#i don't know what it's all supposed to mean yet but

[misswynters]

𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐍𝐞𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞

Leon S Kennedy x reader

warnings. slight nsfw themes, teasing, leon being hot

Seemingly enough, the night air was thick with the scent of rain and smoke as you and Leon found a momentary refuge in the shelter of an old warehouse. You'd only stopped for a quick break, yet here he was, shirtless, bent over his gear bag to check the supplies, every muscle in his back flexing with each movement. A faint glint of silver caught your eye, a thick silver chain hanging around his neck.

You didn't mean to stare, but your eyes were drawn to him: the way the low moonlight outside spilled in through the broken windows, casting shadows over his bare shoulders and collarbone, highlighting the fine sheen of sweat on his skin. He straightened, his focus on the gear, oblivious to the way your gaze lingered.

A mischievous thought crossed your mind, and without a second guess, you stepped closer, reaching out to catch the necklace between your fingers, giving it a gentle tug. Leon's head turned, his blue eyes locking onto yours with a spark of surprise, but also something darker, more dangerous. You let your fingers brush the chain where it lay against his chest, and with a smirk, you looked up at him, your voice low and teasing.

"You know, this would look good above me," you murmured, not missing the flicker in his gaze as the implication sank in.

For a moment, he was silent, his breath hitching ever so slightly. Then a slow smile spread across his lips, a look of confidence settling in his eyes. "Is that right?" he asked, voice smooth, filled with a heat that made your stomach flip. His hand came up to yours, his fingers brushing your wrist before he held it, his grip both firm and careful.

"You sound awfully sure of yourself," he continued, his voice dropping as he stepped closer, closing the space between you until there was barely a breath of air separating your bodies. His free hand slid along your waist, fingers tracing your side, his thumb brushing a small circle against your hip, sending shivers through you. "But l've gotta warn you-I don't like teasing."

"Oh, I'm counting on it," you shot back, lips curving into a smirk as you leaned in, letting your mouth hover near his ear, close enough to feel his pulse spike under your hand. His fingers tightened on your waist, and you could feel his breath quicken, the tension building between you like a live wire.

He didn't hold back, his hands moving to your waist, pulling you flush against him, his eyes dark as they flickered over your face. "You really want to find out what that necklace looks like up close?" His words were barely a whisper, warm against your skin as he traced a path down your arm, his touch sending a thrill through you.

Your heart raced, but you didn't look away, didn't falter under the intensity in his gaze. "Maybe l'd like a demonstration," you replied, your fingers trailing along his chest, lingering just enough to feel the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your touch.

That was all the encouragement he needed. His hands roamed up your arms, his touch lingering at your shoulders before sliding to cup the back of your neck. He held you there, close enough that his breath brushed your lips. The necklace glinted in the moonlight as it shifted, resting between you as if waiting to make good on your challenge.

Leon's hand traced down your arm, guiding your fingers up to rest against his chest, just above where the pendant lay. "You know... you're pretty bold for someone who's not supposed to be tempting me out here," he murmured, eyes flickering to your mouth.

"Is it working?" you asked, barely able to keep the teasing note in your voice.

His response was a low chuckle, rich and deep, vibrating against your hand.

"More than you know." And with that, he closed the remaining space between you, his lips capturing yours in a kiss that was anything but gentle. His fingers tangled in your hair, his grip possessive as he pulled you closer, his other hand slipping to the small of your back, guiding you firmly against him.

You could feel the rough metal of the pendant pressing against your collarbone, a constant reminder of your earlier words, and it only fueled the heat building between you. His kisses were demanding, as if he'd been holding back for far too long and had finally decided to let go.

His hands began to roam, sliding over your sides, fingers tracing the lines of your body with a kind of reverent intensity that made your breath hitch.

Every touch was deliberate, unhurried, as if he was savoring each second, each inch of skin. His mouth moved along your jaw, his breath warm against your skin as he left a trail of soft, burning kisses down to your collarbone, right where the necklace lay. He paused, smirking against your skin as he whispered, "Still think this would look good above you?"

You couldn't stop the soft gasp that escaped you, his words sending a shiver down your spine. Your fingers curled into his hair as you tugged him closer, your voice breathless but filled with determination. "I think it's perfect," you murmured, your lips brushing his as you spoke.

The thrill of being here, in this dark, forgotten place, only heightened the tension between you both. His hands returned to your waist, guiding you down as he followed, his gaze never breaking from yours, filled with an intensity that left you breathless.

He leaned in, his lips finding yours again, the kisses growing deeper, more heated, as if nothing in the world existed outside of this moment. His fingers laced through yours, pinning your hands beside you as he kissed you with a passion that sent sparks through your veins. The necklace brushed against your chest, cool against your flushed skin, each sensation heightened by the danger lurking just beyond the walls.

"Leon..." His name escaped in a breathless whisper, and he met your gaze with a smile, his hands gently trailing up your arms, sending a rush of warmth through you. He pressed his forehead to yours, his breathing heavy, as he murmured, "I love you."

With a teasing smirk, you whispered, "Prove it." His answering smile was filled with promise, and as he leaned down, the rest of the world faded away, leaving only the two of you and the heat building between.

taglist: @444fernz @writingwisterias

banner: @cafekitsune

[boysbeware2]

all the old tptm girl journal entries w the new (if anyone wants to see them again and compare them)

please proceed with caution as many of these could be upsetting to read

disposable girl (jordyn)

(old)

i cant fucking stand this. i try so goddamn hard to make friends, to be attractive to people, to be even somewhat appealing to them etc etc. it never works. i thought it would get better the older i get. thats what i was told. guess what! i was fucking lied to!!! im alwasy left out of EVERYTHING i never get invited to shit and my own friends ignore me all the time. everyone looks at me weird. i cant go in public anymore im so fucking terrified of everyone. nobody fuckinf wants me, man. im so close to doing something stupid i feel so gross and ugly and dumb i should actually just die id be doing everyone a favor LOL

(new)

man, i havent been on here in forever. the internet is kind of dumb. what is there to say? my friend group celebrated our outpatient graduation anniversary the other day, that was pretty nice. we’re all trying to figure out housing stuff, nora’s been helping with that. freyja + mayra + kairi found a place already (how are they so responsible??) and the rest of us are trying to find places near them so we can visit more often. i never expected to have such a big group of friends. if you told me 2 years ago that i’d be living like this, i wouldn’t believe you. it’s still surreal to me. i’m not sure what i did to deserve them. same goes for my girlfriends. i don’t wanna say who just yet, we’re still figuring things out, but i’m just so thankful for them. i feel so lucky to have a second chance at life. i really didn’t believe people when they said it would get better, and then it did. how funny…..

irreverent girl (kairi)

(old)

I do not want God to see me anymore. I do not want anymore eyes on me. This is near unbearable. I have no one to turn to. My mother is in the church. Many of my friends are in the church. They would tell me to find hope through Christ. They would tell me to pray to Him. They would tell me that He will save me. He must not remember He made me, and if He does, He simply does not care. I know this is unbecoming of me, and I don't mean to be dramatic. I am simply depressed, nervous, and I cannot tell what's real and what isn't anymore. I know I'm supposed to hear God speaking to me, but I do not, and I am tired of straining my ears. I just want to see a doctor. I want some kind of tangible solution. I do not want to pray anymore. Praying hurts. I only do it when I am afraid, but I am afraid much of the time. I don't want to be unheard anymore. I do not want to hold out hope for someone who does not act like they're there. I am hurting. I am hurting. I am hurting. Belief is hurting me. The idea of God is hurting me. I need an out. I am hurting.

(new)

When I have a job and money and I can move away from my shitty Mormon parents

splitter girl (tahira)

(old)

theres something so broken in me thats beyond saving. so i dont know why i keep trying to be saved. i meant to kill myself when i was 18. i didnt. all ive wanted to do lately is kill someone or something. i havent. im too much of a pussy to plan anything concrete, no matter how much i hate everyone around me. no matter how much i get off to videos of people dying or how much i love cutting myself i cant actually take action against other people. i am fucking purposeless. i was born from evil and i will always be evil and i cant even live up to that. i hate myself i hate myself i HATE myself and the universe hates me too. i dont know what to fucking do at this point. i talked to one of my friends about wantingto die and they said smthn about hospitalizing myself. maybe. i dunno. i dont know what else there is for me/. my eyes are fucking burning from lookign at my computer for so long adn not getting any goddamn sleep. i am not a good person. i dont think i can be helped but i just dont wanna fucking keep goign to school and being around people and pretending like everything is norma;l. i cant keep doing it. what the fuck is wrong with me whagt happened. why cant i be loved or feel love for other people when did something change in me that switched the aggression and affection parts of my brain. im hyperventilating ill be back. maybe

(new)

getting myself onigiri from this one good boba place 2nite bc im 8 months clean���… its the little things~ ^^

fainéant girl (freyja)

(old)

i know i dont hate being disabled... i just hate being disabled in a society that makes existing difficult... but sometimes i really just dont want to be disabled anymore. i dont want my family to lecture me about how i could be helping out more, or how i should get a job. i dont want teachers to keep asking me whats wrong or the fuckin uni counselor to try to get me hospitalized. i dont want to be in so much pain anymore, to feel so exhausted that i cant even do so much as prepare food for myself, let alone do anything meaningful or fulfilling. its not fair. i shouldnt have to stay inside and sit in the dark all day,. i should be able to have friends. to talk to people and to go out with them and to feel like i am alive. its lonely and traumatic to suffer through this and on top of that no one around me understands, and they never fully will. i am tired of trying to justify my existence to everyone, to explain the pain that i am in and why i shouldnt have to experience it. i know the problem isnt me. i know i live in a world that isnt built for me. but if the world cant change then sometimes i truly feel that i should just stop living in it. my lifespan is already shorter than everyone else's anyways. what difference does it make

(new)

my qpps didnt seem to appreciate me playing Alien Kids Alien Rap for them. Do they even love me

caliber girl (nora)

(old)

唉～It is 3 AM and I should go to sleep but I can’t. I have a work zoom meeting early in the morning and I gotta hit the gym also because I haven’t done leg day in like… weeks. Oh well, it doesn’t even matter. My value is depleting but I don’t think I care anymore. The turnaround date for my code is also in a couple of days and I haven’t made any progress. I keep getting the same error and I’m too tired to figure out what’s wrong. I might get fired at this rate LOL(笑). If that happens, I think I’ll just consider ending it all. Not that anybody will miss me. God I sound so weak and pathetic right now. When did it get like this. How did it get like this. I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’ve been through worse before and this is nothing. Ugh, why is it so hard to breathe? My chest hurts and I feel like something is wrong but I don’t know how to make it go away. Should I call someone about this? No. No one is awake or around to help. I’ll be fine. I’ll just sleep it off. Shake it off… shake it off…

(new)

My Tamagotchi beeped during a meeting fml

chocolate box girl (morgan)

(old)

i thought i was doing better but i cant stop thinking about them. their touch, their interests, their smile, everything. the worst part is that i miss them, after all of what they've done to me. i was 13. i dont even feel justified calling it rape since our relationship was so muddy... they never yelled at me or was angry at me, they just got so sad when i tried to speak my mind, and got all my friends to hate me when we finally broke up. i never said no so i feel like im insulting actual survivors by feeling violated. i wasnt even trying to get into a relationship with them, it just happened... i feel like everyone around me wants me in the same way they did, even though im an adult now and i dont even try to make myself appealing. i wish i could trust people not to take advantage of me, and i feel disgusting and selfish for feeling like everyone has ulterior motives of getting me to fall in love with them, or worse. that's so self centered of me. i dont know how long i can keep doing this

(new)

girl help i cant stop looking at anime figures on japan yahoo auctions !!!!!

taxidermy girl (mayra)

(old)

I don't remember ever not having a sex drive, is that normal ? I was born and then it was all downhill from there, something happened to me sexually i think, I don't know what happened, because I don't remember much, but something happened and I was beaten for it and yelled at and my mother hated me, and now I am an adult and I try to have sex, and I'm not there mentally, even if my body is participating, I feel like I am in the past again, being beaten and yelled at . I want to keep trying, I want to have fun, to feel safe in someone else's arms, to reach the heights of pleasure, but my mind scares me so much, I haven't been able to eat anything today because I feel so horrified by my body . If I was good I would have been born as a nonsexual being, no parts, no desires, no instincts, a blank slate, too empty to be enjoyed . Do you know what it feels like, to have your mother tell you people want to sexually abuse you when you are a child, and then to be made fun of by your peers for being so ugly, to have your middle school and high school classmates joke about how much they don't want to have sex with you ? I am illicit and undesirable at the same time, I am everyone's last option, I am nothing and still too much, rotting deer meat on the side of the road . I wish I had been born as something beautiful and pure, I wish I could start over, that whatever that initial sin was had never been committed .. I want to start over

(new)

Went to a kink event the other night and everyone was so nice … The low lights were fucking with my vision so one of the hosts helped me navigate the place . I ❤️ you random disabled ally with a pup mask on

chemical girl (joy)

(old)

LMAOOOOO im too angry and miserable to be around. i think i just need to give up at this point because theres clearly like. something broken inside me that cant be fixed. that has 2 be it because i try to talk and i just sound cold, i try to make a joke and it comes out overly edgy and unfunny, i try to be like everyone else but its too much. i cant even be a collection of the positive traits i see in others, i try to replicate it and it comes out warped and wrong. im either fucking enraged or in abject misery or way too happy and nobody can keep up with me. the thing is i dont even blame them. i wouldnt want to be around me either. do u know what thats like? being someone you wouldnt want to know? i keep hoping that one day ill wake up and suddenly be normal, the mood swings will be gone and everyone will like me and i wont do stupid shit that pisses them off. but i know that day isnt coming. theres no hope for me and i want to say sorry to everyone who has ever had the misfortune of knowing me but i know it wouldnt do anything. theres nothing i could ever do to make myself right

(new)

i need to convince my gf to take me to Round One again soon

refraction girl (nataana)

(old)

i don't want to do this anymore. i'm going somewhere better

(new)

talked with my psych and i’ll be starting TMS soon, it’s some thing where they put magnets to ur brain and it’s supposed to treat depression.. trying to temper my expectations bc i’ve tried so many treatments that just do nothing for me, but i’d be lying if i said my hopes weren’t riding on this. i want to confidently say i’m glad to be alive. i feel like i’m getting closer to that

nurse parallel/machine girl (xiomara)

(old)

I am so excited... Tomorrow my experimental outpatient treatment plan begins!!! I'm beyond delighted. I have complicated feelings about my DID being in remission, but it's nice to feel stable enough to be in charge of something this big, and to not have terrible gaps in my memory anymore. I still don't remember everything that happened to me, but maybe I don't need to. At this stage of my life, I feel content. I can confidently say everything was worth it. I want to help others feel that way, too. I think I can.

(new)

I’m meeting up with a new friend tomorrow… I feel nervous, but it’s a good nervousness, I think!

[the-boy-meets-evil]

where you belong | kmg

(where the holidays bring you back to the person and place you need to be.)

pairing: mingyu x fem!reader genre: exes to lovers (lite) | fluff & smut rating: explicit, minors DNI word count: ~1.2k warnings: kissing, smut, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, unprotected sex (don't do this, they're in love), that's really it

note: SURPRISE EM! 💕🫶🏻 this is for my baby @gyuswhore for the secret santa event hosted by @camandemstudios. i was so happy to get you and i hope you're surprised that it was me. this was a lot of fun!

tag list: @tinyelfperson, @dokyeomkyeom, @miriamxsworld, @hongrizon, @klecksstorys, @gyuminusone, @aaniag, @straykidswhoo789, @kimseokgen, @beomesbabe, @haolistic, @vanishingboots, @babybae-shisui, @harrythepottypus, @okiedokrie, @nuttywastelandmentality, @writingbarnes, @tomodachiii, @gyuhao365, @jjin-kun, @divinityyyy, @dibidibidismynameisleeknow, @tinkerbell460, @aidanjoon, @cookiearmy, @tusswrites, @kaepjjangiya

There’s something about the holidays that always has you reflecting on the last year. It’s kind of a way for you to figure out what works and what doesn’t before starting fresh in the new year. The past year has been a blur of keeping busy and projects for work. It feels incredibly fulfilling in so many ways. All things considered, it’s been a really good year for you. 

Yet, you can’t keep your mind off the start of the year when you and your boyfriend broke things off. It isn’t some sad story of heartbreak or someone doing something horrible. You both just realized, as you spent New Year’s Eve apart because of work, that maybe it was a sign to give yourselves a chance at something different. Both of you agreed that it made the most sense. Life was pulling you in different directions and it felt like the time to really push forward in your separate work lives. 

