#i don't know why anyone would want to know more about me lol
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mecachrome · 2 days ago
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#i wish it weren't taboo to talk about how 814 are literally just an audhd couple... could discuss this for days. does anyone want to
actually yes i would like nothing more this is lowkey all i think about sometimes
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HLSDKFHLH i was about to publish my own post but now i feel enabled to write a Longer Response 🧡 thank u guys
2 me 814 is Girl who is so classically adhd it's comical (overt hyperfixations + poor executive function + basically arfid + time blindness) coexists beautifully with Misunderstood autistic girl (too straightforward for other people + pretended to be a car as a child + sensory issues through the roof + consciously masking in every interview) while everyone loses their minds because they should Hate Each Other and be at each other's throats??! and yet they don't because their neurodivergent swag transcends petty team politics 💗
like honestly i think they interact easily because they're both weird & particular in their own ways but their priorities are ultimately the same so why would any of that matter you know? and they try to accommodate each other when they're able to even if it's little things like oscar not eating salmon around lando anymore lol 😭 (i say this as audhd guy with extreme sensory issues and many other Problems and Issues... that is in fact romanze to me. also little stuff like the No Name Drop? moment because yes it's small in the grand scheme of things but to me it's special because it's like... THEIR inside joke and oscar is proving he does enjoy it and cares about maintaining it :') and then when lando was feeling down post-race in brazil he pulled out landinho all on his own <3)
like this is so random but i was just rewatching the logan sexed bit earlier and it's so funny how oscar is just like ??? WHAT. and somewhat annoyed at being grilled about it because in his head he's thinking "it's literally just a show title why are you Willfully Misunderstanding me idg why that's so funny to you are you 5." but with lando there's so much less... idk laughing At each other as if there's some big joke one person is missing out on and more just giggling together because oscar thinks every little thing lando says is funny and because they're equally charmed by each other's particularities. like oscar doesn't mind that lando is super fidgety and respects that he has Depths (saying that lando is a mix of sarcastic/dry, excitable, and serious) while lando has joked that oscar is somewhat robotic before but obviously still revels in wheedling genuine reactions out of him :') like you can see from how they get caught up in their little world while in parc fermé or doing their f1 media duties that they're capable of just focusing on Each Other without a care in the world for other people and they aren't talking just to have content for the cameras...
and like again the whole point of f1 is that it's a media circuit that needs overextended drama to survive as a consumable product but in the end neither of them care to sustain these artificial demands because it's just antithetical to their personalities and how their brains operate... their job is literally just car 🏎
also another thing is how people talk about 814 always twinning but what adds even more dimension to it is basically oscar admitting and being conscious of his mirroring lando's expressions 😭 and the fact that he's always choosing him for interview questions/copying his answers during games! like i think it's sooo compelling that oscar unintentionally latched onto lando as a young teenager in the uk and never really strayed from that because you have a very expressive, larger-than-life lando who is prone to being misrepresented because people don't really understand the manifestation of adhd and then level-headed oscar who is also poorly read because he doesn't express himself "conventionally" taking one look at lando and being like Hmmm yes. i'll mold myself after that. and lando being so happy and open to that dynamic 🧡 does it not move u
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boysbeware2 · 1 day ago
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all the old tptm girl journal entries w the new (if anyone wants to see them again and compare them)
please proceed with caution as many of these could be upsetting to read
disposable girl (jordyn)
(old)
i cant fucking stand this. i try so goddamn hard to make friends, to be attractive to people, to be even somewhat appealing to them etc etc. it never works. i thought it would get better the older i get. thats what i was told. guess what! i was fucking lied to!!! im alwasy left out of EVERYTHING i never get invited to shit and my own friends ignore me all the time. everyone looks at me weird. i cant go in public anymore im so fucking terrified of everyone. nobody fuckinf wants me, man. im so close to doing something stupid i feel so gross and ugly and dumb i should actually just die id be doing everyone a favor LOL
(new)
man, i havent been on here in forever. the internet is kind of dumb. what is there to say? my friend group celebrated our outpatient graduation anniversary the other day, that was pretty nice. we’re all trying to figure out housing stuff, nora’s been helping with that. freyja + mayra + kairi found a place already (how are they so responsible??) and the rest of us are trying to find places near them so we can visit more often. i never expected to have such a big group of friends. if you told me 2 years ago that i’d be living like this, i wouldn’t believe you. it’s still surreal to me. i’m not sure what i did to deserve them. same goes for my girlfriends. i don’t wanna say who just yet, we’re still figuring things out, but i’m just so thankful for them. i feel so lucky to have a second chance at life. i really didn’t believe people when they said it would get better, and then it did. how funny…..
irreverent girl (kairi)
(old)
I do not want God to see me anymore. I do not want anymore eyes on me. This is near unbearable. I have no one to turn to. My mother is in the church. Many of my friends are in the church. They would tell me to find hope through Christ. They would tell me to pray to Him. They would tell me that He will save me. He must not remember He made me, and if He does, He simply does not care. I know this is unbecoming of me, and I don't mean to be dramatic. I am simply depressed, nervous, and I cannot tell what's real and what isn't anymore. I know I'm supposed to hear God speaking to me, but I do not, and I am tired of straining my ears. I just want to see a doctor. I want some kind of tangible solution. I do not want to pray anymore. Praying hurts. I only do it when I am afraid, but I am afraid much of the time. I don't want to be unheard anymore. I do not want to hold out hope for someone who does not act like they're there. I am hurting. I am hurting. I am hurting. Belief is hurting me. The idea of God is hurting me. I need an out. I am hurting.
