#but he was also the only writer that made a 6-parter not feel boring to me

[spoilerssweetie13]

Hi, I've been meaning to reply to this. I just haven’t found the time to sit down and write a whole essay, hehehe. I'll start off by saying I definitely get where you're coming from, but here's just my two cents on everything:

The Doctor has, at one point, been President of Gallifrey, and given how Time Lords are, I don't they would allow someone "less clever" than them to lead them. The Timeless Child isn't supposed to make the Doctor special. If anything, it makes them a victim of abuse dissected like lab rat by their own adoptive mother over who knows how lifetimes. The Timeless Child does not negate their choices. Instead, I feel adds to them. They are alien even to this universe but chose to save it time and time again. In a sense, if they hadn't been kidnapped the DW universe would have died a billion times over, isn't that beautifully fucked up in its own way?

Davros once asked Twelfth why he ran from Gallifrey, and under this new context of the Timeless Child, you realize, "Oh shit that's what he was running from." That's what they are all always running from. I also saw another post on here that said that the Time Lords "granted" Eleventh more regenerations to cover their own tracks, and that makes so much sense. The Time Lords don't do anything unless it benefits them. When you see the whole show under the lens of Timeless Child, all the pieces start to fall into place. It's definitely a different viewing experience. It becomes so much darker, and I think that's part of the appeal of the Timeless Child for me.

The Doctor did always feel like the adopted child of the family; Timeless Child just confirms it. But they will always be the Doctor, because the Doctor is the name that they chose for themselves, their empathy and and love for humanity has nothing to do with where they come from, and that was true even when we thought they were from Gallifrey. It's all about their choices, and they will always choose to be the Doctor sorting out fair play throughout the universe, no matter their origins.

Ever since I watched the Fugitive Doctor episode, every time someone new would pop up on screen, I would go is he the Doctor, is she the Doctor, [ominously whispers] are we all the Doctor? (Joking, but seriously, the paranoia did set in!) To me, Timeless Child isn't taking the Everyman-ness or Everywoman-ness away but adds to it by saying literally anyone and everyone can be the Doctor. You don't have to be born on Gallifrey to be the Doctor; hell, you don't even have to be from the DW universe, so we could all very well be the Doctor, lol.

Extended lore says Time Lords used Looms to procreate so I don't know why the Doctor wouldn't know who the Susan's parents are, unless it hasn't happened yet because of timey-wimey stuff [shrugs] probably will never happen now because of the retcon. :( Marrying a werewolf is crazy but it's the Doctor, so I'm not even surprised.

It's funny that I don't like the Bi-genration for the same reason that you do like it. That it's a one-off and will never happen again. To me, it feels too convenient compared to the Timeless Child. Love it, hate it, want to purge it from your memory, the Timeless Child will always be a part of the show's history, it's essentially a infinite money glitch, a way for the show to go on forever. See, what really gets me is that Fourteenth will just drop dead at one point, and Fifteenth will just get all his memories and be like, "I'm healed now." That feels too convenient. To me, that's messing with the established rules just as much as Timeless Child. If we're talking about closure Fourteenth and Donna should've gone back to The Library and Fourteenth should've used his "resemblance" to Tenth to his advantage to confuse the Vashta Nerada and somehow save River without time collapsing in on itself (but that's just the Doctor/River shipper in me speaking). To me, Donna just getting her memories was closure enough.

RTD said he didn't want to make a mockery of drag by putting David Tennant in Jodie's Whittaker outfit. Mind you, her outfit was specially designed so anyone can wear it. What's so feminine about trousers, a shirt and a coat? It seems to me that it was just done in bad faith.

Bigeneration is just as lore-changing as the Timeless Child. And yet no one shits on it because their precious RTD wrote it. If Chibnall did something like this, y'all would have your pitchforks at the ready. The double standards in this fandom, I swear. RTD is allowed to retcon Doctor Who, but heavens forbid Chibnall even try.

The Doctor is no longer even a parent because of him. David Tennant is a good actor, but I'm tired of people pretending like he's the face of Doctor Who. The whole point of the show is that the Doctor has different faces, and we should love them all—not regress backwards.

We deserved to see the Fourteenth Doctor in Thirteenth's clothes, and not for everything she is to burn up and die. The Fifteenth Doctor deserved his own regeneration scene like every other Doctor, without Fourteenth randomly sticking around because of RTD's inability to let go of the characters he wrote.

At least the Timeless Child added something more to the Doctor's story. Bigeneration took something away: the emotional impact of the Doctor's regeneration - having to say goodbye.

[amethyst-geek]

My theories on that scene from the Season 4 preview

When I saw the preview for 4, something that stood out to me (besides Shadow Moth’s hilarious look) is the scene where Alix, Alya, Mylene, Rose, and Juleka getting re-akuamatized. I have come up with several theories regarding the circumstances behind their akumatization, several of which I already shared in the form of asks @princess-of-the-corner and I would like to elaborate on them here (As u can only say so much in an ask), as well as provide some additional theories. 

1. Lila’s lies have successfully gotten the girls pissed at Marinette and/or Ladybug- admittedly, this one is the least likely from both a watsonian and doyelist standpoint. From a doylelist standpoint, I feel like the episode will be enough a re-hash of Felix and Ladybug without the whole “someone got the girls pissed at one of the heroes by framing one of the main characters” thing.  From a Watsonian standpoint, they probably already been informed of Lila’s ‘lying disease’ after the events of Ladybug, so Lila’s probably going to have a harder time getting people to believe her (because if someone told me that they had a lying disease that forces them to lie, I’d probably take any other claim with a grain of salt). 

2. The girls decided to have a meeting to discuss Lila’s disease and how they can help her, and when the girls started comparing notes regarding Lila’s stories (like saving Jagged Stone’s cat) and realized that even her claim about having a lying disease doesn't make sense (because if she was lying about Marinette stealing the test answers and necklace, then how did they wind up in her backpack and locker, and also shouldn't the faculty already been informed of Lila’s disease when she first came to school?). Their confusion regrading what’s true and what isn't, remorse for not listening to Marinette, and anger at Lila, draw an akuma which lands on them while they were holding hands as part of an attempt to comfort each other and calm down. Now unlike in Felix where Lady Wifi is the only akuma that makes sense in the context of “my friend sent us a mean message when we just trying to cheer him up,” most if not all of the returning akumas could easily be applied to the situation of the girls starting to see through Lila’s lies. I can practically hear Hawk Moth’s speech to them- “Timebreaker, you regret having trusted this liar over your own friend, so I‘m giving u the chance to go back in time to fix your mistake. Lady Wifi, I’m giving u back the power to expose her lies. Princess Fragrance, Lila Rossi used u and your friends as pawns, but now, you’ll be the one who controls her and everyone around her. Reflekta, this girl lied to make herself the center of attention, but it might be difficult for her to stand out if everyone looks the same. Horrificator, I’m giving you the power to make Lila feel as helpless as her past victims. In return, well you probably know the drill by now. Do we have a deal?” 

3. Verity Queen made them her knights- Mrs. Rossi runs into Marinette and Sabine and Lila’s lying disease is brought up and Mrs. Rossi is all “my daughter doesn't have a lying disease.” An argument ensues and draws an akuma, which lands on Sabine (who may have been taking the bullet for Marinette) and she becomes Verity Queen, who has a lasso of truth, She then uses her lasso of truth on Marinette (whom Sabine is most trusting of, but she felt Mrs. Rossi would only believe Marinette if she was under the influence of the lasso of truth), and Marinette confirms that she did not cheat or steal Lila’s necklace and that she Lila clammily walk down the stairs instead being pushed down. Verity Queen then asks Marinette why Lila would want to do this, Marinette replies that she was making good on her threat to turn everyone against her. Verity Queen is understandably pissed at Lila, so she leaves to go find Lila, taking Mrs. Rossi with her.  She can't find Lila, but she does manage to find Marinette’s friends, and after explaining to them what Marinette told her about Lila, turns them into her knights, which r their akumatized forms, and she sends them out to search for Lila. They manage to track Lila down and take her to the tv station, where Verity Queen is waiting and has already ‘knighted’ Nadja back into Prime Queen. Verity Queen then uses her lasso of truth to force Lila to admit all of her wrongdoings on live tv. 

4. Mrs. Rossi gets akumatized- Mrs. Rossi finally gets around to asking her colleagues what they should do about Ladybug’s incompetence. Mistaking this for a joke, the colleagues laugh their asses off. As they do so, Mrs. Rossi’s anger at not being taken seriously draws an akuma and here is Hawk Moth speech to her: “Red Queen, nobody but you cares about getting the akumas under control, so I’m giving u the power to do it yourself. In return, I ask that u bring me the miraculous of the heroes too incompetent to do it themselves. Do we have a deal.” The akumatized Mrs. Rossi replies “Time to show those how to do their jobs!” and becomes Red Queen who has the power to turn up to 16 people (I’m going for a chess motif here. Maybe I should call her White Queen instead) back into their akumatized forms (but she’s under the impression that they’re already in their akumatized forms) and control them. Among the people she turns back into akumas are Alix, Alya, Mylene, Rose, and Juleka. As for who the rest of the re-akuamitzed ‘pieces,’ hard to say (there r a lot to choose from). After de-akumatizing Mrs. Rossi, she explains what Lila told her, and the the heroes (which may include new ones, as in this scenario, Ladybug and Chat Noir are dealing with 16 villains, who will probably be more spread out throughout the city this time around) and former ‘chess pieces’ explain the truth  Mrs. Rossi, and one of the girls wonders if Lila’s ‘lying disease’ was acting up, and Mrs. Rossi is all like ‘what lying disease?” Yeah, Lila’s in big trouble. 

5. it’s just a stress-induced nightmare- it won't be the main focus of the episode, it will just be the opening scene to show how the pressure of being the new guardian is getting to her. This scenario is kinda boring.

6. Sandboy 2- Sandboy is back again, but similar to Gamer and Puppeteer, his powers have been modified. This time, instead of bringing people’s nightmares to life, he forces them into a deep sleep where they r forced to deal with nightmares they can’t wake up from (think the “Only a Dream” two-parter of Justice League, except that Sandboy can't enter anyone’s dreams). Among Sanboy’s victims is Marinette. Her nightmare (and possibly the episode, of the writer do that thing where they don't immediately reveal it’s a dream) begins with her friends disappointed with her for reason they refuse to explain and transform back into the akumatized forms and they go after her. In this nightmare, the re-akumtizations don't end with the ones seen the preview. One by one, everyone who has been akumatized turns back into their akuma form, ending with Chat Noir becoming Chat Blanc and then everyone screams at Ladybug/Marinette for falling them. She tries to summon her lucky charm, but it doesn't work. Then a nightmare version of Hawk Moth shows up and he sends an akuma Ladybug, who tries to dodge, only for Volpina to hold her down, and when Ladybug tries to resist the akumtization, all while letting out some of the most bloodcurdling screams in Christina Vee’s career. Meanwhile, in the real world, Tikki tries to wake up Marinette and when that fails, tries to remove her earrings so she can loan them to someone, but that fails too for whatever reason). So out of desperation, Tikki grabs one of the goat miraculous out of the miracle box and tracks down Marc. Tikki explains that Ladybug has been affected by Sandboy’s powers and need Marc’s help to save her). Marc then becomes the goat hero, whose power is astral projection (btw the idea of the goat’s power being astral projection was probably inspired by a fanfic called Capricorn by mico-j-ken, as Capricorn has similar powers. The fanfic in in fan fiction.net if anyone wants to read it). Goat! Marc then uses his powers to enter Marinette’s dreams, to let her know’s just a dream and also give her a much-needed pep talk. Marinette wakes up and transform into Ladybug, and defeats Sandboy. When Marc tries to give the goat miraculous back to Ladybug, she tell him to keep it, explaining that this experience made her realize that there will be situations that she won't be able to get out of with our help. As a sidenote, Marc may or may not have figured out Ladybug’s secret identity (depending on how careful Tikki, such as asking Goat! Marc to close his eyes while she lead Marc to Marinette) and may have found out about Lila’s bitchery via Nightmare!Lila monologging about making good on her threat against Marinette as Goat!Marc was entering Marinette nightmare. 

