#i don't know how to deal with compliments

[thecottageinthedark]

#incredibly fucking disturbing to me how many people seem to be of the opinion#that baby it's cold outside is the ideal blueprint for how we should treat transfems' transitions#i don't know how to tell you this folks but 'we HAVE to deny women the agency for their own self-determination'#'because they're too stupid and helpless and lacking in insight to POSSIBLY decide for themselves when given the information and support'#'they HAVE to be forced; they HAVE to have someone smarter than them perceive what they are better than they ever could'#'or else the poor little dears will just never ever ever ever ever figure it out 🥺'#is just misogyny! it is just plain old misogyny!#you are not stupid or helpless if you took a long time to figure it out; even if it was '''obvious'''; fuck that#but the people who do this shit think that you are. that is what they're saying. it's not solidarity or a compliment it is infantilization.#i am so sorry you had to deal with this op; i wish you many years yet of enjoying the life that you've chosen for your own self#and i wish anon a very spraycan of raid to the face#transmisogyny cw#transphobia cw#gaslighting cw#queertag#also right as i went to reblog i was reminded that anon brought up forcefem specifically#add 'sexually harassing transfems by treating their identities as inherently sexual + gloating about forcing them to participate in a kink'#to the list of This is Not Praxis or a Cute Meme This is Just Plain Misogyny and You are a Gross Objectifying Piece of Trash#sexual harassment cw

you resisted the forcefemmification beams for too long

Nope. Completely incorrect and wrong.

This is a decision that I made for myself. I made this choice because it's who I want to be. Not because someone else wanted me to for their own pleasure.

[imagionationstation]

BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD! Once you are given this award you're supposed to paste it in the asks of 8 people who deserve it. If you break the chain nothing happens, but it's sweet to know someone thinks you're beautiful inside and out

*looks at you with my big, misty, slightly rounded eyes*

I was. I was not expecting such kindness. That was not how today was supposed to go. AH. No. My heart. So full.

Donnie: Me Leo: You

I WANT TO SPREAD KINDNESS TO OTHERS

OKAY, FIRST EIGHT PEOPLE WHO COME TO MIND, AND GO-

[livemedown]

"I ship [other ship] but I really like your art!" Thank you but you can cut out the beginning! I do care about these characters beyond shipping, for one. If my favorite ships were canon I probably wouldn't like them, actually. I also don't think it's a competition or whatever. I like fanart of ships I don't actively pair all the time. It really doesn't matter! If you like my art and want to tell me, just say you like my art!

[bringbackmaes14]

I mean, personally I prefer male identifiers and use he/they pronouns, but I know what I look like and while it may bum me out a little if someone said "Look that woman's shoes are really cool!" I don't think I'd actually be upset with the stranger because... they're a stranger. Unless I'm literally wearing something that has a trans flag or my pronouns labeled on it, I can't expect every person that looks at me to automatically know how I identify.

And honestly if they're a stranger who I'll probably never see again, I won't make a big deal out of correcting them. It's not going to have a big impact on their life or my life if they know or remember my pronouns if I only see them now.

If they're a stranger who I might be spending a lot of time around, like a classmate or a coworker, even if I won't interact with them face to face a lot, I'll probably correct them, but otherwise it's easier to just accept the compliment and go about my day.

Hypothetical scenario: Upon seeing you, a stranger on the street turns to their companion and says something positive about some aspect of your appearance that you have control over, such as "look at this [person/woman/man/guy/girl]! [their/his/her/xir] outfit is so cool!"

We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[narcopathyfiles]

Hey guys one question if you could help i'd be really grateful 😭 it might make me sound stupid as fuck but like anyways uhm if the topic ever happebed to come up how could i say that i think chubby and fat women are hot without sounding like a fetishist,

[lesbianwyllravengard]

so my general paranoia has always been pretty bad (hi ocd) but I thought it was more manageable the past few years as I've matured and gotten better at catching myself before I spiral, but recently (as in the past three weeks or so) it's been so bad that I do things impulsively as I'm spiralling without even realising it and it's been negatively affecting the way I perceive how friends think of me which I do NOT want to start happening again because that sucked. Idk why it's happening but I'd be grateful for any advice idrk what else to say about it.

