek; he can't be good. is spender dead?? just when i started to like him?

will mulder and scully go back on the x files?? will it be under skinner? how will they just go back to work after all of that? 

“hey scully. i'm sorry i didn’t believe you when you said my ex was manipulating me even though you found incredibly detailed receipts with my best friends in the whole world. and i'm sorry for how i wanted to give up and let everyone in the world die, because the man who is responsible for torturing you and thousands of other women told me there was nothing i could do. and i'm sorry i agreed with him despite having no reason to trust him whatsoever, and only changed my mind at the last minute.

do you want to go hunt some werewolves now? and not acknowledge how i blew off all of your trauma in favor of trusting someone i haven’t seen in years and a guy i previously called the devil? i know you’ve saved me more times than can be counted, but it was an honest mistake!”

grrr. i’m growling. hissing, even. how can he be so stupid?! 

beyond mulder’s dumb choices, it was just far too much at one time. which always happens with these episodes, but this might even be a record for most stuff packed into one episode. and it just made me frustrated. and therefore, i didn’t enjoy it. 

we got the marita reveal; tons of 1973 lore; attempts at humanizing CSM- and then him immediately being evil again; foolish mulder choices; scully being taken advantage of; krycek doing… whatever it is he does, really; the end of the syndicate; spender redemption arc and possibly death; and the rise of the rebels as the new big bad? so… are the other aliens who are made of the purity stuff just not a threat anymore? or will they be competing for dominance in colonization?? and where did the fetus come from and where did it go?

hmm. i need to go ponder. but i’m not very pleased. 

a day later, i am still not very pleased. the smashing of too many things together is a simple writing flaw. it comes with the territory. i'm used to it by now, if still mildly perturbed. but man, mulder trusting diana and CSM over scully. whew. sometimes, it's like the writers have this character, and spend so much time crafting him as this devoted, if deeply flawed and egotistical guy who would do anything to save the people he loves, and then... they just... make him not care about anyone or anything. and pretend like it's the same guy. as if i was not the victim of a bait and switch here. and it's happened often enough where you'd think i'd see some sort of pattern or in-character justification for his sudden change of heart, but we never get it. never.

so, CSM claimed he could see his sister if everyone else in the world died and they became alien slaves. how many times has he dangled his sister over mulder's head before? why is this something he would still even consider? why does he take CSM's word about his father at face value? he doesn't even LIKE his father, and now CSM says oh, he wanted to save everyone, and mulder just. eats it up. with no evidence to support thing. i just don't get it. and then he gives up. sits in diana's apartment, ready to let everyone die. it's only scully's call that wakes him up, makes him take his characteristic action.

idk. is there something i'm missing here? does this make sense to anyone else? have you all come to see some sort of internal logic to his actions after spending years with these episodes and arcs, and i just have to put the pieces together and come to the conclusions that you reached decades ago? will there be some reveal that makes this all make sense eventually? am i even being coherent?

hmm. this is another of those episodes that makes me want to throw my laptop in the river. i will ponder other, better episodes in the meantime.

[writer-at-the-table]

It's funny to me that The X- Files doesn't care about consistent continuity when it comes to things like the ongoing conspiracy plot on which the entire central premise centers, or the timelines of major figures like Mulder's father,

but when it comes to tiny details like the pencils Mulder threw into the ceiling of the X-Files office, the show is absolutely meticulous.

[thethingything]

also shoutout to the hospital for sending us a bunch of PDFs with information about preparing for surgery and what to expect, except the information was all generic stuff where most of it does't actually apply to wisdom tooth removal, so I had a huge panic attack where I nearly threw up because a bunch of the stuff mentioned in there is extremely triggering for us, only to then find out that stuff literally doesn't apply anyway, but now I feel like I have even less of an idea of what to actually expect because it's so hard to figure out which information does apply

[aeide-thea]

god i know that complaining abt fic which most of you haven't read, and which i won't, for politeness' sake, identify in this post, is a great way to come across as both dickish and boring—

but i've been rereading a very long, very satisfyingly plotty series that's a fandom darling and the thing is, when you read like 400k of an author's work at once it really starts to become painfully apparent what their priorities are, by which i mean two things:

holy shit they're obsessed with 'what if strong powerful men who could hurt you didn't (but did hurt Bad Guys) (and it was sexy of them),' which leads into

holy shit they do not appear to have thought through the implications of saying 'i will have my heroes take over the same power structures that have enabled abuse, make no real changes to those structures other than swapping out the leadership, and then claim that everything is wonderful now bc Good Men Are In Charge'??

like. i don't necessarily need every passing fantasy to present me with a coherent, revolutionary system of politics and ethics—sometimes things are just fun and sexy and not especially Examined and that's fine!—but by the time someone's written literally almost half a million words, and done a lot of worldbuilding while they were at it, i am going to start squinting if they seem to think a Good Man can e.g. become an emperor by killing off the leadership of multiple countries and installing puppet kings loyal to him and still remain a Good Man, even if the justification was that the original leadership was maltreating its citizens and deserved to be extrajudicially executed. like. this shit was a bad, autocratic move when the US did it in real life and it's still bad now that you're having our mutual blorbo do it in fiction! and that's not even getting into the whole thing where like. they've got servants who the Good Man and his friends ""treat well"" but who very much remain second-class citizens in terms of how the story actually frames them and their concerns. [this was also a huge issue i had with foz m*adows' most recent book—everyone wants to write about fantasy nobles but they also want to make them good people and it's like. honestly i think it might be better to get comfortable writing about flawed people, but also—if your aristos aren't treating their servants like equals and your text isn't either, you haven't actually cracked the Moral Aristo paradox, sorry!] like, there's nothing that says your story has to depict a fully Healed World, nor should there be! but it's troubling if you seem to be convinced you've written one (and have your wide-eyed love interests constantly marveling at it!) when you very patently haven't.

[kkmcshouty]

More code stuff cause funnily enough this is somehow easier to post progress on than actual art. That said, I'm slowly but steadily building my own stream overlay for twitch!

Worst part of this is was the fact that the documentation would have you think that you need to replace the emotes one by one in the code (since the emotes start as just text) but NOPE. When getting the chat messages through StreamerBot there's this fun little section titled "parts" which has the message pre-setup and ready to go in cute little pieces, telling you if they're emotes or normal text or not and they're all in order too! Unlike the section labeled "emotes" which for SOME reason is sorted by id and not position.

tl;dr/say that again in english: I wrote 300ish lines of intricate code just to find there was a simpler way to do it. So simple I'd say it would be usable to teach to beginners as an example project ;; I was able to reuse about 50 lines with minor modification but man. I wasn't expecting EMOTES to take two 9hr days to properly code in

[sophiamcdougall]

You're a reasonably informed person on the internet. You've experienced things like no longer being able to get files off an old storage device, media you've downloaded suddenly going poof, sites and forums with troves full of people's thoughts and ideas vanishing forever. You've heard of cybercrime. You've read articles about lost media. You have at least a basic understanding that digital data is vulnerable, is what I'm saying. I'm guessing that you're also aware that history is, you know... important? And that it's an ongoing study, requiring ... data about how people live? And that it's not just about stanning celebrities that happen to be dead? Congratulations, you are significantly better-informed than the British government! So they're currently like "Oh hai can we destroy all these historical documents pls? To save money? Because we'll digitise them first so it's fine! That'll be easy, cheap and reliable -- right? These wills from the 1850s will totally be fine for another 170 years as a PNG or whatever, yeah? We didn't need to do an impact assesment about this because it's clearly win-win! We'd keep the physical wills of Famous People™ though because Famous People™ actually matter, unlike you plebs. We don't think there are any equalities implications about this, either! Also the only examples of Famous People™ we can think of are all white and rich, only one is a woman and she got famous because of the guy she married. Kisses!"

Yes, this is the same Government that's like "Oh no removing a statue of slave trader is erasing history :(" You have, however, until 23 February 2024 to politely inquire of them what the fuck they are smoking. And they will have to publish a summary of the responses they receive. And it will look kind of bad if the feedback is well-argued, informative and overwhelmingly negative and they go ahead and do it anyway. I currently edit documents including responses to consultations like (but significantly less insane) than this one. Responses do actually matter. I would particularly encourage British people/people based in the UK to do this, but as far as I can see it doesn't say you have to be either. If you are, say, a historian or an archivist, or someone who specialises in digital data do say so and draw on your expertise in your answers. This isn't a question of filling out a form. You have to manually compose an email answering the 12 questions in the consultation paper at the link above. I'll put my own answers under the fold. Note -- I never know if I'm being too rude in these sorts of things. You probably shouldn't be ruder than I have been.

Please do not copy and paste any of this: that would defeat the purpose. This isn't a petition, they need to see a range of individual responses. But it may give you a jumping-off point.

