#i don't know how to deal with compliments

[callmemonster68]

HEESEUNG - Human Blood Bag ( smut )

Y/N makes a deal with the vampire Heeseung to save their family from poverty, becoming his blood source in exchange for wealth. But what begins as a cold pact transforms into an intense and dangerous connection, where desire and vulnerability break the barriers between the human and the immortal.

Pairing: Heeseung X FemReader

Genre: Obscenity / Dark Fantasy

Warning: graphic description of gore ( bloond/injuries ) explicit content, unprotected sex, suggestive, penetration, explicit language, climax, sex, swearing, loss of virginity, hickeys, messy make-out sessions, dirty talk, compliments, rough sex, touching bruises, handcuffs, chains, sadomasochism , masochism, brands, group sex,double penetration, oral sex, anal sex, masturbation

In an isolated village, where poverty was the only constant and the night winds carried whispers of something beyond death, a young woman named Y/N accepted a proposal that would change her life forever. The offer came from an ancient vampire, known as Heeseung, whose eyes shone with the accumulated knowledge of millennia and whose needs were as deep as his eternal void.

Heeseung had made similar deals before, but something in Y/N's blood was different. He could feel the difference from the first sip, an energy that seemed to invigorate his strength and restore his energy in a way he had never experienced before. She was not just a source of blood, but something more, something he could not immediately name.

She, on the other hand, accepted the offer not out of a desire for power or luxury, but for her family. The agreement was simple: she would be his source of blood, going wherever he went, doing whatever was necessary for him to live. And, in return, he would ensure that her family lived a life free from the shackles of poverty, taking care of her parents and siblings with wealth and comfort. But this exchange required her to live far from them, with no contact whatsoever. Her life was now dedicated to Heeseung, no longer to her own desires or feelings.

Heeseung treated her coldly, like the tool she was to him. And she, although overwhelmed by loneliness and the pain of not being able to see her own, felt a strange attraction to the vampire, a connection she couldn't fully understand. He, in turn, seemed only to care about the blood issue and nothing else, until something began to change.

Every night, he fed on Y/N, and over time, he began to feel a strange and intense desire for her. Her blood not only nourished him but also awakened him in ways he had never imagined. It was more than just a physical need. He found himself wanting more from her, something that went beyond the desire for blood and touched on something more primal, deep, and sexual. This was new to him, and he didn't know how to deal with it.

For millennia, he had avoided getting emotionally involved with humans. He used and discarded them, without any attachment. But Y/N was different, and he felt a growing fire inside him whenever he was near her. She was not just his walking blood bag. She was... something more. What was that? He didn't know. Until, in a moment of vulnerability, he confessed to her, without his usual coldness.

Heeseung: I... feel something for you, (the voice softer than she has ever heard) Something I have never experienced before. I... don't know how to deal with this.

Y/N looked at him, surprised, but without fear. She felt the same way, but in a way she couldn't articulate. And, without thinking much, without hesitating, she offered herself to him in a way he didn't expect.

Y/N: I can be more for you, (with a shy but sincere smile) If you wish... I can be everything, I can give you everything.

He watched her with wide eyes, surprise mixed with desire. She was offering herself in a way he had never imagined, no longer just her blood but now also her body. And, with a gentle gesture, he approached, touching her face with a delicacy he never knew he possessed.

The desire between them ignited, transforming into something that surpasses the thirst for blood. Something carnal, primal, and at the same time, inexplicable. He surrendered to her like he had never done with anyone before, and somehow, the barriers between vampire and human, between predator and prey, began to fade away.

Heeseung has always been authoritative and controlling, but with his sexual inexperience, the confusion of feelings and desires he had never felt before driving him crazy and even scaring him, he trusted her and let her guide him.

The room was enveloped in a heavy silence, broken only by the sound of Y/N's slow and hesitant breathing, while Heeseung watched her from a distance that felt both too close and absurdly far away. The dim light of the candles flickered, casting dancing shadows on the cold stone walls, but the heat emanating from them was enough to ignite the atmosphere.

He was not used to feeling something so chaotic within himself. Immortality had always protected him from these human weaknesses – desire, uncertainty, vulnerability. But now, there, in front of her, he felt like a man, not a monster.

Heeseung took a step forward, hesitant, as if a single movement could undo all the tension that kept them connected. He extended his hand, his cold fingers brushing against Y/N's arm. The touch was subtle, but it carried a promise.

Heeseung: Y/N (whispered, almost inaudible) I can't pretend anymore. You are... much more than I deserve, much more than I should desire.

