#i don't think we as a community/fandom talk enough abt this
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the survivor's guilt. @warnermeadowsgirl @voidsteffy @ahamasmiyodhah @vijayasena
#i don't think we as a community/fandom talk enough abt this#the utter survivor's guilt that crushes devasena#especially post the conclusion#like her love is dead yet here she is living with her son#the son her husband loved so much yet never got to see#yeah i am not okay#amrendra bahubali#devasena#amarena#prabhas#anushka shetty#bahubali#bahubali the conclusion#my edits**
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shocking news, The aroallo guy is here to talk abt being aroallo. everybody gasp
anyways. i wanted to explain why aroallos are so "sensitive" about our identity and place in the aspec community.
the aspec community has a sex negativity problem. this is obvious. the amount of "sex bad" takes that are boldly labelled "aspec experiences" instead of what they actually are (puritan culture) is enough to make anyone who actually experiences sexual attraction feel more than unwelcome in the aspec community.
aside from that, there's also the erasure. aromanticism is always treated as a subcategory of asexuality. there's this constant underline to every mainstream-ish discussion of aromanticism that basically comes down to the inherently aroallophobic idea that "not all aces are aro, but all aros are ace". it's not that anyone says this out loud; it's that everyone seems to imply it subtly, everyone seems to believe it without even thinking twice about it.
aside from that, there's the lack of representation. name an aromantic character. chances are, you've just named an aroace character. and even in the very very rare case of a character being canonically aromantic but not canonically asexual (e.g. carpenter from the silt verses), the fandom still treats them being asexual as canon. fandom treats aromanticism as something that must only exist within asexuality, not as its own separate identity.
our fellow aspecs spew aroallophobia at us in a misguided attempt at humor (i've gotten several asks from aroaces telling me i "should" be aroace), our posts are mistagged as asexual when we make it extremely clear they're just about being aromantic (and when we point out that we don't like that, we get called control freaks. true story), the aromantic tag is filled with posts just about asexuality, allos either call us emotional abusers and imply we objectify people by simply experiencing sexual attraction, or imply that we're just afraid of attachment and that they can "fix" us.
the absolutely jarring truth of being an aroallo on tumblr dot com is making a post about being aroallo and immediately getting ten anons telling me i'm "no better than a straight man", "an aroace in denial", "an emotionally abusive predator", or just a slut, while at the same time someone comments on my post "you're making up an issue that doesn't exist" "why are you so mad about this" "you wanna be a victim so bad"
whew. okii that's all. hope that clears stuff up for non-aroallos out there /gen
what they said
#aromantic#aro#official aro post#official aromantic post#mod cale#queuepid was wrong#ask#thermodynamic-comedian
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landoscar fic recommendation
this wld be a full ao3 fic recos :D anw message me if u want your fic to be removed here thnx
that one from work can come over on monday night by higgsbosonblues
tags: Alternate Universe - No Girlfriends/No Wives, Slow Burn, Canon Compliant, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Miscommunication, Coming Out
mclaren 2023 season canon compliant ; i really really love the getting to know part even though you know each other all through out the years hahaha this fic gives me the "all along there was some invisible string tying you to me?" :DD this was such a fan read to me as a new landoscar shipper that time <33
purring in my lap ('cause he loves me) by nyoomfruits
tags: cat!oscar, as in he shapeshifts into a cat lmao, Crack Treated Seriously, Mutual Pining, Idiots in Love, Miscommunication
oscat !! OSCAT !! OSCAT !! lando's "Over me? When the fuck were you even under me?" he's so so so funny and oblivious lmao and them being each other's comfort after a bad race :(( this was so adorable
#814 | Communication? The Kardigans | Long Gone | 4:18 by Anonymous
tags: Social Media, Implied/Referenced Sex, Lando I Don't Drink Norris Can't Hold His Alcohol Smh, Layout Is Entirely Social Media, Getting Together
i love LOVE social media format aus!!! so soo refreshing and creative the use of spotify playlist was GOLD and idk if it's a reference of gen z's and their spotify playlist for every situation but but!!!! i get it!! the name changes in every convo hahahaha they r so chaotic but at the same time so landoscar
from the start by tiredwishes
tags: modern setting, fluff, love confessions, getting together
this had me hooked so easily??? like i was just scrolling through the landoscar tag then i refreshed the page boom there's a new fic posted :DD the awkwardness, the ODDS!!!!!! i love how it has the dynamics of canon!landoscar :>> of them having the same people around them then boom they collided and the ending was perfect aaaaaa <33
for keeps by ipleadbritney
tags: spy au, fluff, light...angst? happy ending
read this after death and other lies bcos i can't move on LMAO took me a while to digest and it was honestly so good!! the humor was fantastic I DID NOT EXPECT EVERYTHING ABT LANDO landoscar
no proof, not much (but you saw enough) by ipleadbritney
tags: magical realism, pre-relationship, qatar GP '23
LOL THIS WAS SO FUN TO READ ??? lando's dramatic ass and him comparing themselves to BROCEDES ++ i like that it's magical realism but at the same time canon hehe :DD "He spent the majority of his junior years chasing after Lando Norris, a dream blisteringly quick and blinding in its brilliance." this line reminds me of, "Loving you is synonymous to breathing" :)
Death and Other Lies by finifugue
tags: spies & secret agents, mature, angst, hurt, comfort, happy ending
i love LOVE the world-building & everything!! prolly in my top 3 landoscar fics <33 the lando-charles siblings relationship had me SOBBING ;-;; “The things that we have lost were wonderful when we had them, do you not think? And that means they are not properly gone. And even if they are gone forever, that means that I can spend more time being sad in here, with you. And that is nice in its own way. We have not had a reason to go here for a long time, and it is more cramped than it was, but it is still good.” :) the twists, the turns, everything !!!!!! my friends were probably annoyed at me because i talked abt this fic ALOT lol i usually don't like spy aus bcos i don't like actions that much lmao but this??? THIS IS A MASTERPIECE sorry i cannot put how much i love this fic into words hashjdhasdjhsa BUT YOU GUYS SHLD READ THIS!!!!
scenes from a social media admin by ipleadbritney tags: social media admin!lando, driver!oscar, social media au, getting together
ipleadbritney your existence in this fandom is EVERYTHING !!!! lando's list of things.... lando's list of things he finds hot :>> this fic made me smile the whole day, hehehe :))
sink your teeth into me by nyoomfruits tags: vampire!oscar, werewolf!lando, soulmates, racing drivers
LANDO was so fcking oblivious *face palms* the travel coffin was my fave part hehe ok oscar is so vampire coded dhsjadhajshdas “Lando’s own driver’s room is right across the hall, stocked with his own hoodies and sweatpants, but those don’t smell like lemon and home, so he wisely keeps quiet and accepts the ones Oscar gives him.” :)) :)) I LOVE THEM maxiel tolerating lando's dumb ass HWJHAJS SO ENTERTAINING
note: will be updated !!!!!
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So. Here's the Thing. The drama SEVERELY changed parts of the MDZS novel. Enough that Wei Wuxian's character AND as a result (off the top of my head), Jin Guangyao, Madam Yu, Jiang Cheng and even Su She's character. This is going to be a whole thesis so here we go.