Question 1: Should the current law providing for the inspection of wills be preserved?

Yes. Our ability to understand our shared past is a fundamental aspect of our heritage. It is not possible for any authority to know in advance what future insights they are supporting or impeding by their treatment of material evidence. Safeguarding the historical record for future generations should be considered an extremely important duty.

Question 2: Are there any reforms you would suggest to the current law enabling wills to be inspected?

No.

Question 3: Are there any reasons why the High Court should store original paper will documents on a permanent basis, as opposed to just retaining a digitised copy of that material?

Yes. I am amazed that the recent cyber attack on the British Library, which has effectively paralysed it completely, not been sufficient to answer this question for you.  I also refer you to the fate of the Domesday Project. Digital storage is useful and can help more people access information; however, it is also inherently fragile. Malice, accident, or eventual inevitable obsolescence not merely might occur, but absolutely should be expected. It is ludicrously naive and reflects a truly unpardonable ignorance to assume that information preserved only in digital form is somehow inviolable and safe, or that a physical document once digitised, never need be digitised again..At absolute minimum, it should be understood as certain that at least some of any digital-only archive will eventually be permanently lost. It is not remotely implausible that all of it would be. Preserving the physical documents provides a crucial failsafe. It also allows any errors in reproduction -- also inevitable-- to be, eventually, seen and corrected. Note that maintaining, upgrading and replacing digital infrastructure is not free, easy or reliable. Over the long term, risks to the data concerned can only accumulate.

"Unlike the methods for preserving analog documents that have been honed over millennia, there is no deep precedence to look to regarding the management of digital records. As such, the processing, long-term storage, and distribution potential of archival digital data are highly unresolved issues. [..] the more digital data is migrated, translated, and re-compressed into new formats, the more room there is for information to be lost, be it at the microbit-level of preservation. Any failure to contend with the instability of digital storage mediums, hardware obsolescence, and software obsolescence thus meets a terminal end—the definitive loss of information. The common belief that digital data is safe so long as it is backed up according to the 3-2-1 rule (3 copies on 2 different formats with 1 copy saved off site) belies the fact that it is fundamentally unclear how long digital information can or will remain intact. What is certain is that its unique vulnerabilities do become more pertinent with age."  -- James Boyda, On Loss in the 21st Century: Digital Decay and the Archive, Introduction.

Question 4: Do you agree that after a certain time original paper documents (from 1858 onwards) may be destroyed (other than for famous individuals)? Are there any alternatives, involving the public or private sector, you can suggest to their being destroyed?

Absolutely not. And I would have hoped we were past the "great man" theory of history. Firstly, you do not know which figures will still be considered "famous" in the future and which currently obscure individuals may deserve and eventually receive greater attention. I note that of the three figures you mention here as notable enough to have their wills preserved, all are white, the majority are male (the one woman having achieved fame through marriage) and all were wealthy at the time of their death. Any such approach will certainly cull evidence of the lives of women, people of colour and the poor from the historical record, and send a clear message about whose lives you consider worth remembering.

Secondly, the famous and successsful are only a small part of our history. Understanding the realities that shaped our past and continue to mould our present requires evidence of the lives of so-called "ordinary people"!

Did you even speak to any historians before coming up with this idea?

Entrusting the documents to the private sector would be similarly disastrous. What happens when a private company goes bust or decides that preserving this material is no longer profitable? What reasonable person, confronted with our crumbling privatised water infrastructure, would willingly consign any part of our heritage to a similar fate?

Question 5: Do you agree that there is equivalence between paper and digital copies of wills so that the ECA 2000 can be used?

No. And it raises serious questions about the skill and knowledge base within HMCTS and the government that the very basic concepts of data loss and the digital dark age appear to be unknown to you. I also refer you to the Domesday Project.

Question 6: Are there any other matters directly related to the retention of digital or paper wills that are not covered by the proposed exercise of the powers in the ECA 2000 that you consider are necessary?

Destroying the physical documents will always be an unforgivable dereliction of legal and moral duty.

Question 7: If the Government pursues preserving permanently only a digital copy of a will document, should it seek to reform the primary legislation by introducing a Bill or do so under the ECA 2000?

Destroying the physical documents will always be an unforgivable dereliction of legal and moral duty.

Question 8: If the Government moves to digital only copies of original will documents, what do you think the retention period for the original paper wills should be? Please give reasons and state what you believe the minimum retention period should be and whether you consider the Government’s suggestion of 25 years to be reasonable.

There is no good version of this plan. The physical documents should be preserved.

Question 9: Do you agree with the principle that wills of famous people should be preserved in the original paper form for historic interest?

This question betrays deep ignorance of what "historic interest" actually is. The study of history is not simply glorified celebrity gossip. If anything, the physical wills of currently famous people could be considered more expendable as it is likely that their contents are so widely diffused as to be relatively "safe", whereas the wills of so-called "ordinary people" will, especially in aggregate, provide insights that have not yet been explored.

Question 10: Do you have any initial suggestions on the criteria which should be adopted for identifying famous/historic figures whose original paper will document should be preserved permanently?

Abandon this entire lamentable plan. As previously discussed, you do not and cannot know who will be considered "famous" in the future, and fame is a profoundly flawed criterion of historical significance.

Question 11: Do you agree that the Probate Registries should only permanently retain wills and codicils from the documents submitted in support of a probate application? Please explain, if setting out the case for retention of any other documents.

No, all the documents should be preserved indefinitely.

Question 12: Do you agree that we have correctly identified the range and extent of the equalities impacts under each of these proposals set out in this consultation? Please give reasons and supply evidence of further equalities impacts as appropriate.

No. You appear to have neglected equalities impacts entirely. As discussed, in your drive to prioritise "famous people", your plan will certainly prioritise the white, wealthy and mostly the male, as your "Charles Dickens, Charles Darwin and Princess Diana" examples amply indicate. This plan will create a two-tier system where evidence of the lives of the privileged is carefully preserved while information regarding people of colour, women, the working class and other disadvantaged groups is disproportionately abandoned to digital decay and eventual loss. Current and future historians from, or specialising in the history of minority groups will be especially impoverished by this.  

[merrinla]

More finds in the cut content. What's interesting is that this is post-game content. I don't know if these are pieces of DLC or an extended epilogue. Rook and Lucanis drink wine in a gondola. In one version, Lucanis refused to be First Talon and left the crows. The Viper arrives to Treviso to hire Lucanis to kill the local Venatori. The lines in the localization file are out of order. I've organized them as best I could, but I'm not sure if everything is correct.

The gondola scene

Rook: What are we celebrating? Revenge? Saving the world? Lucanis: How about a quiet moment? Rook: Is it quiet? Really? Lucanis: If it's not quiet, it's at least clear.

Option: If only the Antaam were gone. Rook: Treviso's beautiful. Too bad it's filled with Antaam.

Option: You're surprisingly romantic. Rook: Who knew you were a romantic? Lucanis: You bring it out in me. Rook: Yeah, yeah. I'm a bad influence.

Option: Let's not go back. Rook: Let's stay here forever. Lucanis: A little. Not forever.

Rook: What? No fancy glasses? Lucanis: That's Caterina's style. I'm more pragmatic. Lucanis: Well, more pragmatic than her anyway.

Option: Learn from your elders. Rook: There's nothing wrong with a bit of class. Lucanis: (Chuckles) I'll remember for next time. Rook: Oh yes. This is so pragmatic. Lucanis: I know.

Option: Casual's better. Rook: Less clean up. Rook: That's why we're having drinks in a gondola instead of the kitchen. Lucanis: Knew you'd understand.

Lucanis: Is it wrong? Enjoying ourselves while the Antaam terrorize our home... (Crow Origin) Lucanis: Is it wrong? Enjoying ourselves while the Antaam terrorize Antiva... Rook: Does it feel wrong?

(apparently Rook moved, causing the boat to rock.) Lucanis: Careful. Gondolas are more fashionable than they are stable. Rook: They're plenty sturdy. Rook: See. Nothing to— Rook: Oops? Lucanis: You were saying? Rook: Sorry. Lucanis: (Chuckles) Classic Rook. Rook: Classic Rook, he'll/she'll/tehey'll never change. Rook: I've made things awkward. Lucanis: I like this side of you. Lucanis: More wine? Rook: I saved the wine? Lucanis: (Laughs)

(Talon's version) Rook: How are you settling in as First Talon? Lucanis: There was some initial... friction with Caterina, but she got over it. Lucanis: She thought I'd do things her way and was surprised when I had my own ideas. Rook: Really? You'd think she'd be the most welcoming. Lucanis: No.