She raised her eyes to him, feeling the weight of the moment and the confusion behind his words. But there was something in his expression, something that said that, this time, he was surrendering, not to her, but to himself.

Y/N: I don't want you to hold back (your voice firm, but full of sweetness) Not now.

The air seemed to vanish from the environment when she took a step towards him, closing the distance between them. Her hand rose, touching his face, exploring the sharp and perfect lines of his jaw. He was a predator, a being forged by darkness, but in that moment, he seemed broken and human, surrendered.

Heeseung: Show me who you really are (he whispered, his lips dangerously close to his)

And then, it was as if something broke.

Heeseung pulled her to him with a fervor that took her by surprise, his lips meeting hers in a kiss that was both desperate and reverent. His arms enveloped her, as if he were afraid she might disappear. The taste of Y/N was an intoxicating mix of sweetness and warmth, something he could never fully satisfy.

He pressed her against the four-poster bed in the center of the room, his movements almost reverent as his lips traveled down her neck, where he had quenched his thirst so many times. But this time, it was different. He didn't just want her blood. He wanted everything.

Y/N guided him with a patience and courage he didn't expect. Her delicate fingers slid over his shirt, slowly undoing the buttons, exposing the pale and cold skin beneath. He watched her, the tension in his muscles was evident, but he didn't stop her. For the first time, he allowed someone to lead him.

The night promised to be long, full of discoveries and deliveries. Both knew that moment would change everything. It was not just a night of passion; it was the beginning of something that neither of them could fully comprehend.

While Y/N slid her hands over Heeseung's shoulders, slowly pushing the thin fabric shirt away from his body, he couldn't take his eyes off her. His eyes were fixed on hers, capturing every nuance of emotion that passed across her face. There was desire, yes, but there was also something deeper – something he had never seen before, not in his countless years.

He felt her fingertips against his cold skin, sending a shock that reverberated to his bones. It was an overwhelming and strangely comforting sensation, as if she were igniting a part of him that he had forgotten existed.

Y/N: It's all right (murmured, almost as if reading your thoughts)

Her touch was gentle but firm, a promise that she was in no hurry. Heeseung took a deep breath, or at least tried to. He didn't need air to survive, but now it seemed like each breath was vital, as if he were trying to absorb something only she could offer.

Heeseung: I don't know what I'm doing (he admitted, his voice low and full of hesitation)

He hated how weak and vulnerable he sounded, but at the same time, he couldn't lie to her.

Heeseung: I... have never done this before.

Y/N stopped for a moment, surprised, but her eyes shone with understanding. She raised her hand, touching his face tenderly.

Y/N: It's okay, Heeseung (your voice full of patience) We don't need to rush anything. I'm here with you.

The simplicity of her words disarmed him. He, who had always clung to the facade of strength and control, felt the barriers he had erected over the centuries beginning to crumble. With her, he didn't need to be the powerful and impenetrable vampire. He could just be... him.

She leaned towards him again, her lips touching his in a slow and exploratory kiss. There was no hurry, just the silent exchange of emotions that words could never capture. With each touch, with each gesture, Heeseung felt as if he were being redrawn, as if she were tracing new contours in his immortal existence.

As she guided him, he began to relax, allowing his own instincts to emerge. He let his hands glide over her waist, feeling the softness of her skin under his fingers. It was such a stark contrast to his own coldness that he got lost in the moment, marveling at the life she radiated.

The tension in the room changed, transforming into something more intense, more profound. He could hear Y/N's heart beating fast, and for the first time, it didn't make him think of hunger, but of fascination. Each beat seemed to synchronize with something inside him, a rhythm he had never felt before.

While she pulled him even closer, Heeseung hesitated. It wasn't fear of her, but fear of himself.

Heeseung: I don't want to hurt you. (the voice almost trembling)

Y/N smiled at him, a gentle smile that carried more courage than he had ever seen.

Y/N: You're not going. I trust you.

With those words, something changed inside him. He knew he couldn't go back, that this connection with her was as inevitable as night after day. And then, he surrendered completely, allowing her to guide him, allowing her to show him what it meant to feel, live, and love.

When Y/N's hands traced Heeseung's pale skin, he felt disconnected from everything he knew. There was no hunger, there was no immortality, there was no darkness that always enveloped him. Just her touch, the warmth that seemed to radiate through every inch of her skin and warm parts of him that he thought were doomed to eternal cold.

She approached slowly, her lips brushing against the curve of his neck.

Y/N: You are so beautiful (whispered against your skin)

He shuddered. No one had ever said that to him. Not like this, with so much sincerity and tenderness.

He pulled her closer, his hesitant fingers sliding into her hair, intertwining with the soft strands. He was still struggling against the insecurities that vulnerability imposed on him.

