#i don't normally considering I'm not good at it

[joelswritingmistress]

Neighbors with Benefits: Chapter 14 (Joel x reader)

Joel Miller x f!reader

Word Count: 2000

Your mother was busy getting all the side dishes ready for the picnic while your dad packed coolers of beer, soda and water outside and prepped the grill.

“I'll bring these out,” you offered, repeating what felt like a thousand times, “What else do you need?”

You knew your mother had a thousand things to say, and maybe a hundred questions after that. Still, she remained cordial and attempted to seem normal on the surface. You knew by her tightly wound mannerisms that she wasn't even close to portraying that - at least not to you. She might've fooled a coliseum full of people with her mask, but not you.

When everything was set up and less than an hour remained until guests began to arrive, you tried to excuse yourself.

“Okay, I’m going to shower.” You scampered toward the stairs but your mother called you back.

Fuck. You had almost gotten up the stairs, but without stalling made your way back to where your mom stood in the kitchen.

“Do you need any more help?” You tried to butter her up a bit by offering your aid and pressing on a smile, but your mother wasn't having it.

“You need to consider what you're doing, (Y/N),” she warned, “I'm saying it for your own good.”

“Okay,” you halfheartedly agreed.

“I mean it,” your mother went on. “I honestly don't know what other advice to give you. He’s a man. He's married.”

“He's not with Cecille,” you insisted, “Do you really think I'd get involved with a married man? I mean, I guess legally he is but they haven't lived together for awhile and they're getting a legal divorce.”

“You're twenty-three.”

“And I'm able to date who I want to date,” you said without trying to sound confrontational. “Mom, I know on the surface this looks bad. But I'm going to feel this out and see where it goes. If I get my heart broken, it's on me. I have feelings for Joel and he has feelings for me. I’ll deal with the consequences, whatever they might be.”

She stared at you for a long moment before saying quietly. “Okay.” Her white flag was waving and, if nothing else, she was done fighting you on it - for the moment.

A temporary victory. You knew this meant your mother wasn't going to tell your father; not yet. And so you silently thanked her with a closed-mouth smile and took the stairs to take a shower.

***

The picnic had dragged. You checked your phone again and again and again. Joel, you guessed, was refraining from being the one to initiate conversation. You couldn't blame him, and you hoped that was all it was - him being cautious.

What if it's over? You wondered. What if that's it? What if all this scared him off?

Your anxiety got the best of you and you wandered around the side of your house to text him. Your thumbs danced on the screen as you asked how his day was going, if he got in touch with Tommy and if later was still good to meet up.

You chewed on your thumbnail and rounded back into the picnic. It was much to your relief that Cecille hadn't shown up. As the hours ticked by you grew more hopeful that she wouldn't swing by. Still, seeing her car in the driveway next door made your insides twist with a concoction of feelings.

Ding! Your phone sounded off and your head was pulled down like a magnet toward the screen.

Text me a time, Joel texted back to you, remember how to get to the fishing spot?

You typed back without hesitation: Yes. I'll let you know when I'm done here.

All you wanted was to be back with. You wanted to take in his body language, hear his words. You wanted to know that despite what had happened that morning, that everything was alright.

You glanced around the backyard at the scene you would have typically enjoyed. There was a four on four volleyball game going on, two people were playing cornhole, others were talking and laughing around the tables you'd helped your parents set up. Regardless of the smiles, the music, the laughter and the sun shining down on everyone, your smiles were forced and fake.

By the time the last of the guests were waving goodbye, you couldn't wait any longer.

Seven o'clock? You typed to Joel, while helping your parents clean up.

You folded a table in half and began lugging it toward the open bay of the garage. When your phone pinged, you set the table down on the driveway so you could check it.

I'm addicted, you acknowledged. Fuck.

Being head over heels for someone was more than you bargained for. You truly felt addicted to Joel Miller.

I'll be waiting, Joel wrote back.

His words out more pep in your step, and you hurried to lug in the cornhole boards and a second table. Inside, you helped your mother wrap up some of the leftovers and wipe down the countertops before finally hurrying to retrieve your keys and a backpack you prepared.

“Are you going to be home tonight?” Your mother asked. She held your gaze and you shook your head.

“I don't think so “ you told her honestly, “But I'll let you know for sure.” She added, “Is that alright?”

“Like you said, you're twenty-three.” She shrugged. “You can do whatever you want.” Your mother turned toward the sink. “Be careful. And text me.”

“I love you.”

She turned and met your gaze. Despite her outward, quiet concern for the situation she said honestly. “I love you, too.”

On a completely opposite and oblivious note, your father high-fived you by the front door as he entered after putting some things in the garage.

“See ya later, kiddo!”

You smiled to yourself, relieved by his nonchalant demeanor. “See ya later, Dad. Love ya.”

“I love you, too.”

You were out the door a few seconds later, speeding off into the night to meet Joel at your secret location. You needed to see him in the worst way. Despite his agreement to meet, there was doubt that plagued the back of your mind.

What if, what if, what if…

Your foot hit the gas a little harder as you drove from back road to back road until the park came into view. You had to really think to remember a few of the last bends in the road but soon you recognized the wooded area that led down to the lake.

Where is he? Where is he?

Relief filled your core when you saw Joel’s truck in a small clearing. Your stomach filled with butterflies as you pulled up beside him. Joel turned from where he sat in the driver’s seat and he flung his door open almost immediately.

Oh, no, you thought. He has something to say.

Joel looked like a man on a mission. You prepared yourself for the worst. You prepared yourself for the heartache. The other shoe was about to drop. All of a sudden you were scared to get out of the car. Joel's face was too serious. If you just sat there then you wouldn't have to hear his let down.

Stop! You scolded yourself.

You popped open your door and let yourself as Joel rounded the front of your car.

Fuck, he looks good.

Joel was all you thought all about all day - not that that was anything new. He stared at you down with jeans a snug fitting white t-shirt. It hugged his rugged upper in all the right places and your former anxious thoughts were replaced far different ones.

“Hi,” you said to him, folding your hands in front of you.

Joel didn't immediately say anything. He appeared as if he was studying you. You were sure he was far better at it than you were.

He walked the rest of the way to you and you went to speak again.

“Joel, I-” You were cut off when he grabbed your face and kissed you firmly on the lips. You kissed him back, letting your guard down completely in his embrace. Almost immediately it grew heated. Your hands began to wander. He began to snake your shirt up over your head and before you knew it you were nearly naked in the bed of his truck with his body blanketing yours.

“Joel,” you finally choked out, “I want you.”

“I love you,” he voiced in a gruff whisper against your lips before devouring them once more.

“I love you,” you whimpered back. One of your legs hooked around his naked waist and Joel groaned into your mouth.

Everything about the moment was feral and raw and right. Being apart all day amidst the uncertainty and the angst made you needy for one another. As bad as you wanted Joel, you wondered if he wanted you more. It felt impossible, but the way he approached you that evening without even saying a word left you breathless.

Darkness had fully taken over the world when the two of you finished. Even long after your lovemaking was through, your lips touched, your hands explored one another and Joel kissed along your collarbone, neck and shoulders.

Being out in nature completely nude and basking in the afterglow of perhaps the most tender, emotional sex you had ever had was an experience you wouldn't soon forget.

“I was afraid you were going to break things off with me,” you said quietly, kissing Joel’s neck as he closed his eyes beside you.

“I could never do that.”

“Never?” You let your teeth graze his neck as you continued to kiss him there.

“Mmm..” Joel moaned out loud, “Never.”

Laying face-to-face you linked your arm up under his and rested your palm on his shoulder blade. You pulled him close and kissed him. There was no getting enough of Joel. You slipped your tongue past his lips and he eagerly reciprocated. As you made out you felt him harden again against your upper thigh.

“I want you again,” you practically begged, pulling him closer. “Please.” Your hand drifted down to his lower back and Joel rolled his body back on top of yours with your encouragement.

His kiss was smoldering. You pawed your arms around him and tangled a hand in his thick, dark hair. When Joel’s lips parted from yours he kissed down your neck to the tops of your breasts before separating himself from you.

“No,” you begged, pulling him back with a smile as your teeth caught your bottom lip.

Joel satisfied you with a sloppy, closed-mouth kiss. “I'm just reaching inside for some blankets,” he explained, whispering against your lips. Joel pried open the back window on his truck and grabbed a small stack of blankets from the back seat.

You adjusted so he could place a few down on the truck bed and then laid back down flat and pulled him back to you.

Your bodies connected immediately as his lips crashed back against yours. When your lips finally parted to take a breath, you gasped out the words, “Don't leave me.”

Why was this such a problem for you? Even Joel, himself, saying he would never leave wasn't convincing enough. You were too deep into it emotionally and it was making you a wreck inside.

Joel, patient as ever, brought his lips to your ear. “You're mine.” His teeth latched onto your ear lobe and he swirled his tongue around the area. “All mine.”

Your head dropped back in pleasure and you dug your fingers into his back.

New kink unlocked.

@mellymbee @pedropascal111 @axshadows @mybritishstyle @untamedheart81 @amyispxnk @goodvibesonly421 @cosmic006533-blog @ashleyfilm @maybetomorrowgirl @rebeccawinters @cuteanimalmama @vickie5446 @writlingerz @drewharrisonwriter @churchofjoemiller

[simpee9000]

You Were A Dream ~ 2 ~ T. Amajiki

Blurb Idea : Part One (this is the last part btw) Description : Tamaki was always shy, but with you? He was doing everything he never expected. All with his best friend's sister. it felt like the words cruel joke on him. Yet for you, it was all like a dream. Word Count : 5.7k Warnings : Angst, Hints to Smut but none fr

---

"Are you okay?" your brother asked when he opened the door to your apartment. The first question he's asked since.

And you ignored it.

Going straight to your room and slamming the door.

Falling face-first into your pillow so you could cry.

The realization of the gap between you and Tamaki was painful. The fact that you were so mentally in the relationship while he was still unsure? That was unthinkable.

A sinking feeling was being pressed into your chest, hurting your lungs as you took rapid breaths in, trying to stop crying.

The sinking feeling that Tamaki might not be the one at all. That this past year might of been a waste of hopes and false dreams.

It put a damper on everything.

Moping slightly around the workplace, shining a smile when needed just like your brother would. Just to drop the act at home. Dragging your feet and keeping your head hung low.

It felt pitiful. But you put your all into this relationship. You thought through everything with him, you told him everything.

Mirio started questioning you after a week.

"I didn't think Tamaki would affect you this bad," he was crossing his arms, a concerned look on his face as he left half his thoughts unspoken.

You gave him a dead stare, turning back to your phone and once again ignoring any conversation about this.

If Tamaki didn't want to talk to you about it, you didn't want to talk about it.

And while you were upset. You weren't going to throw him under the bus just to rant. His feelings were realistic, just entirely different than yours.

So you've been reevaluating everything.

This relationship might not work, and maybe you were stupid for thinking it would.

''Hi, beautiful."

You turned your head away from the printer, giving him a soft smile, "Hey Kaminari."

"Why so glum?" he walked next to you, leaning onto the side of the printer, eyeing the stack of work reports you were printing out.

You sighed, "Lots of stuff."

"Boyfriend?"

"Something like that," you shrugged, mindlessly watching the papers slide out of the machine.

"I'm all ears," his cheerful smile made you consider it.

"I just-" your eyes caught onto Tamaki's white hero hoodie, one he was holding down with his hands and turning away from you.

Kaminari glanced where you did, "Is he avoiding you or something?"

"Kind of? I don't know," you shook your head, taking your eyes of his figure and back to the papers.