Let's start with one of the largest topics of debate in the fandom, Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian, and specifically Wei Wuxian's position in the Jiang Clan and the heat about Jiang Cheng's actions. In the novel, Yu Furen doesn't like him for her husband's preference of Wei Wuxian over Jiang Cheng (this is the same in the drama) and his supposed previous love interest, Wei Wuxian's mother (debated, ambiguous). Added to this is Wei Wuxian's ambiguous position in the clan. Jiang Fengmian never specifies what his rank/position is (as other people have pointed out) and as a result, all the Jiang Clan members kind of...have their own relationship w/ him courtesy of their own projections. For example, Yanli's relationship with Wei Wuxian is the simplest, mostly because she's the daughter, not a strong cultivator and is destined to eventually leave the Jiang Clan. She chooses him as her brother. For everybody else? It's a lot more complicated. Yu Furen (understandably if not justifiably) does not want to treat Wei Wuxian as her own son (aforementioned reasons). She sees him as a threat to her son's right of inheritance and also, doesn't trust the origin of his birth. This is definitely Jiang Fengmian's fault since he took in his servant's son but also not exactly since it's complicated by their close friendship and his unreciprocated feelings for Cangse Sanren. Consequently, Yu Ziyuan projects her insecurities not only on Wei Wuxian but also Jiang Cheng (we know this) and constantly compares the two of them. She wants her son to be better.
Jiang Cheng is a product of his parents and sister's relationship w/ Wei Wuxian but what I think the drama changes is the fact that Jiang Cheng cares for Wei Wuxian as a *martial brother* and a future right hand man. He gets the brother stuff because his sister has loved Wei Wuxian as her didi, he gets the firm ideas of Wei Wuxian's future position in the Jiang Clan from his mother (and also the lack of denial from Jiang Fengmian himself). He doesn't see Wei Wuxian as a brother *only*. Instead, he partially projects duty and destiny onto him because of how they were raised. This is why I don't think it was wrong of him to refuse to take in the Wen Remnants. He had a duty to the Jiang Clan that he chose to prioritize to keep himself out of the political tension that Wei Wuxian was in the center of. He didn't see it as disowning a brother but as a strategic withdrawal from the situation for his sect. Say what you will about him but I don't believe that he's unjustified in wanting to ensure the safety of his Sect (especially as clan leader). Growing up, Jiang Cheng did get a lot of conflicting opinions on his own worth. He fell short in almost all his relationships because he would approach Wei Wuxian w/ the anger and competitiveness his mother expected of him only to disappoint his sister who expected them to be siblings in the truest sense of the word. He disappointed his mother because he *did* see Wei Wuxian as more than just his fellow disciple, not just a future servant. He didn't disappoint his father but his father never made his affection for Jiang Cheng clear and this lack of communication led him to draw his own conclusions on Jiang Fengmian's preferences.
My issue with the drama is that much of this is not clearly defined or explained. He is villainized for his eventual estrangement with Wei Wuxian because we're operating from the assumption that his feelings for Wei Wuxian *are* of the sibling kind and not the messy duty vs martial brother type. His position is understandable after reading more of the novel. Plus all the changes about the siege led by him (which I'll talk abt) and Nightless City and the Qiongqi Pathway Ambush and him rejecting the Wen Remnants. And the ending at Guanyin Temple makes sense. Wei Wuxian is released from his commitments to the Jiang Clan and that is the kindest thing Jiang Cheng could do for him (again, others have pointed this out, I'm simply reiterating it). Because Wei Wuxian *does* care for Jiang Cheng as a brother but his feelings for him are also complicated by duty and obligation to the Jiang Clan and dealing w/ the complicated myriad of expectations from the Jiang family. That and less of him being a brother is what leads Jiang Cheng to think Wei Wuxian betrayed him. It's like he betrayed his duty to the Jiang Clan and not just their brotherly commitments.
Now coming to the second point, it's the drama's portrayal of Wei Wuxian as a martyr. And he can be but he's so much more complex than that. To start with, I believe his character would not have endeared himself to me as much if I hadn't started with the drama but now, I enjoy the complexity of the novel Wei Wuxian more. For example, novel villains Su She and Jin Guangyao are a lot more complex than portrayed in the drama. Because the drama kind of made them scapegoats (ironic as they portray Wei Wuxian that way) for Wei Wuxian's continued innocence. The Ambush at the Qiongqi Path is so much more complex than in the drama. Jin Guangyao *does* set it up and Su She curses Jin Zixun out of spite and Wei Wuxian *is* wrongfully cornered. But he also loses control of Wen Ning and accidentally kills Jin Zixuan all because he loses control of his emotions. I won't comment on whether this is right or wrong because Wei Wuxian was cornered. He was fighting his way out of an ambush. He made mistakes like escalating the situation by antagonizing Jin Zixun, not believing Jin Zixuan wanted to help him, and not calling off Wen Ning when asked to by Jin Zixuan (because he believed he'd be shot by the archers) and accusing Jin Zixuan of working w/ Jin Zixun to ambush him. By taking away these mistakes in the drama, it takes away the complexity of the situation and what the choices say about him. Jin Guangyao did not intend for Jin Zixuan and Wei Wuxian's confrontation to end the way it did. He wanted to put Jin Zixuan and Jin Zixun against each other in the novel (correct me if I'm wrong tho). He isn't innocent of course but his motivations make more sense than him just killing Wei Wuxian on behalf of his father with no deeper mechanations at play.
Secondly, the battle at the Nightless City. In the drama (and possibly in the novel but this isn't confirmed) he commits suicide but the timeline is important. He does lose control of his puppets in Nightless City and making Jin Guangyao the scapegoat for his loss of control *again* simplifies his character as someone that can do no wrong and is hopelessly plotted against by the rest of the world. The puppet that hurts Yanli (not fatally) is one that Wei Wuxian has lost control of and not one that's been controlled by Guangyao or Xue Yang or Su She. She sacrifices herself to save him and he *then* slaughters the rest. After he finds that Wen Ning and Wen Qing have died and they plan on leading a siege on the rest of the Wens, he raises the corpses and loses control and accidentally hurts Yanli who asks him to stop. He tries, she dies, and then he slaughters a bunch of people.
And in the novel, there are a few months between the Nightless City Massacre and his death. He defends the Wens from the siege led by Jiang Cheng (and *this* is the siege that he leads which makes MUCH more sense than the siege he supposedly led in Nightless City as shown in the drama) and when they die and he realizes he's going to lose, he kills himself (probably out of guilt?).
The implications of this are major. His sister's death doesn't push him into suicide, it pushes him into war (and Wen Qing and Wen Ning's death). It's the wtf this is a lost cause I'm fucked and everyone I wanted to protect is dead that eventually pushes him into death.
Looking at this from Jiang Cheng's perspective things make a lot more sense. He is under the (almost rightful?) assumption that Wei Wuxian lost control and killed Jin Zixuan (also Jin Zixun but lol fuck that guy). He is also not clear on the details of the ambush and while we don't know this, is given the same explanation for the ambush as everyone else. That Wei Wuxian cursed Jin Zixun. And Wei Wuxian does say that if he killed Jin Zixun he'd do it a thousand times better (worse). Following this, Jiang Cheng's sister is hurt and while her actual death is a choice that she makes, he blames Wei Wuxian for it.
I won't deny that Jiang Cheng is morally ambiguous but so is Wei Wuxian and so is Jin Guangyao and Su She. The drama is almost a softer, nicer version of the novel where the protagonist is the hero and not just the person whose perspective we're getting. But in doing so, Su She, Jin Guangyao and Jiang Cheng's character are changed to fit the narrative.