Heeseung: I... don't know how to repay what you're giving me. (murmured, his voice full of confession and surrender)

She turned her face just enough to look into his eyes, her smile full of patience and understanding.

Y/N: You are already giving back – she said, her fingers tracing the sharp contours of his face, each line marked by eternity.

And then, in an unexpected move, she gently pushed him to lie down on the bed. The force was minimal, but he yielded, allowing her to lead him. He fell against the sheets, his gaze fixed on her every movement as she approached.

Y/N delicately mounted him, her legs wrapping around him with a confidence that seemed to disarm the vampire. Her fingers slid over his skin, feeling the tense muscles. Heeseung felt as if he were at her mercy, but at the same time, it was a welcome surrender, something he didn't know he needed until that moment.

Y/N: Let me guide you, Heeseung (the voice low, but laden with a firmness he couldn't ignore)

He nodded slowly, his eyes fixed on her, and it was at that moment that he realized he had never trusted anyone as much as he trusted her. She undressed, still on top of him. His hesitant fingers began to explore her body, tracing each curve as if memorizing every detail.

When Y/N's lips met his again, it was different. It was not just passion or desire. It was something deeper, something that connected their souls in a way that transcended the barriers of their opposite natures. She knelt to remove the remaining clothes from him, while they maintained eye contact.

She touched his cock, he shuddered, his chest heaving in anticipation. She pumped a few times, spreading the pre-cum along the shaft, before slowly sitting on him, feeling every inch of him filling her. The movements were slow, almost like a dance, a rhythm they discovered together. With each touch, with each kiss, Heeseung felt something inside him changing, breaking, but not painfully. It was as if she were rebuilding the parts of him that had been destroyed by time and loneliness.

Y/N continued to guide him, her hands tracing paths across his body while her lips explored every piece of skin they found. Heeseung watched her, fascinated by the intensity of her eyes, by the way she seemed to put her whole soul into each touch, into each movement.

It was more than physical pleasure. It was something that touched the depths of her soul, something that made her dead heart seem to beat again, even if just for a moment.

Heeseung held her firmly, but without brutality, as if she were the most precious and delicate thing he had ever touched. He pulled her closer, their bodies moving in perfect sync.

The night seemed infinite, each second filled with emotion and surrender. When they finally reached the climax, it was like an explosion of light in the darkness, a connection so deep that it left them both breathless.

Y/N collapsed onto him, her heavy breathing as Heeseung wrapped her in his arms. He closed his eyes, feeling her weight against him, the warmth of her skin contrasting with the coldness of his.

Heeseung: I never thought I could feel something like this (his voice almost inaudible)

Y/N lifted her head, her eyes meeting his. She smiled, and in that smile, there was the promise of something more, something he never thought he could have.

Y/N: You can, Heeseung (touching his face) Because you're not just a monster.

And, at that moment, he believed her.

The life that Y/N knew would never be the same again. She was no longer just Heeseung's source of blood, but something much more intimate. And yet, the price for this new bond was high, for as she surrendered to the vampire, with each night spent away from her family, she began to question whether the true cost of this agreement was the loss of her own identity.

✿ If you don't reblog and comment, you can be sure I'll be showing up in your dreams tonight... and I won’t be as sweet as in the story ✿

[alexhasalotofthoughts]

Okay it's been long enough since TIT that I can share my thoughts with a clear head. I literally slept the whole of yesterday because I was so tired (thank you, London).

Seeing Dan and Phil was a really big deal for me—as I'm sure it is for most fans. I've been a fan of DnP since primary school and now I'm nearing the end of secondary school and the start of uni so this feels like a very big full circle moment.

As cringe and stereotypical as it is, DnP videos have always been there when I needed them. When I was having a bad day at school, or struggling to come to terms with my sexuality/gender, there were Dan and Phil, ready to put a smile on my face. Dan's coming out video was released the same year I started being bullied for my sexuality and seeing someone I looked up to as much as him be so honest and open really helped me to feel less alone. I rewatch that video a lot. I will always be grateful for that.

I've worn my Interactive Introverts bracelet everyday since I brought it with the DVD (my mum would not let me see them live at the time as I was "too young" lol) so Dan and Phil, in some way, have been there for every big and small moment in my life. They were technically there when I got an offer from the uni I want to go to. I literally wore a Dan and Phil shirt to my autism assessment. They were mentioned in my autism assessment report (though I am not the person who said that for the confessions part of the show, that was someone else. I am not trying to steal their thunder lol). I can't even begin to express what a big part of my life their videos have been.