"What happened?"

"We're just at different points in our relationship," you spoke softly, trying to keep your voice indifferent as you picked up your finished papers, "Might not be much of a relationship anymore."

"Oh, fuck- I'm sorry," Kaminari took the joy from his face as he gave you an apologetic look.

"It's fine," you walked to your office, having his steps behind, "It's my fault really, I got ahead of myself."

"Look," Kaminari stopped you just before your door, "Don't blame yourself for your feelings and don't apologize for them. It doesn't fix anything. You are allowed to feel stuff."

His unusual pep talk made you smile, "Thank you, I needed to hear that," you laughed lightly at how Kirishima has influenced the boy, "I've been telling myself I was overthinking."

"Nah, it's all normal," he smiled brightly at you, patting your shoulder before seeing himself off.

You watched after his figure, thinking over how to go about everything while respecting how you felt and how Tamaki did.

"What was that about?"

"Holy fuck!" You jumped at the voice behind you, "Die. Literally die, Mirio."

"What has you smiling? Boyfriend?"

You glared at him, giving him a disgusted look, "No, get out of my business."

"That look says you and your boyfriend aren't on good terms," Mirio hummed as if he cracked a code.

"No, that look means to fuck off," you walked into your office, shutting your door in his face.

He phased through anyway, "Come on, just tell me what happened, it's been two weeks."

You looked at the calendar on your computer, your anniversary is today.

"What just happened?" Mirio spoke more calmly, "You went from annoyed to just sad."

"Can you please go?" you set your papers down and slouched in your office chair. Rubbing at your eyes to push back the emotions.

"Sis-"

"Please?"

Mirio frowned, stepping out of the office and giving you as sad smile.

All you could do was stare at your computer. The date is brightly marked in your brain and on the screen.

Just for your phone to be void of anything.

For good measure, you opened your phone again, checking your messages.

The last ones just being saddening.

"Can't wait to see your costume!" "I look stupid" "Maybe you'll let me take it off you then?" "oh"

After that there was nothing. No calls, no texts, no stupid Instagram reels. Nothing.

You turned off your phone, tossing it screen down on the desk with a sigh.

The urge to cry was strong, but when you held your head in your hands and looked down, you reminded yourself of all the work you had.

You'd cry when you got home.

Barely getting into your apartment before tears started falling.

You along with them. Shutting the door behind you and slumping against it.

A year wasted felt horrible. You wanted this to work so bad. But if he couldn't talk or come to you after clearly hurting you, then it wasn't worth it.

Sure, you could text him. But the communication on your side was fine, yet he never discussed his. You felt blindsided somewhat.

You deserved more from that.

So you took a deep breath and forced yourself to stand.

This was your anniversary after all, and maybe you wanted that box of brownies buried in your cabinet all for yourself.

Uncovering it and starting to mix it all together, ignoring how you were supposed to make these with Tamaki.

"Hey," Mirio dragged out the word when he opened the door.

"Not sharing," you continued to mix the brownies.

"I brought you someone."

"I don't really wanna hang out with your girlfriend," you tried to decline nicely.

"You sure?"

"Mirio-" you turned around and saw Tamaki messing with his fingers.

"I'll leave you to it," Mirio chirped, "Don't know what happened but I want it resolved."

You slumped further, "Don't bother Mirio, it's fine."

"Huh?" he stopped his steps out.

"He's all yours," you shrugged.

"You don't wanna fix this?" Tamaki spoke softly.

"What is there to fix?" you looked at him plainly, trying to mask the fact you cried over him an hour ago, a day ago, and a week ago.

Tamaki looked between you and Mirio.

You took a deep breath in, ready to let go of the past year.

"Our relationship? Do you just want to break up?" Tamaki asked, voice wobbly.

"Huh?"

You blinked at him, ignoring Mirio's confusion. "I don't want to break up, I thought you wanted to?"

"No, I just-" he looked at Mirio again, "Can we talk about this? Like- somewhere else?"

"Why?"

He nodded his head towards Mirio.

"Do you not want him to know about our relationship? Because you just announced it," you crossed your arms. It seemed like he was okay with dating you, just didn't want Mirio to know any details.

"That's not-" he shook his head, shutting his mouth and looking at Mirio, "We've been dating for a year. I'm- I'm so sorry for not telling you."

"Oh," Mirio shifted how he was standing, "We can talk about that later. Sort out whatever happened, Imma go see Hado." Giving you his signature look of 'call me if you need me'.

Tamaki watched him leave in silence.

"He's going to hate me," he mumbled.

You shrugged, "I doubt it."

Silence rang throughout the room, leaving you to set your brownies into the oven.

"I'm sorry I never talked to you," Tamaki spoke softly, ashamed. You went to turn around before his voice stopped you, "Please- don't look at me. I won't be able to say what I need to."

"I can't be with someone who can't look at me," you sighed, "and don't be someone you're not for me."

"I want to though, I want to better myself for you."

You turned to face him, "Then I need you telling me to my face."

He frowned, lips wobbling as he looked at you.

Deciding not to let the conversation start off so bitter, and completely in his hands, you took a deep breath, "It's our anniversary."

"I- I know," Tamaki tightened his hold on his hand, "I wanted to see you sooner."

"Why didn't you?" You crossed your arms, leaning to rest on the counter behind you, "You could of texted, or called."

Tamaki looked down, ashamed, "I thought you'd ignore it."

"So you didn't even bother trying?"

"I felt like you deserved more, wanted more- So I waited until I could come over without Mirio being suspicious," Tamaki rambled slightly, "Then I realized that was stupid- so I just asked to talk to you through him."

You hummed in agreement, looking at the brownies cooking in the oven rather than him.

"I don't care if he knows, not anymore-"

"Tamaki," you sighed, "That's hardly the thing I'm upset about."

"It's not?" he asked quietly.

"No, I understand you not wanting to tell him- Hell, I hardly wanted to because of how he acts- but the way you went about it? The afterward?" you turned to look at him now, trying to stress your point, "I can dismiss how you said you'd never wanted me to meet your girlfriend. It was a panicked response, hurtful but I can understand your side."

"I truly didn't mean for it to come out that way- I just didn't want Mirio to think I'd choose someone else-"

"That's the issue," you cut him off, wanting to get to the point, "You should choose someone else sometimes- and the way you view our relationship as new? We have entirely different viewpoints and priorities. I can't understand how you told me I'm new- I just- do you know how unvalued that made me feel?" you let your arms fall to your sides, defeated.

Tamaki just blinked at you for a moment, soaking in each word you just said. Watching how your shoulders slump and the way you curl in on yourself. "I didn't mean to- I was just trying to make you see my point."

"By hurting my feelings? I get you were stressed but you completely disregarded me, and our relationship. When I pointed out it'd be a year in two weeks- you just shrugged it off," you huffed, feeling the tears weld behind your eyes once again. He was just proving your thoughts correct. "You didn't even try to call me."

"You didn't text me so I thought-"

"Stop thinking so negatively of me. If you think I'd act in an intentionally hurtful way then why be with me? It's just sad to hear what you think of me. I didn't think for a second you were intentionally trying to hurt me, I just thought you were stressed," you shrugged aggressively, hands thrown into the air "Maybe that's me being naive, I don't know. But you should have reached out, you were the one who hurt me and I made that clear."

He just stared at the floor. Body frozen. So you did the same, unable to look at him as you tried to steady your voice.

You lowered your voice to a whisper, "Maybe we just aren't right for each other. I need someone who matches my priorities and can communicate with me fully- or at least attempt to. I don't think that's too much to ask. It'd make your friendship less awkward too."

"That's not-" Tamaki spoke out panicked, stepping closer to you as you looked up, "I don't want that- at all. I need to work on that, a hundred percent- I'll start right now. You are my top priority, I just completely panicked. I don't care if Mirio knows or if he's mad- well I do in case we get married- I wouldn't want your brother to hate me. But- you mean the most to me. I should have reached out but I got too stuck in my head over how you'd react. It wasn't fair."

His eyes were flickering across your face, trying to catch a glimpse of the slightest change.

"I should have thought more- should have told you more about what I thought," Tamaki lifted his hands briefly- pausing in an attempt to grab your hands before dropping them back to his sides. "I'll do better- I'll prove that my priorities match yours. I just needed to get over telling Mirio- and I did-"

"What happens the next time there's a bump in the road? Will you shut down again and assume the worst? Will you run away from me after being hurtful?" you were closing yourself off, crossing your arms. You didn't even know how to think.

If this were your friend, you'd tell her she is dumb if she believes he's going to change. But you wanted to believe it too. Maybe Tamaki was different, he has always been someone who adapts to things overtime. Maybe you were just dumb.

"I don't know for sure what will happen then, but I know I will try to be better. I want you to be there for me and I want to be there for you- I just don't know how and I should have asked. I'll work on it all- I should have done it sooner," he spoke quickly, slowly getting closer to your space.

You looked away, overwhelmed with his presence, "I don't think I can get over how you dismissed our relationship and our anniversary."

"I just panicked, I'm sorry. I don't know what I'd do if you told me the same. I um- I got you a gift for it- but I don't think now's the time-" he shuffled awkwardly, grabbing something in his pocket briefly before dropping his hand. "I can't explain how sorry I am."

You took a deep breath, he sounded genuine but you were still hurt, "Can I have some time to think about it? I want to believe you- I just don't know how a relationship would work if you didn't communicate to me more."

He stepped away from you, hurt, "Yeah- we can do that- Um- I'll give you your space."

"I don't want space, I just want to think on it," you clarified, hoping he'd get what you meant.

"I'll let you do that then," he shuffled back awkwardly, making his way to the door, "I'll- I'll just leave this here." He took a box out of his pocket and placed it on the counter, awkwardly patting it before speaking, "It's an anniversary gift- don't feel like I'm trying to change your mind- I'm just going to leave you." He blabbed as he fumbled with the door to get it opened.

"It's fine, get home safe," you watched him leave.

He peeked his head back into the room, "I love you- don't feel the need to say it ba-"

"I love you too, get home in one piece," you held back a giggle at his anxiousness and the way his face brightened at your words, ears turning red as he held his head down and walked out of your apartment.

The beeping of the oven caught your attention just as the door closed behind him.

Leaving you to eat the brownies while they were still burning hot.

You're glad he came to you- even though it took two weeks. He still came to you. He said he'd changed, so all you could do was wait and see.

"Home, I hope the brownies you made hit the craving you talked about"

He texted you, so that was a start.

When Mirio came home you were curious about his response to everything.

So seeing him come home with his brows furrowed and his mouth in a frown alarmed you.

"You good?" you asked, half chewing the brownie you cut out.

"Tamaki's the guy you've been seeing? The dude you've been upset over?" He crossed his arms in front of you, standing across the counter from where you sat at the island.

"Yeah," you shrugged, you didn't want a lecture.

"How come you guys never told me?"

You gave him a pointed look, "Really? You got weird when me and him were in the same room."

"Because I knew he liked you and I didn't want him to make you uncomfortable," he huffed, "I'm fine with you guys dating- I just wish I was told. I had a feeling anyways."

"Sure," you rolled your eyes.

"I did! He looked at you odd," he pouted, before taking on another serious face, "Did you guys resolve the issue?"

You shrugged again, "I don't know, It's a mess right now."

"What even happened?" he asked as he slumped into the couch you were sitting next to.

You slumped further into your seat, "The thing he said at the party started an argument is all."

"He was telling me he wasn't talking with you, like communicating well," Mirio added, trying to show he knew some details.

"Yeah," you shrugged, "I don't really wanna talk about it all."