(new)
When I have a job and money and I can move away from my shitty Mormon parents
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splitter girl (tahira)
(old)
theres something so broken in me thats beyond saving. so i dont know why i keep trying to be saved. i meant to kill myself when i was 18. i didnt. all ive wanted to do lately is kill someone or something. i havent. im too much of a pussy to plan anything concrete, no matter how much i hate everyone around me. no matter how much i get off to videos of people dying or how much i love cutting myself i cant actually take action against other people. i am fucking purposeless. i was born from evil and i will always be evil and i cant even live up to that. i hate myself i hate myself i HATE myself and the universe hates me too. i dont know what to fucking do at this point. i talked to one of my friends about wantingto die and they said smthn about hospitalizing myself. maybe. i dunno. i dont know what else there is for me/. my eyes are fucking burning from lookign at my computer for so long adn not getting any goddamn sleep. i am not a good person. i dont think i can be helped but i just dont wanna fucking keep goign to school and being around people and pretending like everything is norma;l. i cant keep doing it. what the fuck is wrong with me whagt happened. why cant i be loved or feel love for other people when did something change in me that switched the aggression and affection parts of my brain. im hyperventilating ill be back. maybe
(new)
getting myself onigiri from this one good boba place 2nite bc im 8 months clean…… its the little things~ ^^
fainéant girl (freyja)
(old)
i know i dont hate being disabled... i just hate being disabled in a society that makes existing difficult... but sometimes i really just dont want to be disabled anymore. i dont want my family to lecture me about how i could be helping out more, or how i should get a job. i dont want teachers to keep asking me whats wrong or the fuckin uni counselor to try to get me hospitalized. i dont want to be in so much pain anymore, to feel so exhausted that i cant even do so much as prepare food for myself, let alone do anything meaningful or fulfilling. its not fair. i shouldnt have to stay inside and sit in the dark all day,. i should be able to have friends. to talk to people and to go out with them and to feel like i am alive. its lonely and traumatic to suffer through this and on top of that no one around me understands, and they never fully will. i am tired of trying to justify my existence to everyone, to explain the pain that i am in and why i shouldnt have to experience it. i know the problem isnt me. i know i live in a world that isnt built for me. but if the world cant change then sometimes i truly feel that i should just stop living in it. my lifespan is already shorter than everyone else's anyways. what difference does it make
(new)
my qpps didnt seem to appreciate me playing Alien Kids Alien Rap for them. Do they even love me
caliber girl (nora)
(old)
唉~It is 3 AM and I should go to sleep but I can’t. I have a work zoom meeting early in the morning and I gotta hit the gym also because I haven’t done leg day in like… weeks. Oh well, it doesn’t even matter. My value is depleting but I don’t think I care anymore. The turnaround date for my code is also in a couple of days and I haven’t made any progress. I keep getting the same error and I’m too tired to figure out what’s wrong. I might get fired at this rate LOL(笑). If that happens, I think I’ll just consider ending it all. Not that anybody will miss me. God I sound so weak and pathetic right now. When did it get like this. How did it get like this. I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’ve been through worse before and this is nothing. Ugh, why is it so hard to breathe? My chest hurts and I feel like something is wrong but I don’t know how to make it go away. Should I call someone about this? No. No one is awake or around to help. I’ll be fine. I’ll just sleep it off. Shake it off… shake it off…
(new)
My Tamagotchi beeped during a meeting fml
chocolate box girl (morgan)
(old)
i thought i was doing better but i cant stop thinking about them. their touch, their interests, their smile, everything. the worst part is that i miss them, after all of what they've done to me. i was 13. i dont even feel justified calling it rape since our relationship was so muddy... they never yelled at me or was angry at me, they just got so sad when i tried to speak my mind, and got all my friends to hate me when we finally broke up. i never said no so i feel like im insulting actual survivors by feeling violated. i wasnt even trying to get into a relationship with them, it just happened... i feel like everyone around me wants me in the same way they did, even though im an adult now and i dont even try to make myself appealing. i wish i could trust people not to take advantage of me, and i feel disgusting and selfish for feeling like everyone has ulterior motives of getting me to fall in love with them, or worse. that's so self centered of me. i dont know how long i can keep doing this
(new)
girl help i cant stop looking at anime figures on japan yahoo auctions !!!!!
taxidermy girl (mayra)
(old)
I don't remember ever not having a sex drive, is that normal ? I was born and then it was all downhill from there, something happened to me sexually i think, I don't know what happened, because I don't remember much, but something happened and I was beaten for it and yelled at and my mother hated me, and now I am an adult and I try to have sex, and I'm not there mentally, even if my body is participating, I feel like I am in the past again, being beaten and yelled at . I want to keep trying, I want to have fun, to feel safe in someone else's arms, to reach the heights of pleasure, but my mind scares me so much, I haven't been able to eat anything today because I feel so horrified by my body . If I was good I would have been born as a nonsexual being, no parts, no desires, no instincts, a blank slate, too empty to be enjoyed . Do you know what it feels like, to have your mother tell you people want to sexually abuse you when you are a child, and then to be made fun of by your peers for being so ugly, to have your middle school and high school classmates joke about how much they don't want to have sex with you ? I am illicit and undesirable at the same time, I am everyone's last option, I am nothing and still too much, rotting deer meat on the side of the road . I wish I had been born as something beautiful and pure, I wish I could start over, that whatever that initial sin was had never been committed .. I want to start over
(new)
Went to a kink event the other night and everyone was so nice … The low lights were fucking with my vision so one of the hosts helped me navigate the place . I ❤️ you random disabled ally with a pup mask on
chemical girl (joy)
(old)
LMAOOOOO im too angry and miserable to be around. i think i just need to give up at this point because theres clearly like. something broken inside me that cant be fixed. that has 2 be it because i try to talk and i just sound cold, i try to make a joke and it comes out overly edgy and unfunny, i try to be like everyone else but its too much. i cant even be a collection of the positive traits i see in others, i try to replicate it and it comes out warped and wrong. im either fucking enraged or in abject misery or way too happy and nobody can keep up with me. the thing is i dont even blame them. i wouldnt want to be around me either. do u know what thats like? being someone you wouldnt want to know? i keep hoping that one day ill wake up and suddenly be normal, the mood swings will be gone and everyone will like me and i wont do stupid shit that pisses them off. but i know that day isnt coming. theres no hope for me and i want to say sorry to everyone who has ever had the misfortune of knowing me but i know it wouldnt do anything. theres nothing i could ever do to make myself right
(new)
i need to convince my gf to take me to Round One again soon
refraction girl (nataana)
(old)
i don't want to do this anymore. i'm going somewhere better
(new)
talked with my psych and i’ll be starting TMS soon, it’s some thing where they put magnets to ur brain and it’s supposed to treat depression.. trying to temper my expectations bc i’ve tried so many treatments that just do nothing for me, but i’d be lying if i said my hopes weren’t riding on this. i want to confidently say i’m glad to be alive. i feel like i’m getting closer to that
nurse parallel/machine girl (xiomara)
(old)
I am so excited... Tomorrow my experimental outpatient treatment plan begins!!! I'm beyond delighted. I have complicated feelings about my DID being in remission, but it's nice to feel stable enough to be in charge of something this big, and to not have terrible gaps in my memory anymore. I still don't remember everything that happened to me, but maybe I don't need to. At this stage of my life, I feel content. I can confidently say everything was worth it. I want to help others feel that way, too. I think I can.
(new)
I’m meeting up with a new friend tomorrow… I feel nervous, but it’s a good nervousness, I think!
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wings-of-ink · 1 day ago
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Hello, my friends!
Just wanted to pop in with some info and updates.
*The "Cursed Birthday" won the 2k follower celebration poll. Sorry dads! I don't have an ETA for that just yet. I may write it here and there until the end of the year as the motivation strikes. I think the easiest way to tell the tale would be from Oswin's POV or even a shifting POV between him and Da (Kip). I'll decide for sure once I begin to write it. Also playing with the idea of doing this in Twine to make it playable. That way you could put your MC's specifics in for maximum emotional damage.