Rook: Have you spoken to Caterina or the others? Lucanis: Letters here and there. We haven't met since the party. Lucanis: I don't want to cut ties. Lucanis: But Caterina needs to get used to the fact that I'm no longer her heir. Rook: Are you used to it? Lucanis: I was never comfortable with the role to begin with. Rook: So, no regrets? Lucanis: (Sigh) Rook: It's a yes or no question, Lucanis. Lucanis: It's not. You've enough experience with regret to know that.

Rook: I respect your decision to walk away. Lucanis: It wasn't an easy decision. Lucanis: It was hard. Walking away. Rook: It was hard watching it. Lucanis: Let's not talk about me.

Rook: It's not an interrogation if you care. Lucanis: Why not? I've been thoroughly interrogated. Rook: (Snorts) Is that how it works?

Option: Your priorities have changed. Rook: You've changed your tune. Lucanis: I am. On what's important.

Lucanis: Rook. I owe you. For my life, my freedom.

Option: Consider it paid in full. Rook: That debt was paid when you helped us defeat the elven gods. Lucanis: No. That was a job. What you've done for me...

Option: I needed a mage killer. Rook: I had selfish reasons. Lucanis: Rook. I'm serious. Lucanis: Whatever your reasons...

Lucanis: The Venatori killed the man I was. Lucanis: You put the fight—the life—back into me. Rook: I... Thanks.

Lucanis: If you need someone taken care of... Just say the word. Lucanis: Your enemies are House Dellamorte's enemies. (Talon's line) Lucanis: Your enemies are my enemies.

Option: You make murder sound sweet. Rook: Awww. That's sweet. And scary. Lucanis: Of course those are the same thing to you. Rook: I was only teasing. Lucanis: How am I supposed to argue when you say things like that?

Option: I'll settle for friendship. Rook: Or we could just be friends? No killing required. Rook: I still care about you—as a friend. Lucanis: Didn't want you to get the wrong idea... Lucanis: We're still friends. Lucanis: If that's what you want... Rook: Appreciate it.

(non romance/friendship version?) Rook: Oh, I'm aware. Just haven't figured out what I want in return. Lucanis: (Chuckles) Lucanis: For a price. Rook: And you'll charge me... Lucanis: Like I said—a fair rate. (Talon's line) Lucanis: I'm not a Crow anymore. Rates are negotiable. Rook: Still sounds pretty Crow-y to me.

Rook: It's passed sundown. Lucanis: (Sighs) Rook: Time to go? Lucanis: I've business before we return. Rook: What kind of business? Lucanis: Competitive analysis.

Lucanis: Don't worry. I'll collect. Rook: Fun time over? Lucanis: I've business before we return. Rook: What kind of business? Lucanis: Competitive analysis.

Possibly lines from a subsequent quest.

Rook: Business at a Chantry. Not very Andrastian of you. Lucanis: What in our experience together makes you think I'm a good Andrastian? Rook: (Chuckles) Fair enough.

Rook: You sound like you have a plan. Lucanis: Always another mark. Rook: I take it the Antaam are the subject of this so-called analysis? Rook: Why do I get the feeling there's going to be less "analysis" and more stabby-stab? Lucanis: Keeps Wrath content. (Wrath is Spite's previous name?)

Lucanis: Viago said it'd be a fitting spot. Rook: You've proven it's a good spot for an ambush. Lucanis: And you're loud. Which do you think will attract the Antaam?

Meeting with Ashur. It seems as if Lucanis and the Viper were discussing their business, and then Rook came.

The Viper: If you don't trust my intel— Lucanis: I trust your intel and... Lucanis: Fortunate the Rook is here to save the day. Rook: The Rook can detect sarcasm!

Option: Ashur, you shouldn't be here. Rook: This isn't Minrathous. Rook: Ashur, if the Antaam find out you're here... The Viper: I've paid the right people so that they don't.

Option: You two make quite the pair. Rook: The Viper and the Demon. Sounds like a nursery rhyme to scare children.

The Viper: I was just leaving. Rook: Leaving so soon? Rook: You don't have to. Lucanis and I could show you the sights. Rook: There's wine tasting, Antaam assassinating, gambling— Lucanis: Rook. The Viper: You're ruining Rook's fun. Rook: Think about my offer.

The Viper: Should I pay now or— Lucanis: Just go.

Rook: What did he want? Lucanis: Some of us have work to do. Lucanis: It's about time I take care of things at home.

Rook: Who's the mark? Lucanis: Venatori who fled Minrathous after Elgar'nan's fall. Rook: That's why Ashur was here. Lucanis: He's the one who hired me to dismantle the Venatori in the first place. Lucanis: Might as well finish the job.

The most unclear part. Maybe it's related to the quest to kill the Venatori that Viper pointed out.

Rook: Can't take the huge door. Lucanis: The Venatori are inside. Strike from above and we'll take them by surprise. Rook: Above, eh? Rook: Good thing I'm not afraid of heights.

Rook: Not sure why Antivans even build doors. Rook: We never use them. (Crow Origin) Rook: You never use them. Lucanis: We're the Antivan-fucking-Crows.

Rook: We need to be cautious. Rook: If we're not careful, he'll kill the girl. Lucanis: Not if he's dead.

Lucanis: Focus on the self-important bastard. I'll take care of the rest. Rook: They're all self-important—and why do you get so many? Lucanis: Their predictability makes them easy targets.

Venatori: Two, four, six piggies come to slaughter. Venatori: Be grateful. Your meager existence will serve a higher cause. Rook: I'll show you a higher cause right up your— Venatori: (Grunts!) Venatori: Uh—God killer! Right he— Lucanis: Mage killer. Venatori: (Yells in pain) Rook: Lucanis! That's cheating! Lucanis!

Lucanis: Fucking Venatori. Rook: (Sigh) You can take the blood mages out of Minrathous, but…

[thankskenpenders]

The Lara-Su Chronicles: Beginnings review

The day has finally come. Many, understandably, thought we'd never get here. Maybe we shouldn't have gotten here. We've been through so much. Lawsuits, reboots, redesigns, unreleased NFTs, empty legal threats over the fact that movie Knuckles has a dad, an attempt to license out Scourge the Hedgehog to fans that immediately got canceled (in both meanings of the term), and many, MANY idiotic Twitter controversies. But now, here we are.

Thirteen years after first announcing it in the middle of his legal battles with Archie and Sega that changed the American Sonic comics forever, former writer Ken Penders has released the first part of his new series: The Lara-Su Chronicles.

Yes. I had to buy the book. I had to take one for the team. Look at the fucking URL of this blog, a blog I've been using to talk about the American Sonic comics for nearly a decade while the specter of this book loomed in the distance. The one time I've actually been paid to write an article about anything in any professional capacity, it was an article about the Penders lawsuits. I'm cited on his Wikipedia page. There was no way I was going to skip reviewing this, and there was no guarantee that scans would ever turn up online given the incredibly small audience for this trash. (Only 166 people preordered this, and even that number feels way higher than it should be.) No, I had to preorder it to ensure I could get a copy and cover it for the blog... even if that meant my name would be forever immortalized in the list of "supporters" in the back of the book. These are the sacrifices I must make as a woman who stumbled ass backwards into being an amateur Archie Sonic historian.

So, what exactly is in this book? How much of it is new? How bad is it? How did we even get here in the first place? How can this exist without Sega pursuing legal action? What happens next? And, most importantly... why are there multiple depictions of an Archie Sonic character breastfeeding in this book?

I'm here to answer those questions as best I can, and in agonizing detail.

First, for those just tuning in to this decades-long saga or those who maybe don't know the full story, here's a refresher on the background info.

"What the hell is this?"

The Lara-Su Chronicles is Ken Penders' long-dreaded long-awaited continuation of his 1994-2006 run on Archie Sonic, ignoring everything written after he left by other writers like Ian Flynn. In particular, it picks up from the cliffhanger ending of the 2003-2004 arc "Mobius: 25 Years Later," which was set in what Ken considers the definitive canonical future of the series. It stars Knuckles' daughter from that future era, Lara-Su, among other new and returning characters. The project was first announced near the start of Ken's legal battle with Archie in 2011, and he's been posting WIP previews online for about a decade. Now, after all this time, a Lara-Su Chronicles book finally exists.

We'll get to the actual contents of that book in a bit.

"He can do that without getting in trouble with Sega?"

Believe it or not, yes, he can.

Thanks to the outcome of Archie Comics' woefully mismanaged lawsuits against Ken (yes, they sued him after he started filing for copyrights, not the other way around), he now has full legal ownership of every story he wrote for Archie Sonic and every character he created for the series. This was explicitly granted to him in the terms of the settlement between him and Archie (acting on behalf of Sega). He can even reprint his old Sonic material as-is to his heart's content. The main catch is just that he can't write new stories featuring Sega characters or trademarks, and his new stories also have to be distinct from Sonic at a glance to avoid confusing readers. As such, reprints can't use Sonic iconography on the cover, a few Sega characters (mainly Knuckles) have been renamed and slightly redesigned in the new stories, and the art style has been changed to less closely resemble Sonic. But otherwise, he can do whatever he wants with his own characters.