"Okay," he drummed his fingers on the couch, "That movie you talked about is on streaming, wanna watch it?"

Since then, Tamaki has been trying every day. He was also trying to let you think for yourself so that led to awkward moments. He'd ask you to come over then fumble for an excuse to cancel. He was proving he'd try, and that's all you wanted.

He also started to bring you a coffee in the morning before scattering off to his own work.

"Denki, that's single-handedly the dumbest thing you've ever said," you laughed, he just said he didn't understand what you were talking about when you mentioned an article over 'human connection' and asked what that even meant.

"I'm just confused," he threw his hands up, "What's human connection?"

"Socializing," you explained, "Like, humans interacting and making a connection, stupid."

"Oh," he blinked at you.

You rolled your eyes and caught Tamaki's eye across the room, looking at you with a frown. Not really at you either, mainly at Denki.

Denki noticed your far off look, looking over his shoulder to see what you were. "Should I go?" he laughed awkwardly.

You shrugged, "If he has an issue with it, he can tell me." You looked back at Denki.

"Okay, I guess," he dragged out, shuffling on his feet, "I took your advice."

"Hm?"

"With Jirou, I asked her out finally," he spoke as if a weight on his shoulders disappeared. He's been talking to you about her for the past few weeks, wanting to be a cheesy couple during the holidays.

"Really?" you jumped up, "What happened?"

He sighed, "She's um, she's dating Momo, Creati if you didn't know."

"Oh, Denki that sucks, but at least you know," you frowned at him, "Did it affect how she treats you, or anything?"

"No, she's not the type to do that, she kinda just brushed it off and told me she had a girlfriend," he shrugged, looking around the office rather than you, "It sucks though, I've had a thing for her since first year."

She seemed to go about it in a nice way, he just seemed disappointed. "Didn't you say Kirishima's new assistant caught your eye?"

"I don't even know her, with Jirou I actually saw a personality behind the looks."

"That just means you need to do that again, you'll get that interest again, just gotta look for it," you shrugged, looking at the time on the clock and grabbing at your papers, you had a meeting in five minutes.

"Says the one that's with her childhood crush," he huffed, "I wish I had that spark."

"It's not all that it's cut out to be, but I see what you mean, I thought the same thing until it happened to me," you tried to reassure, giving him a pointed look, "You'll find someone, just gotta actually look for them not just their looks."

Denki scoffed, "You sound like Kacchan, hopeless romantic bullshit."

"It's not bullshit," you laughed, "I'll help set you up with a friend if you want? Text me if you do, meeting time."

"I think about it," he hummed, "Good luck with your meeting."

You padded towards the meeting doors, opening them to make a beeline towards your assigned seat with all the papers you had over your assignments this month. Smiling at the coffee cup sat next to your nametag with a little T written on it.

Though he gave you a smile during the meeting, you only got to talk afterward.

"Why'd Chargebolt look so upset?" Tamaki asked first thing. You were still collecting your papers into a pile when you asked so you looked at him confused. "Earlier, when the two of you were talking, he- this isn't a jealous thing- I'm just confused- Isn't he the I don't know, happy one?"

Happy with the confirmation of why he was asking, you answered, "He asked someone out and it didn't go to well, he's liked them since forever too."

"Oh," he hummed, "Sorry, I just noticed the way your face dropped with his- I thought maybe something bad happened and that you wouldn't- never mind."

You raised your brow at his rambling and the cut-off, tucking the papers neatly into your arm before looking at him with your full attention.

He let out a sigh, "I was worried something happened, and that you wouldn't tell me. I'm kind of- insecure I guess, lately, since I don't know what we are and how we stand on that stuff."

"Fair, I don't know where we stand either, I still need to think it over. I can see that you're trying though, I appreciate it," you smiled, "But just know that you're probably the first I'd go to still," you added, feeling somewhat guiltily that you had his strung along.

"Okay," he smiled back, "I'd go to you first too."

You continued on with your day separately afterward.

Falling asleep and waking up to the same dream since you've told him to wait.

The dream of how you guys used to be, it was cute, it also made you yearn for it. The dream went over the before, then to the fight, then ended with you going to his apartment and confessing your love and want for him.

You've been sitting with it for a while, he's shown change but you wanted to know fully. The decision was made but you still wanted to be confirmed you wouldn't regret it.

The light in your room was dim, but the light through the window casted a prefect sliver of light on the jewelry box that Tamaki left with you after the fight.

You still haven't opened it.

Not wanting it to be attached to a negative memory of him, you left it to the side. Knowing that if you opened it then, you'd only think of the fight when he gave it. So you waited till your mind was made up.

Which it was, and since you couldn't act like how you did in your dream and run to his apartment in the middle of the night, it felt fair to open it now.

So you rolled yourself out of bed and turned on your desk lamp, lighting up the box perfectly. It was a deep navy velvet, the coating all fancy ring boxes have. Clicking open easily to shine your favorite tone of jewelry shimmering with a very pale blue butterfly being held as a pendant. Something he mentioned was his favorite, something he said he gave to those he loved most.

Something Mirio was never gifted.

His mom had a bracelet with small gold butterflies making the chain, he got it for her after his first paycheck. She was the only one he had given one to, until now.

You shouldn't have immediately compared yourself with your brother, but you couldn't help it. You fully had something he didn't.

Now you really wanted to act on your dream and run to him. Already throwing on a hoodie and pants, and shoving your foot into a slip-on shoe before you could think. Grabbing your keys off your desk before running out the door.

Ignoring the sirens going off faintly in the distance, another hero could deal with it, and running towards his apartment in the snow.

Ever the romantic, you were, you were inwardly laughing to yourself at the cheesy romance. Feeling giddy as you pressed his floor number in the elevator. This was just like every rom-com ever. The love interest running through bad weather to reunite. It was like everything you dreamed of.

Pounding at his door as you bit your cheek, nerves running through you at the fact you were getting your relationship back.

After a few knocks, you went to check your phone for the time, noticing the lack of weight in your pocket and the fact you didn't know your phone.

You knocked louder, disappointment settling in.

You heard a door click open behind you, and a groggy mumble of your name as well.

"Denki?" you turned towards Kirishima's door, "What are you doing here?"

"Kiri asked me to dog sit," he looked at you weirdly, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm getting back with Tamaki- speaking of which- do you know where he is? I don't have my phone," you rocked on the heels of your feet, the nerves of talking about it all, getting to you.

Denki's face dropped, "You don't have your phone? Did you walk here?"

"Yeah- why do you look so freaked out?"

"The fucking news- I thought you would have seen it- fuck- hold on," he walked back inside.

You stepped near the door, confused, "What news? You're freaking me out."

He grabbed his keys and shoved his feet in crocs before motioning you to walk with him, "I don't- Amajiki is in the hospital- it just fucking happened- I'm surprised you didn't hear it on the way here."

Your feet stuttered as you walked, tripping you to run into him, "The fuck?"

Denki picked up your hand and pulled you into the elevator, "The building clasped on him while he was helping people evacuate from a fire. The news stopped broadcasting it afterwards."

Everything that was running in your body stopped, you felt nothing.

"I tried calling you- I'm sorry- fuck I'm so sorry."

You didn't even register anything until Mirio was wrapping you into a tight hug at the hospital. Mumbling frantic 'I'm sorry' and 'I tried to save him's.

Soaking in the look of the hospital. Nurses and doctors running around to each hero on the floor. Some from the same incident as Tamaki and some from another horrific event.

Being a hero, and friends with heroes, meant a secure fact of never being safe and never a promised day. You weren't living some type of fairytale dream, no matter how much you believed that. You just never imagine how it'd feel to look at your loved one while they were being stabilized with fluids and oxygen.

It felt like there was cotton shoved in your ears. A weight in your chest and something stuck in your throat. Nothing of you would function as you stood at the end of his bed. Listening to the nurse discuss his state and not being able to ask anything further. Just feeling lost.

A lot of smoke was in his lungs, it was the main reason he was in the hospital. He was on oxygen because of that. Then he was on fluids because of how his quirk worked, it depleted him of what he needed as he used it before he passed out from all the smoke. He also broke his arm, shattered from the ceiling caving in on him.

All you could think was that you were glad he wasn't dead.

It only took him a couple of hours to wake up, luckily. With how guilty your brother acted and how sorry Denki looked, you felt like he was dead. Yet you still felt nauseous when you heard him speak.

"Could I get some water?" he croaked. You jumped from your seat, not expecting his voice as you zoned out on his broken arm.

His voice was absolutely shattered, and he chugged the water the second you handed it to him. Listening to you tell him everything the doctors told you and calling the doctors in to talk with him about staying until the afternoon for his vitals to stabilize fully.

"Sorry I scared you," he mumbled quietly after the door clicked shut, his thumb tracing over your knuckles, you held his hands when the doctors came in.

"You were saving people, it's your job," you spoke for him but also yourself, you wanted to be mad that he could have died before you got to confess everything, but you couldn't be. You were the one who waited after all.

He just stayed silently for a moment, "Is that the necklace?"

You reached your free hand to touch it, "Yeah."

"Why now?"

"I um, I put it on before I knew anything happened. I was coming over to your apartment to talk about everything- and then Denki told me what happened," you squeezed his hand tighter.

"You were going to talk to me? What about?" his voice was still shot but he sounded more nervous, his heart rate shower higher on the monitor.

"It's not something we should talk about in a hospital room" you laughed softly, "It can wait."

"I wanna talk about it now, I don't care," his voice was somewhat firm but was also pleading. It made you look at him more, his hair was a mess, hardly in the shape he tried to keep it in. He had smudges of ash on his cheeks and dark circles under his eyes. Skin paler than normal. To word it simply, he looked horrible. The last thing you wanted to do was make him anxious.

"I've decided," you turned to sit next to him, moving to have his hand in your lap as you looked at him, "I definitely want to be with you, though our problems definitely still need to be communicated more, we should do that together."

"You're not saying this out of guilt right?" he mumbled, a frown and worried eyes showing his worry.

"No, I was already at your apartment before I knew, I made up my mind a couple of days ago."

"Thank fuck." You laughed at his uncommon swear. "I'll do everything I can to keep you happy," he squeezed your hand this time, and when you hummed in reply, he moved past it, "Do you like the necklace?"

"I love it," you smiled, "it's perfect."

He blushed, "I was worried you'd hate it, I had to keep checking your jewelry to know which you liked more, gold or silver."

"Well you were right, I'm never taking this off- by the way," you laughed softly, wanting to go in for a hug but noticing him flinch his broken arm away. "-Shit- sorry."

"We- can- if you want-" he coughed out of awkwardness, not smoke, before he mumbled, "kiss."

You took his offer instantly, connecting your lips gently for the first time in almost a month. Feeling the spark from before and tasting the smoke he inhaled. Pulling away with a laugh when his heart rate monitor started blaring at how fast it was beating. 

After he was cleared from the hospital, you stayed with him. Having Hado bring you a bag of clothes so you wouldn't have to leave him alone and after a long joking, but not joking, sex talk with Mirio, you were left alone with him.

You were babying him, you'll admit it. But you felt bad, you basically left him and while on the way to get him back you ignored him almost dying. You didn't know, but you should have.

Dishing up the ordering of his favorite food while he watched his favorite show on the couch.

"You don't have to do all this, you know," he mumbled when you handed him the dish.

"Let me have this," you sighed out, "I should have told you I wanted to continue our relationship but I made you wait- then it led me to-"

"It's not your fault," he cut you off, leaving you to huff and sit next to him.

Not knowing what else to say, that he wouldn't object, you settled on the truth, "I love you."