As I'm sure has been mentioned many times by now, my show was filmed so I might even end up on YouTube or a DVD (PLEASE DAN AND PHIL, KEEP PHYSICAL MEDIA ALIVE) or something, though I doubt that because I was in the royal circle. Also a drunk girl hung if the balcony and heckled for most of the show. I think even ended up getting kicked out. I saw somewhere on twitter that Phil asked for her to be kicked or mentioned to staff that she was too loud but I have no idea how true that is as I was on the opposite side of the circle to her and I have never and probably will never speak to Phil to confirm this.

Other than that, though, the show was absolutely brilliant!

Genuinely! It was so funny and it was absolutely lovely being in a room of people who have the same interests as me; I literally saw a "Be More Chill" "Boyf" bag, "Heathers" tracksuit bottoms, a FNAF Bonnie keychain and a Doctor Who badge all in the space of 5 minutes of one another. My people. Someone even complimented my hat, though I find London so overwhelming that I forgot to respond properly lol (sorry hat person, you were very nice! I liked your whiskers!).

Before the show, they played "Hot To Go" by Chappell Roan, and the whole theatre sang and danced along, which was absolutely lovely!

I was laughing and cheering for about 2 hours straight, so I'd say it was money well spent, though my mum literally fell asleep during the first act so I don't know if she'd agree.

One thing I will say: seeing sister Daniel in the flesh is literally a HOLY experience—I am so... Gay? Straight? Bisexual?? I'm not sure which word go use in this situation but Daniel was hot, so who cares?

To conclude this overly long blog post no-one will read, it was fun and I feel like 12 year old me would look at me now and smile. I saw Dan and Phil live. I got an offer from the uni I wanted to study film! I write!! I have friends who care about me!! I'm not ashamed to like the things I like!! God, they would be so proud of me. And I am proud of them.

TIT pics below ;)

(That last pic was taken by my mum, hence why I look so awkward. I was happy, I swear.)

Thank you very much if you read this! I really do go on a lot but also this is my blog and I suppose that means I can go on as much as I want.

[isa-ghost]

Happy 1 year of existing, AMFMN. Wow.

To think a rant about the lack of truly Phil-centric fics spiraled into something that, a year later, has left me more creatively fulfilled than I have been in a long time... It's still crazy to think about.

To think that in just a year, saying fuck it we ball and writing my first proper fanfic has made me so many new friends, lead to me meeting so many new cool people, that has inspired so many others, that has won silly fandom awards, that has gotten amounts of fanart I never expected.

To think that just writing this fic has genuinely boosted my general self-confidence and improved my ability to take compliments beyond anything I could've imagined.

And it all started because I got a HINT of a canon possession arc that didn't actually happen until nearly 2 months later, and got insanely excited about it.

👆🏻 She had no idea this would be a 20 chapter 17,000+ hits fic with too many amazingly vivid and gut-wrenching scenes to count. She thought this was 5-6 chapters max.

👆🏻 She didn't know in roughly 2 months she would watch this chapter play out almost point for point, but in the new Reset part of the island.

She had no idea she'd get hit with Apollo's dodgeball like 20 times throughout the canon possession arc.

The fact that it only took 3 days for the fic to double in its expected length. And then it turned into 20 and an alternate crack ending.

👆🏻 She didn't know she'd be assigned famous author by dozens of other Crows she'd never met before. She doesn't know Ama herself will read the fic. She doesn't know MaepleTea will read the fic.

👆🏻 Thank every single one of you for making it worth committing a year+ of blood sweat and tears into this fic. For engaging so much both on ao3 and Tumblr, for sending asks, for tuning into streams where I just gush about the fic for the same length as a Phil stream, for excitedly asking about updates and basically never demanding me to update on your terms. Thank you for showing AMFMN so much love, and for being so invested in it that you've given my other smaller works and wips a chance too.

I will never not be grateful for the astronomical amounts of luck I've had with how much reception the fic has gotten. I had no concept of average fic stats at the start, so to have it explained to me what a big deal it is to reach these numbers... I genuinely can't comprehend it. I wish everyone had this kind of luck.

I don't have the time for a celebratory stream today, but maybe this weekend, if Offscot and my beta readers are available to host and be there <3

[whiplaesh]

- 0:00 | how considerate

[ sakura x reader x sana ]

entwine masterlist > next

warnings - mentions of infidelity & sex

being faced with the sana miyawaki wasn't anything of what you had expected of the transaction.