All of this is because Archie lost the original copy of Ken's work-for-hire contract that signed over the rights to his work. Without that (or any alternative that was considered permissible in court), his comics and characters are the property of their creator by default. Yes, those old comics are full of Sega stuff, but Sega doesn't automatically own the copyright for every drawing of Sonic in existence. And Sega put their stamp of approval all over those comics and let them get sold at retail for decades, even though (in the eyes of the court) there was no legal paperwork granting them ownership of any of it. It's almost like they were unwittingly distributing a fan comic for years and declaring it a fair use of their property, and now there's no takesies backsies. It's a strange and unique copyright situation. Again, they worked all this out in the settlement. And, yes, fans have long speculated that Ken stole and destroyed his own contract to regain the rights to his work, but frankly Archie was so incompetent throughout the lawsuit (it went so bad that they had to fire and replace their lawyers midway through) that I completely buy the idea of them just losing important legal documents.

Also, in case it needs to be spelled out: while Ken's a weirdo, it's ultimately a good thing for creatives everywhere that Archie lost their lawsuit against Ken. We do not want to live in a world where corporations can claim ownership of peoples' work without the contracts to back it up. That would be an incredibly dangerous legal precedent to set. And more comic creators, and artists in general, should own their own work! Corporations are not your friend! They'll delete your work for a tax write-off in a heartbeat! It's just bewildering that this guy, of all people, was the creator who ended up successfully getting his shit back, and that this is what he's doing with it.

"What about his old collaborators? Are they involved? Is he paying them?"

Ken is mostly doing The Lara-Su Chronicles solo, though he has, in fact, talked about compensating the artists involved in any material he's reprinting. The ones who give enough of a shit to get paid for a small scale reprint of something they did 20 years ago, anyway.

On the subject of his collaborators, it's also worth pointing out that Ken's wasn't the only contract that was lost. Most of the early Archie Sonic writers from before Ian Flynn's time seem to be in the same boat as Ken, with the ownership of their stories and characters defaulting back to them. Again, Archie fucked up big time. But like I said, most of them don't really seem to give a shit. For most of them, Sonic was just a random temporary gig they took to pay the bills while Marvel was busy going bankrupt in the '90s, not the thing that defined their entire careers.

The only other Archie Sonic contributor who's tried to do anything on the level of what Ken is doing was writer and editor Scott Fulop. In 2016 he attempted to sue Archie for the unauthorized use of what are now retroactively considered his copyrighted characters and stories, and he even announced a standalone comic about his most famous Sonic character, the recurring villain Mammoth Mogul (sort of a pastiche of DC's Vandal Savage and Marvel's Kingpin, with wizard powers added for spice). However, Fulop lost his lawsuit because he didn't put together a particularly compelling case. Since then he seems to have wiped all traces of his ill-advised Mammoth Mogul comic and his company, Narrative Ark Entertainment, from the internet. For now, this leaves The Lara-Su Chronicles the only project of its kind.

"What about those other Archie Sonic reprints he just announced?"

At the time of writing, Ken is once again claiming that he's trying to get the band back together to reprint all of Archie Sonic, now under the bad new banner "Floating Island Productions: MOBIAN LINE" that I can't imagine he consulted literally anyone else on.

So, like, look. As we've established, Ken can reprint his own stories. And if he can work something out with the other contributors whose contracts were lost, he can print their work, too. But there is no fucking way he's getting his hands on Ian Flynn's run, which Sega undoubtedly holds the copyright for. Even if they don't, Ian needs to maintain a good working relationship with both Sega and IDW if he's to keep his job, so he'd never go for this. Not to mention that Ian and Ken just... don't get along! Ken's whole plan here seems to be predicated on IDW going out of business (a thing he REALLY wants to happen) and freeing up the Sonic comic license, after which he knocks on Sega's door and goes "hey I've still got dirt on you guys," blackmailing them into giving him the Sonic license back so that he can reprint the later comics. Every step of this plan is ludicrous. It's never gonna happen.

He's been saying he wants to reprint the whole series for a few years now, though. This isn't really anything new. And despite his lofty plans that set Sonic Twitter ablaze, he quickly backpedaled. The only specific things in the works right now are a "two-volume omnibus" of all of his Knuckles stories and a collection of artist Scott Shaw's work on the very early Archie Sonic issues, since they're on good terms with each other. I have no idea how Ken plans on packaging these when he can't put any Sega characters or the Freedom Fighters on the covers, but these projects are small enough in scale that there's a decent chance they'll see the light of day. Scott Shaw only did like five issues. But anything beyond that? I'll believe it when I see it.

Or, y'know, this could've all just been a publicity stunt for his new book. I wouldn't put it past him. Let's just focus on the book that actually exists.

"So he finally did it? He made a whole Lara-Su book? It's out? He finished it??"

Yes and no.

The book that's out now is The Lara-Su Chronicles: Beginnings, a prologue for the series of seven graphic novels Ken somehow plans on making, even though it's taken him 13 years to put out literally anything new. I don't know whether or not this counts as book one of seven, because it only features 30 pages of new comics. 30.5 if I'm being generous.

Most of the book is actually just a reprint of his infamous Archie Sonic storyline "Mobius: 25 Years Later", which ran from issue #131 to #144 in 2003-2004. (Again, yes, he can reprint this, he just can't put Sonic on the cover.) Why's it infamous? Well, Ken had been building anticipation for this future era of the series for basically his entire run. We kept seeing King Sonic and Queen Sally from the future. Knuckles' entire backstory hinges on his dad having a vision of this future. Several years before Silver the Hedgehog was created, it was Lara-Su who was Sonic's equivalent to Future Trunks, the cool-looking child of one of the main characters who traveled back in time to try and prevent a dark future. Believe it or not, yes, there was hype for Lara-Su. And then we finally got M25YL, and none of that cool stuff happened. Instead it really ended up being about how unbearably boring the middle aged Sonic, Knuckles, Sally, and co. are in this peaceful future where Robotnik is dead and they're all married with kids, forced into traditional nuclear family gender roles. Lara-Su is present, but she mostly just does generic teen girl stuff and complains about how Knuckles won't let her do anything even though she REALLY wants to be the new Guardian of Angel Island, like, super bad! Come on, dad!!!

In its original printing, this meandering arc ended on an abrupt time travel cliffhanger that Ken was never able to follow up on before he left Archie in 2006. This new printing slightly changes that ending, using the unresolved timey-wimey shenanigans as a convenient excuse to alter the entire timeline. This creates the slightly different world of The Lara-Su Chronicles, where the few relevant Sega-owned characters have been replaced and everyone is ten times uglier.

After this, we finally get two short new stories picking up where M25YL left off: "The Storm," starring Acorn Kingdom super-spy and known creep Geoffrey St. John, and an early release of the first chapter of The Lara-Su Chronicles: Shattered Tomorrows, the first full TLSC graphic novel.

And now that we're all on the same page about what we're looking at, let's actually talk about the book!

The cover

Let's start by beating a dead horse. The cover art: it's still bad! But why is it bad?

The cover is, of course, based on Patrick Spaziante's cover from Archie Sonic #131, the start of the "Mobius: 25 Years Later" arc. (Ken did the layout for that cover, though, so in the eyes of the law he's the original creator who owns that cover.) That cover was, itself, a tribute to the iconic cover of Giant-Size X-Men #1 by Gil Kane and Dave Cockrum, the issue that introduced the version of the team with Wolverine, Storm, Nightcrawler, etc.

Ken seems to have forgotten that the point of both these covers was to hype up the arrival of a new cast of characters. The new guys are supposed to make a dramatic entrance front and center. That's the focal point. Meanwhile, the cover for Beginnings has the old timeline versions of the cast from Archie Sonic dramatically bursting out of a shattered crystal ball, while their new counterparts look on in mild bemusement - if they're even bothering to look at all, since most of the characters here are just copied and pasted from their profile pages. That's just not how you do this particular homage! The point is supposed to be "out with the old, in with the new." And why are they using a crystal ball to view the past? Hell, why are they even using a crystal ball at all? The original arc was presented as a magical vision of the future courtesy of Tails' uncle Merlin (don't ask), but the new story leans all the way into being futuristic sci-fi.

Of course, there is no real artistic intent at play here. The old versions of the characters are placed front and center in the crystal ball simply because Ken traced over Spaziante's original art of Lara-Su and Julie-Su (the only two characters on the Sonic cover he owns) and threw out the rest, ruining the composition in the process. Look at the awkward empty space where Sonic, Sally, and Rotor once were, and the new drawing of The Character Formerly Known As Knuckles who's no longer properly centered between his wife and daughter. Even if Ken can claim ownership of the cover because he did the original layout, this all just feels scummy and lame.