What the drama also doesn't get across is that demonic cultivation isn't a good idea!!! Lan Qiren, as much as I dislike him for his rules or whatever, did have a point. It goes against the natural order of things, there's a reason why demonic cultivation should not be taught and why Wei Wuxian never took in disciples. It would result in cultivators like Xue Yang. When drama says that Jiang Cheng was hunting and killing off demonic cultivators because he hated Wei Wuxian, it takes away from the fact that demonic cultivation does actually harm the body and soul! It does in fact require human sacrifices! Just because Wei Wuxian didn't use any does not mean that the others won't! Jiang Cheng is sure to have had a personal motivation but fanon misses that those accounts have been of the crowd and the cultivation world, not from Jiang Cheng directly. His killing of the demonic cultivators was likely not as simple as fuck that guy, I hate everyone like him.
Finally, Yanli. Surprised? I have a lot of thoughts on her though so I'm gonna have to keep going. She's at the centre of the storm and also severely sidelined. She's a motif and she's a character fighting to make choices that the world does not allow women and especially women that aren't cultivators. I think thinking of the story from *her* perspective (novel or canon) makes my appreciation for her even deeper. She is, despite Wei Wuxian's perception of her, a flawed character. But she's flawed in the same way everyone else is. She grows up in a volatile family and her mother doesn't share her sentiments but she chooses to love Wei Wuxian as a brother. Although she means well, this brings about a conflict of interest for Jiang Cheng. She's perceived as this all forgiving character by Wei Wuxian and it makes sense, we're looking at his POV *but* it takes away from the fact that she consciously chooses to be that way. I think her character brings about some very interesting ideas in society about womanhood and specifically motherhood. Her role in Wei Wuxian's life is more motherly than it is sisterly and thus, her sacrifices are almost expected. What comes to mind is that her feelings on things really aren't considered. Remember when Jiang Cheng lost his golden core? Wei Wuxian comes in and he sits across from her and he tells her that this is all his fault. She's dealing w/ the loss of her parents, her brother's sudden injury and her worry over Wei Wuxian. But she's gotta tell him gently that no, that's not true. In reality, this isn't ABOUT Wei wuxian. His continued insistence that things are his fault does bring about a degree of self centeredness because it takes away from where his attention should be. After he kills her husband, his focus is on his own guilt over his actions but less on her pain (I'm not condemning him, I'm just pointing it out). Being a martyr (as depicted in the drama not the novel as much) is incredibly selfless but also incredibly selfish. When the audience doesn't see this, Jiang Yanli's actions almost seem expected. Of course she's gotta see him for the person that he is and know that he didn't mean it etc. But these expectations take away from the very real choices she makes to continue to forgive and love and forgive. She does this with Jin Zixuan and although from Wei Wuxian's perspective, he sees it as she's too nice and kind and forgiving, it takes away from the fact that she *CHOOSES* to forgive him and it doesn't just happen as a part of her character profile. Being kind is a choice, not a personality trait. Being nice and agreeable and open etc can be personality. but altruism? That shit is where the credit is due.
The narrative does minimize her (I'm not sure if this is intentional) by making her an accessory to Wei Wuxian's development. She's sidelined during important moments like the war, the rebuilding of Lotus Pier, even the times that their parents die. She steps in when Wei Wuxian or Jiang Cheng need help or a guiding hand. She steps away when the story has to focus on other conflict. She could've easily turned against Wei Wuxian for killing her husband but she chooses to see him again and later, die for him. Jiang Cheng uses her in his own way, and so does Wei Wuxian. I do not particularly mean this as a criticism but I think it's worth noting that Jiang Yanli was a traditionally feminine character whose strength was a very conscious choice on her part and is not more or less than if she had chosen to go into war w/ the rest of them. If she didn't hold back on so many things like not protesting her engagement, playing a supporting role and staying in the background for much of the narrative until the death of her husband pushes her into the spotlight, waiting for her brothers to get back from war, waiting for Wei Wuxian to tell her what's wrong when he comes to Lotus Pier and fights w/ Jiang Cheng and seems to, supposedly, not want to be there, the story would've been different. Idk different how but definitely different. She chooses not to take up space and thus, narrative attention. She doesn't push, and she doesn't demand, and she defends quietly. I think that's why traditionally feminine characters are kind of a double edged sword when perceived. Are these qualities inherent? If yes, then they're taken for granted and...minimized. Are they chosen? If yes, then it begs the question of what a traditionally feminine character is at all. Sacrifice, standing back to let other people shine, being quiet and letting other people's actions (even those that you love) control what happens in your life. I cannot imagine that these are traits that someone is simply born with and thus, give Jiang Yanli credit because she chose to be that way!!
Ending this with, I don't believe there's a wrong medium with better or worse portrayals of the characters. I think I like the drama for some of its kinder aspects and the novel for its complexity. I just think it's important to note that Wei Wuxian is more than a martyr, Jiang Cheng more than his brother (he's in his own right a sect leader and plays an important role outside of his relation to Wei Wuxian) and Jiang Yanli more than a mother figure. And we love Lan Wangji ofc, sorry he didn't get a mention. Give more thought to characters like Jin Guangyao and Su She (yes Ik ik) and Xue Yang as portrayed in the novel. There's a theme here of classism that I don't think is appreciated enough.
The very point of this post is not to condemn or acquit any of the characters. It's just to point out how none of them are black and white.
That's it for now and I hope I didn't forget/mistake any of the details in the drama or novel!!
#mo dao zu shi#the untamed#wei wuxian#jiang yanli#jiang cheng#jin guangyao#analysis#novel vs drama#i apologise for the sheer length of this post#i swear it wasn't on purpose
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AiTA for not wanting my friends at my booth anymore?
I (29 F) have been trying to get started as an artist at our local conventions. So I found a few friends willing to booth share so we could split the table cost. I always put the down payment on the table for cons in full.
The first year was really hard. People haven't shown as much interest in my fandom merch as I had thought they would (prints/keychains/etc).
They (25) make bags by hand (non fandom related). They're cute items, but people don't show as much interest in them.
The first year we boothed together they were late to the con, and to when the vendor hall opened, and to when I had set times I needed a break from the booth, and wasn't answering their phone. When they have been on booth duty, they spend all their time on their phone and don't talk to attendees unless people ask them questions.
I had a convo abt how disappointed I was with the lack of communication and them being late months after the con. They said they'd work on it and I tried to make it clear that this was my booth (since it's my money we're gambling with). I didn't mind renting out space on it. I had already promised them they'd have space at the table this year, so I didn't push the issue further, but I made it clear if we were to keep being friends I couldn't be in a position where I relied on them professionally. They said they understood, but we had been drinking when talking abt it.
This year, they were late to set up again. They brought people not involved with the booth to sit with us without asking me. So there was four people and my partner didn't feel comfortable being the fifth even though though my partner was the one that helped with set up the day prior. They were an hr late to dinner plans with us that night with 0 notice for an important phone call (their partner found out abt the DBZ guy dying. That was the importaht call) They didn't show up today until 2 hrs after open today with no notice of what was going on (they're rooming with 2 other people that have my # and were at the booth day 1) supposedly due to a migraine, but I know they drink hard after con closes. They have been there when I needed a break and responded when I asked where they were, they've had matching cosplays with me all con and it's all things I'm into. I can see they genuinely tried compared to last year.
Then my partner thought they heard them complaining about me while I was on lunch break today. (I only got food for my family/SO during the 2 hrs their half of the booth people was MIA. I assumed they were getting their own food in that time. Since yesterday they had food before showing up and didn't want lunch). And I had included them in my paid cosplay shoot without asking for them to chip in.
I spent way more money on the table this year literally the day we drove up to the con (long story, but point is I locked in the space, they weren't involved in getting table space this year) It's turned out better than before against all odds. I broke even day 2 not including their sales.