What do u guys think? Which scenario do think is the coolest and/or most likely? 

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales 87 Reviews: Working for Scales (CACC Finale): Islands in the Sky, Stereotypes on the Ground

The grand finale to Catch as Cash Can as commissioned by @weirdkev27​! It’s a race to the finish as Scrooge, The Boys, Gyro and Launchpad hurry to get a now floating Atlantis to Macaroon before the deadline while Glomgold sets the Beagle Boys against them to stop them! Sterotyping, mother trucking balloons, Scrooge being a jerkhole again and one hell of a climax are floating on by under the cut along with the full review!

I made it! A full week almost of reviews, 4 episodes, and one big commission and with this it’s finally done. And it’s been a heck of a ride and i’ve thoroughly enjoyed doing it and hope to get more commissions in the future. For now though the Goal Line is in sight, let’s get going. 

Previously on Ducktales:

And as for this series, if you haven’t been following along at this point, Scrooge is in a contest with Glomgold to get his fortune to Macaroon to be weighed in order to get marketing rights to the Lightbulb replacing world changing Firefly Fruit. He’s had to deal with Beagle Boys, Sea Monsters eating his ice cream that turn out to be robotic whales driven by smart morons, and a bunch of asshole frogs with on sense of anything in a really boring adventure best forgotten. Point is Scrooge found atlantis, that’s where his gold is and the contest is almost up. Everybody ready? 

We open with Disney Plus giving me a very nice message. 

I’d heard about this but it was my first time seeing it.. and I prefer this to the previous content warnings as instead it just flat out apologizes for it and tries to use this racist bollocks as a learning tool instead of just covering their ears and pretending they weren’t racist. Granted it took them a few months and is clearly to cover their own ass, but even an ass covering disclaimer can still have some good intentions behind it and given how big and unwieldly disney is it’s not suprising it took 6 months to put this on there. They still haven’t put House of Mouse, Wonder Over Yonder, Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero or American Dragon: Jake Long on here after a year, Disney can be slow sometimes. Dosen’t mean there isn’t some good that can come from this or that I don’t appricate them going as far as to put this one one of their tv shows. And given how they’ve basically had to be fought to get full gay content into one of their shows and they shot in a region of china where there’s concentration camps, I think there are bigger issues with disney than “oh no they took a bit to decide on how to readress their racist content oh no”. It was a nice gesture, I can give them that while still booing them for the other things. 

Now that’s out of the way the episdoe itself opens in Macaroon where Glomgold is already there and at the scale and naturally is trying to get the Kishke to just end it already. The Kishke being a fair man though refuses as Scrooge still has an hour to get there and refuses to budge.  And that’s ALL I can say good about this character. I already thought he was bad and racist in part one and let them know it but since Disney has acknowledged via this blanket statement that “It was wrong then and it’s wrong now” and he’s even worse now, I feel it’s my duty to lay the hell into this awful, obnoxious, annoying stereotype of a character who, as I must remind you, was played by a white dude. And unlike last time i’m not giving Hamilton Camp credit because I did my homework: This guy had plenty of rolls at this point, was an accomplished singer and song writer and could’ve walked away from the roll if he genuinely wanted to or put his foot down but clearly had no issue playing a “waccccckyyyy” foreign stereotype for a little extra dough.  It’s just obnoxious to watch this outdated even by 1987 standards stereotype of an indian leader with a bit of a sultan thrown in because why not piss off the middle east too? Just make everybody good and justifably pissed off at this bullshit. The Kishki repeats words, is dumb enough to think glomgold’s coat is talking to him, and is just unplesant to watch. As Disney themselves said “It was wrong then and it was wrong now”, their own words. This character is terrible, obnoxious, offensive even for the 80s and think about that for a second and it’ll get worse for you and drags the episode down considerably any time he’s on screen. Scre the Kishke, screw hamilton camp for agreeing to this, screw the writers for thinking this was REMOTELY okay, and screw anyone who thinks i’m taking out unecessary time to bitch about this. It was bad then, it’s bad now. Nuff said.

SO yeah as you can tell i’ll be glossing over the bits of him and glomgold.. basically over the episode the beagle boys, we’ll get to them in amoment, will raido glomgold, the kishke will think his coat is talking.. it’s a whole thing and I’m not giving this uttelry stupid and offensive bit any more time than I have to and I just did. 

Back to the main story, Glomgold , while publicly sure Scrooge lost, continues to be a good villain here: while I still prefer Keith Fergueson as his delivery’s are a lot more lively and he’s a lot more 3 dimensional, i’ve REALLY grown to like the original 2: He’s a clever mastermind who always has some trick up his sleeve and spends most of the four parter ahead of scrooge: None of his schemes link back to him in a meaningful way, and he basically has a straight shot to the Kishke and getting his gold there since Scrooge is too busy protecting his gold from Glommy’s Goons to retaliate and too honest to do so if he could anyway. He’s a fun villain to watch and is easily the best of this four parter and my opinion on him has gone up since the last few parts. He’s still not AS interesting as Magica or the boys, but he’s far more compelling than I gave him credit for . 

Naturally he brought the beagles to Macaroon via air mail, a nice gag, though Burger quickly gets old fast as every sentence is some sort of “He likes food joke’ Get it...

It’s annoying it’s outdated and i’ts obnoxious. And frankly Fresh Price of Bell Air also took part in a lot of fat jokes.. but they still work on some level since they mostly come from Will, a snarky teenager who doesn’t know better and Geoffry, a snarky butler who probably has to put up with a LOT even with a healthy paycheck and thus has every reason to get his tiny digs in where he can. Here it’s just.. the joke is he’s a fat guy. This must be where a young Kevin James learned his schitck from. 

But yeah the Beagles are there to watch for Scrooge since Glomgold can’t without giving away the fact he’s you know, tried to actively sabotage scrooge through most of this 4 parter. I almost typed 3 because I still wish Aqua Ducks  never happened, though he somehow set up a radar station in the country without the Kishke knowing. Maybe it’s because the episode portrays him as “stupid because foreign”.. actually it’s exactly that *sigh* But Scrooge is Scrooge so he already has a clever plan.. since the gold was left on a now risen Atlantis he’s turned Atlantis into a makeshift airship, likely makeshift because he’s short on time and gyro had to rig something up fast. But it’s damn impressive and nicely wacky: Using a bunch of balloons tied to strings, a bike powered propeller and a small steering column, scrooge is floating his way to macaroon and can dump his fortune directly on the scale if he can find it. Launchpad is steering which makes perfect sense: He’s an ace pilot and in this series can steer anything especially planes, and has the best trained eyes to spot any last minute attacks by Glomgold or any sudden turbulence and adjust accordingly. Gyro is manning the bike and is near dead but the boys are supposed to swap out.. though Scrooge says their too busy working the cloud generator.. only for it to turn out their not there. Oh no! Scrooge panics and tries to get it going but it’s too late: The boys spot them on radar and after conferring with Glomgold, head out in some jets he also sneaked in to stop them.. with his logo on them. Looks like Heron isn’t the only one with issues about when and when not to use branding.  But since their taking on scrooge their heading right into the 

As for where the boys are they’ve been investigating the lost treasure of Atlantis after their bizarre absence last episode and soon realize OH CRAP WE LEFT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ON THIS AIRSHIP MADE OUT OF THE RUINS OF ATLANTIS OFF! They rush off to apologize while Launchpad bemoans that he can’t counter attack. Gyro however naturally came prepared and has a miniture biplane hidden inside a briefcase, iron man style It’s neat even if it sadly is too slow for Launchpad to do anything.  We then get .. this scene. The boys go to scrooge to apologize and explain themselves but Scrooge rather than hear it or understand their you know, ten year old or younger boys who just made a mistake, as big as it was and were still trying to help, berates them, refuses to hear it and tells them he thought they’d take up after him one day but probably not anymore. It’s just an unnecessarily cruel and harsh bit from him and I’ve started to notice that pattern of this scrooge being colder and meaner to people, and it’s not an isolated thing. I’d forgotten just how many episodes hinged on him firing or threatening to fire launchpad. This Scrooge isn’t bad, but the best scrooge stories hinge on a nice balance between his more jackass qualities and his underlying goodness. He is supposed to be gruff, mean and stingy, but not you know.. needlessly cruel with no regret shown at all till the very end after they already helped him. It would’ve worked better if the episode had just one bit of him regretting it before the boys proved to be useful. Both episodes now he’s been cruel to people, even if they’ve screwed up he’s gone beyond it and only turned around when they proved useful> This is the badly written scrooge of the comics, even under masters like rosa and barks, I get annoyed with: the one whose just cruel, mean and selfish and isn’t charismatic or interesting enough to override that.  However the obvious solution, the boys popping the Ballons, fails, as Gyro steelbelted them.. somehow. I’ve learned not to ask at this point. But it’s clever and he also likely altitude protected them given how high up there are but that’s just as likely toon physics. Either way it’s neat. Glomgold has the boys do a plan b: anchor the island with some hooks and pull it in the wrong direction. While Gyro struggles to stop them, the boys decide to redeem themselves with an idea by Louie.. but since there’s no c4 or knives aboard he’ll have to go with his second plan which is improvise a slingshot and knock a rock into the hook freeing it and sending the beagles spinning. Naturally though this can’t go easy for them and the sudden jolt from the island being freed causes gyro’s bike to break off the hinges and knock him and scrooge off the island to what the boys assume is their deaths because their apparently both clever this episode and really really dumb. Launchpad catches them but accidently disengages the plane into a breif case, but luckily gyro, after a funny gag where he pulls out random stuff as they fall, always a classic, finds some napkins that turn into parachutes and the three float to the ground safety.  Back on Atlantis, I do not get to say that enough, the boys decide to carry on and make sure Scrooge wins since it’s what he’d want and start steering the island into Macaroon. The Beagles land as a last ditch effort, Glomgold is pisseeeed and Scrooge is relieved and comes up with a clever way to mark where to drop the loot: he politely asks for some firefly fruit and makes a landing strip. It’d be a nice contrast moment with Glomgold if Scrooge wasn’t such a dick to everyone and thing except when it benefits him. But the episode frames it like some big character difference and not scrooge just being polite for one second to get what he wants. But the boys start dumping the cash by releasing some balloons, with the beagles doing the same with some others to dump it in glomgold’s pile, but the boys are able to do the trick one more time and thus the fortune’s are tied. Scrooge however cleverly wins for the moment by using his number one dime to tip the scales.  Naturally though Glomgold is one step ahead, and has a dump truck full of money ready. Guess we know who made Kamp Krusty. 

And now has more with only a minute left though the Kishke being good for this at least refuses to call it and the boys naturally decide to hunt for the lost treasure of atlantis. The beagles naturally follow, leading to the human chain moment above, but the boys find the fish, trick the beagles into coming down so they can get to the other fish, and dump all the money right onto scrooge’s side. And after four LONNNNNG episodes of adventure and stupidity, Scrooge wins. It’s also revealed the dumptruck was mostly lead bricks to the suprise of no one. Scrooge has won, he reconciles with the boys thanking them having leanred nothing, and the Kishke picks up the unfunny coat gag one last time while everyone laughs, at last, mercefully the end. 

Final Thoughts on this one episode:  This was a decent finale. Scrooge was a bit cruel to the boys but understandably enough that while it bothered me , didn’t make the episode actively worse like last time, they just laid it on a bit too thick is all. But the action is great and the pacing, minus the utterly grating Kishke bits, is top notch, with a tense flight to get to the kishke, tons of fun twists to it and the final push itslef being really thrilling as the boys dangle and then use the chekovs gun to win. It feels earned and it was a nice subversion with the dime bit which itself would’ve been a fine ending. It’s a thrilling and fun episode.. it’s just dragged down from excellent to decent by the utterly loathsome racist characture that is the Kishke who has I covered up top, is far more present here and far more stereotype and far less tolerable. It drags down the pacing and what’s otherwise a fun well paced episode and a good climax to a not so great 4 parter. Speaking of which.  Final Thoughts on Catch as Cash Can: 

This four parter was pretty lackluster all things considered. While it started off hot with “A Drain on the Economy” easily one of the best 87 Ducktales episodes i’ve seen, it quickly wore out it’s good will with the enjoyably bad “A Whale of A Bad Time”, Sea Monster Ate My Ice Cream Scene notwithstanding, the utterly dreadful “Aqua Ducks”, and the thrilling but also annoyingly racist “Working for Scales”. It started fine but it’s clear they didn’t have enough material for four full episodes here as the latter three ALL suffer from padding and it’s very noticable, with Whale of a Bad Time at least covering it up better with it’s convoluted plot. This plot REALLY didn’t need to be this long and would’ve been better, if still annoyingly racist, with just two, just having another expiation for the air ship which was awesome. Instead it’s just an overpadded mess with one excellent episode and one utterly masterful scene, and some good action in the last half and I can easily see why they only did serials for big events from then on out. It was a good idea to have more serials they just executed it really badly and it’s better this was the ONLY mid-season one from then on out if this was the best they can do. Truly disapointing. 