And, yeah, if it needs to be said, the new characters and Ken's new rendering style look like absolute fucking dogshit. Putting new Lara-Su directly next to old Lara-Su does her no favors. The shattered glass effect looks absolutely atrocious. I could go on, but we'll have plenty of time to talk about the art style when we see how bad the stories inside look.

Changes to "Mobius: 25 Years Later"

Overall, 99% of M25YL is presented identically to its original printing. Sonic, Sally, Knuckles, et al. are still present with no changes to their names and no tweaks to the art. Even the original cover for issue #131 is included only a few pages into this book with its Archie, Sonic, and Sega logos still intact and everything. Again, because of the weird copyright situation described above, these preexisting comics can be released without any changes.

There is exactly one bizarre change to the art, though, where a hand drawn shot of Angel Island is replaced with an unfitting photo background and the ugly Floating Island photobash that Ken has been using as his personal logo for decades. I think he only did this as part of a test for his motion comic app that nobody asked for. I don't know why this had to make it into the print version. It's like the book is firing a warning shot for what's to come if you keep reading.

The new content begins on the final page of M25YL. In the original wet fart of a cliffhanger ending, Sonic and co. accidentally alter the timeline with an old time machine of Robotnik's and Lara-Su begins to fade away. Then, after everything goes white, we just cut to the present day heroes going "gee, you ever think about the future?" In this new printing, that last bit has been cut, and the rest of the page has been awkwardly shrunk down so that Ken can fit in a new panel. We now see the hands of an off-screen villain, seemingly named "Override," proclaiming that "the Praetorian" (Knuckles) has messed up the timeline again and that they'll finally get their revenge.

Who is this Override? I have no fucking clue. The new stories in this book make no mention of them. You have to buy the next book to find out.

My confusion over the identity of this villain overlaps with another big problem: name changes. So many names and nouns have been arbitrarily changed in The Lara-Su Chronicles, even ones Ken didn't have to change for copyright reasons, and I only know what half of them are replacing because Ken's been tweeting about this shit for years.

The echidnas are now a totally original alien race called "the Echyd'nya." Even in flashbacks to events from M25YL attempting to mimic the old art style, if it's on a new comic page, they're gonna call themselves "Echyd'nya." Evil echidna faction the Dark Legion is now the "Cyberdark Dominion," hailing from the "Cyberdark Colony." The Brotherhood of Guardians is still the Brotherhood of Guardians, but now the main guardian is called "The Praetorian." Angel Island is still called "The Floating Island," like it was in the older Archie comics, but it's ALSO sometimes called "Avion"? When I read this I wasn't sure if he had randomly renamed Albion, the other echidna city from the Archie comics. But no. Now we have an Albion AND an Avion. Sally is mentioned simply as "Princess Acorn," while Sonic is referenced once as an unnamed "blue-spined Erinaceinae," using the scientific name for hedgehog to make it sound more sci-fi. In an incredibly ballsy move, Ken even mentions Robotnik as "the Insurrectionist Kintobor," retaining his original surname from the Archie comics that's just "Robotnik" backwards. Guess Sega never trademarked that one.

Aside from every name change being a downgrade, this leads to confusion when you're not sure if something is supposed to be new, or if it's just an Archie thing you're supposed to recognize despite having a new name and design. Is "Override" someone I'm supposed to know already? Am I just supposed to have read a fucking tweet from Ken where he said he changed the name of some existing villain to "Override"? The answer is no, but I had to term search his Twitter just to verify this.

Moving on!

New story #1: "The Storm"

If you've been following the WIPs, this is that story about Geoffrey St. John that Ken's been posting previews of for almost a decade. The title page copyright dates it to 2015, and that absurdly long gestation is probably why the art is so inconsistent here. Even the style of speech bubbles and the font change between pages two and three.

This is a problem when there's supposed to be a deliberate and noticeable change in art style here signaling the moment where the time travel stuff alters the timeline, replacing the Archie Sonic world with the Lara-Su Chronicles world. If you don't already know that's what's going on, the idea isn't conveyed clearly at all. It just goes from one hideous art style to a slightly different one with no explanation.

The main problem here is that Ken has hitched his wagon to a franchise about anthropomorphic animals when he can't draw furries to save his life. (Though a bit later in the book we'll also begin to wonder if he can even still draw humans.) He's shifted away from the cartooniness of the original designs and given them more human proportions and facial features, but this just ends up making them look incredibly uncanny and lumpy and gross. With some designs he's trying to lean into more of a Star Trek alien vibe, but then he still insists upon retaining the giant Sonic eyes on most characters even though he has no idea how to make them emote.

The rendering of these godawful designs doesn't do them any favors, either. Ken's going for more of a painterly look now, but it almost seems as though he's shading everything with Photoshop's burn and dodge tools that are designed to darken and lighten select areas of a photo. The result is a muddy, smudgy look that makes it feel like the color layer has been smeared in vaseline. And it only looks worse after coming off of 14 chapters of M25YL that have way more palatable art.

The backgrounds, too, are a complete mess, a jumble of low res jpeg photo elements (sometimes with extremely noticeable pixelation), stock textures, and smooth digital gradients. There's no real sense of place here, and it gives everything a surreal, dreamlike quality when you can't really tell where anything is supposed to take place. This first story is seemingly set in a high-tech stronghold below Castle Acorn called "the Bunker," but it could just as easily be confused for the bridge of a spaceship. This whole story features characters speaking to each other over floating video displays and hologram projectors from three different locations, but without a hologram effect and without a clear sense of where the characters are it often feels like they're just in the same room as each other. Characters will be in one location on one photo background, and then the camera angle changes and they're in a completely different place, because Ken just uses mismatched photos off of the internet. It's been like 25 years since he first tried using photo backgrounds in the Archie comics and he hasn't gotten any better at it.

When I had my boyfriend read the book to see if it made literally any sense to him (it didn't), Anthony said this: "This is the kind of shit I'd see linked on a Second Life world that hasn't been touched since 2004." I think he really hit the nail on the head. Now, there's actually a contrarian part of me that thinks that might theoretically almost be kind of cool, in sort of a messy counterculture way. I love weird indie shit. I was a Homestuck reader! But this isn't a scrappy mixed media zine, or experimental outsider art from someone just messing around with Photoshop, or a loving throwback to weird old internet art, or even something intentionally bizarre and offputting like Xavier: Renegade Angel or a PilotRedSun video or whatever where the fact that it's weird and ugly is part of the humor. This is supposed to be a sincere sci-fi epic drawing on Star Trek and Jack Kirby comics, made by a guy who's been drawing comics professionally since the '80s. This is supposed to look good. This is supposed to compete with mainstream comics that are on sale right now. He thinks any day now IDW's gonna go out of business and Sega will come crawling back to him so that he can stamp the Sonic logo on shit like this. It just doesn't work.

But, okay. It's ugly. We knew it would be ugly. But that ugliness would be much easier to accept if it was in service of an otherwise genuinely good story. So what about the writing? After all this time, how does Ken choose to kick off this new saga? Well, credit where credit's due. "The Storm" feels like a proper continuation of Ken's writing style from M25YL.

Because it's eleven pages of characters standing around and talking while nothing fucking happens.

Here's the synopsis: A dog woman named Brownie, an ensign in the Royal Secret Service fresh out of training and the only character who's almost cute, walks up to Geoffrey to deliver a report. He's immediately suspicious of her, asking who let her in and if she's a spy for Elias (Sally's brother, if you're new here) or Alicia (Sally's mom). The art style suddenly shifts when the timeline is altered, but the scene continues uninterrupted. Geoffrey points a gun at Brownie when she won't say whose spy she is. Geoffrey is distracted by a call and proceeds to have a conversation via a mix of holograms and video screens with Remington (head of Echidnaopolis security), Spectre (Knuckles' great great great great great grandpa, the one with the helmet who always looks evil), and a new scientist character named Dr. Zephyr/Zephur. (The spelling of this character's name changes multiple times throughout the 11-page story, because I guess nine years wasn't enough time to spellcheck this shit.) They say a bunch of made up technobabble nonsense about how it looks like the timeline was just altered and Knuckles and co. seem to be involved. It's complete drivel that I'm not even going to try to make sense of. Everyone decides to investigate further, and the conversation ends. Brownie tells Geoffrey she's his spy, then walks out and implies she's actually Alicia's spy in her inner monologue.

To be continued!!!

Yes, that's it. It's really just a bunch of technobabble where some characters talk about how it seems like the timeline has been fucked with. That's it. The whole time Geoffrey doesn't even get up out of his damn chair, which he's of course sitting in backwards to show how cool he is. It's just 11 pages of Geoffrey sitting in a chair and talking to people and looking uglier than he's ever looked. Nothing happens. Nine years for this.