Then they were talking abt how next year they want more table space to take commissions and bring more stuff and be "more involved" with the table. I don't want that. It's like they don't remember agreeing it was my table at the end of last year.
I'm known for being flat/blunt when I'm upset. And at this point it's gone passed inexpeirience to just not thinking abt this as work.
Last year we agreed they'd give me $50 or what sales they made and this year it looks like they won't sell enough to make it to the $50. If I don't take their cut, I know my SO will be frustrated with me for being a push over and them for not following through on our agreement.
Idk how to firmly establish the boundary that it's my table and I don't want them having any more space/control over it without them saying I'm the asshole. I think it would be shitty to do that after demanding all their sales, but idk when to bring it up. It's also their birthday week this week.
I don't mind renting space, but at this point they don't understand that's what they are doing and I'm kind of done. This is our 2nd year doing this convention together, but my 4th table. My partner's furious with them abt the whole thing. I just want the freedom of making choices with my booth without being disappointed by people who say they care about it, then act like working the booth isn't a job.
AITA? Is there a way to not have them less involved with the booth next year without coming off as an asshole?
What are these acronyms?
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3 bc we are Choosing Violence today
well.
give me a number and i'm gonna say some real shit rn.
3. screenshot of an awful take or a description of the worst thing you've seen opinion-wise. [my tags say no hate is meant, btw.] [but also this is mild bro.]
i could say a lot of things! i could talk abt someone who sent me an ask saying that uksies "completely ruined the sprace dynamic" (racist and sexist, made a post abt it). i could talk abt a post that had said nothing had changed or was special abt uk's something to believe in even tho jack was entirely black and said "i know girls like you don't end up with guys like me” (made a post abt it) i could talk abt every post from the dawn of time about sunshine boy crutchie and the absolute damage andrew keenan-bolger accidentally incited with his/bway's take. but i saved two special instances bc someone else also asked for #3. ahe he hem:
there was an issue a while back where there was someone on tumblr saying that they don't headcanon the jacobs to be jewish, or something. in theory that'd be fine, everyone's entitled to their own cultural headcanons, but the jacobs' jewish identity and culture is something this fandom (& i) has been very adamant about and i’m gonna be frank. this was like……. the first if not only diverse headcanon/fact about newsies for like. a long time. and by that i mean popularized- i think latino jack kelly years later became popular but that’s like…. recent, oddly enough.
anyway the jacobs are canonically jewish, according to their names, their parents’ names, and the 1992 novel flat-out saying it. but this person’s reasoning, after a friend of mine cites the book’s statement, is "headcanoning characters with Jewish names as Jewish feels like stereotyping”. (i don’t have the post anymorrrre… might’ve been deleted)
and so like. this person. had to have been trying to cause discourse i’m sorry. what are y. the book is from DAVID’S POV, btw, like. he is saying they r jewish. the point of jack being irish in 92sies is that irish and jewish community tensions were high and so them working together is slay & cool. and since they do have jewish names, what you need to do is respect it, not make attempts to admonish yourself from not wanting to see them that way. what?? what the fuck. so that was a crazy fucking take. this fandom has history, and it’s important. like ur allowed to be new here, of course you are, but when these ppl who’ve been here a long time are trying to HELP YOU understand something and u say that shit. brother god help u lmao
#BTW the sprace and jath posts r under rizz.analysis which is a pinned link on my blog!#this was a moment for a bit iirc#no literal hate to whoever this person was bc idk what was prohibiting them from understanding this at the time (this was a bit ago)#but juuust. they’re jewish. why would u be weird abt that in 2024.#fizz answers#davey jacobs#les jacobs#sarah jacobs#newsies#newsies the musical#newsies 1992#rizz.analysis#thanks el. knew u were gonna pull this
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KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. REPOST, DO NOT REBLOG!
NAME: Navina! However, people call me by different nicknames and alias/es, such as Navi, Nav, menace (/aff), and even by my anon alias, ✨!
PRONOUNS: they/them!
PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: tumblr asks & dms, but if we're friends/mutuals and we can vibe, then discord <3
NAME OF MUSE(s): main muses are albedo, kaedehara kazuha, alice! The rest that arent my mains are on my carrd, which you can check because Im too lazy to list them all out
BEST EXPERIENCE: personally, I think my best has been w/ meeting new people and discovering what they like from our muse dynamics. I absolutely love talking abt how they may act and how, in certain verse/s and plot points, their relationship develops. I have a particular fondness for those who are doomed by narratives to only say "fuck you" and REWRITE the damn thing themselves... or just be tragic for the sake of the majority <3
RP PET PEEVES / DEALBREAKERS:
- no communication. I refuse to tolerate people who can't communicate how they feel with me, especially if I did something they don't like. got an issue? talk to me! I promise you, I will be more supportive and willing than me finding out you talked shit about my style, muses, or me in general.
- acting/proclaiming we're exclusives WITHOUT my prior knowledge NOR consent. I personally am not interested in being exclusive with people unless we're genuinely close friends (and there's chemistry for our muses to the point I can see it), and even then, I would prefer if we talked about it and we're both FINE with the idea. However, if you say that I'm ONLY allowed to speak/interact with your muse and NO ONE ELSE'S? That's a hard block. This is an auto block if we are not mutuals and you proclaim I am exclusive with your muse.
- romanticizing dark themes and/or glorifying it. Enough said. I have some issues that I refuse to talk about and I am also sensitive with certain topics, and I refuse to glorify anything that can be considered dark. I may tackle on it sometimes (be it by muses, myself, etc.), but if you romanticize or glorify themes like sexual assault/harassment, incest, and the sort? Instant deal breaker. "Don't speak to me again" type of deal breaker. Don't test my patience. (bonus is if you try to defend it. You will be blocked the moment you try, so don't bother.)
MUSE PREFERENCES: characters that have genuine potential and dynamic where you can just see how fucked they can be, how you can make each other worse, how they can be each others' star-crossed lovers and forever in tragedy. They can literally be the most normal couple to exist or something, just so as long there's chemistry & where we can channel our inner conflict together for them to conquer! (Bonus points if they're ALSO a doomed by the narrative character. dw bestie, we'll redeem them ourselves...... after they go through hell and back ofc LMAO)
PLOTS OR MEMES: BOTH AND I'LL DIE ON THIS HILL. Listen, plots fit a LOT for me because then, we can plan out how our characters may act + make it easier. It's also long-term for me, esp for ships and muses I'm interested depending on the fandom. Memes, however, are good pick me ups because I will send them en masse. Woe, meme be upon ye, y'know?
LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: Ok, both (for my rp partners), BUT not 1 sentence short. Please add depth. If you need the minimum, 3 to 5 sentences is good! Just go wild! I personally write a lot because ranting abt things have me hyped, so expect like. maybe? 3 paras? probably 4 or 5? Just medium length rlly, but if I am EXTREMELY hyperfixated on a verse/muse/plot/dynamic...... yeah gl LMAOOOOO
BEST TIME TO WRITE: goddamn, it's when my brain can focus. it can be late as fuck and I would be too into writing to sleep, and sometimes, its IN THE MORNING. LIKE. HELLO? so yeah what's time actually. (/silly)
ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S): In my personal opinion? Not really (esp not Albedo lmao??) but. apparently my friends think. that I do?? honestly ask thea and a few of my mutuals, they'll answer this better than I can tbh
TAGGED BY STOLEN FROM: @glacialswordsman & @poswiecenia (lmao hi I live in ur notif walls <3) TAGGING: @vagrantshiraeth ; @amemoire ; @constarellations @lorendiel ; @livingakasha ; @bloodied-bets ; @ anyone else (hi I will live in ur walls soon, move over /j)
#written by navina... ⟡#;; tbh i should've done this prior but my silly self FORGOT and.#;; sighs.#;; its ok its better late than nothing <3#;; anyways if you did this alr then dw abt it. just expect me to casually lurk in ur walls. maybe.#;; i'll pay rent dw
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I have seen a bit of discussion on the stobin codependency/the way fans talk abt their relationship and I wanted to know your opinion. I think you are one of the authors that always manages to write it best bc you show how dangerous it can be, the negative consequences of it and you don't reduce robin's character to steve's extension or their dynamic as the only thing ever.