*I will still write things about the dads though, so all my Papa and Da fans out there won't be left in the dark forever.
*I will be "patching" Chapter 5 in the near future. I redid Zahn's scene (again) which gave me such a headache on release day. I formatted the beginnings in a much more streamlined way and fixed some bugs. When I have more time to sit and go through error reports, and make more corrections to typos, grammar, and code - then I will put the patch through.
*All chapters will be getting a scrub for issues in the text in the coming months. I will do my best to find them, but self-editing is very difficult (there's good reason that professional editors exist). In the future, I may need to ask for testers/editors.
*ASKS will be changing a bit. I do not know the full extent of how because it's a trial by fire. The rules will be updated as I come across things. But, here's why:
Spoiler prevention - as much as it is possible, I want to limit spoiling content for both new and existing readers. Not just for the plot points that are developing, but also for our mystery suitor who will have a lot of unraveling in the coming chapters. I will probably make a specific tag for answers that may contain spoilers, but some of the issue is the information in the Ask itself, which I can't hide. I may opt to compile these in a big post like once a month or so. This way, if anyone does not want to see anything spoilery, it's easier to avoid.
Time management - reaction asks specifically will remain limited and they will honestly have to be a lower priority depending on the condition of my inbox. I am very sorry for this, but these can take an inordinate amount of time. I write this IF in my downtime from work and personal life, and I also use those moments to manage Tumblr. I need to balance those so I can work toward releasing more of the IF.
Patreon - I still plan to give Patreon a go probably starting January. This will help me fund things for the game, such as art, and help me justify spending even more of my time writing chapters and extras. But like everything else, I will need to allot time to work on these things.
Personal Development - I'm taking a coding class! I can work on it at my leisure and it won't take a ton of time during the week, but it will take me out of my Tumblr time a little bit I think. Fingies crossed, I will learn a lot that will help me code a better game for you!
*Inbox - I have several Asks awaiting responses about chapter 5. As noted above, I am holding these due to spoilers to give readers a chance to catch up. (I may opt to compile these in one large post.)
Anyway, that's all for now (it's at least all I currently remember, lol).
Take care, all!
~Lunan ^_^
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yanderenightmare · 6 hours ago
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Do you normally get any 'ew, you're disgusting' shit in your inbox? I just now posted my first incest fic and got one like 'i hope you don't have any siblings lalala'. Prior to that, I was like "how do these authors go untouched by antis?" but then I realised that it was a tad bit naive of me lol. I was going to respond with a taunt but decided to just delete it because it wasn't worth the effort.
Are they frequent and are they easy to ignore?
Good question! I was actually going to make a post on this, as others have asked me the same thing, so here we go!
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♡ Personal experience!
I get my fair share of hate from time to time—more often when I publish things that are more taboo than other excepted things—for example, like you say, incest, as well as bestiality, wide age gap, born-sexy-yesterday readers, etc.
It's an odd thing, as haters will often accept the fact that I write rape for titillation but will take issue with these other tropes. But anyway, we can talk about the nonsensical opinions of haters all day, but it wouldn't really do us any good.
So, here's my advice.
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♡ First off, accept that haters are gonna hate!
Some people won't like what you write. And that's fine. The problem is that they feel the need to tell you that—at which point, you'll just have to console yourself by telling yourself that no decent person would be rude to a total stranger whom they don't know the first thing about and, therefore, whatever they have to say warrants neither second thought nor reply.
With that being said, however...
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♡ You gotta do what feels right!
Engage or don't engage, do what you need to feel at peace. Sure, you can be the so-called bigger man and ignore all the meanies, but you absolutely don't have to!
Of course, we can be cool as cucumbers and say, "Not worth the effort," but who are we kidding? This is Tumblr, and you're allowed to rant when you want in whatever manner you want!
So, if you feel you gotta bite back to maintain your sanity, then that's what you should!
However, I do believe there's a way to go about it!
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♡ Never go to bed angry!
This is my personal advice, but if you ever choose to acknowledge hate or critique, do so with tact and with based and factual arguments instead of slinging heated insults in return.
This way, you walk away from the fight feeling good about what you've said and not worse off than before. In other words, don't stoop down to their level.
I actually feel in many ways that answering hate can be rather therapeutic this way, as you've succesfully turned something negative into soemthing positive!
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♡ The difference between hate and critique!
Actually doesn't matter. You're not really obligated to answer either if you don't want to.
But for the sake of differentiating the two: "Ew, you're disgusting" is hateful slander, but "Incest is wrong, and you're actively condoning it by writing what you write" is a genuine critique.
And it bears repeating, you don't have to address either because you don't owe anyone anything.
People are entiteld to their opnions just as much as you're free to disagree, and ignore if you want!
But something I've found is that explaining it to those who don't understand why we write such things, and furthermore why people want to read it without being interested in such things in real life, is actually quite a rewarding thing to do!
And by that, I mean it might make your critics and haters understand and rethink their comments, but it can also help your existing fans deal with their own similar self-loathing, and lastly, it's even great for your own mental health for when you yourself doubt your own mental standing!
Personally, in regard to the example I used above, when I get hit with the "you're condoning this and that" I just play the argument that those who play violent videogames aren't condoning the killing carried out by their avatar. Naturally, when roleplaying a fictional version of ourselves, we're not actually playing as ourselves.
Some people have a very hard time understanding this for some reason.
But anyway, moving on.
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♡ Final advice!
Ignore and delete any and all the dumb, off-handed comments you feel like. If and when you want, return their rudeness with a cheeky smile and a slap on their ass. Be as cordial as you can be but as sassy as you feel you must—like an aged Queen who drinks her fair share of likewise wine.
But whatever you do, don't ever make things personal!
Though that's also my personal advice. I think, by making personal attacks, you're not being factual anymore, and you'll only feel worse for it. And by personal attacks, I mean calling people ignorant, dumb, awful, etc. You can, of course, say that their chosen words were in ill taste, but going after them themselves won't make you feel better. So, I'd suggest avoiding it.
Anyway, hope this helps!