As always, he flushed red and choked on his ramen. Only mumbled a quiet 'I love you too' after he got his food down correctly.

You let him enjoy his food before saying anything else, letting him place the empty bowl on the table with another 'thank you' before you start talking about it again. "I had a dream before all that happened too," you looked down at your hands, "It was super cheesy- I did basically what I ended up doing before I found out what happened. I rushed out of my house in the middle of the night, running through the snow to get to you."

He let you think over your words, noticing you were just trying to explain how you felt.

"I just rushed out without a thought to grab my phone- it was dumb of me."

"You could never have known," Tamaki placed his hand on your knee to drag your attention to him, "It's not like your dream could have predicted that- life isn't like dreams."

"It is with you," you whispered when you looked up.

"Cheesy," he cringed, voice still soft with a smile regardless, his nose wrinkling, "You were a dream too."

He leaned in for a kiss, laughing along with you at how corny everything felt. It was everything your younger felt hoped for with just a bit more realism, it was beautiful.

You deepened the kiss once the laughter faded, going to grab his shoulder before he jerked away in pain. "Shit- sorry," you mumbled, pulling back to look at his arm.

"It's fine," he pulled you into him again with his good arm, dragging you partly in his lap, as much as he could, before he settled his hand on your hip.

"Really?" you pulled back and gave him a look, your hips were perfectly over his.

He blushed, "It's been a while since we kissed," he said in explanation.

"If only you weren't broken," you laughed, giving him a peck on the lips before moving to get off his lap.

"Hey," he held you to his lap with his hand, face still shy, "Not all of me is broken."

"Tamaki, we are not having sex for the first time with you injured," you laughed at how out of character he was being, "What happened to you being shy?"

"You told me to communicate," he frowned, "We can still kiss then? I just- I wanna be close to you. I missed you.."

"I didn't expect you to communicate sex stuff," you laughed at how he was truly going above and beyond what you asked.

He rolled his eyes, "Can we?"

"Of course," you smiled before leaning back in to kiss him.

Younger you would faint at the position he had you in once his arm was healed a week after from healing quirks.

Dreaming that he'd be so soft and loving- and while he was- he was also lost. The second he slipped his dick into you after all the foreplay, he moaned so loud. He let go of any shyness he had and started whimpering in your neck.

And that's just to put it nicely.

---

~ Part one ~ My Full Master List ~

I'll probably make a few blurbs about this if people want but I could not for the life of me write a full smut scene.

Happy Holidays!

[pinkcaraz]

ok short summary of things taylor talked about during his just chatting portion of the stream (11/27/24). i definitely missed some stuff bc his stream was super quiet and i was doing other stuff but yea i summarized most of the points. also i left out a few parts about details on league since i didn't rly think anyone would care that much about it LOL.

taylor got home 5 days ago, had training today, will probs start hitting tmr, said he should have maybe taken more days off

he saw the novandy news, said it'll be super nice to have andy back and that he was def not expecting it

he hasn't finished arcane yet, he's waiting for morgan to watch it together

he bought a custom (?) cloud pendant (i think from an anime i'm not sure) for a chain

talking about watching faker at worlds and how insane it is bc he could see his screen and see that he was tabbing around watching all the different perspectives

wants caedrel to coach him LOL told chat to spam him to coach him in league

scuffed stream 😭 he's fumbling w his mic and facecam

he said hes former top 100 NA fifa player, said team italy should have invited them so he could smoke them at fifa LMAO

got asked why does he take off left shoe during breaks? theres a spot that hurts when he slides around so taking his shoe off to let it chill helps relieve the pain

jealous of jannik and iga for being able to slide into backhands (he was more specific about the type of shot but i missed it)

bragging about his win rate in league (again)

talking about frances' serve time violations in shanghai thought the first 2 calls of time violation were bs, but def thought the one where he faked the ball toss was valid

said he'd answer controversial tennis questions LOL

got asked why sour cream and guac? bc he doesn't like spicy that much

london airbnb incident - they booked the airbnb the day before they got there, he thought the people trying to rob the airbnb probs thought they weren't there, morgan noticed sketchy people walking up to the door in the middle of the night, he tried to bolt the door but there wasn't a bolt so he held it shut w his body, he had his racket w him and said he would have hit the intruders w a slice forehand if they got in LMAO

thoughts on racket smashing - thinks it's entertaining, ok if not putting others in danger/at risk, thinks it's entertaining for people/fans to see, somewhat humanizing effect on the player, not healthy to keep anger in, don't do it on grass tho bc it ruins the court

talking about his match v daniil - thought that one game was funny but didn't think he was intentionally throwing the match

tommy and frances playing mind games by overcomplimenting their opponent (thinking about the laver cup fed '05 moment)

hits ohbhs in practice sometimes bc he thinks his "one-y" is unbelievable, rule is he's allowed to hit it until he hits a bad one then goes back to normal

any profits he gets from the stream will go to charity ! he's interested in donating to things that help kids

players don't pay for hotels while they're in tournaments but pay for everything else

thinks michael (his coach) should def win best coach, sportsmanship award will probs go to carlos or casper

thinks most improved award should consider older players more like draper, popyrin, musetti, himself, also jasmine paolini, etc. bc it's more impressive when older players improve compared to younger guys who have more time - for ex, gmp improved a lot this yr in ranking bc he was alrdy good and finally got time to actually play to raise his ranking

preference on armstrong vs ashe - more of a preference about which times to play, armstrong has better times for him

can go through like 5 pairs of shoes during a hard court major bc of all the sliding around

said he heard a lot of positive feedback about the wta finals from the players - players were taken care of well, knows that the previous wta finals tournaments have been rough

was gonna go to usc for college if he went to college, he verbally committed to usc, but didn't really plan on going to college

taylor bought and had flowers sent to morgan in LA

said watching worlds was super sick and he thought the opening ceremony was amazing, gumayushi's pose went hard

he doesn't save vods bc he doesn't want people to clip stuff and pull stuff he said, said he feels it allows him to be more authentic on stream

slkjhfajkf he talked about the liking a homophobic tweet on accident and said he freaked out bc he was having a chill no phone day and when he went to check socmed he was like "omg i'm canceled" IM DEAD

favorite league character to play rn is viego, he wins a lot of games on him

thinks the tennis calendar should def be shorter

[moongeonight]

You should rest

Summary: Jayce finds a tired Viktor working in the early morning, they will definitely have a conversation

A/N: This was supposed to be a drabble but I extended it a little 🥹 I love arcane and these two, nothing else to say

(this is a tickle fanfic!)

------------------

Well... It was 4 in the morning , Jayce had returned to the lab because he forgot some plans that he had to organize for tomorrow, after that he could maybe go to sleep or- oh who was he kidding, he probably wouldn't be able to sleep again... But still... he had to try-

He almost spit out the cup of coffee he was drinking when he saw Viktor working on an invention in the lab, since when was he here?! he quickly approached Viktor leaving his cup on the side of the work table.

"Viktor...! why are you here? you should already be resting you know...? I thought you were back in your apartment! It's 4 am for God's sake!"

"Good morning to you too Jayce and... I could ask you the same thing, Shouldn't you be sleeping instead of drinking coffee and working on your plans?" viktor said without taking his eyes off his work and taking a sip from his own drink.

"I just came here to organize some papers... I didn't think I'd find anyone here, I didn't even see you when I came in, I thought I was alone!" Jayce replied by sighing and going to sit in one of the armchairs, staring at Viktor who was working on some kind of Hextech core.

Viktor just hummed quietly as he finished soldering some wires, he just ignored him and continued to work, he was in a slightly bad mood today and didn't really feel like dealing with his partner's ramblings.

"...Hey Viktor?

Viktor was still ignoring him, not really in the mood to talk to him

"Yes?..." he said in a monotone voice, not taking his eyes off the project he was working on.

"Are you mad a me...?" Jayce got up from the chair and went to sit next to him, although he was still a little away, but he was close enough to see what Viktor was doing.

"Is it something I said? Or did I screw up on something...?" Jayce put on a soft but worried expression.

Viktor looked at him for a few seconds and then went back to work.

"No? Why would I be mad at you? I just have a lot of work to do today and I'm not in a very good mood to go through your usual rambling"

"Hey...! I don't ramble! I just talk a normal amount..." Jayce said letting out an offended and almost dramatic tone.

"You really have a weird concept of how much talking is considered normal..." Viktor said in a slightly sarcastic and teasing tone, with this, a smile appears slightly on his face.

Jayce notices that little smile Viktor had on his face, he seems a little relieved that he's not mad at him, he leans slightly towards Viktor and starts staring at the invention he was working on, trying to divert the conversation a little.

"Hey... what are you even doing?"

Viktor didn't seem to care that jayce got closer to him and continues to explain to him what he is doing.

"I'm just trying to make some small adjustments to this core here..." he points to the big and complex hextech core.

Jayce looks at the big and complex core for a few moments and sighs.

"...Viktor i understand that it is important but... it's still 4 in the morning, you should be resting not working on more things! Besides, you've already done so much today, don't overwork yourself, Let's go to sleep and we'll work on this in a few more hours-"

"I appreciate your concern but you and I know this can't wait until tomorrow... besides, I'm almost done with it anyway"

Viktor interrupted him and continuing working on the core, a few more details and it would be ready... or at least that was what he was telling himself for the last 2 hours.

"You always say that and it just means more hours..." Jayce says looking at the time on the clock.

"it's almost ready but you always find a new detail to change, you should take a break, just a little one" he said with some concern putting a hand on Viktor's shoulder.

Viktor by instinct wanted to shrug his hand off, but decided to endure it for a while, he was really getting tired at this point but he didn't want to give in so easily.

"I really can't go to sleep with this only halfway done... it's almost ready, just a couple more minutes and I'll be done with it, I promise"

After saying that, Viktor went back to working on the core, he was so focused that he didn't realize how close he was to Jayce until he accidentally poked him with some wires, causing Jayce let out a small "ow" and rubbed the area slightly.

"Sorry- " viktor said in a distracted tone while arranging the things he had in his hand so as not to poke his partner again in the process.

"You have to be careful you know..I'm right next to you..." Jayce said as he noticed Viktor making some adjustments to the hexcore by raising his arms and leaving his sides somewhat exposed.

When he noticed this detail, a mischievous smirk was drawn on Jayce's face, and without thinking too much of the consequences, he started to lightly poke Viktor in the sides, trying to make him stop working for a moment

Viktor was so focused on his work that when Jayce poked his sides he almost dropped his tools, he looked at him a little angry and confused.

"Jayce...! What the-" he complained in a slightly annoyed voice, but that only made the taller one continue poking his sides and abdomen.

Viktor tried to stay focused, but it was impossible, the tickles made him drop his work and try to push Jayce's hands away from him.

"C-Cuhuhut it out!" he said while he tried to suppress the laughter in his voice.

Viktor was still trying to move away and continue working but it was practically impossible when Jayce kept poking him, so he finally gave up on his invention and decided to stop him by grabbing his wrists.

"Okay! Fihihine! Just stop it already..." he give up trying to sound serious but there was a hint of annoyance and even a little laugh in his voice, Although Jayce was too entertained to stop now.

Jayce continued poking him in the sides for a few more seconds until Viktor grabbed his wrists and told him to stop, but he just looked at him with a victorious smile on his face. It was the first time he had seen Viktor laughing and smiling in a long time.

"...You almost never take breaks, I just wanted to make you forget about the inventions and your tiredness, and have a little fun....maybe you should smile more often you know...?"

he said in a soft voice but also with a slight teasing tone, Seeing that Viktor was holding his wrists, he sent his hands to Viktor's armpits.