You don't have to answer but I am curious abt your pov bc I really love the way you write the characters.
aw thank you anon! this is very kind and i will try to come up with a smart and thoughtful answer for you, although truth be told most of my thoughts on stobin are just me rambling in a word doc to myself until i have enough notes for a story lol
i guess the biggest thing for me is that, in fandom spaces (and i suppose in online spaces/younger communities in general maybe) codependency has come to mean a couple different things? there's codependent as in 'codependent besties, bonded pair, do not separate, they're platonic soulmates and their lives have been helplessly intertwined since time began' kind of thing, which is of course fun to see and read and write for characters. but there's also, like, the psychological concept of codependency, which often involves controlling behavior or enabling self-destruction like addiction and stuff (i should put a disclaimer here that i'm not by any means a psychological professional and all of this post is, of course, simply my perspective)
we all like viewing stobin as codependent besties because that's what they are in the show, and honestly who doesn't love a little trauma bonding? but the thing is, the line between codependent besties and actual, unhealthy codependent behavior can be really thin. i think it's interesting to write and read what happens when that line blurs and the dynamic shifts into something unhealthy (like in my celebrity fake dating au, where 'you're the only one who understands me' turns into 'i can't face life without you' turns into a very limited support system and simultaneous destructive spirals). however, i do think that online discussions and perspectives of steve and robin can sort of mimic that blurring of the line in some way, which then leads to fans viewing stobin's dynamic as the only thing ever, like you said. and honestly, if platonic stobin is the most important thing to you and it's all you ever want to write and talk about, then hey, you do you. have fun with it
as for not reducing robin to steve's extension, yeah. i think it's very often a combination of the above and the tendency for male characters get more attention both in canon and in fandom. i also click out of posts/fics/etc that do that. but then, i tend not to read anything that isn't centered on robin, nancy, or ronance in the first place lol. and to be completely fair, you could probably argue that i tend to reduce steve to robin's extension in my writing, because i am simply more interested in robin (and female characters in general), so that's what I end up prioritizing in my fic
#i hope this is at least a somewhat satisfactory answer my friend#asks#anon#feel free to swing by any time i do love rambling discussions about characters and stories and writing y'know?#interestingly i feel like i haven't written like a solid stobin fic in a while#i really did peak at cfdau stobin i think lol#i gotta get back into the lethal company au i like their dynamic in that a lot#or the thriving in the apocalypse shovel talk fic#hmmmm
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Just went on Instagram to look at more DR art (because tumblr won't let me see a lot of DR art for some reason) and saw hinanami discourse out in the wild which made me say, out loud, "oh, are we still doing this 💀"
Like idk if I've just aged out of the fandom (on Instagram) but just seeing that hinanami rant made me realize I've been spoiled by the DR community on Tumblr bc I'll scroll on here for 2 minutes and see a text post that will literally SHIFT my entire view of a character/ship and CHANGE my LIFE in just a small analysis that was probably written by op while they were on the toilet💀
Anyway it made me think of the post about Maki and Chappel Roan that I actually recited by memory out loud to my friend last night [gooning over wlw content together after watching Muriel's Wedding], And also that one post abt Monomi and Monokuma being Junko's satire of her own rivalry with Mukuro, and Junko not liking that her friends don't appreciate her fursona doing stand-up 💀💀 and like compare that to Instagram discourse and it's like "Komahina is stupid bc hinata isn't straight" like 💀
Anyway maybe it was the same on tumblr before [it probably definitely was] but now that I'm older I'm really appreciating mature convos/takes about danganronpa because good fanfiction/fanart/fan interpretations are truly adapting the story+characters in much better ways than the creators could ever imagine circa 2010 [pointy objects] [peaches and cream] [anything w/autistic nagito] [anything w/transmasc hajime]
number one rule of modern fandom experience (at the very least with media that has a propensity to draw Certain Crowds [looking especially hard at danganronpa and p5]) is CURATE YOUR OWN SPACE AND STRAY NO FARTHER ‼️‼️‼️ i personally escaped the early era dr fandom (pre v3 localization/the 2019 Danganronpa Renaissance) but time capsule posts tell me i dodged something of a bullet there ❤️ in that vein 2019/2020/covid era discourse was still crazy insane (<- was a part of it for sure LMFAO) but it had a much different Flavor than it did way back when. and the same is true of present-day: still a little kooky if you search hard enough (insta/tiktok/twitter/tumblr all have their own demons). but at least This go around i have largely avoided that by picking my people that i trust not to be Weird and just living in my own bubble wrt the dr fandom at large. and thats served me very well the past year+ since i got back into dr <3 and i have also seen MANY of those perspective-altering posts in that little curation circle that has deepened and made better my experience THE GOOD IS OUT THERE ‼️‼️‼️
THE JUNKO FURSONA POST ALSO LIVES IN MY BRAIN its so real and just one of many takes i’ve seen fly by in a post and been like This is so real and it’s mine now. many such cases <3 i follow people like that and simply block people expending energy on discourse i DOOOOOONT care about. like simply enjoy kmha (I SURE DO ‼️‼️‼️) if you like it and ignore hnmi/kmnmi if you dont (cant relate I LOVE YOU TOO HINANAMI + KOMANAMI ‼️‼️‼️) and live your life happy not angry ❤️
like re: maki lesbianism (which was written on the toilet no lie) she is The most lesbian of all time i could write 10,000 scholarly articles on her comphet + traumatic past of being made to hurt people keeping her from fully coming to terms with herself as a lesbian and as someone who wants to Protect the people she loves (an integral pillar of butchness!!!!!!!!) and it is so important to me. and MANY people disagree! and i simply just dont worry about it <3 but i DO think about the people that agree (and the people who i Influence to agree…..that makes me so happy to hear you talking about it with people :D) and that makes fandom FUN!!!!! not arguing over word of god or whatever that isn’t going to change anyone’s opinions anyway 😭
there is a LOOOOOT of good discussion and character/scene analysis and genuinely fun unique takes on tumblr (+ im sure other places but i rly only interact with dr on her & Occasionally by liking a twt post on my main) and that’s where i’ve made my niche <3 people having fun with the media they enjoy and trying to salvage its shortcomings and missteps because they love it!!