"you're perfect." is the first thing she had said at the sight of you, her designer shades resting just above her hairline, neatly holding her hair out of her face.

a string of compliments spilled out of her mouth, you hadn't yet known of her intentions until she asked you to sit down across from her.

her happy and giddy expression stayed plastered on her face even when speaking of her reasoning for hiring you.

her bluntness nearly made you uneasy.

"as any rational person in a marriage with someone as...powerful as sakura," she begins, "i have a fear that she's cheating on me."

you don't react to the statement, she wouldn’t be the first one hiring you out of need of companionship.

instead you continue looking at her awaiting the next words to spill out of her red stained lips.

"so how do i fix it? it's simple: i can't." a bitter chuckle escapes but the woman catches herself. "but if she is cheating; i obviously and unsurprisingly want to know about it."

not quite understanding what she's saying you question her, "pardon me but i'm failing to grasp the proposal?"

sana laughs as if your sentence was genuinely amusing.

"of course, you aren't a p.i or anything, god knows i've hired oh so many," she stands up, walking towards a mantle near her office desk to pour herself liquid courage. "she's a sneaky one...that miyawaki."

without asking she pours you a glass of whatever she's drinking, handing it to you as she sits back in her seat. "i want you to seduce her."

not knowing quite what it was, you don't take a sip of your drink. "so you want me to be leverage on how you find out she’s cheating?"

for a less than messy divorce? you wondered.

it was almost laughable, the idea of sana introducing you to sakura as someone else while having the lingering knowledge of how you’re supposed to attempt to bed her woman.

this wasn’t usually what you did, it was clear.

you've been in the business for a while, yet this situation was definitely one for the books.

"i know this is immature of me, but i do know the woman i married." the elder speaks with sincerity, "call it a gut feeling."

with no response sana takes it as a sign to continue her job offer. “im not expecting you to sleep with her, i have a pretty bad jealousy streak..”

“i also know that sex isn’t in your particular job description of course.” she swiftly adds with a knowing glance in your direction.

getting into this business wasn’t an easy task for you, of course you’ve had sex with clients before. it was the top purpose of your job even being a consideration for customers.

hell if toronto hadn’t happened you wouldn’t have ever stopped accepting those specific jobs.

it sure did slow down your clientele, even if you had loyal customers that liked you enough personality wise.

that in itself was a strange thing. sure you were good at your job sexually but you’ve been told more than once on different occasions that you quote on quote ‘lacked emotional awareness.’

you still have yet to know whatever that meant.

after finishing her full glass, sana sits it down on the center table before reaching for her purse to pull out a checkbook.

"for your consideration..." she says with a slide of the slip of paper against the surface.

with one look at the number you almost let a curse slip. not believing how much money people took for granted over trivial things such as this.

but who were you to deny easy money.

and this would do more than make up the slack for what you’ve haven’t been making for the past two years.

“you have yourself a deal mrs. miyawaki.”

[fjdkdhdben]

RANT - why am i so lonely? #2

Here I am again, rambling online for random strangers. But then again, who else can I talk to on a Saturday? I feel loneliness creep up on me every so weekend when I see my peers hanging out with each other, it makes me remember that I have no best friends. No one is asking to come over to my house, no one is calling me for hours, and no one is so close to me that they can easily roam into my home. No one is giggling and reminding me of funny memories or asking to hang out. No one even bothers me for a chat.

Every time I notice how alone I am I get this weird feeling in my chest, anguish? Or maybe it's something else like despair or fear. I really want to have a best friend. A girl just like me, who understands me, who likes me, who deals with me even when I get upset, who loves me unconditionally, who advises me, who encourages me, who wants to be with me. I can't blame everyone else for my own actions, I just can't find that person.

You know when you "join" a friend group? everyone likes you and you get along... but they know each other better and longer. I'm in that situation. The people I'm friends with are lovely but they have things established, they know ins and outs, they hang out, they talk, they're similar. I don't have that with anyone. The last girl who was my best friend even had a friend closer to her than me. Now I can tell my friend has moved on, she's found new friends to replace me with even though I can't remember the last time someone made me feel appreciated like her.

I wish I could be more likable, maybe? I can't tell what my problem is. I expect some girl to pop into my life and befriend me, which is ridiculous, but a silent hope. I'm not trying to bother with my family or getting a bf/gf, that's a lost cause. I'm only sure of the fact I'll never have that connection with a person. Maybe the death of my friendliness ends with the acceptance that I will never be somebody's best friend. Maybe I have to learn to like it. I'll just talk to my posters and frown all the time.

I feel sick at the fact I've never really been someone's first choice platonically or romantically. I can't tell if I'm supposed to be out there shaking hands and giving compliments in hopes of another lonely girl liking me and becoming my friend. My last rant almost made me cry, this time I'm just over it. This feeling of loneliness is not temporary, it phases in and out.