[knightofleo]

[doctormohansamira]

God, yes.

Robby explicitly thinks of Langdon as his best resident and recommends him for a fellowship in medical education. Robby sees Langdon as his heir...but Langdon isn't equipped for that leadership role yet!

Something about the Mohan-Robby dynamic that makes it hit home so viscerally watching is...Robby does not apologize when he's wrong. When Mohan told him about Nandi's mercury exposure, he immediately pivoted from being mad she hadn't done what he wanted to being mad she hadn't consulted him about it. With Langdon, though, his behaviour was much less erratic. He acknowledged his previous criticism – after he yelled at him for screaming at Santos, he told him he taught Whitaker well. The compliment was directly connected to something he was mad about, unlike how with Mohan, the compliments were pretty much unrelated to the criticism – even the "Slo-Mo No-Mo" joke is pretty unrelated, as we had not once seen her hesitate during a situation where a patient was in immediate threat of death. Ten minutes into the first episode, she's leading a trauma response! It all really drives home the fact that Robby is not clearly seeing her strengths, and that a big part of his criticism is him having an emotional reaction.

And the way Robby treated both of them shifted hugely after the revelation of Langdon's drug abuse. He was angrier with her about her opioid withdrawal patient than he was at any other point in the season – it doesn't feel like a coincidence that this was after he'd learned he'd missed the signs she'd observed in her patient in Langdon. After that, during the MCI, he repeatedly turned to Mohan over Langdon during the MCI. I think the effect is that Langdon is really the heir presumptive to Mohan's heir apparent – he's a great doctor, he's confident, he's gregarious, he's even a good teacher most of the time – he was encouraging of Mel, Whitaker, and Javadi. He talked through the procedure he'd learned from a podcast to Mohan when they were in the middle of treating a gunshot victim. But his reaction to Santos – and Terrance! – demonstrates how ill equipped he is to deal with real conflict or push back. He sometimes has a point – Santos should not have been administering medications without running it by anyone, the second year resident that has never done a crike should do it before the intern, etc. But he does not know how to handle stressful leadership situations. Mohan, a year junior, does. She was firm in her criticism of the way Whitaker and Santos spoke to patients, while also complimenting them when it was warranted. She didn't react negatively to Mel repeatedly breaking ranks to ask Mehta and Robby both about the course of treatment she wanted over the one Mohan did for their seizure patient.

It's also...I've seen a lot of posts about Whitaker, right, and how he's poised to grow into becoming Robby. And I get where people are coming from! It's a very traditional storytelling arc. Here's the hapless newbie that'll grow to become an extremely competent and compassionate doctor. He's what one would expect to see from a show that's the spiritual successor to ER – the med student that meets a mentor, learns emergency medicine is where he'll belong, and grows to surpass that mentor. Mohan, though, is a third year resident, in some ways already established as what she will be. She's also a woman of colour, which is frankly not the typical character image for "narrative heir to the white male lead". And yet, she and Robby are such foils for each other in a way I don't think any other character can claim. Whitaker does not share the approach to medicine and emotions that Mohan and Robby do.

She's the one actively doing the work to build Whitaker's confidence back up – Langdon gets to do the "you may not be where we are yet, but you'll get there!" pep talk, and Robby gets to say his version of the classic "your patient, Doctor" line from the Scrubs first episode, but it's Mohan that helps him through the case that scares him most on the board, and talks him through a suture, and makes sure to credit him to Robby and the patient for something he didn't even realize was important. She offers specific and actionable feedback to Santos in comparison to Langdon completely flipping out.

There is something so endlessly compelling about how the characters that demonstrate support for Samira's style of medicine are...Collins and Abbot. Two characters who also demonstrably really love Robby. Samira and Robby being narrative mirrors lead to them clashing, and Robby so clearly is not at peace with himself and is taking that out on the person he unconsciously sees as much like himself, but other characters that know him and care deeply about him are the ones that see the best in the person just like him.