and putting little old Me up amongst the dr goats (transmasc hajime) (autistic nagito)………..framing this ask tbh the HIGHEST honor 4 me……..thank you my beloved cider as always KISS MWAH MWAH
#ask#bittercideristaken#dr#un ange#i Looooove this stupid shitty series and i love people who love it and i think we should all have fun and kiss and smoke weed instead of#arguing about stuff you can simply filter tag or block over <3#do what you want forever and ever ❤️ thats what im going to keep doing because hey ITS WORKED OUT SO FAR!!!!!!#also re: struggling to find art: i follow character tags and scroll thru the tab every week or so and thats how i find my art/analysis here#mostly <3 and following blogs that post in the tags a lot! i havent needed to traverse insta/twt for art But admittedly i am mostly#obsessed with The danganronpa characters of all time (nagito)(hajime) so there is no shortage of content. gonta however……..💔#rules for danganronpa ONE curate your fandom experience for enjoyment TWO have fun THREE if theres no content MAKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!#<- true of saigoku. and non-killing game development of main v3 squad + kiibo + gonta. and transfem nagito. kmha sdr2 rewrites not so mych#BUT THEY WILL EXIST IN MY VISION BECAUSE I SAY SO ‼️‼️‼️#i luv u writing. hit a really good spot in new pointy objects chapter i am EXCITED TO WRITE!!!!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️
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Okay thanks and sincerely, fuck you (affectionate). I hardly ever get genuinely pained reading something online but congradulations ig. THE ANGST. JUST 🤌🤌🤌
but wait hear me out, what if, ikik crazy, but like it turns out reader was playing the Marc Card™ and "protecting" our beloved' from either the reader themselves, or also maybe more the situation they're in (equivalent to idk, perhaps the extreme and less than uh, pleasant circumstances dear marc, steven and jake have tied to their lives. superhero shit, family trauma, anything) OR they're just as fucked up in the head and emotionally constipated and such, and is under the impression they're, again, saving the guys from "having to deal with" the reader's shit instead of using communication like a sane fucking person in a relationship. But hey, couples goals amarite 🥰
Or both. Both can be good
Happy ending or not (bittersweet too, that counts), I am in no way suggesting this is healthy and reader shouldn't be sorry and recieve forgiveness, or not. especially knowing and reading abt how much it affected the whole system. call this self indulgent af man; and please don't write, respond or keep reading if this makes you uncomfortable in any way
In hindsight, I really should have placed that warning before the ask started truly getting into it. additionally, since I'm especially off with memory today, this is all in reference to your divorce drabble/headcanons btw
Thanks 2(x) for reading this far into my ramblings, and for sharing your bomb ass writing. again, it's hard for me to feel connected with the whole y/n shebang fandoms have going on, and, despite all odds, you pulled it off
Don't know how to end these things so yayy parting thumbs up👍
Divorce Pt. 2
A/n: CRYING, ROLLING ON THE FLOOR, SCREAMING, POUNDING MY FISTS Thank you so much for this!! I am literally so excited about this!! (Also sorry for taking so long to write this, I'm a little behind on requests lol)
((I will make a part three for if reader left to protect themselves from the Moon Knight side of things so this part is if reader left due to person issues so double the content!))
Warnings: yelling, anger, talk of depression, talk of panic attacks, talks of trauma, this ain't gonna be a fun ride
Gn! Reader Masterlist
Steven
Steven is the most calm out of Jake and Marc, but that's more like being the smartest guy on the football team
It's a really low bar to meet
Steven tries to be understanding in every situation he's in, truly
His mindset is 'you never know what someone's going through' and he takes it to heart
But this?
He finds it very hard to be understanding
He doesn't even want you here, but he let you through the front door, so it must mean something right?
After explaining in full enough detail as to why you did what you did, Steven is silent
Eerily silent
It feels like the silence in a horror movie before a monster jumps out
This is the part where I could say 'and one did, Jake starts yelling at you' but that's not what happens
Steven starts yelling at you
He starts yelling at you in a way you've only ever seen Marc or Jake do
And it was never directed at you before
It scares you
Steven is so irate, he doesn't notice you shrinking in on yourself
But if he did, I don't think he'd care
Not anymore
"You led us on, you led me on, for years! You made me think I deserved kindness, happiness, love, just to drop me and make me feel like I was worth nothing! I'm sorry you went through so much and I'm sorry you're still dealing with it, but Gods! That doesn't give you the right to completely toy with us and leave when you feel trapped! You're supposed to talk to us about it! Or at least text me if you didn't want to say anything!"
"We could've worked it out. We could've... We were married. That means you at least cared about us a little, right?"
Steven's anger eventually dies and fades into depression and heartbreak
At this moment he wishes you never showed up, never tried to fix anything
He was content with walking through life, blaming himself and thinking you were an angel that got stuck with an annoying gremlin
Cause how could you do any wrong?
Steven asks you to leave, barely above a whisper
If you don't move, he will
He'll lock himself in his room until you do
You may have thought you were helping, that you were easing his confusion and pain
You were wrong
All you did was set in motion another depressive episode and make Steven feel like the worst husband
He thinks, just for a second, that he must've been so terrible at comforting you and letting you know that he was there for you
And a second is all it takes for Steven to believe it
Marc
He starts laughing
Like, maniacal laughing
"You think you can just walk in here and give me some sorry ass excuse?"
"You married us, knowing you couldn't handle it, you married us! You stood at the alter, said vows you took the time to write, said yes after having the chance of leaving, and waited months after to say you didn't want this anymore?"
"Are you fucking kidding me?!"
Unlike Steven, Marc's rage doesn't settle into depression
It sits and festers until the moment you leave
He doesn't turn violent like Jake, but he looks seconds away from destroying the apartment
Even if you manage to explain further through Marc's yelling, it doesn't register that you were in pain or suffering
It doesn't even register that your slinking away in fear at the growing redness of Marc's face
"Why'd you even come here?! To make shit worse?!"
"Of course not! I thought-"
"You've already practically killed Steven! Did you come back to finish us off?"
"No! I was trying to-"
"I can't believe I trusted you! I-"
Marc cuts himself off, digging his palms into his eyes and sniffling
He's crying
Whether in anger, frustration, sadness, or all three, it doesn't matter
He's breaking down right in front of you and you know he must truly be broken to show such vulnerability in front of someone he hates
He yells at you to leave, to leave and never come back
Don't look at him, don't breathe next to him, don't even think about him
And don't ever, ever, try to call Steven
Marc will not hesitate to visit you in his suit
That's a lie, he'd never do that
Even now, after all the pain you caused him, he could never hurt you
Once you finally leave with Marc in tears, he finally falls to the floor and cries
He cries for hours and hours, unable to move or stop
He yells into his hands in agony and frustration
Why did nothing go right for him?
Was he cursed?
Doomed to never have a happy ending?
Your visit didn't help anyone or anything
You should've stayed home
Jake
Absolutely furious
Nothing can calm him down, Steven and Marc have no chance of forcing him into the head space if they tried (though it's not like they want to)
He doesn't let you in, but he walks around the apartment, yelling at you
No, not yelling
Screaming
He can't step back and think about your explanation, what is means and how it ties into your relationship
Lord help his neighbors because he will definitely throw something
Not at you, never at you
He may think he's a monster, willing to cross almost any line to fulfill his mission, but hurting you is one of the few strict lines he will never cross
He will throw things around you, slamming a lamp into the wall, throwing glass onto the floor
And while he is enraged, he's not blind
He sees his effect on you, how scared you look at him
And he thinks 'finally. finally I see how you really feel about me'
Tears remain in his eyes, not willing to fall and give you the satisfaction
He continues yelling and throwing things, hoping to scare you away
And it works
And when he's finally alone, he dissolves into sobs
He doesn't care who might walk past the open door and see him
He just cries and cries
He can't maintain the energy of being mad as much as he wants to
He may be able to do that in front of Steven and Marc, but the second he saw your face
All he wanted to do was bury his face in your neck and hold you
Apologize for his wrong doings and pray you would at least talk to him
But seeing how Steven and Marc dealt with your absence
And seeing how much you managed to wiggle into his heart before destroying it
He couldn't allow his feelings to control his mind
His top priority has always been, and will continue to be Steven and Marc
And he's willing to sacrifice everything to ensure they're safe
They're happy
And you took away their happiness
You will never be allowed in their apartment again, let alone their hearts
Jake will make sure of it
You will regret visiting
One day, everything is going to come full circle
And Jake isn't afraid of the man he might become to get the closure his brothers deserve
(beta reader note : ouchie two electric boogaloo.)