Viktor almost yelps from the sudden contact, he quickly lets go of Jayce's wrists and tries to move away.

"Ah- S-stop-! J-Jahahayce...! dohohon't you dare-"

Viktor was trying to move away from Jayce's hands, letting out nervous giggles as he was too ticklish to endure it, he also hated the fact that Jayce was stronger than him, which made it difficult for him to escape at the moment.

Jayce, on the other hand, seemed like a little kid who had discovered a new game, he kept tickling Viktor and wouldn't stop, so viktor just started pushing him away.

"J-Jayce! Hahaha...! for god's sake- S-stohohop it! I'm t-tehelling yohohou...!"

Viktor kept giggling and trying to get away from his partner,he was practically trapped on his seat, he grabbed his cane from his side and without thinking much he hit Jayce on the chin.

Jayce was completely entertained with the situation he had created, until Viktor hit him in the chin with his cane, he stopped tickling him and slowly rubbed the area that was now a bit sore from the blow, however he still kept a smile on his face even after what had happened..

"Ouch... Viktor...!" He said that in a slight complaining tone but at the same still with an entertained smile, since he had never seen Viktor like that...

Meanwhile viktor was panting out of breath, that little tickle attack left him breathless.

"You absolutely deserved it... I told y-you to st-stop but you d-didn't..."

he said in a bit of a snarky tone while glaring at him slightly it was still evident by how much he was breathing and the slight red color on his cheeks.

Viktor quickly grabbed his cane and stood up from his seat, he still looked a little red and his clothes were somewhat messy, he look at the work table where he had his invention, then at the clock, then he stared a little bit at Jayce, he had an annoyed and slightly embarrassed look while his cane was making a very loud noise on the floor every time he took a step.

"Fine, you win, I'll go rest" he grumbled and started walking away to ther door of the lab.

Jayce look at him as he walked away, he still wasn't sure why he started tickling Viktor like that, but he definitely found it a little entertaining to see Viktor laughing and smiling, even if that smile was only there for a few seconds.

"Oh wait, Viktor-..." He got up from where he was sitting and went after him.

Once he caught up with Viktor he called out for him again, now being a little quieter.

"Hey Viktor....uh I'm sorry about earlier...I just thought that you needed a break from working so much, I didn't mean to annoy you." He sounded a little embarrassed and nervous, and it was evident in his eyes as he looked at his partner.

"... It's alright I'm sorry too for hitting you with the cane" viktor kept walking towards the exit of the lab, with a firm grip on his cane.

"still, you should have respected my personal space too" he said but once he reached the door he stopped, he looked back at Jayce for a moment and then looked away

"Well, Goodnight" Viktor finally said about to leave but he adding one more thing.

"Oh and... don't think I won't get revenge for that."

Jayce stopped and looked at the door for a few seconds after hearing Viktor's last threat, and in response he simply let out a small sigh.

"....Oh shit"

[forever-once-gone]

Day 8: Taehyung - He Brings You A Gift, and a Smaller One for Your Baby Too

Part of the Love, Amour, Aur Pyaar drabble series for February! (lol)

Word count: 1.2k

Content and Warnings: gn! reader, husband!Taehyung, married au, parents au, just a lot of sweetness, your baby is cute too, not much else I guess

Author's Note: Another one for today cause I'm feeling nice lol. Let me know if you'd like me to post more. I mean, even if you don't I probably still will eventually, just may take me another few months lol.

You expected to wake up to your baby crying or at the very least babbling in his crib. That is how it’d been for the last odd months. Constantly waking up to baby cries and noises, leading to either you or your husband to get up and tend to him while the other tried to get a couple more minutes of shut eye.

But this time was different. You woke up to quiet. Complete and utter silence.

It took you a few seconds for you to realize that this was not normal. Not frequent for the past few months for you to wake up to dead quiet. But then you considered the fact that your husband wasn’t in bed with you either, and though (with a glance at your nightside clock ) it was still relatively early in the morning, Tae had probably taken the little guy downstairs to let you sleep. Still, you rose up from your bed for a second to confirm the crib was empty before reassuring yourself that everything was fine.

You took a couple minutes to cuddle back into bed, enjoying the subtle sunshine peeking out of the curtains. But despite the kind gesture, you couldn’t rest knowing that Taehyung was dealing with your baby all by himself for who knows how long. You knew Tae would yell at you to stay in bed longer, to rest, but you just couldn’t.

So you quickly freshened up in the bathroom before making your way down the stairs. Faintly, underneath the sound of the stairs’ creaks, you could hear your husband humming to his baby. You could hear short moments when he’d sing words aloud before switching back to humming once again.

Only when you reached the bottom step did Taehyung seem to notice that you had woken up, because that’s when his head whipped around to look at you over the back of the couch. The two of them looked too cute together in their night clothes.

His look of surprise settled quickly into a fond smile, shifting to look at you better as you made your way behind the couch. When you stood over him, peering down at him and your baby did he speak. “Good morning, baby.”

You pressed a kiss to his forehead with a hand against the back of his head before bending over the couch to press a kiss to the baby’s head as well. Tae had to raise him up so you could reach him without too much strain. “Good morning, cuties,” you replied, as you straightened back out, before circling the couch to sit down beside the two of them.

“How long have you two been up?” you asked as you rested your head on Tae’s shoulder, poking at your baby as he babbled happily up at you.

“Not too long.” Taehyung cradled the baby even closer to his chest.

You hummed affirmation. “Thank you for letting me sleep in again.”

“Like you even need to thank me, baby.”

“No, but still.”

Taehyung just wrapped his arm around you, pulling the both of you closer to him. “Well then it was my pleasure. Right honey?” he asked the baby. “It was a pleasure to be with appa for the morning?”

Your baby crinkled his nose happily in response with a sweet little smile and gurgle.

“You loved it with appa, huh?” you continued just for the little guy to screech in happiness which made the both of you laugh quietly before all three of you settled back into quiet.

The three of you sat there for a few minutes, basking in the warmth of domesticity. Glad to be able to spend the wee hours of the morning with the people you loved the most. What a simple but full moment.

“So…” you began. “You gonna tell me why the baby’s car seat is out?”

Taehyung tensed up beside you for a second before relaxing once again. “No reason.”

“No reason?”

“Nope.”

“Hmm… okay. Let’s ask the babe.” You picked the baby up from Tae’s hands and held him up in front of your face. “Did appa do something he shouldn’t have? Did he make plans to take us out today even though he knows all I wanted to do today was still home?”

Your baby didn’t snitch on his father, instead he began to grab at your face, pulling on your nose and attempting to poke out your eyes. 

“Wow, such an appa’s boy you are!” you teased as you settled him into your lap. He was sat with his back against your bent legs. The baby only screeched in response, trying again to grab at your face.

“Yes he is,” Tae bragged with a large smile. “You are, aren’t you?” Tae began to poke at his tummy, making him laugh again.

“But seriously, baby, if you planned to go out today, I really can’t. I’m too tired and just want to stay home.”

Taehyung just kissed your temple in response. “I know, baby. I know.”

He unwrapped you from his arms before jumping up from the couch with newfound energy.

“Tae?” you questioned.

“I’ll be right back!” He answered unhelpfully.

You began to protest only to hear the garage door open and close before you could manage even one world.

You got up from your seat to go see what the commotion was all about with the baby still cradled in your arms.

“What is your appa up to today, honey?”

The baby again didn’t snitch on his father.

What a traitor.

“Tae?” you asked, opening the garage door only for Tae to already be standing right behind it making you jump.

He stood there in his fuzzy slippers and large nightclothes smiling at you just a bit too wide for such an early morning.

“Surprise!” He pulled his hands out from behind his back to reveal two bouquets of flowers. One large one with a mix of white lilies and tiny daisies, and an identical smaller one. “Flowers for my two most favourite people in the world!”

“Oh baby, I love them!” You grabbed both of the bouquets with one hand the best you could. “We’ll have to do a mini photoshoot of the baby with the bouquet, don’t you think?”

Tae’s eyes glimmered with excitement. “That’d be too cute!” He began to walk past you towards the stairs as he rambled about how he had the perfect outfit to match the flowers.

But with Tae out of the way, you noticed a box sitting pretty on the hood of the car in the garage.

“Tae? Are you forgetting something?”

He turned back at you with furrowed brows, before he noticed your head nod towards the open garage door. A lightbulb went off before he was racing back to you.

“Oh right! I got you those pains au chocolat that you love this morning too!” He rushed to grab the box from the garage before running back into the house again. Whispering mischievously to you as he passed, “still warm! Hope you’re hungry.”

You bumped the garage door closed after him, before following the sound of his plans for dressing up the baby after the two of you had your breakfast. All you could do was hold your baby and flowers close as you hobbled after your loving husband, thanking the universe for blessing you so.

Aren't they so cute?

[kangshxrtie]

56 . secret service

prev . main

"why does this look like an intervention?" chaeyeon asked as you walked into the room, raising an eyebrow at the spectacle in front of her.

"i told y'all not to show up like this," you groaned, eyeing nien, kaede, and yeonji, who were all dressed like they were apart of the secret service.

the four of you had agreed to use yeonji's dorm study room for some privacy, but clearly, the rest of the group had turned this into a production.

"we wanted to set the tone for a serious conversation," nien said matter-of-factly, adjusting her sunglasses.

"looking the most unserious possible?" you shot back, gesturing to her outfit.

"i'd take us seriously," yeonji said, arms crossed like she was guarding the door.

"you're all unhinged," you muttered, throwing yourself onto one of the chairs.

"you love us for it, though," kaede said, smirking as she leaned against the table.

"sometimes," you replied, shooting her a side-eye.

"anyway," chaeyeon cut in, glancing at her phone. "nakyoung's on her way. she did ask why we're having a 'study session' in a random dorm, but don't worry—i told her it was your idea."

"bro, why me?" you groaned, flopping onto the couch as if you could somehow sink into it and disappear. "she's gonna act more delusional now."

"too late now," chaeyeon smirked, leaning against the table. "she's like two minutes away, so maybe practice looking less... scared."

"i am scared," you shot back, sitting up. "this feels like a trap."

"it's not a trap," nien said, adjusting the sunglasses she absolutely didn't need. "we're just here to make sure you don't fold."

"fold? i'm not gonna fold!" you protested, glaring at her.

kaede snorted, leaning against yeonji like they were on a stakeout. "yeah, okay, say that now, but watch her walk in and suddenly you're considering the car kiss again."

"oh my god, i keep telling yall that didn't happen!" you shouted, throwing your head back in frustration.

"we've heard the denial," yeonji said, deadpan.

"i hate it here," you muttered.

"too bad," nien said, looking at the door, "nakyoung's already here. act normal."

before you could even reply, the door creaked open, and nakyoung stepped in cautiously, her eyes scanning the room. she looked a little confused, probably because nien was wearing sunglasses inside, kaede had a clipboard for no reason, and yeonji was straight-up sitting with her arms crossed like a bodyguard.

"uh..." nakyoung blinked, clearly trying to process the scene. "what's going on here? i thought this was a study thing?"

"it is," chaeyeon said smoothly, stepping forward like a spokesperson. "but, you know, they like roleplaying sometimes."

nakyoung's gaze landed on you, her expression softening a little. "hey, y/n. i'm glad to see you here."

"uh, yeah," you said, shifting uncomfortably. "i, uh... thought it'd be a good idea to talk. you know... clear the air."

"oh," she said, a faint smile tugging at her lips. "yeah, i'd like that."