[thebirdandhersong]

I think in between having medium level body dysmorphic background noise since elementary school and the annoying mouse critic voice in my head doing comparison studies 80% of the time, it's really a step forward that I'm now able to look myself in the mirror and say: okay. Let's start with this: I'm glad I have this body. I'm going to treat it well. I may not like the way it looks at times, but it's mine.

[moonlitministry]

AH I JUST HAVE TO EXPRESS MY ADMIRATION AND RESPECT FOR YOU BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER SEEN THE FANS OF THE FIRST GHOST ERAS 😭😭🙏🏻

i mean.. i can write an essay on how much o love these eras YAAAAA ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

THEIR THE BEST ERA'S FR THEIR SO UNDERRATED i wish there was more content of them and am glad to see there are some other people actually liking them out there haha, thank you!

[loo-nuh-tik]

So fucking beautiful your selfies always make me gasp 🙊

[unproduciblesmackdown]

also more odds & ends orville info & more not Not orville/phil info as well:

"In Steinkellner’s version of Summer Stock, Jane Falbury (Danielle Wade) and “Pop,” her father (Stephen Lee Anderson), are struggling to hang on to the family farm. Their farm is one of the few in the Connecticut River Valley that hasn’t been absorbed by the Wingates, whose holdings completely surround theirs.

The widow Margaret Wingate (Veanne Cox), whom son Orville (Will Roland) aptly describes as having eyes “as cold as death itself,” plans to absorb the Falbury farm by the simple expedient of having Orville marry Jane. After all the two kids had decided they were engaged in first grade!

Enter the prodigal younger sister Gloria (Arianna Rosario) who has been seduced by the lure of the Great White Way. She returns to the farm bringing along Joe Ross (Corbin Bleu in the Gene Kelly role), the director of the show that will make her a star, its composer Phil Filmore (Gilbert L. Bailey II), and the entire company. She has generously offered the company, which can’t afford rehearsal space in New York, the use of the family farm’s barn. Sister Jane reluctantly agrees to the intrusion with the proviso that the thespians will double as farm hands.

As rehearsals progress, Phil discovers that Orville, a bit of a doormat who has been raised with the understanding that he will never have to work, is a musical wunderkind. He is enlisted to work his magic on the show’s score and begins to blossom.

Widow Wingate takes umbrage with all this and vows to shut the enterprise down. Fortunately, the cold embers in her soul are stirred to renewed life by her encounter with Montgomery Leach (J. Anthony Crane), the has-been ham enlisted to give Ross’s show some cachet, so all might not be lost.

[...]

They make this Summer Stock a veritable feast of nostalgia. I was especially taken by the amusing way Steinkellner used Jackie Gleason’s theme song “Always” to further widow Wingate’s plot to get Jane and Orville hitched.

[...]

Orville, who has found personal liberation in show biz, is accorded a moment that reminded me of a similar scene in the musical version of The Producers. In a triumphant declaration of his emergence from under his mother’s thumb he exults, “I’m in the theatre! And I love it!” The audience loved it, too.

[...]

As director, Feore has elicited some wonderful performances, especially from subsidiary characters. Veanne Cox is splendid as Margaret Wingate as is J. Anthony Crane as Montgomery Leach, the faded matinee idol. Will Roland (Orville) and Gilbert L. Bailey II (Phil) both have wonderful moments and their intense professional friendship is one of the show’s highlights."

INTENSE PROFESSIONAL FRIENDSHIP you say....and also ofc everything about orville and wanting to be a musician and being in the theatre and he loves it sounds so good. i love it

[haarute]

reading posts about people noticing things that you do being its own form of love, and then thinking that the thought of being perceived at all is actually terrifying to me because i cannot imagine a situation where that wouldn't be a criticism of my person. and the realization that this is not supposed to be the case is wild to me lmao.

[ratspider]

there's so many things i'm gonna do When I Get The Money but one of them is to get weirder. i need to indulge my 12-year-old self and wear the fuckin mlp shirt. wear plastic jewellery and dye my hair rainbow and buy myself dog collars and cosplay in public and most importantly diy that shit, but if i can't/don't want to i'm going to raid hot topic and claire's. i need to i need to i need to

[strawbuddy-luv]

Trans Tim off handedly mentioning random things that just confuse people more and more because he never told them he was trans (only Bruce and Alfred know)

Tim: "For the mission I'm thinking I'll go undercover, but it'll take some work to hide the bruises I got earlier. They're everywhere"

Dick: "Oh I think Steph is free right now!"