#starlight writes#marc spector x reader#marc spector#marc spector x gn!reader#steven grant x gn!reader#steven grant#steven grant x reader#jake lockley x gn!reader#jake lockley x reader#jake lockley#moon knight system#moon knight#marvel#angst
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Ye ha Idk if can talk abt it to my friends, explaining mephiles' age makes it sound really weird tbf (still dont properly understand it but I think it's fine? Shipping someone who's immortal or smth weird but has only been their own being for 10 years Is a weird thing to explain) and they usually dont allow proper explanations, ur blogs relaxed and calm.
ok im on hold with planned parenthood right now so i can answer this on my phone
honestly like... in 90% of franchises i would say to keep the ages in mind, but the Sonic franchise is kind of unique in how mind-bogglingly inconsistent it is? the numbers given to each character have been really inconsistent and all over the place — and also seem to only be present in the West, from my understanding? i could be wrong about that part, so take it with a grain of salt. but yeah, i sincerely do not care about the 'canon ages' the characters used to have because SEGA clearly... doesn't?
i was aware of Sonic for like eight years before i got really into the fandom, and i had no idea any of these characters had ages until literally last year. i have always interpreted Sonic and Shadow as early to mid 20s, and Blaze and Amy as like. 19, Tails as 12, etc. Silver is the only character i really do actually interpret as his 'canon age' because he is written as younger to me. these things haven't really changed for me because it's just not at odds with the canon we see in the games or the comics.
the way i see it, SEGA has never cared about the characters acting as the arbitrary ages they have given them so like... why should i? especially since they don't tell their own writers how old they should act. and the fact that even SEGA quietly decanonized the ages is, to me, evidence that they'd rather leave it up to interpretation.
i think some parts of this fandom have gotten so hung up on what is 'really canon' that they don't leave room for fanon interpretations. they seem to care more about being a fan the "right way" than about letting other people have fun in their own ways, you know? i dunno. like, on the one hand, i get it, but i have seen some really vile harassment based on numbers SEGA themselves don't even consider canon, so... i dunno. i dunno! i avoid age discourse like the plague for this exact reason. i know good people who consider the ages canon and i know good people who have their own views. i think fandom is big enough for both.
i just think that using those numbers to decide what ships are worth harassing people over is unnecessary. and also just harassing people about giving them the wrong ages seems shitty to me anyway? why would anybody spend their limited energy being angry about something that's so insignificant? i don't understand it.
but anyway that's not the point. i'm sorry your friends won't hear you out. i don't know much about your situation but to me, if they're not willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, they don't sound like very good friends.
i might be biased, though. i used to be part of a friend group like that and it was terrible for my mental health. it wasn't sustainable at all. i felt like i had to walk on eggshells and be perfect all the time or else they'd all turn on me — and they did. in late 2019 there was a huge fallout because i made a mistake, and it completely messed with my head. i spent three months dissociating like crazy and cutting off everyone i knew irl. in the end i'm glad im not part of that community anymore because they cared much more about never doing anything wrong than actually doing something right.
that whole thing is largely why i try so hard to keep my blog a relaxed and calm place. i don't want to live the way i used to, and i don't want anyone else around me to have to live like that either. you deserve to be around people who are willing to give you the benefit of the doubt!
#basically anon i think you would be better served spending your time with people who are willing to trust you and your taste#rabbit.asks
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I've herd of the real world au! I love it, I love the drama of the royalty au, because someone tried to assainate frank and wally wa pissed abt it and it was cool asf (I'm not sure if there's 2 aus or the person draws them in different styles but im talking about ones I've seen off of tiktok) also the crime puppets au- i am HOOKED (not just because of Frank's design 😭) i love the drama and the designs, i love barnaby's design, Frank's and eddies (haven't seen any other's aside from wally's) although art hasn't been posted of it recently with I'm worried about- (but no pressure to the au creator! All at their own pace!)
| mini warning about terrorism |
I love aus but some- I legit saw a t3rr0rist au- like WHAT? Some people don't deserve to be in the fandom, there's being a little weird then there's being offensive.. Sheesh I pray for us both mate 😭 (I'm not religious I'm only joking)
I love your art style btw :D (should we take this to messages? Since I don't want to spam your tumblr)
I think I saw the t3rr0rist au you've mentioned a few weeks ago DX.... my friends were making fun of it and getting shocked like that's so out of pocket. in my humble opinion AUs like that are created for pure shock value and to garner attention regardless whether its good or bad. as long as they get clout they'll create anything that's insane enough to make people spread it around and go "omg are you guys seing this?????" so I'll just keep my shock to myself or just tell others to be wary of said creator of the AU. besides that shit could upset some people so yah XD it does speak about how out of control the welcome home community has become but that's a story for another day
also I think it's fine by us to keep communicating through asks... for some reason I prefer talking through asks/dashboard rather than messages :P I'm not quite good at talking through DMs but I enjoy talking to you anon :3
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can't post this on main so to the 3 guys who follow us here. sorry o7
I just, wish it didn't feel like I need to be good enough to earn care and love?
Its always about being a calm person, the funny one, or the helpful one, or the dominant one
I need to be smart enough to talk with people and make it interesting, I need to always agree to sexual topics because I need to care and be a good top and a sexual being, I need to be *helpful* or interesting or funny or talented or a good caretaker or a good big brother or quiet and small enough to be allowed in a social interaction and to repent for the fact that I'm... me
a sad depressed unemployed adult who. statistically, is not likely to get better or even get out of the situation he's in.
Idk, I wish I didn't feel this way, but from my very first years to now it's been the most reliable pattern.
[I] made a good analogy (even if it was from his perspective as a secondary host and how it's assumed we're all the same)
"do you even know my favorite color?"
"do you care?"
(funnily enough, he got asked abt that by a friend a couple days after that thought had been floating around in our head, heh.)
it's always about what I can do for others, and never about how I'm feeling and who I am as a person. Care for care's sake.
I'm too tired to be.. anything, and so I self isolate because I can't be a good friend while being like this, you know? hell, even my blood family despises me as I am naturally, if I cant be a good child how do I even expect to be a good friend? and yet I still want a hug without feeling like I have to do anything in return.
I genuinely don't know what receiving unconditional love feels like (or. human unconditional love, I'm sure my cats care for me. and everyone in the Sprout commune. even if that's more out of survival)
it's all about being in the right fandoms and doing art the right way and talking the right way and having the right kinks and dog training myself to be anything but myself because the alternative is total isolation and losing the little support we *do* have.
I fucking learned another language in order to talk with more people and even then I'm. as alone as I've always been. plus my grammar and voice and accent are still shit no matter how much effort I put in
and shit! this is me as the main host, the one who people usually think they know, everyone else has different feelings abt all of this and it's so lonely it fills our body down to the marrow and makes it build in our lungs until we can't breathe
... idk. I'm tired.