If it’s meant to be, it’ll always find a way. You genuinely believe that. So, when your ex walks into the tiny little coffee shop two days before Christmas, you take it as something of a sign. You shouldn’t even still be in the city and this isn’t a coffee shop you’ve ever been to before. But, your travel plans got delayed and you’ve been meaning to try this place for months. His eyes land on you from his position by the counter and he doesn’t seem surprised either. Your heart constricts a little at that shy smile and the way his shaggy hair bounces as he shakes his head. 

“I can’t believe my luck,” Mingyu says when he approaches. “I figured you’d be gone.” 

“I had something come up last minute. I was supposed to leave last night,” you say and he smiles. 

“I’m not sure I want to leave at all now,” he admits. “I’ve been thinking a lot about you.”

“Yeah, same,” you admit. 

“I just moved and I actually live around the corner. Do you want to catch up?” he asks.

“Let me just get my coat.” 

Catching up goes from filling each other in on the last year to Mingyu cooking the best meal you’ve had in ages to lounging on the couch and laughing over silly shows. It’s easy to fall back into such a sense of comfort with him. Every part of you still seems to know every part of him. Some things you would have to explain to anyone else just instantly make sense to him. But, it feels different too. It feels like the last year has allowed you both to realize what’s actually important. Maybe it taught you how to better prioritize your time. 

Something else is easy, too. You fall back into bed with him without a second thought. This is different now, too. Sex wasn’t ever an issue, but he wants you to show him exactly what you want now. Wants it to be perfect for you. The kind of thing that you can’t ever get over. You’re not really sure you ever got over him the first time and you want to tell him you don’t plan to let go of him this time.

“I’ll teach you whatever you want to know,” you tell him. 

“Teach me how to be good for you,” he answers, breathless. 

And you do. Mingyu is a giver, always has been. This is more than that, though. This Mingyu wants to map your reactions to every little thing he does. He wants to watch the way you squirm when his tongue flicks against your clit just right. Wants to memorize the way your thighs squeeze his head when he licks into you. Even if it’s always been good, it’s never been like this. It’s never felt like he’s worshipping your body in quite this way. 

With a moan, your back arches against this bed and your hands scramble to find purchase on something. Anything. You try to keep up a stream of instructions like you said you would, but Mingyu’s also a very fast learner. It doesn’t take him long until his mouth is moving in the perfect way between your legs. Only take one comment for him to add a finger. Doesn’t need to be told how to hit you just right with those fingers. You’re a writhing mess and you’re not even sure that you can think straight anymore. He’s got you seeing stars as you come hard on his tongue and his fingers. 

“I’m not sure you need me to teach you anything,” you say after catching your breath for a second. 

Mingyu’s got a bit of a smirk on his mouth, still glistening a little. “Maybe I just like hearing you talk me through things when you’re coming undone.”

“Oh, it’s like that?” you joke back. 

“We can see if you need to teach me anything else,” he says with that sparkle still in his eyes. 

“You’re not done with me?” you ask and try not to sound too hopeful.

“No,” he says and kisses you before you can respond in any way. 

It always seemed crazy to you to think that someone could kiss you stupid. Until Mingyu kisses you like that after nearly a year apart. Until you remember all the kisses for every different occasion. Now it just seems crazy to think there’s anyone out there for you other than him. He keeps kissing you as he settles his body between your legs, hovering his body just over yours so that he doesn’t put too much weight on you. Keeps kissing you as he uses a hand to line himself up at your entrance. Keeps kissing you as he slowly presses into you. The pace is slower than you want, filled with all the things you’re feeling. All the affection and reverence that he’s always shown you. 

“Mingyu, please, I need more,” you finally moan out. 

And it happens like that again. He lets you teach him just the pace that you want. He lets you set the rhythm alternating between slow, languid strokes and hard, fast snaps of his hips. Everything else around you disappears. All you see is the love in his eyes as he takes you in. Everything about this moment is perfect. The absolute best way that you can imagine to end the year. Almost as good as him pushing you to a second orgasm just before he follows right after you.

It seems too early to be awake if the light coming in through the cracks in Mingyu’s curtains is any indication, but the smell of coffee wafts tantalizingly into the bedroom. You’re incredibly thankful that you changed all of your holiday plans to stay with Mingyu. It clearly isn’t just the post-sex haze that has you wanting to stay. Your heart is full to bursting with warmth. He’s always been it for you and you’re thankful that you get to spend another holiday with him. 

So, you pull on a baggy shirt Mingyu has lying by the side of the bed and slide out of bed. You walk over to the window to see what’s making it seem a little brighter outside. Amazingly, snow falls gently in beautiful, swirling patterns. The whole world is quiet and you know you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. 

I hope you enjoyed it ❤️

[anakinstwinklebunny]

i am on my hands and knees begging u to write more stalker!anakin with perhaps a bit of perv!anakin sprinkled in 🙇‍♀️🙏🏽

also wanna take the time to say i looovee ur work

PAIRING: modern!stalker!anakin x f!reader

Author's note: didn't know if you mean stalker!nerd!ani or just basic ani (but if you meant nerdy geek, don't worry, stuff is coming) OKAY NOT ME FORGETTING ABOUT MY SERIES OF STALKER!MAFIA!ANAKIN...

ANAKIN SKYWALKER watched you through the crack in the curtains, hand dragging slowly down the wall as if he could feel you through it. You’re sprawled on your couch, legs spread, completely unaware that there's a pair of eyes that devour you, making sure every detail is seared into his memory. The soft curve of your legs, the way your shirt rides up just a little too high, exposing a teasing glimpse of your stomach—it all has him dizzy with need.

"Perfect," he mutters under his breath, other hand twitching at his side.

It wasn’t supposed to get this far, wasn’t supposed to become a nightly routine, but how could he stop? You’ve got him hooked, like a drug he’d never want to quit. He knows the routine of your evenings now: the way you kick off your shoes by the door, toss your bag onto the counter, and wander into the kitchen, humming some off-key melody that somehow drives him insane.

Tonight was no different. He adjusts his position outside, leaning against the railing as you shuffle into the kitchen. You’re making tea, your favorite one. His tongue flicks out to wet his lips as he imagines stepping behind you, just making you feel loved, worshipped, cherished.

Your head tilts, brow furrowing slightly as your eyes scan the darkness. He steps back, hiding in the from the spot that could make you notice him, yet even from that position he caught unease in your gaze. It send a thrill through him, a delicious wave of knowing he’s gotten under your skin without even touching you.

His hand creeps down to his waistband, breath shaky as fingers brush over himself through the fabric. “Fuck,” he hisses quietly, watching as you lift the steaming mug to your lips. It’s maddening, the way you sip so innocently, as if you’re not tempting him beyond reason already.

Eyes shut for a moment, other hand curled into a fist, his forehead resting against it before his hand sped up, stroking himself to the most beautiful image playing before his eyes.

But then you do something he wouldn't ever expect. You pause mid-sip, glancing towards the window. For a moment, he freezes, pulse stopping in his throat.

Did you see him?

“Oh, sweetheart,” he whispers to himself, grin spreading over his lips “You’re starting to notice me, aren’t you?”

The thought of you lying awake tonight, glancing at every corner, your heart pacing with fear and all the imagines of what could happen--it’s almost too much to bear. He palms himself harder, biting back a groan as his fantasies take over. He imagines you on that couch, moaning his name, nails digging into his shoulders, and your sweet voice trembling as you plead for something you don’t even fully understand.

Would you fight him at first? Try to push him away when he finally stepped out of the dark and claimed what’s rightly his? Or would you give in, submitting to his devotion, finally realizing you were meant to be his all along?

A soft noise pulls him from his thoughts, and his gaze snaps back to you. You’ve moved to the living room now, curling up on the couch with a blanket draped over your legs. Doing nothing but scrolling through your phone, completely unaware of what's really happening.

Anakin lets out a shuddering breath, his pupils blown wide with hunger. He can’t stay out here much longer. The craving to touch, to feel, is clawing at him, burning in his veins like fire.

Soon - he promised himself - Soon you’ll know.

And when you do? You’ll never have to be alone again, he'll make sure of that

TAG LIST: @kingdomhate @divineani @haydensprettyprincess @skyguys-princess @catnipaddictt @heartscone @haydensbbg @inneedsoffanfics @jediavengers @literally-izzy @anisluvrgirl @slutforfinnickodair @xhunnybeeex @fuckmyskywalker @gallerygourmet @deceptiive @anakinskwkler @bimbo-baggins17 @cookybananas @emotionallybruisedx @diorvalentina @sevinax @throughparisallthroughrome @aniiuv @ritosparty @ninastyless @lily-strnlo @thesassypadawan @awhhayden @sydkneez @anisangeldust @l1ttle-misssunsh1ne

[ikkyfics]

Between Us

Dave Lizewski x reader x Todd Haynes

Summary: “I… I can’t choose.” “But… what does that mean?” he asked, leaning forward a little without even realizing it. “I mean…” You stopped, searching for the right words, even though your mind seemed unable to process anything beyond their proximity. “I mean I like both of you. In different ways, maybe, but… I can’t imagine choosing just one.”

Warnings: explicit language, mention of jealousy, mention of possession, multiple kisses, unconventional relationship dynamics, provocative language, light smut, sexual tension

A/N: I would be mentally, physically and emotionally incapable of choosing just one

my beloved @gingerteafairy, thank you for our conversations - seriously, girl, I love you <333

Masterlist

The evening was supposed to be relaxed, but Marty’s absence changed the tone of everything. You, Dave, and Todd were inseparable, and Marty, with his easygoing and carefree manner, always served as a kind of natural mediator for the other two. But now, as you walked towards Todd’s house, it was impossible to ignore the nervousness that was growing in your chest. Without Marty there to cushion the interactions, it would be just you in the middle of Dave and Todd—the two so different, yet equally irresistible. The thought already made the butterflies in your stomach dance.

The couch seemed even smaller than usual. You were squeezed between them, feeling the heat of their bodies so close. To your left, Dave, with his dark curls and blue eyes shining behind his glasses, held the bowl of popcorn with both hands, his fingers brushing against your arm with every movement. To the right, Todd, all relaxed with his messy brown hair and dimples marking his smile as he leaned casually on the couch, his knee almost touching your leg. There seemed to be not enough space for everyone, and the proximity created a palpable tension.

"Okay, let's settle this once and for all: better mentor—Batman or Superman?" Todd asked, with that challenging tone and a smile that seemed to carry a hint of provocation.

"Batman, for sure," Dave answered without hesitation, adjusting his glasses. He turned slightly towards you, as if seeking support in your answer. "He's a strategist, he has resources, he trains people. He doesn't rely on powers. It's about discipline, sacrifice."

Todd laughed, leaning forward and bringing his face even closer to yours. "Oh, right, because being a traumatized millionaire is super inspiring," he said mockingly, and the glint in his dark eyes was almost hypnotizing. "Superman, without a doubt. He's genuine, he really cares about people, and he doesn't need all that paraphernalia to be amazing."

You tried to focus on the discussion, but it was hard when the two seemed to be fighting for your attention with every sentence. Dave's gaze was steady and almost intense, while Todd's had that easygoing charm that made your heart race.

"I… I think they both have valid points," you said, trying to sound neutral, but the hesitation in your voice betrayed your nervousness.

"Oh, there's no point in avoiding the issue," Todd teased, smiling as he lightly patted your leg, his hand staying there a second longer than necessary. "C'mon, you know you're Superman."

"Don't let that get to you," Dave intervened, his voice calm but filled with a seriousness that made you stare at him for a moment. "Think about what really makes sense. It's not just about sympathy."

You tried to laugh to lighten the mood, but your mind was elsewhere. The proximity of the two of them, the looks, the small touches… It was as if each gesture was loaded with a tension that you didn't know how to deal with. For a moment, you let yourself be carried away by your daydreams — Dave holding your hand sweetly, his eyes shining behind his glasses as he whispered something that only you could hear. Or Todd, with that carefree smile, leaning his forehead against yours and making you laugh at something silly before losing yourself in his warm gaze.

The sound of the movie brought you back to reality, and your face heated up as you realized the direction your thoughts had taken. You quickly looked away to the TV, but not before noticing that Dave was watching you attentively, as if trying to decipher what you were thinking.

"Is everything okay?" he asked, his voice low and full of concern as he leaned in slightly.

"Yeah, sure," you answered hastily, but you felt Todd chuckle softly beside you.

"Yeah, but now you're blushing," Todd commented, his dimples showing off his smile. "Or did Batman make you like that?"

"It's nothing," you repeated, trying to sound more convincing, but it was useless. The tension in the air felt palpable, and Dave and Todd's close proximity made your mind race in all the wrong directions—or maybe right, depending on how you looked at it. Dave's arm behind you was a constant warm presence, and his fingers always seemed on the verge of brushing the back of your neck, sending subtle shivers that you pretended to ignore. On the other side, Todd maintained his relaxed posture, but his knee pressed lightly against your leg said something else, a small gesture that seemed much bigger in this context.

“Relax, we’re just teasing you,” Todd said, an easy smile on his lips as he reached out to grab a handful of popcorn. The movement brought your shoulder up against his, and the warmth of the contact made you hold your breath for a moment. He seemed to notice, and he glanced at you sideways, somewhere between amused and… attentive.

“It’s no big deal, you know,” Dave added, his voice a little softer. “You might like Superman better. But then… you’d be wrong.” He laughed lightly, and the sound made something in your chest tighten. He had that shy, awkward way about him, but when he spoke with confidence, it was impossible not to notice. He adjusted his glasses quickly, his eyes fixed on the screen for a few seconds before shifting to you.

You tried to focus on the movie, but his every move seemed amplified. The way Dave shifted his weight from side to side, his knee pressing into the couch and leaning slightly toward your side, or the way Todd casually rested his arm on the side of your leg, his fingers almost touching your bare thigh. It was all more intense than it should have been.

When you shifted, trying to find a more comfortable position, you ended up relaxing a little and leaning back, letting your shoulders lightly brush against theirs. The closeness was inevitable, but now you could no longer ignore the way their bodies felt so close, so warm. You tried to rationalize it—they were your friends, it was just the tight couch, nothing major. But your heart had another opinion, beating faster with each small movement they made.

Todd leaned forward to reach for the remote on the coffee table, and the movement caused his arm to brush against yours with a gentleness too deliberate to be accidental. "I think the next movie has a really clichéd kissing scene," he commented casually, but there was a hint of teasing in his tone that made your skin crawl.

Dave looked at him, raising an eyebrow. "Seriously? What movie doesn't have a kissing scene?" He tried to sound nonchalant, but there was a subtle stiffness in his posture that didn't go unnoticed.

"Oh, I don't know," Todd replied, shrugging with that annoyingly charming smile. "Some people like that kind of thing. I can tell who." His gaze met yours for a moment, and you felt your face heat up, as if he knew exactly what you were thinking.

You let out a nervous laugh, trying to divert attention from yourself. "Oh, please, that's like… mandatory in any movie," you muttered, feeling the weight of both their gazes on you.

When the fateful scene finally arrived, you held your breath. On the screen, the characters exchanged intense glances before kissing, and the mood in the room seemed to change instantly. The silence that followed was so heavy that you could swear you could hear the sound of hearts beating—including your own. Todd and Dave’s gazes were fixed on the screen, but you knew they were aware of the tension, too. How could they not be? The room felt smaller, the couch tighter, and the air heavier.

Without thinking, you shifted slightly, trying to ease the pressure of the moment, but ended up pushing your knee against Todd’s, who glanced at you quickly, a smile on the corner of his lips. “Enjoyed the scene, huh?” he teased, but his voice was huskier than usual.

“It’s just… well done,” you replied, swallowing hard.

Dave shifted beside you, adjusting his glasses again, his dark curls falling over his forehead as he looked down at you. “Clichés can be good sometimes,” he said, his voice low but filled with something that seemed deeper. “It depends on how they’re done.”

The silence between you felt alive, almost pulsing, as the movie scene played out, but no one was really paying attention. Your heart was pounding, and you knew it wasn’t because of the dramatic soundtrack on the screen. Every movement they made around you seemed choreographed to move you. The light brush of Todd’s arm against yours, the almost casual adjustment of Dave’s body to your side—it all felt calculated, even though you knew it probably wasn’t. Or was it?

“So…” Todd broke the silence, his tone playful but with something more underlying. He looked at you, his dark eyes shining with that carefree charm that seemed so natural to him. “If that were you on screen, who would you kiss?”

You nearly choked on the popcorn you weren’t even eating. “What?” Your nervous laugh came out more like a sob, and you tried to look away, but his face was so close, and Dave’s expression on the other side was just as intriguing.

“Between the two of us,” Todd continued, shifting slightly forward, his elbows resting on his knees, the closeness creating a tension that was impossible to ignore. “Who would you kiss?”

Dave shifted beside you, clearing his throat. “Seriously, man? What kind of question is that?” He tried to sound casual, but there was something in his voice, something that gave him away. He looked at you with those clear blue eyes, like he wanted you to say something—or maybe say nothing at all.