[imagionationstation]

BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD! Once you are given this award you're supposed to paste it in the asks of 8 people who deserve it. If you break the chain nothing happens, but it's sweet to know someone thinks you're beautiful inside and out

*looks at you with my big, misty, slightly rounded eyes*

I was. I was not expecting such kindness. That was not how today was supposed to go. AH. No. My heart. So full.

Donnie: Me Leo: You

I WANT TO SPREAD KINDNESS TO OTHERS

OKAY, FIRST EIGHT PEOPLE WHO COME TO MIND, AND GO-

[lesbianwyllravengard]

so my general paranoia has always been pretty bad (hi ocd) but I thought it was more manageable the past few years as I've matured and gotten better at catching myself before I spiral, but recently (as in the past three weeks or so) it's been so bad that I do things impulsively as I'm spiralling without even realising it and it's been negatively affecting the way I perceive how friends think of me which I do NOT want to start happening again because that sucked. Idk why it's happening but I'd be grateful for any advice idrk what else to say about it.

[knightofleo]

[thebirdandhersong]

I think in between having medium level body dysmorphic background noise since elementary school and the annoying mouse critic voice in my head doing comparison studies 80% of the time, it's really a step forward that I'm now able to look myself in the mirror and say: okay. Let's start with this: I'm glad I have this body. I'm going to treat it well. I may not like the way it looks at times, but it's mine.

[moonlitministry]

AH I JUST HAVE TO EXPRESS MY ADMIRATION AND RESPECT FOR YOU BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER SEEN THE FANS OF THE FIRST GHOST ERAS 😭😭🙏🏻

i mean.. i can write an essay on how much o love these eras YAAAAA ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

THEIR THE BEST ERA'S FR THEIR SO UNDERRATED i wish there was more content of them and am glad to see there are some other people actually liking them out there haha, thank you!

[loo-nuh-tik]

So fucking beautiful your selfies always make me gasp 🙊

[unproduciblesmackdown]

also more odds & ends orville info & more not Not orville/phil info as well:

"In Steinkellner’s version of Summer Stock, Jane Falbury (Danielle Wade) and “Pop,” her father (Stephen Lee Anderson), are struggling to hang on to the family farm. Their farm is one of the few in the Connecticut River Valley that hasn’t been absorbed by the Wingates, whose holdings completely surround theirs.

The widow Margaret Wingate (Veanne Cox), whom son Orville (Will Roland) aptly describes as having eyes “as cold as death itself,” plans to absorb the Falbury farm by the simple expedient of having Orville marry Jane. After all the two kids had decided they were engaged in first grade!

Enter the prodigal younger sister Gloria (Arianna Rosario) who has been seduced by the lure of the Great White Way. She returns to the farm bringing along Joe Ross (Corbin Bleu in the Gene Kelly role), the director of the show that will make her a star, its composer Phil Filmore (Gilbert L. Bailey II), and the entire company. She has generously offered the company, which can’t afford rehearsal space in New York, the use of the family farm’s barn. Sister Jane reluctantly agrees to the intrusion with the proviso that the thespians will double as farm hands.

As rehearsals progress, Phil discovers that Orville, a bit of a doormat who has been raised with the understanding that he will never have to work, is a musical wunderkind. He is enlisted to work his magic on the show’s score and begins to blossom.

Widow Wingate takes umbrage with all this and vows to shut the enterprise down. Fortunately, the cold embers in her soul are stirred to renewed life by her encounter with Montgomery Leach (J. Anthony Crane), the has-been ham enlisted to give Ross’s show some cachet, so all might not be lost.

[...]

They make this Summer Stock a veritable feast of nostalgia. I was especially taken by the amusing way Steinkellner used Jackie Gleason’s theme song “Always” to further widow Wingate’s plot to get Jane and Orville hitched.

[...]

Orville, who has found personal liberation in show biz, is accorded a moment that reminded me of a similar scene in the musical version of The Producers. In a triumphant declaration of his emergence from under his mother’s thumb he exults, “I’m in the theatre! And I love it!” The audience loved it, too.

[...]

As director, Feore has elicited some wonderful performances, especially from subsidiary characters. Veanne Cox is splendid as Margaret Wingate as is J. Anthony Crane as Montgomery Leach, the faded matinee idol. Will Roland (Orville) and Gilbert L. Bailey II (Phil) both have wonderful moments and their intense professional friendship is one of the show’s highlights."