I'm also struck by how meaningless all of this is to anyone who hasn't read Archie Sonic. The added context from M25YL may help a little, but "The Storm" focuses on characters who weren't in that arc, and the story does very little to introduce who any of them are. Brownie could've been super useful as an inexperienced point of view character who's only meeting the others for the first time here, but instead she's really just a passive observer who's here as part of some kind of 4D chess game between Geoffrey and Alicia, an off-screen character whose motivations in this era of the story are completely unknown to even returning readers. Who are the good guys and bad guys here? What are the conflicts and the stakes of the story moving forward? What do these characters want? Basic questions like this aren't really answered. I can't imagine a new reader being able to make heads or tails of this. Hell, I can't really imagine a returning reader who hasn't been following the last decade's worth of Ken's tweets about this story making heads or tails of it, either.

...Maybe more will happen in the next story?

New story #2: Shattered Tomorrows preview chapter

After another message from Ken, the story of The Lara-Su Chronicles proper begins with the redesigned Lara-Su walking along a jpeg photograph beach at sunset and crying while thinking about how Knuckles - sorry, his name is K'Nox now - is dead.

Yep! Straight into the dad stuff!

Look, I'm the last person to complain about writers getting super personal and drawing from their own baggage in their writing, but Ken's just no fucking good at it. There's no nuance, nothing interesting to say. He just keeps writing mediocre-to-horrible dads whose misdeeds are always justified by their "good intentions," and then sometimes they die and their kids are like "we may have fought but actually you were the bestest dad ever and I'll miss you forever, I'll never be able to fill your shoes!"

This is the only part of the new material here that feels like it has any heart behind it, because I know how much his complex relationship with his late deadbeat father means to Ken (there's an author's note in this outright saying as much). But the guy died 42 years ago, and it doesn't feel like Ken has had any new thoughts about this part of his life in those four decades. He's just not an introspective or self-aware enough artist to actually mine his personal baggage for anything beyond "father knows best."

Anyway, so then it jumps forward in time(?) and now we're following this human guy who looks like this.

Previously, Ken got a lot of shit for literally just using the likeness of Anthony Mackie for this guy, based on his IMDB profile photo. Ken has thus redesigned the character... and by that I mean I think he looks more like Ernie Hudson now? Ken's clearly just working off of photo references (if not straight up tracing), given his face is the most detailed and realistic-looking thing on any page where he's present.

But you may be wondering: who is this, and why is he here? Well, for one, he's here to run around in front of some low res space photos while making trite references to things like Planet of the Apes and Star Trek. Haha, he makes a joke about red shirts! Original!! But beyond that, Commander Mykhal Taelor (yes, that's really how he chose to spell it) is a human... from Earth! Archie Sonic readers are probably confused, because in those comics Mobius is Earth in the distant post-apocalyptic future. Well, despite being a Planet of the Apes fan, Ken always hated that particular worldbuilding decision from Karl Bollers, always preferring to think of Mobius as a separate alien planet. And now he gets to make that canon in his own stories and throw out Karl's ideas. So Mobius is basically just, like, a Star Trek planet now, with its own alien creatures that sometimes just so happen to look like anthropomorphic Earth animals.

Also, at one point Taelor wonders if the inhabitants of the dead Mobius might have been human, and the alien ally he's talking to over the radio says it's unlikely. "I don't understand why your kind has a problem understanding you're a minority within a minority." Perhaps poor wording for a line said to the only Black character in the story.

Anyway, Commander Taelor here seems to have discovered the uninhabited husk of Mobius after the vague time-space cataclysm everyone was worried about in M25YL has come to pass, and he finds an audio log from Lara-Su that I presume will explain what happened. I guess those are the titular Lara-Su Chronicles. In theory this flash forward establishes some sense of pressing danger, but when the threat to the planet is so unclear and technobabble-y it just kind of lands with a thud.

It doesn't take long before we get back to Lara-Su being sad about her dad. A good little chunk of the chapter is spent with this new timeline's Lara-Su recalling moments in her life, including echoes of the original Lara-Su's memories from M25YL, which feels redundant coming hot off the heels of a straight reprint of that entire arc. And boy, for anyone who read the later Archie Sonic comics, the protagonist having vague memories of the old version of the series from before a lawsuit-related timeline reboot sure does sound familiar, huh?

The art inconsistency somehow becomes even worse in this story, with Ken flip-flopping on whether or not he wants to use outlines, with the no-outline art managing to look even worse by relying entirely on Ken's awful rendering. By this point in the book, readers are also likely to start noticing how often Ken reuses art from previous panels. This is a shortcut that tons of comic artists use, of course. Invincible famously did a joke about this. It's often understandable. But, again... it sure does stand out in a book that took 13 years to make with only 30 pages of new art. Amusingly, Ken even manages to combine his inconsistency and recycling problems by reusing the same art with and without outlines. And, of course, any time Ken tries to draw the Archie era designs it's just... the worst.

And, yes, it's in this dreamlike montage sequence of Lara-Su's life that we get...

The uncomfortable family nudity scene, followed by the dual timeline Julie-Su breastfeeding scene.

Yeah, you might have heard about this one already. If this incredibly eerie presentation of Lara-Su's hazy memories of the two different timelines make it hard to tell what's going on, don't worry. There's another, clearer version later in the book as part of Julie-Su's character profile, because I guess Ken was just so proud of it.

(I censored these myself because I'm not playing Russian roulette with Tumblr's inconsistent nudity rules and risking getting banned lmao)

Like, okay. Is a mother breastfeeding her child really that shocking of a thing to see in a story? No, not at all. But, like... when it's two characters who you previously created for an officially licensed Sonic the Hedgehog comic for 7-year-olds... and some of those officially licensed Sonic the Hedgehog comics for 7-year-olds are reprinted in the same book... and when it's drawn like this... yeah, it's kind of a shocker.

It just looks so unnatural. Julie-Su is posed very deliberately so that you'll see both of her breasts, and in the new timeline version she's barely even holding Lara-Su so you can really get a good look at her supermodel body, showing zero physical signs that she just gave birth. Most people will immediately jump to this being Ken putting his fetishes in his work (a type of criticism that I'm incredibly tired of - it's 2024, all the cool artists are blatantly putting their fetishes in their work now). And my immediate response is that, no, this is probably just Ken trying to come off as really mature on a surface level, a thing he's been obsessed with since the Archie days. Free from the shackles of writing a licensed children's comic, of course he's going to jump immediately into depicting some nonsexual, artistic nudity to try and prove he's A Real Mature Artist For Grown-Ups who just thinks the human body is beautiful and breastfeeding shouldn't be a taboo etc. etc.

But then, like. You look at some of the other character designs. Like Espio's daughter Salma, who's now this horrifying alien lizard person who's always nude, and her scale pattern puts scales exactly where her nipples should be. Or you look at his comments about the Echyd'nya age of consent. Or you look at how he keeps drawing Lara-Su in this. Like, does the shuttle really need this, like... reverse chaise lounge thing in the cockpit? So that we can keep getting these shots of the 16-year-old Lara-Su lying on her stomach and posing with one of her legs kicked up, her naked ass in plain view?

The vibe isn't great, is what I'm saying!

I'm not going to try to ascribe authorial intent here. I don't know. I'm not a psychic. Given his very blatant reliance on photo references elsewhere in the book, it's entirely possible he just referenced some figure drawing photos that were maybe just a little too sexy. And also, he's an American comic book artist, and a boomer one at that. Those guys tend to draw women a certain way, even when it's not supposed to be sexual. I don't fucking know. It just sucks. I'm not gonna make some hyperbolic statement about how this makes him a literal pedophile who should be in jail, but it is deeply offputting and objectifying.

But if you already knew about the nursing scenes and were hoping there was some other really shocking stuff in there for me to talk about in this review, sorry to disappoint, but nope. That's the only shockingly weird new thing in here. Once again, not a lot happens in this story, and what does happen is pretty boring.

Once we get past the recap stuff and the human guy, the plot developments boil down to this: The timeline was altered at the end of M25YL... but not as much as you might think. In the new timeline, Knuckles ("K'Nox"), Cobar (now looking significantly younger), and Rotor (now a rhino just called "The Emissary") still traveled via shuttle to go find a time machine in the Badlands and fix the time-space continuum, like in the climax of the original arc. This time, though, Sonic wasn't there, and Lara-Su came along without having to stow away. Lara-Su watches the ship while the grown ups go deal with the time machine, and then after a couple panels Not Rotor comes back with Cobar and is like "Hey, Cobar got hurt, we gotta leave. Dunno what happened to your dad." And then they just, like. Presume that Knuckles must have died. Even though we have no idea what happened to him. And then they just fly away. And then Lara-Su is sad that her dad died.