"i think we'll... step out," kaede said, standing and gesturing for the others to follow. "give you guys some privacy."

"finally," you muttered under your breath as they filed out, but not before nien gave you a warning look.

as soon as the door clicked shut, nakyoung sat down across from you, folding her hands on the table. "so... where do we start?"

you swallowed, suddenly very aware of the tension in the room. the casual humor from earlier went away the moment nakyoung sat down.

"i guess we start with... everything," you said, gesturing between the two of you. "i mean, things have been weird, right?"

"that's putting it lightly," nakyoung said with a dry laugh, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "but yeah, weird is a good word for it."

you nodded, fiddling with the hem of your sleeve. "i felt like... really betrayed when you just broke up with me and moved on so fast. i thought all your feelings for me would be gone so i didn't even think dating xinyu would affect you at all, but apparently it did."

nakyoung tilted her head slightly, her expression softening. "i do feel really bad about that, i want you to know that me dating sohyun was literally just me being stupid and if i could go back i would take it all back."

you hesitated, the words caught in your throat. you glanced at the door, half-expecting one of your friends to burst in with their unsolicited commentary, but the room remained silent. it was just you and nakyoung.

"you say that but at the end of the day you still did it," you said finally, your voice quieter. "i chased you around for a whole ass week embarrassing the fuck out of myself while you were apparently starting a whole thing with sohyun and i don't think i can ever fully forgive you for that."

nakyoung blinked, her lips parting slightly in surprise. she stayed quiet for a moment, as if processing what you'd just said. "that's... fair," she said softly. "i just ran into sohyun when we broke up and we got to talking and i fucked up. i don't even know what i was thinking."

you let out a small, humorless laugh. "well that sucks for you."

"i can't even be mad because you're right" she agreed, a small smile breaking through.

"that was mean but..." you paused, searching for the right words. "i want you to give up on me now. i'm not gonna lie if you had decided this a little earlier in my relationship with xinyu i would've taken you back so fast, but you were late."

"we can still be friends though," you said, trying to lighten the mood.

nakyoung gave you a knowing look, "you know that won't work out."

"it was worth a shot," you shrugged.

she smirked, her gaze softening. "but hey, if xinyu ever messes up... remember me."

"trust, i will," you said, trying to keep it light. "i've learned to be very messy lately."

nakyoung chuckled, shaking her head. "good to know."

there was a comfortable silence for a moment before she leaned back in her chair, eyes twinkling. "now that we've cleared talked... can i ask something?"

"sure," you said, already bracing yourself for whatever was coming next.

"why the fuck are they dressed like that? are they practicing for something?" nakyoung's eyes flickered toward the door.

you groaned, burying your face in your hands. "they're just... extra like that."

nakyoung burst into laughter, her warm, genuine laugh filling the room. for the first time in a while, it felt like things were starting to get back to normal between you again. you would miss her, but at least you had xinyu now.

main . nxt

taglist ༒ @gtfoiydlyj @inybits @baewonlove @yeetaberry127 @sananapotter @happyjuhyun @nicstumblur @museujin @urmom2314 @yunalvrrr @jeindall777 @saysirhc @idleyuri @yerimbrit @sixflame438 @artrizzler19 @peranoo @motoprincessella

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

Ahh gotta ask for more of this

🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️

I don't remember if you've mentioned how long you'll think it'll be, is a shorter one or a longfic?

Thanks💕💕 💋

Awesome! And I think it's just going to be a longer-ish one-shot. Like 15-20k? Idk! I'm at about 5k rn.

120 or 1k - whatever I reach first:

---

“Yes!” Eddie exclaims. Potentially unwisely but he’s unable to assess long term repercussions right now. “Yes, yes. Just like you. And… And I get why you haven’t told anyone here.”

Buck’s eyes widen. “I couldn’t! No one would believe me!”

Eddie frowns. Well, okay. He’s not that stealthy, if that’s what he thinks. Eddie figured it out. 

“Well, they might…” Eddie says carefully. “But I get it. Not a lot of people know about me either.”

Buck considers this. “But you’re from El Paso?”

Eddie raises an eyebrow. “Uh, yeah? We’re everywhere, man.”

“Even inland?” Buck asks. 

What the hell? Is he like, against the South? There are queer people everywhere! The west coast and, like, New York, aren’t the only place with trans people. Also, Texas has coastline. Even if El Paso doesn’t…

“Yes, even inland,” Eddie replies. 

“Wow,” Buck exhales. “When did it happen? How?” 

What? What does he mean how? Same way it happened to him, presumably?

“Dude,” Eddie says. “I think you’re really high right now.”

Buck blinks. “I am. I am really high.”

“We should… Maybe we can talk about this sober,” Eddie suggests. 

“Yes!” Buck agrees. “Yes, I want to.”

Eddie smiles. “Okay. Grreat. That’s… That’s great.”

“Can I… There’s a beach! Can we talk at the beach? You know, privately?”

The beach? Why does he want to go to a beach? Is that a normal place to talk? He’d think, like, one of their places… A coffee shop? A park? Eddie can’t say he’s a big fan of the beach. Not that he’s spent much time at one, but… Well, he doesn’t imagine it’s a super comfy experience for him.  

“Uh, okay. Sure. If that’s what you want,” Eddie replies. 

“Yes! Please, I’m so excited, Eddie. I’ve never met anyone else like me,” Buck beams. 

“Never?” Eddie gapes. 

“No,” Buck confirms. “Why? Are there a lot of us?”

Buck is so fucked up right now. Damn.

“Yes,” Eddie replies. “Especially in L.A.”

“Oh! Is that why you moved here?” Buck asks.

“It was a factor, yeah.”

“Wow. Okay, wow,” Buck is grinning. “I’m so happy.” 

Eddie smiles. He might have too much LSD in his system to feel the requisite fear for what he’s just done, but he’s happy too. He thinks it’ll be really good to have a friend he can fully be himself around. 

🌻

Buck texts Eddie the next morning. Sends him a location. Not even an address. A latitude longitude location. It’s a small, rocky stretch of beach with road access between Los Angeles in Malibu. Strange, Eddie thinks. There are so many nicer options. Eddie wonders if, like himself, Buck is just nervous. Wants somewhere quiet. Again, one of their homes would have worked. 

When he parks the truck at their agreed upon meet-up time, Eddie knows Buck is already there. The Jeep is parked, but he’s not inside. He must already be down by the water. Alright. Whatever. 

Eddie gets out of the truck and heads down a wooden stair accessway. He sees Buck at the bottom, standing near the water, barefooted and just far enough away from the edge of the water to avoid getting wet from incoming waves. He’s wearing swim shorts and a tank top. Oh god. Buck doesn’t think they’re going swimming, does he? Eddie is really not okay with that. 

His hands are shaking by the time he makes it to the stony, uneven surface of the beach. It’s been so long since he’s ever slipped and told anyone. Of his own volition. That person died. And then… And then the next people to find out? They hadn’t wanted Eddie around anymore. So this? This could be a disaster. But it could also be great. He and Buck, they could be really great friends. Eddie thinks he needs that. More than he realized. 

“Buck,” he calls out, stepping awkwardly to avoid discomfort on his feet. There are a lot of fucking rocks. 

Buck turns around, wide grin on his face. “Hey! Eddie, hi!”

“Uh, so why this beach?” Eddie asks.

“It’s super private, for one,” Buck says. “Out of the way.”

“You’re afraid of being seen,” Eddie says. 

“Yeah, aren’t you?” Buck frowns. “I mean, I’ve tried to be so careful.”

“I don’t think anything about this is going to out us, Buck,” Eddie says quietly.

“Right, because it’s a quiet beach!” Buck grins. “You ready?”

Eddie blinks. “Ready to… Talk?” 

“Well, yeah. Talk,” Buck says, final word said with air quotes. 

Why the air quotes? 

[sweetmariihs2]

A rant about girlhood, autism and growing up: feeling like you didn't grew up enough.

I grew up and I still love childish things. I love dolls, I love cartoons, I love girlish music and clothing, I love fictional characters, and overall I love the overall girlhood experience. But it's not the "I've grown up and I'm trying to get back to it" kind of thing that we always see on social media, what I mean is that I never really grew up. The years have passed since I was a little girl and I still love Barbie and Disney, but not as in a way like "I'm an adult, I consume adult content, and every now and then I watch some animated films, I admit that I like them, but I still live a more mature life", but rather "I never stopped being who I was as a child". All my tastes are still the same. I don't balance mature TV shows/content with cartoons, I only watch cartoons... most of the time.

I'm going through a transition phase now into adulthood... high school is about to end and everyone around me seems to have matured more than I have, even the girls who are known for listening to Lana Del Rey and wearing Coquette fashion, which is a group I fit in with very well too. Apart from the girls who are practically adults (and who already have a romantic and financial life, speak in a mature way, and are already considered women) I also feel more immature than the girls I identify with the most due to them liking "immature" things.

I feel mature enough to think and make responsible decisions; I have a lot of emotional maturity and people tell me that I give great advice. But at the same time, on the other hand, I run to my room full of objects from my childhood and spend some time reading, talking, and listening to music about characters from media that are mostly made for children.

One good thing about still loving the exact same things you loved as a child is that you will always have the same things from when you were little today, and you won't get tired of them. The bad thing, however, is that I feel weird about not "growing up." I guess liking these things is a part of me, but at the same time I can't help but feel like the gap between my childhood and adulthood is sometimes too small. I hear people talking about growing up, talking about the infantilization of my generation, I see others who used to be like me now being very different and it's a natural process... but is it infantilization even when I'm just being myself? What would be "infantilization" about my tastes in the eyes of others that to me are just part of who I am as a person? I don't see myself not liking my favorite genre of movies, clothes, music, art, just because I decided to "cure" myself from a supposed "infantilization". I do wonder if I'm unwell for loving the stuff that I love... but it's in a "am I ill for being who I am?" kind of way. It must be awful supressing what is in your heart because people see it as an illness.

I am responsible with my words and behavior and I often see "mature" people making decisions that to me are immature, like being impulsive. It's like I'm somewhere in between maturity and childishness and I get pushed back and forth by people on both sides of the way; I don't fit in with either one, but sometimes I do, for a short period of time until I get pushed back to the other side again. Too mature for children and too childish for adults.

I constantly feel nostalgic about things I used to like, and I feel like the line between past and current tastes is very thin at this point in my life. It confuses me and I think about people's words about growing up, but how can I grow up if I'm already mature and that's who I am? When I was a child I expected to grow up and turn into an adult adult, like if this would just happen naturally. Now I grew up and turned into an adult version of the tiny version of myself. Still and adult, still me, but not normal enough for others, apparently. Sometimes I feel melancholic because as a child I was free to like the things that I still love today without any judgement... well, sometimes. Let's not talk about bullying.

I watch Toy Story, I sometimes feel the urge to play with my toys, I feel like carrying them around with me like a child, but I fight the urge not to do it because I have to adapt - or rather, be an adult.

The fact that I'm autistic (I was diagnosed at the beginning of the year) also probably plays a big role in this, which is another situation that I've been balancing throughout all these years, as I was very normal for the weirdos and too weird for the normals, making me not fit into any of these boxes and consequently just being excluded from social groups for being too weird and being deprived of possible support and inclusion for being too normal. The fact that I hyperfocus on "childish" topics says a lot about my life and the media I consume, because suddenly my mind is completely occupied with things like Sofia The First, and I externalize this a lot. I collect children's magazines of this show, I want to have the toys, I want to dress the toys in clothes. It's normalized on the Internet for people to be from fandoms considered childish, the problem is that I'm often seen as childish even by them. Making a friend who likes The Amazing Digital Circus and having to explain to them that I'm genuinely very passionate about Sofia The First always provokes laughter and I have to laugh too and imitate a "hear me out" behavior in order to be socially accepted. "You shouldn't adapt to please others! Be yourself!" Unfortunately, this is how it is to be yourself in today's world, using tactics to remain true to yourself while acting like it's no big deal until that friend gets used to you like this.