INTENSE PROFESSIONAL FRIENDSHIP you say....and also ofc everything about orville and wanting to be a musician and being in the theatre and he loves it sounds so good. i love it

[haarute]

reading posts about people noticing things that you do being its own form of love, and then thinking that the thought of being perceived at all is actually terrifying to me because i cannot imagine a situation where that wouldn't be a criticism of my person. and the realization that this is not supposed to be the case is wild to me lmao.

[rose-tinting]

People often comment on like

the amount of bracelets I wear asking if it bothers me and like

you think I wore something that bothers me??? You think I’d just Subject Myself to something I hate??? lmao

Sure. I’m just Tormenting myself by Voluntarily Wearing Bracelets I don’t Have to wear. Even though I don’t wear makeup most of the time and even when I do it’s literally just eyeliner and eye shadow. Sure. I’m just Torturing Myself for No Reason. I must be.

[ratspider]

there's so many things i'm gonna do When I Get The Money but one of them is to get weirder. i need to indulge my 12-year-old self and wear the fuckin mlp shirt. wear plastic jewellery and dye my hair rainbow and buy myself dog collars and cosplay in public and most importantly diy that shit, but if i can't/don't want to i'm going to raid hot topic and claire's. i need to i need to i need to

[foldingfittedsheets]

I’d like to entertain and enliven you now with the saga of my Slut Era.

I’ve always been a serial monogamist and my shortest long term relationships clocked in at three years. So perhaps that’s why when I finally broke it off with my ex I went insane on dating. Part of it was definitely just that between anxiety and loneliness I wanted to fill up my time.

This happened when I was living alone for the first time, no roommates, just me and my little cat Leeloo. I didn’t want to come home to an empty house so instead I set up dates.

Most of these were disastrous. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and I had a lot more first dates than second because they’d seen enough, including the one where people aggressively complimented me.

But after a few months I had four people I was seeing simultaneously. I was up front with all of them that things were not exclusive, and they all agreed, so no infidelity took place here, just a lot of hijinks.

Here’s who was on the dating roster:

• An apprentice woodworker that we’ll call Jill. I honestly thought at 26 years old that her being 21 wasn’t a problem age gap and I quickly learned that there was a vast gulf of both maturity and life experience between us. Jill described herself as “heteroflexible” and had just dumped her first boyfriend to flirt it up with me.

• A married woman looking for a friends with benefits. We’ll call her Alice. I insisted on meeting her husband first to be sure I wasn’t part of a cheating mess and he gave me his blessing when I stayed over at her house. Years later when he and Alice had divorced I would go on to sell him and his new fiancée an engagement ring and we both realized at the end how we knew each other and it was wildly awkward. Alice was nice, but a hardcore vegan who insisted I brush my teeth if I so much as ate string cheese before I could kiss her. She was also unhappy in her marriage and was feeling out if I’d want to get serious.

• A bartender dubbed Snakebites, so called because of her signature piercings. She cooked me a steak so raw it was still mooing and some of the best asparagus I’d ever had. In our singular sexy encounter she bit my nipple and I never got over it. Really don't bite someone if you don't know their preference and work up in pressure. We weren’t terribly compatible but neither of us were willing to admit it yet. Truthfully I considered still dating her solely because I desperately wanted her bathroom. It had all black tile, black toilet, black sink, a rain shower in the corner and a jacuzzi tub. I may not have loved her but god I loved that bathroom.

And finally,

• My beloved, who I would go on to marry, who was dealing with a lot of personal stuff at the time. Obviously that meant I liked them the best of all the people I was seeing because we were both disasters at the time.

So that’s the cast of this little misadventure. Now, our story begins with Jill.

Jill was someone who heightened my anxiety. Each of the three times she came to my home she brought and left more stuff. A self help book, a ramen kit, the entire Teen Titans collection of DVDs. It was like she was trying to move in. She also liked to deride my taste in things, frequently calling me a pleb when I mentioned a band or show I liked.

She was working on a gorgeous little decorative table in her woodworking program. The main wood for the top had a beautiful dapple of knots like jaguar spots, and when she showed me a picture I exclaimed how pretty it was.

“Do you want it?”

“Oh- I mean it’s lovely, I wouldn’t mind having it, but you should sell it and make some money!”

But she was adamant. She’d give me the little side table. At about this time, Alice was starting to get awfully lovey for a FWB. I knew she wasn’t happy with her husband but I also knew we were not a good fit. Fun fact: Alice and her husband were step siblings with a pretty hefty age gap. They got together when he stumbled upon a kink photo shoot she’d done with vegetables. None of their family was happy about the relationship but they weren’t related by blood so it was fine.