Well that closes the book on Catch as Cash Can. I’d like to thank @weirdkev27​ for commissioning these. While it wasn’t a fun sit sadly, I did get some good material out of them and it was a pleasure to dive into the original series and I plan to again some day. If you liked this review follow me for more as I review a new ducktales episode every monday and plan to still do at least one a week once the hiatus kicks in again, as well as loud house whenever new episodes come out and I can watch them and new amphibia when it comes back next year, as well as scattered reviews throughout the week. If you’d like to comission your own review, simply send me an ask or personal message or send an ask for my discord and we can get started. IT’s 5 dollars for one episode, 15 for movies and 5 dollars off when you order 3 or more. Until we meet again check your house for gary buseys and stay safe!

[guardianreadersofthegalaxy]

My thoughts on each series of NuWho

(NB episode titles would make this too long so I’m just referring to them by number. Also I’m not counting specials so if I refer to Series 2 Episode 2 for example, I’m talking about Tooth & Claw, not New Earth. EXCEPT in Series 7 where I count the Xmas special as part of the series)

Series 1, the charmingly low budget one: S1 is carried by the writers and actors more than sci fi spectacle. The Doctor is loveable and compelling, though it’s a shame he never got a chance for further development. There are some boring episodes but 6, 9/10 & 12/13 are masterpieces that really stayed with me.

Series 2, the not so charmingly low budget one: Slightly coasts off the momentum of series 1. It’s nice to see the Doctor and Rose in love but not that interesting. Episodes 2,4 & 9 are good and 10 is sorely underrated but 3 and 11 are pretty limp and there’s nothing here that makes my top ten.

Series 3, the really solid one: There’s clearly a budget increase here and it’s put to good use. Martha’s pretty good and her departure at the end is uplifting. Even the weaker 6 & 7 would have been highlights had they come in S7 or S11. The second half is particularly brilliant, not that the first half doesn’t also have thrills and spills. David Tennant hits his stride and has great chemistry with Agyeman, Barrowman and Simm.

Series 4, the one with Donna & Wilf: Donna is funny and deeply relatable, due to her insecurities. Her relationship with the Doctor is one of DWs best as their friendship never stops her from keeping him in line, morally. The episodes are consistently decent until 10 & 11 blow my socks off and 12 & 13 disappoint. I can’t overstate the quality of both Tate & Cribbons’ performances

Series 5, the one that made me think Moffat was good: Though Moffat leans into the arc a bit too heavily, it’s not as egregious as in later series. Smith’s Doctor is just different enough from Tennant to feel fresh and not the caricature he’d go on to be. Amy is a little irritating and her relationship with Rory makes light of disfunction. Still, on the whole, S5 combines the best of RTD and Moffat’s show-running, with 10 being a particular standout.

Series 6, basically ‘LOST’: The more fraught Doctor-companion dynamic is interesting here, but that gets disposed of halfway through. Still, Amy is more likeable now. The opening two-partner features mystery-box seeding that would make JJ Abrams blush and the resolution to both the Silence and River Song mysteries are total cop-outs. 9 and 11 are decent but otherwise this is a forgettable series

Series 7, the one where every episode is special and therefore none of them are: Each episode here has a great elevator pitch, but sadly the execution is never there, despite some cool visuals in 9, 11 & 13. Both the Trenzalore and ‘Impossible Girl’ mysteries were uninteresting and, thanks to S6, I never invested in them in the first place. The Ponds feel like they’ve outstayed their welcome and Clara has no character at all. And the Doctor touches her too much.

Series 8, Rick & Morty for kids: Props to Capaldi for his bold new take on the Doctor, but in practice he comes across as a child-friendly Rick Sanchez i.e. punchable. Clara is much better here though, with a more fleshed-out home life. Danny provides a counterpoint to the Doctor much as Mickey and Rory did before him. 8 & 9 are good but, otherwise, it’s forgettable.

Series 9, the one with the massively overrated war-monologue: After a painfully ‘Moffat-y’ opener, the episodes are consistently decent – on a par with Series 4. 10 & 11 are masterpieces and 12 delivers a moving conclusion (albeit after a dismal first 20 minutes). Capaldi is more likeable here and Clara has a strong exit. The two-parter structure really helps the stories feel more developed and stops the series arc from intruding too much.

Series 10, also a series of Doctor Who: Capaldi is at his best here, although Bill and Nardole are just fine. 5 and 8 are good and 7 has a brilliant cliff-hanger but the rest is pretty forgettable. EXCEPT for 11 and 12 which make up Moffat’s first and only great finale – better late than never.

Series 11, the other one that made me think Moffat was good: Despite some cool visuals and sfx this just feels like Doctor Who on autopilot, with neither RTD’s emotional grounding nor Moffat’s interesting concepts. Whittaker’s performance is two-note and unsubtle. Graham is charming but Ryan is gormless and Yas is nothing. The monsters are unintimidating and the villains are too serious to be taken seriously. Segun Akinola’s score is cool but lacks the heart that Murray Gold provided. Bland.

Ranking:

1.       S3

2.       S5

3.       S4

4.       S9

5.       S1

6.       S2

7.       S10

8.       S8

9.       S6

10.   S7

11.   S11

[calliecat93]

Top 5 Things I Disliked About RWBY Volume 1

(Top 5 Likes)

Welcome to the first installment of this little series of mine! So with Red vs Blue, I’ve done these ‘Top 5 Things I Like/Dislike/ posts regarding the recent seasons. So I thought ‘well, why not do it for RWBY to lead-up to Volume 7′! Sure, I thought of it at the last second and have to do two posts a day in order to be done by Saturday, but hey! it gives me something to do, so yay!

Anyways, here’s how these works. I’m going to release two posts a day. One for dislikes, one for likes. I want to say this about Dislike sin particular. As far as Volumes 1-5 go, the dislikes are things that I find weak about the volumes, but are NOT relevant to where RWBY is now. Volume 6 will have my relevant issues, but that’s about it. These are also gonna be nitpicky cause honestly, I have very few things that I dislike about each volume. Yes, including V5. Anything I bring up here I’ll do my best to explain, and same with Likes though obviously that’s gonna be more positive/happy. Dislikes are gonna be first cause I wanna get them out of the way.

Okay! Let's do this!

#5 - Chapter Runtimes

As of now, we RWBY fans are used to chapters bing about... 12-15 minutes on average, and longer than that on certain occasions. If it goes past 20 minutes, then we know that it’s a biiiig deal. Volume 1 though was... bizarre. Aside from Chapters 1, 8, 15, and 16 they ranged from about 6-8 minutes. Sometimes even four minutes. Now, this may not seem like that big a deal, especially since it is Volume 1 so they were still figuring the show out. So there's no reason to harp on them... but it is still an issue for this volume in particular and while I came into it after all the chapters were out and was able to just binge it in one go, it was a frequent complaint that I saw regarding it.

The issue is that many of the episodes would end up being two-parters when may of them would just be one episode nowadays. I’m gonna get to the Jaune Arc in another section, so let's take say... The Badge and the Burden for example. It’s a two-parter that I really like... but Part One is five and a half minutes, and Part 2 is seven minutes. Combined, they equal a total of around 12 1/2 minutes, reaching the current standard. I really feel that this could have improved pacing, especially for the Jaune arc since if it only went two episodes, IDT it would have annoyed as many people as it did. If you combined all the two-parters, V1 would ave a total of ten episodes. Now I assume that the episode order would have been cut down, so if they went with 12 then that gives them two episodes to do more things like showing more of Team RWBY growing as a team, showing more of how Beacon works, setting up things like Weiss’ racism towards Faunus and Blake’s Faunus status, etc. 

As I said though, this was the first volume. I think that they were trying to go with how they did Red vs Blue episodes since that was what they knew, and that format just didn’t work for RWBY. It was a critique that they listened to, and fixed accordingly in V2 and beyond. They were still finding their feet with the show and nowadays since you can just binge the volume, any pacing issues aren’t as big a deal. But I do feel like some things could have been better established or fleshed out had they gone with the current format here, so it is still something about the volume that I don’t care for. But it is certianly not an issue anymore.

#4 - Length of the Jaune Arc... Arc

Oh Jaune, the shit that you got for these four episodes...

So in V1, there are these two parts titled Jaunedice and Forever Fall. In it, Jaune is being bullied and struggling in his classes. Pyrrha offers to help, but Jaune refuses and we find out hat he cheated his way into Beacon. Cardin finds out, blackmails him, Jaune grows a backbone, Grimm fight, and Jaune finally accepts Pyrrha’s help. It’s more than that. We have Jaune opening up about how worthless he feels and how he hates being the Butt-Monkey that he had been made as over the course of the volume. He’s doubtful of his role as a leader, with Ruby giving him encouragement that later helps him stand up to Cardin. We see how caring Pyrrha is as she tries to convince Jaune to let her help him, how disappointed she is when he rejects her, and her using her power to help Jaune and give him a confidence boost. It’s a good story that especially helps with the bond between Jaune and Pyrrha and without this plot, the things that happen later wouldn’t have been nearly as impactful, especially during V3.

That being said, however, the issue here is that it’s four episodes long. In a 16 episode season where the runtime for each was under ten minutes. That meant that four weeks straight, instead of focusing on the actual main characters of having cool fights, people spent essnetially a month watching this ‘Jaune gets bullied’ storyline. Now I want to make this clear, I love Jaune. He's one of my favorite characters and I think that him hating being a fool and wanting to be a hero but having this kinda macho mindset about it makes him an interesting character. They subvert the ‘loser hero who becomes greater than everyone’ cliche by having Jaune have to man up, but he doesn't ever really become this ultra-badass hero. He has to learn to accept help and pays consequences for cheating his way into Beacon by having to actually work to prove his worth. 

Jaune had a very good character arc here... it’s just that the season’s structure makes it feel like he took the spotlight from other characters, especially Team RWBY. It being kind of a standard bullying story that isn’t out of place in any teen drama also didn’ make it very interesting, it just sets up more interesting things in later volumed. Even the Grimm fight at the end, compared to every other fight this volume, isn’t all that great and only serves to both reveal Pyrrha’s Semblance and to end the Cardin conflict. Had this been in the current format and just two episodes, it probably wouldn’t have annoyed as many people. ut as such, it’s just kinda... meh compared to the high fantasy that we get later and maybe gave aune a little too much attention. They do a much better job of giving Jaune time when prominent, but not letting it override other characters. But I will stills ay the arc is good character stuff for Jaune and Pyrrha, sets up Jaune training to become better, shows Pyrrha’s selfless nature, and without it, anything that happened later wouldn't have been nearly as impactful. So I don’t hate it, but it ain’t perfect.

#3 - Cardin Sucks

Okay, this is gonna be brief, but Cardin sucks. Okay yeah, I know that he’s supposed to suck, but he’s just... a bad character. He is a one-dimensional bully who exists solely to make Jaune miserable. After this arc, he has no prominence and in side stories like the manga or comics, they only use him to have a hate sink against other characters. He’s boring. He has no reason to be an asshole. We know nothing about him or why he’s that way. Which makes him utterly uninteresting, especially compared to later villains. Like say what you want about CInder or Adam, but at least they have actual motivations and impact. And it looks especially lame when you have Roman in this volume, who is one of the most beloved villains from the show because of how charismatic and fun he is. 