Being an artist is also something that seems to be involved. I like animations to dissect the characters and understand the artistic choices in the writing, design, soundtrack. I don't just like a character or a work, I open it up and analyze every aspect because I love art. When I get a doll in my hands I look at its proportions, design, color palette, I know its backstories, fears and character development within the work they were in. I genuinely love listening to Disney songs, Barbie songs, My Little Pony, and even cringy anime rap... The fact that I am an artist and hyper-focus on animations and love having collectibles (mostly toys, since they are programs for children)...

You know that scene in Toy Story 2 where we see Jessie's owner, Emily, grows up and left her childhood behind, and in the end she gives Jessie away with her toy collection? I feel like I'm an Emily who grew up and kept loving horses and Jessie. I grew up, but I'm still the way I am, and even though I like that, questioning it makes me a little dysmorphic...

People talk about it like it's a defect, and point fingers to other who do the same to say that they're infantilizing themselves. To a point that when I go to the mirror and when I see myself I wonder how did I grew up so quick. I wonder if the problem is my body growing too fast or my maturing process being too slow. But I matured, I think mature, I just love childish stuff, and this makes me overwhelmed. I want to be who I am but being who I am makes me confused and insecure. "Am I doing the right thing by... being myself?" "Am I mentally ill for staying like this, acting like a child even though I'm a grown up?" "Do I even act like a child? I know that I don't, that's not it." Could my desire to be able to carry a toy around with me be related to autistic people having stuffed animals/objects to regulate themselves?

Sometimes I feel the urge to put a doll in my bag and carry her with me throughout my whole day, touch and admire her closely when bored, look at the fabric, paint and sculpt and then have fun taking pics of her doing different activities just seems so nice. I sometimes wanna have awkward conversations and talk about my silly little cartoons like I'm a child talking with not so many social norms like adults usually do. I wanna sit and watch my favorite genre of media, animation, without being whispered about or laugh at; and by that I don't mean someone who watches cartoons sometimes, I mean someone who only sees that stuff. I want to dress up like a princess and make tea parties because I love the simplicity and innocence about those things. Gosh, I'm even waiting for my little cousin to grow up just little a bit more for her to be able to play with dolls with me, cuz I want to go back with playing with them and there is not even a single living soul in my whole social circle that wouldn't judge me if spoke about this!!!

I feel like I'm a little girl in an adult body sometimes, but I do feel like an adult too. I don't understand if I'm like this because I'm autistic, I'm an artist, or if I'm doing something wrong, like infantilizing myself. I don't behave like a child, and I don't do anything for anyone, I enjoy my tastes for myself! The feminine urge of being confused and happy about yourself at the same time. It's a real struggle.

[justchillandshipit]

I've Been Trying to Make Sense of Eddie's Story in My Head.

There are several intersecting points that have me thinking. In different seasons, we have heard different stories about Eddie and his feelings for Shannon. We have heard that he met her when he was a kid, and they lost touch and later reconnected. (No problem here.)

Eddie also says his relationship with Shannon was like magic. He says this to Bobby in Season Six when he is trying to get back on the dating scene.

We also hear from him that he married Shannon because she was pregnant, but he didn't regret it. (I believe this was after he said it was like magic. It contradicts the previous comment but also tracks with a gay Eddie storyline. He lived in TX in a very comphet part of the country. FYI. They still, to this day, have conversion camps in Texas. So it is plausible that by marrying her, he was conforming to the expectations of his parents and his immediate social sphere.)

We learned that Eddie had questions for Shannon that he never got to ask. Like why didn't he get a letter when she left? He describes her dying as leaving him broken, and that is just his life now. (This doesn't sound like a person who felt love in the form of friendship. He has described himself as broken a couple of times though and this does remind us of what Athena's ex Michael said about himself as he was coming out. He thought Athena could fix him. So I'm unclear if Shannon made him feel like he was normal, and with her dead, he doesn't feel like he can feel normal again. This would be consistent with gay Eddie too.)

However, when Kim asks him if Shannon was the love of his life, he says he thinks so. We can zero in on the "think" part of that comment but in this show, characters use the word "think" an excessive amount. Most commonly, when someone asks, "Are you alright?" Someone will reply, "I think so. Yeah." (It is not a direct contradiction to his previous comment because he also adds that he didn't realize it at the time, but the whole thing is just confusing, and it ignores the fact that she had asked for a divorce. It ignores the fact that she felt there was something wrong in their marriage, and she didn't necessarily think it was Eddie because she talked about learning how to be a good mother and then figuring out how to be a good wife. I thought that was odd on her part. No one learns how to be a good mother before being a wife. Being a Mom is on-the-job training, and if necessary, there is some therapy to help. It doesn't happen before learning how to be a wife.)

Bringing us to this season, Eddie is saying things like he doesn't deserve to be forgiven. (For what exactly? For dating Kim? For hurting Chris? He didn't sleep with Kim. There was an alternate scene where they kissed, but that never aired, so the only thing Chris and Marisole walked in on was them hugging. Eddie broke things off with Kim. She came to the house and pushed the situation. Even so, Chris is understandably hurt and Eddie does feel guilty. I can understand that guilt, but not to the degree that he doesn't deserve to be forgiven for it or experience joy. Not when he had broken it off.) Eddie says he doesn't deserve joy. (Again, this seems overkill for what happened with Kim when all things are considered. Guilt is understandable, but not to this degree. He grew the mustache as a mask. He was afraid of seeing a failure in the mirror. (A failure at what exactly? Being a father? Being a husband?) There is a lot of meta on this being code for gay Eddie. The problem here is that at some point if Eddie is coming out, people who can understand subtext and gay coding should not be the only people aware of this possibility. The general audience doesn't know crap about gay coding, and that is one of the reasons I don't like the way the storytelling is going at the moment. If they intend to bring Eddie out in a way that is understandable to everyone something more than coding is needed. There needs to be something solid and not subtextual, so everyone can follow along with the journey he is on. The audience needs to see or know what he is thinking even if Eddie isn't out of the closet to the people in his life. The audience should know the struggle. As it stands, the only people paying attention are us Buddie shippers. (For the general audience, his struggles appear to truly be about Shannon. If Eddie comes out, they are going to think it's out of nowhere. ) I think clarification of these contradictions would help.

[plusvanity]

In one of your ask answers from September you wrote: ''I am a bit reluctant to say what I really think of Faust''. I skimmed over other answers as well but you never really spoke on this matter or about him (concerning this) again. Perhaps it's going to be an empty ask because you're still not comfortable elaboring your views on this - which I accept naturally - but I'm just way too curious to not shoot my shot: what do you REALLY think about Faust?

I personally do not have much going on opinion wise when it comes to him, he seems loyal to Øystein's memory (visiting his grave often, speaking highly of him always, keeping his legacy alive and over all being full of admiration for him, which is understandable since Ø could count as his role model, in a way) which is nice considering how people from the BM scene try to paint Ø, stuffing their mouths with his name just for views and/or turning their backs on him after his death ; but I am also aware of the crime he commited and as far as I recall, he never really spoke about it? Which is also why many people despise him (which is normal, absolutely not trying to imply that 'talking about it' would solve the problem!) the double amount, for example you can see it here: https://www.reddit.com/r/rabm/comments/mz7s97/the_lgbt_heavy_metal_podcast_24_emperor/. Anyway, I'm more interested right now if your opinion, if you'd like to share. Thanks!

There are many reasons why I'm reticent in saying what I truly believe about Faust, but I will try to express it in the gentlest way possible. My opinion is not something colossal as there isn't much information available on the subject, but it's definitely a radical one.

I see lately that more and more people have a tendency to make opinions about certain problematic black metal individuals that are 'Øystein approved or disapproved'. In this case, I can easily include Faust. I see people willing to downplay the gruesome and intentional murder that he committed for the simple fact that he was one of Øystein's loyal 'students', so to speak. So, my question for those is:

Does the simple fact that Faust spoke honorably about his mentor make him less of a bad person for taking the life of a man? The most rational answer is no.

I see many people believing blindly that Faust is truly remorseful and that he learned his lesson in prison, and my question about this is: How can you be so sure? Just because he is out now, talking about how he messed up because he was a kid and how much he changed since then doesn't mean that he means his words. Anyone can say anything. You don't know if it's real unless you know that person personally, and even so, he went to prison for first degree murder. I don't think it's far-fetched to doubt his words. Once you're some kind of celebrity, you need to keep your PR good. And if you don't think that everything in this world is business, then you don't really know how the world works, and I apologize for sounding rude.

No one can prove or disprove that his mentality (not action) changed.

It is very expectantly for him to try to clean his image and redirect the attention to other subjects like talking positively about Øystein. I don't say he is not respectful and he doesn't carry on Øystein's legacy, but I'm saying that it's wise to be aware who says what and what might be the reason behind it. There are other people that I'm more inclined to believe their feelings towards Øystein and loyalty are more authentic, like Mortiis for example. This is just my opinion, I encourage everyone to think for themselves.

Maybe I'm too harsh on him and I don't give him many chances, but he is a criminal after all, and I don't minimize this aspect. He didn't kill in self defense, he talked in interviews about 'stomping' on the victim's head, and this is cruelty. Do people think this cruelty somehow goes away over time? It never does. You're either born with it or you learned it. That's not PlusVanity being bitter about what can be changed in people. That's a well-known psychological fact. He is in the ASPD spectrum towards the high end, that's no speculation.

The time spent in prison is the equivalent of a joke because of the Norwegian system. You're basically living like in a hotel there, painting and doing crafts, playing basketball with the guards, living a long vacation. There is little to nothing that a troubled individual can learn and self-reflect in such conditions. I'm not saying that more violent habits are the answer for behavioral change as I strongly believe that violence is primitive and unnecessary, but the only way in which someone can get an insight on themselves is by feeling the equivalent consequences of what they've done.

People question if he killed a man because his victim was homosexual or he if simply killed just to feel how it is like. Both options make Faust just as much of an asshole because he took somebody's life intentionally. When asked about his opinion on homosexuals, he answered: 'Basically I don't care about them (as long as they keep it to their own people), but... what can I say... they are nice to put knives into..' In another interview he describes luring that man to the spot in which he committed the crime. There's always the element of shock-value in the black metal scene, but I tend to believe his words back then were a bit more genuine than what he insists on now because, to be fair, who wouldn't want to clean his image after something like this? Especially because he is still relevant in the scene.

Of course that his peers accepted right back like 'hey, bro! nice to see you again' and many people forgot his dark past because he's famous (to a certain degree). Is he a perfectly good guy now just because he says he is? When talking about antisocial behavior, somebody who did this can always do it again. They have it in them.

To sum it up, from a moral perspective, I don't like Faust and I'm not easily impressed by his post-prison statements because of the gravity of his act. Should he be forgiven or cancelled is not something I will comment about. There is no way to verify what's in his head and talking more about it is simply rambling.

From a musical perspective, he's a good drummer.

That's all I can say.

[arcane-ish]

I have my issues with season 2 and how Vi's story went is a huge part of it (so much I wrote an entire meta just about how bad Act 3 was for her). But I find his answer fairly understandable.