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amberjazmyn · 23 hours ago
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f1 drivers as christmas songs🫶
pairing : m.verstappen, l.norris, c.sainz, o.piastri, c.leclerc, d.ricciardo
summary : mostly innaccurate but, a christmas song that i think matches these above formula drivers.
warnings : absolutely none lol
a/n : don't @ me but i'm really wanting to release a decent-ish amount of fic-mas fics before christmas ends let alone begins so forgive me if these are crap lol
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max verstappen
silent night
i have no idea why silent night came to mind for max but, it just did.
i just feel like max loves christmases that are just relaxed, not too much effort
and i feel like he doesn't like it when he has to go to multiple different christmas get togethers
all because he just wants to be at home with his cats and with his immediate family
he loves a calm but bright christmas
whilst he may not be religious, christmas can feel holy at the same time for him
does he sleep in heavenly peace like the song suggests?
i definitely think he does because he doesn't have to worry about the race season until the new year
which means i think he also doesn't care what he eats or how much he eats
and it's because he knows he won't have to really worry about not losing it because he'll still make sure to occasionally train at the gym every once in a while
the main thing about christmas he enjoyed wasn't all the presents he got but the love he got to be surrounded by
lando norris
last christmas
the only real reason why last christmas came to mind was because of lando's ex-girlfriend luisa
i truly think lando really loved luisa more than he loved any other of his ex girlfriend's
hence why i think the lyrics 'i gave you my heart but the very next day, you gave it away' really screams lando to me as a christmas song
do i think lando has tried to save himself from tears and giving his heart to someone special?
no, i truly think lando's someone special was luisa
but, lando has definitely given away his heart to people that don't deserve it
and i'm not just talking female relationships either for lando
i'm also taking about people in lando's life that have been shown his heart and then taken it for granted
i may also be referring to lando himself
lando is someone who loves to self-sabotage and think awfully of himself
so when someone tells him that he's amazing and that they don't understand why he's so hard on himself, he'll just blindly accept it
and he'll wrongly stay close to them thinking that all they want for him is happiness
when really they don't want him to succeed
they just want him because of his name and his popularity
however, at some point lando realises and he becomes more guarded
but, he also becomes more confident in who he is and becomes more trusting of himself
carlos sainz jr
feliz navidad
and no, i didn't just do this because carlos is spanish
i did it because i fully believe that carlos absolutely loves christmas cause he gets to spend the entire time with his family and loved ones
and it really seems as though carlos is a real family man and loves to be able to have the freedom to spend all the time in the world with them
no more races for the year taking him away from seeing anyone he loves
no more stress about whether or not the race strategy would either work in his favour or absolutely betray him
the only thing he had to stress about was whether or not he'd be able to hug and speak to as many people as possible
and this was because there were always so many people at the sainz christmas dinner that carlos couldn't really remember who he had spoken to and those he hadn't
i also think that when this song starts playing, carlos is singing it from the tops of his lungs
he loves being spanish so i really think he'd absolutely yell the lyrics of this song with absolutely no shame at all
i think he'd also make his famous fluffy pancake recipe the morning of christmas day for sure
i also think that carlos would be the best and most thoughtful gift-giver
like, whilst we all know that physical touch is definitely one of carlos' love languages, i also think gift-giving is another one of his love languages
especially with so many in his extended family, i do really think carlos gives the best gifts to his parents and his sisters as well as the children of his sisters
like, i bet everyone loves uncle carlos during christmas time more than they already love him
oscar piastri
where are you christmas?
okay, i know this sounds depressing but, it does make sense and gets better
because i mean in the way of the fact that if oscar wants to be home for christmas, he can't just drive five,ten, fifteen, twenty etc. minutes away to his parents house for christmas
he has to take a whole ass 20+ hour flight all the way back to melbourne
meaning he has to pack up a whole suitcase and possibly carry-on bag and plan flights to melbourne as well as return flights to england
and he also has to bring with him all of the christmas presents that he has bought for his family with him which adds so much more weight to his probably already heavy suitcase and carry-on
and then on top of all of that, he'll most likely either pick the earliest flight possible or the latest flight possible but he'll still be exhausted from the long flight and the jetlag
that when he finally arrives home in melbourne, he doesn't feel as christmassy as he used to when he didn't have to do this huge round-the-world trip just to be home with his loved ones for christmas
because he's exhausted from that long haul flight that seeing all of or lack thereof christmas decorations, christmas feels like a regular day except presents are shared with one another and there is a shit ton of food
as well as the fact that it's most likely going to be a total fire ban day and that it's going to be the literal hottest day of the entire year
meaning the day is going to be horrible because the heat is going to overwhelm everyone
oscar especially since he had gotten so used to the extreme chill of england that returning home for christmas, he forgot just how bloody hot australia gets in comparison to the heat that england experiences on the rare occasion it isn't doom and gloom over there
however, it's not all negative because i'm sure when oscar finally settles back into the rhythm of being back home in melbourne, he feels like he can finally relax
and that he can finally enjoy not having to always be on the go every single day
and that he doesn't have to really monitor how much or how little he has to eat to make sure he stays in prime shape to fit in the f1 car
he can just relax, be with his family and loved ones and eat as much food as he wants
by the end of his time in australia, christmas does manage to find oscar and he is relieved that he found it as well because he really does love the magic and simplicity of spending christmas with his family
charles leclerc
it's the most wonderful time of the year
charles leclerc is a christmas lover
he loves the magic of it
he loves the gift-giving to those he loves
especially his little niece, chiara
he loves being together with his mum pascale and his two brothers lorenzo and arthur
he just loves christmas
he really thinks that it's the most wonderful time of the year
hearing the carolers sing carols throughout monaco's main street
he just finds it absolutely beautiful at how magical christmas in monaco gets
he also loves the christmas music that gets played throughout the shops as he and everyone else frantically try to buy everything they need for christmas
he loves the christmas rush
whilst he dislikes at how late he shops for christmas presents, he turns it into a game
a game to see how much quicker than the person next to him can he find what he needs to get his two brothers for christmas
charles already getting all the presents for his mum, niece chiara and girlfriend but leaving arthur and lorenzo's present until the last possible moment because he just got so busy buying everyone else's christmas presents
however, charles does manage to get presents for his two brothers and in record time to with less than days before christmas day arrives
when it comes to the day of christmas and spending it with his family and his loved ones, the little children are immediately drawn to him
not because uncle and cousin charles is an f1 driver but because he tells the best ghost and christmas stories of the past
he tells them stories in french, italian and english of different stories of how christmas used to be celebrated in the earlier centuries
the kids listening in excitement and on the edge of their seats as charles really gets into the fantasy side of it all
he loves seeing the little kids in his family also love the magic and joy of christmas
hence why he loved to spread that same magic and joy that he had for christmas
even though he was way beyond the years of really believing in santa, who said christmas wasn't magical for the adults as well as the kids?