Tim: "...Ok?"

Dick: "Don't worry I'm sure she'll help you out with this! "

Tim: "That's awesome but I don't think I'll need help. I know how to use makeup."

Dick: "Really-? Ohhh, yeah your public image is like, way more public than ours. That must be tiring, having to hide the bruises all the time."

Tim: "Well yeah but I knew how to use makeup before that. For like, galas as a kid and stuff"

Dick: "...yeah..."

-----

Steph: -Complaining about a man- "And then he said "Oh you should smile more" like "you look like you don't want to be here" like what- what the fuck-??? Maybe I fucking don't dude."

Tim: "Oh yeah I hate when they do that. Like you've spent the entire time bitching about the consistency of snails, I can close my mouth for a few seconds."

Steph: "..."

Tim: "...What-?"

Steph: "Well- I mean yeah but- you know I have to deal with it like...way more, and it's just a bit weird that like, you as a guy are, I dunno, trying to relate? I mean you don't have to deal with it litreally everyday"

Tim: "Well yeah not anymore, but, you know...I still did."

Steph: :...What-"

-----

Tim: -Resting against one of the rooftop ledges-

Jason: "Woah, I can't believe it, Red Robin, slacking. What would Bruce do if he saw this!"

Tim: "Fuck off, it's just period cramps." -Jumps off the edge of the building-

Jason: "Yeah whatever Timblina...

Your fucking what-"

-----

Bruce: "And for this mission, we'll be needing someone for the Caroline disguise, but we already know who that is so-"

Dick: "Wait does Steph actually know how to fight in heels-??"

Bruce: "...N-"

Steph: "Yeah Bruce, I mean, you could at least actually ask me before volunteering me to go fight crime in that dress."

Bruce: "You-"

Jason: "I mean no offense, but literally who else would do it? Cass isn't here right now and I don't think any of us are willing to get a boob job for the mission"

Bruce: "No one's getting a boob job-"

Steph: "Yeah! This is bat tech, Bruce probably has ultra realistic titties in everyone's color and size! Jason you wouldn't even need an attachment."

Jason: "I don't think Caroline Hills has fifty gun shot wounds and muscles the size of most those guys heads."

Steph: "Yeah bu-"

Bruce: "None of that will be necessary because none of you" -Pointing at the right side of the table- "Will be going. No one at this table will be needing any prosthetics...Or boob jobs."

Steph: "...Ok but who the fuck is going then-"

Bruce: "Tim."

The entire table: "..."

Steph: "Tim are you really willing to put on boobs for this-"

Dick: "I don't think that's the best idea-"

Jason: "You just said no prosthetics- Oh this'll be fucking rich"

Tim: "...

I...wouldn't need a boob job?? Or prosthetics?"

Jason: "Timbo, that dress is a pretty low cut, and, no offense, your training hasn't given you that many enhancements."

Tim: "...Thank you for the binding compliment?"

Dick: "The what-"

Tim: "Guys I- I already have boobs-"

The Table: "..."

Steph: "WHAT-"

Dick: "You do-?!"

Jason: "Bruce if you made Tim get boobs for some weird mission-"

Tim: "What- No! No one made me get boobs??? Besides, I don't know, biology I guess??? Genetics maybe???"

Dick: "...I'm extremely confused"

Steph: "WHO GAVE YOU BOOBS-???"

Tim: "I'm not really sure seeing as I was born with them"

Dick: "...

OHHHHHH-"

Steph: "What- is this like a birth defect or something???"

Dick: "Tim- Tim I think you're just gonna have to-"

Tim: "I'm trans."

Jason: "...That's-

Yeah

Ok yeah no that- that explains...a lot."