"this is a story of 2 sisters"

Just because Vi wasn't the lead anymore doesn't mean the wasn't about the sisters. You can just as much read it "season 1 was the story from Vi's point of view and season 2 is it from Jinx's pov". I would read season 2 as being very much about Jinx wrestling with her relatioship with Vi and making a decision about it.

Like it’s your fucking JOB to service and write these characters to the best of your ability

That is just an odd complaint to me. Starting with: how do you know that that isn't the best of ability? Considering that he had never run a tv show before?

And I don't see how that somehow includes the mandate to never be allowed to change main characters or tell more than one story? He's allowed to love multiple characters and tell multiple stories.

If he just genuinely happens to be passionate about multiple characters why wouldn't he try to bring it all into a tv show. Especially if you read some of his other statements, he is deeply commited to the idea of doing the League of Legends experience justice where there are over 100 "main characters" and every fan group of an individual character would love to see "their" main as a lead.

It's just a normal League thing to me that you have a handful of "mains" who you all love (the way League is structured as a game usually forces you to play more than one character) and that's kind of how he reads to me.

To be honest, I genuinely blame Amanda here at least as much as him if not more. Amanda is the one who has genuine tv experience and who advertises herself as the big ViCait champion and she should have been aware that Vi not having a true status within season 2 and particularly in the finale also slightly dulls Vi and Cait as a couple. (my take: if the show was going to remove us from Vi's shoes compared to what we had in season 1, then she at least needed some wins to compensate)

IMO it is possible the gracefully go from lead character to supporting character. The problem is that even as a supporting character you need at least a an arc or a clear plan or a payoff.

You can have good and decent and appealing stories despite being a supporting character (even though the Mel fans will disagree, I think Mel is an example, as is Ekko, we can debate whether Jayce was supporting or lead. Heck even clear supporting characters like Heimerdinger or Isha whose job it was to go towards their own heroic sacrifice still had a clear progression)

I love her as a character outside of her relationship with Jinx and Caitlyn, however we didn’t get to see that this season.

I don't think the problem was that we didn't see her outside of her relationship with Jinx or Caitlyn. It's that the writers 1.) weren't really able to tie it all together as a whole. 2.) that Vi lacked agency in her relationships with Jinx and Caitlyn in many ways.

(I mean did we really see that much more of "Vi in relationships outside of Jinx and Caitlyn in season 1?" I guess you can say she Mylo/Claggor and Ekko? But in the end she was deeply defined by her relationship with Jinx in season 1 as well as her blooming relationship with Caitlyn. And we see many examples of other characters within the show who can pull off a satisfying arc despite a much smaller set of important character relationships than Vi had in season 2)

I just wanna ask him then why make vi main character!?

I can't read his mind but my assumption would be because he likes her too (as one of many) AND presumably he thought she would be a really good character to initially introduce us to the world?

I'm not saying that he doesn't have many flawed approached (I have ranted extensively at what I perceive to be as the "vignette" structure of season 2). But I can totally see why one might for example really love Jinx as a character, but think she isn't the best character to start the story with or to spend the entire season in her point of view.

Season 1 played A LOT with the idea of perception and then underminding it. And similarly they might have seen it as a cool approach to first see Jinx more through the perceptions of others and then switch towards telling her point of view.

(for what it's worth, Jinx interacting less with Vi in the last act to me feels like a consistent choice IF you read season 2 as a story from Jinx's point of view AND that it's heavily about her decision to split from Vi/to let Vi go. Within Jinx's stoy she actually still interacts quite a bit with Vi, I'd argue (it's more a problem that within the finale battle the Caitlyn versus Ambessa stuff gets a ton of room and basically doesn't tie back at all with either Vi or Jinx))

Christian has said a lot of things that makes me want to tear my hair out with how stupid I think it is. But imo this (in essence "well we love multiple characters and we wanted to tell those stories too") is imo a very human and relatable answer especially if you combine it with his other answers about how he and supposedly many other creatives were very desperate to move on after 2 seasons (actual quote: " Even key talent that works on the show that, simply put, is getting tired cranking away at this incredibly long season and project over multiple years. Don't forget that at the end of the day, this is just a collective of human beings, of people.").

(compared to his braggy "I'm proud of our season for pulling off so many varying things ... that nobody asked us to pull off" [=my paraphrasing] statement for example)

Vi season 2

Saying this about Vi, considering the fact that fundamentally the very basis of the show is about the relationship between her and Jinx is INSANE. The description for the show literally tells the audience it’s a story about two sisters and because the writers grew uninterested with one of them, they sidelined her.

I’m happy she got her happy ending, and i do believe that her writing remained consistent, my biggest issue with Vi this season was that she did feel sidelined, THAT was very obvious. I love her as a character outside of her relationship with Jinx and Caitlyn, however we didn’t get to see that this season.

Regardless if the ending stayed the same, Jinx and Vi barely interacting in the last act felt off. It’s really disappointing to see that one of the shows main and most important characters get sidelined in favour of others

anyway yeah there’s my rant bc seeing this shit on twitter has been pissing me off

[caramelteaa]

First meeting

A short one shot frubbo fic set in the owl house/the crow house au

Word count: 721

The usage of portal is highly restricted. Witches and demons don't tend to care about the human realm. And that's okay!

WA02 don't mind studying alone.

--------------------------------------------------

WA02 has never seen the human realm before.

Well, none of his colleagues either.

Considering the portal usage is prohibited, and no one but Mr. [Redacted] has the right to use a portal (maybe his boss has accompanied him before?).

But that's okay. They have access to the Federation's library for study purposes, with their rank and all. In the back rows where the shelves are gathering dust, there's a couple of books and documents either written by past researchers, or materials from the actual human realm, they call it Earth.

So what if he has read all of them dozens of times? It's fascinating how different the human realm seems to be from Quesadilla Island and the entirety of Boiling Isles! Even if the soil seems to be roughly the same, apparently the sky is an array of blue hues, the foliage are green like emeralds instead of red like blood, and the rain isn't boiling nor does the sea cook you alive!

If there ever comes a chance, They would love to see it with their own eyes. A realm that seems more peaceful, painted in cooler tones and flora they can only dream of. But until then, his break is over, duty awaits. WA02 checks out his books at the front desk and puts on their mask, and starts their daily patrol.

--------------------------------------------------

Now, running into someone you know might not always be pleasant, but being run INTO by someone you don't know is PAINFUL. WA02 sits up trying their hardest to remain their composure, would be easier said than done with them covered in dirt and surrounded with scrolls that's not his. They soon find the culprit, currently face deep in......THEIR BOOKS! They snatched back his (borrowed, mind you) belongings, and are face to face with the most brilliant mix of blue, green, and brown.

"WHERE DID YOU GET THESE?!"

"Pardon???"

"NONE OF THE LIBRARIES I'VE EVER BEEN TO HAS THIS MUCH INFO ON THE HUMAN REALM!!!"

"Uhh......"

They start to walk away with their books now safe and sound in his bag. Too bad this stanger seems to not catch on the fact they are working because the boy with a mop of brown hair who almost ran over them is now bombarding them with questions like "How much do you know about the human realm?" and " Why do you have books that's not listed anywhere?" and "Why are you wearing a creepy mask with no face?"

The sudden stop caused the brunette to bump into them(again) and shut him up for a brief moment. WA02 turns around, looking at the boy with pretty eyes expectantly.

"...What? Oh." The brunette said, seems to finally catch on to their outfit.

"You're a guard from the Federation's Coven."

"Yes."

"Is that why you have those books and scrolls?"

"......Classified"

"That's not a no, bossman."

"......" WA02 turns back around.

"WAIT WAIT WAIT! Do you like the human realm? Not that you have ever been here since no one can, but do you though? I love it since they seems to have amazing technology and and the-"

They sighed, rather loudly for them.

"What can I do to make you leave me to my work?"

"Can I borrow your books?" He wastes no time, huh.

"No."

"Can I steal your books?"

"No."

"Can I read them under your supervision?"

"......Fine." WA02 really doesn't want to wrangle some guy who just announced wanting to steal his borrowed books.

"REALLY?" The brunette said, with sparks in his eyes.

"I'm busy for the rest of the weekdays so it has to be Sunday night, past 6 pm."

"IT'S A DEAL! We'll meet back here, and if you don't show up I'll track you down."

The brunette yelled as he ran back to the papers that he never picked up ever since he ran into him and brought both of them to the ground, waving goodbye.

"BETTER BE READY, FREDDY!"

Their name is NOT Freddy. Fred might be an okay name, not that they need a one.

--------------------------------------------------

That night, WA02 returns to their room, exhausted as usual, planting their face into his crisp bed sheets. They think back on the encounter they had with the boy who asks too many questions, with curious glints in his pretty eyes.

WA02 falls asleep dreaming of earthly delights.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Smell Check [Easy: Failure]

MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 1 (part 2 - part 3)

[aurosoul]

me and my bf spent last night in the desert and I discovered I could make art in the sand

[lightningidle]

Fig's line "I don't think I'm an artist, I think I'm just a good friend" has not left my head at all. Just...

You're Fig Faeth and your horns came in over the summer and you pick up the bard class as a form of adolescent rock 'n' roll rebellion, and it works! It's exactly the outlet you need! You give a guy you just met drumsticks and you start a band and it's good enough that within a year and a half you're touring. You are, in every sense, good at being a bard.

And then, finally, your junior year, you start to take it seriously. Your art goes from an outlet and a form of rebellion to a practice. A discipline. (Can rebellion exist within a discipline?) Your classmates know what they want to do with their work. They all have a thesis statement. And yeah, there's cohesion in the music you make, but you've never had to think about why you make it. You've never sat down and dissected what it is about bass that speaks to you. You've never poured over your lyrics to pick at any deeper meaning. Why should you? You don't play music for a grand design, you do it to... huh, why do you do it?

(Your art is the one form of self-expression that feels as safe as Disguise Self does, because even if you're pouring your heart onto the page and then screaming it in front of thousands of people, it's not like you're really making yourself known. You can sing I'm lonely, I'm scared, I'm furious, and your fans will sing it right back, and there will still be the distance between performer and audience to keep your heart safe.)

Now you're being asked to look inward to explain the artistic choices you're making, and you can't help but recoil at that, because you'd rather do anything than look inward. Meanwhile, your classmates have no problem with it, so you start to wonder if you're a real artist at all. Can your art be authentic if it only exists to bolster a thesis statement? Has your art been unauthentic this whole time because you've never really thought about a thesis statement before? Is that what makes it art, and not just the next track on somebody's teen angst playlist?

You can't think about yourself— acknowledging your own existence makes you want to puke. So if your music is an extension of yourself, (and it is, even if it's just because the spotlight reveals only what you want it to,) you can't think about your music. You can't. You have to. Your grade depends on it.

You're Fig Faeth, and you keep multiclassing because you'd rather be a good friend than a great artist. If introspection is what great art demands, then fuck it. You must not be a bard at all.

[themintman]

I am filled with HATE and SORROW y'all know how like Nurm is my favourite character my number 1 guy out of any piexe of media ever I love him dearly which sucks cause he's pretty unpopular but whatever whatever. N I'm like "man I really want to see some new Nurm content but everything I find I've either seen before or I created ☹️" and then I. I go on tiktok and I KEEP seeing edits that start with a clip with Nurm in them and then haha surprise it's actually a Petra edit!! Cause it's ALWAYS PETRA GOD DAMN IT and I love her. I love Petra so much. She is a fabulous character but ohm y god I am tweaking. I genuinely started crying y'all I am not sane nor normal. I'm so normal about him. Oh my good god I am going insane I am 💥💥💥💥