“Oh, come on,” Todd insisted, his smile growing, but his eyes fixed on you with intensity. “It’s just a question. Friendly. We’re friends, right?”

You laughed again nervously, your hand automatically going to your hair as you tried to stall for time. “I… don’t know. That’s… weird.” But your mind was far from neutral. The idea of ​​kissing either of them—both of them, if you were being honest with yourself—was something you had definitely considered, even if it was just a passing thought. Or not so passing.

Todd chuckled softly, but this time it sounded softer, almost like he was challenging you. “Okay, let’s make this easier. Have you ever kissed anyone?”

The question took you by surprise, and it took you a second to answer. “I have… I mean, yes. Once or twice.” Your voice came out lower than you intended, and you felt heat rise up your neck.

“Me too,” Todd replied casually, leaning back and resting his head on the couch again. “Nothing too serious, you know? Just… experimenting.”

Dave was silent for a moment, and you could tell he was nervous. His curls looked messier than usual, and he fidgeted with his glasses before speaking. "I… never, actually. Not really, anyway."

The room grew even quieter, if that was possible. Without realizing it, your eyes drifted to his lips, pink and soft, achingly inviting. He tried to hide it with an awkward shrug, his cheeks flushing as he caught your gaze. "It's never happened. Not with anyone who… mattered."

"Wait," you began before you could stop yourself, your voice sounding louder than you intended. "Never? Really?"

He nodded, and there was something so honest, so vulnerable in his expression, that it made your heart clench. You felt the words slip out before you could process them. "I could… you know. I could be your first kiss."

The atmosphere in the room changed instantly. Dave looked at you as if he wasn't sure he'd heard you right, his lips parted in surprise, and Todd, on the other side, sat up straighter, his smile fading for a moment.

"Would you do that?" Dave asked, his voice lower, almost hesitant.

“Sure,” you replied, trying to sound casual but feeling the words tremble on your lips. “That’s what friends are for, isn’t it?”

The silence after Dave’s confession felt almost tangible, so thick you could feel it in the air around you. Todd broke the tension with a soft laugh, but unlike any previous teasing, there was no cynicism there. It was almost… curious, as if he was genuinely interested in what was coming next.

“So you’re really going to kiss him?” he asked, his eyes fixed on you, filled with something that made your breath catch. It wasn’t just curiosity; it was intensity, desire. He was watching your every move, as if he wished he were in Dave’s place.

Your face burned, and you looked away, only to be met with the restless blue of Dave’s eyes. He looked just as nervous as you, but there was something else there too: anticipation. And maybe a little newfound courage.

“If he wants to…” you mumbled, your voice barely audible, biting your lip in anticipation.

“I want to,” Dave replied immediately, surprising even himself. He took off his glasses, tossing them on the coffee table, a gesture that should have seemed awkward but only made your heart race even more. “I mean, if you want to too.”

You nodded, almost mechanically, and then came the moment of truth. The two of you began to shift, trying to adjust yourselves on the tiny couch. Todd’s arm brushed against yours as he leaned in slightly, clearly not wanting to miss anything. Knowing he would watch this made your heart skip a beat.

“Let me give you some space,” Todd said, his voice low but still filled with that intense curiosity. He leaned back, his eyes never leaving you. You felt every inch of the couch, every brush of fabric, every ragged breath.

Dave turned his body toward you, and you did the same, your knees almost touching. Your hands were shaking a little, so you rested them on the couch to hide it. His gaze met yours, and for a moment, everything seemed to stop.

You were the one who moved first, your fingers gently cupping his cheek as you moved even closer, until there was no space between you.

The first touch of his lips was shy, hesitant. You felt his softness and caution, and your heart skipped a beat. You pressed your lips more firmly against his, your tongue asking for entry to venture into his mouth. Dave seemed to relax, leaning in more, returning the kiss with a confidence you never imagined he had.

You sighed against his lips, the world around you disappearing as he held your waist firmly, pulling you closer. Your hands found his shoulders, and suddenly you were on his lap, without even realizing how it had happened. The kiss was no longer shy. It was intense, almost desperate, as if you had both been waiting for this moment without knowing it.

You moaned against his mouth as you felt his hands grip your ass, pressing you tighter against him. Shit, how could he say he’d never kissed anyone? Your fingers quickly found his curls, tugging at them until you heard a scratchy noise in his throat.

You could barely think, barely breathe, but none of that mattered. You lost yourself in the warmth of his body, in the way he seemed to hold you like he’d never let you go.

A soft sound made you open your eyes suddenly, and there was Todd, clearing his throat slightly. You pulled away from Dave, both of you still breathing heavily, and looked at Todd. He was leaning forward again, his dark eyes fixed on you, shining with something that seemed like a mix of teasing and pent-up desire. You felt overly aware of your own body, your face hot as you realized Dave’s hands were still on your ass, but you did nothing to push them away.

“So,” Todd began, his tone light but with a hint of something that made your stomach churn, he shifted uncomfortably on the couch. "If you had to choose, I think Dave would be your choice, don't you?"

You remained in Dave’s lap, the feel of his hands around you almost comforting. But Todd’s words made your heart beat faster in a different way. You looked up at him, your lips still tingling from the kiss, and spoke before you could stop yourself.

“I’d kiss you too,” you said, your voice low but clear. “If you just asked.”

Todd’s eyes darkened immediately, and you saw a slow smile form on his lips, revealing those adorable dimples that always got to you. Dave was silent, but you could feel the tension in his body, as if he was processing what he had just heard.

Todd kept his gaze fixed on you, his expression filled with a mixture of surprise and disbelief. He tilted his head slightly to the side, as if trying to comprehend what you had just said. “Are you serious?” he asked, his voice deep and lower than usual, filled with a tension that you could feel in the air.

Your heart felt like it wanted to escape your chest, but you held his gaze, even as your cheeks burned with embarrassment and anticipation. You nodded, almost imperceptibly, before blurting out, in a whisper that seemed too loud in the silence, “Ask.”

The word hung between you like a challenge, like something you couldn’t take back. Todd chuckled softly, a deep sound that reverberated through the cramped couch. “Okay,” he said, leaning forward a little. “Then kiss me.”

Your stomach knotted with anxiety and excitement as you slid off Dave’s lap, feeling slight tremors in your legs. Todd’s eyes were fixed on you, following every movement as if he were under a spell. Dave, on the other side, remained silent, but the weight of his gaze was almost tangible.

When you were finally in front of Todd, kneeling on the couch, he gripped your waist firmly, pulling you onto his lap with an ease that made your heart race. Unlike Dave, Todd didn’t hesitate. He held you as if he already knew exactly what he wanted to do, and the first touch of his lips was intense.

You sighed, still tasting Dave in your mouth as Todd kissed you. His hands quickly moved down to your hips, adjusting you on his lap until you were straddling him.

You could hardly believe what was happening. Todd’s grip was different—firmer, more possessive. His hands slid around your waist, holding you with a confidence that made your entire body respond, as if you were made to be there.

The kiss was deep, almost desperate, and the world around you disappeared in a blur. You felt the heat of his body, the way he tilted his head to intensify the contact, the way he made you writhe on his lap.

His hand slid around your waist, without hesitation before squeezing your breast. Your thin bra offered no resistance against the heat of his fingers. “Todd,” you whimpered, feeling something flare inside you when he grunted his approval.

Your mind was spinning, torn between the intensity of the moment and the disbelief that this was actually happening.

When you opened your eyes for a moment, trying to catch your breath, you saw Dave watching you. He was fascinated, his lips slightly parted. His expression was a mix of surprise and… something else.

You didn’t have much time to process. Todd took advantage of the moment to slide his other hand to your hip, pulling you even closer. You didn’t protest, returning to the kiss with redoubled intensity, your hips moving against his every now and then unconsciously. The kiss didn’t have the same softness as Dave’s. It was intense, almost rough, but in a way that made you lose yourself completely.

You didn’t know how much time had passed. All you knew was that when you finally pulled away, the silence seemed even more deafening. Todd’s chest rose and fell rapidly, his dark eyes fixed on hers, as if trying to read every thought that passed through her mind.

And then came Dave’s voice, breaking the spell. “So… him too, huh?”

You blinked, your lips still tingling from the kiss, and turned to face Dave. He didn’t look angry or hurt, but the intensity in his gaze was hard to ignore. You opened your mouth to respond, but the words didn’t come out. Todd chuckled again, sliding his hands to rest on your waist.

“Let her breathe, Dave,” he said, his tone casual but still filled with something that made your skin crawl.

The silence in the room was so thick it felt like a physical presence. You could feel the heat of Todd’s hands still resting on your waist, and at the same time, Dave’s gaze burning into you. You didn’t dare look directly at him; you knew your mind was already a mess and that staring into those vibrant blue eyes would only make things worse.

Todd, on the other hand, seemed more relaxed, but the tension in his shoulders gave away that he was just as affected as you were. The way he held you, as if he was trying to memorize the moment, made your heart beat even faster.

Dave was the first to break the silence. “So… you really don’t have a favorite?” His voice was low, almost hesitant, as if he were treading unfamiliar territory.

You felt your face heat up even more. It was almost impossible to believe you were having this conversation, but after what had just happened, pretending nothing had changed seemed ridiculous.

“I… I can’t choose.” The confession came out in a whisper, and you almost wished you could swallow the words back. But it was the truth. “It’s impossible.”

Todd arched an eyebrow, a slow smile forming on his lips. “Impossible, huh?” He seemed to be enjoying seeing you so nervous, but his eyes didn’t give a lie. There was something else there, something deeper that he wasn’t willing to hide.

Dave, on the other hand, looked conflicted. He shifted on the couch, as if trying to find a comfortable position—and failing miserably. “But… what does that mean?” he asked, leaning forward a little without even realizing it.

His approach didn’t go unnoticed. You felt the space between the three of you shrink even further, the heat from your bodies almost suffocating. Todd seemed to notice it too, but he didn’t say anything, just kept his hands firmly on you, as if he was marking his territory.

“I mean…” You stopped, searching for the right words, even though your mind seemed unable to process anything beyond their proximity. “I mean I like both of you. In different ways, maybe, but… I can’t imagine choosing just one.”

The admission hung in the air like a bomb about to explode. Dave opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again, his eyes fixed on you with an intensity that made your throat dry.

Todd, however, laughed softly, the sound making your skin crawl. “So you’re saying we both have a chance?” He tilted his head to the side, as if challenging you.

“I don’t know,” you admitted, your voice barely audible. “I just know I like you. Both of you. And it confuses me, because… because I don’t know how to deal with it.”

Dave finally spoke, his voice firmer this time. “What if you didn’t have to choose?”

Your heart almost stopped. What did he mean by that? The look in his eyes left no doubt: he was serious. There was a vulnerability in his eyes that made your chest hurt, but also something that seemed determined, like he had already accepted the idea before you had.

Todd let out a short laugh, but it didn’t seem like he was mocking. He looked at Dave, then back at you, his eyes shining with something you couldn’t quite decipher. “That sounds like an interesting idea.”

You felt the air leave your lungs in a shaky breath. The couch felt even smaller, their bodies pressed against yours, each movement sending shocks through your body.

Dave, without realizing it, had moved even closer, until he was right next to Todd. His hand hovered in the air for a moment before landing softly on your leg, tracing lazy half circles on your thigh that made your skin crawl.

“Are you serious?” you asked, your voice thick with nervousness and disbelief.

Dave nodded slowly, his eyes never leaving yours. “Yeah. Maybe… maybe we don’t have to do this the traditional way.”

The intensity of the moment seemed to overwhelm every one of your senses. The heat of Todd’s body pressed against yours, his hands firm on your waist, and Dave’s gaze burning into your face were almost too much to bear. And yet, there was something incredibly addictive about the charged atmosphere, as if you had fallen into a fever dream you didn’t want to wake up from.

Dave seemed to hesitate for a moment, his eyes fixed on you with a mixture of nervousness and determination. But you couldn’t wait any longer. Before you could regret it, you leaned toward him, one of your hands landing on his shoulder as you pulled him into a kiss, never leaving Todd’s lap.

His lips were soft, hesitant at first, as if he was still trying to figure out what was happening. But that only lasted for a moment. As soon as Dave felt the firmness of your mouth against his, he seemed to gain confidence. The kiss deepened, becoming more intense. His hand moved up to your face, his fingers tracing your jaw in a touch that sent waves of heat through your body.

And even as you lost yourself in the kiss with Dave, Todd’s presence could not be ignored. His hands on you seemed almost possessive, his thumbs making lazy circles on your skin, as if he wanted to remind you that he was there too. The contrast between the two of them was mind-blowing: Dave’s gentle touch, the almost desperate kiss, and Todd’s steady strength, keeping you anchored in the moment.

And it was somewhat impossible to ignore the growing bulge in his pants, pressed deliciously against your pussy.

When you finally pulled away from Dave, your breath was caught in your throat, your lips tingling with the intensity of the kiss. Your eyes met his, so blue and intense that you almost lost yourself again.

But there was no time to process anything. Before you could even catch your breath, Todd was in motion. He leaned forward, his hand rising to the base of your neck as he pulled you into a kiss of his own.

The initial shock gave way to a wave of electricity that coursed through your body. Todd’s kiss was completely different: firm, almost fierce, as if he were trying to claim something he thought was his. He didn’t hesitate, didn’t leave room for doubt. The hand on the back of your neck held you in place, while the other squeezed your breast, his thumb teasing the hardened nipple.

You couldn’t help it. A gasp escaped your throat, and you leaned even further against him, your fingers gripping Todd’s shirt as you tried to find some kind of balance. Your body felt incandescent, as if every cell was vibrating with the intensity of the moment.

And at the same time, you still felt Dave. His gaze was palpable, burning into your skin, and when you opened your eyes for a brief second, you found him watching you with something between fascination and desire. It was impossible to ignore the tension he carried too, the way his hands were clenched into fists on the couch, as if he was fighting the urge to pull you back.

Todd finally pulled away, but not completely. He rested his forehead against yours, his heavy breathing mingling with yours. “What now?” he murmured, his voice husky, filled with something that made your heart race even faster.

You had no answer. Or maybe you did, but you were lost in the heat of them, in the whirlwind of emotions that seemed too much to bear.

It was Dave who broke the silence, his voice low and filled with something that seemed to be a mix of nervousness and determination. “This isn’t just a game to me.”

You stared at him, his words piercing through the fog in your mind. He sounded so vulnerable, so sincere, that it made something inside you clench. But before he could say anything, Todd spoke, his voice filled with quiet confidence.

“Not even for me.”

The weight of their words fell on you, almost overwhelming. It was impossible to deny how attracted you were to both of them, how being between them felt… right. Even if it was insane. Even if it was something you had never imagined.

“I…” You began, but your voice faltered. You looked from one to the other, feeling the intensity of their gazes, feeling as if you were in the middle of something much bigger than you could comprehend. “I…” you began again, feeling your throat dry, the words stuck somewhere between your mind and your lips. You looked at Todd, whose hand was still firmly on yours, as if he feared you would disappear. Then at Dave, who looked so vulnerable and, at the same time, filled with an intensity that made your skin tingle.

“How… how would this work?” you finally asked, your voice low, almost a whisper, as if you didn’t want to break the moment. But the question was there, hanging in the air between you, filled with tension, anticipation and something you barely dared to name.

Todd arched an eyebrow, a slow, almost challenging smile curving his lips. "Do you really want to know?" he asked, his tone low and heavy, as his fingers traced lazy circles on your waist.

Dave swallowed hard, but nodded. "Yeah… I think we need to talk about it. If… if everyone is really thinking the same thing."

You laughed softly, almost in disbelief, tasting the kisses still fresh in your mouth. "I can't stop thinking about it. How you guys taste… how it feels… right." The words slipped out before you could stop them, and a blush quickly rose to your face.

Todd let out a low laugh, somewhere between amused and pleased. "Then we're on the same page."

Dave looked less sure, but his hand moved toward yours, his fingers brushing against yours. The touch was hesitant, but full of meaning, as if he was trying to find the courage to move forward. "I just… I want to make sure this is something you want too. That we all want."

You looked from one to the other, your heart racing. "I do. But… what about you?"

Todd leaned in closer, his eyes fixed on yours with an intensity that stole your breath. "I think my actions have made that pretty clear."

Dave shook his head, a small, almost shy smile curving his lips. "Yeah. I do. But I haven't… I've never done anything like this before."

"Me either," you admitted, a blush heating your face.

Todd let out an amused sigh. "Well, it seems I'm the only one here who's ever thought outside the box. But it doesn't have to be complicated."

As he spoke, you noticed the three of them were leaning toward each other without realizing it, as if the growing tension was pulling them closer. The heat of their bodies around you was almost suffocating, but in a good way, in a way that made your skin crawl, as if the blood in your veins had been replaced by liquid fire.