daniel ricciardo
aussie jingle bells
alright, i may look like i'm totally taking the piss here but, this is genuinely the song i think of when i think of daniel ricciardo + christmas
i did think about giving this song to oscar but it didn't feel right and daniel was the only other aussie f1 driver that i could totally see actually screaming out this song from the top of his lungs
daniel is a lot more hardcore aussie than oscar and jack doohan are to the point i could literally imagine him being in charge of the aux for christmas and just playing this one song by colin buchanan and greg champion on repeat
until someone tells him to cut it out or put on another christmas song
in all seriousness though, every single aussie knows this aussie twist on the classic jingle bells and it is genuinely the most honest representation of an australian christmas
it is always (majority of the time - except for that one christmas last year it was fucking freezing and raining!) a scorching hot summer's day the week leading up to and on the day of christmas
to the point that, like the song literally states, you end up in your singlet shorts and thongs (flip-flops)
but, the most false thing that is in this aussie jingle bells is the majority of us australians do not live in the bush/outback
the majority of us actually live on the coastline but, that doesn't change the fact that it's still hot as balls in australia during christmas time because in the southern hemispehre for the months of january, febuary and march, it is summertime which in the northern hemispehre it's wintertime
going back to daniel, i genuinely think that he's the one cooking up all the food on the barbecue as well as the one who hands out the drinks from the esky
i also think daniel will also be a great and thoughful gift-giver
whilst he'd definitely put a few joke gifts in there like a cheeky box of cards against humanity or a game of beer pong, i think he'd also be very thoughtful
especially in regards to his parents, i think he'd be really thoughtful and get them presents that would be very meaningful
but, going back to the beer pong game, he'd also definitely be the one that starts that game
i also feel like daniel would pull out a cheeky christmas shoey just because it was his time off from racing and he is a man of tradition
and i say doing a christmas shoey is pretty australian of him
fin
ok, this definitely came out more as a crack-fic than what it was originally meant to but i'm just glad i have another christmas fic up and done! daniel's was most definitely the one that made it into a crack fic but, i don't hate it. i think daniel represents the majority of the true blue aussies whilst oscar is the complete opposite of true blue aussie. and honestly, it's relatable because not many australians have the stereotypical bogan accent that a lot of foreigners think that we do. well, speaking for myself, i only become aware of my australian accent when i say very particular words like 'australia' and 'water' as the two that come to mind. but, anyway, i hope guys enjoyed whatever the fuck this was and merry christmas & happy holidays my lovelies <3
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©⠀amberjazmyn's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2024
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moriitis · 1 day ago
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okok hear me out, what's your take on Jeff or being in an relationship with Jeff? Only if you want to write him though!!
What would it be like dating Jeff The Killer?
Content/Warnings; knife play, violence, suggested graphic/sexual themes, mentions of abuse.
MINORS DNI. 18+
Jeff is written in his 20s in this. This is just how I perceive him.
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Red flag central. He's not a good boyfriend, he's an apologetic asshole that gets off pissing you off. Won't talk about his feelings to you, will make snarky comments and become very territorial over you. Most of it is his own insecurities, frankly he's a shitty person and he has no idea why you would willingly want to date a piece of shit like him.
He will have his moments where he'll be somewhat nice but automatically you'll assume the worse or be suspicious of him.
Much like Toby, he'll take things too far. Jokes that aren't funny or even tipping your glass back so that the water goes all over you. He's an immature dickhead and finds it hilarious.
When he is nice, it's usually because he's feeling sorry for himself more than anything and just is needy for your attention. Wouldn't really picture him as a touchy person; but given in certain situations he is. Like when he's roaming his hands all over you.
Gets super grouchy when he hasn't killed anyone and you'll feel it. He'll be short, snappy and annoying. He fucking loves when you encourage him to find someone just to slash their throat open though.
Really not a big fan of sensitive s/o's. Can't deal with his own emotions let alone yours and he's not going to fucking babysit you. You get up and deal with it, life's a bitch and it sure isn't going to change for the likes of you.
Likes being talked down to, so like's a person who can put him in his place and have a sense of control over him.
More vulnerable at night time, when it's quiet and just the two of you. Comes to his senses a little more, will maybe apologise for being the kind of thing he is, talk about his past but very rarely.
Of course, he'll tease you but sometimes his teasing can become really personal and he'll jab at your insecurities.
Deep down he just wants to be loved but puts up a very hard wall to try and protect himself.
Will beat whoever pisses you off. Violence for him is better than any words combined. You want this person dead? Name them and he'll sort it for you.
Is the biggest shit talker, loves spreading rumours and talking shit behind peoples back. Wouldn't do it about you, but if you wanna vent and wanna talk some real mean crap about someone; he's all for it.
Knife play. Will fuck you with a knife.
Aside from his red flags, he tries to work on them around you. Took him awhile as he's a stubborn bitch, but if he knows he's hurt you; then he'll apologise. Just don't expect it to happen straight away. You guys could argue and then a couple months later he's apologising for what he said and how he acted.
And on that, he would never, NEVER, lay hands on you. He knows better than that and if he ever found himself in a situation where he did; he'd cut his own fucking hands off.
Aand don't expect him to remind you about medication, he'll forget.
Compliments !! But every time he does, he's blushing and trips over his own words.
Something about tracing his fingers along your collarbones really does things to him.
i dont see the hype with jeff so personally this was lowk a little hard for me to write LOL. but i tried sorry it sucks anon.
i just cant see jeff being romantic, all i see is an asshole lol. but he tries ok?
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joannerowling · 3 days ago
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do you think they'll ever go for another HP spinoff? Both Cursed Child and Fantastic Beasts received poor or mixed reviews at best and were not that popular (I don't think anyone has ever referenced them IRL in my experience) so I doubt they'll be trying another spinoff anytime soon. Perhaps after the HP show is over in a decade? I really hope not lol, I found both CC and FB incredibly uninteresting and basic (Ezra Miller and Johnny Depp really turned me off too lol) and I figure any other spin off would be just as disappointing.
I also think the terminally online fans going "No one wants this! we want a spinoff about the founders or marauders!" are so incredibly out of touch. the HP show everyone will watch, however no one would care about either of those except super duper HP fans. If I said "marauders" IRL I highly doubt anyone would even know what I'm referencing. Also why on earth would they take a gamble on a new show after CC and FB flopped? and these terminally online JKR haters complaining about the show and screaming for a Jegulus spinoff instead also hated and complained about CC and FB for the most part? it's such a bizarre reaction that is based exclusively in 'I hate jkr and want to complain' instead of any actual desires on their part IMO
Will there ever be another HP spinoff?
Short answer: probably not.
Long answer: they can only greenlight a project with JKR's approval, so it really all depends on her. She's clearly not interested in writing more original Potter books right now, but she's ok letting others play with the IP in various media and/or commercial forms (except novels; duh, she's not stupid), so long as her specific wishes on some topics are met. So far, pretty successfully:
Theatre : Cursed Child, while hated by a vocal minority of (essentially book) fans, is a commercial and critical hit, winning several awards and touring in multiple countries while playing non-stop on the West End.