Sure Cardin's not supposed to be this great villain nor do I want him to be, and yes sucky people who suck just because are a thing. But Cardin just exists for the Jaune Arc... arc, which really with a couple of adjustments you could write him out completely. Like did we really need to have Jaune get blackmailed to make his arc work? There is nothing interesting about Cardin’s character. he’s just... a bully, and that’s it. I get it, he's made to be a hateful bully, but it also makes him a poor character and I just want him to vanish form all material because he’s not good for anything really.

#2 - Penny Fight

Let's get this out of the way before I say anything else. Monty was an incredibly talented animator who clearly had a love for his work and was incredibly creative and passionate. His fights were always amazing, this one included, and he gave us a show that I have loved for several years now. Even now, he is greatly missed but will always be remembered as an amazing animator, and as an amazing person. That being said though, Monty was not perfect and I think that this moment from the finale shows that sometimes he let his love for cool action scenes go too far.

Monty sometimes had a bad habit of making the characters more powerful than they really should be. This could look bad in stories where the characters would lose fights and people would get upset due to it. Like with how Adam was made out to be this badass... and we’ve ALL seen how people keep trying to use that argument for how Miles and Kerry ruined him, even though they didn’t. Then we have things like Penny. Now originally, Miles didn’t want the Penny Robot reveal to happen until V2. Now admittedly he and Kerry... kinda made it obvious that enny was at least not normal during her intro so everyone pretty much figured it out by the finale, but still, there was room for speculation. But Monty decided that he wanted a badass action sequence with Penny... and in doing so it gave the reveal away. And apparently, no one bothered to inform Miles and you can tell on the V1 Commentary that he was pretty surprised to see the sequence.

Monty was a great animator and he created a fantastic world. But like anyone, he had his flaws. I’m still annoyed at how that fight, as cool as it looked, gave the reveal away and went against the writer’s intention. I do not like it when stories get messed with just for coolness, and this is a prime example. IDT it annoyed people as much as the V2 finale where Monty definitely went overboard with cool action scenes. but this is still very much an example of the problems with doing that. V1 still is my least favorite finale for this and one other reason that we’ll go into in a bit. It’s not a big deal now and again, most people already figured the twist out due to the lack of subtlety. But it still pretty much ruined any build-up that it could have had, and that is a shame. Nevertheless, it was a very badass sequence by Monty and shows off just how crazy talented that the man truly was. Monty was a mad genius, and his memory still goes on even today. So for that, I can give it a little bit of slack.

I cannot give a much slack for Number One though...

#1. Weiss at the end Black and White was poorly done

To be honest, The Stray and Black and White is... not a strong finale. Yes, it brings up the Faunus oppression and introduced the White Fang as well as Sun. But the Faunus stuff had very little build-up. Sure, we had Cardin bullying Velvet... but it was Cardin, who bullied everyone so not a great example. Wiss worked better as, why this was her bitch phase, he wasn't a bad person and we saw her kinder side earlier. Plus she had a reason that wasn’t just racism and helped build-up to her problematic family life. But I find it hard to believe that Weiss hadn’t been showing her anti-Fuanus stances before The Stray, which is what it felt like so I feel like a better job could have been done regarding her.

Then we get to the ending of Black and White, and it feels... forced. Really forced. At the end, Weiss suddenly did a 180, telling Blake that she doesn't care that Blake is a Faunus, asks Blake to open up to her team more, and tries to hold back on any derogatory terms against Sun. It’s nice to see Weiss trying to be better, and later volumes very much show how much that she’s improved... but there is no build-up to her reaching this epiphany. Sure Ruby and Yang call her out on how horrible she’s acting towards Blake... but that was before they knew that she was a Faunus with Penny having to spell it out for them. Yeah, Yang makes a snide remark towards Weiss later about Weiss not caring which Weiss rebukes... but that’s it. We don’t see Weiss learn anything or see her view shift whatsoever over the course of these two episodes. I guess you can argue that the revelation is what made Weiss reconsider... but since she was calling Blake a criminal before the revelation, it kinda makes it hard for me to believe that. I guess it was meant to be implied, but even when I watched it the first time, I was baffled by it.

It just kinda cheapens the ending when Weiss did a 180 out of nowhere. Now Om glad that she had the revelation. As I said, later volumes show that she meant in with V2 having her stop Blake from closing up in Chapter 2 and get her to open up to them. V3 has her defend Velvet, a Faunus, and shows concern for her safety. V6 had her get pissed at Cordovin when she made a racist motion at Blake with murder clearly in her eyes. And I expect that V7 is going to show us more of this. it’s also clear that Weiss’ racism was due to a hateful mindset that she was raised into that she knows is wrong and had to grow out of. So I can see Weiss growing out of it in the finale and am happy for what we see later... but we don’t see her start to break out of it here. She says that she had 12 hours to think about it... and we’re just supposed to assume that she came to the conclusion because we were told that it happened. ‘Show don’t tell’ has been a frequent critique of the show, and sadly this is one of the best examples. Maybe if we saw Ruby and Yang call Weiss out after the Faunus revelation or saw Blake and Weiss interacting before Weiss’ racism became known it would have worked, but... no. We don’t. Again, it’s V1 so it’s not gonna be perfect and we do see that Weiss was genuine. I just wish that they did a better job of letting us experience that growth with her.

________________________________________________________________

Okay, Dislikes are done. Again, many if not all of these are no longer relevant to where RWBY is now. It’s just a little trip down memory lane. If anything, it really shows how much that everyone has improved over the years, which is a great thing. The good news is that now we can focus on the good things for VOlume 1. That post will go up later today... after I sleep. So thank you all for reading, and be on the lookout for the Top 5 Things I Liked About RWBY Volume 1~!

[codyfernaesthetic]

Unholy: The Wolf’s Invitation

Summary: Father Langdon invites Mallory to finish what they started.

Warnings: Harsh, explicit language, blasphemous situation(?)

Author’s note: Surprise suckers, it’s a three parter! I want the...consummation to be perfect. Enjoy!

Mallory had never felt more out of place than at Mass the following Sunday from her sinful encounter at confession. Every utterance of holy Scripture burned on her tongue, the wine of communion was souring in her stomach. Even her outfit, a draped white blouse and black skirt with heels felt more scandalous today despite wearing it hundreds of times before. She sat at the end of her usual pew, legs pressed together tightly and hands folded demurely in front of her. Her eyes darted everywhere, terrified that somehow the other congregants could read her mind; because all she could think about was Father Langdon’s dulcet voice as he uttered deliciously sinful words right inside the four walls of the holy of holies. Without a single touch, he’d ravaged her so completely. The hymns she sang erupted from constricted breath as she imagined him slipping his elegant fingers between her legs and bringing her to ungodly bliss. She felt hot to the touch beneath the glass stares of saints and angels. 

She was thankful another priest delivered the sermon today; grateful how utterly boring he was, how completely dispassionate. One of Langdon’s beautiful orations would have been a detriment to her ability to stay calm. When the service ended, she gathered her purse and rushed towards the exit, desperate to feel the chilly winter breeze.

“Mallory!”

The voice stopped her in her tracks.

“Always a pleasure to see you,” Langdon commented sincerely, walking up to her with his hand outstretched for a friendly greeting.

She didn’t accept it, and words spilled out of her mouth hastily, “Father Langdon, I want to apologize for what happened at my confession. I should not have let myself give into temptation so eagerly, and in my sin I led you astray. I pray you can forgive me.”

He cocked his head, offering her a playful smile and sympathetic eyes, “Oh, Mallory, there’s nothing to forgive.”

Her lips parted in surprise, “But…”

He motioned for her to walk with him a bit farther away from the exiting crowd, which she did reluctantly.

“Human nature is such a fickle beast. If you tell it not to do something, it desires it all the more. The fruit never looked so appetizing until it was forbidden,” he looked at her, “Have you ever read Oscar Wilde, Mallory?” She shook her head. “Brilliant writer,” they stopped, their eyes meeting, “Perhaps my most favorite quote from him is, “The only way to get rid of temptation, is to yield to it.” I must confess that quote alone influences more of my theology than some parts of Scripture,” he admitted sheepishly before giving a wink, “But that can be our little secret.”

Heat bloomed in her chest, “I’m afraid I don’t really understand.”

He spoke with his hand, the member gliding gracefully through the air, “Consider what happened at your confession as an extreme form of penance. Getting the sin out of your system, freeing the mind,” he smiled, “As long as it is taboo, it dominates your mind, but when you are allowed expression, you dominate it.”

As irregular as it was, Mallory took some comfort in the holy man’s explanation. Though, the ugly head of jealousy peeked through as she thought of anyone else being “helped” by him.

“Has your extreme form of penance worked before?”

His eyes lazily rolled over her figure, smile turning impish, “Are you asking whether or not I’ve made other congregates cum like you?”

Hearing him say it aloud, even so intimately quiet, caused familiar panic to jolt through her; along with a sharp pang of desire.

“No,” he chuckled, “My methods would have me removed from the Church.”

Confused, she tucked her hair behind her ear, “Then why...?”

“Why you?” He finished for her, gazing at her with an admiring look, “You’re different, Mallory. There’s an aura about you, I don’t see any pretense in your faith. You’re...genuine,” he stepped closer, sending a trail of goosebumps down her spine, “Hypocrisy is such a rampant plague among the faithful. In you I see the true image of God. Divinity given human hands.”

She blushed further, if it were possible, “I’ve never seen myself as anything special like that.”

His took her hand between his, The comforting warmth intoxicating.

“Then you do your Creator a great disservice, for he made you with a crown upon your head.”

He looked away for the first time, as if embarrassed, “And, well, I was also purging my own sins in that confessional.”

Her heart jumped.

“I didn’t think you thought of me in that way.”

He laughed, low and gentle, “I’ve thought of you in every way, Mallory.”

She had a flashing thought of him with her pinned against the pew, but threw it away.

“And if you are willing,” he continued, letting go of her hand, leaving a trace of abandonment,”I’d like to make good on my offer for us to discuss this in more detail.”

Her mind demanded she say no. What kind of woman was she to be alone with the priest she lusted over?

“How so?”

He held his hands behind him, “Are you free on Friday night by any chance?” She knew it was the decent thing to say no, “Yes, I am.”

“How about dinner at around 6-6:30? I promise I’m just as good a cook as I am a preacher.” She nodded, “That sounds great.”

He looked so pleased, “Wonderful, let me tell you my address.”

__________________

She stared at herself in the mirror of her bathroom for an hour; her makeup, her dress, her hair, even practicing how she would say hello.

“Good evening, Father,” she smiled at her reflection before shaking her head. Too formal.

She gave a toothy grin, nearly bouncing on her heels, “Hi! Thanks for inviting me.” She groaned, cringing. Too peppy.

She took in a deep breath and said pleasantly, “Hi, Father Langdon. Thank you for inviting me.”

She sighed, frustrated with herself, and shut off the light, heading into her room. She grabbed her purse and keys, taking one last glance in the mirror before leaving.

She didn’t know what to expect his house to look like, but it didn’t come as a surprise as she pulled into the driveway.

It was a modern Victorian home, painted black. A small garage sat adjacent to a set of stairs leading to the door underneath an archway. Three windows gazed over the garage in a semicircle overlook, the blinds closed. It wasn’t gaudy in any way, but it was most certainly gothic set against the starry sky.

She locked her car and cautiously mounted the steps, ringing the silver button doorbell; a pleasant chime emanating from inside.

After a few moments, the door opened; Father Langdon’s gracious tone welcoming her.

“Hello, Mallory.”

He was everything she expected from the feet up, black boots and pants; but it shifted once her eyes drawn up. He wore a black shirt, sleeves reaching to his wrists, a normal solid collar around his neck, but his shoulders and collar bones were exposed through mesh, stopping just above his chest. His smile was genuine, under eyes framed in black eyeshadow. He was a vision of something so feminine, yet radiating with power. She was hit with a bout of shock. A strange feeling formed in her chest, confusion, desire, fear all swirling together.

She mumbled a hello under her breath.

“I’m so glad to see you.”

She managed a squeaky, “You too.”

He stepped back, extending his arm, “Please come in.”

She noted the large square ring on his middle finger as she stepped inside the little parlor. Cylindrical lights hung from the ceiling bathing the cream walls in a gentle hue; an ornate black staircase leading to the second floor.