“So… what happens now?” you asked, your voice low, almost trembling with anticipation.

Todd opened his mouth to answer, but Dave was quicker. He leaned in, his lips meeting yours in a kiss that quickly gained intensity. You felt his hands cup your face, his touch firm but incredibly tender.

But before you could completely lose yourself in the kiss, you felt Todd move. His hands on your waist gently pushed you back onto the couch. The newly imposed distance made a complaint arise in your mind, but it was quickly replaced by a sigh as you felt him position himself behind you. In ecstasy, you realized that you were trapped between them. The couch creaked in response, but no one showed concern.

You wrapped your arms around Dave’s neck, feeling his chest crush your breasts. You were still kissing him when Todd pressed his lips against the curve of your neck. Your back pressed firmly against his chest.

The world seemed to spin. You couldn’t separate one sensation from the other—the heat of Dave’s kiss, the firmness of Todd’s touch, the two merging into a whirlwind that made your head spin. When Dave finally pulled away, panting, it was Todd who took his place, pulling you into a kiss that was completely different: firm, full of control, but equally devastating.

The moment Dave’s lips brushed Todd’s was like time had stopped. Neither of you moved, your eyes wide as surprise hung in the air. You held your breath, feeling the weight of tension triple around you. There were no words, just the muffled sound of rapid breathing and the heat of your bodies so close together.

“That… was…” Todd began, but the sentence trailed off, replaced by a low sigh. He looked disconcerted, his eyes fixed on Dave, but there was no hostility there. Only confusion and something that felt like… curiosity.

Dave, for his part, looked equally stunned, the blush rising quickly to his face. “I… didn’t mean to,” he mumbled, his voice barely audible, full of embarrassment.

But Todd, instead of responding with words, let out a short, husky laugh, more of a whisper than an actual sound. “Relax, man. It was just an accident,” he said, but there was something about the way he looked at Dave—a mix of teasing and consideration that made him seem far more intrigued than he should have been.

You watched them, feeling trapped between them, both physically and emotionally. Their closeness was almost suffocating, but in a way that made your skin tingle. “Are you guys okay?” you asked, trying to diffuse the rising tension, but your own voice came out low and shaky, betraying what you really felt.

Todd looked at you, then back at Dave, before letting out a deep sigh. “Yeah. We’re fine.” He raised an eyebrow, his gaze fixed on you now. “What about you?”

“I… don’t know,” you admitted, laughing nervously, leaning against Todd’s chest as you tried to catch your breath. “This is all very… intense.”

Dave ran a hand through his hair, clearly still processing what had just happened. But instead of pulling away, he leaned in closer, his eyes searching yours. “But… well, it doesn’t feel wrong. Does it?”

You shook your head slowly, feeling your heart hammer in your chest. “No. It doesn’t.”

And, as if your words had broken some invisible barrier, Dave leaned in again, his lips meeting yours in a kiss that felt more urgent this time. His hands slid down your body, leaving a trail that seemed to burn your skin, before settling back on your ass, squeezing hard enough to make a moan bubble past your lips.

Before you could pull away, you felt Todd’s hands on your waist again, firm and warm, deliberately moving up until they cupped your soft breasts, kneading them gently through your thin blouse. The couch felt too small to hold all of you, your bodies moving together in an awkward but harmonious rhythm.

When Dave finally pulled away, panting, it was Todd who took his place, turning your face back for a kiss that was completely different—firmer, more demanding, almost as if he were trying to prove something. His hands teased your aching nipples, sending waves of pleasure through your body.

And then, before you could completely lose yourself in him, Dave was there again. The initial shock seemed to have faded, replaced by a strange, silent acceptance. They didn’t talk about what it meant, just went with the flow of the moment, the touches and kisses becoming a language of their own.

When you were too breathless, lost in the feeling of an insistent poke in your belly and another in your ass, your eyes closed for a moment. Just registering the moment, the way the heat had enveloped your body, the way you were deliciously pressed against each other.

“This is… insane,” you murmured between kisses, your voice broken by sighs as you tried to keep up with their movements.

“Maybe,” Todd replied, his voice low and husky against your ear. “But it feels right.”

Dave nodded, his fingers still firmly on your ass, adjusting it against his own growing bulge in his pants. "I never imagined… but, yes. It feels right." The three of you moved as if they were one, a tangle of hands and mouths, each touch, each kiss charged with an intensity that bordered on delirious.

You felt as if you were floating, trapped in a whirlwind of emotions and sensations that you couldn't and didn't want to control. Their tastes mixed together, their touches were a perfect blend of firmness and care, and the world around you disappeared completely. There was no room for doubt or regret—only the growing heat between you and the certainty that, somehow, it all made sense.

The insistent sound of a cell phone vibrating cut through the heavy air of kisses and panting breaths, but no one really seemed to care. Todd’s lips were on the curve of your neck, leaving kisses that sent shivers down your spine, while Dave held your face in a firm hand, his fingers brushing the line of your jaw as his lips took yours again.

You tried to focus, but the constant vibration seemed to grow louder and louder, almost like a reminder that was impossible to ignore. “My… my phone,” you managed to mumble, but your voice came out low, almost breathless, lost between the ringing and the heat radiating from both of them.

Dave let out a sound somewhere between a moan and a protest, his lips leaving yours just enough to murmur against your skin, “Ignore it.”

Still, you reached out with difficulty, trying to find the phone, while their caresses made it difficult to even breathe.

“Let it ring,” Todd suggested, his voice husky and low against your skin, as he left a soft bite on the side of your neck.

Dave let out a small laugh, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “It shouldn’t be that important,” he added, but the intensity of his lips returning to meet yours told you he clearly didn’t care.

You finally managed to pull out your phone, and the name on the screen made your stomach sink for a moment: Dad. Taking a deep breath—or at least trying to, because Todd hadn’t yet taken his lips off of you—you answered. “H-hey,” you managed to say, but the word came out in a shaky whisper, your voice cracking with the heat in your body.

“Daughter? Is everything okay? You seem out of breath,” your father said on the other end of the line, concerned.

“Yeah,” you replied, your voice slurred and shaky as Todd took the moment to place another kiss on your neck, this time with a teasing bite that made you let out a small muffled sound before you could stop yourself. Dave arched an eyebrow, a lazy smile on his lips. “I’m… I’m at Todd’s,” you said quickly, trying to sound casual, but your heavy breathing gave you away.

“Are his parents there?” your father asked, a hint of suspicion in his tone.

You hesitated for a moment, but felt Todd smile against your skin before whispering, "Say yes."

"Yes," you lied, the word coming out too quickly. "They're… t-they're in the... living room," you finished, stuttering slightly as Dave ran his hand down your side, his fingers tracing a warm line on your skin.

Your father seemed to consider the answer for a moment before continuing. "I just wanted to let you know that your uncle is here. He came as a surprise and really wants to see you. Come home when you can."

"My uncle?" you asked, your mind in a haze. Todd's soft bite on your neck and Dave's lips brushing your collarbone made it impossible to fully focus. "Oh… sure. I'll… I'll come back," you said, but the words came out broken, almost like a sigh, which only seemed to heighten the interest in Todd and Dave's eyes.

"Is everything really okay, honey? You're sounding… weird," your father observed, his tone more serious now.

"Yes, I'm… tired," you replied, trying to sound convincing, but another sigh escaped when Dave pressed a firmer kiss to your shoulder, and you had to bite your lip to hold back any sound.

"Okay, then come back soon. Don't be long," he said before hanging up.

You dropped your phone on the couch with a shaky hand, trying to compose yourself as Todd tilted his face up, his eyes shining with mischief. “You lied so well,” he teased, his voice low and full of amusement.

“I could barely speak,” you admitted breathlessly, your lips still tingling from the kisses.

“Maybe because we didn’t let you,” Dave said, smiling as he tilted his head for another kiss, his fingers already firmly on your waist.

“I have to go,” you murmured, though you weren’t sure if you believed it.

“Do you really?” Todd asked, his fingers stroking the back of your neck slowly and deliberately.

You didn’t answer. Or maybe you couldn’t, because Dave pulled you closer, and soon you were lost in them again, every touch, every kiss, making it seem like the world outside that couch didn’t exist.

The knowledge that you had to go was coming back like a slow but inevitable tide. You were there, between them, each kiss and touch so captivating that the world seemed to have stopped. Still, the weight of the cell phone in your hand and your father's voice echoed in your mind, reminding you that you had to get out of that feverish paradise.

With an effort that seemed almost superhuman, you began to move away, your body hesitating with every inch lost between the three of them. Dave, who had his fingers intertwined in the curve of your waist, tried to keep them there for a moment longer, while Todd, with his lips still so close to your skin, let out a hoarse sigh of dissatisfaction. "Are you sure you have to go?" he asked, his tone low and loaded with something that made your legs threaten to give out.

You nodded, although your hands still instinctively sought their touch, almost as if they were acting on their own. "I… I do," you answered, but your voice came out shaky, as if the very act of speaking convinced you otherwise.

Before you could stand up completely, you leaned in, leaving a soft kiss on Todd's lips, enough to feel the slight roughness he had, so familiar now. He smiled against your lips, almost challenging, as if he was sure you would change your mind.

When your eyes met Dave's, something sparked between you. You moved closer, hesitant but determined, and his fingers soon rose to your face, firm and gentle, guiding you for another kiss. Unlike Todd's, his was a mix of intensity and tenderness, something that made your chest tight with conflicting emotions.

As you pulled away, panting, you saw the two exchange a brief, almost complicit look, before turning their focus back to you. The marks they left began to burn lightly on your skin as you adjusted yourself to get up, and it was only when you absently ran your hand over your neck that you realized the damage they had done.

Your face blushed violently. “You… left marks,” you murmured, your voice tinged with embarrassment and something else they probably noticed too.

Todd tilted his head, a satisfied smile playing on his lips. “And you left yours too,” he replied teasingly, indicating the place where your own fingers had previously grazed his neck.

Dave laughed, a low, comfortable laugh. “Good luck explaining that,” he said, his tone laced with amusement but also something you couldn’t quite decipher.

Still dazed, you gathered your things, feeling their eyes follow your every move. When you finally reached the door, Todd was the first to stand, walking towards you with that familiar relaxed confidence. He leaned in for one last kiss, quicker this time but no less intense, as if he wanted to prolong the moment for just a second longer.

Dave approached soon after, his gaze warm and amused. “See you later,” he said, his fingers brushing your hand before he leaned in for another kiss. "See you," you replied, the word almost swallowed by the confusion of emotions dancing inside you. When you finally left, you could still feel their lips on yours and the marks, now not only on your skin, but also on your heart.

The door closed with a soft click, leaving Dave and Todd alone in the room. For a moment, silence reigned, interrupted only by the sound of their still uneven breathing. They threw themselves on the couch, their clothes slightly wrinkled and the marks of what had happened written on their faces — swollen lips, messy hair, and an unsettling glint in their eyes.

Todd was the first to break the silence, letting out a low, almost incredulous laugh. “Dude… what the fuck just happened?” He ran a hand through his hair, messing it up even more as he looked at Dave, his eyes still filled with a mix of amusement and surprise.

Dave was still processing everything, his gaze fixed on the door as if he expected you to return at any moment. “I… I don’t know,” he admitted, his voice coming out hoarse, almost choked. He brought a hand to his face, as if he needed to make sure he was still there. “That was… completely insane.”

Todd tilted his head back, letting out a long sigh, before looking at Dave with a smile that was half teasing, half pure fascination. “You do realize we just kissed the same girl, right? Like… fuck, while she was between us. That’s better than any porn I’ve ever seen.”

Dave blushed immediately, but didn’t try to deny it. “Yeah, I noticed, Todd,” he replied, his voice louder than he intended. He ran his hands over his face, desperately trying to make sense of it. “That was… different. And you didn’t even flinch,” he added, looking at Todd with a mix of accusation and something else.

“Neither did you,” Todd replied, a smirk appearing on his face. He shrugged, as if he was more comfortable with the situation than he should have been. “But seriously… did you feel it? Like, how she seemed to be… there with us? Not between us, but… part of it?”

Dave couldn’t help but remember the way their bodies seemed to mold together, as if everything made some strange, unexpected sense. “I felt it,” he admitted, reluctantly but honestly. “And that’s what makes me so confused.”

Todd turned to face Dave directly, his smile fading as he spoke more seriously. “So… what do we do about this? Because, man, I can’t just… pretend it didn’t happen.”

Dave shook his head slowly, his eyes returning to the couch, where minutes ago everything had happened. “Me neither,” he replied, his voice barely above a whisper. He licked his lips, as if he could still taste her. “I think we need to… talk to her about it. See what she thinks.”

Todd laughed lightly, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. “Yeah, because this isn’t going to be weird,” he said, his tone dripping with sarcasm. But the smile that followed was genuine. “If there’s one thing that’s clear, it’s that she’s just as lost in this as we are.”

Dave nodded slowly, his fingers drumming against his leg. “Do you think she… feels the same way? Like, that this is something that could work?”

Todd shrugged, but there was a strange confidence in the gleam in his eyes. “Only one way to find out, right? But man, if I know her well enough… I’d say she was as comfortable with us as she seemed.”

Dave stared at Todd for a long moment before finally letting out a shy smile. "This is crazy, Todd. You know that, right?"

Todd laughed, louder this time, throwing his head back. "Of course it is, man. But if we're going to do something crazy, at least it's with her."

They were silent after that, both lost in their own thoughts. But deep down, one thing was clear: whatever had started in that room, it wasn't something they were willing to abandon any time soon.

[hadesisqueer]

I’m here to be different from the trolls and actually ask you something interesting. Do you agree or disagree with Miguel and the canon events?

Oh boy. Alright.

I sympathize with Miguel, and I find him a very complex and interesting character who, even though he knows his methods are far from exactly right, genuinely thinks he's doing the right thing and everything for the greater good. But no, I don't exactly agree with him when it comes to the whole canon events thing.

I do think canon events are real to some degree, in the sense that they are things that the Spideys in different universes tend to experience. However, I do not think that they all have to happen and if they don't and things go differently then everything is broken and that dimension collapses. Mainly because the logic behind that is flawed.

Miguel explains that when he took over his dead counterpart's place, he broke canon. But what canon events did he even disrupt? He doesn't explain it. Unless his daughter was Spider-Woman there and his death was supposed to be her Uncle Ben moment, it doesn't seem like he actually broke any canon events at all. But his daughter was a little girl and she likely hadn't even been bitten yet, so it seems unlikely because it like the whole canon things happen after you're bitten. It doesn't make a lot of sense.

You can argue that Pavitr's dimension started unravelling after Miles breaking his canon event, but it doesn't make full sense, either. It seems like it took a while for his daughter's dimension to get destroyed after Miguel allegedly broke the canon, and Pavitr's starts immediately after? Right after the stunt the Spot, a multiversal threat with dimensional powers, pulled? Miles was right, it makes more sense to think that that was the Spot's fault than his.

Also, if according to Miguel, Miles should have never been Spider-Man and his whole existence goes against canon, how come his dimension hasn't been destroyed? How come Prowler Miles' dimension is still there if he wasn't bitten like he was 'supposed' to be? Absolutely no canon events have happened in Earth 42, and-- it's fine, no black holes? And why does Miles even have to experience canon events if according to Miguel he's an anomaly? Plus if we're being technical Peter Parker's Spider-Man already experienced those canon events, all that already happened to one of the Spider-Men in 1610, so why do they have to happen twice, now to the kid who again wasn't even supposed to be Spider-Man according to Miguel?

Even in Gwen's case. That's the most subtle yet clearest example of the fact that nothing really happens if canon is 'broken'. He quits and stops being captain. Which means that a canon event isn't going to happen now, because the police captain that was supposed to die was her father. And now he's not captain anymore. Did something happen? Did a horrible black hole open up and started swallowing everything the moment he said those words? No. Nothing happens. And Gwen realizes that, too. And that's when she fully confirms that the whole 'everyone has to experience these canon events by force or everything will go to shit' is actually a bunch of bullshit. Because canon was just technically changed, and everything was still fine.

Again, I think Miguel truly believes he's doing the right thing. But his logic is flawed and he's too blinded by his own grief and guilt to see that.

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC Hogwarts AU [pt. 2]

The second time they meet, Tim actually knows a little more than nothing about him.

He knows Daniel is Vladimir Masters godson, set to inherit the man's title, and he knows that his birth parents are both wizards, albeit eccentric ones. No one would tell him how they are eccentric, not to mention why.

He knows the boy is a second child among the three, and his older sister is going to Hogwarts next year while his younger one had just turned five. And Daniel himself is seven, just like Tim, which means they will be in the same year eventually. He doesn't know whether he likes that or not.

He doesn't know nearly enough about him to form an opinion.

What he does know, though, is that he absolutely doesn't like Samantha Manson.