Video Games : Obviously a quite successful format, from the popular smartphone mini-games to Hogwarts Legacy. Nobody cared that much about HL's story, its success came down to the fun of actually getting to explore Hogwarts, Hogsmeade, etc.
Park theme(s) : Very successful and not to be underestimated creativity-wise, between decors, costumes, ancilliary products, etc. Again, the appeal is immersion and exploration rather than rides.
Supplementary non-fiction material : The "Hogwarts Library" supplementary books deepening the universe's lore have always been hits, hence WB using them as a base to develop FB.
Fantastic Beasts movie series (and the whole "wizarding world" brand) : The big disappointment. It didn't start so bad, the first was a success and well received. The second was too complicated and lost the GP, but still made money; and the third was better received but not well enough to save it. Still, even Secrets was more of a flop than a bomb (it made back its Covid-inflated budget twice after all, not enough to make a profit but better than nothing).
At some point, if i'm a WB exec and i'm a little smart, i start to notice patterns:
Normie fans and GA don't want new "wizarding world" stories: they want an immersive experience. Movies are a bad format for that. You just can't cram too much stuff in a movie without shit becoming real expensive real fast.
Book fans hate everything new in general, even with Jo's involvement it's getting touchy after FB and CC. (I'm sure an original novel would work but even that's risky and she's not interested anyways.)
On the other hand, book fans also famously disliked the movies, so a new, more faithful adaptation might interest them. Normie fans and GA too: they already know the story, so it's accessible, and parents would love sharing it with their kids.
Sales show that people in general are definitely still massively attached to Harry Potter, so it's worth investing.
TV adaptations of books following disappointing movies have been pretty successful recently: BBC/HBO's HDM, Netflix's Series of Unfortunate Events, etc.
TV's not a bad format for immersive story-telling. Not the best, but you have more screen time and it's usually cheaper to produce than films and more character driven, meaning more opportunities to add details and play with them. Enough "new" elements to stand apart from the movies and excite fans, but no risk of messing with canon.
For WB, a remake is a great middle ground to work with JKR in spite of her controversies: she's involved, but not too involved, because the story isn't a new one. It's not like she's writing an original script for them, she's just consulting to make sure they're not messing up. And for Jo? Also greatly convenient! She gets to make money with minimal work. She's a very busy woman you see, and she's got expenses (those rape crisis centers aren't paying for themselves).
Conclusion : Spin-offs = bad, expensive ideas almost bound to fail, unless they were adaptations of a new, critically acclaimed original novel by JKR, which will not happen any time soon. Remake = safer, actually something people want to see (or could be persuaded to watch if initially unconvinced, for the hardcore movie fans). Movies are (kinda) out, shows are (still) in. Carpe Diem, etc.
Will there specifically ever be a Marauders spinoff?
With the disclaimer that i'm not JKR so i can't actually know that but: no. Never. Not even a remote possibility, won't ever happen in a thousand years.
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rey-jake-therapist · 14 hours ago
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Wow, I didn't expect this post to blow up like this, that's why I kept it out of the main tags, because I didn't want it to... lol
Just want to say this: if people read all the posts made about this subject, and still don't want to believe it's more than a crack theory, it's fine by me, really. They may refuse for whatever reason: because they hate it, because they think it does Elrond dirty, because they don't think Sauron would do that, because they don't think we brought enough proofs, etc etc...
I'm really, really fine with that. I don't want these people to think I'm insulting their intelligence or anything, especially since as long as season 3 doesn't air and doesn't reveal the theory to be true, it is what is: a theory, among a million of other theories. I'm sure it was meant to be Sauron in that tent, but if the showrunners decide against it, it will be no more than a theory. You won't see me throwing a tantrum because it won't happen. I'll be disappointed, probably, but at the end it's just a show, it's not life changing.
What I don't like is that people who never bothered to read any of the posts that were written on the subject agressively dismiss it as a "shipper's wishful thinking". THIS is insulting my intelligence, and the intelligence of everyone who took the time to analyze this scene. You don't want to believe it, it's FINE. But there's no need to be rude about it. Don't get me started on the baseless accusations of bullying/insulting those who disagree with the theory, because this is what happened these last few days and I know, for sure, that I never did that, and I sure never saw anyone do that.
And yes, indeed, it's not exactly a shipper's "fever dream", is it? It's kinda lame, actually, if it is what happened. The first on screen kiss being a total deception like that... Yes, it kinda sucks.
There, end of the speech.
I'm sure there's a perfectly logical explanation as to why each time Elrond speaks in the tent scene of 2x07 and also outside, when he's talking to Vorohil, it's not his theme playing but Siege of the Southlands and Destined for Darkness, both being tracks from Sauron's suite OST...
I mean what do I know, I'm just a delusional shipper who makes it all about her ship. Bear Mc Creary probably mixed up the tapes. Oops.
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certifiedtrashmouth · 2 years ago
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i wanna know more about you like what's the weirdest interaction you've ever had with a famous person
zak bagans has me blocked on twitter
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d3nji · 12 days ago
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Woke up and got depressed yay
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chrisbangs · 1 year ago
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hello... (and bye ig 👋)
#👋😭 hi...#i haven't come on in about a month and i didn't realize a month passed by like that... i've kinda stopped using any apps on my phone#i barely even talk to my friends anymore lol 😭#i just saw my follower count this morning and realized i hit 13k and i was like 🥸 huh...#uhhhhhhh 😭 idk i wanted to say thank you i guess 🫂#i'm done with stayblr and tumblr in general 😭 this much has been obvious for a while now... i tried to fit myself back in during 5star but#i think i realized i've outgrown the vibes here and in online spaces in general... i don't really enjoy it anymore 😭 which is weird cause#i've used tumblr since i was in middle school so 🫡 end of an era some would say...#i think it sucks because i don't have the same feelings about this place or skz or anything in my life right now... i tried to ignore it bu#it's so obvious now that the entirety of december passed without me really talking to a single person / without me using social media /#without me really doing much except for like homework and assignments lmao#i think genuinely i've stopped enjoying everything i used to like and i don't know why 😭 it hit me the other day bc i don't even enjoy#pc collecting anymore which is CRAZY considering how much time and money i've put into that hobby so 👋🥸 who knows what goes on#i haven't consumed any skz content since rockstar dropped 😭 and that also feels weird to me... idk... i would say maybe i'm going through a#depressive episode but i don't really feel how i do then... i think i'm just tired like i always am and that's just how i am now .. i think#i'm just not really interested in things anymore? weird but .. yeah idk😭 if i knew what was wrong i would Fix It sndjdndkd mostly i'm just#sad because i haven't been talking to friends... i keep ignoring everyone and not replying to any texts from anyone because ????#i tell myself i will do it later but i know i won't ... idk i genuinely don't know why i'm struggling to talk to ppl anymore 😭 i've become#even more of a reclusive hermit than i already was 💀 and the worst part is i feel normal abt it#i don't feel /bad/ i just feel guilty that i'm not replying to ppl bc i don't want to hurt ppls feelings... on my end i feel Normal abt it#like i ??? is it weird that i'm so detached from everything that not even a month ago made me so happy..? that's weird right 😭 like idgi#i don't feel (as) depressed (as i usually do) but clearly ?? smth is wrong ?? like ik i'm not a clingy sentimental person but ? it kinda#makes me sad wondering if i really don't care abt ppl anymore ... but i think 😭 it's also the object permanence issues that come with adhd#not seeing or talking to the ppl i love . not doing my hobbies or seeing the groups i care abt . makes it easy to not care or forget what#they make me feel etc etc ... i get it... but idk 😭 if that's what this is . well wow it sucks ASS.. cause i feel guilty for not feeling#anything at all ... 😭 idk how to explain that HENSKDNISJS anywayyyy 💀#i came on cause i wanted to say thank you for 13k followers 😭‼️ and that i probably will not be online anymore unless i really want to say#this was a really long winded way to say i feel bad but i'm done with stayblr fr 👋🥸 i tried so hard for the last 2 years to make it feel#like home again but it stopped ages ago so 🥹 that's ok.. i still cherish my memories here 🫂 anyway thanku and sjsjsksksks bye i guess 😭#who knows maybe i'll enjoy it one day again and come back :') never know what the future holds 🫡
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jesi-jess · 2 days ago
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OKAY THINK I CAN POST SOME THOUGHTS NOW, I've screamed out loud enough.