“You look beautiful,” he commented looking over her simple dress.

She breathed for what felt like the first time since seeing him, “Thank you. You look...different.”

He chuckled, “I like playing with expectations,” he quirked an eyebrow, “Do you like it?”

She gulped, “I do, it looks…” she held herself back from saying ‘sexy’, “Good.”

He smirked, as if reading her thoughts, and invited her to the dining room.

Dinner went by normally. They talked about life. How Mallory was fairing in her senior year of college, how her family was doing back in Georgia, etc. He never went into too much detail about himself, even when she would ask. He only told her that he had moved to the city after his ailing grandmother died and that he’d been a minister for five years. Nothing else, he was strangely guarded for how sociable she  knew him to be at the Cathedral.

Afterward, they’d moved to a small sitting room, where he poured two glasses of wine. He handed her the glass and settled into the leather chair, taking a sip, “So, tell me, if we may get down to business, pardon the expression,” he laughed, “what attracts you to me?”

She stopped her lips parted over the rim of her glass.

He grinned sympathetically, “Come on, there really is no point in being coy about it. And that is why we’re here,” he sipped before setting it on a small table next to him, “To exorcise your demons, so to speak.”

She swallowed a too big gulp of the wine before nervously fingering the stem, “You’re...very attractive, charismatic, charming,” she glanced up at him, “you command a room.”

He hummed, intertwining his fingers, “Have you often had attractions to authority figures in your life?”

She thought of her youth minister back in 9th grade. He was a cute, recent seminary graduate; she became his favorite student to gain his attention. Guys her age just didn’t appeal to her all that much.

“Some.”

“Do you like being dominated?”

He asked it so brazenly, it hit her like a slap to the face. She shrugged, stuttering, “I...I guess I have a proclivity to...follow the rules.”

His voice became a commanding growl, his controlled expression never shifting, “That’s not what I asked.”

Heavy heat settled between her legs at his tone; she yipped a response, like following an order, “I like the idea of it.”

His hand rested under his chin, his eyes burning with curiosity, “Why? Is it being helpless?”

She shook her head, her voice maintaining a tinny as she confessed, “Not helpless. Just the idea of being corrupted,” she looked him in the eyes, “Of an attractive older man taking an innocent and dirtying her up. Letting go of certain standards that keep me so rigid.”

A low, pleased note rumbled behind his smirk, “Are you a virgin, Mallory?”

She cleared her throat, “Technically I suppose, I’ve never been...penetrated.” Her face was red, “I let one guy finger me, but it was kinda uncomfortable.”

He tilted his head, waiting for her to explain.

“Like, he was kinda rough and he sorta blamed me for not cumming.”

That made his lip curl into a snarl, “What a stupid, useless boy.”

Her pulse was pounding in her ears, breathing becoming shallow. He remained a vision of calm confidence.

He gripped both arms of his chair, leaning closer, something dark coloring his eyes, “What makes you wet?”

A spear of cold shock and yearning pierced her core, “I’m sorry?”

His smile grew, slightly shaking his head, as if at a young child’s antics. He leaned back, looking like a king on his throne, “What makes,” his tone was languid, “your gorgeous little pussy hungry for a big cock to pin you down and own you?”

She released an audible gasp, her body trembling. She swallowed hard, “What you just said.”

He nodded, “Dirty words. What else?”

She felt entranced, his icy eyes stripping away her inhibitions, “Things that are forbidden, things that would make me seem like a whore.”

“Hmmm…” He bit his lower lip, moving his hand; his fingers practically danced from his chest to just above his belt, “It’s quite forbidden for anyone, let alone a priest, to touch themselves while another looks on.”

She watched his hand glide to his crotch, palming the growing bulge. She licked her lips at his tiny groans of pleasure as he played; his knuckles were white, gripping the leather, “Do you like that?”

She nodded, a bit too eagerly. He giggled, a breathy evil sound, “What’s the dirtiest thing you can think to do right now?”

Her voice was thick, “Crawl on my hands and knees and grind on your cock.”

He let out another chuckle as he bit his lip again, his hand palming the black fabric of his pants faster, needing more friction, “You naughty little sinner, wanting to seduce a man of the cloth like that,” he sneered, “Shame on you.”

She set her glass on a counter, dropping to her knees and crawled to him slowly, her eyes wide and reverent. He held out his hand to beckon her, and she sat on his lap; releasing a choked moan as his bulge bucked against her wet slit through her panties. Her hips rocked slowly, earning her a needy groan from him; his hands grabbing her ass, “Oh, temptress, what man beset by you could resist?”

He pulled her closer, making her move a little faster. His lips left wet kisses on her neck. She smelled like citrus, her skin soft and flushed under the attention of his mouth.

“The things I want to do to you,” he growled.

His tongue licked a stripe from the curve of her neck to her ear, softly biting it, “Will you let me purge you, Mallory? Will you let me cleanse you of all these filthy lusts?”

Her hands clutched his shirt, her head thrown back; she intended to grind out every frustrating urge he made her feel. Without warning, his hand was at her throat; gripping just tight enough to cause her eyes to be taken over by fear, then lust.

“You’re such a pretty little lamb,” he muttered, his other hand sliding up Her body to cup her breast, “straying from the flock of the faithful to play with the wolves,” he chuckled, rubbing his thumb over the now hardened nipple through the dress fabric, “Such a bad little saint. But you crave the wolf, don’t you?”

His lips hovered just above hers, “You want to feel that wild, uncontrollable passion, you want to be left gasping, aching, the wolf’s fang marks left in your skin. So when your good shepherd finds you, you’ve been dirtied, defiled,” he tightened his grasp, “claimed.”

She moved her hand to brush over his clothed cock. He wrenched her closer, their warm breath passing between them, “And even when you’re back safe and sound in your little pen, you’ll be thinking about the wolf and how fucking good he felt. Because no one has ever touched you like he did.”

She looked like a frightened deer, doe eyes filled with desire.

“Get on the floor.”

She slipped off of him, her bare knees hitting the carpet.

“Take out my cock,” he commanded.

She undid his belt and pulled down his pants, freeing him. Hunger overtook her as she wrapped her lips around the head, sucking gently.

He gasped, “Eager little slut.”

She massaged his balls, taking more of him into her mouth. He groaned, fingers threading through her hair. She gripped his thighs, gagging as he hit the back of her throat. He moaned and began to roll his hips, fucking his cock in and out of her mouth. Drool poured down his shaft as she moaned gargled noises around his thickness. Tears pricked at her eyes as she pulled back, his dick making a wet pop as it exited her mouth; a strand of saliva still connecting her bottom lip to his head, now red and leaking.

He caressed her cheek, as she dragged her tongue over each ridge, lapping up his precum.

“Come here,” his raspy voice told her.

She propped herself on his knees, her eyes falling to his full, beautiful lips. He tipped her chin with his forefinger, “Oh, would you like a kiss?”

She responded quietly, “Please?”

He cupped the back of her head, bringing their foreheads together, their lips centimeters apart, “How adorable, my little lamb,” he tugged a fistful of her hair, “Maybe once you’ve earned it.”

His gaze focused on her glossy mouth, “Although,” he leaned in to graze her bottom lip with his tongue, “I’d love to taste your adoration for my big cock in your pretty mouth.”

He pulled back with a tiny smirk, “But patience is a virtue.”

He delivered a swift, hard slap to her ass, her tiny yelp making his cock jerk.

“Follow me.”

[helihi]

The Good, The Bad, and The Dirty: RWBY Vol 6 E 12

I wish I could’ve enjoyed this, but the fact that this episode could’ve been perfectly merged with last weeks episode for a rightful 23-25 minute episodes makes me angry.

Overall rating: 3/10

A.N.: First we got all buildup, now we got all pay off. Why do they keep doing this?

The Good:

Quick spoilers for the review ahead: most of the contents of this section are about the Bee vs. Adam fight. In fact, the 3/10 rating is earned because of this since I was just bored during the fist half and during the cliffhanger.

A quick shoutout to Ruby for figuring out an alternative way to neutralize Cordovin without yelling it or making it as obvious as Oscar’s plan was. TBH the writers did a poor job trying to execute the first plan by being just as obvious to make it not work.

This week the fight between Blake, Yang and Adam continues, but unlike last week, both girls get to fight by each others side. What’s really interesting about the scenes showcased on this episode is the way both adapt to their current circumstances and still manage to get that sweet Bumbleby combo we’ve experienced in previous volumes.

They are both quick on their feet, always in sync. Blake’s evasive technique and light hits help to destabilize Adam while Yang carries the punch (literally). She distracts him and positions him right where Yang needs him to be. Not only that, but she makes sure Adam cannot absorb any of Yang’s heavy hits, completely conscious of how that can backfire.

Of course, the ribbon combo attack the pair is known for makes a comeback. This time, Yang grabs what’s left of Gambol Shroud to protect Blake and is the one throwing her partner around.

The flying cat Faunus is not strong enough to break Adam’s stance and she’s thrown away, and her aura breaks. Like everyone guessed, Blake’s aura is purple, the same shade Yang’s bandana is ;)

Now is Yang’s turn to hold her ground against Adam while she keeps an eye on Blake, who could easily fall to there death. hOW THE FUCK CAN SHE CLIMB WITH HEELS.

“The moment of truth, Yang. Do you think you’re faster than you were at Beacon?”

Yang trembles.

“Me neither.”

Here’s the second thing I wanted to point out about this fight: Adam still tries to use manipulation to get the upper hand. He knows a part of Blake still fears him, and he knows Yang’s trauma is associated with him.

Again and again he has tried to exploit this, but once more: he fails.

Yang goes for an evasive tactic rather than an offensive one, more proof of her character development.

Adam continues taunting, because he has no other tools or tactics he can use. He desperately tries to clutch to power, even though last episode showed him that Yang and Blake are at their strongest when together.

This is why he wanted to sever that link in volume 3. Even if he didn’t know how good of a team they were, he knew the best way to break Blake was through Yang.

“What does she even see in you!” remarks how out of his element Adam is. He lost the fight before he actually lost it.

Yang’s Semblance makes a return, but TBH the animation was pretty underwhelming considering we’ve waited for its comeback for about 3 years. I think Adam’s Moonslice animation has been maintained. Everything from the color palette shift, to the way the red on his outfit lights up. His presence is there.

Yang’s Semblance doesn’t bust in victorious and glorious. It’s more like a tame flame. I appreciate the fire effects, and the way Yang’s moments are highlighted with 2D yellow effects, but where’e the frame distortion? The glowing red eyes? The final punch was nice, but overall, I’m disappointed.

Finally, the moment we all have been waiting for comes: Adam Taurus’s death. Have some popcorn peeps. There was no other way to end the whole arc, Adam was irredeemable.

If you wanted me to be honest, I thought Adam was going to fall to his death in some fight scenario where he was so consumed by anger and his obsession that he looses it; or Yang was going to be the one ending it.

Having them both kill him, with both halves of Gambol Shroud no less, is so fucking powerful and fitting. Of course, quite traumatic for Blake, who would be the one most affected by it.

I think they nailed the reaction. Aside from the obvs Bumbleby excitement, Blake breaking down, the remainder of the promise and Yang comforting her so delicately is the perfect way to end this arc.

Unfortunately, it isn’t quite as cathartic and beautiful since we’re cut short by the need to establish another cliff hanger.

The Bad:

I see people left and right on RT’s forms, Tumblr and YouTube praising the CRWBY for getting better at pacing or even “nailing” it.

Boi, oh boi, could you not be more wrong.

This episode could and should’ve been part of last episode. There’s no reason why any writer would cut the momentum episode 11 carried for a cheap cliff hanger and have the resolution to the fights be concluded 7 days later.

Do you know what real shows do? They make a two parter. A half an hour special.

I could bring up AtlA, but I’m going to bring up SU.

Do you know what’s going to happen next Monday on CN?

A 45 minute special Steven Universe season finale.

You know why?

Because the best way to finalize the diamond arc is by paying off all the buildup with a huge chunk of content! The decision to have the final 4 episodes group together to deliver some satisfactory pay off will be a blast.

Yes, we don’t know how season is going to end, but I can fucking tell you this special is the best way to end this arc.