Mother had met Mr. and Mrs. Manson at that same party that Daniel kind of ruined (Father's words, not his, Tim thinks that elephant trunks were an improvement), and, upon finding out that they have a daughter Tim's age, decided they should be friends. Which is how Tim found himself sitting in an offensively pink room on an uncomfortably soft pink couch that is threatening to swallow him whole, right across a girl in a pink dress and with a pink bow in her hair. Granted, they are all different shades of pink, but Tim still feels very out of place in his black pants and pale blue shirt with a tight collar.

However, the most unsettling part about all this is that Samantha hadn't said a single word in about ten minutes - so, since they were left alone in this horror of a room by their respective mothers - and Tim is fairly certain she hadn't blinked once, and she is glaring something awful at Tim. For all that he knows, she is probably coming up with a detailed plan of burying his dead body in the garden.

Tim honestly tried to start a conversation. Twice. The girl looked like she didn't even notice, so Tim just kind of resigned to his fate and decided to simply wait until this was over.

He really regrets not bringing a book with him.

Another few minutes pass in silence, interrupted only by some cheerful chirping of birds outside. And then, right as Tim starts to actually consider flopping down on the soft pillows behind him and falling asleep, he hears a knock.

Samantha turns her head to the window so quickly that Tim is afraid her neck will snap. But, as he follows her example and looks outside, he can't help but blink in surprise.

Daniel Fenton, wearing some kind of red jacket with a hood - definitely muggle by the looks of it - is hovering just outside the window. On a broom. They are seven, they are not supposed to have brooms yet! Or, at least, not the ones that can go all the way up to the window on the second floor!

"Bloody finally," Samantha rolls her eyes and jumps off her seat, nearly running towards the window, "What took you so long?" She demands an answer in a snappish tone that allows no excuses.

Daniel grins and shrugs, "Jazz almost caught me sneaking out," he explains, but his gaze is not on Samantha. Instead, he is looking over her shoulder, right at Tim, before asking, "Who's that?"

The girl turns around and scowls, "A boy that my Mum wants me to marry."

Tim sputters, feeling his cheeks heat up, but not out of embarrassment; it's mostly just frustration. She most definitely does not, they are seven, and their mothers can't be making plans like that!

Can they?..

Daniel laughs, bringing the broom closer to the window and setting one foot on the widowsill for balance.

"I would have invited you with us, but I only have one broom," he tells Tim, still smiling. Tim bites his lip.

He wants to go with them so badly. They look like whatever they are about to do is going to be way more interesting than Tim's whole life. But Mother will probably be upset, and-

"Don't bother, he is boring," Samantha huffs dismissively as she pulls the skirt of her dress up and climbs out the window, carefully holding on to Daniel's shoulder as she gets on the broom behind him.

For some reason, that makes Tim angry.

He sticks his chin up higher, straightening up in his seat and frowning. "I don't see how your inevitable fall from a broom is interesting anyway," he drawls, far more mean and uncaring than he wanted to.

"See? Boring," Samantha smirks, but Daniel just looks a bit confused and thrown off.

"I'm not gonna fall," he tells Tim with a certainty that makes Tim kind of want to apologize. But the girl behind him is still smiling like she won something, and Tim is not about to back down now.

"Live with that illusion all you want," he huffs and turns away, still keeping his back straight.

"Come on, Danny, let's go," Samantha urges her friend impatiently, and Tim is decidedly not looking in that direction. He doesn't want either of them to see him pouting. Also, maybe he just doesn't want to see them fly away.

But he still hears a quiet "Bye," from the window before the room goes back to silence, interrupted only by the chirping birds and rustling leaves.

When, mere moments later, Tim looks back to the window, both of them are gone without a trace.

—☆—☆—☆—

Visuals!

The offensively pink room and the way to escape:

Tim's opinion on Sam:

[Picrew]

—☆—☆—☆—

More notes on the people and the world around:

Mansons are, actually, filthy rich. They are a wizarding family, but they are way less concerned about blood purity than people expect them to be. A part of their business involves muggle products, and while they don't advertise it, they don't try to hide it either. Jeremy never attended Hogwarts, he was a Beuxbatons student, and Pamela was a Slytherin. Both of them don't exactly like Danny for separate reasons, but Pam likes to keep Vlad as a friend, and if that means letting Sam be friends with his godson, then so be it. She still tries to keep their contact to a minimum, but it's not like Danny - or Sam, for that matter - cares.

Janet and Pamela did not, in fact, plan to marry their kids; they just liked each other enough to have tea together and decided to combine it with throwing their children at each other. Although Pam does consider Tim a fitting pair for her daughter. Janet is of a different opinion.

The broom Danny took actually belongs to Jack - or, it belonged to him a few years ago, up until Danny realized the kiddie broom is not fun anymore. Jazz is constantly scared he is going to fall and break his neck, but Maddie thinks her son is good enough of a flyer. Besides, even if they did take the broom from Danny, he would just find a different thing to break his neck with, so Maddie just put a bunch of disillusionment charms on the poor broom so Danny won't be noticed by muggles and called it a day.

This is very much not the first time Danny comes to save Sam like she's a maiden in a tower. Also, Sam is not mean out of nowhere, she just likes Danny and hates sharing, and she is seven.

[<- part 1 | part 3 ->]

[spotlightlowlife]

IMPlying

Season finale was, fine.

What was expected really.

Can't say I didn't roll my eyes at Stolas being gloomy and ungrateful as others make efforts for him, particularly Blitzø but yet again all of IMP come to his rescue and there's not a shred of respect for the danger they put themselves in.

He had a massive nerve throwing down his notebook of 'fantasies' and trashing the office before charging off to see his daughter as if foregoing Blitzø and the modest little life he lives, after all this, forcing his way into Blitzø reality in the first place. All of this seems to imply passive blame.

This ofcourse happened while he was filling in for Loona as receptionist while the rest worked. I appreciate that we went back to work and we meet a dinner with a job request and there's a good joke that the request was to take out her husband who left her for a man resulting in Stolas having his drama shoved in his face.

It would have been good to spend a little more time with the sinner to see that she was in the wrong and for the moral high ground of IMP to be questioned more? Way too dismissive.

For all we know that husband could have been responsible for his wife becoming a sinner if you know what I mean, we don't know what happened to her.

Blitzø and Moxxie having a moment of shared understanding of why this isn't a good job to take on could look like a throwback to season one murder family but them no, it was all about Blitzø seeing himself and Stolas in two men with their children. What if this man had left his wife for another woman, would he be less empathetic? Ultimately nothing will change, if we see them at work in season 3 or a short, what are the chances that they include a clause to not do families or interfere in relationships? How could they vet?

We still don't know how sinners pay.

Also they're working on a holiday and missing out on a paid job because it's too close to home, even though Loona showed empathy to Blitzø and was willing to take in the job herself, which leads on to another thing...

More tell not show

Loona actually wanted to get out the office and do a job with the team.

Since when?

It really would have took two seconds once or twice in previous episodes to have her complaining about being stuck at the desk while they go out, maybe even reminding them that she has a hunan disguise, maybe then we could have found out when and how she learnt such magic and since when did she make friends? Her friends are very cute btw but when did this happen? Bee's sham of a party?

Seeing as she is supposed to be like a moody teen who us slowly growing up and learning to appreciate her dad, complaining more could have served as a reminder that there have been times where she could have had more responsibility. These recent episodes have had a habit of telling us new things out of nowhere after all this time.

Who has been consistent

I read tonnes of comments and the dislike for Octavia is astounding.

What did she do wrong?

She actually did everything right.

She saw for herself that her mother and uncle were enjoying Stolas's downfall, she wondered around her home and found her dad's pills, she came to the correct conclusion that he was always unhappy, didn't like Stella and was persevering for her, what's wrong with this, it's the truth.

He did go on to leave following his fling which he had been enjoying up until recently and we all saw him thirsting over Blitzø or arguing with Stella over quality time with his daughter on the few occasions we have seen her.

Furthermore she rescued Stolas and IMP.

And she didn't blame Blitzø for any of this.

I appreciate that she made a decision for herself and I'm amazed at the massive lack of compassion there is for her.

Her song sucked.

Also what was the confusing dialogue of Stolas trying to call for a month when we saw that he suddenly remembered that he had to talk with Octavia, who has a mobile and was seen with her phone alone, this was after Stella discouraged her from answering it, it wasn't ever confiscated?

And to not be forgotten for being stable

Why did the Millie pregnancy thing have to be so weird, miserable and the clifhanger like she was hiding something?

We watch her casually not get beaten down when it comes to being behind on the bills.

We see the teams lives in danger constantly.

We have watched her admit to liking attention.

We have seen how family oriented she is and dispite her family having no respect for her husband, she remains close with them and has both in her life.

Moxxie and Millie are constantly being pushed as the wholesome loved up couple and yes a pregnancy is a big deal that will change things but this maried couple are supposed to be kinky af and massively supportive of one another, so why was this so much more dramatic than nervousness? Should it not be a bigger deal that this character would seem gloomy? We heard none of Millie's conversation with her only friend sister.

We watched Sallie May's forced drama in the first short where Millie was supportive and didn't let herself be guilted and we watched Blitzø and Millie's (better late than never I suppose) backstory that showed how proud she was at how far they had come. Now she has a big secret and is it her pregnancy? Did she really need drama? Is this the only way she can get a story and we remember her during the break, to have her accompany all others in trauma?

[bonedo-enthusiast]

santa's little helper 𐂐◯𓇋 (klh)

desc: mall santa!leehan x mall elf!reader

warnings: smut, mdni!, perv!leehan (ofc), p in v, no protection used (no glove, no love 🫵), reader is mean but it's okay bc leehan is into it, degradation, praise, cute petnames, sexual acts in a public space (restroom), oral (reader receiving), sub!leehan, dom!reader, afab!reader, + lmk if there's anything i missed :)

wc: 2,842

you pulled the elf hat down again, annoyed that it kept drifting up on your head. you certainly didn’t feel very festive, the bright green clothing scratchy against your body anytime you moved an inch. in fact, you looked like you had come straight out of a christmas comedy, with your bored expression and your green pointed shoe tapping against the tiled floor.

your university had collaborated with the local mall for the annual santa pop-up, allowing college students to put work toward any necessary volunteer hours. you didn't have many other opportunities since your classes filled up a lot of time, so here you were, dressed in a tacky, too-tight costume waiting for the onslaught of kids to show up.

"perk up. elves aren't supposed to look cranky."

oh yeah, and there was that. or him, rather.

you turned around to fix the boy with a scowl. "the event hasn’t even started yet."

his response was that wide, irritating grin of his. "tsk, tsk… talking back to santa? do you want to be on the naughty list this year?"

kim leehan. of course he got the role of santa, being one of the most proactive students at the university. he was on the dean's list, president of the aquatic club, was apart of at least five other clubs, and was present at most volunteering events. he also happened to be incredibly annoying, always so egotistical. even if he was objectively one of the more attractive boys on campus, his personality irked you to no end.

you rolled your eyes and turned around, ignoring the chuckle he let out.

"lighten up. i'm just trying to look out for you–we’re going to start soon."

right. sure he was.

as if on cue, a gaggle of children ran toward the gated-off area like a swarm of hyperactive puppies. you quickly plastered on a smile and started by greeting the first one, instructing her to sit on santa's lap and tell him what she wanted for christmas. you stood in front of the line so no rogue child could enter, and watched as another elf wrote down the girl's wish. then you allowed the next child to enter.

your shift went by like that, rather monotonously, until the last child had gone through. 

"alright, folks! that's the end of today. thank you so much for your work. if you need me to sign a slip saying you were present, just let me know," the person in charge of the event said. "for those of you that don't mind, can you help us clean up the area for tomorrow's volunteers?"

you watched as the only other elf left, leaving you, leehan, and the event coordinator. you frowned but decided it wouldn't hurt to have some extra minutes of volunteer time, bending down and straightening the tinsel and fairy lights along the base of santa's chair.

"wasn't that fun?" leehan's voice came from behind you, startling you a little. "seeing all those happy children... it just made my heart melt."

"i guess. it wasn't fun having to keep the little ones out. they looked at me like i was their number one opp."

leehan let out a laugh. "well, that's okay. at least you look cute in your uniform."

you raised an eyebrow. "um... thanks?"

"it really suits you." leehan added, smiling down at you. "really accentuates your features."

you became more aware of how tight your costume was. they didn't have your size when you got to the event, them stating that they didn't order enough costumes. apparently they let all of their volunteers keep the costume when they were done as a token of appreciation. you now wished that was not the case.

"leehan, aren't you supposed to be helping me straighten things up?" you asked in an attempt to change the subject.

"fine." leehan said to your surprise. he bent down and helped you with straightening up the christmas decorations, then stood back up. "there. done."

"we should let the event coordinator know."

"they left." leehan said, gesturing at the gate. "probably going to do paperwork or something. we better head out."

you grabbed your backpack and followed him out of the gated area leading to the rest of the mall.

"i wonder why they stop the santa visits so early. the mall doesn't close for another three hours." leehan mused.

"the kids probably have an early bedtime." you said absentmindedly, looking around for the nearest bathroom so you could change back into your clothes.

your eyes landed on a large restroom sign and you immediately started walking toward it. you heard footsteps behind you and turned your head, seeing that leehan was following you. right, he probably wanted to change back into his clothes too.

you stopped at the restroom door, realizing that it was unisex, one stall. you turned around to tell leehan this so he could find another restroom, but he just brushed past you, opening the restroom door with a smirk. the door closed behind him, and you noticed that the door still indicated that it was vacant, meaning he didn't yet lock it. you scoffed.

was this a challenge?

you felt the familiar feeling of irritation and you let out a sigh. you had seen the restroom first, and you knew that the next restroom would probably be quite a few feet away. the itchy green fabric rubbed against your skin, as though making the decision for you. you pushed open the restroom door.

"okay, you freak. i found this restroom fair and square." you said with your hands on your hips.

leehan was leaned against the sink counter still in his santa getup as though expecting you. "oh?"

"yeah. so get out."

"or what?" leehan scoffed, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "what will you do if i don't?"

you let out another sigh, feeling disheartened and prepared to give up the damn restroom when your eyes trailed down and noticed the tent straining against leehan's pants.

"oh... my god. you sick freak." you said, scrunching your nose in disgust. "do you seriously have a boner right now?"

leehan pushed off of the counter, taking a few steps closer to you. "maybe. maybe not. why? wanna help me with it?"

"help you with it?" you sneered. "tell me, why do you have one in the first place? is it because of me?"

"yes." leehan said immediately, not an ounce of shame in his voice. his eyes softened even as he stood tall over you. "please... i want you."

"you sound pathetic." you said, although your tone had less bite than it previously did. in truth, his words sent a warmth straight to your cunt. the prospect of fucking him didn't sound entirely awful. in fact, the idea seemed almost enticing, and his pleading eyes didn't help.

you locked the door, sliding it from "vacant" to "occupied."

"you want me?" you chided, taking a step toward leehan, closing the distance.

leehan nodded eagerly. "yes. god, please, yes."

"unbutton your coat." you said while crossing your arms, unimpressed.

leehan brought his hands up to the fleece material, his fingers clumsily unbuttoning the coat one by one, leaving his chest bare. he didn’t even have a shirt on under it? you scoffed, wondering if he had somehow planned this.

leehan started to slide the coat off, but you stopped him. "did i tell you to take it off?"

"n-no..." leehan said with raised eyebrows, stopping his actions. "sorry."

“make it up to me. wanna touch me?” you gently pushed him so he was against the wall. 

leehan let out an involuntary moan, making your pussy throb. “yes, please… wanna touch you so bad.”

"mm well, since you asked so nicely..." you leaned forward so that your face was inches away from his. then you grabbed his hands and placed them on your boobs.

leehan began kneading them gently, his thumb running over your nipple through the fabric. you let out a sharp gasp at the contact and felt his dick get harder against your leg.

"you're so fucking hot..." he murmured, leaning forward to kiss you.

you kissed him back as you slowly rubbed your thigh against his dick. he pulled away with a moan, his head falling back. you took the opportunity to pepper kisses along his neck, sucking and leaving marks as you went.

"please..." leehan's voice cracked.

"hmm? please what?" you asked, reaching up to pinch his nipple.

"ah! f-fuck... please t-touch me!"

"i am touching you, leehan." you said matter-of-factly, squeezing his nipple again for emphasis.

leehan bit his lip. "w-want you to touch my dick, p-please!"

"i think i need some convincing first." you leaned back, leehan whimpering at the loss of contact. "make me feel good, then i'll consider it."

"i'll make you feel good... make you feel so, so fucking good."

"then do it." you said with a scoff. "or are you just all talk?"

leehan smashed his lips against yours, pulling you into him. the kiss was messy, with saliva mixing and short breaths of air. he tugged on the hem of your shirt and you took the hint, breaking away from the kiss to tug the shirt up and over your head. your bra followed soon after, the cool air hitting your already perky nipples.