BELOW THE LINE WILL BE SPOILERS FOR CHAP 7, namely my thoughts over it all. If you don't wanna be spoiled read the chapter above before continuing this post.
So first off the entire begin with Soldier and seeing buff Merasmus just made me feral and laugh so fucking hard. The old man wizard also having a tattoo of Jones was so sweet but also being the overlord of the prison like god damn.
But like man then SEEING THE WHOLE FAMILY COME IN, I was not ready for that, they were all as goofy as expected but it was so cute and they all just made the perfect chaotic family imagined.
Then GOD DAMN HEAVY THO, HOLY SHIT. That beard just suits him so well. Sir.... SIR. I am lost in the sauce, I'm smooching, in my head Medic smooching, hell anyone wanna be smooching. Help.
THEN SEEING SCOUT BE SO CUTE AND HONEST ABOUT DECIDING HE IS GONNA MOVE ON FROM PAULING THO???? Idk kinda left me like okay that is so far then her being supportive like "Yes there is defs way more hotter ladies than me, go get some hot ladies Scout." JUST HONESTLY? Like I do like Scout x Pauling but I also don't mind it not becoming canon, cause them being the best pals for one another just feels so nice like help.
Ngl though following the ENTIRE part about the Admin, just left me like....
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On one hand I enjoyed it but on the other hand was so out of no where I didn't know what to even think once that arc of it was done. Like straight up she is the mama of the brothers and crazy, never told why she is truly doing it (or I missed it while reading, I'll reread trust me). Wild as fuck. I don't know, like not disappointing but also not sure how to feel. Best way to put it I don't hate it LOL.
And then we get the entire end and seeing EVERYONE AND MOST IMPORTANTLY EVERYONE WAS THERE! Scout becoming like his ma and keeping with all his kids was the sweetest thing, then Spy... SPY! I could go on and on how happy I am with that face reveal. It's funny how I pm pushed my drawing way of him towards that too, I still always look at my commission and the sfm model I loved after that pm is the reveal too. Salt and Pepper older gentleman. Then the others all coming in and seeing the bits of them. PYRO, DEMO, SNIPER, ALL OF THEM.
SNIPER HAVING THE GRAYING IN HIS HAIR SHOWING TOO MADE ME MORE FERAL THAN I REALIZED IT WOULD.
I teared up seeing Spy looking at the photo with that gentle smile, just knowing the mama passed away. Broke my god damn heart. :CCCC
I seriously loved it all though. I think it all is well that ends well, never expected the comic so quick, also was worried how it would come. How it would end? But I think the open end in a way of it all is perfect. It solidified some things, left other things in questions to let us boil off of and enjoy. I didn't feel any thing was pushed in a way that would be damning or upsetting (at least to me). I didn't need confirmed ships or saying the story will continue. I just wanted them alive in the end and happy.
And was it given.
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WE FINALLY GOT IT BOIS
IT'S HERE, THE COMIC IS HERE, I AM GOING FERAL
BYE
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icewindandboringhorror · 1 year ago
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my personal Media Genres tier ranking and also Neopets Species tiers. put together in the same post just due to being adjacently related because they're on the same website lol
links to the specific tier makers: Media Genres --- Neopets
#(might have to right click open image in new tab to zoom and see some of them. tumblr always makes screenshots tiny)#Also I think this is why I have trouble finding things to watch/just don't watch media very often since I'm so so so hyper specific and#particular that I just end up disliking or neutrally not caring about like.. SO MANY things ghfg#Even being aware of my particular-ness I was still surprised to see how many were in the 'dislike' and 'not care' categories lol#Also it is so so so hard being an Action and Romance genre hater YET being a Fantasy and Historical genre lover ghhjb#EVERY fantasy story is also an action romance.. every historical story is a romance.. ouch oof taking psychic damage always#KIND of like how I LOOOOVE point and click mystery puzzle games but I also generally dislike the horror genre#but many point and click puzzle games I used to see would have horror elements or be 'scary' in some way#and it's like HHRgghh.. I just want to navigate a creepy old dilapidated mansion collecting secret codes from books but NOT in a scary way!#just like I want fantasy & historical content but NOT in an action romance way!!#Also.. NEOPETS.. I think my two favorites are both one of the most common choices and also one of the least lol#like EVERYONE loves aishas pretty much. I think they even won a favorite neopets poll on tumblr. But then nobody talks about vandagyres#or even cares about them (seemingly) and they have like so few clothes or good options because they're just irrelevant apparently#also I know it seems very uncharacteristic for the neopet that's basically A Cat to not be in my favorites but I just gjhjhbj#the eyebrows of the wocky bother me. it doesn't match everything else. Even in different paintrbsuh colors it will be#nice and cohesive and pastel or something and then two big dark lines. I aesthetically love thick dark eyebrows on people it just looks wei#rd on a cartoon cat. ANYWAY.. fun to think about#I love ranking things always#also curious to know if anyone has similar opinions... my fellow vandagyre lovers.. and action movie haters.. cutthroat kitchen fans.. :0c#AND as someone tired of romance in general & ESPECIALLY cardboard cutout cishet romances. yes I would of course like to see more lgbtq+#stories in media etc. The genre is just not placed higher because so much seems to be Modern Young Adult Romance which of course I hate#those themes lol.. We need some drama comedies with a cast of gay 300yr old elves in victorian costume. please.. ghjgj.. (and like ACTUAL#300 yr olds. NOT 'is immortal bt still acts like an irrational 15yr old bc plot'. what abt jaded eccentric elder romance? hmM? lol) ANYWAY#always manifesting a 'high fantasy historical mystery comedy drama satire psychological character study (with vampires)' into existence lol#if I could make a tv show set in my world... the sheer power I would have.. and nobody would watch it because it would have NO action or#romance (at least none that was serious/was not framed as lame/goofy/comedic) & would have intricate complicated worldbuilding and be very#VERY broadly unmarketable.. but I would finally have a show that meets my tastes lol
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rotisseries · 1 year ago
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actually now that the clique thing is a few days old, i didn't really get involved for a reason and I don't feel super strongly in either direction