Steph: "..." -Head in hands- "I am such a fucking idiot"

[retiredteabag]

jjk guys & their love languages

Including: Gojo, Nanami, Choso, Sukuna, Toji, and Suguru

*the five love languages are pseudoscience, but I think there is something to say about preferences*

Gojo

His love language: words of affirmation

You would think that he would have been praised all his life, being the strongest and all. But there is nothing that flusters him more than a kind word or two. He'll act unaffected or brush it off, maybe even pretend to be cocky, but the prominent blush that appeared when you compliment him is telling.

"You're really generous, you know?"

He would have done something simple, paid for lunch, bought the students a new TV, filled the lounge with snacks, who knows. He's always doing things for others.

"Pshh, it's nothing!"

He would wave off your praise, feeling giddy nonetheless.

"No, seriously, you're really thoughtful and giving, Satoru, it's sweet."

Oh, he's just delighted! With the expectation he's held to being so high, it isn't often that people feel the need to validate him. Verbal recognition was never something he could get over easily.

Even so, while he is constantly in need of attention, feeding off of the love someone may give to him, he never seems to be able to just say, 'thank you'.

Sweet.

You had called him sweet.

He now has daydream material for months.

The way he shows love: quality time

One would think that he would prioritize gift-giving when it came to showing love, but I don't necessarily think that's the case. He doesn't see gifts as a big deal; having grown up living lavishly, he would much rather show you with his actions.

I don't imagine you would ever have to plan a date with Satoru. That man is on it. If you ever mention wanting to do something, he will remember it and make it happen.

It's not that he isn't interested in your planning; it's just that at the end of every hangout (pre-relationship and during), he's already scheduling your next get-together.

He gets withdrawals if you're not around enough, of course, he can't let that happen.

Nanami

His love language: physical touch

Here's the thing: it's very typical for a man's "love language" to be physical touch in a slimy, objectifying way. Where he doesn't express his "love" to any degree other than sexual acts and lacks proaction in any other mode of expressing intimacy.

This is not the case with Nanami Kento.

He is the most attentive man you will ever meet, patient to a t, and loving in the gentlest of ways. He adores quality time with you, is endlessly appreciative of any gift, it warms his heart to hear you say kind things, and thoughtful acts of service never go unnoticed.

After years together, though, it is still the case that nothing causes his heart to race quite like when you reach over and grab his hand.

After a long day of work, having you come to the foyer and wrap your arms around him lifts any stress right off his shoulders.

A kiss on the cheek will have him distracted for hours.

Cuddling with you is a divine experience for him.

Even just a casual touch during conversation causes him to stutter.

And as much as he tries to hide how affected he is by you, he just can't deny himself for very long.

The way he shows love: acts of service

It's not intentional for him, he just never wants to ask anything of you. He is happy to fix anything, complete any chore, do any task, so long as it keeps you from having to work.

If you are ever stressed, he will do everything in his power to cause it to cease. You never have to ask him to take out the trash or clean up after himself, he respects your shared space and likes nothing more than doing these little things for you.

It's almost as if he is able to anticipate your needs, he is always there in your corner, supporting you however he can.

And every time he hears an "Oh, Ken, you didn't have to do that!" He is determined to show you just how high your standards ought to be.

Choso

His love language: words of affirmation

It truly does not matter how many times you tell this man that you love him, that he's so good to you, that he's your cute baby, that he did a good job, that he's a strong and brave hero, that he makes you happy, that you cherish his company... it always feels like the first time to him.

His stomach does these little summersaults whenever you verbalize your recognition of him, causing him to squirm in his seat.

If he's ever having a hard time, maybe the day seems to be dragging on, he just recalls when you kissed his cheek, murmuring into his chest, "Have a good day, Cho, I love you."

And he's rubbing his ears in embarrassment, attempting to hide his grin.

The way he shows love: physical touch

He didn't have much practice expressing love for a few hundred years before meeting you, the love he has for his brothers is real, but it's different than what he feels for you.

Anytime he gets that tingly feeling in his chest and his cheeks start to heat up, he just wants to bury you in his arms. When he sees you laying on the couch, bundled up in a blanket, he has to hold himself back from smothering you in a bear hug.

It's fair to say he has a bit of cuteness aggression; sometimes he just gets stuck in the act of kissing you, not wanting to let go of your hand. Trying his best to transport the love he has for you into your body, straight from his.