"fuck..." leehan breathed, staring at your chest. "so fucking pretty."

before you had the chance to feel shy, leehan resumed kneading your tits, paying special attention to your nipples. you threw your head back with a moan as leehan swirled his tongue around your nipple, using his other hand to rub against your clothed clit.

"oh fuck, leehan..." you groaned, biting your lip.

"feel good? do i make you feel good?" leehan asked, looking at you intently.

"so good, leehan. so good, just as you promised." you didn't miss the way that leehan's dick twitched at your praise.

you felt your orgasm building fairly quickly just from his hand and fingers alone, your body betraying you. "l-leehan, i'm gonna cum."

"wait."

you froze, eyes wide as you looked at leehan. oh god, was he uncomfortable? did he realize how crazy this--

"i want to taste you." leehan said, a dopey smile on his face. "please, y/n. please let me eat you out."

and how could you deny that?

you quickly slid out of your green leggings, tossing the damned elf hat off while you were at it. leehan sunk down to the floor, face-to-face with your pelvis. before you could take off your panties, leehan reached forward and pushed your panties to the side before grabbing your waist and pulling you toward him. you gasped as he dove face-first into your cunt. as he nibbled on your clit, you swore you could see stars. leehan's tongue lapped inside you as though his life depended on it.

"nngh... l-leehan, fuck! s-slow down, i'm not gonna last!"

"don't want you to." leehan managed to get out between sucking on your folds and panting. "want you to cum."

his words pushed you over the edge, your vision going blurry as you came in his mouth, just as he wanted. as your vision came back, you panted and leehan peeled himself from you, a sheen of your cum on his chin. he licked his lips and wiped his chin with his sleeve, grinning up at you. "that was so hot. you taste so good, baby."

you ignored the way the pet name made your heart flutter. "now then... i believe it's your turn."

leehan's eyes grew wide as though he had forgotten about himself. he hastily stood up and shucked off his pants along with his boxers, his dick springing up proudly.

you let out a chuckle. "looks like someone's excited to see me..."

leehan nodded, sucking in a breath, "i need you, y/n."

"need me, huh? tell me, do you do this often?" you spit in your hand before reaching forward, grabbing his dick and sliding your hand down it.

he let out a choked moan. "n-no, just you..."

"oh? just me? so what, you've been thinking about me?"

"mmh... yes, y-yes..."

"and what have you been thinking about?" you ran your thumb over his slit, causing him to throw his head back in pleasure. "nasty things, i'm sure."

leehan didn't respond, instead letting out more lewd moans. but his flushed face told you everything you needed to know.

"i'm right, aren't i? you're such a fucking pervert." you said, speeding up your pace.

"n-n-no!" leehan managed to choke out.

"don't you lie to me. i could stop, you know." you said, doing just that. leehan's cock stood in your hand, the tip weeping and red.

"no! p-please!" leehan begged, almost manically. "please don't stop, please please--"

"then don't lie. you've been thinking nasty thoughts about me, haven't you?"

leehan's lip quivered. "y-yes... i have..." he looked like a hurt puppy, shame spread across his cheeks in a pink dust.

you felt a pang in your heart at the poor, pathetic boy in front of you. "tell me what you've been thinking about."

"w-what?" leehan bit his lip nervously.

"tell me or you won't get to cum." you said firmly.

leehan let out a soft sigh. "i just... thought about you fucking me. you... finding out about my feelings toward you and..." he trailed off, his blush deepening. his feelings toward you? you felt your lips tug into a smile, finding the sentiment endearing. but you’d have to revisit this later.

you resumed jerking him off at the same rapid pace you were previously, causing him to moan loudly. "so you wanted this to happen? i wonder how many nights you spent jerking off to the thought of me fucking you. how pathetic..."

"w-wait... w-wanna be inside y-you... please! please..." leehan whined out between moans.

you stopped your ministrations on his cock, feeling the growing wetness in your cunt. "oh, you want to be inside me, huh?”

leehan nodded insistently, eyes wide and pleading. “please, y/n, please…” 

“aww…” you cooed, raking your free, unsoiled hand through his hair. “let’s switch spots.”

the two of you shifted so that you were against the wall and you finally pulled off his coat, admiring his arms. “alright, pretty… do you think you could help me keep one of my legs up?”

leehan visibly melted a bit at the nickname. “yes, i think so.” he lifted your right leg up with one hand, using the other to steady himself against the wall.

you placed your hands on his shoulders, placing a kiss against his jawline. "alright, whenever you’re ready."

leehan nodded and licked his lips, moving your underwear to the side once again before slowly pushing his girth into you.

"oh, f-fuck!" you moaned, wrapping your arms around leehan's neck.

once leehan's dick was buried inside you, he promptly pulled out and slammed back in, eliciting moans from both of you.

"you're doing so good." you cooed in his ear, sucking more marks into his skin.

his pace quickened, the sound of flesh against flesh filling the room. his movements were so needy, so impatient. if you weren’t equally as needy, you would have teased him about it. 

"nngh... f-fuck, y/n... so wet..." leehan's voice came out breathy. "i think i'm g-gonna cum..."

"already? we just started." you said, trying to keep your voice steady. "you really can't last any longer? too excited to get your dick wet?"

"c-can't... help it!" leehan's eyes squeezed shut, his thrusting getting inconsistent and sloppy.

"that's okay... you're just my cumslut, aren't you?" you said, raking your nails against his back.

"fuck... y-yes, i'm your-- cum-- i'm cumming!" leehan choked out before you felt a warmth gushing inside of you, filling you up. you followed soon after, his orgasm fueling your own.

leehan gently pulled you off of him and helped you lean back against the wall, your legs a bit wobbly. "fuck, y/n... that was so..." he trailed off, grinning at you from ear to ear.

you felt your face grow warm, becoming aware of your nakedness. "um... yeah."

"so... i don't want things to be awkward between us." leehan said softly. "so um... would you maybe like to go out with me? i was kinda hoping for something more beyond the physical."

"oh, so there some innocent thoughts scattered among the dirty ones?"

leehan's blush returned. "uh... yeah. i would say there were quite a few. innocent ones, i mean!"

you laughed. "yeah, sure. i'll go on a date with you."

"really?" leehan beamed at you, his eyes nearly disappearing with how big his smile was.

"yeah... but first let's put on some clothes, hmm? and by clothes, i mean our regular clothes."

"what's wrong with the santa costume? it seemed to get you going." leehan said, wiggling his eyebrows.

you wrinkled your nose. "um, no. incorrect."

"liar. i bet you loved being santa's little helper."

"gross." you groaned. "you're such a freak."

leehan grinned. "so i've been told."

a/n: i was at the mall w @blueberrybeomgyu & @escapistgarden when berry was like omg mall santa fic as a joke and then ofc i couldn't stop thinking abt it 😭 im SICK but it's okay bc i made this :p i cant believe how long this turned out... im used to writing drabbles but slay ig. anyway, if ur reading this, tysm for ur support! <3 hope u enjoyed :) also, merry christmas! (if you celebrate <3)

[hephaestiions]

day 21 of @hprecfest — a fic rated M | previous recs

author rec! more importantly: tacky rec! evocative, poignant & mature (heh), @tackytigerfic's works are charmed slices of aching life. tacky has a gift for making a meal out of the mundane: their style is imbued with the hush of a glade, something quiet that burrows under your skin and expands there. writing about magic lends itself to the excitement of outlandish predicaments— fuck or die marriage bonds, werewolves, time travel— but i love how tacky takes these improbabilities as opportunities to explore the vulnerable and common humanity that fuels love, friendship, desire, grief. i'd take a chance on tacky's spin on every ship, every trope & every circumstance, purely because i'm convinced they'd take as good care of me as a reader as they do their brilliant, complicated, messy characters.

i chose tacky's M-rated works because i think they best demonstrate how narrative pleasure can, and often does, lie outside the graphic. for an action-oriented, fast-paced reader like me, fics that hold my attention through careful tension & hard-earned payoff are especially enthralling. everything tacky writes, regardless of rating, is glorious & an instant recommendation, but when i think of especially fascinating work with a rating that doesn't usually hold space in my preferences, it's these:

between the power lines (M, 3.2k)

For Harry Potter, all roads eventually lead to Draco Malfoy.

an elaboration & attestation to my personal maxim: to fall in or out of love with someone, take a trip with them. glory be that these two do, glory be that it's the former. this fic stretches and softens with every word, like resin in the sun.

the long fall (M, 3.6k)

It's supposed to be a simple house renovation, and maybe it's just the paint fumes, but Harry is feeling dizzy around Draco Malfoy. And what's the real meaning of family, anyway?

vignettes from a life & love that glow hotter with every change. every word exchanged carries the weight of so much history, care & consideration. the dynamic is sweet & achy, a take on new parenthood that leans entirely into the uncertainty & joy of changing realities.

last offices (M, 6.7k) (mcd)

It didn't seem fair that Malfoy was dead, and Harry was supposed to just keep on living without him.

i reread everything before reccing, but i couldn't bring myself to reread this one because of the sharp, acute devastation of it. pain, regret, grief, dialled up to the extreme and done shatteringly well. the non-linearity of this fic is especially cruel; the heartbreak is never allowed to settle. 100% recommended!

our little life (M, 7.2k)

Sometimes Harry dreams. Only they're not really dreams at all, and Malfoy is always in them. It's time travel, but not as we know it, and Harry just needs a good night's sleep.

entire lives woven into snippets of togetherness, the call of something distant yet inevitable. harry dreams of universes with draco, which is to say, harry dreams of universes where he's loved. also includes the absolutely stellar line: Harry wondered if there was any possible universe in which Malfoy wasn’t an absolute dick about his dad.

take the moon (M, 15k)

Harry Potter has always wanted a family of his own, and when a deadly blood curse forces him into a marriage bond with his best friend Draco Malfoy, it looks like he might just have found one. This isn't the story of the marriage. This is the story of two hurt and damaged men who learned how hard they could work for the sake of love.

two men who don't quite know how to allow what they want fully into their lives, a slow crunch of yearning, the even heat of a dynamic that holds itself away from the brink, brilliantly satisfying when they give into the fall.

in conclusion: a stellar author with a flair for the understated whose works call to be savoured. as always, if you love them (it's tacky, who doesn't?), let me know!

[solxamber]

Hiii! for the Holiday Event! (feel free to ignore if it gets too busy, put yourself first^^ <3)

Ramshackle, "For you, anything" with hurt/comfort?

Thank you in advance, and happy holidays! <3 (btw I looooooooooooooooooove your writing so much; I just keep returning to your 'holding and not letting go' and I SPECIFICALLY LOVE HOW YOU WRITE LEONA!! And take breaks wheneverrr you feel you need it; don't burn yourself out, and let stuff take all the time it needs <3<3<3<3)

thank you so much and I will 🫶🫶🫶

First Priority || Rollo Flamme

For the Holiday Event! || Prompt: "For you, anything" ; Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Rollo wasn’t one to abandon his duties. His entire being was wrapped up in responsibility, discipline, and control. Every decision he made was meticulous, every action planned to perfection. That was why, when you heard the door of the infirmary burst open with an urgency unbecoming of his usual composed self, you were certain you were hallucinating.

“Where are they?” His voice was sharp, like a blade cutting through the sterile silence.

The nurse startled at his entrance, and you winced from where you sat on the cot, clutching your arm. “Here,” you called weakly, watching as Rollo’s eyes locked on you and softened—only slightly.

He crossed the room in swift strides, kneeling by your side in a flurry of pressed fabric and worry. “What happened?”

“It’s not that bad—” you started, but Rollo’s piercing gaze silenced you. He turned to the nurse with the same intensity.

“How could this happen under your watch?” he demanded, his voice tight with frustration. “Were they not supposed to be safe?”

The nurse raised her hands defensively. “It was an accident. They’ll be fine. But I need to disinfect the wound—”

“Then do it,” Rollo snapped, his jaw tight. “I’ll stay.”

You blinked. “Rollo, aren’t you supposed to be at—”

“I don’t care,” he interrupted, his tone firm. “You come before anything else.”

His words hit you harder than the injury had. This was Rollo, who lived and breathed the structure of events, who would rather die than disrupt the schedule of an important gathering. And yet, here he was, abandoning it all for you.

“Rollo,” you whispered, your voice wavering as the nurse carefully cleaned your wound. “You didn’t have to leave.”

He glanced at you, his expression softening for a brief moment before his stern mask returned. “You think I could stay there knowing you were hurt? Impossible.”

“You’re being dramatic,” you said, trying for humor to hide how much his words meant to you.

Rollo didn’t laugh. He reached out, carefully brushing a strand of hair from your face, his touch lingering for just a second. “You don’t understand,” he said quietly, his voice trembling with something raw. “You are my savior, my light. For you, anything.”

The sincerity in his words left you speechless.

The nurse, seemingly sensing the moment, quietly finished patching you up and left the room, leaving you alone with him.

Rollo stayed kneeling by your side, his hand now holding yours gently. “You shouldn’t scare me like that,” he murmured, his eyes meeting yours with a rare vulnerability. “Promise me you’ll be more careful.”

“I’ll try,” you said, your voice soft. “But you can’t leave important events every time I get a scratch.”

“If it means you’re safe, I’ll leave a thousand events,” he said firmly, squeezing your hand.

You couldn’t help but smile, your heart swelling with something so tender it hurt. “Thank you,” you whispered, squeezing his hand back.

Rollo nodded, his lips quirking up into a small, rare smile. “Always.”

Masterlist

[kaija-rayne-author]

DAV is maximized (made for?) Tank/Warrior players

Curiosity is absolutely one of my fatal flaws. I was sorta feeling shitty about the whole 'you probably just suck at the fighting system in DAV' thing.

Let me preface this with saying that I'm good with rogues. It's my usual playstyle and I almost always do a first run of any RPG as a rogue.

What I'm really not all that good at? Tanks. Pretty much any other class I'm at least suitably competent with. I mean, I can tank, but it's just not something I'm more than acceptably good at. I also have very little experience with them. I think I've tanked in 3 games? Out of the, it must be hundreds, of games I've played? I just don't prefer to tank. I'm a rogue/mage/healer style player. The one who backs up the tank or keeps them on their feet, y'know?

So, because curiosity will likely be the death of me at some point, and despite never wanting to touch it again, I made a warrior character in DAV. I just... had to know if it was me or the game. I suppose I enjoy actually being a good gamer more than I suspected. DAV offended my pride, perhaps. Self-awareness isn't comfortable.

That fighting system, that I had so much trouble with as a rogue (with other rogues and a mage as backup since we don't get our tank companions til later in act one) has, so far, been so fucking easy as a warrior I'm actually thinking of increasing the difficulty level.

I suppose I should have seen it before. The rest of the companions you start with are all support characters. Two rogues and a mage. Your first companion you aquire is Bellara, also a rogue.

DAV is just maximized for warrior players and people who like to bash barrels in, not any other class. Which is just shitty game design.

I dunno, I'm going to run this character until I get to the spot (when Harding receives her special ability) where I first wanted to rage quit as a rogue. But so far? I haven't died once. I'd gotten creamed numerous times as a rogue character by this spot in the game. I can go toe to fucking toe with a fucking ogre! And only have to heal once!

It's truly ridiculous. I'll test out mage after, if I can find the patience. It's reasonably unlikely that I'll actually decide to finish this run. Unless I do it for writing my fix it fic reasons . But I can kinda see more clearly why some people actually liked it. It's actually almost fun as a tank.

I did also say I'd never touch DAV again too, though, soooooo.

If you turn your brain completely off, don't give a shit about the Lore, and if the story is a back seat sort of thing for you as a gamer, this might actually be somewhat fun. It's not Dragon Age regardless, they screwed the pooch to sell the pups on that one. (I'm a Lore fiend, story and character first player. I legitimately don't give a shit about the fighting in RPGs. It's a back seat thing for me. As long as I can make it work, I'm good.)

SMDH

I said DAV was wickedly unbalanced in my review series, but I didn’t think it was so bad that they... just didn't bother to make it a fun game for rogue players. Despite them getting rid of half of what makes playing a rogue fun (sneaking, hiding in shadows, picking fucking locks, y'know, rogue stuff.) Not sure about mages yet. I do want to try one just out of pissed off, irritated curiosity, though.

Snorts. They made this game for warrior players. And I can't honestly find words to describe how shitty that is. It lacks most of the stuff that makes any RPG an actual RPG. It's maximized for warriors and people who like to destroy barrels. (Why. Why the fucking barrels?) Rogues are nothing but light skirmishers. I'll have to actually play a mage and see, but I've talked to people who said it's easy as a mage, too.

WTAF does BioWare have against rogue players to nerf the class so badly?

I'm honestly floored by how easy this game is as a warrior. I'll even test it out on max difficulty, (which is usually what I play at, max or one down).