but I will say that like. while there's certainly a problem of less interaction on the fanworks/posts from less popular blogs, this isn't really a byler exclusive issue? this happens in most fandoms these days, interaction is just on a decline in general which IS. a problem but not really a "byler tumblr is cliquey" problem. in regards to any actual cliques I wouldn't say they don't exist but I don't think it's "the popular kids" themselves doing this. I don't know if the rest of you have some other bloggers in mind that I don't know about, but as someone who is mutuals with a fair amount of who I thought were the popular blogs, they are always very nice and welcoming to me, and actually easy to talk to once you just. see them and talk to them as a normal human and not an omnipotent fandom god. so this is all to say that if there's a clique issue I think it's from the outside. I think maybe people are perceiving these bigger blogs who all happen to be friends as these untouchable idols in fandom and it's. making it cliquey from the outside. like are they a clique or have you just convinced yourself they wouldn't want anything to do with you and isolated this group from everyone else. this isn't to say that people can't be assholes of course just that I don't think any of this is intentional
#I think a lot of post interaction problems are also just probably coming from the fact that I don't think anyone checks the tag anymore#I certainly don't. I just keep up with what my mutuals are posting#and my mutuals are posting their work and they're sharing their friend's work or the work their friend shared from someone else#so if you're a little known blogger it can just be harder because. your posts just aren't making it as far you have a few followers#and they have even fewer. and so unless you get an anomaly popularity boost it'll be harder for a post to get traction#also “it's a clique bc all the popular blogs are friends and only associate with each other” well they have been friends for months#or a year now. and also probably were not as popular when that friendship started#so it's more like. a friend group forms and then when one of you gets a popularity boost so do the others bc you're friends#and then next thing you know it's a friend group of popular bloggers#anyway. all this to say get out and make some friends! either I'm right and this will actually fix the problem#or there really is a clique in which case why tf would you want to associate with them anyway#but genuinely this is rich coming from me actually known to most as godawful at talking to people irl#but it's really so simple to make tumblr friends it just requires you to be a little brave and genuine#if you see someone posting a lot of cool stuff follow them!! and then get in their askbox and talk to them about something#if they have an au you really like talk to them about that if they have some music they've been posting about check it out#and tell them what you thought!#just like. be friendly and open they'll probably respond in kind and next thing you know you have a really cool friend#anyway if you're one of my mutuals and you saw me like a post the other day or whatever that might feel contrary to this#well the other day I was just watching things go down lmao#I didn't care what any posts said I was busy with my own discourse lol#(and also if you're ANOTHER mutual wondering wtf this post is about don't worry about that)#idk I think I just. haven't really witnessed cliquey behavior but I see posts about this with enough notes#that sometimes I think. well you guys gotta be experiencing SOMETHING so idk. idk#I guess this is another “some people just have friends” post#anyway I think a good thing to remember here also is that we're arguing about popularity on Tumblr Dot Com. brother we are bloggers#and we're calling it cliques. like a highschool movie
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blackthorn-legion-irl · 1 year ago
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STOP BEING SO FUCKING KIND TO ME I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE
I SENT A CORPSE TO A CHILD
...
You're too kind for your own good.
Fuck.
//Hello!! Rwat anon mod!! You're doing great lol no need to be nervous about interacting- if anything I was because I got accused of being- a not so great person yesterday and I was worried people were going to think that this character or that person was me ooc. Anyways, about rwat. They have severe intrusive thoughts constantly, and were in a manic state while sending threats and shit to paris which peaked with that package to sprite- but has now dipped down and they're more reasonable, though still unstable
i'll tell you one thing that i've never told anyone on here before. i know that this will make it publically known. but i think telling you will help.
i've done worse.
i don't know what - i've repressed most of that memory. but i was a stupid kid. i'm still a stupid adult sometimes. i probably snapped. my point is - if i can come back from that, so can you.
if you don't want to talk for now - or at all - i understand. i'll work on finding a good therapist near you who doesn't work with the cops - not sure if that's a worry you had, but easing it anyway. cops suck but if you'd like i will absolutely support you, okay? i can't go too extreme without drawing attention, but through... slight money laundering through my dude in johto i can make sure you have at least stable housing and supplies so you don't have to worry about those.
just remember. small steppy better than no steppy. and two steps forward one step back is still a net gain.
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chaotic-history · 1 year ago
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i am. thinking about the barbie movie
#am gonna regret writing this later but. being trans is a special breed of feeling like you have to prove your masculinity#and it's extra fucked up cause whenever you feel like that you immediately feel like shit afterwards cause you know the other side and you#grew up knowing you were queer and now you feel like you're being antithetical to what the queer community is all about and the progress it#has made. like obviously [insert any number of things lol] does not make someone any less of a man. you know that and you know that you'd#never judge anyone else by that standard but at the same time clearly you still fucking believe in it since you judge yourself by it and#what if you're just judging other people unconsciously#and this ties back in to the movie cause the end w ken also rebrought up the question of 'do i actually want a romantic relationship or do#just feel like i *should* have one' and i'm kind of leaning towards the second option. bc it feels Good but in like.. i don't even know how#to describe it. like it's what i should be doing but not because *i* actually want to personally?#and i know that whatever kind/amount of attraction i have is bi but whenever i imagine the kind of relationship that would feel most 'right#(in that weird way) it's always w a girl. which is literally fucking just the beginning of these tags restated. bc that feels like the thin#i 'should' be doing as a guy (lmfaooo mistyped that as gay 💀) n i think the 'this feels right' is literally just gender euphoria which#again is fucking stupid as a shit bc obviously liking girls is not more masculine than liking guys and ofc i don't actually believe that#but then clearly i fucking DO because why the hell else would i feel that way for myself#anyway gonna go play in traffic 🙃 dear god please hit me with a bus. thanks
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