So I was fending off more overt romantic advances from Alice, and feeling increasingly like I needed to break things off with Jill. Snakebites wasn’t ever initiating communication and I decided to pull a lot of plugs at once.

I ghosted Snakebites, told Alice that I thought we should cool it, and in a move worthy of a rom-com I asked my beloved if I could pretend we were exclusive to put off Jill. They agreed and I texted Jill to let her know that I was no longer single.

I was not prepared for Jill’s response. She. Was. Devastated. She flew off the handle. She’d just been waiting for the right time to tell me how she felt about me! How dare I do this to her!

What about the table?!

“You should keep the table, it’s gorgeous, you’ll be able to sell it, but I don’t expect a free table.”

Silence met me after that text. I worried and fretted and eventually headed home.

There on my doorstep. The table.

It was a small little end table, reeking of oil and polish, but very beautiful. I brought it inside. The little drawer didn’t even have a knob or guide rails. But it did have a handwritten bill proclaiming that it was costing me $500.

“I can’t afford a $500 table, Jill!” I texted.

“Well you kept saying how nice it was. I spent a lot of time on it.”

“I’m not saying it’s not worth $500” (it wasn’t, it was a tiny side table made by an apprentice) “but I can’t buy a $500 table.”

“Make me an offer.”

I stared at the little table. I did actually like it, but I worried about the repercussions of entering into this deal. Hesitantly I typed back, “$300.” I didn’t think it was worth that much but I didn’t want to insult her too badly.

This suited her for the night. But the next day she informed me she needed a new bed, and that she’d take her $300 in credit toward a new mattress. I spent the whole next day basically wrangling with her over what she wanted and eventually she spiked back up to demanding $500 for the damn table.

“Let me just give it back,” I begged. It was not the first, second, or even third time I’d asked to return the thing but this time she finally relented and gave me her address. Since she lived with her parents still I’d never been over.

I called up my beloved and said, “Hey, I need moral support, can you run an errand with me?”

They agreed which is how we loaded up a self help book, a ramen kit, the entire Teen Titans DVD collection, and the table from hell into my little car together. Jill had said to meet her at one o'clock. I intended to drop everything off at noon and be done with this madness.

But while my beloved and I were on the doorstep leaving everything I heard, “Jill? You’re home early,” through the door. Her mom opened it to peer at us in confusion.

“I was just bringing Jill’s stuff back!” I chirped in alarm.

With little tact and a lot of speed we left her with Jill’s collection of things and then I sped out of there like my tail was on fire. I handed my phone to my beloved as I zoomed away instructing them to block Jill’s number. I was free. The tabletross around my neck had been returned.

It was about a month after that when my beloved and I officially began dating exclusively. I had wrapped up all my messy dating threads and it was a relief to be in a relationship again. They went on a trip to Mexico shortly after we made it official.

So I knew they were out of town. But next morning I walked out to my car and beheld a lipstick kiss pressed to the drivers side window.

I was petrified. I had just dumped three girls at once and had an extremely messy back and forth with one of them. Did I have a stalker?!

Of the girls, Alice seemed like likeliest candidate, being of a stronger lipstick variety girl than Jill or Snakebites. We had ended things a bit stiffly, but still cordial. She just laughed when I asked if she knew anything about it. “Nope,” she said, “but good luck.”

I’d rather have walked over broken glass then text Jill, and I’d firmly ghosted Snakebites so I was scared to reopen communication to ask if she was stalking me. I had to drop it. But it haunted me, that lipstick kiss.

For months I was jumpy, wondering which of my spurned lovers had done it. And why. Was it a threat? A goodbye? I lay awake thinking about it, worrying about how everyone I’d dated knew where I lived, which car was mine.

Finally, nothing else happened and I moved on. The kiss would remain a mystery and I had to be content with that.

It was a year later when I finally started filling my mom in on my dating escapades that I finally got closure. She was hooting and laughing as I went over the table debacle. Then I paused and added, “And then this kiss showed up on my car.”

“Did you like it?”

“What? No! I’m pretty sure one of them was stalking me! Who else would leave a kiss on my car?”

My mom started bellowing with laughter. “I did!” She wheezed.

Apparently. My mother had been driving by my place. And decided that a cute little gesture would be to leave me a kiss. And then decided to never mention it to me even though she’s never done anything like that previously.

“It scared the crap out of me!” I yelled while she collapsed with helpless laughter. “I thought I had a stalker! How could I possibly have known that was you?!”

“How could I have known you’d just broken up with three girls at once?” She wheezed in rejoinder and like. Fair play.

So that’s how my mom convinced me I had a stalker and I got out of buying a $500 table.