It's actually quite difficult for him to control himself; you ought to be proud of him.

If you tell him you're proud of him though, he might just implode.

Sukuna

His love language: quality time

Oh boy, this man does not need anything from you but your presence; you don't need to be going anywhere, doing anything, speaking at all, just being together is enough for him.

He was alone for so long that being with you, no matter the circumstance, is special.

He'll let you sleep on his lap, listen to whatever you say without interruption, and regularly dedicate time to your company.

He would never say it, but if he goes too long without being around you, he becomes a little crazy.

(a oneshot I wrote about something similar)

The way he shows love: gift giving

This was a toss-up, like his love language, he also expresses his love with quality time, but since he thinks of it as his own special enjoyment, he also showers you with anything you like.

They often come as a surprise, the gestures he makes for you. Randomly finding flowers around your room, the thoughtful presents that arrive anytime he goes out, and the symbolic tokens he adorns you in for every festivity.

The main gift you will never stop receiving, though, are all the letters he sends you. Perfectly artistic is his calligraphy, the handmade pages can be found slipped under your chamber door, resting on your workbench in the greenhouse, or hand delivered by a servant.

When he discovers you have kept every last note he has written, he feels his pulse stammer for the first time.

Toji

His love language: acts of service

He lives to serve, always has, always will. More than anyone else you've met, this man is a giver; perhaps that is why it kind of holds him up short the first time you offer to shave him.

He had never had someone offer, and it didn't take him long to realize that your constant willingness to do little things for him ruffles his ability to remain nonchalant.

Why is he feeling so flustered?

One day over dinner you heard him complain about needing to fill up his tank before going out on a job. You spun around in your apron, shaking your head,

"Oh, did I not say? I got gas for your car this morning."

He had never kissed you so desperately as he had in that moment.

When he sees that you've gone grocery shopping, made him coffee, or offered to scratch his back, he's just at a loss for words.

The way he shows love: acts of service

Hey, he's an easy guy, like I said, he's super giving, especially with you. He knows that he loves all the little supportive behaviors you do for him, so he makes an effort to sacrifice for you in the same ways.

He especially loves to warm up towels for you when you get out of the shower, or toss a blanket in the dryer to cover you while he folds the laundry. When you let him, he’ll kneel down to tie your shoes or zip up your coats.

He's a real problem-solver too, in whatever situation, he will never hesitate to take the lead whenever he can lighten your load.

Suguru

His love language: quality time

It does not elude him how appreciative he feels every time you choose to be around him. There is only one priority in his life, second to his cult, and that is you.

Uninterrupted conversations with you are a must for his sanity. All the little shared activities you take part in, watching a show, reading a book, enjoying your lunches, stargazing etc. keep him together.

When he's away from you, his focus lies ahead, to a time when he can hold your gaze once more.

Got forbid you ever end up sleeping apart, he needs you next to him to be able to rest peacefully.

His desperation to be around you only grows by the day, whether it's preparing breakfast, going for a walk, or completing projects, there is nobody he would rather be with than you.

The way he shows love: words of affirmation

If this man is anything, it is free with his praise.

He just can't hold himself back from cooing out his admiration for every little thing about you. It was so embarrassing at first, all the compliments, the recognition, the force that was his attention.

You couldn't do anything without him making a comment:

"Well, aren't you sweet."

"My, you're a hard worker."

"Well done! I'm proud of you."

Whether it's completing a strenuous task or something as simple as preparing tea, he is loose with his appreciation.

And don't even get me started on his flattery, not a day passes where he was not taken by your beauty, of course, he needs to tell you.

Your sheepish thanks and endless blushing did nothing to hinder him in this regard; in fact, it only made him want to tell you more.

He is particularly fond of whispering in your ear sweet little words that cause you to teeter between smacking him and pulling him down for a kiss.

my masterlist

artists: Gojo - @deka_sad. Nanami - @neconi_o0 + unknown. Choso - from the manga + unknown. Sukuna - @Su2kuna. Toji - @Hunnismoker. Suguru - @Zijingpap.