Im always the one adapting to other people but it feels like that effort is never reciprocated. or that I haven't earned it being reciprocated
#🎃 text#original post#vent#id normally just post this on our personal server but considering how its all abt isolatioon itd feel... wrong.#idk. maybe i want people to see this#its all just so very lonely#its hard to have hope when this is all weve known#and god. im trying my best#plus im alone in front eich means i dont have anyone to talk with#just.#its lonely.#i wish i was brave enough to ask friends directly for comfort but. ..#i dont want to be tjay friend. i dont want to burden anyone#so strngers seeing this feels less ... scary#baby steps
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talking 2 u abt px11...I haven't started listening yet but if you had to describe some of the characters using characters from other things you're into right now, who would everyone be?
tysm for asking anon!!!! tbh these are not fandoms i am strictly Into as of This Moment bc right now im into random poetry chapbooks and local theatre and also rebel without a cause (1955) so it doesn't really translate
remy - ALICE DYER FROM THE MAGNUS PROTOCOL. HELLO. bi/pan podcast girls with bad style 2016 tumblr humour and zero rizz just big brown eyes..... they mean the world to me <3 also. she just generally gives loser 2010s teen musical protagonist energy (veronica jeremy etc)
jay - my baby ur my baby say it to me... im thinking lex or steph from starkid? she's kind of the angsty ya love interest type haha so those are kind of obvious picks. this one is going to be a little more contentious BUT hear me out okay i am genuinely prepared to make a case for jay/quincy parallels. things we do walked so litany of the martyrs could run and i will die on this hill
daisy - i would say she's christine from bmc!!! you've got the Intense About A Hobby As A Coping Mechanism For Things She Won't Talk About you've got the Rainbow Threw Up On You Fashion Style you've got the Yearning etc etc
hp - he's like if you threw michael distortion elijah volkov and needles tmagp into a blender lol... just a Guy in the hallowed podcast tradition of Skinny Weird Blond Guys Covered In Blood <3 he would do numbers on 2020 tiktok [community notes: he did not do numbers on 2020 tiktok. but he did numbers in my heart]
morello - that evil professor from starkid if he was asian and slayed
joyce & clara - hao & jozef from ghost story? but very tentative lol i don't know enough about h/j to say for certain. but like. on a scale of Maybe Arson to Actual Arson how well are you coping with being haunted by a historical gay couple who ended tragically yknow
#also these are technically my ocs but they're canon in my heart lol so rm & nimi & chuan r sooo tbosas coded#the remy renaissance#also pls anon ask me more about px11 🫶 i am always happy to be weird about it#anon
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beam i love you and it breaks my HEART to see you this way :( i think ever since ive returned, ive always seen you as the top writer for tbz cause you're carrying the fandom with everything you've written, you're literally the admin of the only tbz network that truly matters tbh, and you're SO FUCKING TALENTED :( idk if this means anything from me since i know we aren't as close and i understand the pain of losing your friends :( my moots are my ride or dies and to lose almost all of them breaks my heart because on tumblr, with such a small fanbase and minimal interactions, my friends are the ones that truly carry me and motivate me to continue :(
tumblr makes it genuinely so sick and difficult to stay on this platform but you're one of the few, very very few, gems on this platform, especially for deobiblr and i mean this with all my heart
vae im so sorry it took me so long to get back to u, it's been kind of a lot lately and I def planned on answering this earlier in the week </3 i also have to say that im really quite awful at receiving comfort, but it makes me really touched to see this response from u after that post. i always feel so guilty after posting things like that bc I don't want people to worry so much, but thank u for all of ur reassurances and validations, u truly r just such a gem :((
and pls, i hope u don't feel like any of this is in any way ur fault 😭 im not exactly the greatest at reaching out to my mutuals either, and ur prob one of the few people here who makes a point of reaching out and bringing the community together 🫂 like you've brought so much life back to this place since you've come back, so thank u for that :')))
the feeling is def mutual btw like i would love to get to know u better and become closer friends !!! it would make me all the happier tbh <33 and a sunghcyuk collab would be so fun actually 😭😭 i was actually talking abt a potential collab for when i get to 3k but im still sitting on abt a dozen ideas/factors to consider skfnkdnfkfn
the fact that i motivated u to come back 😭 im so touched vae, like thank u for coming back and not giving up on this community no matter how shitty blr is :') we're very very happy to have u back. and again, thank u for all of ur sweet words. it's hard to put things into perspective sometimes, and i fear i have a habit of isolating myself but also craving validation, so im a walking paradox 😭 anyways, that's enough abt that skfndknf
i love u very much 💖
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hi can i have a pina colada 🩷🩷
* huge animal person. i adore all animals and if i see one, i will feel like petting it. i mean it. it could even be a squirrel. i am the biggest cat person. i loooooove cats and my camera roll is legit 80% pictures of my cats. im the type to send pictures of two cats cuddling to my s/o and say “this is us”
* i am a crybaby. literally. i am a very sensitive person and the stereotype of a empath like i cry over the littlest things and need someone who will be there for me and not treat me like my emotions are a burden
* im introverted and like to stay home but i also dont mind going out especially for dates like the aquarium or movie theater
* the things i value the most in a significant other is loyalty and honesty.
* i isolate myself sometimes and im very bad at communicating especially when it comes to conflict i try to keep every situation calm and avoid confrontation i try to keep the peace no matter what but i still tend to overworry. i have a hard time apologizing for being wrong and letting people help me.
* im very dedicated to my culture (im indian) its a big part of who i am and i would love someone who is also interesting learning abt it.
* i love to cook for the people i love ,, food is my love language
* i love video games, anime, bollywood movies, comic books and romance books. i also love anything horror and fantasy.
* my favorite things to do in a relationship is domestic normal stuff like going to the grocery store together or cooking together or doing laundry together like i think being able to exist with someone is so beautiful
Of course you can! 😃
The perfect lover for you is.....
Beelzebub!
He is not the man of teary eyed, 20 minutes long speeches, but trust me he does appreciate a wholesome meme! Yes, he is not known for his passion of animals, but that's okay! He would find your gentle, golden hearted soul the best remedy. He would strike bavk with wholesome memes such as:
One of the main reason for him to be perfect for you is his EQ. (Emotional intelligence) I feel like we don't talk about this enough in the fandom. He went through a lot just like everyone else, but he is not afraid to be volunrable in front of people he loves! (No, it's not the same as being sensitive!) As he has this quality of him, he would be extremely understanding of your emotions and it would never ever be a burden, don't ever think of it like that!! You two would have honest heart-to-hearts quite often (okay, not every day, but often) and that is so important, it takes intimacy in this relationship to a whole anther level!
He is the kind of person who taps around the bed to find your hands, just to interlock fingers. He loves these moments with you, there is nothing that recharges him better!
Don't worry he does like going out with you, in fact he suggests new places to see! A date must include food though!
If you think he would ever lie to you, you are wrong. Never accuse him of lying. The level of connection between the two of you is irreplaceable, he wouldn't find this anywhere else! Moreover...why would he ever consider disloyalty??? This is as wholesome as a relationship can get!!
Regarding communication... he is much like you, which may lead to some serious issues down the road. I mean both of you neglecting to set boundaries is an issue you need to work on together. Growing together is important though.
He is all ears about your culture, are you kidding me!! Indian food is top tier of course he is interested in everything related to it and to you!
Movie night could be regular! Every Thursday you two sit down, one week it's your pick, the other week it's his! It wouldn't be just you, him and a laptop against the world though. It must be dark with a variety of snacks (both healthy and unhealthy) and cozy blankets.
Beel is one of the more domestic characters, so I'm sure he would enjoy these little moments with you. In fact, he would never let you do the groceries alone.
The other character I can see you in a beautiful relationship is Simeon!
#obey me!#obey me#obey me swd#obey me shall we date#obey me matchups#om!#obey me x you#obey me matchup#omswd
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