But the shittiness of designing a game mostly for tank players can't be ignored. I changed nothing but the class. And I'm not far enough into the game yet for build to matter that much. I think I've gotten roughly 5 skill points to put into my character.

No wonder they denied game keys to honest reviewers.

[agrlsname]

Thank you @therealsaintscully for the tag! I'm soon about to post what might be my very last fic, so it's quite fitting to look back on my journey now.

How many works do you have on ao3?

38 – all Johnlock, except for one GO fic. On New Year's Eve I will post number 39!

What’s your total word count?

371,360 (will soon top it off with another 221 words ;))

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

What Friends Do (by FAR), Who I Really Am (personal fave), The General Idea, Coldness/Heat, Tomorrow's Song

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

At first I responded to every single one! And I still try to respond to every single person. But now, I sometimes only respond to the last one if it's a reader who's commented on every chapter and I get all the comments at once. I like staying connected to the readers, that's one of the most fun parts about fandom!

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

It has to be This Is Your Song. I mean, there's another one within a series that end in an angsty cliffhanger, but MCD surely has to take the prize?

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Oh my, nearly all of them have happy endings – so what would count as happier than happy..? Maybe it's actually the one that isn't posted yet – stay tuned for the resolution of the New Year's Kiss series!

Do you write crossovers?

Nope. I've written a fusion though (Johnlock and Moulin Rouge!).

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yup. Some people get really angry at John in What Friends Do and they take it out on me. It's interesting because many MANY others adore the story with all their hearts! I even wrote a sequel from John's POV just to try to get people to understand, but the haters didn't understand anyway.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Even though at the beginning I said I'd never, half of my works are now rated E or M. What kind? Um, is "emotional, gay sex" a genre?

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Many of them, into five different languages! Coolest thing ever.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I think I'm too pedantic for that. I've loved working with my beta on some poem translations, though, that The Sky is Full of Fiddles is based on.

What's your all-time favourite ship?

38 fics – you all know it's Johnlock, right? There are others that I love, but nothing can ever compare.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I don't have WIPs! I'm too much of a control freak and perfectionist when it comes to writing – I want to be able to change the beginning when I'm writing the ending. I don't even have unpublished WIPs – I hate the idea of leaving works unfinished. If I was still in those first years of writing frenzy, when I was single and didn't have a child, I'd have expanded on This Time – but as it is, I knew that I wouldn't have the time to do it justice. So I purposely ended on a cliffhanger that would still allow it to stand on its own the way it is.

What are your writing strengths?

Emotions, according to my beta! If you ask me, I'd say describing things – often emotions, I suppose – in new, poetic ways that play on different senses and therefore make them immediate. It's something I love reading myself, anyway, so it's something I've been practicing for... well, decades now. I'd like to think I've gotten at least somewhat good at it.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm weirdly bad at coming up with the small details that aren't important, but needed. A recent example is I needed a character to text another with an invented problem to try to get him to come over. It wasn't at all important what the problem was, but it also couldn't be just anything; it had to be in line with his character. I could not for the life of me come up with this problem myself – eventually my husband did it for me. So those kinds of details in my stories are rarely from my own brain!

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Hmm, well, I've tried not to do that. As a reader I find it annoying to have to look things up, or scroll down to the notes. I have three fics in which characters aren't English; in This Is Your Song I added a couple of "Bonjour"s for flavour, which is about as far as my own French knowledge reaches... In the Fiddles series they're Swedes and speak my mother tongue, but I've written everything in English except for the words that English doesn't have (like for example "polska", a kind of dance), and at the very end, some song lyrics that are then translated into English in the end notes that come immediately after. I did want to add that song for flavour, but I didn't want it to be annoying.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Johnlock! I started in the aftermath of season 4 back in January 2017 and then couldn't stop.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

I'm wondering whether I will come back to fic writing at a later point, but for another fandom. I've long wanted to write more for GO, although I already have written one fic. It would probably be a lot of fun to write for OFMD too. Doctor Who maybe? I don't know, it intimidates me to write for a new fandom where I don't yet know the characters as well as I know Sherlock and John.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

This question is too cruel! There are so many of them that I love. Maybe I have to say The Sky is Full of Fiddles, after all – it holds such a special place in my heart for many reasons that go beyond the story itself (although that's true for several fics). Other faves are Your Daughter, The Zebra Sheets and of course Who I Really Am, which I'm liking enough to turn it into a novel I'm now trying to get published. See, I couldn't pick one!!

I'm on Tumblr way too sporadically to have any idea of who's already done this and who hasn't, so I don't dare tag anyone... Feel free to take it and tag me if you feel like it!

[winchestergirl2]

Ok, here we go...

He knew it was over. You’d never pick him. He wasn’t the love of your life. He wasn’t your once in a lifetime. He wasn’t true love.

Oh, Beau, honey, don't be so sure about that! Totally in character for him, though.

“That was the hospital here. They said someone brought in my husband.”

Beau killed the engine in the parking lot. Both of you sat there in silence and petrified in time, two fossils buried deep in the earth and uncovered by archeologists with fine brushes millions of years later.

Such powerful imagery!

“I don’t know if I’m ready to see him. I don’t know if I’m ready to see you with him,” Beau confessed.

Oh Beau 💔

What were you supposed to do, though? Reject the man you married because it would break the heart of the one you currently loved?

What an impossibly hard position to be in 😔

Randy said with a genuinely happy grin. He seemed like a kid who was catching up with all his friends on the first day of school after summer break.

This makes me so sad for Randy. He's coming across as the same gentle, happy, understanding man he was before (probably a lot of faking going on, after all he's been through). He has no idea yet how much has changed.

Beau...

“It’s okay. I get it. Trust me. I do. He’s your husband, and I’m just… Well, I’m nothin’,” he said, his voice laden with heartbreak.

💔💔💔💔

He replayed the clips of the hospital in his mind over and over again. How Randy held your hand. How he touched your cheek. How he kissed you. How he looked at you when he first saw you – like he had finally found the piece of his heart again that he lost years ago, the same love in his brown eyes that had been there since day one.

He was so busy watching Randy. Did he even notice her struggle?

“You ain’t nothing.”

OMG, I love this. She went after him!!

I could feel the need and desperation they have for each other and the 'I need you. I want you' moment... perfect!! A moment of sweet reassurance amid an incredibly hot moment.

Your heart was the North Star, and your heart had led you to him. When you left the hospital, there was nowhere else you wanted to go, no one you wanted to see more. Your heart had only ached for him.

This is beautiful 😍

His nose brushed yours as he looked deeply at you. You could see the despair drowning in his pine green eyes, his emotions overtaking him.

My heart ❤️‍🩹 I can picture this so clearly.

“Pick me. Don’t go,” he begged in a harsh whisper, your flushed face in his warm palms.

Aww, Beau. It reminds me of that scene in Grey's Anatomy...

I really hope she means that and she does pick him.

Polaris – Chapter 9

Series Summary: When Beau Arlen moved to Montana, he left behind a past he wasn’t proud of. But when a series of murders requires the FBI’s help, Sheriff Arlen‘s ghosts come back to haunt him one by one. With a wrong turn waiting at every crossroads, it’s hard to make the right choices and find his way back home – back to you.

Pairing: Beau Arlen x FBI Agent!Reader

Warnings: 18+, ramp up the angst, guilt trips all around, hospitals, bits of fluff in all the chaos, smut (with a heavy dose of more angst)

Word Count: 5.4k

A/N: Well, there was no way this wasn't going to be angsty af. Enjoy the ride, loves! 😘

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Chapter 9: Marooned

The cool, breezy autumn air whipped you across your face, a sharp, frigid sting in your lungs that burned right through to your heart. Each breath you desperately clutched was a fight for life.

Your mind, moonstruck and lunatic, spun complicated cobwebs. Your feeble body and fragile bones threatened to crumble and crack underneath the devastating weight of the truth. You crouched down on the parking lot asphalt, head heavy in your shaking hands.

“Hey, hey, just breathe…” Beau’s deep voice and warm hand on your back were a short-lived comfort before the first sob broke through you.

He knelt down in front of you, large hands cupping your head when your own grew too tired to hold it. He rested his forehead against yours, green eyes leveling with you. His thumbs wiped the tears from your cheeks.

“Maybe it’s not him,” Beau bargained, his voice a soft whisper. His disavowing mind refused to accept what his breaking heart knew to be true.

However, there was no doubt in yours. “No, I’m sure it’s him.”

“It still might not be true… It could be one of those CGI deep-fakes. You know, they’ve gotten crazy good… She just wants to mess with us,” Beau tried to reason, every bone in his body fighting to accept the truth. Because as soon as he would acknowledge it, he’d lose you. How could he live with that?

Your eyes lifted from the ground, your gaze boring into his. “You really believe that?” Your voice was harsh enough to break through the solid brick barrier he had erected over his heart, your words a wrecking ball. A jittery and hesitant lick of his lips was his abdication. He lowered his head in resignation. “How’s that even possible? You saw him die, right?

Beau’s mouth opened without an answer, his eyes flickered alive with memories. Panic rose with realization and poisoned the pumping blood that coursed through his heart. “I-I saw him get dragged away… I heard the shot.”

He was sure. He was so, so, so sure. And then, it all fell apart. What had he done?

You straightened up, slipping out of his grasp, and clasped your mouth, turning your back to him as your body rattled with shock. “Oh my God… Oh God…”

Beau rose to his feet behind you and swallowed harshly as the realization hit him like a freight train. He wanted to reach out and touch you, needing you now more than ever, but he didn’t know if he still could. His mind raced a mile a minute with questions he couldn’t find an answer to.

How was Randy still alive? Had the cartel kept him all this time? How did Diane find out? And how the hell did she get a hold of him?

“Y/N, I-… I don’t know what to say.” His voice trembled. He could feel you drift further and further away from him till you were just a dot out on the vast ocean. He didn’t want to lose you but didn’t know how to stop it, either. He thought all he needed was for you to just look at him, and it would all be right again. But when you did, it shattered his heart into a million pieces.

“All this time he was alive and God knows where. I-I could’ve looked for him. I could’ve helped him…”

“You didn’t know,” Beau said softly, pushing your blame onto himself. He could’ve known. He should’ve known. He felt helpless, lost, adrift. “Y/N, what d’you want me to do?”

You needed a moment to clear your head enough to think straight. If it wasn’t Randy but any other victim, what would you do next?

“We need to find that bunker. Get him outta there,” you concluded. “You think he’s still alive? You think she’d kill him?”

Recalling the snippet of the video, you remembered the timeline only read an hour instead of the usual forty-eight. It wasn’t about making you suffer through his death because you’d already done that. Diane just wanted you to see.

Beau knew there were only two possible options. Either Diane caught Randy only to show he was still alive and then kill him, or she brought him back into your life to wreak havoc. But the hows and whys didn’t really matter. Both options would cause a rift between you two wider than the Grand Canyon. If Randy was back, dead or alive, Beau’s relationship with you wouldn’t survive it.

He knew it was over. You’d never pick him. He wasn’t the love of your life. He wasn’t your once in a lifetime. He wasn’t true love.

He was your second choice. The one you were stuck with. Your rebound.

“I don’t know,” Beau replied and forced some oxygen into his lungs. He didn’t know for how long he had held his breath. For a minute there, he had forgotten how to breathe at all – and he didn’t even care.

The ringing of your phone broke both of you out of your haze and fatal fantasies. You fished it out of your pocket and stared at the screen with a furrowed brow.

“Who is it?”

“Unknown caller,” you replied before you answered the phone, pinning it between your shoulder and ear. “Hello? Yes, this her…”

Beau watched as your eyes widened, how your brow rose, how your mouth fell open, how your heart stopped. As you hung up, he could see you swallow before you found his eyes. He waited with bated breath for news he already knew.

“That was the hospital here. They said someone brought in my husband.”

The stone silent ten-minute drive to the hospital felt like an eternity. Beau drove, his grip stiff and knuckle-white around the steering wheel. The heat of the old Jeep had barely kicked in by the time you arrived, your hot breaths coming out in vaporizing clouds as you bit your nails bloody and down to their beds on the passenger’s seat. Neither of you spoke a word, too terrified it would cut the last string between you that still tied you to each other.

As the bright sign of the hospital came into view, your heart thudded in your ears, so loudly you could barely hear the world around you anymore. Everything was subdued and distorted as if someone was holding your head underwater. All you wanted was air, but your lungs flooded with water.

Beau killed the engine in the parking lot. Both of you sat there in silence and petrified in time, two fossils buried deep in the earth and uncovered by archeologists with fine brushes millions of years later.

His gaze drifted up to the star-filled sky, green eyes locked on the North Star. He wished he could rewind the tape to that night, all the way back to the start where the two of you were still alive. His eyes then swerved to your hand that lay there untouched on the edge of your seat, his own palm twitching to hold it in his.

“You want me to come in with you?” Beau asked carefully.

It was the first time since you’d left the Sheriff’s Department that you looked at him again. Your eyes were pleading. “Of course I do. Please don’t go. Don’t let me do this alone.”

Then, you saw it – the flicker of relief that flashed through him. You recognized the insecurity and apprehension in his eyes. Your heart dropped. You had been so consumed by the news, you hadn’t noticed how he had spiraled. You clasped his hand tightly in yours. He squeezed it desperately back. He was drowning, and your touch was the lifeline he had been waiting for.

“I don’t know if I’m ready to see him. I don’t know if I’m ready to see you with him,” Beau confessed. He had endangered his best friend, deserted him, and left him to die. And that wasn’t even the worst he’d done. The worst was you.

“Me neither,” you admitted and interlaced your fingers with his. “We’ll take it step by step, okay?”

He nodded.

As the nurse sent you down the hallway to your believed-to-be-dead but actually only-long-lost husband, you didn’t know what to expect as your hand lingered on the door handle.

Beau could not only feel the tension in your body but physically see it. The stiffness in your neck and shoulders, the tremble in your hands, and the twitch in your eyes were a dead giveaway.

As you felt Beau behind you with a hesitant palm resting on your lower back, you wondered if you should tell Randy. You supposed you had to at some point. And suddenly, you felt overwhelmed.

You had been so focused on what awaited you in that room, you hadn’t thought about what your husband expected. Or was it ex? Did he know you had moved on? Were you still allowed to? Would he be happy for you? Would he let you go? Would he hate you for it? He probably would, considering who you ended up with. Or maybe you had it all wrong, and he would be relieved it was someone he loved, too. Wouldn’t you be if the roles were reversed?

His death had severed your ties, but now that he was back, were your vows, too? Did he even know everyone thought he was dead? Had you cheated? Was that what Diane had been trying to tell you? That you had sinned? That you were a liar? That you were awful? That you were a whore?

“Should I-, uhm…”

“No,” Beau answered your dangling question as if he could read your mind. He dropped his hand from your back and ceased all contact, even going as far as taking a step back. If you hadn’t known any better, you would’ve thought you were radioactive. That should’ve been answer enough. “Not yet, at least.”

“Okay.” The rejection hurt, but you understood. This was hard for him, too. Maybe even harder. You had to weather the storm alone, ship-wrecked and marooned on a desolate island.

“You wanna go in alone first?”

“No.” You shook your head and pushed down the handle, suddenly feeling more courageous and determined than before.

You barged in. Not gentle. Not slow. The urge to see him, face to face within the same four walls – after all these years, after all the tears – washed over you like heavy rainfall. You didn’t want to weather the storm – you wanted to be it. It felt safer than to seek shelter under driftwood.

Then, your heartbeats halted. The world around you paused. No murmurs in the hallway, no beeping machines or bustling footsteps. It felt like you were standing in the eye of the hurricane, everything else flying fast around you, but the center was calm.

As you stood there, feet calcified in front of his bed, a set of familiar whiskey-colored eyes found you. The slightly furrowed brow above them softened, his lips parted in awe. He still looked the same, only slightly aged by the years and what he’d been through.

“Randy?” Your voice was a quiet tremble but still filled the entire room.

A smile flickered alive on his face. “Hey,” he said, his own voice raspy and dry as if he hadn’t had water in several days. Deserted like he had been. His hazel eyes lit up, full of love and adoration. It was the same look he had always worn when he gazed at you. For a second, it felt like nothing had changed. It saturated your frozen heart with warmth and your gray and bleak vision with technicolor.

“I-I don’t know what to say,” you stammered with a thick swallow.

Randy snorted a bit. “Now, you know how I always felt,” he quipped, blinking the tears in his eyes away. He’d always been a ray of sunshine. He was light and sweet and good down to his bones. A part of you had expected that light to fade, though, considering what he must’ve experienced the last few years. But it hadn’t. He was still shining as bright as ever, his spirit untouched by the darkness that had tried to swallow him. “Are you just gonna stand there like a moron?”