And that's pretty much it!

This is supposed to be a really emotional sequence - it's literally the scene where Lara-Su learns that Knuckles is dead - but instead it comes off as unintentionally funny because of how poorly it's portrayed. Not showing Knuckles' actual disappearance is a huge misstep, for one, making his uncertain fate more confusing and anticlimactic than dramatic. But also, Ken keeps just using the same two drawings of Rotor for two pages, so he doesn't really seem to be emoting at all, and he's in this spacey hazmat suit that honestly just makes him look like fucking Moltar from Space Ghost. So the whole time I'm just reading his dialogue in Moltar's deadpan voice as he's like "I dunno. We did what we could. Anyway, let's leave."

After this, we get a two-page spread previewing the rest of the story from Shattered Tomorrows. It's basically like a trailer in comic form. It has one of the most mystifying layouts I've ever seen in a comic book. I have no idea what order I'm supposed to read this in.

Yeah, I kinda have a feeling this is the full extent of what Ken has drawn for the rest of that book. I'd love to be wrong, but I fear that I'm right.

Bonus material: Data files

These are mostly very dull, recapping a lot of events shared between Ken's Archie run and the new Lara-Su Chronicles timeline. It seems like almost his entire run is still considered canon to the backstory of the new timeline, just with some names changed, and things only really diverge at the climax of M25YL. But I'll share the interesting stuff here.

Lara-Su

The main thing you'll notice in Lara-Su's profile is the massive, unreadable wall of text where Ken felt the need to list the entire Knuckles family tree, split across both pages.

This is literally so long that Lara-Su's personal history has to awkwardly cut off mid-sentence and be continued on the final page of the book, after the rest of the data files.

Also, please note that this list gives Julie-Su's mom's full name as Mari-Su of the House of Atrades. Incredible on all levels.

There's also a reference to the dark timeline Lara-Su was originally supposed to come from. You know, the one where Julie-Su is the leader of a rebel movement fighting against a Knuckles who had gone mad with power? The timeline that would have been way more interesting than the one in M25YL? Here it seems to have been written off as the result of another "timeline disruption." Lara-Su allegedly has vague memories of this timeline, in the same way that she has vague memories of the M25YL timeline.

Geoffrey

Geoffrey's bio mostly recaps events from the Archie comics, which means the Sonic/Sally/Geoffrey love triangle has to be alluded to. His rivalry with Sonic is described like this:

"He would later resurface when Kintobor was transporting his latest hi-tech weapon, the Dynamac-3000. It was during that mission he discovered a rival for the Princess' affections. Whereas the Princess would be one of a line of conquests where St. John was concerned, the blue-spined Erinaceinae who protested doth a bit too much regarding his affections for the Princess for St. John's taste would prove to be a source of great sport and amusement."

Yes. It's gross. Saying that Geoffrey saw Sally as "one of a line of conquests" is gross. Ken writing this and then still treating Geoffrey as the coolest badass ever is gross. The "Princess Acorn" is also first on the list of Geoffrey's "female relationships" elsewhere in his bio, though I suppose how much of a "relationship" they had is left vague. Honestly, at this point the fact that Ken didn't explicitly confirm that Geoffrey took the underage Sally's virginity in the book comes off as a display of restraint. The bar couldn't be any lower, I know.

Remington

His bio is, frankly, shockingly long for such a minor character, though I guess he does get a large portion of the word salad dialogue in "The Storm." There's a lot of stuff here about how the identities of his biological parents are shrouded in mystery, a plot point that fans have long speculated Ken just straight up forgot about in his time at Archie. (Ian confirmed that Kragok from the Dark Legion was Remington's dad, though, so this isn't really much of a mystery.)

Lien-Da

She gets a bio even though she's not present in the two new stories, just so we get to look at her awful new design and compare it to how Steven Butler drew her earlier in the book:

Commander Taelor

We get to see two drawings of him with the same exact Ernie Hudson face side by side! That's fun.

Julie-Su

She gets a list of "known friends," but the only character listed is Knuckles' mom. Poor Julie-Su.

Also, Ken feels the need to reiterate that Knuckles and Julie-Su are still distant cousins. He made a whole new timeline where he can change whatever details he wants, but THAT had to remain canon. Thanks, Ken.

And then after the data files we get the special thanks page, listing everyone who preordered the book and/or bought TLSC merch from Ken.

With my name on the list. Because I had to buy a copy to cover it for the blog.

My name is on the very next page right after the breastfeeding panel in Julie-Su's data file.

Yep. He got me.

Is it at least a well put together book? Like, in terms of manufacturing quality?

Its physical quality is... fine. It's a nice, sturdy hardcover. The print quality seems fine, though mine does have a bit of smudging from some sort of printing error on one page. The pages don't seem like they'll fall out on me. The image quality is crisp. The colors are vibrant. This is a low bar, but this is one of the few places where I'm able to give this book anything resembling praise.

The formatting and graphic design work, on the other hand...

(I didn't crumple those page corners, it came like that.)

For one, the placement and sizes of the M25YL pages is inconsistent, largely due to the fact that the book doesn't actually match the proportions of a comic. A lot of pages aren't properly centered vertically. Some pages go all the way up to the top edge of the paper, while others leave a visible gap of about half a centimeter. Every page has a 1cm gap to its left and right, which is sometimes filled in with a solid color or gradient that doesn't quite match the page it's surrounding. I have to assume Ken didn't have any sort of source files or original artwork to work off of, as those ideally would've had more generous bleed to account for slight shifts in printing. It kind of seems like he just got the highest resolution versions he could find of the digital releases online and printed those. The colors are a dead ringer for the digital versions, which have always looked slightly more saturated and pastel than they did in print.

I can't say this bodes well for his further plans for Archie Sonic reprints - sorry, Mobian Line reprints. If they ever come out, please, for the love of god, do not buy those. I don't care how much you love Archie Sonic, they aren't going to be good reprints. For comparison, IDW's similarly priced hardcover Sonic collections have none of these formatting problems, because they're made by people who know what they're doing with access to the actual source files.

The book also has its fair share of text-focused pages, split between the data files and messages directly from Ken about the history of his career and this project, and these are formatted in the most amateurish way possible. Just massive walls of Arial text over either plain white backgrounds, simple gradients, or faded photos. I've seen school yearbooks with better graphic design. Even ignoring my subjective feelings about the art and stories within, this book does not feel like it's worth $36 USD.

It's frankly shocking how shabby he let this thing look considering it's supposed to be his baby. And doesn't that really sum it all up?

Closing thoughts

Obviously, I did not expect this to be any good. But I'm still left kind of dumbfounded by it.

I think what really strikes me about it is that Ken had a blank check to do whatever he wanted here. He got an opportunity many writers would kill for when he gained complete ownership of his most famous work. He's free from the limitations of a monthly licensed comic book for children, free to make whatever creative decisions he wants without editors or other writers or Sega to worry about, free to completely reinvent the series to his heart's content and finally tell the story of his dreams. And with that opportunity and 13 years of his time, he made... this. A direct continuation of "Mobius: 25 Years Later" that barely changes anything about the characters or world beyond their awful new designs, even though much of the word count is spent rambling about how the timeline has changed. A story that makes zero concessions for new readers, or even returning readers who don't already have the last decade's worth of Ken's tweets explaining his creative decisions burned into their memory. 30 pages where nothing really happens and the story barely moves forward an inch despite the decades-long wait - but maybe something will happen if you buy the next book!

Who is this for? Maybe this really is a project for no one but Ken. Maybe he just really, really wants to finish the story he started, a story that's personal to him due to the family history it evokes, and the number of people who enjoy it or buy it beyond that is irrelevant. I think that many of the best artists are incredibly self-indulgent ones working with that exact mindset, artists whose enthusiasm for their own work jumps off the page or screen. So, if that's the case, then why the fuck isn't he telling the damn story? What's stopping him? Why is he still spinning his wheels? Where is that passion for his own work? Because it sure as hell isn't there on the page. There's a huge part of me that really wishes I could say "Man, what a weirdo, but you do you, Ken. You tell your weird little story." But there's barely any story here. It's like he loves styling himself as a storyteller, but he's terrified of finally having to actually tell a story after all this time. He's still stuck in the exact same mode of writing he was in almost 30 years ago when he was doing 6-page backup stories about Knuckles, just killing time and stringing readers along until he's eventually able to truly realize his vision. If not now, then when, Ken?