SU’s atrocious schedule has made a lot of people drop the show, and I don;’t blame them. CN doesn’t know what its doing, and it’s purposefully killing shows with this (Se also: Adventure Time).

However, if there’s something the Crewniverse know how to do is delivering a story that can fit an episode.

A beginning/set up, a middle and a resolution/ending.

RWBY doesn’t do that. Episodes are: all build up, all buildup + some middle, some middle+tiny resolution.

The only way one can truly enjoy RWBY is by binge watching it, but unfortunately, RT doesn’t release the episodes Netflix style.

Do they change and adapt their writing because of this?

No, they don’t.

The problem wasn’t that the RWBY girls were separated, it’s that the writing team doesn’t know how to properly pace a story for an audience.

Also, is anyone bothered by the fact that no matter how many times Cordovin hit the Atlesian ship, that thing could still work?

Way to kill the momentum.

The Dirty:

I see a lot of people reflagging GIFs of Ruby and Qrow showing how much the girl has grown and how conflicted he might be, and TBH I see what you do.

I know Qrow looks at Ruby and probably thinks of Summer.

Summer is dead; Ruby is not, and Qrow wants to keep it that way. But Ruby is on her way to becoming an adult, she’s the leader on her team, a figure to her friends and the protagonist of the show. She has to show she’s prepared to take a stance.

Awesome scenes guys! You forgot something tho:

Rubys conflict.

Just like the glazed over Oscars big “this is what I stand for” moment of his arc, we never see Ruby at her weakest.

People complained of this during volume 4, but have you not notice she has not broken down or showed a real crisis? This 5 minutes with the apathy is not enough, and though I love her questioning Ozpin, I feel this needed more fuel.

Sometimes it feels like the writers know what a protagonist is supposed to sound like and act like, but don’t quite get how they got there.

Oh yeah, Grimm show up btw. We all knew this so meh.

Overall rating: 3/10

A.N.: Someone should really teach Miles and Kerry the ways episodes are structured. It’s season 6 and still haven’t grasped how to write an episodic series.

[slaps6787]

REWRITING THE FLASH SEASON 3

I wrote this last year, but never actually posted it... and since season 4 is coming to an end, and i’m once again disappointed with all the missed opportunities they had I decided this needed to see the light of day (I plan on doing this again after the season 4 finale).

Episodes 1 - 4

- I would have made flashpoint a multiple episode arc. Pretty much 90% of the promotion for season 3 was THEY’RE DOING FLASHPOINT, and i was very disappointed after it was only 1 episode. I would extend it, and play with it a little more.

- I would keep the Westallen courtship/ dating the same I FREAKING LOVED IT, that would be one of the things in wouldn’t change, that was one thing the writers did right

- Next I would’ve had iris secretly picking up the slack for Joe at work. Like she would secretly picking up his cases, and using her investigative reporter skills to solve them, so Joe could keep his job. (wally would help out too)

- I kinda liked Joe being a deadbeat cop, and it would show Iris’s compassion and her just wanting to help people (he would eventually come around)

- Wally would make his own suit, and struggling to balance college and being the flash (like he’s really smart, and is a mechanical engineer like cisco, let him be smart and a college kid) Plus I would love for Wally to try to secretly get out of class, and find an excuse for why he’s leaving

- I also would love for Barry and Iris solve a case together, they combine their CSI and reporter skills to solve a case, and would be working to solve the case     (next bullet point) In the comics they work together a lot, I want to see it happen

- Cisco I would honestly make an evil millionaire, (the person Barry and Iris are trying to take down) I loved reverb, Carlos is an amazing actor, let’s make him a cocky, stuck up, asshole who hates Iris west for exposing his company, and “The Flash” for destroying his company (I don’t have details, i just like the idea) And the Rival was a weak useless villain, and i’m sick of Speedsters not being fast enough against other speedsters

- Harrison wells would work for Cisco (like one of his henchmen) cause I like Tom Cavanagh, and I want him in here. Maybe he would try and Go after Iris or flash (details not fully figured out)

- Caitlin would be Wally’s “doctor” if anything happened to Wally they would go to her. I’m confused AF on what Caitlin’s job is, in season 1 she’s a Bio-engineer, and season 3 she’s a doctor, I know they’re not the same job. So i’m making her a doctor. We would only see her once in like the first episode, and like twice in the last episode. Helping out Wally. They only know her because Iris and Caitlin were friends (I hated how the only 2 females on the show aren’t friends, they’ve even been through the same situations, WTF writers)

- I would want to see more of barry with his parents, that breakfast scene in flashpoint was adorable, i would add a few more of those scenes

- But they only part I would keep is when his Flashpoint life goes downhill (losing memories and speed) Maybe Joe AND Wally get stabbed/ shot, and that would be the ultimate reason Barry leaves, because he realizes he screwed up, and is ruining lives

- Barry would not be the flash, I honestly hated when he suited up again, let Wally star for a little bit

- Barry would leave the end of 4, and pick up in episode 5

- Ultimately keep it light and fun and out of star labs

Episode 5

- This would be the returning back to the “original” timeline. I would make very clear what did and didn’t happen regarding season 1 and 2 (I was extremely confused on what did and didn’t happen in the new timeline I would make it very clear, and I would keep the changes the same, but the repercussions would last longer

- Iris and Joe still wouldn’t talk, Cisco’s brother would be dead, Caitlin would be Killer Frost, but Wally would have his powers (I didn’t like waiting) Julian would be introduced

- Westallen would also be official in this episode

- Jessie Quick and Harry would be introduced at the end of this episode

- Some other changes… In all honestly this is more of a filler episode explaining things

- I would get rid of Dr. Alchemy, he was useless and Savitar could do what what he did, we have to keep they focus on Savitar

Episode 6

- I would make this a West Family episode with some hints of Killer Frost.

- I feel like Iris would want Wally to be Kid Flash (felt OOC her discouraging it in the crossover) but Joe wouldn’t want Wally to use his powers so you get them “dueling” and Wally would just be confused on what he wants, and what’s best

- Wally ultimately decides to become Kid Flash

- Cisco would be salty towards Barry, but not depressed (it was a bummer)

- Barry would refuse to train wally (he’s way too busy with life) That’s when wally calls Harry and Jesse and asks them to train him

- They travel earths, and they help Wally (I LOVE Jessie Quick, and I want to see her train Wally a bit)

- Barry is trying to reconnect Iris and Joe, but they aren’t having it (I love the wests, and this storyline could be interesting, so i would make it a couple episodes; I would keep the reason they’re disconnected the same)

- Barry learns he can solve this, and just have to let it play out

- Caitlin’s struggling with her powers (Killer First is making an appearance a couple times, but controls herself)  and it leads to the next episode

Episode 7

I would keep this episode the same, I didn’t hate it, let Caitlin shine a little bit. Only change I would make is that Cisco would snap Caitlin out of Killer Frost instead of Barry (Caitlin and cisco have a MUCH stronger relationship than Barry and Caitlin)

Episode 8

This episode would also be mainly the same (I don’t watch Supergirl or legends, and I stopped watching Arrow after season 4) biggest change would be adding Jesse Quick and Wally West (They need more people to take down aliens)

Episode 9

- This episode would be pretty much the same

- Harry and Jesse would leave in this episode, and introduce HR

- Jay Garrick pops up in this episode

- Barry would still go to the future, and see Iris die, but seeing that convinces him to get everyone together and happy for the holidays

- Joe and Iris would make up

- Cisco and Barry would make up

- The ending would be the same (Party at the west house) and Barry and Iris move in together

- Not horribly different, I liked this episode

Episodes 10, 11

would stay the same Those episodes were great, and we still had hope then

Episode 12

Only Difference I would make is Iris gets targeted by Yorkin because she’s feeling ballsy she exposes him, for murdering people and gets hit then

Episode 13 + 14

I would still make a 2 parter, but not at gorilla city (it bored me) What always bothers me about this show is they have endless possibilities, but they stay in star labs all the damn time. The Earth 2 episodes are from last year are 2 of my favorite episodes from this series. I would have Cisco go to earth 19 to chase after Gypsy, and get’s stuck there. So HR, Barry, Wally all go to earth 19 to get him back, and we see Different versions of all the characters (IDK what to do with them yet)

- While they’re away I would put Iris through the 5 stages of grief

- She would still be in the denial stage, but looking into savitar, and learning more about him, and actively trying to stop her death

- Joe would be trying to spend A LOT of time with Iris, and would constantly be checking in on her. (He’s just an emotional mess honestly)

- I would spend these 2 episodes setting a strong friendship with Julian (I hated how he was another bland love interest for her) I’d make them bro’s

- And the proposal would not happen until the musical episode (more on that later)

Episode 15

- This episode was depressing AF, and useless

- I would introduce Tracy Brand now (I LOVE her but she came out of nowhere)

- She’s a scientist who is interested in Meta humans

- Tracy approaches Iris to help her with some research to prove her “hypothesis” because Iris has written about Meta humans before

- They work together and they become friends (because we need more female friendships)

- Wally and Barry Train

- Caitlin and Cisco work together

- Just a fun filler episode

- Joe finds out that he get’s honored at city hall (because what happened to the plot line)

Episode 16

- Another depressing, and filler episode,This would be a Joe West episode. He finds out he get’s honored in the future, so the episode is basically him being a lousy cop, doing everything to not get honored. (More on savitar later...)

- Little hints of Killer Frost, she’s slowly losing it

- Iris is still researching savitar

- Joe ultimately fails, and does something amazing, and does get honored anyway (no details figured out)

- Joe refuses to be honored, but everyone convinces him to go

- Everyone attends the ceremony, and is all dressed up (I always wanted Barry and Iris go somewhere as a couple)

- But Joe doesn’t show up

- Iris finds out that Joe didn’t show up because he doesn’t want her to die

- And she’s sick of people treating her differently because they know she might die (This is the Anger part of the 5 stages of grief)

- She’s mad at Barry because everything is his fault, she might die because of him

- Plus I low key like when they fight, and this takes away all they forced angst between them with the first proposal, and we give iris more of a POV for her death

Episode 17

I would keep the musical the same, I personally loved this episode. And by taking out the first proposal, this one is more impactful

Episode 18

- I hated the plot for this episode, it furthered nothing. But I liked abra kadabra

- Abra Kadabra would be on the run from Gypsy (trying to get back to his century)

- Iris would be at the “bargaining” stage of grief, and bargains with him to give her information, but he doesn’t

- I was hoping for some tornado twins or impulse foreshadowing

- SO maybe Abra doesn’t help Iris because he knows that if she lives she has kids, and their grandkids become his greatest enemy (I didn’t like barry being his enemy, just felt stupid)

- Caitlin would somehow become Killer Frost (idk why yet, I just didn’t like the - whole “Caitlin is dead” we know a version of her is coming back, and Danielle Panabaker does a WAY BETTER JOB AS KILLER FROST THAN CAITLIN)

Episode 19

- I would keep this episode the same, only 2 differences

- Iris would be at the depression stage, you see her break down, and finally being vulnerable

- Barry would return to the future and FREAKING GIVE IRIS ALL THE LOVE (low key add a reunion sex scene because i’m thirsty AF)

- Yeah I didn’t hate this episode

Episode 20

- I would make this episode all about Barry and the speedforce, and use this episode as a set up for the season finale when he leaves (since it sort of came out of nowhere)

- And this is when Caitlin goes full killer frost (a good chuck of the episode would be dedicated to her)

Episode 21

- I honestly wouldn’t change a thing about this episode, favorite episode of the season

- But maybe give Barry a real reason to get his memory back

Episode 22

- This episode would play out like how 22 played out, I liked captain cold, and personally loved this episode, except for the “iris died” ending

- Iris is at the acceptance stage of grief, and goes around saying her “goodbyes”

Episode 23

- I would make this episode an intense, earth hopping, basically one big chase to keep Iris hidden from Savitar, and let everyone uses their powers to fight against savitar

- Every person with meta powers would chip in and keep her safe

- HR would not die, i love him as a character, and it was too predictable

- And the season would end with Iris not dying because of The Thinker, since we know he’s the big bad in S4 because Iris is apart of his “big plan”

- I hate how predictable this show has become, none of the “twists” were surprising, I heard theories on how the season would end and it did the way everyone predicted. With the HR swap.