A small laugh escaped you as tears began to sting your eyes when he spoke those same words you once had said to him. You wanted to cry when you heard them. What sliver of doubt remained in your mind that it wasn’t truly him vanished upon his words. Your feet wanted to move forward, but your heart tugged you back.

You glanced back over your shoulder and found Beau, standing with lovelorn patience by the door as he watched the exchange between you two. The muscle in your chest then stung, like someone had dropped it into a pit full of cacti. You felt torn in two, pulled into opposite directions.

Randy followed your gaze and finally noticed his second visitor, his brow shooting up in surprise. For a second, Beau felt nervous as he awaited a reaction. He expected resentment, hatred, blame, and anger. What he got, however, was a rising smile.

“Hey, man.” Randy seemed happy to see him, not an ounce of animosity detectable. “You two realize you’re staring, right?”

“‘S good to see you, Randy,” Beau managed to say and forced a quivering smile to his lips. And it wasn’t a lie. A big part of him was elated to have his best friend, his old partner, his brother back. But he couldn’t ignore the gnashing, lethal wound in the shape of you that Randy’s return caused.

Carefully, you stepped closer and let out a nervous breath as you sat down at the edge of his bed. He reached out and tenderly caressed your cheeks, brushing a few strands of hair behind your ear. A smile curved his lips as soon as he touched you again. It felt like he was holding a miracle while you looked at him like he was a ghost.

“You look good, sweetheart,” he said. His hand then slid down your arm to hold yours, fingers brushing over the one. His gaze dropped when he couldn’t feel what he was looking for, the tan line of the missing item around your ring finger still visible. Pensively, he licked his lips. “They told me everyone thought I was dead.”

“Yeah, uhm, that’s kinda my fault. I’m sorry, buddy,” Beau said and swallowed harshly. The sight in front of him almost took him out. Even though it was a familiar picture, one he had seen a million times before, seeing it now was a different story. After everything he knew, you in someone else’s arms that weren’t his felt like a bullet piercing through his chest. His heart was bleeding. “I thought you got shot.”

“It’s okay. Don’t blame yourself, man. It was crazy in there. It could’ve happened to anybody. I did get shot. Only the slug went straight through the shoulder,” Randy explained. “Cartel then took me to Mexico. Juárez.”

Your wide eyes wandered to Beau, the two of you sharing a horrified look. Randy had been right underneath your noses this entire time. You could’ve saved him.

“You were in Juárez? We were there, too,” you muttered in shocked realization.

“Oh, I know,” Randy said, surprising you both. Your heart beat faster, accelerating to lightning speed and close to jumping out of your chest. Did he already know about you and his best friend? But he answered your question before you could ask it. “Cartel talked about a task force moving in on them. I overheard them once. Said my old partner and wife were looking for me. When y’all got too close, though, they moved me further south. There’s nothin’ you coulda done.”

“What did they do to you? How are you still alive?” you asked and didn’t want to sound ungrateful for it, but you were completely baffled. You had too many questions racing through your mind.

Randy chuckled a little at your line of questioning. “You’re still the same.” He smiled and tore your heart apart, because you knew you weren’t. Not really. “I think they thought they could keep me for leverage. Trade me at some point? They held me in a basement at first till they moved me south. Kept me at farm of some cartel member. It wasn’t highly guarded, but even when I had opportunity to flee, I didn’t know where I was or where to go. I thought they’d either kill me or give me back at some point, but then months… years passed. I gave up hope they’d ever let me go. And then, one night they threw a bag over my head and I woke up in some weird bunker… in Montana. Apparently. Anyone wanna explain what I’m doing here? How did you guys get here so fast? They only brought me here a few hours ago. Had to convince them a little to find and call you since they thought I was dead.”

“I was already here for a case. There’s a crazy serial killer lady who took you. That’s who locked you into that bunker,” you explained and watched his brow crease.

“Huh.”

“I work Major Crimes now. It’s a long story,” you added quickly. You didn’t even know where to start. How could you recap three years?

“Really?” His smile was back. This time, it was a proud one. “That’s good. You always wanted that.”

“Yeah.” You blushed a little and gave him a small smile in return.

He squeezed your hand, his gaze flickering to your missing ring on your finger once more. “So, uhm… since everyone thought I was dead, I guess we’re not married anymore, huh?”

Your heart exploded like he had just deposited a grenade inside of it. You averted your gaze to your joined hands. “Uh, Randy���”

“No, hey, it’s okay, sweetheart,” he quickly soothed and chuckled to lift your worries, and you weren’t sure if it was a real smile or just one for your sake. “I’m just trying to catch up, you know? Get up to speed. ‘Sides, if we’re not married anymore, we could have a second wedding. Might be fun, right?”

Tears gathered in your eyes as you tried to smile through the pain. “Uh, yeah.” You nodded and hoped he couldn’t see your reluctance.

Randy then stretched his neck and pulled you closer, his lips meeting yours in a slow and chaste kiss that felt like your first. Tears of happiness mixed with sadness as they rolled down your cheeks. When Beau softly cleared his throat, you broke away from Randy, your cracked heart shattering into sharp daggers that sliced through your skin. What were you supposed to do, though? Reject the man you married because it would break the heart of the one you currently loved?

“I-, uh, I should go. Let you two catch up,” Beau said uncomfortably. The crestfallen look on his face destroyed you. “I’ll keep the press away from this for as long as I can. Lord knows they love a good back-from-the-dead story.”

“You can do that?” Randy arched a curious brow.

Beau pulled his jacket back a little and tapped the badge on his belt. “Kinda the sheriff here.”

“Wow, congrats, man. You deserve it,” Randy said with a genuinely happy grin. He seemed like a kid who was catching up with all his friends on the first day of school after summer break.

Beau gave him a tight smile that said he didn’t think he deserved it. But only you could read that one. “Uhm, thanks, bud. I see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Beau, wait–”

But he had rushed out of that room so fast, he couldn’t even hear you as the door fell shut behind him. You offered Randy the same tight-lipped smile and stroked his cheek. Your emotions were a mangled mess. A part of you was hauled back to the past, old feelings that you had buried deep coming back alive, while new ones reminded you that it wasn’t the same anymore.

“Give me a sec, okay? I’ll go talk to your doctor. See when we can get you outta here,” you said and waited for Randy’s nod of confirmation before you darted out of the room.

Your heart thrummed in your ribcage as you raced down the hospital’s corridors all the way to the parking lot where you finally caught up with Beau. He was on a fast-paced escape to his car before he stopped when you called his name.

“Beau, wait!”

As he spun around, he dragged a palm over his face in an attempt to wipe away the tears. But the evidence was still visible, his eyes red and distraught. “You should go back, Y/N. He needs you.”

The heart in your throat caused you to choke. “So do you. I’m so sorry,” you said, sniffling as tears flowed down your cheeks. But as you stepped forward to hold him, he took a step back.

“It’s okay. I get it. Trust me. I do. He’s your husband, and I’m just… Well, I’m nothin’,” he said, his voice laden with heartbreak. “Just don’t come closer, ‘cause if you do, I don’t know if I can hold myself back, alright? ‘Cause all I wanna do right now is kiss you and love you, even it’s the last time. I can’t do that to him. You understand?”

Everything in you wanted to break through the fence he had set up, full-throttle with a lead foot on the gas, but you thought it was best to respect his wishes for now. You didn’t even know where your head was and wanted to avoid hurting him more.

“Here, uhm, you should have this back.” He fished out your wedding ring from his back pocket and dropped it into your palm, the quick brush of his skin tearing you apart even more. The golden band suddenly felt heavier than it ever had. You didn’t even know when he had grabbed it from his desk drawer, but the foresight scared you. He let out a humorless chuckle as the sadness brimmed in his green eyes. “Not the ring I thought I’d give you…”

Your lips parted, your brow lifting in realization. Whatever dusted remnants were left of your heart plummeted. “Beau…”

“Don’t. ‘S okay,” he wrung out with a doleful smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow, alright? Call if you need somethin’.”

With a passive nod, he jumped into his Jeep. You clutched the ring in your hand so tightly it almost burned through your skin as you watched him drive off.

Beau uncapped his third beer of the night (plus two tumblers of whiskey and a shot of his old friend Don Julio) as he sat on the bed in his trailer. A pile of your clothes still lay on the floor to his right, your favorite coffee mug stood in the kitchen sink, and your shampoo was stored in the shower. It felt like you hadn’t left, even though you had.

He replayed the clips of the hospital in his mind over and over again. How Randy held your hand. How he touched your cheek. How he kissed you. How he looked at you when he first saw you – like he had finally found the piece of his heart again that he lost years ago, the same love in his brown eyes that had been there since day one. And Beau understood, because he had felt the same way once, too, when you walked into his office – back into his life.

He told himself it was the torture he deserved for all of his sins. And he swallowed it all down – the hurt, the heartbreak, the jealousy, the possessiveness. He had no right to feel those things. Not anymore. You weren’t his. You never were.

How long did he have with you this time around? Five weeks?

Suddenly, he regretted leaving Houston, regretted leaving you. He wasted a whole year that he could’ve spent loving you. He always thought, in the end, he'd have more time. Eternity, even. How fucking foolish was that?

The headlights and sounds of a car in front of his home drew his attention to the window, shadows and lights dancing along the walls of his trailer. He couldn’t see his visitor, but considering it was in the middle of the night, he assumed it was either Jenny or Cassie checking up on him. He had texted them to let them know what was going on. But as he opened the door, the sight left him speechless.

“Y/N…” Your name fell from his lips like you were an angel he had prayed for. For a moment, he wasn’t sure if his eyes were seeing things right, or if you were a booze- and depression-induced hallucination. You wouldn’t be the first ghost that came back to haunt him, after all.

“You ain’t nothing.”

With those words still floating in the night air, you cupped his neck and crashed your lips against his, kissing him fervently with everything you had as tears streamed down your cheeks. He returned the kiss just as passionately, although you could feel a part of him fighting against it. But his large hands grabbed your waist and pulled you flush against him, the kiss lasting till both of you were bluer than the sky. You didn’t let go of him, though, hands holding onto his shirt, too scared he would slip through the cracks of your fingers if you did.

“Y/N, I can’t…”

“I love you,” you interjected his hesitance with firmness and gripped him tighter, your gaze drilling into him like you hoped your words would. “You think I’d just forget? You think my feelings for you just vanish into thin air? It doesn’t work that way. I can’t just snap my fingers and stop loving you. I can't go back to the way things were. I know you think me and Randy are some great love story, but so are you and I. Look, when he died, I grieved that loss and it felt like I was dying, too. I never thought life would be... exciting... and fun... and happy... and so full of love again. And then… I-I fell in love with you, and my life somehow started again. And I know this whole situation is fucked up and confusing and impossible. And I don’t know what to do… I don't know what the right thing is here. But I do know you feel right, and I can’t just pretend you and me and everything good that came with it never existed. I don’t want to. Please, just… I need you, Beau. You said you wouldn't leave again. You're not making things better by walking away...”

With a stretch of your toes, your nose grazed his before you gently claimed his plump, soft lips once more. Your tear-stained cheeks met the roughness of his beard. The kiss started ginger and careful, giving him time to withdraw if he wanted to. But he didn’t. His tongue slipped inside your mouth and stoked the flames of the fire that burned for him deep within your soul. Inhibitions were set ablaze as the kiss turned searing. He hoisted you into his arms, your legs wrapping around his middle as he carried you inside.

The trailer’s peaceful silence was disturbed by panting breaths, a pathway of clothes leading from the entrance to the bed. You peeled off his shirt, and he slid off yours over your head. You unclasped your bra and tore it off, pressing your tits against his bare chest as your lips tried to remain connected to each other through it all. By the time he sat down on the edge of the mattress with you on top, only two naked bodies seeking friction remained.

You wanted to feel him everywhere, wanted him to fill you and make you whole again until you stopped feeling like you were breaking apart at the seams. Hands roamed and explored as tongues mingled and savored tastes. As you straddled his muscular thighs, his arms wound around your middle and kept you firmly pressed against him, his hold on you strong as his fingers dented your flesh. You hoped it was enough to leave bruises behind. You never wanted to forget him, wishing his marks would be permanent ink on your skin.

“I need you,” you murmured against his thoroughly kiss-swollen lips, his cock rubbing against your soaking core as you gently rocked your hips.

“I want you,” you assured him, your mouth trailing a path of featherlight kisses along his jaw and down to his throat, his groan vibrating against your soft lips. One hand steadied itself on his broad shoulder as your other one fisted his hard, throbbing length and positioned it at your entrance, his cockhead gliding through your slick and teasing you till you shuddered with wanton need to feel him inside of you.

“I love you,” you whispered and gasped as you sank down, sheathing his thick cock in your warmth as your velvety walls welcomed him. With a needy and yet tender kiss, you soothed his grunt when he was fully inside you and prodded at your cervix. “Wanna make you feel good, okay?”

He nodded and squeezed his eyes shut. “Fuck, Y/N, don’t do this to me if you’re gonna leave,” he pleaded, his gravelly voice laced with desperation and pain. His hand softly caressed your face as he rested his forehead against yours. His love for you radiated in his green eyes like kryptonite.

You cupped his bearded cheeks and forced him to look at you, lifting his chin to find your eyes. “I’m not leaving you, okay?”

“But–”

You kissed him before he could bring forth all the reasons why you should, but you didn’t care. Your heart was the North Star, and your heart had led you to him. When you left the hospital, there was nowhere else you wanted to go, no one you wanted to see more. Your heart had only ached for him.

You were finally home, and now that you were back in the arms where you belonged, you kissed him so hard till his mind quieted down to a soft lullaby. You kissed him so hungrily till his cock twitched inside of you because you were the only one he wanted, too. You kissed him so passionately he felt your love for him seep into his own heart.

As you began to roll your hips, he met you thrust by thrust as he pounded up into you. His massive hands and sinful mouth roamed every inch of your body. Palms groped your tits and fingers tickled your spine. Lips kissed your throat and tongue massaged your nipples. Teeth grazed your flesh and beard burned your skin.

Your nails dug into the thick muscles on his shoulders and scraped his scalp as his cock split you open with each pump. His girth tore you apart, each time you eased back down a new pleasurable burn coursing through you as your walls stretched to accommodate all of him.

Your pace rose with the tides of your hips, your thighs flexing as your cunt stroked his cock and came closer to the finish line. Beau buried his head in the crook of your neck, writhing and groaning underneath you. His fingers bit into your flesh, surely leaving bruises behind this time. Your tits rubbed against his chest, and you could feel his muscles tensing and straining underneath your fingertips with each bounce. He was barely holding on.

“Come for me, baby,” you beckoned him, feeling your own orgasm approach. The fuse was sparked and burned a path right to your explosive core. “I love you…”

“Fuck!” Beau cried out and spilled into you, his body trembling in your grasp. Those words were all it took to tip him over the edge.

You came with a thundering moan. His release triggered your own, your pussy pulsing violently around him and milking his cock for all he’d got. His cum mixed with your arousal and gushed out of you, trickling down your thighs and coating even his balls. Your thighs shook with exhaustion as you let yourself fall down on him, his arms catching you and holding you close.

Still panting, his mouth found yours in the dark. His thumbs stroked your flushed cheeks, the rest of his fingers dangling in your hair, the grip soft turned bruising as he kept you lip-tied to him, the kiss tender turned rough.

His nose brushed yours as he looked deeply at you. You could see the despair drowning in his pine green eyes, his emotions overtaking him.

“Pick me. Don’t go,” he begged in a harsh whisper, your flushed face in his warm palms.

You placed a gentle kiss on his lips and nodded. “I’m not going anywhere, corazón.”

Chapter 10: It Matters

Phew, writing that hospital scene nearly killed me 😮‍💨 Next up, we have even more drama as the awkward throuple reaches a boiling point...

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[andromaqves]

songs for turning; a quarry soundtrack

01. ptolemae - ethel cain (suffer does the wolf, crawling to thee—) 02. feral love - chelsea wolfe (run from the light, your eyes black like an animal—) 03. dangerous - son lux (how am i supposed to run? now— am i supposed to run?) 04. oxytocin - billie eilish (wanna see what you can take— you should really run away!) 05. i feel like a god - deathbyromy (nothing you can do about me, so high that you cannot touch me—) 06. sudden desire - hayley williams (your fingerprints on my skin, a painful reminder—) 07. body mind hell - vtss (ask no questions tell no lies, those hungry eyes are my demise—) 08. choke - royal & the serpent (beg you for mercy 'cause my vision is blurry i'm afraid you could hurt me—) 09. eyes on fire - blue foundation (i won't soothe your pain, i won't ease your strain—) 10. eat me alive - swarm, soundr (and there are no devils in hell, they live in my mind—) 11. pyre - son lux (bring all your things, and we can build a pyre—) 12. i'm not human at all - sleep party people (we're not human at all— we have no heart.) click to listen on spotify.