Even the back cover blurb is mostly just a dry recap of the history of this thing. It was a Sonic comic, the original arc was published in these issues, it went unfinished, Ken left Archie, the lawsuits happened, now he's continuing the story. There's nothing about why anyone should give a shit about this as its own story, even though Ken has spent years trying in vain to convince people TLSC is its own beast that shouldn't be judged as a Sonic story. I think deep down he knows that there's no pitch for this beyond the novelty of it originating from Sonic. And that's why, despite declaring that he'd leave the site, he's still on Twitter riling up Sonic fans. It's the only attention he gets at this point.

Maybe this is too harsh when those 30 pages of new comics are just intended as a preview for the "real" book. But the elephant in the room is that we have no idea if that "real" book will ever actually come out, let alone the entire series of seven graphic novels that will supposedly complete this saga.

Ken is undeniably a complete jackass and all around unpleasant, vindictive person who's rightly become an industry pariah. He's a self-proclaimed paragon of progressive values who'll send Comicsgaters after his successors for the crime of not worshiping the ground he walks on, and then turn around and announce he's going to reprint their work without even consulting them. He's a sore winner who already won his copyright battle on a level most comic writers would never dare to dream of, and yet still won't truly be satisfied until he sees an entire major comic publisher go out of business, putting god knows how many people out of work, because he thinks this would get him back the license to a video game franchise he doesn't even like.

But I still have to pity him.

As an artist, the trajectory of his life is my nightmare. I think all of us fear dying before we can tell all the stories we want to tell. There's simply never enough time to do everything. And here's Ken in his 60s, talking about how he's still planning on making his magnum opus all by himself out of stubbornness and pride, despite demonstrably proving he can't handle the workload, and also talking about how if he dies before the project can be finished he'll have to pass the torch on to his kids and get them to finish it for him. It's so grim. Even just typing that sends a shiver down my spine. It took nine years of his limited time on Earth to finish and release an 11-page comic about Geoffrey St. John sitting backwards in a chair.

This is a purgatory of his own creation. And yet... I'm not sure he's ever been prouder. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.

I guess if I want people to take anything away from this review, it's this:

Lesson one: If you're an artist or writer of some kind, or an aspiring creator, don't wait around. No one else is going to tell your story for you. Start writing that novel. Start drawing that webcomic. Start making that game. If Penders can put out this damn book that no one asked for after 13 years of work, then proudly proclaim that he's still going to make six or seven more books and also reprint hundreds of comics he doesn't have all of the rights to, then show up to cons with that foul Lara-Su Chronicles: Shattered Tomorrows banner and sit in front of it beaming with pride, fully aware of his critics but saying "fuck 'em, I know I'm hot shit," then you can do fucking anything. Tell the weird, sincere, cringe story of your dreams. If Ken Penders doesn't have imposter syndrome, then nobody should.

And lesson two: Don't buy Ken's books.

[incorrectbatfam]

Does the Batmobile ever get ticketed or does the GCPD just ignore it

Bruce: *puts a box on the table*

Bruce: Gather around, everyone. It's time for our monthly ticket review.

Bruce: First up, Steph. Can you explain what happened last Friday?

[earlier]

Steph: *looking for parking in a full lot*

Steph: Screw it, I'm going around back.

Steph: *parks in front of a fire exit*

[present]

Steph: I just needed to use the bathroom.

Bruce: And in those three minutes, the Joker released a giant water balloon forcing everyone to evacuate through one less exit.

Steph: It said "fire exit." That technically wasn't a fire.

Bruce: Well, the penalty is $100 plus the towing cost. I can pay it off but you have to help Alfred in the kitchen for a month.

Steph: Yeah, that's fair.

Bruce: Next up... Cass and Barbara? Color me surprised.

Barbara: Oh yeah, I had to remotely pilot the Batmobile the other day because Cass needed a getaway.

Bruce: Then why am I being charged $250?

[earlier]

Cass: *fighting a gang*

Barbara: Orphan, ETA thirty seconds. Prepare for extraction.

Cass: *knocks out the last henchman and runs to the car*

Comm. Gordon: *writing a ticket*

Cass: ?

Comm. Gordon: You're in a disabled parking spot without a permit.

[present]

Barbara: Well I am disabled.

Bruce: Understandable. I'll let it slide since it's the first time. Just file the paperwork for a permit.

Bruce: Dick, you went thirty-five over the speed limit when you weren't pursuing a suspect. Explain.

[earlier]

Wally: Race you to Keystone?

Dick: *revs the engine*

[present]

Bruce: You're better than this. I'm disappointed. Next up: Tim. Driving without a license plate. What happened there?

[earlier]

Tim: I wasn't supposed to take the Batmobile since Bruce benched me for my wrist, but my other ride is in the shop.

Kon: What about cameras? Can't your dad tap into the city's surveillance system?

Bart: Traffic cameras read license plates, so if we take them off, no one will recognize us.

Kon: Now that's an idea.

[present]

Tim: That's on me. I shouldn't have listened to them.

Bruce: Put them back on, plus you're benched for another week. Damian, on to you.

Damian: What on Earth could I have done? I followed the speed limit, parked in the correct spots, and never so much as changed lanes on an empty road without signalling.

[earlier]

Damian, a middle schooler: *driving*

[present]

Damian: Tt.

Bruce: Don't do it again. Duke...

Duke: *cringes and remembers what he did*

[earlier]

Duke: *hooks the Batmobile to a freezer trailer*

Duke: *starts driving around with a megaphone*

Duke: Ice cream! Get your ice cream!

[present]

Bruce: Fantastic job. No complaints.

Jason, muttering: Teacher's pet.

Bruce: And finally, Jason.

Bruce: *empties the rest of the box*

[dcxdpdabbles]

Bruce: Attention, please. I understand a majority of you had plans this weekend. I want to be considerate of your time, so I'll make this brief. Lex Luther has hired a boy to seduce Wayne Enterprise secrets out of Tim. I need you to be weary at the gala. Dismiss.

Tim: Hold on hold on. I'm going to need a LOT more information than just that.

Bruce: I said dismissed Tim. Your siblings have plans.

Dick: *Raises a hand*

Bruce: Yes?

Dick: I can tell this approach is from the parenting books Uncle Clark got you, which is great. Thank you for trying, but we really need more details B. You can be considerate of our time by properly using it.

Bruce: hmmmm. Alright, if everyone feels this way. I suppose I can explain

Batkids: *Nodding*

Bruce clicking on the computer to show a picture: This is Daniel Fenton. His family used to own Fenton Works until the unfortunate loss of Mrs. Madeline Fenton in a car accident. Mr. Jack Fenton was convinced a ghost killed his wife. He was arrested after he crossed state borders chasing it and went on a rampage in downtown Gotham. He was deemed mad with grief and has been in Arkham for the last four years. Neither Jasmine nor Daniel were able to keep the family business afloat and were eventually bought out by Luthor.

Steph: I remember Mr. Fenton. He made that weird ray that was just throwing green goo on people. Besides scarying a few civilians, he didn't do anything bad. No one was harmed.

Bruce: That was the Fenton children argument as well. They were unable to get Mr. Fenton out of Arkham and into a different institution. I fear corruption is at play. During his stay in Arkham Mr.Fenton, has continued to create inventions, though no patent has been filed. All funds from said inventions are being made by local Mafia families instead.

Jason: Those thieves are preying on a grieving man. Rumors has it, Mr. Fenton isn't even aware his wife is dead. His mind blocked it, but he's slowly deteriorating. They're trying to squeeze out every drop of cash they can from him before his mind is completely gone.

Bruce: Exactly, and his children know it. Recently, Clark overheard Luthor offer Daniel a deal. He steals Wayne Enterprise secrets from Tim - probably got the idea after reading the article of Tim coming out, no doubt - and Luthor pulls enough strings to get Mr. Fenton out.

Tim: That's horrible. Is there any way we can help the Fentons instead? Move Mr. Fenton to a different place?

Bruce: I'm working it, but I believe Luthor is blocking my attempts. He did the same to Miss Fenton's college and loan applications. The pair are in a finical crisis that does not seem to get better no matter what they do. Luthor has employed similar tactics before.

Damian: Thus trapping the Fenton siblings in a box, unable to defy Luthor. They may be so desperate they would agree to anything after this many hardships.

Bruce: Exactly.

Tim: Alright I'll sleep with him

Cass: Literally, no one said you needed to sleep with him.

Tim: It's will be tough but I'll take one for the team.

Duke: Tim, that's not what B is saying at all.

Bruce: Wait, wait. I think Tim wants to sleep with Daniel Fenton. Hold on, let me consult the experts *opens parenting book*

Bruce: This isn't covered in the book. I don't know what to do.

Dick: I do. Tim, you're not sleeping with Daniel Fenton, but you are going to pretend his seduction is working. We're going to stop Luthor and the Mafia families controlling Arkham. We need to buy time to do that.

Tim: Kisses and over clothes stuff only. Got it.

Damian: Life has been hard for you since Dowd left you, hasn't it Drake?