- Barry would only go into the speed force for reasons in “my” episode 20

One shall betray- Caitlin

One will Fall- Iris

One will suffer a fate worse than death- Barry

SO yeah, this was a long ass post but, I was mad and angry with where the Flash is going as a series

So if I was in charge this is how it would’ve went

[sleepymarmot]

DS9 season 2 liveblog

[Season index: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 PS]

The Homecoming

They're opening the season with a three-parter about Bajoran-Cardassian problems, and Dukat will show up right in the first episode? The writers are not wasting time...

Sisko's unusually cheerful.

Again, I'm amazed at this new heroic O'Brien who is so unlike the background character I've watched press buttons for years.

One does not simply walk into a Cardassian camp! Unless you're these two.

This is completely crazy! What'll stop the Cardassians from destroying their ship?

Just as I was going to say "Why not beam the wounded right from the runabout?", they actually do so -- but just after exiting it. Is there any in-universe reason behind it, or just the ease of fiming?

Why is Dukat being so friendly? Maybe he has spies among the freed Bajorans? If so, it better not be Li Nalas himself...

Bashir you're embarrassing yourself -_-

Quark, why are you always such an ass to your brother? Is that really necessary?

Poor guy.

Oooookay?? The previous scene made me completely trust him, but now my suspicions are stronger than ever. He's replacing Kira? Seriously? That has got to be someone's plan.

Well, this episode was meaty. And it really seems like the show is finding its feet -- unlike Duet, this episode didn't remind me of the other series and feels uniquely DS9.

The Circle

Aw, Odo's being a good friend! I don't remember him ever becoming so agitated before.

Vedek Winn as guest star? *grinds teeth in advance*

what a mess... I don't know if it's funny or sad. What a contrast to Data's friendly, nice and organized goodbye party :D 

"These are my... these are my friends" 

Do the Prophets really need to show her this sexy crap? Also, I'm too faceblind, is the guy in the vision the freedom fighter or the priest?

Odo and Quark!

I don't understand, which of these two is trying to convince the other to support them? And I don't like how blatantly evil they act.

AUGHHHH NOT A STUPID STARFLEET ADMIRAL AND THE PRIME DIRECTIVE!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!! GET THIS CRAP AWAY FROM ME!

(Seriously though, you say "Prime Directive", I hear "stupid bureaucratic crap that gets in the way of doing the obviously right thing". Either retire it or write it better, dammit!)

The Siege

Okay, I might change my mind by the end of the episode, but this might be the strongest of the multi-episode stories so far.

Aww Nog

"The Cardies" haha

Ugh, don't do the "wife asks husband not to be a hero" thing

The freedom fighter becomes a leader for real!

Sisko and Bashir turn and walk away in sync lol

"Is that a spider or a dog?"

Please stop ruining your engaging story with scenes about cartoonish villains...

I've... actually completely forgotten that O'Brien had been in the Cardassian war until this very moment. That's probably why he has been so opinionated, not just because of Picard. 

That's it? Kinda underwhelming.

Ugh, killing Li Nalas? I didn't expect this show to cling so hard to status quo...

The first episode was the most impactful, but the entire story is still very impressive, epic and engaging!

Invasive Procedures

End of previous episode: Everyone happily returns after evacuation! Beginning of this episode: The station has been evacuated

Quark and Odo: *bicker* O'Brien: Ughhhh get a room already

Previous episodes: main characters defeat the forces of the entire Bajor This episode: DS9 is easily hijiacked by a handful of mercs & amateurs

That's an impressive "As you know" speech, Dax

When will poor Jadzia get an episode that's not about her being victimized and quietly accepting death?

Yes, I get it, the entire thing is just a plot device to show us Dax without Jadzia (and hopefully, Jadzia without Dax, if she'll be awake for it?), get on with it please

I hope the second half of the episode is about Dax working against the antagonist literally from the inside

Well, it's pretty disappointing that Dax by themself has so little personality and moral compass. I guess Sisko was all this time really friends with just Curzon and Jadzia, not Dax. Honestly, it's easier to forgive Quark (who sort of redeemed himself with an amusing scene) than Dax after this episode.

I was planning to go to bed after this one, but hell, I need to wash down this nonsense

Cardassians

I see Bashir has gained a lot of confidence since Past Prologue

"I am no more a spy than you are--" "A doctor"

I guess not everyone is fine with strangers touching them haha

"To us, he isn't even one of them any more" uh.....

"They won't hurt you. They're humans, they're not Cardassians" jfc...

"Don't apologize. It's been the high point of my day. DON'T DO IT AGAIN." 

(Sisko seems to chew out Bashir more often than others. Is Bashir just the most undisciplined?)

Oh, here we go, O'Brien's anti-Cardassian racism again, makes sense for it to be in this episode

Poor Keiko, she's trying so hard

Miles is getting over himself! I'm proud of him

Bashir is learning to yell at people! Two episodes in a row now.

Um, Miles, I don't think it's a great idea to tell these things to the boy's father...

Dukat's neck scared me. is that normal

GOD IT'S EVEN WEIRDER FROM THE FRONT why am I so bothered by this lmao. honestly was their casting requirement "not only be able to look ominous without actually doing anything, but to have an extremely long neck so we could sculpt interesting things around it"? i'm sorry i'm gonna shut up about this now

Garak if you hold that satisfied smile for some time more you're going to turn into a child-drawn picture of a sun

I love that Dukat doesn't even bother to finish the conversation, he just turns around and leaves without a word the moment it becomes clear that he lost

Ugh, poor boy... What a choice. Abusive family he loves and considers his own or the planet of strangers from an unfamiliar culture he hates, both claiming to love him and expecting him to identify with them? Even if they didn't tell who took him in the end -- he gets a bad deal either way.

it's much more easier to take Garak seriously when he's not dressed like a grandma who stopped giving a fuck 20 years ago. that's probably why he does dress like this, though... but shouldn't that hurt his reputation as a tailor?

This episode was awesome! Exploration of social issues, family drama, political intrigue -- all tightly wound together and making perfect sense. So far the Cardassian stories are the highlight of the show, I hope it's going to stay this way.

It's really weird how Bashir changed between seasons. He hasn't gotten a lot of screentime apart from this episode, but he seems less naive, awkward and bouncy, he's grown more confident, and the crush on Jadzia has disappeared without a trace. Tbh I'm kind of disappointed -- I was expecting a smoother character arc that would let him grow before our eyes and phase out his immature traits one by one. Same goes for his relationship with Garak -- we've only seen their meeting and now they act like besties, how did they get here?

No, wait, let me get back to the plot of the episode. So Dukat had a politician's child kindapped just in case that politician becomes his opponent at some indefinite point in the future, so that he could go through another complicated scheme to humiliate him? Had he absolutely nothing better to do?!! Did he arrange something like this for everyone who could ever possibly cross him?

Melora

Um, Julian, that sounded a bit too much like Geordi's style of creepy almost-stalking...

Wait, Melora is Grace Holloway? :D I didn't recognize her until the familiar name appeared on screen.

She complains about being treated differently and about following the same rules as everyone else in the same breath. Did the writers make her hypocritical on purpose?

Why is he doing this? Is he actually interested in her as a woman? Does he want to help her acclimatize? Or to put her in her place?

Okay, the low gravity scene is pretty cute even if it doesn't make much sense

Daphne Ashbrook in all your fandoms, kissing all of your pretty Doctors

so far it seems like in season 2 the good episodes are better than in season 1, but the mediocre ones are worse

god, the writing and design are so bad, I don't want to list everything that doesn't make sense to me, let's just move on

Rules of Acquisition

I was tired but the plot twist woke me up!!

Dax is so sweet

Poor Pel :( Shitty Ferengi values win again I guess 

Well, I'm glad he took a stand after all. And that they kissed. HELP I'M HAVING FEELINGS ABOUT FERENGI ROMANCE

Necessary Evil

Aw, Sisko called Rom "a family friend"

...so do Odo and Sisko perform the bad cop-good cop routine often?

yoo a flashback! I was wondering how Dukat was going to fit into this

"Cardassian neck trick" I... think I've already said enough on the subject lol

First meetings!

First meetingS!

I was distracted for some reason and didn't appreciate this episode enough :/ But it was very good!

Second Sight

Yikes Sisko don't embarrass yourself

"She's a married woman" "That would have never stopped Curzon" ew

ah I've missed the starship uniforms

what a boring episode. can we stop with the love interests of the week, please? I don't understand why the writers are suddenly forcing them so hard this season, and watching three of these in one day has turned my brain into soup. okay, Rules of Acquisition worked, but Melora and this episode were terrible!

(only pros: gorgeous woman, gorgeous dress)

Sanctuary

What was even the point of the universal translator not working for a while? This had nothing to do with the story, and the only thing it did was to remind the viewer how implausible the entire concept is.

Second mention of the Dominion -- I guess we'll meet them in the season finale?

Yep, I'd be surprised if the promised land didn't turn out to be Bajor

Bajoran Leia!

Wait, why is famine a problem? Why can't the Federation just provide Bajor with replicators? Prime Directive again? I mean, they almost seem to want me to ask this question by cutting right to refugees in front of a food replicator.

Why are they so attached to the idea it MUST be Bajor? Ugh, I hate these stories.

Rivals

Are you implying that El-Aurians have supernatural abilities and all this time people confided in Guinan not because she's charming and wise but because she mind-controlled them? 

Julian is a NERD and Miles is regretting all of his life choices that led to this point

(Gosh, I didn't realize how much I've missed scenes where the main characters just hang out together off-duty)

8 minutes into the episode and I still have no idea what it's about

Are you saying that O'Brien and Bashir's tennis rivalry is legitimately the B-plot because I'm really into it

"Not in this space-time continuum you won't"

oh my goooood

wait a sec, the listener is only figuring it out NOW?! h o w

finally, a really fun silly episode!

The Alternate

Wait, so when Odo is in humanoid form, does he see and hear like us, or "percieve" like in liquid form? Does he have 360 degree vision?

Put it back! This is either a defense mechanism or the environment needs this column to function for some reason; beam it back down

So Bashir's crush on Dax isn't dead? We haven't seen it for so long, I thought it was over. But why is he monologuing? that's just bad writing.

plot twist! D:

god, this doctor is so creepy with his Measure of the Man reenaction

poor Odo is literally having a meltdown :(

Armageddon Game

Another O'Brien and Bashir episode, nice!

Poor Keiko

Bashir's speech about wife and children at home is weirdly sexist, especially since the previous episode re-established his interest in Dax, and his previous romantic involvement this season was a fellow Stafleet officer too -- he should have the opposite problem (which was already discussed in "Melora")!

aw Quark, you don't have to hide behind the Rules of Acquisition to admit you care

Whispers

Everyone around seemed to be acting like he smells bad, does this mean that's actually true?

"It's not doctors I have a problem with, it's--" "You, Julian"

jfc Miles, she's your wife, you should try to talk at least to her

Quark can't name a rule of acquisition by number? alright, for the first time in the episode I believe someone is fake

O'Brien is a badass

Are they absolutely sure the dead one is the clone and the real one takes his place, not the other way around? That was an awfully convenient excuse to shoot a Starfleet officer point blank without anyone asking questions... 

Poor communication kills. At first it seems like something is wrong with O'Brien, but since people refuse to talk to him about it, he becomes convinced literally everyone else is conspiring against him -- and turns out, no, the problem was with him after all! And then they kill him off for no reason just to maintain status quo and avoid the Thomas Riker situation. They could have told him at literally any point instead of being so stupidly vague, but no, gotta keep the plot moving for 45 minutes! Before they found the real O'Brien they could have arrested the clone and told him everything, I'm sure O'Brien would understand; and after they rescued the real one, they could have just transmitted the image, if they're so averse to words. And after acting so stupid, as a final insult the other characters keep talking over their poor dying friend in third person like complete jerks. The episode is great... until that ending. Which just doubles my frustration, because it's one thing when a story is mediocre to begin with, but it really sucks when a wonderful episode is ruined by shitty conclusion.

Paradise

Yes, yes, I get it, this woman would do anything to keep this way of life and probably sabotaged the technology in the first place

What's wrong with replicated food? I hate this stupid trope

did she send the runabout away too?

what the FUCK

look, it might be useful social commentary to depict these rhetoric and tactics, but watching it is still torturous

it adds another level of creepiness that all this shit is done to a black protagonist -- was it intentional?

she's a more proficient torturer than the guy from Chain of Command

this woman is one of the most horrifying antagonists in all Star Trek. she actually believes all this shit

the engineer is supporting her? they all want to stay? for fuck's sake. she made them all see five lights

well. if the writers wanted to upset me, they succeeded

Shadowplay

"How fascinating" :D

"Women don't react to me in that manner" What about Lwaxana, then?

"After seven lifetimes, the impersonal questions aren't much fun anymore"

Yeah, why does a 15 year old need a job?!

The local guy is surprised at Odo beaming up and back down, like he's never seen anything like this before, and two minutes later says he has scanned for transporter activity

I like how the Prime Directive isn't even mentioned :D Or is it a human colony? But isn't this the Gamma Quadrant?

"You want me to spy on Quark for you?" so excited, bless him :D

backstory for that one time Miles played cello on TNG!

I'm glad these villagers are not as conservative and stubborn as people from the previous episode

I am reminded how much more modern DS9's storytelling is than TNG's every time they namedrop the Dominion -- like Doctor Who did ten years later with Bad Wolf, Torchwood etc

I knew he'd transform for the little girl eventually :') Odo reminded me of Data more than usual this time because of the friendship with a child and the episode's general similarity to Thine Own Self. But while Data gets along with kids partially thanks to his own childish (in a good way) qualities, Odo is more like a grumpy but caring grandpa -- I'd even say there's some First Doctor vibe. 

(I'm a bit disappointed the episode didn't follow up on that promise of "Bashir practicing his purely theoretical spying skillz on Quark for Kira", because that sounds absolutely hilarious)

Playing God

Fun-loving cool senpai Jadzia is amazing

Interesting that Jadzia doesn't identify with Curzon at all in this case, despite presumably remembering their interaction from his point of view too

I didn't really understand how they solved the problem but I don't care

This is my favourite Jadzia episode so far. She finally got to show agency, have some fun, show off her professional skills, and explore her own identity (instead of standing around silently while other people explore it). And I love how other characters' scenes are vivid despite shortness: Quark playing tongo with Jadzia and giving well-intentioned if unhelpful advice to the initiate; Bashir's friendship with Jadzia and O'Brien; O'Brien calling across the border about his pest problem; Odo, Kira and Sisko's different approaches to the ethical dilemma.

Profit and Loss

Yesss! Cardassians!

Ooh Quark has romantic history with the pretty Cardassian woman?! This is getting better and better

A scene between Garak and Quark! is it my birthday?

"Personally, I find this style to be a bit too radical. But your friend seems the sort who appreciates that kind of thing" Does he know everything and everyone?! Though come to think of it, this shouldn't have surprised me at all -- even regardless of special channels Garak may use, these dissidents might be well-known to the point that their info is freely available on something like stateenemies.gov.car/wanted

I love how he casually rips an expensive dress to make his point

Passionate lover Quark is so strange to see

Odo's good at playing hard to get

lmao I've waited so long for someone to finally to hug Odo and... :D I do also love his relationship with Quark but I never expected these two things to intersect :D

so, did Garak change his mind on the fly or was he just stalling until that guy comes and can be disposed of?

alright, I amend my previous statement about one-episode love interests: Quark is allowed to have them, if all women who fall for him continue to be this awesome

Blood Oath

What, the holosuites have no sound isolation?! If so, who would ever use them for anything more... private than a recreation of a famous battle?

These Klingons have strange hair

It's so nice to see a young, human-looking woman as an equal to three old Klingons

ah bat'leth fighting, I didn't realize how I've missed it

-- and that young, human-looking woman is more of an old-fashioned honorable Klingon than the rest of them

what an outfit

I'm glad the Klingon interpreted her hesitation so favorably

*reads TVTropes* Wait, all these three are from TOS?! Damn... I could barely tell them apart. I really liked the episode, but turns out I didn't appreciate it nearly enough. Time for a little TOS rewatch?

The Maquis 1

What does the word Nor mean? Terok Nor, Bok'Nor...

The Vulcan woman looks great; nice dress.

"Jake-o" aww

Do Cardassians have a thing for showing up right in your quarters unexpectedly?

"We'll need one of your runabouts" "Where are we going?" Nice one, Sisko

"So you turn off my controls so I don't have enough light to take my photograph?" :D  

"Education is power. Joy is vulnerability" Dukat is being very quotable today?

"Of all the humans I've met you strike me as the most joyless and the least vulnerable" "I am when I'm with you"

Honestly it's as if they are writing Sisko and Dukat's interactions for me personally

I like how the Vulcan is taking Quark's courtship at face value

Wait, is Gul Evek that reasonable guy from Journey's End?

I'm starting to understand Preemptive Strike better -- so it all took place in the demilitarized zone? That makes sense. (How did I miss that?)

"I was looking forward to showing you more ways to mix business with pleasure" "Perhaps in the future. I do find you... intriguing, Quark" im screaming hooly shit I'd never have guessed that Quark of all people would be the chick magnet #1 on this station?? how did he manage to meet a woman this line would actually work on

good shit good shit

The Maquis 2

Sisko gives a show-defining speech!

"Vulcans are a species that appreciate good ears"

something tells me Dukat wasn't the one supplying weapons and the Central Command is trying to kill two birds with one stone -- oh look, this lie was so obvious that for once the characters saw through it right away too

"The Central Command wants him dead. That's reason enough for us to want him alive"

Interesting, Dukat suddenly started acting in a theatrical manner I've only seen in Garak before. Some Cardassian cultural thing?

Haha, I didn't even realize where Sisko was leading the conversation! He's excellent in this story

"With that kind of firepower, the Bajorans could have launched a full-scale assault on Cardassia" "And lost"

Damn, Dukat really has his Intimidate skill maxed out! Sisko fails the Paragon check, Dukat passes the Renegade check.

Finally we see someone explain to a Vulcan why they're being illogical instead of making some bullshit reference to emotion. I love you Quark

the only bad thing about this two-parter is that it kinda made me like the Totalitarian Lizard Man a bit too much??? how dare you. let me go back to my wholesome crushes on Bashir and Jadzia before I start stanning or something

oh, and also I hoped this episode would make the Maquis more sympathetic so I could feel better about Ro Laren leaving Stafleet for them... nnnot much.

The Wire

What a great episode!! I wasn't liveblogging at all because it was too intense. I don't even feel the need to comment on drama or character development -- the story and acting speak for themselves.

Alright, how the hell did Bashir reach Tain? How does one get the home address of the former head of secret service of a foreign empire?! And how did Bashir manage to convince Sisko to authorize this stunt and give him the runabout -- or did he steal it?

The "Elim" reveal isn't really a surprise after you've spent some time near a fandom where people tag characters by full name... 

What interests me now: is Garak going to act differently now that he's not keeping himself drugged? Will he go through withdrawal? In the final scene he pretends everything is Back To Normal, but... Or was the table-flipping scene the extent of his withdrawal symptoms?

Another disjointed thought: this is a wonderful example of a satisfying hurt/comfort story 

Star Trek has some amazingly intense dramas for two actors. The Most Toys, Chain of Command, Duet... This one is different because in order to bring the two characters together and at the same time isolate them from the rest of the world, instead of captivity it uses doctor-patient relationship. Oh, another story from a different fandom it reminds me of, now that I think of it: Scherzo.

Crossover

Lmao it's nice that even after leveling up at unstoppable determination and compassionate badassery in the previous episode, Bashir still can be a ridiculous dork 

...though it is pretty jarring that right after a high drama where he shows his capacity for patience and caring, and greatly deepens his relationship with someone, the next episode opens with the awkwardest attempt at befriending (and flirting?)

I didn't expect Garak to appear in two episodes in a row!

Why is Mirror Kira walking like this...

I started laughing at "I don't have a designation, sir" because my mind immediately went to "There's no need to call me sir, professor"

Female Cardassian guard! And Kira called herself attractive, heh.

Mirror Quark is dressed so poorly...

Okay, Mirror Kira definitely wants to fuck herself -- wait, that's actually canon? Do all evil Kiras hit on women? I wish they'd let our Kira do that too. I know it was written in the nineties, but I really don't appreciate the "evil=bi" trope

Well this was pretty weak. The only mirror character who works well, i.e. exposes the real character's darker side, is Odo. Kira looks just weak and hysterical. (Remember how I complained about her acting in the pilot?) Mirror Garak is actually less intimidating than our Garak.

The Collaborator

Can't say I'm very excited to see Vedek Bareil again. I liked him in his first episode for ideological reasons, but this romance...

Oh no, the Sydney Opera Hat is on the Promenade again? Is she planning another assassination?

"Welcome back. You're under arrest"

The episode was not engaging to watch, but I enjoyed the Grey Morality (tm).

Tribunal

These Cardassians have lost all shame, what do they think they're doing

Evek again, and I think another familiar face?

Yiiikes

Here comes the good cop

I'm glad they're not spending an entire episode on a Chain of Command remake. 

Not telling the accused what they're charged with: a deliberate ploy to mess with their mind, or do the Cardassians not even bother to think about these things anymore?

Huh, Odo had a Cardassian rank that's still valid? That's useful.

Alright, but wasn't O'Brien still declared guilty? So the scheme to discredit the Federation worked?

Also, a missing molar isn't good evidence. Maybe it means that man was just captured and processed by the Cardassians, like O'Brien. And why would a spy alter his appearance but forget about this? You'd think humans and Cardassians have different enough teeth that he'd have to get dental implants anyway. 

I found one good thing about the Cardassian "court"! The judge has fabulous hair.

The Jem'Hadar

Jake!

"I bet we'll have a great time!" "I know we will" Please don't say things like this in the opening scene of a season finale...

Aw poor Sisko :D

"Guess" "He said yes" "Guess again"

Aw Quark needs a hug

Aww kids

Aww Odo cares about Quark

"If the Dominion comes through the wormhole, the first battle will be fought here, and I intend to be ready for them." Well. That's a chilling line to end the season on.

As much as I like it when the Federation arrogance is called out, Quark's speech just doesn't work. "The way I see it, humans used to be a lot like Ferengi. Greedy, acquisitive, interested only in profit. We're a constant reminder of a part of your past you'd like to forget." Well, yeah! That was basically the original concept for their species! "Humans used to be a lot worse than the Ferengi" -- so what? 24th century humans are disgusted by the atrocities of their ancestors, so why can't they also be disgusted by the exact same things perpetuated by their contemporaries? Domestic abuse and sexism are wrong, no matter who does it. Note how this entire speech sidesteps the violent misogyny, aka the Ferengi's most obvious appaling trait. This is like saying "Don't judge the Cardassian state for being totalitarian! That's just their culture, you don't understand!"

General impressions

Bashir and Jadzia finally got some character development!

I live for Cardassian episodes. It's fascinating to see a dystopia in the universe that started as a utopia, and see how characters from both sides deal with each other. 

(Random thought: I want an AU episode like "Crossover" where another universe/timeline's Cardassia is a free state, and for a Cardassian viewpoint character our world is a nightmare scenario just like the Mirror Universe is for our heroes.)

I don't loathe Winn as much as I did in the first season finale. That makes her kind of underwhelming as a recurring antagonist. On the other hand, that might be a good thing, because getting so angry repeatedly couldn't have been good for my health. But because they're represented mainly by the hateful-but-not-enough Winn and the bland Bareil, the Bajoran affairs are usually not as gripping as the Cardassian. I hope to see more of their secular politics next season.

First season was very even; second has two irredeemably clumsy stories (Melora and Second Sight), but a growing number of outstanding ones, too. 

First season was already an improvement over TNG in terms of serialization, and this one is better. Both multi-part stories are brilliant, too. I hope this trend continues. 

A noticeable weakness in the first season was the mundanity of the Gamma Quadrant. No sense of wonder, no noticeably stranger aliens. The introduction of the Dominion and their overwhelming threat partially rectified that problem, bringing back some of the feeling from "Q Who". Yes, setting foot in a far corner of the galaxy should be awesome in both senses of the word, and lead the previously unimaginable dangers right back to your home.

The costume design has visibly improved in this season!